CHAP. I.

I Was born in the Township of Nottingham, in the County of Chester, and Province of Pennsylvania, on the Fourth Day of the Sixth Month, 1705, and was tenderly brought up in profession of the Truth by my parents, JOHN and HANNAH CHURCHMAN, who were diligent atten­ders of Religious Meetings, both on the first, and other days of the week, and encouragers of their children in that practice, which is certainly a duty [Page 2] in parents so to do, and often owned by the reaches of Divine Love, even to those who are very young in years, of which I am a living Witness; for tho' I early felt reproof for bad words and actions, yet knew not whence it came, until about the age of eight years, as I sat in a small meeting, the Lord by the reaches of his heavenly love, and goodness, so overcame and tendered my heart, and by his glorious light discovered to me the knowledge of himself, that I saw myself, and what I had been doing, and what it was which had re­proved me for evil, and was made in the secret of my heart to confess that, childhood and youth, and the foolish actions and words, to which they are propense, are truly vanity; yet blessed for ever be the name of the Lord! who in his infinite mercy and goodness clearly informed me, that if I would mind the discoveries of his Truth, and pure Light for the future, what I had done in the time of my ignorance, he would wink at and for­give; and Oh! the stream of Love which filled my heart with solid Joy at that time, and lasted for many days, is beyond all expression; indeed I was early taught to think different from such who hold the perdition of infants, and am since con­firmed in fully believing that the sin of our first parents is not imputed to us, (tho' as their off­spring we are by nature prone to evil, which brings wrath) until by the discovery of light and grace, we are taught to distinguish between good and evil, and in the seed and inward principle that sheweth the evil, we feel the enmity placed against the evil, and the author thereof, the devil, or wicked one; if we afterwards commit those things which we saw to be evil, we then fall under condemnation, and wrath, and here every soul that sins must die to the sin he hath committed, and witness the being [Page 3] raised again by the power of God, into newness of life in CHRIST JESUS, not to live to himself, to fulfil the will of the flesh; but to live unto him, who died to take away sin.

I may not forget to relate this one thing; my father sent me about three miles on an errand; I rode a mare which had a colt perhaps half a year old; on my return home, the colt ran-away from the mare to a company of wild horses, which were feeding not far from the path I was in, so I went home without the colt; my father asked me where the colt was, I told him where it went from me; he bid me go to the place with speed, that it might follow the mare home; I went, and found the wild horses feeding on a piece of ground where the timber trees had been killed perhaps about two, or three years; but before I went among the dead trees, a mighty wind arose, which blew some down, and many limbs flew about; I stood still with my mind turned inward to the Lord, who I believed was able to preserve me from hurt; so I passed among the trees without fear, save the fear of the Lord, which fills the hearts of his humble depend­ing children, with love that is stronger than death; I found the colt, which readily followed the mare, and I returned home with great bowedness of heart, and thankfulness to the Lord, for his mercy and goodness to me on this occasion.

It was my practice when I went to bed, to exa­mine how I had spent the past day, and to endea­vour to feel the presence of the Lord near, which I did for some considerable time prefer to all other things, and I found this practice a great help to sleep sweetly, and by long experience I can recommend it to children, and those also of riper age.

I suppose that no one living knew my condition; for I delighted to keep hidden, yet quick to observe [Page 4] the conduct of others; I remember that a person once at my father's who spake about religious mat­ters with an affected tone, as if he was a good man; when he went away, I was near him, and when he mounted his horse, taking a dislike to some of his motions, he called him an ugly dumb beast, with such an accent, as bespake great displeasure, and grieved me much; for I did believe, that a man whose mind was sweetened with divine love truly, would not speak wrathfully, or diminutively, even of the beasts of the field, which were given to man for his use, he did not make them himself; I relate this instance, that it may be a warning to all, that they be careful of giving offence to the little ones.

Notwithstanding I had been favoured as before mentioned; yet as I grew in years, I was much given to play, and began to delight again in several things, for which I had before been reproved, and still by the divine witness in my mind, was brought under judgment for; but having lost my innocence and covering of the pure blessed spirit, I endea­voured through fear to fly from the voice of the holy spirit in my own heart; the enemy persuaded me, that I could never be restored to my former state, because I had sinned against so great know­ledge, or if I was, the judgment through which I must pass, would be intolerable to bear, so that I had better be chearful, and take my ease and de­light; but when I was about nine years old, my father sent me to school to learn to read, (having been taught to know my letters, and spell a little at home) in which I took great delight, and thereby diverted myself from feeling my pain of mind, for the great loss of my innocence which I had sustain­ed; and altho' the man, by whom I was taught, was poor, and sat in his loom, being a weaver, while the children read to him, I improved very [Page 5] fast, and he soon put me to writing, and finding my capacity full as ripe as is common in boys of that age, he began to teach me Arithmetic; yet gracious goodness still favored me with conviction, and by his spirit was witness against me, and in mercy the Lord visited me with a sore fit of sick­ness, and by his rod of correction brought me a little more to myself; this was in the forepart of the winter, when I was between nine, and ten years of age, and being pretty well recovered for some weeks, I had in the following spring a relapse of the same disorder, (the pleurisy) in which, by out­ward correction with sickness, and inward judg­ment, he was pleased to draw me to himself, which caused me to renew my covenant with him, and I did hope never more to stray from him, to follow lying vanities, whose sweets I had experienced to be bitter, yea exceeding bitterness in the end. I had taken great delight from a child to play with whis­tles, and pipes, made of the bark of small branches of trees, and of straws of wheat and rye; but now it grieved me to observe children delight therein, and I ventured to tell my mind to some of them concerning such things

Man is distinguished from other creatures not only by his voice; but by varying the breath toge­ther with the orderly motion of tongue and lips; that voice is made to convey the ideas of the mind, and thoughts of the heart to his fellow-creatures, and as he was created to glorify his maker, the end and intention of his voice should be directed to promote his glory among men; whether in things natural, or spiritual, that is of this life, or that to come; music as now commonly used, and whistling and singing, have no such tendency; but are rather diversions of the mind from what it ought to be employed about, and therefore a base comsumption [Page 6] of precious time, which man must be accountable for, which if enough regarded, instead of music, whistling, and singing merry, foolish, and prophane songs, many would have occasion to lament and weep for their mispent time. I leave it as a caution to parents, to beware of indulging their dear chil­dren in any thing, which may impress their tender minds with a desire after music, or such diversion when they grow in years; but that instead thereof, by living in the pure fear of the Lord, and near the spirit of truth in their own hearts, they may be furnished with example, and precept to direct the minds of their offspring, to attend to the voice of him who called to Samuel in days of old, and re­mains to be the same teacher to his people in this age; may his holy name be magnifyed for ever, and ever!

I retained my care, and circumspection for some time; but through unwatchfulness, and a desire for play which led into lightness, and forgetfulness, I lost this state before I was twelve years of age, and tho' the Lord was near, and followed me by his reproof, in order to bring me under judgment, I fled from it as much as I could; having let in a belief, that as I had been favoured to taste in so wonderful a manner, "of the good word of Life, and power of the world to come, and had so shamefully fallen away, there remained for me, no more sacrifice for sin; but a fearful looking for of judgment, and fiery indignation," which as I thought seemed to burn in me to that degree, that I was afraid to be alone, for it seemed to be loudly proclaimed in me, that whether I eat, or drank, waked, or slept I was accursed, and when alone I abhorred myself; but when in company used my utmost endeavors to hide my condition, by being chearful and arch in my discourse, and was thought by most young people to [Page 7] have a knack as they called it, at jesting and witty turns; yet even in this time, I entertained such a value for religion, that I was not willing to reveal my situation; lest I should be a reproach thereto, or discourage others from seeking happiness; but when night came, and I went to bed, no tongue can express the anguish I felt, afraid to lay awake, and afraid to desire sleep, lest I should be cut off from the land of the living, and my portion appoint­ed in utter darkness; I so far neglected my learn­ing, that when about thirteen years old, I could not read but in a poor manner, tho' once noted to be a ready reader; I was not willing that good friends should take notice of me, or look me stea­dily in the face; for I thought they would discern my wickedness, and it would be a trouble to them, or by their reproving me, add to my distress; I seemed to be left without any power to resist what I knew to be evil, and being ashamed that I had so lost my little learning, I sought to divert myself by endeavouring to regain it; my former genius, and delight so returned, that when I was about fifteen years of age, I had made great improvement, not only in reading, but in writing, and arithmetick, and several branches of the mathematicks, and be­gan to value myself in some degree thereon, and so got over the convictions of the divine witness, which spoke trouble in me; nevertheless during this time I kept close in attending meetings, hoping at seasons, that perhaps the Lord would condescend once more to visit me; for a saying of an eminent pious man was revived in my remembrance ‘That if there remained a desire in the heart after Re­demption, as it was kept to, the Lord would again assuredly visit such in his own time.’ So that I was fearful of neglecting meetings, if my parents had not forwarded me, lest I might miss of [Page 8] the good intended for me; yet the subtle working of the power of darkness was at times very great, suggesting to me that all things came by nature, and that there was no God, no heaven, no devil; no punishment for evil, religion a jest, and painful care about futurity a silly whim, propagated to de­prive people of pleasure; but blessed be the Lord! he preserved me from that snare, for while I felt his judgment for sin, I believed in his Being, and holiness, and I am indeed fully of the mind, that no man can be an Atheist before he acts contrary to knowledge, when to allay the horror, and an­guish of mind, he feels for the commission of sin, he closes in with this temptation. At other times, the same subtle power would tempt me to dispair of mercy, which if given way to, would lead to distraction; but the hand of the Lord was under­neath, tho' for my disobedience he suffered me to remain in the wilderness, and to dwell among fiery serpents, until he had wasted that in me, which lusted after forbidden things.

In this state I continued until I was about nine­teen years of age, and as I was walking one day to meeting, thinking on my forlorn condition, and remembring the bread in my heavenly Father's house, when I was a dutiful child, and that by straying from him, and spending my portion, I had been eight years in grievous want, I inwardly cried, if thou art pleased again to visit me, I be­seech thee Oh Lord! visit my body with sickness, or pain, or whatever thou may please, so that the will of the old man may be slain with the trans­gression, and every thing in me, that thy contro­versy is against, that I may be made a sanctified vessel by thy power; spare only my life, until my redemption is wrought, and my peace made with thee!

[Page 9]About this time my father died in the tenth month, 1724, which was a great loss to our whole family, and as he had allotted me to live with, and take care of my mother, it became my duty to keep mostly at home; I spent near a year much in the condition above mentioned; often out of hope of ever attaining to that state, I had witnessed when very young; but in the fall of the year after I had arrived to the age of 20 years; it pleased the Lord to remember me, who had been an Exile, in cap­tivity under the old taskmaster in Egypt spiritually, and by his righteous judgments mixed with unspeak­able mercies, to make way for my deliverance; I was visited with a sore fit of sickness, which in a few days so fully awakened me, that I had no hope of ever being again intrusted with health; my mispent time, and all my transgressions were brought to my remembrance, and heavy judgment was upon me for them; I was met with in this narrow path, and could no longer fly from God and his spirit in my conscience, whose sore displeasure I had justly in­curred. I had heard of men who had been noto­rious offenders, and fled from the justice of the common law, until they became out-lawed; such in a spiritual sense my case appeared to be; I thought I had as it were heard an act of grace and free pardon repeatedly proclaimed, if I would re­turn and live uprightly for the future; but in the time of such visitations, I concluded it was only to bring me under judgment to take me from my pleasure, for that mine offences would never be pardoned, and so I had withstood, or neglected those visitations; I now saw clearly, that herein I had followed the lying suggestions of satan mine enemy: At this time my old will in the fallen na­ture gave up it's life, and I cryed, " I am not worthy to live or enjoy favour, yet Oh Lord! if thou wilt be pleased to look on me with an eye of pitty, do [Page 10] what thou wilt with me, magnify thy own name, pre­pare me by thy judgments and power that thy mercy may be shewn in and by me, whether thou cut the thread of my life, or shall grant me more days, which is only in thy power;" now my heart was made exceeding­ly tender, I wept much, and an evidence was given me, that the Lord had heard my cry, and in mercy looked down on me from his holy habitation, and a willing heart and patience was given me to bear his chastisements and the working of his eternal word of power, which created all things at the beginning, and by which poor fallen man only is created a new in the heavenly Image, and prepared to praise him with acceptance, who lives for ever, and ever.

Whilst I lay in this condition, perhaps I was thought by those who watched with me to be near expiring; but tho' I said little or nothing, I believe I was quite sensible, yet exceedingly weakened, having for about twenty-four hours felt more in­ward and inexpressible anguish, than outward pain, which was no doubt great; I take it to be toward the morning of the fifth day and night of my illness, that I felt the incomes and owning of divine love in a greater degree than ever; for the prospect I had of so great forgiveness made me love the more; for love is ever reciprocal. I remember, that I saw the morning light, and thought all things looked new and sweet; I lay where the sun shone near, or on my bed, and have sometimes since thought, that being weak, the strength of the light and too much company hurt me; I leave this hint to excite nurses and those who have the care of very weak indispo­sed people to beware of letting over much light come upon them, or many visitors, except they be such who are sensible of the weak by being inward and quiet, waiting to feel the sympathy which truth gives, the company of such being truly re­freshing.

[Page 11]It pleased the Lord so to restore me, that I re­covered my usual strength, and was frequently humbled under a sense of the tender dealings of a merciful God, whose goodness and owning love I felt to be very near; I then loved retirement and inwardly to feel after the incomes of life, and was often fearful lest I should again fall away. In this time it was manifested to me, that if in patience I stood faithful, I should be called to the work of the ministry; I loved to attend religious meetings, especially those for discipline, and it was clearly shewn me, that all who attend those meetings should inwardly wait in great awfulness, to know the im­mediate presence of Christ the head of the Church, to give them an understanding what their several services are, and for ability to answer the requirings of truth, for it is by the light, and spirit thereof, that the Lord's work is done with acceptance, and none should presume to speak, or act without its motion, and direction; for they who act and speak without it, do often darken counsel, mislead the weak, and expose their own folly, to the burthen, and grief of sensible friends; it was in great fear, that I attempted to speak in these meetings, and as I kept low with an eye single to the honour of truth, I felt peace, and inward strength to in­crease from time to time, and it is good for all who are concerned to speak to matters in meetings for discipline, in the first place to take heed that their own spirits do not prompt thereto, and to mind the time when to speak fitly; for a word in season from a pure heart, is precious, and frequently prevents debates instead of ministring contention, and when they have spoken to business, they should turn in­ward to feel whether the pure truth owns them, and in that rest, without an over anxious care whe­ther it succeeds at that time, or not, so friends will be preserved from being lifted up, because their [Page 12] service is immediately owned; or if it should be rejected, or slighted, in this inward humble state the labour is felt, and seen to be the Lord's.

It is a great favour from the Lord, that he is pleased to cover his children with his pure fear, and array their souls with the garment of humility, that they may stand in his presence with acceptance, waiting to be taught of his ways, in meekness to be guided in judgment; these only feel the necessity of minding that excellent exhortation ‘Be ye stedfast, immoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord.’ In a degree of reverent thankfulness, I bless the name of the Lord through his beloved Son, that I then according to my mea­sure knew what I now write, it was a time of grow­ing with me, I rarely passed a day without feeling the incomes of divine life, and was favoured strong­ly to desire "The sincere milk of the holy word," that in humility I might grow thereby in substance; but afterwards I was left, and withdrawn from, so that for days, yea many days together, I was with­out inward refreshment, and ready to fear that I had offended my gracious Redeemer, and being thoughtful, and inwardly engaged to know the cause, I had to consider, that children tho' they may be thriving, and darlings of their natural pa­rents, are not fit for much business, until they are weaned, and altho' they grow finely, they are gra­dually taught to wait the appointed time between meals, before they have much care of their father's business, and are further prepared, so as to miss a set meal, or be a longer time without outward food, before they are sit for a journey, and with these thoughts, (leaving the reader to judge from whence they came) a hope began to revive in me, that I was not forsaken, which indeed, as I kept patient, I was abundantly sensible of at times, even those times which are in the Lord's hand; for his chil­dren [Page 13] experience that the times of refreshment come from him, who when he hath exercised and proved them in his infinite kindness is pleased to cause them to sit down, and condescends himself to serve them. Blessed for ever be the name of the Lord who knows how to prepare his soldiers to remain faithful, and to indure with patience (what the na­tural man would account) hardness!

I had strong desires that elderly friends should be good examples to the youth, not only in word, and conversation, but in meetings for the worship of God, and it grieved me exceedingly to see any of them overcome with sleep, and my concern for one friend on that account, was so great, that I knew not what was best to do, and reasoned after this manner, Lord! thou knowest that I am young, and he an elderly man, he will not take it well, that I should speak to him, and perhaps I may yet fall; and if so the more I take upon me, the greater my fall will be; besides, tho' I have spoken in meetings for discipline, when truth hath been strong upon me, yet out of meetings, I am not fit to reprove, or speak to particulars: For I was cautious indeed in those days, of talking about religion, or good things, from a fear of getting a habit thereof, and so not know the true motion; which I thought I had observed to be the failing of some. In this streight it came into my mind to go to the person in the night, as the most private time, and manner; for if I took him aside before, or after a meeting, others might wonder for what, and I might betray my weakness, and reproach the good cause, and do no good, and if the friend should be displeased with me, he might publicly shew, what otherwise he would conceal after a private deliberation; so in the evening I went, desiring the Lord to go with me, and guide me, if it was a motion from him; when I came to the house it was dark, I cal­led, [Page 14] and the friend came out to see who was there, and invited me in, I told him I was in haste to go home; but wanted to speak with him if he pleased, and so passed quietly toward home, to draw him from the door, and then told him my concern for him in a close, honest, plain manner, and without staying to reason much, left him in a tender loving disposition, as I believe; I returned home with great inward peace; when thou doest, or givest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right doth, was an excellent precept; that left hand of self should not act in such things, no matter how privately they are done, they often answer the end better; neither is it a fault to lay things low, and familiar, the truth will have its own weight, and accompany what it dictates with its own evi­dence. My intention in writing this, is to encou­rage the humbled careful traveller in the way of his duty. At some times, it appeared to be likely to do most good to write my mind to some, which I did with success, as I aimed only at a discharge of du­ty, in the most private manner, and the good of those to whom I wrote.

When I had entered the twenty fifth year of my age, I accomplished marriage with Margaret Brown a virtuous young woman, whom I had loved as a sister for several years, because I believed she loved religion; I think I may say safely, it was in a good degree of the Lord's pure fear, and a sense of the pointings of truth, on both sides, that we took each other on the 27 th day of the eleventh month 1729, (old stile) in an appointed meeting at East Notting­ham, and I thought that our Heavenly Father owned us with his presence at that time. The Covenants made in marriage are exceeding great, and I think they never can be rightly kept, and truly performed without Divine assistance; and am convinced, if all who enter into a marriage state would in the Lord's [Page 15] fear truly seek his assistance, they would know their own tempers kept down, and instead of jarring, and discord, unity of spirit, harmony of conduct, and a concern to be examplary to their offspring would increase, and be maintained.

The Summer following, in the year 1730, a Monthly-meeting was settled at Nottingham, (being before a branch of New-Garden monthly-meeting) by the advice, and appointment of the quarterly-meeting; this brought a fear, and weighty concern upon me, and many others, that the affairs of Truth might be managed to the honour thereof; for we had but few substantial elderly friends. In a sense of our weakness, it was the breathing desire of my soul, that the Lord would be pleased for his own sake, and the honour of his great Name, to be near to his children, and inspire them with wisdom, and judgment for his own work; and blessed forever be his holy Name! I believe he heard our cry, and in measure answered our prayers; being kept low, and humble, it was a growing time to several. My af­fection to friends of New-Garden monthly-meeting was so great, that for many months after we parted from them, I seldom missed attending it, and there­in had great satisfaction, and some of their members frequently attended ours, for our love towards each other was mutual.

When I was about twenty-six years of age, some friends were appointed to perform a family visit, and being desirous of my company, I joined with them, and therein felt the ownings of Truth in some de­gree; but notwithstanding I saw at times the states of families, and particulars, yet not in so clear a manner as I thought necessary to become my duty to open my mouth in the service, save now and then, in a private way to particulars, of which none knew except those to whom I spake. At one house the friends on the service had a good opportunity, seve­ral [Page 16] young folks, some of whom were not of the family being present; I felt the Divine presence to be very near, and a motion to conclude that sitting in supplication, and thanksgiving to the Lord, but was not hasty, for fear of doing what was not re­quired of me, so omitted it, and afterwards asked an experienced worthy minister, if he had ever known any friend appear in a meeting in public prayer, before they had ever appeared in public testimony; which enquiry I made in such a manner as to give him no mistrust of me; he answered "nay, I believe it would be very uncommon," it struck me pretty closely, but I kept my condition very private; having been exceedingly fearful of deception, and now began to doubt whether it was not a delusion for me, to entertain an apprehension, that I should be called to the work of the ministry; the concern whereof had been at times very heavy upon me; tho', no motion that felt like a gentle command to break silence, until at the house before mentioned; now I let in reasoning, and so departed for a time from my inward guide and safest counsel­lor, as all assuredly will, who place their depend­ance on man for instruction, to perform duties re­quired of them; or who forbear, or reason against the humbling, gentle motions, and leadings of the spirit of truth: Much safer it is to attend steadily thereunto for instruction, and ability to perform religious services, which when so performed in meekness, we ought to be tender of the sentiments of our brethren concerning them, and not over confident of our call, and commission; for our bre­thren have a measure of the same spirit by which we are taught, and have a sense and right thereby given to judge of our service; a becoming dissidence of ourselves, and a readiness to attend to the advice of such, is ever the badge of true discipleship; humbling Divine Love teaches to esteem others, rather than ourselves.

[Page 17]This was an exercising time to me, but I did not discover it to any one; I seemed to be forsaken, tho' not sensible of much judgment for my omis­sion of duty, for I could with sincerity appeal to him who knoweth all things, that it did not proceed from willful disobedience, but a fear of following a wrong spirit, and a secret hope revived that my gracious Lord and master would not quite cast me off, and blessed be his holy name! he did not leave me very long before I was favoured as usual, but had no motion of the same kind.

When this visit was over, I kept much at home, yet was careful to attend meetings on the first and other days of the week, and found work enough to watch against a lukewarm, indolent Spirit, which would come over me when I sat down to wait upon God; tho' I came to the meeting in a lively warm en­gagement of mind, I found the warfare against luke­warmness, sleepiness, and a roving mind, must be steadily maintained, and if none of these hinder­ances were given way to, the Lord when he had proved his children, would arise for their help, and scatter his and their enemies, which my soul ex­perienced many times beyond expression: The Lord alone is all-powerful, and worthy to be waited upon and worshipped in humility and reverent adora­tion of soul for ever. Indolence and lukewarmness bring darkness, and death over a meeting, and when generally given way to, occasion hard work for even the most livingly exercised friends to get from under the burthen and weight thereof; it was a mercy that I was preserved seeking, and could not be satisfied without feeling the renewings of Divine favour, by which I rather grew in the root of re­ligion, tho' I thought very flow, but had hope it would be lasting.

The love of truth, I believe it was, and a desire that the discipline, and good order of the church [Page 18] might be maintained, made me willing to take con­siderable pains to attend neighbouring monthly meetings, which I think was a blessing to me in some good degree, being thereby often instructed; and I have often admired at the slackness of some, that suffer trifling things to keep them from their meetings for worship on week days, and first days; for tho' curiosity brings such to monthly meetings, they are seldom of any real service when they come, not being sensible of that pure Divine Love, in which the Church through its several members edi­fieth itself, and as any one becomes truly sensible thereof, they will delight to wait upon God, with their brethren and sisters, who is the fountain of pure Love, and so fills the hearts of his humble, depending children therewith, that by it, they are known to be his Disciples.

In the year 1731, our antient and worthy friend William Brown, who had been in the station of an elder many years, growing feeble, and incapable to to attend the Quarterly-meeting of ministers and elders, Friends of our particular meeting proposed me to the Monthly-meeting for that service, which brought a close exercise upon me, considering my­self a youth, and the weight of the service; but after a solid consideration, I found most peace in submitting to the meeting, with fervent inward de­sires, that the Lord would be pleased to be with me therein, to preserve me from acting, or judging in my own will and spirit, knowing that the service could not be performed but by wisdom, understand­ing, and ability from him; when I attended those large and weighty meetings of ministers and el­ders, the care and fear that was upon me is not easily expressed; and may I never forget the graci­ous condescension of kind providence, who was pleased to own me, by the shedding abroad of his love in my heart, that I verily thought, they re­sembled [Page 19] the school of the prophets, the High Priest, great Prophet, and Bishop of Souls, our Lord Jesus Christ being president among them.

An apprehension that I should be called to the ministry, and a concern on that account, had been, at times, for several years, weightily on my mind; but I now again thought I was mistaken in that be­lief, and that it was only a preparative to qualify me for the station of an elder, and thereby my exercise became somewhat lighter for a time; the tenderness and love I felt to those engaged in pub­lic ministry, was very great, and I believe I was made helpful to some by giving private hints, when and to whom I thought there was occasion, in plain­ness, simplicity and fear, which often afforded in­struction to myself as well as to them.

In 1733, I accompanied friends on another visit to families, wherein, at times, I felt the opening of truth in the love of it, and a few words to speak to the states of some, tho' in great fear, lest I should put my hand to that weighty work without the real requiring of duty; and at one family, on a morning pretty early, being the first we went to on that day, I thought it would be better for the whole family, in a religious sense, if the heads of it were more zealous in attending meetings: I saw the necessity of being examples to children and servants, by a careful attendance of meetings for worship on the first, and other days of the week; but I was so weak and poor, that I doubted whether it was my duty to mention any thing thereof to them, so con­cluded to omit it; by which I hoped to judge of what I had been about before, and so grew easy in my mind, and as we were on the way to the next house, I began to judge, that I had no real business to have said any thing at any house; and having for­borne in my own will, I was now left to my own judgment for a time, At the next house, friends were [Page 20] particularly opened, and tenderly concerned to speak to several states, and of several matters which I thought instructive; but I sat dry and poor, and so remained during our passage to the next house; where I fared no better, but worse; my feeling and judgment being quite gone, as to the service in which we were engaged; and tho' I did not say any thing to the other friends how it fared with me, yet they were affected therewith as I apprehended; I was in great darkness and distress, and sometimes thought of leaving the company privately, and go home, but again concluded, that would not only be a disappointment to my friends, but dishonoura­ble to truth, which made me determine to go for­ward, and endure my own pain, as much undis­covered as possible; my companions, as I before observed, were affected, and all save one seemed closed up from doing the service, and in the even­ing of the same day at the last house, all of them were silent. There was a school-house near, the master being a friend, and the children mostly be­longing to friends, whom some of our company appeared willing to visit, but others being doubtful, we omitted it, which now some thought was not right, and therefore this cloud of darkness and distress came upon us, and were willing to meet at the school-house next morning, to try if we could recover our former strength in the ownings of truth, which being agreed to, each took our way home, it being now night, and I alone, I rode slow, under a deep exercise of mind, and humble inquiry into the cause of my own distress, and after some time, be­ing favored with great calmness and quietude of mind, I was inwardly instructed after this manner, Thou sawest what was wanting in a family this morn­ing, and would not exhort to more diligence, or amend­ment in that respect, and therefore if they continue to do wrong, it shall be required of thee; on which I [Page 21] became broken in spirit, and cried in secret, may I not perform it yet, and be restored to thy favour? Oh Lord! I am now willing to do whatsoever thou requires of me, if thou wilt be pleased to be with me; and blessed be his name, in mercy he heard my supplication, and I was fully perswaded that I must go to the house again; which I concluded to do next morning, and went home with a degree of comfort, and being weary in body and mind, slept sweetly, and awoke in the morning quiet and easy in spirit, and now began to conclude, that I might meet my company, and be excused; but my cove­nant of going was brought to my remembrance, and I was given to believe, that peace was restored on condition of my performance; therefore I went to the house, tho' several miles distant, before sun­rise, the man of the house was up, he invited me in, and I followed him, and sitting down by the fire (being cool weather,) with my mind retired, I felt that I must not speak before the rest of the family, but rather in private, yet was fearful of calling him out, being unwilling to discover any thing to them; in the mean time, he went out, and walked the way I was to go, I followed, and told him how I felt when we were at his house the morning before, and could not be easy without exhorting him to be more careful in several respects, and a better exam­ple to his family in his attendance of meetings; he seemed affected, and said, he hoped he should mind my advice; I then left him, and met my companions at the school house, and enjoyed great peace. I leave this remark, to excite all to dwell in meekness and fear, and to beware of the will of the creature, and the reasonings of flesh and blood, which lead into doubting and disobedience; they who are faithful in small things, shall truly know an increase in that wisdom and knowledge which is from above.

[Page 22]Before we had gone through this visit, I attended the quarterly meeting of ministers and elders at Concord, and as I sat therein, the unwearied ad­versary renewed a former charge against me, by suggesting to my mind, that I might know I had been wrong and under a delusion, in entertaining a belief I should be called to the work of the mi­nistry; for that all who had ever been rightly en­gaged therein, it was in a cross greatly to the will of the creature, which was not my case, for I was willing; this I felt to be true, and was therefore now exceedingly distressed, not considering that I was made willing by the weight of the excercise, which had been several years at times very heavy upon me, until it seemed as a sire in my bones, and as tho' I was dumb with silence, I held my peace even from good, and my sorrow was stirred, my heart was hot within me, while I was musing the fire burned, Psal. xxxix. 2, 3. While under this conflict, a friend stood up with these words, Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, here am I, send me, Isa. vi. 8. Shewing, that ‘to them whose will was rightly subjected to the Lord, it became their meat and drink, to do the will of him, who had subjected them by his divine power, and influ­enced their hearts with his love to mankind;’ by which I was relieved, and my spirit humbled and made thankful. Next morning being the first day of the week; I went to Kennet meeting, and toward the close thereof, something appeared to my mind to offer, but was fearful, that the motion for speaking was not enough powerful, and had like to have for­borne, but remembring what I had suffered by ne­glecting a weak motion in a family visit, as already re­lated, I stood up, and spake a few sentences in great fear and brokenness of spirit, and had solid satisfacti­on. I attended the Quarterly-meeting of business at [Page 23] Concord on second day; on my return from whence home, I let in the old reasoner, who suggested to me, that if I was called to the public ministry, I had not waited for a sufficient commission to speak; for some had been raised up with great power, and authority they could not withstand, but that I might have been still and quiet, the motion was so gentle and low, and that I must not think to speak in pub­lic testimony in great meetings with so small a mo­tion, and in so doing, I had committed a sin that would not be readily forgiven, perhaps a sin against the Holy Ghost; my exercise was great, but as I endeavoured to be quiet in my mind, seeking to know the Truth of my present condition, I was secretly drawn to follow and attend to something, that spoke inwardly after this manner "if thou wast to take a lad, an entire stranger to thy lan­guage and business, however likely he appeared for service, thou must speak loud and distinctly to him, and perhaps with an accent or tone, that might shew thee to be in earnest, to engage his attention, and point out the business; but thou wouldst expect it should be otherwise with a child brought up in thine house, who knew thy language, and with whom thou hadst been familiar; thou would expect him to wait by thee, and watch thy motions, so as to be instructed by thine eye looking upon him, or point­ing thy finger, and wouldst rebuke, or correct such an one, if he did not obey thy will on such a small intelligent information." I was instantly relieved thereby, and leave my reader to judge from whence this intimation came; believing it would be no crime in me, to judge it to be from the Spirit of Truth, that was to lead and guide into all Truth.

When this meeting was over, being in the ninth month 1733, we proceeded to finish our family visit, the part which remained was on the west side of Susquehanna, at Bush river, and a few families be­gun [Page 24] to settle near Deer creek; we were remarkably favoured with the presence of our great and good Master, who opened the states of families to us, and gave ability to speak thereto; may his holy name be praised: The visit being finished, we re­turned home, and in a short time after; as I sat in a week day meeting, I had a few words fresh before me, with a gentle motion to deliver them, which I feared to omit, still remembring what followed a former neglect, so I expressed what was on my mind, and therein had peace, and afterwards was si­lent for several weeks, in which time I let in a fear, I was forsaken by my dear Lord and Master, whom I loved above all things, for I had no openings in heavenly things, as I thought, but was left poor and needy, yet I loved friends, and remembring a saying of a minister formerly; We know that we have passed from death unto life, because we love the Bre­thren, 1 John iii. 14. I hoped, that I was not quite forgotten; some remarkable sentences had fixed in my mind sometime before, which I now began to understand more sensibly, "ministry should be of necessity, and not of choice, and there is no living by silence, or by preaching merely;" for something in me was ready to wish to be employed, that I might have bread, for when I found a motion to speak, I had the owning love of the heavenly Father; which is and ever will be bread to his children; the crea­turely will, would choose and would be busy with questioning, is it not, or may it not be so and so; this is that womanish part, which is not permitted to speak in the church, it runs first into transgression, for want of learning of the husband at home, or be­ing in subjection to him, which if Eve had literally done, in stead of reasoning with the serpent that tempted, me might have been preserved from being a tempter. Our strength, preservation, health, and peace stand in our entire subjection to the will of the [Page 25] Lord, whether in silence or speaking, suffering, or reigning, still dwelling with the seed (Christ) in our own hearts; humbly waiting for, and feeling after, his power to arise, who is the Resurrection and the Life, and when he is pleased to appear, his children partake in measure of his glory!

I continued in the station of an Elder, and some times delivered a few sentences in public Testimony, which occasioned me to apprehend I should not be in my proper place, except I requested to be released from my eldership; after a time of weighty consi­deration, I modestly requested, that friends would consider my case, for instead of taking care of the ministry of others, I stood in need of the care of others, and that it would be relieving to my mind, if they would nominate an elder in my room, which was taken into consideration for a time; friends waiting I suppose to see what proof I should make of my ministry. I attended the winter quarterly meet­ing of ministers and elders, and had to give an ac­count of the ministry at our meeting, the elders being called to answer one after another in order, according to the settlement of the meetings they belonged to, a fear struck me lest a form of words was too much in general observed, particularly, "that the ministry was well received." When my turn came, I could not be easy without varying that part, and instead of saying, the ministry of the ministers is well received, I said, that I believed the ministry of the public friends was generally approved of, and added, that I did wish, that the ministry of all the ministring friends was better received than I conceived it was; whereupon I was asked, what I meant, and under the weight I felt on my mind, I replied, it was not from a thought of bear­ing hard on the service of the public friends; but from the difference between approving thereof, be­cause they believed it to be right, and attending no [Page 26] further, which would not do the work, but to put in practice what they heard recommended, was on­ly well receiving of it, and if that was really the case, our society would appear more beautiful than at present; thus the matter closed, and I had peace in the remark. I think this was the last meeting I attended as an elder; before the next quarterly meeting in the second month 1734, another was recommended in my place.

About this time as I sat in one of our own meet­ings, I felt a flow of affection to the people, for many not of our society came there, perhaps out of curi­osity, several young ministers having come forth in public testimony, in which extraordinary flow of af­fection, I had a very bright opening as I thought, and expected to stand up with it very soon, but be­ing willing to weigh it carefully was not very forward, viewing its decreasing brightness, until something said as it were within me, "is the woe in it," is necessity laid upon thee, 1 Cor. ix. 16. And there­fore woe if thou preach not the gospel. This put me to a stand, and made me feel after the living presence of him, in whose name and power I desired to speak, if I appeared in testimony; and not feeling the pure life and power of Truth, so as to stand up, the brightness of the Vision faded, and left me quiet, humble, and thankful for this preservation; the drawing strength and lusting desire of the un­stable, who centre not to the pure gift in them­selves, are as the many waters, or sea of Mystery Babylon, for her merchants to sail their ships and trade upon. This was a time of inward growing to me, the welfare of the churches was strongly de­sired, and the extendings of the love of the Hea­venly Father, I felt at times to reach over sea and land, to my great admiration; but however my heart was enlarged, I believed it was my duty to re­tire inward, and wait with patience until my friends [Page 27] should so approve of my ministry, as to recommend me as a minister, before I made any request to go much abroad, though I went to some neighbouring meetings, such as I could go to in a morning, and return home at night, but not without acquainting some elderly friends therewith, and desiring their company, which I generally had.

In the winter 1735-6, William Brown my brother in law, my sister Dinah Brown (then a widow,) and myself, were all recommended to the meeting of Ministers and Elders, as ministers, and at this meeting I let a certain friend know, that for some­time I had a desire to visit friends at Newtown, Mid­dletown, Goshen, Caln, and Bradford meetings, hop­ing that he would go with me, for without some suitable companion I was not easy to go, because it would be necessary, that notice should be given to answer the end of a visit, which he also thought necessary, and let me know that he would take the needful care, which I supposed was previously to inform some friends of each meeting, in order that they might acquaint their neighbours if they had freedom, and I was easy, not knowing but he would bear me company: On third day I was at the gene­ral meeting of worship held at Providence, and at the breaking up thereof, the friend whom I had spoken to, stood up and gave public notice, that I intended to sit with friends at the meetings aforesaid, and named the days in order, and requested friends would take proper care to give notice; at which I was exceedingly surprized, and repented that I had spoken thereof; I would have gladly ran home but for fear of bringing a reproach, and to me it seemed likely it would be the case if I pursued the tract laid out for me; in this strait I was humbled even to weeping; a sympathizing experienced friend came to me, and spake affectionately, bidding me not to be cast down, for it was heard with gladness, that [Page 28] it was in my heart to visit those meetings, and that if I lived, and did well, I must meet with greater trials. I suppose friends of those meetings knew more of me than I expected, for I had carefully at­tended meetings of discipline several years, and had been sometimes active therein; the meetings were generally pretty full, and I believe truth owned my service, which was to me great cause of thankful­ness. In this little journey friends were very kind to me, and I was afraid too free in manifesting of it; indeed there are many indulgent nurses, many for­ward instructors, but too few fathers in the church, who having been acquainted with him the great Al­pha in their tender beginning, and by dwelling in his holy counsel and fear, have the care of the members at heart, and in the Wisdom of Truth know how to instruct, advise, and conduct themselves towards such who are called to the Lord's work according to their several dispositions, growths, and gifts receiv­ed, in order that they might be preserved growing in and by him, the Alpha, experiencing him, their beginning, to be with them, and to be the Omega in their conclusion the First and the Last, all in all, the Lord God over all, Blessed in himself and the Son of his love, our holy high Priest and Instruc­tor. For want of proper caution herein, some have valued themselves above what they ought, and thereby reduced their credit with others.

In the summer following I felt a secret gentle draft to visit the meetings in the back parts of Ches­ter, Philadelphia and Bucks Counties, which con­tinuing with me, and my brother in law William Brown having the like concern, we acquainted friends at our monthly meeting, late in the fall of the year, and had their concurrence, and I believe their good wishes for us; so in the tenth month 1736, we proceeded, and went to Goshen, Radnor, and to a general meeting at Haverford, and to an [Page 29] evening meeting at a school-house in upper Merion, and over Schuylkill to Plymouth; we had good satisfaction mostly. I could see that my brother grew in his gift, and after one of the meetings a wellmeaning friend told me, that I was a seer, and knew the states of people better than they could inform me at which I felt some secret pleasure, yet not without (as I thought) a humble fear, knowing that flattery or unguarded commendation, if listned to, is a kind of poison to young ministers, and sometimes makes them swell beyond the proper size. At Plymouth, I had an open meeting, and it seemed to me, as if what I had to say was re­ceived freely by the people, and after meeting I was filled with joy to such a degree, that I wept, and dropped behind my company, (to keep undiscover­ed,) in our going to a friends house, inwardly pray­ed that it might be taken from me, for I feared, that by the natural part in me, it was taken to ex­cess. Next day we had a small meeting in Job Pugh's house, where I thought I saw the states of particulars very clear, and had something to say, which perhaps I delivered in too strong terms, con­sidering my age and experience in the ministry; a becoming fear, and modesty in expression is very ornamental and safe for ministers, both young and old; after meeting, we went home with Evan Evans to North Wales, who conversed but little with us, but was grave and solid, and therein a good ex­ample to me; for sometimes young ministers hurt themselves by too much talking, and draw from others of like freedom, things not convenient for them to hear. The next day we were at North­wales meeting, which was large, being first day, my brother W. B. appeared in the forepart and had good service, afterwards I stood up with a large and good opening as I thought, but found hard work and soon sat down again without much relief, [Page 30] which being a little unusual, I ventured to stand up again, and with a zeal that exceeded my childish knowledge, laid on some strokes with the strength of the mans part more than with the hum­bling power of Truth; for if we deliver hard things to the people, we should ever remember, that we are flesh and blood, and by nature subject to the same frailties; this would lead us closely to attend to the power, and to minister only in the ability of Truth, in the meekness, gentleness and wisdom which it inspires; I soon sat down again, and in a moment felt myself left in great darkness, and friends broke up the meeting in a minute or two af­ter, which I soon thought was rather unkind, as it seemed to shew a public dislike, when a private ad­monition, which I believed was my due, would have answered the end better; but when I knew they held an afternoon meeting, I judged that I had in­fringed on the time, and the weight of the trial settled still deeper on my mind; in the afternoon I sate silent, and was very much dejected, and my good friend Evan Evans, an experienced minister and father in the church, bid me be steady and in­ward, looking to the Lord who knew how to deal with his children, and gently correct, as well when they went too fast, as too slow; this fatherly ten­der hint fully opened my eyes; for before I was in some doubt wherein I had missed; I now believed he saw I was too zealous and forward, and believed also that he had the judgment of Truth; this was enough for me; I abhorred myself, and was in great fear that I should not be forgiven. Another friend told me that I only felt an opposing spirit in some, whose states had been remarkably spoken to by me, and desired me not to be too much cast down, for I had the mind of Truth; this instead of relieving, rather added to my affliction, for I saw it would have a tendency, if heeded, to take me from under [Page 31] the hand of the Lord, which was heavy upon me, and something in me said, "Let God be true and every man a lyar, keep to the witness in thine own heart, attend to the Spirit of Truth there, and mind its reproof:" Man through natural affection and sympathy may err, and administer false in­struction, but the other proceeds from the God of Truth. I would have given all that I had to have been at home, for I greatly feared that I should bring a reproach on the truth, the honour whereof was dear to me; I hid my distress as much as pos­sible, and proceeded to attend meetings with my brother, whom I greatly preferrred, and was afraid to discourage by my complaints.

