How Iack and the Taylor lay together, and how Iack one morning was found set on stride a great high beam in the Chamber, and the Taylor found dead in his Bed, with his Neck broke.

THis Knight where Iack lived kept a poor Taylor in the house, with whom they lodged the Fool.

One morning they wondred that the [Page]Taylor nor Iack did not come down, one of the Servants went up, and find­ing the Chamber-door fast, he called to them, but Iack only answered him; and not coming to the door the servant ran down stairs again and called others of his fellows to go with him to see what the matter was, who breaking open the door, they found the Taylor dead in his Bed, with his neck broke, and the fool set astride upon a high beam where he could not come without help; they were much surprized, and asked Iack how this came to pass? The D [...]vil, says Iack, did come up stairs, Clink, Clink, Clink, and opened our Cham­ber door, and came to my side; and I cry d, good Devil don't take me, take the Taylor, so the Devil went to the Taylor, and broke his Neck, and set me upon the beam. This was strictly ex­amined by several Iustices, and after­wards by the Bench at Chelmsford, but adding or diminishing; and so continu­ed till his dying day, and was never concerned at his Examination.

How Iack was accused by a Wench to be t [...]e father of her Bastard.

A Winch being got with Child and not well knowing who was the Father of it, she being had before a Iu­stice of Peace and Examined, she said it to John Frank, so poor Jack was sent for, the Iustice asking him if he was the Father of that Wenches Child? The fool was so innocent that he knew not the meaning thereof, but stood sta­ring and laughing, shaking one or other by the Hand that stood by.

The Iustice then said unto him, Are you Guilty or not Guilty Jack? I gu [...]ld­ed saith Jack; guilded all the Country over: the Iustice perceiving the poor Soul did not understand his Examina­tion, said to the Wench, Hosewife, you must seek another father for your Child; So taking order for her punishment, Jack was freed and went laughing a­way; and also all the Company.

HOw Jack deceived a sexton, and got in­to a Church to Preach.

EVery one was willing to humour this Fool, and one day Jack had a mind, to be fine, and he desired a Ser­vant who had a Sute to spare, to lend him a black Sute and Cloak; the man smiling, said unto him, what would you do with it, Sirrah? I must go and preach says Jack. The servant having a great mind to see what the Fool would do, consented to it: So Jack's Calve skin Sute was plucked off and the black one put on, with Stockings, Shooes, Band, Hat, Cloak and Gloves, all very suitable, his Hands and Face being washed clean, and his Head c [...]mb [...]d he looked not like a Fool at all: when he was thus accoutred, the Servants asked him what he would do? I will go to Preach, saith he; they not believing that the Fool would attempt such a thing, but that it was some idle fancy, which he had many, gave him leave to go alone in­to the Park, and would not go with him for fear of spoyling the sport, i­magining that they should hear by one or other some pritty Iest of him: But Jack was too cunning for them [Page]all, and got him indeed to a Vil­lage about six miles off, and enquired for the Sextons House, which when he had found, he knocked at the door, the Sexton himself chancing to come to open the door, and seeing as he thought a Minister, did make him a low reve­rence: Art thou the Sexton; saith Iack? Yes, Sir, saith the Sexton, prithee open the Church door said Iack, and toll the Bell, for I must preach here this after­noon; I will, Sir, said the Sexton: so the poor man not perceiving who he was, went presently and opened the Church door (Iack sollowing him) the people haring the Bell toll, came to the Sex­ton to know what the matter was, Iack sitting soberly in the Desk, with the great books before him: That Gentle­man, said the Sexton, is to preach this afternoon. With that the people made hast to the Church, and when Iack saw a good number of them, he pluckt, off his Hat, and turned over the Leaves first of one book, and then the other, for a little space, and then gets him up in­to the Pulpit very devoutly, and kneels down as though he would pray, the people wondring all this while that the Parson did not read nor pray while [Page]he was in the Desk, they fixed their eyes upon him, and gave attention to him, what they should hear from the Pulpit. Iack as he kneeled, mumbled to himself, and lifted up his eyes, still waiting to hear the Hrayer: Iack rises up, & having a Common-prayer-book in his hand, he opens it, and turning over the leades, he speaks thus to them: Beloved, saith he, my Text is in the four and fortieth Chapter of St. Iohn and the hundred Verse: then shutting the book again, he begins to preach, as he call'd it, speaking such gibberish and nonsense as did amaze the people: some turned over the leaves of their books backward and forward to find the Cext, others listned to hear what he said, some thought that he had spoken Latin & Greek, that they could not un­derstand; thus for a little time they ex­pected, but at length they found them­selves deceived, and that it was the Fool, which all had known but for his black Cloaths. So they went all home much ashamed to see themselves be­guiled by a Fool: Iack was very proud that he had preach'd, and went to his Masters House, where every one was joy'd, for they wondred what was be­come [Page]of him, but when they heard what he had done, they laughed heartily.

