SCEN. I.
Enter Mildred, Offa.
Mild
HElp, help, oh help.
Off.
Your cries will be in vain.
'Tis not in the power of any flesh but yours,
To allay, or to prevent my heat of blood.
Mild.
O you diviner powers that ordain'd chastity
To be a vertue, lend your strength to guard it.
Off
Thy cries shall be as fruitless as thy life
If thou offend'st me with 'em; hear but this
Impertinently peevish maid, and tremble
But to conceive a disobedient thought
Against my will. Canst thou without my favour,
Be better then a begger?
Mild.
Yet a begger
Is better then a Whore.
Off.
How canst thou judge
That knowst not what is either? let a wench
That knows what's what, or has been both, maintain it;
But this is from the purpose; I am so far
From casting of thee off to be a begger,
As I intend to make thee my rich equal,
And not a Whore, but wife; you know your Nurse
Has undertaken to find it lawful for us
To marry; and canst thou with modesty
Deny me present pleasure, that within these three dayes
Shall confer honour on thee for thy life?
Mild.
Would you first spoil my honor to repair it?
Off.
'Tis mine when I contract for't.
Mild.
Not before
Our Covenant is pass'd; that is, the Priest
Has joyn'd our hearts and hands.
Off.
By this account,
A man backs not his Horse before he's paid for't;
Nor puts his nose into a house before
He buyes the Lease on't; leave your precise folly,
Madam formality; force me not to force thee,
Yield with that very breath thou now drawest in,
Or it returns thy last.
Enter Edith.
Ed.
My Lord, my Lord.
Off.
This Witch or Divel haunts me.
Ed.
O my Lord,
I told you late a wonder; I bring now
A miracle, a miracle.
Off.
What with a mischief?
Ed.
Your Brother is surviv'd from death again;
My Lord
Anthynus is come home and safe,
The Heavens be prais'd.
Mild.
O grant that it be true.
Off.
Out Hag.
Ed.
Nay, run me in as far as you can if I lie;
Up to the Hilts if I lie.
Off.
What canst thou mean by this?
Ed.
Nay, what he means I knew not, for he denies his name,
Sayes he is not
Anthynus, but a
Northumbrian Gentleman;
And desires conference with my Lady
Mildred
From the fine Lord was here (what call you him?)
The Kings great Favourite; But if I am I,
If you are you, if any thing be any thing,
It is
Anthynus.
Ex. Mildred. Ex. Edith.
Off.
Go you to your Chamber,
And be not seen I charge you. Let him enter,
But first send in my servants.
I did mistrust he liv'd; O those false Villains,
That fac'd me down they kill'd him, may they be
A year a famishing. Have you tricks
Anthynus?
How can he thinke, though he disguis'd his name
Or Countrey, that we should not know his person?
What should his aim or drift be? stay, perhaps
He does suspect I was in the action
[Page]
Against my fathers life and his, & thinks him dead,
So steals upon me thus as his own ghost,
To terrifie my conscience, shallow, shallow;
But I'l so fit him; It is most evidently he.
Enter Osriick, Alfride, four Servants, at the other d
[...]or Arnold.
Osr.
My Lord, how e're
Some of your servants are pleas'd to make themselves
Merry with a pretended knowledge of me,
I do presume your honour cannot know me.
Off.
From one so false never came clearer truth.
Osr.
What means your honour?
Off.
It is true, my honour
Cannot, nay, dares not know thee for a Brother,
Although mine eyes through tears of grief and anger,
Discern the monster I have often call'd so.
Off.
This is most strange.
Off.
Look that he come not near me;
Perfidious Parricide, hast thou kill'd my Father?
Destroy'd the life that gave thee life? and now
Seek'st by surprize to take mine too?
Osr.
Pray hear me.
Off.
Upon him all at once, hew him in pieces;
I'l bear you out in't; he has kill'd your Lord.
Osr.
Forbear your outrage.
Alfr.
Give us leave to speak.
Off
Villains, are they to be obey'd or I?
Arn.
My Lord, your judgement is too rash upon them.
Fellows forbear, and forbear you my Lord,
You shall not so heap blood upon your head;
I lov'd my Lord your father, and do prize
His blood and memory, as becomes a Servant
Of the best rank: And if at most and worst
My Lord
Anthynus here stand guilty of
His fathers death, you must not be his Judge,
Nor we his Executioners.
