CHAP. I.

IN the mean time, my application to the law was incessant; and consequently my intercourse with lawyers daily in­creased. I endeavoured to load my brain with technical terms and phrases, to un­derstand technical distinctions, and to acquaint myself with the history of law fictions, and the reasons on which they had been founded.

[Page 2]To these subjects my attention had been turned by Mr. Hilary; who, being a Solicitor, was well acquainted with the value of them, to the man who meant to make himself a thorough lawyer.

The consideration of this branch of law staggered my judgment. Trottman and Hilary were intimate. The latter had invited us and other friends to din­ner; and, as I found the acuteness of Trottman useful to me in my pursuits, I took this and every occasion to put questions: which he was very ready to answer. As it happened, my enquiry on the subject of law fictions brought on the following dialogue: which was sup­ported by Trottman entirely in his own style.

"According to your account then," said I, in answer to a previous remark, "in Banco Regis the King is always sup­posed to be present."

"No doubt, what question can there be [Page 3] of that? One invisible kind of being can as easily be supposed as another. And I hope you will not dispute the actual pre­sence of that pleasant gentleman called the devil, in any one of our courts?"

"By no means!"

"As for his majesty, he, God bless him! by the nature of his office is hic et ubique: here, there, and every where. He is borne in state before each Corporation Mayor, whether Mr. or My Lord; and reposes peacefully in front of Mr. Speak­er, or the Lord High Chancellor: in­vesting them by his sacred presence with all their power."

"How so?"

"How so! Do you forget the mace upon the table?"

"Authority then has that virtue that, like grace divine into a wafer, it can be transfused into wood."

"Yes. A lord's white wand, a gene­ral's [Page 4] baton; a constable's staff. It is thought necessary, I grant, in some of these cases that the block should be carved and gilded."

"Well, the position is that, in Banco Regis, the King is always present."

"So says the law."

"But the law, it appears, tells a lie; and, from all that I have heard, I wish it were the only one that it told."

"Could the law hear, sir, it would take very grave offence at your language. It only assumes a fiction."

"John Doe and Richard Roe, who are the pledges of prosecution, are two more of its supposes, or lies. I beg pardon. I should have said fictions."

"Why, yes: considering that John Doe and Richard Roe never made their personal appearance in any court in the kingdom, were never once met, in house, street, or field, in public, or in private, [Page 5] nay had never yet the good luck to be born, they have really done a deal of business."

"They resemble Legion, entering the swine: they plunge whole herds into the depths of destruction."

"Or, if you will, they are a kind of real yet invisible hob-goblins: by whom every human being is liable to be haunt­ed. It must however be allowed of them that they are a pair of very active and convenient persons."

"To lawyers. But God help the rest of mankind! Are there many of these fictions?"

"More than I or any man, I believe, can at one time remember."

"From the little I have read, this ap­pears to be a very puzzling part of the profession."

"Not at all; if we will take things as we find them, and neither be more curious nor squeamish than wise. I [Page 6] will state the process of a suit to you; and you will then perceive how plain and straight-forward it is. We will sup­pose A the plaintiff: B the defendant. A brings his action by bill. Action you know means this: Actio nihil aliud est quam jus prosequendi in judicium quod sibi debetur:" or, "a right of prosecuting to judgment, for what is due to one's self." B is and was supposed to be in the custody of the Marshal. Observe, supposed to be: for very likely B is walking unmolested in his garden; or what not. B we will say happens to live in Surry, Kent, or any other county, except Middlesex; and is supposed to have made his escape, though perhaps he may have broken his leg, and never have been out of his own door. And then the latitat supposes that a bill had issued, and further supposes that it has been returned non est inventus, and moreover supposes it to have been filed. B lives in Kent, you know; and this [Page 7] latitat is addressed, in supposition, to the Sheriff of the county, greeting; though as to the Sheriff he neither sees, hears, nor knows any thing concerning it; and informs him that B (notwithstanding he is confined to his bed by a broken leg) runs up and down, in supposition, and secretes himself in the Sheriff's county of Kent: on which —"

"I beg your pardon: I cannot follow you through all this labyrinth of sup­poses."

"No! Then you will never do for a lawyer: for I have but just begun. I should carry you along an endless chain of them; every link of which is con­nected."

"And which chain is frequently strong enough to bind and imprison both plain­tiff and defendant."

"Certainly: or the law would be as dead in its spirit as it is in its letter."

[Page 8]"I fear I shall never get all the phrases and forms of law by rote."

"Why, no. If you did, heaven help you! it would breed a fine confusion in your brain. You would become as litigious and as unintelligible as our friend Stradling.

"Mr. Stradling," said Hilary, "is one of my clients: an unfortunate man who, being a law-printer, has in the way of trade read so many law-books, and accustomed him­self to such a peculiar jargon, as to ima­gine that he is a better lawyer than any of us; so that he has half-ruined him­self by litigation. He is to dine with us, and will soon be here."

"I will provoke him," continued Trott­man, "to afford you a sample of his gib­berish; you may then examine what de­gree of instruction you suppose may be obtained from a heterogeneous topsy-tur­vy mass of law phrases."

"But why irritate your friend?"

[Page 9]"You mistake. He has it so eternally on his tongue that, instead of giving him pain to shew the various methods in which he supposes he could torment an anta­gonist at law, it affords him the highest gratification."

"Our friend Hilary here is better qua­lified for the task of instruction; but he feels some of your qualms; and is now and then inclined to doubt that there is vice, in the glorious system which regu­lates all our actions."

"I deny that it regulates them," said Hilary. "If people in general had no more knowledge of right and wrong than they have of law, their actions would in­deed be wretchedly regulated!"

This was a sagacious remark. It made an impression upon me that was not for­gotten. It suggested the important truth that the pretensions of law to govern are ridiculous; and that men act, as Hilary [Page 10] justly affirmed, well or ill according to their sense of right and wrong.

Mr. Stradling soon after came; and Trottman very artfully led him into a dispute on a supposed case, which Trott­man pretended to defend, and aggra­vated him, by contradiction, till Strad­ling roundly affirmed his opponent knew nothing of conducting a suit at law.

The volubility of this gentleman was extraordinary; and the trouble I thought myself obliged to bestow, at that time, on the subject could alone have enabled me to remember any part off the jargon he uttered, in opposition to Trottman: which in substance was as follows.

"Give me leave to tell you, friend Trottman, you know nothing of the mat­ter; and I should be very glad I could provoke you to meet me in Westminster-hall. If I had you but in the Courts, damn me if you should easily get out!"

[Page 11]"I tell you once more I would not leave you a coat to your back."

"You! Lord help you! I would tra­verse your indictment, demur to your plea, bring my writ of error, nonsuit you. Sir, I would ca sa fi fa you. I would bar you. I would latitat you, replevin you, refalo you. I would have my non est inventus, my alias, and pluries, and pluries, and pluries, ad infinitum. I would have you in trover; in detinue; I would send your loving friend Richard Roe to you. I would eject you. I would make you confess lease entry and ouster. I would file my bill of Middlesex; or my latitat with an ac etiam. Nay, I would be a worse plague to you still: I would have my bill filed in B. R. I would furnish you with a special original for C. P. You talk! I would sue out my capias, alias, and plu­ries, at once; and outlaw you before you should hear one word of the proceed­ing."

[Page 12]Bless me, thought I, what innumerable ways there are of reducing a man to beg­gary and destruction according to law!

Trottman thus provokingly continued.

"My dear Mr. Stradling, your brain is bewildered. You go backward and for­ward, from one supposition to another, and from process to process, till you really don't know what you say. If I were your opponent, in any Court in the kingdom, I should certainly make the law provide you a lodging for the rest of your life."

"Bring your action! That's all! Bring your action, and observe how finely I will nonpros you: or reduce you to a nolle prosequi. You think yourself knowing? Pshaw. I have nonsuited fifty more cun­ning fellows, in my time; and shall do fifty more."

God help them! thought I.

"I have laid many a pert put by the heels. You pretend to carry an action through the Courts with me! Why, sir, [Page 13] I have helped to ruin three men of a thousand a year; and am in a fair way, at this very hour, of doing as much for a Baronet of five times the property."

I listened in astonishment.

"And do you take a pleasure in re­membering this?" said Hilary.

"Pleasure!" answered Stradling; star­ing. "Why, do you think, Mr. Hilary, I should have taken a pleasure in ruining myself? What did I do but act accord­ing to the laws of my country? And, if men will oppose me, and pretend to un­derstand those laws better than I do, let them pay for their ignorance and their presumption. Let them respect the law, or let their brats go beg."

"The law I find, sir," said I, "has no compassion."

"Compassion, indeed! No, sir. Com­passion is a fool; and the law is wise."

"In itself I hope it is: but I own I doubt the wisdom of its practice."

[Page 14]"But this practice, you must know," said Trottman, with a wink to Stradling, "Mr. Trevor means to reform."

"Oh," replied Stradling, "then I sup­pose, when the gentleman is at the bar, he will never accept a brief, till he has first examined the equity of the case."

"That, sir," I replied, "is my firm intention."

"Ha, ha, ha! Mr. Trevor, you are a young man! You will know better in time."

"And do you imagine, sir, that I will ever hire myself to chicanery, and be the willing promoter of fraud? If I do, may I live hated, and die despised!"

"Ay, ay! Very true! I don't remem­ber that I ever met with a youth, who had just begun to keep his terms, who did not profess much the same. And, which is well worthy of remark, those that have been most vehement in these professions have been most famous, when [Page 15] they came to the bar, for undertaking and gaining the rottenest causes."

"You shall find however, sir, that I shall be an exception to this rule."

"Excuse me, Mr. Trevor, for not too hastily crediting hasty assertions. I know mankind as well as I know the law. However, I can only tell you that if your practice keep pace with your professions, you will never be Lord Chief Justice."

"Do the judges then encourage bar­risters, who undertake the defence of bad and base actions?"

"To be sure they do. They some­times shake their heads and look grave: but we know very well they defended such themselves: or, as I tell you, they would never have been judges. If two men have a dispute, one of them must be in the wrong. And who is able to pro­nounce which, except the law?"

"My dear Mr. Stradling," said Trott­man, "you are again out of your depth. [Page 16] When two men dispute, it almost always happens that they are both in the wrong. And this is the glorious resource of law; and the refuge of its counsellors, and its judges."

Trottman and Stradling were accus­tomed to each other's manner; and, notwithstanding the language they used, nothing more was meant than a kind of jocular sparring: which would now and then forget itself for a moment, and be­come waspish; but would recollect and recover its temper the next sentence.

I replied to Trottman — "It is true that, when two men dispute, it generally happens they are both in the wrong. But one is always more in the wrong than the other; and it should be the business of lawyers to examine, and of the law to decide upon, their different degrees of error."

"What, sir!" exclaimed Stradling. "If you were counsel in a cause for plain­tiff [Page 17] A, instead of exposing the blunders and wrongs of defendant B, would you enquire into those of your own client?"

"I would enquire impartially into both."

"And if you knew any circumstance which would infallibly insure plaintiff a nonsuit, you would declare it to the Court?"

"I would declare the truth, and the whole truth."

"Here's doctrine! Here's law!"

"No," said Trottman; "it is not law. It is reform."

"It ought to be law. As an advocate, I am a man who hire out my knowledge and talents for the avowed purpose of doing justice; and am to consider nei­ther plaintiff nor defendant, but justice only. Otherwise, I should certainly be the vilest of rascals!"

"Heyday!" thundered Stradling: and, after a pause, added—"It is my [Page 18] opinion, those words are liable to a pro­secution, Mr. Trevor; and, by G—, if you were to be cast in any one of our Courts for them, it would be no fault either of the bench or the bar if the sen­tence of the law, which you are defam­ing, did not shut you up for life!"

"My friend Trevor mistakes the na­ture of the profession he is studying," added Trottman. "He forgets that the question before a Court is not, what is this, that, or the other; which he may think proper to call justice; but, what is the law?"

"To be sure, sir;" continued Strad­ling. "It is that which, as a lawyer, you must attend to; and that only."

"I will cite you an example," said Trottman.

"A was a gentleman of great landed property. B was an impertinent beg­garly kind of sturdy fellow, his neigh­bour. A had an estate in the county of [Page 19] — that lay in a ring-fence: a mea­dow of nine acres excepted, which be­longed to B. This meadow it was conve­nient for A to purchase; and he sent his steward, who was an attorney, to make proposals. B rejected them. The stew­ard advised A to buy the estate that be­longed to C, but that was farmed by B. The advice was followed. The lease of B expired the following year; and a new one was denied by A, unless B would sell his meadow. B consented. A bought the meadow, but determined to have his revenge. For this purpose A refused payment, and provoked B to commence an action. The law he knew very well was on the side of B: but that was of little consequence. Plaintiff B brought his action in Trinity Term. Defend­ant A pleaded a sham plea: asserted plaintiff had been paid for his meadow, by a firkin of butter: [All a lie, you [Page 20] know.] long vacation was thus got over, and next term defendant files a bill in Chancery, to stay proceedings at law. Plaintiff B files his answer, and gets the injunction dissolved: but A had his writ ready and became plaintiff in error, car­ried it through all the Courts: from K. B. to the Exchequer-chamber; and from the Exchequer-chamber, as A very well knew that B had no more money, A brought error into Parliament: by which B was obliged to drop proceedings. His attorney, of course, would not stir a step further; and the fool was ruined. He was afterward arrested by his attorney for payment of bill in arrear; and he now lies in prison, on the debtors'-side of Newgate."

"How you stare, Mr. Trevor!" added Stradling. "Every word true. We all know a great lord who has carried I can­not tell how many such causes."

[Page 21]"And were the judges," said I, "ac­quainted with the whole of these proceed­ings?"

"How could they be ignorant of them? Judgment had passed against de­fendant A in all the Courts."

"And did they afford the plaintiff no protection?"

"They protect! Why, Mr. Trevor, you imagine yourself in Turkey, telling your tale to a Cady, who decides accord­ing to his notions of right and wrong; and not pleading in the presence of a bench of English judges, who have twice ten thousand volumes to consult as their guides which leave them no opinion of their own. It is their duty to pronounce sentence as the statute-books direct: or, as in the case I have cited, according to precedent, time immemorial."

"And this is what you call law?"

"Ay! and sound law too."

"Why then, damn the —"

[Page 22]"You do right to stop short, sir."

"It appears to me that I am travelling in a cursed dirty as well as thorny road," said I, with a sigh.

"Why, to own the truth," added Trottman, "you must meet with a little splashing: and, unless you can turn back and look at it with unconcern, I should scarcely advise you to proceed."

"I shall certainly reconsider the sub­ject!"

"A pair of lawyers, like a pair of legs, are apt to bespatter each other: but they nevertheless remain good friends and brothers. If you send your spaniel into a muddy pool, you ought to take care, when he comes out, that he does not shake the filth he has collected over his master."

"I wonder, sir, that you should con­tinue one of a profession which you treat with such unsparing severity."

"And I, sir, do not wonder at your [Page 23] wonderings. Life is a long road; and he must have travelled a very little way indeed who expects that it should be all a bowling-green. Pursue your route in which direction you will, law, trade, phy­sic, or divinity, and prove to me that you will never have occasion to shake off the dust from your feet in testimony against it, and I will then pause and consider. You are of the sect of the Perfectibles."

"And you of the cast of the Stand-stills."

"Oh no. I conceive myself to be among children at a fair, riding in a round-about. Like the globe they in­habit, men are continually in motion: but they can never pass their circle."

"And do you suppose you know the limits of your circle?"

"Within a trifle. The experience of state, empires, and ages has decided that question with tolerable accuracy."

"But, what if a power should have arisen, of which you have not had the [Page 24] experience of states, empires and ages; except of a very small number? And what if this partial experience, as far as it goes, should entirely overthrow your hypothesis?"

"I know that, in argument, your if is a very renowned potentate. If the moon should happen to be a cheese, it may some time or another chance to fall about our ears in a shower of maggots. But what is this mighty power, that has done so much in so short a time; and from which you expect so many more miracles?"

"It is the art of printing. When knowledge was locked up in Egyptian temples, or secreted by Indian Bramins for their own selfish traffic, it was indeed difficult to increase this imaginary circle of yours: but no sooner was it diffused among mankind, by the discovery of the alphabet, than, in a short period, it was succeeded by the wonders of Greece and [Page 25] Rome. And now, that its circulation is facilitated in so incalculable a degree, who shall be daring enough to assert his puny standard is the measure of all possi­ble futurity? I am amazed, sir, that a man of your acuteness, your readiness of wit, and your strength of imagination, can persist in such an affirmative!"

"The argumentum ad hominem. Very sweet and delectable. Thank you, sir."

"Every thing is subject to change: why not therefore to improvement? That change is inevitable there are proofs look where you will: that which is called innovation must consequently be indis­pensible. Examine the history of your own science. When England was in­fested with wolves, we are told that King Edgar imposed an annual tribute of thir­ty wolves' heads on the Welsh Princes; that the breed might be extirpated. Had this tribute been levied, after the race was partly destroyed, the law would have [Page 26] counteracted its own intention: for, in order to pay the tax, the tributary Princes must have encouraged the breed; and once more have stocked the country with wolves."

Stradling was little better than in­fected with what have been lately stigma­tised by the appellation of Jacobinical principles, and exclaimed, with great ex­ultation—"Your remark is very true, sir; and it is an example that will serve admirably well to illustrate another point. Placemen and pensioners, a race more ravenous and infinitely more destructive than wolves, have been propagated for the support of the Executive Govern­ment; and the breed increases so rapid­ly that it will very soon devour its feed­ers."

"And next itself."

"With all my heart! Let me but see that vermin extirpated, and I shall die in peace!"

[Page 27]"Very right, Mr. Stradling;" said Trottman, with great gravity. "Place­men, and pensioners are vile vermin! And so will remain, till your party comes into office."

"If ever I could be brought to accept of place, or pension, may I —!"

"I believe you: for I am well per­suaded your virtue will never be put to the trial. Otherwise, I should ima­gine, it would find as many good argu­ments, I mean precedents, in favour of the regular practice in politics as in law."

