NAture the Vicegerent of God, seems now to be grown old, and in such a decrepit dotage, that she is disinabled to bring forth things so accurate and perfect as she was wont, when she was young and lusty, and her veines fill'd with prolifique Spirit, not yet dispenc'd to the generition of so many Millions of severall things. The Sunne it selfe is observed by moderne Men, to have sunke two degrees neerer to the Earth, then it was in Ptolomies time▪ and if that glorious body of the Sunne be not exempted from diminutions by time, we may well suspect that the whole Frame and Systeme of Nature, is hamstringd and lame, and that shee her selfe goes now upon her crutches. The fire, which once (as the Ancient Aegyptians and Greeks tell us) brought forth many Creatures, as the Salamander, the Pyrausta, and others, is now grown quite fruitlesse and barren. The Ayre doth not now bestow a cherishing and vitall incubation upon the Earth and Water, as sometimes it did; and to say all in a Word, in comparison of former influence and foecundity, the Heaven is become Brasse, and the Earth Iron. Neither is this decay and dampe of Nature obserueable in the Systeme of the greater World alone, but more eminently in the Microcosme or lesser World of Man, which is a little transcript of the great Universe. Do but summe up the age of Man now adaies, then observe his petit diminutive Stature, and you will presently say, That Man is but the Creature of a Day, that he is become a Pigmey now, and that Nature hath spent all her sove­raign Balme which sometimes maintain'd him in a kind of perfect, la­sting, and setled beauty. Since, such an insufficiency of Nature in the [...]eeming of all her Births, and especially of Man, is manifest▪ I thought it not unworthy of a Phylosopher to inquire the Reasons, why Nature in this age of the World failes so much in the Generation of Man, and [...]o to discover some Artificiall Rules to help and relieve her failings in the bodies of Men, & to make Posterity beholding to m [...] for their better Faces. But I confesse in all my observations of the Phisnomies of Men, I [Page] have not found such strange, exotick, forrain, ridiculous deformities, and non-conformities of parts in the Faces and Limbs of any kinde of Men, as in those which at this day are familiarly called the Sectaries and Se­peratists, and therefore I direct this discourse of Face-mending to those invisible Christians of Knock-verjuce-lane, and other obscure places. They above all others seem'd to me to have the fairest plea, title, and claime to such a discourse. First, because the mistakes of Nature are not so praeposterous, ridiculous, and enormous in the Faces of any kind or order of Men as in theirs and their Childrens. Secondly, because some of the best Rules of Facemending here proposed, doe worke pri­marily by the strength and force of Imagination, in which kind of Ima­gination, they are known to have a greater share, then of Reason, and a cleare intellectuall minde. Now least any Man should thinke I of­fer at a thing impossible, when I promise Rules to get Children with handsome Faces; First I will shew you that some Christian Philoso­phers upon their honour have affirm'd, that it is possible by Rules of Art reduc'd to practise, not only to mend, but to raise even out of Dust the bodies of many vegetables, and sensitive Creatures, which bids higher for the improvement of Nature, then my discourse of Rules. Secondly, I will lay the Basis and foundation of my Rules in the Scripture it selfe, that the Brownist (if he be true to his own positions) may not suspect me for a humane Traditioner; but apply himselfe forthwith to beget good Faces by the Text.

It is reported of Rhasis the Arabian, and Albertus Magnus (and them­selves in their writings intimate the same) that they did generate and pro­duce by Art, Homunculos quosdam, certain little men in stature puppet­like, but with all the Organs of a perfect man, born by the ordinary course of Nature. Paracelsus, of whom the judicious Erasmus of Roterdam, saies, [...]ulta invenit divinitus, he found out many things by Divine inspirati­on, con [...]esseth boldly, that he receiv'd that secret of producing little men by Art from God himselfe, and sets down the way of proceeding artifici­ally to that purpose, in his first Book of the Nature of things.

The bold experiments of these Philosophers excuse me for daring on­ly but so high as to prescribe Rules to beget good and Orthodox Faces, especially since my way of proceeding, takes it rise from Scripture, and common experience of observing men. And now I fall upon that part of naturall and most lawfull Magick, by which the Generation of Man may be perfected and enobled.

