I AM glad to see you my Sister, hop­ing our Discourse may be for edifi­cation; and I desire to know whether you are well in body, but more especially whether your soul is in health and prosperity.

I perceive, Sister, your enquiry after my health requires a more deep and solemn answer than is common at the meeting of friends, who usually enquire only after the welfare of the mortal body, as tho' that was a matter of the greatest importance.

Truly it is so: But why are we not more concerned for the immortal soul than the mortal bo­dy of our friend? Is it not because we are apt to look more at things that are seen, which are temporal, than at the things that are not seen, which are eter­nal? Could the clouds be removed, and the veil drawn aside that hides eternity from our sight, I be­lieve we should often be apt to forget to enquire whether this mortal body was healthy, and our first and last discourse when we met together would be concerning our soul's health, and that eternal life that shall never end. But you have not yet told me whether you are well.

I can answer concerning my body; thro' the mercy of GOD I am well. But when I think of my soul I hardly know what to say concerning that; but I cannot say it is in health, for it is almost surfeit­ed with the cares of this present life, which makes me feel unfit for the service of GOD or man. I long to have it otherways, but I cannot obtain my desire: If you can tell me of any way to be [...]ee [...] this care and trouble, I should be gl [...] to hear it.

I can joyfully tell you [...]ere is a way [Page] [Page 3] of peace: Come sit at the feet of the lovely JESUS; and first wash his feet with the tears of true re­pentance, and then sit and hear his sweet voice, saying, Daughter be of good comfort, though thou art a great sinner, I am a more great Savior: Thy sins are forgiven thee; go in peace. I say come sit and hear such comforting words as these, and see what will become of all your care and trouble.

O how happy I should be if I had nothing to do but to sit at JESUS' feet and hear his words; but there is so much necessary service for me to do in the affairs of this world, that it not only takes up my time, but takes up my mind also too much, and causes many troubles: So that I am sometimes ready to wish that I had wings [...] a dove, that I might fly away and be at rest.

You seem to think you should be happy if you had nothing to do but to sit at JESUS' feet and hear his words, but I can tell you we should always be at the feet of JESUS, let our work be what it will. Our trouble does not consist in what we have to do or suffer; but sin is the cause of all our trouble. We may be as truly at the feet of CHRIST, and take as much pleasure when we are doing his will, as when we have nothing to do but to sit and hear his words. It is pleasant to know what our LORD commands us to do, but much of our happiness [...] in doing his will. Therefore you are unwise to wish for wings to fly away to find rest; for true rest is only to be found in the place where our wise LORD sees fit to put us: There is the best place in all the world for us to take de­light, if we can but cast our troublesome sins away.

But what shall I do with all the cares that perplex my mind.

Cast all your care upon the LORD, for he careth for you; and let your care be to do your duty every day: Let your m [...]nd be stayed on him, and he will keep you in perfect peace. We bring need­less trouble upon ourselves, by trying to do the work that the LORD hath told us he will do himself. It is the LORD's work to take care of his children. Our kind Father knows his poor children are not fit to ca [...]ve for themselves and therefore he hath revealed it to be his will that they should trust themselves and all their concerns wholly in his faithful hands. He knows what we have need of▪ and our GOD will supply all our need. He will give grace and glory, and no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly: Then our care should be to see that we walk uprightly.

But what shall I do when my heaven­ly Father seems to frown upon me, and Providence works so that it looks as if all was against me?

Then trust in the LORD and stay upon your GOD; tho' he slay you, yet say you will trust in him. If you are in trouble, call on the LORD for help▪ but never let a murmuring tho't have any stay in your soul. How unreasonable it is for poor, dark, short-sighted mortals to think they could order any matter more wisely than it is ordered by Him who is infinitely wise of heart and mighty in power. Though Providence may look ever so dark to you, yet as certain as you can be that you love GOD, so certain you may be that all things are working to­gether for your good. I think this word in Rom. viii. 28. is worthy of a moments meditation. "And we know" Here is something it seems the Saints have a sure knowledge of, [...]et things look ever so dark; though they may be destitute, [Page 5] afflicted and tormented ever so much, yet they may say, We know "that all things;" (this is a very comprehensive word, it takes in all the mercies and afflictions the Saints can meet with in time) "work together for good to them that love GOD."—As a skilful Physician would ap­ply many medicines to a man afflicted with many sore diseases, some of the medicines might be sweet and some bitter, telling him, all shall work to­gether for good: So our dear Redeemer deals with us in wisdom and love. He caused us to hear his sweet voice, which brought us to life when we were dead in trespasses and sins; yet we are still afflicted with many sore diseases, all which he has undertook to cure. And there ne­ver was or will be a Physician on earth worthy to be compared with him: He is infinite in know­ledge, and of never-failing skill. Then let us rest ourselves safely in his hands, and be exceed­ing joyful in all our tribulations, nothing doubt­ing but that the bitterest pill will do the most good. I find I cannot express clearly what I see of these things; but I hope you understand my mind by my weak expressions.

