HOnest Crier, I know thou knewest old Father christmas; I am sent to thee from an honest scholl [...] [...]f Oxford (that hath given me many a hug and kisst in Christmas time when we have been merry) to cry Christ­mas, for they hear that he is gone from hence, and that we have lost the poor old man; you know what marks he hath, and how to cry him.

Who shalll pay me for my paines?

Your old friend Mr. Woodcock of Oxford, wilt thou take his word?

I will cry him I warrant you, through the Citie and Countrie, and it shall go hard but I will finde him out; I can partly ghesse who can tell some newes of him, if any people in England can, for I am acquainted with all his f [...]miliar friends: Trust me in this businesse, I will bring you word within few dayes.

H o o o o o o o yes, ho-o e-o o o yes, ho o o o o o o yes;

Any man or woman, whether Popish or Prelaticall, Su­perstitious or Judaicall, Ignorant or J [...]suiticall, or what per­son s [...]ever, of any Tribe or Trullibub; that can give any knowledge, or tell any tidings of an old, old, old, very old, gray bearded Gentleman, called Christmas; who was wont to be a verie familiar ghest, and visite all sorts of people both poor and rich, and used to appear in glittering gold silk qand silver in the Court, and in all shapes in the Theater in White-hall, and had ringing, feasts, and jollitie in all pla­ces, both in the Citie and Countrie for his comming; if you went to the Temple, you might have found him there at In and In, till many a Gentleman had outed all the mony from his pocket, and after all, the Butlers found him locked up in their Boxes: And in almost every house, you might have found him at Cards and Dice, the very boyes and chil­dren could have traced him, and the Beggers have followed him from place to place, and seen him walking up and [Page 3]downe; and in every house roast Brefe and Mutton, Pies and Plumporrige, and all manner of delicates round about him, and every one saluting merry Christmas; if you had gone to the Queenes Chappel, you might have found him stand­ing against the wall; and the Papists weeping, and beating themselves before him, and kissing his hoary head with su­perstitious teares, in a theater exceeding all he playes of the red Bull, the Forture, or the Cockpit.

For age, this hoarie headed man was of great yeares, and as white as snow, he entred the Romish Kallender time out of mind [...], as old or very neer, as Father Mathusalem was, one that looked fresh in the Bishops time, though their fall made him pine away ever since; he was full, and fat as any dume Docter, on them all, he looked under the consecrated Laune sleeves as big as Bul-beefe, just like Bacchus upon a tunne of wine, when the grapes hang shaking about his eares; but since the catholike liquor is taken from him, he is much wasted, so that he hath looked very thin, and ill of late; but the wanton women that are so mad after him, do not know how he is metamorphised; so that he is not now like himselfe, but rather like a Iack a lent.

But yet some other markes that you may know him by, is that the wanton Women dote after him, he helped them to so many new Gownes, Hatts, and Hankerches, and other fine knacks, of which he hath a pack on his back, in which is good store of all sorts, besides the fine knacks that he got out of their husbands pockets for houshold provisions for him: he got Prentises, Servants, and Schollers many play­dayes, and therefore was well beloved by them also and made all merry with Bagpip [...]s, Fiddles, and other musicks, Giggs, Dances, and Mummings, yea the yong people had more merry dayes, and houres before him whilst he stayd, which was in some houses 12. dayes, in some 20. in some more, and in some lesse, then in all the yeare againe: and [Page 4]more Lasses was got with child, when he elevated his knees with his socundity then was in all the time of the lent fol­lowing.

The Candlemaker, Cardmaker, Cookes, Pimakers, and all fotts of trades seasonable for the time, got well by him, and vended his Commodityes best at his coming, and ma­ny a broken poore whore could get up a new baudie house, and a new stock, by the coming of this good fellow.

The proportion of his feete is well knowne, for he crept from under the Romish Chaire; and was placed in the Ka­lender only by a popish Edict, to be a time observable for the common People to bring in large offerings to the Popes holinesse, and to maintaine the Cardinalls, Priests, and Fryers.