1 Rule. It is known to all sober and discreet men; That all sensitive [Page] Creatures (and such are Men especially when they close with Women) do Impresse into the thing begot that very affection which prevailes and presides in them in or about the time of Generation. And this is confir­med by the practise of the Patriarch Ja [...]ob, Gen. 30. 37. And Jacob tooke him Rods of green Poplar, and of the [...]asell and Ches [...]ut-trce, and pilled white strakes in them, and made the White appeare which was in the Rods. And he set the Rods which he had pil'd before the Flo [...]ks in the Gutters in the wa­tring-troughes when the Flocks came to drink, that they should conceive when they [...]ame to drink; And the Flo [...]ks conceiv'd before the Rods, and brought forth Cattel ri [...]gstraked, speckled and spotted, &c. The whole Story proves not only the lawfulnesse of this kind of Naturall Magick to better the Generation of Beasts, much more of Men, but the use and certain effect of Impressions taken from externall objects. In Mesopotamia and Syria, where this Patriarch was Shepheard, the heat of the weather is exces­sive, the Waters but [...]ew, and those for the most part in little purles; therefore when the Flocks came to the water wherein the Rod [...] were laid and look'd upon them in the Water, to which they had an e [...]ger appe­tite, they did, as it were, with their eies, draw in and drink the sh [...]pes of those Rods lov'd and desir'd by them, even in that love and desire of the Water, and so generated, conceived, and teem'd t [...]ose speckled births. And no doubt, but an Artifici [...]ll and lawfull Magick not unlike this of the Patriarch may be used with good successe to perfect the generation of Man. Be this then the first Rule, Take heed what affection prevailes in thee, and what Impression thou hast derived and naturaliz'd to thy self from outward objects about that time when thou goest about the Blan­dum Mysterium, as Trismegist speaks, the toying mystery, which makes thee Father of an handsome or ill-favoured Babe. The Tribe of the Brownists though illuminated has bin extreamly ignorant in this principle. And it is no wond [...]r that they and their barnes are of such ridiculous Phisno­mies, since by their profession they abhor all decency and harmonious­nesse, and lye with their Wives in that opinion. Impressions of sloven­nesse, disorder and disproportion must needs affect the Spirits of such as are habitually averse from decencie, order and proportion. If no other ill Impression but this which is almost their very essence; namely, the ab­juring of all Order, affected their spirits, it were enough to make all their brood of shapes as strange and monstrous as those irregular figures and appe [...]rance [...] which sometimes we see in the Clouds, which severall eyes judge to be of severall forme▪ yonder Cloud saies one looks like a Ped­ler with a pack upon his back, no saies another, it is a Cat-a-Mountai [...]e [Page] with the heeles upward. But this is not all; besides, their resolute abju­ring of Order, from variety of other Objects of their like or dislike, va­rieties of strange Impressions arise in their Spirits. One fastens upon a Presbytery which neither he nor the Christian World, for this almost fifteen [...]undred yeares, well understood, and in the ignorant heat of that desire, begets a thing of such a doubtfull shape, that when it is presented to a Minister that can see, he may justly doubt whether it be a thing that ought to be Chris [...]ed at all, or not. From his dislike of Episco­pacy results his love of Presbitery, and from those two together, such a miscellaneous Impression is made in the blood, that any thing begot of that is very likely to look monstrous scurvily. In the minde of another of them, Canterbury continually runnes, and though his fancie be not strong enough to hit the lineaments of the Man exactly, yet his hate is active enough to draw him more monster then he is in shape or m [...]nners▪ He hath an ugly shape of the man in his minde, though not a true one, and that ugly Idea, Prints it selfe in his blood, as we often see mishapen Clouds in the Water; when his Religion, his appetite, and Mistris incites him to give due benevolence, he cannot well expect, if [...]e understand himself, that the issue of that Close, should have but one Face, and that handsome▪ but one Name, and that Christian. Cer­tainly, it must needs prove a thing of doubtfull Interpretation, of a Priest-and-Minister Face, of a Secular and Ecclesiastick Head and S [...]oulders, or else an uncooth-shap't Lay-Elder bepist in the Swad­ling-clouts; for part of its Originall it will owe to that Impression which the Father hath derived from strange apprehensions of Canter­bury, and part to the Dad and Mam, as meere Seperatists. Neither is it unlike, that the shape of a Bishop should contract Lay-Eldership and Originall Sinne from the blood of a Brownist, where ignorance and hate hath mistaken, and writ it foule.

