Iohn and Ioan: OR, A mad couple well met.
To the tune of the Paratour.
YOu nine Castalian Sisters
that kéep Parnassus hill,
Come down to me,
and let me bée
inspired with your skill,
That well I may demonstrate,
a piece of houshold stuffe,
you that are wed
mark what is sedd,
Beware of taking snuffe.
A mad phantastick couple,
a yong man and a Lasse,
with their content
and friends consent
resolu'd their times to passe
As man and wife together,
and so they marry'd were,
of this mad match
I made this Catch,
which you that please may hear.
They both had imperfections,
which might haue caused strife
the man would sweare,
and dominéere,
so also would his wife.
If Iohn went to one Alehouse,
Ioan ran vnto the next,
betwixt them both
they made an oath,
That neither would be next.
What euer did the good man
his wife would doe the like,
if he was pleas'd
she was appeas'd,
if he would kick, shée'd strike.
If queane or slut he cal'd her,
shée call'd him rogue and knaue,
if he would fight,
shée'd scratch and bite,
He could no victory haue.
If Iohn his dog had beaten,
then Ioan would beat her cat,
If Iohn in scorne
his band would burn,
Ioan would haue burnt her hat.
If Iohn would breake a Pipkin,
then Ioan would break a pot,
thus he and she
did both agrée
To waste all that they got.
If Iohn would eate no victuals,
then Ioan would be as crosse,
they would not eat
but sau'd their meat,
In that there was no losse.
If Iohn were bent to feasting.
then Ioan was of his mind,
in right or wrong
both sung one song,
As Fortune them assignd.
The second part
To the same tune.
IN Tauerne or in Alehouse,
if Iohn and Ioan did méet,
who ere was by
in company,
might tast their humors swéet:
What euer Iohn had cal'd for,
Ioan would not be out-dar'd,
those that lack'd drink
through want of chink
For them the better far'd.
Thus would they both sit drinking,
as long as coine did last,
nay more then this,
ere they would misse
good liquor for their taste,
Io
[...]n would haue damm'd his doublet,
his cloak or any thing,
and Ioan would pawne
her coife of Lawne,
Her bodkin or her ring.
If Iohn were drunk, and reeled,
then Ioan would fall i'th fire,
if Iohn fell downe
i'th midst o'th towne,
bee wraid in dirt and mire,
Ioan like a kind co-partner,
scorn'd to stand on her féet,
but down shée'd fall
before them all,
And role about the stréet.
If Iohn had cal'd his Host knaue,
Ioan cal'd her Hostis whore,
for such like crimes
they oftentimes
were both thrust out of dore.
If Iohn abus'd the Constable,
Ioan would haue beat the Watch
thus man and wife,
in peace or strife,
Each other sought to match.
But mark now how it chanced.
after a yeare or more,
this couple mad
all wasted had,
and were grown very poore,
Iohn could no more get liquor,
nor Ioan could purchase drink,
then both the man
and wife began
Vpon their states to thinke.
Thus beat with their own wepons,
Iohn thus to Ioan did say,
Swéet heart I sée
we two agrée
the cleane contrary way,
Henceforth let's doe in goodnesse.
as we haue done in ill,
Ile doe my best,
doe thou the rest:
A match quoth Ioan, I will.
So leauing those mad humors
which them before possest,
both man and wife
doe lead a life
in plenty, peace, and rest:
Now Iohn and Ioan both iointly,
doe set hands to the Plough.
Let all doe so
in weale or woe,
And they'l do well enough.
M.P.
Finis.
Printed at London for Tho: Lambert.