CHAP. I.

AS the dealings of the Almighty with me from my youth have been singular, and are worthy to be retained in remembrance with thankfulness, I have committed to writing some remarkable circumstances of my life; tending to awaken future thanksgiving and watchful­ness in myself; and, considering how wonder­fully the divine arm has been manifested for my help, to encourage me to a steady trust therein, and perseverance in submission there­to: and in order to leave to my surviving re­lations, some memorials of the various exer­cises and dangers which I have passed through, and of the merciful support and preservation vouchsafed from the Lord therein.

But first it appears proper for me to leave a testimony to my parents, who not only pro­fessed the truth, but had it in possession. My father, Henry Payton, of Dudley in Wor­cestershire (son of John and Catherine Payton, respectable members in the society of Friends), was called into the work of the ministry about [Page 4] the eighteenth year of his age; and, when young, travelled much in the service of truth in divers parts of this nation, Ireland, and Scotland, as also in the American colonies: and from the testimonies of friends, I have good reason to believe that his service was tru­ly acceptable and edifying to the churches; his ministry being lively and clear, and his care not to exceed the openings of truth there­in apparent. His deportment was grave, his conduct clean and steady, and his charity, in proportion to his circumstances, diffusive. He was an affectionate husband, a tender father, and kind master; serviceable amongst his neigh­bours, and beloved and respected by them. Many years before his decease, he was disabled not only for public service in the ministry, but for acting in the private duties of life in pro­viding for his family; being afflicted with a pa­ralytic disorder, under which his faculties gra­dually gave way. I was much his companion in his long weakness, reading to him and attend­ing upon him; and can give this testimony re­specting him, that he retained the favour of the divine life to the last; and frequently ma­nifested a religious concern for his children, and particularly for me, his youngest child and tenderly beloved by him. He would of­ten say, 'The Lord bless you my children,' when his speech faltered so that he could arti­culate but little. In the seventy-fifth year of his age he was released from his affliction, and I doubt not is entered into everlasting bliss.

[Page 5]My mother was the daughter of Henry and Elizabeth Fowler, of Evesham in Worcester­shire. She was a religious woman, endued with a strong and steady understanding, and many and singular virtues whereby she was fitted for the part she had to act in life. This was peculiarly exercising in part, through my father's incapacity for business, the care of a pretty large and young family, and a consider­able business (and that not of the kind the most fit for a woman) devolving upon her. When my father was disabled from acting for his family, being engaged in a partnership in one branch of business which terminated in great loss of property, his affairs were in a very unsettled state; all which, with other very trying circumstances, my mother passed through with admirable steadiness, fortitude, and patience; and through a long series of necessary worldly engagements, she was fa­voured to retain the best life. The Lord greatly blessed her endeavours for her chil­dren, in temporals; and I doubt not heard her prayers that the dew of heaven might rest upon them. She would say, she desired not great riches for her children, but that they might dwell in the fear of God. Her steady and strong conjugal affection was mani­fested in my father's long indisposition, by ten­der attention; and after his decease, by her frequent mentioning him in terms which evin­ced that their union was founded in that love, which death cannot dissolve. She said that [Page 6] when she married him, she was so far from being intimidated at the thought of his leav­ing her, to travel in his ministerial office, that she entered the solemn covenant, with a re­solution to do her utmost to set him at liberty therein; and when it pleased Divine Wisdom to deprive her of a husband whom she might of­fer up to his service, she was desirous that some one at least of her offspring might be called to the ministry: which was fulfilled in me, whom she bore rather late in life, and tenderly loved; but, I believe she as freely dedicated me to the Lord as Hannah did Samuel, and was al­ways ready to put me forward in his work; yet was weightily concerned that I might not run before my true guide. And although, af­ter I was called to the ministry, it was my lot to be much absent from her, she never repined at it, but frequently encouraged and excited me to faithfulness: so that among the many mercies bestowed by bounteous Providence, I may justly number as not the least, the having such a parent.

She was an affectionate mother to all her children, yet very quick-sighted to their faults, ready to reprove them; and not sub­ject to indulge them in childhood; but educat­ed them in industry. In fine, she was an ex­ample of fortitude, cheerfulness, gravity, in­dustry, oeconomy, self-denial, and resignation to the divine will. She was generous to her friends; her house and heart always open to receive the Lord's messengers: for which she would say she thought a blessing was dropped [Page 7] upon her family. She was charitable to the poor; rather choosing to save from other ex­pences, that she might have to dispense. She died in the ninety-first year of her age; and retained a considerable degree of soundness of judgment until near the close of a useful, but careful life.

Thus descended, it may be supposed I was in the way to receive religious instruction from my infancy; and indeed I cannot date the first dawn of divine light upon my soul; for with humble thankfulness I may say, that early in the morning of life I knew the Lord to be a God nigh at hand; convincing of evil, and raising breathings after the saving knowledge of his divine love and power. Friends who travelled in the ministry usually lodged at my father's house. I loved their company when but very young, and their tender notice of me I commemorate with gratitude. And here I remark, that if our youth prized the favour of the company and converse of such whose "feet appear beautiful upon the mountains of salvation, and who have had large experi­ence of the love of God, they might profit much thereby.—But, alas! how often do some avoid their company, scarcely giving them an opportunity of manifesting to them that tender affection, wherewith their spirits are clothed; being probably afraid of reproof, on account of their indulging in liberties, contrary to the pure liberty of truth; which they think hard, although it be given in that love which seeks [Page 8] the true happiness of their souls. I could read well when very young, and (as is before hint­ed) spending much time with my afflicted fa­ther, I read much to him; and the experien­ces and sufferings of faithful martyrs, and of our worthy friends, with the accounts of the glorious exit of such as launched out of time in full assurance of everlasting bliss, made profit­able impressions upon my mind; my spirit be­ing often tendered thereby, and my love of virtue and piety strengthened; so that I may truly say that such holy persons, ‘though they are dead, yet speak.’ May their lan­guage be heard by the youth of the present and succeeding generations; and excite them to eschew the paths of vanity, and to follow the footsteps of Christ's companions. So will the song of his redeemed be theirs.

But, notwithstanding these promising begin­nings, as I grew up, I yielded to divers temp­tations, and was allured from the simplicity of truth; the evil propensities in nature getting the ascendency. But even in my childhood I experienced many conflicts, and my convictions for evil were strong; so that at times my heart was sorrowful, and my pillow watered with my tears, although my countenance and de­portment were mostly cheerful. Once, having yielded to temptation, my sense of guilt was such, that I concluded I had sinned against the Holy Ghost; and that, agreeably to Christ's testi­mony, I "should never be forgiven." This so affected my tender mind with sorrow and un­utterable [Page 9] distress, that it could not be entirely concealed from the family; although I was en­abled, even in childhood, to keep my exercis­es of mind much to myself. I think I must have been about eight or nine years old when it was thus with me; and as in my childhood I was several times visited with fevers, which brought me very low, I was led to consider how I was prepared for the awful change wherewith I was threatened; and a weighty sense rested upon my spirit, that my soul was not pure enough for admittance into Christ's holy kingdom. Sometimes I would covenant with the Lord to be more circumspect and watchful for the future; but the airy natural disposition again got the ascendency, whereby again an occasion for repentance would arise. My natural disposition was very volatile, and my apprehension quick; and as my faculties opened, I delighted much in books of a very contrary nature and tendency to those which had engaged my attention in my childhood. I had a near relation, who, notwithstanding his having been divinely favoured in his youth, had slighted his soul's mercies, and pursued ly­ing vanities. He kept house in the town; and through him, myself, and my sisters, had opportunities of obtaining plays and romances, which I read with avidity. I also spent so much time at his house as to be introduced into amuse­ments very inconsistent with the simplicity of truth, and my former religious impressions; so that my state was indeed dangerous, and but [Page 10] for the interposition of Divine Providence, I had been left to pursue courses which must have terminated deplorably. I also read histo­ry, was fond of poetry, and had a taste for philosophy; so that I was in the way to em­bellish my understanding (as is the common phrase), and become accomplished to shine in conversation; which might have tended to feed the vain proud nature, render me pleasing to those who were in it, and make me conspicu­ous in the world. But the Lord, in his wis­dom, designed to bring me to public view in a line directly opposite to worldly wisdom, plea­sure, or honour; and when he was pleased more fully to open to my understanding his great and glorious work of renovation of spirit, I saw that I must desist from these amusing publications and studies, and pursue the one necessary business, viz. working out the salva­tion of my immortal soul: and I esteem it a great mercy that I readily attended to this in­timation. However lawful it may be, in pro­per seasons, to look into the works of nature, and become acquainted with the history of for­mer or present times, my attention was now powerfully attracted to higher subjects; and had I pursued those lower things, I might have become as a "vessel marred upon the wheel." This is, alas! the case with many who have been divinely visited, but who, not deeply and steadily attending to the instructions of pure wisdom, but seeking to be wise and learned; in matters which merely relate to this [Page 11] present state, have not advanced in the simplici­ty of divine knowledge; and although it has re­mained obvious that the Lord's hand has merci­fully been turned upon them to form them for his service, they have not grown up to that degree of usefulness in Christ's church, whereto they might have attained, had they passively abode the turnings of his preparing hand. Were the sons and daughters of our religious society, who are favoured with good natural under­standings, clothed with heavenly wisdom, they would become and appear truly great, in the dignified simplicity and humility of the service of the King of kings. Human knowledge and acquirements too often puff up the minds of youth; and indeed some of more advanced age pride themselves therein, when, as examples to the rising generation, they should be cloth­ed with humility. It was observed of a truly honourable member of our favoured society, that 'he was a divine and a naturalist, and all of the Almighty's making.' ^* I have read very little on natural philosophy, and am not in a disposition to boast of my acquired know­ledge, of either human, natural, or divine things; but I may say, that I have admired how by one gleam of heavenly light the under­standing is opened into natural things; so as in degree to behold, as at one view, the gene­ral oeconomy of the divine Former of all things, as it is displayed in the outward crea­tion. This produces adoration to him under [Page 12] the humbling sense of his power, mercy, and wisdom, as well as admiration of his works; and discovers that they are indeed marvellous, and in their full extent incomprehensible; and impossible to be traced in innumerable ages. Therefore, let not the faculties of his adopted children be so improperly occupied in exploring them, as to prevent their advances in their va­rious stations in his militant church: when happily their souls are fixed in the triumphant, they will know so much, as for ever to inspire the angelic song of ‘Great and marvellous are thy works, Lord God Almighty, in wis­dom hast thou made them all!’

From these remarks I return to my educati­on, which, whilst I was at home, had not been entirely neglected, as to useful and neces­sary learning; yet, as through the afflicted circumstances of our family, I had been kept pretty closely there until I had attained my sixteenth year, my mother concluded to send me to London, and put me for one year un­der the care of Rachel Trafford, who, with her sister, kept a respectable boarding-school; not doubting her attention to me, as she when young had spent a considerable time in my fa­ther's family: and indeed she was affectionate­ly kind to me; and, as a minister as well as mistress, I believe her mind was frequently ex­ercised for the religious improvement of her scholars, which at times was manifested by verbal supplication for them, as well as advice and reproof.

[Page 13]I improved much for the time I staid in the school, in some arts taught in it; and my school-fellows behaved well to me; but being so far advanced toward maturity, tall, and proportionably grown for my age, I looked rather too much like a woman for a school; yet some of my school-fellows were older than myself, which I believe increased my mistress's anxious solicitude for our preservation, we be­ing (to use her own expression) a school of women. I soon connected myself most inti­mately with my mistress's niece, who acted as a teacher, and with one of the scholars, a sensible agreeable well-behaved young woman, but not of our society, who was admitted in­to the school to qualify herself in needle-work, for a school-mistress. As neither of them were much under the influence of religion, I did not profit by their conversation, in the most essential respect. But after I had been a few months in the school, I was favoured with a renewed visitation of divine love, and grew uneasy with my situation. Home became de­sirable, although I knew it to be a house of affliction; and on my intimating it to my dear mother, my brother James fetched me there, sooner than she intended when I left her.

Thus far I have commemorated the dealings of the Almighty with my soul, manifested principally in tender mercy; but now the day was coming wherein his righteous judgments were manifested against all that was high, and opposite to his pure spirit; in which day my [Page 14] wanderings from him, the Shepherd of Israel, were brought to my remembrance, and my sins set in order before me; which wrought great humiliation and brokenness of heart, with strong cries to him, that he would graciously pass by my transgressions, and receive me into covenant with himself. And although this dis­pensation was not agreeable to degenerated na­ture, which, like Adam when he had trans­gressed, seeks to evade the condemnation; yet, because of the glory which I was favoured to discover beyond it, and the divine love which I saw therein, I said, in the secret of my soul, "It is good for me to be under it;" and I was made willing patiently to abide the judg­ments of the Lord for sin, in order that I might witness remission thereof through the baptism of repentance, and the sanctifying life or spirit of his Son Jesus Christ. And this mercy, in the appointed season of infinite wis­dom, I experienced; so that my past trans­gressions were blotted out of the book of re­membrance, upon the terms of my future steady perseverance in the fear of God; and in the sensible exaltation of the attribute of divine mercy over judgment, my soul rejoiced with humble thankfulness. Yet as when the children of Israel were delivered out of Egypt, and travelled through the wilderness, they had there new trials of various kinds to encounter, insomuch that they thought their sufferings rather increased than diminished, and fre­quently feared perishing in that desert land; [Page 14] [...] [Page 15] so, being now relieved from the oppressive weight of past actual transgression, and travelling after the saints promissed inheritance, which is a state of establishment in righteous­ness, I had to pass, to the attainment thereof, through many deep baptisms and exercises of faith and patience. I was now brought into my own heart, which, by reason of the irre­gularity of its passions and inclinations, might well be compared to an uncultivated wilder­ness; through which I must travel, and where­in I must receive the law for the ordering of my outward conduct: and O! the seasons of hunger and thirst, the tossings and perplexities, the "thunderings, lightnings, and tempests," which seemed to threaten destruction, which I had to pass through in that day, are to be had in everlasting remembrance; with thanks­giving to that divine hand which preserved me from being so far dismayed at them as to look back with a desire to return to that country, or state, from which I had hap­pily escaped. The adversary here transform­ed himself as into an angel of light, and, un­der the specious appearance of righteousness, represented the way so strait, that it was im­possible to walk therein and act as a rational being; thereby endeavouring to discourage me, or prevent my attaining to the true gospel liberty, in the use of the creatures, and the course of my conduct. Indeed, in this season of deep distress, both the ‘earth and hea­vens were shaken;’ some of those religi­ous [Page 16] principles, which I had received by educa­tion, were called in question; and I was left without any foundation of certainty respecting them; nor could I attain to it by the testimo­ny of others, or the writings of such as had vindicated them to the world; being to re­ceive my convincement of them, from the deep ground of divine revelation.

All which I have seen was necessary to fit me for the service which was appointed me; that the foundations of my faith might be laid in certainty, and that I might be able to testi­fy with boldness, that I had experienced what I asserted to be the truth; and be also suita­bly qualified to sympathize with, and minister to, such as were in the like states. I saw early for what station I was designed in Christ's church. This manifestation of the divine will, my soul received with a good degree of re­signation; nevertheless, until the Lord's time for putting me forth to service was come, I was frequently assaulted with fears, lest it should be required of me at such times, and in such manners, as would be doubly hard to flesh and blood: and the adversary was very busy with his presentations, intending thereby either to dispirit my mind from pursuing its proper duty, or, by hurrying me into what had the appearance thereof, to bring me into confusion. But, in all these ‘voices of the stranger,’ there was a want of that cer­tainty, which I had concluded should attend such a discovery of the divine will, and which [Page 17] I was happily led to look for; and I was at length strengthened to covenant with the Al­mighty, that whenever the evidence was clear and strong, I would submit thereto.

And here it may not be unprofitable to re­mark, that some minds are more liable to be thus affected than others. Such as have a strong and quick imagination, and whose hearts have been deeply affected with the exceeding sinful­ness of sin, and of the love of God to man­kind; whose desires are strong, that the one might come to an end, and the other abound in the earth; it is difficult for these at all times (especially when young in religious experience) to keep the quiet habitation, wherein alone the voice of the true Shepherd is to be heard, and distinguished from that of the stranger's. But as the will becomes gradually resigned to that of God, and the imagination in its natural working silenced, and the soul comes more constantly to worship in the Lord's temple; the adversary in these false appearances is bound, or if suffered to present them, there is strength acquired to stand still and try the spirits. This I have seen, in the light of truth, to be absolutely necessary before we move in the Lord's service; the want of which has been productive of much confusion, and ad­ministered cause of reproach on our high and ho­ly profession, to such who are seeking for an oc­casion to lay waste the belief in divine revelation.

But to return:—Being come to the aforesaid state of resignation, I waited quietly to discern the puttings forth of the divine hand, in a state [Page 18] of earnest prayer that I might not be suffered to move before the proper time; which I have good ground to believe was heard and answer­ed; and that from the motion of divine life I was constrained to supplicate the Almighty in our little meeting at Dudley, the tenth day of the Second month, 1748, being then newly entered the twenty-second year of my age. May such of the Lord's children, whom he appoints to the solemn important service of the ministry, humbly and patiently wait to know when to move therein; as through neglect of it some have stept into it, before they have fully passed through the dispensation of prepa­ration for it; and, if ever they have become strong in his service, they have continued long in a state of weakness. Yet let none despise "the day of small things." A few words spoken under divine direction, are often blessed to those to whom the Master of the solemn assemblies directs them.

I continued to minister, as the Lord was pleased to give me ability, in great brokenness of heart, and for a time in but a few words; for great fear was upon my spirit lest I should minister in the wisdom of the creature, which ever brings death, and begets its like: and, in a sense of this danger, strong were my cries to the Almighty, that what I handed forth to the people might be unmixed, let it appear ever so simple or despisable in the view of the worldly wise and learned. And as I then continued to move in fear and trembling, the [Page 19] Lord was with me, and enlarged my under­standing, and increased my service in the open­ings of truth: at which his people rejoiced, and, in obedience to his requirings I felt sweet peace. Yet was my spirit frequently in hea­viness, being humbled with many deep exer­cises, which I found profitable to establish it in righteousness, although painful to nature. And I leave it as an observation, that I have seldom, if ever, seen any stand, and arrive to any considerable degree of usefulness in the church, whose foundation have not been deeply laid in afflictions and exercises; whereby they are crucified with Christ, and shall therefore rise with him to glory and honour, in the present as well as in a future state. But in all my afflictions and deep baptisms, the Shep­herd of Israel was with me, and preserved and supported my spirit to the honour of his own nature, to whom alone I could attribute the praise: for in those allotted days and years of tribulation, very little instrumental help was afforded me; my lot being cast in a quarter, where there were none near who were capable of giving me much assistance or wise counsel, not having trodden the same steps. I some­times thought my case was hidden from some of the Lord's servants, who were concerned to visit his heritage; or else that they were in part restrained from ministering to it; and my tongue was much sealed in silence, for my ex­ercises were incommunicable.

All this I saw to be of excellent use, as the contrary might have led to a dependance on the [Page 20] servants (which ever brings weakness); or have been productive of confusion, through my imparting my case to such as were not skilful to minister to it, and who nevertheless might have advised therein. I have seen it to be profitable and necessary for such as are in a state of infancy in religion, to dwell with their exercises; leaning simply on that arm, which alone is able to carry through them; and, un­til the mind has acquired a depth of judgment to distinguish clearly who is on the Lord's side, to be very cautious to whom they communi­cate them; lest they be wounded, by disco­vering those, whom they have chosen for their friends, to be enemies to the cross of Christ. Yet when the Lord directs, in times of great strait, to advise with some experienced servant, it will undoubtedly be advantageous; and a steady sympathizing friend is a great strength and blessing, when it is afforded in divine wisdom.

I am inclined to close this chapter with a lit­tle poem, which I wrote in my nineteenth year; as it has been handed about in manuscript, and suffered much by copying. It is even in print, and one whole verse omitted. Between my eighteenth and twenty-second year I penned several small tracts, all of a religious nature; but soon after I appeared in the ministry, I dropped my pen in regard to verses. I do not say it was a sacrifice required; but the conti­nuing of the practice might have proved a share some way: it might have engaged my [Page 21] attention too much, or tended to make me popular, which I have ever guarded against, perhaps too much so in some points; but I was early afraid of my mind and services being tarnished with vanity. And here I may add, that from the time I came from school, I read but little, save religious books; and after I appeared in the ministry, until late in life, read­ing even them was much taken from me, except the scriptures: all which I believe was in divine wisdom, that I might not minister from what I had gathered from religious writings; but might receive the arguments I was enabled to advance on behalf of the truth, by the imme­diate revelation of the Holy Spirit. And I can with truth say, that the Lord has been to me, mouth and wisdom, tongue and utterance, to my own humbling admiration. May all the praise be given to him now and for ever!

CHAP. II.

HAVING now entered the list of publick combatants in the Lamb's army, I pret­ty soon became concerned to travel for the pro­motion of truth and righteousness; and for more than twenty years, had but little inter­mission from gospel labours.

In the Fifth month, 1749 (old stile) I left home, in order to visit some part of Wales; in which journey my dear friend Lucy Brad­ley was made willing to accompany me (al­though, as she said, she knew not that her call to service was much farther than to assist me); with whom I travelled in sweet unity, she be­ing a true sympathizing friend, and deep tra­vailler in spirit, as well as rightly qualified pub­lickly to minister. We visited the meetings of Friends in Radnorshire, Monmouthshire, Gla­morganshire, Pembrokeshire, and part of North Wales; and in about seven weeks I returned home in peace and thankfulness, to my dear mother and relations; who had been made willing to give me up for truth's sake, and gladly received me back. In this journey the principal share of the publick service fell to my lot; wherein the Lord was evidently with me, strengthening for the work of the day to the honour of his own name; and the testimony of truth was sometimes exalted, in its own au­thority, over the libertine and hypocritical pro­fessors [Page 24] of it. The youth, and tender honest-minded, were visited and refreshed in divine love; liberty and strength were afforded to de­clare it to those not of our society; and I had ground to hope that our labour was not entire­ly in vain: some persons being powerfully af­fected, who, I hope, long retained a sense of that visitation; particularly William Phillips from Cornwall, who was then upon a visit to his relations at Swansea.

In less than a week after my return from this journey, I went to the circular yearly meeting for the seven western countries, which was held this year at Coventry, and was very large, and, in the main, satisfactory. It was attended by many valuable experienced mini­sters, who were careful of laying hands sud­denly upon me; although I had good reason to believe that the most weighty of them loved me; but were fearful of hurting me by discover­ing too much of their approbation or affection; which some minds, in the infancy of religious experience, have not been able to bear. Af­ter my return from this meeting, I was strip­ped of that strength wherewith the Almighty had been pleased to clothe me; which, with some other discouragement I met with, sunk me very low, insomuch that I was ready to doubt of all I had known, and call in question my commission to minister: and my soul was attacked by the adversary in some of his most subtil appearances, and baptized into a cloud of darkness. This dispensation I afterwards [Page 25] saw to be serviceable; the more so, as before my return from my Welsh journey, I had a prospect of another into the west of England; for therein I forgot all my former services, was emptied of all self-sufficiency, and became weak and depending as when I first engaged in the weighty service of the ministry: and it lives in my experi­ence, that thus the Lord will deal with his ser­vants, for their preservation, that they may dwell in a continual sense, that the excellency is of Him; from whom proceeds wisdom, power, light, utterance, peace, and every good gift.

My concern for the west continuing and in­creasing, I imparted it to my relations, who being willing to give me up (though sorry to part with me), I sought for a companion, but could hear of none suitable. This added to my exercise; for it seemed very dangerous for such a child as I, to travel alone; but after waiting as long as I durst, I laid my concern before Friends of our Monthly meeting, and request­ed their certificate, ^* but told them that I knew of no companion; and if they had not been [Page 26] free to let me go alone, I believe I should have been easy to have waited longer; but they gave me a certificate; and in the Eleventh month, 1749, I left home in great humility and fear, being accompanied by my dear bro­ther James Payton, who went with me to se­veral meetings in our own county, and left me not without some doubt on account of the na­tural weakness of my constitution, which he feared might suffer in this winter's journey. I proceeded to Bristol, and from thence, through part of the counties of Wilts, Somer­set, Dorset, and Devon, to Penzance in Corn­wall, and returned back to that city in the spring.

And although I went from home alone, I was not much without a suitable companion, the Almighty putting it into the heart of one or other of his servants to accompany me. Mary Fry, of Sutton in Wiltshire, went with me through Dorsetshire; and Mary Pole, of Mil­verton in Somersetshire, through Devonshire and Cornwall; who were both very tender of me, and serviceable to me. The latter was not in the ministry, but a solid sympathizing friend, and true labourer in spirit in meetings.

I visited the meetings of Friends pretty ge­nerally in Dorsetshire, Devonshire, and Corn­wall; some of which were attended by many people of other societies; before whom the Lord gave me boldness to testify of his truth with good authority, and to lay open the false and dangerous opinions of some professed [Page 27] Christians, particularly that of uncondition­al election and reprobation; which dark prin­ciple was then likely to gain ground in these parts. I was concerned to appoint meetings at several places, where Friends had no meet­ing-houses; all which I hope had their service. At Truro in Cornwall, I had a satisfactory meeting, although the people at that town had heretofore manifested their dislike to Friends labouring among them; but they be­haved pretty peaceably now, and I had cause to believe my service in this meeting tended to open the way for the circular yearly meeting to be held here; which it was in the year 1752, much to the satisfaction of Friends. At Bath, in my return, I was concerned to appoint a meeting for the strangers in town (it being the season for drinking the waters); to which some of them came, and it was a memorable opportunity, the power of truth being exalted to the reducing of their light and airy spirits, to some degree of solidity; for which my soul bowed in thankfulness to Him who calls to and qualifies for his service. In this meeting a man sat opposite to me, who wrote by intervals while I was speaking, and I apprehended was taking down what I said; but my spirit was borne above looking at that, being bound to the testimony of truth.

After staying about a week at Bristol, I went for the Welsh yearly meeting, which was held this year at Brecknock, being accom­panied by John Curtis, a valuable minister of [Page 28] Bristol, and divers other Friends. In our way we appointed meetings at Caerleon, Pontypool, and Abergavenny; at the first of which places, I could not find that there had ever been a meeting before; but the people behaved well, and I hope it ended to the satisfaction of the fensible friends present. It was held upon a First-day in the afternoon; and while we were in it, a number of people were going about the street with a fiddle; it being the custom in some places in Wales, after what they call divine ser­vice, to entertain themselves with musick, or other diversions. What an inconsistency!

That at Abergavenny was large, and I hope of service, in opening the way of the testimony amongst the people. Here a Presbyterian preacher made some disturbance in the close of it. I thought his aim was to cloud the doctrine which had been preached, and so prevent the people from being shaken thereby from their old sentiments; but he was blamed by them, and I hope missed his end. I had not much publick service at Brecknock, yet was glad I was there, for indeed it was a humbling time to me. For although, in porportion to my gift and experience, the Almighty had eminently favoured me in this journey; yet, on beholding the service and conduct of some other of his ministers, and comparing mine with them, I was led to look upon myself but as a mean in­strument, and greatly to esteem these my el­ders in the truth. O! how secretly does the Lord work, to the purifying of the hearts of such of [Page 29] his servants who desire to be divested of eve­ry high thought, and humbly to cast down their crowns at his feet: which was the ardent prayer of my soul, from the sense of the miser­able loss some had sustained, in being puffed up with self-conceit and the esteem of the peo­ple; which I have seen to be a very fallacious line to measure one's self by: for sometimes that which is highly applauded by them, is re­proved by that Spirit which searcheth all things.

From Brecknock I returned to Bristol yearly-meeting, from whence I thought of returning home; but, to my great disappointment, a concern rested upon me to proceed to the year­ly meeting at London, in company with Rach­el Wilson, who came with me from Brecknock, and was without any companion in the ministry. This brought a great exercise upon my mind, under the consideration of the concern it would bring upon my relations; who I knew were desirous that I might steadily move in the counsel of God; and perhaps might fear my running too fast, which I also dreaded; but finding I could not otherwise be easy, I advised with some friends, and particularly with my ancient and honourable friend, Ben­jamin Kidd, who encouraged me therein.

The Bristol yearly meeting ended satisfactori­ly, many valuable ministers attended it, and the testimony of Truth was measurably exalt­ed. It had pleased the Lord in the several times I had been in this city, to favour me with [Page 30] considerable liberty in the exercise of my gift, whereby a door was opened to me in the minds of Friends there; which favour I hope I receiv­ed with due thankfulness.

Being clear of Bristol, I proceeded to London attending several meetings in the way appointed by Rachel Wilson; at one of which we met with our valuable friend, Daniel Stanton from America, with whom we went in company to London; where we were affectionately received by many Friends, and I had good ground to believe my coming to that city, was in the will and wisdom of the Al­mighty, though greatly in a cross to my own.

After the yearly meeting, I returned direct­ly home, through mercy in peace, and was there gladly received by my dear mother, &c.

Upon a review of this journey, I found a­bundant cause to adore the wisdom, love, and care, of the heavenly Shepherd; which was eminently manifested in his conducting, dealing with, and preserving, me, a poor weak inex­perienced child. The many dangers I had escaped, the many deep exercises I had been supported under, with the multitude of favours conferred on so unworthy an object, struck me with admiration, and raised this acknow­ledgement, that He ‘had not dealt with me according to my desert, but according to the multitude of his mercies.’

My return from this journey was in the Fourth month (old stile), 17 [...]0. I staid about home until the fall of the year, when I found [Page 31] mind drawn to Bath, principally on the account of such as resorted thither to drink the waters; to which city I went, and spent a few weeks therein, and at Bristol, &c. I hope profitably. I passed the winter of this year chiefly at and about home, and amongst my relations.

In the spring of the year 1751, I attended the yearly meeting for Wales, held at Newport in Shropshire, which was large and divinely favour­ed. My dear friend Samuel Fothergill attended it, to whom I imparted a concern, which I had for some time been under, of visiting Ireland; in which he encouraged me, and advised that I would endeavour to get to Dublin half-year's meeting; and I had afterwards cause to believe his advice was right; for, although I did not arrive timely to attend it, yet, had I not come in time to have consulted Mary Peisley before she left the city, I might not have been favour­ed with her company. Accordingly I very soon set forward, my brother accompanying me to Liverpool, and seeing me on board a vessel bound for Dublin, in which he left me to the protection of Providence. We sailed down the harbour, but the wind proving contrary, lay that night at anchor, and the next day returned to Liverpool; where I was content to wait, un­til He who sent me forth was pleased to afford the means of my release from my native land; which was in a few days, when I was favoured with a good passage, for which my spirit was thankful. I took up my lodgings in Dublin at John Barclay's, by whom, though personally unknown, I was kindly received.

[Page 32]Soon after I landed I heard that my dear friend Mary Peisley was in town. I told her that, as I was without a companion, I should be glad if she could find freedom to go with me a part of the journey; to which she said little then, but before she left the city, she informed me that she had for some time felt drawings to visit the western and northern provinces, and was free to join me in these parts; with which I thankfully concurred. It is worthy remarking, that the evening before I landed, she being un­der the influence of heavenly goodness, and in that state resigned to go this journey, it ap­peared to her that a companion would be sent her from England. Thus does the Lord mer­cifully provide all things necessary for such as trust in him, and are willing to follow whither­soever he leads them.

Mary Peisley returned home from Dublin, in order to prepare for the journey. I staid a few days, and then left it with an intention to visit two meetings in the county of Wicklow, and return back to the city. Several Friends ac­companied me in a coach, which I mention as being singularly providential, for the day we left town I was taken ill; but as a meeting was appointed at Wicklow, we went forward, and reached the place that night. Next day I was much worse, yet attended the meeting and had some little service therein, though under a heavy load of sickness; which continuing, I re­turned the next day to Dublin (which I could not have done on horseback), where I was [Page 33] laid up for about two weeks; in all which time my mind was remarkably resigned to this dispensation of Providence; feeling sweet peace in giving up to come the journey, even if it were the Lord's will I should lay down my natural life in that city; having a comfortable hope that it would have been in peace; but as he saw meet, in wisdom and mercy, to raise me from this state of weakness, my earnest desire was, that my longer continuance in mutability might be to the honour of his ever worthy name.

In the time of my indisposition, I lodged at Robert Clibborn's, whose wife was exceeding­ly tender of me. John Barclay and two more in his family were ill, which rendered it im­proper for me to return to his house. I staid some little time in Dublin to recover my strength, and my friend John Barclay's indis­position proving mortal, I attended the meet­ing held on account of his funeral; which was very large, and attended with a good degree of solemnity. After this, I left the city ac­companied by a solid young woman, named Elizabeth Cariton, not in the ministry, who was with me about three weeks; in which time I passed through the meetings of Friends in the counties of Carlow and Wexford, to Waterford; where I was met by my dear friend Mary Peisley, who was my companion through most of the remainder of this jour­ney: and I had cause thankfully to acknow­ledge the mercy of Providence in affording me one so steady and experienced, from whose [Page 34] conduct I might gather instruction. We tra­velled together in great unity and affection, which rendered the trials we met with in the journey the more easy. These were consider­able, resulting in part from the nature of our services; which were mostly pointed to the states of persons or meetings, and exposed us to censure from spirits unsubjected to the pow­er of truth; but our good Master supported us through all, and nearly united our spirits to the living conscientious professors of it, in that nation. It was sometimes my lot in this jour­ney to appoint meetings in places where there were none of our Society, in which I had the unity of my companion and friend; and they mostly ended to satisfaction, the Almighty pro­portioning wisdom and strength to the occasi­ons. The 27th of the Seventh month I re­turned to Dublin, in hope that I might in a few days take my passage for my native land; but two women friends from England, who had been visiting Ireland, being expected in town soon, and to return home, I was free to wait a little for their company; but therein was disappointed, for one of the friends got a fall from her horse in Dublin street, by which she was disabled from pursuing her intention of going home. So I put to sea, but the wind proving contrary, we were forced back, after having been beating against it almost four days. This sunk my spirits considerably, but on my return service opened for me, and the wind being still contrary, I took a little turn in the [Page 35] country to satisfaction, and attended the pro­vince meeting for Leinster, where I was met by my dear friend Mary Peisley; with whom I went to her father's house, and staid about a week, and we went in company to the half-year's meeting at Dublin; in which solemnity I was favoured to minister in the authority of truth; and after taking an affectionate leave of my near friends, and especially of my compani­on, who was still more near to me in the union of the divine Spirit, I sailed for England the 12th of the Ninth month, 1751, ^* arrived at Park­gate 14th, and reached home the 16th, to the mutual rejoicing of myself and relations.

After my return my spirit rested some time in a quiet settlement, and great enjoyment in the truth; which was an abundant compensa­tion for all my labour and sufferings attending the journey. Before I left Ireland, I found my mind drawn to visit the quarterly meeting of ministers and elders in the province of Ul­ster by an Epistle; and soon after my return home, I was also concerned to write a few [Page 36] lines to a people at Cardiff in Wales, who had in part relinquished their former professions of religion, and sat together in silence, but were in an unsettled state.

This winter I found my mind drawn in the love of truth to visit the meetings of Friends in London, and experienced true peace in the discharge of that duty. My service was ac­ceptable to Friends, and I returned home in thankfulness of heart to the Lord, unto whom is due the praise of all his works. I lodged with my former schoolmistress, Rachel Traf­ford, who now rejoiced in receiving me as a minister of Christ.

Thus far have I wrote as things have been revived in my remembrance, having made lit­tle or no minutes, whilst on my journies, of my labours and exercises; but in my next journey which was into Scotland, my mind seemed directed to make some remarks as I went along; which, as they are expressive of the nature of my service, and the manner wherein divine Wisdom led me in the various changes of seasons, I insert almost entire.

CHAP. III. Some Minutes of my Journey into Scotland, in Company with Mary Abbot, of Northamp­tonshire.

ON the 3d of the Fourth month, 1752 (new stile), we went to Coalbrook Dale, and had a meeting there the same evening, in which we had good satisfaction: the testimony of truth flowed to the youth, some of whom were carried away with the vanities of this world, and the tender seed of life in them was oppressed.

The 4th, we went to Shrewsbury, and that evening, accompanied by some friends of the town, visited two friends who were imprisoned for tithes: in which visit we were favoured with the flowings of the refreshing streams of divine love, wherein the spirits of some of us were united and comforted.

The 5th, being the First of the week, we at­tended two meetings in that town. In the morn­ing, the testimony of truth was in a good degree set over the minds of the people of other socie­ties, as well as of our own; although there is in this place a dark spirit; but the Lord was graciously pleased to bear our spirits above it.

In the afternoon, a pretty many people of other societies came in; but it consisted with in­finite wisdom to disappoint their expectations; [Page 38] and as I abode in silence, I had peace. I thought the cause of this trial might be an example to one of that place, who was forward to mini­ster, but without divine authority.

In the evening, we again visited the prison­ers; and the 6th, went towards Warrington, where we came the 7th, and so proceeded the 8th and 9th to the quarterly meeting at Lan­caster; wherein I thought the expectation of the people was considerable towards me, who was a stranger in the country; under which I suffered, but patiently bore my testimony in silence; being deeply affected with a sense of the prevalency of that spirit which would ex­alt the creature. I was refreshed under the ministry of that deep and experienced servant of Jesus Christ, John Churchman of America, whom, with his companion John Pemberton, we met at this place.

The 11th, we went to Kendal, where the quar­terly meeting for Westmoreland was held; wherein John Churchman had good service, but I was still pretty much silent; in which dispensation I felt the refining power of the Almighty near, and was sensible of its service, in emptying my soul of old things, and preparing it for the fresh reception of the openings of truth.

The 13th, in company with John Church­man, and many other friends, we set forward for the yearly meeting for the four northern counties, which was held this year at Carlisle. In our way thither myself and companion staid a meeting at Penrith, which was previously ap­pointed [Page 39] by Kendal Friends, and was attended by many people of other societies; and I be­lieve would have been of good service, had it not been for some, with whom discerning Friends had not unity, intruding into the ser­vice of the ministry.

At Carlisle, my spirit was set at liberty, and I laboured weightily, and was much favoured in the enlargement of truth. There seemed a great struggle between the two powers of light and darkness, and what greatly added to the exercise of sensible Friends was, that the pow­er of darkness discovered itself in the appear­ance of ministry, through some deluded spi­rits; but, through divine favour, truth had the escendency.

We staid at Carlisle over the next First-day, in which time we visited several families of Friends to satisfaction: the meetings on the First-day were attended by many of the town's people, and we were favoured with an evi­dence of being in our proper place and ser­vice, which was renewed cause of thankfulness.

From the 20th to the 23d, we visited seve­ral meetings in Cumberland, wherein the ex­pectation of the people was great; but my satisfaction and rejoicing stood in abiding with the seed of God, which being oppressed in the souls of some professors of truth, the testimony of it did not rise in such authority, as at some other times.

The 24th, we went a long day's journey to Kelso in Scotland, at which place my spi­rit [Page 40] was sorely distressed on account of truth's being almost forsaken by its professors, who were but few in that town. We got some comfort in visiting a sick friend, whose son and husband we thought in a hopeful way.

The 27th, we went to Ormston, and in the way thither, my mind was drawn to the east­ward; but when we came to our quarters, I could see but little likelihood of getting any assistance in visiting the people that way.

The 28th, we had a meeting at Ormston, which was exceedingly crowded, but satisfac­tory. Being still thoughtful about the peo­ple to the eastward, John Christy (at whose house we lodged) told me that if I would stay till the 30th, he would accompany me to any one place I should choose; which I was free to do, and we went to North Ber­wick, where I knew not that any meeting of Friends had been held before. We had a dark spirit in some to encounter, before we could get a place to meet in, but at last we got a large granary. My spirit was inexpres­sibly loaded before meeting, but in patience bent towards the centre of its strength, in which state I went to the meeting. There came ma­ny people, and I admired at the solidity of their behaviour. The Lord was with us, and ex­alted the testimony of his truth, and we left the town in great satisfaction, and I hope true thankfulness.

