SOME ACCOUNT, &c.
MARY NEALE, otherwise Peisley, daughter of Peter and Rachel Peisley, was born in the year 1717, at Ballymore in the county of Kildare, in Ireland, and educated in the society of the people called Quakers; but a disposition to keep company unrestrained by the cross of Christ, let her from truth's simplicity in manners and behaviour, whereof she thus expresses herself:
I count it an infinite mercy and high favour, that the omnipotent God suffered not the thread of my life to be cut, during the many years that I lived in disobedience to his holy will; and tho' often, by the operation of his grace, inwardly touched and convicted of my errors, and the veil so far rent from off my understanding, as to let me see that I stood on the brink of ruin, yet did I as often suffer the enemy and adversary of my soul again to darken my understanding, and benumb my spiritual feeling; and the [Page 8]tumultuous noises, pleasures and allurements of this world stifled the intelligence of the still small voice, which would have directed me, saying, this is the way, walk in it. Our meeting also was favoured with a living and powerful ministry, which I often slighted; thus have I, with my hard and impenitent heart, stoned his prophets, and by my unbelief and uncircumcised spirit, persecuted them that were sent to declare and proclaim the glad tidings of the gospel; to invite and call to those who were in captivity, held by the chains of sin, to come away to the glorious liberty of the Truth. I have to remember, as an inexpressible favour and mercy to my soul, that in the height of all my vanity and stupidity, I was not suffered to run into the gross enormities of the world: I was kept from those loud, crying, hardening, black crimes, which, had I run into, might so highly provoke my Creator, as to have caused him to say in his wrath, "Thou shalt not enter into my rest."
A short time before my conversion I had a fall from my horse, by which I was apparently in danger of having my neck disjointed, and a sudden end put to my life; as soon as I arose on my feet and recovered my senses, the Lord by his [Page 9]grace and good Spirit, showed me clearly that I was not in a fit condition to meet him, the just and holy Judge of heaven and earth, and caused me solidly to consider the dismal consequence of being hurried off the stage of mortality in an unprepared state, the impression of which never left my mind till God, by his grace, had made me more fit for his kingdom, the glory of which be given to his everlasting name.
About this time two friends in the service of truth, appointed a meeting, within the compass of that in which she resided. Their awful, reverent sitting before the Lord, waiting upon him for his presence and aid, struck her in an unusual manner, raising in her mind a fervent enquiry after the revelation of the Father, through his Son. She had often heard tell of the comforts of the holy Spirit, the instruction of the light that comes by Jesus Christ, and the way of spiritual worship: but still remained a stranger to the true manner of seeking and breathing after it, in her own experience. She has expressed how deeply her mind was affected, by the silent and humble waiting of the before-mentioned friends, and by the operation of the universal principle of grace shed in her heart, that she was aroused to [Page 10]enquire for herself; and as she pressed to wisdom's gate her seeking mind was satisfied.
During this dispensation of inward enquiry, she was helped forward to diligence by the ministry of some of the Lord's messengers, who spoke comfortably to her state, and encouraged her in perseverance and well-doing, speaking prophetically, that the Lord would raise up in that meeting some that should bear his name among the Gentiles, and be the messenger of peace and glad tidings to the people, if obedience and faithfulness to the heavenly manifestations were kept to.
By an humble resignation to the divine will to form the vessel in what manner the heavenly potter pleased, the work went forward prosperously, and she appears to have been an instance of great fervency and devotedness to whatever the divine influence dictated, watchful to hear the voice, and obedient to fulfil the command, tho' it was in giving up that which might be as a right hand or a right eye.
Her entrance into the work of the ministry was about the beginning of the year 1744, near which time she had unexpected domestic trials, which brought her very [Page 11]low in mind, from a sense of the singularity of her situation, but her trust being in the Lord, she was eminently supported, and writes thus to a friend.
An opportunity presented for her to reside in the family of a friend, within the compass of Mountmelick meeting, of whose daughter she had the care; in this station she continued for some time, until she apprehended herself thereby deprived, in some degree, of a full liberty to exercise the gift received, and to live to him alone that had quickened her anew in Christ Jesus; at which time she writes thus to a relation: ‘I am resolved, by the blessed assistance of Israel's God, not to bury that talent, which he has given me, in the earth, nor to quit the occupying of it for any outward occupation; better would it be for me to wander as the prophets formerly did—destitute, distressed, and naked, [Page 13]than to sell an unfading inheritance, for any prospect of advantage here; for I am sure to drudge for the sustenance of the body, as do the beasts, and to live for no nobler ends, than to eat, drink and sleep: such a life is not worth living for; not that I am against moderate, honest industry, for I am convinced it is good for both body and mind.’
About this time a concern attended her mind, to visit friends of the three provinces, which she pretty generally performed in company with Elizabeth Tomey of Limerick, in sweet unity and concord. They met with low times and seasons, deep baptism of spirit, and travailed for and with the seed, and at times were set at liberty, in the authority and power of truth, to minister unto the various classes of the people. Of the quarterly meeting of Ulster province held in Lurgan, she gives the following account: ‘We attended the meeting of ministers and elders, where we had close work, but the power of the Lord upheld us above the fear of man. Next day had some encouragement to the faithful and well minded, but could not that day reach the libertine spirit, but waited for renewed strength from the Lord, to engage against the Goliaths, who defy the armies of the living God, The day after, [Page 14]being First-day, we sat in a low, humble, depending state, until the Lord gave the spirit of supplication, after which his power was set over all, and testimony borne to his name, and transgressors were showed their errors in the demonstration of the Lord's spirit and power.’
After this journey she went to reside with a relation in Borris, from whence she writes as follows: ‘I am at times concerned for the whole bulk of mankind, but in a more particular manner for my kindred according to the flesh, and especially those who were my companions in my former vanities, as well knowing what the life I then led would have ended in, had not my God, in his infinite mercy, opened my eyes, and stopped my race to ruin; and though I was in the broad way that leads to destruction, yet was I innocent of, and free from, the gross enormities that are in the world, and because thereof the enemy persuaded me, that I was safe enough; but alas! I found I was living as without God in the world, in forgetfulness of him; a stranger and unregenerate; in short, that I was an enemy to God, and under his just wrath and displeasure; and now I may say, that I am jealous with a godly jealousy, that thou art yet in that unregenerate state and [Page 15]condition: thou wilt say, perhaps, thou art not called to the same work that I have been called to, viz. the work of the ministry, and have no need to know what I have experienced. If this should be suggested to thy mind, it is of the enemy, for if thou hast not been called to bear a public testimony, thou hast, I doubt not, been called to holiness, without which we are told, "no man shall see the Lord." Thou hast the same pure, holy God to fear, the same subtil, unwearied enemy to war against, a soul as precious, and that must abide as long as mine, either in happiness or misery, therefore, it behoves thee to be as strict in thy life, and as holy in thy conversation, as any other, that so thou mayest be a terror to evil doers, and a praise and encourager of them that do well. For I am sure if we be lovers and true followers of Jesus, we cannot take pleasure in hearing his great name profaned, and taken in vain: and the company that are guilty of such things we should carefully avoid, as we would an infectious person.’
‘It is, I think, impossible to be frequent in ill company, without being somewhat leavened into the same spirit, except we keep a strict watch, and have our minds armed with the pure armour of light and [Page 16]righteousness. This alone can make us proof against the fiery darts of the wicked; which insensibly pierce and wound the unwary soul. It is our interest and duty, all in our power, carefully to avoid temptations, for those that we must inevitably meet with are enough for us poor, weak creatures, to grapple with. Take care of poisoning thy mind with vain and idle books, for I know them, by experience, to be very pernicious; let thy leisure hours be spent in retirement, and reading the holy scriptures, with other good books. Remember thou art the head of a family, and it behoves thee to have a superadded care, for if thy example be not good, thou wilt have much to answer for. Watch over thy sisters in love, and be not an instrument of bringing evil company in their way: there is an evil thou art guilty of that is visible to more than me, and that is thy slighting and neglecting week-day meetings: If thou had appointed a day to meet any of those styled noblemen of the earth, and thou slighted and neglected the appointments for weeks, yea, months together, would it not be a great affront and indignity to them? yea, and I am persuaded thou would not do it, for fear of offending them; and is the King of Kings and Lord of heaven and earth, less noble, [Page 17]less discerning, when he is slighted and neglected? I observe thou hast time and leisure to ride many miles to sports and diversions, such as hunting, horse-racing, and other sights; does not this show thou art a lover of pleasure more than a lover of God, such as the apostle declares are dead while they live? Dear cousin, bear with my dealing thus plainly; I have no view in it, but the good of thy immortal soul, and the ease of my own mind, and I sincerely wish that thou and I may be prepared for our great and final change.’
‘We have daily instances of young and strong being snatched away in their bloom as with their bones full of marrow: and why may it not be our case? we cannot promise ourselves one hour to come, the present time is only ours, and Oh! it is a dismal consequence to launch into eternity unprepared, where the worm never dieth, nor is the fire quenched: If we are so fond of a few transitory pleasures in this world, how can we bear to be shut out from eternal felicity, and doomed to everlasting misery? I beseech thee solidly to consider these things, and I pray the God of love and mercy to give thee a wise and understanding heart.’