Here our dialogue paused. Dinner was announced, and law, politics, and pa­triotism were for a while forgotten, by all except myself, in the enjoyments of ve­nison and old port.

CHAP. II.

DESULTORY as the conversation I have recited had been, it left a very deep impression upon my mind. It was round­ly asserted, by every lawyer to whom I put the question, that the whole and sole business of a counsellor was the defence of his client. Right or wrong, it was his duty to gain his cause; and, with respect to the justice of it, into that, generally speaking, it was impossible that he should enquire. Briefs were frequently put into his hand as he entered the Court; which he was to follow as instructed.

It did now and then happen that a cause was so infamous as to put even the [Page 29] hacknied brow of a barrister to the blush: but it must be a vile one indeed! And even then, when he threw up his brief, though paid before he began to plead, it was matter of admiration to meet so disin­terested an example of virtue, in an ad­vocate.

It was in the practice of the law that I hoped to have taken refuge, against the arguments of Turl: which, averse as I had been to listen, proved even to me that, in principle, it was not to be de­fended.

The train of thinking that followed these deductions was so very painful that I was obliged to fly from them; and seek advice and confirmation in the friendship of Wilmot, before I should write on the subject to Mr. Evelyn. For the latter task indeed my mind was not yet suffi­ciently calm, collected, and determined.

My chie [...] consolation was that the sub­ject had thus been strongly brought to [Page 30] the test of enquiry, before the expiration of the month which, according to agree­ment, I was to be with Counsellor Ven­tilate, previous to the payment of my ad­mission-fee; of which, as it was a heavy one, thus to have robbed the charities of Mr. Evelyn would have given me exces­sive anguish.

I know not whether I was sorry or glad when I came to Wilmot's lodging, to find Turl there. He had returned from his bathing excursion; having been call­ed back sooner than he expected by his affairs.

He was cheerful, and in excellent spi­rits. His complexion was clear, his health improved, and his joy at our meeting was evident and unaffected. He even owned that, hearing I had devoted my­self to the law, he had returned thus soon the more willingly once again to argue the question with me: for that he felt himself very highly interested in the fu­ture [Page 31] employment of talents of which he had conceived extraordinary hopes; and that he thought it impossible they should be devoted to such a confusing study, were there no other objection to it, as that of the law, without being, not only perverted and abused, but, in a great de­gree, stifled.

After an avowal like this, it required an effort in me to summon up my reso­lution, and honestly state the doubts and difficulties that had arisen in my own mind. It was happy for me that my friends were men whose habitual sincerity prompted me to a similar conduct. I therefore took courage, opened my heart, and, while describing my own sensations, was impelled to confess that the practice of the law could with great difficulty in­deed be reconciled to the principles of undeviating honesty.

"I most sincerely rejoice," said Turl, "that these doubts have been suggested [Page 32] to you by other people, rather than by me: for I am very desirous you should not continue to think me too prone to censure. And, in addition to them, I would have you take a retrospect of your plan. To induce you to despond is a thing which I would most sedulously avoid: but to suffer you to delude your­self with the hopes of sudden wealth (and when I say sudden, I would give you a term of ten years) from the practice of the law, unless you should plunge into that practice with the most unqualified disregard to all that rectitude demands, would be to act the cowardly disinge­nuous hypocrite; and entirely to forget the first and best duties of friendship.

"Should you ask—'What path then am I to pursue?' I own I am totally at a loss for an answer. The choice must be left to yourself. You are not ignorant that it is infinitely more easy to point out mistakes, which have been and still con­tinue [Page 33] to be committed daily, than to teach how they may be entirely avoided. Of this I am well assured, if you will con­fide in and exert those powers of mind that you possess; they must lead you to a degree of happiness of the enjoyment of which, I am sorry to say, but few are ca­pable.

"From my own experience and from that of all the young men I meet, who are thrown upon the world, I find that the period which is most critical and full of danger, is the one during which they are obliged unsupported to seek a grate­ful and worthy way of employing their talents.

"My own resource has been that of cheerfully submitting to what are called the hardships of obscure poverty; and of consoling myself, not only with a firm persuasion that by this course in time I shall infallibly change the scene, but that, till this time shall come, I am employing [Page 34] myself on the subjects which can best afford me present satisfaction. That is, in endeavours, however narrow and feeble, to enlarge the boundaries of human hap­piness; and by means like these to find a sufficiency for my own support.

"I know not that I ought to advise you to pursue a similar plan: though I can truly say I am unacquainted with any other, which is equally promising.

"How to answer or appease the imperi­ous demands of your present ruling passion I cannot devise. Neither can I say that I am convinced it is blameable except in its excess. That you should desire to obtain so so rare and inestimable a treasure as that of a woman who, not to insist upon her peculiar beauty, is possessed of the high faculties with which she whom you love is affirmed to be endowed, is an ambition which my heart knows not how to con­demn as unworthy. There is something in it so congenial to all my own feelings [Page 35] that to see you united to her would give me inexpressible pleasure.

"You will perhaps be surprised to hear me own that, notwithstanding the obstacles are so numerous that I have no perception of the manner in which they are to be overcome, I yet rejoice with you that you have discovered such a wo­man; that she has assuredly a rooted affection for you; and that you have thus obtained one advantage over all your friends, a strong and unconquerable mo­tive to outstrip them in your efforts.

"Shall I add that, desperate as your case seems to be, I participate in your sanguine hopes? I do not deem them entirely romantic, but share in that which the phlegmatic would call the frenzy of your mind; and half-persuade myself that you will finally be victorious.

"Then summon up your fortitude. Do not suffer the failure of ill-concerted plans either to lessen your ardour or give [Page 36] it a rash and dangerous direction. Be cool in decision, warm in pursuit, and unwearied in perseverance. Time is a never failing friend, to those who have the discernment to profit by the oppor­tunities he offers. Let your eye be on the alert, and your hand active and firm, as circumstances shall occur, and I shall then say I scarcely know what it is that you may not hope to achieve!"

Wilmot stood with his head resting on his arm, leaning against the mantle-piece. When Turl began, his eye was cast down, a compassionate melancholy overspread his countenance, and a deep sigh broke from him unperceived by himself. As our mutual friend proceeded, his attitude altered, his head was raised, his eye brightened, his features glowed, his soul was wrapt in the visions which were raised by Turl, and, unconscious of his own existence or that he spoke, his interrupting ejaculations now and then involuntarily [Page 37] burst forth—"That is true!"—Well argued!—Do you think so?—Indeed!— I am glad of that!—Don't despond, Trevor!—Don't despond!—'Tis folly to despond!"

Just as he repeated the last sentence, "'Tis folly to despond," so full a remem­berance of his former trains of thought came over him, and there was so divine a mixture of hope and melancholy in his face, which seemed so to reproach him­self and to encourage me, that, divided as my feelings were between the generous emanations of Turl and these torrents of affection from a man who had suffered so deeply, I seized the hand of each, pressed them both to my heart, instantly dropped them again, covered my face, fell against the wall, and sobbed with something like hysteric passion.

Of all the pleasures of which the soul is capable, those of friendship for man and love for woman are the most exqui­site. [Page 38] They may be described as—"the comprehensive principle of benevolence, which binds the whole human race to aid and love each other, individualized; and put into its utmost state of activity." Selfishness may deride them; and there may be some so haunted by suspicion, or so hardened in vice as to doubt or deny their existence. But he that has felt them in their fullest force has the best as well as the grandest standard of human nature; and the purest foretaste of the joys that are in store, for the generations that are to come.

This is the spirit that is to harmonize the world; and give reality to those ideal gardens of paradise, and ages of gold, the possibility of which, as the records of fable shew, could scarcely escape even savage ignorance.

What clue shall I give the reader to my heart, that shall lead him into its re­cesses; and enable him to conceive its [Page 39] entire sensations? That Turl, from whom I imagined I had met so much discourage­ment, whose scrutinizing eye led him to examine with such severity, and whose firm understanding possessed such powers of right decision, that he should not only sympathize with me but partake in my best hopes, and countenance me in my soul's dearest pursuit, that Turl should feel and act thus, was a joy inconceivably great, and unexpected!

He now no longer appeared to me as one to whom, though I could not but revere him, I durst not confess myself; but as a generous, anxious, and tender friend. My former flashes of hope had usually been succeeded by a gloomy despair, that made me half suspect myself to be frantic: but, after this concession and encouragement from Turl, they seemed instantly to spring into consist­ency, probability, and system.

Turl highly approved my forbearance, [Page 40] and caution, respecting the letter I had written and was so anxious to convey to Olivia.

This farther coincidence of opinion not only induced me to persevere in my plan, but afforded me a degree of grate­ful satisfaction, and self-respect, that was exceedingly consolatory.

CHAP. III.

IT may well be supposed that Turl was induced to enquire, and I to explain, the means by which I should have been en­abled to pursue the study of the law: for he had heard of my misfortunes, and the dissipation of my finances.

This brought the behaviour and cha­racter [Page 41] of Mr. Evelyn in review: and the admiration of Turl, with the terms of affection and respect in which he spoke of that gentleman, was additional delight. He had never entertained any serious doubt, he said, but that such men ex­isted: perhaps many of them: yet to discover a single one was an unexpected and, to say the truth, a very uncommon pleasure.

But Mr. Evelyn was to be made ac­quainted with my change of sentiment; and of my being once more destitute of any plan for my future guidance. It was necessary that he should not deem me a man of unsettled principles; frivo­lous in propensity, and fantastic in con­duct. For, though perhaps my pride would have felt gratification at no longer considering myself a dependent on the favourable opinion or calculations which another might form concerning me, and [Page 42] my good or ill qualities, yet I could not endure to sink in his esteem.

I therefore applied myself, immediate­ly, in the most assiduous manner, to col­lect and state such facts as I had gathered, relative to the practice of the law: and, that the argument might be placed in the clearest light possible, I begged of Turl to take that part of the subject which related to its principles upon him­self.

Thus provided, I wrote to Mr. Eve­lyn; and my letter was fortunate enough to produce its desired effect.

Nor was he satisfied with mere appro­bation. His anxious and generous friend­ship would not suffer him to rest; and he immediately made a journey to town, to consult with me, since this project was rejected, what should be my new pursuit.

His behaviour verified all the assertions of his former discourse, concerning the [Page 43] hopes that he had conceived of my ta­lents. He considered nothing within the scope of his fortune as too great a sacrifice, if it could but promote the end he desired. For this purpose he not only consulted with Wilmot, and Turl, but led me into such conversations as might best display the bent of my genius; and afford him hints, on which to act.

And now he was induced to form a design such as I little expected; and which required of me the acceptance of obligations so great as well might stagger me, and render it difficult for me to con­sent.

He had remarked that my enunciation was clear and articulate, my language flowing, my voice powerful, and my manner prepossessing. Such were the terms which he used; in describing these qualities in me. The youthful manliness of my figure, he said, added to the pro­perties I have mentioned, was admirably [Page 44] adapted for parliamentary oratory. My elocution and deportment were com­manding; and principles such as mine might awe corruption itself into respect, and aid to rouse a nation, and enlighten a world. Mr. Evelyn, like myself, was very much of an enthusiast.

He did not immediately communicate the project to me: which was indeed first suggested to him by accidental cir­cumstances: but previously examined whether it was, as he supposed it to be, possible to be carried into effect.

Sir Barnard Bray had the nomina­tion of two borough members: one of which he personated himself, and disposed of the other seat, as is the custom, to a candidate who should be of his party; and consequently vote according to his opinion.

He had long been the loud and fast friend of Opposition. No man was more determined in detecting error, more hot [Page 45] in his zeal, or more vociferous in accu­sation, than Sir Barnard: his dear and intimate friend, the right honourable Mr. Abstract, excepted; who was indeed pepper, or rather gunpowder itself.

Mr. Evelyn was the cousin of this patriotic baronet.

It happened just then to be the eve of a general election; and, as the last mem­ber of Sir Barnard had been so profligate, or so patriotic, as the worthy member himself repeatedly and solemnly declared he was, as to vote with the Minister, who had previously given him a place and promised to secure his return for a Trea­sury borough, Mr. Evelyn, knowing these circumstances, was persuaded that the Baronet would be happy to find a representative for his constituents, whose eloquence added to his own should avenge him on the Minister; if not tumble him from the throne he had usurped.

Mr. Evelyn and the Baronet were on [Page 46] intimate terms: for Sir Barnard took a particular pleasure in every man who per­fectly agreed with him in opinion; and, though this definition would not ac­curately apply to Mr. Evelyn, yet, on the great leading points in politics they seldom differed.

As to morals, as a science, Sir Barnard on many occasions would affect to treat it with that common-place contempt which always accompanies the supposition of the original and unconquerable de­pravity of man; of the verity of which the Baronet had a rooted conviction. In this hypothesis he was but confirmed by his burgage-tenure voters, by the conduct of the members he had himself returned, and by certain propensities which he felt in his own breast, and which he seriously believed to be instinctive in man.

Beside, if Mr. Evelyn differed at any time in opinion with a disputant, the sua­vity of his manners was so conciliatory [Page 47] that opposition, from him, was sometimes better received than agreement, and co­incidence, from other people. This sua­vity, by the by, is a delightful art. Would it were better understood, and more practised!

CHAP. IV.

FULL of the project he had conceived, Mr. Evelyn visited the Baronet, who happened to be in town, and proposed it to him in the manner which he thought might most prepossess him in my favour.

Sir Barnard listened attentively, and paused.

It happened that he had lately been [Page 48] meditating on the danger of introducing young orators into parliament: for he had found, by experience, that they are so marketable a commodity as to be al­most certain of being bought up. The trick he had himself been played was bitterly remembered; and he had known and heard of several instances, during his parliamentary career, of a similar kind.

Yet he could not but recollect that, when he and his former spokesman had entered the house, arm in arm, there was a sort of buzz, and a degree of respect paid to him, which had instantly dimi­nished as soon as this support was gone.

There is something of dignity in the use of crutches; and he that cannot walk alone commands attention, from his im­becility.

"I do not know what to think of this plan," said the Baronet. "I find your flowery speakers are no more to be de­pended [Page 49] upon, in the present day, than the oldest drudges in corruption!

"You know, cousin, how I hate cor­ruption. It is undoing us all. It will undo the nation! The influence of the crown is monstrous. The aristocracy is degraded by annual batches of mundun­gus and parchment lords; and the con­stitution is tumbling about our ears. The old English spirit is dead. The nation has lost all sense and feeling. The people are so vile and selfish that they are bought and sold like swine; to which, for my part, I think they have been very properly compared. There is no such thing now as public virtue. No, no! That happy time is gone by! Every man is for all he can get; and as for the means, he cares nothing about them. There is absolutely no such thing as patriotism existing; and, to own the truth, damn me if I believe there is a man in the kingdom that cares one far­thing [Page 50] for those rights and liberties, about which so many people that you and I know pretend to bawl!"

"This is a severe supposition indeed. It implicates your dearest and most in­timate friends. Only recollect, Sir Bar­nard, what would your feelings be, if the same thing should be asserted of you?"

"Of me, truly! No, no, cousin Eve­lyn; I think I have been pretty tolerably tried! The Minister knows very well he could move the Monument sooner than me. I love the people; and am half mad to see that they have no love for them­selves. Why do not they meet? Why do not they petition? Why do not they besiege the throne with their clamors? They are no better than beasts of bur­then! If they were any thing else, the whole kingdom would rise, as one man, and drive this arrogant upstart from the helm. I say, Mr. Evelyn, I love the people; I love my country; I love the [Page 51] constitution; and I hate the swarms of mushroom peers, and petty traders, that are daily pouring in upon us, to overturn it."

Was it weakness of memory? Was it the blindness of egotism? Or was it in­ordinate stupidity, that Sir Barnard should forget, as he constantly did, that his fa­ther had been a common porter in a warehouse, had raised an immense for­tune by trade, had purchased the boroughs which descended to his son, and had himself been bought with the title of Baronet by a former minister? Was it so very long ago, that Sir Barnard, with such a swell of conscious superiority, should begin to talk of the antiquity of his family? But, above all, how did he happen not to recollect that the disap­pointment which now preyed upon and cankered his heart was the refusal of a peerage?

I really can give no satisfactory an­swer [Page 52] to these questions. I can only state a fact: which daily occurs in a thousand other instances.

Mr. Evelyn brought the Baronet back to the point; and remarked to him that, at the present period, when the Minister was so powerful in numbers, to bring in a mere yes and no member with himself would be a certain mode of not serving the country, the constitution, and the people, whom he so dearly loved; that the safety which is derived from a man's insignificance is but a bad pledge; and that he thought himself very certain I was as dear, nay and as incorruptible, a lover of old England, or at least of the wel­fare of mankind, as Sir Barnard himself.

"Shew me such a man, cousin," ex­claimed the Baronet, "and I will worship him! I will worship him, Mr. Evelyn! I will worship him! But I am persuaded he is not to be found. I have learned, from too fatal experience, that I am certain of no­body [Page 53] but myself! Small as the number in Opposition is, if they were but all as sound-hearted as I am, and would set their shoulders to the wheel and lay themselves out for the good of their coun­try as I do, I say it, Mr. Evelyn, and take my word for it I say true, we should overturn the Minister and his corrupt gang in six months! Nay, in half the time! However, as you are so strongly persuaded of the soundness of the gentle­man's principles whom you recommend, let me see him, and talk to him; and then I will tell you more of my opinion."

"There is one point, Sir Barnard, on which I suppose I need not insist; it is so obvious."

"What is that, cousin?"

"You being as you state a man of principle, and incapable of being biassed to act against what you conceive to be the good of the nation, you must expect that every man, who resembles you in [Page 54] patriotism and fortitude, will act from himself, and will resist any attempt to control him."

"Oh, as to that, we need say nothing about it. Those things are never men­tioned, now-a-days: they are perfectly understood. But who is your young friend? Is he a man of property?"

"No."

He will be the more manageable, thought Sir Barnard.

"Where will he get a qualification?"

"I will provide him with one."

"You say he is a gentleman."

