THE BOOK OF Pretty Conceits, &c.
To make an Herb grow that shall have many savours and many tasts.
TAke one Seed of Lettice, one of Endive, one of Smallage, one of Basil, one of Leek, one of Parsly, putting them all together in an hole, that they may touch one another; but remember that you plant them together in the dung of an Ox or Horse, without any earth at all with them, amd afterwards these seeds shall grow up in one proper Herb, which will have so many savours and tasts as there are seeds sown.
To make Beans grow in the space of an hour.
Take the Beans and put them in hot Oyl and let them there remain for the space of eleven days, and after dry them, and when you will make proof of them set the Beans, and go to dinner, and by that space of the usual dinner time, that you rise from the Table, go to look on them, you shall find them grown well nigh a span.
How to make yellow Roses grow, and to make trees and other things grow green all the year.
I have been informed, that if you graft a white Rose upon a broom-stalk, or a Furzen bush, that the same will bear yellow Roses, but they will have no sweet scent. Also if you graft a Rose or any other thing upon a Holly-stalk, the leaves of the same will grow green all the Year.
How to make Apples, Pears, and other fruit of several colours, and to give them a dainty taste of Spices.
If you would give a pleasant colour to your Fruit, do thus: for a red, boyl Brasil, Turnfoil, or Sanders; and for a yellow, use Saffron, or Turimerick: now to give them a dainty taste or smell, you must beat Cloves, Mace, Cinamon and Nutmegs to powder, and mix them with the water of your colours with some hony, then with an Augur bore a hole in the biggest part of the tree, unto the middle, something slopeing downwards, and then pour your water and spices into the hole then with a pin made of the same wood or tree, beat it hard into the hole, and saw off the end and wax it about: This must be done in the winter, before the Spring, because [Page]when the Sap ariseth, the colour, scent and laste also ascendeth with the same.
To keep a Tapster from frothing his pots.
Hrovide in readiness the skin of a red herrior, and when the Tapster is absent, do but rub a little on the inside of his pots, and he wist not be able to froth let him do what he can for a good while after.
To break a new big Rope with your hands only.
Take and fasten to one end of the Cord or Rope with a nail driven fast into it, or about strong hook of Iron, & afterw ind the same three or four times or oftner about your hands and the other end of the Rope wind about by the top of the palm, between the fore-finger & the thumb, that one part of the cord may reach into the nail, & the other unto the bottom of the palm, which must be again winded about, and after that winded again once or twice about, this so done, then with a vehement thick or force assay in the same part by which it is so over-winded with the cord, for that the substance of the cord or rope which is under, doth defend that the hand can take no harm of the hasty and strong pull, & take heed that ye overmost with of the Rope fly not in your and. And to conclude, you may conceive this, that in the strong and hasty plucking together, the one fold of the cord doth so cut the [Page]other asunder, and then more chiefly, when that part shall be let loose which is between the hand and the Nail, especially if both the hands be strong, and the pluck outright and quick.
To make a Bladder skip from place to place.
Put Quick-silver into a Bladder, and lay the Bladder in an hot place, and it will skip up and down without handling.
How to make people seem headless.
Break Arsenick very fine, and boyl it with Sulpher in a covered pot, and kindle it with a new candle, and the standers by will seem to be headless.
How to make a glorious Light with a candle in imitation of the Sun-shine.
This conceit is fit for those Artists, or others that perform curious or fine works by Candle-light: as Iewellers, Engravers, or the like, or those which are weak-sighted to read by, never dazling of their eyes. Go to a Glass-house, or Glass-shop, & let them blow you a thin round Globe-glass, bigger than a penny Loaf, (the bigger the better) with a short neck like a bottle, they know how to make them, when you have this glass, with glew or wax bind a tape or pack-thread about the neck or top, and making a little Loop thereabout to hang by: then fill yoru Glass [Page]with the purest Conduit or Spring-water you can get, (putting some Aqua vitae therein to keep it from freezing) stopping it close to keep out the dust; having thus done, if you will use it at a table or bench, knock a Tenter or Nail into the Seiling, or a Shelf, & with your tape or pack-thread fasten it and hang it up, (but a round stick is better to hang it upon, putting it into a post or hole in the wall, that you may let it higher or lower at your pleasure in turning the stick) then behind your glass set a Candle lighted, and you shall have a glorious light through the glass and water for your purpose. Some use to place a sheet of Oyled Paper between them & a Candle, which will cause a good light.