[Page 18]About the 8th month 1747, she returned to Mountmelick, to the house of her friend where she before resided. Her continuance here was for a few months, during which time she was attacked with a disorder in her stomach, which occasioned great weakness, and brought her very low. In a letter to a friend she thus expresses herself: ‘I gratefully acknowledge thy unmerited kindness in the concern thou showest for my health; I am sensible it is our indispensible duty to endeavour to preserve life and health, by all lawful means that Providence is pleased to afford; were it not so, I often think, that mine is not worth caring for; instead of being useful to any, I fear I shall be a burden to the creation, and miss the end of my being; surely none whom he hath sent into life, and visited with his matchless love and kindness, is more weak and unworthy than I am; and were it so that he, by his divine power, was pleased to make use of me, in any good work, it was all his own, of and from him alone; I could have no part in it, but as passive clay in his hand; and blessed be his name, he is not limited, nor his power confined to any instruments; he that found me in a polluted state, can raise up and sanctify many more for his work and service, and that he may in these dark and perilous [Page 19]days, is the travail of my afflicted soul.’ During this dispensation she wrote as follows to her brother, who had frequenty occasioned much anxiety and disquietude to her mind:
Dear brother, for so thou art by nature to me, would to God thou wert so in a two-fold sense, viz. by adoption or new creation in Christ, which far exceeds all the ties of affinity or consanguinity, and will last beyond the grave, never, never to be dissolved; may thou happily experience this, before time to thee here be no more, for which end Providence has, in matchless love and condescension, wonderfully prolonged thy days, amidst imminent dangers and difficulties: may this be deeply pondered and wisely laid to heart by thee; otherwise it will add weight in the balance against thee, in the great and notable day of account, that hastens on us both. Thou knowest, dear brother, it has often been my concern thus to remind and call thee to the important business of life, and thy neglect of it has almost discouraged me from further attempts; this may perhaps be the last; and I do, with all the ardency my soul is capable of, joined with natural affection, earnestly desire it may have the wished-for effect. I am in a very poor state of health, and little human probability of my being restored. [Page 20]My disorder is attended with acute pain, but blessed for ever be the name of my God; patience equivalent thereto has been administered. How it may be with me as to life or death I cannot say; but this is my greatest consolation, and such a one as is beyond the power of my tongue to express, or pen to set forth, viz. that I have not spent my health and strength in the gratification of my passions, or sensual appetites, but in some degree in the pursuit of that which now stands by me, and will go with me beyond time, a good conscience towards God, whose love I feel to flow in my soul, in such a manner as to admit of no doubt, that he is my friend, or, in other words, that he is in me, and I in him, and will be so to all eternity, if I forsake him not: Believe me, brother, when I tell thee, at a time when dissimulation must vanish, at a season when we are best capable of knowing ourselves, and judging of all things in the clearest manner, when the mists of the world are removed from before our eyes, and eternity presented to our view—at such a time as this I may tell thee, I am not afraid to die; nor is the sound of mortality and eternity frightful to my ears; no, I cannot look on death as a king of terrors, but as a welcome messenger, who comes with a happy release from all my [Page 21]trials, temptations, and afflictions, to summon me to an eternity of unmixed felicity, to that which I have most loved and delighted in for years past, though favoured with but a glimpse and foretaste of it, whilst my soul is loaded with its companion, flesh; but what will it be when the face of the Divinity will be for ever unveiled, faith turned into vision, and the full fruition come to? These are words of truth and soberness. I know there is a kingdom of heaven, because I already feel it within me, Christ in me, as said the apostle, the hope of glory; and because he lives, I live also; not merely an animal life which must perish; but a life hid with Christ in God. Without a new creation in Christ it is impossible for us to enjoy God, or, in the words of his son Christ Jesus, see or enter the kingdom of heaven; had we not bodies taken from the earth it would be impossible we should enjoy or live by the same; and if we have not a new birth begotten or formed of God in us, it is likewise impossible we should live to or in him; more I might say to illustrate this important truth to thy understanding, if bodily strength would admit, but unless thou centrest down in true sincerity and humility, to the pure light of Christ in thyself, by which alone what is to be known [Page 22]of God is manifest in man, these things, with all the other truths of the gospel, will for ever remain a mystery to thee, as it has done to ages and generations, and the wise and prudent of this world; but is revealed unto the babes that are begotten and born of the incorruptible seed and word of God: I conclude thy affectionate sister in the hope, and Oh! that I could say, fellowship of the gospel.
About this time she felt a weighty concern to visit the churches in England; and having obtained the concurrence of her friends, accompanied by Elizabeth Hutchinson, she set forward from Mountmelick in the 7th month, 1748. They attended the province meeting held at Carlow, and went from thence to Baltibois, where they had a blessed helping meeting. The testimony went forth to those of other societies. They had a meeting at Timahoe, and went thence to Dublin, where they had refreshing and comfortable meetings, the Lord's eternal truth being over all: "We were," she expresses in a journal kept of this journey, ‘comforted one in another, and enabled renewedly to bless the name of the Lord. The 27th of 7mo. we took ship [Page 23]for Whitehaven, and landed there the 28th; the 30th went to Pardshaw, where was held the quarterly meeting for Cumberland; the public meeting proved a glorious one, and was a time of solid worship: the testimony of truth was exalted over all, and the everlasting gospel freely preached. After this meeting I had great consolation of soul, and we spent the evening in company with several friends, in agreeable, edifying conversation, and in much freedom and openness of spirit. Next day, being the first of the week, we went to their general meeting at Cockermouth, the 3d to Whitehaven, low and depressed in spirit. Next day had a meeting there, in which I cleared myself; was led therein to set forth the call and qualification of a true gospel minister; left it in peace of mind, but much spent in body with the service thereof. The 5th had a meeting in Bronghton, where we were led to speak closely to some who had been visited in their young years, and were now grown lukewarm and indifferent. The 6th had a good meeting at Isell, though small. Next day were at Keswick, the service chiefly to those not of our society; had some close things to deliver to those that were. The 9th at Allonby, whither came many friends from other meetings, to [Page 24]whom truth was fully declared. From hence to Holme, where we had a silent meeting, and understood they seldom sat free from disturbers. The 10th had a low season at Kirkbride, the 11th at Bolton, the 12th at Wigton, which was large, but low as to the dominion of life; next day had a meeting at Moorehouse, things close and hard to deliver; at Carlisle, we had a good open meeting, my mind being much enlarged amongst them, yet felt a concern rest with me to have another meeting in that city, which friends readily agreed to. The 15th had a meeting at Kirklington, which was large and satisfactory, and another at Carlisle in the evening: in consequence of the concern already mentioned, there came a great number of the town's folk; when I got there I found myself so weak in body and poor in spirit, and the people so unsettled in their minds, that I almost feared I should not be able to answer the service of the meeting. I earnestly desired that the cause and testimony of truth might not suffer, let me suffer what I might; I had not sat long, till I found a flow of doctrine open in my mind; I stood up in the fear of the Lord, and the people soon became quiet and solid; I was strengthened beyond my expectation, and the meeting ended well; [Page 25]and blessed be the name of the Lord, I had great peace and satisfaction after it was over. Went hence to Scotby, and had a meeting; so to Ann Greenup's, and was at the monthly meeting in that quarter, where my mind was under much suffering; but as I waited, the power of truth arose, and I found ease and liberty of mind; was led in a very close manner; the seed had dominion, and the authority of truth was over all. Went next day to Mosedale, and had a travailing season in that meeting: thence to Terrill, and had a poor meeting there; thence to Isaac Thompson's, being very poor in spirit and low in mind. Next day, we rested, spending the day much in retirement, which proved very helpful to me; and as I waited on the Lord to have my spiritual strength renewed, felt a concern to have a meeting with the inhabitants, and one in the afternoon at Penrith on First-day. After I had well considered and weighed these things, the friend, with whom we lodged, said; they were a people of no religion, which did not discourage me, for it immediately arose in my mind, that, they had the more need of help, and that, perhaps, they might more readily receive the truth, than those who were more bigotted to ceremonies. We went to Penrith next morning; the friends [Page 26]asked me if I would have an afternoon meeting, I replied that, I could better tell at the conclusion of the first meeting. We went to meeting and it proved a good one, for truth had dominion and was over all; then I felt strength to have an afternoon meeting appointed, which was large and to great satisfaction, some of the town's folks being at the forenoon meeting, and the town pretty large, the report spread and the people came till the house could hold no more, with convenience; after this I spoke of the meeting which my mind was drawn to propose at Amenbridge, where a friend said there had been none before; friends seemed willing, but knew of no place to hold it in, except the house where we lodged, which was large enough, and would have done well for the purpose, but the friend said he could not admit of it, for fear of his landlord, who was a priest; I said, I could not force their hearts nor houses, but hoped, as I had laid it before them, I should be made easy; and if not, I did not doubt that if I went to some of those who professed not with us, I should be accommodated; he said, there was a town a mile off, that he thought would answer better for a meeting, and that their town's people would go thither; I told him I dare not go in my own will to have meetings [Page 27]where I pleased, but where truth led me; he replied, if the folks of Penrith heard of the meeting, the streets, much less the house, would not hold them; then, said I, we may go to the fields. This, I believe, stirred him up—he went away, and in a short time returned, and told me not to be uneasy, I should have a meeting; and accordingly it was appointed to begin at 6 o'clock next evening at another friend's house in the town, which proved quite too small. They made all the room they could in two apartments and a hall, but many were at the windows who could not get in. We had a meeting at Strickland in the forenoon, which had before been appointed. When I came to see and sit amongst the people at Amenbridge, they seemed so ignorant of our manner of worship and principles, that my faith almost failed to doing any service, or administering help to them. After some time of waiting for divine aid, I stood up, and they appeared to me as still and attentive while I was speaking, as ever I observed any assembly. I laboured amongst them till my natural strength failed, and after meeting was over, I had great inward peace and comfort. Next day we waited for their monthly meeting at Aldstone, and paid a visit to a friend's family, where we had a [Page 28]sweet consolatory opportunity; and same evening went towards Northumberland. The 25th we continued our