We were at a meeting at Skippack, and at another at Perkioming or New-Providence, in each whereof I had so much light and understanding as to offer a few words, but the service lay chiefly on my bro­ther; from thence we went to Oley, where I had a few things to deliver in a friends house in an even­ing sitting with his family, which was large; the friend in great tenderness observed afterward, that revelation was not ceased, for their states were very exactly spoken to, at which I marvelled, for I was greatly reduced, and thought myself one of the poorest and most unqualified that ever travelled in that great service, in which we were now engaged; this dispensation though sorrowful to wade through, was very humbling and profitable for me, who per­haps but a little before was ready to think I knew something about preaching, but now knew nothing, that I might more fully understand that he who thinketh of himself "he knoweth any thing, kno­weth nothing as he ought to know," to wit, that all pure knowledge is sealed up in him who is the Fountain of Wisdom and Knowledge, to be only opened by himself to his dependant children, by the revelation of his own Spirit, when and to whom he pleases.

[Page 32]From hence we went to Maiden Creek, and to Richland in Bucks County, being still low in my mind, yet favoured for a few minutes in meetings, in which I had a few sentences, and then was closed up again: I was like one who having learned a few things, or rules in literal knowledge, was again turned back to his beginning.

From thence we went to Plumstead in Bucks County; here I was rather more enlarged, and to Buckingham, Wrightstown, Falls, Middletown, Bristol, and over on the ice to Burlington in New-Jersey, the weather being exceeding cold, and came back again on the ice over Delaware the same even­ing to Bristol, and thence proceded to Byberry and Horsham meetings, and by this time I was relieved from the depression of spirit I felt before, yet was under a humble reverent fear, not forgetting the meeting at North Wales; I was in some degree again admitted to behold the lifting up of the Heavenly Fathers countenance, which makes the solitary re­joice. From Horsham we went to a meeting ap­pointed at William Hallowell's, the company of the man who undertook to shew us the way not being agreeable, we perswaded him to return, and so were left not knowing the way to the house, which made me very thoughtful, lest we should miss our way, and friends would then be blamed for neglect of duty towards us; as I was thus pondering in my mind, a faith arose, that providence could direct, and that moment I beheld the track of a man who had crossed the road we were in, and felt a sudden turn of mind to follow the same, which made me quite easy; it brought us to a field, where we found the fence down on both sides, and led to the house where friends were gathered, and we were not dis­covered to be without a guide, for which I was thankful, believing it to be the secret direction of kind providence, and not barely chance. I relate [Page 33] this with a view to excite such who may meet with difficulties, to rely on him alone who can shew the way, and give faith to follow, but man must be hum­ble and quiet in mind, to understand the inward gentle sense that Truth favours with; this small ga­thering was owned in a good degree with the Di­vine presence.

From thence we passed to Abington and Frankfort meetings, and to Philadelphia; and after visiting of those meetings, we turned to Germantown, and so over Schuylkill to Merion meeting, where we met our worthy friend John Forthergill, who had great and good service therein, with whom my brother W. B. returned to Philadelphia to the quarterly meeting, which began next day, and while he was absent from me I attended Springfield and Newtown meetings, when he again came to me, we attended some other meetings until our quarterly meeting began, at which was our friend John Cadwalader from Horsham, who had good service; after which I returned home and was glad to sit with friends in our own meeting, wherein I did not see it was my place to say much, but by example to recommend silence.

Early this spring (1737▪) the Lord was pleased to try me with poverty and inward want, which brought me into great searchings of heart, and se­cret enquiry into the cause, but could not under­stand that I had wilfully disobeyed, neither stood convicted in my mind for doing amiss, but my po­verty and inward want increased, with distress and doubting to that degree, that I began to fear I had mistaken, and took error for truth, and in my own imagination formed a religion, and for the rebelli­on of my youth was suffered to go on until now; and all that ever I had done was brought into judg­ment and reduced to nothing, and the enemy en­deavoured to stir me up to impatience, and to per­suade [Page 34] me, that my transgressions would never be forgiven; many days of sorrow and nights of sore distress I passed through, and began to despair of ever beholding the Light of the Heavenly counte­nance lifted up towards me again.

Towards the last of the third month I went to Sadsbury, to settle a dispute about the bounds of land and having something to do near Samuel Nutt's Iron works on French creek, as I was going thither being alone and my inward sorrow and distress very great, I thought I would now endeavour to vent it, were it but in mournful groans, and draw­ing in my breath in order to vent it in a groan, my inward anguish seemed to burn like fire, and I was instantly staid from breaking forth, for I was per­suaded my passion of grief if given way unto, would go beyond bounds, to the tearing of my cloaths, if no further, my heart not being tender, I could not weep, which brought me to a more calm pause than I had known for some time, and therein was ready to say, can the good hand be still near to stay me, Oh! that I may have patience given, and resolu­tion strengthned to continue seeking, and if at last I should perish, that it may be at his footstool; for a small space I had some hope of beholding again him whom my soul once loved above all things; but in a few miles riding it began to look pleasant to me, to go into some remote place where I should not be known. When reflecting thus—what! aban­don mine acquaintance! violate my marriage cove­nant, and leave my nearest connections! I suddenly knew this prospect of pleasure was from the evil one, and something in me abhorred it as wicked, and as it were closed my eyes therefrom; so that evening I went to the house of a former intimate acquaintance to lodge, who received me kindly, and in the evening brought a book containing some astronomical problems, and began to converse very [Page 35] freely thereon, supposing it would be pleasant to me as aforetime; but I was heavy in my spirit and in­wardly thoughtful about something of another na­ture, and he soon perceiving his conversation on that subject was disagreeable, proposed my going to bed as fittest for a weary man, judging that to be my present ailment, I was glad of the offer and immediately accepted thereof. I saw now clearly, that when my mind was turned from delighting in that wherein our former friendship consisted, my company was rather unpleasant to him, I soon left his house in the morning, dispatched my business, and returned home with as much speed as I could, without the least inclination to go elsewhere; I believe my prayer was heard; for I had patience granted to me, I say granted, because no man can endue himself therewith, and I think my distress gradually abated after the time aforementioned.

When one has fasted, and suffered the want of natural food for a long season, men or prud­ence will portion out the food they give to such with care, that strength may be increased and the constitution preserved healthful and sound. The Lord, whose Love and Care to his children doth far exceed that of any natural parent to his off­spring, dealt with me in his tender mercy, giving at times by the gentle touches of his Love, to feel that he had not forsaken me, which in a few mi­nutes would be again withdrawn, but tho' of short continuance, was sufficient for me to own it was worth all my sorrowful longing for and hereby he was pleased to let me experimentally know the value of Heavenly Bread by the want or it having food and raiment I was now taught to be therewith con­tent; the renewing of heavenly favour, and the covering of the Holy Spirit, so as to be admitted to stand before him in humble reverence with graci­ous acceptance, was all my soul craved; I neither [Page 36] wanted this man's gift, nor the other man's popu­larity and eloquence, but to be in mercy admitted into the number of his family, and occupying mine own gift to his honour alone that gave it. When Peter was examined by his Lord whom he had de­nied through fear, "Lovest thou me more than these?" the third time answered; "Thou knowest all things, thou knowest that I love thee:" He did not answer the question in its full extent, viz. more than these with respect to the rest of the Disciples who had not denied their Lord and Master, as Peter had done, who was nevertheless looked upon with forgiving compassion, and therefore had need to love in proportion; perhaps his honest confession and appeal to his Master's knowledge might shorten his answer; his threefold charge of feeding the sheep and lambs of his Lord, was necessary to gain his diligent attention to the work of him whom he had three times denied; he to whom much is forgiven, loveth much if he is not ungrateful: No marvel that I met with this trial of my love and affection, who so often (not through fear, but the desire of indulg­ing my creaturely will, had denied, or neglected to follow my Lord and Master who had so early made me acquainted with his will, and who now had passed by mine offences, and called me to work in his vineyard; now I was made thankful for fa­vours which before had scarcely been owned as such; for to be preserved inwardly watchful, and quietly resigned, to wait upon the Lord, though we partake not of immediate consolation by the renew­ing of life, is a great blessing, for which we ought to be thankful, as we cannot stay our own minds, nor curb our thoughts; and I did believe that la­bour was healthful, created an appetite and sweetned the relish of rest and food in a spiritual as well as na­tural sense, and therefore I wanted not to eat the bread of idleness and live on the labour of others.

[Page 37]After this trial which continued most of the summer, I was much favoured with the incomes of Divine Love and Life, and in the winter following visited most of the meetings in Chester County, and some few in Philadelphia County, the weather was very cold being about the middle of the tenth month when I set out, and in my journey went to visit a worthy friend who was indisposed, and lodged at his house, and as we sat together in the evening, he asked me why I chose the winter season to visit my friends in, for many infirm folios could hardly attend meetings, and said he was sometimes ready to query, whether public friends do not take that time to serve their master, because they could do but little for themselves. I was thoughtful and low in my mind before, and had some reasoning whe­ther it had not been better that I had staid at home than ventured out on the service at that time of the year. Though I thought I had an engagement suffi­cient when I set out; this query of his made me more thoughtful, and added to my reasoning, but I soon recovered strength, and it came fresh in my mind to ask him whether friends could eat to supply and sustain their bodies in the summer, and partake also of spiritual food for their souls in that season, so as not to labour in the winter and care for the sustenance of their bodies, or assemble and attend meetings to worship and wait upon God for spiritual food for their souls? he acknowledged I had by this query satisfied him to the full, and said he was glad of my visit, and hoped his talking as he did would not discourage me, for I believe he saw it brought a damp over me at first, this answer I be­lieve was given to me for mine own help, and was encouragement to me through this journey, in which I had most of the time Joshua Johnson of Londongrove for a companion, who was very agreeable, and in my return home I felt great peace.

CHAP. II.

IN the Summer following I went with Robert Jor­dan to West-river yearly-meeting in Maryland, and we visited most of the meetings of friends in that province, and his company was profitably in­structive to me who was but young in the ministry; I think I knew him well, he had a good gift of the ministry, and was highly favoured in the living openings of Truth, but was often low in mind and very humble in spirit; one time as we were riding together, he lagged behind for several miles, I asked him why he rode so slow, he made no reply, whereupon I stopt until he came up, his counte­nance was solid, and looked as if he had been weep­ing, I asked what ailed him, after some time he told me, that he had been thinking of the great favours which man partook of, particularly in being placed over the beasts of the field, and how easily they were broke, and made subject to his will, what a small turn with the bridle would put them to the right hand or the left, and on a gentle motion would amend or slacken their pace, at the will or pleasure of the rider, and that man, the most noble and in­telligent creature, should so far neglect the duty of a willing subjection to his Maker, who so highly [Page 39] has favoured him with temporal blessings, and the knowledge of heavenly things. I had been at that meeting about three years before, having had some business to do for a friend of mine on the Eastern-shore of Chesopeak, and crossed over the Bay to the Western-shore, and was at the yearly-meeting, and being grieved at the conduct of some of the elders, whose age, if they had kept to the Truth and had been zealous for the honour thereof, would have made them better examples; I spoke my mind plainly to them, but not without proper caution (as I thought) both with respect to my youth and their age; but some seemed a little warmed thereby, and asked for my certificate, if I had any, I honest­ly told them, the principal business that brought me from home was temporal, which having accomo­dated, I thought I might attend that meeting with­out offence, if I did not misbehave myself. William Richardson desired friends to consider what I had said, for he believed if they did, they would per­ceive the young man had a certificate with him, that might answer for one of a neighbouring province to attend such a meeting.

It may not be unseasonable to relate that in the year 1736, one night as I lay in bed, my mind was uncommonly affected with the incomes of Divine Love and Life, and therein I had a view of the churches in New-Jersey, with a clear prospect that I should visit them, and in that prospect and the strength of affection which I then felt, I said in my heart it is enough; I will prepare for the journey as soon as I can hear of a suitable companion, for I do not expect that I shall have a clearer sight than I now have, I soon heard of a friend who had a visit to New-Jersey before him, I spoke to him about my concern, he let me know that he knew of a companion, and they had agreed upon a time to proceed; after I had mentioned it to him and some [Page 40] other friends my concern seemed to die away; but I remembered the resolution that I took up, and that I then thought I would not look to be bidden again, and was fearful something had drawn my mind from the proper attention to that opening, which was the reason it seemed to go off; but the more I strove to look after it, the duller it grew; I then sorely repented that I had spoken about it, and thought it should be a warning to me in future; for I began to see there was a difference between see­ing what was to be done, and being bidden to do the thing shewn, besides this, I had to consider there was a time to bud, a time to blossom, a time for fruit to set and appear, and a time for it to ripen.

And in the forepart of the winter (1738,) I thought it seemed to revive, and when I saw John Hunt a friend from England, I believed I should go with him when he went thro' New-Jersey, and told him what I thought, at which he rejoiced, for we were nearly united; so we appointed a time to meet at Philadelphia, and when we had so far concluded, being about six weeks beforehand, my concern, as I thought, soon withered away, and I began to be in great fear that I had been again too forward therein, but after some time of humbling exercise on that account, the Lord, whom I feared, from the Love with which he was pleased to enrich my heart, gave me to remember, that when I made the ap­pointment with my friend, it was in his fear and great abasement of self, and as I had seen clearly to make the appointment, it was my place to attend in humble reliance on him for ability to perform the embassy; for the Lord who calleth and sendeth forth his own, will also provide all things convenient for them.

When the time came, I set forward very poor and needy, which continued until we entered our [Page 41] service; we took a few meetings before our general spring meeting; and after attending that, we went to Woodberry, Piles-grove, Salem, Alloways-creek, Cohansie, and so to Cape-may, and had some close work, but in the main satisfactory to ourselves at least; after having several meetings at and near the Capes, we went to Great-Egg-harbour and had a meeting there, and another at the house of our friend Japhet Leeds, and so over the Marines to Little-Egg-harbour river, and had two meetings with friends, in one of which I stood up with a large opening as I thought, but after a short introduction, it closed up, and I sat down again, which was some mortification to me as a man, tho' very profitable, being thereby taught to know, that he that would speak as the oracle of God, must, under the gentle burden of the word, in humble fear wait for wis­dom, utterance, and ablility to perform the service to the edification of the church and his own inward Peace, and not to look after large and specious openings, sometimes desirable to the creaturely part both in ourselves and others, which must suffer famine.

At one of the meetings in these parts, coming very early, a friend belonging thereto invited us to go to his house not far off, and he would put up our horses to hay during the time of the meeting, saying that we must go to his house to dine; but I felt a stop in my mind, and told him that our horses could stand very well there until after meet­ing; it so fell out that neither of us said any thing in the meeting, which nevertheless was to us satis­factory, for we had a sense that the people had been fed with words, and had a hunger thereafter, more than for the instruction of the pure word of Power and Life nigh in the heart and mouth, that they might not only hear it but be found doers thereof: after the meeting no one asked us to dine, but went [Page 42] away and left us, and had it not been for the care of our kind guide that came from the meeting we were last at, we should have been at a loss to have got forward; I mention this to shew how unacceptable silence is to such whose ears itch after words.

From hence we went thro' the desert to upper Springfield, where we had a satisfactory meeting, then taking the meetings Northward to Stony­brook and Trenton, we returned to Bordentown, and so crossed Delaware. Some of the meet­ings were large and very satisfactory under the owning of truth, the power whereof was in domi­nion, and the name of the Lord praised, who is worthy forever; and some were remarkably close and hard, which made me remember a saying of that experienced minister and elder John Fothergill, that, "When he was first in this country, he had some extraordinary meetings hereaway, the people being industrious in a natural as well as spiritual sense, some of whom were now removed, and their children possessed the temporal estates of their fa­thers, and though their outward habitations looked spacious their meetings for worship were dull and heavy, by reason of a wordly spririt, and their in­difference about heavenly treasure." One meeting which we were at was remarkably hard; my com­panion J. H. was exceedingly exercised, under a sense that the people were too rich, full, and whole in their own eyes, he sat the meeting through and suffered in silence, but I had something to say very close and particular, and felt a degree of the strength and power of Truth to clear myself in an innocent and loving manner, and remembering they were brethren, did not preach myself out of charity towards them, and so had peace. We went home with an elderly friend, who in a stern manner asked me from whence I came, and said I was a stranger to him, I answered him with a cheerful boldness; [Page 43] he asked me what my calling was, I told him hus­bandry, he farther queried if I was used to splitting of wood, I let him know I had practised it for ma­ny years, he again asked me, if I knew the mean­ing of a common saying of those who were used to that business, "Tis soft knocks must enter hard blocks;" I told him I knew it well, but there were some old wood that was rather decayed at heart, and to strike with a soft or gentle blow at a wedge in such blocks, would drive it to the head without renting them and the labour would be lost, when a few smart lively strokes would burst them asun­der; whereupon he laid his hand on my shoulder, saying, "Well my lad, I perceive thou art born for a warrior, and I commend thee;" And thus we came off better than we expected, for I thought he pointed at my service that day; he was ever after­ward very loving to me, and I was inwardly thank­ful that the Lord was near to me, for which I praise his sacred name. To be becomingly bold in the cause of Truth, at times is particularly necessary, otherwise the weight of the testimony thereof would be lessened, and a carping spirit set over it.

From Bordentown we went to Plumstead in Bucks-county, and on a first day had a pretty good meet­ing, and to a monthly-meeting at Buckingham, then to Wrightstown, the Falls, and Middletown, which meetings were in a good degree satisfactory, the reaches of the Power of Truth being felt to ex­tend, for which we were thankful; tho' in some of them, there is too great a want of faithful mem­bers to put the discipline in practice against those that were disorderly, and thereby brought a re­proach on the Truth; we then went to Philadel­phia, and next day to Chester, from whence I went home the same day.

In the fall of the year 1740, I had some draw­ings in my mind to attend the quarterly-meeting at [Page 44] Shrewsbury, and was at several meetings on my way thither, at one of which a friend appeared, who I thought had good service in the forepart of his testimony, but as truth did not rise into domi­nion so high as he expected, perhaps in too much zeal and creaturely warmth, he laid on a little too fast, and continued until the life rather abated, and some tender minds hurt; for it often happens that such to whom hard things belong, will put them off, and those who are more tender and least deserving of such doctrine, will take it to them­selves to their own hurt. Oh! how careful minis­ters ought to be whilst they are in their service, that they may be favoured with an inward feeling sense of the states to which they minister, and be influenced with Wisdom from above to divide the word aright, in meekness, gentleness, and holy fear, then truth will have its own weight, authori­ty and power. After the friend sat down, it be­came the concern of another in a few words, as it were to number the slain, and search for the wound­ed, and set close and hard things where they be­longed, by describing their several dispositions in choosing and refusing to take hard things. After­wards being in company with the friend above hinted, and he being down in his mind and per­haps not fully knowing the cause, asked me what I thought of the meeting, to which I was not for­ward to answer; he said, tell me what I have done this day? whereupon I asked him privately and in a pleasant manner, what Gideon did to the men of Succoth? Jud. viii. 16. at which he was greatly humbled, fully understanding what I meant, and did not in the least resent the hint; which I thought was truly great in him, and very becoming a mi­nister; for if we would instruct others, we should be exemplary in taking instruction ourselves when necessary.

[Page 45]On my way falling in company with Robert Jor­dan, we had a freedom to propose a meeting to the Anabaptists at Middletown, to which they readily consented, and we had a profitable opportunity with them in their meeting house, and on the same evening a meeting at the house of Hugh Hartshorne, to which several baptists came; this was a time of favour, and I hope of service, it was concluded by R. J. in solemn prayer and thanksgiving to the Lord, who is worthy forever and ever. Just as the meeting broke up, I felt myself poor and inwardly weak, to as great a degree as ever I had done, and looking towards my said friend I saw he was in the same condition, for it seem'd as if we had hardly strength to stand; but a query of our dear Lord's came suddenly into my mind and ministered relief viz. Who hath touched me? Whereupon leaning toward my companion, I repeated it to him, being my belief that it was as much for his help as my own. He understood the meaning instantly with­out further explanation, and was thereby also re­lieved. Perhaps some who may hereafter peruse these lines, may think this is too bold for a mortal man to mention; but having by a degree of expe­rience known, that when the healing virtue of Truth from the holy Physician of Souls, has flowed through an humble servant, to the relief of some of the infirm and poor amongst the people, who have followed physicians of no value, and spent all their living thereby, and no cure wrought, not­withstanding virtue has gone through them as in­struments or conduits, they have felt inwardly weak for a time, that in humble abasement of soul they might be taught to acknowledge, that the King­dom, Power, and Glory doth belong to him alone, who is God over all blessed forever and ever.

From thence we went to William Hartshorne's at at Sandy-hook, and so to the quarterly-meeting at [Page 46] Shrewsbury, which was large in the several sittings, in which was felt the power of Truth in a good de­gree; but many loose and rude people of the neigh­bourhood and parts adjacent coming together at such times to drink, carouse, and ride races, are very hurt­ful to each other and disturbing to friends. Then going homeward I had several meetings on the way, and enjoyed great inward peace, and could there­fore rejoice and ascribe the praise to the Lord, who had called and enabled me to perform this service.

Having a concern on my mind to visit the meetings of friends on the Eastern shore in Maryland, I laid it before our monthly-meeting and obtained a cer­tificate in the tenth month; my brother in law James Brown bearing me company; and we were at Cae­cil monthly-meeting held at Chester in the eleventh month, before meeting a friend informed me that he thought it would be best for me to cross Chester river, and go directly Southward; I told him it might be so, but I could say little to it at present; but some friends consulting about it, and one being there who lived near the meeting house in Queen Anns county, they thought he could give notice on first day to several meetings; so a friend ventured to speak publicly thereof at the close of the meeting for worship, without letting me know what he intended to do. I had been uncommonly distressed as I sat in the meeting, from an appre­hension that but few of the friends belonging to that particular meeting were there, and when he published where it was proposed I should be the ensuing week, I felt my mind opened and turned another way, and stood up and told friends, that I did believe they thought it most for my ease to lay out the meetings after that manner, but if friends at that particular meeting would favour me so far as to meet there next day, I should be glad to sit with them, provided they would please to let other [Page 47] friends and neighbours who were absent know of it; for if I had a right sense, there were several members not present, and I should be willing to be at Caecil meeting on first day, and Sassafrass on se­cond day, which was directly back, and therefore told them it seemed easiest to my mind, tho' it would occasion more riding, this being agreed to, we had a much larger meeting next day, for many before were absent as I had thought, and I had a full opportunity to discharge myself toward the luke­warm and indifferent, and disorderly walkers, and had peace; I visited several families on seventh day to good satisfaction, and was at Caecil meeting on first day, and the next day at Sassafrass, and had to believe it was by the secret direction of the good shepherd, who never faileth his dependant children, that I was turned this way; for he was pleased to own my service in these meetings by his presence in a good degree to the praise of his own name, which is worthy forever: From thence we passed over the Head of Chester by the bridge, John Browning, a friend from Sassafrass, going with us as a guide, who some time before had been convinced of the blessed Truth, by the inward operation of the Holy Spirit without any instrumental means; he had been a member of the church of England so called, and for his sobriety was chosen a Vestry­man; but after a time felt a scruple in his mind about taking off his hat, when he entered the Church-yard so called, fearing it was a superstitious adoration of the ground, from its supposed holiness; but would take it off when he entered the worship house, and walk uncovered to his pew; but after a time could not uncover his head, till what they call Divine Service began; which as he kept in­wardly attentive to the scruple in his mind, became very lifeless to him, who was inwardly seeking for substance and life; and therefore withdrew there­from; [Page 48] and after some time went to one of our meet­ings, rather out of curiosity than expecting any good, but felt himself owned, and had a taste of the peace which the world cannot give, and from that time became a constant attender of our meetings.

We had a meeting at Queen Ann's amongst a peo­ple who for want of keeping to the life of Religion, had almost lost the form: In conversation at a cer­tain house in the evening, I asked a friend, whether she was a friend's child or one convinced of our principles, her reply was, that when she was young, she lived at a friend's house, and took a notion of going to meeting with them, which she had done ever since; Alass! when notion changes the will, and not that faith which works by love to the purifying of the heart, the religion is without reformation, empty and dead. From thence we went to Tuckaho meeting, and the weather being very cold and ri­vers frozen up, several masters of vessels and sailors came there and divers others people of fashion with gay cloathing; in the fore part of the meet­ing there was an appearance made which grieved me, for my heart yearned towards the people; the words that he began with were "Wo, wo, to the crown of pride and drunkards of Ephraim;" and with very little application sat down; it appeared to me as if the appearance of gaiety had fired the creaturely zeal, which was the chief motion to this short sermon, this with the cold wind blowing in at the door, much unsettled the meeting, it being at the time when that remarkable snow fell which laid so long in deep drifts this winter; whereupon I de­sired the door might be shut, which being done, the house became more comfortable, and the meet­ing settled, and I stood up with an heart filled with affection, having that passage of scripture before me, in which the apostle Peter declared the univer­sality of the Love of God, "I perceive of a Truth that God is no respecter of persons, &c." and was [Page 49] much enlarged thereon to my own admiration, and I believe satisfaction of the people; the meeting ended sweetly with thanksgiving and prayer to the Lord for the continuance of his mercy who is the alone author of all good, and worthy of adoration and worship forever. After which we attended the several neighbouring meetings, through very severe cold weather, and the houses being very open and unprovided with the means of keeping them warm, of which there is too manifest a neglect in those parts, they were uncomfortable and unsettled; in this jour­ney my companion appeared in a few words in seve­ral families and meetings; we reached home just be­fore our quarterly-meeting in the twelfth month.

In this journey, travelling in Talbot county, an elderly man asked us if we saw some posts standing, pointing to them and added, the first meeting George Fox had on this side of Chesopeak Bay, was held in a tobacco house there which was then new; the posts that were standing were made of walnut, at which John Browning above mentioned rode to them, and sat on his horse very still and quiet; then returning to us again with more speed than he went, I asked him what he saw amongst those old posts, he answered, ‘I would not have missed of what I saw for five pounds, for I saw the root and grounds of Idolatry; before I went I thought perhaps I might have felt some secret virtue in the place where George Fox had stood and preached, whom I believe to have been a good man; but whilst I stood there, I was secretly in­formed, that if George was a good man, he was in Heaven and not there, and virtue is not to be communicated by dead things, whether posts, earth, or curious pictures, but by the power of God who is the fountain of living virtue.’ A lesson, which if rightly learned, would wean from the worship of images and adoration of relicts.

[Page 50]I was not many miles from home this summer, save to attend our own quarterly and yearly-meet­ings; but in the fall having some drawings in my mind to visit friends in the New-settlement in Virginia, I went with a committee of the quar­terly-meeting, appointed to inspect whether friends at Fairfax were in number and weight sufficient to have a meeting settled amongst them to the reputation of truth, and we visited all the fami­lies of friends there, and had a meeting among them to satisfaction; from thence we went to a place called Providence or Tuskarora, from whence Mordecai Yarnal who was one of the number went home, having heard that his wife was dead or likely to die; we had a meeting with the friends there, who were glad to see us, and then went to Hope­well monthly-meeting to some satisfaction; from whence I went to a few families settled up Sha­nondoa above the Three-top't Mountain so called, and had a meeting amongst them, they were pret­ty much tendered and received the visit kindly, especially such who did not make profession of the truth with us; I admired how they had notice, for many came to it, and some ten miles or more: I believe that the delight in hunting and a roving idle life drew most of them under our name to settle there, so having discharged myself in a plain yet loving manner, I returned to Robert M'Coy jun's, and having had several other meetings thereaway, I went home with peace of mind and thankfulness of heart to him who alone enables his children to answer his requirings, having rode in this journey above four hundred miles.

This winter John Cadwalader and Zebulon Hes­ton, in their return from a religious visit to friends in Maryland, Virginia, and Carolina, were at my house, and being desirous to visit some meetings on the Eastern-shore of Maryland, I went with them [Page 51] to Sassafrass-meeting, and called to see the widow and children of John Browning who had been dead about a month, and she gave me in substance the following account of him, viz.

‘My husband was not long sick, but said, that he believed he should not recover, and charged me to endeavour that his children should be brought up in the way of Truth which friends profess; and if they incline to have trades, to put them apprentice to real friends, not barely nominal ones, (which she said, she was willing to do, tho' she had never yet joined to friends) and desired she would not trust her own judg­ment, and named some friends with whom she should advise in choosing matters; then said, when I am dead, bury me by my father and mo­ther in the grave-yard belonging to our family, and thou knowest that I put a large grave-stone at my father's grave, and there is one ready for my mother's grave, which I did not put there, because I began to think, they were more for grandeur than service; I sent for them from Eng­land, (not at the request of my father) they are mine, and now I have a full testimony against such formal tokens of respect; therefore when I am buried, before the company leaves the grave, inform them what my will is, and desire their help to take the grave-stone from my father's grave, and carry it out of the yard, that it may be brought home, and lay one in one hearth, and the other in the other hearth of this new-house, and they will be of real service there; ^* which she promised him to observe, and told me she had complyed therewith; he remained sensi­ble to near the last, and departed in a quiet re­signed frame of mind.’

[Page 52]How weak are the arguments of such who make profession with us, and plead for those grand marks of memorial or other tokens of distinction set up at or on the graves of their deceased relations, and how soon would they subside, did they but live so near the pure truth as to feel the mind thereof, as I fully believe this our friend did, knowing that the name of the righteous will not perish, but be had in everlasting remembrance, because their portion is life for evermore, having entered into that King­dom prepared for the blessed before the foundation of the world.

This spring of the year 1742, I felt strong draw­ings of mind to visit friends in New-England, hav­ing had some view thereof several years before; and having obtained a certificate, I set forward in the third month, and after visiting several meetings in New-Jersey, and one in New-York, I attended the yearly-meeting on Long Island, wherein the power of truth was felt, and a great openness to those of other societies, many of whom were pre­sent, particularly the last day, and two priests who be haved solidly.

I then went with Samuel Hopwood (a ministring friend from England, with whom I had traveled in this journey through part of New-Jersey) to Ryewood, and had a meeting there, where were a few solid friends, but others too talkative; and be­ing at Old-Seabrook had a meeting in an inn, on the first day of the week, the people being chiefly Presbyterians, few attended besides ourselves, and those of the family who were kind and civil to us; then going to Conanicut we had a meeting with friends on that Island, and proceeded to Newport on Rhode-island, and on the fifth day of the week attended the meeting at Portsmouth, where we met with Lydia Dean from Pennsylvania, who was on a religious visit to friends in New-England, and [Page 53] many other friends coming to be at the yearly-meet­ing on this Island; it began on the sixth day of the week with a meeting of ministers and elders, and two meetings for public worship, one in the fore­noon and the other in the afternoon, and were held in the same order until the second day of the next week, when the meeting for discipline began; this large yearly meeting in the several settings thereof was generally solid and satisfactory; after which tak­ing divers meetings in our way, namely, Ports­mouth, Tiverton, Seconet, Accoakeset, and Aponi­gangset, and attending their monthly-meeting there, all which were in a good degree satisfactory, S. Hopwood and myself embarked for Nantucket, and through the mercy of kind providence arrived safe there, after a passage of three days and two nights, occasioned by scant winds, and an Easterly storm which tore our sails very much, being old and rot­ten, so that if some watchful friends on the Island had not seen us in distress, and come with three whale boats, and took all the passengers being twen­ty four of us from the vessel, we should have been in great danger; for being near a sand bar, the ves­sel struck ground soon after we left her, and by the violence of the wind was driven on shore: We looked on this deliverance as a mercy from God, to whom several of us were bowed in humble thankfulness for this particular favour: On the twenty-second day of the fourth month the yearly-meeting began, which though small on this day by reason of the storm, was comfortable, the other sittings were mostly large and in a good degree own­ned by the power and virtue of Truth.

My friend S. Hopwood apprehending himself clear, inclined to return to the Main-land, but no passage offered; and notwithstanding the meetings had been generally attended by most of the Inha­bitants of the Island, and large, yet I was not easy [Page 54] without endeavouring to have some opportunities with friends by themselves, as much as could be, which I obtained, besides attending their usual week day meeting and in these sittings, it pleased the Lord to open my way to deliver several things which had lain heavy on my mind; for although some solid tender spirited friends lived on this Island, yet I saw there was a libertine spirit secretly at work amongst some others, to draw away from the pure inward life of religion and the simplicity of Truth, into ease and liberty; after which I had great peace, and my mind was made thankful to the Lord, who had owned my labour by a good degree of his pre­sence and power.

Being now fully clear and a passage offering, on the second of the fifth month we took leave of our friends, and landed the same day in the evening at Seconnet, and on seventh day S. Hopwood and I went to the quarterly-meeting at Sandwich, and were at their first day meeting also, after which, I went back to Seconnet, and had a meeting at Benjamin Boreman's; then returned to Sandwich where I again met S. Hopwood, and on third day we had a meeting at Yarmouth, and returning to Humphrey Wady's, we from thence went towards Boston, taking a meeting with friends at Pembrook, reached that town on sixth day, and attended their morning and afternoon meetings on first day, also one at a friends house in the evening. I have here little to remark, save that religion seems to be at a low ebb From Boston I went to Lynn, but S. Hopwood returned towards Rhode-island; I had a meeting at Lynn, also at Salem, Newberry and Dover, being the monthly-meeting; the next day at Cachechy, and in the afternoon again at Dover at the burial of Mary Whitehouse who was ninety five years of age; and on second day morning, I was secretly drawn to have a meeting over the [Page 55] river on the Kittery shore among friends, which was satisfactory to myself and them, there being a ten­der people there: On third day morning as I lay in bed, I felt my mind drawn towards the North-west, which was an exercise to me, for I had before thought myself at liberty to return towards Boston; I arose about sun rise, and asked the friend where I lodged, whether any friends lived at a distance on that quarter, for that I had a draft that way, he answered no, and asked how far I thought to go, I told him it did not seem to me to be more than ten miles; he said there was a people about eight miles distant, which he supposed was the place to which I felt the draft; I desired him to send a lad with a few lines to some person that he knew, to inform them that a stranger would be glad to have a meeting among them at the eleventh hour of that day, if they were free to grant it, which he did and with his wife went with me; so that we got to the place near the time proposed, and found a considerable gathering of people, that I wondred how it could be in so short a time, not more than three hours warning; they were preparing seats by laying boards on blocks in a pretty in large new house, and soon sat down in an orderly manner; I went in great fear and inward weakness, and at the sight of such a gathering of people, and none of our profession among them except the friend and his wife who accompanied me, and two others who joined us on the way, my spirit was greatly bowed, and my heart filled with secret cries to the Lord, that he would be pleased to magnify his own power, and blessed for ever be his holy name! he heard my cry, and furnished with wisdom and strength to declare his word to the people, among whom there were some very tender seekers after the true know­ledge of God; and the doctrine of Truth flowed freely towards them, the universality of the love of [Page 56] God being set forth in opposition to the common predestinarian notion of election and reprobation; when the meeting was over I felt an uncommon freedom to leave them, for they began to shew their satisfaction with the opportunity in many words, so speaking to the friend who went with me, we withdrew and went to our horses, and I immedi­ately mounting, beheld the man of the house where the meeting was held running to me, who taking hold of the bridle, told me I must not go away with­out dining with them; I look'd steadfastly on him; and told him, that I did believe this was a visitation for their good, but I was fearful that they, by talk­ing too freely and too much, would be in danger of losing the benefit thereof, and miss of the good that the Lord intended for them, and my going away was in order to example them to go home to their own houses, and turn inward, and retire to that of God in their own hearts, which was the only way to grow in religion; so I left him, and returned with my friend Joseph Eastees and his wife. Next day I was again at Cachechy meeting where Lydia Dean and her companion Eliphal Har­per met me, it was a good meeting; from thence we went to Dover and had a meeting, and another the same evening at the house of John Kenny, and being clear in my mind of those parts, I returned, having meetings at Hampton, Salisbury, Aimsbury, and Haverhill, at which last place, several persons were assembled with us who had never heared the preaching of any friend before; there was great openness among them, and we had a good meeting together, for which I was thankful to the holy au­thor of all good. Next day I again met with Lydia Dean and E. Harper, at Stephen Sawyer's near Newberry where we had a meeting, at which I was concerned to speak in a brief manner of the begin­ning of the reformation from the errors of the [Page 57] church of Rome, and the sufferings of the Protest­ants particularly in England, some of whose suc­cessors turned persecutors, and were very cruel to those whom they called Sectarians; amongst whom the Presbyterians having suffered persecution, in or­der to be eased therefrom, came into America and settled in New-England, expecting there to enjoy that reasonable right, the liberty of their consci­ence; and in this their ease, forgetting the golden rule of doing to others as they would be done unto, became, to their lasting Ignominy, persecutors of the Quakers so called, even to the death of several of them; and I had to speak of the nature and ground of persecution, and the great inconsistency thereof with christianity: Several of the Presbyterians were present, and an ancient man from Newberry, one of their leaders and an elder among them, when the meeting was over, desired he might speak with me, I being withdrawn into a little parlour, friend Sawyer came and informed me, that the old man wanted to be admitted to me, to which I felt no objection, being quiet and easy in my mind, tho' I expected he would be for disputing; when he came in, he let me know that he had some obser­vations to make to me; viz. ‘he supposed I was a man that had read much, or I could not be so fully acquainted with the reformation, and that he also supposed I had a College education;’ as to the last, I told him that I never had been at a school but about three months, and the man I went to being a weaver, sat in his loom and heard his scholars read; that I was so far from having a po­pular education, that I was born in a wilderness place, where a few families had settled many miles remote from other inhabitants; at which, lifting up his hands, he blessed himself and added, "Heaven has then anointed you to preach the Gospel, and you have this day preached the truth; but I can [Page 58] assure you, tho' I have been a Parish officer, I never did take any thing from your friends the Quakers, for I am against persecution; so God bless you with a good journey."