I believe I understand your mean­ing, though your expressions are short; I know by experience that the ideas of the soul can run be­yond what can be communicated by words. But can it be as you say? Does the high and lofty One that inhabits eternit [...], who makes Heaven his throne, and the earth his footstool, condescend [...] take a special care of any of his poor, sinful crea­tures here on earth? Will he overrule all the af­fairs they trust in his hands, so that all shall pros­per, and not suffer any thing to hurt them by [Page 6] any means: I think if the case be so, and if I am one that he takes such care of, I have brought much needless trouble upon myself.

If you think this is too good news to be true, go to the Scriptures and search for your­self: I desire to assert nothing for truth in matters of religion, but what can be proved by the Scrip­tures; and what I find there I depend upon for certain truth. We read of the godly man, that whatsoever he doth shall prosper. And there is no want to them that fear the LORD. As the moun­tains are round about Jerusalem, so the LORD is round about them that fear him▪ Blessed are all they that put their trust in him. The blessed JE­SUS speaks plainly of this matter [...]n Matt. vi. 24, to the end of the chap. CHRIST saith, See that ye be not troubled. Fear not is often repeated. But the Scriptures that prove the care the LORD takes of his children, and their safety and duty to trust themselves and all they have in his hands, are too numerous to repeat.

Truly the Scriptures are full of such consolations; I see they fully prove more than you have said. Our glorious Redeemer takes such constant care and particular notice of his children, that there shall not an hair of their head perish without his leave. And he hath surely pro­mised over and over, by many words, that he will do them good. I see that I am a foolish child. I have troubled myself about things that did not belong to me. I mourn to think of what I have done. I have been as it were trying to take the LORD's work out of his hands, and the work he hath appointed for me to do I have too much ne­glected. O that I could always live as happy as [Page 7] you do when you sit weeping at the feet of our lovely JESUS! I know by experience that's a joyful place to sit at So joyful that I believe none ever sit there long before they weep for joy. Tho' I am too careful and troubled about many things, yet at some happy moments I have known the joy of weeping at my Master's feet. At first I began to weep for sorrow, but as soon as I heard his soul-reviving voice I began to weep for joy. And while you have been telling how happy we might live, my own experience appears and gives in a witness of the truth of what you say.

I can join with you in mourning my folly. I also wish that I could always live as hap­py as you do when you sit weeping at the Master's feet: But I am ashamed of myself; I see that the proper place for me to be is, not only at the feet of CHRIST but also at the feet of all his children. I think I should be thankful if I may be permitted like a dog to pick up the crumbs that fall from the blessed Master's table, where he feeds his children. When I take a view of myself, I can find no good there, all looks dark and melancho­ly. Self is an unpleasant field for meditation. If I stay there long▪ I shall be in danger of starving.

Self is an unpleasant field indeed; but I am so foolish that I stay there sometimes until my soul is almost starved to death.

We should stay looking of ourselves no longer than just to see that there is no good there, and then hasten away from this barren wilderness, and enter the pleasant field where our beloved Savior shews his most beautiful face. Let us be speaking of the glory of his kingdom, and telling of his wondrous works. Let us be me­ditating [Page 8] of his power, and telling of his salvation from day to day. Let us behold and admire the infiniti perfections of our GOD, until we can say thou art altogether lovely; thou hast made me glad through thy work, and I will triumph in the works of thy hands. O how sweet and now plea­sant! Here's matter enough to afford a joyful song! We may glory in the LORD and rejoice in the LORD; our souls may make their boast in the LORD. Let us walk out into this field to meditate. This field is so large and contains such a variety of beauties and pleasures, we may be always finding something new. Here is to be found all manner of precious fruits for the soul to feed upon. Here we may glean a little such food as we expect to live upon in the heavenly world Therefore let none ever meet us in any other field.

Truly this is a sweet field for meditation: I have spent many sweet hours there in times past, and I could wish it might be the place of my a­bode: But alas I live a mourner's life! I conclude I am more easily led astray than any other mortal that ever tasted of the love of JESUS. For when at any time my dear LORD leads me away from all my troubles into the field of pleasure, and there my soul begins to feast and take delight, then some trifling care, or some vain temptation comes and takes me by the hand, and I am so foolish that away I go, and forsake the paths of upright­ness to walk in the ways of darkness: Then I am in trouble, and many sorrows compass me about. Thus I destroy myself; but I cannot help my­self. What shall I do in such a case? How shall I get back when I have run away from CHRIST?