"As I understand the term, he cer­tainly is: for, in addition to those man­ners and accomplishments which are most pleasing to the world, he not only pos­sesses a good education but a sense of justice which makes him regard every man as his brother; and which will nei­ther suffer him to crouch to the haughty nor trample on the poor."

[Page 55]"Why, that is very good. Very right. I myself will crouch to no man. And, as for modesty and humility, in the youth of the present day, why they are very rarely found: and so I shall be happy to meet with them."

"Nay, but Mr. Trevor delivers his sentiments with rather an unguarded freedom, and with peculiar energy or indeed he would be ill qualified to rise in the assembly of which I wish to see him a member, and undauntedly oppose the arrogant assertions that are there daily made."

"Arrogant! G— confound me, Mr. Evelyn, if I am not sometimes struck dumb, with what I hear in that house! There is that Scotchman in particular, who will get up, after our allies have been defeated, our troops driven like sheep from swamp to swamp, where they die of the rot, and our ships carried by hundreds into the enemy's ports, and [Page 56] will roundly assert, notwithstanding these facts are as notorious as his own political profligacy, that our victories are splendid, our armies undiminished; and our trade protected and flourishing beyond all for­mer example! He makes my hair stand on end to hear him! And when I look in his face, and see the broad familiar easy impudence with which he laughs at me and all of us, for our astonishment, why, as I tell you, damn me if I am not dumb-founded! I am struck all of a heap! I have not a word! I am choaked with rage, and amazement! Compared to him your brothel-keeper is a modest person! Were but our fortresses as impenetrable as his forehead, curse me if they would ever be taken. He is bomb-proof. The returns that lie on the table can make no impression upon him; and you may see him snèer and laugh if they are pointed to in the course of an argument.

"In short, cousin Evelyn, the nation [Page 57] is ruined. I see that clear enough. Our constitution will soon be changed to a pure despotism. Barracks are building; soldiers line our streets; our commission of the peace is filled with the creatures of a corrupt administration; constables are only called out to keep up the farce; and we are at present under little better than a military government."

Though Mr. Evelyn would have been better satisfied, had Sir Barnard's sense of national grievances been equally strong but less acrimonious, yet he was pleased to find that these grievances were now more than ever become a kind of com­mon-place bead roll of repetitions: of which their being so familiarly run over by the Baronet was sufficient proof: for a people that are continually talking of the evils that afflict them are not, as Sir Barnard and others have supposed, dead to these evils. The nation, that remarks, [Page 58] discusses, and complains of its wrongs, will finally have them redressed.

CHAP. V.

WHAT farther passed in the conver­sation I have recited was of little mo­ment: except that an appointment was made, on the following day, for me to be introduced to the Baronet.

Thus far successful, Mr. Evelyn re­turned; and, as he was a man of a firm and ingenuous mind, he thought it ad­viseable to hold a consultation with me and my friends, on the prosecution of his plan.

[Page 59]That personal considerations might in no degree influence the enquiry, he first proposed the question, without intimating to what it might lead, of—"how far it became a virtuous man to accept a seat, on those conditions under which a seat only can be obtained, among the repre­sentatives of the people?"

Without wearying the reader with the arguments that were adduced, let it suffice to inform him that we all agreed it was a very doubtful case; that, in this as in numerous other instances, manners, customs, and laws, obliged us to conform to many things which were odiously vicious; and that to live in society and rigidly observe those rules of justice which would best promote the general happi­ness was, speaking absolutely, a thing impossible.

Whether the greatest political cha­racters would best fulfil their duties by refusing to submit to the corrupt influ­ence [Page 60] of elections, to test-oaths, and to the mischiefs of ministerial management within the walls, or whether they ought to comply with them, and exert their utmost faculties in pointing out these evils and endeavouring to have them redressed, was a point on which we all seemed to think the wisest men might suspend their judgment.

In one thing we appeared to be en­tirely agreed: which was that such per­nicious practices were in all probability more frequently exposed, and brought into public discussion, through the me­dium of an assembly like this, than they would be did no such assembly exist.

Neither must I detail what afterward passed, before I was brought to accept the proposal of Mr. Evelyn. It would be tedious.

This proposal did not confine itself to the single act of giving me a seat in parliament; and of furnishing me with a [Page 61] qualification. It insisted that the quali­fication should be a real and not a fic­titious deed.

To accept the actual possession of three hundred a-year as a bounty, for which I could make no return, was I own hu­miliating to my pride. It made the question continually recur—"Whether it did not give me the air of an impostor? A kind of swindler of sentiment? A pre­tender to superior virtue, for the purpose of gratifying vice?"

It seemed at a blow to rob me of all independence; and leave me a manacled slave to the opinions, not only of Mr. Evelyn, but, by a kind of consignment, of his relation the Baronet; and even to both their humours.

In fine, it was a most painful sacrifice; and required all the amenity and active friendship of Mr. Evelyn to bring to my mind, not only my duties, but, the power that I should have at any time of [Page 62] resigning my seat, returning the deeds, and sheltering myself in my primitive poverty.

To this I added a condition, without which my refusal would have been ab­solute. It was that I should give a deed of mortgage, bearing interest, to the full value of the lands assigned.

I shall forbear to dwell on sensations that were very active at the moment; which, on one hand, related to all that concerned Mr. Evelyn, my obligations, and something like dependence; and, on the other, to my sudden promised elevation toward the sphere, in which my ambition was so eagerly desirous to move. Neither will I insist on that which caused my heart to beat yet more high, the ap­proach that I thus made to the lovely object of all my wishes.

Leaving this endless train of medi­tation, I proceed to relate events as they occurred.

[Page 63]I attended Mr. Evelyn, according to appointment; and paid my respects to his cousin, Sir Barnard. Having engaged myself thus far, I own I was sufficiently piqued to desire to make a favourable impression: in which I was almost as successful as I myself had hoped.

At the first sight of me the Baronet was prepossessed; and when we entered into conversation and he gave me an opportunity of uttering my sentiments concerning men and measures, I painted so forcibly that he was almost in raptures.

The only circumstance in which I failed was my frequent interruption, and impatience, when he in turn began to declaim. I had the vice of orators: I heard no man's arguments, or language, that pleased me so well as my own. I could not listen without an irritating anxiety, that was for ever prompting me to supply a word, suggest a thought, or detect a blunder. And, to a man who [Page 64] loves to make a speech, it is intolerably mortifying to hear himself corrected, and cut short, in the middle of a sentence.

However I was sufficiently guarded not to give any offence that was strong enough to be remembered; and Sir Bar­nard was so thoroughly engrossed, by the idea of the conspicuous figure which he and his new member should make in the house, that he was absolutely impatient to secure me: being fully persuaded that he had discovered a treasure; of which now, at a general election, he was in considerable danger of being robbed.

The only precaution he took was to draw from me repeated asseverations that I would not desert the cause of the peo­ple: by which, as I afterward found, he understood his own private opinions; and I that which he had literally expressed. On this head he seemed never satisfied; and the terms in which he spoke, both of the member who had deserted him and [Page 65] of all political tergiversation whatever, were the bitterest that his memory could supply.

CHAP. VI.

THESE points settled, the Baronet pro­posed to introduce me to his friends and connections, particularly of the political kind. For this purpose he began with inviting me and Mr. Evelyn to dine with him on the Friday following, when he was to have a mixed party of ladies and gentlemen, but chiefly of such as agreed with him on public affairs.

When the day came, I was presented to [Page 66] the company by the Baronet with encomi­ums, and seated on the left of Lady Bray.

A Scotch lord was on her right: it being her ladyship's custom to divide the ladies and gentlemen.

A young fellow properly introduced, if he be new in the circles of fashion and possessed of a tolerable figure, is in no danger of being ill received. I had not indeed learned to be an adept at small talk: a qualification which, contemptible as it is, will supply the want of every superior requisite, whether of mind or person: but I had an aptitude to oblige, be attentive, and speak the moment I found I had any thing to say.

I had laid no plan on this occasion: not having then read, or not remember­ing, I know not which, Lord Chester­field's sage reflections, on the necessity of a statesman's being well with the ladies. It happened however that, on this oc­casion, I was received with distinguished [Page 67] marks of approbation by the dear angels: from several of whom I received visiting-invitations.

Music and the opera were among the topics on which they conversed. I was found to be an amateur; and Lady Bray was one of the dilettanti, had concerts at her own house, and a box at the opera: to both of which she said I should at all times have free admission.

This was too pleasing an offer to be refused; and I willingly agreed to attend her ladyship the following evening, and hear the charming music of I Zingari in Fiera by Paisiello.

The opera season began rather early that year, many families were not yet come to town, we had little delay from the string of coaches, and, had her lady­ship not provided against the misfortune by taking care to go more late than usual, we should have been so unfashionable as [Page 68] to have heard the first act. As it was, we arrived before it was over.

The thing on which her ladyship be­stowed her immediate attention was to examine, by the aid of her opera-glass, which of the subscribers were in their boxes; and how many of her particular friends were among them. Politeness in­duced me to accompany her in this excur­sion of the eye: for not to have listened to the names, titles, and ages, of her friends, with the births, deaths, marriages, creations, and presentations at court of them and their families, of which materials small talk is chiefly if not wholly com­posed, would have been the very highest defect in good breeding.

Why yes. Listen I did, as long as I was able: till my eyes, tongue, and fa­culties were all riveted to one spot!

Her ladyship's box was near the cen­tre. She had carried my eye from box [Page 69] to box completely along one side, and had proceeded to about three of the op­posite, when she directed her glass to one, with the owners of which she had no acquaintance: but she knew the names of all; for she had them engraved on her fan.

That name was Mowbray! And the persons in it were Hector, his aunt, and Olivia!

I was silent, gazing, entranced! Her ladyship had talked I know not how long; and I had neither answered nor heard one word.

"Bless me," said she, "Mr. Trevor! why you are absolutely in a revery all of a sudden! That Miss Mowbray I find is a very dangerous young lady: for I am told that all the men are positively mad after her; and here are you absolutely struck speechless! What! Not a word yet?"

"I beg ten thousand pardons."

[Page 70]"Why this seems like love at first sight! You are not acquainted, I sup­pose, with the Mowbrays."

"Yes, my lady: from my infancy."

"Oh, oh! Why, then to be sure you are intimate with this beauty; who abso­lutely eclipses us all. I assure you she is positively the belle of the day. I hear she has the very first offers. But you are not silly enough to act the dying swain? What, no answer? Well, well: I see how it is! But, as we never read in any of the morning papers of gentle youths who break their hearts for love, in the present ungallant age, you are in no great danger. Though I think I never saw any creature look more like what I should suppose one of your true lovers to be than you did just now: for, beside your speechless attitude, which was abso­lutely picturesque and significant, you were positively pale and red, and red and pale, almost as fast as the ticking of my [Page 71] watch. And even yet you are absolutely provoking. I cannot get a word from you!"

"Your ladyship's raillery quite over­powers me."

"I declare I am positively surprised at what I have seen. Had a stranger been all of a sudden struck, the wonder would not have been absolutely so great: but it is positively unaccountable in you who are a familiar acquaintance of the fa­mily."

"I cannot boast of that honor."

"No, indeed! Why, do not you visit the Mowbrays?"

"I do not."

"What, you are a dangerous man; and are forbidden the house? Well, I de­clare, I shall absolutely know your whole history in five minutes without your hav­ing positively told me a word."

"Your ladyship has a lively imagina­tion."

[Page 72]I have heard that the aunt is a very cautious chaperon. But, I tell you what: I will be your friend. The Mowbrays are lately become intimate with two fa­milies where I visit. And I will abso­lutely take you with me, on one of their public nights. I will positively."

This proposition was so grateful, and my thanks were so much more prompt than my recollection, that her ladyship was quite confirmed in her surmises; and not a little pleased with her own ta­lent at discovery.

Her accusation however was very true. All she could positively say could not ab­solutely draw my attention from the box of Olivia, whose turns and motions I was anxiously watching; hoping that some lucky accident would guide her eye to­ward me.

Nay I partly hoped and partly feared the same of the aunt: my emotions being now influenced by the respectable sta­tion [Page 73] which I at present seemed to occupy; and now by the rememberance that even this might turn to my disadvantage, in the jealous apprehensions of the old lady.

Busied as my thoughts were and ab­sorbed in anxious attention, this anxiety was soon overcome by a much more pow­erful feeling.

A gentleman entered Olivia's box! My eyes were instantly turned on him. Recollection was roused. My heart beat. It surely was he! I could not be mis­taken! My opera-glass was applied, and my fears confirmed. It was, indeed, the Earl of Idford!

Here then, in a moment, the enigma was solved. The peer who had aspired to the hand of Olivia, and who tempted her with all his opulence and all his dig­nity, could be no other than Lord Idford. He had long been intimate with Hector, and now comes without ceremony and [Page 74] joins the family. See how the aunt smiles on him! Nay, mark! Olivia is attentive to him! Her lips move! Her eyes are directed to his! She is conversing with him, and at her ease, while I am racked by all the terrors that jealousy can raise! What, can she not cast one look this way? Is she fascinated by a reptile? Is there no instinctive sympathy, that should make her tremble to betray the dearest interests of love in the very presence of the lover! Does she act complacency, and sit calm and unruffled! Has she no foreboding that I will dart upon that insect; that thing; which, being less than man, pre­sumes because it is called Lord! Thinks she that I will not crush, tear, tread, him to dust? He, the defrauder of my fair fame, who plundered me of the first fruits of genius by infamous falsehood, who joined in plotting my destruction by arts which the basest cowards blush at! [Page 75] Is he the fiend that comes to snatch me from bliss; and plunge me into pangs and horrors unutterable?

From these ravings of the mind I was a little recovered, by the very serious alarm which the wild changes of my countenance produced in Lady Bray. I apologised, pleaded indisposition, but presently was lost again in revery. For­tunately, a gentleman of her ladyship's acquaintance came into the box, and left me to continue my embittered medita­tions.

Olivia was now attentive to the music; and the lord had only her aunt and Hec­tor, apparently, to bestow his conver­sation upon.

This was some relief; and so far al­layed the fever of my mind as to call me back to self examination, and to question my own conduct.

For the earl I could not but have the most rooted contempt. I could not com­pare [Page 74] [...] [Page 75] [...] [Page 76] myself with him, and entertain a doubt, concerning who ought to be pre­ferred.

But what reason had I to accuse Oli­via? What did these angry emotions of my soul forebode? Perhaps that my ha­bitual irritability, were she mine, would make her miserable!

What was the end of existence? Hap­piness. Had I not a right then to be happy? Yes. But so had she. So had her aunt. Nay so had that rival, odious and despicable as he was, whose appear­ance had raised this tempest in my soul.

But was constraint, was force, justifiable in this aunt; or in this insignificant this selfish lord?

Force it is said is the law of nature; and it is that law which impels the rave­nous tiger to spring upon the lamb, and suck its blood, to appease his craving ap­petite. But, if so, if self-gratification were a defensible motive, the detestable [Page 77] Norman robber, the monster who inha­bited a cave and seized on every stray virgin, to deflower, murder her and prey on her remains, was justifiable.

In the agitated mind, dreams like these are endless. While they were passing, I stared with fixed attention toward Oli­via; and, had she not been almost mo­tionless, my passive trances could not have continued.

The first dance was over, the second act had begun, more visitors came to pay their respects to Lady Bray, and I en­deavoured to recollect myself and shake off a behaviour that might well be con­strued inattention, if not ill manners; and might injure me even in that point on which I was then so deeply intent. I ut­tered two or three sentences; and her ladyship complimented me on being once more awake.

The persevering attention of Olivia to the scene, for it was impossible to forbear [Page 78] glancing at her every moment, contri­buted to calm my fears.

It did more: it was a most beneficial lesson to me. It called me again to the consideration of that impetuosity of tem­per which was so dangerous in me. Into what acts of frenzy and desperation might not these fevers of the soul hurry me? What in the present instance could I urge to justify such excess? Had I not heard the reproaches of her aunt for her having refused the hand of this Lord: if this Lord it should happen to be? When he entered the box, what had she done, that should excite such frantic ecstacies in me? What, except return those civilities with­out which it is impossible for man or wo­man to be amiable? Did she now coquet, prattle, and display her power; tempted as she was by such a public scene of triumph? Was not her demeanour as chastely cautious as my own exigent heart could desire?

[Page 79]Every question that the facts before me suggested was an aggravating reproof of my headlong passions; and, luckily for me, my thoughts took that train which was most corrective and healthful. They led me too to dwell, with a melting and mild rapture, on the endearing virtues of Olivia: dignified, yet not austere; firm, yet not repulsive; circumspect, yet ca­pable of all those flowing affections with­out which circumspection is but mean­ness.

Nor were these visionary attributes: such as the disordered imagination of a lover falsely bestows. They were as real as those personal beauties by which they were embellished.

To aspire to the possession of a woman so gifted, and to be the lunatic which my own reproaches at this moment pictured me, was to demand that which I did not deserve. To be worthy of her, it was fit I should resemble her.

[Page 80]I endeavoured to obey these admoni­tions. I schooled myself, concerning my remissness to Lady Bray. I recovered my temper, became attentive, talked ra­ther pleasantly, and re-established myself in her good graces: in which I could perceive I had somewhat declined, by the folly of my behaviour. To remind the reader on every occasion of the progress of intellect, and the benefits derived from experience, would be to weary his pa­tience, insult his understanding, and counteract my own intentions. It would suppose in him a total absence of observa­tion, and reasoning. Yet to be entirely silent might lead the young, and the in­attentive, to imagine I had in the be­ginning proposed a mode of instruction which, as I proceeded, I had either for­gotten, abandoned, or had not the power to execute. If such will attend to the al­teration in my conduct, they will perceive that I, like every other human being, could [Page 81] not but reflect more or less on the mo­tives that actuated me; and profit by the lessons I received: though rooted habits and violent passions were the most diffi­cult to cure.

After the curtain dropped, I accompa­nied Lady Bray into the great room; and perceived among the throng, at some little distance, Olivia, and her aunt, at­tended by the peer.

