Hinds Elder Brother, or the Master-Thief discovered, being a pithy relation of the life of Major Thomas Knowls, his many escapes, cheats, and witty Robberies.
Of his Birth and Education.
THe greatest certainty of the place of his Birth, is to most uncertain, he not being able to give any exact account by reason his Parents died so much in his minority, but left to the care of some friends in Lealand Parish in Lancashire, which care of theirs extended it self to nothing more then how to be rid of him, which he to their desires effected in the age of fourteen coming here to London, where he had not been many dayes a [Page 2] mendicant, but he is entertained by Punteus the Mountebank, who then was newly come into England.
Of his serving the Mountebank
HE had not long been with the Mountebank (but a witty rogue) he was so dexterous grown in his profession, that he added much to the Sale of his Masters Antidotes, by his witty Jests, Boufoonish behaviour, and nimble vaultings, so that he became chief man to Punteus, and who is the Gentleman now, but Mr. Johan a pudding.
Of his curing an Ʋsurer of the Toothach.
A Rich Usurer being much tormented with the Toothach and not willing to be at too much Charge in procuring his Ease, came to Mr. Punteus his Lodging, thinking to have his cure for little or nothing, (by reason that Punteus drew many poor mens teeth that were afflicted out of charity) and enquiring for the French Doctor of the Maid of the house, she presently goes up to the Chamber, where she finds Knowls and his Comrade fitting themselves with false Beards, and Antick apparrel for the next dayes show, she acquaints them, that there was an Usurer at the door to speak with their Master, and as she thought by the muffling of his Chops to have some [Page 3] Remedy for his teeth, whereupon Knowls cryes out to his Comrade, a prise, now off with this party coloured Coat, Give me my Masters Gown, fasten m [...] on that black Beard, stand bare, and keeping your countenance call up the Usurer, up comes the Patient relates his malady, and as a poor man invokes a remedy, which Knowls out supposed Punteus, sayes he will apply his best skill for Gods sake, and setting the Usurer down, views his tooth, and sayes I shall do the cure, but you must have a little patience, for it is a very forked one; his man imployed his time so well, that whiles Knowls pulled out the tooth, he pulled out of his pocket a Cats skin Purse with twenty nine pounds, two Rings, and a Watch. The Cure being effected, Knowls demands something for his pains, the Usurer replies, (the Maid being by) with an Oath that he had not one penny, nor the value about him of one farthing, nay sayes Knowls, since you swear before witnesse, I am content, God speed you well, and so departs my Usurer, little thinking Knowls had been so well paid.
How Knowls robbed the Scotch Commissioners, when they lay at Somerset House.
KNowls having a great desire to finger some of the Scoth Commissioners money, by reason he had heard they had received abundance, though for a little desert, either in them or their Army. He plots many wayes, but none takes effect; at last he takes a shoulder Trumpet, flings it under his Cloak, he being in black, very neat, more like a Scotch Laird then a Trumpeter, and away he marches to the Gate, where he finds severall Trumpeters, Waits, and others at Push a Pike with the Porter, who valiantly defended himself in the behalf of his Lairds Pouch, Knowls makes his approach, saying, how now honest Porter, What are these fellows, Fools or Fidlers? O my Saul are they, quoth the Porter, wad yeer gude worship speak wi my Lord, yes quoth Knowls, I have affairs of importance to comunicate to thy Lord; mary and yee een sall ple [...]se yeer gude worship to gang along wi me, so with that, in enters Knowls with the Porter, who goes and acquaints his Lord, the Lord Lowden, that there was a Gentleman to speak with his Honor. Lowden comes into the [...]ining Room; where he finds Knowls attending: who addresses himself unto my Lord Commissioner, saying, my Lord, I am Master Trumpeter to the Navy, under the Command of [Page 5] Earl of Warwick and being sent hither to furnish the Fleet with Trumpets, I am charged by the Earl who lies now upon the Downs to salute your Honours, in troth Sir, replyes Lowden, I am een blyth to hear his Lordship is in gude health, calling to his Porter, saying, Saundy, gar Jeamy give this Gentleman forty Shillings, and with a Congee departs into his Chamber, the Servants being affrighted at the unwelcome Guest they had brought their Lord, some runs one way some another, leaving Knowls alone in the dining room, who in a moment dismantles the cupboard of a large quantity of Plate being fled before the Porter or Jeamy could come with the forty shillings, who upon their finding the plate gone, cryed out to a wofull Tune O Black day, the false Lown has beguiled us aw, little wist I I quoth the porter, that his Worship was a piper: the Dell blaw's Baggs, mi Livings gene, but the tumults continued so long amongst the Bullies, that Knowls had convenient time to escape.
How Knowls left his Majer the Mountebank, turned Cutter and robbed Hind.