Off.
Are you
Become my master, you old Ruffian?
Arn.
No,
Your Servant Sir, but subject to the Law;
The Law that must determine this mans cause,
Not you, nor we, what ever he deserves.
And till he shall be censur'd by that law
We'l find a Prison for him.
Serv.
I, to Prison with him.
Osr.
Will you but hear yet how you are mistaken?
Arn.
Pray heaven we be, as you may clear your self;
That's all the harm we wish you; this must be
Your course my Lord; would you heap blood upon you?
Alfr.
Let me but speak a word.
Arn.
As we go twenty.
Off.
I could have lik'd the other shorter way
Much better; but my knaves will have it thus,
Yet not to wrong 'em, simple honesty
May be in such sometimes as well as me.
Exit.
Enter Carpenter, Mason, Smith, in Divels halits; two dark Lanthorus, a Pickaxe and a Rope, with an Engine fastned to a Post, and a bunch of Picklocks.
Mas.
Prethee tread softly yet a little further,
And we are safe.
Smi.
Hark, heard ye nothing? whist.
Carp.
I never knew Thieves so timerous as you are.
Can we expect a booty without boldnesse?
Besides, have we not shapes if we were spyed,
Able to fright better Believers then
My politick Lord oth' house here.
Mas.
Hark prethee.
Carp.
All's sure I warrant thee.
Smi.
I pray it prove so.
Carp.
Pray on I prethee; prayers become this coat,
Like swearing in a Surplisse; tush, they are all,
All the whole house asleep, and I heard nothing
As we pass'd through it, but usuall sleepy sounds,
Puffing and blowing, shorting farting and such like.
[Page]
Yes, I cry mercy, as we pass'd by the Butlers chamber,
I heard his bed crackle shrewdly, and I doubt,
The Dary-maid and he were jumbling of
A Posset together. Come, now we are safely arriv'd at the
Fountain of our hopes, the well of comfort. Smith, lay
Down your Picklocks, they have done well their office in our passage hither. Mason,
Advance your Pickaxe, whilst the Carpenter squares out
Our new work; now for the honour of Artificers; here, here,
Here is the Trap-door, the mouth of the rich mine, which
We'l make bold to open. And let men of our Occupations
Learn the way that many grow rich by, and
No body knows how they come by their wealth. That
Is, when they make such concavities as these, for
Rich men to hide their treasure in, that they
Make also a privy way for themselves to come and
Take a share on't.
Mas.
This covetous Lord by this time has laid in
An unknown deal of wealth, I warrant you.
Smi.
But we'l not take away too much at once.
Carp.
No, we'l but piddle; we'l not take above
A thousand pounds to night.
(opens)
So, I'l go down;
And when I shake the rope, then crane me up again; give me one of
The Lanthorns: So, so, so, let me down handsomely;
I'l warrant you money, the Divel and all before day yet.
Smi.
Nay, if we get off clear but with a thousand pound
Amongst us, it will serve for drinking
Money till we come for more.
Mas.
This money will come luckily for a better purpose.
I have three bastards at nurse and a fourth in the Paniers.
The rope stirs; pull lustily, this pull for a
Thousand pound.
(Outlaw comes up)
Smi.
I fear 'tis light gold, methinks he does not weigh
So heavy as he went down. Comrade, what hast thou
Brought? what ail'st thou? canst not speak? I hope thou
Wert not frighted.
1. Outl.
O help! where am I? drawn from one hell into another? ha!
Mas.
Come, leave your fooling, what money have you?
1. Outl.
Had I the price of Kingdoms I'd give all
But for one bit of meat; but I have none.
Smi.
Slid, he would cosen us; how do you look when you lie?
Oh me!
Mas.
What ailest thou?
Smi.
This is not he; it is a gastly spirit.
1. Outl.
What? are you men?
Mas.
Yes, but we have play'd the Divels, till we have
Got a spirit betwixt us.
1. Outl.
If you be men, help me to food, a little food.
Mas.
What art thou that canst look thus Piepeckt, Crowtrod, or Sparrow-blasted? ha!
1. Outl.
O, I am pin'd with hunger.
Mas.