We returned that night to Ormston, and the next day, the 1st of the Fifth month, went [Page 41] to Edinburgh, where we lodged at William Miller's. We attended the meetings in that city on the next First-day. That in the morn­ing was pretty large, although there are very few who profess with us in that city, and al­though cloudy in the beginning, yet the Al­mighty was pleased to favour in the conclusion, in exalting the testimony of his truth. In the afternoon the house was exceedingly crowded, and the people very unsettled; but after a long time of exercise, life rose measurably, wherein the spring of gospel ministry was opened.

The 5th, we went to Linlithgow, where was no meeting of Friends. We got a small meet­ing in an inn with the town's people, which was low, though not quite dead; and return­ed at night to Edinburgh, having travelled about twenty-eight Scotch miles that day. In the morning before I set out, I found myself very poorly, and in the journey I got worse, and the next day still worse; yet I attended a meeting which was appointed for the professors of truth only, whose states were mostly dis­tressing, a libertine spirit having carried away the youth, and an easy indifferent one prevail­ing amongst those farther advanced in years; both which were spoken to.

My illness still increased, and, proving a fe­ver, reduced me to a state of great weakness, and I experienced much poverty of spirit; but my frequent petition to the Almighty was for pa­tience, and he was pleased to favour me with quietness and resignation.

[Page 42]The 25th, we went from Edinburgh towards the north. I was still very weak, but gradu­ally gathered strength, and was encouraged to press forward; which I did as far as there were any meetings of Friends, and returned to Eng­land by way of Perth and Glasgow. The number of Friends in Scotland is small, and the life of truth low in some of them; but among the few, there are some who stand as monuments of the divine power, in this bar­ren and almost desolate land; wherein however there is an open door in many places, to preach the gospel to those not professing with us.

From Glasgow we went to Carlisle without holding any meetings. The first night we lodged at Stirling, where my spirit was exer­cised respecting the holding of a meeting; but having only one young man with us, not the most steady as a Friend, and it appearing to be a high professing place, I suffered cowardice to prevail, which occasioned future distress: there was time enough for an evening meeting after we came to our inn; and I think the landlord would have granted us his large dining­room. In the morning we proceeded forward, a long day's journey, and dangerous roads; lodged at a very poor lonely Scotch inn upon a chaff bed; our bed-room a ground floor, and no fastening to the door; and there being men in the house drinking, we were not quite easy with our situation, but through divine favour, we went to sleep, and were preserved from harm. We rode through much heavy [Page 43] rain from Glasgow to this place, which had swelled the river Ersk so much, that it was not thought safe to attempt to pass it the night we came there; but next morning we crossed it in two branches: it had a dreadful appearance, the water looked very muddy, the stream wide, deep, and rapid; but we had careful guides, and through favour of Providence got safe over the 17th of the Sixth month, and came to Carlisle the same day. And here I may note to the honour of Scotland, that in all the time I was in it, I do not recollect hearing an oath or a curse uttered, except the word faith might be accounted an oath, which was spoken by a soldier. Alas, for England! the streets of whose towns echo with most profane lan­guage, to the shame and condemnation of its magistrates, as well as its wicked inhabitants. At Carlisle I parted from my companion, who was concerned to visit some of the northern counties, and I, to attend the quarterly meet­ing at York; where I came the 22d, taking meetings in my way, at Penrith, Raby, and Haby. The last, being a monthly meeting, was pretty large, and I believe many souls were refreshed therein: the testimony of truth rose in considerable strength and clearness; and the meeting concluded in a sense of hea­venly sweetness, which was again renewed in the women's meeting. My spirit was humbly bowed in thankfulness, that my lot was cast there that day.

[Page 44]At York I met with my dear friend Ann Fothergill from London, and many other friends whom I dearly loved, who were glad to see me returned to my native land, the more so from a report having prevailed in England, that I was dead. ^* Here my mind was turned to consider the wonderful loving-kindness of Providence manifested in this jour­ney; and, considering my weak state of health through a great part of it, I thought it mira­culous that I should so soon accomplish it; such a fatigue seeming no way proportioned to my strength. But with God all things are possible; therefore have his servants cause to trust in his holy arm of power.

The quarterly meeting at York was merci­fully attended with the presence of the Master of our solemn assemblies; the testimony of truth was exalted, and the spirits of his peo­ple united in gospel fellowship.

The 25th, I went to Malton, accompanied by my dear friend Sarah Taylor of Manchester. We had a meeting there that evening, and the 26th went to Scarborough, and that even­ing visited a young man, who I thought was near his end; but we had little to say to him, [Page 45] his condition being lamentably stupid. I thought intemperance was the cause of his in­disposition, and found afterwards I was not mistaken. O! the deplorable effects of this degrading vice on the body, soul, and tem­poral substance, of numbers who unhappily indulge in it; whose faculties are debased be­low those of the brute animals; and so stupi­fied as not to be roused to the most important work of their soul's salvation. It lays men open to every temptation, and reduces many from opulent circumstances to extreme pover­ty. It is destructive of every delicate social enjoyment; it often emaciates the body, de­prives the soul of its highest good, the divine Presence, whilst in time; and if continued to the end of it, finally excludes it from Christ's pure kingdom of everlasting bliss. Alas! that men should indulge in it to their shame. So­lomon saith truly, ^* ‘Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging, and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise;’ again, ‘ ^† Who hath wo? who hath sorrow? who hath conten­tions? who hath babbling? who hath wounds without cause? who hath redness of eyes? They that tarry long at the wine, that go to seek mixt wine. Look not thou upon the wine when it is red, when it giveth his colour in the cup, when it moveth itself aright. At the last it biteth like a serpent, and stingeth like an adder.’

[Page 46]The 27th, being First-day, we attended the meetings. In the morning, we were much fa­voured with the evidence of truth in our ser­vice: several were there not of our Society who behaved well, and I believe went away satisfied. My concern was to shew them the difference betwixt true and false saith, and the tendency of each; with some other truths, which immediately opened in my understand­ing. In the afternoon, the meeting was large, but the Lord saw meet to disappoint the ex­pectations of the people, and manifest both to them and us, that without him we can do nothing in his service; for neither of us had a word to say to them; but I was concerned in supplication, and was abundantly rewarded, in submitting quietly to this dispensation of di­vine wisdom. In the evening, we visited two friends who could not attend meetings, by reason of age or indisposition; and next morn­ing, another friend in a very low estate of mind, with whom we had a good opportunity, and left him better than we found him; and I afterwards heard that from that time, he was restored. That afternoon we de­parted in peace from Scarborough, and re­turned to Malton, so to York, Leeds, Rawden, Bradford, and Halifax; in all which places I met with a share of exercises, and, I thought, was mostly very low in the ministry; but had the consolation to believe that what I stammered out was suited to the states of the people; which is a proof of true ministry.

[Page 47]The 7th of the Seventh month, we came to Manchester, where I left Sarah Taylor; the 10th, I went to Warrington, and had a meeting there that evening, wherein I was silent as to testimony.

The 11th, I went to Liverpool, in my way stopped to take some refreshment at Prescot, and found my mind exercised for the people of that town, wherein there was no meeting of Friends; but went on for Liverpool, and next day was at two meetings there, and visited a friend in distress, in all which I had good sa­tisfaction. In the evening, finding a concern for Prescot still to remain, I proposed to Friends, the having of a meeting there the next morn­ing, in my way to Warrington; which, though some difficulty was started, was accomplished, and a blessed opportunity it was; the Lord's power being largely revealed, and the people behaving solidly, although I suppose, a meet­ing of Friends had not been held in the town for very many years.

In the evening, I had a meeting in Warring­ton. The 14th, I went to Morley, my dear friend Samuel Fothergill, and several other friends accompanying me, and divers others meeting us from Manchester: and the Lord, in his wonderful mercy, was pleased to open the fresh spring of his love, and favour us with a sweet opportunity together therein: in a thankful sense whereof we parted from each other; and I came by way of Stafford and Atherston, home the 20th, where I was glad­ly [Page 48] received by my dear and worthy mother, &c. After some little time of settlement, my mind was directed to take a view of my late journey, in the course whereof I discovered the wonderful loving-kindness of God largly manifested; but was for a time much distressed on account of not having had a meeting at Stirling, as before hinted: under which dis­tress my soul ardently desired that for the fu­ture I might be careful to discharge my duty; for I found it a heavy burden not to be clear from the blood of the people.

In a few weeks after my return from this journey I went to our quarterly meeting at Shipston; which was eminently favoured with the presence of the Most High.

In the fall of the year I was obliged to ac­company my sister to Bath, for the benefit of her health; in which city I was the most affectingly dipped into a state of poverty, that ever I had known myself to be, which, being joined by great weakness of body, was hard to bear, yet I believe not without its peculiar service.

I visited Bristol meeting twice in this jour­ney, where I was made to taste of the pover­ty and weakness, which appears in many there, through unfaithfulness. It was indeed a time of mourning to the servants of the Lord, while those who were the cause of it required of them a song; but they were constrained for the most part to bear their burdens in solemn silence.

[Page 49]At Bath I suffered much under a libertine spirit, which was very apparent both amongst those who professed truth, and others in that place. I had several testimonies of close re­proof to bear to friends, and some pretty open service with strangers in town, and upon the whole had cause of thankfulness administered; the Lord rewarding my faithfulness and suffer­ings with peace in the end; and I returned home in a much better state of health than I left it; the use of the waters having been of ser­vice to me, though of little to my sister. But now another trial of faith came upon me, which was the near approach of a visit to Friends in America, which had appeared in prospect for about a year; with an apprehension that I must go with my dear friend Mary Peisley, who I believed was preparing for that service: yet I never gave her any hint of accompanying her, being desirous that if it must be my lot, it might be evidently pointed by the finger of Providence.

On my return home I received a letter from her, wherein she desired to be informed, whe­ther I knew of any woman friend going to America from England, and hinted her con­cern for that quarter of the world. This stuck close to my mind, yet I kept it to myself for several weeks, and then communicated it to my dear mother, who heard it with a becom­ing resignation, telling me it was not entirely unexpected to her.

[Page 50]And although it was exceeding hard, to the natural part in her, thus to part with me in her declining years; especially as she so ten­derly loved me as a child, as well as in the truth; she freely gave me up to the divine re­quiring, earnestly desiring that the Lord might be my director and preserver.

Upon this, I wrote to my dear friend Mary Peisley. Some extracts of my letter to her, with her answer, follow.

After the receipt of this letter I continued to make preparation for the journey, my way being open both in the minds of my relations and friends; though it was a trial to both to part with me.

CHAP. IV. Some Minutes of Travels, Labours, and Suffer­ings in America, &c.

ON the 4th of the Sixth month, 1753, I took an affecting and affectionate fare­wel of my dear mother and relations, leaving her and them to the protection of Providence; and went, accompanied with my sister Ann, to Worcester. I was at a monthly meeting there the next day, which was laborious and exercising, some Friends being sunk into a state of indolence, and, though sometimes fa­voured with a feeling sense of divine good, not quickened thereby to action in the affairs of the church: and so the visitation of heaven is rendered fruitless, while the things of this world are pursued with industry and ardency. Against this spirit, I, with some others, had to testify, in close doctrine and advice; and, although the meeting was dull and painful in the beginning, it ended in a sweet living stream of supplication and praise: in which the living present, committed each other into the hands of the Almighty for preservation.

[Page 59]In the women's meeting, I endeavoured for a regulation, that our Christian discipline might be revived, for which a concern had rested upon my mind for some years: and some wo­men Friends of this city being under a like exercise, it afforded a comfortable hope, that the Lord would qualify instruments for this service. In the evening, the visitation of in­finite goodness was renewed to us, and to a few friends who came to visit us at my dear friend Ashby's, in the sense of which we part­ed. The 6th we went to Evesham, where we were met by my brother James, and several friends from Ireland, who were going to the yearly meeting at London. We staid over the monthly meeting there the next day, and so proceeding on our journey (Ann Ashby go­ing forward with us), reached London the 9th; where I met with my dear friend and compani­on, Mary Peisley.

The yearly meeting was large, and attend­ed by many weighty Friends; who were di­vinely assisted to labour for the promotion of Truth, and the ordering of the affairs of the church.

My brother and sister left me in London; and, my companion Mary Peisley having a con­cern to attend the meetings at Colchester, Woodbridge, and Norwich, I spent a little time at Chelmsford, at the house of John Grif­fith (the state of my health and spirits being such as seemed to call for rest and quiet), and returned to London in about two weeks; but [Page 60] being still poorly in health, I went to the coun­try-house of my worthy friend John Hayward, accompanied by Ann Fothergill; where I was indisposed, and confined to my bed and the house, for about a week. Recovering a little strength, I returned to London; where the disorder returned, and continued for nine or ten days; and being succeeded by the jaun­dice, it brought me very low; but through the kindness of Providence, I was preserved patient and resigned under this dispensation. In this time my companion returned to London, but did not find her way open to leave Eng­land; so that my trials were increased with the prospect of being longer detained, and at a distance from my dear relations. But infinite Wisdom knows best how to plan out the way for his people, the secret workings of whose Providence I thought I clearly discovered, in this succession of probations being permitted to attend me where they did. Had it been at home it would have been much more afflict­ing both to my relations and myself; as it would have rendered their parting with me in such a weak state of health the more painful, and my leaving home the more difficult: nay, I have questioned, if I had not left it as I did, whether, considering the discouragement, I should have gone the journey. Nor was my indisposition without a singular service: for my health had languished under the oppression of the remains of the fever which I had at Edin­burgh; which by this disorder were, in a good [Page 61] measure, carried off, and my body the better prepared to sustain the fatigues and trials of the ensuing journey, arising from the difference of climate, &c. So that in this painful allotment, I had renewed cause to bless and praise the name of my God, and to acknowledge, that whatever he does is best.

Almost as soon as I recovered strength to get abroad, the cloud dispersed; and we found our spirits at liberty to take our passage on board the Alexander, Captain Curling, bound from London to Charleston, in South Caro­lina; which sailed in about a week after we a­greed to go in her. The last First-day we were in London, we were favoured to take a comfortable farewel of many of our friends, in the feeling sense of divine goodness; where­in also, we were enabled to resign and commit each other into the hands of the Almighty for preservation.

We left London the 21st of the Eighth month, 1753; and, as our vessel was to stop at Portsmouth to take in some of her passen­gers, our friends thought it best for us to go thither by land: which we did, and several of them freely accompanied us.

We came to Portsmouth the 24th, and went on board our vessel the 25th, where we took leave of our friends with affection.

Being settled in our vessel, a sweet compo­sure came over my spirit; which strengthened my faith that I was moving by divine direction.

[Page 62]The next day the wind turned against us, and we came to an anchor in Yarmouth Road, Isle of Wight. Being First-day, we were a little thoughtful about having a meeting with the passengers; but one of our company be­ing a clergyman, and the ship's crew busy in settling the vessel, we concluded it would not be very easily obtained, and were content in sitting together in our own apartment; dur­ing which time the parson got some of our people together in the great cabin, and read prayers to them.

I had purposely left our room door open, in order that, if any duty presented, I might have an opportunity of performing it; and af­ter they had done, I found a concern to call upon the Lord in humble supplication, to which I gave up; but a part of the company went on deck, being I supposed exampled by their teacher; however I was favoured with a pretty satisfactory opportunity, and the strengthening evidence of peace in the conclu­sion.

The 27th, we set sail, and passed the Need­les the 28th. The 29th, the wind came against us, and blowing hard we anchored in the even­ing in Portland Bay, where we lay till the 3d of the ninth month; when we set sail, and got clear of the land the 5th; from which time we were mostly favoured with gentle favourable winds, till we came near the coast of South Carolina.

[Page 63]The 18th of the Tenth month, we got in­to soundings; but the wind blowing very hard, and the sea running high, our captain durst not attempt to go over Charleston bar, so stood off, in hopes the wind might fall; but instead of that it turned against us, and continued to blow very hard till the 22d: all which time we lay with our helm lashed, driving with the wind. The 22d, the sea and wind fell very much, the weather (which in this time had been very foul) cleared up, and the wind became favourable, and we got within sight of land; but it being to the south­ward of our designed port, the captain tacked about to the northward, hoping thereby to gain so much in the night as to be able to run in with the tide in the morning; but we were again beat back to sea by a contrary stormy wind.

Thus were we tossed to and fro, almost within sight of our harbour; but through prevailing grace our minds were wonderfully preserved above either fear or complaint, en­joying a clam within, in the midst of a storm without; being happily resigned to suffer in this way, if it were the Lord's will so to ap­point: which blessed disposition, attended us through the voyage, helped to alleviate our bodily hardships, which would otherwise have appeared considerable.

We were sea-sick, though not so extremely as we expected; and we suffered much from the excessive heat of the weather, steering [Page 64] within one degree, as far south as the tropic of Cancer; in which latitude I believe we con­tinued near three weeks, being becalmed; and, neither I nor my companion being very strong, nature had a considerable struggle, to surmount the expense of spirits she sustain­ed.

But we had cause to be thankful that we es­caped a violent fever, which frequently seizes those who pass through this climate, and have been used to one much colder.

During the storm, the seams of our vessel, being opened on the side where we lay, let in the wet, and our apartment was in a manner flooded. My bed was so wet that I could not lie therein, so I threw myself down for several nights upon some blankets in a birth in the great cabin, and slept better than I could have expected; but the spray of the sea drove so upon it, even there, that my linen was so damp, that I esteemed it a singular mercy I was not exceeding ill.

Indeed we were both of us brought very low, but recruited again as the weather clear­ed up; which it did the 24th, and we set sail in the evening, and the 25th got our pilot on board, who intended that night to run as near the bar as prudent, and wait for another tide to carry us into port. But here we apprehend­ed ourselves to be in imminent danger; for, the man who sounded mistaking the length of the line which he let go, the vessel ran too far before they dropped anchor; so that we lay [Page 65] all night in very shallow water, so near, if not upon the breakers, that had the wind sprung up fresh, it seemed questionable our having room to turn the vessel from them, when the anchors were weighed: but the Lord preserv­ed us, and we landed at Charleston the 26th in the morning, under a grateful sense of his merciful Providence having attended us through the voyage. We were upwards of nine weeks on ship-board.

We had several meetings while on ship­board with the sailors and passengers, who were of different countries. There was a South Carolina woman and her negro maid, a man and his wife, the one a German and the other a Swiss; a Scotch schoolmaster, our cap­tain and his brother of French extraction, if not born in France.

Our first meeting was with the sailors and steerage passengers, on the afternoon of the First-day, wherein we lay at anchor in Portland Bay. The priest in the morning, read pray­ers to the cabin passengers, but took no care for the others on board. The captain offered us the cabin to meet in, but we rather chose to go to them in the steerage; from which the priest would have dissuaded us, by telling us, they would be likely to insult us; but, on our sending a message to the sailors that we intend­ed them a visit, they returned for answer, that though they had not had college education, they should be glad to hear the word of God, and would readily admit us. The meeting [Page 66] was attended with a good degree of solemnity, and afforded satisfaction to ourselves. My companion was favoured in testimony suited to the states of the people, and I was graciously admitted to supplicate the Lord for them.

Our other meetings were held in the cabin, which we had the use of for that purpose on the afternoons of the First-days, as the parson had, in the mornings. They were generally attended by most of the passengers and some of the sailors; but there being but little en­trance for the word, made it hard labouring among them. We were, however, favoured with peace, in endeavouring to promote their good; and blessed with the incomes of divine life in our own souls, not only on those occasi­ons, but at many other times: so that it was a season to be had in lasting remembrance, with thanksgiving to the Lord, whose good presence accompanied us when on the mighty ocean, and rendered our separation from our dear re­lations and friends easy.

The parson, observing that in our ministry, we spoke extempore, told me that he could preach extempore, and we should hear him if we pleased the next Sunday. Accordingly when the day came, we were all seated in the great cabin, and he preached without notes. His subject was the transfiguration of Christ, which he found a wonder,—expatiated upon it as a wonder,—and left it a wonder; with­out entering into the spirituality of the text: indeed I doubt he did not understand it.

[Page 67]From this time he read prayers and preach­ed on the First-day mornings, when the wea­ther permitted, and sometimes we sat in the cabin with them; and although the inconsist­ency of their prayers and professions with their own states, as well as of the manner of their offering them with the nature of the solemn duty of calling upon the Lord, joined to the priest's laboured, dry discourses, could not but painfully affect us; yet in the time of their worship, the Almighty by his power broke in upon our spirits, and bowed them in contri­tion before himself: so that, in the enjoyment of his goodness, we had a silent testimony to bear to that living worship which he inspires, and accepts.

And although both by word and conduct we differed from the priest, we heard that when he came on shore he spoke well of us, acknowledging that we had been instruments of good to him; and particularly that my companion had convinced him of the evil of gaming; which he appeared to like whilst on the voyage, but which we also heard he af­terwards preached zealously against, as well as other vanities. Indeed he became much changed, and whilst in Carolina appeared con­scientiously concerned for the people's wel­fare. Some time after we left America he returned to England, and I think I heard that the people did not like his close doc­trine.

[Page 68]We lodged in Charleston at John Sin­clair's, who was educated amongst Friends, but had married one not of our Society. Both he and his wife received us kindly, and treated us while with them with great hospi­tality and generosity.

The meeting of Friends here was very small; and most of those who attended it were rather stumbling-blocks, than way-marks, to other professors of religion; yet we found a few to whom we were measurably united, and who I believe were thankful for our visit. During our stay in this place, we were treat­ed with great civility and kindness, by the inhabitants thereof who did not profess with us; but we saw it necessary to be strictly guarded in our conversation with them; lest their very respectful behaviour should betray us into a familiarity injurious to ourselves. Many of them are ready to hear the testimony of Truth, but there is a certain lightness of disposition which greatly obstructs its progress amongst them; and if not carefully watched against, will infect the minds of persons who converse with them.

Many of them attended our meetings, and mostly behaved soberly in them; but what with ignorance of the spirituality of religion, a high professing spirit in some, and libertin­ism both in principle and practice in others, it was very hard to labour amongst them: however, the Almighty was pleased so to fa­vour us, that we were not without hope, [Page 69] that the testimony given us to bear affected some minds, and, in the general, commanded their assent.

We had two select meetings for Friends, and paid a religious visit to most of their fami­lies; in which service we were owned by the power of Truth, though in some places we were very closely exercised; insomuch, that one man absented himself from meeting, not liking any longer to sit under our doctrine; but we found we had rather cause to rejoice than to be uneasy, in being instrumental of se­parating him from the Society (if so it should prove), his conduct being a scandal to his pro­fession, though he pretended to join it by con­vincement.

We took a little turn to the south of Charles­ton, and had meetings at James's Island, John's Island, and Stones. The first was the most satisfactory.

At Stones, we had a close exercising time in the family of a young man, whose father had formerly made profession of Truth; but he was quite gone from Friends, and I fear was tinctured with libertine principles; but he entertained us freely, and did not seem to take offence at what we had to deliver. I heard he died soon after. We had also a sa­tisfactory opportunity with a family not profes­sing with us, in Charleston, but whose ances­tors by the father's side were Friends.

It seemed as though the Almighty had sent us peculiarly to seek the lost sheep of the house [Page 70] of Israel: that his merciful visitation may be accepted by them, is the sincere desire of my soul.

I was engaged to return to James's Island, but, my companion having no concern to ac­company me, I went alone, and had a much larger meeting than when there before: and I hope it was well that I went back, as, through Divine favour, many gospel truths were opened to the people, in a degree of life and authority.

My friend John Witter, of the Island, sent with me over the Sound a negro man, who was to attend me to my lodgings. He was well-dressed, and looked well-fed. I entered a little into conversation with him respecting his situation as a slave. He appeared easy in it, and said that he had a good master, but that many negroes were treated no better than dogs. Indeed we could not but lament over those poor people, as we passed through the colonies. Divers of our friends were then in possession of some negroes, either by inherit­ance or purchase; and the negroes who had them for masters rejoiced in their lot. But a­bout this time concern arose amongst Friends, to abolish slave-keeping in our Society; which concern has since prevailed in the American Colonies; and many friends have given up large possessions in negroes, but employed many of them as hired servants after they had given them their liberty.

[Page 71]We left Charleston the 26th of the Ele­venth month, accompanied by James Verree, a young man, a friend, residing there; and went towards a small settelement of Friends of the Wateree River, which is on the north side of the Province. They were lately come over from Ireland.

In our way we had meetings in the families of Isaac Perinoes, and John Lloyd where we lodged, who were neither of them of our Socie­ty, but they readily gave us an opportunity with them, and Truth favoured us.

Several difficulties attended us in this jour­ney. We had appointed a friend to meet us with horses, about a hundred and twenty miles from Charleston; and being set to a time, we durst not stay to discharge our minds of that duty of love, which seemed to point to­wards the people, as we went along. Second­ly, we had poor accommodation, especially as to lodging; some of the houses being so open to the air, that I could attribute our preserva­tion from great indisposition, to nothing short of the mediate interposition of Providence; but as the people behaved very civilly toward us, and we enjoyed some liberty of spirit among them, it was rendered the more easy. When we came to the place where we had appointed to be met, we found neither the friend nor the horses; and those which we brought from Charleston, being borrowed, and the friend who came with us being earnest to return, we discharged him from any further care of us, [Page 72] sent the horses back with him, and concluded to stay at the house of the before-mentioned John Lloyd; who was a substantial planter, and very freely gave us an invitation thereto, till our friends from the Wateree, could meet us with horses; unto whom we had an op­portunity of sending an account of the strait we were in, by a neighbour of theirs, whom we met at the house of this planter, and who was then going home.

However, kind Providence soon opened a way for our release. A poor friend who lived be­tween this place and the Wateree, and was go­ing to Charleston with goods for the market, stopped at John Lloyd's; and, seeing the cir­cumstances we were in, left his load in John Lloyd's warehouse, and returned back with us to his own house; where we got a very poor lodging, but received it thankfully, as the best he could provide us with; and the next day he accompanied us to the Wateree, through a wilderness country, wherein it was dangerous for women to travel, by reason of the swamps and deep creeks, which are difficult and very frightful to pass: but we were mer­cifully preserved from hurt.

We crossed one creek upon the trunk of a tree laid from bank to bank, and the water was so deep, that if the trunk had broken, we had probably been drowned. When we got on the other side we saw it was decayed; and when our friends came over with our saddles upon their backs, we observed it bend with [Page 73] their weight. Our horses were driven through a part of the creek where the water was shal­lower, yet perhaps there it was out of their depths. Providentially, before we crossed this creek, we were met by our friend Robert Millhouse: had it not been so, I know not how the poor friend would have got us over.

Robert Millhouse had brought horses for us, and gladly took us to his house with him. My companion's former acquaintance with him in Ireland, rendered their meeting very agree­able. We found his not meeting us accord­ing to appointment, was occasioned by our let­ters not reaching him timely; which had we known, our spirits might have been more at liberty to have attended the before mentioned pointings of love towards the people; but in­asmuch as we had not wilfully omitted our du­ty, Divine mercy was extended, and our minds soon became easy on that account.

We came to the Wateree River the 1st of the Twelfth month, and staid there till the 12th; in which time we attended Friends' meetings as they came in course, both on the First, and other days of the week, and paid a religious visit to every family of Friends in the settle­ment; in which service we were evidently owned by our Master; or at least my compani­on was so, who had most of the service in this place. The state of the friends settled here was mostly low, as to religious experience; but some of the youth were under a divine visitation, which afforded us some comfort. [Page 74] Some people not professing with us attended our meetings, and behaved soberly; but in general, the people in this part of the country were lamentably ignorant and wicked: indeed, they had very few opportunities of religious in­struction, no place of worship being near; perhaps not nearer than twenty miles. Seldom, if ever, any clergyman came amongst them oftener than once a year, to sprinkle their children. Alas! what will these pretended and hireling shep­herds have to answer for? of whom it may well be said, ‘they feed themselves but not the flock.’

Indeed, none can feed the flock, who have not themselves been fed by the heavenly Shepherd.

Part of the time we spent here, was to me a season of deep inward trials; the enemy being suffered so to beset me, that my soul was distressed both night and day; and though sometimes a ray of hope of deliverance and preservation would break in upon it, and I was favoured with a taste of divine love; yet when that was withdrawn, I was left as weak and unable to resist him as before; so that my spirit was in inexpressible bitterness.

I had very little share in the ministerial ser­vice; sometimes perhaps a few simple expressi­ons. But before we left the Wateree, the load was in part removed, and my spirit brought into a greater calm, in which I de­sired to wait the Lord's time, to be put forth to service. He had clothed me, and he had a [Page 75] right to strip me at his pleasure; and I could say with Job, ‘The Lord gave, and taketh away, blessed be his name.’ The incomes of his love and peace in my heart, were more to me than to be honoured before the people. And here I cannot but again observe the vari­ous baptisms which the ministers of Christ have to pass through, in order to their being renewedly fitted to minister to the different states of the people. What deep poverty and distress, doubts, fears, and temptations! I was sometimes however in mercy admitted to taste of the cup of heavenly consolation. All is consistent with the wisdom of God, and tends to bend the mind more effectually to­wards Him, and to mortify the flesh with its corrupt affections: so that the spiritual life is often strengthened by these afflicting dis­pensations.

We bought horses at the Wateree, and, accom­panied by Robert Millhouse and Samuel Kelly, set forwards towards the River Peedee, where we had heard there was a settlement of Friends. We travelled through a wilderness country for several days, carrying provisions for ourselves and horses. In the day we took our repast in the woods, and at night got lodging at some planters'; who, though not of our So­ciety, readily gave us admittance into their houses, and freely entertained us according to their manner of living: and although it was very different from what we had been ac­customed to, and the lodging in some places [Page 76] very cold and poor; we were content, and thankful to the Almighty for it, as well as for his providential care, variously manifested in preserving us from the dangers which at­tended us, in passing swamps, deep creeks, &c. And although we lived low, our spirits were preserved pretty cheerful, and our health tolerable.

One particular instance of Divine protection, I think worthy of commemoration. The 14th in the evening we came to a swamp, which appeared very dangerous to cross; but a friendly man on the other side directed us where to turn our horses over, and came him­self and assisted us over some trees which lay across it. Having got over, we asked him how far it was to the place where we intend­ed to lodge, and whether the way was easy to find. He told us it was twelve miles, and that the latter part of the way was intricate; and, after walking by our side a little time, he offered to conduct us, which offer we readily accepted. If he had not accompanied us, I know not but that we must have been all night in the woods; for the way being so difficult to find, and night coming upon us, we should probably have missed it; and the weather being frosty, and we unprovided ei­ther with materials to strike fire, or blankets to cover us, we should have suffered much, if we had escaped with our lives.

Our kind guide brought us to the house of James Gillespy, upon Peedee River; who [Page 77] was a substantial planter, and a hospitable man, I think by profession a Presbyterian. His heart seemed opened towards us. Of him we inquired after the settlement of Friends which we had heard of, but could get no in­telligence of it; yet were our minds mercifully preserved pretty easy and quiet, although we knew not which way we should steer our course from this place, being all of us strangers in the country. In a short time, I found free­dom to propose to my companion, our hav­ing a meeting in the neighbourhood; with which she concurring, we asked our kind host, before we went to bed, whether he thought we might have a religious opportunity with some of his neighbours. He made but little reply then, but in the morning told Robert Millhouse, that if we would stay till First-day, we should be welcome both to what entertain­ment he could give us and our horses, and also to have a meeting in his house; and he would send his servant to acquaint his neigh­bours. To this we assented, and spent the next day peaceably there. On the First-day we had a meeting, which was not large, and, by reason of the ignorance of the people in divine truths, was exercising to our minds. A young man, who came from the settlement of Friends which we were in quest of, being in this neighbourhood on business, and hearing of the meeting, staid to attend it. After it was over, he informed Robert Millhouse, that several families of Friends were settled [Page 78] about twenty miles up the river, to whom he was going the next day, and should be glad of our company. To this we readily assented, and, being thus providentially instructed in our way, we next morning took leave of our kind friend James Gillespy, who had generously en­tertained us while at his house. We called at the house where we had appointed to meet our expected guide; but it being a very wet morn­ing, he concluded we should not move, and was gone; however, we had got such intelli­gence from him of the way, that, with a little more which we obtained as we went along, we found the friend's house to which we intended to go. He was a poor man lately convinced, but he gladly received us, and freely gave us such entertainment as his circumstances would afford; which though very mean, was made easy and pleasant to us, being sweetened by the gentle flowings of divine peace in our hearts.

We found here a few newly convinced friends, and some others under convincement; with whom we had two meetings to good sa­tisfaction, many things suitable to their states being opened both by way of doctrine and en­couragement; and we were glad that we were thus directed to find them in this desolate spot; which was very distant from any Friends; but they were under the Divine regard. They had not settled a meeting; but as our guides from the Wateree were returning home, they found them busy in building a meeting-house; [Page 79] and we afterwards heard that a meeting was settled amongst them.

The 20th, we left Peedee River, accom­panied by John and Charles Moreman, and the two friends who came with us from the Wateree, and set our faces towards a settle­ment of Friends on the Waters of Haw River. The morning was wet when we set out and I was very poorly; but in a little time the wea­ther cleared up, and I grew better. We rode that day about forty miles through the woods, without seeing any house; and at night took up our lodging in the woods, by the side of a branch or swamp, which afforded plenty of canes for our horses. Our friends made us a little shed of the branches of pine-trees, on a rising sandy ground, which abounded with lof­ty pines. We made a large fire, and it being a calm, fair, moon-light night, we spent it cheerfully, though we slept but little. Our saddles were our pillows; and we had in com­pany a man, who came from Peedee and was going a part of our next day's journey, whose wife had sent a blanket; which, with one our friends had brought, being thrown at our backs upon our shed sheltered us much; so that we still saw kind Providence cared for us. In the morning we pursued our journey, and went that day about forty-five miles; and at night took up our lodging again in the woods, but did not meet with so advantageous a spot as the night before, for the ground was wet, and the shelter bad, and poor wood for firing. [Page 80] The weather also being very cold, and my companion ill with a pain in her face, and my­self but poorly, we spent the night very un­comfortably as to the body, but through di­vine favour were preserved quiet, and resigned in spirit.

We set out next morning in hopes of reach­ing a settlement of Friends at new Garden that day; but the pain in my companion's face con­tinuing, we thought it best to stop at William Rinalds's at Polecat, who was under the pro­fession of Truth; and the next day, being the First of the week, we had a meeting there with a few friends, and some of the neigh­bours; which was exercising, yet ended in a sense of Divine sweetness.

The 24th, we went to New Garden, and staid amongst friends in that settlement till the 28th. This was a new settlement of Friends, and we were the first from Europe that had visited them, or travelled in these parts in the service of Truth.

We had pretty close service among them, and laboured for the establishment of a meeting for ministers and elders in their monthly meet­ings; which we found was much wanting: and we had reason to hope that the proposition would be adopted; divers Friends being con­vinced of its usefulness, and seemed glad that it became our concern to recommend it. We found a sincere-hearted remnant in this meet­ing, unto whom the Lord united us; but there was also a dead, formal, professing spirit, [Page 81] under which the living were sorely oppressed; as well as under a flashy wordy ministry.

The 29th, we got to Cane Creek, another new settlement of Friends; with whom we had a meeting the 30th, wherein we were rather low, yet favoured with peace in our spirits.

The 31st, we went about 30 miles to a very small meeting on the river Eno, which was very exercising; for through their number was small, their states were various, and some of them widely distant from that pure, humble, living, sensible disposition which Truth produces. And as it was the will of the Almighty, measura­bly to baptise us into the states of the people, we could not but suffer in spirit with his pure seed; and it seemed as though a drawn sword was delivered to us in this the begining of our jour­ney, which we were to use against spiritual wickedness; and not to spare, though it were exalted in high places. Here we laboured for the establishment of a Week-day meeting.

The 2d of the First month, 1754, my com­panion returned to Cane Creek, in order to be at their Week-day meeting; and I went about six miles up the River, being engaged to have a meeting amongst a people not pro­fessing with us. Many came to it, and be­haved soberly, but most of them seemed very ignorant of spiritual things; and some were heavy laden with divers sins; but kind Provi­dence so favoured me, that I left them pretty easy, and returned to my companion at Cane Creek, the 4th. The same day we had a [Page 82] meeting at Rocky River, which was satisfac­tory, and we returned to Cane Creek, and were at the First-day meeting there.

The 7th, we set out for Carver's Creek, a journey of about 160 miles, through an almost uninhabited country. We were accompanied by John Wright and J. Pigot, friends. The accommodation we met with was very mean, but rendered easy, under a sense of our being in the way of our duty. At one place where we lodged, the room wherein we lay was ex­posed to the weather on almost every side, and it being a wet night, the rain beat in up­on us in bed; but my mind was preserved in sweet peace, and under some degree of a sense of Divine favour. The woman of the house was of a tender spirit, and appeared to be seeking after substantial good. I had con­siderable freedom to speak to her on religious subjects; which she took well, and I was thankful that our lots were cast under that roof.

Another night, we lay in the woods, with tolerable comfort, though the weather was cold, and the ground damp. About two hours before we stopped, as I was attempting to cross a swamp on some loose pieces of wood, one of them rolled, and threw me backward into it. One of our friends was leading me, and the other, seeing me in danger of falling, stepped behind me into the swamp, and caught me, so that I was wet but on one side, except my feet: and, [Page 83] although I mounted my horse immediately af­ter putting on a dry pair of stockings, rode in my wet clothes, and lay down in them, I was preserved from taking cold. In the night two of our horses ^* strayed away from us, and our guides were obliged to leave us and go in quest of them; so that we were several hours ourselves in this wilderness, sur­rounded, for aught we knew, by bears, wolves, and panthers. Before we pitched our tent, I had been intimidated by an account which had been given me respecting the pan­thers infesting that quarter; one of which it was said had killed a person not very far distant from this spot; but when we were thus left, all fear was removed, and we spent the time of our friend's absence cheerfully. I went without the shelter of our shed, and renewed our fire with some wood our friends had gathered. The fire under Providence, was probably our preservation from those fe­rocious animals.

It was a fine moon-light night, our friends tracked our horses' footsteps in the sand for about three miles in the way we had come, and found them feeding on some luxuriant [Page 84] canes. The sagacious animals probably ob­served them as they came to the spot where we pitched our tent, and having but poor feeding there, went back to fill their bellies. As we proceeded on our journey, some of our company discovered the track of a wild beast in the sand, which gave room to suspect that they had been near our tents in the night; but we were preserved both from their fury, and from being affrighted by their hideous howl. However, as we rode through the woods in the morning, we heard the barking of wolves at a small distance from us, but a rising ground prevented us from seeing them.

We breakfasted at a miserable inn, about eight or ten miles on our way; where we met such a wicked set of company, who had spent the night there, that we concluded it providential that we did not press forward to lodge there; respecting which we were considering before we pitched our tent. It appeared much more comfortable to be under the open canopy of heaven, and the protec­tion of Providence, though among the wild beasts, than among those of the human race, whose natures were so depraved as to render them more terrible and dangerous: the first only (or at least generally), assaulting man­kind of necessity, or by provocation; but the last from the incitements of their depraved passions.

[Page 85]We went forward to Dunn's Creek, and had a small meeting, with a few under the profession of Truth; and from thence to Car­ver's Creek the same night, being the 12th. The 13th, we had a meeting there, and the 14th, went to Wilmington, on Cape Fear River, where we had two meetings the 15th. There are none in this place who can properly be called members of our society, but many people came to the meetings, and behaved civilly; and the testimony of Truth ran pretty freely towards them in doctrine, reproof, and counsel; though I believe many of them were of very loose conversation. The 16th, we returned to Carver's Creek, so to Brompton, Dunn's Creek, and Cape Fear.

