MAster Church (for I can give you no lesse stile) although I have ever hated to dip my pen in filth, and mud: for the Proverb sayes, that whosoever wrastles with a sir Reve­rence, that whether he give or take the fall, he shall be sure to foule his fingers; but the generall, many and mighty wrongs done by you Mr. Church, and your associates, whom you have seduced against the government of the Watermen, established by Acts of Parliament these 86 yeares: and Orders also made, approved and confirmed by the Rulers and Assistants of the Watermen, by the Lord Mayor of London, and Court of Aldermen, and by the Lords of the Right Honourable privie Councell, to five great Kings and Queenes (vide­licet) to King Philip, Queen Mary, Queen Elizabeth, King Iames, and K. Charles, all these Lawes & Orders have been long withstood and opposed by you, and others whom you have mis-led, as shall be plainly proved by that which followeth. But first I will describe your person (and part of your invisible good qualities) and then I will proceed to your manner of Resormation.

First, it is well [...]nown, that you have over lied a constant course of life, you have from your beginning shewed your selfe your mo­thers son; and as you have her Baboon Monkeyfied visage, so shee lest you a large portion of cursings imprecations, and some wicked oathes (of which rare parts she was well stored) and you have im­proved them so well, that you did dare to lend an oath against mee at a triall ten yeares past in Guild-hall; and had I not beene intrea­ted by the Lord Mayor, I had gone neere to have made a match be­twixt the pillory and your eares; and though your malice prevat­ion not then (for the cause went on my side) yet your spite is of that [Page]lasting metall, that it hath first and last continued these 18. yeares. But a word or two more of your mother is not unsutable.

It is further known, that in her widowhood you were bound Apprentice to her, and for the true deserving of your freedome, you oftentimes spent what you got, allowing her little or nothing, you most commonly mista­king the way, gave your gettings to the Ale-house instead of your mother; by which service of yours, shee was beggerd, and glad to take the Almes of the Watermens Hall towards her reliefe: your lodging was the most fit­ting for you in those dayes; for it was many times in the cold Winter at Summers Key in a dung hoat, where you battned in the warme dung; and from the dung you had the name of Vermin, which name you have to this day. For your Summers recreation your lodging was under a Crane at the Custome-house; and in these kinde of courses you came to be a Water­man.

After your freedome, your mother hath many times asked you blessing upon her knees, most pittifully begging two tokens of you; which you uncharitably denying, she (well knowing you) would call you damnd Rogue, and give you her blessing the cleane contrary way.

After this your hebaviour was so meritorious, that upon complaints and proofes to our Hall my selfe with my brethren being Masters of the Com­pany) have divers times by fines and imprisonments justly punished you both in body and purse, although your demerits have deserved a curtesie often times more to be inflicted upon you. For these doings of mine, and other of our Rulers, Mr. Church hath been angry these eighteen yeares, and (to keep your anger still in motion) the Covernours or Rulers have rub'd up your memory, either with a reproofe, a fine, or a iayle, which you have deserved as due wages for your good conditions: And for these things you beare us bitter malice. It was once my fortune to see a Dogge han­ged that had one quality very like a foolish tricke which you have, which was, that if a man had cast or hurld a stone at him, the Curre wound runne and bite the said stone, and not meddle at all with the party that threw it: So you (Mr. Vermin) when you have been a litle toucht for your Rogury, and for your deboshed abuses, then you snarle, snap, bite and back-bite us that are the doers of iustice; but you never remember that your base misdemeanour which was the cause that cast these grievances upon you.

In revenge of these parts of Iustice you have (for many yeares) practi­sed to overthrow all order, rule and government, you did eleven yeares past, raise many hundreds of Watermen in a combination for that wicked intent; yet all your knavery was covered with a cloake of Reformation: there you taxed me and all my brethren, with bribery, corruption, and ma­ny vile abuses, which the Lord Mayor then (being Sir Robert Duty) with the Court of Aldermen, did put to the examination of a Committee; which Committee did make report to the said Court, that wee the Rulers [Page]were cleare of those scandals, and that all your prating was but lies and sla [...] ­ders; by which meanes we were free from your malice, till within these two yeare. In which time you have bestird your selfe as if the Divell were in you, having made a strong combination with many thousands of water­men, perswading them not to obey the Rulers, nor to come to their Hall upon their being warned thither for any wrongs which they shall com­mit: You have boasted that it was now Parliament time, and therefore you may doe what you list; and when the Master of his Majesties Barge told you, that if we did him or any other Water-man injury, that upon com­plaint made of it to the Lord Moior and proofes made of it, that then the Lord Maior had power to right him or them, and severely to punish us To which you answered, that the Lord Maior was your slave, and that you would have the government shortly out of his hands. You at (another time) pointed with your finger to our Hal, and called it a Rookes Nest, and that you had one hand in the Nest alreadie, and that shortlie you would pluck all the Rookes out: And we have since that time been three severall times assaulted in our Hall, so that we have at everie of those times been forced to call the Constables to defend us from violence, and the Constables will certifie that we have been abused.

