QUESTION I.

What raises your admiration, when grace is in exercise in your soul?

ANS. GREAT is the mistery of godli­ness! My admiration often rises beyond expression. But I will try to express some of my ideas as well as I can. I greatly admire I should be made to hear and know the joyful sound! I, that was far off! I, that was an enemy to King JE­SUS! I, that was by nature a child of wrath even as others! Why was it I that was ta­ken, while others are left! I can't resolve this mistery; it still remains a wonder! I must leave it with thanksgiving in the hands of GOD, as my blessed Savior did, saying, Even so, Father, for so it seemed good in thy fight.

BUT that which raises my admiration the highest is, the way that mercy reaches sin­ners; that GOD should be manifest in the flesh: That the King of Heaven should die [Page 4] for his rebellious subjects! That the Crea­tor should bear the punishment due to his poor, sinful creatures! O this is astonish­ing love and condescension! I wonder and admire! O this excellent way of redemp­tion! The love of GOD passes all under­standing. I can see and know but little of the love of GOD that passes knowledge: But what I see thereof looks very wonder­ful: Yet I wonder at my own stupidity, that I am so little affected with this won­derful love of GOD. Why don't my ad­miration rise vastly higher than ever it did yet? I wonder that my tho'ts are so flat and low, while I hope I am redeemed from eter­nal death by the precious blood of CHRIST.

QU. II. What is your sorrow and mourning?

ANS. I Mourn that I have sinned, and am still a sinner against the LORD of GLORY: That I am so unlike to CHRIST: That when I would do good evil is present with me: That my heart is so evil, so vain and so stupid, and that I can do no more service for GOD and his children. It causes sorrow and mourning when I see that my sins have pierced the Son of [Page 5] GOD. O this is a sorrowful sight! What have I done? Did my sins torment the blessed King of Glory? I can't but mourn to think of this; and that any of my sins, the murderers that wounded the heart of JESUS, should be entertained in my heart.—I mourn for the precious sons and daughters of Zion, when I see them mourning under various trou­bles; their sorrow is my sorrow. I mourn to see the cause of GOD wounded at any time by any of its professed friends; and to see many going on to all appearance in the broad way that leads to destruction, slighting the blood of the Lamb of GOD. Grace teaches me to mourn for sin wherever I see it, whe­ther in myself or others.

QUES. III What is your joy and rejoicing?

ANS. I Rejoice in the LORD, and joy in him who is the rock of my salvation. I rejoice in what the LORD hath done. He hath made me glad thro' his work, and I will tri­umph in the work of his hands. When I have a view of the glorious perfections of GOD, I give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness. Tho' I am a mourning sinner, yet I rejoice that [Page 6] the LORD makes me mourn, and that he hath promised comfort to those that mourn: Thus I see he gives grace for grace. I rejoice in hope of the glory of GOD, and of the fulfilment of all the exceeding great and precious pro­mises which will be the perfection of holiness, the destruction of sin, the end of all sorrow and the perfection of all joy. I rejoice to see and hear of subjects being born to King JESUS: I love to hear them speaking Canaan's sweet lan­guage, and their joy is my joy. Grace teaches me to rejoice in the LORD's work wherever I see it, and to rejoice in nothing but what is the LORD's. Whatsoever the King does plea­ses all the people that are governed by his grace. My various joys are too numerous to reckon up in order, and I expect they will ne­ver end, but increase and endure forever. My joys are now but just budded; the be­gining is small, but the latter end shall greatly increase. Some drops of joy have now entered into my soul; but I hope soon to enter into the joy of my LORD.

QUES. IV. What do you hate?

ANS. I Hate sin; especially the sins of my own heart: The pride, unbelief and [Page 7] vanity that lurks within are my hateful ene­mies. There is nothing so hateful as sin, whether it shews itself in thought, word or deed. The grace of GOD teaches me to hate whatsoever the LORD hates.

QUESTION V. What do you love?