The 20th, we proceeded towards Perqui­mons River, being accompanied by our friends William Hall and B. Cooper. We calculated our journey to Perquimons at 273 miles; go­ing across the country to visit several small meetings of Friends; amongst whom, and the people of other societies, we had some satis­factory service. No women-ministers had visit­ed part of this country before us, so that the people were probably excited by curiosity to attend some of the meetings we appointed. We found a few seeking people in these back settlements, who had very little, even of what they esteem, instrumental help, in this wilder­ness country; which appears too poor for priestcraft to thrive in; but I hoped the Lord would gather some of them to faith in his [Page 86] own immediate instruction. In this journey we met with considerable hardships, the peo­ple amongst whom we were being very poor, their houses cold, and provisions mean. One night we lodged in a void house on the River Neice. A man who kept a store on the other side of the river, gave us the liberty of it, sent his negroes to make us a fire, and lent us a bed and coverings for it. We were content, although our provisions were so near spent that we had very little to refresh ourselves with, after a hard day's journey; and we could get neither bread for ourselves, nor corn for our horses, for our money; as the man who lent us the house and bed, would let us have none, though we sent to request it. Our friends William Hall and B. Cooper ac­companied us more than 100 miles in this journey.

On the 6th of the Second month, we reached Perquimons River, on which, and the River Pasquatank, the main body of Friends in the province of North Carolina was settled.

Our first meeting among them was at the Piney Woods meeting-house, which was pret­ty large considering the shortness of the time allowed to give notice of it; and the Lord was pleased to favour us with a good opportu­nity: the spirits of sensible friends present were in a good degree settled, and I hope refreshed. We visited two other meetings in this quarter, in one of which neither of us had [Page 87] much publick service. There is a number of valuable friends in this country, who were under suffering from the prevalence of a spirit of carnal ease, and also from the ministry of some who will not be restrained by wholesome counsel: wherewith a number are amused ra­ther than profitably fed; and instead of being solidly settled in a silent exercise of spirit, they are in continual expectation of words, and remain in sorrowful ignorance of the opera­tion of Truth in themselves.

Here it seems necessary to go back a little, and give some account of an exercise which attended my mind, when about Carver's Creek. It was to part from my companion, and go the lower way through Bath Town, to the county of Perquimons; but the dif­ficulty of getting guides suitable for us both, and an unwillingness to part from my compa­nion, considering the desolate journey she would have to go, and not being quite well in her health, determined me to accompany her; nevertheless, I stood open to be turned back when I had a suitable evidence of its be­ing required. Here, an exercise respecting those places being again revived, and being fearful of omitting my duty, I mentioned the going back to them to my companion, who, al­though she was not free to accompany me, was easy with my going, and rather disposed to en­courage me. Her health seemed to require a little rest, which she purposed to take at the house of our friend Thomas Nicholson of Little [Page 88] River, who had not long since paid a religious visit to Friends in England. I then proposed it to Friends to set forward the 11th, and if Providence permitted, to return to their quar­terly meeting in Pasquatank county; to which they only objected, that they feared the notice was so short, that they could not procure suitable companions for me. However, they resolved to mention it after the meeting on the 10th, and see if any friend would offer to go with me, to which I agreed; but told one of the most sensible amongst them, that if the way did not pretty readily open, I durst not push much for it; which, considering the event, I was glad I had said.

After meeting, I was informed that two young men, and Rebecca Tombs, a valuable friend, and an acceptable minister, were willing to accompany me. I did not find any objec­tion in my mind to accepting her company, though I had not requested it; but an uncom­mon sense of sorrow seized my spirits; though I did not see that I ought to omit the journey, nor yet comprehend the cause of the exercise. Next morning I took leave of my companion Mary Peisley, in pretty much the same state of mind; and, after crossing Perquimons River, we rode that day to Eden Town. On the road my mind became quiet, yet was low. The names of the young men who accompanied us were Nathaniel Newley and John White.

The 12th we had a meeting at Eden Town, which on account of the excessive coldness of [Page 89] the weather, was not large, and it was much disturbed by a wicked drunken man, while I was speaking; with whom, being a litigious lawyer, the town's people were afraid to med­dle, lest he should have an action against them: so I was obliged to bear it, and the meeting concluded with less solemnity than I could have wished. I observed a serious look­ing woman in the meeting, and thought if she asked me to her house I should go; which she did, and in the evening I went, accompa­nied by my companion. We found both her­self and her husband under a religious exer­cise; and several things were opened in me to speak to them, which were well received, and I left them in a good degree of peace; be­lieving that the seasoning virtue of Truth had been felt in our conversation. There was no meeting of Friends in this town, and we lodged at an inn.

The 13th, in the morning, we crossed a ferry, eight miles over. The weather was extreme­ly cold, which affected Rebecca Tombs much. The frost was so hard, that the water in the Sound we had crossed was frozen some distance from the shore on each side, but we got through it safe. We rode about twenty-five miles, lodged at a mean inn; and next morning early we set out for Bath Town. When we had rode about seven miles, I had a fall from my horse, occasioned by the horse's starting at a bird flying out of a tree. I fell over the saddle, on my right arm, and the ground being very [Page 90] hard from the frost, it was much hurt; but I esteemed it a great favour that the bone was not broken. When we came to the next inn, my companion procured some wormwood with vinegar, and bound it round my arm; and we proceeded to Bath Town, though my arm gave me much pain.

I had some thoughts of crossing the ferry here, which is four miles over, and so proceed­ing to Newbern; but having received this hurt, and the wind being contrary, I became inclined to have a meeting here the next day. Just as we alighted at the inn, a respectable looking man, who I afterwards found was an attorney, and lived about two miles out of town, came in; to whom I found freedom to impart our desire of having a meeting, and to consult him about a proper place to hold it in. He appeared well pleased with the proposition, and we concluded to hold it in the morning in the court-house, if the wea­ther were warm enough to admit of the peo­ple's sitting there; if not, our landlord gave us the liberty of a room in his house. I had much pain from my arm this afternoon; but somenting it as before, it became easier towards evening. Our meeting was attended next day by a pretty many people, most of whom behaved with sobriety; but the life of religion was scarcely so much as known by many of them; yet the Lord was pleased to open many gospel truths to them; which were delivered under a feeling sense of their low ignorant state, [Page 91] and I trust had their service. After this meet­ing, as I was returning to my inn, my mind seemed drawn to return back to my companion Mary Peisley; and when I came to the inn, I found Rebecca Tombs, who had got thither before me, seized with an ague; which brought a heavy weight of exercise upon my spirit, and I soon became apprehensive of her being removed by death. The same evening also one of the young men who came with us, was taken ill in the same way, and I was myself very poorly with a cold, which affected my head and throat. Next day Rebecca Tombs's indisposition increased, and I became very thoughtful whether I had best endeavour to remove her homewards, or continue her at Bath Town. There appeared to me danger of my incurring censure from her relations, in acting either way. I therefore concluded it best to refer it to Providence, and see what turn it would take in her own mind. In the afternoon she discovered a desire to be remov­ed, and I found most ease of mind in acting ac­cordingly.

I met in this town, to my surprise, with a young woman who was daughter to a princi­pal tradesman of the neighbourhood of Dudley. She had been my school-fellow. Her husband, whom she married in England, kept a store in this place. They seeing our afflicted situation, readily furnished us with a chaise for our re­turn; so we prepared for going, and the at­torney before-mentioned generously lent us a [Page 92] horse, and a negro-man to bring it back. He was at our inn in the evening. I went to him, and acknowledged his civility and kind­ness to us; and before we parted, we fell in­to a religious conversation, which I hoped might have its service. Several persons were present, one of them the sheriff of the county, who had some share in the discourse and offer­ed his house to have a meeting in. The attor­ney spoke with great moderation, and made considerable concessions respecting the cere­monial part of religion, and seemed pleased with the information I gave him of the princi­ples and discipline of Friends; which I was re­markably opened to give some account of, and we parted friendly.

After he got home, he sent me some wine to assist the friend in our journey (which neces­sity made an acceptable present, as we could buy none that was good in town), with a let­ter to request that, if I staid longer in the country than I expected, I would come to his house; which I took kindly, and suitably ac­knowledged his civility. I just add respecting Bath Town, that the man of the inn, though he behaved civilly to us, appeared to be of a dark ferocious disposition. One night a poor negro girl fell asleep at the top of the stairs, near our chamber door, and he seeing her there kicked her down them. The poor girl cried out, but I did not hear that she was wounded by the fall. Indeed darkness seemed to sur­round us in this house.

[Page 93]The 17th, being the First-day of the week, we set forward in the chaise, and got eighteen miles on our way and lodged at the same house of entertainment as we did when we came down; where we had very poor accom­modation. My friend was greatly fatigued, she grew much worse that night, and next morning the young man that was unwell went to acquaint her husband with her indisposition; but the Almighty did not see sit to continue her in pain till her husband came to her. Her pain was indeed extreme, and soon effected the end for which it was designed; for the 20th in the morning, she quietly expired. From near the first of her being taken ill, she had a sense that it would end in death, and was enabled to resign herself and her near connexions into the hands of Providence. She desired me to pen some memorandums of love and advice, to her husband, children, and re­lations; and then said, she had nothing to do but to die. She several times expressed her satisfaction in having a clear conscience, and I was convinced of her spirit's centering in everlasting blessedness. About twenty-four hours before she departed, I was concerned to supplicate the Almighty on her behalf, that he might be pleased to mitigate her pain, and grant her spirit an easy passage out of its af­flicted tabernacle: for which she expressed thankfulness; and in a short time her pain gra­dually abated, and her death was remarkably easy. Her disorder appeared to be pleuretic. [Page 94] We got her bled, and made use of such other means as our circumstances admitted; but she was averse to having a doctor, nor do I think that one would have been of any service to her.

Through this uncommon trial, my spirit was singularly preserved in patience and stability, though sometimes inexpressibly loaded. My health being but poorly, the fatigue I sustain­ed bore hard upon me; but I was enabled to discharge my duty to my friend, and in the end witnessed the return of peace. My lodging was in the same room with her. I lay down in my clothes upon a bench by the fire-side, whereon the landlady laid something to render it the more easy. The young man who con­tinued with us behaved with remarkable com­posure, patience, and affection to the friend, who was his aunt, and I had reason to hope that the journey would be of lasting service to him.

The day she departed we got a coffin made, and put the corps into it. Whilst it was mak­ing, my neighbour Turton (brother to the young woman who kindly furnished us with the chaise at Bath Town) came in, and was surprised to meet me here. As we had sent back the chaise, and he was going to his sister's, he took charge of it. In the evening, I got a religious opportunity with the family at the inn; and the next morning set off with the corps of my deceased friend. We had pro­cured the wheels of a cart to carry it on, and a man to drive it.

[Page 95]We got well to the Sound, over which we were to cross to Eden Town; but before we got into the boat we met the husband of our deceased friend, who bore the shock full as well as I expected; and it must have been great, to meet in so unexpected a manner the corps of an endeared, affectionate wife. The same evening we crossed the ferry, and pro­ceeded to the house of a planter, who had brought home the corps of his ^* mother about two hours before we came into it.

The 22d, we crossed Perquimons River, and got the corps home; but the affecting sorrow­ful scene of meeting the poor motherless chil­dren (of which there were seven), and other near relations and friends of the deceased, is difficult to describe; nor shall I attempt it, as the ideas it must raise in a sensible mind, will sufficiently represent it.

That night I went to my companion Mary Peisley, and through mercy found her well at Thomas Nicholson's; and next day we went to the quarterly meeting of Friends for the pro­vince [Page 96] of North Carolina, held at Old Neck in Pasquatank county. The meeting was large but exercising, weakness being sensibly felt. I was favoured with a good opportunity a­mongst Friends, wherewith I had reason to believe the sensible part of them had unity, and were thankful for it.

The 25th, we attended the meeting for mi­nisters and elders, and a large publick meeting, which though very exercising in the beginning, ended well; for which favour we had renewed cause to bless the Almighty, who baptizes his ministers into the states of the people, and enables them to minister thereto.

The 25th, we attended the funeral of Re­becca Tombs; and the meeting was large and crowned with solemnity. After the meeting, a young man who kept the ferry at Perqui­mons River, desired to speak with me. When I came over the ferry with the corps of Re­becca Tombs, he was with us in the boat, and while we were upon the water, my mind was affected on his behalf, so much, that when we landed I took him aside and spoke closely to him. What I said had such an ef­fect, that he told me, he could do no less than acknowledge the truth of it; and withal, that his mind was so awakened thereby, that he could take no rest since. I said what then arose in my heart to encourage him to endure the chastising hand of the Lord, until his judgments had wrought their proper effect; and left him with thankfulness that I had [Page 97] been made instrumental to awaken a poor pro­digal to a sense of his outgoings: for such I afterwards heard he was, though the son of a friend in good esteem.

Although I had been almost miraculously supported through the before recited trials, and had been enabled to minister to many peo­ple as I passed along in my journey to Bath Town, and my return; yet considering all the circumstances attending it, much cause for painful rumination was administered. I might naturally query whether it were right for me to turn back, as the ends I had in view, viz. the visiting a few Friends in a desolate situa­tion, as well as having meetings at Eden Town and Bath Town, were in part frustrated; and the afflicted case of the deceased friend's nu­merous family, who, perhaps might have been spared a little longer with them, had she not gone with me, bore so hard upon my mind, that, like Jonah, I wished to die; but I quick­ly saw, that in so doing I erred greatly; for in that impatient state of mind I was not fit to enter into the saint's rest. After some time my mind settled in a good degree of quiet, and it appeared that perhaps the design of Infinite Wisdom, in engaging me to move, as before mentioned, might, in a good degree, be an­swered. And as to Rebecca Tombs, she ap­peared to be in so weak a state when she left home, that had she staid there, her surviving that pinching season of the weather might well be doubted.

[Page 98]The 26th we left the province of North Carolina, and came into Virginia, and the Lord was pleased to cause his peace so to rest upon our spirits, that we were renewedly con­vinced, that we were moving in his counsel. We had travelled upwards of a thousand miles in North Carolina, and been preserved through various jeopardies and trials, to the praise of his adorable name.

The 27th we had our first meeting in Virgi­nia, wherein the testimony of truth was borne in a close manner by both of us, against a dull inactive spirit, and appeared to have some pre­sent effect.

The 28th we went to Nancemond River, and visited several meetings on it, and adjacent to it; wherein we were still exercised to speak closely to the members of them; which I be­lieve tended to the relief of the sensible part of Friends. In one of these meetings, having been closely engaged in testimony, I caution­ed friends to beware of judging me for the liberty which I took amongst them, in laying open the state of the society, although some of other societies were present; remarking, that it was more likely to convince considerate people of the truth, than to hear them salved over in their sins. I concluded with some short remarks and hints of advice to such as were not under our name, which I suppose had its effect on a pretty high professor of the church of England, who accidentally came into the meeting; for the next day he followed us seven [Page 99] miles to a meeting, wherein I was told he was much broken into tears; and the day follow­ing he came about twelve miles to another meeting; I therefore hoped that the Truth had been at work in his heart. I record this passage as an incitement to a faithful discharge of duty in the line the All-wise Director of true ministers points out. He can make effec­tual a few simple expressions to the gathering of those who are without; or even sanctify to them the doctrine which may be lost on the unfaithful professors of his truth.

The 17th of the Third month, we had a meeting at Surry Black Water, which was large; Friends from the neighbouring meet­ings, and many persons of other societies, col­lecting at it. After the meeting, a pretty high professor of the church of England (his name Peter Worrel), but who for some years had been dissatisfied therewith, and had been seeking the way of Truth, sought an opportu­nity of conversation with us. He had follow­ed us to several meetings, and being serious in his inquiries, and free in expressing his sen­timents, he told my companion (who had had most of the service in the meetings he had at­tended), that he could not discover much dif­ference between the ground of the doctrine he had heard from her, and the fundamental principles of the church of England. I saw his state, that he heard with his bodily ears, and judged by his natural understanding, of which he had a good share, and had read [Page 100] much. I therefore told him, that if he would attain the knowledge of the Truth, he must not only understand the words which were spoken, but the power whereby they were given forth; for that, according to the Apostle's testimony, ‘The kingdom of God stands not in word, but in power,’ which, with something else I said, adapted to his case, was carried home beyond my expectation. He followed us to another meeting, and then sought an oppor­tunity with me alone; when he told me, that what I had dropped in conversation, and that day in my ministry, had so affected him, that he was now convinced that a Divine power ac­companied true gospel ministry, and that he thought he should join with us in society; but that he was under some discouragement on ac­count of the degeneracy of many of our mem­bers. I said what then arose in my heart, by way of exciting him to faithfulness; and he parted from us in much love: indeed he was remarkably changed from the time we first saw him; his very countenance bespoke him to have been with Jesus. He was silent, solid, and weighty in spirit, though before talkative and full of head-knowledge in religion. I af­terwards heard well of him, and I think he settled amongst Friends.

I could not but remark on this occasion, how secretly, and almost unknown to our­selves, the Almighty sometimes makes use of us to the effecting of his gracious purposes: for in the meetings this man had attended, [Page 101] previously to our conversation with him, I was much shut up as to ministry; and my com­panion was favoured in the exercise of her gift; in one of them remarkably so; and yet it appeared that I was made the principal in­strument of good to this poor seeking soul.

We then visited several meetings upon Ap­pomatox River; and the Lord was with us, blessed be his name; thence to the South-west Mountains, where we were led in a very low track, myself especially. Thence we proceed­ed through many meetings to James River, and so to the quarterly meeting at Wyanoak Swamp. By the time I came to James River, I was sunk exceedingly low in mind; but as I abode in the patience, the Lord, in his time, was pleased to raise me again to his own ho­nour. From James River, we went through many meetings in Carolina County, up Sher­rando River, and by Opeekan Creek to Fair-fax, which was the last meeting we had in Virginia.

In this Colony we had much suffering of spirit, for, although in many instances we were favoured with a good degree of strength and wisdom, to speak to the states of the people; yet could we not but sympathize with the seed of life, which in many of their souls was op­pressed by a dark carnal spirit: wherein the discipline is too much conducted, or rather in some places so perverted, that this designed wall of defence, is rather a stumbling-block to sober inquiries. There are a number of [Page 102] valuable friends among them; but in some particulars, who, had they kept to the sim­plicity of Truth, might have been serviceable in the ministry; sound and flight are grievous­ly mixed therein, which will never convince the judgment, or settle the mind in the stability of Truth, although they may please the ear, and affect the passions. After leaving the province, we sent them an epistle, which was principally penned by my companion

I think a providential preservation which we experienced in this province worthy record­ing, but, not having retained it in the memo­randums I have preserved, I cannot ascertain the name of the river at which it happened. After a long day's journey, wherein we had dined in the woods on a scanty meal, we came in the evening to the ford of a broad, rapid river, which, from the appearance of the waves, we might suppose had a stony bot­tom. Neither of our guides were acquainted with the ford, and we were afraid to attempt to cross it until it was tried by one of them: so the youngest of them, about 19, went ra­ther beyond the middle of the stream; and not finding it very deep, called to us to follow, which we with the other guide did, when each of them took charge of one of us.

My companion followed him who went first, and they kept a pretty straight course across the river; but my horse, and that of the other friend, bended down the stream, which I con­cluded was occasioned by its force and rapidi­ty. [Page 103] When we got over, we learned that the bed of the river, which was of large pebbles, was so uneven as to render it dangerous. To ford it safely, the horses should have gone a little way down the stream, and turned up a­gain to the landing place; for by going straight across, the edge of a pit in the bottom must be gone over, which was accounted thirty feet deep, so that my companion was in considera­ble danger. Surely much caution is necessary for travellers in crossing unknown waters.

The 25th of the Fourth month we had a meeting at Monoccasy in Maryland, wherein Truth measurably favoured; from which we proceeded to West River, taking the meetings in our way. We came to West River the 29th, and could not get a release from thence till the 8th of the Fifth month. The professors of Truth in this settlement are principally of the offspring of faithful ancestors; but divers of them have taken their flight on the wings of vanity and earthly riches, and slighted the truly valuable eternal inheritance; and, I fear, some even despise that precious faith which was once delivered to the saints. We had six meetings with them, in four of which I was silent; and my companion had not much liberty of spirit until the last meeting; where­in the testimony of Truth was raised in its own dominion. The yearly meeting for this part of Maryland was held during our stay; which, as usual, was attended by people of other societies, and, I heard there was a great [Page 104] desire to hear me speak in this place; but the Lord was pleased very much to disappoint their expectation.

The 8th we went to Gerrard Hopkins's, upon South River: in the way I had a dan­gerous fall from my horse, whereby my left arm was much hurt, but, through Divine fa­vour, no bone was broken or dislocated.

The 9th, we proceeded on our journey, al­though my arm was so weak and painful that I was obliged to carry it in a sling. We pass­ed through several meetings in Baltimore county, to Duck Creek and Bush River, and in many places my companion had good ser­vice; but great were my trials of spirit about this time, under which the Divine arm secret­ly sustained me. Oh! what need is there to stand still in these stripping, dipping seasons, and wait low to discern the way whereby we may escape the temptations of the subtil enemy. As I was favoured to abide here, a little light and strength was afforded; whereby I was en­couraged to trust in that arm of Almighty sufficiency which had hitherto preserved me; and was resigned to travel forward, although I might be led in a low despised track.

The 18th, we came to Susquehannah River, and the 19th, to East Nottingham in Pennsylva­nia, to the house of my dear and worthy friend John Churchman, who was not yet returned from a visit to Friends in England; but his wife and son gladly received us. The 22d we reached Philadelphia, and took up our [Page 105] lodging with our worthy and ancient friend Rachel Pemberton.

Here my dear companion met with a trial very affecting to nature, an account of the death of her father; which however she was the better prepared to receive, from a remark­able sense having for some time rested upon her mind that it was so; and she was assist­ed to bear it with Christian resignation and fortitude, being favoured with the cheering hope that he went well.

We staid in Philadelphia till the 29th, at­tending the meetings of Friends as they came in course, wherein I had some service, and was favoured with peace in the discharge of my duty, though led in a low track, very contrary to the expectations of the people, which were to be disappointed. My com­panion was mostly silent during our stay in this city.

The 29th we left Philadelphia, and set our faces towards the eastern colonies. We ap­pointed but one meeting between Philadel­phia and New York; where we had two large publick meetings, which were attend­ed by many people of other societies; who behaved well, and the testimony of Truth was borne to them by us both. In the evening my companion had an inclination to have a select opportunity with Friends in that city; which, I believe, was memorable to some present, for she was much favoured amongst them.

[Page 106]On the 3d of the Sixth month, we crossed the river to Long Island; and the 5th, had a small meeting with a few who professed the truth at Setoket, and so proceeded to the east end of the island, intending to go from thence to the yearly meeting in Rhode Island. We were accompanied by two Friends from Phila­delphia, John Aimil and Thomas Lightfoot, and one from Setoket. Here we were detain­ed near two days by contrary winds, and lodged at the house of a friendly man, a Pres­byterian, but more generous in his way of thinking than are many of that profession in this Island. I had a concern to have a meet­ing with the neighbours, and a young man kindly offered his house; which we accepted, and a pretty many people came, and behaved well while I was speaking; but very soon af­ter I had done, most of them went away, although the meeting was not yet concluded. The Almighty was pleased to cause many gospel truths to be opened to them, and al­though it seemed to take too little effect, I had peace in the discharge of my duty.

On the 8th, we set sail in a sloop, but the wind not favouring, we dropt anchor that night, and next day, being the First of the week, went on shore at a place about two miles distant from whence we embark­ed. Here we were received by another Pres­byterian, and that day were favoured with a comfortable religious opportunity together. The wind continued contrary to the 12th, [Page 107] in which interval we had a meeting with some of the neighbours; which, although exercising by reason of the hardness of their hearts, was favoured by Divine condescensi­on; many gospel truths being testified to therein, which I hope had admittance in some minds.

The 12th, early in the morning we sail­ed, accompanied by the before-mentioned friends, and landed on Rhode Island in the afternoon.

The 13th, we attended a large meeting at Portsmouth. The 14th, the yearly meeting began, which was held at Newport, and con­tinued till the 17th. It was attended by a large number of Friends and others; and the Lord was pleased to manifest his ancient love and power amongst us, whereby our spirits were set at liberty in the exercise of our gifts. I had particularly, at divers times, to oppose that dark principle of unconditional election and reprobation, and had cause to hope the testimony against it had weight with some of its professors. We were exercised for the res­toration of discipline, which had been much neglected in this quarter; and our endeavours for its establishment were measurably crowned with success; so that, upon the whole, at this yearly meeting abundant cause was administer­ed for thankfulness to the bounteous Author of all good. We visited the prison; we also visited several friends who were confined [Page 108] through indisposition; in which charitable service we had peace and comfort.

The 19th, we went to Tiverton, and so, through several meetings in that quarter, to the monthly meeting at Poniganset, wherein we were exceeding closely exercised; the tes­timony principally directed to Friends.

After we left Newport, my mind was much distressed, and drawn back to that place, but my companion not encouraging me, and I be­ing fearful, did not return, which I had after­wards reason to believe I ought to have done; for after our leaving it, a young man whom we had visited in his illness died. He was of considerable account in the world, and just upon the point of marriage with an agree­able young woman of the same meeting. Had I moved in faith, I might have got to his funeral.

It is worthy remarking, that while I was under the exercise for returning back, two friends came to visit us, and my companion being engaged above stairs, I was with them alone a short time. We sat a few minutes in silence, when one of them said, ‘Go down to the camp and see,’ without any com­ment upon the expression. I had doubtless been ruminating why my mind should be drawn back; and had I attended to this in­timation, and set off immediately, I might, with close riding, have reached the before­mentioned funeral, and have returned in sea­son to the monthly meeting at Poniganset; [Page 109] whereto, as Friends of the particular meetings resorted, all the service required of me might have been answered.

The 28th, we went on board a sloop, and sailed for the Island of Nantucket. We in­tended, by Divine permission, to have attend­ed the yearly meeting there, but the wind proving contrary, we did not get there till the 30th, when the meeting was in part over. We went on shore for a few hours on Elizabeth Island, where we saw no inhabitant; but it being a fine sun-shine day, and the ground rising from the sea, we laid ourselves down upon the turf, and got a little sleep; for the sloop was so crouded, being small, that we could get very little on board. At Nan­tucket we met our friends Daniel Stanton, Is­rael Pemberton, &c. from Philadelphia, who had all been with us at the yearly meeting at Rhode Island. We were mutually refreshed together, and the Lord favoured us in his service, both in the work of the ministry and in discipline; to the satisfaction and relief of the sensible body of Friends, and I hope to the edification of some others.

The inhabitants of this Island were favoured with wonderful visitations from on high, at the time when our valuable friends John Richardson and others visited America; by whose labours as ministers, a large meeting was gathered to the praise of the Lord's name; which wrought powerfully to the turning the people from "darkness to light:" [Page 110] and many worthy professors of Truth then belonged to it, men and women zealous for the honour of it, who walked in that true light wherein they had believed. But most of these being removed to their eternal man­sions, and their offspring not generally walk­ing by the same rule, our society was in a state of weakness, although the meeting was yet large, and there remained a living remnant in it. Some of the youth, especially of our own sex, appeared hopeful; but having been left much to themselves, and the work of the discipline having been neglected, they were unprepared for it, and ignorant of its weight and necessity; so that the meeting seemed in a dwindling condition, as to the life of Truth. We laboured for an amendment in these re­spects; and in order thereto, recommended their bringing the young people of orderly conversations to their meetings for business (which had been too much neglected); with which Friends concurred, and also with the proposition for their holding two meetings for worship on the First-day; whereby the time, which was too frequently squandered away un­profitably, by at least many of the younger sort, might be better employed. Some of the members of the meeting living distant from it, had probably prevented their holding two meetings heretofore on the First-day; but that was no excuse for those who dwelt in the town.

[Page 111]We left the Island in peace, in the after­noon of the 1st of the Seventh month, in com­pany with our aforsaid friends from Philadel­phia, and landed at Woodshold the same even­ing; whence Daniel Stanton and Israel Pem­berton returned homewards, but the other friend, not being quite easy to leave us, con­cluded, with our permission▪ to accompany us a little further. He was one of those who came with us from Philadelphia as guide, and had accompanied us to Rhode Island, and while with us, had been remarkably under the baptizing power of Truth; which raised a tender regard in our minds towards him, and we were not easy to refuse his company, al­though he was in a single station. Our Friends also of Philadelphia, who left us here, concurred in his stay, and that the more freely, as some assistance might be wanted in some places we were about to pass through.

Here I suggest some cautions necessary to be observed by young women in a single state, who travel in the service of the ministry, to­wards those of the other sex, who are also unmarried.

First, to guard their own minds, lest they admit of any pleasing imagination, and stamp it with the awful name of revelation; and so slide into a familiarity and freedom of con­versation and behaviour, which might tend to engage the affections of young men. Secondly, to endeavour to retain a feeling sense of the state of the spirits of those with whom they are in­timate, [Page 112] and strictly to observe their conduct and behaviour towards them: so will they be the better able to judge of their motives for accompanying them, or of any other act of kindness; and may wisely check any for­ward thought which looks beyond friendship; which my easily be done by some prudent re­marks (yet obliquely) in conversation. Third­ly, to beware of hurting any of these ten­der plants by an austere conduct. When we are singularly made instruments of good, in the hand of Providence, to any soul, there is a natural aptitude to lean a little to the instru­ment, and to prefer it above others, which for a time may be allowable. The Lord, lead­ing the mind by gradual steps from the love of other objects to the entire love of himself, the one only pure, eternal, Excellency, may per­mit it for a season to lean to an instrument; in which case a prudent reserve is necessary, as well as a tender regard to the growth of the party thus visited. I confess, it is sometimes a nice point, to be ready to be of service to such, and preserve the unity of the spirit, free from mixture of natural affection; a distinc­tion which I fear has been overlooked by some to their great hurt, but which Truth, if adher­ed to, will make; and will also direct to steer safely betwixt these dangerous extremes.

From Woodshold we went to Falmouth, and so to the quarterly meeting at Sandwich, which began the 5th of the Seventh month. It was small and exercising, but we were favoured [Page 113] with Divine assistance, through which the tes­timony of Truth was set over the heads of the gainsayers.

From hence we went to Yarmouth, where we had a good meeting with a few Friends, and a pretty many of the neighbours, and returned back to Sandwich.

The 10th, we had a meeting at Pembroke, which was attended by many people of other societies, who were much displeased because we were silent. In the evening we had a meeting with a few friends; the principal service whereof was to strengthen their hands in the discipline.

The 11th, we went to Boston, and had a meeting there with Friends and some others the same evening, which ended comforta­bly.

The 12th, our friend of Philadelphia left us to return home, and we pursued our journey towards the quarterly meeting, to be held at Hampton the 13th and 14th, and with hard travelling we reached it in due time. But such a scene of confusion and distraction I never was in before; occasioned by a company of Ranters, who had gone out from Friends in a spirit of separation; but who, in reality, were never properly of us, having been in­judiciously taken into membership, before Friends knew on what foundation they were; and being high-minded, heady, and exceeding­ly wild in their imaginations (which they ac­counted revelations), would not submit to the [Page 114] sense of Friends in the discipline, and were therefore disowned. These frequently made it their practice to disturb the meetings of Friends, with their wild disorderly appearan­ces; and many of them came to this quarter­ly meeting, against whom we had to testify, be­ing in the course of the meetings exceedingly burdened with their spirits and publick ap­pearances under pretence of preaching; but we were obliged to suffer under their spirits, until our concluding meeting, whereto many of them came. After a time of silence there­in, my companion stood up, and one of their company began haranguing the people in the grave-yard, and others were disturbing Friends in the meeting house; wherein I think a form broke down, whereby the dis­turbance became so great, that she sat down in discouragement, and the meeting continued in disorder. In a short time I stood up with a view to inform the people present who did not profess with us (who were numerous), of the reason of our conduct towards these Ranters. I had said but little before I was sensible of the spring of Divine life being opened; from whence I was enabled to mi­nister, though I had no view of what was given me to speak before I stood up; but I was immediately and mercifully clothed with such a degree of authority, that it might in­deed be said, the Truth was over all, and the meeting ended in awful solemnity: for [Page 115] which my soul was humbly thankful to the Lord, who gave us victory over these delud­ed spirits.

The 16th, we went to Dover, and had two meetings with Friends in that quarter, in both of which I was shut up. We attended the funeral of a friend whose relations were Pres­byterians, and had a seasonable opportunity among the people, wherein the testimony of Truth was exalted.

The 20th, we had a meeting with Friends at Thomas Henson's; and thence went to Berwick and Winter Harbour, whence we crossed part of Casco Bay in a canoe, to visit a few friends on some islands therein. Seve­ral friends from Dover, &c. accompanied us in this journey; wherein had human fears prevailed, we might have apprehended our­selves in danger from the Indians, who some­times annoy the inhabitants, killing some, and carrying others captive to Canada: but our spirits were mercifully preserved above fear, and comforted with the hope of Truth's prosperity among the few friends in that quar­ter; several of whom were under its humbling visitation, and therefore were near to our spi­rits; from whom we departed in gospel love, and returned to Dover the 30th.

The 1st of the Eighth month, we went to New Town, had a meeting at Nathan Hoeg's, wherein much instructive doctrine flowed to several states, particularly to that of the be­fore mentioned Ranters; and we found that [Page 116] there were present two young women who sometimes went among them, with whom, af­ter meeting, we had some discourse. They behaved civilly to us, and told us they had heard many lies of us; and one of them was considerably tendered in spirit, but the other was high in imagination.

From hence we proceeded to Almsbury and Newbury, where a concern rested upon my dear companion to go back, and pay a visit in the love of the gospel to these Ran­ters, for whom she had for some time been ex­ercised, and particularly for their leader James Bean; a man of great cunning and a strong will, who had heretofore been suffered to mi­nister amongst Friends. She laid this concern before Friends, wherewith they concurring, we went on the 5th to Brintwood, the place where they held their meeting. Many friends accompanied us, who I believe were earnestly desirous that we might be rightly conducted among these dark, crafty spirits; who readily gave us an opportunity with them at their own meeting-house. In the forepart of the meeting several of them spoke something, but at length my companion got liberty, and was favoured with the openings and power of Truth, directly pointed to the confused delud­ed state wherein they were. I was also exer­cised in the like manner, and we had good tidings for some of them, viz. that there was a way open for them to return, if they would suffer their wills and works to be tried, judged, [Page 117] and condemned; which I believe a few of them received well; for there appeared to be some simple-hearted deluded souls among them; who, being taken with the more than ordinary shew of righteousness, and high pre­tensions to enjoyments, visions, and revela­tions; and not having their spiritual faculties sufficiently strong to discern betwixt the reali­ty and the image of Truth; had been inadver­tently catched by them. We had reason to hope that our labours and sufferings among these ranting spirits had its service; for after we left them, we heard that from that time they had been less troublesome to Friends in their meetings.

The 7th, we had meetings at Lynn and Salem. The first was large, and greatly mix­ed with people of other societies, wherein the Lord was pleased to favour me in the exer­cise of my gift: the last was of Friends select, and the service principally fell upon my com­panion, whose concern chiefly pointed to Friends.

The 8th, we went to Boston, and attended the monthly meeting there the same day, to which came many people of other societies, but we were wholly silent. We staid over the First-day meetings, which were attended by abundance of people not professing with us; but neither of us had much to impart to them, which was matter of wonder both to them and to some who professed with us; there being now a willingness in the people [Page 118] of this city, to hear the testimony of Truth. We were engaged to pay a religious visit to most of the families of Friends there, where­in we were favoured with the satisfactory evi­dence of being in the way of our duty; and from which we hoped some good would ensue, for it seemed to have considerable effect up­on some, especially of the youth.

The 14th, we went to Mendon, and after having visited a few little meetings to the north-west; we passed, through several, to Rhode Island. We were painfully exercised in this quarter, being engaged for the estab­lishing of a right discipline; and in the dis­couragement of a ministry in words, which was not accompanied with the power of Truth; wherewith some of the people were amused, but not profitably fed, and the truly sensible were distressed. In divers places we were mostly or wholly silent, in large mixed meet­ings, perhaps for examples to these forward spirits. It raised the displeasure of some a­gainst us; but we were mercifully preserved patient and resigned, and I hope ready to do good for evil.

The 27th, we came to Newport on Rhode Island, and were affectionately received by our friends Thomas and Mary Richardson and their children, with whom we lodged both now and when there before.

The 28th, we were at their week-day meet­ing, which was pretty much mixed with peo­ple of other societies; but our concern at [Page 119] this time being principally to Friends, their coming rendered it difficult for us to discharge our duties. We therefore requested a meet­ing of Friends select, which we obtained, and I believe it ended to the general satisfaction of the sensible minds present; the Lord's power being exalted therein, under the tendering effects whereof some of the youth were bow­ed.

From Newport we went through several meetings on the island of Poniganset to Green­wich, wherein I had but little share in the ministry; but my companion had good ser­vice in this quarter. Here we parted from many Friends who had been made near to us in the Truth; and on the 8th of the Ninth month, set our faces towards New York government; but my companion, not finding her spirit released from Greenwich, we returned back the next morning, and had a meeting with Friends there the same day; and the 10th, had one at Machanticut. We had some painful labour in both these meet­ings, the cause of which I forbear to mention, but in the end had to point out one of the parties that had occasioned it.

The 11th, we proceeded on our journey through Connecticut Province, to Oblong in New York government, about 150 miles, having no meetings by the way but at New Millford, where there is a few under the pro­fession of Truth.

[Page 120]From thence we went to Salisbury, and the Nine Partners; where my companion was confined by indisposition, and I was obliged to attend the meetings in this quarter alone; wherein I was favoured with a degree of Divine help.

The 23d, we returned to Oblong, and were at the meetings there on the First-day, which were large, and I hope serviceable.

From hence we had thoughts of passing through the other meetings of Friends on the main land in this quarter, and so of proceed­ing to Long Island; but soon after we left Oblong, a cloud came over our spirits; and being divested of a capacity for service, we concluded to go directly to Long Island, and there to rest until the cause or end of this dis­pensation should be manifested to us; which proved to be a separation from each other. I had long seen it would be so, and some of our friends before we left Europe expected, and rather pressed it; fearing that our ser­vice would be less to the church by our keep­ing together, than if we separated. We had now travelled together as companions in the most difficult parts of the country; had shared so many trials, sufferings, and dangers, and had been favoured with great unity of spirit therein, that it appeared hard for us to part; but when we were convinced of the proprie­ty of it, we submitted, in hope that it might tend to the benefit of that glorious cause, for which we left our native land. After patient­ly [Page 121] waiting some days, my companion's way opened to Philadelphia; but I not being quite clear that the time for my leaving this quarter was fully come, concluded to stay behind her; which she, as well as myself, being most easy with, we imparted our exercise to Friends at their monthly meeting, and had their appro­bation in our separation.

The 3d of the Tenth month, we took an affectionate leave of each other at the house of our friend John Bowne of Flushing; and she, accompanied by some men friends, pro­ceeded towards Philadelphia. My view was to turn back to the few meetings we had not visited on the main land, and J. Bowne's wife being willing to accompany me, we, with two men friends, left her house the same afternoon. We had a pretty broad ferry to cross, and the tide not serving until evening, it was near night when we got over. We did not go in the same boat with the horses, but one of the men friends staid with them, and we could not expect them over for a consider­able time. The ferry house seemed a poor place to lodge at, and it appeared proper we should that night get to the house of a friend, who was member of the meeting I wished to attend next day, that notice might be given of it; and if we staid for our horses the family might probably be gone to bed. We therefore inquired for horses to proceed forward, but could procure only one, upon which I deter­mined to go with a man to ride before me, [Page 122] who was to bring the horse back. My friends who were with me knew the people of the fer­ry, so I set out without fear, although I had no pillion. We had but about two or three miles to ride, and it was a fine, clear, moon­light night, and most of the way on an even sand. I soon found the horse was a stumbler (indeed the poor beast had no shoes on, a common case on Long Island, and other even, sandy parts of the country), and when we had gone perhaps half way, down he came, and threw us both; but we were thrown far enough from the horse to receive no hurt from him. The horse rolled upon his back, and when he arose I found the saddle had no girth to it, and I knew before that it had no crupper, so it was unlikely that its rider should have any command of him when he fell. We had a kind of a wash-way to pass before we got to the friend's house, so I could not well walk it; therefore I mounted again at some high rails, and we reached the house before the family was in bed; and my friends came safe the same night. I visited the meetings on the Main, which I had a view of, and returned to Flush­ing the 5th.