The next day I had a meeting at Ipswich in the house of Benjamin Hoeg, none professing with us living in that town but himself and family; tho' there was a friendly man, who, as I came late to the town the evening before, invited me to lodge at his house, of which I accepted, and being weary slept well; in the morning I heard a noise of high words in the street, and getting up I opened the door of the parlour where I lodged, and through a passage into the kitchen, saw a woman whom I took to be the mistress of the house, and went toward her; but with a look of exceeding displea­sure she immediately shut the door, so I turned into my room again; after a while the landlord came to me, and told me that he had been with the Burgess, who had given leave that a meeting might be held in the Town-hall; but the priest and his two sons had since been with the Burgess and forbad him, and that rather than displease them, he had withdrawn the leave; the priest asserted that the Quakers were heretics, and had gone about the town to forewarn his hearers against going to the meeting, which was the meaning of the noise I had heard in the street; I felt very easy, and desired that he would not trouble himself any further than to inform them, that the meeting would be held at the house of B. Hoeg; for I did believe that the railing of the priest would raise the curiosity of the people the more to come, and so it proved: I asked him to shew me the way to the house, that I might be assistant in making provision for seats if occasion required, he said I must take breakfast with him, which was soon brought in by the woman who had shut the door as before mentioned: I asked him [Page 59] if she was his wife, he told me she was, on which I arose from my seat and offered her my hand, asking her how she did, but she in displeasure refused, and saying not a word, directly left the room; after breakfast we went to the house where the meeting was to be held, and there soon came a great number of people, and the priest also very near the door, where he stood cautioning his hear­ers; but several came by an alley to the back door, and others seemed little to regard him, that after a time he went away, and through the goodness of the Lord we had a solid profitable meeting; for I believe many were there whose hearts were reached and tendered by the love and power of the Gospel of Christ, and among them I saw my scornful land­lady; it seems, a woman whom she valued had per­suaded her to come with her; before the meeting ended, I perceived her countenance was changed and her stout heart tendered, and after it she came to me with her husband, and kindly invited me to dine with them; I owned their love, and desired them to mind the Truth by which they had been reached; so in humble thankfulness of heart to the great Author of all living mercies, I left them, and went that night to Salem; and tarrying one meeting the next day, passed on to Marblehead and had a meeting in the Town-hall, the magistrates readily granting it, which was large. I had to speak on morality, the nature and necessity thereof, shewing that a man could not be a true Christian without being a good moralist; I thought they had need of a reformation in their morals, tho' they professed christianity in a high manner; one thing is worthy of remarking, the select men and officers were very careful to keep the rude boys and people that came to the door from making disturbance, several of them walked to the door and spoke to them, and rapped some on their heads with their canes to [Page 60] make them still; the meeting ended to satisfaction without the least opposition; from thence, taking a meeting at Lynn by the way, I went to Boston, and was at their meetings on first day in the forenoon and afternoon, at both which, several came that were not in profession with us, and truth opened the doctrine thereof to the people pretty freely; but I was not easy to leave this town without having on opportu­nity with friends by themselves, for which purpose it was held at Benja. Bagnall's, and therein I was deeply bowed under a sense of the state of ease in which some were delighting themselves in their imaginary attainments, whilst the pure seed lay un­der suffering; but blessed be the Lord, who was graciously pleased to endue with a spirit of Love and tender compassion, and thereby enabled me to discharge myself fully, and I was released from what had lain very heavy upon me for several days; the next day I had an opportunity with several friends at Samuel Pope's, and then left Boston pret­ty easy in my mind, and went to Samuel Thayres at Mendam, who accompanied me the next day to Uxbridge, where we had a meeting with a few raw, talkative people, which, through the goodness of God, was nevertheless to some degree of satisfacti­on; I returned with Sam. Thayre to his house, where I met with Hannah Jenkinson from Pennsylvania, and we were at Mendam meeting together; she then went towards Boston, and I to Wainsokett, and Providencetown, and had a meeting at each place, the latter of which was a poor meeting, the people looking for words and not waiting for the word of life in their own hearts; from thence I went to and had a large and good meeting at Nes­hanticut, the Lord's presence being felt to his own praise, and another at Greenwich; then proceeded to Smithfield and Taunton, taking a meeting at each to some good degree of satisfaction; from [Page 61] thence to Swanzey, Freetown, Rochester, and Cushnet, having a meeting at each, at one of which, after I stood up to speak a few words in great fear, life being low and as I apprehended the seed under suffering, I heard a kind of sighing by one in the gallery, which seemed to bring death rather than to raise life, and after I had spoken a sentence or two, it became exceedingly burthensome; where­upon it came fresh in my mind to say; "can an Israelite sing a true Hebrew song whilst the seed is in captivity and under suffering? an attempt of the kind shews ignorance." At which there was a great silence and the sighing ended, and I receiv­ed strength to deliver what was on mind, and truth was felt in a good degree to arise; the meeting end­ed well, and several friends expressed their satis­faction with the service on that day. Being clear of those parts I went to Rhode-island, and in a sense of the goodness and mercy of the Lord who had helped me in my travels in his work, my soul wor­shipped before him.

On the twenty-second of the sixth month I sat with friends at Newport in their fore and afternoon meetings, and next morning left Rhode-island with a heavy heart and had a meeting at South Kingston, where I met with Susanna Morris and her sister Hannah Hurford, and the same day had a meeting at James Parry's, and the day following we had one at Thomas Stanton's in Westerly, among a mixed people of several societies, to whom I felt a stream of gospel love; but the meeting was hurt by several appearances of one present who lived at no great distance. Our manner of sitting in silence is so very different from the common practice of most other religious societies, that it is no marvel if it should be as time mispent to some, and fill others with wonder, which was the case this day; and for want of a deep inward attention to the living word [Page 62] of Truth, instead of instructing the people in the true way of worship in the love of the Gospel, there may be a warm censuring of them for what they understand not, and thereby raise a dislike in them, to the foreclosing of other service; and I have some­times observed hurt done by this means, by some who appeared in the impatience, not having the weight of the work upon them; custom had taught the people to look for words, and they were offend­ed by words spoken not in season, and therefore not fitly spoken; I left this meeting with sorrow, and after I mounted my horse, the person who had appeared there three times, came to me, and said "he hoped he had not hindered my service in it;" I reminded him, that he had informed the people in that meeting, their looking for words had been one reason, why the Lord had shut up the testimo­ny of Truth in the hearts of his servants, which I told him I did believe was not then the case; but that his forward appearances had mudded the wa­ters, unsettled the people, and marred the service, so we parted; and feeling my mind drawn back towards Newport, I went that evening to James Congdon's, and the next day to Newport, calling in my way at James Parry's, where I found Lydia Dean very sick, she being so far on her journey towards home, and on the fifth day of the week I was at two satisfactory meetings there, and on seventh day had a small meeting at Nicholas Eas­ton's, and on first day two large good meetings at Newport, and next day hearing that Lydia Dean was come to Samuel Clark's on Conanicut Island, I went with several others to see her, and she re­turned with us to Newport, where after a very short notice we had a large evening meeting, wherein the Lord was pleased mercifully to favour us with his immediate presence to the glory and praise of his own eternal name which is worthy for ever! [Page 63] After attending their monthly-meeting at Ports­mouth, finding my mind clear and easy to proceed homeward, Lydia Dean, Patience Barker, John Easton, and myself set out from Newport, taking leave of friends in a tender manner on both sides, and were the first day following at a meeting in Westerly, which was in a good degree satisfactory, and passing through Connecticut to New-Milford, Oblong, and Nine-partners, had meetings in each place; and having a great desire to be at our yearly-meeting for Pennsylvania and New-Jersey, to be held at Burlington, which was near approaching, we passed on, and took a meeting at Samuel Field's, to which several not of our society came, and the opportunity was through the goodness of the Lord profitable; we then proceeded as fast as convenient, and reached Burlington on first day in the time of the yearly-meeting, where many friends were ga­thered, and Michael Lightfoot in his return from Great Britain, with whom came John Haslam, and Edmund Peckover on a visit to friends in America; this meeting was large and solid, at which I also met my dear wife to our mutual, thankful rejoice­ing; after the meeting I went home, where I found things as to the outward in good order, for which I was humbly thankful to the Lord, who had not only been with me by his heavenly presence in this journey, and brought me safe home to my family, but had supported them in my absence; blessed be his holy name for ever!

CHAP. III.

IN the Spring of the Year 1743, having draw­ings in my mind to make a general visit to Friends on Long-Island, I sat out in the third month, in order to be at the Yearly-meeting at Flushing, which began on the sixth day of the week, and continued until the second of the week following; it was large and signally owned by the power of Truth in each sitting; the publick service in the mini­stry lay mostly on Edmund Peckover, who was there in his way to New-England; on first day I thought I had an engagement to stand up, and considerable matter before me, and after speaking three or four sentences which came with weight, all closed up, and I stood still and silent for several minutes, and saw nothing more, not one word to speak; I per­ceived the eyes of most of the people were upon me, they, as well as myself expecting more; but nothing further appearing, I sat down, I think I may say in reverent fear and humble resignation, when that remarkable sentence of Job, chap. i. 21. was presented to my mind, Naked came I out of my mothers womb, and naked shall I return; the Lord [Page 65] gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord, and for, I suppose, near a quar­ter of an hour I remained in a silent quiet; but af­terwards let in great reasonings and fear lest I had not waited the right time to stand up, and so was suffered to fall into reproach; for the adversary who is ever busy, and unwearied in his attempts to de­vour, persuaded me to believe that the pleople would laugh me to scorn, and I might as well return home immediately and privately, as attempt any further visit on the Island; after meeting I hid my inward exercise and distress as much as I could, when night came I lodged with a sympathizing friend and ex­perienced elder, who began to speak encouragingly to me, but I said to him, that I hoped he would not take it amiss if I desired him to forbear saying any thing; for if he should say good things, I had no capacity to believe, and if otherwise, I could not then understand so as to be profitably corrected or instructed, and after some time fell asleep; when I awoke, I remembred that the sentences I had de­livered in the meeting, were self evident truths, which could not be wrested to the disadvantage of friends, or dishonour of the cause of Truth, tho' they might look like roots or something to para­phrase upon, and altho' my standing some time silent before I sat down might occasion the people to think me a silly fellow, yet they had not cause to blame me for delivering words without sense or life; thus I became very quiet, and not much depressed, and was favoured with an humble resignation of mind, and a desire that the Lord would be pleased to magnify his own name and truth, and preserve me from bringing any reproach thereon; so I ven­tured to have meetings appointed, and my particu­lar friend and intimate acquaintance Caleb Raper of Burlington, being at that meeting, went as com­panion with me, of whose company I was glad, he [Page 66] being a valuable elder: We went first to Rockaway, then to Jamaica, Sequetague, Setakit, Matinicock, Cowneck, and Westbury meetings, and at most of them I had good satisfaction; the good presence of the Lord in whom I delighted above all things, be­ing witnessed to my comfort, and I believe to the edification and comfort of the sincere in heart; but the testimony of Truth went particularly sharp to the lukewarm professors and libertines in our socie­ty; that humbling time I had at Flushing was of singular service to me, being thereby made willing­ly subject to the Divine openings of Truth, and motion of the eternal Spirit and pure word of Life, in speaking to the several states of those who were present in the meetings, and life came into dominion, and the power thereof overshadowed at times, to my humble admiration, blessed be the name of the Lord who is worthy for ever and ever!

Then crossing Whitestone ferry we had meet­ings at West-Chester, Momarineck, Rywoods, and Longreach, which were mostly to good satisfaction, we then went to New-York and were at their meet­ing, and in the evening had a select one with friends, which gave me considerable relief, and I believe satisfaction to them, and we were made thankful together in the renewings of the covenant of life; from thence we went to a meeting at Newtown on Long-Island, and to the monthly-meeting at Flush­ing, where friends gave me a certificate in return to that I brought from home, in which they signi­fied their unity with my service on the Island; then taking leave of friends in sweetness of mind and inward peace, being clear of those parts I returned homewards, and went to the Narrows that night, but could not get over; next morning early crossed the ferry, when there was a great swell, occasioned by the stormy weather in the evening and night before, and having now no wind were obliged to [Page 67] row the boat over; in the passage I remembred, that in crossing this ferry when coming on this visit, I thought myself never much poorer, having only a secret hope and trust in the holy arm of Power, and being now inwardly sensible of my own weakness, I had to acknowledge that I went not forth on this embassy in my own will and strength, and therefore craved only, that my blessed Lord and master would blot out mine offences, and yet enable me so to walk in humble obedience the residue of my time, as to be favoured with the answer of well done at the con­clusion; and knowing the nature and treachery of self, did not want to be intrusted with much reward at present, choosing rather, that the Lord in his in­finite wisdom and mercy, should deal out to me my daily bread according to his own pleasure, bipassed over this Jordan with my staff and now I am become two bands, was the saying of Jacob Gen. xxxii. 10. As this saying of the good Patriarch came fresh in my mind, I thought, that altho' I could not see myself much increased in heavenly treasure, I came poor, and had only the staff of Faith to lean upon, yet I had to bless the Lord that he was now pleased to favour me with the same staff in my return, on the never failing strength whereof, I might with safety evermore rely, and in holy resignation I had to praise his worthy name. I proceeded with my friend Caleb Raper to Burlington, where we parted in much love and nearness, in which we had travel­led together, I reached home about wheat harvest, and found my dear wife and family well.

I went not much abroad the residue of this sum­mer, and the year following; but was careful to at­tend our own and many neighbouring meetings, also monthly, quarterly and yearly-meetings in this and the adjacent province, some business of a pub­lic nature, together with my own circumstances, necessarily engaged me for several years, in which [Page 68] time, viz. in the spring of the year 1745, my dear wife having drawings in her mind to visit the meet­ings of friends in Virginia, Maryland, and North Carolina, obtained a certificate of the unity of friends with her, to travel in that service with Jane Hoskins of Chester; and in the same year I was nominated with several other friends to visit the families be­longing to our monthly-meeting, which being large and many friends living at a distance, was a labori­ous work, and not fully peformed until the fall of the year 1747, when account was given that the service was perfected to a good degree of satisfacti­on. In the winter following, I had it on my mind to visit all the families of the particular meeting of Newark near Brandywine, who seemed to be in a declining state as to religion, having dropped their week day meeting, and often much neglected to attend their first day meeting, many of the elderly friends being deceased, and their children almost turned to the world, and united to the spirit, plea­sures, and pastimes thereof; my brother W ^m. Brown, and his wife, and mine were with me on this service, and great plainness was used in opening to many particulars the cause of their declension, and as the love of truth engaged me in the service, I had peace and satisfaction, and those visited seemed to receive the visit kindly.

In the spring of the year 1748, I felt drawings in my mind to visit some families of friends in Philadelphia, of which I acquainted my brethren at home, and having their concurrence, in the fourth month I joined with some friends in the city who were sometime before appointed to the service, and we went in much love from house to house, the Lord, by his good presence, being with us to our mutual comfort; and as I attended to the draw­ings of truth, I found a concern to go to the mayor of the city (accompanied by my good friend Israel [Page 69] Pemberton the elder,) and was engaged to lay be­fore him the nature of his office as a magistrate, and exhorted him to take care that he bore not the sword in vain, but put the laws in execution against evil doers, such as drunkards, profane swearers, &c. and to be, in his authority, a terror to the wicked, and an encourager of them that do well; he was loving and tender, and expressed his satisfaction with the visit.

While I was in the city, the Governor called or summoned the members of Assembly together, and in pressing terms laid before them the defenceless state of Pennsylvania, in order to prevail with the house to grant a sum of money to station a ship of force at Delaware capes, also to encourage the build­ing a battery below the city, which was began some­time before by subscription, but likely to be too hea­vy for the undertakers; one night as I lay in my bed, it came very weightily upon me to go to the house of assembly, and lay before the members thereof the danger of departing from trusting in that divine arm of power which had hitherto protected the In­habitants of our land in peace and safety; the con­cern rested on me several days, which occasioned me with earnest breathings to seek the Lord, that if this was a motion from him, he would be pleased to direct my steps therein, so that I might be pre­served from giving just cause of offence to any, for it seemed to be a very difficult time; many, even of our society, declaring their willingness that a sum of money should be given to the King, to shew our loyalty to him, and that they were willing to part with their substance for his use, tho' as a peo­ple, we had a testimony to bear against all outward wars and sightings; I made no man privy to my concern until a week had near passed; when one morning it became so heavy upon me, that I went to the house of an intimate friend, who being just up invited me to come in, and as we sat together, [Page 70] he had a sense that something of weight was upon me, and asked if I was concerned about the assem­bly; whereupon I asked him, if he ever knew of any friends going to the assembly with a concern to speak to them? he answered nay, adding, ‘but I have often wondered that they have not, for I have understood that it was formerly a common practice for them to sit in silence a while, like solemn worship, before they proceeded to do business.’ I told him, that I had it on my mind to go to the house that morning and should be glad of suitable company; he directed me to one whom he thought such, and I immediately went to him and acquainted him with my concern; but as I spake, I felt that I had better go alone, and there­fore told him, that if he did not feel clear and easy to go with me, I advised him to stay; he replied "thy way is before thee, but I believe I must not go:" I therefore returned to my friend, who did not discourage me, tho' I had no company; being pressed in mind, I went directly to the State-house before I took breakfast, and got there just as the speaker, J. K. was going in, I beckoned to him and he came to me; I told him I wanted to be admitted into the house, for I thought I had something to say to them which seemed to me of importance; he said, it was a critical time, and they had a difficult affair before them, and queried, whether I had not better wait until the house parted, and another member being near, said, he thought it would be best, and less liable to give offence, for there were divers members not of our society, and if I would wait until the house broke up, they would inform all the members that were friends, and did not doubt they would be willing to give me an oppor­tunity to inform them what was on my mind. I told them, that would give me no relief, for I had a particular desire that those members who were not [Page 71] of our society should be present; believing that it would be better for them to hear and judge for themselves than to have it at second hand, as it might be differently represented; at which they were a little silent; then I requested the speaker that he would go in and inform the members, that a coun­try man was in waiting who had a desire to be ad­mitted, having something to communicate to them, and if they refused he would be clear; he readily and affectionately answered he would, and soon brought me word that they were willing. There was a great awe over my mind when I went in, which I thought in some measure spread, and pre­vailed over the members beyond my expectation, after a silence of perhaps ten or twelve minutes, I felt as though all fear of man was taken away, and my mind influenced to address them in sub­stance after the following manner.

I acknowledged their kindness in hearing me with so much patience, and taking leave, withdrew; several members followed me out and expressed their satisfaction in an affectionate manner with my visit; and embracing each other, we parted in a sense of the love and power of Christ Jesus our Lord, who, with the Father, is worthy of all thanks­giving and praise for ever and ever.

After my service in Philadelphia was over, I re­turned home with peace and satisfaction, and went not much abroad save to our quarterly and yearly-meetings, until the spring following in the year 1749, when I went with Michael Lightfoot to the yearly-meeting at West-river in Maryland, in which journey, the weather being hot and some weakness of body attending, it threw me into a strong fever and a stoppage in my breast, that it was with some difficulty I got home, and continued without any amendment a considerable time; and one evening as I was preparing for bed, an imposthume broke, which I suppose was on my lights because it came up my windpipe, almost strangling me for a consi­derable time, that I expected I was near expiring, but felt a resignation in this trying time beyond my expectation, which I took to be a great favour from the Lord; there is no support like the light of his countenance. I continued bleeding more or less many days, but gradually mended. In the eighth month being pretty well recovered, in much love [Page 74] I felt drawings in my mind to visit some meetings in the back parts of Chester, Philadelphia, and Bucks counties, and part of New-Jersey, and laying my concern before my friends had their concur­rence, and was accompanied by my kinsman Joshua Brown through most of the journey; our first ap­pointed meeting was at Radnor, in which truth owned our service in a good degree, and passing over Schuylkill went to Plymouth, North-wales, Skippack, and New-providence, which last meeting for want of more careful notice was very small, and not being easy in my mind, I had a singular free­dom to let them know, that I would endeavour to be at that place again on the second day following, and should be glad they would please to give full notice thereof, and having a strong draught in my mind to turn back to North-wales, I went the same evening to Robert Jones's at Skippack, and next day to see a friend who had been a long time in­disposed, with whom we had a good opportunity, which I believe was of advantage to the friend, through the goodness and mercy of the blessed shep­herd of Israel; I also visited two other friends, and we were comforted together in the renewing of heavenly goodness; and on first day was at North­wales meeting, which was large and satisfactory, and at Providence again on second day, where friends generally met, and I had an opportunity to clear myself in a particular manner; then went to Evans's meeting by the side of Schuylkill, and had a meeting the same evening at the house of Thomas May, both which were to some satisfaction; after­wards went to Maiden-creek, Exeter, and Rich­land, and from thence over Delaware to Kingwood, and visited the meetings in Burlington, Gloucester, and Salem Counties as far down as Greenwich, and returnd homewards by Haddonfield, from whence in my going down, my kinsman Joshua [Page 75] Brown left me and went home; I called to visit Hannah Cooper, whose husband had not long been dead, she seemed under affliction of body and mind; I felt a near sympathy with her, and tho' we did not converse much together, yet in the owning love of him who is a friend to the afflicted, we were mutually comforted; she expressed her sa­tisfaction in a tender manner, saying that soon after I came her exercise was lightened, and she was re­freshed in a sense of the kindness of the Lord, in affording a sympathy and inward feeling to the chil­dren of his family; my soul was humbled in reve­rent thankfulness to him the author of all good, who is praise worthy for ever. In the morning I had a passage over Delaware about the tenth hour, which by reason of ice had not been passable for several days before; tarrying in Philadelphia that night, I went next day to Derby meeting, and the day following got well home, and found my dear wife and family well.

On my leaving home to perform this visit, I felt great inward weakness, and in going from meeting to meeting, frequent humbling baptisms attended, in which the present state of the church was seen, and the conditions of many spoken to in the love of truth, which made me often think that it seemed like a farewell visit, at least for a long time.

I may now make a remark which I hope will not be improper or unprofitable. As I passed along in this visit, I observed some people would earnestly press me to go home with them, and would say they would not take it kind if I did not, and friends did not use to serve them so, that is, pass by them; yet I thought there was not much of the innocent sweetness of truth to be felt at their houses, or even about them; tho' they would say, why! thou hast hit the nail on the head, there is just such people among us as thou hast spoken of; and seemed as [Page 76] to themselves, safe and easy, when perhaps their religion lay much in thinking that good friends were familiar with them and thought well of them; I also took notice of another sort, who tho' they were not fond of having friends to go with them, would speak well of their service, and deal it out liberally to others in a censorious manner, and not look on themselves with a true prospect which would have led them to smite on their own breasts, with a feeling, short prayer, rather than apprehend them­selves better than others, when perhaps coveteousness and a worldly spirit had almost destroyed charity, which is the sure product of true religion; a third sort, I beheld humbled and bowed, whose words were few, and would frequently if they said any­thing, lament the state of the society, and speak of their own weakness, and fear lest they should not walk in the uprightness of truth before their own families and the church, the dew rested on them in their humble situation; I was thankful in the sense I had, that there were some few of these in almost every meeting, and I had a firm belief, that some among the youth were under the hand of the great preparer of men for his own work; these children are mostly modest and diffident of themselves, sin­cerely affectionate, not over forward or fondling, but lovers of truth in heart, to whom I felt great nearness of spirit, believing they would grow, in the root of Life; I beheld some others among the youth, whom I feared had too great a delight to live on the labours of others, who nevertheless had been favoured with the reaches of divine Love, but for want of dwelling deep and humble with the pure witness in themselves, ran out in the affection­ate part, and were greatly delighted to hear truth's testimony, and valued instruments according to their own liking; these, tho' they appear as goodly flowers, for want of an humble acode in the vine, [Page 77] do sometimes wither away as grass on the house top. If you love me, keep my commandments, was a precept of our holy Lord and Master; to keep his commandments we must inwardly dwell with his grace in our hearts, by which the law of the spirit of life is known and understood, by the en­lightening and everlasting sure word of Prophecy, which will privately interpret, and secretly shew to every man his duty, and the calling of God, and abilitate to abide therein, and his law is light and his commandment as a lamp to the feet of his peo­ple for ever.

As I sat in a week day meeting in the winter (1748,) which was held in a private house, (our meeting house being burnt sometime before;) I felt great weakness and poverty attending my mind, which occasioned a deep inquiry into the cause; and after a time of inward waiting, the humbling divine presence was felt in reverent profound silence, yet the gentle operation of the divine power caused a secret inward trembling, and the following was uttered in a language intelligent to the inward man, gather thyself from all the cumbers of the world, and be thou weaned from the popularity, love, and friend­ship thereof. I believed this to be the voice of the holy one of Israel, as a merciful warning to pre­pare for my final change, or to stand ready for some service which would separate me from tempo­ral business and the nearest connections in life; and from that time I endeavoured to settle my affairs, and contract my little business as well as I could. In the summer following I met with an unexpected trial, for without my knowledge my name was put in the new commission for justices of the peace, and endeavours were used to persuade me to be quali­fied in order to act in that station, and some of my particular friends told me it seemed providential, and they thought it was my place to accept there­of, [Page 78] as I might be helpful by way of example to some in the commission who were friends; for a short time I was exceedingly straitened, but my eye being fixed on the Lord for counsel, it pleased him in great condescention once more to revive the sen­tence before mentioned, gather thyself from all the cumbers of the world, &c. which to me settled the point, and I became easy in mind, and humbly thankful to my blessed instructor who had called me for other service.

After my return home from the visit to friends in New-Jersey before related, I felt such an inward silence for about two or three weeks, that I thought I had done with the world, and also any further service in the church, and the preparing hint was brought to my mind, with thankfulness that I had endeavoured in a good degree to practise it; and one day walking alone, I felt myself so inwardly weak and feeble, that I stood still, and by the reverence that covered my mind, I knew that the hand of the Lord was on me and his presence round about, the earth was silent and all flesh brought into stillness, and light went forth with brightness, and shone on Great Britain, Ireland, and Holland, and my mind felt the gentle, yet strongly drawing cords of that love which is stronger than death, which made me say, Lord! go before, and strengthen me, and I will follow whithersoever thou leads. I had seen this journey near fifteen years in a very plain manner, and at times for ten years, thought the concern so strong upon me that I must lay it before my friends for their advice; but was secretly restrained; being made to believe, that an exercise of that sort would ripen best to be kept quiet in my own heart to know the right time, by no means desiring to run without being sent; to see a thing is not a commission to do that thing; the time when, and judgment to know the acceptable time, are the gifts of God. The time I had to pre­pare [Page 79] for the journey was short, and therefore thought it was needful to employ my time to the best advan­tage, and as I had a desire to see friends of several particular meetings, namely Bradford, West and East Caln, Uwchland, Nantmill, and Goshen, my sister Dinah James went with me to those meetings, which through the goodness of the Lord were so­lidly profitable, we had also a meeting at Henry Hockley's, near French Creek Iron-works, which was to some good satisfaction, and so to the quarterly meeting at Concord in the twelfth month, where I met my brother William Brown, who queried of me where I had been, and what I had been doing? I told him, I had been doing as he, and every ho­nest man ought to do, collecting little debts and paying where I owed, and endeavouring to settle my affairs; for that such care was necessary when one expected a great sum would be immediately demanded: In a few days after my return from the quarterly-meeting, I laid my concern before our preparative meeting, in order that friends might have a month to weigh and consider it before I spoke for a certificate; for I wanted their feeling concurrence in this weighty undertaking, firmly believing, that my great and good Master would not require any thing of me in which my dear friends could not concur, and tho' while the power of Truth was upon me, I was made freely to give up; yet now home, and the near affection to a dear wife, only son, relations and friends, were exceed­ingly quick and affecting, and something in me seemed to have a choice, that my friends would judge that I was too weakly and infirm in body, or not otherwise qualified for the service, and if that should be their mind, I thought I should be clear; in the interval I visited the neighbouring meetings, and carefully attended to the motion of truth there­in; and in the first month, having the concurrence [Page 80] of the preparative meeting, I laid my concern be­fore the monthly meeting, and attended our gene­ral spring meeting at Philadelphia, and my brother W ^m. Brown having spoken for a certificate on the like concern, it seemed pleasant to think of crossing the Ocean together, and friends were for proposing a passage, and what ship we should go in; but I felt a secret prohibition against being any ways con­cerned about a passage until I had a certificate, and knew that I was fully clear; so returned home. And having a desire to see friends in York county over Susquehanna, I went there, accompanied by my brother James Brown, to the meetings at New­berry, Warrington, Huntington, and Monallan, which were mostly to a good degree of satisfaction, and in my return being humble and low in mind, and ruminating on my European journey, which was before me, my spirit seemed to sink, and my affection to my dear wife, and family, and friends so awakened upon me, that it looked to me impos­sible to part from them and live; but endeavouring to retire, blessed be the name of the Lord the helper of his people! by whose power a silence was known, and by a gentle, instructive, inward voice, my at­tention was gained, and my mind diverted from its pain by the following query: "Suppose thou shouldst lend a valuable thing to a neighbour of thine, to be returned on demand, and thou shouldst favour him therewith from time to time, not only one year, but seven, and then shouldst see cause to demand it to be resigned; wouldst thou not think that neighbour ungrateful, if he did not resign it chearfully, and with thankfulness and acknowledg­ment suitable to thy kindness?" The proposition demanded my assent, and my understanding was fully opened by the following application: "All that thou enjoyest is mine, dost thou love these things more than me? if not, why is it so hard for [Page 81] thee to resign all to follow me? which made me cry, Lord! enable me, and I will follow thee, it is only by thy strength I can do it;" and by the gracious goodness of Christ, my great and good Master, I felt an humble resignation to his will, who being all things to his people, is worthy to be followed and obeyed for ever. Now I was led to believe this was the instruction of the blessed spirit to me, and as I had much comfort and satisfaction thereby, I am free to leave it as a hint, that others under trials of what kind so ever, may be encouraged to look unto him for help, who is the Lord, migh­ty to save, and able to deliver to the uttermost all who sincerely trust in him.

I returned home, and my certificate being signed in the second month, attended our quarterly meet­ing at Concord in the third month, and went to Philadelphia to see for a passage, and with my bro­ther W. B. found one to our liking and to the sa­tisfaction of friends, which we also valued; I then returned home, waiting until the ship was near ready to sail, and during that time visited several neighbouring meetings, taking leave of my neigh­bours and friends; and on the first day of the fourth month (1750,) taking leave of my dear wife and aged mother, I left home before sun rise, and went to Philadelphia that night, spent the next day in visiting some of my acquaintance, and on the first of the week attended three meetings; in the morn­ing at the Bank, which was a satisfactory good meeting, wherein friends where exhorted to attend on the gift of God, for instruction and ability to perform every good word and work, and in the af­ternoon and evening at the High, or Market-street house, which tho' not quite so open as the other, were in the main solid good meetings.

CHAP. IV.

ON the fourth day of the fourth month (1750) being the second of the week, we left Phila­delphia, accompanied by several of our relations and friends to Chester, and went on board the ship Carolina, Stephen Mesnard commander, (bound for London,) where my brother W ^m. Brown and myself took leave of them; and passing down Delaware, went out to sea in the afternoon of the sixth of the same month, and had a good passage, in which I was not sea sick, tho' my brother was most of the time. We landed at Dover on the sixth of the fifth month, being just five weeks from the time I left my own house, and we had to rejoice with humble thankfulness, that, during the passage, we were careful to keep our meetings in the great Ca­bin twice a week, in which we felt the presence of our great Lord and Master, and therein were com­forted. On the day we landed we had a meeting at Dover to good satisfaction, then took passage in a stage coach to Canterbury the same evening, and lodged at William Patterson's, who entertained us very kindly; rested there on seventh day, and on first day sat with friends in their morning and after­noon meetings to some satisfaction; tho' I had little to say to them, I thought there was a tender people in that city and W. B. had an open time; next morn­ing taking our passage in a stage coach, we reached London the same evening, and continued in and about the city until the twenty-first of the sixth [Page 83] month, in which time I wrote divers letters to my wife and particular friends in Pennsylvania, and was several times at each of the meetings in the city, in which I sat mostly silent, under a great ex­ercise of mind from a sense of a too forward minis­try, which rather disturbed the solemn quiet thereof than ministred instruction to the humble waiting children, of which number I thought there were many in that city; tho' it seemed delightful to those who loved to hear words eloquently delivered, and to have the itching ear pleased, yet in heart were li­bertines, and in practice disorderly walkers, I some­times thought, that my silent sitting was so ordered for an example to others for a more steady waiting in their own gifts, to know life to arise into domi­nion in meetings, my exercise increased so, that my sleep seemed to depart from me, and I remained as one sealed up as to ministry, nor had I freedom to go from house to house to dine, or to make many acquaintance, I was therefore censured by some as singular and narrow; at length I felt great enlargement of heart towards other societies, tho' my mouth was shut towards our own, and for a time, it seemed as if I must go and have meetings among those who did not profess with us; and one day, as I was walking towards Ratcliff Fields for the air, a draught of affection flowed so strong towards some in high stations in government, that I concluded, that I must declare the way of life and salvation through Christ Jesus our Lord among them, feeling a greater openness that way than to friends; but making a stand, I secretly cried, ah Lord! what then will become of the family whom thou drewest me hither to visit; then, after a little while, that charge came into my mind very fresh, Mat. x. 5-6. Go not into the way of the Gentiles, and into any city of the Samaritans enter ye not; but go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel, which [Page 84] brought great sweetness, and an increasing heart-yearning for and love to the houshold, and made me acknowledge, good art thou oh! Lord God, for thy mercies endure for ever and ever, and I remem­bred that Nehemiah quietly viewed the state of Je­rusalem by night, and saw, that if I had any service to do in London, the time for it was not yet come; I also remembred what came into my mind at the second meeting I was in after my landing, in which I had but a few sentences to speak, and the motion of life ceased, and I sat down, as I have always found it safe to do, and felt inward poverty and weakness, yet a quiet and attentive mind; but my brother W. B. had good service, and an open time among the people, at which I did admire, and said in my heart; he is fit to be sent abroad; but alas! I am one of the meanest servants that was ever sent over the sea to preach the gospel; when this gentle caution came before me; mind thy own business, and be faithful in thy gift, thou hast a great journey before thee and thy store is small; live therefore frugally, and spend carefully, and covet not another's, and thou shalt not want what is convenient for thyself, and something to spare to the needy: Whereupon I desired with an humble heart, to be preserved in patience and meekness, becoming a disciple of my great Lord and Master, and therein to wait for renewed instruction and ability, to labour in mine own gift without repining, however small.

In a few days I felt some openness towards the West of England, and informed my brother W. B. thereof, who, after a little pause, told me that his way opened Eastward; on some consideration of the matter, we concluded it was best for each of us to mind the pointings of truth, tho' in some cross to our own wills; for this prospect seemed to part us; and if we should endeavour to go together for a time, and then part, some might judge there was [Page 85] a dislike, or want of unity between us, and on com­muning with some of our friends, they were of the same mind; so we resigned, and in much love and affection took leave of each other.

Understanding there was an yearly-meeting to be held in Somersetshire for several of the Western counties, and having some drawings to attend it, I left London on the twenty-first of the sixth month in company with my friend John Hunt, at whose house I lodged, and John Pemberton who came over sea with us on account of his health, and had a meeting that day at Stains, which was pretty good and open, the next at Basingstoke, and so on to Salisbury, and Shaftsbury, the two last being dull meetings, which is often the case where friends are not careful to live near to truth, and reached to Ivelchester, the place where the yearly-meeting be­gan, on seventh day in the evening the twenty-fifth of the month; on first day we had two meetings in the Town Hall, and many people being there, meetings were held at the Market Cross in the street at the same time; I sat silent that day; on the next there was a meeting of ministers and elders in the morning, in which I had some remarks to make respecting ministry; there were also two public meetings the same day, one of which was dull, the other more open, and on third day two meetings rather better, when the yearly-meeting ended; some meetings being laid out for me, John Hunt return­ed to London, but John Pemberton concluded to go with me a few days, and his company was kind­ly accepted of by me, he being a sober, well in­clined young man. We went to Ilminster the first appointed meeting, in which the good presence was witnessed much to my comfort, for I saw that the Lord was near, and helped me in my gift by open­ing the state of the meeting, blessed be his name for ever! I also had an evening meeting at Chard, [Page 86] and next day at Yeovil which was large and open for doctrine, then at Sherborn on the edge of Dor­setshire, from thence went to visit the wife and chil­dren of Jonah Thompson at Compton, he being in Pennsylvania on a religious visit; I had some good satisfaction in the family, and tarried there a day; then went to the meetings at Long Sutton, Puddi­more, Grinton, Glastonbury, Shipton-mallet, and Frome, in which I had mostly, close and plain ser­vice; yet not without a degree of the sweetness and power of Truth, in a sense whereof I was often made humbly thankful to the Lord. Then pro­ceeding to Bath, was at the sorenoon and afternoon meetings there, and had an evening meeting at Caleb Tyley's, which were in some good degree owned by truth; but there is a want of weighty solid friends in this place, which is much frequent­ed by most sorts of people on account of the Wa­ters; from thence we went to Bradford, and Pick­wick meetings; but not being clear at the first, I returned, and had an evening meeting there, to which many came, and it ended to satisfaction. Here I may note, that having a desire to see friends by themselves, and something on my mind in a close manner to the society; when I stood up and began to speak, the house was soon almost filled by others, who would wait without, setting some one to watch when there was any thing spoken; upon their com­ing in, the subject in my view closed, and an open­ing in a doctrinal way presented, and my mind turned to it, and I believe it was to the satisfaction of some seeking people present; after I sat down a few minutes, finding no ease respecting my concern towards friends, I had a freedom to inform the peo­ple, that the public service of that meeting was now over, but I had a desire, that the members of the meeting would stay a little while; on which a friend went to the door, and when the others had gone [Page 87] out shut it, and the friends mostly kept their seats, and in a little time, the state of the meeting came fresh before me again, and I had an opportunity to clear myself in a very plain manner, shewing that the greatest enemies to the truth, were the profes­sors of it, who did not observe the instructions of truth, or grace of God in their own hearts; for altho' the doctrine thereof when declared by quali­fied instruments, was clear and powerfully convin­cing, having the love, and sweetening evidence of Truth with it, reaching the witness in their hearts; yet when the eyes of such so reached, were turned to behold the steps and conduct of the libertine professors among us, they were stumbled by their example, and such were an offence to the little ones, and their portion by way of comparison is hinted at by our Lord, when he says, Mat. xviii. 6. But whoso shall offend one of these little ones who believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. From thence we went to Westbury, and Lavington meetings, and to the quarterly-meeting for Wiltshire held at Devizes, which began on the first day of the week, two meetings for public worship, and one in the even­ing for ministers and elders, and next day for wor­ship and business, but I could see no time, nor room to clear myself to advantage for want of more still­ness; the service of meetings may be hurt for want of silence, and the minds of the people become too unsettled to understand and hear to profit; in a sense whereof, I left this place with an heavy heart, and went to Chippenham, Corsham, Charlcot, and Melksham meetings, besides which had three even­ing meetings, one at Pickwick in a School-house belonging to Thomas Bennet, with his boarding scholars and others; one at John Fry's of Sutton Benjar, and the other at Samuel Ru [...]ty's; some of [Page 88] which were good meetings; then leaving Wiltshire we passed through Bradford, and Bath, and came to Bristol on the twenty-second of the month, where I tarried until first day, the seventh of the eighth month, constantly attending their meetings as they came in course, and visiting several families as truth opened my way, my mind and spirit was bowed very low in this city, under a sense of too general a declension and falling away from truth, into pride, high-mindedness, and the spirit of the world, and a conformity to the vain customs and fashions there­of, of which I frequently made mention amongst them; I was at their two weeks meeting for busi­ness, and quarterly-meeting for inspecting the af­fairs of truth, and laboured much to encourage them to hold weekly meetings for ministers and el­ders, in order to enquire how meetings for worship were attended by public friends, and whether their ministry was acceptable, and the lives and conver­sations of ministers and elders correspondent with their doctrine and profession, which care they had dropped for sometime. I was at sixteen meetings in this city, and one at Frenchay, and visited Anthony Purver's boarding school at that place, and being easy to leave Bristol for the present, we went to Chewmagna in Somersetshire; and after dining at John Hipsley's, had a religious opportunity in his family, and the next day a meeting at Portishead, an evening meeting at James Players, then to Cla­verham, Sidcot, and Mark, some of which were good meetings, a few elderly friends here live near truth, and there was a visitation to the youth, several of whom appeared tender and growing in religion; tho' many professors are seeking after the gain, love, and friendship of the world, not enough consider­ing that Godliness with contentment is the best gain; our next meeting was at Bridgewater, then at Taunton, and were comforted together with friends [Page 89] in their morning and afternoon meetings; in the di­vine presence there is life, and the living are made able to praise the Lord who is worthy. From thence passing to Minehead, Milverton, Wellington, Spice­land, Columpton, having a meeting at each place, we came to Exeter in Devonshire, and attended three meetings there on first day, in each of which I had something to offer; but was much depressed under an apprehension of the prevalence of a deistical spirit over some, which, with the indifference of others about religion, and a light forward zeal in some others, without the deep, inward, baptizing knowledge of Truth, occasion the pure and ever blessed power thereof to be at a low ebb in that city. When the children of the Lord know him their Redeemer to live by his heavenly power in them, they know also that thereby they live, and feelingly know his Truth and the precious testimony, and by this knowledge are influenced with an holy, humble zeal, in love and meekness to work in his vineyard the church, to the honour of God, and the edification and restoration one of another.

Leaving Exeter, we went to Topsham and had a dark dull meeting, and staying at a friend's house to dine, one at the table, who, as I understood, could not spare time to attend the meeting, asked me if I was ever in New-England, and whether I could inform him what sort of a country it was? for, added he, I have heard people say, that the corn (that is wheat) will not ripen there, but is smitten with a rotting mildew which blasts the wheat in the ear; I suddenly felt that I had need of being careful in answering, but knew not why; I answer­ed with caution, that I had seen wheat in that coun­try which looked to be well grown, but in the ear where grain should be, there was little else but a black smut in form of a grain; I have heard, said he, that it would bear full, good wheat formerly, [Page 90] and what can now be the cause why it is blasted, didst thou ever hear? On which I related to him a passage which I had heard, viz. Two persons being in Boston had a curiosity to see the old prison, from whence those friends were led to the place of exe­cution who were hanged at Boston for their religi­ous testimony and principles, and an inhabitant of the town going with them, brought them to the prison, and one of the men said to their guide, is this the old jail where the friends lay who were hanged? an old woman who sat knitting at the door, tho' not spoken to, answered yes it is, and we feelingly know it, for a curse has been on the land ever since, so that it will not bear wheat with­out a blasting, and we are beholden to other colo­nies for bread. He replied with an air of jesting, I have heard so, but I believe nothing of it. I told him we might observe, that the Almighty had some­times manifested his displeasure on a people or na­tion, by famine, the sword, or pestilence for their transgressions, if we had a belief in the sacred wri­tings of the old Testament; he said, it could not be, that the Almighty who is Love in perfection, and in himself infinitely happy for ever, should de­light in severity, and take vengeance on man the workmanship of his hand; some who are narrow in their way of thinking may believe such things, but for his part, he had Ideas more noble of the deity than to believe such notions; by which I perceived he was a deist, and did not regard the Scriptures, and that it would be vain to say much to him; hav­ing often thought it was very difficult to say any thing to reach those sort of low freethinkers, who exercise themselves in the wisdom which is from beneath, and dwell safely in their own imaginations and conceits, whose communication is often infec­tious to others, and to be perceived in the meet­ings and neighbourhoods where they reside.