ANSWER. GRACE teaches me to love whatsoever is like the altogether lovely JESUS; he is the centre of love. GOD is love, and to him all true love will fly. The Father, Son and Holy Ghost make one essential GOD of love, manifested to us in a most familiar, condescending man­ner by the Son of GOD, who became the son of man, that we might become the children of GOD. O glorious beauty! Essential love! How should my heart forever burn with love to this lovely One! Well may it be said, He is altogether lovely: The full perfection of all that is excellent shines in his lovely face. How sweet are all his commands! They are a perfect law of liberty, and are very lovely to me. For JESUS' sake I love my fellow crea­tures, though I hate the ways of sinners. But I [Page 8] have a special love to the Saints, the excellent, in whom I take delight. They are more love­ly than others, because they have received a measure of the lovely Spirit of GOD. They re­semble the King in some measure: They can talk his language, and the more they are like him the more lovely they are. We ought to love one another as JESUS has loved us, and yet love the LORD our GOD with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. All my love to creatures should be for his sake, from whom all loveliness proceeds; so that let me love whom or what I will, still all my love should be set upon GOD. I see here is a sweet mistery and loving harmony, which looks very beautiful and lovely to me.

QUESTION VI. What are your fears?

ANS. PErfect love casteth out fear: But still the fear of the LORD is the begining of wisdom. I am subject to many fears thro' imperfection, and for want of more love; which fears cause a degree of torment. When love grows cold I fear I shall at last pe­rish by my enemies, and that I do not belong to the family of CHRIST; that I do not love [Page 9] him nor his children as true-hearted Christi­ans do; that all my love is self-love, and that I shall at last be forever separated from CHRIST and the Saints, &c. I also fear the faces of mor­tals. And many outward dangers cause fears: Without are fightings, and within are fears. But all these fears, and many more of the same nature, cannot stand before the love of JESUS. These are the fears that perfect love will cast out; and the true fear of the LORD will banish them from the soul. Grace teaches me only to fear the LORD, with a pleasant loving fear: Fearing to sin against GOD, or to break the least of his commandments. The true fear of the LORD is in sweet agreement with love, and there is no torment therein.

QUEST. VII. What do you hope for?

ANSW. I Hope for unspeakable blessings. I hope that my LORD's kingdom will advance until it fills the whole earth, and my GOD will subdue all things to himself, and the loftiness of all flesh will be brought down, and every knee will bow to King JESUS, and the LORD alone shall be exalted. When all this [Page 10] comes to pass my hopes will all be accomplish­ed. I hope for compleat deliverance from sin, and to be made perfectly holy: Then I hope to see and know what GOD hath laid up for them that love him.—Above all I hope that mine eyes shall see the King in his beauty, by whose death I have hopes of eternal life: And when I see him as he is, I hope I shall be like unto him▪ and also see all his blessed family toge­ther. O what a glorious company I hope to see, all looking like the lovely JESUS! I hope for wonderful things which I see not, and I de­sire with patience to wait for them. CHRIST is my hope; therefore I expect my hope will never make me ashamed. He is in all his children the hope of glory; which hope is as an anchor to the soul, sure and stedfast. Glory of GOD for my hope: I might as justly been in keen despair, where hope could never come.

QUEST. VIII. What are your desires?

ANS. MY desires are as large and extensive as my hopes, and are very nu­merous, which cannot all be told; but some of them I will mention, which may compre­hend them all.—I desire all that I hope for. I have such large desire [...] [...]ha [...] all the riches of [Page 11] the earth cannot satisfy me. My soul thirsteth for GOD, for the living GOD. I can desire no­thing greater, and nothing less can give me satisfaction. O how long must I remain at such a distance from GOD? How long must I remain a sinner? I long to be perfectly holy. I never shall be fully satisfied until I awake in the likeness of CHRIST. I greatly desire to be an instrument used in the hands of GOD, to shew forth his praises; to be a vessel fitted for the blessed Master's use and service; to know and do his will continually. I desire to bear much fruit, that thereby the heavenly Father may be glorified: And the same blessings I de­sire for my own soul I desire for all the elect of GOD: I want to have them all bro't home to JESUS, and to have all creatures bowing at his feet. I desire the fulfilment of all the promises, then all that are excellent and love­ly shall be together, and sing and eternal song of praise to GOD and the Lamb; and never sin, nor never part to endless ages: Every one casting the crown of all their joy, down before him who only is worthy of all the glory. O what a glorious day is at hand when all the desires that the LORD gives to all his chil­dren shall be more than granted!

QUESTION IX.
What enemies have you to fight against?