I had foreseen the possibility of this; and had reasoned that there might be more danger in an abrupt rencontre, of this kind, than in meeting Olivia and her terrible aunt at the house of Lady Bray's friend, as her ladyship had promised me; where I should receive her counte­nance, and that of the family to which I should be introduced. I therefore endea­voured to direct her ladyship's attention from the place where the Mowbray party was, and succeeded in my endeavours.

Soon afterward, I saw Hector, with [Page 82] a knot of fashionable youths; among whom I was rather surprised to discover my at that time unknown father-in-law, Belmont.

I had no inclination to be noticed by this groupe; and, as Lady Bray's car­riage was presently afterward stopping the way, I had the good fortune to escape unperceived, or at least unaccosted, by both parties.

CHAP. VII.

TO the friendship of Mr. Evelyn I had so far subjected myself and the spirit of independence which I was very properly ambitious to cherish as, for the present, to accept the aid he was so desirous to bestow. I was something like compelled to be his debtor, but was unwilling, to be the debtor of any other man on earth; and, as he had enabled me to appear in the style I have described, and furnished me with money, I was determined to seek [Page 84] out Belmont, and discharge the debt which his bounty had conferred; after he had previously plundered me, at Bath. He had sunk in my esteem: I now considered him as a professed gambler: but I remembered this action as that which it really was; an effort of bene­volence, to aid a human being in distress.

Thus actuated, I went the next day to the billiard-table which he had been ac­customed to frequent; where I once more found him at play. He met me not only unabashed, but with something like cor­diality. He had so accustomed himself to his own hypothesis, that "self-grati­fication is the law of nature," and had so confused a sense of what true self-grati­fication is, with such an active faculty of perverting facts and exhibiting pictures of general turpitude, that he had very lit­tle sense of the vice of his own conduct; and was therefore very little subject to self-reproof. He behaved to me with the [Page 85] utmost ease and good humour; and, when his match was over, proposed that we should dine together at the Thatched-house.

For a moment, I questioned the pro­priety of assenting: but, seeing him now as before familiar with the officers of the guards, and people of whose company no one was ashamed, and recollecting where and how I had seen him the evening be­fore, I did not long hesitate. Beside which, I was prompted, not only by the pleasure which his conversation gave, but by an increase of curiosity to be better acquainted with who and what he really was.

As soon as we were alone, I discharged my conscience by repaying him the twen­ty pounds. This gave occasion to the following dialogue.

"I perceive, Trevor, you are still the fame. You pique yourself on paying your borrowings. Had it been a debt of ho­nour [Page 86] indeed, I should not have been sur­prised: for those are debts that must be discharged. Otherwise, it would intro­duce a very inconvenient practice in­deed."

"I believe, as you say, it would be in­convenient beyond description to you— What do you call yourselves?—Oh! I recollect: 'sporting gentlemen' is the phrase. It would be inconvenient I say, to you sporting gentlemen."

"Whom, when we sporting gentle­men are absent, you call blacklegs, rooks, Grecians, and other pleasant epithets. Some such word, I could perceive, was quivering on your tongue. You remem­ber the plucking you had at Bath; and, though you are too much ashamed of having been duped to mention it, yet it remains on your mind with a feeling of resentment. That is natural: but it is foolish."

[Page 87]"Is it foolish to have a sense of right and wrong?"

"Where is that sense to be found? Who has it? I have continually a sense, if so you please to call it, that there is something which I want; and by that I am impelled to act."

"True. But Locke, I think, tells us that crime consists in not taking suf­ficient time to consider, before we act."

"And, begging his pardon, wise as in a certain sense I allow you this Locke was, in the instance you have cited, he was an ass. If I do not mistake, he has before proved to me that I cannot act without a motive; and then he bids me stop when I am in such a hurry that no motive occurs to my memory."

"According to this, an actual murder­er is not a more guilty man than he who only dreams that he commits murder?"

"Make what you will of the inference, [Page 88] but it is accurate. They are both dead asleep, to any ideas except those that hurry them forward."

"That is, in plain English, there is no such thing as vice."

"Might you not as well have said as virtue?"

"Speaking absolutely, I do not pre­tend to deny what you assert. But you will not tell me that the man who robs me, and leaves me bound to a tree in danger of starving, has not done me an injury?"

"Will you be kind enough to shew me who it is, among those who have any thing to lose, that does not rob? Men who enjoy the pleasures of life rob those who are deprived of them of their due; and, according to my apprehension, the latter have a right to make reprisals."

"Upon my soul, Belmont, you have a most inveterate habit of confounding every thing that should guide and regu­late [Page 89] mankind. You shift the question, confound terms, and are the most despe­rate gladiator of vice I ever encountered, Your dangerous genius is a mine; where the ore is rich indeed, but the poison­ous vapour that envelopes it deadly."

"Each to his system. We have both the voyage of life to make. You place that very sober and discreet person called Honesty at the helm; by the single di­rection of whom you expect to attain happiness: which is just as rational as to hope to circumnavigate the globe with one wind. I take a different course: it is my maxim to shift my sails, and steer as pleasure and interest bid."

"Acting as you do, I cannot wonder that you should make a jest of honesty."

"Upon my honour I treated Sir Ho­nesty with every possible decorum, till I found that the insidious rascal was making a jest of me. Not that I am quite cer­tain I am not more truly the friend of [Page 90] this very respectable person than those who pretend they are always in his com­pany; for I neither cant with Madam Morality nor pray with Dame Metho­dism: though I cannot but think I am almost as religious, as moral, ay and as charitable too, as your devotees and sab­bath-keepers; who go to church to pray and be saved, and leave their servants to stay at home, roast the meat and be damned."

"I must again repeat, you have the most active fertility at embroiling all order and system I have any where met with."

"Ha, ha, ha! Order and system are very pretty words. But you make a small mistake. It is not I that embroil. I find confusion already established; and, since I cannot correct it, give me a rea­son why I ought not to profit by the chao­tic hubbub?"

"But I say you can correct it. You [Page 91] are one of the men who might have been best fitted for the task."

"I know not what I might have been: but I feel that I am not. The first right of man, ay and, to talk in your own idiom, the first moral duty too, is to be happy; and he is an idiot that, having a banquet spread before him, forbears to taste be­cause he himself is not the purveyor. What matters it to me how it came there? Why am I to be excluded? Have I not as exquisite a relish as he that provided for the bill of fare?

"Let dull fools puzzle their brain concerning moral fitness, which they have not elevation enough of mind to understand; give me enjoyment.

"Let me eat the pine apple while they are discussing the moral fitness of feasting on such luxuries."

"This doctrine would subject the world to your appetites and pleasures."

"And is not that a noble doctrine? [Page 92] It is the wish and passion of the world to be gulled; and gulled let it be. Let it have its enjoyments; give me mine.

"One man is my banker, and is assidu­ously careful to keep cash at my com­mand; which he transfers to me in the most gentleman-like and honourable man­ner imaginable: namely, by a box and dice.

"Another is my steward; and he lays out my grounds, stocks my park with deer, builds me palaces, erects me hot-houses, and torments heaven and earth to furnish my table with delicacies; for all of which I pay him in the current coin of flattery. It is true I permit him to call these things his own: but the real enjoyment of them is notoriously mine. He, poor egotist, talks bombast and non­sense by wholesale. I applaud and smile at his folly; while he imagines it is at his wit. The poor man is amused with fine speeches, unsubstantial flatteries, cringes, [Page 93] bows, and hypocritical tokens of servility; which are so many jests upon him.

"Thus is he mocked with the shadow, while I banquet upon the substance. I bask in arbours and groves, without once having given myself a thought concern­ing planting or pruning. I feast on the fish, without so much as the trouble of catching them; and still less of construct­ing the pond. By the provision he makes, that is, by avarice and extortion, he nurtures a brood of sycophants and slaves. Wife, children, friends, servants, all have the same character; only differ­ently shaded: except that, if any of them can become his tyrants and tormentors, they all are ready for the task. I have studied the noble arts both of tickling and tormenting: by which I have sub­jected this very self-important race to my will and pleasure."

"For a man whose acuteness has carried him so very far, I am amazed that it did [Page 94] not impel him to advance one step far­ther. Happiness is what I and all men desire, as certainly as you do: but that happiness is of a strange kind, and held by a frail and feeble tenure, that is agitated by innumerable fears: that, if the means on which it depends be detected, is whol­ly destroyed; and that, when lost, finds infamy and misery its certain substitutes.

"Mark what I say; and mark it deeply. There can be no happiness without se­curity; and there can be no security with­out sincerity. Therefore, hypocrites, of every class, are acting contrary to their own intentions. They are providing misery for themselves, as well as for others: instead of the substantial pleasures of which they are in search."

"Indeed? The Lord have mercy then upon all establishments: legal, political, and ecclesiastic!"

"Let me farther observe to you that the system of general enjoyment, which [Page 95] you propose, is something, if I may so call it, more than rational: it is digni­fied; it is sublime. I feel with you that he is a poor circumscribed egotist, who can enjoy nothing but that which he calls his own. Let me taste every blessing which the hand of nature presents: let me banquet with you on her bounties: but let me not embitter the delicious re­past by fraud, that enslaves me to an eternal watchfulness; depredation, that puts even my life in jeopardy; and a system founded in lies, and everlastingly haunted by the spectres of self-contempt."

Our dialogue was interrupted, by the entrance of the waiters.

When we had dined, Belmont began to enquire concerning my prospects and affairs.

"I expect," said he, "you will be less communicative and open hearted, now, than you formerly were. You have dis­covered, what I never attempted to con­ceal, that my present dependence is on [Page 94] [...] [Page 95] [...] [Page 96] the exercise of talents which your gravity despises: especially since they have laid you under contribution. This misfor­tune however, had you possessed them, despicable as they are, you would have escaped."

"Yes: just as the man, who hanged himself last night, escaped a head-ach this morning. I will own to you I can­not take the pleasure in your company, or think of you with that friendship, which I formerly felt: for, though I find your conversation no less animating, like strong liquors, it leaves an unwholesome heat behind.

"However, I have no objection to in­form you that fortune has given me a momentary respite from persecution. How soon she may think proper to stretch me on the rack again is more than I can foresee: though I greatly sus­pect her of cruelty and caprice. She seems at present to be in one of her best humours; and has given me a kind of [Page 97] promise to make me one of the sage legis­lators of this happy land."

"What do you mean?"

"That I shall be a member of the new parliament."

Belmont burst into a violent fit of laughter. At first, I was at a loss to con­jecture why; and especially why it should be so long, and so unaffected: but I soon learned it was a burst of triumph, which he could not restrain.

"I congratulate you, Mr. Trevor," said he, with a momentary gravity, "on your noble and moral pursuits!—The lecture you have been reading, as well as those I have formerly heard you read, now come upon me with invincible force! —There is no resisting precept thus ex­emplified by practice!—How loud, how lofty, how sovereign, is the contempt in which you hold hypocrisy!—How severe will the laws be that you will enact, against petty depredators!—I foresee you [Page 98] will hang, not only those that handle a card, or a dice-box, but, those that make them.—Then what honors, what rewards, what triumphs, will you decree to your own wholesale marauders! your great captains; chosen, empowered and paid by yourself and sages no less moral and disinterested!—With what gusto will you send him to swing who commits a single robbery: and with what sublime oratory will you exalt the prowess of the man who has plundered starved and extermi­nated nations—"A Daniel come to judgment! Oh wise young judge, how do I honor thee!"

I remained speechless, a few moments; and entirely disconcerted. I was irritated; though I knew not precisely at what. I attempted to answer; but was so confused that I talked absolute nonsense.

After some time, however, I recol­lected that my purpose in going into parliament was to counteract all these [Page 99] abuses. I then recovered my faculties, and urged this plea very emphatically.

Still the moral dignity, and virtue, of the honourable house I was about to enter, dwelt with such force on the ima­gination of Belmont that I could get no reply from him; except sarcasms, such as those I have repeated, with the same in­tervening fits of laughter as the images suggested themselves to his mind.

And here, lest the reader himself should be misled like Belmont, I must remark that no mistake is more common, and I believe none more pernicious, than that of imagining that, because man has not attained absolute and perfect virtue, the very existence of virtue is doubtful.

Hence it happens that he, who in any manner participates in the vices of a na­tion, or a body of men, is reproached as if loaded with the whole guilt.

Hence likewise, because men without exception are more or less tainted with [Page 100] error, all pretensions to superior moral principles are laughed at, as false and ridiculous.

This is the doctrine at least which the people who most offend these principles are the most zealous in propagating. Belmont had no refuge against self-reproach, but in cherishing such trains of thought.

That the vices which are the most despised in society instead of being the most despicable are virtues, if compared to actions that find honor and reward, is a truth too glaring to be denied. That the cant with which these master crimes are glossed over, and painted as just, expedient, ay and heroic actions, that this diabolical cant should be and is adopted by men even of the highest powers, is a fact that astonishes and con­founds. It impels us continually to ask —Are they cowards? Are they hypo­crites? Or is the world inhabited by [Page 101] none but lunatics? And that men even of such uncommon genius as Belmont should be entangled, and bewildered, by the destructive incongruity of those who assume to themselves the highest wisdom, because they possess the highest stations in society, is a proof how incumbent it is on such as are convinced of these melancholy truths to declare them open­ly, undauntedly, and with a perseverance that no threats or terrors can shake.

When we had taken as much wine as Belmont could prevail on me to drink, and he was very urgent, he asked if I played Piquet?

I answered in the affirmative.

"You no doubt then play it well."

"I do not think it a game of much difficulty."

"It is my opinion I am your master at it."

"That may be."

[Page 102]"Though you do not think it is. Will you try?"

"What, with a man who avows he does not scruple to take every advan­tage?"

"Have you not eyes? Are you, a metaphysician, a wit, and a senator, so easily deceived?"

"A man may lose his temper; and with it his caution."

"So you think yourself able to instruct the world, but not to keep your mind calm and circumspect for half an hour?"

"Had I a sufficient motive, I should suppose I have strength enough for such an exertion."

"Then try. The exercise will be wholesome. Shew your skill and acute­ness. Here is your twenty-pound bill: win and take it; or own that you have no confidence in yourself."

"I have that confidence which assures [Page 103] me I shall, one day or other, convince you that I understand the road to hap­piness better than yourself."

"Yet you are cursedly afraid of me. You scarcely can sit still. You blame your own rashness, in venturing to spend the afternoon with me: and now you would as soon handle burning coals as a pack of cards in my company."

"And what is it you find so omnipo­tent in yourself, that it should induce you to all this vapouring?"

"I tell you again, you dare not oppose your penetration to mine. You pretend to despise me, yet own I am your master. A child is not in more fear of the rod than you are of me."

He saw he had sufficiently piqued me, and rang the bell for cards. They were brought: he shuffled, cut them, and con­tinued to banter me.

"What card do you chuse?—The knave of hearts?—There it is!" [He [Page 104] shewed it, with a flirt of the cards, at the bottom of the pack.] His brother of dia­monds?—Look! You have it!—Of spades?—Presto! It is here! You have three knaves on your side, you see. I will keep the fourth, and drive you out of the field—Come, for twenty?"

"I see your aim, and am devilishly tempted to shew you that you are not half so cunning as you think yourself."

"I know you are: but you dare not. You cannot shake off your fears. The wit, the metaphysician, the young sena­tor suspects he is only a half-fledged bird."

"Cut for deal, sir."

"Why, will you venture?—The nine."

The sudden recollection of Mr. Eve­lyn, the money I had received from him, the generous confidence he had reposed in me, and the guilt of daring to abuse that confidence, fortunately seized me [Page 105] with a kind of horror. I snatched up the cards, dashed them in the fire, and in a moment recovering myself said—"You shall find, sir, that, whether I can or can­not master you, I can master myself."

"Come, you do not go out of this room without the chance of losing twenty guineas for twenty."

"Done!" answered I, impetuously: which he in an instant echoed with Done! Done! and, again bursting into laughter, held out his hand and bade me pay my losings.

I immediately discovered, without his explanation, that he had entrapped me, by the equivocal sense of the word chance; and I drew out my purse to pay him, with a strong feeling of indignation that I should be so caught.

However, as it was not his intention to profit by so bald and barefaced a quirk, he only laughed; and exclaimed—"How much the young gentleman is his own [Page 106] master! But I will not pick your pocket. If at any time I should want twenty pounds, I shall have a fair claim to ask it as a loan."

"Would you but really act like a man of honour, there would be no need of such an artifice."

"Perhaps not, for the first time. But if my poor honor were starving, and could not repay its borrowings, I am afraid my honor would irrevocably be lost. I there­fore prefer, since in either case lose it I must, to lose it and eat. But the birds are now beginning to flock together; and I must begone, to the pigeon-house: the rookery."

"I do not understand the terms."

"The plucking office: the crab and nick nest: the pip and bone quarry: the rafflearium: the trumpery: the blas­pheming box: the elbow shaking shop: the wholesale ague and fever ware­house."

[Page 107]"In plain English, to an assembly of gamblers."

"Where I shall meet with much the same degree of honesty, virtue, wisdom, and all that, as is to be found in certain other assemblies."

CHAP. VIII.

I LEFT the tavern in no very pleasant temper of mind: impatient that I should be unable to convince, and reform, a man of such extraordinary acuteness as Bel­mont: vexed that he, on the contrary, should persuade himself that he was my [Page 108] master; and should actually irritate me to a dangerous excess of vanity: and disgusted that vice and virtue should be so confused, in the minds of men, as to render their boundaries almost undisco­verable.

Such I mean was the impression that Belmont had left upon my mind, by re­peating the stale but dangerous maxim that—men are vicious by nature; and, therefore, that to profit by their vices is no more than just.

When I arrived at my lodgings, which were now in Albemarle-street, for I had changed them, I found the following note from Miss Wilmot.

"Come to me immediately. I have something to tell you which you little expect."

Belmont and my chagrin were for­gotten in an instant; and away I hurried, brim full of agitation, conjecture, and impatience.

[Page 109]I found Miss Wilmot alone; and her first words were—"Oh, Mr. Trevor! you are a happy man!"