How to lay one end of a staff or stick upon a stool or table, and to hang a Pail full of Water at the other end, having nothing to hold on the stick, nor nothing under the Pail.
To perform this conceit, do thus: lay one end of the staff or stick a pretty way upon the table or stool, so that it roul not off, letting the other end hang over the Table likewise, then take a Pail full of Water, & hang the handle upon the same; but you must have another short stick that will deach just from the inside of the borrom of the Pail, to the long stick on [Page]the rable, plating the short stick under the table very stiff, and then shall the pail of water hang from the ground upon the long staffs end on the table without falling, which will seem very strange, but this is very difficult at first, till you hit just in the center of gravity, but it is by those tha are knowing, familiarly practised.
How to know the hour of the day or night by a Ring and a Glass.
Take a small thread and put it through a gold Ring, or some other like ring, and doubling the thread, tye a pretty big knot at the end, and cut it off, let the double thread be seven or eight inches long, then take a boulglass, and set it on a Table, and hold the knot of the thread somthing hard betwixt the ends of your fore-fingers and your thumb, which will cause the Pulses of your wrist to beat, let the ring hang in the middle of your glass, a little within the rim, then the working of your Pulse will make the Ring to move, striking upon the side of the glass the hour of the day or night, and then the Ring will stand still again.
To know if a sick person shall dye or not.
Take grey Nettles while they be green, & put them in the Patients Vrine, and it they remain green, he shall live, and if they wither, not.
How to make salt water fresh.
Take Clay and put it into a bag, & strain it through till it be clear, and it will be fresh.
How to make two knives (with a short stick) to hang upon the brim of a glass without falling.
Take a little stick some four inches long, and make it warp at one end like a Butchers scure, and then get two Knives, somewhat of an equal poise, & prick the points of them towards the bigger end of the stick, on each side stope wise, then put the small end of the stick upon the brim of the glass of Wine or Beer, and you may take up the glass & drink and they will not fall off.
To kindle a Candle at the sun.
Take a bright Bason, & put a new Looking-glass therein, and set the bason in the hottest of the Sun, and lay about it very dry Two chopped small, and the Two will take fire with the heat of the Sun.
How one may put his finger, or wash his hands in melted Lead, without danger, or burning.
Take an ounce of Quick-silver, two ounces of good Bole-Armoniack, half an ounce of Camphire, and two ounces of Aqua vitae, then mingle them together, and put them into a brazen Morter, and beat them with a Pestil, [Page]having thus done, anoint your hands all over throughly with this Oyntment, & then you may safely put your finger into melted Lead, or you may wash your hands therewith, if one pour the Lead upon them, it will neither scald nor burn them.
How to make a Candle that it cannot be blown out.
Take a quill of Hempstalk, and fill it full of Brimstone, & make it warm, and fire it, and it will never go forth with blowing.
How to keep Sword-blades, Halberts, Pistols, Knives, Edge-tools, and other things free from Rusting, for seven years or more, in a dry house.
Take fish-glew, or Iūng-glass, and cut it in pieces, then with a hammer beat it or bruisae it upon an Anvil or stone, then put it into a little Skillet, or such like, with water, and let it dissolve over a gentle fire, still stirring it as you do your common glew, then when it is well boyled take it off, and with a Pensil or small Hair-brush lay the same while it is hot all over your sword-blade as thin as may be, then ray it to dry & it is done. This thin coat keeping the moistriess of the air from the metal that it cannot rust, but when you are to wear it, or use it, take a blunt Knife, & you may easily scale off the thick substance, [Page]and then it will be as bright as any silver. I do believe that our common glew will do the like, if it be kept in a dry Room.
How to heal the biting of a mad Dog.
Take white Nettles, and the innermost thin skin of a great and angry Onion, with a little running Water and hony, & bath it.
How to know if a woman be with Child, whether it be Male or Female.
Take fair Well-water, and put it into a clean Bason, and let the woman with Child milk a drop or two of her milk into the water and if the milk sink to the bottom, it is a man child, and if it float on the top above the water, it is a woman-child.
To make a flame pass suddenly out of a pot of Water.