ANS. THere is a large army encamped a­gainst me, who are under three ge­nerals, the world, the flesh and the devil: These with all their host I must resist with spiritual weapons; and it will never be law­ful nor prudent for me to yield or flee before the enemy; but as I have listed in the King's service during life, I must fight as long as I remain in the enemy's country. My King gives all his soldiers a noble bounty and good wa­ges, and sets open a full store, where there is a plenty of weapons of proof, that never fail when well used, of prevailing against the ene­my: And a full store of provision, food well dressed for all that are hungry: And raiment plenty, fit to wear in the palace of glory: And his command and promise is, Be thou faithful unto the death and I will give thee a crown of life. The world seeks to ruin my soul, sometimes by flatteries and sometimes by frowns; but I must not regard it, but go strait forward toward the heavenly world and never be conformed to this world, but always seek to be transformed by the renewing of my mind, after the image of GOD's dear SON. I must not fear them that can kill the body, and do no more. The flesh is a subtle enemy and [Page 13] pleads hard to be indulged in sin: But I must make no provision for the flesh, to ful­fil the lusts thereof. These selfish enemies do me the most damage. The world and sa­tan with all their host could do me but little hurt, if it was not for a number of deceitful foes within, always ready to let in the ene­my, and to crowd themselves into all my best company, spoiling my meditation and con­versation. The devil like a roaring lion goes about seeking whom he may devour; yet every weak lamb is bound to resist this lion stedfast in the faith. My enemies compass me about like bees; an army without, and an army within: They are lively and strong, the weakest of these enemies are too strong for me. But yet I must fight and never yield until they are all overcome. I, that have destroyed myself, and am weak and faint, and have no strength; I, must fight against an host that are set in battle array against me; and I am commanded not to fear, but to withstand in the evil day, and having done all still I must stand. He that overcom­eth shall inherit all things.

QUES. X. How can you have any hopes of being an overcomer, seeing you have no strength?

ANSW. THE LORD is my strength and song: He also is become my salvation: He giveth power to the faint, and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Though an host encamp against me, I will not fear; for in the name of the LORD I can destroy them. By my GOD I can run through a troop, and leap over a wall. I can do all things through CHRIST who strengtheneth me. If I can but set the LORD always before my face, I shall not be moved. As long as I trust in the LORD I know I shall be safe; for his promises are sure to all that trust in him. I must be always diligent in the work and warfare that the LORD has appointed me: Rejoicing in CHRIST JESUS, and having no confidence in the flesh. I must watch and pray, fight and wres­tle against principalities and powers, against spiritual wickedness in high places. And I trust the LORD will make me triumph over sin, death and hell, with all their armies. Every enemy is conquered by JESUS the glorious Captain of salvation. The serpent's head is broke. My soul shall make her boast in the LORD, and in his name and strength I hope to triumph over every ene­my as young David did over Gol [...]ah.

O How safe I feel! My soul defies every [Page 15] enemy: Though I am as weak as grass, yet my soul triumphs in her King. There is strength enough in JESUS. Take courage O my soul and fight valiantly against every sin; especially against pride of heart, which is spiritual wickedness in high places. The LORD hates an high look and abhors a proud heart: But those who learn of him to be meek and lowly shall find rest to their souls.

Q. XI. What should you aim at, and what should be the motive of all your tho'ts, words and actions?

ANSW. THE glory of GOD should al­ways be my aim. Whether I eat or drink, or whatever I do, I should do all to the glory of GOD. This is the most noble motive that can be set before me. This I believe is the joyful work of the shin­ing armies in glory, to do all they do to the glory of GOD: Could I attain to this a hap­py creature I should be. My joyful work should always be to glorify my Father who [Page 16] is in Heaven. Herein will he be glorified, if I bear much fruit. But my unbelieving heart says, What fruit can such a thorn as I am bear? The LORD says, I am a green fir-tree; from me is thy fruit found. Abide in me and I in you: As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine, no more can ye, except ye abide in me." If I abide in CHRIST and keep his commandments I shall bear good fruit. The fruit of the Spi­rit is exceeding sweet and pleasant to the taste: What is sweeter than love, joy and peace? Lovely and pleasant is the work my LORD calls me to do. Why should my evil heart be backward or unwilling to do the work of Saints and Angels in glory. It will be for my happiness to always be sub­mitted to the will of GOD. I know his will is for the best; and to constantly continue in his service; I know his service is good and easy: And to cast all my care upon him. I know he will take better care of me than I can of myself. O that I might be used as an instrument for the glory of Him whose essen­tial glory can never be increased by any of his creatures. While the glory of GOD is the work I aim at, my soul can l [...]k up and rejoice. Then am I in a fit circumstance to find the truth of that promise of the blessed JESUS, nothing shall by any means hurt you. Then let what will come upon me, [Page 17] what need I care? If GOD is but glorified thereby, I have my heart's desire. It will be happy living if I live unto the LORD, and it will be happy dying if I die unto the LORD: If the LORD is but glorified by me all will be well, whether in sickness or health, life or death. Our glorious Leader has cast up a noble high-way called the way of holiness, and the redeemed of the LORD shall walk therein. The blessed Savior walk­ed in this way himself, [...]eting us a bright ex­ample, and he says, Follow me. And the happy souls that follow JESUS shall ran and not be weary; shall walk and not be faint: And go from strength to strength, 'till in Zion every one shall appear before GOD. Then shall all the glory be forever ascribed to Him who only is worthy of praise from all his creatures, in a special manner from those that he not on­ly made, but redeemed from eternal misery, by his own most precious blood.—Worthy is the LAMB that was slain to receive all glory; blessing and honor, in time and to eternity.