[Page 91]From thence we went to went to Bovy, Newton-Bushel, Totness and Kingsbridge, at the last, after the morning and afternoon meetings, we had one in the evening with friends selected, which was to satisfaction; and hearing of one family that lived many miles from any meeting, I had a desire to see them, and went thither; I let the friend know, that I came there on purpose to see him and his family, and should be glad to have them come together and be still a little while, desiring it might be soon, for we intended to go that night to Plymouth; he said it would not answer them at that time, his children being employed in pressing out cider. I let him know, that I hoped I should not detain them long, and if they lightened the press, the cider would not run over; but could not prevail with him, tho' I informed him, that I had left all my business, and had come some thousand miles to see my friends in this nation, and hearing how remote he lived from meeting, had a particular mind to see him; he re­plied that he should be glad it had suited them, but could not put his business by at that time; so, with a heavy heart, I left his house and went to Plymouth where we had a meeting the next day: Then to Germains, Liscard, Looe, Austil, and Denny's (in Cornwall,) at which last place the people are most­ly employed in the tin mines, and we had a pretty good meeting, a visit from a friend being accepta­ble to them, and they willing to leave their business tho' poor people. From hence we proceeded pret­ty direct to the Land's-end, intending to take the meetings on our return, and were at Penzance meeting on sixth day; at this meeting my compani­on John Pemberton spoke a few words in way of testimony, tender and broken, being the first time, and I thought had a good degree of the savour of truth attending; and on seventh day, went to visit an ancient friend sick and bed rid, near the Land's-end [Page 92] where formerly there had been a meeting, and returned in the evening to Penzance; on first day had a meeting at Marazion in the morning, and at Penzance in the evening: We then turned East­ward, and attended a meeting at Falmouth, and five others in this county of Cornwall; then passed through Devonshire, taking a meeting at Oakhamp­ton, and twelve others in Somersetshire, some of which were large and open, for there came many seeking people to the meetings at Bridgewater, and I hope some of those opportunities were through Divine favour profitable to some of them; and not being easy in my mind to leave this county without being at the quarterly-meeting for business to be held at Glastonbury, I returned thither, and was concerned to lay before friends the declining state of the society in that county, and to exhort them to put the discipline in practice, that the church might be cleared from disorders, which caused re­proach; it was thought by friends to be the most solid quarterly-meeting which had been held in that county for many years. From thence we went to Caln in Wiltshire, being about fifty miles, and were at their meeting on first day the sixteenth of the tenth month, where we met out friend and country­man Daniel Stanton from Philadelphia in the course of his religious visit, and were glad in each others company, tho' the meetings both forenoon and af­ternoon were but dull, the people looking for words, were disappointed; the next day we went together to a monthly-meeting at Chippenham; the meeting for worship was held in the meeting house, at the conclusion of which friends rose and went out; I asked them where they were going, for I felt very uneasy, they said to do the business of the meeting, and feeling a strong engagement to be with them while they transacted the affairs of the church, I followed them, tho' it rained very fast; they went [Page 93] into a spacious house where a room was prepared for the purpose, and a good fire; I sat down with them tho' sorely distressed, they seemed to do the business in a formal ready way; I endeavoured to press them to weightiness of spirit, that they might feel the state of the society and the need there was to put the discipline in practice, for religion was at a low ebb in that county; they seemed not to understand me, and indeed I found but little room or openness to say much to them; they soon finished their busi­ness; when I rose up and moved for going away, they informed me that friends staid to dine where the business was transacted, and that the friends of the house would think it very strange if I went away; so they told the woman that the friend was going away; she met me in the Hall, and said, I must not go before I took dinner; I told her I should, for that I had not freedom to stay to eat or drink in the house; she asked me why? I pressingly desired her to inquire of the Truth in her own heart and she might find the cause, so I went away, and a friend followed me out, and shewed me the way to his house where I left my horse, and there I found Daniel Stanton, and my companion J. P. who went not to the meeting for business; Daniel informed me, that he followed us to the door, but could not go in, for he thought he felt the life of truth struck at, or trampled upon in that house, and therefore returned to the other where we had left our horses, and J. P. with him; I was glad that he had such a sense, and he expressed satisfaction that I did not stay to dine, so we dined together, after which Daniel went Westward, and we towards London, taking several meetings in our way, and arrived there the thirty-first of the tenth month, and tarry­ing in the city until the twenty-fifth of the eleventh month, in the mean time I carefully visited all the meetings in great awfulness, being bowed in spirit [Page 94] under a sense of a forward ministry, and sat chiefly in silence among them: I also attended their meet­ings for discipline, namely one quarterly-meeting, the monthly, two weeks, second day morning meet­ings, and meeting for sufferings, and was in much heaviness of mind, having a sense of a great ne­glect in some who were active members, in not wait­ing for a true qualification to act for the honour of God and edification of the church; nevertheless there is a remnant who are concerned to seek his honour, and to wait for the influence of his Divine Spirit and Power, to whom I was, at times, con­cerned to speak by way of encouragement. To trans­act the weighty affairs of the church in as light and easy a manner as men commonly buy and sell in a market, will always rather bring death over a meet­ing than life.

We left London on the twenty-sixth of the eleventh month, and went to Chelmsford in Essex, and the next day sat with friends in their forenoon and afternoon meetings to pretty good satisfaction, through the goodness and power of the Lord, whose presence was measurably felt among us to the praise of his ever worthy name; then taking meetings as regularly as we could, we visited that county in twenty-four days, and had twenty-three public meetings, and some family sittings. My service for truth in this county was in a close plain way, mostly with but few words; for it often appeared to me, that there was a greater desire to hear, than to put in practice those things they were exhorted to, for which I often mourned, and had a strong sympathy with the few sensible, baptized friends amongst them; for brevity sake I close this general account without further remark.

We then passed to Ipswich in Suffolk, and had a meeting with friends there to some satisfaction, there being a tender sincere remnant among them; [Page 95] and taking the East part of the county, we had ten meetings, and visited several indisposed friends to good satisfaction; then went to Yarmouth in Norfolk, and after attending their meetings in the morning and afternoon on first day, had a large satisfactory one the same evening, many of the people of the town coming to it; then going to Norwich we tarried with friends there about a week, in which time I had four meetings in that city, and one at Lammas near it, and also visited divers indisposed friends, and had satisfaction there­in. Intending to visit all the meetings in Norfolk county, a friend undertook to lay them out for me, and made a list of them, of which he gave me a copy, and told me, it was the way to take the meet­ings with the least traveling; but I felt a strait in my mind, which I had always found safe for me to attend to until I saw a way open, and being thought­ful about it, I desired him to inform me, what meeting bore most to the North East from that place, he told me it was North-Walsam; I desired him to begin there, and name the meetings most regular afterwards, and I would tell him if the list felt pleasant as he went on; he then proceeded, and we readily finished one which was easy to me; when I desired him to set down the distances as he had done in the other, and on comparing them, we found the last to be at least three miles less riding; he seemed to be pleased, and said it was not the usual way of taking those meetings; I was willing to lay out nine, but told him, I was not fully easy to venture the giving public notice further, that perhaps the weather might be difficult; he said there would be a general meeting in a few days, when friends from many meetings would be toge­ther, and likely to have full notice very easily given for a few meetings further, which he thought I had best leave to him, so we went forward to North-Walsam, [Page 96] and had a satisfactory meeting, and taking the meetings in course, came to the quarterly-meet­ing of ministers and elders at Norwich; the friend who laid out the meetings informed me, that if I had taken them according to his first list, I should have interfered with a public friend at several, who was then on a visit, and he thought there was a hand of providence remarkable in turning me; for as we were both strangers, we should have been straitened through a tender regard to each others service; he likewise let me know, that he did not remember that their quarterly-meeting began the next day after the meeting beyond which I told him I was not free to appoint any, and that having sent the list to a friend to publish at the general meeting before mentioned, he had been obliged to attend that meeting to stop the notice respecting the few meetings he talked of, otherwise I should have mis­sed the quarterly-meeting, and he thought it would teach him to be more cautious in future. I mention this occurrence with a degree of reverent thankful­ness and humility, with no other veiw than to en­courage those ministers who are called forth to visit the churches, to diligently and innocently attend to the motion of truth, which the more we are humbled and inwardly quiet, the clearer it is un­derstood and felt; but as this is instruction for our­selves, it is safer for us to treasure it up in our own hearts, than to make it too cheap by talking there­of to others. This quarterly-meeting, both in re­spect to public worship and transacting the affairs of truth, was held to satisfaction, through the Lord's favour, who will be near to them that diligently seek him, blessed be his name for ever!

Then taking Ellingham meeting, we went to Thetford, and had a meeting with friends there, both which were distressing, from a sense of the prevalence of a ranting spirit: Here it appeared [Page 97] expedient to lay out meetings for the ensuing week, in order that suitable notice might be given; and as they were named to me in course by friends, I felt a remarkable desire to see the friends of one certain meeting by themselves, at or near the ele­venth hour of the day, altho' quite a stranger to their situation, numbers, or state; and a friend be­ing present belonging to that meeting, I requested her care about it, and then went home with Richard Brewster to Edmondsbury, and attended the meet­ings there on the first day morning and afternoon, which were in the main satisfactory, and in the evening had a meeting with a sick friend: In this town there is a considerable number of hopeful friends. We then went to Ratlesden, Bardwell, and through Livermore to Brand, the place where I had the desire to see friends by themselves, as be­fore mentioned, and coming to the friend's house whose wife had been intrusted with the notice, I asked her if it was not time to go to the meeting, she said, thou must ask my husband, appearing to be distressed; I asked where he was, she replied in his warehouse, and sent for him; he coming after a while, I suppose about twelve o'clock, I asked him the time of the meeting, he answered at six in the evening (to be sure;) I told him, that I had in­formed his wife of my desire that it should be at eleven; he replied, she said so but I thought it would be dishonorable, for few only would attend it at that time, for the people of that town were chiefly such as were obliged to do their days work, which would be finished at six in the evening, when the house would be nearly full; I told him, I did desire to see friends by themselves, and supposed they could meet at any hour; he granted that they could have met at the the time proposed; but said, he was a man of a more liberal spirit than to want to eat his morsel alone, but was desirous his neigh­bours [Page 98] should partake with him, and thought it his duty to endeavour to inform and help those whom he apprehended were backward or ignorant in the performance of their duty, and he said, that the end and intent of ministers going forth was to pub­lish the gospel, and he thought, to the more the better; I let him know that it was necessary for those who were called to the work of the ministry, to know also to whom they were called, or other­wise they might be mistaken, and go north instead of south, or to a different nation or country; he answered, that he believed if they were rightly cal­led, the spirit would inform them where they were to go; I replied very well, and when they are come to the right place, the spirit would let them know what they have to do, he said, I believe so too. Whereupon I told him, if I knew the language of that spirit that called me from my native land to Old-England, it was the same that inclined me to see the friends of that town by themselves, and af­terwards if I felt an enlargement of mind, could have proposed a public meeting with the town's-peo­ple in the evening; and why not one opportunity for both? he queried, adding "for I should be willing that all the town might hear what thou canst have to say us." I then said to him, "if a certain great person on whom thy prosperity in all things tempo­ral did absolutely depend, should in singular kind­ness to thee, send a messenger to acquaint or advise thee of some matter relating to thyself in thy own particular conduct, in which thy prosperity, peace, and interest would, without thy immediate care, be nearly affected, wouldst thou judge it prudent to say to the ambassador of such a friend, deliver not thy message to me, until I call my neighbours and the people of the town to hear it, and so expose thy own weakness to thy disadvantage, without be­nefit to thy neighbours? consider it carefully, my [Page 99] heart yearns to the professors of truth in this town, and it seems to me that my business at present was only with them, and as I can't have an opportunity according to my freedom and desire, I shall hold myself excused:" He answered, if nothing but a meeting with friends will do, we must send them word to come together as soon as they can; I told him, that would now by no means do; for he was at present so chafed in his mind, that he could not hear to much advantage; he then asked me what end would be answered by my coming there? I told him, to detect such heady unsound members as he was, that thought it dishonourable for a few friends to meet together to worship God, tho' their number was more than two or three, to whom the promise was; he said, then what will become of the meeting? I let him know he must look to that, who had without orders headily appointed it, and so left him; and went to Mildenhall, where a friend told me, that he being at the meeting aforesaid when public notice was given, that it was on this wise, Friends and Neighbours! "Please to take notice that a friend from America desires, a public meeting here on wednesday next, at six o'clock in the evening," which circumstance I did not know when I was at his house; on the whole I had inward peace in my observations and conduct to this man, and many friends rejoiced; for several had been overborn by him to their grief, and I was since informed, that he some what laid the matter to heart, and was often heard to say, that he would not serve any friend so again; after which we had many meetings in this county, and passing into Cambridgeshire had eight meetings therein, and I thought the life of religion was low in general, tho' there are a few tender friends in several places; we then went to divers meetings in Huntingdonshire, Northampton­shire, Bedfordshire, and Hertfordshire, in which it [Page 100] was mostly my lot to point out to friends the danger they were in, of losing the pure savour of truth, for want of humbly attending to the dictates there­of in their own hearts, which had already occasioned a dwarfishness among the professors in those parts; several friends met us at Waltham Abbey from London, with whom we went to that city in order to attend the yearly-meeting, which began on the twenty-sixth, and ended on the sixth day of the week, the thirty-first of the third month (1751,) and in the several sittings thereof, both for public worship and the transaction of the affairs of truth, was thought, by many, to be the most weighty and solid meeting that had been known for many years; which was cause of humble rejoicing and deep thankfulness to many friends, in that the Lord had vouchsafed his heavenly presence in wisdom and power, to the praise of his sacred name; several friends staying in the city after the meeting was over, we had a large and satisfactory one on the seventh day of the week, and I tarried attending divers meetings until the sixth of the fourth month, then went to Chelmsford, and sat with friends in their morning and afternoon meetings on first day, and from thence to the yearly-meeting at Colchester; but being taken ill of a fever, was prevented at­tending more than one sitting of that meeting; yet through mercy was resigned, and had peace; staid their meeting in that town on the fifth day of the week, and the next day set forward with my bro­ther W ^m. Brown, John Griffith, and my compani­on, in order to attend Woodbridge yearly-meeting, which began on the seventeenth of the month, and altho' the fever had not left me, I was enabled to attend every sitting of it, which was a large and solid meeting throughout, and friends were re­freshed together; praised be the Lord! whose mercy is great to his people; my companion J. P. went [Page 101] with my brother to some adjacent meetings, but I staid the week day meeting in this town, which was through Divine favour satisfactory. We met again at the yearly-meeting at Norwich in a few days, which concluded to satisfaction, and friends were made truly thankful to the Lord for this additional favour; we spent a few days longer at this city, and attended their monthly meeting; after which, hav­ing a desire to visit a few meetings in company with my brother W ^m. Brown where Ranterism seemed to prevail, he having the like concern, we took a monthly meeting at Wimondham, also the meetings at Matssil and Ellingham, in which we were con­cerned to use great plainness to clear ourselves on account of that ranting spirit; then went to Ware­ham, and had a precious meeting with the few friends of that place, and to a very large general meeting at Downham, many of other societies be­ing there, and it became my concern to recite the words of our blessed Lord, John v. 39-40. Search the Scriptures for in them, ye think ye have eternal life, and they are they which testify of me, and ye will not come to me that ye might have life, from whence I had to shew them the danger of trust­ing to information and knowledge, whether by reading the Scriptures, or hearing them preached, and neglecting to attend unto the inspeaking voice of Christ immediately in the heart, which is the only sure interpreter of the scriptures, leading those who attend to his instruction in the sure way to life eternal. Then parting with W. B. we went to Wisbich, and Thornyfenn in Cambridgeshire, and taking divers meetings in Lincolnshire, we passed into the East-Riding of Yorkshire, in which we had twenty four meetings, and taking eight in the county of Durham, we came to Shields in North­umberland, New-Castle, and Alnwick Abbey, and reached Kelso in Scotland on the first of the seventh [Page 102] month, where we met Susanna Fothergill on her return home: We attended the morning and after­noon meetings at Kelso, on first day. Alas! Truth is here at a low ebb, and feeling my mind not to be clear of friends in this place, I desired to have a select meeting with them, which Susanna and her companion attended, and we had an opportunity of clearing ourselves of friends there, who had much fallen from the simplicity of the pure Truth, into the modes, fashions, and customs of the world, in their dress, language, and manners, and truth own­ed our service with a degree of its divine authori­ty; blessed be the Lord, the God of Truth! We then went to a meeting at the house of John Cristy, at Ormston, to which many people came and be­haved quietly, and the doctrine of Truth opened pretty freely to them; from thence to a meeting at Edinburgh, in which I had a sense that silence was best, apprehending the people had been too much fed with words; after sometime one stood up, and spake of the excellence of resignation in ministers to speak, or contentedly to be silent; to be any­thing, or nothing, as the Lord was pleased to or­der; but a secret distressing fear attended my mind, that he was not enough inwardly engaged to distin­guish the order and motion of the Spirit of Truth, from the busy imagination and will of the creature, unsubjected to the Divine Spirit; and I found a concern to shew the nature of true resignation, and the low humble quiet that attended the minds of mi­nisters, or hearers, who had come to the real know­ledge of it; the desire of such was turned unto the Lord only for heavenly instruction, and an inward evidence of the life and motion of Truth; for want of which, true Gospel ministry was sometimes ob­structed, and the reason of silence not fully under­stood; after I sat down, the same person again stood up, and in a slow of words and a zealous tone, said, [Page 103] that weakness, or the want of experience, led peo­ple to mistake both their own and the condition of others; as he appeared to me to be actuated by a confident, ranting spirit, my mind was greatly ex­ercised after the meeting; I remained at this place the two following days, being detained by rainy weather, and attended the meeting in the morning of first day, at which I sat silent; but the same per­son spake sometime in words very encouraging to the auditory, as if all was well with them, which tended to increase the exercise of my mind, having a very different sense of the state of the meeting; I again attended their meeting in the afternoon, when the same person seemed as if he intended soon to stand up; but feeling the testimony of Truth strong against that forward ranting spirit, and the sense thereof being weighty upon me, I endeavoured to keep under it in patience, and soon the concern of that person began to diminish, and he to be drowsy, after which I had a favourable open time to clear my mind, of the exercise that had been upon me.

Next day we passed over the Frith about seven miles broad, landed at Kinghorn and rode to a town called Cowper, and the day following reached to the house of one who esteemed himself a friend, near Montross, where we endeavoured to have a meeting, but he would not allow it, alledging, that it would do his people or servants no good, and as for himself, he thought he knew as much of the Truth as we could inform him; and indeed he seemed so whole and self righteous, I thought it would not avail to say much to him. We were in­formed by a [...] who accompanied us a few miles, that [...], in his younger years, had a public testimony to bear for the Truth, but had for a long time left it off (as he worded it,) and now, his men servants must not approach him with their [Page 104] heads covered; If the Light in you become darkness, how great is that darkness. From hence we went to Ury, the seat of Robert Barclay, grandson to the Apologist; but had no meeting until we came to the Old-Town, near a mile north of Aberdeen, which, was through the goodness of the Lord, some­what strengthening; from thence went to John Elmslie's at Old-Meldrum, and on first day morn­ing attended Killmuck meeting, and in the evening one at Old-Meldrum, to which many people came, and, through Divine favour, these meetings were satisfactory; the next day we had a select meeting with friends, of whom there are several here, ten­der and valuable, and we parted in love; and go­ing to Kingswells had a meeting there with many friends and others, truth owning the service, which was cause of humble rejoicing: Continuing at and near Aberdeen, we had a large meeting on first day at Robert Barclay's. Altho' the descendants and children of friends who were as bright stars in their day, may value themselves on the worthiness of their parents; yet if they do not love and serve the God of their Fathers with a perfect heart and an upright mind, he will will not own them with his heavenly presence, but they will be as unsa­voury salt.

We then set forward on our return towards Eng­land, taking two meetings in our way to Glasgow, where, on first day, we had also two which were large, open and satisfactory, to which many tender inqui­ring people came, who behaved well, and in the evening of the same day, had another with those called friends by themselves, having a concern to lay before them the need they had [...] look to their ways and conversation, that they [...] be as lights and good examples among the people in that place, who were seekers after the Truth, and not give them occasion of stumbling through an evil con­duct: [Page 105] Then passing to Carlisle in Cumberland, Morehouse, Scoby, Solport and Kirklington, in most of which meetings truth seemed to be profes­sed, but too few had the life thereof in possession, which occasions hard dry meeetings. We rode to Cornwood in Northumberland, and lodged at the house of a man who had been for several years of a disorderly conduct, and much given to the exces­sive use of strong drink, until he had very much impaired his constitution, but it pleased the Lord to open his understanding, and make him acquainted with his blessed Truth, whereby he was made free from that evil, and received strength to forsake his old companions; but his joining with friends was a great grief to his wife, who informed me, that thro' prejudice for a time, she would rather he had continued his former course of living than to be­come a Quaker, until observing the sweetness of his temper and the recovery of his health in some degree, with a solid and sober conduct, she was reached, and made to believe in the power by which he had known such a victory, and joined herself in the same religious profession; they ap­peared to be steady friends: I would to God, that all tipplers and drunkards would turn to that great prophet which is in Israel, that they might by him be cleansed from that leprosy of sin! We had a comfortable meeting the next day in his house, with his neighbours and some friends; and on first day were at Allondale meeting, where are some solid friends, tho' others much tainted with a spirit of Ranterism, which is a confident, self righteous spirit and very hard to be won upon: After having a meeting at Aldstinmoor, we passed to the meet­ings at Penrith in Cumberland, Terril, and Strick­land which is in a corner of Westmoreland; it was with some difficulty we had the meeting at Terril, a man of that place saying, he thought it needless, [Page 106] or questioned whether it would be to advantage, as most of their members had been at Penrith meet­ing; but after the meeting he desired that I would not take it hard of him for endeavouring to discou­rage me, owning that he was mistaken; whereupon I cautioned him to be more careful in future, how he discouraged such who had come so many thou­sand miles to visit them. Having meetings at divers places in the week following, I travelled in great pain and anguish of mind, from a sense of the pre­valence of a dark, deistical spirit over many of the professors of truth, of which concern the Lord was pleased to give me strength and understanding to clear myself both in public and private; there is no power but his, that can enable his servants to do his work, and is over all the powers of satan. On the next first day we were at Holme meeting; in the forenoon I sat silent, one of the stock of the old Ranters was there and very troublesome, accus­ing many friends, no doubt falsely, and in the af­ternoon meeting I had not much to say, believing that old ranting spirit is rather fed with words and and delights in contention, but found it my place to exhort friends to retire deeply inward in all their meetings, humbly waiting to be admitted into the heavenly presence, to know their place of feeding to be out of the reach of such ranting spirits; for if they suffered their own spirits to rise or resent their ill usage, the meeting would be the more dis­quieted. Our next meetings were at Allonby and Broughton, from whence I went home with our friend Christopher Wilson to his house at Grayso­then, and the next day attended the burial of a young man at Pardsay Hall, and the day following the burial of a young woman at the same place, both of which meetings were very large and solid, and I hope thro' divine goodness profitable to ma­ny. The first day of the following week we were [Page 107] at two meetings at Whitehaven, in both which I had some service under the influence and owning of truth: We put up our horses at a friend's house who had been used to lodge public friends, but I was not free to tarry there, being burthened with his conduct in the manner of his entertainment, which was even to superfluity and grandeur, no way becoming the simplicity of truth; so after shewing my dislike therewith I went to the house of John Harris at Highfield, his wife being with us, and rested there a day, the weather being ex­ceeding rainy; then going to the meetings at Coc­kermouth, Isel, and Graysothen, we returned to Cockermouth and had a meeting with friends by themselves, that is, without giving public notice, which was thro' Divine favour to good satisfaction; resting another day with our friend John Harris, we went to meetings at Pardsay Hall, and at Kes­wick, at which last I was concerned to exhort the few friends there to keep up their week day meet­ing, having a fear they were very slack on that account; we lodged at an Inn, where we had the company of some of those friends, and in particu­lar one who was a public friend; some of them said, if he would attend the week day meeting, they believed the rest of them would; which gave me occasion to observe to him, that he did not ex­ample well, and ought to be more careful, as he had a public testimony to bear for Truth; he re­plied, that he was obliged to be industrious to sup­port his family; but at last confessed, that, "He did not like to sit with so few friends, for none else would come on a week day, and it was very dull and poor sitting, and he liked to sit in meetings where there were many assembled, for then he had something to say, so life did arise and all were com­forted and edified;" by which it appeared that he had greater satisfaction in preaching than in humble [Page 108] silent waiting to experience the worship which is performed in Spirit and Truth, to edification and comfort; I told him that I feared he was too much a stranger to pure religion and the nature of divine worship.

From thence we went to Hawkshead, in Lanca­shire, and had an evening meeting there in a friend's house, and next day were at the Hight meeting, and then at Swarthmoor where George Fox former­ly lived, tho' it had been famous for the prosperity of Truth, it is now at a low state there: We then went to Kendal in Westmoreland, where we attend­ed their two meetings on the first day of the week, and after taking some other meetings in the neigh­bourhood, returned to that town, in and about which we tarried several days, and visited more than twenty families and attended ten public meet­ings, many of which opportunities were made pre­cious through the goodness and great condescention of our Lord and Saviour; and in the school of our friend Thomas Rebanks I had an extraordinary meeting; where many young folks not of our soci­ety were reached by the power of Truth, which was comfortably over all, praised be the Lord for ever. In the course of our visiting families here, during our silent sitting in one of them, my mind was much taken up in thinking of a watch, and the several wheels and movements thereof, until I was grieved at such trifling thoughts, as I esteemed them, when suddenly there appeared something in­structive therein, and I had a freedom to say, the several parts thereof seemed to represent the excel­lent inward faculties and gifts bestowed on man, and that tho' the wheels, &c. of a watch were truly made, and placed in their proper order, there must be a main spring to give them motion, so the gifts and faculties of men must have their main spring and cause of motion to every good work, a zeal to [Page 109] the honour of the Lord their creator, and a fervent holy desire to answer the end of their creation; and as there is a regulating spring to a watch, so also there should be the true knowledge of God and of themselves experienced in his light, to preserve from going too fast, knowing by his heavenly in­struction, that no wisdom, zeal, strength, or abili­ty, will enable to do the Lord's work to his honour and the good of man, but that which God giveth; and in order that a watch may answer the end in­tended by [...] maker, there is a visible face and hands to discover the inward motion, thereby shew­ing time; so it is needful that a man should be a co-worker with the spirit and gift of grace in his in­ward part, that others beholding the light thereof might be taught to glorify God, and in his light so to number his days and walk in his fear, as to die in his favour: As a zeal for the cause of truth and a fear of falling short of duty, may at times prompt man to rush on too fast, it is needful that he should wait in humble reverence to feel the love of God, and the influence of that knowledge and wisdom which is from above, and experienced by those who are spiritual, that the end of all their labour may be in the spirit of meekness to restore those who are overtaken in error, and that men may ever dwell in that which gives ability to labour with success in the church of Christ, it is needful that their minds should be inclosed in the bosom of Truth, in humble retirement, to be preserved from the various tumults, cumbers, cares and temptati­ons of the world, which would otherwise clog their minds and deprive them of their true spiritual sense and motion, and so in a watch it is needful that all the inward parts, which are so curious, should be inclosed from damps, vapours, motes and dust, otherwise it would thereby be deprived of its moti­on and become useless for keeping time.

[Page 110]My intent in this relation is to shew the infinite condescention of him whose mercy is over all his works, to instruct the children of men, each as it were, in his own tongue, or language suitable to his understanding; the man being by trade a watchmaker, and seemed to be tenderly reached, and we parted in a degree of sweetness; it was the Lord's doing and marvellous to me, praised be his holy name for ever!

Being clear of Kendal, we took leave of friends in much affection and went to a general meeting at Brigflatts in Yorkshire, and to visit our friend Alice Alderson, who had been on a religious visit in our country with Margaret Cowpland, whom we had before seen at Kendal where she lives. Alice was glad to see us, and we found her tender in spirit and strong in her love to friends; after attending meetings at Ravonstonedale and Grisedale, we rode to our friend John Burton's, who with his compa­nion William Backhouse, had also been in our coun­try on a religious visit; we rejoiced to see him and were comforted by his grave conversation and con­duct: We then went to a meeting at Dent, which was large and savoured by the overshadowing of Truth in a good degree, in the loving kindness of our Lord who is worthy of all praise for ever! Then taking several meetings in Lancashire and tarrying two days with our friend William Backhouse, which was an acceptable rest to us, the weather being ve­ry cold, the ways bad and we weary, we came to Lancaster, and had an opportunity of visiting our friend Lydia Lancaster, who several years past had visited our country; her faculties of mind and love to friends appeared fresh and strong; from thence attending divers other meetings in that county, we went to our friend Samuel Fothergill's at Warring­ton, where we continued from the second to the fourteenth of the first month (New-stile) 1752, he [Page 111] and Susanna his wife being tender and kindly affec­tionate, we were refreshed in their company, hav­ing several meetings in that town and at Penketh, some whereof were made precious by the ownings of Truth. After many other meetings in this coun­ty and Yorkshire, we reached Richmond and had a meeting with friends there, and next morning set forward with a guide for Masham, in order to at­tend a meeting there, of which friends had previ­ous notice, the distance was near sixteen miles, the days short, and roads deep and miry; after we had rode five or six miles, I desired our guide to mend his pace, fearing we should be late; a little further we came to a place where the roads parted, and he taking the left hand I became uneasy, and asked him if he perfectly knew the way; he said, he thought he did, I let him know my being in doubt about it, and desired him to inquire of a man we saw in a field at some distance; but he rode on yet faster; when I told him that I was perswaded we had almost turned our backs on the way we should go, at which he smiled; when we had gone about a mile, seeing a man by the way side at work, I asked him if that was the way to Masham, he re­plied, nay, for you have left it and must go back unless your horses can leap over ditches very well, you may then save a mile, and pointing over a field shewed us a moor, on the other side whereof our right road was; our guide set forward, we followed with some difficulty over the ditches, and he rode on a gallop and soon left us; my mind inclined me to vary from his course and espying a gate, called to him, pointing to it and proceeded thither, on which he turned and came up, but said he believed we were wrong; I let him know that my mind was easy to go that way, and in a while we came into a road at a public house, which he knew to be right, so we just reached the meeting in time, which through [Page 112] Divine favour was profitable and edifying. I men­tion this passage with no other view than to encou­rage friends to be inward in their minds, and to regard the secret sense which the pure Spirit of Truth sometimes gives on particular occasions, for want of an inward stillness and attention thereunto, the way is often missed in more respects than one.

At Masham we lodged at the house of John Kel­den, who related to me something that passed be­tween a Knight of the Shire and one of his Tenants, a member of our religious society, in manner following, viz.

So John, you are busy?

Yes, my Landlord loves to see his Ten­ants busy.

But John where was you that you was not at your quarterly-meeting at York the other day, I saw most of your stanch friends there, but you I missed? ^*

Why thou knowest I have a curious Land­lord, who loves to see his Tenants thrive and pay their rent duly, and I had a good deal in hand that kept me at home.

Kept you at home! You will neither thrive nor pay the better for neglecting your duty, John.

Then I perceive my Landlord was at quar­terly-meeting, how didst thou like it?

Like it! I was at one meeting and saw what made my heart ach.

What was that?

Why the dress of your young folks, the men with their wigs, and young women with their finery, in imitation of fashions; and I thought I would try another meeting, so next day I went [Page 113] again, and then I concluded there was little differ­ence but the bare name, between us whom you call the world's people, and some of you; for you are imitating of us in the love and fashions of the world as fast as you can; so that I said in my heart, these people do want a Fox, a Penn, and a Barclay among them, and so turned from his Tenant.

I thought it would be a pity that the true and solid remark of this great man should be lost, understanding that it was rather expressed in pity than derision.

From Masham we proceeded to visit many other meetings in this county, in the course whereof we called to see good old John Richardson, who was strong in spirit tho' feeble in body, and nearly blind through age, being about eighty seven; and finding a draught to visit friends once more at Scar­borough, we were there on first day the fifteenth of the third month, and had peace in my own mind, having done what I thought was my duty; but from a sense of the prevalence of pride, which had occasioned a great poverty as to true religion among the professors of truth in that place, I left them with an aching heart, and went on our jour­ney in order to attend the quarterly-meeting at York, taking meetings in our way at Pickering, Thornton in the Clay, and Huby. The several sittings of this quarterly meeting were in the main satisfactory, but not having time fully to clear my­self, did not leave York quite easy; after which, having meetings at Clifforth, Leeds, Gildersham, Bradford, Rawden, Asquith, Fairfield, Keighley, Skipton and Lothersdale, we rode to Settle, and then to attend the quarterly meeting at Lancaster, which began on the fifth day of the week with a meeting of ministers and elders, and was comfortable; next day was the meeting for public worship and the discipline, wherein we were made to rejoice toge­ther [Page 114] and praise the name of the Lord who is wor­thy for ever, went home with our friend W ^m. Back­house, and so to Kendal quarterly-meeting, which was satisfactory and very large; then set out for the quarterly-meeting for Cumberland, held at Car­lisle, which began with a meeting of ministers and elders, next day were held two public meetings, and the day following a meeting for the discipline, which ended in the afternoon with another for wor­ship; and going home with Christopher Willson, we were at a good meeting at Pardsay Hall on first day.

My mind had been for sometime drawn towards Ireland, and being desirous to lose no time, we went to Whitehaven, several vessels being there nearly laden with coals for Dublin; but on viewing the ships accompanied by several friends from Gray­sothen, I had no freedom to take a passage in either of them, at which I was much straitened, and in­wardly turning my mind, Ireland was hid from my view, and going to the house of a friend we sat a while still, and I had freedom to let friends know that I had no prospect but the vessels might go their voyage with safety, and did not decline a passage on that account; but feeling a full stop in my mind, had no freedom to proceed any where at present, save to return with our friends John and Hannah Harris to Highfield; we therefore returned with them, and attended Pardsay Hall monthly-meeting, where I had freedom to propose that friends would enter on the service of visiting families; they in­formed me that some years before they had nomi­nated friends for that service, but meeting with some discouragement they had not performed it, and being about to turn over the book to see who were then appointed, considering it was a long time since, they concluded it was better to proceed to a new choice, but seemed at a stand about naming [Page 115] friends then; I had a singular freedom to let them know, that altho' I was a stranger, I could point out some who I believed would answer the service if they would submit to it: After a solid pause, a friend said, as our friend has the matter before him I am free that he should choose for us; to which I re­plied, that being a stranger to their members, one might be chosen who was under some impediment, and therefore it would be safer for the meeting to choose; but perceiving they were at a loss, I point­ed out a few friends in great fear, with a single eye to the sense which I did believe truth gave me, and the clerk took their names; a friend said he believed it was the truth which had made the chocie; I then mentioned, that if they could soon enter upon the service, I found a freedom to accompany them therein, if friends had unity therewith, which seve­ral expressed, some women friends being also named by their meeting to join in it; before the service was much proceeded in, a heavy concern came upon me from a secret sense I had, that one of them was under the censure of some, by which I feared her service would be laid waste, unless it could be removed, and altho' I had no intimation of any thing of the kind from any person, I became hea­vily exercised, and at length requested a friend to invite the man and his wife to dine with him, who I apprehended were uneasy with the woman, and I desired her and her husband to come to the same house in the afternoon, who accordingly came, thus the parties being met unexpectedly to each other, I was humbled under the weight attending my mind, and no others being present except the friend and his wife at whose house we were, I ventured to let them know the exercise I had been under some days, from an apprehension of a difference, or prejudice subsisting between them, which if not removed would devour like fire, by which I be­lieved [Page 116] they were, already much affected, but as I had not received information, more or less, I might be mistaken, and did not desire they should say any thing on the subject before me, but honestly confer on it between themselves first, and if it was so, re­move the cause, and if nothing was amiss then to let me know, that I might be warned to be more cautious in future; upon which I left them, and walked by myself about an hour, when the man of the house called me in, and they told me, that I was not mistaken, for that there had been an hard­ness subsisting for sometime, which they hoped was now done away; but when in the course of our visit, we came to the house of the friends who had been uneasy, I felt it as fresh as before, and told them I did believe they were not easy that the friend should go on in the service; to which one of them answered, if she judges herself to be clear and others are easy, I have no objection; whereupon I asked what others were meant; the man replied, her husband and relations; and as the matter rested upon me, it appeared that endeavours ought to be used for reconciliation before we could with satis­faction proceed on our visit, and believing that the Lord had secretly engaged me, I hoped he would accompany and bless the labour for the restoration of peace, which in a few days he was pleased to accomplish, and then we proceeded more cheerful­ly, and I think I may say that the Lord was with us, to the praise of his great eternal name, who is worthy for ever.

We visited the families of friends in Whitehaven, Broughton, Cockermouth, Pardsay Hall, Eagles­field and Graysothen, and others remote, and had several profitable public meetings in those towns and places adjacent; having spent about seven weeks within the verge of Pardsay Hall monthly meeting and finding my mind clear, we went to Whitehaven [Page 117] and took passage in the ship Globe, James Grason master for Ireland on the eighth of the sixth month (1752,) N. S. and parting with our dear friends in much love, set sail about the fifth hour in the even­ing, and landed at Dublin on the eleventh of the same month, and were kindly received at the house of Samuel Judd; as I was going to which, this secret hint was presented to my mind, "Live retir­ed, and be not suddenly acquainted with any man." After dinner our kind landlord said, I do not well in that I have not informed friends of your arrival, they will blame me; I answered, let us first know that we are here, we have just come from sea and are weary; for we had a troublesome passage by con­trary winds and heavy rains, John Pemberton my companion having been very sea sick, and myself a little so; the next day we attended Sycamore Alley meeting, where we had the company of Susanna Hatton, who had been in America with Ruth Courtney; we were at eight meetings in Dublin, al­so at a monthly-meeting, and a quarterly-meeting for their young people, in which I was deeply concern­ed under consideration of the prevalence of pride and the world's fashions, which was declared to them in the love of truth, and the Lord was pleased to favour several of the meetings by his heavenly pre­sence, to the praise of his holy name.

Leaving this city we went towards the North; at Drogheda there is a meeting house belonging to friends, but they are there so declined we could not have a meeting to satisfaction, we therefore went on to a meeting with a few friends at Rathfre­land in the county of Down, then to Monallen, where the meeting was comfortable, and on first day had two meetings at Lurgan in the county of Armagh, at which place pride and a worldly spirit much prevails; then taking meetings at Newton, Lisburn, Hillsborough, and Ballinderry in the county [Page 118] of Antrim, the last of which was a large good meeting; we had one at Antrim, where the savour of Truth seems much lost by the few professors there; we then passed on to the Grange meeting, which was very dull, through the prevalence of a worldly dark spirit, and from thence to a meeting at Ballynacre and so to Colerain, where we had a satisfactory opportunity with some of the town's people who came to the meeting out of curiosity; but I felt no freedom to express the sense I had of the state of friends then, and as the meeting broke up I stept to a young woman, a friend, who lived near the meeting house, and desired her to step for­ward and turn the few friends in there, as she knew them, and let the others go by, which she readily performed; when we were all set down round the room, it soon felt to me that if I delivered my con­cern in general terms, the intended end would not be answered, being in pain for their good, and close matters spoken might be taken by such to whom they least belonged, and being greatly hum­bled, I was desirous to be rightly instructed, (not knowing their names) to speak to them separately; the Lord who never fails those who humbly trust in him, shewed me where and with whom to begin, and so to the next, and mine eye being fixed on the person to whom I directed my speech, each knew what was delivered to them in particular, and I hope the opportunity was beneficial; for I had great peace: When the friends were gone I asked the young woman, who seemed in some surprize, what ailed her, she said that several were very exactly told their condition, and feared they would judge her for an informer; I told her she need not matter that, as she knew herself to be innocent. I menti­on this occurrence as a remarkable kindness from the merciful Lord to the children of men, for their help and instruction, and that his servants may be [Page 119] encouraged to wait upon him for instruction to dis­charge their duty as faithful stewards in his sight, who knows the secrets of all hearts, and taught his servant in old time to know the wife of Jero­boam, tho' she feigned herself to be another wo­man. Blessed, and magnified be his holy name who is over all worthy for ever and ever!