Here, stay thy stomach; there's a crust I brought
To stop the open mouth of the Mastive, if he had flown at us.
Carp.
O pull, pull away.
Smi.
There he is now I am sure.
Carp.
I shall be devour'd else.
Mas.
Whats the matter Fellow?
Carp.
Take his teeth out o' me, I cannot tell you else.
(Pull up Carp. an Outl. hanging on him)
Mas.
O Cannibal! wilt thou eat a Carpenter?
2. Outl.
O meat, meat, if you be men.
Mas.
No, we are Divels; but hare's another crust for thee
What e're thou art; we have play'd the Thieves to
Very good purpose.
Carp.
He has gnaw'd a piece of my Flank out with's teeth;
And miss'd very narrowly certain members of more moment,
[Page]
They'd have gone down glib with him; now in the
Divels name, what are ye?
Smi.
Until their crusts be done they cannot tell us.
Mas.
Come, I do suspect the subtilty of this cruel politick
Lord; would we were well out on's house. No noise my
Masters, and we'l bring you to meat enough; and then
We'l hear your story, and tell our own; a word more
Here, may cost all our lives.
Smith.
Take up your tools and lead the way.
Enter Mildred and Edith.
Smi.
Come, softly, softly then.
Mild.
I will away this night.
Mas.
Peace, hark.
Ed.
But Madam.
Mil.
Had you the only Tongue of all perswasion,
So much I prize my life, & honour more,
I would not misse this opportunity
For all that you could say.
Smi.
Are not these Sprites?
Carp.
No evil ones I'l warrant, they are so white;
Hark a little more.
Ed.
To night he's troubled 'bout
Anthynus coming,
So that he will not think of lust or wantonnesse.
Mild.
That trouble keeps him waking; and I fear
Will rather spur him forwards then withhold him.
Smi.
They talk methinks; but I cannot hear what
For shaking.
Carp.
Take heed thou dost not jingle thy Picklocks,; slid,
They'l ring up the house like a larum bell.
Ed.
Well, since you are so resolute, would we were out of the
House once, if we be taken, 'tis not the price of
A million of Maiden-heads, as the market goes, can save
Our lives.
Carp.
Good, I have found what sprites they be. They
Must needs be the wenches that I suspected were in
The Butlers chamber, and made the stiff standing bedstead that
I set up but last week, crack like a wicker chair.
Ah Rogues! I heard ye.
Ed.
Oh me! we are undone and taken.
Mas.
I'm glad 'tis no worse.
Carp.
Peace, if you have a mind to scape out oth' house alive.
Mild.
Come Nurse, my fear is over, if they be
Men, and bring us out oth' house,
They cannot be so dangerous as he I scap'd.
Carp.
Did he so put thee to't, my little Bustlepate? what a stout blade's this Butler?
Mil.
These are good Fellows Nurse.
Carp.
Yes faith, and fear you nothing for all our divelish
Outsides; if we scape out o' the house, you s
[...]ape, and
If we fail, our necks are sure to hang by't; and so
On there afore once more in the name of darknesse.
Off.
If my attempt now fail, may my repulse
Strike lust for ever out of countenance.
(Ent. Offa, light and Dagger.)
It is decreed she sleeps with me or death
1. Outl.
S'death, it is he.
2. Outl.
Let us fall to and beat him.
Carp.
As you can hope for meat again, or life,
Look big, and use no words; and so glide by.
Off.
The night, the place, her fate, and my desire,
Do all conspire unto my wish'd advantage.
And so I come coy Damosel.
(Hide the women under their habits, and so Exeunt all but Offa.)
Ha? how? why? where? who? or what can you or I be?
They are all gone, and I am tottering left
Upon an Earthquake; gentle, holla, holla,
Set not too hard old Ops, thou'lt shake thy rider,
Through thy chinky wrinkles into Limbo.
I shall sinke piecemeal if thou trot so hard.
So, so, so, Holla, holla, gentle earth.
[Page]
Open not here, not near that part of thee
That has but now disgorg'd those famish'd ghosts,
That with the Furies would have beckned me
Along to hell with'em; so, let me down,
I must not follow yet, but sleep and think upon't.
I will come time enough you need not fear.
But first creep back to bed, as nothing were.
Enter Osriick, Ethelswick, Edelred, Alfride.