But see! here comes a Company of Assasinates to make a religious [...]iot upon Cheapefide-Crosse: they looke something like Men, and might possibly beget Children with humane Faces; but for those very Images which they will carry home to their Wives, Imprinted in their Animal-Spirits, (Spiritus animalis quoniam natura mobilis, tenuis passi­vusque est, aptus est omnibus a rebus pati, Campanella. lib. 4. cap. 6.) by looking eagerly upon what they desire to ruine.

The Objects of Love and Hate cut deepe Impressions in our Soules. One falls foule upon the Picture of Judas and his Lanthorne, and when he comes home reports to his Wife his zeale and valour, and [...]hen [Page] whilst his spirit is big and full of the action, begets a Brat with a Judas-lanthorn-belly, which in time will be fi [...]d with Illumination and Gutt, like the Fathers. Another [...]al upon the Statur [...] of S [...]int Peter; a third upon Pauls; a fourth upon those which are remembrancers of more glo­rious Names, and from all these first lookt upon with hate, while they stand entire, and then with pleasure when they are dismembred, strange unshapen figures are imprest in the blood, able to make all their posteri­ty Apes, Elves, and Hobgoblins.

Thus they prevaricate from my first Rule which teaches Men to take heed what affection presides in them, and what Impression they derive from outward Objects. And since mishapen objects possesse the eager beholders with mishapen figures; I advise the Sectaries hereafter to finde themselves objects wherein there is a beauteous conformity of all parts, out of a Christian pitty to them and their posterity, I wish them all which have Wives to buy the Canon of the Masse, ana the Golden Legend, for there they shall finde most beautious pictures of the Ro­man Saints of Bishops, Priests, Deacons, Archbishops, Archdeacous, Ca­nons, Demicanons, Prebends, Deans, Nuns, and Virgin-Ladies, which wil beget [...]ine [...]ormes in their fancies, especially if with a devout intention they peruse the story of their lives subjoynd, which will certainly send them back to gaze upon the pictures with a great deale of love. One se­rious look of a Brownist upon the red Capitall Letters in the Canon of the Masse, would enable him to beget a Boy or G [...]rle with Cherry­cheeks and L [...]ps. But I must praemonish thee (good Brownist) that thou look not upon all the pictures in the Masse-book and Legend with equal ardency; take [...]eed of staring too wide upon S. Dunstan holding the De­vill by the Nose with a payre of tongs, lest immediately upon it thou chance to get a Babe which may have more of the Devill, the Nose, and the Tongues in it, then of S. Dunstan. There is a Picture of a certaine Saint, preaching in the Water with a little Milstone about his necke, by miracle to convert the Ethnicks which flung him so desperately into the Water▪ passe by this picture I pray thee, lest while the Imagination of this is fresh in thee, thou shouldst aff [...]ict the World with a prodigi­ous opinionist which would induce a forme, and urge the necessity of Preaching in the Water, with Milstones about mens neckes, to put U­niversitie Hoods quite out of fashion. And thus I passe from the first Rule, and your trespasses against it, with the redresses of ills ensuing to you from those trespasses, to the second Rule as followeth.

2 Rule. Let no Sectary dare to enter the armes of his mistris, before he has praemeditated, and is certainly inform'd whether benigne starres be [Page] in the H [...]roscope, whether happy Planets smile upon one another with a gratious aspect, that a Childe may not be got (as Spencer speaks)

But this Rule the Brownist is partly resolv'd, partly necessitated to transgresse though he get a Childe with more horrid and ridiculou [...] Phisnomies then are necessary for a whole masque of anticks. First be­cause he neither has nor will have any skill in this kind of humane lear­ning. Secondly, his extemporary Cock-sparrow devotion towards his doxie will not let him take time to Catechise a Planet, and say, is it peace Jehu (for by his learning he may easily take that for the name of a Pla­net) or in what point of Heaven is Leviathan now. Thirdly, because he cannot be convinct that the Stars have an Influentiall authority here up­on Earth, since he beleeves that the Bishops which liein a neerer prospect to him have none at all; And yet the Stars (beloved sought in their courses against Jabin and Sisera, and why may not the Stars take up the Cud­gels to break thy babies Head, or Brain, or face, and make it break forth a [...]ery Moone-calfe; rather then you should be quite ignorant in this Rule and fright us still with your Childrens ill-portending faces, I pray that you may convert Bouker, Alestre, Winter, and all the rest of the Alma­nack-mongers to be the advisers and grooms of your wantou Stooles.