Then taking meetings at Toberhead, Charle­mont, and Ballyhagan, we attended the men's meeting at Lurgan, having a great desire to sit with friends there in the management of their discipline, which was adjourned to this time at my request; it began with a meeting for worship, men and women being generally together, at the conclusion of which, the men went into the room where the meeting for business was usually held, when after sitting sometime in silence, a leading friend said, "This is only an adjourned meeting, and bid the clerk enter it and they might adjourn to the usual time to do their business, when it would be more select;" and the meeting sitting a while without proceeding any way, I asked them what was meant by the words, more select, and further said, if any persons were present that had not a right to sit there, they should withdraw, they knew their own mem­bers; if they meant the friend who came with us, he was a neighbouring friend and an elder; and as for myself, I esteemed myself a proper member of their meeting, as I came to visit them with the con­currence of my brethren at home, and had certifi­cates from them, wherein I was recommended to friends in Europe and else where, and if I did any thing among them worthy of censure, I should sub­mit to their dealing, and therefore desired them to go on with their business, for I had come thither with a concern to see how the affairs of the church went on; so without more debate or much reply they proceeded, and to my surprize, things of dis­order [Page 120] had lain several years without proper dealing with various offenders, such as drinkers of healths, some that had been at cockfightings and races, and one or more marriages out of the order of truth; which gave me an opportunity to clear myself fully of the concern that had for some days lain with weight on my mind, which I believe was accepta­ble to some secretly pained friends, however con­trary to some others; so that I left the place with a peaceful mind, and thankful to the Lord who had given me an innocent boldness to assert my right of membership; for I believe if we had not been there, the meeting would have been thought select.

We then went to Ulster Province-meeting at Bal­lyhagan which held two days, the elders and other concerned friends here inquire into the state of things among their members in the province, and it was in the main a satisfactory meeting; from hence we went Southward, taking meetings at Castleshane, Coothill, Ballyhais, and Old Castle, and to Ballymurry in Connaught, having a meeting in a barn at Gailey with a few friends, it being the only one kept up in that provice, except at Athlone, which we likewise attended, and came to James Clibborn's at the Moat of Granoge, where we also had a meeting; altho' I had travelled every day for more than a week with a fever on me and had eaten little, occasioned as I thought by a cold taken by laying in damp beds, and was now very unwell, but sat the first day meeting; next day my illness became very violent, so that friends thought I should lay my body there, and sent for an apothecary who let me blood, which somewhat allayed the fever and I fell into a sleep, when I began to bleed again, which brought me very weak, that I was awakened at midnight with great drops of sweat on my face, and sickness; and calling my companion who watch­ed with me, we found that I had bled much, the [Page 121] orifice in my arm being very large and not carefully bound up; my kind landlord and his wife being anxious about me, had prevailed with the apothecary to lodge in the house, who being called to me, on his coming. I desired him to peel a bladder and ap­ply a thin piece of it about as broad as a half-penny on the wound; he asked for what; I told him he would see, and when it was applied I requested him to hold his finger on the piece over the orifice so as to stop the blood, until the plaister dried and stuck, which it soon did and it bled no more; he said that he had not seen the like. I mention this for the sake of others, for the bladder sticks as the blood under it dries, and will stop the bleeding of almost any wound. Next morning a graduate physician of the town came to visit me, and feeling my pulse, I asked him what he thought of me? He making no answer, I said be not afraid to tell me, for I am not afraid to hear; he replied, "that is happy for you," by which I supposed he thought I should not recover; he viewed my spittle and said I was in a deep consumption, and proposed my taking a vo­mit; I told him that I had not taken one many years, besides as he judged my lungs were inflam­ed, a moderate purge was better; at which he re­plied with an air of banter, "you are an odd pati­ent, come, you shall be physician and I will be apo­thecary;" I took him at his word and he sent me a purge which gave me some relief; he visited me daily for a week, and could hardly believe I should recover, tho' I told him I believed that I should, he still judged my cough to be consumptive, and at length told me, if I did recover to go home as soon as I could, for that the Lord was more merci­ful than to require such an one as I was to travel as I did, and that I had already acted as a mad man to travel so long time with that fever before I lay by; I asked him, if he was master of a vessel at sea [Page 122] which had sprang a leak that could not be stopped, what he would do? he replied, endeavour to make to the next port for a dry dock to unlade and search out the leak; why doctor said I, this is just my case, I saw no place to lay by until I came hither, at which he laughed, and wished me well; I think I never was reduced to so weak a state in so short a time, which might be occasioned by my great loss of blood; but the Lord was pleased to heal me, that I gathered strength to admiration, and on first day sat the meeting, which was comfortable, and continuing to recover tho' not fit to travel, I tarried until fourth day and attended their monthly meet­ing, and understanding they had been endeavour­ing to visit families, but were backward in begin­ning, I told friends that I had a freedom to accom­pany them in the work for a few days for their en­couragement, and we accordingly went with them to a few places to good satisfaction, and friends received strength to go on with the service. Then taking an affectionate leave of our kind landlord James Clibborn, and his wife who is grand-daughter to Robert Barclay the apologist, we went to meet­ings at Birr, Kilconnermoor, Cashell, Killcommon, Clonsmell, Youghall, and so to Cork on the first day of the week, where we also attended the men's meeting for discipline, and visited the women's meeting, which were both to some good satisfac­tion; then going to Bandon, we returned to an appointed meeting at Cork for parents and their children, and having strength given me to clear myself, it was, I hope profitable to many, being a large meeting; we then went to Malo, and had a seasonable opportunity with a family of friends, thence to the Province-meeting for Munster held at Limerick, the public and select sittings of which and for the discipline ended comfortably; and after attending the week day meeting, we went to a [Page 123] meeting at Ross, and returned to Limerick, and being unwell with a cold we tarried their meetings on first day, which were large and satisfactory, and in the evening had one with a sick friend; being clear, and taking three meetings in our way, we proceeded to Leinster Province-meeting at Mountmelick, which began on the sixth day of the week with a meeting of ministers, the next day for worship and the discipline, and on first day morn­ing was a large and precious meeting, in the after­noon the town's people came in and it was a good satisfactory meeting, tho' not so large, friends be­ing mostly gone home. We had a meeting next day at Tullamoor, and returning to Mountmelic had a satisfactory one with the children in the school of James Gough; after the week day meeting in this town we went to Ballacarrol, Ballanakel and Cooperhill, having a meeting at each; then to Catherlough monthly meeting on first day, and the next day to Athy, then to Ballitore which was through Divine Goodness attending, made profita­ble, and we had also a satisfactory meeting with the scholars in Abraham Shackleton's school; after a meeting at Newton we went to Samuel Watson's at Killconner, whose wife (late Abigail Bowles) had been on a religious visit in America several years past, she was now near her end, but sensible and in a good frame of spirit, and greatly rejoiced to see us, and we were mutually comforted in a sense of the Lord's presence, for which his holy name was praised; after a meeting here and another at Cather­lough we went to Waterford, and sat with friends in their morning, afternoon, and evening meetings on the first day, in all which having cleared my­self honestly, my spirit mourned under a sense of formality among the people, and a deadness to the pure inward life of religion; then taking meetings at Ross, Lambstown, Wexford, Randals-mills or [Page 124] Castlesaw, Cooladine, and several other places we came to Wicklow, at which meeting many soldiers attended who behaved well, and truth owned the service in a good degree. I have observed where the soldiers came into our meetings, they were an awe to the rabble and loose people, who are sometimes apt to be rude; from hence we went to Dublin in order to attend the national half-years-meeting, and were kindly received by our old landlord Samuel Judd and his family.

Leinster Province-meeting began on second day the sixth of the eleventh month, both for worship and discipline, and on third day the national meet­ing, which held four days; the several sittings there­of being in general attended with a sense of Divine Goodness, and the testimony of Truth ran strong against hypocrisy, covetousness, libertinism, and pride among the professors thereof; but in a conso­latory stream to the humble and contrite children of the family, in a thankful sense whereof the name of the Lord was praised, who is worthy for ever and ever! We tarried a few days longer with friends in Dublin, and then went to meetings at Baltiboys, Timahoe, Rathangan, and Edenderry, and a religious sitting in John Pim's family at Nurney, then returning to Edenderry attended their monthly-meeting, where having a concern to visit some families of friends, we went to most of them in that town and to the house of a widow in the country, where we had a good opportunity with her and her children; I asked the friend who ac­companied us, whether there was any other friend's house to which we had not been; he said he thought not; but my mind had a draught to some house and I pointed toward it, he then said he believed he knew where; so we went to the place, and the family being called together, I inquired whether there was not another belonging to the house, and was told [Page 125] there was; as soon as he came, I knew it was the man whom my mind was concerned to visit, and something I had to express reached and tendered him very much, he being exceeding wild and fashi­onable and did not love to attend religious meet­ings, but truth now reached him; on the first day following I saw him at Edenderry meeting, where the visitation seemed to be renewed to him; I af­terwards heard that he continued to be sober and thoughtful, and I was thankful to the Lord that he was pleased to condescend in mercy to gather the out­cast of Israel. Being clear of this place, I returned to Dublin, and having a concern on my mind to visit the families of some who made profession of truth but were disorderly in their conduct, we began that service, being accompanied by several friends, and the Lord was pleased to own the work. During our stay we were careful to attend all the meetings in this city for worship and discipline, one of which was a quarterly-meeting for the youth, in which many were tendered by the love of God, through Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour. We vi­sited about sixty families, in most whereof the Lord was pleased to favour with authority to set the testi­mony of truth over the heads of the corrupt, dis­orderly professors, and to influence with under­standing to divide the word and counsel of truth to the different states of those we visited; in an hum­ble sense whereof, let my soul obey and adore him who is alone worthy for ever!

As I apprehended the women's meeting to be slack of doing their part of duty as true helps in the exercise of the discipline, and a proper care over the flock and family of the Lord, a weighty concern attended me to express in writing my sense of what was the proper business belonging to wo­men's meetings, which I shewed to the men friends, and had their concurrence to lay it before the wo­men's [Page 126] meeting in order for their encouragement and practice in the wisdom of Truth, and it was afterwards sent to the women's meetings through­out the nation.

The vessel in which we came to Ireland being ready to sail, and the master desirous of our com­pany to return with him, I felt so clear and easy that I intended to go; but when he sent us word to come on board, I was more inclined to stay that day, and went to meeting, being first day, and he sailed; but meeting with contrary winds and dark weather, was obliged to put back into Dublin har­bour after about a week's fatigue; my being with­held from embarking, I thought was a remarka­ble kindness and favour from my great and good Master; praised be his name! we had afterwards several good meetings, in some of which it became my concern to recommend silence by example, of which they stood in much need; and on the twenty-third of the first month (1753,) after having tra­velled in Ireland thirteen hundred and fifteen miles, and had one hundred and thirty-four meetings, be­sides many family visits, feeling my mind to be fully clear, we went on board a ship of Whitehaven, Allen Wilson master, having in much love taken leave of our friends; and after a short, but stormy rough passage of about twenty-three hours, arrived at Whitehaven with hearts humbly thankful to the Lord who had preserved us; the master saying, that he had not known the like for twelve years, altho' he had sailed between the two ports very constantly. Next day after our arrival, our friend John Harris of Highfield, with whom we had left our horses, brought them to us and we went home with him, and visiting the meetings in the neigh­bourhood, several of which, particularly the last at Pardsay Hall, were large and precious opportu­nities, and I thought I could perceive that my for­mer [Page 127] painful labours among them had been blessed, for which I was truly thankful to the holy head of the church and master of the assemblies of his peo­ple. From thence we went to Lortonhall and had an evening meeting with the people of the town, to which came the priest and most of his hearers, and altho' the craft and conduct of the hirelings were much set forth, all was quiet and it ended well.

From thence we went to Kendal and staying a general meeting there, proceeded to divers others in Yorkshire, and Lancashire, and to one we had appointed at Coln, where are no members of our society, and tho' a poor dark town in respect to re­ligion, the people behaved soberly, and many were tendered by the gentle, yet powerful reaches of Heavenly goodness; and I may say, that in riding through some towns in England where no friend dwelt, I felt a secret salutation of love to the inha­bitants, tho' as a seed yet ungathered; but my present business in general was to the children of the family, that when it shall please the Lord to open the eyes of others to behold Zion, no stumbling block might appear to offend the beholders, or dim her heavenly beauty.

From hence passing to Halifax we had a large open meeting there, and divers others in Yorkshire, until we came to our friend John Haslam's at Hans­worth-Woodhouse, then to Sheffield, where we vi­sited some families to our satisfaction, and after at­tending two meetings in Derbyshire returned to J. Haslam's, and again to Sheffield, and sat their morn­ing meeting on first day, and in the afternoon at­tended the burial of Ellen Atwick, a friend of good repute, to which many people came and I had a favourable opportunity; being then clear, I went to Blythe in Nottinghamshire and had a meeting, and several in other towns this week, and reached [Page 128] Rawcliff in Yorkshire on first day; on the night before I had a dream which much affected me; "I thought I heard a kind of melody and singing at my left hand, whereupon I said, What do ye rejoice at; which continuing I said, your singing is somewhat like David's rejoicing before the ark, but I see it not, and heard a voice on my right saying, the ark is in the land of the Philistines, where it was taken through the wickedness of the priests and sins of the people, who removed the ark from Shi­loh to strengthen them in battle;" whereupon I awoke and was under some exercise for a time, concluding it was ominous, but saw no further, until we went to meeting in the forenoon, where I soon heard a kind of tuneful sighing, which kept increasing, and turning my head to discover from whence it came, found it to be at my left hand; after a while a person stood up and spoke a few sentences of extraordinary enjoyments which were to be felt; my mind was pained, and after he sat down I stood up and said, What are ye doing? and what do you feel to occasion this rejoicing? and should have pro­ceeded to have told them my thoughts, but instant­ly my dream came into my mind, and so with little addition sat down very sorrowful; after the meeting I went to dinner, but could not eat much or be chearful; at the afternoon meeting we had the same tune until my spirit was afflicted; but labouring to know that quiet which is not easily disturbed, I re­ceived strength in a loving frame of mind to inform them, that I feared they were mistaken in their states and conditions, for that death reigned, and it was rather a time of mourning: And as truth arose in some good degree, that floating formal sea became dried up; and in the evening having the company of the chief singer among them, I had a singular freedom simply to relate my dream to him, with a desire that he might examine whether the [Page 129] ark enclosing the pure testimony was preserved safe amongst them; which shut up further conversation. In a few days after, an intimate friend asked me how I fared there, I repeated to him my dream, and he told me it was very significant, for that a withering had taken place in that meeting, and that person had several children who were married to such that did not profess with us, and being treated with as a parent, he said it might be a means of increasing the meeting, if those they had married came to meeting with them, and discouraged friends from dealing with them, lest it should prevent them.

Then taking a meeting at Selby, we proceeded to the quarterly-meeting at York, which continued two days, and was a good meeting; here we met my brother W ^m. Brown to our mutual comfort af­ter a separation of nineteen months; we soon parted again, he going towads Lancaster and we to several meetings in Yorkshire and some in Lincolnshire; in some places I observed the form to remain and life to be wanting, and in others the professors of truth are too generally declined from both; true life gives birth to a true form; but the mere form will never produce the life of Truth. From hence we went to Retford and Mansfield, in Nottingham­shire, and at the last town had two meetings, one of which was with friends by themselves; for it did not always appear convenient to deliver too public­ly, those things which tended to the reproof of some disorderly walkers in the family, lest it should rather harden than restore and heal, especially where their conduct did not occasion open reproach; then taking a meeting at Broughton we went to Notting­ham, and had three meetings there on first day, and the next at Oxham with a few friends who were glad thereof, being sometimes missed by tra­vellers; the day following we had an appointed meeting at Nottingham to satisfaction; in this place [Page 130] they are troubled with some ranters, who force themselves into meetings for discipline: Friends were exhorted to keep up the testimony of Truth in the meek humble spirit thereof, in which its do­minion will stand for ever; we then spent some time in visiting many meetings in Leicestershire, taking one at Oakham in Rutlandshire, where some inno­cent friends live, and I think it is the only meeting of friends in that county; at Boswellstreet we had a meeting with some who had been lately con­vinced, but had not yet known a true establishment in humbly waiting for the power of Truth, to give a solid growth in pure religion; the same evening we had a meeting at Coventry to good satisfaction; and the week following came to Dudley in Worces­tershire, where we lodged at James Payton's, whose sister Catharine was preparing to go on a religious visit to America; staying the meeting on first day in Dudley, we went to divers others in this county and Warwickshire, and came to Eaden in Nor­thamptonshire, at which meeting many people came, some of whom were very unruly, but the power of Truth prevailing, it ended quietly, praised be the Lord who is allsufficient for his own work! visiting several other meetings in this county, at one of them held in an evening at Chipping-Norton there where many tender young people, to whom I felt a salutation in the love of Truth; but before I thought it safe for me to stand up, a young man not much like a friend stood up, and began to exhort them to be faithful in discharging whatsoever the Lord required of them, and how eminently he would be with, and qualify them for his work, as tho' they were all appointed to enter upon some extraordi­nary great service; at which my mind was much grieved, for I thought it would be more suitable for them deeply to retire and wait for the virtue of Truth and sap of life, to experience a growth [Page 131] in grace and the knowledge of God, that they might be prepared to work out their own salvati­on; to expect a young tree to produce abundance of fruit before the branches are come forth and spread with strength to bear it, is not reasonable; the words "sit down," passed through my mind for some time, and at length I spoke them so as for him to hear, which I perceived by a small stop he made; but going on again, I said prithee friend sit down, which he did, but I felt that my saying so, surprized the people and perhaps offended some, and that it would be in vain to deliver what was on my mind, so expressing a few sentences only, I sat down very sorrowful, and the meeting ended; I was informed by a friend at our lodgings that he was one lately come from the Methodists, which I before apprehended by his appearance; on going to bed I was much concerned lest it should hurt him, and deeply sought to know whether I had not spoken to him in a selfish spirit, because he had taken the time of the meeting appointed on my account, and feeling love towards him, I prayed in spirit that the Lord would be pleased to preserve him from harm thereby, and that if I had done wrong, I might be made sensible of rebuke for my future instruction; when in great calmness I under­stood that it would not hurt him, so I went into a quiet sleep; after a meeting the next day at Sib­bard, a woman friend who was at the meeting the evening before, desired me to send by her a mes­sage, or write to the young man, for she was fear­ful he would go beside himself; I told her that when I spake to him I thought myself right, and knew what I was about; but now I could not see what to do at present, and to act by her direction was dangerous, so we parted and in about a week after, a friend let me know that there was no danger of his receiving hurt, but hoped he would be bene­fited.

[Page 132]From hence, taking a few meetings on our way, we arrived at London on the seventh of the sixth month, and next day attended Grace Church Street meeting, and in the following week the yearly-meeting, which was comfortable and solid, divers weighty matters being therein proposed for conside­ration from several of the counties, which centred rather to benefit, tho' in the management of the affairs, there appeared in some, a disposition to op­pose what they thought to be new, notwithstanding the same things appeared very expedient to others, who from their prospect thereof, might urge their sentiments rather too strongly; a prospect of the Lord's servants truly disciplined, armed and quali­fied for his work, and of such who equip, arm and arrange themselves, and move by their own direc­tion, was presented to my view in a dream one night during the time of this meeting; "I thought I beheld two armies set in array against each other, one of them well armed with swords and muskets; the other had no formal weapons for their defence; but a charge given them by their general to keep their ranks, and gently to march directly forward as he should lead, no man reaching forth his own hand to defend himself; they joined in battle, and when one of the unarmed soldiers was borne hard upon by his opponent, he reached forth his hand at arms length, when a sword took off one of his fingers, and the blood sprinkled on several of his fellow soldiers; whereupon knowing the orders given, I cried out, if that hand had not been so stretched out, this wound would not have been re­ceived, and so I awakened." And on the morrow was fully convinced that in transacting the affairs of Truth, the honour of God should be our only view, with a single eye to his direction, and self made of no reputation, which will be a shield against all reflections and personal censures; for it [Page 133] so happened, that a valuable zealous friend being strongly reflected on as being a prejudiced party, and being a little warmed thereby, made an over-hasty, and perhaps too warm a reply, which is apt to stir up warmth in those who depend on no other guard than their own armour, and with their own strength use a selfish weapon; by this unguarded reply, the friend brought a reproof on himself and some others, that were united in the cause of truth; the victory belongs to the Lamb for ever, who when he was spit upon and reviled, did not again revile.

After staying in London and attending the Peel-meeting on first day, and the meeting of ministers and elders on second day morning, we went to Chelmsford and rested a day or two with our friend John Griffith, attended their week day meeting and a general meeting at Easterfordkelvedon, and proceeded to the yearly-meeting at Colchester, which held three days and was a time of Divine favour; then going to Ipswich and to a monthly-meeting at Woodbridge, we there continued on first day, and on the next began their yearly-meet­ing, which held until the fourth day of the week, in all eight sittings, some whereof were large and very good. No praise to him that willeth, or to him that runneth, but to the Lord alone that shew­eth mercy; and there being a marriage at the meet­ing on fifth day, I had an open time, wherein I had to set forth, that as man in the begining was taken from the earth or clay by the hand of the Lord, and a life breathed into him different from the earth, by which he became a living soul, and stood in the image and liberty of his Creator, but falling from the heavenly image and liberty therein through transgression, is now of the earth, earthly in his love and liberty, so he must now be separated from the earthly low estate which stands in the transgres­sion [Page 134] and death, by the Regenerating Word of Pow­er, and transformed by the renewing of his mind, will and affections, and placing them on heavenly objects; for as the potter separateth the clay from the other earth, and tempers it by itself before he formeth and maketh a vessel thereof, so must man by the operation of the Heavenly hand, be tempered, wrought, prepared, and thereby freed from his own stubborn will, and made submissive to the Heavenly Will, that he may not be marred on the wheel, but bear the turning of the heavenly hand until he be formed a vessel to honour; but if the will of man does not become subject, but stands in rebellion, the Lord who said, my spirit shall not always strive with man, hath power over the clay to reject that which will not be wrought into a vessel for honour, and suffer it to be marred in its own stubborn will; and when an earthly potter hath formed a vessel for use, he carefully setteth it aside, until it be prepared to bear a further operation, to harden and glaze it for the use for which it is made; if man should put even water into an earthen vessel formed for that use, before it is hardened and prepared by fire, he would both mar the vessel, and expose that which was put therein; let not such therefore who have known the heavenly hand of power so to prepare them, that they are willing to be whatsoever the Lord should make of them, marvel if the Lord should be pleased to set them by a while for the trial of their faith; if the earthly potters vessel should crack in drying, it would be marred, so if these vessels of the Heavenly Potter keep not the word of his patience in this their drying season, to prepare them for the operation of the Heavenly fire and furnace, in which the Lord will sanctify and fit his vessels for the use of his holy sanctuary, they will also be marred; but otherwise they will come forth vessels to honour in his house, &c.

[Page 135]I thought this was a remarkable good meeting, the praise thereof belongs to the Lord alone. We had also a select meeting with friends, and visited several families in the town to satisfaction, truth owning us together, and after a good opportunity at a friend's house in the country on our way, we went to Norwich and attended their meetings on first day, the yearly-meeting began the next, and ended on fourth day after seven settings generally large and satisfactory, through the overshadowing of Divine Goodness: I continued in this city seve­ral days after, visiting of families and steadily at­tending their meetings, and had some open satis­factory opportunities. My way now opening for Holland we went to Yarmouth, several friends ac­companying us, and on the twenty-sixth of the se­venth month embarked on board the ship Three Brothers, Richard Smith master, my companion John Pemberton being willing to continue with me.

On the first day of the week following, we land­ed at Rotterdam and lodged at an inn; next morn­ing feeling my mind drawn forward, we went in a stage waggon to Turgow, and from thence in the tract-skute to Amsterdam in the evening, the Metropolis of South Holland, and were conduct­ed to friends meeting-house at the Three-hooks in Princes-street, in which Michael Laars and his sister lived, and were kindly received and rested the next day.

I found a concern to visit the families of friends in this city, in which service we spent most of the week to our satisfaction, John Vanderwarf jun ^r. being interpreter; we also attended their week day meeting, in which Peter Linders was interpreter. On first day following the meeting in the morning was pretty large, and many people came to that in the afternoon, some of whom behaved rudely; but Truth came over, and they were stilled, and seemed [Page 136] to depart satisfied; we continued here until their week day meeting again, which many not of our society attended, and it was to general satisfaction; I then felt my mind drawn towards North Holland, and taking passage in the tract-skute passed through several towns and arrived at the city of Hoorn, where we were met by our friend Cort Hendricks, who took us in his waggon to his house at Twisk, in North Holland the same night, being accounted eighteen miles from Amsterdam to Hoorn by water, and from thence to Twisk by land six miles; here also finding the like concern, we visited the families of friends, and had a meeting with them in the evening together; next day we went to Abbey Kirk, a village about two miles distant, where about five or six families of friends live, whom we visited also; the friends in general seemed to receive our visits kindly, except one family, where I was con­cerned to speak of, and open that saying of our dear Lord, Except your righteousness exceed the right­eousness of the Scribes, and Pharisees, &c. for I was much burthened under a sense of a self-righteous, whole, exalted spirit, and in opening that passage, was also led to speak of the Parable of the Pharisee and Publican who went up into the temple to pray, which probably touched the heads of that family, and I felt a strong opposition in them, and per­ceived the passage was not pleasing to our interpre­ter, I could not shake off my burden, yet was pre­served quiet in my mind, having honestly done my part, and so returned to Twisk, where the meeting was held for both villages, and on first day morn­ing the meeting was pretty large, friends being generally there; but our interpreter had most of the time, so that he was too overspent to interpret much for me; several not professing with us attended in the afternoon, and I had a satisfactory time with them early in the meeting, when an awful sense of [Page 137] truth seemed to be over us, after which our inter­preter had something further to say; I have often lamented the increase of words, and a repetition of former experiences without the renewing of life, which disposition seems to prevail in too many, to the burdening of sensible members in our society.

As we sat this evening in a friends house at Twisk two elderly women came in, professors of truth but very talkative: I had seen them several times before, and as often been burdened with them, and now had something in particular to speak; but feared that such plain dealing would be too strong for our interpreter, who appeared to be very sociable with them; therefore I delivered my mind without sin­gling them out, several others being present; these women took it to themselves, but not in such a dis­position as I desired, being disturbed, and follow­ing us to our lodgings made their complaint to our interpreter, bidding him ask me if I took them to be such persons as I had described; if so, they de­sired to know what I had to accuse them with? at first it put me to a stand, but being still, I soon thought it was providential, that they thus gave me an opportunity to clear myself of the burden I had borne on their account, and told them, that to enter into particular charges was not my busi­ness, but was free to let them know that I had been in pain on their account from the first time I saw them, and that if I had a true sense of their states, they were not such as they ought to be, but had lost the favour of what they professed to enjoy, and could so freely talk of, "and told one of them that I took her to be dark and ignorant of her own state; and the other, that she was too light and chaffy in her spirit, and that they both wanted the true cloathing of the Lord's children, which is humility of heart and reverence of spirit, which would season all their conversation and conduct, [Page 138] that they would not be stumbling blocks to their neighbours, as I feared they were: I also told them, that I believed when I spake as I did at the friend's house it belonged to them, in which I was now confirmed, for had they been sincere hearted, they would have borne it without flinching; but now they had shewn that their sore places were touched, and I dared not to lessen the weight of what was then said, but desired them to receive and ponder it well; for I was sure it was delivered in love, and believed it to be a visitation to them in their old age." Which being interpreted to them, they spake something to the interpreter which I did not under­stand; then one of them said, she had yet love in her heart for me: I told her that I had nothing but good will towards her, and so they went away.

After which, the interpreter told me, he had known these women many years; that I had a true sense of them, and he had delivered my words ho­nestly, and hoped they would do them good.

We next had a meeting with friends of Twisk by themselves in a private house, in which we were favoured with the savour of truth, the sincere heart­ed being refreshed, and the disorderly warned to be more careful.

After taking some refreshment, we hasted to attend another meeting appointed for us at Abby-Kirk in the afternoon, which was held in the same house where I felt the opposition before mentioned: I soon was sensible of some matter in my mind to divide to the people; first to a low afflicted state, and things opened pretty clear, and were interpret­ed readily; but proceeding to the other states, I felt the current obstructed, and the force of my sentences evaded, and had a sense that the minds of the friends of that house were shut up against what I had to deliver, so I forbore going on, and the interpreter soon began and continued to speak [Page 139] near an hour; when he had done, I felt a great weight on my mind, and desired him to interpret a few sentences for me, he did not seem very free, saying, "let it be short then," the substance was, "That I had come in love to see them, and was in no way prepossessed or informed concerning any person or case among them; yet found they were shut up against what I had to deliver; nevertheless I could not be easy without letting them know, that I did believe, unless they humbled themselves, and were stripped from that self-righteous wholeness, wherewith they had cloathed themselves, they never would grow in the life of true religion; but would be as stumbling blocks to the sincere hearted among them," so I went out of the house and re­turned to our lodging, not having freedom to stay there longer. Our interpreter who tarried with them after we were gone, told me that they judged a certain friend who had been in Holland sometime before and spoken very closely to them, had inform­ed me concerning them, and I thought the inter­preter also favoured that sentiment, which made me not to wonder at the opposition I had felt both in him and them; whereupon I told him, that un­til that time I never knew that the friend whom they thus judged had been there, and that I had never heard of their names, nor the name of the town until I came with him, and desired him to give it in charge to a friend of Twisk who was pre­sent with us, to let those friends know from me, what I then said of my innocency.

Feeling myself now pretty easy respecting that place we returned towards Amsterdam, accompani­ed by two friends to Hoorn, where no friends now live, tho' formerly there were, and sometimes meetings have been held there; and I had some thoughts of having one; but being under discou­ragement, had almost concluded to proceed on our [Page 140] way; but in walking through the city to the skute, which was to set off for Amsterdam in a few mi­nutes, I felt my mind affected with a sense that my great and good master was near, and desired with earnest breathings to know his will, and if he would be pleased to be with me, I was willing to do the same, as he should require and enable me; I then felt such a stream of love towards the inha­bitants, that I was convinced there was a visitation to them, as tho' the Lord would in his own time gather a people there; as yet I had not disclosed my mind to any one, although I felt a draught back; when seeing a young man in the street, I desired the interpreter to ask him if he thought we could have a meeting in that town, to which he rea­dily answered that he believed we might, and tak­ing hold of my baggage said, if we would please to return to his house, he would endeavour to procure a place and acquaint the people, which he very punctually, and with great speed performed, and we met about four in the afternoon at the house of Cornelius Olyslager, and had a good opportunity with a tender friendly people, several of whom were reached and tendered by the virtue and savour of truth, which spread freely; for which the giver of all good was reverently praised, who is worthy for ever. The people departed in much love, and we returned to the young man's house, where we were affectionately entertained that night; we should have been glad to have conversed with the people, but could not understand their language, yet had a sense that they were satisfied with the meeting.

Being accompanied by this kind young man Dirk Meschaert, our landlord, to the track-skute, we took leave with tears on each side, and arriving at Am­sterdam, we sat with friends that afternoon in their week day meeting to satisfaction, having travelled in North Holland about seventy four miles by [Page 141] boat and waggon, we then visited the remainder of friends families in this city, and were comforted therein, the Lord being pleased to own our labour, and I pray it may be blessed to them; on first day morning we had a large solid meeting, at which were several strangers, particularly two young men, Italians, supposed to be princes, who behaved well, also many of the citizens who had never been at a friend's meeting before. The afternoon meeting was also large, but some of the lower sort who came to gaze out of curiosity, behaved rude, yet it ended better than I expected; there seemed to be an openness in many to hear the testimony and principle of Truth declared; but it is a dull way to speak by an imperfect interpreter.

On the twenty-second of the eighth month was held what they call their yearly meeting, which was attended by several not of our society; but it has little more than the name of a yearly-meeting, the discipline of truth being much lost.

Feeling some concern still to continue on my mind towards the friends at Abby-Kirk where I was sensible of the opposition before hinted, I had free­dom to write them a letter; but on considering that the friend and his wife to whom I wrote were per­sons of note, I was fearful that their resentment might hurt some others, and having a tender con­cern towards the sincere hearted, it was with me to prepare the way by writing an Epistle to friends of the meeting at Twisk, to which those of Abby-Kirk do also belong, both which I got a friend of Am­sterdam to translate; that to the meeting I sent im­mediately that it might be read on a first day, and directed the other to be sent soon after.

That to Friends at Twisk was as follows.

A Copy of my Letter to the Friend and his Wife here follows.

[Page 145]We continued with friends in this city and at­tended their two meetings on first day, and in the evening had an opportunity with several to satisfac­tion, for our love rather increased; next morning feeling my mind clear of friends in Holland, I was easy to return towards England, and accompanied by several to the skute we took leave and went to Turgow by water, from thence by waggon to Rot­terdam, in all about forty-two miles, there are no members of our society left in this city; we went to see the meeting house and had some thoughts of having a meeting; but being the time of a great fair, which occasioned a concourse of rude people, there was no prospect of having one to advantage.

John Vanderwaarf jun ^r. came with us to Rot­terdam, with whom we parted in much love early on fourth day morning the twenty-ninth of the eighth month, and went on board the same ship which brought us hither, it having made a voyage to England and back since; we sailed with a fair wind down the Maze to the Briell before noon, when it becoming contrary, we lay at anchor until first day morning, then proceeding, we passed over the dangerous sands and so to sea, and arrived at Yarmouth about one the next day, and had a meet­ing with friends the same evening.

In this journey to Holland, we travelled by sea and land about five hundred miles.

From Yarmouth we went in a chaise to Norwich, where friends were rejoiced to see us, and we were thankful for our safe return, and being concerned to spend some more time among them in this city, we visited a few families and attended their month­ly-meeting, also their two meetings on first day, which were dull and heavy; the minds of the peo­ple being too much outward, I found it my place to recommend silence by example more than by words, in both those meetings.

[Page 146]Next day in company with other friends I went to visit Hannah Lucas, a school mistress, who was newly convinced; she was in a low state of mind; our visit was to mutual satisfaction, being comforted together.

At their week day meeting on third day, I had a seasonable time to discharge my mind towards friends in that city, in which I was led to deal plain­ly with them: They are a loving people to strangers and each other; but there is a want of weightiness of spirit, and of a proper care in the exercise of the discipline of the church.

Before my going to Holland I was at the shop of a barber in this city several times to be shaved; the second time I was there, I had to wait a while for my turn, he having no assistant; and when others were gone out he told me, he was sorry I had to wait and hoped he should have my custom, and that if I would come on Saturdays and Wednesdays in the forenoon I need not wait; but in the afternoon others came; I asked him what days of the week those were which he called Saturday, and Wednes­day? he seemed to wonder at my ignorance, but knew not how to tell me otherwise; I said, I do not read in the Scripures of any days so named; he replied, that is true; for what reason then, said I, dost thou call them so; because it is a common cus­tom, said he; suppose then, said I, that we lived in a heathen country among infidels who worship­ped Idols, should we follow their customs because common? he replied, by no means; I then said, If I have understood rightly, the Heathens gave the days of the week those names: I never heard that before, said he, pray for what reason? I answered they worshipped the Sun on the first day of the week and named it after their idol, Sunday; the Moon on the second day of the week, so came [Page 147] monday, and the other days after other idols, for they had many gods; third day they called tuesday after their idol Tuisco; and after the idol Woden, fourth day they called wednesday, and fifth day after their Idol Thor they called thursday; from Friga, friday; and after Saturn they called the seventh day, saturday; and as I believe in the only true God and Jesus Christ whom he hath sent, and expect Eternal Life by no other name or power, I dare not for conscience sake own the gods of the Heathen, or name a day after them; but choose the names which the days were called by, when the most high performed his several works of crea­tion, viz. first, second, third, and so on, which is scriptural, most plain and easily understood.

He seemed some what affected with the informa­tion, and I desired him to inquire into the matter for himself, and not to think that I designed to im­pose upon him; the next time of my going to his shop, he shewed me some papers whereon he had began to learn Algebra, and asked me how I liked it; I said it might be useful to some, but that I could take up grubbing or follow the plough with­out studying Algebra, as he might also shave a man, &c. without it; besides I found it a more profita­ble and delightful study to be quietly employed in learning the law of the Lord written in mine own heart, so that I might walk before him acceptably.

On my return from Holland to Norwich, a man ran to me in the street putting a paper into my hand, and immediately left me, whom I soon found to be this barber; the letter contained an innocent child like acknowledgment to me for my freedom with him, as is before mentioned in language rather too much shewing his value for me as an instru­ment; and believing him to be reached by the love of Truth, and in measure convinced of the princi­ple [Page 148] thereof, I thought it best to leave him in the Lord's hand for further instruction, to learn by the immediate teachings of the Holy Spirit, that his love might be centred on the true beloved of Souls; for want whereof many are hurt, looking outward and growing in head knowledge, seeking the esteem and friendship of men, from whom we are to cease, his breath and life being stopped at the Lord's command.

I mention this passage with a view to stir up my friends of the same holy profession, to let their language in words be the real language of Truth to all men, in purity of Spirit, and not to name the days of the week or months after the heathen­ish idolatrous customs, saying for excuse, that they to whom they speak do best understand them, and it saves them any further explanation, which ex­cuse is far from proceeding from a disposition apt to teach, and letting the Light of Truth shine as they ought. Neither do men, said our blessed instructor, light a candle and put it under a bushel; but on a candlestick, and it giveth light to all that are in the house, Mat. v. 21. Nor doth the Lord enlighten his candle, that is the spirit of man, with the pure knowledge of Truth, that we should cover it, either with an easeful disposition to save ourselves trouble, or hide the work thereof under the covering bushel of worldly saving care, after the gain and treasure of this world; but that it may stand on the candle­stick, and thereby crown those who are thus fa­voured with the holy Light, that as a city set on an hill they cannot be hid.

The corrupt language of you to a single person, and calling the months and days by heathen names, are esteemed by some to be little things; but if a faithful testimony in these little things, was blessed in the instance before mentioned, even to the rais­ing an earnest inquiry after the saving knowledge [Page 149] of God and his blessed Son, whom to know is Eter­nal Life; perhaps such who baulk their testimony to the pure Talent of Truth given them to profit withal, may one day have their portion appointed with the wicked and slothful servant, see Mat. xxv. 24-25. &c.

After the last mentioned meeting I found my mind easy to leave Norwich, and went with Richard Brewster and wife to Wymondam that evening, and next day to Edmondsbury, where feeling an en­gagement of mind we staid eight days, attending their several meetings, and monthly-meeting, which is composed of five particular meetings, where, un­der a sense of a forward formal ministry, my soul mourned and was cloathed with sorrow; the next day we had a precious meeting, and the same even­ing another with the ministers and solid friends, in which it became my concern to set forth the care they ought to exercise over each other, and how necessary it was to deal plainly with those that did not keep their places: Truth owned us together and I believe the opportunity will be remembered.

My mind being drawn to towards Wales, my companion John Pemberton who had been with me three years, having travelled together in much love and unity, inclining to go towards London, we parted in the same love, and I, accompanied by my kind friend Richard Brewster, went to Henry Gray's at Godmanchester in Huntingdonshire, and the next day to Wellingborough in Northamptonshire, and were at their two meetings on first day the twenty­third of the ninth month, which were heavy for want of more faithful inward labourers; that even­ing I had also a sitting with a sick friend.

Next morning my friend R. Brewster returned homewards, and several friends coming to take leave of me, I had an opportunity to remark to them the reason that their meetings were so dull [Page 150] and cloudy; for I thought I clearly saw there was a neglect among them of putting the discipline in practice, where disorders were evident; and that this neglect had caused them to suffer, which would still continue and increase, until they set the testi­mony of Truth over the heads of such who by dis­orderly walking had brought a reproach thereon: The friends were affected, and acknowledged they believed it to be the case amongst them. We part­ed in tenderness and I proceeded on my journey with an income of solid peace, and after riding thirty seven miles reached Banbury in Oxfordshire, and the next day Eatington in Warwickshire, where I met with my friends Richard Partridge and Mary Weston of London, and we were truly glad to see each other, spending the day together and had a meeting with friends in the evening to our mutual comfort; we went in company to Warwick and Coventry, and at the meeting at the last place, which was comfortable, I thought I sensibly felt the benefit of the painful labour I had been exercised in when there before; R. Partridge returning to London, Mary Weston went with me to the quar­terly-meeting at Leicester, which began with a meet­ing of ministers and elders, and one for worship and discipline was held the same day; the service in which lay heavy upon me, and Truth favoured, the power thereof being felt to the comfort of many; and I wish that season may not be forgotten by the members of that meeting; on the first day follow­ing I went to a general meeting at Badgeley, and had an evening meeting at Daniel Lythal's at Poles­worth, who hath a large family of hopeful tender children. I next went to Allen England's at Tam­worth, and had a satisfactory opportunity in his fa­mily, to which I had felt a drawing in my mind for some time; but did not know that it would fall so in the way to the quarterly-meeting at Stafford; [Page 151] which I attended and there met my friend Joshua Tofft, in company with whom I returned to Ridge­ley, and next day had a meeting at the widow Mor­ris's, and another that evening at Uttuxiter, from thence to Leek, and after a favoured meeting went home with Joshua to Hargate, where after resting one day, had another meeting at Leek, and an op­portunity with some friends at Joshua Strangman's, wherewith I had a degree of peace.

