ARTICLES OF High Treason, MADE And Enacted by the late Half-Quarter Usurping Convention: And now presented to publick view, for general satisfaction of all True ENGLISH-Men; With a Petition or Remonstrance from the Shentlemen of WALES, to their cood Worships; and a Supplement to the New Letany for these times. With the FRENCH Dancing-Masters speech, All-a-mode-de-France.
Together with Trotters Journy-man on his Amble to the Gallows; And his Arraignment and Confession, before the time of his Execution.
Imprinted for Erasmus Thorowgood, and are to sold at the signe of the ROASTED RUMP, near the Western Barge, a little above Strand-Bridge
Trotters Journy-man On his Amble to the GALLOWS: OR, The Confession of J. M. before his Execution.
I Confess to have been brought up under a Trotter, but being taken from thence by my Rider, Tichburn, and put into the Tramels of Rebellion, I soon took a very good pace, and ever since have stept at such a distance, that I presume, none scruple my interfearing, being easie to have driven a Wheelbarrow betwixt my Leggs, when I struted in the head of my Regiment: Soone report that being in the Tower I [Page 4]should steal Kin Henry's Pin Cushion, and for its safer conveyance slipt it under my Twist, which occasioned my Pelantick Guard, but to that assent not, to warn those pretty pieces of good luck which attended me: Since I dropt into the House Office at Mr. Pettits, be pleased to know I was made a Captain of Horse before I was a Souldier; I being to exercise my Troop with Bedstaffs in my Houlsters, my word of Command, was, Stand to your Armes Gentlemen; by which, the nimbler Puppits then in motion, thought me more fit to be Colonel of Foot; of which I no sooner heard, but hasted to my Glass to salute my selfe with the Title of Most Noble Colonel, and there began to Ape, as I thought the becoming posture of my new created Honour, by which I am now become so Ridiculous; and some dispute whether the substance was in me or my likeness, the one being shadow, the other a vapour; but to proceed how busie I was in the displying of, or rather Dancing my men, I have cause to remember, having taught one of them to handle his Armes so well, that he made me a while after unable to lift mine to my Head: I had added to this the Honour of being a Militia man if you please, a Malicious man and returning from thence somewhat late, I found a person who beleiving me to be an Officer of the R V M P, was Shiting at my Door, but I made him know I belonged to the Committee of Danger, though I committed him to Safety: Who upon Examination confest his design of blowing open my Doors, and to have forced away [Page 5]my Silver Head-Peice, and my beloved Glass, in which I first saw my self a Colonel. There are some, who have added to my Title, Colonel Shallow Brains, but had they fathomed my depth when I Marched into Cornhil (with my Brother Hewson) they would have waved it; for it might have been observable how I Guarded the Blind Side, leaving the Single Eye, as a Butt to any Marksman: In hopes it being out, I might at last supply the place of a Dogg and Bell to begg the charity of the GENTLE CRAFT: But alass, Fortune doth not alwayes favour fools, for though now my case be all turd, yet my shitten luck hath its period. I now lament my unpudent intruding the Common-Council, for which I was shamefully turned out, where each man very readily lent me his Foot to help me out of the Croud. I now bewail my playing the Changling, in going to the Exchange, and thrusting my betters from the Wall, for now, alass I cannot walk quiet in the Channels, the lesser Boys being readie to Piss upon me: But what grieves me mo [...]t is, I am like to be deprived of the Office of Tichbourns Cash-Keeper, from which I have sucked more sweetness then ever he did from the Christers of Canaans Grapes, by the loss of which, I shall be no longer able to proffer the Merchants readie Money, and then those that led me out of their Warehouses then, will kick me out now: But I do but wait till my Brother Hewson is cut down from the Gibbet, and then I shall save them that labour.
In the next place, we shall present you with the new Articles of Treason made and Enacted by the Airy Notions of a destructive Convention to the Peace of the Commonwealth.
WHereas it concerns us, who have taken upon us to succeed the 30 Tyrants of Athens, in the monstrousness of their fame; And whereas there are millions that care not a Figg for us, we have thought it expedient, for certain good Old Reasons, to chatk at these our new Commandements and Treasonable Articles; that is to say, whoever yieldeth not an exact obedience to a Half-quarter RƲMP-MAN, in Thought, Word, and Deed, shall be guilty of High Treason. Whoever shall see a Half-quarter man salute his Wife, and thereupon grows Yellow, shall be committed to the Black-rod. Whoever shall demand any Crown Lands from him that hath purchased it, shall be Guilty of High Treason, and suffer as the Marquess of Montross did, though not deserving.
During the time of this Convention, a Petition was presented in the name of sundry Welsh-Farmers; as also a Speech made by a French Dancing-master; the Copies whereof followeth.
To the reeght Honoraple, &c. The humble Pettishon of sundry Shentlemen of Wales:
THat whereas there were sundry fery creat Repells in our famous Countres of Wales, who did rise hup in repellion against your Worsips, and would have killed and slain all your cood worsips: And the Ringleater of these pase repells was a fery creat Shentilman [Page 7]of Wales, a man of creat power, and of a fery creat estate, py name Sir Hugh Middleton, and whereas we so understand that you are coing apout to sell all his fery creat meanes;
Ma it therefore plese your worsips, if you will sell such cood peniworth, as your cood worsips formerly have done, as tere is no doubt, put your cood worsips must be forced to do, to let your Pettishoners have a cood pargain as soon as another, for py Cods plutre nails we pe Shentilmen of Wales, and will pay fery honestly, and pesides we shall be ever bound to pray, &c.
BEgar me no speak a si bon Engliss comme vous, but me make a de shift for to speak a de leetle, pour make a you ave a de some understanding of mine affairs. Begar Monsieur, mine affairs be de plus important affairs in all de varle, begar and dat is mush, you'l say. Begar me play ode leetle Fidele me teash a to daunce, o so rare, so rare; begar you no ave a so brave fellow in all England besides me self. Begar your autre Maistress dey teach make Leg like a de Bear, or like a de Hoarse; begar all me Scolars be all de compagnie for a Prince, au de Princess: but begar dit is nothing to dat I kenow, for begar me can reach all de People to daunce after mine peep. Begar if you will donne moyl Argent, me give you dis peepe, and me teach a you to make a de People daunce after your peepe, begar the people all follow your peepe, comme de au de stone follow after de Poete Orfus. Par mafoy n'aucum autre man in de varle offre so greate advantage to any Prince in de varle. Begar [Page 8]if you make a de refuser, me go a presentemant to Monsieur de King of o de Swedes, au me goe to monsieur de King de Denmark, me varrant you me live a deer in de plus great fame in de varle.
In fine, here followes a Supplement to the New Letany of these times, viz.
Quaesumus te, &c.
Quaesumus te, &c.
Quaesumus te, &c.
Quaesumus te, &c.
Quaesumus te, &c.