journey, a very difficult and dangerous road; much of it mountainous, and though reckoned but 14 miles, it took from 9 in the morning till 6 in the evening, saye that we stopped a little to refresh ourselves: my mind was preserved tranquil and easy. Next day we had a hard, laborious meeting, but I was mercifully helped through, to the ease of my own mind, The following day went to Cornwood, where had a meeting. The 27th rode to Allendale, and the way being rough and mountainous, it was dangerous. My companion was thrown from her horse, and I seemed in imminent danger, the way being narrow, and a considerable precipice just by where my horse stood, which being interrupted by my companion's falling, was very uneasy; but at length, through the merciful interposition of Providence, she was taken up, very little hurt, and they got me safe off my horse. We arrived wearied with fright and fatigue. In a short time friends got together, and we had a comfortable, good meeting, which amply made amends for all we went through. The 28th had a large meeting. My Spirit was under deep suffering before I went to it, and for some [Page 29]time after but, through divine aid, I fully cleared myself. When I came to my lodging, I was under a baptism of spirit, and could not tell the cause. I examined myself, and brought things to the closest scrutiny, to know whether I had done or committed any thing contrary to truth, but could find no condemnation. At dinner, I felt the spirit of supplication, which I gave way to, and found my mind free and easy. Next morning the 29th set out for Benfield; it was such hard weather, friends would have had us stay, but as the meeting was appointed I could not be easy so to do. It blew such a violent storm, that it was with difficulty we could sit our horses, or they keep their feet, being several times blown out of the path. It was 14 miles over a black moor, where there was no shelter; our guides missed the way twice, once on the open moor. My companion, who was a young traveller, was discouraged, stopped several times, wept and said, she thought she could hold it no longer. I encouraged her to hold out to the end, and told her, there was no abiding there. By the Lord's mercy, my mind was kept quiet and still, and about 7 at night we got safe to our quarters, where we had an hearty welcome. The meeting was appointed to begin at 9 [Page 30]next morning; it was small, but greatly to my satisfaction. I was led in particular to some person who was under a temptation to join in marriage with one of another society, and likewise to declare that I had no outward information. After meeting, an elderly friend told me, that I had hit the mark to an hair's breadth, for there was a young man, whom he knew was under such a temptation, and had been advised against it. Went that night to Newcastle, upon Tyne, 11 miles, staid there several days, had a good meeting on 5th day, being 3d of 9th mo. though some states hard to speak to, there being some deistical principles, I believe, cherished amongst them; and so close was the testimony, that they could scarcely bear to sit. After this meeting, a friend told me I had spoken by revelation, but was so prudent as to say no more, as we were to stay until after the next First-day, to equip ourselves for continuing our journey. In the interim visited the aged, who were confined with weakness. First day truth eminently helped with its ancient beauty and brightness, dispelling all mists and clouds; a glorious time it was to the comfort and edification of the church; the afternoon meeting was very full of friends, and those of other societies. It proved to me [Page 31]a sweet consolating time; the spring of life being opened for my own help and furtherance in best things; but had not any thing to communicate to the people. The 6th went to Shields, and had a small meeting. In the evening went to Sunderland. The 7th had a meeting in the forenoon, to an increase of comfort, and praise to him that exalts his own testimony in the hearts of his children, and gives tongue and utterance to magnify his name and power: Had a refreshing season in the family where we lodged, the Lord breaking to us the bread of life for the nourishment of our souls, and after had an evening meeting appointed which was large and to good satisfaction. The 8th had a meeting at Shotton. The 9th at Durham, the 10th at Auckland, which was a good meeting, and I felt a concern to have another there in the afternoon, of which I acquainted the friend with whom we lodged; he pleaded many excuses; I told him, I apprehended it was not the business of a minister to proceed contrary to the minds of friends, especially one so young as I; and that, as I had told my concern, I hoped I should be easy; and, if not, I could but come back again. My mind was soon relieved of its burden; as the Lord my God knew my willingness to obey him, he required no [Page 32]impossibility of me. Next day went six miles to Raby, and had a large meeting there, several friends coming from divers places to meet us; but that spirit that obstructs the spring of the ministry, was amongst them, and made it hard to speak; though, by Divine assistance, I was enabled to clear myself, and came away with peace of mind. My companion was so ill that she was detained from meeting two days. The 13th went to Lartington to meeting, and returned in the afternoon. Next day to Darlington, and had a meeting there the 15th; it ended well though hard in the beginning. The day following went to Stockton; had a full meeting, and came away in peace. The 17th had a meeting at Yarme; it was small, several young people came from Stockton, and it proved upon the whole to good satisfaction. Next day was at a small meeting, where sat a pretty while in silence and a state of mourning for the cause of truth. I eased my mind amongst them, and came away in peace. The 21st had a meeting at Gisborough, and 23d at Mooresome. The 24th was at the monthly meeting held at Castletown, where were many plain, honest, sincere friends, and we were comforted in the Lord and in one another. Next evening at Hinderweil [Page 33]and Roxby. The 26th went to Whitby, and that evening had meeting with several friends who came to see us. Next day attended a large meeting; my spirit was under great suffering, and continued so until the afternoon, though I had delivered in the forenoon meeting, what appeared to be given me; but in the afternoon the power of truth was in dominion, and every opposite spirit made subject; things were spoken to closely and clearly, and Babylon threshed as with a sharp instrument, that she could not get from under. Then was my spirit made easy, and my soul rejoiced in the Lord, who is worthy, and prayer, praises, and thanksgiving, ascended unto him that lives for ever. Had the company of several friends this evening, which was spent in, I hope, profitable conversation. The 28th had a meeting at Stentondale. The friends in this quarter are but few, I think eight families composed the meeting; it was with these few a memorable season of humbling gladness. Came to Scarborough in the evening, and next day had a large and satisfactory meeting. In a friend's family where we spent the evening, had a reaching, affecting season, manifested by much brokenness of spirit. The 1st of 10th month had a meeting at Pickerington, [Page 34]and the 2d at Kirkbymoorside, which was large, and attended with the going forth of some seasoning instruction. Went after meeting to John Richardson's, a man near 84 years of age, very remarkable for sweetness and liveliness of spirit; full of love, clear in his understanding, and his memory strong. He sat up till late with us, relating the wonderful dealings of the Lord with him, which was truly edifying, and such as I had never heard before. He was quite open with us, which I looked upon as a favour from the Lord; I wept much at parting with him, and when we took leave, he desired the Lord might bless us. Next day went to Malton. The day following had a large meeting, and passed through a laborious exercise amongst them. The evening was spent to spiritual profit, in waiting for a renewal of strength, and imparting some of the bread handed to my soul to others, whom I visited in their families: left this place with peace of mind. The 6th was at a monthly meeting at Bridlington: it was a season of suffering, my mind very low after it; which caused an examination; but finding nothing to accuse myself of, was made easy. The 7th we were at Hornsea meeting; the Lord's eternal power broke in upon us, to the comfort and refreshment [Page 35]of our souls, and it was a time of solemn worship. Next day we were at a meeting at Oustwick, to our great comfort, and solid refreshment. The 9th at East-end. The 10th had an evening meeting at Hull, to profit and edification, through the aboundings of that life which enlightens and sanctifies. The 11th went to Beverly, a town where no friend lives, having felt a particular draft to have a meeting there; several friends from Hull attended, and the people flocked in until the house was near filled. I stood up and began to speak; but people rushed in so, that I was under the necessity of stopping, until they were settled; I then proceeded, and a glorious meeting it was, the divine power and authority of truth commanding silence throughout the multitude. Next day we went to visit a few at Skitby that were lately convinced, with whom we had a good meeting, and some open, profitable conversation. The 13th we went to Northcave, friends from several parts adjacent came thither: which made the meeting large, but not open and lively; we had hard labour, yet ended pretty well. The 14th had a meeting at Howdon, there were but few friends, and some of the town's people, who being in the Ishmaelitish, mocking spirit, the true seed did not reign amongst them. The 15th [Page 36]were at Ratcliff. The 16th at Thorn. The 17th at Braithwaite, and the 18th again at Thorn. These meetings were generally small, and low as to the life of religion, which caused laborious work to get down to the seed, so as to minister to the states of the people. The 20th had a meeting at Beltoft, which proved satisfactory; some who were not of our society attended, that were very solid and attentive; some were tendered, and several came in the evening, with a desire of having a meeting with us; but feeling no concern for it, I could not encourage it. 22d visited the meeting of Blyth, in Notinghamshire, which began at two o'clock, I was led very closely in it, had to remind them of the practice of our elders; and told them, if they would search from whence that custom of deferring meetings until afternoon, had its origin, they would find it was not in the truth. It ended well, in the sweet consolating love of the Lord my God. The friend we lodged with, not being at meeting, but engaged in his shop, I had some close discourse with him, concerning his duty to God; at first he seemed to put it off, but was brought to acquiesce with what I said. Next day had a small, but good meeting at Wamsworth; had a loose, libertine spirit to speak to; which the authority of truth helped me [Page 37]through with, to the enlargement of peace in my own bosom, and the exaltation of that power, which, when it rules, causes the righteous to rejoice. The 25th being First-day, was at Pontefract meeting, which seemed very weak and dwarfish, as to the life of religion; their undue liberty in externals, manifesting that their dwellings were not with the humble seed, that crucifies to the world, and tarnishes its beauty. Had little to communicate, yet felt a revival of light and strength to my own state. I had a concern to have a meeting with those not of our society, a great number attended, many of whom were light and vain, but while I was exercised in speaking, they were mostly quiet and attentive, and I hope the opportunity was to edification. The 26th had a meeting at Selby, which was but small. That evening went to York, and attended the quarterly meeting, which began at 5 o'clock, it was a season of travail and exercise to a living remnant. Next morning, at 9, the meeting of ministers and elders began, when the baptizing power of the Lord was witnessed by the faithful, and, through the succeeding meetings, help was graciously afforded, and the church was edified.’
[Page 38]Her written memoirs contained particular accounts of the meetings visited throughout England, which were omitted for brevity sake (having given the above specimen of her travels and baptisms) except one particular she mentions on her visit to Yorkshire.
The following letter was written to a friend from Bradford, in Yorkshire, 2d of the 11th month, 1748.