Accompanied by J. Tofft I went to a general meeting at Eaton in Cheshire, then to Macclesfield, Stockport, Morley, and Farnly, the last of which was a good meeting; there my friend Samuel Fo­thergill met me, and we went to a meeting at Sut­ton; the next day Susanna Fothergill and her bro­ther Alexander came to see me, and we had a com­fortable time together at Thomas Hough's, being owned by Truth; I was next at a labourious meet­ing at Newton, tho' it ended well, and after it I met again with Joshua Tofft at Edgebury, and had a meeting the next day at Middlewich, then at Nantwich, and Chester, from whence rode to John Bellows at Stretton; my travelling and labours through Cheshire was in a particular close manner, tho' there are some solid friends in that county.

Passing to Shrewsbury in Shropshire, I was at a meeting on first day at Colebrookdale and had some close work; but Truth seemed to give victory, and in the evening at Abraham Darby's house had an opportunity, in which the testimony of Truth pre­vailed to the tendering some high and lofty young people; whose faults were told them in the power of the searcher of hearts, for which the sincere were truly thankful.

Next day returning to Shrewsbury, I went to visit Benjamin Thomas and Richard Bellows, who had been confined in prison about four years and a half for their conscientious refusal to pay tithes, and [Page 152] we had a comfortable season together in the jail, feeling the living presence of the Lord, which makes his people free, even in prisons.

The day following had a meeting in this town, and one in the evening at the house of John Young, both which afforded some peace; but the life of Truth is at a low state in Shropshire, and the pro­fessors with us few in number.

I then passed into North-Wales, to Charles Lloyd's at Dolobran in Montgomeryshire, John Young be­ing with me, and had a meeting there, at this place there was formerly a large meeting; but it is now much declined; from thence we went to Tydeni­garrig in Merrionethshire, and had a meeting with a few sincere friends at the house of Lewis Owen; after which I proceeded on my visit to the other meetings in this county; first at Llwindu in the family of Humphrey Owen, which was a comforta­ble time, tho' no other friends live in this place; then at the house of John Goodwin in Esgingoch in Montgomeryshire, where were several tender friends; but the living are scarcely able to bear the weight of those professors, who altho' they know the truth, do not abide therein, and so are as withered branches cast forth. Next was a pretty large and satisfactory meeting at Talcoyd in Radnorshire, then at Cwm, and Gluerindrew, and on a first day at Penbank, where are many professors, tho' but few solid friends; after which at Penplace and Caermar­then, which last meeting was much to my satisfacti­on, the few friends here being of the better sort; from hence to Haverfordwest with friends by them­selves mostly, and staying their meetings on first day, that in the afternoon was open and satisfactory as to other professors who came in; but pride and worldly mindedness hath much hurt the members of our society, tho' there are a few tender friends. In the evening I had another opportunity with [Page 153] friends, and was enabled to relieve my mind among them with a degree of thankfulness; next meeting was at Jamestown, and in the evening of the day following at Larn with the people of the town, who behaved civilly, but seemed barren as to religion in a right sense; there is but one in this town in unity with friends, and he seemed near his end, whom I visited. After crossing a ferry near a mile broad, not without great danger, being driven on shore and the wind very high, the boat was likely to fill with water, that I was obliged to go over a marsh to Caermarthen, being thankful for the de­liverance, where I had a public meeting with the town's people, to a good degree of satisfaction, and next morning met with my brother W ^m. Brown at Swanzey, and we were made joyful in the company of each other; here we had two meetings, and ano­ther with friends selected, in which he got some relief; after his leaving me here having a concern on my mind I visited the families of friends, tho' not with­out fear; but felt the help and strength of my great and good master, who furnished me with power and skill to discharge my duty, both to the luke­warm and the corrupt disorderly professors, without wounding his own children, some of whom there are in this town; I stay'd their meeting on fourth day, which season being divinely favoured, I pray may not be forgotten, the power which alone can enable to tread on scorpions or serpents, and pre­serve from the force of deadly poison being over all: The honour, praise, and glory, be ascribed to the Lord who is worthy for ever!

Next day I rested, and in a degree of humble thankfulness made these remarks.

I continued many days longer in this town, in which time had divers meetings, some whereof were very satisfactory, many of the town's people attending, and the good hand of the Lord was [Page 154] stretched forth towards them; for which I was truly thankful; after spending sixteen days among them I went to Llantrishon, and the next day had a meet­ing at Trewaruge; then one at Hillary with a ten­der enquiring people, also at Cardiff with a seeking people, who had separated themselves from the public worship and met together in silence; this opportunity was an instructive season to them. On the first day following I was at Pontipool, where at two meetings I had many close things to deliver, observing want of order among them; in the evening had an opportunity with some of the friends most active in the discipline, and endea­voured to discharge myself; and on third day a large and pretty open meeting; being detained by a great snow, I had another meeting with friends of the foremost rank on sixth day, in which I cleared my mind of a great burden, which I had borne on ac­count of a formal ministry among them; my next meeting was at Shere-Newton, which was pretty large tho' dull, the favour of Truth being much lost among friends here; yet I was favoured with strength to discharge myself, and in the feeling sense of peace went that night to the passage over the Severn, and next day to Bristol, my friend and kind landlord James Griffiths bearing me company from his own house at Swanzey.

On third day I attended their meeting in Bristol, but fat in silence, and was very heavy hearted un­der a sense of a forward spirit, which would prompt to answer the expectations of the people, and is apt to prevail on some who seem to be called to the work of the ministry; but Truth only blesseth its own motion.

I continued in and near this city about four weeks, attending their several meetings, but did not feel relief from the burden I was under, and on the fifteenth of the first month (1754,) hearing that [Page 155] my brother W ^m. Brown was at Ann Young's at Erthcot, I went there to see him, and we were comforted in each others company, and next being their meeting day, we attended it to our refresh­ment; from whence we returned together to Bri­stol, where we tarried until the twenty-sixth, in which time I had several open meetings, which set me at liberty to leave that city, when we again parted, and I took meetings at Ulverstone, Thorn­bury, Sadsbury, Dedmartin, Tedbury, and two at Nailsworth, and another there in the evening, when I had an opportunity to the ease of my mind, heavily oppressed on account of the formal profes­sors of truth, to the comfort of the faithful, and caused thankfulness.

From thence calling to visit the widow Fowler who was in affliction, I went to meetings at Pains­wick, Gloucester, Ross in Herefordshire, Almerly, Leominster, and Uphan, where I visited the wives of the two friends before mentioned, who are imprisoned at Shrewsbury for their testimony against Tithes; then returning to Leominster attended the monthly-meeting there, in which truth owned us, and taking a meeting at Broomsgrove went to Wor­cester, and on first day was at two comfortable meetings, and another on third day, and the next day attended the quarterly-meeting, which was a precious time, wherein friends were comforted; and finding a concern on my mind I went into the women's meeting, wherein the power of Truth ac­companied, which is the crown of our religious meetings, here is a tender feed especially amongst the female sex, which will thrive if this Divine power is kept unto.

Being now clear of this city, I departed with peace to meetings at Tewskbury, Cheltenham, and again to Nailsworth, where I was at two meetings, which tho' hard, I had an evidence that the Lord [Page 156] had not forsaken his seeking people. After attend­ing a conference with several friends endeavouring to compose a difference, which ended to satisfacti­on, I proceeded to the quarterly meeting for Glou­cestershire held at Tedbury, where I again met with my brother W. B. Divine Goodness and a good degree of the authority of Truth attending in the time of worship, and in transacting the affairs of the church.

Next day my brother went to Bath and I to Ci­rencester, where I had a hard and dull meeting, the professors of truth having too much departed from the favour thereof; at another in the evening I had an evidence of having discharged my duty; then proceeded to meetings at Farringdon in Berk­shire, Litchfield, Burford in Oxfordshire, Milton, Stow in Gloucestershire, Chipping-Norton, Charlbu­ry, Witney, Abingdon, Warbury, North End, and from thence to High Wiccomb, where the weather being very cold I tarried six days, visiting several families of sick friends, and the last public meeting being in the evening, many of the town's people attended, and it was a solid opportunity. From thence I went to Amersham tho' with difficulty on account of the snow, and on first day had a meeting at Chesham; then to Hampstead, and had there a meeting, which was much enlarged by the scholars of W ^m. Squire's school, several of whom were affec­ted; then having a good opportunity with friends at Albans, I went to London, where I remained seven weeks and three days, visiting the meetings and felt much of the weight and burden of the service be­fore me there, and in the opening and authority of Truth, I had to speak to the present date of our society, not only to the instruction of the seek­ing children and comforting of the mourners; but also by way of rebuke to the disorderly, and close warning to the rebellious.

[Page 157]During my continuance here I felt my mind drawn towards Wiltshire, and thought of attending the quarterly-meeting there; but on the day on which I expected to set forward, I found a stop in my mind; tho' not relieved from a solid concern, which engaged me to enquire secretly what I should do; for notwithstanding this concern to Wiltshire, my burden respecting London seemed rather to increase; but as I kept quiet, I found my heart warmed in love and my mind opened, and influ­enced to write an Epistle to that quarterly-meeting, which with thankfulness I then esteemed a great favour from my great and good Master, being in a poor state of health, the weather unfavourable, and the journey long. So in the opening of truth, I wrote as followeth.

I have before hinted, that in my travelling to the meetings in Wiltshire, and attending the quarterly-meeting in the seventh month, Old Stile, 1750, I was straitened to clear myself towards them, which occasioned me to leave them in pain of mind, but now having sent them this epistle I was made easy, believing they would read it, and send copies there­of to their several monthly-meetings, which would be likely to be heard by more friends than if my concern had been delivered in the quarterly-meet­ing only; inclosing it to an innocent friend at Chip­penham, I desired him to deliver it to the said meet­ing, which I afterwards understood he did, and that friends had answered my request.

Now feeling my mind easy to leave London for a while, I went to Esher in Surry, was the next day at a large meeting at Kingston on Thames, which was pretty open as to doctrine, the people seemed attentive and several much tendered; there are but few friends here.

[Page 161]I then visited divers other meetings in Hampshire and Berkshire, being made thankful to the great author of all good, who had been with me in the journey under my indisposition of body; coming to London I met with many friends from different parts of the nation in order to attend the yearly-meeting, which began on the second day of the sixth month, and continued ten days, being a very large and in the main a solid meeting; many weighty affairs relating to our religious society were therein considered, it was then also agreed, that in future this meeting should begin with a meeting of ministers and elders, on the seventh day of the week at the third hour in the afternoon, that en­quiry might be made into the state of the ministry in general, which I hope may be attended with good service hereafter.

On the eleventh of the sixth month and third day of the week, after the parting meeting I went from London to Margarets in Hertfordshire, next day attended a yearly-meeting in Hertford which was very large.

The next day I accompanied several friends who were appointed to visit a monthly-meeting, the members of which paid tithes, and contended for liberty so to do without censure; we had a confer­ence with them, in which the testimony of Truth being set over them for that time, they were taken and confounded in their own arguments.

After this I attended a general or yearly-meeting at Baldock, which was very large and satisfactory, returning next morning to London, I was truly thankful that I had been enabled to attend these three meetings, enjoying great peace in my labours there, which lay heavy upon me; my gracious and good Master gave me wisdom, boldness, and strength to clear myself in the love and power of Truth, to the tendering of many hearts; may I [Page 162] ever remember his mercies to me, and be enabled to bless and praise his holy name, who is worthy for ever!

Continuing in and near London about ten days, I then went to a large satisfactory meeting at Rochester in Kent, where were several clergymen, who behaved well; next day had a meeting at Loos in the house of Thomas Crisp with a few friends and divers others; then going to my friend William Pattersons, at Canterbury, I was at their meeting in that town, and the day following had one on the Isle of Thanet, where there are a few friendly peo­ple; the meeting next day at Dover was pretty open; on first day I was at two meetings at Folk­stone, which were dull and heavy, tho' there are many friends in that place, amongst whom I was favoured with strength to ease my mind.

I then visited the Meetings at marsham, Ashford, Tenterden, (to which friends of Colebrook came,) Gardnerstreet, Lewis, Brightelmstone, Ifield, Hors­ham, Shipley, Arundle, and Chichester, when find­ing a concern to visit the families of friends in this city, I spent two days in the service and had same close exercise, tho' a good degree of peace; I also attended their two meetings on first day, which were heavy and laborious; for tho' here are some tender people, yet the spirit of the world has brought a blast on several professors.

From hence I went to Gosport in Hampshire where we had a meeting, also one in the evening at Portsmouth, Jn ^o. Griffith and Jerem. Waring being with me; then going to Southampton, went in a boat to Cowes on the Isle of Wight, and the day after had a good meeting at Newport, likewise one in the evening with the town's people, after another opportunity with friends, returned to Cowes where I had another with a few of our brethren, so went back to Southampton, and on first day the [Page 163] twenty-first of the seventh month attended two meetings at Pool in Dorsetshire, which were dull and laborious; a worldly libertine spirit has brought a blast on many: Next day we had a meeting with a few friends at Weymouth, then at Bridport, truth seems at a low ebb in Dorsetshire: The next meet­ing was at Ringwood in Hampshire, which was dull; where the life of Truth is not abode in, peo­ple will wither. The same evening we had a meet­ing to pretty good satisfaction at Fordingbridge; then one at Alton, at which place we had another very satisfactory meeting, on first day, and that evening at Godalmen; the next day had a meeting at Capel in Surry and in the evening at Darking; on the day following at Ryegate and in the evening at Croydon; from whence on fourth day morning the thirty-first of the seventh month coming again to London for the last time, I spent eight days more with friends in that city.

On my coming here from Albans, on the nine­teenth of the third month before mentioned, I felt great fear to possess my mind, having at sundry times before spent about thirteen weeks in that city, mostly under a close exercise of spirit, without an openness to say much in public or private to obtain relief; so that to go thither again appeared to me like entering into a cloud, altho' I was secretly bound in spirit to proceed; but attending all the meetings as they came in course, I felt a gradual openness and strength to decare those things, which before had been sealed up, being now made sensible that every opening or vision, which the Lord is pleased to manifest to his servants, are not for im­mediate utterance; but the Lord who gives judg­ment should be carefully waited' upon, who only can shew, by the manifestation of his heavenly light, the time when, and by the gentle putting forth of his arm of power, abilitates in the opening of his [Page 164] spirit, which giveth tongue and utterance to speak the word of Truth, in the demonstration of the spirit and power, that openeth a door of entrance in the hearts of them who hear. Our dear Lord said, For it is not ye that speak; but the Spirit of your Father, which speaketh in you, Mat. x. 20.

Now as my service opened and strength increased, I was invited by some to their houses to dine, who before looked on me with indifference; but now said they should be glad to see me there to be more acquainted; but as I felt on my first arrival in this city, a secret prohibition from going much from house to house without inward leave, so now the same restraint continued with me, left by going to such places 1 might somewhat contradict by ex­ample, the precepts which Truth had directed me to diliver in public, to wit, a life of self-denial and temperance in eating and drinking, with a steady inward attention to the teachings of the Spirit of Grace, in order to know an establishment of heart thereby, as being the certain duty of every follower of Christ Jesus our Lord.

Thus I think I have seen that there is great need to be exceedingly careful, when the Lord is pleased to reach unto and convict disorderly walkers by in­strumental means, that we do not lessen the weight of Divine reproof, by being familiar with such as if all was well; for they are apt to be fond of the in­strument through whom they have been reached, and if by their fondling, they gain the esteem of such a friend, it seems to heal them before their wounds are searched to the bottom; so that I rather chose retirement, and to live as private as I well could; now I also saw, that if I had fought many acquaintance, and thereby beheld the conduct and behaviour of some in their families, my way would not have been so open as it now was.

[Page 165]In many meetings the Love and Power of Truth was felt by the humble dependant children, whose eyes were fixed on their Heavenly Helper, and at some of the last in London, I had with an innocent boldness to appeal to friends to bear witness of the manner in which I had spent my time in that city; that I had not fought to be popular, nor endeavour­ed to gain the praise of any, or the friendship of those who were not the real friends of truth, keep­ing in a good degree under the innocency and sim­plicity thereof; yet with a near affection I felt my spirit united to the children of the heavenly family amongst them; but had never fought to steal their love from the great parent to whom they did be­long; my prayer and heart's desire having been, that there abode might be in the truth, and their affections placed on God, and the whole delight of their hearts to meditate in his holy law; that if through me as an instrument they had received any benefit, the praise belonged to the Lord the only supreme good; and if in future they did but love, fear and serve him, it was little to me whether they ever remembered that I had been amongst them. Nevertheless a participation of the love of God by the members of the true church, has taught them to know the communion of saints, and the deeply engraven unity of the one spirit, which makes them as Epistles written in one another's hearts, which time or distance can never erase.

Having spent first and last in London about twen­ty three weeks, on the ninth day of the eighth month and sixth of the week, after a solid meeting at Grace Church-street, I felt myself at liberty to set my face homewards; the same ship in which I came over, and the same captain Setphen Mesnard, being now ready to go for Philadelphia, I went that night to Gravesend accompanied by about twelve friends, the next morning we went on board [Page 166] the ship, where we had a precious uniting time, and then returned on shore to dine; after which my friend Samuel Fothergill and myself taking leave of our friends went on board again, and passed down the Thames to Margaret Bay, near the Isle of Thanet; on first day the eleventh we went to the Downs by Deal, tho' very much indisposed in body, I enjoyed such quietude of mind, that I was borne up, ard preserved from repining: Samuel Fother­gill before mentioned, came over with me on a re­ligious visit to friends in America; and during our passage, great nearness was between us; we held meetings constantly on the first and fifth days of the week, and landed near Wilmington in New-Castle County on Delaware on the twenty-fourth of the ninth month (1754) in the forenoon.

My brother William Brown with our friend Jo­shua Dixon from the county of Durham in Great Britain, who was coming over also on a religious visit to friends in these colonies, having embarked in another ship, which sailed some time before us, arrived likewise the same day, and quite unexpected to each other we met in this town to our mutual joy and satisfaction; from whence after dining, they with Samuel Fothergill proceeded up to Philadel­phia, and I went home that evening, where I found a kind reception.

In this visit I was absent from home four years and twelve days, having travelled by land about nine thousand one hundred miles, and attended about one thousand meetings, besides those in Lon­don and Dublin, (in which cities I spent near half a year,) and visited all the families of Friends in North and South Holland.

CHAP. V.

OUR Yearly-meeting for worship at Notting­ham was held in the week after I landed, and I was greatly rejoiced to see many of my friends and acquaintance there.

In the eleventh month following I went up to the quarterly-meeting in Philadelphia, and returned to ours at Concord, where also was Samuel Fothergill; it was a very large meeting, in which he was di­vinely opened in speaking to the state of friends in his public ministry, and serviceable in the discipline; he also attended our general-meeting in the same month at London-Grove, which was also large and profitable, then went towards Lancaster on his way to the Southern Provinces.

I spent this winter mostly at and near home, at times attending some neighbouring meetings, until towards the spring I took a small journey to seven or eight others.

[Page 168]During my late travels in Europe, beholding the declension of many of the professors of truth from the ancient simplicity in habit and deportment, I sometimes was ready to cry out and say, O Penn­sylvania! may thine inhabitants be for ever strangers to the vanities of the world, and the professors of truth keep their garments clean from the spots thereof, pride and superfluity of every kind; but now with sorrow of heart, I thought I beheld ma­ny of the youth in our society taking their flight as into the air, where the snares of the prince of the power thereof are laid to catch them, some of whom being already so much ensnared to their unspeaka­ble hurt, I knew them not otherwise than by their natural features and a family resemblance, their demeanour and habit being so exceedingly altered in a little more than four years; yet to my comfort I saw a few, who by walking in the Light, had escaped the wiles of satan and were growing in the Truth.

In the fourth month (1755) I attended the gene­ral annual-meeting at Duck-Creek, also meetings at Little-Creek and George's-Creek, the last of which was more open than I expected, several of other societies being there, who behaved orderly; after which I spent most of the summer at home, diligently attending our meetings for worship and discipline, and had to observe that the general part of the members of our meeting, were for some­time remarkable in their care to come together near the hour appointed, and we had some precious op­portunities, many of which were held in silence, wherein I often saw it to be a time of renewed vi­sitation to many, which if not carefully improved, would not be continued very long; but that a more trying season would overtake us, (of which I was sometimes led to speak as truth opened) wherein the door of outward ministry would be more closed up, [Page 169] which would prove the religion of the professors of truth, and manifest what they attended meetings for, whether to wait upon God for the Spiritual Bread, or on man for outward ministry.

In the ninth month I attended our yearly-meeting in Philadelphia, which was large and solid, where­in many weighty matters coming under considerati­on were concluded to satisfaction, that many friends parted in a feeling sense of the overshadowing of the Heavenly wing, with reverent thankfulness of heart.

In the tenth month I attended Shrewsbury quar­terly-meeting in East-Jersey, at which also were our friends John Evans and Joseph White, it was large the sittings thereof being favoured with a degree of the Divine presence; we also attended the monthly-meeting there and had some service; friends were encouraged to deal with such who were disorderly in conduct, there having been some slackness among them in that respect.

As the sound of war and public commotions, had now entered the borders of these heretofore peaceful provinces, some solid thoughts attended my mind at Shrewsbury, respecting the nature of giving money for the King's use, knowing the same to be intended for the carrying on of war. John Evans accompanying me homewards, we took three meetings in our way, the last being at Evesham, at which place I told him that I felt an engagement of mind to go to Philadelphia, and he consented to go with me; when we came to the city the Assembly of Pennsylvania being sitting, we understood that a Committee of the House was appointed to prepare a bill, for granting a sum of money for the King's use to be issued in paper bills of credit, to be called in and sunk at a stated time by a tax on the inha­bitants, on which account several friends were un­der a close exercise of mind, some of whom being [Page 170] providentially together, and conferring on the sub­ject, concluded it was expedient to request a con­ference with those members of the House who were of our religious profession; on applying to the Speaker, who was one himself, we obtained an op­portunity of conversing with them, after which, we believed that an Address to the Assembly would be necessary; but we then being only few in num­ber, consulted with several weighty friends thereon, at length upwards of twenty met together, who after solidly considering the matter before us, were all of opinion that an Address to the Assembly would be proper and necessary; whereupon one was drawn up, which being considered, agreed to and signed by all of us, we went together to the House, and presenting it to the Speaker, it was read while we were present; a copy whereof here follows, viz.

[Page 172]A Bill was however brought in by the Committee of the Assembly, and a Law enacted for granting a large sum of money proposed to be sunk, or called in by a general tax.

When this service before related was over, which I apprehended it my duty to be concerned in, I re­turned home; but a close exercise remained on me as well as on the minds of divers other friends, on account of the law now passed; and as care had been taken to apprize the Assemby of the solid sentiments of friends thereon, that we apprehended our charter respecting liberty of conscience would thereby be affected, therefore a large committee of the yearly-meeting, which had been appointed to visit the quarterly, and monthly-meetings, met at Philadelphia in the twelfth month, had a con­ference thereon, together with another committee nominated to correspond with the meeting for suf­ferings in London; and after several solid opportu­nities of waiting on the Lord to be rightly instruct­ed, in which being favoured with a renewed sense of the ownings of truth, many friends thought they could not be clear as faithful watchmen, with­out communicating to their brethren, their mind and judgment concerning the payment of such a tax; for which purpose an Epistle was prepared, considered, agreed to, and signed by twenty one friends, copies thereof were concluded to be com­municated to the monthly-meetings, being as fol­lows, viz.

[Page 175]In the Year 1756 I attended our general spring-meeting in Philadelphia, at which we had the com­pany of our dear friends Samuel Fothergill and Catharine Payton from Great Britain, and her companion Mary Peasley from Ireland, and it was a solemn edifying meeting.

The Indians having burnt several houses on the frontiers of this Province, also at Gnadenhutten in Northampton County, and murdered and scalped some of the inhabitants; at the time of this meet­ing two or three of the dead bodies were brought to Philadelphia in a waggon, with an intent as was supposed to animate the people to unite in prepara­tions of war to take vengeance on the Indians, and destroy them: They were carried along several of the streets, many people following, cursing the In­dians, also the Quakers because they would not join in war for destruction of the Indians. The sight of the dead bodies and the outcry of the people, were very afflicting and shocking to me: Standing at the door of a friend's house as they passed along, my mind was humbled and turned much inward when I was made secretly to cry; What will become of Pennsylvania? for it felt to me that many did not consider, that the sins of the inhabitants, pride, profane swearing, drunkenness with other wickedness were the cause, that the Lord had suf­fered this calamity and scourge to come upon them; the weight of my exercise increasing as I walked along the street; at length it was said in my soul, This Land is polluted with blood, and in the day of inquisition for blood, it will not only be required at the frontiers and borders, but even in this place where these bodies are now seen. I said within myself, "How can this be? since this has been a land of peace, and as yet not much concerned in war;" but as it were in a moment mine eyes turned to the case of the poor enslaved Negroes: And however light [Page 176] a matter they who have been concerned with them may look upon the purchasing, selling, or keeping those oppressed people in slavery, it then appeared plain to me, that such were partakers in iniquity, encouragers of war and the shedding of innocent blood, which is often the case, where those unhap­py people are or have been captivated and brought away for slaves: The same day I went to Pine-street meeting under an exercising mournful state of mind, and thought I could be willing to sit among the peo­ple undiscovered.

I attended our Quarterly-meeting at Concord in the fifth month, and in a few days after went to the yearlv-meeting at West-River in Maryland, which was large and in a good degree satisfactory, then going to meetings at Herring-Creek, and the Clifts, returned the following first day to West-River, where I had a good opportunity to clear myself towards friends of that place; being concerned on account of several of the elders, who did not con­duct so examplary as they ought before the youth, and left them relieved in my mind; from thence I returned home, taking several meetings in my way.

In the ninth month I was at our yearly-meeting for Pennsylvania and New-Jersey, held this year at Burlington, which was large and edifying; many weighty matters being in much brotherly love re­sulted to satisfaction, our friend Thomas Gawthrop from Great Britain was there, in the time there­of our worthy friend and brother John Evans of Gwynnedd departing this life, Thomas and I went to attend the burial, on which solemn occasion, he had a seasonable opportunity to remind a large gathering of people of their latter end, and I thought it was a solid time.

Being one of the committee appointed by the yearly-meeting to visit the quarterly and monthly-meetings, I was careful in attending on that service, [Page 177] as way was opened in company with other friends, as likewise our meeting for sufferings this year established, which is held monthly in Philadelphia, frequently taking meetings in my way going and returning.

In the Spring of the year 1757, I also attended our general-meeting for ministers and elders held at Philadelphia.

Having often remembered a remarkable account given me when in England by our ancient worthy friend John Richardson, which as it made some im­pression on my mind I committed to writing, and now reviving think it is worthy to be preserved, being nearly as follows, tho' I was not particular in regard to the time of the occurrence, viz.

"Peter Gardner, a Friend who lived in Essex, had a concern to visit friends in Scotland; but being low in circumstances, and having a wife and several children, was under discouragement about it: The Lord in mercy condescended to remove his doubts, by letting him know he would be with him, and though he had no horse to ride, and was but a weakly man, yet he would give him strength to perform the journey, and sustain him so that he should not want for what was sufficient. And having faith, he laid his concern before the monthly-meet­ing he belonged to, with innocent weight; and friends concurring with him therein, he took his journey along the East-side of the Nation, through Norfolk, Lincolnshire, and Yorkshire, and coming to a week-day meeting at Bridlington where John Richardson then dwelt, he lodged at his house. In the evening the doors being shut, Peter asked him if any friend lived that way, (pointing with his finger) John told him he pointed towards the sea, which was not far from thence: he said he believed he must go and see somebody that way in the morn­ing, [Page 178] John asked him if he should go with him? he said he believed it would not be best, and so went to bed."

"In the morning when John's wife had prepared breakfast, he thought he would go and see if the friend was well, but found the bed empty, and that he was gone, at which John Richardson wondred; but soon after Peter came in, to whom John said, Thou hast taken a morning walk, come to break­fast: And before they had done eating, a friend from the Quay or harbour (the way that Peter Gardner pointed to over night) came in, and said, "I wonder at thee John, to send this man with such a message to my house," and related as follows, viz. That he came to him as he was standing at the Fish-market-Place, looking on the sea, to observe the wind, That he asked him if he would walk into his house? to which Peter answered that he came for that purpose; (this was in the twilight of the morning,) that when he went into the house, he enquired whether his wife was well, to which the man answered, that she was sick in bed, and in­vited him to go in and see her; he said he came so to do: Then being conducted into the chamber where the sick woman was, he sat down by her; and after a short time told her, the will and resig­nation of her mind was accepted instead of the deed, and that she was excused from the journey which had been before her, and should die in peace with God and men: Then turning to the man (her husband) he said, Thy wife had a concern to visit the churches in another country beyond the sea, but thou wouldst not give her leave, so she shall be taken from thee; and behold, the Lord's hand is against thee, and thou shalt be blasted in whatso­ever thou doest, and reduced to want thy bread. So the man seemed angry with John Richardson, who said to him, "be still, and weigh the matter, [Page 179] for I knew not of the friend's going to thy house; but thought he was in bed, and did not inform him about thee nor thy wife," at which he went away. so Peter pursued his journey towards Scotland, John Richardson and another friend going with him to Scarborough on horse back, (for he would not let them go on foot with him,) he kept before them full as fast as they chose to ride; and when they had gone about half way, he gained ground of them, and John said he was filled with admira­tion for he seemed to go with more flight and ease, he thought than ever he had seen any man before: And riding fast to overtake him, he thought he be­held a small white cloud as it were encompassing his head; when he overtook him John said to him, Thou doest travel very fast; Peter replied, my ma­ster told me before I left home, that he would give me hinds feet, and he hath performed his promise to me."

"When they came in sight of Scarborough, Peter said, take me to a friend's house if there is any there; John replied, I will take thee to the place where I lodge, and if thou art not easy there, I will go until we find a place, if it may be: so John Richardson took him to his lodgings, and just as they entered the door, they heard some one go up stairs, and anon the woman friend of the house coming down with a neighbour of hers invited them to sit down; and in a short time, Peter saith, Here is light and darkness, good and bad in this house. The woman, after she had got them some refresh­ment, came and asked John, "who hast thou brought here?" A man of God, he replied. Having a meeting at Scarborough the next day, John Rich­ardson staid with him, and said he had good ser­vice; he also went with him to several friends houses there, and he frequently spake his sense of the state of the families; but as they were near entering one [Page 180] house, Peter stopped, and said, my Master is not there, I will not go in, so they turned away."

"Next morning at parting, John Richardson asked him how he was prepared for money, telling him the journey was long; to whom Peter answered, I have enough, my Master told me I should not want, and now, a bit of bread, and some water from a brook, refreshes me as much as a set meal at a table: But John insisted to see how much money he had, which was but two half-crowns; upon which John took a handfull of small pieces out of his pocket, and forced Peter to take them, telling him it was as free to him as his own, for so the Lord had put it into his heart; thus they parted, John and the other friend returning home."

"In about two weeks afterwards the man's wife (before mentioned) died, as Peter had foretold; at that time, the same man had three ships at sea, his son was master of one, a second son was on board another, and in their voyages they were all wreck­ed or foundered and their cargoes chiefly lost; his two sons and several of the hands being drowned: The man soon after broke and could not pay his debts, but came to want bread before he died, though he had been in good circumstances, if not very rich."

"John Richardson further said, That after some time he heard Peter Gardner was dead in Cumber­land, on his return from Scotland, and being at­tached to him in near affection, he went to enquire how he ended."

"John Bowstead a noted friend near Carlisle gave him an account that Peter had been through Scot­land, and came to Carlisle, and the small pox being there, he took the infection very suddenly and lay ill with it: So J. Bowstead went just as the pock was coming out on him, and took him to his house, they never came out kindly, but swelled him very [Page 181] much, so that he was blind, and died about the seventh day, was quite sensible to the last, and knew the states of those who came to see him: He had enough to pay his funeral charges."

On the twelfth of the seventh month this year I left home, in order to attend a treaty to be held between the Indians and our Government at Easton in Northampton County; and proceeded to Phila­delphia, where I was present at several conferences with friends, the Governor having declared his dis­like to their attendance at that treaty, or their di­stinguishing themselves by giving the Indians any presents; the result was, that as mutual tokens of the revival of antient friendship had passed between them and the Indians, with a veiw to promote a general peace; it would be of bad consequence now to neglect or decline attending on this import­ant occasion; tho' it was judged necessary for friends to act with great caution. We therefore set for­ward, and taking a meeting at Gwynnedd in the way, reached Easton on fourth day the twenty-first of the month, the Governor being got there about two hours before us; but did not enter on business that day.

Many friends from Philadelphia and other parts being here collected, we held a meeting on fifth day which was low and dull, things appearing very dark; in the afternoon the Indians with Teedyus­cung their King, or chief man, went to the Go­vernor and signified the sincerity of their intentions to promote the good work of peace, when he de­livered several strings and belts of wampum, in order to certify the full power and authority given to Teedyuscung for that purpose, who also desired that as things had heretofore been misunderstood or forgotten, he might have the liberty to choose a clerk to take the minutes of the transactions at this treaty on behalf of the Indians, which was put off by the Governor at that time.

[Page 182]Next morning Teedyuscung renewed the same request, but was again put by: Then the Indians began to be very uneasy, from an apprehension that some people from the Jersey side of the river were likely to rise, with a design to destroy them; but on going to converse with them, and giving them some pipes and tobacco, which they were told was a present from friends, they became more quiet, and seemingly pacified; this day and the next there was little business done.

On first day the twenty-fourth of the month, friends held a public meeting, in the Treaty-booth to pretty good satisfaction, to which a great num­ber of people came, two friends having acceptable service therein; in the afternoon friends met again; but there seemed so great a cloud over the meeting, by reason of a raw careless spirit prevailing over the minds of the people, as though there was no God, notwithstanding his judgments are so conspicuous. especially in these parts of the country, that life did not arise in this meeting, about sunset this even­ing we heard that the Mohawk Indians had re­quested to have a fire made to dance round, which the governor allowed, as he had the evening before to the Delawares, with both which we were very uneasy, as the tendency thereof was to make the Indians drunk; but no endeavours of ours could prevent it.

On second day morning the Governor agreed to allow the Indian King to choose himself a clerk, which he did, and about one o'clock that day the treaty was first opened in public, when Teedyus­cung was desired fully to inform with an open heart, wherein he apprehended the Indians had been defrauded by the Proprietaries, to which he answered that he would to-morrow; but they must first clean up the blood, (as he expressed it) and bury the dead bodies: Next day being again met, [Page 183] the King said, "that according to his word, he had now met some of the several nations to do what they could for settling peace; but now in the first place he had seen, and considered the black cloud that hung over the land, the blood and bodies of the people who had suffered," and then said, "I have gathered up the stained leaves, the blood and dead bodies, and looked round about, when all seemed terrible, that I could find no place to hide them; but looking up, I saw the great and good Spirit above; let us heartily join in prayer to him, that he may give us power to bury all these things out of our sight, that neither the evil spirit, nor any wicked person may ever be able to raise them; that we may love like brethren, and the sun may shine clear upon us, that we, our wives, our young men and children may rejoice in a lasting peace, that we may eat the fruits of the earth, and they may do us good, so that we may enjoy peace in the day time, and at night lay down and sleep in it." Gave a belt of seventeen rows of wampum.

By another belt he told the Governor, that he took him by one hand, and the five nations of In­dians and their allies took him by the other, there­fore said he, let us all stand as one man, with one heart and one mind, and join in this good work of peace. When we intend to lift or remove a great weight, we must be strong, if all do not exert themselves we can never do it; but if all heartily join, it is easy to remove it, our forefathers did not proceed right when they met together, they looked at the earth and things present, which will soon pass out of our sight; but did not look forward to the good of posterity. Let us set out right, and do better than they did, that a peace may be settled which may last to our children.

He next acquainted the Governor, that one of the messengers who had gone on a late message [Page 184] to the Indians a far off, (meaning Moses Tatamy's son) was shot on his return by one of our young men, and lay in a dangerous condition; and by a string of wampum insisted, that if he died, the other should be tried by our law, and suffer death also; and that some of their people should be pre­sent, to be able to inform the other nations of In­dians of the justice done. He also revived the an­cient agreement, that if any of them should commit the like offence, the criminal should be delivered up to be tried according to our laws, and suffer death in the same manner.

On fourth day there was no public treaty, things seemed in much confusion and very dull; but friends kept quiet; the next day I found myself much indis­posed, and therefore thought it best to leave Easton before the treaty ended; but before I left it friends had a solemn opportunity together, at which time I thought I saw, that the working of the dark revengeful spirit, which opposed the measures of peace, was one reason why friends were so baptized into distress and suffering, of which I made some mention to friends, and that if they kept quiet, the clouds as to them would somewhat break away; Daniel Stanton had a solemn time in supplication. After this meeting taking leave of friends, I rode to Richland, and tho' my distemper increased and I was very ill, I pursued my journey the next day, and the day following reached Philadelphia, where I was carefully attended through a time of tedious and close affliction, my dear wife coming to me in my illness was also taken with the same disorder, that we were not able to move homewards until the twenty-third of the eighth month, but through the goodness of kind providence in supporting us, got to our own habitation the next day in the evening, where after about a week's stay I set out again to attend the meeting for sufferings in Philadelphia, [Page 185] and tho' very weak, got there, after tarrying part of three days in town, went forward in order to attend the monthly-meetings in Bucks County, of which I had a view while I lay sick, when it ap­peared to me the way to recover my strength was to be faithful to every discovery of duty; according­ly in company with several other friends appointed by the yearly-meeting, I visited the several monthly meetings in that county, in some of which a good degree of the Divine presence being felt, was cause of thankfulness; tho' at one of them we had some remarkable close work, both in the time of worship and discipline.

Returning to Philadelphia I perceived myself much recovered, spent five days there attending meetings as they came in course; and then went to Newtown meeting in Chester County, which was small, there being an evident slackness of attending week day meetings; from thence I went to Uwch­lan, to the marriage of William Trimble and Phebe Thomas, which was a good meeting, where I met my dear wife on her way to the yearly-meeting at Philadelphia; and after attending a meeting at Mer­rion, we went into the city the next evening; our friends Thomas Gawthrop, Samuel Spavold, Wil­liam Reckitt and others from Great Britain, also Thomas Nicholson from North-Carolina, were at this yearly-meeting, which was large and satisfacto­ry, holding from the seventeenth to the twenty-fourth of the ninth month, 1757.

Here I may note, that before I left home to at­tend the late Indian treaty at Easton: In my sleep I thought I was riding Eastward in the twilight, and saw a light before me towards fun-rising, which did not appear to be a common light, but soon observed the appearance of something therein, whereat the beast that I rode was much affrighted and would have ran from it, which I knew would be in vain; [Page 186] for I took it to be an Angel, whose motion was as swift as thought, so rather stopt and reined in my beast towards it; it was encompassed with a bright­ness like a rainbow, with a large loose garment of the same colour down to the feet; it rather seemed to move even along than to walk, and then stood still in the midst of many curious stacks of corn; it was of a human form about seven feet high (as I thought,) and smiling on me, asked where I was go­ing; I said towards yonder building, which I thought was an elegant one directly before me; it seemed to approve my way and vanished upwards. Then I awakened and had particularly to remember the complexion of this angelic apparition, which was not much different from one of the Indians clean washed from his grease and filth; remembering my dream very fresh, when I had seen the Indians at the treaty, and had heard some matters remarkably spoken by some particulars of them, I was made to believe it was not unreasonable to conclude, that the Lord was in them by his good Spirit, and that all colours were equal to him, who gave life and being to all mankind; we should therefore be care­full to examine deeper than the outward appearance, with a tender regard to station and education, if we desire to be preserved from error in judgment.

The following Sentences being delivered in two of his public testimonies, were soon after committed to writing by a friend who was present, and appearing worthy to be further preserved are now communicated, —viz.

In a first day meeting at East Nottingham the nineteenth of the twelfth month 1756, he expressed nearly as follows.

‘I felt my mind in this meeting remarkably drawn from outward observation, and was com­manded [Page 187] to center in deep and awful silence, wherein there was such a flowing of good will to mankind, as is scarcely to be uttered by tongue; but thus centering with diligent attention, I thought I felt a strong power of darkness and stupid ignorance, seemingly combined to make war against this solemn attention of mind; yet after patiently waiting some time, to my comfort I felt a secret victory, and the darkness vanished: Then, a voice was uttered in me attended (I thought) with Divine authority thus, I will bow the inhabitants of the earth, and particularly of this land, and I will make them fear and reverence me, either in mercy or in judgment; hereupon a prospect immediately opened to my view of a day of calamity and sore distress which was ap­proaching, and in which the careless and stupid professors, who are easy, and not concerned to properly worship and adore the almighty, and have not laboured to witness their foundation to be laid on him the immoveable Rock, will be greatly surprised with fearfulness; and on the behalf of such, a piercing cry and lamentation ran through me, thus, Alas for the day! Alas for the day! Woe is me! (several times repeated) and a voice which seemed to be connected with the foregoing, said further, yet once more faith the Lord, I shake not the earth only but also heaven: Not only the situation of those that know not any place of safety or refuge, that which is out­ward and earthly; but also those who assume a higher place and in their specious appearances and false pretences amongst men, do value them­selves on their assumed goodness, and would fain be accounted of the highest rank, and even place themselves among the saints, and are by some accounted as stars in the firmament; yet in the [Page 188] day of my power wherein I will shake the hea­vens, and the earth, those stars shall fall to the ground.’