QUESTION XII. What is the difference between this life and the eternal World, to which you are going?

ANSW. THIS is too hard a question for me to answer whilst I re­main in the tents of mortality: But I can tell some of my weak ideas. This life is short, like a vapor that appears a little while and then vanishes away: So uncertain when it will end, that I never know but that the last hour thereof is really come. But the world to which I am going will never va­nish away; there my state will be forever fix­ed, nor shall I ever find the middle nor end thereof. Here I am only as a stranger upon a journey, hastily passing through a narrow wilderness, where I have no continuing city: But the world to which I am going will be my home, my everlasting habitati­on; I shall not be a stranger there, for I am going to my own People. All the enjoy­ments of this life are uncertain, and may be all suddenly taken from me: I can call no­thing my own, (except it be that good part that Mary chose; if I have got that, it shall never be taken from me, for it is an earnest of the inheritance to which I am going.) All the riches of this world are of but small value, and will never do for a portion; they [Page 19] cannot satisfy the soul: But all things are certain and enduring in the heavenly world; treasures laid up there are of infinite value, and will fully satisfy the desires of an immor­tal soul. The present life is a mixtue of good and evil, joy and sorrow: Prosperity and ad­versity are set one over against the other; but there will be no such mixture in the eternal world. The present life is a state of war, where we should shew our valor for our LORD the King, in the land where his ene­mies dwell. A state of trial for a long eter­nity; a place for the poor Saints to mourn and weep under the affliction of a body of sin and death: But the world of glory where all the Saints are going, is a state of triumph­ing over every enemy, a state of perfect peace, where all that are here tried and come forth as gold, shall need no more trying but shall shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father. There shall be no mourning, sorrow nor crying there; no more trouble with a body of sin and death. There shall be given a free reward for all the free grace that the LORD enables his children to im­prove to his glory in time. Here I have some desires to praise the blessed JESUS; but find I can scarce touch upon the notes of that heavenly song. But I hope I am going where I shall join with all the happy Singers, to praise my GOD in a sweet melodious manner. [Page 20] Here I go mourning from day to day be­cause of my distance from the lovely spring of all my joys: But I hope I am going where I shall be satisfied with nearness to the lovely JESUS, and with the company of all his love­ly children, who are now scattered like sheep in a wilderness, but soon they will be all to­gether, and never be scattered again. Here I am greatly troubled with the monster sin, who is blowing his poison breath upon all I do, spoiling my best duties: But I hope I am going where sin can never go. O what a shout of praise I shall sing to my glorious Deliverer, if ever I get perfectly free from sin! Here I can have but now and then a drop of heavenly pleasure, just enough to en­courage and strengthen me to press forward on my journey: But when I get home I hope my LORD will make me drink of the River of his pleasure forever. Here I am full of de­sires which are not yet satisfied. But I hope I am going where I shall enjoy more than I can desire or wish for here.—But what can I conceive of the boundless joys that GOD has prepared for all that love him? O how dark are all my ideas of the eternal world, to which I am hastily going! Grace is a fore­taste and earnest of the glorious inheritance, therefore we may know enough thereof in time to ravish our hearts, and make us long to reach our eternal Home.