I wished to visit the meetings on Long Island, that I might be excused from return­ing back thereto; but not having ease of mind in the prospect, I concluded to follow my companion to Philadelphia; in which I believe I was right, as it tended to convince Friends in general that our separation was not occasion­ed [Page 123] by any difference betwixt us, or other im­proper cause or motive: so I proceeded ac­cordingly, accompanied by one man friend.

On the 7th, we stopped to refresh ourselves at New York, and my affectionate friend Mar­garet Bowne at whose house we had lodged before, concluded to take me in her chaise to Philadelphia: a seasonable relief from riding on horseback. We crossed the Sound that af­ternoon, and reached Philadelphia the 10th, a journey of about 100 miles from New York. My companion had gone a little round, in her way from Long Island to visit a general meet­ing, and came to Philadelphia the same day; and after having conversed with each other, we were mutually satisfied with meeting, al­though we could not see that we should unite again in the service through the provinces of Pennsylvania and the Jerseys.

We staid in Philadelphia more than a week, and our friends were unanimous that it was best for us to separate. My way opened to go to the yearly meeting to be held at Shrews­bury. In the way thereto, I fell in with se­veral week-day meetings, and with one ap­pointed by Joshua Dixon, a friend on a religi­ous visit from England. I had also some ser­vice in the families of Friends, for which I had my reward. The meeting at Shrewsbury began the 28th, and was attended by divers valuable ministers; and indeed I thought there was need of weight to counteract the light fro­thy spirit which appeared in the people, both [Page 124] in s [...]e of those who made profession of Truth, as well as many of other societies; whose mo­tive in attending that meeting being more to please the natural mind, by getting into the company and conversation of each other, than for the honour of Truth, they added no weight to it. However, the Lord was pleas­ed so to favour, that the testimony of Truth was several times set over them in good au­thority. I was particularly engaged for the welfare of my fellow members in society, and desired an opportunity with the heads of fami­lies; which was procured, and I had good satisfaction in it.

The 30th, I left Shrewsbury, and the 1st of the Eleventh month, returned to Philadel­phia, a journey of near 90 miles. I met my com­panion here well and also my dear friends John Churchman, who was returned from his visit to Friends in England, and Samuel Forther­gill, who was entering upon one to Friends in America. We were mutually refreshed in beholding the faces one of another, our uni­on in the Truth being strong, which was now renewed in the fresh springing up of its life. We all attended the quarterly meeting at Philadel­phia, which was large, and eminently crown­ed with the Divine presence; wherein my companion and self rejoiced, though we had but little share in the public service.

As we found it right to part, for the gos­pel's sake, on the 8th, we took leave of each other in a degree of cheerfulness, and in the [Page 125] unity of the spirits; committing each other to the Divine protection, under a feeling sense of his humbling goodness. My views pointed to West Jersey, so I crossed the River Dela­ware at Philadelphia, being accompanied by Sarah Barney, a religious young woman of the Island of Nantucket, who had come to Philadelphia to spend some time among Friends there, and found freedom to go with me for a while, as I did to except of her company. She was not in the ministry.

I passed through a train of meetings to the quarterly meeting at Salem, and my concern principally bending to the members of our own society in that quarter, I was pleased that the meetings, were not mixed with others; and was sometimes favoured with a degree of enlargement in the heavenly gift, though at others poor and low.

The quarterly meeting at Salem began the 16th and ended the 19th, wherein I had close hard exercise in spirit, as well as in minis­terial service, in which I was not much enlarg­ed.

The 20th, I had a meeting at Greenwich, where there is a promising prospect among the youth, on several of whom the solidity of Truth is deeply impressed. My spirit was closely united to them, but could minister but little. It appeared to me, that the Almigh­ty would more perfect his work in them, by the immediate operation of his own Spirit, than by the help of instruments.

[Page 126]The 21st, we rode between 50 and 60 miles to Cape May, visited the few Friends there and so proceeded to Great Egg Har­bour, visited the several meetings there, and the 28th, went to Little Egg Harbour. We went a considerable way betwixt these two harbours in a canoe just wide enough for one person to sit in: there was ice in the bottom of it, which being broken, some straw was laid for me to sit on.

Hence we proceeded, through Upper Springfield, to New York. In our way we lodged at Amboy, at the house of a widow, who was under the profession of Truth. Here we met with a young woman, to whose person and character I was an entire stranger, on whose account I became concerned, suspect­ing that all was not right with her: and in the morning after breakfast, I spoke to her in a very close manner, and gave her such advice, as in the openings of Truth arose in my heart. I thought I could partly have pointed out her crime, had not delicacy and fear kept me back. She wept much, and hastily retired in great confusion and agitation of mind; and I afterwards heard that she had had a child by her sister's husband, and was come here to be sheltered from publick notice; but the Lord followed her, and I had reason to hope that the extendings of his grace were towards her, although she had been so great an offen­der. After some more close and very parti­cular service with the woman of the house, I [Page 127] left it in peace and thankfulness to the Almighty, who had enabled me to discharge this hard piece of service; for so indeed it was, to speak thus to individuals and strang­ers: but in the day of his power his people are made willing to execute his commands.

I went to Raway and Rywoods meetings, and got to New York the 5th of the Twelfth month; and after a meeting there went on Long Island, where I visited all the settled meetings of Friends, save one, which I had been at before. My concern here at this time principally bended towards the members of our own society; and sometimes when meetings were much mixed with others, I had nothing to say to them; which gave of­fence, not only to them, but to some carnal professors of Truth; but I endeavoured to rest satisfied in the Divine will, well knowing, In­finite Wisdom knew best what to administer for their good. At Flushing, the people not pro­fessing with us, had a great curiosity to hear me preach. Many of them had been with me at two meetings when I was before on the Island at both of which I was silent, and now came again, and were a third time disappoint­ed, I believe in wisdom; for they being still dissatisfied, a number of young people came in the evening to my lodgings, I suppose with an intent to know whether I had any private meeting in the family, with whom I sat down in retirement; and others of the neighbour­hood hearing of it (by means of some of the [Page 128] family whom they had desired to give them intelligence if there were such an opportunity), came in, and I had a remarkable testimony amongst them, directed to their states; the force of which some of them could not evade, as the opportunity was so select. I found after­wards that divers of them were Deists, a­gainst whose principles I had to strike with much strength and clearness. Friends pre­sent were comforted in the feeling of Divine goodness; for the power of Truth was ex­alted, blessed for ever be the name of the Lord; who in his own time, will honour such as honour him by manifesting that they are no­thing, nor can do any thing, but through his Divine assistance.

The 18th of the Twelfth month, we left Long Island, in a thankful sense of the pro­vidential care of our heavenly Father, in preserving and sustaining us through the many dangers and difficulties attendant on this jour­ney in the winter season; when the roads in many places were bad, and we had many broad, wild ferries to cross, which are some­times rendered very dangerous through the frost and strong gales of wind; but the wea­ther was always favourable when we crossed them.

The 19th, I attended a monthly meeting at Woodbridge, which was small and exercis­ing, wherein I had little service, except to strengthen the hands of Friends in the disci­pline, the line whereof should have been far­ther [Page 129] stretched over some transgressors. We rested a day or two at Raway, at the house of our kind friends Jos. and Sarah Shotwell, and the 22d, went to Plainfield, and thence, through several small meetings, to a number of meetings about Burlington, which were most­ly large, and some of them satisfactory, be­ing attended by the power of Truth; but the doctrine was mostly close, for which there was sorrowfully a cause. The 13th of the First month, 1755, we crossed the River Delaware, and were at a meeting at Bristol, in Bucks County, Pennsylvania; which was not large, but attended with a degree of the Divine presence. The 15th, we were at the Falls meeting, in which I was silent, and which was a comfortable season to me. The 16th, I parted from my companion Sarah Barney, who having received a hurt upon her arm by a fall from her horse, was prevented from ac­companying me further. She was a tender af­fectionate companion, and very exemplary in her conversation; which together with that sincere love to Truth which dwelt in her, uni­ted her to my spirit.

Grace Fisher, a friend in the ministry from Philadelphia, accompanied me through the rest of the meetings in Bucks County, which were five. In some seasons of silence the people appeared to be too generally in a dull, slug­gish state. In some of these meetings the Al­mighty pleased to open the spring of the mi­nistry, which I believe flowed in a manner not [Page 130] quite agreeable to some, who wanted smooth things, although they were not their portion: and may I never minister so deceitfully, as to cry Peace, when his holy spirit is grieved. There is in this country a weighty, living num­ber of friends, unto whom my spirit was close­ly united in the covenant of life, but there are many dwellers at ease. Some of the youth appear promising, and the Divine visitation was largely extended to many. Oh! that they may embrace and dwell under it, so as to become partakers of the glorious privileges of the gospel dispensation.

The 21st, I again crossed the River Dela­ware, accompanied by Grace Crosdale, a Friend of Bucks County, who had a gift in the ministry, and went to Bethlehem, and thence to visit a few families about twenty miles back in the woods; with some of whom we had a meeting which was attended by several of their neighbours; to whom I was drawn to minister freely in the love of the gospel, and believe it had its effect amongst them.

The 23d, we again crossed the River Del­aware, which was pretty full of ice, and our men friends were a little doubtful that if they went over with us they could not return the next day, should the frost continue; as the ice might be united, though not strong enough to bear them; and I being unwilling they should be detained, concluded to go with two men (strangers to me, but one of them known to friends in general) who were waiting for a [Page 131] passage over the river; they accompanied us to a friend's house about five miles on the other side where the next day we had a small meeting with a few Dutch people, and then proceeded to the upper part of Philadelphia County and Berks County, in which part the meetings are mostly small. I had some painful labour of spirit in this quarter, and also a comfortable prospect; for the Lord has amongst Friends here, a remnant of the anci­ent stock, who have, in a good degree, kept their habitations in the Truth; and a few of the youth are brought under its humbling bap­tism; and I thought the extendings of his Di­vine visitation were to the careless.

The 31st, we crossed the River Schuylkill in a canoe, and our horses were swum over. We attended a meeting at Nantmill in Ches­ter County, the 1st of the Second month; and passed through several meetings to the quarterly meeting for Chester County, held at Concord.

About this time I was under a very heavy exercise of spirit, being environed with dark­ness and made to stand as in the state of such as despise religion, and call in question Divine justice and mercy. Under this painful bap­tism I continued many days, whereby all the blessings of kind Providence were imbittered, and my life seemed a burthen; yet sometimes a glimpse of light would dart through the cloud, and I conceived a hope of deliverance thereby, and that this dispensation was allot­ted [Page 132] renewedly to fit me to minister to some in this state, as well as to sympathize with the afflicted and tempted. It appeared to me re­markable that although I was thus exercised when out of meetings, both by day and by night, and perhaps for a considerable part of the time I was in them; yet was I not en­tirely disabled for service; the cloud would break as in an instant, and I had just light and strength afforded to see and discharge my duty; and after a while it would close up again as before. My soul hath abundant cause to bless the name of my God in this and such like painful seasons, which I desire to retain in lasting remembrance; for had it not been for the support of his powerful mer­ciful hand, I had been as one who goes down into the pit; being as it were entered, in thought, into the dark avenues which lead to destruction; yet faintly (as I thought) ad­hearing to that faith which was once delivered to the saints. These are the seasons of the ‘trial of our faith, which is more precious than that of gold which perisheth.’

The quarterly meeting at Concord began the 7th of the Second month, where I met my dear companion Mary Peisly. Our meet­ing was attended with Divine consolation, under a sense of the protection of Providence having been over us in our absence from each other; and our union in the Truth was re­newed and strengthened. The quarterly meet­ing was large, and Divinely favoured and the [Page 133] testimony of Truth therein exalted in strength and clearness.

The minds of some members of our society were at this time much unsettled through government affairs. A war with the French seemed likely to break out; and some were for deviating from our Christian testimony, which is against defensive, as well as offen­sive war; consistently with that pure charity which ‘beareth all things, and seeketh not its own’ by means contrary to the ten­dency of the peaceable gospel dispensation. Against this spirit we had to testify, I hope to good purpose, for the power of Truth was over the meetings in an eminent degree, whereby the doctrine preached was enforced: glory be to the Lord for ever! He bringeth down and raiseth up, for the honour of his own name, and the establishment of his ser­vants in righteousness and truth. The scrip­ture given me to comment upon in this meet­ing was Joel 2d, verse the 15th, and some following, whereon I was opened to my own humbling admiration and that of some of my friends. Here we met our friends John Churchman, Joshua Dixon, and many more, with whom our spirits were comforted in the Divine presence.

The 12th, we came to Philadelphia, where we spent a few days, and were principally en­gaged in visiting some friends' families and the girls' school for Friends' children. We also visited the prison, wherein were confined [Page 134] several who had made some profession of Truth, viz. one for debt, and three boys for theft, who, with the fourth, their accomplice, were much broken in spirit. This was to me one of the most affecting services I had ever been engaged in, from the consideration of their deplorable circumstances; for although their lives might be spared, a lasting stain might remain upon their reputation; but we were comforted in the hope of their be­ing brought to repentance, as Divine mercy was extended unto them. Oh! how careful ought young people to be of the com­pany they keep; for if they are familiar with the children of darkness, they too often, by almost imperceptible degrees, contract their vicious inclinations, and are led into acts of wicked­ness, from which they would once, perhaps, have shrunk back with horror.

The 18th, we went in company to Frank­fort, where we had a good meeting, and parted in the comfortable sense of the Divine presence; my companion going to some meet­ings in Bucks County, and myself to A­bington, Horsham, and Plymouth, accompani­ed by Sarah Morris of Philadelphia, and An­na Logan.

The 22d, I again met my companion at Burlington, where we attended the quarterly meeting for the upper part of West Jersey; which was a solemn season, and the spring of the ministry was opened to edification and comfort.

[Page 135]The 26th and 27th, we attended the quar­terly meeting in Bucks county, Pennsylvania; which was large and satisfactory, Divine help being extended to the encouragement of us and of the faithful present. Here my com­panion and I again separated in a sense of our heavenly Father's love; and myself with Sarah Morris proceeded to visit some meetings in Bucks and Philadelphia Counties, and came to Philadelphia the 8th of the Third month. I staid in and about the city till the 24th, visiting some of the families of friends, as my strength which was but low, would permit; but I had solid peace in spending a few days in this service.

On the 24th, I went to Newtown in West Jersey, so to Evesham and Haddonfield to the quarterly meeting for that province; where­in I was low both in body and mind, and had [...] much publick service.

The 28th, the half-year's meeting at Phi­ladelphia began. Here I again met my dear companion Mary Peisley. The meeting was large and solemn, there was much silence in it, which was perhaps not less profitable to many, though less pleasing, than preaching.

The 3d of the Fourth month we again sepa­rated, and I went towards the eastern shore of Maryland, having for a companion Han­nah Foster of West Jersey, also Joshua Fisher of Philadelphia, who went to assist us, it be­ing a quarter wherein it might have been difficult always to procure guides. We were [Page 136] obliged to travel hard, and I having also hard service amongst a few unfaithful profes­sors of Truth who were scattered about in this quarter, and my health being poor, it was painful for me to pursue the journey; but Divine goodness secretly sustained my soul, and assisted to discharge my duty according to knowledge; and in the end afforded a comfortable hope that my labour was not en­tirely fruitless. We attended a half-year's meeting at Chester in Maryland, and another at Duck Creek: at the last we met John Churchman. We had labourious travail of spirit, the life of Truth being low in that quarter, but through Infinite goodness, the testimony of it was raised in a good degree of authority. We had comfortable hope re­specting some young people hereaway, and part­ed from the living amongst them under a sense of Divine favour. We proceeded through several small meetings of Friends (wherein I had painful labour of spirit, yet I hope some solid service) to Lewiston. There is no meeting of Friends established here, but we had a large one in the court-house, wherein the power and testimony of Truth was raised in domini­on to the praise of the great Name.

The 29th, we returned to Duck Creek, myself in a very low state both of body and mind; but as I endeavoured to keep my mind to the Lord, he was pleased as in an instant to dispel the thick cloud of darkness which for some days had encompassed me; [Page 137] and so to lift up the light of his countenance upon me, that I rejoiced exceedingly in the hope of his salvation.

The 4th of the Fifth month my compani­on Hannah Foster left me at East Nottingham, and my valuable friend Margaret Churchman (wife of John Churchman) accompanied me to some meetings in Lancaster and York Coun­ties; and so to the yearly meeting held at West River, for the western shore of Mary­land, at which I had been with my companion M. Peisley, in 1754, but had then but little public service amongst the people. I met with some opposition in my endeavours for the revival of discipline, from apostate and libertine spirits; but the Lord supported me above it.

The yearly meeting was large, and Divine­ly favoured. Several friends came over the bay to it, and I was favoured to see a little fruit of my painful labour when on the other side, by the change which was apparently wrought in a young person, who was then of a light conversation. William Brown, from Philadelphia, attended this meeting, and had good service therein. Love seemed to spread amongst Friends at this time, and we left them in peace, and returned the 26th to East Not­tingham; where I met Sarah Morris, from Philadelphia, who proposed to accompany me through Chester and Lancaster Counties, &c. She was a truly exemplary woman, and some­times highly favoured in the ministry.

[Page 138]We left Nottingham the 29th, and passed through the rest of the meetings in Lancaster County, wherein I had much close service. We visited Chester County pretty thoroughly, wherein is a very large body of professors of Truth, but many of them are deficient in regard to its sanctifying operation upon the spirit. Many noble pillars have been removed from amongst them, and some of the elders who then remained had unhappily lost their stations in the Truth, and yet nominally re­tained their offices in the church. These were stumbling blocks to the youth, who were too apt to look at the example of such, and to plead their inconsistent practices as an excuse for their own taking liberties in other respects. Against these, and such like deceitful watchers and pretended labourers, who had not kept the vineyard of their own hearts, and yet dared to stretch forth their hands to the Lord's service, I had sharply to testify: and I some­times was made an example of silence in the solemn assemblies. There was also in this county a solid living number of friends, who were preachers of righteousness in their respec­tive stations, both by example and precept; with whose unity the Lord was pleased to fa­vour me, and who I trust will ever be near to my life in that holy bond, which neither time nor death can dissolve.

After visiting Chester County, I became much indisposed, and retired to the house of my kind friend John Morris, in Philadelphia [Page 139] County; where (as at several time before had been the case) I was affectionately received, and the necessary endeavours were used for my recovery; which the Lord was pleased so to bless, that I was enabled in about two weeks, to pursue my journey, though in considerable weakness of body. In this season of confine­ment and release from public labour, the good physician so favoured, that although my body sustained considerable pain and weakness, my mind rather gathered strength, and was great­ly encouraged in the hope of future preserva­tion. My dear companion M. Peisley came to me from Philadelphia, who having visited al­most all the meetings of Friends on the conti­nent of America, entertained hope of our soon embarking for our native lands; but we had much more both to do and to suffer, be­fore that hour came. We met in wonted affection, and therein again parted the 2d of the Seventh month; when I proceeded to visit some meetings in Philadelphia and Berks County, where there seemed a promising pros­pect amongst the youth, some of whom appear­ed to be advancing in rectitude of spirit and conduct at which my soul rejoiced; it being part of the fruits of that labour of love, the Lord of the harvest had caused us to bestow upon them. I had considerable freedom in the exercise of my gift in this renewed visit to these places, and again met my companion the 16th, at Stenton near Philadelphia; from which place we went in company to Philadel­phia [Page 140] the 17th, and thence to the quarterly meeting at Concord, in Chester County; af­ter which I proceeded to some other meetings in that county, and returned to my compani­on at Philadelphia the 19th of the Eighth month.

From this time we were mostly together while in the country, which was much longer than was agreeable to our natural inclinations; for we were detained the winter; being en­gaged in visiting the families of Friends in Philadelphia, in conjunction with the Friends who were under appointment for that service; in which important work, we were frequent­ly favoured by the Wise Head of the church, who directs, that even ‘Jerusalem shall be searched with lighted candles;’ and for that purpose illuminates the spirits of his ser­vants, and furnishes with doctrine suited to the states of those visited. We took divers turns in the country, to visit quarterly, month­ly, and particular meetings, and had good service for the Lord therein; but in the meet­ings in Philadelphia were frequently bound in spirit, being made to preach silence by exam­ple; which I believe had its use, by instructing the people not to depend on instrumental ministry.

Towards the latter end of the winter, my dear companion became very much indisposed, and continued so for several months; in which time she was frequently prevented from attend­ing meetings, and sometimes confined to her [Page 141] room. I gave her the strictest attendance I was capable, insomuch that with other exercises attending, my health was greatly affected, and my spirits sunk to a degree of dejection I had never before known: nevertheless I was so favoured as to be alive, and to be at times strong, in my ministerial service, to the very conclusion of our stay in the country.

And now, as it was our lots in the wise direction of Providence, to be in the providence of Pennsylvania, at a time when the minds of Friends were more than commonly exercised, on account of publick or political affairs; by reason of the French making incroachments on some of the British colonies; and some of the Indian tribes having committed great outrages on their frontiers, and murdered many of the back inhabitants; the conduct of us who were concerned to labour for the support of our peaceable Christian testimony, was harsh­ly censured by the unthinking multitude; and by such of our own society as were one with them in spirit; who insinuated that we intrud­ed into matters foreign to our proper business, and were in part the cause of the continuation of the calamities which attended the provinces, through our testifying against the spirit of war, and advising Friends to support our Christian testimony faithfully, I think it not improper briefly to give some account of the share I had in concerns of this nature.

On my coming to Philadelphia in the Third month, 1755, I understood the assembly was [Page 142] about to sit; and the major part of its members being then under the profession of Truth, on considering how difficult it would be for such, to maintain our Christian testimony, and to act consistently with what the people at large thought was for the good of the province; I was induced to propose, a few weighty friends having a religious opportunity with such mem­bers of the assembly, as made profession with us; wherein, perhaps, Truth might open counsels suitable to the occasion, and our sym­pathy with such as were concerned to main­tain its testimony might be manifested.

This meeting with the concurrence of Friends, such an opportunity was obtained, and I had the privilege of being at it; and therein was concerned to testify against that spirit, which from human considerations was for war, and to strengthen the minds of Friends against leaning thereto. Divers times during those troubles, I was concerned publickly to assert the consistency of our peaceable princi­ple with the gospel dispensation; and once, if not oftener, to point out the consequence of Friends deviating therefrom, which was re­markably fulfilled before I left the country. This was no more than consistent with my office as a minister, and my commission to that country, which was to preach Truth and Righteousness, and strengthen the hands of my brethren, against their opposers. Both myself and companion were so clear of im­properly intermeddling with the affairs of [Page 143] government, that we sometimes checked the torrent of conversation on that subject, either by silent or verbal reproof; and but seldom so much as read their newspapers.

During the time of the people's being in so great confusion and distress, on account of the Indian war, my mind was much exercised; but for several months, I know not that I could at all, even secretly, petition the Almighty for their relief, with any evidence of such a petition arising from the spring of Divine life. But a little before a stop was put to their de­predations, my spirit was almost continually clothed with intercession, that the Lord might be pleased to stay the sword; and in two pub­lick meetings I was concerned in like manner; and I did not hear that any mischief was done after that time, by any Indians who had occa­sioned that disturbance, and a cessation of arms ensued. I record this as an instance of Divine wisdom instructing his servants to ask what it is pleasing to him to grant; as well as restrain­ing them from petitioning for what might be exceeding desirable to themselves, before the proper time; and I believe that if ministers thus kept under the government of that spirit of wisdom, which giveth liberty in the appoint­ed season acceptably to approach the throne of divine Grace, it would be more self-evident that they asked in the name and spirit of Jesus, by their prayer being answered.

I think it worth remarking, that the ter­mination of this Indian war, was at last effect­ed [Page 144] by the peaceable interposition of Friends. An Indian chief, with other Indians in friend­ship with Pennsylvania, being occasionally in Philadelphia, Friends obtained leave of the governor to have a conference with them; in order to endeavour, through their interference to bring about an accommodation with the Indians now at war with the Bri­tish colonies. As we were admitted to attend this conference, I mention it. It evin­ces the veneration the Indians retained for the memory of William Penn, and for his pacific principles; and their great regard to Friends, whom they stiled his children. Several of their women sat in this conference, who, for fix­ed solidity, appeared to me like Roman ma­trons. They scarcely moved, much less spoke, during the time it was held; and there was a dignity in the behavour and countenance of one of them, that I cannot forget. I was in­formed that they admit their most respected women into their counsels.

And here I remark, that we were in Phila­delphia at the time when the first soldiers that had come there commissioned from the English government, arrived at that city; under the command of General Braddock. I said a cloud of darkness came with them. The Lord had settled this colony by peacea­ble means, he had hitherto protected it by his own Almighty arm and it prospered greatly; but henceforward disunion and dis­turbance prevailed and increased in it. Our [Page 145] friend Samuel Fothergill, as well as we, was strongly and affectionately engaged to promote peace, and guard them against the event, which he feared would ensue, and which in time followed.

Our stay in this country was considerably longer than usual for friends who visit it from Europe; which was much in the cross to our natural inclination, but quite in the unity of the sensible body of Friends; who saw that we were industriously engaged in the service to which Truth had called us: and whatever some loose spirits might suggest respecting our long absence from home, I have this testimo­ny in my conscience, that since I have been engaged in the solemn service of the ministry, I have ever endeavoured to accomplish the duties assigned me, in as short time as I could; being desirous that I might not afford occa­sion of censure to such, as being unacquaint­ed with the humbling weight of this service, may conclude that we travel for pleasure, or to gratify a roving or curious disposition; as well as that I might spend the spare time af­forded me in the exercise of my duty in my own family; and examining the state of my mind; which, after returning from journies of this kind, as well as in going along, should be necessarily attended to: and may I never be a servant whom Divine wisdom has made a keeper of his vineyard, but who neglects the culture of his own heart.

[Page 146]My companion's service through the conti­nent principally bended towards Friends, yet was she at times clearly and livingly opened to others; but my concern was mostly more general; although in the provinces of Penn­sylvania and the Jerseys, wherein our Christi­an principles were pretty much known, it was more particularly directed to my fellow mem­bers in society; who had perhaps been the less laboured with by ministers visiting them, on account of meetings often being much mixed with other professors. As we spent so much time in Philadelphia before we left the continent, I had many times been much en­larged in the service appointed me, both to Friends and others; and my companion, whom as a minister I preferred to myself, had extraordinary service; but as is before hinted, her bodily weakness prevented her attending meetings some of the latter part of the time we spent in it. I may say without boasting, that we were endeared to the weighty body of Friends in that city, as well as in the other parts of the continent, and they were so to us. And after having laboured among them more than two years and seven months, we took a solemn leave in the love of the gospel, of those present in a large quarterly meeting held at Phialadelphia, and left the city on the 5th of the Sixth month, 1756. We were accom­panied by many Friends to Chester, and were there Divinely favoured together the next day, when we went on board a snow bound [Page 147] for Dublin, in company with our dear friend Samuel Fothergill, who was returning from his religious visit to Friends in America, and Abraham Farrington, who was going on one to Friends in Europe.

There were passengers in the same vessel with us, Samuel Emlen, a friend of Philadel­phia, and two other young men friends, who were going to England by way of Ireland. We had a very quick but stormy passage; being on board only thirty-four days, and but twenty-six of them out of sight of land. The sailors accounted it a very fine passage, but we suffered very much in it, through the boisterous winds, and their consequences. The wind being right aft, the water frequently dashed over into our cabin, although our ^* dead-lights were mostly kept up; and it run much under my bed, so as to render my lodging very uncomfortable; and, being sea­sick and otherwise indisposed, I was at times sunk very low, yet the hand of the Lord was near to sustain and comfort me. Notwithstand­ing the stormy weather, we had several blessed meetings on the voyage, at some of which the master and sailors were present, unto whom Divine goodness was pleased to open suitable instruction. England was now at war with France, and by the account of some fishermen who came on board us in the Irish Chan­nel, we narrowly escaped being taken prison­ers, [Page 148] as two privateers were seen in the Chan­nel, at the very time we should probably have met them, had we not for some hours been forced back by a strong contrary wind, the only one we had during the voyage, which appeared signally providential for us.

We lodged in Dublin at the house of our friend Samuel Judd (who was uncle to my companion), which was formerly the habita­tion of my very worthy aunt, Sarah Baker, whose services in the ministry, when resident in this city, had endeared her to Friends, and her name was precious to those of the pre­sent day.

The 10th of the Seventh month, we land­ed at Dublin; and the 25th after taking an affectionate leave of my dear companion and friends, Samuel Fothergill and I took ship­ping for England, and landed at Holyhead in Wales the 27th. Here we bought horses, and reached Chester the 29th, where my friend Samuel Fothergill left me, and whence, ac­companied by a young man, a friend, I got home the 31st. I was affectionately received by my dear mother, brother and sister, who united in thankful acknowledgments of the Lord's mercy, in restoring me to them and my native land. I travelled 155 miles from Holyhead in four days; and had been absent from my mother's house three years, and up­wards of one month.

I had noted having travelled upon the continent and islands, upwards of 8750 miles [Page 149] (my companion not so much). When I compare the fatigues, and the various incon­veniences and hardships I sustained, with my natural constitution, I cannot but admire, that I did not entirely sink under them: and, on considering the dangers attending the journey, which were too numerous for me to particu­larize in the foregoing account of it, I must thankfully acknowledge that the preserving sustaining hand of my heavenly Father, was signally extended for my help and salvation. May the humbling sense of his mercies and tender care, by me unmerited, rest weightily and lastingly upon my spirit.

CHAP. V.

THROUGH my late long and great bodily fatigues, my constitution was so shaken, that a season of rest appeared desira­ble, and I rather expected it some time before I returned home; but the Lord was pleased to order it otherwise, I hope to his own ho­nour and my preservation: for before and quickly after my arrival in England, divers prospects of duty opened, which appeared likely to engage me for more than a year; and which I was favoured to accomplish in the fol­lowing order.

In about two weeks after my return, I at­tended our quarterly meeting, where I was met by many of my dear friends, who re­joiced to see me, and we were measurably fa­voured together in the Divine presence. Quickly after this I went to the circular yearly meeting for the seven western counties, which was held this year at Warwick: it was large, and attended with holy solemnity. My dear friend Samuel Fothergill and myself had the principal share in the publick service, wherein the Lord favoured us; to whom be the praise of all his works now and for ever. [Page 151] This being the usual time of harvest, with a prospect of the plentiful crops of grain being much injured by the heavy rains, Samuel Fo­thergill in one of his testimonies noted it, as a threatened judgment from Him who openeth the flood-gates of heaven or stayeth them, to the effecting of his own righteous purposes. The rains continuing long, so much grain was spoiled or damaged, as to occasion an extreme scarcity before the next harvest.

A few weeks after my return from this meeting, I went into Herefordshire, to visit my sister Young and her family. I there found my mind engaged to visit the meetings of Friends in that county, which I did, except one of them, and returned home by way of Worcester. Here it appeared right for me to get an opportunity with some of the most ex­perienced friends of that city; that we might together consider about setting forward the good work of visiting the families of Friends in this county: of which I had a view before I reached home from Ireland; and when I came there, I found that a general visit to Friends' families throughout the nation had been recommended by the last yearly meeting at London. I therefore found freedom to offer myself to assist in that service, provided the same could be accomplished so as not to inter­fere with my other prospects of duty. I also recommended to the friends present, the estab­lishment of a meeting for ministers and elders in the quarterly meeting for this county. We [Page 152] were eminently favoured in this opportunity, and I left the city in peace, and with a hope of some conclusion being come to at our next quarterly meeting.

I staid at home a few weeks, being closely engaged in writing. The 22d of the Eleventh month, I went to Worcester to attend our quarterly meeting, under a weighty exercise of spirit, having an intention, if Friends should accede to the aforesaid proposition of visiting families, to stay and join them therein. Our quarterly meeting was attended, in a good de­gree, with the Divine presence, yet the ser­vice of it was hard and laborious. Friends were backward in regard to giving in their names to enter upon the visit to families, con­cluding themselves unfit for so weighty a work; however some were nominated, with whom I united, and concluded to stay, and see how Providence might favour the undertaking. I had some struggle betwixt affection to my na­tural parent, and the pursuit of the service be­fore me; my dear and aged mother being like­ly to be left without either of her daughters; my sister Ann being with my sister Young, whose children had the small-pox; but I was enabled to pursue my duty, and to commit her to the care of gracious Providence; whose regard I found by account from herself, she signally experienced in my absence, and en­couraged me to continue in the service. I began in great self-diffidence, and went through the families of Friends in the city; [Page 153] but the Lord was with me, and frequently clothed me with strength and wisdom suited to the occasion. I was considerably favoured whilst in the city in the exercise of my gift in the publick meetings of Friends, took leave of them in much love, and left it in peace and thankfulness.

The 19th of the Twelfth month, being ac­companied by Mary Oldbury, a young wo­man of Worcester, who had an acceptable gift in the ministry, I went to Pershore, a town wherein no member of our society resided; but Friends, having a meeting-house there, held a meeting quarterly, which was this day▪ It was large, but mostly composed of people of other societies. I sat about an hour and an half silent, in which season my spirit was sweetly composed, and resigned to wait the Lord's time to be put forth in service; where­in I was afterwards much favoured, the testimo­ny of Truth being exalted in its own authority. The people were very solid and attentive, and I left the town in peace, accompanied by the before-mentioned friend Mary Oldbury, to visit the families of Friends in Evesham and Shipston, which we were favoured to accom­plish to a good degree of satisfaction. We sat with Friends in a few of the meetings in Warwickshire, and so came to my own month­ly meeting of Chadwick, having visited almost all the families of Friends in the several towns which constitute it, which were four. I re­turned home in peace and thankfulness for [Page 154] the gracious assistance vouchsafed by Divine goodness, through this laborious service, the 24th of the First month 1757.

I staid about home until the latter end of the Third month, in which interval I was closely engaged in attending to services as they opened in that quarter, and preparing for those distant ones, which had been impressed upon my mind to be executed this summer; viz. the attending the yearly meeting for the four northern counties, and from that to the national meeting at Dublin; so to the yearly meeting at London, and the succeeding quar­terly meetings in Essex, Suffolk, and Norfolk; which are stiled yearly meetings, because at that quarter in the year, there are some ad­ditional meetings for worship held, which are generally large both of Friends and others; and after these meetings to visit the few friends remaining in Holland.

My dear friend Lucy Bradley, being en­gaged to visit Friends in Ireland, concluded to accompany me to Dublin. I met her at Stourbridge on the 23d of the Third month, and left her there for a few days with her re­lations, with an expectation that she would meet me the 27th. I took an affectionate leave of my dear mother and brother, and went, accompanied by my sister Ann to Wed­nesbury; a town at which a meeting was held quarterly, which happened to be on that day. Here I expected Lucy Bradley to meet me, and that we should from thence have pursued [Page 155] our journey together, but, being prevented from coming, through indisposition, she in­formed me that she hoped to be able to meet me in a few days. The meeting was large both of Friends and others, and divinely fa­voured; and after it I took leave of my sister and divers friends, and went that night to Rugeley in Staffordshire, and as I had for some time had a view of visiting the fa­milies of Friends in that county, who are not numerous, I entered upon that service the 28th, and visited such as were in that place with some satisfaction.

The 29th, I went to Stafford, at which place the quarterly meeting for the county was that day held, and I laid before Friends my concern for visiting the families, and had their concurrence therewith.

Here I met with my friend Samuel Emlen, who came passenger with me in the same ship from America to Ireland; in which nation he had travelled as companion to his aged coun­tryman Abraham Farrington, and had him­self appeared in the ministry in that nation, to the satisfaction of Friends. As he was in a weak, low state of mind, I was inclined to take him with me for a few days. Accord­ingly we left Stafford in company, and, hav­ing visited several Friends' families in the country, went to Uttoxeter; where we pro­ceeded in the same service. My companion Lucy Bradley came to me here, to our mu­tual comfort. We were favoured together [Page 156] with a blessed opportunity in the friend's fa­mily where we lodged; and after committing each other to the protection of Providence, we parted from Samuel Emlen and went to Leek; where we also visited the families of Friends, which we were favoured to finish the 8th of the Fourth month, I hope to the mutual satisfaction of ourselves, and of the friends of the county who accompanied us in that service.

During my engagement in this weighty work, I was surprised with the intelligence that my endeared friend and companion Mary Peisley was removed from mutability. She had been married but three days to Samuel Neale, a Friend of Ireland, and went off with a few hours indisposition; being doubtless removed from the prospect of a settlement on earth, to a glorious eternal inheritance; for which she appeared more visibly prepared than many others of the Lord's servants. We had been companions together in many probations, and our union in the Truth was strong, so that her death affected me deeply, the more so from being attended with so singular a circum­stance; yet was my spirit thankful that she was taken at an hour when her crown shone brightly. She had been a great example to me in divers respects, and I begged to be assisted to follow her, as she had followed Christ.

The 9th we went to Warrington, where a renewed occasion of thankfulness to gracious [Page 157] Providence was administered, by the probabi­lity of the recovery of our dear friend Samu­el Fothergill, from an indisposition wherein his life had been despaired of. This had much affected my mind, from the consideration of the great loss the church would sustain by his removal, and myself as an individual member thereof; yet durst I not ask his longer conti­nuance in this state of trials and dangers, knowing that if Divine wisdom called him out of it now, it would certainly be in the best time.

From Warrington we went, through divers meetings in Lancashire, to the quarterly meet­ing at Lancaster, which was signally favoured with the manifestation of Divine regard thro' the ministry. I remember, before the publick meeting, I was sunk so low, that I scarcely ex­pected ever more to be set at liberty in the ex­ercise of my gift as heretofore; yet could not see what I had done to occasion a loss therein; but in the meeting I was as remarkably raised. Thus are the poor instruments abased and ho­noured for their own preservation, and the good of the church; the one dispensation be­ing as a ballast for the other.

The 26th, we went, in company with seve­ral friends, towards Penrith, where the year­ly meeting for the four northern counties was to be held. In our way we called upon that truly honourable mother in Israel, Grace Chambers, who was very ancient and had been long indisposed, with whom we were [Page 158] favoured with a refreshing opportunity. How encouraging is it to young travellers to behold and consider such examples of perseverance! It baffles the efforts of the adversary to per­suade that it is impossible to hold out to the end; and raises this language in the soul, Lord, let my life and latter end be like theirs. At Penrith we met my beloved friend Abra­ham Farrington, another of these ancient worthies, and we mutually rejoiced to see each other.

The yearly meeting was large both of Friends and people of other societies. My spirit was bowed before the Almighty, that I might be preserved acting in my proper place in the course of my service therein, and that my conduct might be unblamable; and, through mercy, I had humbling cause of thank­fulness administered in the close thereof, to Him who had exalted his own name and tes­timony through so weak an instrument, unto whom be the praise now and for ever, saith my soul! Although this meeting was attended by several able ministers of the male sex, it pleased the wise Master of the solemnity to employ them but little, and to lay the weight of the service upon the females; who, though the weaker vessels by nature, are at times ren­dered strong through his Divine power: and our brethren rejoiced that it was apparently so, through the course of these meetings.

The exercise of my mind while at Penrith, was added to by the prospect of my concern [Page 159] for visiting some parts of Holland; for al­though before I left home I was resigned thereto, and had imparted it to my relations, as well as to Friends of the monthly meeting, that they might consider respecting granting me a certificate; yet now on its near ap­proach, my want of the language, the va­rious notions in religion which I knew pre­vailed amongst that people, my sex, and, for ought I knew, the being exposed to much hardship, revolved in my mind; and, being opposed to my little strength, depressed my spirits, yet not so as to cause me to turn from the prospect, or prevent my wrestling with the Almighty for wisdom and strength, to know and do his will.

After the yearly meeting at Penrith, we went to Cockermouth, and there attended a large general meeting. My concern for Hol­land continuing, and not expecting to be at home in time to attend our monthly meeting, I wrote to my brother to procure a certificate for the accomplishment thereof.