A few days ago thy acceptable letter reached me at the city of York, which I read with a mixture of satisfaction and sorrow: satisfaction to find, that thou still retainest thy love to the eternal excellency; and sorrow, that the powers of darkness should still so far prevail, as to cause such struggles of soul, and sore conflicts of spirit, as thou speakest of: but I have not the least doubt of thy deliverance, and firmly believe thy God will magnify and exalt his own divine power in thy soul; and make bare his holy arm for thy salvation, by revealing it in thee, an unfailing preserver in every needful time. This I write not altogether from myself, nor the impulse of friendship and gratitude; it is from a degree of that assurance and confidence, which truth has at this juncture communicated. It is reasonable [Page 39]to think by thy complaint, the time of thy release is at hand; it was so with Israel when they were to be brought out of that dark land; their task-masters were harder, and their burdens made heavier; for, I believe, there has no temptation befallen thee, but what has been witnessed by thy brethren who have trodden the same steps, even through the region and shadow of death; by the gates of hell, yea, out of the belly of hell have some called as Jonah did, and He heard them. His righteous ear is not grown heavy that he cannot hear, but for the sighing of the poor, and groaning of the needy soul, he will yet arise; and then it is that all our enemies are scattered; one enabled to chase a thousand, and two to put ten thousand to flight. Though, it must be confessed, it is a day of darkness, famine and distress, yea, thick darkness, that may be felt; yet blessed be the name of our God, he is as a Goshen to his children, giving them light in their habitations, and setting a mark upon them that sigh and mourn for the abominations of the people. Thou seemest willing to give me an idea of thy spiritual state and condition, by an outward representation; but I think I may say, I have both seen and felt it, by sinking down below all that is of the creature, to the pure humble seed of [Page 40]life; where the visions of light are seen, and the voice of the great oracle heard, distinct from any other. Here have I found thee present, in him that is omnipresent, and tenderly sympathized with thy soul, according to my small measure. In this do I desire to have our friendship renewed, and fellowship kept steadfast, which is with the Father and the Son.
I take kind thy seasonable warning to watchfulness, which I surely stand in need of, in this time that drowsiness and spiritual lethargy have generally infected mankind. Thou wilt, perhaps, like to hear an account of my spiritual progress, and travel Zion-wards, and of the states of the churches here, so far as my sight can reach; and I may say, it has been a real grief and affliction to my mind, to see the desolation, darkness, and insensibility that generally prevail; having been made to go mourning on my way, with this language in my soul, Lord, to whom hast thou sent me? where shall I find thy flock and family upon earth? for I see very few who like even to hear or speak of thee; and, surely, if thy love had the pre-eminence, out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth would speak, or, at least, the soul love to wait in silence for thy divine appearance. But alas! [Page 41]many seem to have nothing further to enquire about, than whence we came? whither we go? our names, or if we be married? to which I often answer, I hope I have been honourably espoused to one husband, but they are quite ignorant of him whom my soul loveth, and of my meaning. Yet although it be thus, there is a living remnant in this part of the world, but under great suffering and oppression, with which I have been made deeply to sympathize, and have greatly admired the Lord's goodness and condescending love; his forbearance and suffering to a disobedient and gainsaying people, not willing that they should perish.
As to my own particular, I find the truth of that saying, that "they who preach the gospel, live by it," in a spiritual sense; and though the Lord has been pleased at times to cause his candle to shine upon my head, and clothe me with his royal robes, yet I often witness a being entirely emptied, stripped, and destitute almost of daily bread, and have had, as Mordecai, to go down and sit at the king's gate; all which I see is for my good; for when a cistern is let dry, the earthy sediment is discovered; a fit time for cleansing it, that so the water may flow from it with greater purity; therefore [Page 42]I strive to learn that great lesson, of being content in all states, and may say to the praise and honour of my kind master, that he hath (since I have given up the same to serve him) caused his peace to flow in my soul as a river, whose current is not long to be controlled by all the impediments which can be laid in its way. Blessed for ever be his holy name, he has afforded me strength to discharge myself faithfully, wherever my lot has been cast, both publicly and privately; so that I have no condemnation on that account, nor have I repented leaving all to answer his holy requirings, but humbly thank him, that he enabled me so to do; and were crowns and diadems laid at my feet, I would not give his approbation for them.
Before I conclude I would say, beware of Esau's crime; it was when his soul was ready to faint, he despised his birthright; when he had been eagerly pursuing something he delighted in, he came to this unwise conclusion, "Behold I am at the point to die, and what profit shall this birthright do me?" He wanted patience and solid reflection, and afterwards had bitterly to repent when too late. Had he not resigned it, none could have taken it from him; neither can all the powers [Page 43]of darkness from thee, if thou resolve to keep it; this must be done, by cleaving to the Lord with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and all thy strength, which that thou mayest be enabled to do is my fervent prayer.
As I quietly rode along, the Lord was pleased in mercy, to break in upon my mind, by his living presence and power, and it became the language of my soul, "Speak, Lord, and thy servant will hear." After which many things were divinely opened to me, wherein I greatly rejoiced, and was thankful to the Lord my God: I then found a sudden, but gentle rebuke, and heard as it were a voice, that said in the secret of my soul, "the dispensations thou most delightest in, are least pleasing to me, and not so beneficial to thy soul, as that pure poverty of spirit, brokenness and contrition of heart, which brings into humility of mind, and the reason why this is so little desired, and so unpleasant to the creature, is, that it can have no part therein, but is wholly excluded and set at naught; can discover no beauty or excellency in it; and for this cause it is, that I will in no wise despise the offering of a broken and contrite spirit, as it is most pure and without mixture of the creature. For, whether [Page 44]there be prophecies, divine openings or revelation, consolations, joying or rejoicing in the Holy Ghost, gifts of healing or tongue of utterance, in all these self can rejoice, and have a share, being obvious to it, and bringing it honour." Then said I, "Lord dispense to me what is most pleasing to thee, and best for my soul, so long as my weak faith and patience can endure, and when I am ready to faint, give me a little of the wine, well refined on the lees, that my soul may rejoice in thee, the God of my salvation."
From London she wrote to a friend after this manner:
The following was written to two friends in the ministry.
She wrote the following letter to a friend in the ministry, who was instrumental, in the Lord's hands, to impart such help and counsel, as had a tendency to awaken her when in the sleep of carnal ease and forgetfulness.
The following letter was to a relation.
The following letter was written to a friend in the ministry.
A letter written to two friends she was nearly united to in spirit, runs thus:
She mentions, ‘At the city of Cambridge had a meeting with a few professors, the number about 5, in which place was greatly favoured in my mind with the living presence of God, in whose light I saw, and was made to believe, that there would be a people raised up in that place [Page 57]who should stand for the honour of his name, and to be valiant for truth on earth. This I was led to declare to the few present, though at this time, a place noted for contrary fruits. At Burford had a large and precious evening meeting, though in the early part it was a very suffering time, there being divers priests, justices of the peace, so called, and rude people in whom the prince of the air had dominion; but the Lord, whose power is above every power, manifested his own arm and made it bare, for the help of his depending children, who have none in heaven but him, nor in the whole earth in comparison of him. His testimony was set over the heads of transgre [...]rs, and evil spirits were made subject to his power, everlasting praises be given to his excellent name! At another place where I had a meeting, the professors of Truth had heard of my being silent at several meetings, and were afraid of the cross and reproach of men so took me a back way to the meeting for fear (as I apprehended) their neighbours that were not of our society should see us, and come there, yet Providence so ordered it, that a large number came to the afternoon meeting, to whom Truth was declared in the wisdom and demonstration [Page 58]of the spirit of God, after which I had to speak closely to the professors.’
‘In the latter part of this journey, I was seized with a violent intermitting fever, which illness detained me several weeks, and caused me to travel in great bodily weakness, yet the Lord was graciously pleased at times to strengthen me for the service he had called me to, beyond my own and others expectation. I waited near a month for a passage, which seemed tedious to me, some of the time at a public house at Parkgate, destitute of friends or acquaintance, but dared not repine at the will of Providence. In this journey I rode about five thousand miles, and attended five hundred and twenty-five meetings. I landed at Dublin the 9th month, 1750, being about two years and nine months absent; had the company of My esteemed friend, Samuel Fothergill. We had a rough, but swift passage, and were in danger of driving upon the Welch coast, but the Lord was our preserver. my friends rejoiced to see me, as I did them, some were concerned at the state of my visibly impaired health. In this city I felt great weakness of body and mind, being stripped, emptied and tried as before the great Judge, by whom I was willing to be examined, and to bring my [Page 59]deeds to his divine light, where my own weakness and manifold infirmities, might be more fully manifested; it was several days before I was able to go out to meetings. Though my life was despaired of by several, when I repaired to my father's cottage, where all the wants of nature were fully supplied, that which would gratify the lust of the eye, the lust of the flesh and pride of life, much excluded, I mended in my health faster than I expected, and contrary to the opinion of divers, who were against my coming, fearing the journey would be too much for me, and the accommodation not suitable to my weak condition; but I bless the name of my God, who never suffered me to want any good thing, since my first knowledge of him. I had great peace in coming to my aged father, who much desired my company: invitations I had to stations of great affluence; but denied them, and found the Lord my God deserts not the poor and mean of this world, but visits them in their lonely situations and humble retirements before him. This I am a witness of, for he was often with my spirit in this time of weakness; speaking peace and comfort to my soul, that could not live without him. One day in particular, as I rode to meeting, being much better in health, his living word ran [Page 60]sweetly through my mind, thus, "For this purpose have I raised thee up, to show forth in thee my power of preservation and mercy;" which greatly rejoiced my soul, and caused me to praise his excellent name (who is everlastingly worthy) for all his mercies.’
She kept pretty much at home during her weak state of health, and about this time, wrote to a friend:
In another letter she says:
The summer following she accompanied Catherine Payton, who came to this nation on a religious visit, finding a draft to join her to Munster and Ulster. She set forward on this journey in the 5th month, 1751, and they joined as companions at Waterford. They had many meetings amongst those of other societies. They visited the town's people of Sligo, in Connaught, and felt much satisfaction; she thought they were well worth visiting, and said there seemed much more openness to declare the truth amongst those of other societies, than amongst them that go under [Page 62]our name. After this journey, she staid most of the winter with her father.
To a friend she wrote as follows:
The following advice was communicated by letter, to a young man, then under the baptizing power of truth.
She wrote to another of her friends thus:
She writes thus to a person under religious impressions, whom she was made instrumental to help:
About this time she wrote thus to a friend:
A concern, which at times for years, had rested on her mind, to pay a religious visit to the churches in America, appears about this time to have impressed her with additional weight, the baptisms she passed through to fit her for this work, she thus describes:
The Lord was pleased to bring me exceedingly low, both in mind and body, the latter so much so, that my life was despaired of by myself and others; and such was my exercise of mind and pain of body, that life seemed a burden, yea, I was ready often to wish my body dissolved that I might be with Christ. Yet, when death looked me in the face, unaccompanied by that which alone can render it supportable to human nature, viz. an incontestible evidence of eternal rest to my immortal spirit, it appeared to me a gloomy prospect, and the cause of its being so I believe was, that my time was not yet come.