Osr.
You have told me wonders, which have pierc'd my soul
With horror and amazement; yet I must confesse,
In all that I am like to suffer, heaven is just,
Whilst wrath my wilfulnesse has pull'd upon me;
Yet pardon, since thou gav'st me that affection
That wandred with me in this oblique course,
This unquoth way, with which I have not stray'd
Further then love might lead an humane frailty.
Eth.
You do consider well, my Lord, and we
Beseech you strive to counter-check these crosses
Still with your Kingly reason.
Osr.
Yes, and fall upon our present businesse; there you find me
Out of a spacious Kingdom of mine own,
Shut in a narrow Prison; whilst the brother
Of her, whose love I came to seck, has married
The Queen I might have had; before I have seen
His Sister; there was a quick expedition.
Eth.
My Lord, for that before you lest the Court
In your suppos'd distraction; the ore-busie Lords
Eaufride and
Theodwald, out of strong conceit
The sight of her would cure you, feign'd your letters
Which fetch'd the Queen; then banish'd us the Courth,
Before we could take notice; we had been
Strong Traitors else to let that match go forwards.
Nor heard we of it until now the Post
That brings the news oth' Kings and Queens approach
Arriv'd here in the City.
Osr.
All think him then their King still?
Eth.
Yes, yes, and though he told us who he was;
The overwise Lords imputed that to his madnesse.
Osr.
It seems he was not so mad, but he could take
The Queen into my bed.
Eth.
Where she lik'd him so well
That she now brings him home unto her own.
Still thinking him your person.
Osr.
Whilst I lie here for his,
Accus'd of Parricide; but I will not
Reveal my self till trial.
(Ent. Mildred)
Now all my sufferings are turn'd into delightful recreations.
Fairest of Virgins welcome; marvail not
That at first sight I knew you, when my heart
Wears the Impression of your Portraiture;
And all my intellectual faculties
Bow to no other object but your beauty.
Mild.
O Sir, lay by this high dissimulation;
For though I find you now are not my brother.
Osr.
Lo ye, she knows I am not
Anthynus.
Her vertue like the Sun will clear the mist
Of error we were lost in.
Mild.
Not
Anthynus?
Yes, the bright Sun discovers not a truth
More evident then that you are
Anthynus
Nor ever shin'd on man I lov'd so well,
Or hop'd to marry, since you are not my brother.
Osr.
I understand not this.
Mild.
Indeed I came
To tell you so, and could you clear your hand
Of the foul stain of blood you are accus'd of,
Were I sole monarchess of all this Island,
I'd kneel to beg a brides place in your bed.
Osr.
If I can clear my self?
Mild.
Nay, mark me further;
If you clear not your self, I'l not outlive you,
To call to mind the man that I so lov'd,
Butcher'd his Father; though he were not mine,
[Page]
I lov'd him as a father; oh good heaven!
How good? how reverend a man was he?
Osr.
Weep not, but hear me; or hear me though you weep;
I am not
Anthynus.
Mild.
I may say as well,
I do not love you.
Osr.
I never had an hand
In blood of any man.
Mild.
Prove that, I am yours.
Osr.
Fetch me a Priest.
Edel.
I saw one i'th next room
Drinking and singing catches with some Prisoners.
Ed.
Withhold your hands,
Anthynus now again,
Fair Lady, is your brother.
Mild.
Why did you mock me then?
Ed.
To save you from your brother
Offa's lust,
I feign'd that you were not his Sister;
In hope to marry you, he might forbear
His divelish purpose.
Mild.
Now I am lost for ever,
In being the Daughter of a murder'd Father,
And made uncapable of you in marriage.
Osr.
Yet hear me, and be comforted.
Mild.
O me!
Ed.
Hark my Lord
Anthynus.
Osr.
I do not know that name.
Ed.
Go to, go to; nor you do not remember
How I behav'd my self upon the eating of Spurging
Comfects, that your Brother
Offa gave me,
And laid the fault on you; pray Jove, I say, this murder
Be no more his fault then yours.
A shout within. Enter Keeper.
Osr.
Hark, the wide world abroad is fill'd with joy,
And must we only be shut from it? now.
Keep.
My Lord
Anthynus.
Osr.
Still must I be
Anthynus?
Keep.