The 3d, we went on board a vessel bound from Whitehaven to Dublin, and arrived at that city the 5th, having been favoured with fine weather on our passage; but my spirit was much stripped of a sense of divine good, and as I drew near the city it became de­pressed; in which state I landed, and proceed­ed to my lodgings, which was at Samuel Judd's. At my entering his house, the re­membrance of dear Mary Peisley affecting­ly [Page 160] occurred. It was in this house that we se­parated in our return from America; and therein we had spent many precious hours, in sweet union of spirit. The national meeting began the 7th and continued till the 12th. It was a season of close engagement and hard labour, both in the meetings for worship and discipline; but I was favoured in it with the unity of the living members of the Society, and the helping hand of the Almighty; and in the close, was humbly bowed before him under a sense of his goodness, variously mani­fested in sustaining my weak body under such laborious exercises, and strengthening me spi­ritually to testify boldly against the sins of the people: which although it might expose me to their censure, yielded to my soul the peace­able fruits of righteousness.

After the conclusion of the national meet­ing, I requested a friend to go and take my passage, saying, I must get to our quarterly meeting; on which a friend present said, I spoke as if I had the wind at command. I re­plied, that, if the Lord appointed my being there, he would dispose the wind to favour it, which happened accordingly.

The 14th, I parted from my dear compani­on L. Bradley in much affection, and quietly went on board a vessel bound for Parkgate, accompanied by my friends Abraham Shack­elton, Thomas Greer, and Joseph Inman, who were going to the yearly meeting at Lon­don. We landed at our designed port the [Page 161] 15th, and reached Stourbridge on the 17th, where the quarterly meeting for Worcester­shire was to be held; and the meeting for ministers and elders began soon after we came there.

Here I was met by my dear mother and brother, to our mutual rejoicing; and my heart was deeply affected with love and grati­tude, under the consideration of the many mercies extended to me; and strong desires were raised to be enabled so to persevere, as to be favoured with the continuance thereof.

We had a good meeting, and many Friends who attended it rejoiced to see me returned in safety, and, after taking an affectionate leave of them, I went home.

CHAP. VI.

I STAID but a few days with my relations, but set forward, with my dear brother and the before-mentioned Friends from Ireland, for the yearly meeting at London. In our way thereto we met our friends Samuel Fo­thergill and Abraham Farrington, unto whom I imparted my view of visiting Friends in Holland, wherein they sympathized with me. At London I laid my concern before the meet­ing for ministers and elders; and it met the approbation of my friends, and a suitable companion was prepared for me by my good Master, namely, Sophia Hume, of London.

It is worthy remarking, that when this journey was first presented to my mind, this friend was pointed out as a companion there­in; yet had I not freedom to write, or say any thing to her thereupon until I had thus proposed it, for the consideration of Friends; when I found that kind Providence had cared for me, as she had for some time found her mind engaged to hold herself in readiness to accompany some friend on a journey, though [Page 163] she knew not whom nor whereto, but on my mentioning my concern, saw both. John Ken­dal, a Friend of Colchester, who could speak Dutch, was engaged in love to accompany us. Thus does the Lord mercifully provide all things necessary for such of his servants as are freely given up to run on his errands, and move simply by his directions.

The yearly meeting at London was oversha­dowed with the wing of Divine love. I had some satisfactory service therein; and on the 7th of the Sixth month I went to Plaistow to visit my dear and ancient friend John Hay­ward; and here I parted in much affection with my dear brother, and with Samuel and Ann Fothergill.

The 9th, I went to Chelmsford, where I staid until the 12th, being in want of a little rest. Here my companion Sophia Hume came to me, and we went together, with Abraham Farrington, to the before-mentioned quarter­ly meetings held at Colchester, Woodbridge, and Norwich; in all of which I was labori­ously exercised, and the hand of my heavenly Father was with me; through which I was made strong in his cause, and I hope the meet­ings ended to the honour of his worthy name. Under a sense thereof my spirit bowed in thankfulness to him who clothes with strength for the battle, and by his own right arm gets himself the victory: unto whose service may my soul be bound for ever!

[Page 164]We staid about three weeks in Norwich, in which city there is a large body of Friends, unto whom a powerful visitation of Divine love had latterly been extended; through the prevalence whereof divers natural members, or branches of our own society, had in a good degree submitted to the simplicity of the cross; and others had been gathered to the immedi­ate teachings of the Shepherd of Israel from other religious societies. Several had appear­ed in publick testimony, for whom in an espe­cial manner our spirits were exercised, that they might honour God in their respective callings, by an exemplary conversation and a living ministry. I had much service amongst them in the openings of Divine wisdom and love, wherein some of the dangers which at­tended them were pointed out. I was also con­cerned closely to reprove such as had sustained loss in the Truth, by letting out their minds after terrestrial enjoyments, and were seeking great things to themselves, whereby the Lord's work in them was marred.

From Norwich we went to Harwich, and on the 21st of the Seventh month, 1757, ac­companied by John Kendal, went on board the packet bound for Helvoetsluys, where we landed the next day. There we took a car­riage and went to the Briel, a pretty large town; but I did not find that ever any of our society resided therein, and the people seemed very ignorant respecting us: for as we walked the streets, offence was taken at our friend [Page 165] John Kendal for not returning the customary salutation of putting off the hat in the same manner.

My spirit was very low on my arrival in this country, on account of the difficulty I la­boured under for want of knowing the lan­guage. Could either myself or my companion have spoken Dutch, we might have explained to the man, who was an officer in the army, our reasons for not returning his civility, for such it appeared to be; and he was very much irri­tated at John Kendal's not noting it as such.

From the Briel we went in a boat to Rot­terdam, which is a large city, wherein there was formerly a meeting of Friends, and where still remains a meeting-house, and there are a few who were educated among us; but they had so little regard to the testimony of Truth and the welfare of their souls, as entirely to neglect assembling to worship the Almighty; yet were not content to profess with any other people. We had no inclination to call upon any of these; but having informa­tion that the meeting-house was under the care of persons who were the descendants of friends, we called at their house, and desired that the meeting-house might be got in readiness for us to have a meeting there at our return, which one of them promised it should be. He behaved civilly, but appeared very dis­tant from the profession of his ancestors. These persons were great tradesmen, had be­come rich, and much in the grandeur of this [Page 166] world, and were now of the society of the Menists or Baptists.

The next day we went in the trackscuyts, by way of Delft and Leyden (in neither of which cities are any under our name), to Har­lem, where lived the person who used to in­terpret for Friends from England: upon whom we called, but found him so enfeebled, as to be entirely unfit for that service. Here we were met by Sophia Vander Werf and her son John, from Amsterdam. She was a wo­man of a sweet natural disposition, came amongst Friends by convincement, and had received a gift in the ministry, in the exercise of which I believe she was acceptable to Friends. The young man had resided a considerable time in England; he spoke English well for a Dutchman, and I looked towards him for an interpreter; but although he appeared to have a sense of Truth, I feared his being deep enough in the experimental work of it for that service: so I said nothing to him, and proceeded to Amsterdam under some dis­couragement. In this city a lodging was pro­vided for us by Friends at the house of A­braham Herman, which appeared the most suitable place for our reception of any belong­ing to them. He with his wife received us kindly, and treated us so whilst we staid with them. It was Seventh-day evening when we came to Amsterdam, and before John Van­der Werf left us, I asked him whether he was willing to assist us as an interpreter; but he [Page 167] modestly declined, pleading his unfitness for the service. John Kendal also refused, on account of his deficiency in the language to interpret in a publick meeting, although he could speak Dutch in the common course of conversation. Under these discouraging cir­cumstances I went to bed, beseeching the Al­mighty to lay a concern upon some one to assist me. when I rose in the morning, my spirit was low, yet not doubtful of my being right in coming into this country. In this state I went to meeting without any expectation of an interpreter being provided for me at that meeting; and therefore rather expected to be silent therein. The meeting was pretty large, but we were told, less than at some other times: for although there are but few pro­fessing the Truth in this city, it is customary for people of all religious societies, nations, and qualities, who come there on account of business or pleasure, to go to our meetings, most of them doubtless from the motive of curiosity; but the solidity of the countenance and de­meanour of some present, and the knowledge I afterwards had of them, convinced me that they were actuated by a better motive.

In the fore part of the meeting, my spirit was much exercised and broken under the con­sideration of having no interpreter; yet sup­ported in hope of the provision of Providence: for it appeared to me inconsistent with Divine wisdom and mercy to bring me hither, and not to open the way for me to convey his will [Page 168] to the people. After some time a Dutch friend bore a short testimony; and soon after he sat down, something arose in my mind, by way of information to the people respecting our motives for coming amongst them; and I was quickly favoured with strength to stand up, intending to say that I had something to communicate to them, which if any one pre­sent would interpret, I would impart, but I was not obliged to proceed thus far, for upon seeing me rise, John Vander Werf rose also, came and stood by me in the gallery, and in­terpreted what I said to the present relief of my spirit, and the satisfaction of such friends present as understood both Dutch and Eng­lish.

I found it so difficult to convey the doctrines of Truth in this way to the people, that it appeared almost impossible to get relief of mind, or liberty of expression, to that degree I had sometimes been favoured in my own tongue. I spoke a sentence, and stopped for the inter­preter to speak it after me; and I was thank­ful that kind Providence had so far answered my belief of his providing for me; and was comforted in the hope that his blessing, which alone maketh fruitful, might be dropt upon my weak endeavours for the exaltation of his Truth. The meeting ended in solemn sup­plication, in which exercise I had no interpre­ter, John Vander Werf being unwilling to undertake that awful service. Some present might understand English well enough to [Page 169] comprehend what I said; and others, I be­lieve, were sensible of the Divine power which overshadowed the meeting.

The afternoon meeting was neither so large, nor yet so satisfactory, as that of the morn­ing; which I thought might be occasioned by a fellow-minister withholding what Divine wis­dom required to distribute; whereby my ser­vice to the people appeared to be impeded, and, the life of truth being low, I said but little. I left the meeting under some dis­couragement, yet not without hope of being more at liberty before I left the city.

We staid in and about Amsterdam till the 5th of the Eighth month, in all which time we had no meeting but in the city; nor did it appear likely we should have many elsewhere in the country, by reason of my interpreter being clerk to a merchant, whose business did not admit of his being much absent, save on First-days. In this time we had several pret­ty good opportunities with Friends and the people; yet I seemed as an ambassador in bonds, but laboured to be content in the present dispensation. We were visited by several religious people, with some of whom I felt a degree of union in the Truth; but saw their loss in running after notions, and not settling in the ground of true silence, wherein the mind becomes established in rec­titude: and it appeared proper to set them an example therein; and to be cautious of running into religious discourse (to which [Page 170] they are much addicted), without feeling liber­ty for it in the Truth. We visited a religious Menist, and had some satisfactory service in his family. There are a number among that peo­ple who are near to Christ's kingdom, though not fully redeemed from inefficacious ceremo­nies, and a dependence on instrumental minis­try, or at least a fondness for it.

The 5th of the Eighth month, we went in the trackscuyts, as far as Horn, towards Twisk, our friend Sophia Vander Werf accompanying us. At Horn we called on two religious Menists; the one a preacher amongst them, who seemed more gathered into stillness than most of that persuasion, and his wife near the Truth; the other much inclined to dis­course on religious matters, in whose family I found an engagement to leave a short tes­timony to the benefit of silence, which they appeared to receive well. As we passed through the towns, we scattered some books setting forth our principles. A friend from Twisk met us here with a waggon, wherein we went home with him that evening.

At Twisk there is a small meeting of pro­fessors of Truth, but we found them much in the mixture, and some of them so exalted in notion, that it was hard fastening any solid doctrine upon them. We were at two meet­ings with them, and several of the Menists; both of which were exercising, that in the morning particularly so; but I was comforted with an evidence that my service, weak and [Page 171] imperfect as it appeared to me, was accepted of Him who employed me. The afternoon-meeting was more satisfactory, although labo­rious. The Menist preacher before-mention­ed, with his wife and son, were with us, in whose company we had a degree of satisfac­tion. The next morning we procured a select opportunity with most of the friends belong­ing to the meeting, at the house of a valuable woman friend, whose circumstances demanded our sympathy; she dwelling solitarily and having been many years confined through extreme weakness. She was such a pattern of resignation and cheerful innocence, as I had rarely seen. Her very countenance be­spoke acquiescence with the allotment of Pro­vidence, and not one complaining word dropt from her. This meeting tended to the relief of our spirits, and we took leave of the said friend and others in love, and returned to Amsterdam, again dispersing some books in our way; which was all we could do, as our interpreter could not stay with us to have meetings in the towns.

On our return to Amsterdam, we visited almost all who could be accounted members of our society, in their families, and attended the meetings on First and week-days, as they came in course, until the 21st: in which time I had several good opportunities with the people of that city, and the strangers who attended the meetings, and left it in peace.

[Page 172]One visit we paid in Amsterdam was so remarkable in its consequence, that I note it, viz. A man who was convinced of Truth, had a turbulent spirited wife; who had violently opposed his going amongst Friends; and af­ter one meeting which he attended with us, railed much; nevertheless, she sent us an in­vitation to sup with her, and it appeared best for us to accept it. She provided handsomely for us, but seemed to be in a wrangling spirit. She talked about dress being an indifferent matter; upon which I told her, that the a­dorning of Christian women, should be that of a ‘meek and quiet spirit, which in the sight of God was of great price.’ This struck and silenced her, and she afterwards behaved obligingly to us. After we had paid this vi­sit, her husband told us, that some time be­fore, as they were going to bed, she, being in a very bad temper, would not let him rest; and, although he was in bed before her, I think he arose again. She took up the Bible, I suppose, to convince him of his errors, and opened it upon this very text; which then so affected her, that she condemned herself, kneel­ed down to pray for forgiveness, and promised that she would never more treat him so im­properly; but she had not kept her promise, and the text being now revived in her remem­brance, it again affected her. We were quite ignorant of the circumstance.

The 21st, we had a meeting at Harlem to good satisfaction. We lodged at Isaac Van [Page 173] Westercappel's, who furnished us with a room to hold a meeting in, and gave notice of it to the people. He was descended from friends by the mother's side, but he himself never made profession with us. He was exceedingly kind to us, and, with his family, appeared to be seeking after the best things. In the evening we had the company of some seeking people, most of them of the offspring of friends, with whom we had conversation upon religious subjects.

In our publick meeting at this place, I was more at liberty in the exercise of my gift, than had been usual with me in Holland; at which I afterwards admired, being told that my interpreter was uncommonly defective in rendering what I said into Dutch. This cir­cumstance sometimes revolved in my remem­brance, accompanied with some kind of doubt respecting my being so much at liberty to speak, when what I delivered was not well interpreted to the people; but after some years, a friend of Norwich told me, that there was at that meeting a sensible man, a Jew, who understood the English tongue well, who told him that he had attended the meeting, and that my interpreter did not do me justice; but, continued he, ‘It was no matter, as all she said was directed to me:’ and my friend added, that it so affected him, that he believed he would freely interpret for me, should I ever want his assistance. This relation re­moved my before-mentioned doubt, for the [Page 174] word preached found its way to one mind, for which in Divine wisdom it was appoint­ed.

The 22d, we parted with my interpreter John Vander Werf for whom I was concern­ed, and sympathised with him, as he was left almost alone (in regard to Friends), and much exposed in the course of his business; and from the affability and sprightliness of his disposition, he appeared to be in much danger: but I conceived hope in the sense of the extendings of divine goodness being singu­larly towards him. We also took leave of our kind host J. Van Westercappel and several of his family and friends in love and tender­ness, and went to Rotterdam, whither his daughter Susanna Van Westercappel, a serious agreeable young woman, and our friend So­phia Vander Werf accompanied us. In our way, we distributed books to some people in the trackscuyts, and the same evening had a meeting at Rotterdam with some people who understood English, of which there are many in that place.

The 23d, our kind friends Sophia Vander Werf and Susanna Van Westercappel left us, and we went to the Briel, and thence, the 24th, to Helvoetsluys. In our way from Rotter­dam to this place we met with several persons who were going to England, with whom we had much discourse concerning our religious principles, I believe measurably to our mutual satisfaction. One of them was a Swede, a [Page 175] Lutheran by profession; he was favoured with a good understanding, and had a mind suscepti­ble of religious impressions; although his con­versation was not so uniformly exemplary as could have been desired.

On coming to Helvoetsluys, we found that the wind was against our sailing for England, and that the inn was full of company many of whom were waiting for their passage to England: so the landlord put us in a house which was ready furnished, and we became a family to ourselves, being furnished with pro­visions from the inn. The wind continuing contrary until the First-day of the week, and there being in the place many people of di­vers nations and stations who could speak English; with the concurrence and assistance of our landlord and company, we got our dining-room well seated; and on the First-day morning held a meeting in it, whereto the strangers pretty generally came. I was favoured to declare the Truth amongst them, to the relief of my own spirit, and I believe to the comfort and satisfaction of my compa­nions; but the labour was hard, through the unpreparedness of the hearts of some to re­ceive, and perhaps the want of a sufficient knowledge of the language in others, to un­derstand, the doctrines delivered.

The 29th in the evening, the wind turned in our favour, and continued so, until about the middle of the next day; but our captain would not put to sea without a pretty steady [Page 176] wind, because of the French privateers: how­ever, we went on board that day and set sail, and the wind being very boisterous our jib-sail was soon rent; and another packet boat go­ing out with us, struck upon the Pales, broke a hole in her side, and, as the passengers said, was in danger of being lost. The wind con­tinuing to blow hard and contrary, we soon came to an anchor, and the next morning re­turned back to Helvoetsluys; and the follow­ing day, the 1st of the Ninth month, we were favoured with a fair wind, and arrived at Harwich the 2d, in peace and thankfulness to the Almighty. I had to admire his good­ness, in thus preserving and supporting my body and mind by sea and land, and through all the exercises attendant on this journey, amongst a people of a strange language.

Even our detention at Helvoetsluys appear­ed to be in the ordering of Divine wisdom and mercy to the people there visited; and in our select company we had frequent opportunities of conversing upon edifying subjects; some of our companions seeming willing to gain infor­mation respecting Friends and their principles. Once the subject of self-defence was started, which they might probably think we could not invalidate; but we were enabled to give a reason for dissenting from them in sentiment, and on its being queried what we would do if attacked, and must either be killed, or kill. I said I could not say how I should act at such a juncture, wherein nature might be impro­perly [Page 177] raised; but that now being favoured with the hope of my immortal spirit's cen­tering safe, and knowing that a person who sought my life must be in an unfit state to en­ter Christ's holy kingdom, I should rather choose to die, than plunge that soul into ever­lasting misery; and should have greatly the advantage in being released from this state of trials. They heard with attention, and the Swede with tears in his eyes, replied, ‘These are indeed sublime sentiments.’

We had been so long detained at Hel­voetsluys, that our money grew short, but the captain said we should have what we wanted from him; however, we had enough to pay our passage, and bear our expenses (excepting the hire of our chaise) to Colchester: which we reached almost pennyless the 3d, and were affectionately received by John Kendal's mo­ther, and other friends. Here I drew a bill, and obtained money, and my companion, Sophia Hume, got enough to carry her to London.

After a short stay at Colchester, I went with my companion Sophia Hume to Kelvedon, where we were favoured with a comfortable meeting with Friends, and parting in much love, she went for London. She had been to me a steady, affectionate, sympathising com­panion; and although in this journey, not much engaged in publick ministry, she was very helpful in meetings, through a deep spi­ritual exercise; and being endowed with a [Page 178] good understanding, both naturally and spirit­ually, she was qualified to give an answer of "her faith and the hope that was in her:" and I was often thankful to the bounteous Author of all my mercies, for furnishing me with so suitable a companion.

From Kelvedon, I went without any com­panion, through several meetings, to Nor­wich, where I was favoured in the service ap­pointed me, but staid there only a few days; proceeding thence, through some meetings in Lincolnshire, to the quarterly meeting at York; where I again met with Abraham Farrington, who with many more of my friends, rejoiced at my being returned to my native land in peace and safety.

From York, I passed through several meet­ings in that county, wherein the Lord was pleased to vary the dispensations of his wis­dom, by dipping me into a state of great suf­fering; which I could not get above, but which I saw to be good, near the close of a journey wherein I had been so eminently fa­voured; as it tended to preserve me from clothing myself with the Lord's jewels, and humbled my spirit to the very dust. From Yorkshire I went to Manchester and War­rington, where I regained a little liberty in the Truth, and so proceeded to some meetings in Cheshire; in one of which I thought I was raised higher, in the Divine life, in the exer­cise of my gift, than I had been throughout the journey. Thus does Divine wisdom abuse [Page 179] and exalt at his pleasure, unto whom be glory, honour, and praise ascribed, now and for ever.

The 15th of the Tenth month, I got home, to the mutual satisfaction of myself and rela­tions; and, notwithstanding my great fatigue, in a rather better state of health than when I left it; and found my dear and aged mother well: and here I also met my dear friend Lu­cy Bradley, who was returning home from her visit to Friends in Ireland, and our rejoic­ing one in another was mutual.

The 17th, we went together to our month­ly meeting, wherein I gave to Friends some account of my service and satisfaction in this journey; and my spirit was much humbled in a sense of the providential care and abundant loving-kindness of a merciful God, variously displayed to this period of my life.

This winter I spent much about home, and amongst my relations: not in idleness, for I was very closely engaged either in attend­ing monthly or quarterly meetings, or other services.

CHAP. VII.

THE 6th of the Fourth month, 1758, I left home, to attend the yearly meet­ings of Wales, Bristol, and London; in all which, especially the two first, I was Divine­ly favoured; and returned home, in peace and thankfulness, in the Fifth month.

Towards the fall of the year, I attended our circular yearly meeting held at Kiddermin­ster, which was large and very satisfactory. After this meeting, being inclined to visit some provincial meetings, &c. in Ireland, I went with my dear friend Samuel Fothergill to Warrington, and thence proceeded to Liver­pool, in order to take shipping for Dublin; but finding no vessel there ready to sail, I sent to inquire whether any one was going from Parkgate; and the messenger returning, said there was one, but that she would sail the next tide, and that it was then too late to reach her. I was pretty earnest to try, but some friends, who I thought were acquaint­ed with the time of the tide's turning, dis­suaded me from attempting it. So I gave it [Page 181] up reluctantly, fearing I should lose the op­portunity of getting my passage in time for the meetings; and I afterwards heard that the tide did not turn till an hour after the time they said it would; so had I gone, I might probably have reached the vessel in time.

I waited at Liverpool more than a week, most of that time in almost constant expecta­tion of sailing, a vessel being soon ready to sail, but the wind was contrary. At length I went on board, and we set sail with a fair wind, but it quickly turned against us, and we lay all night at anchor in a small harbour called Hoylake. The wind blew hard, and I esteemed it a singular favour that our captain was persuaded to lay at anchor; for we might have been in imminent danger of perishing among the sand-banks, had he stood out to sea; which I had some reason to believe he would have done, had I not been on board; for I being set to a day in getting to Dublin, in order to attend the province-meetings, had requested him, if there were not a probabili­ty of our making our passage in time, to set me on shore somewhere in Great Britain; which he promised to do if he could. The vessel being small and very full of passengers, who in the night crowded into the cabin, it was so extremely close, that I was much af­flicted both in body and mind: under which I sought for Divine direction respecting pro­ceeding [Page 182] forward in the vessel should the wind prove favourable in the morning.

I thought I felt my mind turned to the shore, and released from the weight of the journey, at least for the present; therefore when it was light, I desired the captain to endeavour to put me on shore, and he accordingly hung out a flag for a boat to come and take me; but none came, and as the wind was again shifted in their favour, and it appeared hazard­ous to send the ship's boat with me, lest she should not return time enough for her sailing, I feared I must stay with them; but unex­pectedly the captain offered the boat and men, provided I would be left on the beach with my saddle and clothes, and let the men return to the vessel immediately; to which I agreed, and left the vessel, under the probability of her making her passage. A poor woman of Ireland who had no mind to proceed in her, went on shore with me, who, with her little girl, carried my saddle, &c. about half a mile, to a publick house, where I breakfasted, and got a man and horses to take me to Liver­pool. I proceeded pensively, lest I should have missed my way in leaving the vessel; yet I could commit my case to the Lord, who knew I had acted in simplicity. In our way we saw the vessel under sail, just turning out of the harbour on her course. When we reached Liverpool I was much fatigued, and low both in body and mind, having slept little in the night; but after some rest I attended [Page 183] the funeral of a child the same evening, and in the meeting the Lord so favoured, that my fears about leaving the vessel in a great degree vanished. After meeting I found that the wind was turned against her, and continued to blow very hard all that night; and the next morning the vessel came back to Liver­pool. I staid there the next day, and then return­ed to Warrington, and was at the meetings at Penketh and Warrington, the next day, and so proceeded home, taking in my way thither a meeting at Nantwich. Although I had been thus disappointed, I had reason to hope that my leaving home was not without some fruit to others as well as to myself; so that my soul had cause to bless the sacred name of Him, who sanctifies every trial to his chil­dren.

The day I staid at Liverpool, I penned the rough draught of an Epistle to friends in Ire­land, and after my return home transcribed and sent it.

My mind settled in quiet after this disap­pointment, but my body had suffered so much, that a little rest seemed necessary to repair my health; and I entertained a hope of being at and about home this winter; but Divine wisdom pointed out work for me elsewhere, and my mind was resigned to follow his direc­tions. I left home in the Twelfth month, and went to the quarterly meeting at War­wick, where through much painful labour of spirit, I was favoured to discharge the duty [Page 184] required of me, to the relief of my own spirit and the satisfaction of experienced friends. From that place I went, through several meet­ings in Oxfordshire and Northamptonshire, to the quarterly meeting at Northampton; and, turning back to the monthly meeting at Ban­bury, visited some other meetings in Oxford­shire, and attended the quarterly meeting held at Oxford. In all these services the sup­porting protecting arm of Divine goodness was near, whereby I was conducted in safe­ty; though not without considerable dan­ger from the badness of the roads. I had one very dangerous fall from my horse, but was mercifully preserved from any frac­ture.

The quarterly meeting at Oxford was at­tended by many of the students, who mostly behaved well, although the doctrine of Truth ran very close and pointed to them. That Divine power with which they were too much unacquainted, bound down their spirits. May it be praised for ever.

From Oxford, I passed through several meetings wherein Truth favoured, pretty directly for London; where I staid about five weeks visiting the meetings of Friends, and attending other services as I was favour­ed with strength. Sometimes, through a fear of exceeding, I apprehend I fell short of my commission, and a degree of suf­fering followed; which was however less painful to me, than what would have arisen [Page 185] from errors on the other hand. I laboured and suffered much in this city, and the state of my health was poor during my stay in it; but through infinite mercy I left it in the enjoyment of a good degree of peace, and re­turned home in the Second month, 1759, to the mutual rejoicing of myself and friends. My friend Ann Fothergill and several others accompanied me to some meetings in my way home, and took me in their carriages; whose affectionate care in my weak state of health, I commemorate with thankfulness to the ever­bounteous Author of all my mercies.

The day after I got home, my dear mother was taken ill, as was my brother a few days after, and the state of my own health was weak, and some peculiar exercises attended me. Some libertine spirits endeavoured to invalidate my character and service, for no other cause than what appeared to me to be my duty. This was an extremely trying sea­son, but I hope in the end it was profitable, and tended to establish my mind in a patient suffering of reproach, and to guard me with caution that I might not administer occasion for it to the adversaries of Truth.

I attended to services about home, as liberty and strength were afforded, and became better in my health: my mother also recovered bravely, but my brother continued in a very weak state. In the Fourth month I was obliged to leave him, and my dear mother, being drawn to attend the circular yearly [Page 186] meeting for the four northern counties, which was this year held at Stockport in Cheshire. It was very large, and signally attended with the humbling power of Truth; and the Lord was pleased to make use of me and several other of his servants: for which my soul worshipped before Him who humbleth and ex­alteth, and, in his unsearchable wisdom, doth all things well. I returned home, and found my dear mother and brother much in the same state as I left them.

In the Fifth month I again left home, in­tending to attend our quarterly meeting at Evesham, and so proceed to the yearly meeting at London. My brother was so much recovered as to accompany me to the quarterly meeting, from whence he intended to return home; but on our first day's journey he was taken very ill. This brought a fresh exercise upon me, under which I petitioned the Almighty that he would be pleased to direct me how to act for the re­lief of my own mind, and the discharge of that duty which I owed to an affectionate brother; on whose account I intreated, that if he might be relieved, the way for it might be pointed out. Under this exercise I proceeded to Evesham, my brother still accompanying me, though very weak. After the service of the quarterly meet­ing was over, my way opened to Worcester; whereto my brother was persuaded to accom­pany me, and to take the advice of a physician, who strongly pressed his going to Bath. Upon considering the urgency of his case, some of my [Page 187] friends with myself judged it best for him to proceed there directly, as returning home first would but weaken him the more: so I wrote an account of our determination to my dear mother and sister, who acquiesced therein. I also inform­ed my brother and sister Young of my afflicting situation, and requested that one of them would accompany him; and Providence so ordered it, that my sister came prepared for the journey the day after I sent for her. The next day, being the First of the week, we were favoured toge­ther by Divine goodness; and the following morning we parted in much affection, and they proceeded to Bath, and I was at liberty to pur­sue my journey. This had been to me an ex­tremely exercising season, from the great fear I was under of erring on either hand; but I re­cord it to the praise of Infinite goodness, who, in this critical juncture, directed me to act for the help of my dear brother; unto whom my en­deavours were signally blessed with success, the Bath waters being rendered serviceable to him.

From Worcester I went to Coventry; and in the way had a meeting at Henly in Arden, Warwickshire, in which place Friends have a meeting-house, but none of our society remain­ed. At Coventry, I met my friend Samuel Fothergill, who having been long indisposed, I was rejoiced to see that it appeared likely he would be again restored to the service of Truth. We went, together with many friends from the North of England, direct to London: where I was favoured with strength to attend [Page 188] pretty closely to the service of the yearly meeting, and had full satisfaction that I was there in the direction of Divine wisdom.

From London I went to the quarterly meet­ing at Colchester, and in my way there attended the First-day meeting at Coggeshall, which was large, and favoured with the Divine presence.

I left Colchester before the concluding meet­ing, being pressed in my mind to reach the quarterly meeting at Banbury in Oxfordshire, which, with very hard travelling, I accomplish­ed. I had some meetings in the way, and was comforted in administering a little relief to some poor souls who appeared ready to faint under their exercises. After the quarterly meeting at Banbury, I went to that at North­ampton, much in the cross to my own will, being very desirous to get home, considering the state of our family, and that my own health was affected with very hard travelling, ministerial labour, and exercise of mind. But I did not lose my reward, for I was favoured with strength sufficient for the service required, went from Northampton in much peace and thankfulness, and reached home in two days after: where I was gladly received by my dear aged mother and sister, but my brother was not yet returned from Bath. In the last fifteen days before I got home, I attended twenty-three meetings, besides other services, and travelled on horseback.

The concern I had for Ireland reviving, I left home in the Eighth month, and with very [Page 189] hard travelling was favoured to visit most of the meetings in that nation this fall, and re­turned to England soon after the half-year's meeting in the Eleventh month. A religious young woman, Sarah Christie, not in the mi­nistry, accompanied me through the greatest part of the journey in Ireland. I landed from Ireland at Whitehaven, and went through the meetings in some part of Cumberland, the Bishoprick of Durham, and the east side of Yorkshire; and turned to the quarterly meet­ing for Westmoreland in the First month 1760. The weather being extremely sharp this win­ter, and my health but poor through hard travelling, and taking cold, I suffered much in body; but gracious Providence supported and carried me through the service required, to the admiration of myself and others. The weakness of my constitution appeared inade­quate to so great a fatigue; but I experienced that hand which employed me, to be strength in weakness: salvation and power be ascribed thereto for ever!

In the beginning of the Fourth month my sister Ann was married to Thomas Summer­field, of Bloxham, Oxfordshire; and my bro­ther, who accompanied her to her new habita­tion, returned home very ill; yet I could not be easy to omit the attendance of the Welch year­ly meeting held this year at Oswestry, and my sister Young kindly staid with him and my mother in my absence. The meeting was very large; and I had good reason to believe I was [Page 190] there in the counsel of the Almighty. I re­turned home in little more than a week, where I found my brother yet unwell; nevertheless I thought it right to leave him again in a few days, being engaged to attend the yearly meetings of Bristol and London: which I did, taking some meetings in my way.

The yearly meeting at London was large and very satisfactory, except from some distur­bance which was given to Friends meetings by some disorderly persons not in unity with them. My strength in the discharge of my duty was mercifully renewed, and an enlarged­ness of heart experienced towards my brethren. I had left home through much difficulty, but was thankful that I had pressed through it; and on my return I had reason to believe that kind Providence had made up the loss of my company to my mother and brother; for I found her cheerful, and him in better health.

I came home in the Sixth month, and staid at or near it until the latter end of the Eighth, labouring as I found ability in the service of Truth, and endeavouring to discharge my duty in domestick cares: a greater weight whereof than heretofore rested upon me since my sister's marriage; through which, and my brother's continued indisposition, my way in leaving home was straitened; yet I know not that any clear manifestation of duty was omitted; al­though sometimes it was discharged with dif­ficulty.

[Page 191]My brother being somewhat better, I left home in order to visit Friends meetings in Der­byshire, some of the dales of Yorkshire, and part of Lancashire. I was favoured to ac­complish this journey in forty-eight days, tra­velling in that time about 700 miles, and at­tending fifty-two meetings, besides other ser­vices, often in Friends' families, by which hard labour my spirits were much exhausted, yet was not my health so impaired, but that I hoped with rest it might be restored.

In this journey I had some satisfactory ser­vice among people not professing with us; and some in towns where no meetings were held. At Bradford in Lancashire, some unthinking people and children disturbed our meeting al­most through the whole time of our holding it; but some sober inquiring people attended it, with whom we had reason to hope the tes­timony of Truth had place. After the meet­ing we had a satisfactory opportunity with some of them at the house of one that had lately joined Friends in that place. Some friends accompanied me in this service, viz. Jonathan Raine and his wife, of Crawshay Booth meeting, Matthew Meller of Man­chester, and several others; from whom I parted in gospel love.

On my return home the 16th of the Tenth month, I had the satisfaction to find my dear mother well, and my brother better than he had been. The night before I came there, I [Page 192] had a fall from my horse, but through mer­cy received no hurt.

The 17th of the Eleventh month, I set out to attend our quarterly meeting at Worcester, which was large and mercifully favoured with the Divine presence. From thence I went to Leo­minster to visit my sister Young and her family; and spent a few days with them and friends there profitably. In my way home, accompanied with several friends from Leominster, I had a large meeting at Ludlow, in which town there was only one that professed with us. Several so­ber people were amongst those who attended this meeting; and Divine goodness was pleased to favour with opening the Truths of the gospel unto them. I left the town that night, at which I was not quite easy, not knowing but if I had staid, some inquiring people might have sought an opportunity of conver­sation. I returned home the 27th, and found my mother tolerably well, on whose account, in this absence from her, I had been concern­ed, considering her advanced age.

In the Twelfth month, I went to the quar­terly meeting at Warwick, and thence to visit my sister in Oxfordshire; with whom I spent a few days, visited some meetings in the neigh­bourhood; and proceeded to Oxford. Many of the students and others not professing with us, came to the meeting; towards whom Di­vine Wisdom was pleased to manifest his re­gard, and some of them behaved soberly. It was the time of the quarterly meeting. In [Page 193] my return home, I attended at Long Compton the funeral of a religious young woman, with whom I had been acquainted. It proved a strengthening season in Divine love, which freely flowed towards the people.

From Long Compton I went to Chipping-Norton, Evesham, and Worcester, staid a few days amongst Friends there, and returned home through Evesham and Alcester.

I staid about home until the 21st of the Third month, 1761, when I went to the quar­terly meeting at Birmingham; which was com­fortable in a sense of the continued regard of heaven; but sorrowful in the apparent de­clension of some professing with us from the life of Truth.

From Birmingham I proceeded to the quar­terly meeting for Nottinghamshire, held at Mansfield, which was small, few friends resid­ing in that county. I laboured among them in love, and with strong desires for their help; and left them in a degree of peace, though not without a doubt of having been rather short in discharging my duty.

From Mansfield, I went to Chesterfield, and had a meeting there, to which came several from other meetings, and we were favoured together in the Divine presence. I then pro­ceeded through some meetings in Yorkshire, wherein I was strengthened to minister, I hope to the satisfaction and comfort of honest-hearted friends, and to the relief of my own spirit. I came to Lancaster the 9th of the Fourth [Page 194] month, in order to attend the quarterly meet­ing there. Thus far on the journey I had tra­velled very hard, and the day before I came to Lancaster, having met with a very danger­ous fall from my horse, whereby I hurt one of my arms, so that I was unable to help my­self, and was otherwise hurt, it was hard for me to travel; yet I was enabled to proceed forward the next afternoon in a chaise to Ken­dal; and, having attended the quarterly meet­ing there, proceeded to Appleby, to the year­ly meeting for the four northern counties, which began the 12th. I carried my arm in a sling, but in this time of weakness kind Pro­vidence furnished me with a suitable compani­on to assist me, viz. Christiana Hird of York­shire, of whose tender care, and affectionate services, I retain a grateful sense.

The yearly meeting at Appleby was attend­ed by many sober people from the adjacent country, as well as by a large number of the inhabitants of the town; and many of them were considerably affected by the testimony of Truth; whereto they had been strangers, and many of them had imbibed disagreeable senti­ments respecting Friends and their principles; but the Lord was pleased so to manifest his power amongst them, that their prejudices were removed, and a confession obtained to the truths which were freely preached among them; and Friends left the town rejoicing in the hea­venly Father's love and goodness, in thus fa­vouring us, and exalting the testimony of [Page 195] Truth, in a place wherein some of our wor­thy friends in the beginning of our being a people had suffered so deeply. [See Friends Sufferings by Joseph Besse.] The 15th, Sa­muel Fothergill and myself had a meeting at Kirby Steven, which was large and solid, many seeking people around the country at­tending it; and the Lord was pleased to cause the gospel trumpet to be sounded clearly and powerfully among them: glory be to his Name for ever!

I went, accompanied by Christiana Hird, with the friends from Wenslydale into that quarter; had a meeting at Haws, and the en­suing First-day attended the general meeting at Aysgarth, which was very large. A light set of people frequently attending on that time of the year: but the power of Truth was measurably over their spirits, and I left the place in a good degree of peace. I proceeded in visiting the meetings in this part of York­shire, and having a view of going almost di­rectly from that county, to the yearly meeting at London, and being desirous of getting clear of as many meetings therein as I could; I con­tinued to travel hard among the dales. But, my strength being much exhausted, and some painful effects of my late fall continuing, when I came to the house of my friend William Hird, at Woodhouse (father to my kind com­panion), I rested for a few days, and was treated with that tenderness which the state of my health required. From hence, I went [Page 196] to Gildersome meeting, where I parted from Christiana Hird, in love and sympathy; and went, through several meetings in Yorkshire, to Nottingham. I staid at Nottingham over First-day, and attended two meetings there. I was weak and much affected with a hoarse­ness, yet had some service amongst Friends there, though not fully to the relief of my mind.

I left Nottingham on the 2d day, and reach­ed London the 7th of the Fifth month. I was favoured with a good degree of peace, and thankfulness to that good Hand, which had hitherto conducted, and supported me in weakness.

The yearly meeting was large, and I hope profitable; although I did not think, in the general, that instrumental ministry rose so high, as it had done in some of those annual solem­nities: but friends were comforted in the im­mediate sense of the continuance of Divine favour, under which they separated; some perhaps, to meet no more in time. Our friend Joseph White, from America, having paid a religious visit to Friends in this nation, and being about to return home, had a certificate from Friends at this meeting of their unity with his services whilst here; and John Ste­phenson and Robert Proud being under an en­gagement of mind to visit Friends on the continent of America, had certificates for that end.

[Page 197]My spirit rejoiced that I was enabled to at­tend this meeting; and indeed I have seldom or ever attended the yearly meetings in London, without peculiar edification, although some­times sufferings from various causes have fallen to my lot: and I am persuaded that if Friends more generally gave themselves up to attend that solemnity; and when there, abode under the seasoning virtue of Truth, they would be better qualified to labour in their several stati­ons and places of residence: the weight of service devolving upon them there, would be brought home with them, and a more fervent care would remain for maintaining our Christian testimony in its various branches, and stretch­ing the line of discipline over such among us who walk disorderly.