You Mr. (Church) came latelie into our Hall, and in a pilfring manner you tooke close up out of an out of an outward Roome, a Table of Orders that hanged there, by the Lord Maiors command, that water-men might read and heare how they should be governed: for the which fact I had you with a warrant before a Iustice, who would not bind you over to the Assi­zes, because you Bauld and lied to him, that our grievnnces were to bee heard by a Committee in Parliament, within fourteen daies after. I am sure you lied then: for it was much about Alholowtide and we have no hea­ring yet, I would to God we had.

You and your Consorts have vowed to have me hanged, and Goodale swore hee would have my heart in his hand, and shake it, and one Matthew Bur­ton, because he could not hang me, he went and hang'd himselfe upon a Sun­day morning, being the first of August last; but by chance his wise and o­thers came timelie and cut him downe; that being the first Sunday that hee made Holi-day: for he did formerlie use to worke on all other Sabbaths. Another that served but 4 years Apprentiship in all, for before 7. yeares were expired, he had two wives, he for preferment (hoping to bee Mastor of the Queenes Barge) turnd Recusant, and failing of his hopes, remaines an ordinary waterman; and he said lately, that there would be Roman Catho­lickes enough left as might drink a health to all our confusions; or else that there would be Irish enough to cut all our throats. These (and some o­ther like these) are your Associates to reforme abuses; but you being their Leader, doe verifie the old Proverb, that it is a sweet Procession where the Divell carries the Crosse. You framed fiftie Articles against us in Parlia­ment, [Page]which upon hearing, I doubt not but will gaine you your reward, for alledging so many lies against us in so honourable an Assembly.

By your doings and Rebellious courses you have made the Thames a wildernesse: for there is neither command nor obedience; but you have done reasonable well for your selfe, in collecting moneyes from many hundreds of watermen, promising them wondrous businesses to bee done; and with that moneyes you have well repaired your selfe with gold Bottons and Loops (if the suit be not pawned) but I wish that your Painter that can play the Kinde-Coale solicitor so well, I would have him (or some other) to paint your comely Effigies in that suit, and hang it up for the pi­cture of Ill luck.

You did doe your best the other day to draw mee into as much dan­ger as you deserved, by averring that I spake most wicked abusive words against some Parliament men; I would have you know (Mr. Ver­min) that I was never such a Knave to speake such (or any bad words) to any private friend, where I thought my counsell would bee kept. But I were a Villaine, a Knave and a Foole, if I would have said any thing before you and your Com-Rogues, whom I knew to bee my mortall enemies, and such as would spread my words ten times broader then my meaning.

You have brought the River to that passe, that watermen doe ply how and where they list, that they abuse Fares, and exact upon them, that they fight, brawle, raile, revile, throw stones and Brick-bats, and for all this, there is no punishment: for you have told them that it is Par­liament time.

For these sweet behaviours of yours you deserve to bee Knighted with a woodden Dagger, to bee made Knight of the Post (or whipped at a Post) and I doubt nor but all the watermen whom you have mis-led, and taken their moneyes, will shortly day, that they have (by your perswasi­on) had a bad opinion of mee and the rest of my brethren, and assure your selfe, I feare you not, nor doe I hate any of you all; and whosoever hee be that either feares or hates you, must needs be guilty of some foule thing, which you charge him with. Wee have all too many faults, and he that de­sires not amendment, let the Divell have him: if you or any man can Iustly taxe me, beshrew you, if you spare me: therefore Jadvise you, Mr. Church, not to dispaire because you have fold your Two VVise Acres of Thistle­ground, for when all trades faile, you may serve for a witnesse for any mans love or money, or else, if I doe grow rich (as it is not impossible) I will entertaine you to be my foole, and all this, Mr. Church, I hope, is no Scan­dalla Magnatum.

I know you are a merry fellow, for you had lately a Piper, a Fuller, you lacked but your Trumpeter at the Blackfriers, good Sack and Tobacco at a Taverne in New-Fish-streete, where you sung Old Rose, or John Dory, and cryed Hey the generallity payes for all.