I stood panting, or rather gasping, with hope; and made no reply. She thus continued.

"Miss Mowbray has been here."

"Good heavens!"

"She has acted like herself. I know not how I shall tell you the story, so as to do her justice."

"For the love of God, proceed!"

"As nearly as I can recollect her words, she began in this manner."

'I cannot tell, my dear friend,' ad­dressing herself to me, 'what you will think of my conduct. At one moment I suspect it to be wrong; and at the next blame myself for not having taken my present step sooner. I have surely been grossly misled. This indeed I have long suspected; and it cannot but be my duty to enquire. Have you lately seen Mr. Trevor?'

[Page 110]'I never fail to see him every day. I have a letter from him, for you; which he has disdained to take any clandes­tine means of conveying to you. Here it is.'

'Before I dare think about his letter, answer me one question. Is he a mur­derer?'

'A murderer! In the name of God! what can induce you to make such an enquiry?'

'I have been assured that he has caused the death of two men: one of whom he killed himself.'

'Where? When? How?'

'At Bath. By delivering one over to the fury of the mob; and by afterward provoking, insulting, and fighting with the other.'

'Heavens and earth! It is false! wickedly false!'

'Nay but do you know his story?'

'Perfectly. I have heard it, not only [Page 111] from himself, but, from the man whom I suppose you have been told he has murdered.'

'What man?'

'Nay you shall hear and see. You shall have the whole history from the person's own mouth.'

'Is he alive? Is he in London?'

'I will send for him. He will be here in a few minutes. You will then hear what this man has to say. He al­most adores Mr. Trevor.'

"I immediately dispatched Mary for Mr. Clarke, who works not far off, as I suppose you know, and who came run­ning the moment he heard that the lady you are in love with enquired for him.

"Mary informs me that his heart leaped to his eyes (it was her own phrase) when he was told she wanted to question him concerning you; that he sprang up, clapped his hands, and exclaimed—'I [Page 112] am glad of it! I am glad of it! The time is come! All shall be known! He shall be righted! I will take care of that! He shall be righted!'

"He entered the room breathless; and, the moment he saw Miss Mowbray, he could not forbear to gaze at her: though bashfulness made him continually turn his eyes away.

"She addressed him, with that mild­ness of manner which is so winning in her, and said—'I have taken the liberty, sir, to send for you; to ask a few questions.'

"He replied, with a burst of zeal— 'I am glad of it, madam! I am glad of it, from my heart and soul! I wish you knew all I could tell you about Mr. Trevor: but it is quite unpossible that I should remember it one half. Only this I will say, and dare the best man in Eng­land to deny it, there is not such another brave and kind-hearted gentleman walks the earth. I have had proof enough of [Page 113] it. He knows, for all he is a gentleman, ay and a true gentleman too, for he has parts, and learning, and a christian soul, which does not teach him to scorn and make a scoff of the poor: he knows that a man is a man; even though he should only happen to be a poor carpenter, like myself. God in heaven bless him! say I.'

"The enthusiasm of your generous humble friend overpowered Miss Mow­bray; she burst into tears, and hid her face. Her passion was catching, and I followed her example. Clarke continued.

'On that night that he had the good hap to save your life, and the life of that old cankered lady, which as I find from all that passed she must be, though he talks of her too kindly by half, why the stopping of the frightened horses, just do you see in the jaws of destruction, and propping the coach was all his doing. He knew better what he was about than the coachman himself. And then, if [Page 114] you had seen him, as I did, after all was over! I thought I had loved my Sally dearly. And so I do! But what am I? I thought too I durst have stood up to the boldest man that ever stood on shoe leather! And perhaps I durst: but I find I am nothing in any case to be. For which he never despises me: but insists upon it that I am as good a man as he, in any way. And as for you, madam, he would jump into burning lakes rather than a hair of your head should be singed. I know it: for I have seen it.'

'I know it too,' said Miss Mowbray; sobbing. Then, with an effort to quell her passion, she asked in a firmer tone: 'Pray, sir, tell me: did not you work at Bath?'

'Yes, madam: the greatest part of my life.'

'You appear to know of a battle, that Mr. Trevor fought?'

'Yes, yes, madam. I know it pretty [Page 115] well. I shall remember it as long as I live, for more reasons than one.'

'Was there a man killed?'

'No, madam: God be praised! I should have died in my sins, unprepared and wicked as I was: being possessed with passion. He, God bless him! for all he is a gentleman, begged my pardon like a man; and held out his hand, and prayed over and over that I would forget and forgive. But, as I tell you, I was possessed. I could be nothing else: be­cause, in the way of hard fighting, I despised a gentleman. But he gave me to know better, as obstinate as I was: for, even after he had beaten me once, why, he begged and prayed, as he had done at first, to make it all up. But, as I said before, the Evil One had taken hold of me; and I refused to give in, till I was carried as dead as a stock off of the place.'

[Page 116]'Then it was you that was reported to have been killed?'

'Why, yes, madam: because it could be nobody else.'

'Nay, but was not there a poor man ducked to death?'

'No: God be thanked, once again! It was not quite so bad as that. Though the hot-headed fools and rabble, that got hold of me, did use me ill enough, I must say: for which I was so angry with Mr. Trevor; and it was therefore that Old Nick put it into my head that I would beat him. For I cannot deny but the ducking did dwell upon my memory.'

'Were you then the same person that was so ill treated at Lansdown races?'

'Yes, madam: for which, though I used to be angry enough before time at pick-pockets, I will take special care never to have a hand in ducking any body, as long as I live.'

'And is there no truth whatever in [Page 117] the story that two men were killed, by the ungovernable passion and malice of Mr. Trevor?'

'Killed by Mr. Trevor, madam! No, no! He is not that sort of man. He would rather be killed himself than be the death of any christian soul: 'specially if he was a poor body. I can say that for him. Why he fought like a mad man, to save me from the mob; when they were hustling me, and dragging me along. But, while one part of them gathered round him, the other had got far enough off with me. It being all a mistake about a handkerchief: which he told them. And, though I heard him and saw him beat about just as if he had been a lion to save me, I could not forget how I had been used, when I met him the next day. But I hope God will forgive me! which I do believe he will, for Mr. Trevor has shewn him the ex­ample. I beg pardon! God forgive me! [Page 118] I only mean that, though Mr. Trevor is a good gentleman, the Lord of heaven must be a better; and even more chari­table and melting in his heart. Which, to be sure, is very strange: because I do not altogether understand how it can be.'

'Then it seems your brother is still living?'

'Brother, madam? I never had any brother! nor any thing of that kind: except my wife's sisters, which I love because I love she.'

'What strange tales I have been told!'

'That I dare be sworn you have, ma­dam, from what I have heard. Because there was the sham-Abraham friends of Mr. Trevor: one of which kicked him, when he was down!'

'Is it possible?'

'It is as true as God is in heaven, madam!'

'Do you know his name?'

[Page 119]'He was as tall as a Maypole. And then after he had done this cowardly trick, why he durst not stand up to Mr. Trevor, like a man. And so, madam, finding as you have been told a parcel of trumpery tales, I hope in God you will be kind enough not to believe one of them; now that you see they are all false. For if there be a gentleman on the face of the earth that loves a lady to desperation, why, Mr. Trevor is he; as you would have been satisfied, if you had set by his bed­side when as he was down in the fever; like as I and my Sally did; and had heard him rave of nobody but you. And then if you had seen him too the night after he took you out of the coach! and then went on to Hounslow. Which, as he said, seeing it was parting with you, was worse than tearing his heart out of his body! But he was so afraid of doing you harm! and of setting that cross old lady to scold you! For he would suffer death rather [Page 120] than anger you. So that, while I have breath to draw, I shall never forget, when we came to the inn, how he look­ed! and stood quite lost and changing colour! and while his face was as set as stone, the tears kept trickling down his cheeks! At which I was put into a panic: for I did not at that time know what it was about, nor who we had been in com­pany with. Which was the more sur­prising, when I came to hear! For which, as he knows you to be so good a lady, I am sure you must see all these particulars just in the same light.'

"Miss Mowbray had heard sufficient. Her heart was bursting. It was with difficulty she could check her feelings, and she made no reply. Your unassum­ing but intelligent friend understood her silence as an intimation to him to with­draw. Zealous as you hear he was in your behalf, this thought put an end to his loquacity. But, as he was retiring, [Page 121] Miss Mowbray drew out her purse, and said to him—'Let me beg you, sir, to accept this; as a recompense, for—for having aided in saving the lives of me and my aunt.'

"As she stretched out her hand, he looked up at her, as long as he durst; and then, turning his eyes away, said— 'Why, as for money, madam, I thank you as much as if I had it: but, if I was to take it, what would that seem? but as if I had been telling a tale only to please you: when I declare, in the face of my Maker, it is every word truth! And a great deal more! And as for saving your lives, I was as willing I own as another: but I was not half so quick in thought as Mr. Trevor. Because, as the coachman said, if he had not catched hold of the horses in that very instant nick of the moment, it would have been all over! So I hope, madam, you will not take it [Page 122] amiss that I am not one of the sort which tell tales to gain their own ends.'

"Here he instantly left the room: by which he intended to shew that he was determined.

"Clarke was no sooner gone than Miss Mowbray burst into the most pas­sionate, and I really believe the most rapturous, flood of tears that the heart of woman ever shed! And how melting, how overflowing with affection, the heart of woman is, Mr. Trevor, I think you know.

"Good God! How pure, how ex­pressive, how beaming, was the pleasure in her eyes! though she sobbed so vio­lently that she had lost all utterance. How did she press my hand, gaze at me, then bury her face in my bosom, and struggle with the pleasure that was be­coming dangerous in its excess!

"After some time, her thoughts took [Page 123] another turn. She instantly recovered the use of speech and exclaimed—'Oh, my friend! I almost hate myself, for the injustice which I, as well as others, have done Mr. Trevor—I, who had heard from his lips a thousand sentiments that ought to have assured me of the generous and elevated virtues by which his actions were directed! He has twice saved my life; and yet, because on some occasions he has happened to act differently from what I have supposed he ought to have acted, I have taken upon me to treat him with coldness that was affected, with re­proof when I owed him thanks, and with rudeness such as I supposed became my sex.

'For me he has risked his life again and again, without hesitation: while I have sat in timid silence, and counte­nanced calumnies which it was impossible I could believe; though I seem as if I had endeavoured to believe them, from [Page 124] the disgrace which I knew would justly light on me, should these calumnies prove false. False I could not but think them, false they have proved, and I am unworthy of him. I have presumed upon the pre­judices which I knew would protect me, in the opinions of the foolish, and gain me their applause, and have treated him with a haughtiness which he ought to despise. Has he deserved it? Has he been guilty of one mean or seductive art, that might induce me to betray a duty, and gratify him at the expence of myself and others? Has he entered into that base warfare of the sexes by which each in turn endeavours to deceive?'

"The thought suddenly struck her, and interrupting herself she hastily asked —'Where is the letter you mentioned? I will read it. I know I shall read my own condemnation: but I will read it.'

"I presented the letter, and replied, 'Mr. Trevor instructed me to tell you, [Page 125] when I delivered it, that it contains no­thing which he wishes you to conceal, should you think fit to shew it; that it does not invite you to any improper cor­respondence; and that it is the only one which, under his present circumstances, he means to obtrude upon you.'

"Evidently overcome by the generous rectitude of your conduct, and more dis­satisfied with her own, she broke the seal and began to read.

"She hurried it once over with great eagerness, and trepidation. She then paused; debating whether she should unburthen her mind immediately of a crowd of thoughts: but, finding they crossed and disturbed each other, she be­gan again and read aloud; interrupting herself by remarks, as she proceeded.

'My reproof and anger''—Yes, yes, I have taught him to treat me like a Sul­tana. He punishes me justly without intending it.

[Page 126] 'You have supposed me dead'—"Here, addressing herself to me, she added— 'It was his servant, Philip, who being hired by a gentleman that came to Scarborough brought us this false intel­ligence. His story was that he saw Mr. Trevor's distraction, on the morning after he had lost his money at a gaming-table; to which rashness as it should seem he was driven by despair; that Mr. Trevor ran into the fields, in a fit of frenzy, and threw himself into the Avon: that he, Philip, who had followed as fast as he could, hastened to the place but never saw him more; and that consequently and beyond all doubt he was there drowned.

'Philip, according to his own account, hurried into the water, and used every means in his power to find the body: but, not being successful, he returned to his master's lodgings, took some trifles that had been given him, and left Bath [Page 127] by the morning coach for London; hav­ing nobody in Bath to give him a cha­racter, and being less likely there to meet with another place.'

"I informed Miss Mowbray that this was part of it true, and part false: for that Philip had taken a ten-pound note, which more than paid him his wages; and that the other things, which he car­ried away, had not been given him."

'Indeed!' exclaimed Miss Mowbray, 'I am exceedingly sorry to hear it: for, after his second master left Scarborough and he was hired by my aunt to wait on me, he behaved with great diligence and honesty.

'Yet this accounts in part for his run­ning away: which he did that very night after I suppose he had discovered it was Mr. Trevor, at Cranford-bridge; and I have never seen or heard of him since.

'I am persuaded he thought Mr. Trevor dead: for, after I had heard [Page 128] my brother's account of the battle, I thought the time and the circumstances contradictory, and repeatedly questioned Philip; who persisted in declaring he saw Mr. Trevor jump into the river and drown himself.

'Philip's account was that he had him­self been out on errands early in the morning, at which time he supposed the battle must have been fought; and, though there were many contradictory circum­stances, the positiveness with which the two tales were told led me to believe that the chief incidents of both were true. And, as I say, the flight of Philip from Cranford-bridge persuades me that he actually had believed Mr. Trevor dead.

'I am sorry the poor fellow has done this wrong thing, and been frightened away: for I never before heard a servant speak with so much warmth and affection of a master, as he did of Mr. Trevor.'

"She then continued to read; and [Page 129] made many observations, which expressed dissatisfaction with herself and were fa­vourable to you, till she came to where you inform her that you had begun to study the law."

'By this I find,' said she, 'the story I have just heard is false.'

"I asked, What story is that, pray?"

"She replied, 'I was last night at the opera; where I saw Mr. Trevor, with Lady Bray. Having so lately met with him under circumstances so diffe­rent, and apparently disadvantageous, you may imagine that the joy I felt and the hope I conceived were not trifling.

'My aunt saw him, likewise: but, as she was not so familiar with his person as to have no doubt, she first watched and then questioned me: though, as she up­braidingly told me, she needed only to have enquired of my looks.

'I ought perhaps first to have informed you that I had thought it my duty to use [Page 130] the utmost sincerity, undeceive her, and declare all that I knew of what had passed at Cranford-bridge.

'I performed this task on that very night, while her heart was alive to the danger she had escaped, and when she expressed a lively regret that the per­son from whom she had received such signal aid had disappeared. Except his silence in the coach, she said every thing bespoke him to be a gentleman: well bred, well educated, courageous, and as active as he was bold.

'When she was told that the gentle­man, of whom she had been speaking with so much warmth, had a peculiar motive for being silent, and that this gentleman was no other than Mr. Tre­vor, she was very much moved. The recollection of the manner in which she had been treating his character, and of the alacrity with which he had afterward saved her life, was exceedingly strong; [Page 131] and far from unmixed with pain. Before she was aware of herself, she exclaimed, This Mr. Trevor is a very extraordinary young man!

'Unfortunately for Mr. Trevor, our ser­vant, Philip, had absconded; and a train of suspicions immediately arose in her mind. It might be a conspiracy among them; a desperate and unprincipled contrivance, to effect a desperate and unprincipled purpose.

'In this supposition she confirmed her­self by every possible surmise: each and all resting upon the assumed league be­tween Philip and Mr. Trevor.

'I vainly urged that the sudden dis­appearing of both entirely contradicted such a conjecture; that Mr. Trevor, if he were capable of an action like this, must be as wicked as he was mad; and that I had every reason to believe him a man of the most generous and elevated principles. As you may suppose, these [Page 132] arguments from me only subjected me to reproof, sarcasm, and even suspicion.

'My aunt fortified herself in her opi­nion; and behaved with a more jealous watchfulness than ever. She even ter­rified me with the dread of that which I could not credit: the possibility that what she affirmed might be true.

'But, that I might do every thing in my power to prove that one part of her surmises was false, I determined cautiously to avoid, for the present, seeing or even hearing any thing concerning Mr. Trevor. And this was my inducement for writing the note, which you re­ceived.

'My mind however suffered a con­tinual conflict. I debated on the pro­priety of listening to the daily defamation of Mr. Trevor, when there were so many presumptive facts in his favour, and not endeavouring to prove that it was false; and I accused my conduct of apparent [Page 133] hypocrisy: of assuming a calm unconcern which my heart belied.

'The sight of him at the Opera renew­ed my self-reproaches, in full force; and, likewise, fortunately awakened my aunt's curiosity.

'Accordingly, one of our morning visits, to-day, has been to a friend of Lady Bray's; and there we learned that Mr. Trevor had been introduced, by Sir Bar­nard, to his lady and their common friends; as a young gentleman coming into parliament, and supposed to be pos­sessed of extraordinary talents.

'This I find by his letter is untrue; and there still appears to be some mystery which perhaps, as you see him so often, you may be able to unravel.'

"I immediately requested her to look at the date of the letter; by which she saw it had been written several weeks: and afterward made her acquainted with all the particulars I knew, concerning [Page 134] your beginning and renouncing the study of the law, and your new political plans: most carefully remembering to give your noble minded friend, Mr. Evelyn, his due share of what I had to relate.

"Oh! how did her eyes swim, and her features glow, while I stated what I had heard of his sentiments and proceedings! Yes! She has a heart! a heart to match your own, Mr. Trevor.

"She then read the remainder of the letter; but with numerous interruptions, all of them expressing her admiration of your conduct by criminating her own.

"When she had ended, she spoke to me nearly as follows.