The week after the yearly meeting I went to Plaistow, and rested a few days with my friend John Hayward; and, being a little re­cruited, I proceeded, though in diffidence and fear (being often low in body, as well as pres­sed with the weight of the service appointed me), to the yearly meetings of Colchester, Woodbridge, and Norwich: in all of which, through the strengthening hand of Divine mer­cy, I had good service.

From Norwich I passed, through some meetings in Lincolnshire and Yorkshire, to the quarterly meeting at York, which was at this time attended by many friends from the several quarters of it; and some friends under appointment from the yearly meeting at London, to visit the monthly [Page 198] and quarterly meetings of Friends, were there; and, I hope, were serviceable, in inquiring in­to the general state of Friends, exciting them to various duties, and endeavouring to strength­en the hedge of discipline.

From this meeting I proceeded, accompanied by Rachel Wilson and Margaret Raine, to Leeds and Bradford, and so to a large general meeting held annually in a barn at Bingley. It was in a good degree satisfactory, many gospel Truths being opened to the people; who be­haved soberly, and many of them seemed well affected towards Friends. After this meeting I proceeded towards the quarterly meeting at Lancaster, and from that place, accompanied by my friends Jonathan Raine and wife and Alex­ander Parkinson, I went to Turton near Bolton, where several young men and others were un­der convincement. Several friends met us here, and we had a favoured meeting with them and many of their neighbours; rejoicing in the hope, that the Shepherd of Israel would gather to him­self a people in that country. There are none under our name near them, which rendered the breaking forth of Truth amongst them a more signal instance of the immediate efficacy of its Divine power. May they be preserved humble, and dependent on that Hand, which alone can build up, and "establish on the most holy faith."

From Turton I went with my friend Jona­than Raine and wife to their house near Ros­sendale, and attended a large general meeting there the next day; and proceeded to Man­chester [Page 199] on Second-day, and had a meeting there that evening. On Third-day, accompanied by two men friends, I travelled hard; and in the evening we missed our way over a moor, which rendered it late in the night when we came to John Draycoat's in Derbyshire. I had a fall from my mare, through her missing her step upon a narrow causeway, but through mercy was preserved from hurt. Next day I had a meeting at Furnace, and afterwards rode to Burton upon Trent, and the ensuing day to Polesworth, in order to attend the marriage of my cousins John Wilkins and Elizabeth Ly­thall, which was solemnized at Badsley the next day, and we were favoured together with the Lord's presence: blessed be his holy name! The next day, being the 20th of the Seventh month I reached home, where I found my dear mother as well as could be expected for her age, but my brother yet poorly. I had now at several times visited Friends in York­shire pretty generally; and had considerable service amongst people not professing with them. After this journey my mind settled in peace and thankfulness, having to look back upon it with deep gratitude to the Divine hand, whereby I had been conducted, supported, and encouraged to press forward, although under considerable bodily weakness, and some fears on account of the situation of my dear mother, &c. But as my eye was pre­served single to the Lord's service, he cared for those I had left for his name's sake, and [Page 200] brought me home in a better state of health than I had left it, notwithstanding I had tra­velled and laboured exceedingly hard; having in fifteen weeks attended 117 meetings, and travelled about 1230 miles; nearly the whole on horseback.

The beginning of the Eighth month, I at­tended the Circular yearly meeting, which was held at Bromyard in Herefordshire. It was not so large, either of Friends or people of other societies, as of late years had been usual, nor did the life of Truth in the ministry rise to the height I have known it; yet, upon the whole, Friends had cause to be thankful for the opportunity.

From this meeting I went to spend a day or two with my dear sister Young at Leominster, which I esteemed a great favour, as it was the last time we spent together, except near her last moments. She was seized in the Tenth month following with an indisposition, which terminated in a violent inflammatory fever. Her husband was then in the west of England, in company with some friends, on a religious visit to the monthly and quarterly meetings of Friends in that part of the nation. A messenger being sent to inform us of her illness, I went to her; and was favoured to find her so sensible as to inform me that she was very easy in mind: soon after which she grew delirious, and her senses were never more quite clear; yet she once intimated that she was quiet, and hoped she had a quiet habitation.

[Page 201]She was a truly valuable woman, and doubt­less her spirit entered into rest. She died at the age of forty-five, after a life attended with various trials. The loss to her family, her other relations, friends, and neighbours, was great; and the sorrow for it amongst all who were acquainted with her was general: yet under a sense that our loss was her great gain, it was mixed with joy in the hearts of her nearest relations and friends.

She left three children, and her sorrowful and very affectionate husband; who, after he had information of her dangerous state, tra­velled hard to get home, but did not reach it until after her corps was interred. My bro­ther staid at Leominster until he came thither, and I returned home to my dear mother, and my sister's eldest daughter, who was then at Dudley, a thoughtful child of about eleven years of age, who had a very great affection for her mother. I found them full as well as I expected, considering my mother's great love for my sister, who had been an extraordinary child to her; steadily sympathizing with, and assisting her in her afflictions, when she had no other child that was so capable of doing it. But she was favoured with signal resignation to the Divine will, which is doubtless right in taking away, as well as in giving.

My spirits had been supported beyond my expectation through this trial, although my health appeared shaken by the fatigue attend­ing it; yet in less than two weeks, I set out [Page 202] for Bloxham to attend my sister Summerfield, who was now my only surviving sister. I at­tended Warwick meeting in my way; and in the evening appointed one for the neighbours, which was large, and crowned with Divine life and power, for which I was truly thankful. After about two weeks stay I went for London, having before I left home a certificate to visit Friends in that city. I had several meetings in my way thither amongst people not professing with us, to satisfaction.

I staid rather more than a month in London, and through diligent labour, and considerable travail of spirit, left it easy in mind, and re­turned home by my sister's.

The day I left her house the wind was very high. I rode double, and when we came to the high uninclosed field-lands, nearly upon a level with the summit of Edge hill, it was so extremely boisterous, that myself and the man who rode before me, concluded it safest to alight; which we did, under shelter of a short thorn-hedge, probably planted to afford shel­ter to sheep. We saw a village, but had to cross the field to it. The man held the horse by one hand, and I held by his other arm; but the wind was so violently strong, that he rather dragged than led me, for I stooped very low, being unable to stand against it. I think it rained also while we crossed the field. We got to a poor house of entertain­ment, the covering of a building belonging to which was stripped off a little before we came; [Page 203] and we staid in it, not without fear, until the violence of the wind abated; which it did in the afternoon, and we reached Eatington the same night. I think this was the wind of which it was said, that none had been so high since Eddystone light-house was blown down; and our getting through it without hurt ap­peared providential. It was a hurricane in the morning, yet it was tolerably calm in the evening.

I got home the 15th of the First month, 1762, in a better state of health than I left it, and was comforted to find our family tolerably well; and I had great cause for thankfulness, for the many mercies and preservations vouch­safed in this journey.

In the spring of this year I attended the northern and Welch yearly meetings; the first held at Bolton in Lancashire, and that for Wales at Bala in Merionethshire. That at Bolton was very large, and attended by many valuable ministers and friends, and a great number of sober inquiring people of other societies; amongst whom the gospel-trumpet was sounded in Divine authority, to the com­fort of faithful friends, and, I hope, to the instruction and awakening of many souls. In my way from Bolton to Bala, in company with my friend Samuel Fothergill, I attended the meeting at Chester on the First-day morning; whereto many soberly behaved people of the town came, and we were favoured with a com­fortable tendering opportunity together. From [Page 204] Chester we proceeded to Bala, in company with Isabella Middleton, a ministering friend from Ireland, and overtook Rachel Wilson and Christiana Hird, before we got thither.

The meeting at Bala was large, considering the part of the country it was held in: the people behaved soberly, and many of them were affected by the heart-tendering power of Truth. We had a comfortable opportunity with a few that came in love to bid us farewel; and left the place, in full assurance of the ex­tendings of Divine love to the inhabitants of this poor part of the nation, and thankfulness that we were accounted worthy to preach the gospel to them. I returned home by Coal­brookdale, and on the First-day was at a very large meeting at the New Dale, wherein the Lord's power was exalted: blessed be his name for ever!

I reached home the 4th of the Fifth month, and found my mother and brother well as usual, but my brother Henry (my father's son by a former wife) unwell, with a disorder in his right leg; which terminated in a mortification, and in something more than eight weeks his leg was taken off. Our affliction through this circumstance was considerable; for besides the care for his natural life, which was imminent­ly in danger, our concern for his immortal soul was great. For having addicted himself to pleasure and to the gratification of his natural appetites, he had lost the simplicity of his edu­cation; and, because he would indulge him­self [Page 205] in liberties which he knew were inconsistent with the profession of Truth, he threw it off; saying, he would not retain the name and be a reproach to the people. He sometimes went to the church of England, not, as he said, from principle, but because he would go some­where. When a youth, he was much hum­bled under the visitation of Divine love; but when he arrived to mature age, he was drawn aside by vain company.

In this affliction he was favoured with a re­newed visitation of heavenly favour; under which he lamented his loss and fall, and re­marked ‘that it had been through keeping company, and not that which is accounted the worst of company neither.’ He had a long time allowed him to repent, and in the fore part of his illness was penitent and much exercised in mind; but being flattered with the hopes of life after his leg was cut off, his thoughts appeared then to be too much occupi­ed with its prospects, although not without some proposition of a reformation of conduct, if his health should be restored.

In this situation I was obliged to leave him, being engaged to attend the Circular yearly meeting, which was held this year at Exeter. My sister supplied my place in the family, and I went pretty directly to it, attending the quar­terly meeting at Gloucester, and two other meetings, in my way, the Lord's power ac­companying me.

[Page 206]The meeting at Exeter was much less than some of the like kind had been; but was at­tended by some sober people, and by some high professors of religion, whose foundations were struck at in the power of Truth, the testimony whereof was measurably exalted. The state of the members of our own society was ministered to; in some instances it was la­mentable, and tended greatly to lessen the weight of the testimony of Truth, which had been at this time borne in the demonstration of its own spirit.

I proceeded from Exeter to the quarterly meeting in Somersetshire, which was eminently crowned with Divine favour; and I parted from Friends there in the comfortable sense of gospel fellowship, and returned to Bristol, having several large and satisfactory meetings in the way thither.

I spent a few days in Bristol, I hope profita­bly, having a renewed cause to believe that the Divine life was revived in some in that city, although too many had fallen asleep as in the lap of this world.

From Bristol I went to the quarterly meet­ing for Herefordshire, held at Ross, and so to Leominster; where I spent more than a week in my brother Young's family, not idly, but caring for it; and returned home to the mutu­al satisfaction of myself and my relations there.

I found my dear mother and brother tolera­bly well, and my poor brother Henry appear­ed in some respects better, yet at times so [Page 207] languid, that I doubted his continuing long in time. My fears proved well founded, for his deplorable disorder seized his other foot, and on the 15th of the Twelfth month, 1762, he died; having endured a long scene of inex­pressible pain and affliction. Agreeably to his own desire, his corps was interred in Friends' burying ground. He was endowed with a good understanding and an engaging natural disposition, and his person and manners were superior to many. He was in his fifty-seventh year.

I think it worthy commemoration, that some time before he was seized with the disorder which terminated his life, I had been earnestly solicitous that the Lord would bring him to a sense of his apostatized state before he was ta­ken out of time; and constrain him to con­demn that libertine spirit wherein he had so long indulged; that his associates might not have cause so to triumph as to invalidate the Christian testimonies. These my desires were signally answered.

CHAP. VIII.

FROM the occurrences related in the close of the foregoing Chapter, until after I entered into a marriage state, I made no mi­nutes of my religious labours, although I was as constantly engaged as heretofore, in attend­ing yearly and quarterly meetings, &c. in di­vers parts of the nation, visiting particular meetings of Friends, as well as appointing some for people of other societies; and in the winters, I mostly spent some time in London. Yet so few remarkable incidents occurred, that, my movements appeared scarcely worth noting; except that the Lord's hand was re­vealed for my help and preservation, through which I was enabled to sustain almost uninter­rupted, though varied, fatigue and exercise, both of body and mind. After my sister Ann's marriage, a load of domestick concerns devolv­ed upon me. Through my mother's very great age, and my brother's frequent indispo­sition, my times of respite from travelling and gospel-labours were far from being seasons of rest. A short time before I married, my left elbow was dislocated by a fall down stairs, and reduced with considerable difficulty. As that [Page 209] joint from my infancy had been weak, and had several times been hurt by falls from my horse, as is before related, it became from this time so weak, as to render my riding single impro­per, and riding double was rather dangerous, as I could not help myself on horse-back with­out my arm; I had therefore cause to be thankful that my expected new station would furnish me with a chaise.

For the fulfilling of every purpose of Divine wisdom there is a particular season; and al­though I married rather late in life, the con­nection from its beginning was attended with such singular circumstances, as marked its be­ing superior to nature, although nature had its share in it; and the restrictions laid upon my mind, and that of my beloved husband, were too remarkable to be omitted in the memoirs of the signally providential occurrences of my life.

I have already noted the meeting with Wil­liam Phillips in 1749, at Swansea, (see page 24). Before that time we were entire strangers to each other, I do not recollect that I had ever heard of him. My mind had been, and was un­der strong restrictions in regard to entering into the marriage state, should I be solicited thereto; for as it appeared that for a series of years I should be much engaged in travelling for the ser­vice of Truth, I feared to indulge thoughts of forming a connection, which, from its incum­brances, might tend to frustrate the inten­tion of Divine wisdom respecting me. This caution tended to keep me reserved in my con­duct, [Page 210] towards such as might be likely to enter­tain views beyond friendship, in their acquain­tance with me; and my mind, to the time of our meeting, had been so preserved, as never to ad­mit the least impression of affection beyond that sine, with any one.

William Phillips was then a widower, and had two young children. His worldly circum­stances I was unacquainted with, further than that I then learned the place of his residence, and somewhat of his business, which was, in part, that of an agent to a copper-company. He was considerably older than myself. So that none of these circumstances could of themselves make a connection with him desirable. For as to his employ, which might seem the least ex­ceptionable, it was less pleasing to me than would have been his being his own free man. It was therefore improbable that temporal consi­derations should bias my mind in his favour; and as to his religious experience, it appeared to be but in its infancy. He had indeed, a frank and open disposition, which, joined to a good understanding, rendered his conversation agree­able; but I had but little opportunity to judge of this, before it appeared that perhaps we might one day unite in the marriage covenant.

Upon observing him strictly, I had the satis­faction to see that his mind was susceptible of the best impressions, and bending out of the world, wherein, in some parts of his conduct, he had taken too great a part. His behaviour to me was prudently restricted, though he after­wards [Page 211] confessed that his mind was affectionately disposed towards me. We were favoured toge­ther, especially in one meeting, with the uniting influence of Divine love, but parted merely as common friends. Very soon after, a circum­stance happened, which, without the least design on either side, necessarily introduced a corres­pondence by letters between us; and we ex­changed several in restricted terms, suited to our situations.

In my next journey to the western counties, I had meetings in some towns where none were established, particularly at Redruth and Truro in Cornwall, at both of which William Phillips was very serviceable; and his spirit being dip­ped into sympathy with me in my service, and mine, with him under his religious exercises, it tended to strengthen the regard we had for each other; yet such was the restriction we were preserved under, that no sentiment trans­pired, nor was there any, the least part of his conduct, more than was consistent with a distin­guished friendship: and thus we again parted, and continued our religious correspondence. But my mind becoming doubtful whether I had such an evidence that our intimacy would ever rise higher than friendship, as to warrant my retaining the prospect of it; and ruminating upon the injurious consequences which might en­sue to us both, should our affections be engaged contrary to the Divine will; and that, perhaps, the continuing an intimacy with me might pre­vent his mind from settling upon some other [Page 212] person, who might be a suitable companion for him through life; and seeing clearly, that my religious prospects would not for a long time admit of my changing my situation; I conclud­ed it safest to relinquish our correspondence, and to leave the event of the foundation of affecti­on which was laid, to future time: hoping, that if Divine wisdom designed a nearer union be­twixt us, he would prepare my friend to be a suitable helpmate for me. My fear of erring on this occasion was proportioned to that superior love, which bound me to the service appointed me; in the pursuit whereof, I was desirous to relinquish every prospect and connection which might retard my fulfilling it: and I continued closely engaged in it for many years, and kept an entire distance from my friend.

In this time our minds became so released from each other, as to be at liberty to entertain other prospects of marriage; and but for the interpo­sition of a watchful Providence, we might each of us have been engaged to our hurt. But however promising the prospect might be to my mind, I never was favoured with true peace, in looking to a marriage connection with any other; and as to my friend, although he had en­tirely lost the hope of a nearer union with me, however thoughtful he might be respecting its being convenient for him to change his situati­on, he did not find freedom to propose it to any other woman. Thus we continued sepa­rated, and separately exercised; I in close ap­plication to publick service; and he in his [Page 213] worldly engagements, and under various temptations and conflicts, inwardly and out­wardly, which called for the sympathy of a friend; when none was afforded, save that of the never-failing Helper, by whose hand his head was sustained, and he witnessed preserva­tion even as from the ‘paw of the lion and bear.’

In the year 1766, I attended the Circular meeting, and visited most of the meetings of Friends in Cornwall. Previously to my taking that journey, I had an intimation in my mind, which seemed to point towards a revival of our intimacy. This happened at a time when I was quite free from impressions of natural af­fection towards W. Phillips; for I was deep­ly engaged in thoughtfulness respecting another friend, and humbly and earnestly desirous to be informed whether I might safely remove to the place of his residence.

Under this exercise, my mind was turned with uncommon force to Cornwall; and the name of the place where W. Phillips resided was revived with such strength, that it was as if vocally spoken in my soul. At the same time I was favoured with the sweet sensation of Divine love and life. And although the re­moving to this poor county afforded no pleasing view, I was willing to submit, if Divine wis­dom appointed it; but as to W. Phillips, I doubted his having advanced in religion, so as to render a nearer union with him safe; but I [Page 214] could only judge superficially, the exercised state of his mind being hid from me.

Hannah Shipley, of Uttoxeter in Stafford­shire, was my companion in this journey, whose affectionate attention to me, I remember with gratitude: her service also in the ministry was acceptable to friends.

When we came into Cornwall, I was cauti­ous of giving heed to the before-mentioned in­timation; and when I met W. Phillips, was desirous to be favoured with a sense of the state of his spirit; and was thankful to find it bend­ing towards the spring of Divine life, beyond my expectation. We were frequently toge­ther, while I was in the county; but never a­lone, so as at all to enter into conversation on the subject of our former correspondence, ex­cept when riding on the high road; when, one day, he mentioned the trial it was to him that I should so abruptly drop it; and said he had cautiously avoided a conduct which might give me umbrage; and added, that he had never admitted a sentiment of displeasure at me on the occasion, as he concluded that I had some reason for so doing, which was of suffici­ent weight to myself: but if my being in a single station were the cause, I needed not to have feared him, for although he loved me, hitherto his mind had been under a restriction from endeavouring to pass the bounds of friend­ship. This was saying more than he had ever done before; but during his being with me in [Page 215] this journey, his behaviour was strictly consist­ent with friendship only.

One circumstance I think worthy of relating, as it discovered both his sympathy with my re­ligious engagements, and how Divine wisdom works to the effecting his own purposes. Af­ter I left Plymouth, in my way into Cornwall, it appeared that I should have a meeting at Plymouth Dock in my return. This I inti­mated to a friend of Plymouth then with me, and desired him to inquire whether a proper place could be procured. This friend, and another from Plymouth, met me at the Circu­lar yearly meeting, which was held at Bodmin, at which also was W. Phillips.

They gave me no encouragement of getting a meeting at Dock; indeed it was looked up­on improbable that a place large enough for the people could be procured there; so they pro­posed that a meeting should be appointed at Friends meeting-house at Plymouth, and that the people of Dock should be invited thereto. This did not seem to promise relief to my mind; for besides the Dock's being three miles distant, the house might probably have been too small for the Plymouth people and them. My concern for the Dock continued, but I said little about it, except hinting it to my brother, who, with divers friends out of Worcestershire was at Bodmin. In the night before I left that place it pressed weightily upon my mind; but I could see no way to obtain a meeting, unless [Page 216] W. Phillips would accompany me; who I knew had resolution enough to assist in the un­dertaking. He designed going homeward the next day, and I was reluctant to propose his going with us to Plymouth; but desired, if my exercise for Dock was from the Lord, and it was right for him to assist me therein, that it might be impressed on his mind to go. Af­ter this, my spirit was relieved, and in the morning I heard W. Phillips say to the friends, I must go to Plymouth, giving as a reason, that he had an uncle there who was unwell. He afterwards told me, this was the only rea­son he could assign for his mind being forcibly drawn to Plymouth, which it was before he arose; and when at breakfast he heard me in­quiring whether a place could be procured at Dock to hold a meeting, he saw the cause of his being drawn to Plymouth, and im­mediately replied, There is no doubt of it. In our way to Plymouth, we had a large satisfactory meeting in the market-house at Liskeard. At Dock, my brother, friends from Worcestershire, and W. Phillips, obtain­ed a large school-room; which opened into a square. A window was taken out, and I stood in that, so as to speak to the people with­out; and the house being full within, I believe all might hear, though there was a great con­course of people. It was a favoured opportu­nity, at which the friends who accompanied me for the promoting of it were very serviceable; [Page 217] but had not W. Phillips assisted them, it did not appear probable that so large a meeting would have been procured, and held so quiet­ly: he was peculiarly fitted for such services.

After my return home, our correspondence by letter revived; but although it soon passed the bounds of mere friendship, our minds were clothed with awful caution of stepping forward without Divine direction. For some years we saw each other but seldom, and that only as we met in the course of my service; and not­withstanding a nearer union was from time to time pointed out, yet our way not opening clearly to the accomplishment of it, we did not marry until the 15th of Seventh month, 1772; when, in a large and solemn meeting held at Bewdley, we took each other in the real fear of the Lord, and therein had a strong evidence of his favour. Many of my friends from the adjacent meetings met us upon the occasion; unto whom my spirit was drawn forth in the best love; wherein, after we had taken each other in marriage, I was led to advise, cauti­on, and encourage them.

The parting from my dear mother had been an affecting circumstance, but it was a great sa­tisfaction to me, that, although her faculties were breaking, she was sensible I was removed from her in Divine wisdom. The morning I left her, she took a quiet steady farewel of me, and told me she was satisfied Providence had provided for me, unto whose will she was re­signed. As my brother proposed accompany­ing [Page 218] me home, my sister Sommerfield staid with our mother in his absence.

After our marriage at Bewdley, we proceed­ed on our way to my brother Young's at Le­ominster, where we staid some days, and then went to Swansea, my brother, and niece A. Young, accompanying us. In our way to Swansea, we had a meeting at Hereford, and another near Talgarth in Wales, where the Countess of Huntingdon had established a col­lege for the education of young men for the ministry. Some of them came to the meeting, and several behaved rather lightly; but one sought an opportunity with us afterwards, and freely expressed his uneasiness in his pre­sent situation, and desired to get amongst Friends. He requested my husband's assistance to procure him a suitable place; but though one pretty soon offered, and he was informed of it, he declined accepting it. Many are shaken by the power of Truth, but few are steadily concerned to build upon its foundation: and therefore it may with sorrow be said, "Many are called, but few chosen." We had also a meeting at Llandilo, which, though not very large, was satisfactory.

We staid at Swansea some weeks, the wind being contrary for our going down the Chan­nel. During our stay there, the First and week-day meetings were mostly large and fa­voured. A particular visitation of Truth was extended to some who had gone out from [Page 219] Friends by marriage and otherwise, who were affectionately entreated, and warned of their danger in trifling with the day of their visitati­on, which was hastening fast to a conclusion. Several of these were much affected, and two of them soon finished their course. I have ad­mired the mercy of God, even to the back­sliders and revolters from us; from few of whom the witness of Truth is so withdrawn, but that they will confess to it; and many to the latter stage of life are followed with close convictions, and tender calls to return to the heavenly Father's house, and yet continue in a country far remote from it: having so con­nected themselves with those who are in the spirit of this world, as to conclude it impossible to break loose from them. But, although through inattention to the holy principle of light and grace, they may have rendered their way very difficult, and mingled for themselves a bitter cup; yet if they would attend to that Divine love which draws them, they would experience its power to release their spirits from the power of Satan, and bring them into ‘the glorious liberty of the children of God.’

I visited the families of those professing Truth in Swansea; but the time for holding the Cir­cular meeting for the western counties ap­proaching, and it being to be held this year in Cornwall, my husband was earnest to get [Page 220] home. Another meeting, also, which was usual­ly very large, held annually near his habitation, engaged our attention; therefore, the wind not serving for us to go to Cornwall, we cross­ed the Channel to lifracomb in Devonshire, and through Divine favour landed safe, though not without some danger; and proceeded di­rectly home to Redruth. The First-day af­ter we reached it, we attended the before-men­tioned meeting at Key, at which it was sup­posed there were 1500 people: it was held without doors, and was a favoured opportuni­ty. The next week came on the Circular yearly meeting, which was held at Helston, was extremely large, and well attended by friends; and in divers meetings the testimony of Truth was exalted through several of the Lord's chosen servants. I was largely and livingly opened in his service, by him who alone can qualify for it: to whom I ever desire to ascribe the praise.

For some time after I came home, a pretty many serious people attended our meetings, and doctrine suitable to their states was opened; but most of them were too much under the in­fluence of human teachers to receive the Truth in its simplicity, and walk by its light. I quick­ly found a concern to appoint a meeting at the place called St. Agnes, a town on the north sea coast. Near this place the people were ad­dicted to the barbarous custom of plundering [Page 221] vessels wrecked upon the coast. Abundance of people collected, so that we were obliged to hold the meeting in the street, which was a re­markably quiet solemn opportunity. Many of the wreckers were supposed to be present, and I had to reprove the practice very closely; which might be supposed to have present effect, for the people exerted themselves to save the cargo of the next vessel that was wrecked.

In a few weeks after the Circular meeting, I went to the quarterly meeting for Devon­shire, held at Kingsbridge, and thence took a turn into the north of the county, accompanied by William Cookworthy and several other friends. We appointed meetings in several places where none were settled, in all of which, except at Great Torrington, we had good satisfaction; and there we had reason to con­clude that we appointed the meeting at too late an hour, through condescension to some who expressed a desire to attend it, and could not come sooner. It was First-day, and the even­ing coming on, a crowd of disorderly people impeded the service; and my mind was the more pained, because an earlier hour had been pointed to me for holding the meeting. We had a good meeting in the town-hall at Laun­ceston, after which William Cookworthy went homewards, and I to Wadebridge. I had a meeting there to satisfaction, and returned home, under the persuasion of having been engaged in the discharge of my duty, and as­sisted [Page 222] by Divine grace in the performance there­of.

I staid at and about home until near the time of the yearly meeting at Bristol, 1773, which I attended; and thence, accompanied by my dear friend Lydia Hawksworth, went to that in London. We visited the meeting of Friends in Hampshire in our way, and I returned into Cornwall to our quarterly meeting held at Looe in the Seventh month; where my hus­band met me, and we went together to that for Devonshire, held at Plymouth.

The annual meeting at Key was this year large and satisfactory; after which I went to visit my aged parent and other relations, and attend the Circular yearly meeting at Glou­cester. I visited the meetings of Friends, as I went along, who were truly glad to see me, and we were favoured together with the sweet influence of Divine love and life. The Cir­cular yearly meeting was very large both of Friends and other professors of religion, and was much favoured through the ministry. The select meeting for Friends was a memorable op­portunity. Plentiful are the showers of gos­pel rain which often fall upon these occasions; but in regard to many minds visited, it is like water spilled upon a stone, which, though it wet its surface, doth not change its nature; but in others, I hope it is like "Bread cast upon the waters," a very unstable element, yet it "may return after many days!"

[Page 223]From this meeting I returned home with my friend Sarah Tregelles. In my way I had two large meetings at South Molton to good satis­faction. There are none professing with us in that town; but some friends from Exeter ac­companied us, and others under convincement from the north of Devonshire met us here. I returned home to our quarterly meeting at Penzance, and was thankfully received by my dear husband, whose great affection rendered it hard for him to be so frequently separated from me, but in resignation to the Divine will he was favoured with peace.

In the First month 1774, I had a satisfac­tory meeting at Helston, in the town-hall. The weather was wet, and the seat whereon I sat was very damp, but on the evening after the meeting I did not find I had taken any cold. Next morning I was well as usual, but sud­denly, I found myself much indisposed, and was seized with convulsions in my head. This alarmed my husband, who called upon an apo­thecary, and I quickly got better, and we went home, where the disorder returned. In a few days however I appeared to be much better, but I quickly relapsed; and in a few weeks was reduced to a state of extreme weak­ness. My affliction in this time of indisposition was very great, but I was preserved in pati­ence, and when I revived a little, wrote as follows.

'I am now reviving from bodily weakness. O! that it may be with renewed strength to [Page 224] serve the bounteous Author of my being and blessings, who bringeth low and raiseth up in his wisdom and mercy. He knows when af­flictions are needful to his servants; and in this season of weakness, my soul has thankfully acknowledged his tender care, to prevent my spirit's settling with too great attention on ‘the things which are seen, and which are tem­poral.’ We often want to be awakened to seek with greater earnestness those ‘things which are eternal,’ viz. Righteousness, and its consequence, Divine favour; by being put in remembrance, that the time of our depar­ture hence may be at hand. "Blessed" in­deed ‘is that servant who, when his Lord cometh’ and calleth from works to rewards "he shall find watching:" and what great need is there to watch against the encroaching spirit of this world; whereby many quickened, enlightened minds have been benumbed and darkened; and their desires after the food which nourisheth up the soul unto everlasting life, weakened; until at length they have left the Lord's table, and fed with pleasure at the table of idols! The friendships of this world, which are enmity with God, have been de­lighted and gloried in, and its interests princi­pally sought.

These, though they may appear orderly in the view of men, are in danger of becoming as "trees twice dead;" they having been dead in a state of nature, and quickened by Divine grace. If these totally fall away from their [Page 225] spiritual exercise, how shall they be again re­newed? Alas! the judgment is determined; they must be plucked out of the Lord's plan­tation, wherein only living fruit-bearing trees can remain with acceptance.'

'In this time of weakness my spirit hath been renewedly visited, and my understanding opened in Divine love and light: and therefore it rests with me to commemorate it, as a fresh instance of the love of my heavenly Father; who, in all the dispensations of his wisdom to his children, seeks their being perfected in righteousness; that he may more and more bless them with his favour whilst here, and finally receive them into everlasting mansions of bliss.'

But although I grew so much better as to get about in the spring, my constitution still laboured under a heavy load, without hope of being entirely relieved; and I was therefore frequently led to pray for patience and resigna­tion to suffer in the way Divine wisdom might permit; and, under great weakness, was en­abled in a degree to come up in the service ap­pointed me, in our little meeting and about home. I was reduced so extremely low by this indisposition, as to be doubtful, whether I could have survived it, had I not been re­moved from my mother's family; as in that, considering her situation, and my brother's, it was unlikely I should have been so released from care, and so tenderly and affectionately [Page 226] attended to, as by my dear husband, and the assistance he procured for me.

In the Seventh month I left home in order to attend the Circular yearly meeting and once more visit my aged and honourable parent, who had several times expressed a desire to see me. My husband accompanied me to Torring­ton, where we had a meeting of friends scat­tered round in that neighbourhood. From Torrington he went to Appledore, and crossed the Channel into Wales, and I proceeded to Bristol; where, and in its neighbourhood, I staid until my husband's business admitted his coming to me; and thence we proceeded to Dudley, visiting the meetings of Stourbridge and Worcester in our way. I found my dear mother extremely weak, and her faculties so impaired that she did not know me; yet I thought she was sensible I was one for whom she had a great affection; and after seeing me several times she recollected me, and was much pleased with my company. After I had taken my leave of her, she said, 'Now I shall not be here long;' and so it proved, for she died in the following winter. [See a more particular account of her in the former part of these me­moirs.]

From Dudley we proceeded to the Circular yearly meeting held at Kington, Herefordshire, which, considering the country not being so populous as some others, and but few friends in the neighbourhood, was large, and for the most part satisfactory. I still continued in a [Page 227] weak state, yet was enabled to take a share in the service, Divine mercy strengthening be­yond my expectation. After this meeting we went to Bath, Dr. Fothergill having advised me to drink the waters.

In the spring of 1775 I visited some meet­ings in Devonshire, Somersetshire, and Dor­setshire, in my way to the yearly meeting at London. Lydia Hawksworth accompanied me in some part of the journey. Such was my state of bodily weakness, that my getting along, and being enabled to go through with the service assigned, claimed my admiration and thankfulness. I attended the meetings in Lon­don with considerable diligence, though very unwell, got out of town as soon as I could, and, accompanied by Lydia Hawksworth, went to her mother's, Deborah Waring, at Alton; where I rested a few days, and then proceeded to the quarterly meetings for Hamp­shire and Dorsetshire held at Ringwood and Poole; and so to our quarterly meeting at Looe. Here I met my dear husband, to our mutual rejoicing, although my languid state affected him painfully. From Looe we return­ed home, and through Divine favour I so ga­thered strength, as that in the Eighth Month I again left home, accompanied by my hus­band, intending to go through Wales to the Circular yearly meeting. I had several meet­ings in our own county and Devonshire to good satisfaction, and we crossed the Channel from Appledore to Swansea.

[Page 228]A circumstance happened at Appledore wor­thy of observation. Some sober people of that place were desirous of a meeting; but I was restrained from having one so publick as was wished, yet was quite free to sit down in a friendly woman's house, with such as she might think proper to invite. The meeting was held in an upper room the window of which fronted the river. A number of seri­ous people came, and I had a favoured oppor­tunity amongst them. Immediately as I sat down, one of the persons present stepped to me, and told me, the vessel we had wished to go in was getting under sail. This was unex­pected intelligence, as we were informed she would not sail that tide, and had not taken our passage in her. Had we held our meeting in another place, she had probably slipped away without our knowledge; as her sailing was perceived by the before-mentioned person in the meeting from the window. As I was now free to go, I took a glass of wine, and immediately went out at the back-door, into a boat, and on board. My husband went to the inn, and reached the ship, with our clothes, in a boat, before she got over the bar. We had a good passage; but had we missed this opportunity, we should have suffered much in coming in a sloop the next day, as the weather changed to wet and stormy. This is one of the many instances of providential direction I have experienced.

[Page 229]We staid at and about Swansea about two weeks; and thence proceeded to Leominster, Worcester, and Dudley. From Dudley, after spending a short time with my brother, we went to the Circular yearly meeting held at Coleshill, Warwickshire; which was large and Divinely favoured. From Coleshill we went through Coventry to Warwick, spent a little time with my sister, who, with her husband and son, were now settled there; and thence we went through Evesham, Painswick, &c. home, where we arrived in safety.

In this winter a concern rested upon my mind once more to visit Friends in Ireland; and, in my way to that kingdom, to attend the quarterly meetings at York, Lancaster, and Westmoreland, and the yearly meeting for the four northern counties to be held at Kes­wick. My beloved friend Lydia Hawksworth was given up to accompany me, and we ac­cordingly prepared for the journey; and in First month 1776 my husband accompanied me to Bristol. The weather was extremely cold, and the snow so deep that the roads in De­vonshire, and thence to Bristol, had been im­passable, and were then dangerous; but through Divine favour we got along safe, al­though the cold was so extreme that it was hard to bear. The road in some places was cut through the snow, so that it looked like passing through a deep hollow way, which had a very striking appearance. At Bristol, my dear husband left me, to go to Swansea, [Page 230] where he arrived safe, although the Severn at the New Passage, where it is three miles over, was so full of ice as to render crossing danger­ous.

Just at this juncture, my companion's mo­ther died, and she went to attend her funeral. I staid over First-day at Bristol meetings, and proceeded, through some meetings in Glouces­tershire, &c. to Dudley, where my sister met me. We spent some time together with my brother, and I went to Birmingham, where I was met by my companion, and we proceeded on our journey. Our first meeting was held in the town hall at Stafford, which was large, solemn, and satisfactory. From thence we went to Leek, and passed, through several meetings in Cheshire and Lancashire, to Shef­field, and so, through many meetings in York­shire, to the quarterly meeting at York. Af­ter the meeting at York I was concerned to have one at Tadcaster, where there was no Friend's meeting-house; and another near Harwood, which was very satisfactory; and another, on the First-day, at Otley, which was large, and I hope serviceable. Thence we went, through several meetings, to Lan­caster, attended the quarterly meeting there, afterwards to Westmoreland quarterly meeting held at Kendal, thence to the yearly meeting at Keswick, and so to Cockermouth and Whitehaven. We had travelled from Bir­mingham in sixty-two days, 500 miles, and attended sixty-six meetings; and as much of [Page 231] the service of meetings lay upon me, my na­tural strength was greatly exhausted before I embarked for Ireland: but I had abundant cause to acknowledge that Divine aid was from time to time dispensed; by which I was ena­bled to press forward, though under very pain­ful feelings.

We went on board a large vessel at White-haven on the 21st of the Fourth month, and landed at Dublin the 25th. Our passage was not without danger. One night a vessel run so near ours, that they became entangled in their rigging. The captain and sailors were much alarmed, but we got clear. How im­prudent it is for vessels not to hang out their lights. As our preservation was great, it claimed our deep thankfulness: a very little more, and probably one of the vessels had sunk, and the other might have been much damaged. Another night we lay at anchor near the Isle of Man, and had reason to con­clude ourselves in shallow water upon a sand­bank. Had the wind blown up fresh, it might probably have been of bad consequence.

Our captain had not been accustomed to navigate the Irish Channel: and when we drew near Dublin Bar, appeared regardless of the danger of crossing it, wishing to get into port without a pilot, although the wind was rough. A pilot, however, espying us, came on board, and took the vessel safe in; but the tide was so far spent, that she threw up the [Page 232] mud with her keel, as we passed the bank called the Great Bull.

We arrived at Dublin a few days before the national half-year's meeting began. This allowed us time to attend several meetings with the friends of that city; wherein the spring of ministry was livingly opened to the states of many professors amongst us: and although I had to lament the stript state of that city, through the removal of useful members, and the weakness of many who remained in the society; yet was there cause for thankfulness, in feeling the fresh extending of the Divine visi­tation to them. The half-year's meeting was large, and signally favoured with an awaken­ing searching visitation; and I was so helped therein, that many of my friends, who had been with me in former services in that nation, rejoiced that the heavenly Master had again sent me to see how they fared.

I write these remarks in reverence and thank­fulness to the Great putter forth, and qualifier for the services he appoints; who, to keep the minds of those whom he favours humble, permits them to be tried with hidden exercises. This was my case through the course of this journey, wherein the spring of gospel-ministry was largely opened; and I often appeared to my friends as well clothed with a royal robe, though, underneath, I was girded as with sackcloth.

From Dublin, we proceeded to visit the meetings through the main body of Friends in [Page 233] Leinster province, to that of Ulster; wherein we visited all the meetings, except two or three very small ones, the friends belonging to which we desired to meet us at another meet­ing.

We attended the quarterly meetings in both provinces, and returned back to Dublin the 2d of the Seventh month, where we staid un­til the 12th: in which time we attended meet­ings either for worship or discipline almost every day; and Divine condescension in open­ing fresh matter, suited to the several occasi­ons, was so admirable, that it appeared as if every state and office in the society were mi­nistered to.

By this time my natural strength was much exhausted; yet we pressed on through the counties of Wicklow and Wexford, and were at a province meeting at Enniscorthy, which was very large and crowned with solemnity. Here we took leave of friends of that pro­vince, and proceeded to that of Munster, wherein there are but few meetings, but the distances mostly long. My reduced state ren­dered it hard getting along; yet I was enabled to visit all the meetings, except a small one at Bandon, and favoured to discharge my duty therein; although my voice was sometimes so weak, that it was with extreme difficulty I ex­erted it to speak so as to be understood. When we came to Clonmell, and had attend­ed the meeting there, it seemed proper for us to retire to the house of our friend John [Page 234] Grubb about two miles out of the town; whither I went the 8th of the Eighth month, and staid until the 14th, being much indispos­ed. Here I was affectionately received and at­tended, and the quarterly meeting for the pro­vince being held at Clonmell during my stay there, many friends came to see me, and we were favoured together. I was enabled to speak beyond my expectation, to the comfort and encouragement of some, and caution of others, and took a solemn farewel of them in the love of Truth.