For I knew not that I had wilfully offended the divine Being, that should cause him to withdraw his life-giving presence, [Page 76]and suffer my mind to be clothed with a thick cloud of darkness. During this time of trial and deep exercise of body and mind, the Lord my God was pleased to extend his mighty arm of power, and reduce my spirit to a calm, so as to make his holy voice intelligible to my weary, distressed soul, and to inform me that he would raise me from that low and dark state, and cause me, in his love, to visit the churches in America the next year. And although this seemed to clash with my temporal interest, as well as natural inclination, there was at the same time when I heard the call, an entire resignation wrought in my mind, so that I could say indeed and in truth, "Thy will be done in all things," which was to me a confirmation that the thing was of the Lord, verifying that saying of David, when addressing the Almighty, "In the day of thy power, thy people shall be willing," and such was the prevalency of it, that it removed those things which had been like mountains in my way, and caused them to be cast into the sea of ann [...]ilation.
This journey had been before me, by distant views, from a short time after my receiving a gift in the ministry. There were many difficulties seemingly insurmountable [Page 77]in my way, which the Lord in his own time was pleased to remove; so that I may say of a truth, I was brought through the furnace of affliction to perform this journey.
She corresponded with her friend Catherine Payton, who felt a like concern to visit the churches in America, and great was the sympathy they had with each other. She left home the 22d of the 3d month 1753, attended the quarterly meeting at Edenderry, and went thence to Dublin, where she met with considerable trials by opposing spirits, of which she says, she had a precious sight, and thus writes:
I felt the power of darkness at work so as grievously to oppress my spirit, but by degrees it was cast down, and the pure light prevailed. The design of the enemy was to prevent my intended journey by raising contention, which, blessed be the name of God, he was not able to do. I left Dublin in the 5th month, in love and unity with my friends, and good desires for my enemies, if any such I had, and landed at Liverpool, got safe to London. After attending the yearly meeting at London, I went to the yearly meetings of Colchester, Bury, Woodbridge, and Norwich: all which were [Page 78]attended with a good degree of the life and power of truth, and an honest labour for the good of the people. Before my leaving Ireland, I had a sight of Charleston, in South Carolina, being the port for me to land at, which continued until I returned to London, when I lost sight of it; which made me willingly conclude I might go with some friends I was nearly united to, for Philadelphia, and went on board some vessels bound for that port, but could not see my way in any of them. On more deeply centring to the root of life, in humble resignation to the divine will, I found it my duty to continue some weeks at London, and not being clear of that city, was, I believe, the cause of my not seeing my way clear to Charleston, I therefore concluded to stay the Lord's time, and when I found my spirit clear, took my passage with my dear companion, Catherine Payton, for that port. Before my leaving London, I had a large and comfortable farewell-meeting at the Peel, for which my soul, with many more, had renewed cause to bless and praise the name of the Lord; several friends accompanied us from London to Portsmouth, where we took shipping and landed at Charleston. We had a favourable passage, save hard weather towards the latter part of the voyage; but by the [Page 79]infinite mercy of Almighty God, were preserved from any terror or amazement, and our health continued beyond expectation, save the sickness occasioned by the sea and heat. We had meetings on board every First-day, when ability of body and the weather would permit, which the passengers and ship's crew attended, to whom the way of life and salvation was declared; but many of their hearts being hardened through the deceitfulness of sin, the word had not that entrance, which could have been desired.
In Charleston the discipline was quite let fall, and I found it my duty to endeavour to revive it. Herein I met with open opposition and evil treatment, especially from one of my own countrymen, who was of a libertine spirit, and had been under the censure of friends in his native land. But the Lord was pleased to manifest his spirit, so that he could not frustrate our endeavours. In this province we met with many difficulties both of body and mind, the former by long journeys, in a very thinly inhabited country, through unbeaten paths in the woods, dangerous creeks and swamps, with wild and venemous creatures around us, and with such food and lodging as we had never been accustomed to; yet [Page 80]the Lord our God was pleased to make it up to us by his comfortable presence and good spirit, and to afford us the blessing of health, at a time when the greatest part of the inhabitants suffered deeply with fevers and agues. For which unmerited mercy, my soul at this time bows, in humble thanksgiving, and returns him the praise of his works, who is everlastingly worthy.
The following is a part of a letter written to her uncle:
It has dwelt on my heart for some days, to give thee a short history of a long travel; and first may acquaint thee that through the matchless mercy of a never failing God, to his poor depending children, we have been preserved in a good degree of health, at a time when most faces gathered paleness through indisposition of body. I do not remember that we have been in a house or family since we left Charleston, but one or more were ill of a fever or ague, so that it seems like an universal contagion which has overspread the inhabitants of this quarter. We came hither from Charleston, taking no meetings in the way, except in the families where we lodged, the distance being 150 miles, through woods [Page 81]and swamps, where our lives seemed in jeopardy every hour, yet through mercy our minds were so supported above fear, as to go on with a good degree of cheerfulness of spirit, trusting in that holy arm of power, which has hitherto wrought deliverance for us. I have sat down by a brook in the woods, eat my Indian-corn bread, and drank water out of a calabash, with more content and peace of mind than many who were served in plate, &c. and at night have slept contentedly in my riding clothes, on a bed hard enough to make my bones ach, and the house so open on every side as to admit plenty of light and air. I have compared my passage through these woods, to my pilgrimage through the world, and indeed in some things it bears a just resemblance; the path we rode through was exceeding narrow, and sometimes so closed as not to see a footstep before me, caught by boughs on one hand and bushes on the other, obliged to stoop very low, lest my head should be hurt or eyes pulled out: this I compare to the entangling things of the present world, which are ready to catch the affections on every side and blind the eyes of the soul; my clothes are a little ragged by these pulls, but through care not quite torn off. Oh! saith my soul, may it not be wholly stripped of the [Page 82]white robe which is the righteousness of saints; for surely I have never been in more danger than now; the sense of which leads me earnestly to desire, that I may have a place in the remembrance of those, whose prayers ascend with acceptance to the throne of grace. I have not given the foregoing account of my bodily hardship, by way of complaint or murmuring, no, when I consider how much more, very many much better than I have suffered for the cause of religion, and especially the good Shepherd who laid down his life for his sheep, every cause of complaint is removed, remembering that the disciple is not above his Master, nor the servant above his Lord. Yea, it is cause of rejoicing to my soul, when I can find my feet in the footsteps of the tribulated flocks, who trod this narrow path, and tried way to eternal blessedness. In this way of life I am exempt from many dangerous temptations, which ease and supineness are inlets to. On my hard bed, I am free from the fault of wasting too much of my time in a state of death and inactivity. At my plain meals, I am freed from many of the temptations and evils, which attend high and voluptuous living; and am often made to remember that excellent advice of a great apostle to his son in the faith, [Page 83]"Endure hardness, as a good soldier of Jesus Christ." And surely such as are sent out to war before the face of their enemies, may expect it in an especial manner. But what, above all other considerations reconciles me to every dispensation of Providence, is, the sight and sense which truth gives me of my own unworthiness, of the least of all the mercies I receive, either spiritual or temporal; for indeed I see myself to be so exceedingly weak, and capable of so little service, as not to merit the meanest food that is set before me, yet have never been suffered to doubt, but that I am in my place, in coming here.—I think very long to hear from my friends and family, having been of late a little tossed, especially in the night by dreams about my father's family and some others; whether it be the work of the enemy to perplex my mind, or a foresight of the worst of trials (except the loss of the favour of heaven) I cannot tell: but when I am assisted to look beyond this transitory scene of uncertainty, I can welcome tribulations, and rejoice in such adversities, as have the least tendency to draw my mind nearer unto God; which I know must be by being weaned and redeemed from earth and earthly satisfactions. Alas! while I carry about with me this frail tabernacle, [Page 84]its affections and desires will bend towards its original dust, when from under the immediate influence of that holy power, which alone can redeem it from the thraldom of sin and satan. What need then have I and all who have been made partakers of the powers of the world to come, humbly, diligently, and chastely to wait for the enlightening and enlivening incomes thereof to our souls, that so we may go on to perfection.
I have hitherto passed over our exercises in Charleston. It seems like a city of refuge for the disjointed members of our society, where they may walk in the sight of their own eyes, and the imagination of their own hearts, without being accountable to any for their conduct, and yet be called by the name of Quaker, to take away their reproach. We lodged at the house of one who had married out of the society, which we went to with fear and reluctance, having first tried all means to avoid it. Here we were greatly straitened, but I think we were providentially cast there for his wife's sake, who is under convincement, a tender hearted, good natured woman, and exceedingly kind to us, and he well esteemed for a fair reputable trader. He received us with much civility and hospitality, which yet did not [Page 85]blind our eyes, or prevent our telling him the truth; I have gone so far as to acquaint him, that I was ashamed to walk the streets with one under our name, who deviated so much from our principles as he did, which he always took well, and would acknowledge his faults. We were often visited by those of other societies, and had much kindness showed by them. We had freedom to make a few visits amongst them, and had service for our master in some of their families. We likewise paid a religious visit to every family professing with us, in that place, and had very close work, but with the most authority of any service we have entered on; and by this and such like labour, I understand we have driven several from the meeting, who could not bear sound doctrine, though ever so private. Whether there be any sound members added by our labour, must at present be left: however that be, I say, amen to these leaving the profession, whose lives and conduct are a scandal to it; and I wish to be made more and more instrumental, in the hand of my God, for division in the society, between the precious and the vile: let me as a creature suffer what I may, by evil report and false brethren, which I have had, and still expect a large share of, in the way my master leads me; [Page 86]for of a truth it was his spirit, if ever I knew it, and not my own, that led me to this close work. One appeared in open opposition, at a meeting appointed for conference, in order to take steps for reviving the discipline amongst them; he attacked me in particular, but I had then little to say to him, and what I did say was in great mildness; he arose in a violent passion and left the room; since which we have seen no more of him at meeting or elsewhere.