If you will know him by his smell, you may scent him a­mongst the malignants, for they will rather keepe his Excre­ment for a susstitious monument, then let him be quite gone they flock for some looks of his gray head, or peeces of his nailes, or a pin of his cloathes, or rather then faile, one of the Feathers of his bauble to keepe for a relique; something they are resolved to keepe in remembrance of him, which way be easisy scented when you come amongst them, for they slinke of it as bad as a Fryer of his weedes, or a Non of her mantle, which will fume sufficiently in your noses, except they coster you with a little holy water sprinkled up­on him to deceve your sences.

You may also know him by his voice, for he cries just like to the Oxford luncto men, have not I been of great e­steeme alwaies with your have not I authoritie, hath not my waies been Idolizied by the most, and what will you leave me now, if ever you stuck to a poore ould man, that will do fine acceptable things for you stick to me now, you know I have made you merrie, and if the men will not take my part, then all you Women and Boyes. Prentises and Servants, do [Page 5]not you leave me, for then I shall die; but you are the staffe of my age, then be you my comfort, all you that ever thinke to see Christmas againe, stick to me now close, for I am constrained to remaine in the Popish quarters, and dare not show my face where the Parliament have any power, thus you have his markes.

All you therefore that by your diligent inquirie, can tell anie tidings of this ould man called Christmas, and tell me where he may be met withall; whether in any of your streets, or elsewhere, though in never so straitned a place, in an Applewomans staul, or Grocers Curren Tub, in a C [...]okes Oven, or the Maides Porrige pot, or crept in some corner of a Tra [...]sl [...]ters shop, where the Cobler was wont so merrily to chant his Carolls, whosoever can tel what is become of him, or where he may be found, let them bring him back againe into England, to the Crier, and they shall have a Benedection from the Pope, an hundred oaths from the Cavaliers, 40. Kisses from the wanton Wenches, and be made Pursevant to the next Arch Bishop; Malig­nants will send him a peece of Braune, and everie Prentice boy will give him his point next holie Thursday, the good-Wives will keepe him in some corners of their mince pies, and the new Nun io Ireland will returne him to be ca­nonized the next Reformation of the Cilender.

And so Pape save Chrismas,

Lady I am come to tell you what returne I can make you of the crying of ould Father Chrismas, which J have done, and am now here to give you answer.

Well said honest Cryer, Mr. Woodcock will remem­ber you for it.

The [...]oor old man upon St. Thomas his day was a­raigned, condemned, and after conviction cast into prison a­mongst the Kings Souldiers, fearing to be hanged, or some other execution to be done upon him, he broke prison, [Page 6]and got out at so narrow a passage, between two Iron Bars of a Window, that nothing but onely his old gray beard and hoarie hair of his head stuck there, but nothing else to be seen of him; and if you will have that, compound for it, lest it be sold amongst the sequestred goods, or burnt with the next Popish pictures, by the hand of the hangman.

But is old, old, good old Christmas gone? No­thing but the hair of his good, grave old head and beard left! Well, I will have that, seeing I cannot have more of him, one lock whereof will serve Mr. Woodcock for a token; But what is the event of his departure?

The poor are sory for it, for they go to every door a begging as they were wont to do (Good Mrs. somewhat a­gainst this good Time) but Time was transformed, Away be gone, here is not for you; and so they instead of going to the Ale-bouse to be drunk, were fain to work all the Holidayes. The Schollers came into the Hall, where their hungry sto­macks had thought to have found good Brawn and Christ­mas Pies, Roast bief and Plum porridge, but no such mat­ter; Away ye prophane, these are superstitious meats, your stomack must be fed with wholesome doctrine. Alas poor tallow-faced Chandlers, I met them mourning through the streets, and complaining that they could get no vent for their Mustard, for want of Brawn.

Well, if ever the Catholiques or Bishops rule again in England, they will set the Church dores open on Christ­mas day, and we shall have Masse at the High Altar, as was used when the day was first instituted, and not have the ho­ly Eucharist barred out of School, as School boyes do their Masters against the festival. What shall we have our mouths shut to welcome old Christmas? No, no, bid him come by night over the Thames, and we wil have a back door open to let him it. I will my self give him his diet for one year, to try his fortune, this time twelve month it may prove better.