Take an Egg and make a hole in the head of it, and draw out all the substance of the same, fill it with powder of Brimstone and unslacked Lime mixt together; then shut the mouth with wax, & let it fall to the bottom of a quart pot full of water, taking your hand suddenly away, and presently a flame will issue out of the pot.
How to harden the white of Eggs into an artificial Gum, fit for many uses.
Separate the whites of Eggs clean from the yolkes, and beat the whites very well into [Page]a clear Oyl of water, and when it is setled, skim off the Froth, then put the same into Bladders, and hang them in a chimney to dry, where fire is usually kept, and in a few days the sume will become as hard as Gum Arabick; in hot weather you may hang your bladders in the Sun to dry: This Gum may be used instead of other Gums, & with it you may varnish Prints, or other things that are wash'd in Colours.
To make one see fearful sights in his sleep.
To do this, take blood of a Lapwing, and anoint therewith the Pulses and the forehead going to rest: And if in the Evening before his going to bed, a man eat a small quantity of Nightshade, or Mandrake, he shall see pleasant sights in his dreams.
To make a Sword, Dagger or Knife, cut Iron as easie as Lead.
If a sword, dagger, or knife, being only Iron, and it is fashioned, being red hot, being quenched in the juice of Radish, mixed with the water of fresh worms, distilled according to Art, being before somewhat bruised; such a sword, dagger, or Knife, will have such a strange edge if it be quenched four or five times in this water, so that you may cut things easily in two with it.
How to cleave a Groat in sunder like two Groats.
Take three small pins, and prick them down upon a board or table, triangular wise, and then take a thin whole Groat, and lay it level on the heads of the three pins: having thus done, take a piece of Brimstone and beat it to powder, covering the groat therewith all over in a pretty thiokness, and then with a lighted piece of paper set the brimstone on fire till it be consumed, when this is done and the fire out, you shall see the edges to open like a dry Oyster, then take a knife and put into it, and it will cleave asunder, having the impression on both sides very perfect.
A ready way to take Pidgeons or any other Wild Fowle.
Take a sheet of brown Paper and cut it into four quarters, then roul it up like a Sugar-loaf & take a small quantity of bird-lime, and lime the inside of it, and strew some Corn therein; then lay them about the place where they usually haunt, in some place where they may hardly be perceived: and when they come and see the Corn, they put their heads in to reach it, by that means they so imprison themselves by the Feathers of their necks, that they fly upright into the Air until they are spent, and then they tumble [Page]down as if they were dead: I have known two or three dozen taken in a morning with these things. Probatum est.
A present Remedy for all inward pains.
Take the seed of Carduus Benedictus, stamp them and drink them in Ale, and it helps pains, pinchings, and stitches of the side, gripings in the guts, or the lower part of the Belly, &c.
A present Remedy for an Ague.
Pare the Nails of any one that is troubled with an Ague, which being, put into a Linnen Cloth, and tyed about the neck of a live Eel, and the same Eel put into the water, then the Ague will leave them.
How to make Hens lay Eggs apace.
To mix Hemp-seed amongst their meat, is an approved way to lay Eggs apace.
An approved way to make the face & hands clear from spots and freckles.
Anoint your Face or hands with the Oyl of Tartar, and it will clear them from all Spots, Freckles, Pimples, &c. probatum est.
A present Remedy for the Cramp.
Taste the little bane in the Knee-joint of the hinder leg of an Hare, and touch the place grieved therewith, and it will immediately take away the pain.
How to stanch bleeding at the Nose.
Take the three-corner'd stone of a Carp, which lies in the hinder part of the head, beat it small, and blow it into the Nose, and it will stay bleeding.
To take Warts from he hands or face.
Take Hens feet, & put them into hot Embers until the scales or skin thereof be separated or shrunk from the leg, then with the same skin while it is warm, rub the Warts four or five times, & it will drive them away.
To take Crows, Magpyes, or other Birds.
Take a piece of Carrion or Bullocks liver and slice it both ways with your knife, that the Crows or Pyes may swallow it with ease then take the powder of Nux Vomica, &rub it well in, and lay it in a place where they haunt, and stand a looff off; and so soon as they have eat a little, they will fly to a Tree, but it will make them so drunk, that they will tumble down, and then you may take them with your hands, but you must be quick, for they will recover again presently.
To make a hollow Ring dance by it self.