'I am now, my dear friend, determined on the conduct I mean to pursue. Oh! How it delights my heart that Mr. Tre­vor accords with me in opinion, and ad­vises me to that open sincerity after which I have long been struggling, and which I am at length resolved to adopt! I [Page 135] mean to inform my aunt of all that I know, as well as of all that I intend. I will tell her where I have been, shew her this letter, repeat every thing I have heard, and add my fixed purpose not to admit the addresses of any man on earth; till my family shall authorise those of Mr. Trevor. For that, or for the time when I shall be unconditionally my own mis­tress, however distant it may be, I will wait.

'Tell Mr. Trevor that my heart is overwhelmed by the sense it feels of his generous and noble conduct; that it ex­ults in his manly forbearance, which so cautiously guards my rectitude rather than his own gratification; that I will obey his injunction, and that we will have no clandestine correspondence; but that our souls shall commune: they shall daily sympathise, and mutually excite us to that perseverance in fidelity and virtue [Page 136] which will be their own reward, and the consolation and joy of our lives.

'If my aunt, my brother, or any of their acquaintance, should again calum­niate Mr. Trevor, I will forewarn them of my further determination to inform him, and enquire into the facts. But I hope they will neither be so unjust nor so ungenerous. At least, I think my aunt will not; when she hears the truth, knows my resolution, and remembers Cranford-bridge.

'Of misinterpretation from Mr. Tre­vor I am in no fear. Had he one sinister design, he never could have imagined the conduct he has so nobly pursued. But to suppose the possibility of such a thing in him would be a most unpardonable injustice. The man who should teach me to distrust him, as a lover, could never inspire me with admiration and con­fidence, as a husband. But different [Page 137] indeed has been the lesson I have learned from Mr. Trevor.

'Oh that Mr. Evelyn! What a god­like morality has he adopted! How rational! How full of benefit to others, and of happiness to himself!

'But Mr. Trevor's friends are all of this uncommon stamp; and I own that to look into futurity, and to suppose myself excluded by prejudice and pride from the enjoyment of such society, is perhaps the most painful idea that can afflict the mind. I am almost afraid of owning even to you, my kind and sympathising friend, the torrent of emotions I feel at the thought of the pure pleasures I hope for hereafter; from a life spent with a partner like Mr. Trevor, heightened by the intercourse of the generous, benevo­lent, and strong-minded men who share his heart.'

To detail all that farther passed, be­tween Olivia and Miss Wilmot, with the [Page 138] particulars which the latter related to me, would but be to repeat sensations and in­cidents that are already familiar to the reader. And, with respect to my own feelings, those he will doubtless have an­ticipated. What could they be but rap­ture? What could they inspire but re­solution: the power to endure, and the will to persevere?

CHAP. IX.

PREVIOUS to this event, I should have imagined it impossible to have increased [Page 139] my affection: yet, if admiration be the basis of love, as I am persuaded it is, my love was certainly increased. I now seemed to be setting forward on a jour­ney, of the length of which I was indeed wholly ignorant; but the road was made plain, and the end was inexpressible hap­piness. I should therefore travel with unwearied alacrity.

But, that I might shorten this un­measured length of way, it was necessary I should be as active in pursuit as I was ardent in my passion: and the stimulus was a strong one. Oratory accordingly, Olivia excepted, became the object that seemed the dearest to my heart. De­mosthenes and Cicero were my great masters. They and their modern com­petitors were my study, day and night. No means were neglected that precept or example, as far as they came within my knowledge, could afford: and the additional intercourse which I thus ac­quired [Page 140] with man, his motives, actions, and heart, was a school of the highest order.

I did not however entirely confine myself to the society of the dead: the living likewise constituted a seminary, in which I found frequent opportunities of gaining instruction. Impelled by curi­osity and ambition, I was not remiss in cultivating an acquaintance among those people of fashion to whom I gained access.

But, as the tribe that bestow on them­selves this titillating epithet have a light and versatile character, as they abound in praises that are void of discrimination, and promises that are unmeaning, and affect at one moment the most winning urbanity, and at the next the most super­cilious arrogance, though they gave me much pleasure, they likewise gave me ex­quisite pain.

The more I became acquainted with [Page 141] them, the more I was amazed, that the man who had been talking to me in the evening on terms of the utmost apparent equality, if I met him the next morn­ing, did not know me.

Some of them would even gaze full in my face, as if to enquire—"Who are you, sir?" but in reality to insult me. The looks of these most courteous and polished people seem to say "In the name of all that is high-bred, how does it happen that persons of fashion do not unite to stare every such impertinent upstart out of their company?"

Of all the insolence that disturbs so­ciety, and puts it in a state of internal warfare, the insolence of fashion wounds and imbitters the most. It instantly pro­vokes the offended person to enquire— 'What kind of being is it, that takes upon him to brave, insult, and despise me? Has he more strength, more activity, more understanding than myself?' In [Page 142] numerous instances, he is imbecile in body, more imbecile still in mind, and contemptible in person. Nay he is often little better than a driveller.

He, whom the hauteur of fashion has compelled to reason thus, will soon be led to further and more serious inferences.

Nothing can reconcile men, so as to induce them to remain peaceable spec­tators of enjoyments beyond their attain­ment, except that unaffected benevolence which shall continually actuate the heart to communicate all the happiness it has the power to bestow. This only can so temper oppression as to render gradual and orderly reform practicable.

But I am talking to the winds.

This wavering between extreme civility and rudeness was conspicuous in the beha­viour of the Bray family toward me. Her Ladyship, at one moment, would overlook me, I being present, as if no such person had been in existence: or as if he were [Page 143] not half so worthy of attention as her lap-dog; for, as a proof, on the lap-dog it was lavished: yet, at another, I was ab­solutely the most charming man on earth. I had positively the most refined taste, good breeding, and all that that she had ever known.

With Sir Barnard I was sometimes an oracle. To me his discourse was direct­ed, to my judgment his appeals were made, and my opinions were decisive. In other fits he would not condescend to notice me. If I interfered with a sen­tence, he would pursue the conversation as if an objection made by me were un­worthy of an answer; and perhaps, if I asked him a question, he would affect to be deaf, and make no reply.

These are arts which render the con­dition of a supposed inferior truly hateful: and, as they were severely felt, they were severely remembered, and now and then [Page 144] retaliated in a spirit which I cannot ap­plaud.

If the history of such emotions were traced through all their consequences, and if men were aware how much the prin­cipal events of their lives are the result of the petty ebullitions of passion, that branch of morals which should regulate the temper of mind, tone of voice, and expression of the countenance, would be­come a very serious study.

This remark is as old as Adam: and yet it relates to a science that is only in its infancy.

How fatal the want of such a necessary command of temper had been to me the reader already knows: and, though at moments I was painfully conscious of the defect, and it was become less ob­trusive, it was far from cured. It still hovered over and influenced my fate: as will be seen.

[Page 145]The old parliament was not yet dis­solved: it had met, and was sitting. But the defection of Sir Barnard's member was of late date; and, as the Baronet had his motives for not wishing to provoke the honorable member whom he had made too violently, there was a kind of compromise; and the apostate was suffer­ed to keep his seat, during the short re­mainder of the term.

Sir Barnard however, as I have said, delighted in his prop. It was as necessary to him as his cane; and I generally ac­companied him, when he visited any kind of political assemblies.

It happened that there was an annual dinner of the gentlemen who had been educated at *** ****; of which din­ner Sir Barnard was appointed one of the stewards. That he might acquit himself of this arduous task with eclat, I was of course presented with a ticket; and at­tended as his aid de camp.

[Page 146]The company was numerous, and the stewards and the chairman met something more early than the rest, to regulate the important business of the day.

When I entered the committee room, with the Baronet, the first person that caught my eye was the Earl of Idford.

I shrunk back. I had a momentary hesitation whether I should insult him or instantly quit the company; and disdain to enter an apartment polluted by his presence.

I had however just good sense enough to recollect that a quarrel, in such a place, nobody knew why, would be equally ri­diculous and rash: and that to avoid any man was cowardly.

The thought awakened me; and, collecting myself, I advanced with a firm and cool air.

Habit and perversity of system had done that for his lordship to which his fortitude was inadequate. He was at [Page 147] least as cool, and as intrepid, as myself; and bowed to me with the utmost ease and civility. To return his bow was infinitely more repulsive than taking a toad in my hand: yet to forbear would have been a violation of the first prin­ciples of the behaviour of a gentleman. I therefore reluctantly and formally com­plied. I hope the reader remembers how earnestly I condemn this want of temper in myself.

His lordship took not the least notice of the coldness of my manner; but, with simpering complacency, "hoped I had been well, since he had had the pleasure of seeing me."

My reply was another slight inclina­tion of the head, tinctured with disdain: on which his lordship turned his back, with a kind of open-mouthed noncha­lance that was truly epigrammatic; and fell into conversation with Sir Barnard, who had advanced toward the fire, with [Page 148] all the apparent ease of the most intimate friendship: though, since his lordship had changed sides, they had become, in politics at least, the most outrageous enemies.

This brought a train of reflections into my mind, on the behaviour of political partisans toward each other; and on the efforts they make, after they have been venting the most cutting sarcasms in their mutual parliamentary attacks, to behave out of doors as if they had totally forgotten what had passed within: or were incapable, if not of feeling, of re­membering insult.

What is most remarkable, the men of greatest talent exert this amenity with the greatest effect: for they utter and receive the most biting reproaches, yet meet each other as if no such bickerings had ever passed.

It is not then, in characters like these, hypocrisy?

[Page 149]No. It is an effort to live in harmony with mankind: yet to speak the truth and tell them of their mistakes unspar­ingly, and regardless of personal danger. In other words, it is an attempt to per­form the most sacred of duties: but the manner of performing it effectually has hitherto been ill understood.

Sir Barnard had witnessed the short scene between me and his lordship; and presently took occasion to ask me in a whisper, "how and where we had become acquainted?"

I replied "I had resided in the house of his lordship."

"Ay, indeed!" said the Baronet. In what capacity?"

My pride was piqued, and I answered, "As his companion; and, as I was taught to suppose myself, his friend. But I was soon cured of my mistake."

"By what means?"

[Page 150]By his lordship's patriotism. By the purity of his politics."

I spoke with a sneer, and the Baronet burst into a malicious laugh of triumph: but, unwilling that the cause of it should be suspected, it was instantly restrained.

"What concern had you," continued he, "in his lordship's politics?"

"I have reason to believe I helped to reconcile him to the Minister."

"You, Mr. Trevor! How came you to do so unprincipled, so profligate, a thing?"

"It was wholly unintentional."

"I do not understand you."

"I wrote certain letters that were printed in the—"

"What, Mr. Trevor! were you the author of the three last letters of The­mistocles?"

"I was."

The Baronet's face glowed with ex­ultation. [Page 151] "I knew," said he with a vehe­ment but under voice, "he never wrote them himself! I have said it a thousand times; and I am not easily deceived. Every body said the same."

There is no calculating how much the knowlege of this circumstance raised me in Sir Barnard's opinion; and conse­quently elevated himself, in the idea he conceived of his own power. "Had he indeed got hold of the author of The-mistocles? Why then he was a great man! A prodigious senator! The wish of his heart was accomplished! He could now wreak vengeance where he most wished it to fall; and fall it should, with­out mercy or, remission." His little soul was on tip-toe, and he overlooked the world.

Though we had retired to the farthest corner of the room, and his lordship pretended to be engaged in chit chat with persons who were proud of his [Page 152] condescension, I could perceive his sus­picions were awakened. His eye re­peatedly gave enquiring glances; and, while it endeavoured to counterfeit in­difference by a stare, it was disturbed and contracted by apprehension.

Malignity, hatred, and revenge, are closely related; and of these passions men of but little mental powers are very susceptible. It is happy for society that their impotence impedes the execution of their desires. I was odious in the sight of Lord Idford in every point of view: for he had first injured me; which, as has been often remarked, too frequently renders him who commits the injury implacable; and he had since en­countered a rival in me; which was an insult that his vanity and pride could ill indeed digest.

Still however he was a courtier; a man of fashion; a person of the best breeding; and therefore could smile.

[Page 153]A smile is a delightful thing, when it is the genuine offspring of the heart: but heaven defend me from the jaundiced eye, the simpering lip, and the wrinkled cheek; that turn smiles to grimace, and give the lie to open and undisguised pleasure.

It was a smile such as this that his lordship bestowed upon me, when I and the Baronet joined his group. Addressing himself to me, with a simper that antici­pated the pain he intended to give, he said—"Do you know, Mr. Trevor, that your friend the bishop of — is to dine with us? You will be glad to meet each other."

I instantly replied, with fire in my eyes, "I shall be as glad to meet that most pious and right reverend pastor as I was to meet your lordship."

Agreeably to rule, he bowed; and gave the company to understand he took this as a polite acknowledgment of respect. But his gesture was accompanied with a [Page 154] disconcerted leer of smothered malice, which I could not misinterpret. It was sardonic; and, to me, who knew what was passing in his heart, disgusting, and painful.

I had scarcely spoken before my lord the bishop entered; and with him, as two supporters—Heavens! Who?—The pre­sident of the college where I had been educated; and the tutor, whose veto had prevented me from taking my degrees!

In the life of every man of enterprise there are moments of extreme peril. In an instant, and as it were by enchant­ment, I saw myself surrounded by the cowardly, servile, dwarf-demons, for so my imagination painted them, who had been my chief tormentors. Or rather by reptiles the most envenomed; with which I was shut up, as if I had been thrown into their den; and by which, if I did not exterminate them, I must expect to be devoured.

[Page 155]But these feelings were of short du­ration. My heart found an immediate repellent, both to fear and revenge, in my eyes. Good God! What were the figures now before me? Such as to ex­cite pity, in every bosom that was not shut to commiseration for the vices into which mankind are mistakenly hurried; and for their deplorable consequences. What a fearful alteration had a few months produced! In the bishop espe­cially!

He had been struck by the palsy, and dragged one side along with extreme dif­ficulty. His bloated cheeks and body had fallen into deep pits; and the swelling massy parts were of a black-red hue, so that the skin appeared a bag of morbid contents. His mouth was drawn awry, his speech entirely inarticulate, his eye obscured by thick rheum, and his clothes were stained by the saliva that occasion­ally driveled from his lips. His legs were [Page 156] wasted, his breast was sunk, and his pro­tuberant paunch looked like the recep­tacle of dropsy, atrophy, catarrh, and every imaginable malady.

My heart sunk within me. Poor crea­ture! What would I have given to have possessed the power of restoring thee to something human! Resentment to thee? Alas! Had I not felt compassion, such as never can be forgotten, I surely should have despised, should have almost hated, myself.

The president was evidently travelling the same road. His legs, which had been extremely muscular, instead of being as round and smooth in their surface as they formerly were, each appeared to be co­vered with innumerable nodes; that formed irregular figures, and angles. What they were swathed with I cannot imagine: but I conjecture there must have been stiff brown paper next to the smooth silk stocking, which produced the [Page 157] irregularities of the surface. The dull­ness of his eyes, the slowness of their motions, his drooping eyelids, his flaccid cheeks, his hanging chin, and the bag­ging of his cloaths, all denoted waste, want of animation, lethargy, debility and decline.

The condition of the tutor was no less pitiable. He was gasping with an asthma; and was obliged incessantly to struggle with suffocation. It was what physicians call a confirmed case: while he lived, he was doomed to live in pain. Where is the tyrant that can invent tortures, equal to those which men invent for them­selves?

These were the guests who were come to feast: to indulge appetites they had never been able to subdue, though their appetites were vipers that were eating away their vitals.

How strongly did this scene bring to my recollection Pope on the ruling pas­sion! [Page 158] I could almost fancy I heard the poor bishop quoting

The present man is but the slave of the past. What induced the president and the tutor, when the bishop's more able-bodied footmen had rather carried than conducted him up stairs, officially to be­come his supporters as he entered the room? Was it unmixed humanity? Or was it those servile habits to which their cunning had subjected them? and by which they supposed not only that pre­ferment but that happiness was attain­able.

Humanity doubtless had its share; for it is a sensation that never utterly aban­dons the breast of man: and, as it is often strengthened by a consciousness that we ourselves are in need of aid, let [Page 159] us suppose that the president and the tutor were become humane.

Though feelings of acrimony towards these persons were entirely deadened in me by the spectacle I beheld, yet I knew not well how to behave. I was prompted to shew them how placable I was be­come, by accosting them first: but this might be misconstrued into that servility for which I had thought of them with so much contempt. Beside, the bishop and the president, if not the tutor, were in the phraseology of the world my supe­riors; and etiquette had established the rule that, if they thought proper to no­tice me, they would be the first to salute.

His lordship however eased me of far­ther trouble on this head, by asking the bishop—"Have you forgotten your old acquaintance Mr. Trevor, my lord?."

What answer this consecrated right reverend father returned I could not hear. He muttered something: but the sounds [Page 160] were as unintelligible as the features of his face; or the drooping deadness of his eyes. The president, however, hearing this, thought proper to bow: though very slightly, till the earl added, with a sig­nificant emphasis on the two last words —"Sir Barnard is become Mr. Trevor's particular friend;" which was no sooner pronounced than the countenances of both the bishop's supporters changed, to something which might be called exceed­ingly civil, in the tutor, and prodigi­ously condescending, in the president.

This was a memorable day: and, if the event which I have now to relate should be offensive to the feelings of any man, or any class of men, I can only say that I share the common fate of his­torians: who, though they should relate nothing but facts, never fail to excite displeasure, if not resentment and perse­cution, in the partisans of this or that par­ticular opinion, faction, or establishment.

[Page 161]The dinner was served. It was sump­tuous: or rather such as gluttony de­lights in. The persons assembled, I am sorry to say it, were several of them glut­tons; and encouraged and countenanced each other in the vice to which they were addicted.

Dish succeeded to dish: and one plate­ful was but devoured that another and another might be gorged.

Fatal insensibility to the warning voice of experience! Incomprehensible blind­ness!

The poor bishop was unable to resist his destiny.

I had a foreboding of the mischief that might result from a stomach at once so debilitated and so overloaded. I wished to have spoken: I was tempted to ex­claim—"Rash man, beware!" I could not keep my eyes away from him: till at length I suddenly remarked a strange ap­pearance, that came over his face; and, [Page 162] almost at the same instant, he dropped from his chair in an apoplectic fit.