The 14th, we went to Waterford, but I continued so much indisposed, that it appeared best to go into the country; so we retired to a village called Tramore, by the sea-side. Here we staid from the 15th of the Eighth month, till the 9th of the Ninth month. My indispositi­on continued and reduced me very low; but, blessed be the Lord, his hand sustained me, and through all, my spirit was at times set at liber­ty in his service to the admiration of myself and friends; many of whom from Waterford came to us there, and we had divers seasonable opportunities with them, as well as with some who were at the place to bathe in the sea. My nerves being extremely weak, I was also advised to bathe, by the doctor who attended me, but I believe it had rather a bad effect. We had not staid at Tramore so long, had there been a suitable vessel at Waterford, rea­dy to sail for England. On our return thither, we had two meetings with Friends in a large [Page 235] parlour, at the house of our friend Isaac Jacobs, my voice not being equal to a meeting in the meeting-house. Thus we visited Friends in that city pretty generally, and the 12th em­barked on board a vessel bound for Minehead. Our friend Robert Grubb, of Clonmell, ac­companied us, being, in sympathy with us, inclined thereto; which we accepted as a fa­vour from Providence.

Our passage was easy as to wind; but my great indisposition, and my companion's ex­treme sea-sickness seemed to render such an as­sistant necessary, and he was very attentive and serviceable to us. When we came near our desired port, the wind turned against us and the weather became rough. However, the captain got over the bar just in time, for had we been but one hour later, we must have been driven back to sea, if not to Waterford: we landed at Minehead the 14th. There is only Robert Davies's family of our society in that town. He was from home, but one of his children met us upon the beach, from whence it was a long walk to his house. When we came into the street, we saw an empty cart going up it, and asked the carter to carry us to our friend's, which he readily did. My dear husband met us here, to our mutual sa­tisfaction; though to receive me back in so weak a state was affecting to him. The 15th was First-day, but I did not attend the meet­ing at the meeting-house, but had an oppor­tunity [Page 236] in the afternoon with the friends belong­ing to it, in our friend's parlour.

The 16th, we left Minehead, and travelled homewards by easy stages, my dear companion accompanying me to the verge of our county, whence she turned to the Circular yearly meeting held at Bridgewater. She was indeed a most tender affectionate companion, and a deep travailer in spirit, both in meetings and private opportunities: and although her pub­lic service in this journey was not large, it was very acceptable; and her private labours in many families were signally under that heavenly anointing, from which she was concerned to minister. I hoped to have been able to attend the Circular yearly meeting, and pressed for­ward in Ireland, in the fore part of this jour­ney, in order to get to England in time; but after our return from the north to Dublin, it was much impressed upon my mind, that I should have but just strength to accomplish the service in that nation, and so it proved.

I had travelled in this journey in England and Ireland, about 2000 English miles, and attended 192 meetings, besides family oppor­tunities, and visiting the sick. Sometimes we had several private meetings of this kind in one day, and seldom were without one, at least.

After my return home, I continued much indisposed, and my nerves so irritable that I had continual spasms for a considerable time; and my dear brother James Payton came to visit [Page 237] me, and, becoming very unwell, was detained the winter. As I gathered strength, I was enabled to attend upon little services about home; and my friend Lydia Hawksworth com­ing to see me, we visited the families of friends in Falmouth and Marazion monthly meetings, except one or two of each, whom I afterwards saw: in this service the Lord was with us of a truth. Soon after Lydia Hawksworth left me, Sarah Stevenson came to visit Friends in this county; in company with whom, I visited most of the families belonging to Austle month­ly meeting, to our mutual satisfaction; my dear husband accompanying us in this service.

Until the Seventh month in this year 1777, I had not been out of Cornwall since my re­turn from Ireland in the Ninth month 1776, which was the longest period I remember to have been confined within the limits of one county, since my first journey in the service of Truth into Wales, in the year 1749. I do not mention this as thinking much of my ser­vices; for although it has been my lot to be more constantly employed than many others of my fellow-labourers, I can truly say, I fre­quently look upon myself as an unprofitable servant; and when laid by a little, have to ruminate upon my many weaknesses; under a sense whereof I feelingly acknowledge that what I am, that is acceptable to the Lord, or honourable in his house, I am through his grace; and I often admire at his making choice of, and employing me so much in his service.

[Page 238]In the Seventh month this year, in company with my dear husband, I went to Swansea, his business, and to visit his mother, calling him thither. In our way we had a meeting with Friends in the north of Devonshire; but being yet very weak, I was easy to pass along without engaging much in public service. We had a good meeting at Appledore with some serious people, and crossed the Channel to Swansea, where we staid about two weeks, and proceeded to Bristol.

In our way between Newport and the New Passage (which we intended to cross), we re­ceived information that the Passage-house was so full of people that there was no probability of our getting a lodging there; so my husband intended going forward to Chepstow, though neither of us liked the prospect of crossing at the Old Passage; but our minds, especially mine, not being easy to proceed thither, we stopped at a small inn about two miles from the New Passage, and got a comfortable lodging, and next morning proceeded to the New Passage. We got safe over the Channel, al­though the wind was squally; but the same tide, the boat from the Old Passage was lost, even while we were on the water, and several men, with many oxen, drowned. Had we gone to Chepstow we should most probably have been in her. Thus kind Providence sig­nally preserved us.

After about a week's stay at Bristol, and visiting Frenchay meeting, we went to Wor­cester, [Page 239] so to Bromsgrove and Dudley. I was still in a very weak state, yet enabled to at­tend meetings, and labour in them to the com­fort of my friends and my own peace; although at times in great bodily pain. My sister met me at Dudley, and we were glad to see each other. From Dudley we proceeded to the Circular yearly meeting held this year at Bewdley; and in our way we had a meeting with Friends at Stourbridge, wherein my weakness was such, that I could hardly impart what pressed upon my mind so as to be heard. I was discouraged from looking towards the solemnity at Bewdley, with expectation of be­ing able to take much part in the public ser­vice; but was desirous to be assisted to labour in spirit for the help of my brethren and sisters engaged therein. On the Seventh-day even­ing, the meeting for ministers and elders was held, wherein I had something to impart, but in so low a voice as painfully to affect my friends; who might reasonably conclude it probable that my strength was so exhausted, as that I should not long be capable of publick labour in the church; and indeed my own feelings of general weakness coincided with that apprehension; but in the course of the publick meetings the Lord's power was won­derfully manifested, in strengthening me for service, to the admiration of all who saw my extreme weakness, and my own also. Indeed with humble gratitude I may acknowledge that it appeared miraculous; for I do not know [Page 240] whether I was ever able to speak with greater strength of voice and sentiment, than in the last meeting; so that although the booth was very large and crowded, I believe all might hear: and to the praise of the Great Name be it commemorated that his power was sig­nally over the meeting.

This extraordinary manifestation of favour tended to strengthen my mind, which for a long time had been sorely exercised with many fears, insomuch that my spirit was weary in the conflict, and ready to hope for death rather than life. Yet was I secretly sustained so as to press forward, and mostly to preserve a cheerful countenance, so that my friends could not perceive how my spirit was exercised and abased in the sense of infirmities, even when I was evidently clothed for service. Thus it hath pleased Divine wisdom to permit me to be tried in my passing along from youth to ad­vanced age: doubtless for some good end, and I desire thankfully to commemorate his gracious and wise dealings with me, in humble hope that finally all will work together for good; when, having filled up my measure of suffer­ings, I may be accepted in and through his beloved Son. It is not for us to query why these afflicting dispensations are appointed, but patiently to endeavour to wade through them. We may be certain they will tend to humble our spirits and prepare for service, as my soul hath many times experienced; and therefore can pray, that I may be passive in regard to [Page 241] the dealings of the Lord with me, who best knows what is necessary to effect the glorious purpose he has in view, viz. the thorough sanctification of my spirit, and reducing it into "the obedience of Christ:" concerning whom it is written ‘Although he was a son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;’ and if so, his servants can expect no other.

I have sometimes considered what that suf­fering of Christ was, whereby he learned obe­dience; seeing that he could not suffer for dis­obedience, being in all things subject to the will of his Father. But as man he was made like unto us, and had the same feelings as have the members of his mystical body; and al­though he was never overcome of the enemy, was liable to be assaulted by him. He had to bear the contradiction of sinners against him­self; and, no doubt, in the course of his mi­nistry felt the oppressive weight of contrary and wicked spirits, as the members of his church now do in their measure.

As man, we may suppose that he had the same reluctance to pain and insult as we have; but in submission to his Father's will, did and suffered what he in wisdom and mercy to man­kind appointed him. His followers also must thus "be made conformable to his death," if they have part with him in his resurrection unto glory. And although some of them may be left in seasons of extreme conflict, as he was, the most extreme, without the sensible feeling [Page 242] of the Divine presence; yet that power which appoints their suffering, secretly sustains under it; and when they have filled up their ‘mea­sure of suffering for his body's sake, which is his Church,’ with all other afflictions at­tendant on this probationary state, they will with him be able to say, "It is finished;" and as ‘good and faithful servants enter into the joy of their Lord.’

After the before-mentioned memorable meet­ing at Bewdley, I recruited in health, though yet attended with very painful feelings. We returned home pretty directly, taking the quar­terly meeting for Somersetshire, and some other meetings in our way; and the remainder of this year I spent at home, and attending ser­vices in our own county as they opened.

The 20th of the Fourth month 1778, I again left it in company with my dear husband intending for Wales, he having business there, and I had an engagement to attend the yearly meeting for that principality. We proceeded to Ilfracomb, and, in our way, had a meeting with Friends in the north of Devon at New­town. At Ilfracomb we had a large satisfactory meeting, amongst a people very ignorant of our principles. We were detained here by contrary winds until First-day, and as we sat together in the morning, I earnestly desired to know whether any further service was requir­ed; as it did not appear probable we should be released that day; and afterwards as I sat quietly in my chamber, our Lord's words to [Page 243] his disciples arose in my mind, ‘Arise, let us go hence,’ and soon after, the captain of the vessel came and told us he intended to sail. We went on board in the afternoon, and be­fore midnight landed at the Mumbles, and the next morning proceeded to Swansea. My husband's mother was lately dead; concerning whom I may say, that she was an exercised woman, and I believe finished her course with joy, about the ninety-seventh year of her age; and except her hearing, she retained her facul­ties to admiration. As her furniture, with her servants, remained in her house, we settled there.

The 2d of the Fifth month we went for the Welch yearly meeting, and were at a meeting by the way at New Inn meeting-house, which was large and very satisfactory. Samuel Spa­vold of Hitchin in Hertfordshire, John Lewis of Haverford-west, and Thomas Carrington, from North America, were there also; and we went in company that afternoon to a meet­ing which was appointed by John Lewis, at a friend's house, not far out of the way to Llandovery, and to Llandovery the same night. Here the yearly meeting was held, and began the next day; and through the various sittings, was a favoured season both to Friends and others. The weather being very wet, it was not so large as was expected, but many sober people attended, unto whom the gospel flowed freely. In the course of my travels before my marriage, I had two very satisfactory meetings [Page 244] at this place, where none live who profess with us.

My spirit, in the course of the yearly meet­ing, was dipped into sympathy with the few friends scattered about Wales; and unto those who were there assembled, encouragement and instruction were afforded. In our return to Swansea, we had a large and much favoured meeting at Llandilo; the before-mentioned Friends and John Townsend of London at­tending it. They went back to a meeting at the New Inn meeting-house, and next day we all met again at Swansea. The afternoon meeting there was large, solemn, and instruc­tive.

We staid at Swansea until the 14th, then went to Cardiff, and on the next morning had a small meeting there with a few who met to­gether on the First-day; several of whom were not in membership with us. I was very unwell, but was helped to speak to their states, and was well satisfied with the opportunity. We reached the New Passage that night, and next day we got to Bristol to attend the yearly meeting there, which was large and divinely favoured. Samuel Spavold, John Townsend, Thomas Carrington, and other friends in the ministry attended it.

On the 21st I was at a meeting at Fren­chay, with Thomas Waring of Leominster; and after the meeting, my friend Lydia Hawks­worth and I had a good opportunity with a young woman, who was likely to marry out [Page 245] of the society. She was much affected, yet held her resolution to engage in the connection. Her intended husband was a man of property, and had long resided in America, whereto he took her, and there she died. Her death was occasioned through a singular circumstance. In the time of the American war, her hus­band's estate was taken from him, but was re­covered after its termination. When intelli­gence was brought her of its being restored, she lay in, I think of her second child; and the pleasing news so affected her then weak spi­rits, that she died.

In the afternoon we had a much favoured season at Joseph Beck's, with many young people, and returned that night to Bristol. The 24th (First-day), we were at Claverham meeting, the 25th and 26th at Bristol; myself unwell.

The 27th, I was at Bath meeting, which was not large but favoured, returned to Bris­tol, and the 30th, we went to Pont-y-pool. The 31st (First-day), we attended two meet­ings at Friends meeting-house at Pont-y-moil, near Pont-y-pool. That in the morning was principally for Friends, that in the afternoon was large, and both opportunities were crown­ed with the Divine presence.

Sixth month 1st, we had a meeting at Car­diff with a few sober people. In our way back to Swansea we called upon a convinc­ed woman, who lived alone near Cow­bridge, who was comforted by our visit. We [Page 246] staid at Swansea until the 12th, attending the meetings there in their course, some of which were seasons of Divine favour. My mind being drawn to visit the few Friends at Ha­verford-west, my husband accompanied me there. The way was long, and my strength much exhausted by the before-mentioned ser­vices; but I was favoured with ability to dis­charge my duty. We had a large meeting at Carmarthen the evening we left Swansea, and next day got to Haverford-west, attended two publick meetings there on the 14th, it be­ing First-day, and in the evening had a private opportunity with Friends. We had consider­able satisfaction in this journey, and returned to Swansea, accompanied by our friend John Lewis, the 16th.

The 18th was the quarterly meeting at Swan­sea, which although very small was a solemn opportunity; Divine mercy favouring the few assembled from the several meetings, with counsel and encouragement. The 19th, J. Lewis and myself had a meeting in the town­hall at Neath, which was not so large as we expected, but, I believe it was a profitable season unto some present. The 20th, we went to Llantrissent, and the 21st attended two large meetings at Trêf-y-Ryhg, a meeting-house in the country.

The morning-meeting was much favoured. The few from Cardiff, and the poor lonely woman near Cowbridge, met us, and we had an opportunity with them and a few other [Page 247] friends at a friend's house. In our return to Swansea, we had a meeting at Bridgend, in a bowling-green, wherein was an arbour, un­der which I stood. The people were very still, and, I hope some were benefited. I was ex­tremely fatigued with this journey, having per­formed it mostly on horseback, double; which appeared the best method of travelling in some part of the journey, but I found my strength was not equal to that exercise in such long stages.

The 28th (First-day) I attended a small meeting held at Neath, in a friend's house, in the morning; and in the evening had a very large meeting at White Rock, amongst the workmen of the Copper House and others. This was the last meeting I appointed in Wales, and left Swansea with peace and thankfulness the 27th of the Sixth month, and returned to it no more. We reached Bristol the 29th, and got to Wellington the 1st of the Seventh month, attending the First-day meetings there: that in the afternoon was very large, and both were good meetings. The 5th, we had a living meeting at Camelford in Cornwall, amongst a people not professing with us; but some of whom appeared to me to be near the king­dom. The 6th, we got home.

The 31st of this month I had a meeting at the house of a man lately convinced, in the parish of Breague; where some hundreds of people gathered, that we were obliged to hold it without doors. They generally behaved [Page 248] well, and some were much affected. It was a favoured opportunity, and I was truly thankful for Divine aid to discharge my duty therein.

The 13th of the Ninth month, the Circu­lar yearly meeting for the western counties be­gan. It was held at Launceston, and was a large and favoured solemnity; and, although I did not think the ministry rose so high as I have known it in some of those general meet­ings, it appeared to be a serviceable opportuni­ty, and the people seemed well satisfied there­with. I spent the remaining part of this year about home, and was favoured in occasional services there amongst Friends and others. Upon considering the service wherein I have been engaged since I settled in Cornwall, I see cause for true thankfulness, having therein been owned by the heavenly Master: and al­though in regard to uniting with us as a people, much fruit has not appeared; the testimony of Truth seems to gain ground amongst the inha­bitants, and some of our own society and others, are awakened and strengthened thereby; so that I trust I have not run nor laboured in vain altogether. May the Lord preserve me hum­ble and dependent upon himself, that whatso­ever I am or do, it may be by his grace.

In the First month, 1779, our quarterly meeting at Austle was a memorable season of Divine love, wherein many states were minis­tered to, and many hearts tendered. The re­bellious were warned, and I believe some of them saw the imminent danger of their states; [Page 249] but alas! the prophet's complaint respecting Ephraim, &c. too well befits many visited minds. ‘Their righteousness is as a morn­ing cloud, and as the early dew which soon passeth away;’ yet I trust the savour of love and life witnessed in this meeting rested sweetly upon some minds.

For some time after this meeting, my exer­cise for some of the members of our own socie­ty was heavy, and I was livingly opened in se­veral meetings, and private opportunities, a­greeably to their states; so that whether the la­bour bestowed hath its desired effect, or be as water spilt upon a stone, I hope to be clear re­specting them: and great is the mercy of God in visiting and revisiting them.

The 1st of the Third month, I had a large good meeting at Helston, which many serious and religious people attended, and I believe were instructed and refreshed.

CHAP. IX.

FOR some time I had entertained a pros­pect of visiting some meetings in Somer­setshire and Gloucestershire, and paying a par­ticular visit to the families of friends in Here­fordshire. I left home to accomplish this ser­vice, accompanied by my dear husband; and on the 13th of the Third month 1779, we met our friend Lydia Hawksworth, who was con­cerned to accompany me therein, at Welling­ton. The 14th, being the first of the week, we attended Friend's meeting at Spice-land; and in the evening had a select opportunity with Friends at Wellington. My husband then pro­ceeding to Bristol on business, we industriously pursued our concern, visiting many meetings in that week; and on the 21st (First-day) were met by my husband, and my brother James Payton, at Puddimore meeting. We went the same evening to Compton in Dorsetshire, to visit our valuable friends Jonah Thompson and his son; spent the next day with them; and in the evening had a meeting with their scholars and others of the family and many of the neigh­bours, in the school-room, which was a fa­voured season; and we proceeded to Sherborn meeting on the 24th. Here my husband and [Page 251] brother left us, and next morning we proceed­ed to Hollowtrow, had a meeting there in the afternoon, went the same night to Pensford, next day to a meeting at Bolton, thence to Chew Magna, and were at the First-day meeting held there on the 28th.

The 30th we had a meeting at Portshead, and crossing the Avon at Pill, were at King's Weston meeting on the 31st; thence went to those at Olveston and Thornbury, and thence to Worcester. In these meetings in the coun­ties of Somerset and Gloucester, I was ena­bled to discharge my duty to my own hum­bling admiration, and the edification of many who attended them.

The quarterly meeting for the county of Worcester being held at Worcester, we at­tended it, and also two meetings with friends of that city; and on the 7th of the Fourth month, went to Bramyard in Herefordshire, where we were met by my brother Young and Thomas Waring of Leominster; who united with us in the intended visit to the families of friends in that county, which we began at this place. In this laborious and important service we were Divinely assisted. My dear compa­nion had a considerable and very acceptable share therein; which was generally the case in family visits, and private opportunities, al­though she was frequently silent in publick meetings. She was peculiarly gifted for these private services, and when she did appear in publick ministry, her service therein was very [Page 252] edifying, and acceptable to Friends. Having an intention to return to Bristol before the yearly meeting was held there, we pursued this service with diligence, and on the 24th of the Fourth month, we paid our last visit.

My brother Young had accompanied us through the visit, but Thomas Waring left us at Almelly on the 18th, their company was acceptable and strengthening to us.

On the 25th (being First-day) we had a meeting at Shire Newton in Monmouthshire, which was attended by many of the Welch people, and the few friends in the neighbour­hood, and, I believe was an acceptable oppor­tunity to them. In the evening we had a meet­ing with Mary Powel of Chepstow and some others. She was the only member of our soci­ety residing in that town; where a meeting of Friends was never settled. Next morning, we proceeded to the New Passage, but the boat be­ing gone a few minutes before we reached it, we were detained until the evening tide; but, through Divine mercy, we got safe over, and reached Bristol about ten o'clock the same night.

My husband staid with me at Bristol until the yearly meeting there was ended, which was large and attended by many ministering friends of this nation and America; yet a large share of the publick labour in the ministry fell to my lot, at which I believe my brethren and sisters rejoiced; for I was assisted to minister in the demonstration of the spirit and with power; [Page 253] and returned the praises due to Him who exalts and abases his servants, as he knows is most conducive to his honour, and to their preser­vation. I staid at Bristol to attend the marri­age of two friends with whom I was acquaint­ed; and then, accompanied by my husband, set out for London. We attended a few meet­ings in our way, and reached London about a week before the yearly meeting, myself much spent with hard labour and exercise. I was en­abled to attend the meetings in course, during the sitting of the yearly meeting; and after its conclusion, with my husband and friend Lydia Hawksworth, proceeded to Calne in Wiltshire, attended the meeting of Friends there in the morning of the First-day, and had a publick meeting at Chippenham, appointed to begin at six in the evening. The meeting was large, and was a favoured opportunity; the people not professing with us behaved with becoming seriousness, and some of them were visibly af­fected. It was long in gathering, which might occasion its being late before it concluded; yet my inclination being strong to go to Melksham that night, we proceeded thither. Before we reached it, the family where we were to lodge were in bed, but the master of it, my relation Thomas Fowler, came down and received us with great kindness. Next day my dear hus­band left us and went to Bristol and Swansea. I had a view of visiting some places in the neighbourhood; but my strength was exhaust­ed too much to suffer me to engage immediate­ly [Page 254] upon service. In the next night I was much indisposed, and in the morning sent for an apo­thecary, who thought my disorder was the effects of a cold; but it proved a fever, which, with the weakness attendant thereon, confined me for some weeks with these my affectionate relations; whose tender care and generous treatment of me, both now and at all times, when my lot was cast under their hospitable roof, demands my grateful acknowledgement, both of their kindness, and that of my hea­venly Father: whose mercy was at this time signally discovered in upholding my enfeebled frame until I came to friends by whom I was so well nursed, and with whom my mind was so easy. My affectionate companion continued also with me, and tenderly assisted me until my fever went off. My husband returned to me; but his business calling him home, and my strength not being equal to so long a journey, he left me to the care of my friends. As my strength returned, my prospect of some service in the neighbourhood returned also, and I ven­tured to the meeting at Bradford upon a First-day; but my principal concern was to hold a publick meeting at Trowbridge, in which town no one resided who professed with Friends. I went, in weakness, accompanied by several friends, and appeared to a friend of London who casually met me there so emaciated, that when she returned home, she reported amongst friends there, that it appeared to her my la­bours were near accomplished. We held a [Page 255] meeting in a large dining-room at the inn, which was attended by many attentive well-behaved people; and the testimony of Truth was exalted amongst them, to the praise of Him who strengthens for every service in which he engages his servants. I was that day made strong to declare of his wisdom and mercy, and preach the doctrines of his Son Jesus Christ; and returned to Melksham in peace, and with thankfulness for the assistance afford­ed in that memorable day's labour. After this meeting, I was easy to return home; so, ac­companied by my companion and a friend of Melksham, I left that place; and with her got to a country meeting held at Grenton in So­mersetshire on the First-day, which was attended by many of the country people, both of that place and its neighbourhood, and was a fa­voured opportunity. There being a funeral at the publick burying-ground on the preced­ing evening, our friends Beaven, with whom we lodged, gave notice (at my request) of the meeting to the people who attended it, which occasioned it to be the larger.

In the afternoon we had a private opportu­nity with the Friends, and next day proceed­ed to Wellington, and from thence towards Oakhampton; where we met my dear husband, to our mutual rejoicing and thankfulness, with whom we proceeded to our quarterly meeting held at Looe, and thence home, where we came in the early part of the Seventh month. As I had not preserved any minutes of my [Page 256] movements since the yearly meeting at Lon­don, I could not insert dates.

The state of my health required rest, and I was favoured with it; and having the com­pany of my dear friend Hawksworth, her at­tention was turned to assist in restoring my strength; and as she also was in need of rest, I hope she gained some advantage by accom­panying me home; although our quiet was disturbed in the Eighth month, by an alarm of the French and Spanish fleets being off Falmouth Harbour. What their design was could not be known, but there they lay for some days, the wind not permitting them to go up the channel; and as they did not at­tempt to land, it was conjectured that their hostile views were towards Plymouth, and the King's dock near that place. Soon after they had sailed up the Channel, being in our week­day meeting, with my mind retired to the Lord, under an exercise on account of the in­tended mischief, it run through it, ‘He sent forth lightnings and scattered them.’ I think, as we returned home from meeting, the wind was rising; the sky soon loured, and a terrible storm gathered and discharged itself, with fierce lightning, tremendous thunder, and violent rain; which continued more or less through great part of the night, and indeed the thunder until the next evening. The fleets were, by the time the storm began, got near Plymouth; and we heard that the commanders had deliberated about the business they had [Page 257] in view; but the Lord, who holdeth ‘the winds in his fists,’ discharged against them his terrible artillery so powerfully, as to pre­vent their designs, and obliged them to sheer off from our coasts in a shattered state. O! what frequent occasions have Britons to ‘praise the Lord for his mercy,’ and wonderful in­terference in their favour! but alas! though in words they acknowledge it, the generality of them are not concerned to make those re­turns which he is calling for; but continue in a course of conduct, and disposition of mind, which dares his righteous judgments: which will one day be poured forth upon the inhabit­ants of this highly favoured but ungrateful nation, unless they repent and turn from their manifold iniquity.

I choose here to mention a remark of a sen­sible inhabitant of the town of Helston, upon this signal and memorable storm, so favourable to this nation. He told me, that seeing it ga­thering, and having people at work on his har­vest, he hastened to direct their labours. As he went, he made his observation on the wind, &c, and I think he said that such was the con­fusion of the elements, that he could not say from what point the wind blew; and he said in his mind, 'This is no natural storm:' and indeed it proved to be signally providential, and as such worthy of commemoration; as is also a circumstance which happened in the town of Falmouth. As soon as government had in­telligence of the enemies lying in great force [Page 258] off that port, ammunition was hastened for the garrison there. The waggons halted in the market place, to which the sea comes up, whence the inhabitants fetch sea-water for some uses. A woman coming up with a buck­et of water at the instant the ammunition wag­gons stopped, observed that the axletree of one of them was on fire, and dashed her wa­ter upon it. As the fire was on the side next the sea, if she had not discovered it, it might have increased until it had blown up its danger­ous loading; and there being also a quantity of gun-powder in that part of the town, the houses might have been much damaged, and some lives lost.

My dear friend Hawksworth left me in the latter end of this month, or early in the next; and I was allowed to stay at and about home for the remainder of this year.

In the early part of the year 1780, I attend­ed several large meetings in Cornwall, held on account of marriages or funerals, which were signally honoured with the Divine presence. I also was at our quarterly meeting at Fal­mouth; and on the 3d of the Fifth month my husband and I left home to attend our annual solemnity in London. In our way we had meet­ings at several places, and called at Compton to pay our last visit to our beloved friend Jo­nah Thomson, who was near the close of an honourable life. We found his mind awfully collected, and waiting for his release from a pained body, in certain hope of his spirit's be­ing [Page 259] admitted into the saints rest, after having laboured many years in the work of the mini­stry. In the younger part of my life, he had conducted himself towards me as a tender fa­ther; and in my more advanced years, as an affectionate friend. He had also a sincere re­gard to my husband, and as our affection was mutual, our interview and farewel was affecting.

The yearly meeting at London was large and favoured by the heavenly Master of the assemblies of his servants. From London, we went, accompanied by our friend L. Hawks­worth, to a general meeting held annually at Weston in Buckinghamshire, and so to High Wycombe. My husband returned to London, and Lydia Hawksworth and myself proceeded to Reading, where we met a committee, who, by appointment of the yearly meeting, were going to visit the meeting for discipline in Bri­stol. We attended several meetings with them in our way to that city, where we arrived on the 1st of the Sixth month.

Before I left Cornwall, I had informed friends of our monthly meeting, that I was under an engagement of duty to attend the quarterly meeting for Oxfordshire to be held at Banbury, and to visit some meetings in Warwickshire, Worcestershire, Shropshire, and Gloncestershire, also to attend the Circular yearly meeting to be held at Hereford; where­with they concurred. And my friend Lydia Hawksworth being given up to accompany me, I staid at and in the neighbourhood of Bristol, [Page 260] until the Seventh month, to afford her time to prepare for the journey. We went to Wor­cester, and attended the meetings held there on the 1st and 3d days: and thence proceeded to Evesham and Alcester. Several of the town's people, came to the meetings at Alce­ster, and I was favoured to preach the ever­lasting gospel to them. The same evening, we reached Eatington, were at the meeting there on the First-day, whereto many friends from an adjacent meeting came, at my request, and I hope it was a profitable opportunity: we pro­ceeded that evening to Banbury, and to the house of Edward Stone, whose wife was near­ly related to me, and with her husband receiv­ed and entertained us with affectionate kind­ness.

The quarterly meeting held at this place was a large and favoured solemnity; and many people not professing with us attended the meetings, unto whom the gospel of life and salvation was preached in the demonstration of the Divine spirit. In the course of the meet­ings, a dangerous accident befel me. In the womens' meeting-room was a gallery for mini­stering friends, wherein my companion, myself, and other friends were seated. Upon my rising to step further, to make room for more, the floor gave way, and I sunk with it; but I re­ceived but little hurt, which might be esteemed a singular mercy, considering how I was situa­ted in the fall. Friends ought to be careful in examining these elevated seats in old meet­ing-houses. [Page 261] This was not the only time I have been in danger through the neglect of it.

From Banbury we went to a meeting at Redway, and to Warwick the 28th. We staid here with my dear sister Summerfield, until the 4th of the Eighth month, when we went to Shipston, where the quarterly meeting for Worcestershire was held the next day, at which were many friends of that county, who rejoiced to see me, and we were favoured to­gether in the Divine presence. On the 6th, we had a meeting at Long Compton, which, although small, was a favoured season. The same evening we had a meeting at Tredington at the house of our friend William Lambly, whose family was the only one of friends resid­ing in that village. His neighbours attended, but appeared so low in the knowledge of Di­vine Truths, that it was difficult to minister to them so as to be understood.

On the 7th, we returned to Warwick, and the 9th, being the first of the week (accom­panied by my sister), attended a large meeting of friends and other professors of religion, held annually at Birkswell; and on the same evening went to Coventry. We had a meet­ing there the 11th, and in the remainder of the week had meetings at several places amongst friends of Warwickshire; and on First-day, the 16th, were at a large meeting which is held annually at Atherston. There I met ma­ny friends from divers counties, amongst whom I had laboured and been conversant before my [Page 262] settling in Cornwall; and we were favoured together with the merciful visitation of Divine love and life. The 17th, we attended a monthly meeting for discipline held at Hartshill. Here I left my sister, who was so much indis­posed as not to be able to accompany us to the before-mentioned meeting at Atherston.

On the 18th, we went to the neighbourhood of Birmingham. We attended the week-day meetings there in this week, and also those on the First-day▪ I hope to the edification of ma­ny present, and visited several of our friends; and on the 24th, were at a monthly meeting for discipline at Dudley. The 25th, we had a large and good meeting at Wolverhampton; and thence we went to Coalbrookdale, had a meeting there, and proceeding to the meetings of Shrewsbury, and the Bank, came back to Coalbrookdale meeting, First-day, the 29th. The Lord's power and presence were evidently with us in our services in this quarter; and after a solemn opportunity in our friend Abiah Darby's family, at which some other friends were present, we left it and returned to Dud­ley; and I visited friends in that quarter no more. We staid with my dear brother until after the ensuing First-day, when the meetings were large; as has been usual, when I have visited that place, since my removal from it; my old neighbours pressing to the meetings, more generally than when I resided amongst them: and many times has the Divine power, and the testimony of Truth, been exalted; to [Page 263] the praise thereof, and the convincement of many of the truth of the doctrine preached, although but few have so ‘believed unto righteousness,’ as to make a public profes­sion thereof. Leaving Dudley, we had meet­ings at Stourbridge, Bewdley, and Broms­grove: that at Bewdley did not tend to relieve my mind, being attended by very few of the town's people, unto whom we suppose proper notice had not been given. On the next First-day we attended a large meeting which is held annually at Redditch; and thence we went to Worcester, staid over the Third-day's meeting there, and proceeded to Camden to the fune­ral of a friend; then to a meeting at Stow in the Would and to Cirencester, and attended the meetings there on the First-day, which was a day of memorable favour to some souls. We visited the meetings of Nailsworth, and paid a visit to my cousin M. Fowler, at Min­chin Hampton; whence we went to Sodbury, had a meeting there, and proceeded to Bristol, where my dear husband was engaged in busi­ness: and although I saw I must return into Gloucestershire, I was pleased to be permitted to see him before his return into Cornwall. From Bristol we went to the meetings at Fren­chay and Thornbury on the First-day, and so to the quarterly meeting for Gloucestershire, held at Cheltenham. As it was the season for drinking the water of this place, many who were in it on that account, attended the publick meeting, unto whom the testimony of [Page 264] Truth was declared. From Cheltenham we proceeded to Painswick, attended a large meet­ing, held on account of the funeral of a friend, which was a favoured opportunity, and had also a meeting select with the friends of that place. I had a desire to have a meeting at Gloucester with the people not professing with us, of which notice was given; and although it was not so large as I wished, I had some open service amongst those who attended and behav­ed seriously. We visited friends at Tewksbu­ry, and on the First-day, had an appointed meeting at Stoke Orchard, where formerly there had been an established meeting of friends, returned to Tewksbury, and next day went to Worcester. Thence my companion returned to Bristol, being desirous to spend a little time at home before the yearly meeting at Hereford. On the next First-day, being the 10th of the Ninth month, I attended a large, and I hope a serviceable, meeting at Stourport; which was appointed and attended by John Townsend of London, and Thomas Waring of Leominster; and was the first meet­ing which had been held by Friends in that place.

My mind not being easy respecting Bewdley, I proposed to the before-mentioned friends, to accompany me in a meeting there; which they being willing to do, one was appointed to be held the next morning; and although it was not so large as I expected, it was a favoured season, and tended to the relief of my mind. [Page 265] The 12th, John Townsend accompanied me to Droitwich, where I desired to have a meeting with the town's people, which proved a me­morable season of Divine favour. The 13th, I went to Bramyard, and the 14th attended the monthly meeting at Leominster, and staid with my relations there until the 23d. On the 21st, the marriage of my niece Catharine Young, with George C. Fox of Falmouth, was solemnized; and the meeting held upon the occasion was large, and the testimony of Truth was exalted therein, to the Lord's praise.

From Leominster I proceeded to Hereford, where I was met by my companion L. Hawks­worth, and many other ministering friends and others, assembled to attend the Circular yearly meeting, which was a large, solemn, and (to myself, and many other friends) humbling sea­son, under the sense of the fresh extendings of Divine love and power towards Friends, and the people of other religious societies. How frequently is the assent of the judgment given to the truths preached in our meetings, by many who attend them, who do not pro­fess with us! But how few of these walk an­swerably to what they have been convinced is consistent with the holy dispensation of Christ! Alas! the cross appears too great to be taken up, even to gain an immortal crown. But be it considered who it was that said, ‘He that taketh not up his cross, and follow­eth after me, is not worthy of me;’ and [Page 266] also, ‘He that is ashamed of me, and of my doctrine, of him will I be ashamed before my Father and his holy angels.’ It is not only the unfaithfulness of many who have been born and educated amongst us, but that of very many, who have been convinced of the truth of our religious principles, which pre­vents the increase of our numbers. There was a time when many people were weary of worshipping in the outward courts of religion, and could not content themselves with shadows of it, and were willing to embrace the cross, that they might obtain the substance; when many great and distinguished persons and cha­racters, bore testimony to the Truth as it is professed by us, as they were thereto called of God; whose light shone brightly, and very conspicuously through their great and nume­rous sufferings, for their ‘testimony of a good conscience towards Him and men.’ The present time is a season of ease, and greater liberty to worship the Lord agreeably to the instruction of his pure Spirit; but wherein many of the people are willing to hear, but few are awfully inquiring "What is Truth," with an earnest desire to know, and sincere in­tention to follow it. Pontius Pilate inquired, "What is Truth," but did not wait for an answer from the Light of Truth. He was in part convinced of his power and purity, yet he delivered him up to the Jews to be cruci­fied, lest his temporal interests should suffer, if he rescued him from their malice. And we [Page 267] read, ‘That the same day Pilate and Herod were made friends,’ who had before been at variance with each other. Thus it has been, and is, with many who have been part­ly convinced what is Truth. Temporal inter­ests and pleasures have been preferred to a possession in the Truth; and the joining with the world in persecuting Christ, to the confes­sing of him before men. The testimony of his servant is fulfilled in such; ‘Whosoever will be a friend of the world, is the enemy of God.’ These will one day see and la­ment their great loss. May the Lord in his mercy rouse many of them to consider the things which will make for their peace with him, before they are for ever hid from their eyes. I believe there will come a shaking time in these favoured nations, wherein the false rest of many will be disturbed, and the judgments of the Lord being in the earth, the inhabitants thereof will learn righteousness; and many will be gathered from the barren mountains of an empty profession of religion, and the deso­late hills of formality, to sit under the teaching of Christ, manifested by his Spirit in their souls, and delight in the extendings of the wing of his love and power; whereby they will be solaced, and sheltered in this state of probation, and therefore sing salvation and strength thereto. O! that those remaining under our name may be concerned to keep their lamps burning; that they may attract the notice of those who in that day will sincerely [Page 268] seek the way to Zion, saying, ‘Let us be joined unto the Lord in an everlasting cove­nant;’ that such may behold us, as a chosen people of God, abiding in our tents, under the direction of our holy Captain, Christ Jesus: who raised us up to be a people, that should bear an uniform testimony to his pure everlasting Truth. He cleansed us from all the chaff and dross, which under a religious shew, remained amongst the professors of faith in him; as well as from all the fragments of the legal dispensation, which with its ordinan­ces and ceremonies were appointed to pass away, when his pure spiritual dispensation of grace and truth should be introduced and esta­blished. He stripped us of that fragment of superstition wherewith the nominal Christian church was, and yet is in degree, clothed. He abolished the false faiths and false trusts whereon many had depended; and he clothed us with that true faith, which overcometh the world, and is productive of fruits meet for his holy kingdom. And will he suffer us to become extinct as a peculiar family to himself? Nay, verily. Although many of us are as ‘degenerate plants of a strange vine unto him;’ he will return and visit them, and some of these will be ingrafted into him; and others will be brought from far, to seek an inheritance amongst them; and the Most High will acknowledge them, as ‘the branches of his planting, the work of his hands, in whom he will be glorified.’

[Page 269]After taking an affectionate farewel of my friends at Hereford, my companion and I went to Ross, had a meeting there, and to Bristol, where I left her; and Ann Byrd accompanied me to Wellington. We staid the morning meeting there on the First-day, and went in the afternoon to Collumpton; had a religious op­portunity with the friends living there in the evening, and early next morning went for Ex­eter; in hope of getting there in time to go forward with the Friends from that place to the quarterly meeting at Kingsbridge; but they were gone, and we had to travel a lonely and long day's journey, which was not accom­plished without difficulty, and some danger, it being late at night ere we got to Kingsbridge. And had not a young woman whom we met at Totness, taken us into the chaise which she had hired, there was little probability of getting there that night; as no other chaise was to be had in the town, and the fleet lying in Torbay, the officers were revelling at the inn; so that we should have had but an uncomfortable time amongst them. From Kingsbridge, I went to Plymouth, where I met my dear husband; and after a meeting there, we proceeded home, where we arrived the 9th of the Tenth month.