How Iack deceived Mr. Sorrel, a Rich Yeoman of Pudings and Links, which hung up in the Chimney.

JACK was often upon the ramble, and one day he went to this Yeomans House, who loved much to make sport with him: the Servants being all bu­sie, some in the Barn, and some abroad among the Cattel, there was none but he and the Fool all alone. Mr. Sorrel says Jack, shall us play at Blindmans-buff; ay saith he, with all my heart, Jack, you shall be blinded, says Jack, that I will, Jack, saith he; so pinning a Nap­kin about his Head and Eyes, now turn about says Jack; but you see Mr. Sorrel, you see no good faith Jack, saith he, I do not see: Jack shuffled up and down the Ritchin also for to catch him, and still cry'd, you see Mr. Sorrel, you see; but when the Fool perceived indeed that he did not see, he went to the Chimney, and whipt down some of the Puddings into his Pockets, and so he did full as he came to that end of the room, till he had filled both his Pock­ets and Breeches with them, which [Page]was soon done, though they were large, for he was very quick. The doors being open, Jack runs away so fast as he could, leaving the good man blinded, who wondring that he did not hear the Fool, cryed out, Jack, Jack, but finding no answer, he pull'd off the Napkin, and saw the Fool was gone, & that he had taken many of his Links and Puddings with him, he was so en­raged, that he sent his Blood-Hound after him, which when Iack did per­ceive that the Dog came after him, he took a Pudding and flung to the Dog: the Dog smelling to the Pudding, Iack gained ground the while and still as the Dog followed him he threw a pud­ding back, and so he did till he had got into a House.

This was soon spread abroad to the great shame and vexation of the honest man, that he could not endure to hear of it.

It fortun'd long time after that Mr. Sorrel among other Tenants did go to pay his duty and respects to the Lord where Iack then lived: Iack espying him, went up and told his Lady, that Mr. Sorrel was come: the Lady being afraid that the Fool should offend him [Page]by speaking of the Puddings, threat­ning him saying, Sirrah, if you speak one word of the Pudding, you shall be Whipt: No says Iack, I will not.

But when the Lord and Lady was at Dinner; and Mr. Sorrel and the rest with them, Iack goes to Mr. Sorrel, & shakes him by the hand, saying, how do you do Mr. Sorrel, how do you? then whisper­ing as it were to him, but so loud that all the company did hear him; Mr. Sorrel, says Jack, not a word of the Pud­ding, Mr. Sorrel; at which they all could not forbear laughing, but the good man was so much ashamed, that the company were sorry to see, and ne­ver came there no more. Ever since it is a by word to say (not a word of the Pudding.)

How Iack served a Gentleman who had a great Nose.

THere was a Gentleman who came often to this Lords Table, who had a very great Nose, which every one took notice of, and in his absence would speak of him: Jack hearing them he would also be talking of the great nose.

Now fearing lest he should speak of it at any time to the Gentleman, he [Page]was soundly chidden for prating, so that they thought he would not dare to men­tion it any more. But one day this Gentleman being there at Dinuer, Iack stands by him (and peeping in his face) calls to the Lord and Lady, saying, do you hear my Lord? do you hear Madam? do you see this Gentleman here, he has no nose at all: at which every one laughed heartily, but the Gentleman was much ashamed.

How Iack hired a Servant to dwell with him.