‘In the opening, something within me was ready to say, amen so be it, O Lord Almighty, cut short thy work in the earth, in order that thou may'st put an end to sin, and finish transgression, that thy fear, and the knowledge of thee, may cover the earth, as the waters cover the sea. Wherefore, my friends, the fervent desire of my soul is, that all present may with diligence la­bour to have your minds truly centred and hum­bled before God, to know a being fixed on that foundation which only standeth sure, that in a time of outward distress, which perhaps may come in your day, ye may find a place of safety and refuge.’ All which with more to the like effect, was delivered in great humility and broken­ness.

At a week day meeting at the same place, the seventeenth of the second month 1757, several per­sons by unseasonable coming in had interrupted the quiet of the meeting, he gave a suitable caution in that respect, in gentle winning terms, reminding those met of the awfulness and solemnity which should attend us when we approach the presence of him who is most Holy; and in what reverence, fear and care, we ought to come together, not forgetting the hour appointed; and then expressed nearly as follows.

‘A certain sentence has been presented to the view of my mind, which seemed to contain a gentle engaging caution, and matter of instructi­on to me, attended with sweetness; which was, Work while it is day. Friends, this is our day, wherein we ought to be diligent and industrious, in the light of the day we may see, and under­stand [Page 189] how to work, and what to do, that at the conclusion we may obtain from the Master of the day, who dwelleth in Light, the answer of well done; for the night will come, wherein no man can work: We are now favoured with liberty in this our day, to assemble together for worship unmolested; and my hearty desire is, that we may properly improve this mercy; for the time to some of us may come, before our day in this life is closed, wherein this priviledge, may in some measure be taken from us; something in me would be ready to say, The Lord forbid that should be the case; but by reason of the great declension which has overspread the church, I hardly dare to expect any other: Oh may we therefore be careful to prize the mercy of God, and endeavour to gain an inheritance in the light, that when night overtakes, and darkness as to the outward may hang over us, we may be fa­voured to withdraw into the sure hiding place, and know a quiet habitation!’

CHAP. VI.

HAVING some drawings in my mind to visit the meetings of friends in the Counties of Philadelphia and Bucks, being also under an ap­pointment of the yearly-meeting to join with some others in a visit to the monthly-meetings; in order to [Page 190] proceed on my service, I acquainted our monthly-meeting at Nottingham, with whose concurrence I left home on the third of the twelfth month 1757, accompanied by a near relation, and attended Dar­by meeting on first day, wherein tho' life and the power of Truth seemed to be low, I thought the humble waiters were encouraged; we went to the evening meeting in Philadelphia, next morning at­tended the meeting of ministers and elders, and the day following a meeting at the Bank, also a meet­ing for sufferings, and on fourth day returned to Darby to their monthly-meeting, where we found friends under a strait about disowning one among them, who denied the Divinity of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ; on whom they had bellowed much labour to convince him of his error, the meet­ing ended well; the company of the friends who attended it being acceptable and of service: We were next day at Haverford monthly-meeting held at Radnor, where the lively exercise of the discipline appeared to be very low, yet I was glad I was there; during the time of the business, feeling a concern on my mind to appoint a meeting at Haverford to be held the next day, I proposed it for concurrence, which being readily agreed to, we attended there accordingly, and had a large meeting much to satisfaction, having great peace in observing the motion of truth respecting this appointment; on the following day accompanied by my friend Hugh Evans, I visited some ancient friends, who by rea­son of old age and indisposition could not get out to meetings, wherein I was favoured with that peace, which I have often experienced to attend the acceptable work of visiting the afflicted: On first day after a satisfactory meeting at Merrion, I went to the evening meeting in Philadelphia, in which truth favoured with a degree of openness, to the instruction and comfort of many: On third [Page 191] day afternoon, accompanied by my brother W ^m. Brown, went forward to Richland monthly-meeting held on the fifth day, where we had some close hard work, which generally happens when a life­less formal spirit hath the prevalence in managing the affairs of the church, for want of feeling after and waiting for the true authority, even the power of God, yet we were glad tnat we were there; from thence my brother returned home, the rest of us going to an appointed meeting at Plumstead, which tho' the weather was severely cold, was large and comfortable, in the sense whereof we were thankful to the author of all good; the meeting next day at Buckingham was small but satisfactory; I have often observed, that the severity of the wea­ther is not a sufficient excuse for the Lord's panting children to neglect public worship, which is a duty incumbent on us and due to his glorious name; at Wrightstown meeting the next day the master of our Assemblies was pleased to appear in an eminent manner, to the comfort of the poor, instruction of the enquirers, rebuke of the backsliders, and edifi­cation of many; for which the sacrifice of thanks­giving and praise was offered to him, who alone is worthy for ever; after this meeting I felt the value of that peace, which by the humble is better felt than expressed: We had next a good meeting at Makefield, at which were many seeking tender young people; then attended the Falls preparative meeting, which was satisfactory, a comfortable de­gree of unity subsisting among friends; our next meeting was at Bristol, in which after a dark dis­tressing time in silence, what I had to communicate was introduced by a question thus, Are you found in faith and practice? and I was led to set forth, "that to profess and acknowledge even sacred Truths, without a life of self-denial with an answerable ho­nest conduct, was no way sufficient; that being a [Page 192] dead faith, which produceth not good works in him who faith he believeth; shewing what stumbling blocks, the nominal professors are, who by their example plainly manifest, that they are not posses­sors of what they profess to have, and are the great­est enemies the truth hath, which I was doubtful was the case with some among them;" I had peace in this plain dealing; our next was a laborious meeting at Byberry, yet yielded a degree of the same peace; a friend afterwards told me that the Hate of the meeting was clearly spoken to, which I relate not for any praise to man; but that it was an additional confirmation of the Lord's sufficiency to his own work, and when we are weak, foolish or contemptible in our own esteem, his strength appears, and his wisdom inspires with true know­ledge, whereby he magnifieth himself; we went home with our friend James Thornton and next day to Horsham, where was a large and good meeting, after which we had a comfortable time in the family of John Cadwalader; next day we attended the monthly-meeting at Abington in company with Sa­muel Eastburn and Joseph White; we found things low here, because of a want of that strength in which stands the authority of the church; it is only the pure wisdom from above, that preserves friends in peace, meekness, gentleness, and unanimity in the distribution of right justice and judgment in the church of Christ.

We were next day at Gwynedd monthly-meet­ing, which was a precious time through the power of that sacred name, which is as ointment poured forth, the favour whereof continued thro' both worship and discipline, in which the faithful were mutually comforted; we from thence went to Ellen Evans's, and had an evening-meeting, some of the neighbours coming in, several friends were much [Page 193] enlarged in counsel, and the opportunity ended in solemn prayer and thanksgiving.

We went from thence to Exeter monthly-meet­ing, which ended to satisfaction in the main; then home with our friend Ellis Hugh, where Joseph White and Sam ^l. Eastburn left us to return home­wards; my companion and I proceeding to Reading, had a public meeting in the Court-house, which I thought was pretty well considering the company, many loose people attending; but Truth seemed to come into dominion and quieted them, that the meeting ended in a degree of awful sweetness; On first day, being also the first of the new-year 1758, we were at Maiden Creek meeting, which altho' a low time, afforded peace and comfort, from a prospect that there were among the youth in par­ticular, some true branches of the vine of Life, who therefore could not be satisfied without the living sap from the Holy root, and in the Lord's time would be favoured therewith, if there was a patient waiting for that springing season; we re­turned to Reading that evening, to a meeting held by appointment at a friend's house for the members of our society in that town, in the attendance of which I found peace; crossing the river Schuylkill we were next day at Robinson or the Forest meet­ing, after which I was much humbled in a sense of the great condescention and mercy of the Lord our God, who was pleased to renew the reaches of his power to several, who had many years made profession of the pure Truth, and yet dwelt in that which is impure, as drinking to excess and other evils, some of whom I knew, but did not know that they were there till the meeting was over; the weak were strengthened and the humble seekers encouraged, and great love flowed towards the youth: Returning again over Schuylkill we went to [Page 194] that called Evans's meeting, which was very open for doctrine, several not of our society being present: The first sentences that appeared in my view were, many are called, but few are chosen, attended with such weakness, and such a sense of my own fool­ishness and inability for handling that subject, that I was afraid, because I had a secret apprehension that some would incline to make an advantage of those words, but few are chosen, in applying them to strengthen themselves in the corrupt manner in which they hold election; but it appeared that the words, all have not obeyed, was the reason why so few are chosen: My mouth was opened in fear, even to trembling, yet with a secret hope and con­fidence that the Lord would, be mouth and wisdom, with desires that he would bind my attention to his own immediate instruction, that the language of his Spirit might be only uttered by me, and he was pleased to magnify his own Truth in the opening of these passages: I give this hint, that they who are concerned in the ministry may humbly trust in God, and not lean to their fears, knowledge, ex­perience or wisdom, in opening the mysteries of the Gospel, but confide in the key of David, which when it opens none can shut. Next day we were at Providence or Perkiomin meeting, which tho' poor, and truth low, peace was afterwards measu­rably enjoyed, from an evidence of having been honest according to the ability given; and the day following at Plymouth, faithful friends were com­forted in the gracious condescention of our holy head, who was pleased to favour with the abound­ings of the life and love of Truth; we then re­turned to Philadelphia with thankful hearts for the evidence of peace.

My companion returning home, I went in com­pany with my brother on first day morning to Frank­fort, having felt an engagement for a considerable [Page 195] time to visit that meeting; a sense of the declension of friends in this place, both in respect to numbers and the life of religion, was cause of heaviness of heart, but having performed my visit in faithful­ness according to ability, returned with a degree of peace to the evening meeting in the city, which was comfortable, staying there until the fifth day of the week, in which time I attended the usual meet­ings, one with the Negroes much to satisfaction, and also the meeting for sufferings I got safe home on seventh day the fourteenth of the first month, having travelled in this journey about four hundred and ten miles.

On the twenty-second of the second month, I again left home in order to attend the quarterly-meeting at Burlington, and some particular meet­ings in New-Jersey, as well on account of the year­ly-meeting's appointment, as my own sense of duty, of which I had the approbation of our monthly-meeting signified by a minute; in my way I at­tended the monthly-meeting in Philadelphia with some degree of satisfaction; then taking Chester or Adam's meeting in New-Jersey, reached Burling­ton on first day evening, the next day being the quarterly-meeting, at which with William Horne and my brother W ^m. Brown I had some service; after staying the youth's meeting, they left me and I went to a meeting on fourth day at a School-house, where several friends met, also divers others who perhaps had not been at any place of worship for sometime, and were easy about religion, to whom it became my concern to shew how disagreeable and loathsome that state was, from Rev. iii. 15. I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot; so then, because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth." It opened to me that a lukewarm condition, to hold a profession of religion so as to take it ill not to be thought a chris­tian, [Page 196] but at the same time to remain easy and not in earnest to experience the life, virtue, and power of christianity; not so cold as to forget the name, nor so hot or zealous as to witness the life of true religion, was very displeasing to the Almighty. A good degree of power attended the opening, and in treating on that passage, with much love to such lukewarm professors, which reached and tendered several beyond expectation; but no praise to man, tho' he may will or run, but to God who sheweth mercy.

At Chesterfield monthly-meeting my friend John Woolman met me the next day; a raw company attending on account of a proposal or two for mar­riage, which I suppose they expected to be there presented; it was a time somewhat low and distress­ing: The advice of the yearly-meeting not being here enough observed, which is against allowing such who are not members of our society to sit in our meetings for discipline, unless they are nearly related to the parties concerned, of which that meeting was modestly reminded; I was also grieved that matters were introduced too much at the judg­ment or pleasure of individuals, by reason that they are not in the practice of holding preparative meet­ings, the service of which, was particularly recom­mended to their consideration; I had some reward of peace in having attended this meeting: We were next at a meeting in Trenton with a few friends whom the spirit of the world (I thought) had much laid waste; there seemed more oppenness towards a few of other societies present, some of whom were tendered by Truth's testimony, which seemed to reach the witness in them; at Bordentown meet­ing next day, many were made thankful, the Di­vine presence being felt among us; from hence J. Woolman returned home, and John Sykes accom­panied me to Upper-Springfield, where the meet­ing [Page 197] was large, and through the Lord's mercy, open and satisfactory, the testimony of Truth flowing in his love towards the youth, many were tendered thereby, the faithful were encouraged and the negli­gent warned; after which I went to Burlington to attend that monthly-meeting, then to the burial of Margaret Butcher at Mansfield, which was a labo­rious painful meeting composed of a mixed multi­tude, yet something of an evidence attended truth's testimony, so that the meeting ended with solidity; from thence I went to Peter Harvey's and was thank­ful for the enjoyment of a peaceful quiet mind, tho' poor; next day was at Old-Springfield meeting, which was slow and late in gathering, dull and heavy in sitting, as will be the case, when and wheresoever the life and power of religion is want­ing, or not carefully sought after and waited for, by those who profess it, which was observed to them in the love of truth, and in the simplicity and plain­ness thereof, so that I left this meeting with a heavy heart, not from a sense of any omission of duty on my part; but lest they should too soon forget what manner of persons they saw themselves to be in the Light, that discovers and answers the witness, as face answers face in a glass. Then taking meetings at Mountholly, Rancocus, and visiting the widow of Peter Andrews, I was at a large meeting at Evesham on first day following; but the expectati­ons of the people being much outward, occasioned a painful deep waiting a considerable time, or at least I thought so, when at length I felt some pres­sure on my mind to stand up, which as I followed carefully, Truth opened into the state of the meeting to my admiration, that I was enabled therein with an innocent boldness to attend thereto in speaking, which yielded me great peace after the meeting, and I was thankful for that opportunity. Next day I attended Haddonfield monthly-meeting, at which [Page 198] were Samuel Nottingham and William Horne, whose company was comfortable and of advantage to the meeting. I then visited the meetings at Pilesgrove, Alloways Creek, Greenwich, lower Al­loways Creek, Salem, and one at Raccoon Creek, to which many sober people came not professing with us, also a large, and I believe to some a satis­factory meeting at Woodberry, the state whereof opened pretty clearly, the humble being instructed, but I was sensible of an opposition here to some part of what I had to deliver to a self-righteous state, yet through the mercy of our gracious Lord, I left this meeting with an evidence of peace, and an affectionate heart yearning towards them, then went to Haddonfield to attend the quarterly-meet­ing for Gloucester and Salem Counties, and from thence to the General Spring-meeting at Philadel­phia, after which I returned home, having been out five weeks and three days.

After this journey I did not go much abroad for more than a year, except to attend our quarterly meeting, and the yearly and general Spring-meet­ing at Philadelphia.

In the year 1759, I had some drawings in my mind to visit a few meetings in Maryland and Vir­ginia, also the yearly-meeting at West-River; in which having the concurrence of our monthly-meeting, I left home on the twenty-eighth of the fifth month and next day was at Gunpowder meet-meeting; then at Elkridge with a few friends and divers not professing with us, amongst whom there was an openness to hear the testimony of Truth de­clared; but for want of a steady walking in the professors thereof, it seems in a great measure laid waste; that night I lodged at the house of a kind man, but have to remark that natural affability in any one, unless it is sweetened by the baptism of the Spirit of Truth, is of little value; on fifth day [Page 199] I was at a new-meeting house at Indian Spring with a few friends, some of whom I fear, scarcely know what they profess, the next had a meeting at Sa­muel Plummer's house at Patuxent to satisfaction, and on seventh day the yearly-meeting at West-River began, which held until fourth day following, which was in the main the most open and satisfacto­ry meeting I was ever at in that place; I thought a disposition rather prevailed among the younger sort, to attend to the discipline more closely than in times past. Then taking a meeting at Sandy Spring, I proceeded to Fairfax, being about forty miles, where I had a comfortable meeting on first day, for which the hearts of many were made thankful to the au­thor of all good, the same day we had also a satis­factory opportunity in Mahlon Janney's family, his mother being indisposed, and the next day attended Monaquasy meeting in Maryland, where truth is at a low ebb, through the conduct of some un­faithful professors; our next was a precious meeting with a few sincere friends at Bush Creek, that even­ing I went to William Farquar's, having a meeting at Pipe Creek next day, which was pretty open, and satisfactory and one the day following at Pe­tapsco Forest amongst a withered people. Alas! to profess the truth and not possess it in sanctification of spirit, makes little meetings feel desolate; from thence I returned home to our monthly-meeting, being absent nineteen days and rode near three hundred and fifty miles, Samuel England being my companion.

In this year I was also engaged with my friend John Woolman in visiting some active members of our society, who held slaves, first in the city of Philadelphia, and in other places; also in New-Jersey, in which service we were enabled to go through some heavy labours, and were favoured with peace; Divine Love in a tender sympathy [Page 200] prevailing at times, with a hope that these endea­vours would not be in vain.

In the second month 1760, I acquainted our monthly-meeting, that in order to proceed in per­forming the appointment of the yearly-meeting, having also a draught in my own mind, I had an inclination to visit some meetings up the river Dela­ware, particularly the monthly-meeting of King­wood in New-Jersey, with which having the appro­bation of friends, I set out from home on the twenty-sixth of the fifth month following, and reach­ed the Bank meeting in Philadelphia the next day; from thence proceeded to the quarterly-meeting for Bucks County held at Buckingham, where tho' things were low, the affairs of the church were transacted in a good degree of amity and peace; it was a large meeting, there being a great appearance of young people, some very hopeful, who in the love of truth were exhorted to come up in their places, by learning discipline of the author thereof, viz. the Spirit of Truth, and they were cautioned against that very unbecoming and hurtful practice, tho' too common, of going out after worship, and standing without in companies talking when they should keep their places in the meeting, which should quietly and solidly proceed on the business coming before it; heavenly love was felt by the tender in spirit, which I hope will be remembered by many; the next day the general or youth's-meet­ing was large, open and satisfactory in the main; for which the name of the Lord was praised. Next day I spent in visiting a widow, also other aged and infirm friends, in the performance of which duty I had some satisfaction, and on first day was at Plumstead meeting, which was large and very com­fortable, the divine presence being felt, the power of Truth prevailed to the tendering of many; but such favour being not of him that willeth or run­neth, [Page 201] but of God that sheweth mercy, to him be­longeth the praise of all, who is worthly for ever. In the evening I attended a meeting at a School-house near Samuel Eastburn's, in which I had some particular service, the states of many present being very clearly opened before them in the love of the Gospel, which made deep impression on some who were much broken, and I believe it would be as dew on their hearts, if they would remain enough in the valley of humility.

I was the next day at Buckingham monthly-meeting, which in the time of business suffered much by the prevalence of a talkative noisy spirit, which mightily darkens counsel in those who give way to it, and leads into doubtful and trifling dis­putations; so that I left that meeting with pain of heart, in a sense that the time had been so lost that several weighty matters could not be brought under consideration to advantage, which were therefore continued until the next month.

Wrightstown monthly-meeting on third day was more satisfactory, the spirit for discipline rather reviving, and I hope a desire among the youth at least for an improvement; it too frequently is the case, that some of the elderly sort are so bigotted to their old forms and customs, that they will scarce­ly trouble themselves to examine whether these cus­toms are agreeable to the testimony of Truth, or whether through inattention they have not swerved and fallen short in various matters that now occasion a difficulty in the churches, which difficulties must be laboured under for a season by the baptized members, who nevertheless, as they keep their places will grow stronger.

Accompanied by my friend Thomas Ross I at­tended the Falls monthly-meeting, wherein I was comforted from a sense that a tender people were among them, tho' they felt a time of dearth, whom [Page 202] the Lord would in his own time water as his pecu­liar heritage; but this comfort was heavily ballasted from a secret fear attending me, that there were among them some, who like the heath in the desert, know not when good cometh, such who were easy in a dead form, and contented with a name, ne­glecting to wait for that transforming power, which would renew into the image and life of the Son of God; to whom in the love, and plainness of the Gospel, I was constrained to clear myself; the meet­ing for discipline was pretty open and ended in a good degree of sweetness; we went home with the wife of Joseph White, who was then on a religious visit to friends in Europe, and had a comfortable season in the family with the children, she appear­ing to be resigned in the absence of her husband, her spirit being sweetened with the truth in inno­cent quietude.

At Middletown monthly-meeting the next day truth seemed to be low, but we had some service in the discipline, that I came away with peace, and the day following in company with Joshua Ely went to Jacob Birdshal's in Amwell township New-Jersey, and had a meeting in his barn, which being a wet time) was small; there are few here who profess with us, some of whom seem to have nothing more than the name. Next morning we called at the house of an old professor, he and his wife were both ancient but full of talk; I felt a desire to visit them, and had a full time to clear myself in a close and plain manner, tho' in love to them. After which going to Kingwood or Bethlehem attended two meetings there on first day, when truth favoured in opening the states of the people in mercy to many, which may be of advantage if rightly remembered; then proceeding to the Drowned-lands so called, had there a meeting with a few professors who seemed too much withered, then taking another at Paulin's [Page 203] Kiln to pretty good satisfaction, returned to King­wood monthly-meeting than held at Hardwick; several hopeful young people belong thereto, the meeting was comfortable, friends rejoicing in the company one of another, and in the Lord for his merciful regard; next day I returned to Bethlehem, and from thence to Gwynedd meeting on first day, after which I rode to Uwchlan, about twenty-eight miles, from thence home, where I found all well, having been absent three weeks and rode about four hundred and sixteen miles in this journey.

Having a draught of love and a motion therein to visit the monthly and particular meetings within our own quarter, on the West side of Susquehanna river, with the concurrence of our monthly-meeting on that occasion, I set out from home on the seven­teenth of the tenth month in company with my brother-in-law James Brown, who likewise had the approbation of Goshen monthly-meeting for this purpose; we visited the meetings at Pipe Creek, Bush Creek and Monaquasy in Maryland, in the first of which the Lord was pleased to favour in opening the state of friends to the tendering the hearts of many; the other was satisfactory, and the last seemed to be a renewed visitation to a raw declining people, several of whom were tendered through the gracious long-suffering of Infinite Good­ness; we were next at the preparative meeting at Fairfax in Virginia; then at Goose Creek, where­in truth owned our service to the comfort of the faithful; we then attended the meeting of ministers and elders, also the monthly-meeting at Fairfax, like­wise the first day meeting there, and one that even­ing in Francis Hague's house, whose wife was indis­posed; several disorderly walkers being present, the Lord was pleased to open, and give ability to speak to their states in a measure of his heart tendering love, to the reaching the witness in some; after this [Page 204] returning to the widow Janney's, we had a preci­ous opportunity with her and children to our mutu­al satisfaction.

Our next meeting was at Potts's near the South-mountain, which was open for doctrine, several of other religious professions attending, who appeared loving and well satisfied; then at Crooked-run, near the North-branch of Shanandoa-river, in company with several other friends from Pennsylvania, some of us being a committee appointed by our quarter­ly-meeting, the friends living here having requested to have a meeting settled among them; the oppor­tunity was to some satisfaction, there being some young people who I hope will grow in the truth, tho' some of those who are elderly appear too su­perficial. From hence we went to Hopewell pre­parative meeting, also to a small meeting over the mountain near Jesse Pugh's, then we attended a select meeting at Hopewell, and at the same place on first day, which was large and solid, many there­in being much tendered, to the praise of the Lord whose mercy endureth for ever; in the evening we had also a satisfactory meeting at the widow Lup­ton's near Winchester. Next day we were at Hope­well monthly-meeting, where we found considerable weakness, as to the practice of the discipline, on which account we had some labour to the comfort of the well-minded; on our return we had meetings at Monallan, Huntington, Warrington, and New­berry in York County Pennsylvania, and a seasona­ble opportunity with friends in Yorktown, from whence I proceeded home with a thankful mind, having travelled about four hundred miles in this journey.

In the spring of the year 1761, having an en­gagement on my mind to visit Barbadoes and some of the adjacent Islands, I proposed the same to my brethren at home for their weighty consideration [Page 205] before I asked for their certificate, who after a time expressed their unity therewith, and gave me a cer­tificate, to which the quarterly-meeting signified their approbation; at our next yearly-meeting I laid my concern before the ministers and elders when for any thing that appeared, I had their unity and prayers; I came home intending to proceed before the winter sat in, and attended our general meeting at Nottingham in the tenth month, but in a few days after was taken ill with a fever, which with bodily pain and exercise of mind reduced me to a ve­ry low and weak state; ^* but the Lord was pleased to give me inward strength, influencing my mind with love to all men, and great love to the mem­bers of our religious society, the state whereof I saw in a clear manner, and I so far recovered as to attend our quarterly-meeting at London Grove in the eleventh month, at which I had an opportunity to clear myself to my humble admiration, and was inwardly comforted: Soon after which (my con­cern for going to Barbadoes continuing,) I went to Philadelphia to inquire for a passage, when my friends informed me of five vessels, three of which were near ready to sail; but understanding that all of them were prepared with guns for defence, I felt a secret excercise on my mind, so that I could not go to see any of them; but kept quiet from sixth day evening until second day morning, when I went to the meeting of ministers and elders, where I had a singular freedom to let friends know, "That I came to town in order to take my passage for Barbadoes, but found myself not at liberty to go in any of those vessels, because they carried arms for defence; for as my motive in going, was to publish the Glad-tidings of the Gospel, which teach­eth love to all men, I could not go with those who were prepared to destroy men, whom Christ Jesus our Lord and Master laid down his life to save and [Page 206] deliver from that spirit in which wars and fightings stand." I further added, "If I had a concern to visit in gospel love, those now living at Pittsburgh or Fort Duquesne, do you think it would become me to go along with a band of soldiers, as if I wanted the arm of flesh to guard me; would it not be more becoming to go with a few simple unarm­ed men? I now tenderly desire your sympathy and advice." One honest friend said, "Keep to the tender scruple in thy own mind, for it rejoices me to hear it; and several said, they believed it would be best for me to mind my own freedom." I then begged that friends would consider weightily, whe­ther it was right for any professing with us, to be owners or part owners, charterers, freighters, or insurers of such vessels that a friend could not be free to go passenger in on a gospel message: And as I returned to my lodgings, I felt so much peace of mind in thus bearing my testimony, that I thought if all my concern ended therein, it was worth all my trouble, tho' at that time I did not think it would, yet was quite easy to return home and wait until my way appeared more open; and as my con­cern went off in this manner, I have been since led to consider, that I could not have borne that testi­mony so fully and feelingly, if I had not been thus restrained. The wisdom and judgments of the Lord are unsearchable, and his ways past finding out, and happy are they who move at his command and stand stedfast in his counsel.

Our worthy friends John Stephenson, Robert Proud, Hannah Harris and Elizabeth Wilkinson of Great Britain being in this country on a religious visit, attended our yearly-meeting in Philadelphia this year, which was large and favoured with hum­bling goodness, and in a sense of the Divine presence that meeting ended very solidly; the services of these friends, I think, have been great among us in [Page 207] this Land, both in their public ministry, also in the discipline of the church, and the remembrance thereof is precious I believe to many whom the Lord is preparing for his work.

After this I spent a considerable time at and near home, except attending the quarterly, yearly-meet­tings, and the general spring-meetings as they came in course, in the mean time being careful to fre­quent the meeting I belonged to.

A new monthly-meeting being allowed to be established at Uwchlan in Chester County, it arose in my mind to salute friends there with an Epistle, a copy whereof I sent to their first meeting in the first month 1763, being as follows.

In the time of his illness in the year 1761, as men­tioned in page 205, he uttered divers weighty expressi­ons, some of which were committed to writing by a friend who was present, and being well worthy to be further preferred are here inserted, viz.

In this sickness he was reduced very low, and sometimes said it looked unlikely that he should re­cover, in the forepart thereof he often mentioned his being in great poverty of spirit saying, that be­fore he was taken ill, he felt such deep distress of mind, that he thought he was a cumber to the ground, and scarcely worthy to partake of the meanest necessaries of life, that even bread and water seemed too good for him.

[Page 209]On the fourth of the eleventh month, four friends being present, he spake in a very awful frame of mind nearly as follows, ‘Such build on a sandy foundation who refuse paying that which is called the Provincial or King's Tax, only because some others scruple paying it, whom they esteem, yet I have now clearly seen, as well as heretofore that the testimony of Truth if deeply attended to, will not be found to unite with warlike mea­sures: And that it will in the Lord's time be ex­alted above all opposition, and come to possess even the gates of it's enemies; though it may appear mean and contemptible in the eyes of some now a days, as the conduct of our primi­tive friends did, in divers respects in the world's view: And whosoever continues to trample upon, or despise the tender scruples of their brethren in relation to their clearness concerning war, will certainly find it a weight too heavy for them to bear.’

‘My testimony on this account so far as I have borne it, yields me satisfaction at this time; and the painful steps I have taken on sundry occasi­ons, both in publick and private to discharge my conscience in the sight of God, in giving faith­ful warnings to my brethren and countrymen, both in a civil and religious capacity, afford me comfort in this distressing season. I have clearly seen, and the prospect at this time adds Divine strength to my soul, That the God of Truth is determined in due time to exalt the mountain of his Holiness above all the hills of an empty profession; and all such who shall be admitted as clean inhabitants thereon, he wills them to be quite clean handed; and that they should become subject to the Lamb's Nature in every respect, and not shake hands with that [Page 210] nature which would tear and devour, nor in any shape contribute to the price of blood.’

At another time he said, ‘I have been led in the present dispensation allotted me, to behold the situation of divers particular friends, to whom I feel ardent affection, who seem to have given, or sold away for this worlds friendship, the testi­mony they should have born for the Prince of Peace, who is the High Priest of our profession; and for fear of breaking an outside unity, which will surely come to be broken, that the true uni­ty in the bond of peace may be exalted, have acted contrary to the former sight of their duty, and are thereby become halt, and dimsighted in several respects; such, though they still seem to desire it, cannot attain to the spotless beauty of Truth, nor approach to the top of the mountain; on whose account I am afraid, that some of them will never recover their former strength, nor at­tain to that dignity the truth would have placed upon them, if they had been faithful; the situa­tion of whom I have bewailed with anxiety of mind: I have been from my youth up accustom­ed to sorrow, and am a man acquainted with grief, and now remarkably; the lives of my brethren, and of all men appear exceeding pre­cious in my sight. It looks doubtful whether I shall ever see my friends met in a quarterly-meet­ing again, yet if it be the will of Divine Provi­dence I much desire it; having heretofore thro' a timerous disposition, lest I should offend some, and for fear of the frowns of elder brethren, concealed some things I should have declared: And if I should now never more have a publick opportunity, I speak thus in your hearing, to let it be known that I am still a well-wisher to all men, and that my integrity to the testimony of [Page 211] Truth, against all connections with wars and fighting, is now full as strong, or stronger than ever.’

On second day morning the ninth of the eleventh month, he said to his effect, viz. ‘I have been led to see the necessity there is for friends to beware of the custom of drinking drams, or strong spi­rits mixed; I have for many years rarely taken any, except on particular occasions, and then but a very small quantity: It is my judgment, that the less any of us accustom ourselves to the use of those spirits, the better it would be for our constitutions in general; I believe it is not consist­ent with the will of Divine Providence, that the course of nature should be obstructed and chang­ed, and our animal spirits corrupted through the unnatural warmth of spirituous liquors.’

‘From my present sense and feeling of that re­gular temperance which is truly pleasing in the Eyes of Heaven, I have mourned that the use of strong drink should become so prevalent amongst us who make so high a profession; whose bodies should be temples of the Holy Ghost, and should not be defiled, or tainted with any degree of in­temperance: In harvest there is generally plenty of other refreshment, which would keep the bo­dies of men as strong, and as capable to perform hard labour: Witness the health and strength of our fore-fathers in the first settlement of this country, when strong liquors were very little used amongst them.’

‘Alas! how dimness has overtaken us, when we compare ourselves, and our practices with the temperance and moderation of our fore-fathers, and the early settlers of this Province! How sumptuous now are the tables, how rich and costly the apparel, the diet, and the furniture, of many of our friends even in the country; [Page 212] but more especially in the city! How is the sim­plicity and plainness of Truth departed from, and pomp and splendid appearances taken their place! And how much cost and time might be spared from needless things, and applyed to bet­ter uses, to the bettering of our country, and helping to turn away the judgment which hangs over us, in part occasioned by these things.’

‘I desire that my grand children may be brought up in a plain simple way, accustomed to industry, and some useful business in the creation; not aiming at great estates, nor following others in that way; but give them useful learning, and rather chuse husbandry, and a plain calling for them in the country, than endeavour to promote them to ways of merchandize; for according to my observation from my youth up, the former is less dangerous, and less corrupting: I observed when I was in England, that some of the great­est and wisest men in a religious sense, were brought up at the plough tail, or in some labori­ous occupation; where the mind is less liable to be diverted from an awful sense of the creator, than in an easy idle education: How many great men there are, whom I could name, whose way of living is mean and homely, in this world's account, so that they have little more than real necessity requires; and yet they are rich in the best sense.’

The next day, being asked how he was, he said nearly as follows, ‘I have slept sweetly, and seem much refreshed, and tho' I feel myself very weak in body, I am full of Divine consolation, having never before had such prospects of Hea­venly things: It seems even as though my soul was united in chorus with glorifyed Saints and Angels both sleeping and waking. I now believe I shall recover, and that this sickness did not [Page 213] happen to me altogether on my own account; my way to recover is to be industrious and dili­gent in what I believe is required of me; I have many messages to deliver, both in publick, and privately to divers friends, whom I have seen to have missed their way, and have in a great mea­sure deprived themselves of the beauty where­with an humble abiding in the truth would have dignifyed them; and some of my elder brethren, for whom I feel an uncommon nearness of affec­tion, their lives never appeared to be more near to me, and I dare not conceal counsel from them, whether they will hear or forbear: Yea, I thought last night, I had a clear prospect of the situati­ons of many within the verge of our quarterly-meeting; it seemed as though the inward states of particulars were opened to me in full view; the pure Life in the brightness of Religion never appeared to be more precious; an uncommon earnestness attends my mind, for the recovery of the rebellious, hypocritical, and backsliding pro­fessors of all ranks amongst us: And if I get to our quarterly-meeting (which I believe I shall) and can have time allowed me when there, I have tidings, important tidings, as from a dying man, to many particulars: I have seen the myste­ry of the three days, or the Prophets laying three days and three nights in the belly of the fish: A wicked and adulterous generation are now as well as formerly, seeking for a sign to things spoken closely, but no sign shall be given them, save the sign of the Prophet Jonah: Our Savi­our's sufferings for mankind, and afterwards de­scending into the bowels of the earth prefigured that this followers must, after his pattern, de­scend into Spiritual Baptism; that they may rise again, freed from the dregs of nature, and from the corruptions of the creaturely passions, before [Page 214] they can be qualified to see, and suitably to ad­minister to the states of others. I have likewise seen the mystery of Ezekiel's sufferings, and bearing the sins of the house of Israel for the space of 390 days, which being accomplished, he was commanded to turn on the other side, and to bear the sins of Judah forty days, for the cor­ruptions of that princely tribe, who should have been as way-marks to others. My state has been for several years past, my deep Baptisms, and painful sittings in our meetings, like bearing the rod of the wicked, in which dispensation I have been sometimes ready to conclude with Elijah, that the altars were thrown down, and the Lord's Prophets slain, and I, a mean worthless servant left alone, and that my life was sought also; I have now seen the use of those dispensations to me, with the use of my late sickness, whereby I am reduced to great weakness of body; that I might be as a sign to this generation, and as with the mouth of a dying man, utter tidings without fear of giving offence; tidings which I have heretofore concealed, through a timerous disposition. I have seen at this season that the Lord hath preserved a living number in Israel, who have not bowed the knee to Baal, or the god of this world, I have also seen the conditions of many who have worshipped strange gods; and the corruption even of some who have assumed the station of ministers in our society, how they are deceived so far as to believe a lye; have seen lying visions, and have caused the weak to stum­ble; they have been speaking peace to the people as in the Lord's Name, when it was only a flash, or divination of their own brain, which has tend­ed to corruption and putrefaction in the church­es: And I have seen how that many little ones have laid groaning as under the burden and op­pression [Page 215] of these things, whose day of redemp­tion draweth near, when they shall be made by the Almighty, as bright stars in the firmament of his power; and those who are corrupt, and settled on their lees, shall be punished. In this dispensation I have abundantly witnessed the in­comes of that Peace and Love which passeth all understanding; neither my tongue nor capacity are able to set forth the bowels of compassion which I livingly feel to flow towards the whole bulk of mankind; and especially to my brethren in profession: Yea, it seems as though no affliction would be too great to endure for their sakes, if it might be a means to have some of them (whose situtation I have now been led to behold as particulars) restored to their former greenness and spiritual health, from whence they have fallen, and dimness has overtaken them. And tho' my outward man seems almost wasted, my spirit is strong in the Lord, and in the inexpres­sible strength of affection, I have found my spirit led from place to place over the country, to visit the souls in prison: Yea, I have beheld the dawn­ing of that precious morning, wherein corrup­tion shall be swept away from the church, and Righteousness and Truth begin to flourish great­ly: The day seems to me to be at hand; and what if I say, I have a degree of faith that some of the children now born may live to see it: Through innocent boldness, my face now seems to be as brass, and in the openings of the vision of life, I think I could utter Gospel Truths, and discover the mystery of iniquity which I have seen, without fearing any mortal man: I may be raised to live a while longer, though to die now, would be a welcome release to me: Yea, I could not desire to live, but for the longings of soul, and pantings of heart which I feel towards the [Page 216] precious seed in many whom I have now been led in spirit to visit. I have beheld their situation to be as lumps, taken or cut-out from the bowels of their mother the earth, tho' much hidden from the view of mortals; and are tempering and fashioning by the Divine Power, in different shapes, for divers uses; and I have seen that the Potter's Power is sufficient to pick out, and take away every gravel and little pebble of nature; many I have beheld in this situation, set by (as it were) out of sight to dry, until all the damp­ness and natural moisture is removed from them: Not being yet fitted to undergo the operation of burning; but when properly prepared, and thoroughly dried, many will be brought to the fire, burned, and glazed, so that they may retain the liquor or wine of the kingdom with a sweet taste, without any degree of taint, or nauseous smell.’

On the twelfth of the eleventh month early in the morning, he spake to this purpose; ‘I believe I must endeavour to go to our quarterly-meeting, (which began the fourteenth) although as to bo­dily strength I am very weak: There my mind is remarkably, sleeping and waking; there I hope to be relieved of some things which seem to re­main like a fire in my bones; I dare not forbear, I know it is the way for me to recover my strength outwardly, and to be eased of that which is a heavy burden inwardly; I see I must go, and believe I shall recruit, and gain strength every day,’ (which was the case accordingly.) He fur­ther said, ‘My mind has for several days been at­tended with an uncommon sweetness, the like I never knew for so long together, with a succession of soul-melting prospects: I have freedom to relate what I had a sight of this morning before day, as I lay in a sweet slumber,’ (which was nearly in these [Page 217] words,) viz. ‘I thought I saw Noah's Ark floating on the deluge, or flood, with Noah and his Fa­mily in it, and looking earnestly at it, I beheld the window of the Ark, and saw Noah put out the dove; and I beheld her flying to and fro, for some time; but finding no rest for the soal of her foot, I thought she returned, and I saw Noah's hand put forth to take her in again. Af­ter some time I thought I beheld her put forth a second time, and a raven with her, the dove fled as before for some time, and then I saw her return with a green olive leaf in her mouth, as a welcome token of the flood's being abated; I thought I saw also the raven fly, cawking, to and fro, but he did not return; and it came into my mind, this is a ravenous bird, and seeks only for prey to satisfy his own stomach, otherwise he might have returned to the Ark with good tidings, or some pleasant token, as well as the dove: Again, after a short space, I thought I beheld the mountain tops, and some of the tree tops, beginning to appear above the waters, and that I could perceive the flood abate very fast; and as the waters fell away I saw the trees began to bud and a gradual greenness of new leaves came upon them, and I heard the voice of the turtle, and saw many symptoms of a pleasant and happy season approaching, more than I can now relate; and the prospect thereof ravished my soul; I beheld the trees blossoming, the fragrant valleys adorned with grass, herbs, and pretty flowers, and the pleasant streams gushing down towards the ocean; indeed, all nature appeared to have a new dress; the birds were hopping on the boughs of the trees, and chirping; each in their own notes, warbled forth the praise of their creator. And whilst I beheld these things, a saying of the Prophet was brought fresh in my [Page 218] memory, and applicable as I thought to the view before me, viz. The mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands; instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree, and instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree, and it shall be to the Lord for a name, for an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off,’ see Isaiah, lv. 12-13.