I have the more particularly noted my pro­ceedings in this journey, because it was amongst my friends and others who had here­tofore so largely shared my labours; and this being the last visit which I paid them so general­ly, it appeared to me singular, that I should fall [Page 270] in with so many quarterly and annual meetings; which afforded us an opportunity of seeing each other more generally and repeatedly than we should have done, had it not so happened: and be it commemorated with humble thankfulness to the merciful Fountain of blessings, that it was a season of signal favour to many of our spirits.

I had been laboriously exercised for more than five months in this journey, and except in attending our monthly and quarterly meeting, and occasional services about home, I was ex­cused from travelling more in this year. In­deed, I had for some time, found my nature sinking under the load of exercises it had long sustained; so that I did not go through services assigned me without many painful feelings, but He who employed, supported me, to the praise of his ever worthy Name.

In the spring of the year 1781, I wrote my brother Young to the following import:— 'My mind is so closed in regard to future pros­pects of duty, that I am ready to conclude, that some family affliction may prevent my mov­ing far from home soon.'

In this I was not mistaken; for soon after I wrote that letter I was seized with a cold, the effects whereof became alarming; and after its load was removed from my lungs, it fell upon my joints, which have gradually stiffened, and baffled all medical application; so that I am be­come an entire cripple, and my fingers are so contracted that my being able to use my pen is [Page 271] admirable to my friends. But although this is ultimately the consequence, yet I have been enabled to struggle on for several years.

I was not so recovered as to appear equal to the fatigue of attending the yearly meeting at London this year; and my husband also was easy to abide at home, where he was so dan­gerously attacked with a quinsey, that it ap­peared he very narrowly escaped death. His son was from home, and the weight of his criti­cal situation, together with the attention which was due to him, bore heavily upon my weak body and spirits, and but that our cousin Fran­ces James, now Fox, was then with us, I know not how I should have sustained my fatigues. She very tenderly and assiduously attended up­on my husband, and assisted me in this season of affliction; which I note with thankfulness to that good Hand which furnished us with her help. My husband's first wife was her mo­ther's sister, and she being left an infant or­phan, my husband, with other relations, had cared for her, and a mutual affection subsisted; so that her services were the more willingly lent, and pleasingly accepted.

When my husband's disorder was turned, he recovered strength but slowly, and I conti­nued weak, yet I could not be easy to omit at­tending the Circular yearly meeting, which was this year held at South Molton in Devonshire. My husband's health not admitting of his ac­companying me, my niece Fox was my only companion; but being in our own chaise we [Page 272] got along the more easily and in safety to South Molton, where we hoped to have met my bro­thers Payton and Young; but in this we were afflictingly disappointed. My brother's servant brought us intelligence, that his master and my brother Young had come within one stage of Bristol, where my brother Young was laid up extremely ill; and of consequence my bro­ther Payton was detained with him. This was afflicting intelligence to us both; my niece his daughter was sunk too low to proceed forward alone; and until the meeting closed, no friend could be expected to accompany her, when my friend Hawksworth took her under her care. She found her father extremely ill, and his case appeared for some time very danger­ous, yet it pleased Providence to restore him; but he was confined some weeks at the inn, be­fore it appeared safe for him to move forwards.

The people of South Molton very kindly welcomed friends amongst them, and freely opened their houses to receive such as could not be accommodated with lodgings at the inns. My friend Hawksworth and myself pre­ferred lodging at a private house, as our inn was likely to be very full of company; and as we went to see a room at a considerable dis­tance, a young clergyman joined us, and ap­peared to interest himself in our being well ac­commodated. He told us the people of the town were generally moderate and civil, and seemed pleased that the meeting was appointed there. We were kindly lodged near the inn.

[Page 273]The meeting was very large, and the peo­ple behaved soberly: indeed many of them seemed prepared to receive, or at least hear, the testimony of Truth; and the power of it so prevailed in the meeting as to bind down the spirits of others, who might attend from no better motive than curiosity. The spring of gospel ministry ran freely, and I, though so weak, was enabled to take a large share in the labour. Friends were comforted together, and the faithful amongst them rejoiced in perceiving the extendings of the love of God, both to­wards the members of our own society, and those of other religious professions; many of whose hearts were affected under the testimo­nies delivered in the meetings.

I returned directly home, my friend A. Price accompanying me. Here, and in the county, I continued for the winter, in a weak state of health, and my dear husband tender, but most­ly cheerful, which was his natural disposition. I do not know that I have enjoyed one day's health since the spring of this year, which, as I foresaw, was a year attended with much fa­mily affliction, wherein our son Richard Phil­lips had a share before it terminated.

In the year 1782, I attended the Welch yearly meeting, which was held at Bridge­north. My husband accompanied me to Bris­tol, and Lydia Hawksworth went with me to Bridgenorth. We went direct, only called and staid a short time with my brother, and re­turned [Page 274] to the yearly meeting at Bristol, and thence to London.

When I went from Bristol to Bridgenorth, my husband went to Swansea, and met me in London, to attend the yearly meeting there. A general epidemic cold reigned during the sitting of the yearly meeting. Many friends were seized with it, but we were favoured to escape it, until much of the service of the meetings was over. We were both much in­disposed, which detained us some time in Lon­don; and when we were able to travel, we returned with our friend Lydia Hawksworth to Bristol, and thence home. We recovered strength to attend the Circular yearly meeting, which was held at Tamworth in the Ninth month. My weakness and contraction in my joints increasing, my husband consulted Dr. Ludlow, a physician of note of Bristol, upon the case, who ordered me medicine to take on the journey, which, being of an invigorating quality, I thought helped to strengthen me to get through the fatigue of the journey, and the exercise of the meeting; although the principal help in the course of the labour as­signed me therein must be attributed to the Lord's power, which is manifested in the weak­ness of his servants. The meeting was large, both of Friends and those of other societies, and crowned with the Divine presence. The testimony of Truth was exalted, and faithful friends were comforted, in the sense of the continued extendings of the heavenly Father's [Page 275] love to the various states of the members of our own society, as well as to other professors of religion. Before the meeting was opened I had dislocated my left elbow, by a fall down a steep and long flight of stairs, and was oblig­ed to carry my arm in a sling; although I had to take so considerable a share of active labour through the course of the meetings. After their conclusion, we attended a meeting at Birmingham, then spent a short time at Dud­ley, with my brother, and returned to Bristol, where we again consulted Dr. Ludlow; who advised me to try the effect of electricity on my contracted joints. After I had continued some time under that operation, he ordered me to Bath, to try the effect of pumping upon them, at the same time continuing the medicines he had prescribed. But all was without the de­sired effect; and indeed I believe the Doctor had but little hope in my case, for he intimat­ed that I might probably become an entire cripple, and live many years in that state: which has been my case.

1783.—My husband accompanied me to the yearly meeting at London. Before I left home, I had informed my friends that I was engaged to attend the yearly meetings of Colchester, Woodbridge, and Norwich, which succeeded that at London; and had obtained a certificate of their unity with me therein; and my friend Lydia Hawksworth being under the like con­cern, we left Bristol on the 28th of the Fifth month, accompanied by our friend Mary Were [Page 276] of Wellington. We proceeded to Melksham and Salisbury, where we left Mary Were, and went to Poole, attended the meetings there on First-day, 1st of Sixth month, and the 2d, met Mary Were at Ringwood, at­tended the monthly meeting there, and pro­ceeded to Rumsey, thence to Alton, attended the week-day meeting there on the 4th, and went to Godalming, and the 5th to London. On this day we intended to have fallen in with the week-day meeting at Esher; but there be­ing a funeral of a friend at Kingston, most of the friends of Esher were gone to attend it; so we pressed on, and got to the meeting a little after the time appointed; and I hope it was well we were there. We attended the quarterly meeting, and proceeded on our jour­ney, taking meetings in our way to the before­mentioned yearly meetings. We also visited almost all the meetings in Norfolk, then passed into Cambridgeshire and the Isle of Ely, visit­ing the meetings therein, thence into Essex, and, visiting divers meetings which I had not before attended in that county, turned back through Cambridgeshire to Huntingdon. In this journey I sustained much labour both in body and spirit, which was the more painful from my increased and increasing weakness; which rendered it probable, as indeed it prov­ed, that this would be the last visit I should pay to friends of those parts; as it was also the first I had paid to many of the meetings which we attended. I was however thankful [Page 277] that the good Shepherd influenced our minds to visit so many of his sheep in those counties, unto whom our spirits were united in gospel sympathy; and we had also to bear the burden of the spirits of formal professors, unto whom the alarm was sounded, to awake out of sleep. I had some publick meetings in this journey to my satisfaction, and I hope to the edification of many people attending them. One of them was held at Cambridge; which I hope was serviceable, although I was not favoured to rise in the exercise of the Divine gift be­stowed upon me, to that height I did when in that town many years ago.

That was indeed a singular time, and an­swered a singular end, viz. to convince a man who had contemned women's ministry in Christ's church, of its weight, efficacy, and consistency with the gospel dispensation. The same man, who did not live in the town, was invited to attend this meeting, and he might therein hear gospel truths published, and treat­ed upon in a more argumentative way, than it was common for me to be engaged in. The All-wise employer of true gospel ministers knows how to direct his servants, both as to the matter, and the manner wherein he intends it should be communicated to the people. And I have admired his wisdom and condescension therein, when without forethought my speech has been accommodated to the capacities of those unto whom it was directed. To such as were illiterate and ignorant, I have spoken in very [Page 278] low terms; and to those of more understand­ing, in such as answered its level; while to the learned, and those of superior natural abi­lities, I might say with the prophet, ‘The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned;’ although I had it not by educati­on. I have not wanted eloquence of speech, or strength of argument, wherein to convey and enforce the doctrines given me to preach; of which I could say, as my Lord and Master did, ‘My doctrines are not mine, but his who sent me:’ and his love, life, and pow­er, hath accompanied them, to the stopping of the mouths of gainsayers, and convincing of the understandings of many, of the recti­tude and efficacy of ‘the Truth as it is in Christ Jesus.’

O the depth and excellency of true gospel ministry! The Lord's prophet in the prospect of it might well exclaim, ‘How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of those who bring good tidings, who publish peace, who publish salvation, who say unto Zion, Thy God reigneth!’ These are not made so by human or literary acquirements; but ‘the Spirit from on high being poured upon them,’ under its holy humbling influence they are enabled to minister, and ‘compare spiritual things with spiritual,’ or elucidate them by natural things, as occasion may re­quire, without forecast or premeditation; for they speak extempore, as the Spirit giveth ut­terance. When the ministry in the general [Page 279] thus returns to its original dignity and simpli­city, an education at colleges will not be sought to qualify for it. No, those who are accou­tred for the service of him ‘who spoke as ne­ver man spake,’ must be educated in his school, and disciplined by his wisdom; where­by they are made able ministers of the new testament, not of the letter but of the spirit; for the letter killeth but the spirit giveth life.

Thus have I, with many of my fellow-la­bourers, been assisted to minister in the gospel of Christ; and now in the close of a labori­ous day's work, I may commemorate the mer­cy, power, and wisdom of Him who chuseth whom he pleaseth for the various offices in his church. He appoints, of both male and fe­male, ‘some apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers; for the perfecting of the saints, for the wo [...] of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ; until his members come in the unity of the faith, and of the know­ledge of the Son of God, unto the mea­sure of the stature of the fullness of Christ; and may grow up into him in all things who is the Head, from whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to its effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body, unto the edifying of itself in love.’ Then, there is the highest rejoicing in him the heavenly Teacher, who fulfils his gracious promise, [Page 280] both to those who minister under him, and to those who are not called to this awful service, ‘Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the world!’

Unto him all true gospel ministers direct the people, and endeavour to settle them under the teaching of his pure Spirit. These disclaim the least degree of ability to labour availingly in his service, except what flows from him, the fountain of Divine power, love, and life; and, after they have done and suffered what he assigns them. sit down in the acknowledg­ment, that ‘what they are, they are through his grace.’ And thanking him that they have not received his grace in vain, humbly confess they have done but their duty. Thus from early youth, have I travelled and labour­ed, that the saving knowledge of God may increase, through experience of the prevalence of the power of his Son; whereby the true believers in him become crucified to the world and the world unto them; and being th [...] dead, are raised by him in newness of life, to the praise and glory of God. Freely I have received the knowledge of salvation through the sanctifying operation of the spirit of Christ; and freely have I testified thereof, and of God's universal love through his Son to mankind: for he would have none to perish, but that all should be saved, and attain to the knowledge of his Truth.

My views, with those of others my fellow-labourers in the ministry, have, in regard to [Page 281] ourselves, been simply to obtain peace with God through an honest discharge of our duty; and in respect to those unto whom we have freely ministered, that they might be turned from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God; and be favoured with the experience of the remission of sins, and obtain­ing a fixed inheritance amongst all those who are sanctified. And we are not afraid to say, that the love of Christ hath constrained us to minister, unmixed with any temporal interest­ed motive, or view of reward. Through that love, we have been made willing to spend our temporal substance, as well as our strength of body and of faculties, and to suffer many hard­ships; yea, to leave what was dearest to us in nature, and be accounted fools by the wise and prudent of this world; some of whom have poured upon us contempt, but who professing themselves to be wife, have manifested their foolishness; and by speaking evil of what they knew not, have evidently been wise in their own conceits.

As to us, however we may have been fa­voured by the Lord, who has accounted us worthy to have a part in this ministry, and has at seasons clothed us as with a royal robe, to the astonishment of even those who have had us in derision; all boasting is excluded, by the pure humbling law of faith in Christ, ‘the wisdom and power of God,’ and we con­fess with his primitive ministers, that we have nothing of our own to boast of but infirmities, [Page 282] nor have we ought to glory in but his grace to help us; through which we have been render­ed equal to the arduous tasks assigned us; and willing to turn from prospects the most pleasing to the natural mind, and to endure crosses, tri­bulations, and the contempt of men, for his sake, who so loved us as to die for us; and hath mercifully called us by his grace, to be­come heirs with him in the kingdom of his Fa­ther: and having done all, we have nothing to trust in but the mercy of God, manifested in and through him; and under a sense that all we can do to promote his honour is but lit­tle, and that little communicated by his strength, this is ultimately the language of our spirits. Not unto us, O Lord! not unto us, but unto thy ever worthy name, or power, be glory forever! Amen.

From Cambridge, one of the seats of learn­ing, I wish I could say of piety, we proceeded to visit some other meetings in this quarter, and coming to Ives, attended the funeral of Samuel Abbot, an elder of good report. The meeting held upon the occasion was extremely crowded, and many of the principal inhabit­ants of the town and neighbourhood attended it. It was a season of awful solemnity, where­in the tide of gospel ministry rose high, even to the overflowing the mounds of opposition; and I believe the people were so humbled, that many of them could join us in supplication and praise to the Lord, who ‘is glorious in holi­ness, fearful in praises, working wonders.’ [Page 283] Hence we went (as before hinted) to Hunting­don, our friend John Abbot (son to the friend whose funeral we had attended) accompanying us. From Huntingdon we proceeded to Amp­thill in Bedfordshire; and in our way passed through Potton, intending, if it was conveni­ent, to lodge in that town, with one professing with us. But alas! when we came there, we found the town, which the day before, had been, it was said, one of the prettiest in the county, in ruins. A terrible fire had raged all night, and was not then in some places quite extinguished. Almost the whole of a principal street, through which we walked (not without fear lest the chimnies, or some other parts of the brick or stone-work left standing, should fall upon us), and most of the houses in the market-place were consumed. The fire stopped at the next house to that which our friend had inhabited. He had time to get his goods out, but had left them, and with his wife was gone to another town where they had relations, and through which we had to pass, and where, at an inn, we lodged at night, our friend Abbot accompanying us. The view of Potton and its inhabitants was truly pitiable: the goods of the sufferers were scattered about round the town in the fields, and some were watching them. The countenances of some whom we saw in the streets were deeply marked with grief; and the principal ovens being destroyed, bread was to be fetched from a town some miles distant. Our friend John Abbot was so [Page 284] touched with the countenance of one poor woman, that after passing her, he turned back, and gave her something handsome; but she probably knew not where to buy victuals if she wanted it. The principal inns being burn­ed down or greatly injured, we stopped at the house of an acquaintance of his, in a part of the town which had escaped the fire, who rea­dily gave us some refreshment; and in return, we left with him, towards the present relief of the sufferers, so much as excited his thank­fulness. The next morning we visited our friends who had fled from Potton, at their re­lation's; and had a solemn religious opportu­nity with them and others present; and pro­ceeding to Ampthill, attended the First-day's meetings there. From Ampthill, John Abbot returned home, and we went pretty directly to Melksham, appointing some meetings in our way thither. Before I came there my strength was extremely exhausted, and having a con­cern to attend the Circular yearly meeting to be held at Frome in Somersetshire, it appeared necessary for me previously to take a little rest. We therefore staid at Melksham with my af­fectionate relations Elizabeth Fowler and her son and daughter, her husband being now dead. At Frome, I met with my dear brother James Payton, and many of my relations and friends, and the Lord favoured us together with his presence. The meetings were large, solemn, and eminently crowned with divine life and power, wherein the gospel was preach­ed [Page 285] by several ministers. Nicholas Waln, from Pennsylvania, attended this meeting, and had acceptable service therein. I went directly home; and in my way had a favoured meeting with friends, and many others of the inhabi­tants of Exeter. My niece Fox accompanied me from Frome to Truro, where my dear husband met me, to our mutual thankfulness. I do not recollect any thing more worth re­marking in the remainder of this year, where­in I continued weak, yet attended services about home as they occurred.

In the spring of the year 1784, my dear husband was much indisposed, and from that time was frequently afflicted with a giddiness in his head; yet he recovered so far as to at­tend the yearly meeting at London, and I ac­companied him in much weakness; yet I had cause to be humbly thankful for the Divine aid vouchsafed to labour, although I was un­able to attend all the meetings which were held in the course of that solemnity.

From London we went to Bristol, where my husband had business; and as I had no in­clination to stay in that city, proceeded in company with M. and A. Moon, to Welling­ton. Thence I was accompanied by my dear friend M. Were to William Byrd's at Uff­culm; at whose house we had a favoured meet­ing with the town's people, and returned to Wellington; where I waited, until my husband came to me. I was strongly impressed with a concern to pay a visit once more to the few [Page 286] professing Truth in the north side of Devonshire, as well as to hold some publick meetings in some of the towns which I had heretofore visit­ed. My husband knew of my having this prospect, but when he came to me at Welling­ton, and saw how poorly I was, he almost feared for me, and would have been pleased if I had been easy to have accompanied him directly home. This however not being the case, we went on the First-day to Friends meeting at Spice-land, which was attended by a pretty many sober people, not professing with us; and the Master of our assemblies, favoured with suitable doctrine and counsel, so that the truly righteous rejoiced together; and, under the sense of the arm of the Lord being extended to help in the seasons of weakness, we pro­ceeded from this meeting to South Molton; and our friends Nicholas and Mary Were, and William and Ann Byrd, accompanied us; as did also Thomas Melhuish of Taunton. We appointed a meeting to be held there the next morning; but the weather proving very wet, there was some doubt how it would be attend­ed; however it was pretty large, and a so­lemn instructive season. No one professing with us lived in this town, nor had any meet­ing been appointed there since the Circular meeting was held there in 1781. But the re­membrance and savour of that solemnity might continue long upon the minds of religious persons.

[Page 287]We went that evening to Barnstaple (except T. Melhuish, who returned home), and next day had a meeting there in the Assembly-room, which was large, solemn, and highly favour­ed with the Divine power and presence. I was wonderfully assisted to publish gospel truths, ‘in the demonstration of the spirit, and with power;’ and it appeared that many who heard, understood and were affected, amongst whom were some of the higher rank. O! that such heavenly visitations might produce fruits of righteousness answerable to the la­bour bestowed; but alas! they are too fre­quently like water spilled upon a stone, which although it wets the surface, does not change the obdurate unfruitful nature of the stone; and the rain which has descended upon it, is so quickly dried up, that there remains no evi­dence of its having been watered.

Indeed the stone is, agreeable to its nature, unfruitful, and must remain so. But what said the apostle unto those whose hearts were like ground, which, although it was often water­ed, brought forth nothing more profitable than briers and thorns. ‘It is nigh unto cursing, whose end is to be burned.’

It is extremely dangerous trifling with the Lord's merciful visitation to the soul, as time is uncertain: therefore those who hear, have need to be concerned to obey the call of God to a renovation of mind and manners, that their souls may live.

[Page 288]From Barnstaple, we went to Great Torring­ton, and had a large and I hope serviceable meeting there, although not so distinguishedly favoured as that of Barnstaple had been. My dear friends A. Byrd and M. Were had acceptable service in the before-menti­oned meetings; as well as in ministering to the few friends who were scattered about the country, who met us at one place or other; and we had private religious opportunities with them, so that they were generally visited. I was favoured with much freedom to speak to them in the love of Christ, and therein to take my farewel of them; for this proved to be my last visit. There were never many friends settled on the north side of Devonshire. I know not of a meeting-house having been built in any town I have visited there; yet a few, some of them having been gathered from other profes­sions of religion, were scattered about in this quarter, and held meetings at their houses.

W. Byrd and his wife left us at Torring­ton; but Nicholas Were and his wife conclud­ed to accompany us to Hatherly, twelve miles farther, where I had a desire to have a meet­ing; and their being so disposed proved very serviceable to us.

There having been a large fair for cattle the day before we came to Hatherly, and the far­mers scarcely all gone from the place, we found the inn in such disorder as to render it doubt­ful how we should lodge. However, the land­lady [Page 289] got clean linen, and our friends Were and ourselves got lodging; but some men friends who met us from Exon, were obliged to shift for themselves as well as they could; and a young woman who accompanied them was pro­vided for with us. The town was small, and in such a hurry, that it appeared a poor time to get a meeting. The weather was also very wet on this and the next day; but some of the town's people being informed of our view in coming, interested themselves in procuring us a meeting place, and we were furnished with one as commodious as we could expect. Many as­sisted to seat a part of it; and the weather con­tinuing wet, prevented some of the inhabitants from going to their labour, so that I know not but our meeting was the larger through that circumstance. The people behaved well, ma­ny were content to stand, and we were favour­ed with a solemn meeting amongst them. No meeting had been held in this place for very many years; so that most of our auditors ap­peared ignorant of our religious principles and manner of worship; but our visit was received with expressions of pleasure and gratitude by some, and we left the place with thankful hearts, each of us settiog our faces homeward the same evening. My health continued de­clining, and my husband's complaint of giddi­ness returned pretty frequently. We did not go far from home for the remainder of this year.

[Page 290]In 1785 my husband was inclined to attend the yearly meeting at London, and desirous of my accompanying him. I was so weighed down with painful sensations, and my joints so much contracted, and he so subject to the gid­diness in his head, that I suggested to him the propriety of our considering whether it was safe for us to venture upon such a journey: to which he replied, that his mind was strongly drawn to the yearly meeting, and said, that it would be the last he should attend. In our way thereto we were at the meeting of Brid­port on the First-day; and I appointed a meet­ing at Andover, which was large, and emi­nently favoured with the Divine power and presence. Samuel Emlen and George Dill­wyn, both of Philadelphia, attended this meet­ing; but the principal share of the ministry rest­ed upon me: indeed I had long had a view to a meeting in this town, and this proved to be the last time I passed through it. When we reached London, I was in a very weak state, but was enabled to attend the meetings in their course. At the yearly meeting in the preced­ing year, our men-friends had weightily con­sidered the state of our women's yearly meet­ing; and it appearing that it might become of more general service, if the queries for women-friends, which are answered from their month­ly to their quarterly meetings, were also an­swered from the quarterly to the yearly meeting of women, they sent a minute to the quarterly [Page 291] and monthly meetings to that import; and this year answers were sent from some quarterly meet­ings, and women-friends attended as represen­tatives. But it being a new thing, and the pro­priety or necessity of it not fully understood by all our women-friends, an epistle was written, setting forth the rise and use of the discipline established amongst us, and encouraging wo­men-friends to attend to their share of it. As mothers of children and mistresses of families, they have an extensive service to attend to, and ought to be concerned so to discipline their fa­milies, as to be able to answer the several que­ries relative to their situation.

My mind being drawn to visit the quarterly meeting of Hertfordshire, I intimated it to my friend Elizabeth Talwyn of Bromley, who kind­ly took me and my dear companion Lydia Hawksworth thereto in her coach; and this was my farewel visit to Friends there. As I knew that my husband as well as myself wish­ed to leave London as soon as we could with ease of mind, I requested that notice might be sent to the several meetings near to that of Chorley Wood, that I hoped to be there on the next First-day, and should be pleased to see as many as could meet me there. The meeting-house was pretty full, it was a favour­ed season, and the last meeting I had in that part of the kingdom. That night we lodged with our friend Robert Eeles near Amersham, by whom and his kind wife I had several times [Page 292] been affectionately entertained. Next day we reached Banbury, had a meeting with friends there, on the next morning, and after taking an affectionate leave of my near relation S. Stone, we proceeded that night to Warwick. My sister received us affectionately, though not without concern to see me so much enfee­bled. My joints were so contracted that it was become difficult for me to walk; and through­out this journey I was assisted in dressing; and my inward weakness was also very apparent, so that it appeared probable that this might be our last interview, I attended one meeting with friends at Warwick, wherein the Divine spring of gospel ministry was opened to the re­freshment of religious minds; and, after tak­ing my last personal farewel of my dear sister, we went to Coventry, had an evening meeting there, which was pretty generally attended by friends and some intelligent people not profess­ing with us; and the Lord favoured us toge­ther in a memorable degree. The subjects given me to speak upon, were the awfulness and importance of passing through time, con­sidering the consequences depending there­upon, and the solemnity of passing out of it, even to the best of men. For although such might be favoured with a well-grounded hope of participating in ‘the inheritance which is undefiled and fadeth not away;’ and might rejoice at the approach of the hour of release from the pains and solicitudes attendant in this probationary state; it was a season, wherein, [Page 293] from the consideration of the purity of Christ's kingdom, they might think it needful to exa­mine whether their spirits were so clean, as to be meet for admittance thereinto. But to the wicked it was a terrible hour. Many striking remarks, directed to divers states, were given me to make; and I was favoured to deliver them in concise, yet strong terms, to the af­fecting the minds of many present: and thus, taking leave of that city, we proceeded next day to Birmingham, attended the First-day meeting there, and thence to Dudley. We staid a few days with my brother, attended one meeting there, and another at Stourbridge, afterwards went to Worcester, and were at the First-day meetings there.

As my case appeared alarming, and some of my friends advised my making trial of Buxton water, my husband, when we were at Bir­mingham, took the advise of a physician of note, who did not choose to prescribe for me, nor encourage my going to Buxton; but advised our calling at Bath, but cautioned me against drinking the waters, or bathing, without tak­ing further advice there: so taking leave of our brother James Payton and friends at Wor­cester, we proceeded directly to Bath. The advice I there had was to return home, drink the Bath water there, and pursue the course of medicine prescribed. The weather was then too hot for me either to bathe, or drink the water there, but it was left to further con­sideration [Page 294] whether I should return there in the fall.

Weak as I was, I had two meetings at Bath; in one of which I had a strong and clear testi­mony directed to a state which in youth had been Divinely visited, and made some advances in the path of self-denial; but in more advanc­ed age, had sought after worldly wisdom and knowledge, and the friendship of those in that spirit, and had lost the heavenly dew of youth.

There was a person in the state described, in the meeting, who was much affected, and died in a short time. How does Divine mercy fol­low the backsliders from his holy command­ment, with the gracious call of ‘Turn ye, why will you die?’

From Bath, we went to Bristol, where my husband had business, and where I left him, and went to John Hipsley's at Congersbury, was at the meeting of Claverham on the First-day, and returning to Congersbury, staid there until my husband's business permitted him to return home: to which we went directly, my­self in a feeble state, but my husband appear­ed to be as well as when we left it.

After our return from London, my hus­band's time and attention were very much en­grossed by business relative to the mining interests in this county. Some alteration in the course of the trade appeared necessary, and as he had from his youth been engaged in the copper trade, and was well acquainted with the state of it, both in the past and present [Page 295] times, much regard was paid to his judgment, by many who attended at the meetings held on the occasion: and his solicitude for its settle­ment to the advantage of the labouring mi­ners, as well as for allowing the adventurers, and others engaged in the trade, a prospect of a reasonable profit, was such, that under the continued exertion of his faculties for several weeks, his strength evidently declined.

The Circular yearly meeting falling this year in Cornwall, had been at our spring quar­terly meeting appointed to be held at Truro, the 7th, 8th, and 9th of the Eighth month, which was several weeks earlier than it was customary to hold that meeting. This had oc­casioned some demur in the minds of some friends, who doubted whether those of the distant counties might be so generally at liber­ty to attend it, as if it should be held in its usual course; and some friends gave a prefer­ence to another town for the meeting. But my husband having attentively considered when and where to fix this important solemnity, un­der a concern that the All-wise Director would deign to influence the minds of Friends there­in, was steady in his judgment that both the time and place proposed were right: and the event shewed that he was not mistaken. He with other friends were engaged in preparing accommodation for this meeting, and the town's people were very ready to assist. A large booth was erected to hold it in, and [Page 296] other places were procured, if that should not be sufficient to contain the people.

I was yet in a feeble state, and as it appear­ed to me improbable that the meeting would be attended by so many ministers and friends of religious weight, from the distant counties constituting it, and other parts of the nation, as in some past years, my spirit was weighed down under a sense of the great importance of the service, and the disproportion of my natu­ral strength to the labour of so large meetings. My faith was indeed ready to fail; but I cried unto the Lord, in the language of Samson, If the testimony of his Truth might but be exalted through me as an instrument, "let me die," if it be thy will, in this great effort to over­come the Philistine nature in the people: and this proved to be the last of those general meetings which I attended. In the night be­fore we went to Truro, my dear husband was so much indisposed with the giddiness in his head, that he proposed to me to go to Truro, and leave him to take an emetic, which he hop­ed might ease his head, and to come to me the next morning. I was reluctant to leave him behind me, and it was well I did not, as the straining to vomit would probably have produced instant death. He grew bettter to­wards mid-day, and accompanied me to Tru­ro, where we met with many of our friends, and he regained his wonted cheerfulness and activity, and was very serviceable during the course of the meetings, in regulating the holding [Page 297] of them, settling the people, and taking share in the care that nothing might happen amongst our young people at the several inns, which might tend to shade the testimony of that pure Truth, which we met to propagate, from ve­ry distant parts of the nation. The concourse of people, especially of those not professing with us, was very great, and not a few of them of the higher rank. Many came far to attend the meetings, and behaved with be­coming decency, consistently with so solemn an occasion. The booth, though as large as a good voice could well extend over to be dis­tinctly heard, would not near contain the peo­ple; so that friends were obliged to hold a meeting in the afternoons of the 7th and 8th in another place.

This consequently tended to divide the mi­nisters to the several meetings, and, as I had foreseen, much of the service of the meetings in the booth devolved upon me; yet not so, but that some other ministers had an acceptable share therein. The testimony of Truth was largely and freely declared, and arose in its na­tive dignity, and clearness; so that very many not professing with us assented to the truths preached. The public meetings concluded on the 9th before dinner, under the overshadow­ing wing of Divine love, life, and power. The minds of many friends were comfortably impressed with a sense of the continued extend­ings of the heavenly Shepherd's care over us as a religious Society; as well as of his condescension [Page 298] in causing his gospel call to go forth amongst others, and they turned their faces homeward in the afternoon, in humble thankfulness.

Here I may observe, as it hath occurred to me when attending those large general meet­ings, how different in their nature and tenden­cy these meetings are, to those which are ap­pointed by professing Christians for amusement, wherein there is much noisy mirth, and unchris­tian jollity: and if in some of them, the en­tainments, in one part of the day, have an outward and pompous shew of religion, under the vain and false pretence of praising God with the voice, accompanied with instruments of musick, in the repetition of some of the most sublime and instructive parts of Scrip­ture; in another part of it, the Christian name is shamefully dishonoured, by the amuse­ments, which succeed what they call their sa­cred oratorios. I have been shocked in the consideration, of the expressions of holy men of God, who penned them as the Holy Spirit dictated them, and some awful instructive his­torical parts of Scripture, becoming prostitu­ted to the purpose of amusement; and furnish­ing occasion for many nominal Christians to as­semble, to gratify their inclinations to pride, vanity, and pompous appearances, as well as in some instances, the practising of gross wick­edness: insomuch, that it may be said with truth, the Lord of Purity abhors their religious mock­ery, and their seemingly solemn meetings are iniquity; and as such, an abomination in his [Page 299] holy eyes, who cannot be imposed upon by specious pretences, nor bribed by donations given for distressed objects, to withhold his righteous judgments; which will assuredly be executed, in their appointed season, on ‘all the proud, and those who work wicked­ness.’ How different to these (I say again and without ostentation), are the meetings, of which in the course of these memoirs I have so frequently given an account! whereto ma­ny friends resort, from very distant places and at a very considerable expense, with a view to the edifying of others by the pure doctrines which may be freely preached in their publick assemblies, and by a conduct consistent with Christian morality and rectitude; and with de­sires to be edified together in the presence of the Lord, in whose presence there is life, and at whose right hand there are pleasures, sub­lime, and everlastingly durable. My spirit worships in the sense of the foretaste of them, which I have experienced in the present state; and in the hope, which cheers in the painful seasons and afflictive occurrences attendant thereon, that finally, the immortal spirit will be solaced in the inestimable, and, by it un­merited, reward which is appointed for the righteous, and is unmixed with sorrow.

From this, I hope not ill-timed, digression, I return to the 10th of the Eighth month; when several of the ministers who had attend­ed the meetings at Truro were at ours at Re­druth: amongst whom was my friend Hawks­worth, [Page 300] worth, who came with intent to spend some time with us, in hope that we might be favour­ed together with a little rest both of body and mind, which might tend to the recruiting our strength. But alas! although this important solemnity was so well over, and my dear hus­band's engagements in temporal concerns now sat comparatively light, and we were cheered for two days, the third evinced the instability of all human comforts. On the 11th, our friend, T. Bevington of Worcester, came to pay us a short visit. He expressed an inclina­tion to have a meeting with the town's peo­ple; and my husband going, as he was accus­tomed upon such occasions, to inform some of them that a meeting would be held that even­ing, was observed to do it with rather more than common solemnity and tenderness of spi­rit. I hope the meeting was serviceable, and we spent the evening agreeably with our friends.

In the morning of the 12th, T. Bevington left his place pretty early, and my dear hus­band arose before me in seemingly usual health, and ate some breakfast, but was sud­denly seized with an acute pain in his breast. He came and found me dressing, and told me that the pain was extreme, but said that he conceived it was only on the muscles, and might be rheumatick, but that he could cover the spot affected with his finger. He chose to undress and go into bed, and complained of cold. I sent for an apothecary who appre­hended [Page 301] no danger in his case, and gave him a small dose of paregoric elixir, which operated to quiet him and stupify his pain. I left a ser­vant with him, and got some breakfast, and returning found him rather inclined to sleep, so, having some family concerns to attend to, I left him again. The maid who was left with him said he complained of a return of his pain and she soon perceived such an alteration as oc­casioned her to ring the bell violently, on which my friend Lydia Hawksworth and I has­tened to the chamber. She came soon enough to see him draw his last breath; but my lame­ness not permitting me to make so much speed, and the maid preventing me from immediately approaching his bed-side, I saw only a breath­less corpse.

Thus ended the valuable life of my dearly beloved William Phillips, in the manner he had repeatedly expressed a desire it might end, that is suddenly; though not altogether unex­pectedly by himself, as may have been noticed by what I have noted before we set out on our late journey. He intimated to me, that his prospects in regard to service in the present state were much closed; and that in respect to the future he had no cloud before him; and he would speak of the solemn close with that ease that discovered he expected no sting of conscience in his death: but the reason he gave for wishing (in submission to the Divine will) that it might be sudden, was, that he had felt so little pain in passing through time, [Page 302] until he had attained the common age of man, that he doubted whether if tried with it in the awful season of death, he should support it with that calm, patient dignity, which graces the close of a Christian life.

By appearances upon his body when it was cold, it was evident that a large blood vessel had broken in his breast; although not the least indication of such an event appeared by any discharge from the mouth, whilst he was alive. His desire of attending the meeting at Truro was gratified, which had not been the case had it been held in its usual course. Nei­ther is it probable that I could have attended and laboured therein with that strength of mind I was favoured to do, had this important stroke been executed before that meeting: for although I was preserved from sinking into a state of condemnable sorrow; the shock at­tending it could not be sustained without my already much enfeebled nature suffering by it. We had lived in the tender endearing connec­tion of marriage somewhat more than thirteen years, after a friendship of about three-and-twenty. The tie of natural affection betwixt us was strong, arising from a similarity of sen­timents, which was strengthened by an infi­nitely higher connection. Indeed he was a man who commanded love, esteem, and respect, from his numerous relations, friends, and ac­quaintance, in their different ranks and sta­tions. He was extensively useful without prid­ing himself with it, and he commanded the [Page 303] assent of the judgment of those, amongst whom he might be looked upon as a principal, in the transactions of business, by sound rea­soning rather than by overbearing. Such was his publick character, drawn, as far as it goes, not beyond the life, though by his af­flicted affectionate widow.

She also best knew his private virtues, and engaging manners, exemplified in his family connections, friendships, and the general tenor of his conduct; and therefore may say, that he was a kind master, an affectionate father, and a warm and steady friend; always ready to serve his relations, friends, and neighbours, by advice, or as an executor, or referee in disputed cases. An affectionately tender hus­band—Ah, me! how shall I delineate this part of his character! Bound to me by the endearing ties of love and friendship, height­ened by religious sympathy, his respect as well as affection, was apparent to our friends and acquaintance. His abilities to assist me in my religious engagements were conspicuous; for although he had no share in the ministerial labour, he was ready to promote it. His na­tural temper, though quick, was soft and complaisant; a man of exact order in his busi­ness, and strict oeconomy, even to minute cir­cumstances; yet prudently liberal in his ex­penses, and charitable to the poor.

In his religious character, he was firmly fix­ed in his principles agreeably to his profession, and concerned to act consistently with them; [Page 304] but, clothed with charity towards all men, he rejoiced if a reformation of mind and manners was wrought amongst mankind, whoever were the instruments of it. His experience in the spirituality of religion was deeper than even some of his friends might conceive; as it was sometimes concealed under the veil of cheer­fulness, which predominated in his constituti­on; or secreted, through his aversion to make any ostentatious shew of it; but when called up to some services in Christ's church, it was evident that he had been instructed in his school. His faith and trust in the Divine power, wisdom, and providence, were strong; which enabled him to sustain disappointment and worldly losses with firmness. In this he was tried in some instances, to a degree which would have shaken many minds; but he would say, If a part is gone, I have many mercies left to be thankful for; and he therefore en­deavoured to preserve his wonted calmness and cheerfulness.

If any peruse what I have written, who had but partial knowledge of him, they may perhaps conclude me too abundant in encomi­ums upon him. But there are who can sub­scribe to their truth, and who might add their [Page 305] testimony to his worth and abilities as a man, and a useful member of the community at large, as well as an honourable one of the re­ligious society of Friends: and if his descen­dants in the natural line, succeed him in that of virtue and piety, they will value this at­tempt to delineate his character.

My dear brother was fast declining in his health. He had lately received an alarm, by a stroke of the Palsy, to trim his lamp, unto which I hope he attended. He was now in part recovered, but in the succeeding spring was revisited by that distressing disorder, which quickly terminated his life; in the close where­of he was favoured with the cheering prospect of his immortal spirit's centering in everlasting blessedness. He was endowed with a very good natural understanding, which in the lat­ter part of his life was so much employed for the assistance of his friends and neighbours, both of the town and country wherein he re­sided, that he had as much business in accom­modating disputes about property, and other acts of kind aid as his strength would well bear. He died beloved, and his loss was re­gretted by both the rich and poor.