Take a Ring which is hollow round about into which put quick-silver, and stop the same that it run not forth, afterwards hear the Ring somewhat in the fire, and being hot, lay the same on the Table or Stool, which by [Page]and by after will begin to dance of it self till it be cool again.
How to make a Light, that things shall appear black or green.
Take the black juice of a Fish called a Cuttle, and the like quantity of Verdigrease, mix them well together, putting the same into a Lamp, and dipping the Wick into the liquor then light the same, putting out all the lights in the Room, and all the things, though never so white, will appear black and green.
How to draw many Candles one after another being laid at a foot distance.
Take Brimstone, Orpiment, and Oyl labour these together, and make thereof an Oyntment; after take so many Candles as may well serve for your Table, laying them a large foot asunder, and all a row, the one behind the other, as many as you please, lay them straight, then take a long thread and anoint it in this Oyntment, which afterwards you must lay along on the Candles, and drawing the formost all the rest will follow in order.
A Remedy for the Jaundies in sheep.
The stale Vrine of a man taken inwardly is accounted the best Remedy.
How to keep Goats from straying.
Cut off the beards of your Goats, & the will not go far from home.
To take Fish by night.
Take a Lanthorn of Glass, and put a burning Candle in it, & set the Lanthorn on the water, and the Fish will come to the light. Or else take Nettles and Housleek, & make juice thereof, and put it into a pond, and all the Fishes will gather thither, & if your hands be anointed therewith, you may at your pleasure take them.
To prove if a Maiden be clear.
Burn Mother-wort, and let her take the smoak at her Nose, and if she be corrupt, she shall piss, or else not. Otherwise take grey Nettles whilst that they be green, and then let her piss on them, & if she be no Maiden they will wither forthwith, or else not.
To write a Letter with such Ink as cannot be perceived unless you hold it before the Fire.
Take a sheet of fair white Paper, & write thereon with the juice of a red Onion well mixed or tempered with the white of an egg and then dry it well: and then it cannot be perceived to be any other than plain white Paper, without any writing on it: but if you hold it betwixt you and the fire, you may the more easily read it, and perfectly see the Letters or contents thereof.
Another way to write Letters that cannot be read, but in this sort.
Take Allum, and beat it into fine powder, and then put, it into fair water, and whatsoever you write therewith, neither that writing nor Letters will appear, except you put the said paper in water, and then you may read it perfectly.
An easie way to take Eeles.
Take new Hay that is sweet, and make a Bottle thereof, and as you make it up, shake upon it some new Calves blood, with the Liver shred therein; and for want of Calves blood take the blood of a Bull, Ox, or Cow, with the Liver, as aforesaid; and then bind up your bottle as hard as you can with some Ropes of the same. Hay, and cast it into a River or Pond where Eeles are, so tye it to a cord to pull it up at your own pleasure again. Note, the chiefest time for the taking of Eels & other running fish, is at the dark of the Moon, in the beginning of May, at the shooting of Oats, & in the Months of September & October, when all waters turn white after a flood. And for want of hay take Osiers, & seeth them in blood, as aforesaid, & make your purpose therewith.
How to make flesh cleave to the pot.
Take Dwell or Night-shade, & stamp it [Page]well, and put it in the por with meat, & the Meat will cleave together.
To take Birds alive.
Take Pease, and steep them in Wine-lees, and in the juice of the Herb Benner & Hemlock, and then cast them to the Birds; and as many as do ear thereof will be so amazed that they cannot fly away.
To see by night as by day.
Anoint your eyes with the blood of a bat.
A ready and easie way to try if a Maid be a pure Virgin or not.
Take Roots of red Nettles, & stamp them small, and mix the juice thereof with Ale, and let her drink thereof, and if it do remain with her, then she is a Maid, otherwise she is not.
To throw a piece of mony into a deep Pond, and to fetch it again when you please.
In this you must work by private confederacy, by making something like to a shilling, or any other thing that is of seeming worth, having another about you like it, then throw it into a pond, & having hid a shilling before in some secret place, bid one go presently and fetch it our of the Pond, you having thrown it close by the shore, making them believe that it is the same that you threw into the Pond; [Page]which upon such an account none will be so foolish as to trouble themselves to look for it.
How to make Eggs dance upon a staff.