KNowls having a desire no longer to be a servant, if he could devise any how to live a Master, and having gained a pretty summe under the Mountebank, he takes his leave of him, and resolves to live a brother of the Blade, huyes him a pretty highway Nag, a good Sword and Case of private Pistolls (away goes my Friend to the Road) and now Gentlemen beware your Portmantles) many exploits our Mounsieur Abbot playes, for so he is called now) in Lincoln shire Notingham and other places, and one night coming into the Lion Inne at Worship, eight miles from Mansfield, the Hostler takes his Horse, he passes under the notion of a Grasier, and is by the said Hostler set to Hind (for one that was possest with a good round summe) that night they supped together, being ignorant one of the others Calling, the next day in Welbeck Forest Hind overtakes our Mounsieur, claps a plstol to his breast, wishing him immediately to deliver his purse, or life and purse together, Knowls seing death at the Collar of his Doublet, wisely replyes, in faith Sir, I have a summe of money about me, which I do not value near comparable with my life, therefore here take it, delivering to Hind a leather Bag, with fourscore and od pounds in it, and Sir, believe me, [Page 7] Since you have done so gallantly, as to adventure a [...] upon me I swear to you, I will never prosecute you, therefore, never shun me, wheresoever you see me, and riding on together, a little along the Forest, he sayes, being in discourse, I pray Sir tell me one t [...]ing, Hind replying, said he would, then sayes Knowls, pray you had you any thing in that pistoll you clapt to my Breast, or did you it to affright me, nay sayes Hind, God damne me, it is charged with a Brace of Bullets, and thereupon slaps off his pistoll, which Knowls perceiving, claps one of his to Hinds throat, saying, now return back my money with wh [...]t addition you can make of your own, or by Jove you die, so he dismantled Mr. Hind of all his money riding away crying, farewell younger Brother.
How Knowls being brought a Prisoner in the Habit of a Parson to White Hall made his Escape.
KNowls being taken by one of the Thieftakers about this Town, was brought to White Hall, and [Page 7] there upon the Guard secured that night, the next day secured in a Chamber, having two Souldiers Sentries upon him, shortly after being examined, he was asked what made him assume that Habit, being he could neither write nor read, he replyed the rather because he thought no man would suspect an illiterate man in such a Coat, and after some questions he was remanded back to the said Custody, where after liberally giving all sorts of Liquours to the two Souldiers his Guard, he seeing them in a merry mood, thus began to speak, dear Comrades and fellow Souldiers, you may perceive, this is onely through malice, that I am here a Prisoner, Since I have never done any thing against the State, yet there is one thing vexeth me to the Soul, what is that Maister answered the Souldiers, marry quoth Knowls, I have fifty pounds in the hands of the man that keepeth the Leg in the pallace yard, and I would willingly give ten pounds to a good fellow, that I had it here, one of the Souldiers replies, Sir I will fetch it you with a good will, nay nay, [Page 8] sayes Knowls, that cannot be, for he will not give it to any body but my self, yet I can tell you what we may do, one of you put on my Habit here, and I will put on your Red Coat and Bandileers, the other take his Musquet, and go along with me, and so in lesse then half an hour, we will be back with the money, and I will give you five pounds apiece for your pains, the matter being thus carryed, you can no wayes be found in blame, this conceit takes, away marches Knowls and one of the Souldiers, the other lies down upon the bed in his Parsons weed, they march to Westminster, come into the Legge, call for a pot of Ale, which is brought them, Knowls he demands for the Master of the House, who comes immediately, he takes him aside, whispers him in the Ear, thrusting half a Crown in his hand, saying, Sir, I would not that my Comrade should know I have any money, but whilst we drink, pay your self out of this, and saying, shall it be so carryed, the man of the House not suspecting any thing, replyies aloud, you shall [Page 10] you shall Sir, and so departs the Roome, Knowls turns to the Souldier, come Brother, let us drink one half dozen, and by that time the money will be told out, further saying, truly this man of the House is a very honest man, now by that time they had drunk four or five pots, the Souldier begins to ask why the Master of the House came not his way, Knowls having the Pot of Ale in his hand, suddenly flings the pot violently in the souldiers face, knocking him down, crying aloud, Villain dost thou say, my Captain is a Coward, I would have thee know, I have so much of a souldier in me, that Ile die before I hear my Officer abused, but Ile have the Corporall to fetch thee to the Guard with a Pox, and so running out of the house, before the souldier recovered Knowls had crossed the water, and so clearly escaped.
How Knowls being Captain of the Pioners to the Scotch Army escaped from VVorcester.
KNowls having Command of the Pio [...]ers at Worcester, upon their being routed he calls to him one of the C [...]untrey-men which he had prest for a pioner not many days before, and one whom he had noted to bee a monstrous silly fellow, saying, alas for you poor hearts, for you will have no quarter, the enemy saves none but officers, upon which words the fellow was ready to sink, but Knowls sayes come courage, give me thy Pickax and Cassock, and here take my Sword, Buff Coat, and Hat, and I will run for it, for I am lighter of foot then thou art, whereupon they change and by that means Knowls escapes the Parliaments forces entring the Town, some Troops enters the house where this Country man was who presently cryes out, save my life Gentlemen, for I am Major Knowls, Captain of the Pioners, I quoth the soldier I will give you quarter, but I will pay your skin for a tumbling rogue, and knockt him soundly, stript him naked, and turned him amongst the rest of the prisoners.