Her account thus continues:
At Nuce in North Carolina, we had a large and comfortable meeting, in which I thought it might be truly said the Lord's power was over all, and that even devilish spirits were made subject to that power, by which we were assisted to speak. In this province likewise, we met with abundant hardships and sufferings of body, as we were drawn in the love of God, to visit many of the back inhabitants, where I suppose, no European had ever been on the like errand: by lodging in the woods in cold frosty weather, on damp grounds with bad firing, I got a rheumatic pain in my jaws and head, by which I suffered much, and often lost my [Page 87]rest after had travelling; yet through it all, the Lord was pleased to support my spirit in a good degree of cheerfulness, without murmuring or repining, though my weak constitution often deeply felt the effects of those bodily hardships; yet by the goodness and healing virtue of the Lord, I was often made to forget my bodily infirmities, and to see and feel that His strength was made perfect in weakness.
Between Pedee and New-garden, where is a large tract of country, we rode two days and an half, and lay two nights in the woods, without being under the roof of a house. In these parts I seemed to have a hope that truth might yet spread, because many of the people showed a love and esteem for friends, and a dislike to the priests. We were often kindly entertained, according to their ability, at the houses of these not of our society, though sometimes at our first entrance they would look strangely at us, because they understood not the lawfulness of women's preaching, having never heard any: thus did we pass for a sign and wonder; some would say, when invited to meeting, that we were women who ran from our own country for some ill act, not being acquainted with the supernatural power of [Page 88]love, which had influenced our hearts, nor the rules and discipline of friends. Through divine favour I have not heard of any of them who went away dissatisfied from meeting; may the praise of all the Lord's works be rendered to himself, who alone is worthy. In the upper part of this province (North Carolina) there is a large body of prefessors, and I hope some valuable friends, but too many I fear (yea, I think I sensibly felt) are trusting in a profession, without a possession, of the living virtue of truth. We were at their quarterly meeting, which was large; but the power of truth somewhat low, at least in me, who suffered much under a loose unsanctified spirit. My companion had the chief service in the public meetings, and was led, I believe, to speak pretty much to the state of the society: my chief labour was in the meeting of ministers and elders, in which we endeavoured to strive for some regulation in the discipline, particularly that they might have their meetings for business select, and not set open for the people, which they were then in the practice of. The weighty part of friends joined us, and seemed to conclude they would strive for an amendment. I also proposed their holding a meeting for the elders to confer in, before the ministers joined [Page 89]them, in order to their hearing a more full and perfect account of the state of the ministry in each meeting, and to have them both held before the quarterly meeting. This was agreed to, and the meeting ended in a feeling sense of divine love, which makes true unity and concord amongst brethren, for which my soul was thankful. I laboured with considerable openness at several of the particular meetings, before the quarterly meeting; my companion being gone on a visit, southward of these parts as far as Bath-town. In this journey she had the trial of having a woman friend, who accompanied her from Perquimans, removed by death; her remains were brought to her husband and children in eleven days from the time she left home, being then well to all appearance. We attended at her funeral, which was on the whole solid and satisfactory, though somewhat interrupted by one who, as he thought, would preach the burial sermon. From thence we passed to Virginia, and found things in the south side exceedingly weak and low, the meetings very small, and in many places the discipline sadly let fall; friends were very kind and hospitable, but from the poor seasons we had in spirit, their hospitality sometimes lost its true relish; yet there is a seed in these parts, with whom my spirit [Page 90]had true unity. We spent near two months in this colony, in much inward suffering, and under some bodily hardships, their way of living differing from what we had been accustomed to. One thing which friends here, as well as in North Carolina, Maryland and some other parts of America, were in the practice of, gave us considerable pain, and we apprehended was in part the cause of truth's not prospering amongst them, as otherwise it would, that is, buying and keeping of slaves, which we could not reconcile with the golden rule of doing unto all men as we would they should do unto us.
At West-river, Maryland, I was concerned to write an epistle to the yearly meeting to be held at Curles in Virginia, which had been on my mind for some time; my companion united therewith, and subscribed here name to said epistle, which was as follows:
To the living, solid remnant of friends, at the yearly meeting to be held at Curles, for the colony of Virginia, in the 6th mo. 1754, and especially such as constitute the select meeting.
In a good degree of that universal, unchangeable, enlarging love which drew us from our native land and near enjoyments, to make you a religious visit, do we at this time tenderly salute you, and hereby inform you (as we have done some of you heretofore verbally) that our hearts have been pained, on account of the state of the church in your colony. And though we cannot accuse ourselves of withholding any thing from you, either in public or private, which was given us to deliver, we apprehend it our duty to stir up in your remembrance, some truths already known, and we hope weightily felt by some of you.
First, we recommend to your solid consideration, when solemnly assembled, the exceeding low state of the ministry and dicipline, in most, if not all the monthly meetings in your colony. Sink down to the pure gift of God in yourselves. Ask of Him with a sincere desire to be informed, Lord, what is the cause that we flee before our enemies, and are taken captive by them? for thus we believe it is with some, whether they are sensible of it or not, and as this is the case, we hope and believe, the Lord will let [Page 92]some of you see and feel, that the shortness has not been on his side, and that he has not forsaken his people, but they him; and will also give power to amend your ways and your doings. For we cannot, we dare not suppose (let our spirits be cloathed with ever so much Christian charity) that all who have been called, and even initiated into the true church, have stood faithful, and kept a single eye to the glory of God; no, no, if that had been the case, what a bright, shining people would you have been ere this day; yea, as a city set upon a hill, whose light would have diffused itself to those who were without, and have caused many to flock to our Zion for rest and safety, as doves to the windows; and not as birds of prey, to tear and devour, as is now too much the case, many we fear coming in among you with unsanctified spirits; i. e. to make a profession of the truth, which is now easy, without a possession or sure inheritance in it, in which increase of number, some have seemed to glory, when in truth they have but increased ungodliness in the church, by adding chaff instead of the solid, weighty wheat, which alone will be gathered into the Lord's garner; but the chaff of all kinds, will be burnt with unquenchable fire. Where then will these light, chaffy, unsanctified [Page 93]professors appear, or what will they add to you, except it be an incumberance and clog to the small handful of solid friends amongst you, who, we believe, are too much oppressed and borne down; yea, lie as hid and buried, under this light, windy spirit. Arise, we beseech you, in the name and power of your God, and exert yourselves in his pure wisdom and strength, for his cause and truth on earth. Victory is on the Lord's side, and will be your's, if you faithfully follow him in the way of his requirings, not fearing the faces of men, but strictly regarding the still, small voice and gentle motions of the blessed spirit of truth. As this is the case, one shall chase a thousand of these light, frothy spirits, and two put ten thousand to flight, though ye may, yea, must be little and low in your own eyes. And we earnestly desire, that such as have been called to, and in some measure qualified for, the work of the Lord, and through a desire of some kind or other, of filthy lucre, of which there are many, are become formal, blind, and unfaithful, may repent, and do their first works, seeing from whence they are fallen, lest the Lord come to them quickly, and remove such candlestick out of its place, whose candles are already put out by the baneful breath of the spirit of this [Page 94]world; with which they have universally mingled, and in which they are held captive. Arise from this state, if possible, and shake yourselves from the dust of the earth, with which some of you are laden as with thick clay; but if you are so benumbed, hardened, and stupified, through the deceitfulness of sin, that this cannot be, yet cease at least, to pervert the right way of the Lord, by meddling in things with which you have no business, that is, putting yourselves forth in the ministry or discipline, when Christ the true shepherd, has not put you forth therein. Remember what befel him who stretched forth a hand to the ark, even when it tottered and seemed in danger of falling; the same event will happen to the spiritual lives of all those, who continue for a series of time, to mock and deceive themselves and people with a sound of words without life or power, which however found in themselves and well connected, are but as a dead letter, which kills instead of quickening the soul. Let this certain, self-evident truth be weightily considered by you, viz. that nothing but life and light, should move to act in the church of Christ; not pity for the people, nor inclination to gratify their longing desire after words, nor any other human passion or consideration, [Page 95]should move us thus to tempt the Lord, and take his holy name in vain, in the worst sense of the expression, for which as do so, he has declared he will not hold them guiltless. And dear friends, we apprehend that a great part of the weakness and unfruitfulness, which appears in the ministry amongst you, proceeds from want of a right, sound discipline, established and conducted in the wisdom of truth, which discipline is certainly not only as a wall of defence against the encroachments of many dangerous enemies, but as a hedge to shelter from the various baneful blasts, destructive to young and tender plants, which should be sheltered as well as watered, pruned and dug about, by wise, judicious elders and fathers and mothers in the church. But alas! how do the few of those who are on the right foundation, stand as alone, exposed to the darts of their enemies, and piercing blasts from every side, unpruned, unadvised in a great degree; can such be expected to bring forth plentiful crops of full, ripe, well flavoured fruit? nay, rather the savour of the wild grape is to be feared, because the trees are left in a great measure without cultivation. Now as the hedge is thus sadly taken away, and the wall greatly broken down, we are sensible the reparation must be by [Page 96]gradual steps; yea, by laying a single stone at a time, and planting a tender twig. And those who are engaged in this necessary work, will find as Nehemiah did, before he went to repair the walls of Jerusalem, sadness of countenance, ere they can entreat the Almighty for liberty to engage in the work. Nothing short of a heart truly touched with love and zeal for the good of the church of Christ, can adopt this language, "Here am I, send me," or "qualify me and let me go." May it be yours, Oh! ye beloved, tender plants of the Lord's right hand planting, and when it is, stifle it not, but go on in the strength of the Lord, not saying, "Here am I, and I will go in the strength of my own spirit, will, or wisdom." No, we give our testimony for our Lord and master, that these forward, unsavory spirits, will never profit the people, nor bring glory to God. But you who are of the former rank, though you may meet with many discouragements, as Nehemiah did, yet if ye trust in the Lord with all your hearts, and singly eye his light in yourselves, not conferring with flesh and blood, nor seeking your own honour, but the honour of him that sent you into life, it is our testimony to you for encouragement, that the Lord will bless his work in your hands, [Page 97]and richly reward you for it, though you may have a long and painful travail, and sometimes as in the night season, before you come at the right place for building; and when you come there, you will find much rubbish to be removed.