I will try to answer your question ac­cording [Page 9] to the testimony of Scripture, and the witness of experience. It is a mournful and a shameful thing to run away from the blessed JESUS, who is the spring of all our life, joy and pleasure. But since we are such foolish chil­dren that we are very apt to leave our Father's rich table to feed among the swine, how shall we get back again? We can run away from CHRIST, but we can never return to him again without his special assistance; but yet there is a duty for us to do, tho' fallen never so low. We are active creatures, and therefore we must be active in returning again to our Father's house. Tho' we are sunk as low, and bound as fast as Jo­nah was, yet from thence we must look towards his holy temple, and cry to him that is able to help us.

But sometimes I am in a worse case than Jonah, when he was in the whales belly: for tho' he had no way to help himself, yet he had praying breath, so that he could cry to the LORD for help and was heard and soon relieved. But as for me I am often swallowed up by worldly cares or carnal security, or something as bad, and carried down the stream against my will, and yet I have no heart to pray, and it seems like mockery to ask for help in words when the LORD knows my heart is not engaged therein.

This is a sad case indeed; but even in such a case we ought to pray and not to faint. If we stay here and yield to sin, and give over trying to ask for help we shall be in danger of growing harder and harder, until our last state is worse than the first. (Not that I think any will utter­ly fall from saving grace; but grace will surely [Page 10] teach all that possess it to pray.) Therefore we must exert all our power in begging and pleading to the LORD for help, and never give over tho' he gives us no answer, or tho' the enemy tells us to hold our peace, yet let us cry so much the more. Tho' the blessed JESUS should long hide his face; and at length frown upon us and tell us it is not meet to give children's bread to such dogs as we he; yet we must not give out for that, but ac­knowledge the truth thereof; yet plead with the dogs to be permitted to eat of the children's crumbs. We must, like the poor prodigal, resolve to return, tho' we feel ourselves a great way off in a foreign land and our compassionate Father will run to meet his returning children. He pities them when he sees them toiling all night for no­thing; and he is pleased with their earnest en­deavors, tho' he knows that without him they can do nothing. The love of our Redeemer is such, that when he sees we can live no longer without him, he will appear and turn our night into day, and our sorrow shall be sweetened with joy. O how our hearts rejoice to see our LORD again, after we have been enclosed in clouds and thick darkness! Glory to his name that he blots out as a cloud our transgressions, and as a thick cloud our sins, and comes for our relief: When all other refuge fails us, the Beauty of Heaven comes leaping on the mountains, and skipping on the hills. Then we mourn and rejoice at the same time; our own works make us mourn, and cause us shame. We see that to us belongs no­thing but shame and confusion of face because we have sinned against such a holy GOD; but we rejoice in the LORD who is the rock of our salva­tion. [Page 11] Then we resolve never to run away from our lovely JESUS again. We long to get more near to him still. His love is so attracting, that the more we see of his glory, the more we long to see.

When this is the happy case, how shall we keep ourselves in the love of GOD?

None but the LORD can keep us, yet he hath appointed a work for us to do, so that we ought to be as active as tho' we could do all our­selves. We must work out our own salvation with fear and trembling; yet every soul that o­beys this command knows it is GOD that works within them both to will and to do of his good pleasure. This is a mistery that cannot be un­folded by words as it may be understood by feel­ing the truth thereof by experience. I think by Scripture and experience that the only way to live in the sensible possession of the love of GOD, is to keep his commands: As JESUS says, He that lov­eth me will keep my commands, and my Father will love him, and we will come and make our abode with him. We must watch and pray continually▪ tho' at some happy moments we may feel as tho' the danger is all past, and the enemies are all dead; but there is never more need of watching than at such a time; for our enemies are still alive and lie hid waiting to see us led down our watch. Therefore let us hold fast what we have received, and see that we do not lose the ground that thro' grace we have gained. We must pray without ceasing, for all our strength and help comes from CHRIST. We must watch and search, and study and pray to know what our LORD would have us to do. Our happiness greatly consists in doing his will. It was the meat of our great Redeemer to [Page 12] do his Father's will and to finish his work: And O how sweetly do his children grow when they feed upon the same heavenly meat! If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them. If we long to glorify GOD let us bear much fruit. We must also watch against every motion of sin: Re­sist the first vain thought that comes: Keep our hearts with all diligence: Take heed lest our evil hearts depart from the LORD. And tho' our ene­mies are lively and strong, too strong for us, yet the weapons of earnest prayer will prevail when nothing else will do, if we are but constant to fight against our spiritual enemies, through the strength of CHRIST, we shall surely prevail against them. Resist the devil and CHRIST will make him flee. I speak by experience (and I think it agrees with the Scriptures.) Whenever I have been engaged in war against my sins, tho' I had no strength of my own, yet the LORD suffered not my enemies to triumph over me; but as soon as I grew careless and laid down my weapons, my ene­mies prevailed and brought me into bondage; and there my wise LORD let me be, until I saw my folly and tasted the bitter fruit of unwatchfulness.