The description of his foaming mouth, distorted features, dead eyes, the whites of which only were to be seen, his writh­ings, his—

No! I must forbear. The picture I witnessed could give nothing but pain; mingled with disgust, and horror. If I suggest that poor oppressed nature made the most violent struggles, to emp­ty and relieve herself, there will perhaps be more than sufficient of the scene of which I was a spectator conjured up in the imagination.

The bishop had been a muscular man, with a frame of uncommon strength; and the paroxysm, though extreme, did not end in death. Medical assistance was obtained, and he was borne away as soon as the crisis was over: but the festi­vity for which the company had met was disturbed. Many of them were struck [Page 163] with terror; dreading left they had only been present at horrors that, soon or late, were to light upon themselves. They departed appalled by the scene they had witnessed, and haunted by images of a foreboding, black, and distracted kind.

From these Sir Barnard himself was not wholly free: though he had been less guilty of gormandizing than many of his associates: and, for my own part, this incident left an impression upon me which I am persuaded will be salutary through life.

CHAP. X.

HOW different is the same man, at dif­ferent periods of his existence! How [Page 164] very unlike were the bowing well bred Earl of Idford, and the asthmatic tutor, of this day, to the Lord Sad-dog and his Jack; whom, but a few years before, I first met at college!

The president too at that time was, quite as much in form as in office, one of the pillars of the university. And the bishop! What a lamentable change had a short period produced!

Happy would it be for men did they recollect that change they must; and that, if they will but be sufficiently atten­tive to circumstances, they may change for the better.

Time kept rolling on; and I had va­riety of occupation. Neither my studies, my fashionable acquaintances, nor those whom I justly loved as my friends, were neglected. Mr. Evelyn continued for some time in town; attending to his ana­tomical and chymical studies. Wilmot had completed his comedy. It had been [Page 165] favourably received by the manager; and was to be the second new piece brought forward. Turl, with equal perseverance, was pursuing his own plans: and, though I heard nothing more from Olivia, my heart was at ease. I knew the motives on which she acted; and had her assur­ance that, if I should be again defamed, I should now be heard in my own de­fence.

I was careful not to forget honest Clarke; nor was the kind-hearted Mary neglected. The good carpenter had sent for his wife and family up to town; and Mary was happy in the friendly attentions of Miss Wilmot, and in the orderly con­duct and quick improvement of her son.

One of my pleasures, and duties as I conceived it to be, was to introduce Turl and Wilmot to such of my higher order of acquaintance as might afford both parties gratification. There is much fri­volity among people of rank and fashion: [Page 166] but there is likewise some enquiry and sound understanding; and, where these qualities exist in any eminent degree, the friends I have named could not but be welcome.

It is the interest of men of [...] orders to converse with each other, to listen to their mutual pretensions with patience, to be slow to condemn, and to be liberal in the construction of what they at first suppose to be dangerous novelty.

Turl was peculiarly fitted to promote these principles: and Wilmot, in addi­tion to the charms of an imagination finely stored, was possessed, as the reader may remember, of musical talents; and those of no inferior order. Days and weeks passed not unpleasantly away: for hope and Olivia were ever present to my imagination, and of the ills which for­tune had in reserve I was little aware.

While business and pleasure thus ap­peared to promote each other, it came to [Page 167] my knowledge that an advertisement had appeared in the papers: stating that, if Hugh Trevor, the grandson of the reve­rend **** rector of ***, were alive, by application at a place there named, he might hear of something very much to his advantage.

I cannot enumerate the conjectures that this intelligence immediately ex­cited; for they were endless. I searched the papers, found the advertisement, and hastened to the place to which it directed me.

The information I there received was not precisely what my elevated hopes had taught me to expect: but it was of con­siderable moment. I learned that my grandfather's executor, Mr. Thornby, was dead; that his nephew, Wakefield, had taken possession of the property he had left; but that he had done this ille­gally: for the person who caused the ad­vertisement to be put into the paper was [Page 168] an attorney, who had drawn and witnessed the will of Thornby, which will was in my favour; and which moreover stated that the property bequeathed to me was mine in right of a will of my grandfa­ther's; which will Thornby had till that time kept concealed. Whether the tes­tament he had produced, immediately after the death of the rector, were one that Thornby had forged, or one that my grandfather had actually made but had ordered his executor to destroy, did not at present appear. The account I gave of it in a preceding volume, and of the manner in which it was procured, was the substance of what I learned from the conversation of my mother and Thornby at the time.

A death-bed compunction had wrested from the deceased an avowal of his guilt; and the facts were explicitly stated, in the preamble of his will, in order to prevent the contest which he foresaw might pro­bably [Page 169] take place, between me and his nephew. He seemed to have been pain­fully anxious to do justice at last; and save his soul, when he found it must take flight.

The business was urgent; and, if I meant to profit by that which was legally mine, it was necessary, as I was advised, immediately to go down and examine in­to all the circumstances on the spot.

I was the more surprised at what I had heard because it was but very lately that I had sent a remittance to my mother; which she had acknowledged, and which must have been received after her hus­band had taken possession of his uncle's effects. But, when I recollected the cha­racter that had been given me of Wake­field, as far as the transaction related to him, my surprise was of short duration.

With respect to my mother, I heard with no small degree of astonishment that she had been applied to, in order to dis­cover [Page 170] where I might be found; and that she had returned evasive answers: which as it was supposed had been dictated by her husband; under whose control, part­ly from fear and partly from an old wo­man's doating, she was completely held.

To say that I grieved at such weak­ness, in one whom I had so earnestly de­sired to love and honor with more than filial affection, would be superfluous: but my surprise would have instantly ceased, had I known who this Wakefield was; with whom my mother had to contend.

Reproach from me however, in word or look, had I been so inclined, she was destined never to receive. The career of pain and pleasure with her was nearly over. On the same day that I made the enquiries I have been repeating, a letter arrived; written not by her, but at her request; which informed me that, if I meant to see her alive, I must use all pos­sible speed: for that she had been sud­denly [Page 171] seized with dangerous and intole­rable pains; which according to the de­scription given in the letter, were such as I found from enquiry belong to the iliac passion; and that she was then lying at the last extremity.

Two such imperious mandates, requir­ing, my presence in my native county, were not to be disobeyed; and I depart­ed with the utmost diligence. At the last stage, after a journey of unremitted ex­pedition, I ordered the chaise to drive to the house of the late Thornby; where on enquiry I was informed that my mother lay.

I found her in a truly pitiable condi­tion. Quicksilver had been administered, but in vain; and she was so thoroughly exhausted that the sight of me produced but very little emotion. Her medical at­tendant pronounced she could not sur­vive four-and-twenty hours; and advised that, if there were any business to be set­tled [Page 172] between us, it should be proceeded upon immediately.

Had this advice been given to persons of certain habits, assuredly, it would not have been neglected; and, perhaps it ought not to have been by me: but, whether I was right or wrong, I could not endure to perplex and disturb the mind of a mo­ther in her last agonies. The conse­quence was, she expired without hearing a word from me, concerning her hus­band, Thornby, or the property to which I was heir; and without making any mention whatever herself of the disposal of this property.

I was indeed ignorant of what degree of information she could afford me. Her conduct had been so weak that to re­mind her of it, at such a moment, would, as I supposed, have been to inflict a se­vere degree of torment.

This, as the reader will learn in time, was not the only shaft by which my tran­quillity [Page 173] was to be assaulted. My mother though she was, there was yet another death infinitely more heart-rending hang­ing over my head. The recollection is anguish that cannot end! Cannot did I say? Absurd mortal. Live for the living; and grieve not for the dead: unless grief could bid them rise from their graves.

I must proceed; and not suffer my feelings thus to anticipate my tale.

Knowing that Wakefield was no other than Belmont, the reader will not be surprised that he should think proper to elude, under these circumstances, the discovery which a meeting must have produced. My mother, actuated by a conviction that death was inevitable, had sent for me without his privity: so that I afterward learned he was in the house, when I drove up to the door: and, seeing me put my head out of the chaise, im­mediately made his escape through the garden.

[Page 174]A man less fertile in expedients would have found it difficult to forge a plausible pretext, to evade being present and meet­ing me at the funeral: but he, by pur­suing what wore the face of being, and what I believe actually was, very rational conduct, dexterously shunned the ren­contre. The following letter, which he wrote to me, will explain by what means.

[Page 176]Had such a letter been written by a man who had pretended fondness for his wife, it might perhaps have been con­strued unfeeling: if not insulting to her memory. But, as the case was notori­ously the reverse, the honest contempt of all affectation, which it displayed, I could not but consider as an unexpected trait in the character of such a man as I sup­posed Wakefield to be.

There is a strange propensity in the imagination to make up ideal beings; and annex them to names that, when mentioned, have been usually followed with certain degrees of praise, or blame. These fanciful portraits are generally in the extreme: they are all virtue, or all vice: all perfection, or all deformity: though it is well known that no such un­mixed mortals exist.

My mind having acquired the habit rather to doubt than to conclude that every thing which is customary must be [Page 177] right, funeral follies had not escaped my censure: but the thing which excited my surprise was that a man like Wakefield, who I concluded must have thought very little indeed, since he both thought and acted on other occasions so differently from me, should in any instance reason like myself; and some few others, whom I most admired.

Convinced however as I was that he now reasoned rightly, I wanted in this case the courage to act after his example. It would be a scandal to the country for a son, pretending to filial duty, to be ab­sent from his mother's funeral. The reader will doubtless remember that town and country are two exceedingly dis­tinct regions.

CHAP. XI.

THIS scandal I was, notwithstanding my discretion, destined to afford. In addition to the arguments of Wakefield, accident supplied a motive too powerful to be resisted.

I have mentioned my intention to sup­press the pamphlet which I had written, in the fever of my resentment, against the Earl, the Bishop, and their associates. [Page 179] The edition which had been printed for publishing had lain in the printer's ware­house, till the time that I had determined against its appearance.

The child of the fancy is often as dear to us as any of our children whatever; and I was unwilling that this offspring of mine should perish, beyond all power of revival. I therefore had the edition re­moved to my lodgings, and stowed in a garret.

A copy however had been purloined; and probably before the removal. This copy came into the possession of an un­principled bookseller; who, regardless of every consideration except profit, and per­ceiving it to be written with vehemence on a subject which never fails to attract the attention of the public, namely per­sonal defamation, had once more com­mitted it to the press.

As it happened, it was sent to be re­printed by the person with whom the son [Page 180] of Mary was bound apprentice; and the whole was worked off except the title-page, which fell into the hands of the youth.

Desirous of shewing kindness to Mary, it may well be supposed I had not over­looked her son. His mother had taught him to consider me as the saviour of both their lives; and as such he held me in great veneration. These favourable feel­ings were increased by the praise I be­stowed on him, for his good conduct; and the encouragement I gave him to persevere.

Richard, for that was his name, sus­pected it could be no intention of mine to publish the pamphlet: because he had been employed to stow it in the garret: and, as he was an intelligent lad, and ac­quainted with the tricks of the publisher for whom he knew his master was at work, he hastened in great alarm to com­municate his fears; first to his mother, [Page 181] and then by her advice to Miss Wil­mot.

The latter immediately informed her brother. He saw the danger, wrote to me to return without delay, doubting whether even I should have the power to prevent the publication, and proceeded himself immediately to the printer to warn him of the nature of the transaction.

The man was no sooner informed of Mr. Wilmot's business than he became violently enraged with his apprentice, Richard; accused him of betraying his master's interest, and the secrets of the printing-house, which ought to be held sacred, and affirmed that he had endan­gered the loss of his business.

Richard was present, was aware of the charge which would be brought against him, and was prepared to endure it with considerable firmness: though he had been taught to believe that such com­plaints were founded in justice.

[Page 182]Wilmot could obtain no unequivocal answer from the master: either that he would or would not proceed. He con­sequently supposed the affirmative was the most probable; and therefore, that he might neglect nothing in an affair which he considered as so serious, he has­tened from the printer to the publisher.

Here, in addition to the rage of what he likewise called having been betrayed, he met with open defiance, vulgar in­solence, and vociferous assertions, from this worthy bookseller, that the laws of his country would be his shield.

The fellow had been frequently con­cerned in such rascalities, and knew his ground. He was one of the sagacious persons who had found a cover for them. Where law pretends to regulate and de­fine every right, the wrong which it can­not reach it protects.

This is a branch of knowledge on which a vast body of men in the king­dom, [Page 183] and especially in the metropolis, depend for their subsistence. And a very tempting trade it is: for our streets, our public places, and our courts of justice, as well as other courts, swarm with its followers; at which places they appear in as high a style of fashion, that is of effrontery, as even the fools by whom they are aped, or the lawyers and states­men themselves by whom they are de­fended. This I own is a bold assertion; and is perhaps a hyperbole! Yes, yes: it is comparing mole hills to mountains. But let it pass.

Wilmot, in his letter to me, did not confine himself to a bare recital of facts. Fearful left they should escape my re­collection, he urged those strong argu­ments which were best calculated to shew, not only what my enemies might allege, but what just men might im­pute to me, should this intemperate pamphlet appear: which, in addition to [Page 184] its original mistakes, would attack the character of the Bishop, a man whose office, in the eye of the world, implied every virtue. And how immoderately would its intemperance and imputed malignity be exaggerated, should it ap­pear precisely at the moment when I knew disease had deprived him of his faculties! had rendered him unable to defend himself, and to produce facts which I might have concealed; or give another face to truth, which I might have discoloured!

These arguments alarmed me in a very painful degree. I was averse to quit the place before my mother was interred: especially as my reasons for such an ab­rupt departure could not be made public: but I was still more averse to an action which, in appearance, would involve me in such a cowardly species of infamy.

Accordingly, I made the best arrange­ments in my power: leaving orders that [Page 185] the funeral should be conducted with every decency; and, after a very short conversation with the attorney, who had witnessed the will of Thornby and given me the information I have already men­tioned, I travelled back to London with no less speed than I had hurried into the country.

I arrived in town on Thursday night; and the pamphlet was advertised for publication on the following Monday. The advertisement, being purposely writ­ten to excite curiosity, repeated the sub­ject of the pamphlet: which asserted my claims to the letters of Themistocles, and to the defence of the thirty-nine articles; the acrimony of which charge was in­creased by a personal attack on the Earl of Idford, the Bishop, and their asso­ciates.

When I came to my lodgings, I found two notes: one from a person stiling himself a gentleman employed by the [Page 186] Earl; and another from Mr. Ellis, on the part of the Bishop: each requesting an interview. Answers not having been returned, these agents had come them­selves; and, being informed that I was in the country, but was expected in town before the end of the week, they left a pressing message; desiring an answer the moment of my arrival.

Eager as I was to ward off the danger that threatened me, I considered the ap­plication that was made, especially on the part of the Earl, as fortunate. I un­derstood that the only means of sup­pressing the pamphlet would be by an injunction from the Lord Chancellor; and this I imagined the influence of the Earl might essentially promote: for which reason I immediately wrote, in reply to these agents, and appointed an interview early the next morning.

The place of meeting was a private room in a coffee-house; and, though [Page 187] my eagerness in the business brought me there a few minutes before the time named, Ellis and his coadjutor had ar­rived before me. They acted in concert, and had met to compare notes.

I found the purveyor of pews and paradise still the same: always inclined to make himself agreeable.

The other agent was seated in a dark corner of the room, with his back to the light, so that I did not recognise him as I entered. How much was I surprised when, as he turned to the window, I dis­covered him to be the loquacious Mr. Glibly; the man whose principles were so accommodating, whose tongue was glossy, but whose praise was much more sickening and dangerous than his satire.

The civilities that were poured upon me, by these well-paired gentlemen, were overwhelming. It was like taking leave of a Frenchman, under the ancient régime: there was no niche or chink for me to [Page 188] throw in a word; so copious was the vo­lubility of Glibly, and so eager was the zeal of Ellis.

From the picture I before gave of the first, the reader will have perceived that he was a man of considerable intellect: though not of sufficient to make him honest. His usual mode, in conversa­tion, was to render the person to whom he addressed himself ridiculous by ex­cessive praise; and to mingle up sarcasm and panegyric in such a manner as to produce confusion in the mind of the object of it, who never knew when to be angry or when to be pleased, and laugh­ter in every body else.

At first the most witty and acute would find amusement in his florid irony: but they could not but soon be wearied, by its methodical and undeviating mechan­ism; which denoted great barrenness of invention.

In the present instance, he had a case [Page 189] that required management: a patron to oblige, and an opponent to circumvent. He had therefore the art to assume a tone as much divested of sneering as habit would permit; and began by insinuations that were too flattering to fail of their effect, yet not quite gross enough to offend. My person, my appearance, my parliamentary prospects, my understand­ing, my friends and connections, all passed in review: while his praise was carefully tempered; and as I imagined very passably appropriate.

Hence, it certainly promoted the end for which it was given: it opened my heart, and prepared me for that generous effusion which rather inclines to criminate itself than to insist on every trifle that may be urged in its favour.

Apt however as he was at detecting vanity in others, he was as open to it himself, I might almost say, as any man on earth. He began with a profession [Page 190] of his friendship for the Earl of Idford: in which he assumed the tone of having conferred a favour on that noble lord; and I will not deny that he was right. All his acquaintance were friends; and perhaps he had the longest list of any man in London: for the effrontery of his familiar claims upon every man he met, from whom he had any thing to hope or fear, was so extraordinary as to render an escape from him impossible. He had parroted the phraseology of the haut ton, and its arrogant apathy, till the manner was so habitual to him that he was unconscious of his own impudence.