This we apprehend must be the first work before our stone can be properly laid on the right foundation, i. e. to have all unsanctified spirits, both of your own and other societies, excluded the privilege of sitting in your meetings for business; otherwise we believe it will be building with the rubbish, which will never stand to the honour of God and the good of his people.
Our minds are so sensibly affected with the pernicious tendency of that evil custom, of suffering your meetings for the discipline of the church to be thus mixed, that we cannot help advising (believing it to be the mind of truth) that you use your christian endeavours for an alteration, by making a minute against this disorderly practice, and strongly recommending the putting of it in force in the several monthly meetings throughout the colony, for which you have authority from the universal practice of friends where the discipline is rightly conducted, [Page 98]as well as from the original institution of such meetings.
And now having in a good degree eased our spirits of what seemed to rest upon them, on your account, we conclude in that love which seeks the preservation and good of the heritage of God, with saying, be sober, be vigilant and of one mind, and desiring the God of peace may be with you, in this your annual assembly, we remain your friends in the truth.
- M. P.
- C. P.
At this meeting of friends at West-river, we were falsely accused of speaking from outward information, when in truth it was from the opening of the word of life; this we were frequently suspected of, and charged with, by unbelievers, who knew not the intelligence of the spirit, though they made profession of it.
We passed through the western side of Maryland called Sassifrax bay, and took meetings in our way; but after we entered Pennsylvania, had no openness to [Page 99]appoint meetings in that province, the Jerseys or Long Island, except one, but passed on in a pretty direct line, falling in with some meetings as they came in course till we got to Rhode Island, the day before the yearly meeting which was held at Newport, it was large and attended with a good degree of divine power, peace and concord. At this meeting we found our minds engaged to labour for some regulation in the discipline, which was sadly out of order, in particular that unwise practice of having meetings for that purpose, mixed with the world's people, and such as were proper subjects to have it exercised upon, which seemed to be the first step necessary to be taken. We prevailed so far as to have a minute made against it, and sent to the several quarterly and monthly meetings, as the result of the yearly meeting, which gave us an opportunity as we fell in with them, to strengthen friends in having their meetings select. It was remarkable that we fell in with so many of them in the course of our labour and service: I write this for my own instruction and that of others, as an incitement to follow the leading of truth and the way it points out to us, though the cause may not immediately appear, and indeed on all accounts I have seen it best so to do. One [Page 100]mark of providential care, which occurred in this journey, is, I think, worthy of remembrance; when at New York some friends of that city, and others, seemed inclined that we should go by water to Newport, in a sloop that was to sail next day; accordingly we went to view the vessel, and found her very small and inconvenient, having no cabin that we could well sit, stand or lie in; they seemed to think we might make our passage in 24 or at most 48 hours; we sat down quietly in her, to feel if there was freedom in the truth for us to go, a practice I like to be found in on such occasions, in which time, and before I went it appeared to me, that if we sailed in her, we should meet with greater difficulties than if we went by land to South-hold, and thence to Newport by water. I told friends that I had more freedom to go by land, and they readily agreed to it. The vessel sailed from New York as intended, we went as proposed, and had some meetings to good satisfaction, amongst the Presbyterians at and near South-hold, and fell in with a small meeting of friends in the way, having also some seasoning opportunities among ourselves, wherein the divine presence was manifested to our mutual comfort. We waited some days at South-hold for a fair [Page 101]wind, went on board and landed the same evening: the sloop which it was intended we should go in, arrived only the same day, being 8 days on her passage.
At Philadelphia the 23d of the 5th mo. I received the sorrowful tidings of the death of my dear and tender father, who departed this life in much peace and quietude of spirit, on the 23d of the 2d month last, according to the account I received from those who were present; he having been favoured with his understanding and a sense of his change. This was of a truth sore and hard to bear. I have great cause to bless and praise his great name, who supported me beyond my expectation or desert under this trial, as well as prepared my mind for it, by a foresight of it, both sleeping and waking. I saw, in a dream, my father in the agonies of death, and in the time of his illness, day after day, felt such a sympathy of soul as is not easily expressed, and after that such a stop in my mind, from thinking of or writing to him, as convinced me that he was gone, the account of which I fully expected.
We attended a quarterly meeting at Hampton in New England, where we [Page 102]had to testify against an unruly separate spirit, though we had not seen or heard of it outwardly, as I declared to them; nothing to convince us of it but the spirit of truth, they would not believe, though high pretenders to revelation. They abundantly convinced us before the quarterly meeting was over of our being right, for such was their outrage, that they used the utmost of their power to prevent us from speaking in the meeting, to ease our minds, by noises both within and without the house; but truth gave us the victory and set our spirits over them.
After we had spent some time in this quarter, and visited friends generally, eastward of Boston, as far as North Yarmouth, on my return I found my mind secretly drawn towards a separate people, at Hampton in New England, but as it was a service likely to be attended with more than common difficulties, I waited to have a more clear sign and stronger evidence of my duty, which the Lord was pleased to give me in his own time; he knew the sincerity of my heart and that I had no will to disobey him. We passed the place 14 miles, before I received such a satisfactory evidence, as I had wished for, in which I believe there was wisdom, as some friends [Page 103]might perhaps have judged me, as being too forward on entering on a service of such weight and difficulty. At Newberry, where were friends from several meetings, I found my mind so strongly drawn, and with such weight towards this people, as rendered me quite unfit for any other service, it seeming impossible for me to think of any thing else in that meeting, except laying my concern before friends there; which I was fully persuaded, was what truth pointed out to me. Accordingly at the close of the meeting, I requested the most solid, concerned friends to stay, when I told them how it had been with me; they readily agreed to my going, and divers gave up to accompany us. My companion at first seemed affrighted about going, and wept considerably, I left her quite at liberty to stay or go, and in the morning she found her way open and had good service. They received us with much seeming kindness, particularly one who appeared to be like the head of them, and was the person whom I chiefly wanted to see: He spoke many fair words to us before the meeting, and told us that he looked upon it as a favour from the Lord, that we were sent to them; but after meeting, when I came to tell him my mind freely, and deliver the message which I had to him, he soon changed and [Page 104]treated me roughly: declaring that I would not [...]nd mercy with the Lord, until I repented of my proceedings against him and them, at the quarterly meeting at Hampton. We had a seasonable opportunity to ease our minds, in which our master was with us, by his spirit and power, and I was made sensible that there was in that place, a people sincere in their searches and endeavours after religion, which the Lord regarded, though under many delusions and mistakes. In this quarter (New England) close and hard work fell to our lots, amongst those who called themselves of our society, which was difficult to be accomplished, because many thought themselves whole, while in reality they needed a physician, manifesting an unlawful familiarity with the world. Unbounded curiosity in the people, caused meetings to be thronged, that in hot weather it was exceeding hard to sit them, and much more trying to speak in them; but he who searches the hearts of all, and knows their intentions, disappointed these wrong spirits, by closing our mouths in silence one meeting after another; which greatly displeased the people, and drew upon us great reproach, lies and slander, all which we were enabled to bear patiently, and rejoice in, for our Master's sake. We were led to endeavour [Page 105]to separate those under our name from others, and at times some of the ruling members from the rest, to whom we had very close things to offer, feeling that the declension which so glaringly appeared in the society, had reached many of their borders. This seemed a very hard task to get accomplished because of their being so connected in marriage, &c. and the discipline being so sadly let fall, they knew not who were, or who were not proper members.
In some places we had to visit particular families, before we could cast off our burdens, as in Boston; where I was led to find out some hidden works of darkness, the workers whereof ought to be cut off from the name and society of friends, in order to clear it and them from the scandal they brought on it; one young man in particular, with whom we had to treat on his being likely to marry with one of another society. It arose in my heart while we talked with him, that he was deeply tinctured with deism, a disbelief of the scriptures, the coming of Christ in the flesh, and his second appearance by his spirit; I told him my opinion of him which he acknowledged to be true, and spoke in defence of it; I told him the ground whence his unbelief [Page 106]sprung, viz. leaning to his own understanding, and departing from the light, which alone can convince of God and godliness. I left some parts of this country not quite clear in my spirit, but under a weight, and particularly Newport, I was given up in my mind to return to it, but could not then find my way open. I was advised by a friend to leave it for the present; I did so, and travelled under great exercise of spirit through Connecticut, but without condemnation. At Oblong I had a sight that my dear companion C. P. and I were to separate, for the work's sake, I had been at times much straitened in my service by preferring her and her gift, for I was greatly afraid and jealous over my own heart, lest self should have any part in our separation, from a desire of appearing greater than with a companion; another thing which appeared to me with considerable weight, was her youth, and the many dangers that might attend if not rightly suited with a companion. These and many other considerations, would I believe have prevailed, had not the Lord laid his hand upon me, in a remarkable manner, on this wise. My mind was stripped of ability for service, and deeply bowed to the centre of all strength for instruction, in which state I had a desire given me to be [Page 107]at Philadelphia, and to go thither pretty direct without appointing many meetings: accordingly I desired that not more than two meetings, which lay in the way, might be appointed, but my companion and some other friends, encouraged the appointing more. I became passive, though I found my exercise for meetings in those parts, was at that time taken away; which aftewards more clearly appeared, having been silent in all, except one I found freedom to have appointed, neither was my companion capacitated for the service, in the last meeting which was at Longreach on the Main.
She appears by a very concise account kept of her gospel labours, to have been closely exercised in visiting meetings mostly in the province of Pennsylvania, from the 10th mo. 1754, to the spring of 1756. She and her companion having, with the concurrence of friends, separated for the work's sake. Within which period, she wrote as follows to a friend.