And now to tell you a few words in sober sadnesse, me thinks you should know that I am not so bad as to be your Companion or to be thus abused by you, I have served seven times at sea in Queen Elizabeths service, I have been a servant in in ordinary to King Iames & King Charles 27 yeers, I have been Ruler of my company 8 severall yeers, I have borne offices, and paid Subsidies, and all duties these 40. yeers, I have written 220. Books, where­in I have pleased both Kings, Princes, Peers and Commons (for I have nei­ther written profanely, or obscenely, nor have I any hand at all in those Roguish Hellish Lies and Lybells that flutters daily about the streets; And therefore (Mr. Church) you that doe hardly pay one halfe penny a week to the poore, and never had any other office but a Box-keeper at the Temple, to the Gamesters in Christmas time; methinks you should have more manners than to abuse me thus without a cause, as you have done; and a little more discretion then to thinke your testimony or witnesse can stand against me; or you in any degree to be my companion.

With all these vertues of yours, you doe now seek and strive to be a Ru­ler or Governour of the Water-mens Company, for you would have 8. ho­nest men to be sworne (I doubt not but you meane your selfe for one; but most (Worthy Sir) you must learne first how to obey, before you will know how to rule, and it is a plaine case, that if 8. such fellows as you were sworne Rulers, we were like to have a mad government: for you have brought the Riuer into that disorder, that whereas the Parliament with ex­ceeding paines and charge, have sate long, whom (with the King, God continue in unity) these Worthies I say, sitting late about the great affaires of the Church and Kingdome, their Coaches that waited on them, have had their Ax [...]ltree pins stolen out by Watermen, on purpose to make the Gentlemen goe by water, or else if they went by Coach, the VVheles might flee off to the endangering of those that were in it; such Villany was never used till you overthrew our Government.

You tax us, that we give no account for all the moneys that wee receive at our Hall, either for Fines, or Quarteridge, or any thing else. Indeed we have been forgetfull to make account to you or your Companions: but when occasion shall serve, we will shew your betters Books of account, of 40 yeers continuance, with our Auditors hands at them, for the troath is, wee neither Receive nor disburse any moneys, but upon oath wee account for it yeerly.

You say that we have 5 or 6 servants apiece, and when that a presse is for men to serue the King at sea, then we doe spare our owne men, and presse [Page]others, and that we doe presse the most Religious and honest men; to which Lye I must answere, that I doe not know any VVatermen, that hath three men and though the company be in Number 4000 at least, yet there are not above 50 of that number, that have Two men apiece, and the most of them are Auntient VVatermen, and past their labour, and some of them not their servants doe never carry any passenger, but worke in Lighters to car­ry Coales and other goods: for mine owne part, I have but one servant, and if a presse doe come, I had Rather he should goe then stay at home, al­though I am sure that I doe never trouble any one of you to carry a [...]re from you.

You likewise scandall me, with the Company, with a presse for men that went into Germany 10 yeers agoe, you slander me with buying and selling of men there, but the troath is, we were not Authors of that presse, nor had we power to denie the warrants which we have to shew, and as for any buying or selling, or any corruption that way, or any other, I Pray you take my word, I doe but laugh at your foolery.

I would wish as many of the generalitie as doe desire to bee more guld then they are, to gather more money, for you are lately fallen most wickedly out of reparations; and now you and some of your leading crew, seeing their cause is bad, they and you doe patch it up with railing and reviling. And so I take leave of you as you are, overwhelmed with igno­rance and malice.

Your mischievous malice was apparantly seen on Thursday last the third of February 1641, For you knew that the Rulers of our Compa­ny were warned that day to appeare before the Lord Mayor and Court of Aldermen (upon your complaint) and you knew further, that I be­ing Clarke of the Company, was to bee the onely man to speake and shew writings in our defence against your slanders.

Then (Mr. Church) with a tricke that you had, you went or sent for a Deputy to a Serjeant at Armes, to attach me and bring mee before an Honourable Committee of the House of Commons. This you did on purpose to take me off suddenly, because our Company should bee un­provided to oppose your lies and slanders: But all your knavery would not serve; for I had that favour to stay and doe my service, and afterwards I went before the Committe, whom I found to bee Gentlemen of such wisedome and gravity, that I conceive that but little credit was given to your testimony: for if any bad speeches had proceeded from mee, you ought not to have concealed such things three weekes and more.

But you (in a triumphing manner) made haste towards the Thames, and told some Water-men, that you had layd mee fast, and that I was in layie, and to be hanged the next Munday, and that I was at twenty shillings charge every day to a Messenger.

All this, and a great deale more, you have done to uphold your c [...] with such men as have been deceived by your trolling tongue; but I [...] that shortly you shall be knowne what you are: For there is not any thing that I have said or done in my life, to make me feare you or any others by your perswasions.