Thus, in conversing on this occasion of the Earl who had deputed him, the only appellation he had for his patron was Idford. "I told Idford what I thought on the subject. For I always speak the truth, and never deceive peo­ple: unless it be to give them pleasure; and then you know they are the more [Page 191] obliged to me. Glibly, said Idford to me, I know you will act in this business without partiality. For I must do him justice, Trevor, and assure you that Idford is a good fellow. I do not pretend that he is not sensible of the privileges which rank and fashion give him. He is vain, thinks himself a great orator, a fine writer, a wise senator, and all that. I grant it. How should it be otherwise? It is very natural. He would have been a devilish sensible fellow, if he had not been a lord. But that is not to be helped. You and I, in his place, should think and act the same. We should be as much deceived, as silly, and as ridicu­lous. It is all right. Things must be so. But Idford is a very good fellow. He is, upon my honor."

The surgeon that has a difficult case will not only make preparations and ad­justments before he begins to probe, la­cerate, or cauterize, but will sometimes [Page 192] administer an opiate; to stupefy that sensibility which he apprehends is too keen. Glibly pursued much the same method; and, having exhausted nearly all his art, till he found he had pro­duced as great a propensity to compli­ance and conciliation as be could reason­ably hope, he proceeded to the business in question.

"You no doubt guess, my dear Tre­vor, why my friend Ellis here and I de­sired to meet you?"

"I do."

"To say the truth, knowing as I do the soundness of your understanding, the quickness of your conception, and the consequences that must follow, which, acute as you are, you could not but fore­see, I was amazed when I read your ad­vertisement!"

"It is prodigiously surprising, indeed!" added Ellis: eager at every opportunity to throw in such touches as he thought [Page 193] would give effect to the colouring of his friend, and leader.

"Why," said I, "do you call it my advertisement?"

"I mean of a pamphlet which it seems has been written by you."

"But is going to be published with­out my consent"

"Are you serious?" said Glibly: staring!

"It is not my custom to deceive peo­ple, Mr. Glibly; not even to give them pleasure."

"I am prodigious glad of that!" ex­claimed the holy Enoch. "Prodigious glad, indeed!"

"But you have owned it was written by you?" continued Glibly.

"I know no good that can result from disowning the truth; and especially in the present instance."

"My dear fellow, truth is a very pretty thing on some occasions: but to be con­tinually [Page 194] telling truth, as you call it, oh Lord! oh Lord! we should set the whole world to cutting of throats!"

"To be sure we should!" cried Ellis.

"To be sure we should! That is my morality exactly."

"Men are men, my dear fellow. A lord is a lord: a bishop is a bishop. Each in his station. Things could not go on if we did not make allowances. To tell truth would be to overturn all order."

"I am willing to make allowances: for all men are liable to be mistaken."

"I approve that sentiment very much, Mr. Trevor," interrupted Enoch. "It is prodigious fine. It is my own. All men are liable to be mistaken. I have said it a thousand times. It is prodigious fine!"

"But I cannot conceive," added I, "that to overturn systems which are founded in vice and folly would be to overturn all order. You may call syste­matic selfishness, systematic hypocrisy, [Page 195] and systematic oppression order: but I assert they are disorder."

"My dear fellow, nothing is so easy as to assert. But we will leave this to another time. I dare say that in the main there is no great difference between us. You wish for all the good things you can get; and so do I. One of us may take a more round about way to ob­tain them than the other: but we both in­tend to travel to the same goal. I own, when I heard of your brouillerie with my friend Idford, I thought you had missed the road. But I find you have more wit than I supposed: you are now guided by another finger-post. Perhaps it might have been as well not to have changed. The treasury bench is a strong hold, and never was so well fortified. It is become impregnable. It includes the whole power of England, Scotland, and Ire­land; both the Indies; countless islands, and boundless continents: with all the [Page 196] grand out-works of lords, spiritual and temporal; governors; generals; admi­rals; custos rotulorum, and magistracy; bodies corporate, and chartered compa­nies; excise, and taxation; board and bankruptcy commissioners; contractors; agents; jobbers; money-lenders, and spies; with all the gradations of these and many more distinct classes: under­strappers innumerable; an endless swarm; a monstrous mass. Can it be conjured away by angry breath? No, no. It is no house of cards: for an individual to attempt to puff it down would be ridicu­lous insanity."

A mass indeed! "Making Ossa like a wart." Yet the rubbish must be re­moved; and it is mine and every man's duty to handle the spade and besom. But men want to work miracles; and, because the mountain does not vanish at a word, they rashly conclude it cannot be di­minished. They are mistaken. Political [Page 197] error is a pestilential cloud; dense with mephitic and deadly vapours: but a wind has arisen in the south, that will drive it over states, kingdoms, and em­pires; till at last it shall be swept from the face of the earth."

"My dear fellow, you have an admi­rable genius: but you have mistaken its bent. Depend upon it, you are no po­litician: though you are a very great poet. Fine phrases, grand metaphors, beautiful images, all very admirable! and you have them at command. You are born to be an ornament to your country. You have a very pretty turn. Very pretty indeed! And so, which is the point that I was coming to, concerning this pam­phlet. It relates I think to certain let­ters that appeared, signed Themisto­cles."

"And to a defence, by my lord the bishop, of the thirty nine articles," added [Page 198] Ellis: "eager that he and his patron should not be omitted."

"You, my dear fellow, had some part in both of these publications."

"I do not know what you mean by some part. The substance of them both was my own."

"Ay, ay; you had a share: a consi­derable share. You and Idford were friends. You conversed together, and communicated your thoughts to each other. Did not you?"

"I grant we did."

"I knew you would grant whatever was true. You are the advocate of truth; and I commend you. Idford mixed with political men, knew the temper of the times, was acquainted with various anecdotes, and gave you every informa­tion in his power. I know you are too candid to conceal or disguise the least fact. You would be as ready to con­demn [Page 199] yourself as another. You have real dignity of mind. It gives you a cer­tain superiority; a kind of grandeur; of real grandeur. It is your principle."

"It ought to be."

"No doubt. And I am sure you will own that I have stated the case fairly. I told you, Mr. Ellis, that I knew my friend Trevor. He has too much inte­grity to disown any thing I have said. I dare believe, were he to read the letters of Themistocles over at this instant, he would find it difficult to affirm, of any one sentence, that the thought might not possibly have been suggested in con­versation by my friend Idford. I say might not possibly: for you both perceive I am very desirous on this occasion to be guarded."

"It certainly is a difficult thing," an­swered I, "for any man positively to af­firm he can trace the origin of any one [Page 200] thought; and recollect the moment when it first entered his mind."

My lips were opening to proceed: but Glibly with great eagerness prevented me.

"I knew, my dear fellow, that your candor was equal to your understand­ing. Mr. Ellis, who hears all that passes, will do me the justice to say that I de­clared before you came what turn the affair would take."

I was again going to speak, but he was determined I should not, and pro­ceeded with his unconquerable volubi­lity; purposely leading my mind to ano­ther train of thought.

"I am very glad indeed that the ad­vertisement which appeared was not with your approbation. On recollection, I cannot conceive how I could for a mo­ment suppose it was your own act. A man of the soundest understanding may [Page 201] be surprised into passion, and may write in a passion: but he will think again and again, and will be careful not to publish in a passion. And the delay which has taken place might have proved to me that you had thought; and had deter­mined not to publish. Your counte­nance, when you disowned the adver­tisement just now, convinces me that I do you no more than justice, by supposing this of you."

Here the artful orator thought proper to pause for a reply; and I answered, "I own that I wrote in a spirit which I do not at present quite approve."

"I know it. What you have said and what you have allowed have so much of liberality, cool recollection, and dispas­sionate honesty, that they are, as I knew they would be, very honorable to you."

"Prodigiously, indeed!" said Enoch.

Glibly continued: "Your behaviour, in this business, entirely confirms my [Page 202] good opinion of you; and I give myself some credit for understanding a man's true character: especially the character of a man like you. My good friend Ellis and I are entirely satisfied. What has passed has removed all doubts, and diffi­culties. We are with you; and shall re­port every thing to your advantage."

"I wish you to report nothing but the truth."

"I know it, my dear fellow. That is what we intend. So, without saying a word more on that subject, we will now consider what is best to be done. I un­derstand that the edition about to be pub­lished is pirated; and I suppose you will join us in an application to the Lord Chancellor for an injunction."

"Most eagerly. That was my reason for wishing to see you, so immediately after my arrival in town; imagining that an application from Lord Idford, and the bishop, would be more readily attended [Page 203]to than if it came from a private and un­known individual."

"To be sure it would, Mr. Trevor!" said Enoch. "An application from an earl and a bishop, is not likely to be overlooked. They are privileged per­sons. They are the higher powers. Every thing that concerns them must be treat­ed with tenderness, and reverence, and humbleness, and every thing of that kind."

The spirit moved me to begin an en­quiry into privileges; and the tenderness and humility due to earls and bishops: particularly to such as the noble and re­verend lords in question: but Glibly guessed my thoughts, and took care to prevent me!

"As to those subjects, my dear Ellis," said he, "Trevor thinks and acts on a different system from you and me and the rest of the world. We must not dis­pute these points, now; but away, as fast [Page 204] as we can, and put the business for which we met in a train. The publication must be stopped. It would injure all parties; and, as you, my dear friend [Turning to me] justly think at present, would be disgraceful to its author."

After what had been urged by Turl and Wilmot, and the reasoning that had followed in my own mind, I knew not how to deny this assertion: though it was painfully grating. But the reader will easily perceive that this and other strong affirmations, such as I have related, were designedly made by Glibly. He art­fully gabbled on, that he might lead my mind from attending to them too strictly; and that he might afterward, if occasion should require, state them, with the co­louring that he should give, as things ut­tered or allowed by me."

It ought not to be thought strange that I was deceived by Glibly, barefaced as his cunning would have appeared to a man [Page 205] more versed in the arts which over­reaching selfishness daily puts in practice. He confessedly came in behalf of a party concerned; and, as such, a liberal mind would be prepared to expect a bias from him rather in favour of his client. His face was smiling; his tones were soft and smooth; the words candor, honesty, and integrity, were continually on his tongue. He affected to be a disinterested arbi­trator; and allowed that his friend Idford, as he called him, might or rather must be tainted with the vices of his station, and class. Could a youth, unhacknied in the world, feeling that treachery was not native to the heart of man, not suspect­ing on ordinary occasions that it could exist, could such a tyro in hypocrisy be a fit antagonist for such an adept?

Deceit will frequently escape imme­diate detection: but it seldom leaves the person, upon whom it is practised, with that clearness of thought which commu­nicates calm to the mind; producing [Page 206] unruffled satisfaction, and cheerful good temper.

CHAP. XII.

WE quitted the coffee-house; Glibly in high spirits, and Enoch concluding things had been done as they should be: but, for my own part, I experienced a confusion of intellect that did not suffer me to be so much at my ease. I had an indistinct sense of being as passive as a blind man with his dog. Instead of tak­ing the lead, as I was entitled to have done, I was led: hurried away, like a man down a mountain with a high wind at his back: or traversing dark alleys, holding by the coat-flap of a guide of [Page 207]whose good intentions I was very far from having any certainty.

We proceeded however to the house of a solicitor in chancery; who transacted business for the Earl.

Here Glibly, attentive to the plan he had pursued, began by informing Mr. Quisque, the lawyer, that he had come at the request of his dear friend, Trevor, to entreat his aid in an affair of some moment. "Mr. Trevor is a young gen­tleman, my dear Quisque, that you will be proud to be acquainted with; a man of talents; a poet; an orator; an author; a great genius; an excellent scholar; a fine writer; turns a sentence or a rhyme with exquisite neatness; very prettily I assure you. I mention these circum­stances, my dear Quisque, because I know you have a taste for such things: and so has Mrs. Quisque, and the two Miss Quisques, and all the family. I now and then see very pretty things of their writing in the Lady's Magazine. An [Page 208] elegy on a robin red-breast. The droop­ing violet, a sonnet. And others equally ecstatic. Quite charming! rapturous! elegant! flowery! sentimental! Some of them very smart, and epigrammatic. It is a family, my dear Trevor, that you must become intimate with. Your merit entitles you to the distinction. You will communicate your mutual productions. You will polish and suggest charming little delicate emendations, to each other, before you favour the world with a sight of them."

The broadest and coarsest satire was never half so insulting, to the feelings, as the common-place praise of Glibly.

The barren-pated Ellis caught one of the favourite diminutives of Glibly; and finished my panegyric by adding that, "he must say, his friend, Mr. Trevor, was a prodigious pretty genius."

Who but must have been proud of such an introduction to the family of the Quisques; by such orators, such eulogists, and such friends?

[Page 209]Acquainted with Glibly, and accus­tomed to hear him prate, Mr. Quisque seemed to listen to him without surprise, pleasure, or pain. It was what he ex­pected. It was the man. A machine that had no more meaning than a Dutch clock; repeating cuckoo, as it strikes.

Among Glibly's acquaintance, or, as he called them, his dear friends, this was a common but a very false conclusion. He had not adopted his customary cant with­out a motive. The man, who can per­suade others that he gabbles in a pleasant but ridiculous and undesigning manner, will lead them to suppose that his actions are equally incongruous, and void of in­tention. He will pass upon the world for an agreeable harmless fellow, till his malignities are too numerous to escape notice; and then, where he was before welcomed with the hope of a laugh, he will continue to be admitted from the dread of a bite.

[Page 210]A lawyer however feels less of this panic than the rest of mankind: because he can bite again. The cat o' mountain will not attack the tiger.

Glibly returned to the business in hand; and again repeated that he was come at the request of his dear friend, Trevor, to procure an injunction: that should prevent the publication of a pam­phlet, which had been written against his friend, Idford."

"And my lord the Bishop * * * *," added Enoch.

"Who is the author of it?" de­manded Quisque.

"I am, sir;" answered I.

"For which my friend Trevor is very sorry;" added Glibly.

I instantly retorted a denial. "I never said any thing of the kind, Mr. Glibly. But I should be very sorry in­deed if it were published."

"Nay, my dear fellow, according to your own principles, if I do not mistake [Page 211] them, that which ought not to be pub­lished ought not to be written."

The remark was acute: it puzzled me, and I was silent. He proceeded.

"It is a business that admits of no delay. I should be extremely chagrined, extremely, upon my honor, that my dear friend Trevor should commit himself to the public, in this affair. He that wan­tonly attacks the characters of others does but strike at his own."

I again eagerly replied "The attack from me, sir, was not wanton. It was provoked acts of the most flagrant injustice."

Glibly as eagerly interrupted me.

"My dear fellow, why, are you so warm? I was only delivering a general maxim. I made no application of it; and I am surprised that you should."

The traps of Glibly were numberless; and not to be escaped. Words are too equivocal, and phrases too indefinite, for men like him not to profit by their am­biguity. To them a quirk in the sense is [Page 212] as profitable as a pun or a quibble in the sound. They snap at them, as dogs do at flies. It is no less worthy of observation that, though some of his actions seemed to laugh severity of moral principle out of countenance, he continually repeated others which, had his conduct been regu­lated by them, would have ranked him among the most worthy of mankind.

After farther explanation from Quisque, it was admitted that the interest of all parties made it necessary for him to act with great diligence, speed, and caution.

Through the whole of this scene, Glibly was consistent with himself; in giving it such a turn and complexion as to make it requisite, for the preservation of my cha­racter above the rest, to prevent the pam­phlet from being published. If, when­ever I detected his drift, I urged the true motives by which I was actuated, he al­ways immediately admitted them, praised them, and allowed them to be superla­tively excellent: but never failed to give [Page 213] them such an air as should suit the project he had conceived; and allow of such an interpretation, in future, as would excul­pate my opponents and criminate myself. But he effected this with such fluency, and so glossed over and coloured his in­tention that, like profound darkness, it was every where present, but neither could be felt nor seen.

My own activity in this affair, which if I meant to render my interference effec­tual was inevitable, contributed to the same end. I accompanied the whole party, Quisque being one, to the shop of the publisher.

Here I detailed the consequences, as well to myself as to the Earl and the Bishop; and vehemently denounced threats, if the villany that was begun should be carried into execution. Not all the quieting hints of my assistants could keep my anger under. I lost all patience, at every word. My utmost indignation was excited by so black a business.

[Page 214]The situation was not a new one to the dealer in the alphabet. He was an old depredator; and had before encountered angry authors, and artful lawyers. He was cool, collected, and unabashed. Not indeed entirely: but sufficiently so to ex­cite astonishment.

He affirmed the copy-right to be his own: would prove he had obtained it legally; and would face any prosecution that we could bring. He knew what he was about; and was not be frightened. He had printed one edition; and had no doubt that several would be sold. He was an honest tradesman; and must not be robbed of his profits. What would the country be if it were not for trade? It ought to be protected: ay and would be too. The law was as open to an industri­ous fair trader as to any lord in the land. Let him too be no loser and then it would be a different thing: but, as for big words, they broke no bones; and he knew his ground.

[Page 215]The hints of the honest trader were too broad to be misunderstood; and Quisque replied—"I think you mean, sir, that you wish to be repaid the expence you have sustained?"

The fellow answered, with the utmost effrontery, "I have a right, sir, to be in­demnified for the loss of my profits on the sale of the work."

Anger and argument were equally vain. There were two ways of proceeding. Si­lence and safety might be purchased: or the law might be let loose on a knave, who set it at defiance. The one was se­cure: the other problematical; and replete with the danger which we wished to avert.

Quisque asked him what was the sum that he demanded? His reply was more moderate than from appearances we had reason to expect: it was one hundred pounds.

Glibly desired he would permit us to consult five minutes among ourselves. He withdrew; and the fluent agent re­marked [Page 214] [...] [Page 215] [...] [Page 216] the sum was a trifle: but, trifling as it was, he had no doubt but feelings of delicacy and honor would dictate that it ought to be jointly paid, by the three parties principally concerned.

He had urged a motive which I knew not how to resist, and I gave my assent. By this manoeuvre he gained the point which he intended. He implicated me, as paying to suppress a pamphlet which, according to his interpretation, I at pre­sent allowed to be defamatory, and unjust.

The money however was paid, and the copies of the pamphlet were delivered: and, being determined if possible to avoid such another accident, those that I had caused to be printed were dislodged from their garret; both editions, a single copy of each excepted, were taken into the fields by night, and burned; and thus expired a production which had aided to drain my pocket, waste my time, and inflame my passions.