Thy acceptable letter, perhaps, might have been acknowledged sooner, had I not a hope or expectation of seeing thee ere now; hope did I say? alas! I should have none, but doing and suffering the [Page 108]will of God; all others seem forbidden, and are through divine favour, pretty much restrained. My stay being prolonged in this country, has been altogether unexpected to myself, and I have been held in such uncertainty for some months past, as not to be able to give my friends any information respecting future movements. I have stood as a soldier waiting for the word of command, to march withersoever my holy leader may be pleased to direct; and may say to the praise of his great name, that he is not an hard master, but good and bountiful every way; for though I have (as recited) been kept as a day-servant in a kind of undetermined state in regard to our stay, yet may say of a truth, that I do not remember ever to have had such a degree of steady peace, and holy, unmixed quietude of mind, so long together, amidst many close, deep trials and exercises in religious duties, some of such a nature as I had not been tried with before, and which required the utmost fortitude, wisdom, and patience. There is here the old pharisaical spirit, which I have heretofore had to war with, and it seems to love me no better than usual. I shall now proceed to give thee a narrative of the manner of my stay, which to do, I must begin with an unlooked-for prospect [Page 109]set before me the summer after our landing, and hath rarely, if ever, wholly disappeared. How it may be, I cannot at present foresee: but this I know, that it has proved as ballast to my mind, with respect to going homewards this fall, as also a means to separate me and my dear companion, which I believe was in the wisdom of truth. It was presented before last fall, with a draft to this city, so that I was ready to conclude I must have gone before my visit to this continent was ended, I mean to one or more of the West-India islands, but after waiting some weeks in this city, wrapped as in a thick cloud, as to any light which way I should turn, whether home or elsewhere; (for to appoint meetings any where on this continent I dared not till the light went before me, having attended some that were forwardly appointed without my directions, till I was become as a sign and wonder to myself and others) my way opened to finish my journey on this continent separate from my former companion, which I was assisted to perform with some degree of satisfaction to myself, and, I hope some little edification to the churches. In the latter part of this journey, it pleased my good master, to bring me under the most severe baptism and crucifixion, that I ever knew in the course of [Page 110]my religious experience, partly on my own account, and on the account of some, to whom I had been made a minister, and instrumental to help into the way of life and salvation, who, looking at the creature more than the Creator, who is worthy for ever, became entangled, as a lamb caught in a thicket; it was then that I felt the depth, and true meaning of that emphatical saying of the holy apostle, "my little children, for whom I travail in birth till Christ be formed in you." And Oh! the pangs and throes, the sighs and groans, which a mother in Israel has to pass through and put up, it is something like the suffering which the captain of our salvation passed through, in bringing many sons and daughters to glory; it is with the utmost reverence and fear that I make the comparison, between him and his ministers, who are to fill up in their bodies that which is behind of his sufferings. But I seemed to myself, and was as one nailed to the cross, day and night, for weeks together, with this desire or prayer fixed in my heart: "Let me not come down from the cross, till the glorious design be fully accomplished, that so thy will may be done by me, in me, and upon me, in time and in eternity:" and truly the baptism was not removed until this became [Page 111]the happy situation of my mind, that to live or die, to be in health or sickness, in prosperity or adversity, in Europe or America, in France or Spain, to pass through good or evil report, in the will of God, seemed just the same to me. I write not these things boastingly, but to the glory of God. Thou and others know what I am by nature, that in me (that is, in my flesh) dwells no good thing. This was the necessary preparative for the fore-named state of peaceful serenity of conscience, in a situation to which nature is above all things most averse, to wit, daily dependence and uncertainty, being indebted or obligated to others for support, having nothing that it can call its own, save weakness and infirmity, and this is that glorious mystery, and seeming contradiction, which the holy apostle speaks of, in having nothing, and yet possessing all things. In this situation of mind I entered this city, having looked round me every way, with resignation to turn as I might be drawn by the power of matchless love, and hoped from the looseness which I then felt from all parts of this continent, that I might be permitted to return home with my brother (who I had heard was in town, and likely to sail soon) even if my companion could not go with me: but it was with this prospect, [Page 112]that I might probably return to this country if life was spared, and I knew not how soon. On coming hither, found that my brother was gone, and my companion not clear of this continent, so concluded to wait for her a few weeks, or if it might be, months, she expressing uncommon concern at the thoughts of being left behind. During the time I waited for her, some friends proposed to accompany me in visiting part of the families of friends in this city, a service which had divers times been presented to my mind in the course of my journey, yea, before I left London, and when the proposal was made, I found a perfect freedom to to join with it, it being with the concurrence of the monthly meeting, little supposing I should be held to it in the manner I have been; but it is a service which the Lord hath been pleased to bless in a remarkable manner. I have been in 160 families, and attended six meetings every week whilst in town, as health permits, besides visiting the sick and afflicted, and taking some excursions to the country. My companion when she came to town, being sometimes poorly in health, proceeded but slowly; we now go together, having tired most of our companions, besides a couple of men friends, who go to show us the doors, and be witness to [Page 113]our labours; there are nearly as many yet to visit, as I have been with. Whether I shall go this winter, or ever, to any of the islands mentioned, is at present hidden from me; but had not the prospect afresh opened after I had been here some time, I think I dare not have admitted the thoughts of staying this winter; but have been blessed with seeing, yea, have been made instrumental to help back some of the before mentioned lambs to the fold, one in particular, in this city, who I hope may be made a serviceable instrument.
I have now given up expectation of seeing my native land before the spring; at which time I hope to have the company of our beloved friend Samuel Fothergill, on ship board. He is now in this city, also John Churchman and divers other friends, on the affairs of the society. It is a difficult time to friends in those parts, who are concerned to keep up their Christian testimony against wars and bloodshed: and especially to such as are concerned in state affairs. I have had my health better than common in this city, for which blessing, with all others, that I am an unworthy partaker of, I desire to be humbly thankful.
[Page 114]She wrote about this time as follows to a friend in Pennsylvania on the subject of paying taxes for the support of war.
Without the least design to lessen parental authority, or filial obedience, so far as they are either lawful or expedient, I would remark to thee, that divers parents of this age have bent their thoughts and desires too much to earth, to have a clear, distinct discerning of the times and seasons in a spiritual sense, and the sacred purposes of him whose wisdom is unsearchable, and his ways past finding out, by all the penetration of finite understanding, uninfluenced by his own eternal light, and even then we see and know but in part whilst here, but some of us have believed and seen in the visions of light, that the day of gospel light which has dawned, will rise higher and higher; notwithstanding that some clouds may at times intercept its beauty and brightness, as hath been sorrowfully the case amongst us as a people who have been highly favoured. And though I have not the least design to derogate from the real worth of those honourable sons of the morning, who were made instrumental in a great degree to break down the partition wall, which carnal, selfish man had erected between the people and [Page 115]the Sun of righteousness, I am not afraid to say, and give it under my hand, that it was and is the design of God that his people in future ages should carry on the reformation even further than they did; and notwithstanding that a night of apostacy has come over us, as a people (as day and night succeed each other in their season and God keeps his covenant with both) I am of the judgment that that day has begun to dawn, in which the Sun of righteousness will rise higher and with greater lustre than heretofore, and if those who are called of God to be the sons of this morning, look back to the night, and to them who have slept and been drunken in the night, by sipping of the golden cup of abomination, as even to the latter day, they will frustrate the designs of Providence respecting themselves, though not respecting his own work, for it is his sacred determination to be glorious in heaven and glorified on earth, though those who would be called his Israel be not gathered. And I am of the faith that when the gospel has been first preached to them, as it is meet it should, that such as neglect to embrace it, will be left, and the feet of the messengers turned another way, even to the highways and hedges with a power of compulsive love which will prevail on the halt, the maimed and the blind, to come [Page 116]to the marriage of the King's Son, and by coming they shall be made strong, beautiful, and lively, and not look back to those things that are behind, but press forward towards the mark, for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ, following no men's example further than they follow him, and what if I say in the faith which is given me, that God has designed to carry some of this generation in these parts of the world, higher and further in righteousness than their forefathers were carried, even such as were honourable in their day, and therefore let them take heed that they limit not the Holy One of Israel, nor circumscribe the leadings of his blessed unerring Spirit, by looking too much at the example of others; for this has been a means of stopping the gradual progression of many glorious well-begun reformations; instead of going forward, they have looked back, and even sunk below the standard of the first reformers, and such as will be the first happy instruments to labour for reformation in this degenerate age, must differ in their trials from the sons of the former morning, and will find them to be of a more severe and piercing kind; theirs were from the world, and such as they might justly expect from them (though not exempt from false brethren) our will chiefly arise from those under the same [Page 117]profession, clothed with the disguised spirit of the world, and that among some of the foremost rank (so called) in society, and what if I say (though my natural eyes may not see it) that God will divide in Jacob, and scatter in Israel, before that reformation is brought in his church which he designs.
And now in regard to the matter proposed by thee, I shall answer briefly, that I am of the judgment that if thou standest single and upright in thy mind from all the false biasses of nature and interest of things, stopping thine ear to fallacious reasonings, thou wilt find it more safe to suffer with the people of God, than to enter on or undertake doubtful things.
After her return from America she attended the national meeting in the 11 mo. 1756, and returned a lively account of her journey. In the 2d mo. following she laid her intentions of marriage, with Samuel Neale, before the monthly meeting of Mountmelick, to which she belonged, after which she found a concern to join in a visit to the familes of friends throughout that monthly meeting. When she had performed this service she returned home, and on the 17th of 3d mo. 1757, was married to our aforesaid friend in the meeting of Mountrath. [Page 118]On the evening of that day, in a religious opportunity, she was led to describe how the Almighty formed the great works of creation in six days, which having finished, he appointed a Sabbath, and sanctified it, and that there were present who should in a short time cease from their labours, and enjoy the Sabbath in which they would have no work to do; she was clear and sweet in the delivery of it, and the usual seal of her ministry attended. Two days after she was seized with a violent pain in her stomach, and lay quiet and still, in an awful frame of mind, and would sometimes raise her voice in a melodious manner, through the efficacy and virtue of that divine power, which so often animated her to sound forth praises to the King of saints. And though she did not express herself in words, yet there was a language in the sound, which fully manifested, that she triumphed over death, hell, and the grave, for she longed to be dissolved, intreating the Lord to give her a release, if it was consistent with his holy will.
About half an hour before her removal, her pain being taken away, she said, "I praise thy name, O my God, for this savour." After which she quietly departed, like one falling into a sweet sleep.