JACK having borrowed a Scarlet Cloak, a fine laced Band, and a good Hat, he puts them on, throwing his Cloak over one shoulder, so that it quite hid his Calve-skins, and goes into the Park, where many people pas­sed thorow upon sufferance, and there Iack walks up and down very proud­ly. There comes a poor man to him begging (thinking he had been some brave Gentleman) I will give you nothing, says Iack, why don't you go to work; so I would, Sir, saith the poor man, if I could get any; why do you not go to Service, saith Iack? If it please you, Sir, I cannot tell where [Page]to get a Service, what can you do, saith Iack? I can do any thing, an­swered the man, can you pump Wa­ter, and carry Wood, and wash Bucks, says Iack: Yes, Sir, says the beggar, that's well, says Iack, what Wages must I give you? what you please Sir, said the beggar: then said Iack, I'le give you three pound a year, I thank your Worship, said he; Come home with me, said the Fool; so Iack, comes home to his Lords house, the Man follows him, and there he sets him down in the Porch, and asks the Man divers Questions; at last comes the Lords steward, and hearing Iack call to the Man, and ordering him his business stands a while to hear, then steps to Iack, saying, What now Iack, have you hired a servant this Morn­ing? yes, says the Fool, shaking his Ears and laughing; the poor man then perceiving that he was deceived, he did not know which way to look; but how­ever, though he were mistaken in his Master, yet he obtained a bountiful Alms from the Lord, who with the rest of the Family were dery much pleas'd with the conceit of the Fool.

How Iack complained of Mary Dover, she would not make him clean, when ha­ving taken Physick, he had bewrayed him­self.

THere was also in this Lords House a Woman Fool, whose name was Mary Dover, and she was imployed by e­very one to do all the meanest Offices. Jack had always a delinght to take all or any kind of Physick he could get; one of the Family had one day given him a Purge to take, his Wife (as he did call her) being the Landry Maid, called him to his usual work to beat the buck, poor Jack pull'd off his Doublet, as at other times, and stood beating the Linnen till he bewrayed himself, so that it ran down to his Heels: the Fool finding his breech­es ad stackings in such a case, fell a cry­ing aloud, and stamping for Mary Dover, to make him clean, but she refusing to do it, he comes crying into the Parlor, in this shitten condition, where his Lady sat at Supper, complaining to her, that he had taken Physick, and Mary Dover would not make him clean; the Lady with the rest of the company could not sit at the Table for the stink, yet could [Page]not forbear laughing to see him so fur­prized, and crying so grievously, but his presence at that time not to be endured, she commanded one of the Servants to le [...]d him forth the room, and to cause Mary Dover to do that office, for none else would clean him; and then he came in again and made very good sport. The poor Fool being very hungry after his physick, every one gave him some meat, which he d d eat so greedily as though he would choak himself: they ever and a­non would ask him questions, and his mouth was so full he could not speak, and his Chaps so greasie, as if they had been in a dripping pan: When he had eaten pretty well, he wanted so [...]e drink, which was given him, good Ale; and t [...]en Jack's tongue began to run freely, making many pr [...]tty Iests by chance, for he could not do it otherwise.

How Iack in his rambles went into an Inn at Witsford-Bridge, and [...]ow he ser­ved the people of the House.

JAck having rambled about till he was very hungry, went into an Inn at Witsford-Bridge, and asked his host what he should have for his Supper? the Hust knew that he was such a Lords [Page]Fool, thought he had money, offered him a good. Breast of Mutton, which was then ready roasted, of which Jack was very glad, for he loved fat meat very well, so a Napkin being laid, and bread and drink brought, he sat down soverly, to cat and drink. And when he had eat­en all, he asked what was to pay: they told him two and twenty pence for meat bread and drink: well, said he (pulling out two b [...]ass farthings) here, saith he, pay your self, & give me th [...] rest again, they laughing asking him for more mo­ney, but he told them he had no more; nor indeed he had not, nor did he know brass from gold or silver, so they let him go quietly.

How Iack served a Justice of Peace that jested with him.