You are call'd unto your Trial.
Osr.
Who are my Judges?
Keep.
Those that are bribe-free I dare warrant 'em.
It may perhaps go somewhat the harder with you;
For nothing but white innocence can quit you,
Pray heaven you hav't about you; even the King
And Queen, the Queen and King I should have said,
For she's our Soveraign, 'tis her Law must do it.
Osr.
What King do you mean then?
Keep.
King
Osriick; you know nothing.
Osr.
Yes, I know him as well as he knows himself.
Keep.
Take heed Sir what you say.
Osr.
I fear him not,
But am as good as he; now carry me for something.
Mild.
O pray take heed.
Keep.
How?
Mild.
Peace, he did not say so.
Keep.
Slid, he's as mad as his brother
Offa.
Osr.
Is
Offa mad?
Keep.
O quite besides himself, and talks the strangliest
Of his fathers murder, your running away
And the desire he has to hang his brother here;
And then he is haunted with sprites too, they say;
You will know all anon; will you go my Lord?
Osr.
Yes, will you be so kind as to see my Trial?
Mild.
Indeed I must not leave you.
Keep.
'Tis a kinde part indeed, and may become
A Sister; like the wise that would not leave
Her husband till she saw him totter.
Set the best foot forward, and the best face
You can, my Lord, upon the businesse.
Exeunt.
Hoboys.
Enter Theodwald and Eaufride, Kelrick and Elkwin, Theodrick, Anthynus and Bertha.
Omn.
Long live King
Osriick and Queen
Bertha.
Anth.
I joyn with ye in your wishes for the Queen;
And wish well to King
Osriick as a stranger.
Omn.
How's this?
Anth.
But will no longer personate him;
For now be it known to you that I am no
Osriick;
But he that warns you call me so no more.
Bert.
What means my love?
Anth.
Nay, Madam, 'tis most serious.
Kelr. Elkw.
Blesse us!
Theodw.
He's madder now then e're he was.
Eauf.
I am at my wits end too; if marriage
Will not tame him, I know not what to say to't.
Anth.
I have told you truth, and your fair grace can witnesse
How violently I was thrown upon the fortune,
I thank those provident Lords, against my vow.
Bert.
I take it as the providence of Heaven;
And from the Son of that most injur'd Father,
Whom now in my joys strength I could shed tears for.
I yield you are my head, and I your handmaid.
(She sets him down, and kneels; he takes her up.)
Eauf.
So, so, a few nights trial has got her liking
For ever fast enough; what notable old Cockscombs
Have we been made? nay, made ourselves indeed.
Anth.
Now further know, my Lords,
I am
Anthynus,
The Son of that old honest Lord, 'gainst whom
Your sulphurous malice kindled the Queens anger.
Elkw.
Who'l have an head now for an half penny?
Kelr.
And for tother two Tokens mine into the Bargain.
Enter Keeper, with Osriick, Ethelswick, Edith, Alfride, Edelred, Guard.
Keep.
Make way there for the Prisoner.
Eauf.
See King
Osriick.
Theodw.
I, this is our King indeed.
Theodr.
O let me wash your feet Sir with my tears.
Osr.
Thy trespasse is thine honour my
Theodrick.
And I must thank your care my Lords, as it deserves,
Your over-reaching care to give my Dignity
As much as in you lay unto another.
And for your betters counterfeit in my name,
By which the Queen is mock'd into a marriage.
Theodw.
That was your policy, your wit, my Lord.
Eauf.
A shame on't. would I were hang'd, that I
Might hear no more on't.
Bert.
Fair Sir, the Queen is pleas'd, and hopes you are
In her that's so much fairer in your thoughts,
Anth
My Sister
Mildred.
Osr.
Yet, my noble Brother,
She stands in fortune equal with your self,
In being mine.
Anth.
But not great Sir, untill
You are acquitted of my fathers murder.
Osr.
I am clear of that, as I am not
Anthynus.
Anthynus is accus'd, not
Osriick Sir,
Your father is required at your hands.
Bert.
Ha!
Arn.
But his accuser reads another lesson
Now Madam.
Offa brought bound in a Chair.
Off.
Whither do you hurry me!