My experience bears witness to the truth of these things, and I resolve to try to be more watchful than I have been; but I know I can do nothing in my own strength. I think I see the narrow way, and it looks exceeding bright and beautiful, and I long to walk therein. But there is nothing more base than I am. I see I am much defiled with sin. O for deliverance from sin! It is sin is the cause of all my trouble. I would do good, but evil is present with me. I know that in me, that is in my flesh dwells no good thing. [Page 13] But why should I stand still looking o [...] myself? Be­hold the Lamb of GOD has died for the chief of sinners! I will run and fall down at his blessed feet, for I have no where else to go. Behold I see, thro' a glass darkly a little glimpse of his glory, and my heart is ravished at the sight! Tho' my own comliness is turned to corruption before him, yet the joy far exceeds the sorrow. Let me be abased, I care not how much if JESUS is but exalt­ed. As for my iniquities. I believe he will purge them away. He is able to cleanse my defiled soul by that [...] [...]ighty power, whereby he is able to subdue all things to himself. Now, my Sister, re­joice with me and bless the LORD. Come mag­nify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together. Glory to GOD for the peace I now en­joy! Now I can trust myself, soul and body and all my concerns for time and eternity, in the hands of this lovely One. He will perform all things for me exactly right. I see that he hath done all things well. Why have I been so careful and troubled about many things, when there is but one thing needful? May I but have CHRIST to dwell in my heart by faith, I have enough, all is well. O the love of JESUS how sweet it is!

But my soul seems to be in a cage, so I can't fly away and sing as I desire, as I believe the birds of paradise do above. Come Lord Jesus come quickly.

Dear Sister I rejoice with you. Glo­ry to GOD alone. You speak my heart, and I trust I have spoke yours. Come let us sing as well as we can while we remain in the cage. Quickly our Wellbeloved will send the messenger Death, or come himself and set our longing souls at liberty. Then we shall obtain all our desires: We shall leave all our sins behind us; and they can never follow us into that holy City above, for there shall in no case enter any thing that defileth. Then shall we be as holy as we can desire. Then we shall be satisfied with the love of him who is al­together lovely. Then we shall be able to praise him as we desire, and all the excellent ones in Heaven and earth will join and help us praise our GOD forever! Now we receive but now and then a drop of sweet love and heavenly joy; but then we shall drink of the river of pleasure for­evermore. O blessed hope! full of consolati­on! Sweet and pleasant is the way, and sweet will be the end of our journey.

[Page 15] He is altogether lovely! His justice and mer­cy are lovely. All his dealings with his children are altogether lovely. We may trust in him and not be afraid of earth or Hell. I can say hitherto the LORD hath helped me. Here I desire to set up a pillar of remembrance, and never forget what I now see of the safety of trusting in the LORD. If all the Angels in Heaven and all the men on earth should promise to stand by me and be my friends in all dangers, it could not make me feel so safe as I now feel in the hands of my GOD. The LORD is my strength and song. Glory to GOD alone!

Glory to GOD for what he hath done for your soul. I have had a simpathy with your sor­row, and I rejoice for your joy and consolation. O the sweet uniting love of JESUS! If the fellow­ship of the spirit is so sweet here, while all our grace is mixed with sin, and all our joy is mixed with sorrow, how unspeakably sweet will our fellowship be when we shall meet together in the world of glory, freed from all sin, with our soul [...] bodies refined and made immortal, deck­ed with the beauty of our glorious Head! O how unworthy am I to hope for such unspeakable blessings; I know I deserve Hell, yet I believe my GOD will bring me safely to Heaven: Not for any worthiness in me, but for his own name's sake. Glory to GOD!

MAR. O I long to run faster towards the glori­ous prize! All the troubles of time are nothing in my way, when the eye of faith is fixed on JESUS.

ASHFIELD, March 17, 1791.