A Iustice of Peace being one day at this Lords Table, who loved to jest with every one; Jack being in the room to make sport and having then a new Calves skin suit on, red and white spot­ted, & a young puppy in his arms, much of the same colour of his suit, said to the Iustice, jogging him; is not this puppy like me; the Iustice turns him aside to Jack, saying, Jack, it is very li [...]e thee; now [Page]there is, puppies Jack, ha, ha, ha, saith Jack, and so he goes with his puppy diwn stairs, for he could not eat while that was under his arm; presently af­ter he came again inbto the dining room, and knocking the Iustice on the back with his fist, the Iustice turning him a­bout to Jack, looked a little angry? how is it Iustice, says Jack, are you angry? shake hands and be friends, the Iustice gave him his hand, which Jack shaked with both his hands, saying aloud and laughing. now thee is two fools, Iu­stice two fools, two fools, at which they all laught heartily, to fee this great wit affronted by a fool, especially one Gen­tleman of quality, who but a few mi­nutes before this Iustice had abused by Jesting; for he was of that temper that he would Iest, but never take none.

Here follows many pritty Sayings and Jests of Iack, which are very witty and worth observing.

JAck's Lord and Lady going forth one day in the Coach, Jack had obtained the favour to run by the Coach side, and upon the way they met another Lords [Page]Coach, whose Gentleman riding by the Coach, and seeing Jack, puts off his Hat in derision, and bows himself, say­ing, I pray whose Fool are you? The Fool-presently pulls off his Calve-skin Cap, and shakes his Ears, saying, I am my Lord M's Fool: pray whose Fool are you: The Gentleman being thus answered was much ashamed, and rode away, and Jack went his way.

Jack standing by one time where some Gentlemen were talking, and hearing 'em talk of Round-heads, Round-heads said Jack to himself, ay, Jack, said one of them, what is a round-head? (now this Gentleman who askt him was a round­head, bat would not be thought one) what's a round-head, says Jack a round­head is one that has no with at all; give me your hand, Sir, says Jack; the Gen­tleman did so, ha, ha, ha, and shaked it, saying, there I mumpt you: the rest laughed, he laughed, though he were vexed.

One Night his Lady being at Sup­per, Jack came into the room, bawling aloud, that he could not get the Coach­man to buy him a Chamber-pot: Ma­dam, saith he, the Coach-man wont buy me a pot, and I am tain to rise in the [Page]night, to make water in the yard, In my shirt, and I have got a Cough must I not have some Sugar-Candy Madam: the Lady laughed to think how seasona­ble he was in his request, but gave order to the Coach-man to buy him what he wanted.

In the time of the Ladies Lying-Inn, Iack found that he carried up more wood than at other times to the Chamber door, he having his Arms full of wood, throws it down, making a great noise therewith, saying to himself aloud, Pox take my Lady, I think she burns more wood then her body is worth.

One time Iack coming late to dinner in the Hall, and seein there was no room for him at the table, he runs forth, and comes presently in again, saying, do you hear sirs, the King is come into the back yard, with his Coach and six Horses, and a great many men; they not knowing what to think, ran all out to see; in the mean time Iack sets him down and carves for himself, they co­ming into the yard could see no body there, but laughed to think how the Fool had out-witted them.

He being asked one day what would become of him when he was dead, I [Page]shall lye in the ground, saith he, till Gods Trumpet sounds, and then shall I rise again and go into Heaven. I, but what will you say said one to him, when Gods Trumpet sounds to call you be­fore him? he answered, God will not re­quire more then he hath given me: which words so unexpected, did much a­meze all that heard him.

He was duly morning and evening at prayers in the Chappel, though he had no understa [...]d [...]ng, and every night in his Chamber, he would pray thus by himself.

Lord, said he, thou knawest I can do nothing of my self, Lord thou knowest I can do nothing; Lord have mercy up­on me, and help me.

He lived till about foursco [...]e years, and died in a K [...]ights house in E [...]field-Parish swhere he was handsomely bu­ried, and that knew him being very sory for his death (poor innocent soul) who did no evil, than by evil examples.

There might be more said of him, but that may serve for a second part [...] these Stories I hope will be the more plea­ing, because they are true.