‘When I awoke, the prospect remained clear in my mind, and had a sweet relish, which now con­tinues with me; and the application of the Vision seems to me in this manner: The flood which appeared to cover the face of the earth, is the corruption and darkness which is so prevalent over the hearts of mankind; the Ark represents a place of safe (tho' solitary) refuge, wherein the Almighty preserves his humble attentive people, who, like Noah, are aiming at perfection in their generation. The dove sets forth the innocent, harmless, and loving disposition, which attends the followers of the lamb who are always willing to bring good tidings, when such are to be had: The raven represents a contrary disposition which reigns in the hearts of the children of disobedi­ence, who chiefly aim at gratifying their own sensual appetites; the waters gradually abating, the trees appearing, and afterwards budding, the voice of the turtle, and the pleasant notes of the birds, all seem clear to me, to presage the approach of that glorious morning, wherein cur­ruption and iniquity shall begin to abate, and be swept away; and then every thing shall appear to have a new dress: I am fully confirmed in the belief, that that season will approach, which was foretold by the prophet, wherein the glory of the Lord shall cover the earth, as the waters cover the sea; and in a sense of these things my soul is overcome. I feel the loving kindness of the [Page 219] Lord Almighty, yet waiting for the return of backsliders with unspeakable mercy; and my soul in a sense of it, seems bound stronger than ever, in the bonds of a gospel travail; which travail I hope will encrease, and spread amongst the faithful, for the enlargement of the church; that the nations may flock unto Sion; which shall become an eternal excellency, even the joy of the whole earth.’

Again he expressed his having a prospect of the morning; and said, ‘The day star is risen, which presages the approach of the morning; I have seen it in its lustre, and have a lively sense of that saying being again fulfilled in the New-Cre­ation, (see Job, xxxviii. 7.) The morning stars sang together, and the sons of God shouted for joy. I have heard their sound intelligibly, and my heart is comforted therein. The potsherds of the earth may clash together for a season; but the Lord in due time will bring about the reforma­tion: The predictions of Archbishop Usher, (mentioned in the preface to Sewell's History) have come fresh in my memory, and nearly cor­respond with the sense I have, that a sharp and trying dispensation is to come upon the profes­sors of christianity; wherein the honest and up­right hearted shall be hid as under the hollow of the Lord's hand; when rents, divisions and com­motions shall encrease amongst the earthly-mind­ed, and one branch of a family be at strife with another, like the daughter-in-law against the mother-in-law, &c. and happy will it be for those who endeavour to stand ready for the approach of such a dispensation.’

CHAP. VII.

IN the spring of the year 1764, I acquainted my friends that I had a desire to attend the quar­terly-meeting at Salem in New-Jersey, wherewith having their concurrence, on the seventeenth of the fifth month I left home and went to Wilmington, and next day in company with several friends from thence by water to our friend Joshua Thompson's at the mouth of Salem Creek; at the meeting of ministers and elders we were comfortted together through the goodness of the Lord; on first day there was a large gathering of a mixed multitude, and quiet, the Divine power being felt and Gospel Truths preached, by the influence of the love whereof many hearts were tendered; tho' I thought the beauty and solemnity of the meeting was a little marred by an appearance that was continued too long; to begin in the life and conclude in the power and life, is becoming a minister of the Gospel.

On second day morning the meeting of ministers and elders was again held, it was a precious instruc­tive season in the love of Christ our holy head, by which the humble were united; afterwards we had a large meeting for public worship, wherein the testimony of Truth flowed freely; the call to the [Page 221] ministry and qualification necessary to preach the Gospel being clearly set forth; in humble admira­tion I could renewedly acknowledge, Thou art, Oh Lord! Strength in our weakness, mouth and wisdom, yea all things to thy humble depending servants whose trust is on thee, waiting for thy putting forth in the way, and gently going before them, blessed be thy holy name for ever. In transacting the affairs or the discipline a spirit of brotherly love prevailed; the youth's-meeting at Pilesgrove was also large and edifying, the great Shepherd of Israel being pleased to stretch forth the crook of his Love, for gather­ing of the straying youth from pursuing after lying vanities and worldly pleasures; ministring reproof to hypocrites and formal professors, yet comforting his children and humble dependant followers, to the praise of his own eternal name; the meeting of ministers and elders sat again by adjournment, when we had an uniting parting season; I returned to my friend Joshua Thompson's, next day to a meeting at Wilmington, and in the evening home, being thankful that I had been enabled to perform this small journey.

After which having a strong desire to attend the general-meetings at Goshen and Uwchlan, on the eighth of the sixth month my dear wife and I left home, tho' I was very unwell with a cold taken in my return from Salem, and a fever attending me eve­ry day; we attended Uwchlan meeting on first day, also one in the evening at the house of our brother Daniel Brown, which was dull and exercising, from a sense of the prevalence of a spirit which leads many into forgetfulness of God, after the vanities, love and pleasures of this perishing world. Next day the general meeting at Goshen was very large, and much disturbed by the going out and coming in of many, but thro' Divine goodness it came to a better settlement before it concluded, when solid [Page 222] friends in a degree of the renewing of the Lord's comforting love, were refreshed in him and one ano­ther; a visitation being continued to the youth, the praise whereof belongs to the great Author of all good!

The general-meeting at Uwchlan on the day fol­lowing was also large, and measurably attended with the ownings of truth, under the influence of which, admonition and counsel flowed freely to the youth, the Divine witness in several of whom was reached, and the name of the Lord praised, who is for ever worthy!

In these large meetings, as on all other such oc­casions, it is necessary in order for a proper qualifi­cation to minister to the people, humbly to wait to know the inward life, and baptizing virtue of the spirit and power of Jesus Christ, our all in all, with­out whose help we can never do his work to his praise, but instead of gathering the flock, we shall minister to their scattering from the true place of feeding. After being at the preparative meeting at East-Caln and a meeting at Uwchlan, we returned home thankful to the Lord, who had mercifully supported us in this small journey, both of us being weakly and indisposed in health.

In the ninth month 1767, I attended our yearly-meeting in Philadelphia, which held a week, all the sittings whereof both for worship and discipline, were through the overshadowing of Divine favour, instructive to the humble waiters; and the testimo­ny of Truth, particularly against the unjust and unrighteous practice of slave-keeping, greatly pre­vailed; and friends were fully cautioned against be­queathing by will, as slaves to their posterity, the poor Negroes, their fellow-creatures, it being an unlawful act in the sight of the great and righteous parent of all mankind. This meeting concluded with a degree of awe and reverence, under the sweeten­ing [Page 223] influence of the Father's Love: I returned home to our general-meeting at Nottingham, which was held on the fourth and fifth days of the tenth month.

After which having a strong desire to attend the general-meeting at Caecil in Maryland, I sat out in company with several other friends, and reached the first sitting of the meeting, which was small and dull; the public meeting next day was very large and attended with some satisfaction, those of other societies who were there were mostly pretty quiet; at the meeting of ministers and elders the want of solid elders being evident, the considera­tion thereof was proposed to the quarterly-meeting, which was held in the afternoon of the same day, when it was recommended to the monthly-meetings to observe the directions of the yearly-meeting, to chuse well qualified solid friends for that weighty station.

The meeting for public worship was again large, being attended by many of other societies, and my brother W ^m. Brown was largely opened in doctrine to the edification of the auditory; after which I had a short testimony tending to close the forego­ing: In the meeting for discipline I had occasion to lament that there were too few who feelingly understood the weight of such meetings, or were clean handed to move therein, either to their own profit or the help of their brethren; yet there are a few who seem to be under a preparation for the work, and I hope will grow in their gifts. On third day morning business began again, and ended full as well as I expected. I thought the Lord was mercifully pleased to open considerable instruction to such among them, who had ears to hear and hearts disposed to receive it. The meeting for wor­ship held that afternoon, was not so large as on the other two days, the service thereof lay weightily [Page 224] on me, and I had a full opportunity to relieve my mind towards the people, in opening to them the nature and ground of spiritual worship and true prayer, also the true call and qualification for gospel ministry, declaring what it was to live of the Gospel, in opposition to a forced maintenance; Truth favoured and the people were solid, several being much reached; the meeting ending to satis­faction, with a sense of humble thanksgiving in many hearts to the Lord, whose mercies through Christ Jesus are to his people yea and amen for ever.

His wife being under many years affliction with a Cancer on her head, which was now so greatly in­creased as to require his daily affectionate attendance, confined him mostly at home until after her decease, which was in the seventh month 1770; she was a steady examplary friend: Concerning whom the month­ly-meeting of Nottingham give the following testimony.

Having an inclination to attend Chester quarterly-meeting, also some meetings within the verge there­of; with the concurrence of friends I sat out on the first of the second month 1771, attended New-Garden monthly-meeting next day, in which the love of our merciful Father was measurably felt, to the comfort of the humble in heart, and on first [Page 226] day at Birmingham, on the next had a meeting in the house of Richard Downing at Milltown, with people of various sorts; the Lord was pleased to assist with wisdom and ability, in measure, to di­vide his word in reproof, counsel, admonition and caution, to the praise of his own name; on third day at Pikeland was a pretty full meeting tho' a very cold day, Truth was felt to be near us; a pro­fitable opportunity was had also in the family of the widow Meredith, the being weakly did not get out to their meeting; next day had a cold ride to Nant­mell, where was a large full meeting and I believe beneficial to many present, by the tendering good­ness of the blessed Shepherd of spiritual Israel, the crook of whose heavenly love is still stretched forth to his sheep, who are not yet acquainted with the true fold of rest and safe feeding place; his own works praise him: Uwchlan monthly-meeting on the day following was a laborious season, yet through Divine favour made comfortable to the weary tra­vellers, who had to rejoice together in a participa­tion of the consolation of Israel, and therein to worship his name who is worthy for ever. Goshen monthly-meeting was also laborious; when former experience is fed upon, or the love or honour of the world and fleshly ease takes place, a spirit grows up in the church, which cannot judge for God and his Truth; for the judgment is his, in whose fear his children are made to rejoice, when his presence is known, and his humbling goodness manifested to his people. On first day I was at Middletown meeting, in which there seemed to be a tender visitation and call to the youth, to acquaint them­selves with the God of their Fathers, his love being measurably witnessed among us. The quarterly-meeting for Chester held at Concord, was solid and edifying, through the extending of the Heavenly father's love to the children of his family; from [Page 227] thence I went to Wilmington, visited some of my aquaintance, and had a comfortable sitting in the family of David Ferriss, his son Benjamin being ill in a consumption: I also attended the monthly-meeting, which tho' a searching time, was I be­lieve to the comfort and edification of many, the uniting love of truth being experienced, rested on friends in the time of the business; after which I went to the monthly-meetings at Center and Brad­ford, and from thence to our quarterly-meeting at London-Grove; then returned home, having great peace in performing this journey, and being favoured with ability, felt a degree of reverent thankfulness to the Lord, who is all things to his servants, who truly abide in nothingness of self, he is therefore worthy of all obedience and honour for ever.

On the twenty-first of the third month, I left my habitation in order to attend our general spring-meeting at Philadelphia, in my way called at Wil­mington, and was at the burial of Benjamin Ferriss before mentioned: Our spring-meeting was to me very comfortable in a sense of the living presence of the Holy Head of the church, in which his true children were edified, and strengthened and mutu­ally comforted one in another; blessed be his name for ever!

At this meeting the brethren both ministers and elders, apprehend it their duty in the love of Christ, to appoint such who are willing to give up their names to attend the several large or general meet­tings, which come in course in the ensuing summer before our yearly-meeting, to which they are ex­pected to give some account of the meetings so at­tended by them, and feeling a small draught in my mind to be at that at Duck Creek, I gave in my name to attend it.

[Page 228]On my return from Philadelphia I sat with friends at their week day meeting in Wilmington, which through the continued goodness of the Lord, was in some measure a profitable season, I hope to ma­ny: Here I felt a strong desire to see the friends to­gether, who are owners of the grist-mills lately built at and near Brandiwyne, and upon notice thereof, they met the same afternoon at the house of Daniel Byrnes, when I had an opportunity to discharge my mind in an affectionate manner, of what had impressed it towards them, which they appeared to receive in a degree of the same love, and as I believe it came from the author of all good, who is alone worthy of praise, a blessing may attend that opportunity if rightly remembered.

On the twenty-sixth of the fourth month being accompanied by a friend and neighbour, I went to Duck Creek, and was at the monthly-meeting there the next day, which was heavy, occasioned by the prevalence of a formal, lukewarm worldly spirit over many of the professors belonging thereto, but through the long suffering and continued mercy of God, there seemed to be a renewed awakening vi­sitation to some. The meeting on first day was ve­ry large, the Lord being mercifully pleased to open the states and conditions of many, in a particular instrumental manner, and in a measure of his holy heart tendering power, which reached the witness, divers were humbled, and the meeting ended with thanksgiving, prayer and praises to the Lord who is worthy for ever.

On second day the meeting was not so large, oc­casioned by a fair being near, nevertheless it was a season in which the doctrine and mysteries of the kingdom of Christ were largely set forth to the people, by the influence of the spirit, and in the love and wisdom of the holy high Priest, who is all in all to his people.

[Page 229]We had also three select opportunities with the ministers and elders, among whom there was great apparent weakness, the reasons whereof were plain­ly made known to them, from the sense given in the love and fear of him, who will not own and unite with such as are defiled, which plainness we had a hope would be profitable.

Next day several of us were at George's Creek, which meeting is much declined; where the love of the world and its alluring vanities prevail on the professors of truth, their affections are drawn from God, they grow slack in attending meetings, and are a bad example one to another; it was a hard meeting, but through the love of Christ, a measure of gospel anointing enabled to open to them their states in great love and plainness, which seemed to affect some particulars, may it be remembred with reverence before him who is the author of all good, and praise worthy for ever!

Soon after my return home, feeling my mind engaged to attend the quarterly-meeting in Bucks County, with a few other meetings in Philadelphia quarter, I set out on the twenty-sixth of the fifth month, accompanied by Samuel England, and on the third day of the week following was at the Bank meeting in Philadelphia, which was comfort­able; on fifth day at the quarterly-meeting at Buck­ingham, and next day at the general youth's meet­ing, which was large and divinely favoured, then visiting several indisposed friends, on first day I attended Plumstead meeting, and in that week the several monthly-meetings of Buckingham, Wrights­town, the Falls and Middletown, also a public meet­ing at Makefield; was on first day at Bristol, from whence I went with my friend James Thornton to their afternoon meeting at Byberry, had an ap­pointed one at the same place next day; and in that week visited the several neigbouring meetings, one [Page 230] of which was a general youth's meeting at Hors­ham, large and instructive, wherein the love of our Heavenly Father was felt by his truly depending children; then taking meetings at Gwynedd, Pro­vidence, Richland, Oley, Exeter, Maiden Creek, Reading, and on first day at the Forest, I from thence rode to Uwchlan, and on second day had a meeting at Milltown in the house of Robert Valen­tine, then proceeded home, having rode about 370 miles in this journey, in which I was favoured with my health, and held travelling beyond my expecta­tion. At the gentle drawings of Truth I left my habitation, having little prospect of much before me, but was preserved in a quiet resignation to the Divine will to do whatsoever should appear my duty, beseeching the Lord to enable me to watch against every appearance of self in the great and pure work of declaring the gospel to the people, and have great cause to be humbly thankful, that the Lord was pleased to own my service beyond expectation, to the exaltation of his own truth; blessed be his name for ever!

In the tenth month following I went to the yearly-meeting at Third-haven in Maryland, the meetings for worship held three days, and each of them were very large, and many Gospel Truths were delivered in the love and power thereof, by which the wit­ness of God was reached in the hearts of many of the people, and friends comforted and made thank­ful to the Lord, that he was pleased to own us with the overshadowing of his heavenly love; on fourth day morning the affairs of the discipline were finish­ed, when we had a parting meeting, which through Divine favour was a precious time to many. I had never been at the yearly-meeting when held at this place before, and now witnessed my heart enlarged in the love of the Gospel to declare the same among the multitude of people who professed the Christian [Page 231] name, and to remind them of their conduct and dress, how different it was from that of those who formerly suffered martyrdom for their religion as now professed by the members of the Church of England so called, who own the reformers as their predecessors.

Feeling a draught of love in my mind towards some meetings in New-Jersey, particulartly at Egg-harbour, having the concurrence of my friends at home, I set out on second day the first of the sixth month 1772, and taking in my way a meeting at Haddonfield, and another at the house of my friend Thomas Evans, which through the presence and power of the searcher of hearts was made profita­ble to some there present, reached Little Egg-harbour on seventh day, and the next attended the yearly-meeting, in which the love of the gospel was felt to flow towards a loose, raw, uncivilized people, who appeared to attend there more out of curiosity, than a reverent thoughtfulness of worshiping almighty God; in the afternoon of the same day the conti­ [...]ce of Divine favour was remarkably evident towards the inhabitants, for which the Lord made the hearts of his sensible children thankful to him­self who is the author of all good; the meeting on second day was also very large, in which the true children of the family were comforted in Christ Jesus the Lord and holy head of the church, by the anointing virtue of whose precious name and power, they were made to rejoice in the company one of another; here parting with many valuable beloved friends, I went over the bay, to the upper meeting on Great Egg-harbour shore, which was large consi­dering the notice, here I was comforted in knowing for whose name sake I was made willing to leave my company, and turn that way, the Lord being pleased to own my service by the inspiration of a degree of his heavenly wisdom and love, to speak [Page 232] to the states of those that were present, blessed be his name who is worthy for ever. I went home with my friend Joseph Mapes, next day attended the lower meeting, which through Divine favour was a precious season, then passed over to the Cape, and next morning was at a meeting at the upper house, where many not of our society attended, to whom the doctrine of the Gospel flowed in describing the nature of pure and undefiled religion, and wherein it consisted; the people were still and quiet. In the afternoon of the same day I had a meeting at the lower house, which is called eight miles down the Cape, this was an heart tendering time, for which friends were made truly thankful; I thought it seemed like to be my last visit to these parts. From thence I went to Cohansy, 45 miles, to Mark Reeve's where I rested the next day, being very weary and almost overcome with hard traveling; on first day I was at Greenwich meeting, and in the afternoon at Alloways Creek, which was very large, many of other societies attending, the doc­trine of Truth flowed to them in a measure of the love thereof; next day the meeting at Salem was held in the Court-house, the meeting-house being taken down, and a new one building; on third day I was at the upper meeting near Alloways Creek, which through Divine Goodness was an instructive time to some seekers; the passage treated upon was our Lord's description of the pharisee and pub­lican who went up to the temple to pray, the great difference in the form of their addresses was opened in a clear manner, by the spirit of him who gave forth that parable, to my humble admiration, which was cause of reverent thankfulness, they who were sensible being encouraged, and the conceited form­alists rebuked.

From hence I went to John Davis's, had a com­fortable opportunity with some indisposed friends in [Page 233] his family; then taking meetings at Pilesgrove, Up­per Greenwich, and Woodberry, was on first day morning at Haddonfield, and in the afternoon at Newtown, which last was laborious, tho' I believe being blessed to several present, was thereby made profitable; that evening I went over to Philadelphia weary in body, but chearful in mind, being sensi­ble of a degree of thankfulness for the continued favour of my Lord and Master, who had been to me a quiet habitation and secret support in this journey. After staying two days, and on each at­tending meetings in the city, I took Wilmington meeting in my way home, having travelled about three hundred and fifty miles, attended about twen­ty meetings, besides having several comfortable op­portunities in families.

Being under an appointment with other friends of our quarterly-meeting, to visit friends of the monthly-meetings of Warrington and Fairfax, I set out on the seventh of the tenth month, and taking a meeting with friends in Yorktown, we were at Warrington on first day, then visited the several meetings of Newberry, Huntington, and Monallen, in which Truth owned our service in a good de­gree; our labour of love appearing to be kindly received, I hope may be useful; on the first day following five of us were at Pipe Creek meeting, then at Bush Creek, Monaquesy, Fairfax, Goose Creek, and Southfork, wherein the Lord was pleas­ed in his wonted goodness and mercy to magnify his own name who is praise worthy for ever.

After a seasonable opportunity with friends held in the house of Abel Janny at parting with them, we returned to Fairfax meeting on first day, where under the influence of the Divine presence, the tes­timony and doctrine of Truth flowed freely to the people, in a humble sense whereof, praises ascended to his holy name who is over all worthy for ever.

[Page 234]Several of our company now returning home­wards, three of us not being easy yet to return, two of us went to visit a friend who lay in a lan­guishing condition, which I believe was serviceable, the love of our Heavenly Father being in some de­gree felt among us; on third day we had a meeting at the Gap (so called) among a raw people, where Divine Goodness measurably favoured the opportu­nity; on the day following we attended Fairfax pre­parative meeting, the two next days we visited some sick friends, and on seventh day were at the month­ly-meeting, which was in the main satisfactory; on first day the meeting was thought to be the largest ever held at this place, and the Gospel being preach­ed in the love of it to the tendering the hearts of many, the meeting ended in humble thanksgiving to the holy Author of all good; next day in company with several friends of Fairfax, I attended a meet­ing at Monaquesy, where some came who did not make religious profession with us, which was an in­structive tendering season through the Lord's good­ness; after a meeting at Bush Creek, and another at Pipe Creek, I travelled to Gunpowder, and attend­ed the quarterly-meeting for the Western shore of Maryland, likewise the general-meeting for worship on first day, at which were several not of our society whose hearts were reached by the love of truth; next day I had a meeting at the little Falls, and from thence returned home, where after staying three days, I went to our quarterly-meeting at Lon­don Grove, the two last days of which afforded some comfort and satisfaction. On the fourteenth of the twelfth month I went to Wilmington, on which day Margaret the wife of John Perry was buried after a short illness, I spent part of the even­ing in his afflicted family to satisfaction, staying in the town two days I attended their monthly-meet­ing, and thought there was a want of more mem­bers [Page 235] deeply baptized for the work which appears necessary in the church at that place; at this time Deborah the daughter of David Ferriss being in a declining consumptive state, and wasting fast, I visited her to my satisfaction, she appearing to be in a resigned humble frame of spirit, was an exam­plary young woman whom I esteemed; then going to Center and Hockesson meetings, I was at New-Garden on first day, which I thought thro' Divine favour an instructive profitable meeting to myself, and perhaps to some others; the subject which opened was the necessity of not leaning to, or fol­lowing any man, but of attending to the pure mo­tion, and secret influence of the Spirit of Truth manifested in the heart, in the meekness, and purity of the wisdom from above, it was that by which the churches were gathered, and the mem­bers, preserved in the unity of the one blessed Spi­rit, and perfect bond of peace and good order.

I next attended our preparative and monthly-meetings, after which was confined mostly at home for about a month by a fever, during which time my mind was often much humbled under a sense of the prevalence of a dull, lukewarm spirit, as to the life and power of Truth; earthly mindedness, and the cares and cumbers concerning the things of this present life having drawn the minds of many into death; I never more clearly saw the necessity there was for us who profess the truth, singly to attend to the gentle instructions of the Holy Spirit thereof, which only doth, and ever will, lead and guide into all Truth, and preserveth from those errors and failings which are so abundantly evident among us, whereby our hands are weakened in respect to a careful exercise of the discipline of the church.

CHAP. VIII.

BEING somewhat recovered of my indisposition of body, I sat in our select meeting of mini­sters and elders on the first of the second month 1773, in which I was comforted under a sense of our being owned in some degree by the visitation of Divine love, and afterwards attended our quarterly-meeting at London-Grove, each sitting whereof was favoured with the continuance of heavenly help, to the encouragement of the humble waiters. I re­turned home with thankfulness in my mind to the Lord, who had furnished me with strength in my weak state to sit with my friends, in which we ought to be good examples; I attended our own meeting on the fifth and first days following, and in the same week went to Wilmington to the burial of Deborah Ferriss before mentioned, after which, a solid and profitable meeting was held.

On the twenty-sixth of the third month I set out from home in order to attend our general spring meeting at Philadelphia, but did not get there in time for the first sitting thereof, such of them as I [Page 237] did attend, I thought were in the main, times of Divine favour; on my return homeward I was at a small meeting at Chester, also the general meeting at Wilmington, and soon after the general meeting at Duck. Creek, and their monthly-meeting preceed­ing it; the meeting there on first day was large, and tho' a mixed multitude attended, it was solid through the overshadowing of heavenly power, the Lord was pleased to open the mysteries of the king­dom, influencing my heart to preach the Gospel in the love thereof to my humble admiration, and many were tendered, for which renewed visitation and favour, a sacrifice of thanksgiving ascended from the hearts of his children, to the all powerful and merciful God who is worthy for ever; the meeting on second day was a time of consolation to the heavy hearted, instruction to the humble seek­ers, and a season of strengthening to the weak, blessed be the name of the Lord for his mercies endure for ever: I was next at George's Creek meeting, in which friends were encouraged, and in some degree refreshed divers not of our society attending; the doctrine of personal election and reprobation as held by some, was refuted, and it was clearly pointed out wherein the election stood, viz. In Christ the seed, which cleaved unto, and cho­sen by man, for his true instructor and leader by his light and witness in the heart as a reprover for sin, and so followed and obeyed, man comes to know him­self elected in him. I went home with George Ford at Back Creek, and had an opportunity in his fa­mily I hope to some profit.

Towards the fall of the year I had a draught in my mind to attend some meetings in the Jerseys, particularly the quarterly-meeting at Shrewsbury, of which having acquainted my brethren at home, and had there concurrence, after attending our yearly-meeting in Philadelphia and returning from [Page 238] thence, I set out in company with my friend Sa­muel England on the twelfth of the tenth month, but was detained at Philadelphia by a fever which held me several days, yet I so far recovered as to proceed on our journey, taking on our way meet­ings at Mountholly, at a School-house near Shreve's mount in upper Springfield, in which I had a con­cern to warn the youth to beware of Deism, and to shew the ground and cause of falling into that er­ror, also at upper Freehold, and in a friend's house near that called Robbins's meeting; there seems to be a visitation to the youth in that place, to which if they are faithful that meeting may again increase; we reached the meeting of ministers and elders at Shrewsbury, in which truth owned the lovers there­of; the public meetings on the three following days were large, and thought to be the most quiet and satisfactory which had been known of late years there; the affairs of the discipline were, as I thought, pretty well conducted; finding myself not clear of the members of our society at this place, I therefore proposed to several friends that they would favour me so much as to meet on their week day meeting day, which I understood they usually had omitted in this week, requesting that they would acquaint their members with my desire of seeing them, their children, and families together; I therefore waited until fifth day, when they gene­rally met, which gave me an opportunity comfort­ably to clear myself towards friends here, to the encouragment of the sincere, being led to shew the active members the cause of dwarfishness, the love of the world, and its friendships, choaking the good seed, which should grow and bear rule: I was thankful for this opportunity, and left them with the enjoyment of a quiet mind; from hence we passed to Rahway, had a meeting at Woodbridge, and another at Plainfield, in both which truth [Page 239] owned my service; I thought there was a tender visitation renewed to friends in those parts, in the sense whereof I was thankful, and that I had been favoured with strength to pay them a visit in the love of my great and good master, may I ever walk answerable to his manifold favours, who is praise worthy for ever! We were next at Stonybrook meeting, which was made precious in the renewing of Divine favour, and then at Trenton with a peo­ple who have much lost the life and savour of truth; from thence going to Byberry and Philadelphia, I reached the quarterly-meeting, at Concord which be­gan on the sixth of the eleventh month, the next day I went to Chichester, where I was enabled to speak to the states of the people in the love of truth, which may be useful if remembred in a right man­ner, and returned to the quarterly-meeting on se­cond day, which was comfortable, the Divine pre­sence being felt, our friend Elizabeth Robinson was there, and had good service; on third day I attend­ed the general meeting at Chester, which was poor and dull; the expectations of the people being too much outward, they were disappointed; then at­tending the monthly-meeting at Wilmington, tar­ried their meeting the next day, and proceeded to our quarterly-meeting at London Grove, at which we had the company of our friends Robert Walker, Elizabeth Robinson, and Mary Leaver from Great-Britain; it was a season of refreshment and comfort to many friends; then went home, having travelled in this journey about 360 miles.

In the third month 1774, I attended our general spring-meeting in Philadelphia, the divers sitttings whereof were divinely favoured; and after it, the general meeting at Wilmington, which was held chiefly in silence, and on that account remarkable.

Having an engagement on my mind for some time to visit friends on Long-Island, with some ad­jacent [Page 240] meetings, I laid it before my brethren, who gave me their certificate for that purpose; and on the third of the fifth month I set out on the journey, having the company of a friend from Wilmington, taking a meeting at Philadelphia, we reached New-York, attended their morning and afternoon meet­ings on first day, and had an opportunity with di­vers friends in the evening, which was to me (at least) instructive, and I believe through Divine goodness profitable to some others. We then had meetings at West-Chester, Mamaroneck, and the Purchase, the last being a monthly-meeting; these opportunities were close and searching, the testimony of Truth was encouraging to the well-minded, but very sharp to the formalists, and my mind was made thankful for the blessing of peace in the discharge of my duty. We next attended meetings at Flushing on Long-Island, Cowneck, Westbury, Matinicock, Sequitogue and Bethpage, then at Newtown, the monthly-meeting at West­bury, and the quarterly-meeting at Flushing, where the yearly-meeting began the next day, which held four days, and on the whole I believe it may be said, that the authority of Truth was in some good de­gree felt to keep down forward spirits both in the ministry and discipline, which was cause of thank­fulness to the Lord who rules among his children, and is worthy of all praise for ever; here I had the company of our dear friends Robert Walker, Eliz ^a. Robinson, and Susanna Lightfoot, who intending for Rhode-Island, I parted with them, and went to the monthly-meeting at New-York, which through merciful regard was comfortable; from thence go­ing to Rahway, had a meeting at Plainfield which was satisfactory through the extendings of Divine favour; then at Kingwood on first day, from whence crossing Delaware we were at Buckingham monthly meeting, where I thought the true Spirit of disci­pline [Page 241] appeared to be much wanting in many; here my companion returned homewards; the next day I was at Wright's-town monthly-meeting, which through the Lord's blessing was edifying to many, and we parted in peace and sweetness of Spirit, the day following I attended the meeting at Pine-street in Philadelphia, also that at High-street on fifth day, which was a precious opportunity to such who loved to live near the Spirit of Truth, from thence I went to visit my brother-in-law Daniel Brown near Chester, was at Newtown meeting on first day, and at an afternoon meeting near Amos Yarnal's, then went to the general meetings at Goshen, and Uwchlan, after which taking London-Grove meet­ing, I came home, having rode in this journey about 600 miles, and feeling a degree of thankful­ness that the Lord was pleased to give me ability to perform it.

I tarried much at home the remaining part of this summer; on the twenty-first of the ninth month, I set out in order to attend the yearly-meet­ing at Philadelphia, which was very large in the several sittings, continued a full week, and I thought it the most solid and weighty in transacting the af­fairs of truth that I ever knew: The testimony thereof against slave keeping was wonderfully ex­alted, thro' the power and love of God who is wor­thy of all praise for ever. In my way home I was at Providence meeting, in which the testimony of truth went forth by way of warning to the luke­warm and declining professors, and of encourag­ment to the youth.

Our general meeting at Nottingham next day was large, and I hope profitable to some; after which having a desire to be at the general meeting at Caecil in Maryland, I left home on the seventh of the tenth month, was at the quarterly-meeting of ministers and elders there on first day morning, [Page 242] which was profitably instructive through Divine Goodness; two public meetings for worship were held on first and second days, both large and solid, several other friends from Pennsylvania were there, the business of the quarterly-meeting ended on third day morning, on the same day we had a comforta­ble public meeting, from which we parted with friends in much love and nearness. On the follow­ing day was their monthly-meeting, to attend which several of us staid; then having a desire to see friends at Chester-River, I went to their week day meeting, Nicholas Waln bearing me company; the meeting was large, and through the Lord's Good­ness, it was, I believe, made profitable to many; then taking meetings at Sassafrass, Duck-Creek, Motherkill, and Little-Creek, the two last being their preparative meeting at each place, the next day was their select meeting of ministers and elders, and their monthly-meeting the day following, which, with divers other friends from Pennsylvania, we attended, and on the first and second days of the next week the general meeting at Little-Creek: I believe there is a renewed visitation to friends, and some others hereaway; but formal professors at present appear to be as stumbling blocks by join­ing with the spirit of the world; I returned home with an easy mind.

Weakness and infirmity of body gradually in­creasing upon our beloved friend, he frequently mentioned, that many years part, it was unexpected to him to live to his seventieth year, and to be fa­voured with health and strength sufficient to travel so much as he lately had, saying, that now he scarcely thought much more would be required of him; he however attended the western quarterly-meeting in the eleventh month this year, and in the second month 1775, in both which he was favoured [Page 243] with strength and clearness to speak to the state of the church, as well in some of the select, as the more public meetings, tending to the edification and comfort of many.

In the third month 1775, he also attended the general spring-meeting at Philadelphia, and in some of the sittings thereof was much favoured, on his return home from thence, he was at Wilmington general meeting, in company with our friends Ro­bert Walker and Elizabeth Robinson from Great-Britain.

His last journey was on a visit to most of the meetings on the Eastern-shore of Maryland, and to attend the yearly-meeting at Thirdhaven in Talbot County, for which purpose he set out from his own habitation on the twenty-second of the fifth month, having, according to his usual care, obtained the concurrence of his brethren, and was accompanied by a young man (William Jackson) a member of New-Garden monthly-meeting, who has given the following account of this journey.

"Our first days ride was to George Ford's near Back-Creek, the next morning being damp and foggy, was very trying to his weak constitution, yet we rode forty five miles that day to Hannah Tur­ner's in Queen Ann's County, which was thought to be a means of bringing on him a disorder which proved painful and afflicting, and increased till near his end, being advanced in age, his bodily infirmi­ties appeared great, but the fervency of his mind for the promotion of truth and righteousness, and his care as a Father in Israel, was truly as preva­lent as ever. On the twenty-fourth of the month he went to the preparative meeting at Tuckahoa, wherein he was concerned to exhort some to faith­fulness in times of temptation and tryal, that they might experience an overcoming, and be enabled to strengthen their brethren. Next, day we attend­ed [Page 244] Thirdhaven monthly-meeting, in which he was I qualified to speak instructively to the members thereof, particularly to such who were incumbered with much care about the things of this life, things, which although lawful in themselves, yet when suf­fered to engross the minds and affections of people, obstruct a progress in religion. On the twenty-sixth a meeting at Choptank was a time of heavy exer­cise on account of a lifeless, lukewarm, indifferent situation of mind, which seemed to attend divers there assembled; the next day we attended a burial at Thirdhaven, on which occasion a meeting was held, and he laboured honestly to arouse those that lived in the neglect of making timely preparation for their last awful and solemn change: On the twenty-eighth we were at Tuckahoa meeting, and on second day at the Bay-side, where were but few of our society, but several others attended who be­haved soberly, and some of the younger sort were reached and tendered by Truth's Testimony, to whom he was led instructively to shew, That they need not give their money for that which is not bread, nor their labour for that which satisfieth not, and opened to them the way of life and salvation which is attained through the Spirit, or free gift of Grace that is come upon all men for justification, so that if they attended to the dictates thereof in their own hearts, it was sufficient to instruct them in the way of Godliness, but when people go from, and ne­glect this inward teacher, seeking to, or depending on learned men, they err."

"Next day we had a religious opportunity in the family of John Bartlett, and on fourth day went to Tuckahoa meeting again, where he had to speak of the sufficiency of the grace of God, and the in­consistency of people's living in a profession thereof without being found in the faith, or fully believing in this principle as sufficient for salvation. We next [Page 245] attended the meetings at Thirdhaven, and Marshy-Creek; the yearly-meeting began on seventh day, and continued until the fourth of the following week, which altho' he was feeble and unwell, he attended the several sittings thereof, being nine in the five days, and the last held seven hours; he was enabled to appear for the cause and testimony of truth, both in the meetings for worship and disci­pline, and like the good scribe well instructed in the things of the kingdom, had to bring forth out of the treasury, things new and old, profitable and instructive, being seasoned with the love and virtue of truth: After the meeting on fourth day, we went to the house of Joseph Berry, where next morning had a religious opportunity in the family, and the day following a meeting in Queen Ann's Forest, from whence we went to Joshua Vansant's; here he was very poorly, having taken some fresh cold; the next day being very warm, he was much spent with riding, and said, as he had at several times before on this journey, "that he believed it would be his last, if he lived to reach home, which at times he thought seemed unlikely." On first day the eleventh of the sixth month he had a meeting in a School-house at Back-Creek, among a people who behaved with much sobriety, which was a satisfactory time, very instructive and open for doc­trine, and that evening reached home, having tra­velled in this journey about 290 miles."

On the fourteenth of the sixth month he went to the week day meeting at London-Grove, to meet with a committee of our quarterly-meeting on par­ticular business, and returned to our meeting at Nottingham the next day, on the first day of the week following, was there also, in the same week he attended our preparative and monthly-meetings, but a fever daily increasing upon him, he was af­terwards chiefly confined at home.

[Page 246]On the fourth of the seventh month he expressed himself thus, "I am glad that I am at home, I have ever found it best when my service abroad was over, to get home as quick as might be, and though I have felt great inward poverty, and weak­ness since my last journey, so that I can neither see my beginning, nor ending, but seem as if all were hidden, yet I hope if Providence shall see meet to remove me at this time, some light will appear again, and that it will be otherwise before I go."

At another time he spake to this purpose, ‘I have found myself much stripped as to a sense of good, and tried with poverty many days. I sup­pose I have been accounted by some, as one of the better sort of people, but have seen great occasion to beware of a disposition that would seek to feed upon the praise or commendations of others; a carnal selfish spirit is very apt to present, and creep in here if possible, and I have seen it hurt many who have had right beginnings, it always introduceth dimness, and oppression, to the pure, precious, innocent life of truth, which only groweth up into dominion, through deep abasement of soul, and the entire death of self.’

At several other times he signified to this effect, ‘My present baptism of affliction hath tended to the further refinement of my nature, and to the bringing me more perfectly into the image of my master.’

He frequently expressed his full submission to the Divine Will either respecting life or death, several times saying, "I now experience my life and my will to be slain, and I have no will lest."

In the two last weeks of his time it appeared that his desire and hope, mentioned in the forepart of his illness, for light again to appear was fully answer­ed by the fresh influence thereof, so that altho' his [Page 247] pain was often great he would many times in a day break forth into a kind of melody with his voice, without uttering words, which as he sometimes in­timated was an involuntary aspiration of his soul in praise to the Lord who had again been pleased to shine forth in brightness after many days of poverty and deep baptism, which tho' painful had proved beneficial to him, being a means of further purify­ing from the dregs of nature, saying he was at times afraid to discover that melody in the hear­ing of some that visited him, lest they could not comprehend its meaning, and might therefore mis­construe it.

On second day morning the seventeenth of the seventh month being asked by a friend how he was, he replied, " I am here in the body yet, and when I go out of it I hope there is nothing but peace," and soon after further said, " I have seen that all the bustles, and noises that are now in the world will end in con­fusion, and our young men that know not an establish­ment in the Truth and the Lord's fear for a ballast will be caught in a trying moment," at another time he said, " I feel nothing but peace, having endeavoured honestly to discharge myself in public, and privately to individuals as I apprehended was required, and if it be the Lord's will that I should go now, I shall be released from a great deal of trouble and exercise, which I believe friends who are left behind will have to pass through."

On the twentieth of the same month he thus ex­pressed himself, " I love friends who abide in the truth as much as ever I did, and I feel earnest breath­ings to the Lord, that there may be such raised up in the church who may go forth in humility, sweetness, and life, clear of all superfluity in expressions and otherwise, standing for the testimony, that they may be useful to the church in these difficult times."

[Page 248]About three days before his death several friends being in his room he spake as follows, "Friends in the beginning, if they had health and liberty, were not easily diverted from paying their tribute of worship to the Almighty on week days as well as first days, but after a while when outward suffer­ings ceased, life and zeal decaying, ease and the spirit of the world took place with many, and thus it became customary for one or two out of a family to attend meetings, and to leave their children much at home; parents also it worldly concerns were in the way could neglect their week day meet­ings sometimes; yet be willing to hold the name, and plead excuse because of a busy time, or the like, but I believe that such a departure from pri­mitive integrity ever did, and ever will, occasion a withering from the life of true religion."

To a friend who came to visit him on the twenty-first of the seventh month he said, " I feel that which lives beyond death and the grave, which is now an inexpressible comfort to me after a time of deep baptism that I have passed through, I believe my being continued here is in the will of Providence, and I am fully resigned."

His illness increasing he said but little on seventh day the twenty-second; in the afternoon he was ve­ry low, and speechless about twelve hours; early on first day morning he recruited a little, and gave di­rections about his coffin to a friend who sat up with him being a joiner; continuing rather easier the forepart of that day and appearing chearful, he ex­pressed divers weighty sentences like farewell ex­hortations to some who came to see him; on second day morning he sat up a considerable time, in the afternoon he appeared lively and sensible, tho' very weak, thus expressing himself, " I am much refreshed with my Master's sweet air, I feel more life, more light, more love, and sweetness than ever before," [Page 249] and often mentioned the Divine refreshment and comfort he felt flowing like a pure stream to his in­ward man, saying to those who were with him, " I may tell you of it, but you cannot feel it as I do."

In the evening a young person coming into the room, looking at her earnestly and affectionately, he said, " Deborah arose a mother in Israel," and shortly after, " The sweetness that I feel," then his difficulty of breathing increased, and being turned once or twice he requested to be helped up, and was placed in his chair, in which he expired about the ninth hour on second day night the twenty-fourth of the seventh month 1775, being aged near seventy, and minister about forty-two years, and was buried on the twenty-sixth in friend's Grave­yard at East-Nottingham, a large concourse of peo­ple attending, after which a solemn meeting was held.