Provide you a good thick Staff about two yards long, three parts whereof ought to be made Scoop wise, or half hollow like a basting Ladle, at the end of the Scoop must be made a hole, & therein put a broad pin about the length of an Egg, this being done, rest the handle of this staff against your thigh, & hold it with your right hand near to the begining of the Scoop, lay an Egg then into the scoop of the staff now up, so the Egg will tumble from one end of the scoop to the other, and not fall out. After the same fashion you may make two or three Eggs tumble one after another.
To cut a Lace asunder in the midst, and to make it whole again.
Provide a piece of Lace, which you mean to cut, or at least a pattern like the same one inch and a half long, and keeping it double privily in your left hand between some of your fingers rent to the top thereof, & putting your own piece a little before the other, (the end or rather the middle whereof you must hide betwixt your fore-finger and thumb) making that which shall be seen of your pattern; let some stander-by cut the same asunder, and it [Page]will be surely thought that the other Lace is cut asunder, which with words and rubbing and chasing it, shall seem to be made whole again; which if it be well handled, will seem wondrous strange.
To make men seem dead.
Take Aqua Compostra, and mingle it with Salt, and fire it in the night, putting all other lights out, and the standers-by will seem as dead.
A pleasant Conceit, being a ready and sure way to catch a Pick-pocket.
A Gentleman being in a Throng in the Fair, had his purse pick'd out of his Pocket; he missing it, (as you could not blame him) was somewhat vext, but for the present could not help himself, but was not without handsome resolution to be revenged: To which purpose he bought two penny-worth of Fishhooks, and caused a taylor to sew them round about toward the upper part of his pockets, with the pooints of them downwards, and so the next day away he goes to the Fair again amongst the Throng, throwing his Cloak on one shoulder, seeming careless of his pockets wherein he had store of money: presently there was a Diver nibling at his Pockets: The Gentleman being wary, (perceived that the Fish had swallowed the hook) gave a jeck aside, [Page]which caused the Hooks to catch hold of the Divers hand, and when he had him sure, he said, Fellow, what maketh thy hand in my Pocket? O good Sir, (replyed the Pickpocket) pardon me, I cannot pull it out: Come (saith the Gentleman softly to him, because no body should take notice) go along with me: so together they marched with his hand fast in the Pocket, (but covered with his Cloak) and to a Tavern lovingly they went together, where the Gentleman told him of the loss he had sustained the day before, and making of him to restore back his Mony: He cut out his Pocket and gave him his paw again. Surely this Pick-pocket had good store of picking work to get out those hooks before he could angle again.
How to make a Cup of Glass not to burn being set in a fire.
Take any Vessel of Glass and boyl it for the space of five houres in common Oyl, and after take it forth, and it will be then made so strong, that the said Glass shall endure the hjeat of the fire.
How a Man shall not be weary of going.
Drink the juice of Mugwort, and bear the Herb it self about you, with the Herbs Pedelion and Crowfoot.
To cause a Dog to cease banking.
Take a Dogs tongue, & lay it under your great Toe, within your shooe, and the Dog will cease barking as long as you wear the same.
How to put one tester in the one hand and the other in the other, and by words to bring them together.
He that hath once attained to the facility of holding a piece of mony in his right-hand, may shew a hundred conceits by that means. Thus you may seem to put one plece in your left hand, and retaining it still in your right hand, you may together therewithal take up another like piece, and so with words seem to bring both pieces together.
How to put an Egg into a Vial: Or to draw it through a Ring.
Stéep the Egg two days and two nights in Vinegar, & then roul it on a table softly, and it will stretch as you please, and then you may put it into a Vial, or through a Ring.
How to make a glass of water seem to boyl.
Take a glass near full of Water, and setting one hand upon the foot of it, hold it fast; then turn slightly one of your fingers of your other hand upon the brim or edge of the glass [Page]having before privately wet your finger, and so passing on softly with your finger in pressing a little; so the water will seem to boyl, and leap over the Glass by drops.
How to thrust a Bodkin through your tongue, or a Knife through your arm.
Make a Bodkin, the blade whereof being parted in the middle so as the one part be not neer to the other by three quarters of an inch each part being kept asunder-with a crooked piece of Iron, then thrust your tongue betwixt the aforesaid space, thrusting the crooked piece of Iron behind your Teeth, biting the same, and it will seem to stick so fast in and through your tongue, that it will be hard to pull it out.