If I must answer't give me yet some time,
To make provision of befitting Presents,
To supply the hard hands of my stern Judges,
Into a tender feeling of my cause:
I know what
Eacus loves, what
Min
[...] likes,
And what will make grave
Radam
[...]thus run.
Anth.
He is distracted.
Arn.
Yes, and speaks hainous things
Against himself, both of my Lords murder,
And an intended rape against his Sister.
Anth.
Incestuous monster!
Off.
Hark, how the Divel lies;
I have no Sister.
Ed.
How he's possess'd
Of that strange error? I must satisfie you;
That was meerly feign'd by me to save her honour
[Page]
From his outragious lust.
Arn.
But here comes that
Clears all at once.
Welcome my honour'd Lords.
(Enter Segebert, Alberto, Jeff, Outlaw.)
Jeff.
A boon, a boon, my gratious Liege.
Arn
Hold your peace fool.
Seg.
My Son
Anthynus living?
Osr.
You are my Father in your Daughters-right.
Seg.
My blessing on my Girle.
Osr.
But see
Anthynus at a greater height.
Anth.
My Father.
Bert.
And my Father noble Sir.
Your pardon, and for ever welcome.
Seg.
If this were real now, and not a Dream!
Jeff.
Come, leave your fooling, hear a wise man speak:
Great King according unto thy behest
With Knights adventurers I went in quest,
Through the Woods and Forrests wild
To scoure the Dens of Outlaws vild;
Whence these old men, this Knave I bring
Together with this Starveling;
Whom I present not dead, but quick
Unto thy grace King
Osriick.
Arn.
Look this way fool,
This is King
Osriick man.
Jeff.
Whose fool am I then?
Osr.
Mine.
Mild.
And mine.
Anth.
Mine.
Bert.
And mine.
Jeff.
Whoop, hold a little, best let me be every bodies fool
Round about the house.
But amongst you all, let me not lose reward;
I must not fool for nought; the times are hard.
Osr.
Still the fool's covetous.
Bert.
I ow thee a just reward, for I proclaim'd
To him that brought this man alive or dead
A thousand crowns; but since
[...] so fortunate
To bring him home alive and well recover'd
Out of such danger—
Jeff.
I shall have nothing shall I?
Bert.
I'l double thy reward, give thee two thousand crows.
Jeff.
It is enough in conscience; who bids more?
For till you are out-bidden, I'l be your fool.
But can you tell whose Favourite you are then?
Theodr
Where I was first, I'l ever wish to be.
Osr.
And I'l be thine
Theodrick; for thou in this
Hast above favour shewn me unto blisse.
Seg.
I have perform'd your Majesties command,
Though not in sending, yet in bringing home
My banish'd friend, Lord
Alberto, the preserver
Of my now happy life.
Bert.
It shall be to his honour; welcome
Alberto.
Outl.
Oh what an heavenly smell of meat is here!
Seg.
All the unhappiness I now can see
Is but an argument of tears for thee,
In whom I'm justly punish'd.
Anth.
Take him hence
From my grieved fathers sight.
Seg.
And pray let care
Be had for his recovery; his senses may
Bring a new soul into him, for which I pray.
Off.
What am I freed?
Arn.
Yes, yes, my Lord, all's well.
Off.
I knew my bribes would do it.
Jeff.
I'l off with him, for 'tis unknown to you
What good a fool may on a mad man do.
Ex. Arn. Offa, Jeffrey.
Seg.
This sword was evidence enough against him;
But here's one of the Outlaws that confess'd it;
[Page]
For whom, since he is penitent, I beg pardon.
Mild.
The other two his fellows are both extant:
For whom together with three theevish workmen
That were strong instruments in my delivery,
Let me beg mercy.
Anth.
I have heard of them that robb'd my brothers Jewel-house.
'Tis a day of grace,
And we are taught by heavens abundant mercy
Shewn upon us beyond our expectation,
To imitate that goodnesse.
Bert.
I forgive
All on my part.
Osr.
I pardon all on mine.
Bert.
And now right royal Sir, let me entreat
For former love, to make our last compleat,
You will be pleas'd a month with us to stay
In triumphs to commemorate this day.
Osr.
Next to my sum of happinesse my Bride,
I should have sought that honour, royal Sister.
Anth.
Thus through tempestuous sighs and showres of tears
Joy at the last more cheerfully appears.
Exeunt.