3 Rule. My third Rule or caution is founded upon a relation of Ae­lian a Greek Historian and Philosopher. In Africa (sayes he) where it is very hot, and Waters are scarce, wilde Beasts of all kinds and shapes meet iogether at the Water in very great Companies, and there, when their spirits are cheered by the Water, they engender with one another at randome, and so by a continual coalition of promiscuous blood, Africk is continually full of strange and monstrous shapes.

It is not hard to draw a faire parallelisme betwixt these African Beasts, and the practise of the invisible brethren; your hearts▪ (brethren) are known to be as great and malignant as those which the surly Dog­star breathes; your companies are full, and of shapes, strange and exotick, whether compar'd with us, or one another, your watering places are but few and private; your waters are cheering, sublimated Cock-broth, amber­greece caudle, candied-eryngomotives, frontinack & muscatellie-means, with the high and mighty spirit of Diasatyrion to raise your weaklings, fallen into interims of spirituall desertions; now, if you chance to min­gle your loves promiscuously (which I will not say) as you i [...]e [...]eave opinions, and beget monsters, in reason, your Church may well Vie with Africk for monstrous shapes, and give it three in seven. Take heed there­fore [Page] (good private Christion) of these hot, private, lusty, and promiscuous meetings, if thou mean'st that thy Childe, or him that thou mayst own for thine, should have a handsome ingenious look.

My fourth Rule informes the Sectary not to be rash in the choice of a place for familiar congresse and collation of notes with his Mistris, place may conduce much to the temper, both of the body and mind of a Child. A Child got upon a payre of stairs, is very likely to be crump-shouldred; and besides that, may confesse the place of its Originall by staring. An Orchard may conduce to the Green-sicknesse; a Dayrie to a Whey­beard; a Chee [...]e-loft to all kind of Obstructions; a Gallery, to a Long­ [...]ose▪ a dull kitchin to the love-hickup, for the want of Wit; and repleti­on by meat and drink engender love and the hickup. If thy Mistris will stand a veney rather then faile against a Bean-stalk, canst thou think to beget any thing there but an Arminian, for the Mothers fear and suspi­tion of breaking her Bean-rest, may infuse in a Babe so begot a strong suspition of falling away finally, against the Brownists Position of Assu­rance: If she be so comming that she wil allow thy Courtship, even there where there is nothing but Venice-glasses & Urinals behind her, the Birth may prove an open trasparant Foole, and have the Pissing evill for ever.

My fifth Rule adviseth thee to leave thy Preaching, and fall to thy Trade, if thou mean to get Children with handsome Faces, and Symme­trious Limbs. Those high speculations of thine, concerning Gods eter­nall efficacious decree, concerning the certainty of Divine prescience op­posing contingency of actions, concerning the immobility of Divine praedestination, end reprobation; those (I say) make thy weak Spirit, like a Skain of raveld Silk, which is hardly evolved without snapping, [...]aring, and a thousand knots; whilst thy Spirits are so entangled, perplext, and at­ [...]enuated into single threds, thy Childe must probably have such a long, thin, and narrow Face, that a man even with that Face, instead of a stick might stop paper into the hole of an Eldern-gnn. The Roman Priests even for this Reason, Because their Spirits are engad'g in Divine and Humane Contemplations, are prohibited the Marriage-bed; and if at any time a con­templative Priest chance to g [...]t a Baby, it proves such a witlesse and shape­lesse Foole, that he never owns it as his Son, but his Nephew. Much more I could have said in this Argument of Sectary-facemending, but that a se­rious study which I have in hand, cals me to play upon a deeper Reed, then [...]nes the Face of a [...]. If these Precepts already given do not mend their Faces and behaviours, I beeleeve our Honourable Patriots of the high Councell will become such natural magnians as Jacob was, and lay Rods for'em in their most private Watring-troughs.