IT is not unknown to us under how many scandals we groan, and how our Names hang up a sunning in all parts of the Nation, all bedaubed with infamous imputations, like an old greasie pair of breeches embroidered with Fullers Earth. We confesse that according to the Pro­verb, Men that have ill Names are as good as half hang'd. Truly although we might aver this Proverb to be a lie, not finding the exercise of our Lungs at all straightned by the for­feiture of our Reputation; yet, to give the world a clear disco­very of our spirits; and to shew that we do not repent because of our Reproaches, we have thought good to publish these few lines by way of our justification; only let the Reader take this Caution along with him, that if there be any honour obtain'd by the penning thereof, he is to ascribe it only to him who is [Page 4] named first in the Title, for that my brother Ireton, though he be a good cunning man for the world, yet he never wrote a Book in his life, as I have done, so that it is not to be thought, that he who never put pen to paper should be so good a Pen-man as I, that have made a shift to make a whole Treaise. But methinks we now hear the world begin to Catechize us, first ask­ing us, What are our Names? why we would have the World to know that we are not asham'd of our names; our names are Robert Tichborn and John Ireton, the which names of ours are also fring'd about with the titles of Aldermen. You'l say, Who gave us these Names? Why even our Godfathers and God­mothers forsooth; for then the Swine of the world trampled upon these divine Truths which are since more freely practised: for a man could not have been wash'd from his sins in those days in deep Rivers, (as they cleanse sheep before sheering time) but he must have been hooted at by all the street. Neither to tell ye the truth did we much look after such kind of Stories, til we found Profession, or professing, which you please, necessary for the exaltation of our particular mortified Interests: But if you ask us, who made us Aldermen? we answer, not the City; for we were never beholding to them in our lives, (nor did we give them any reason to oblige us:) but our gracious Protector of happy memory rais'd us for his own ends and our profit: we say, of happy memory, for that he never opprossed us, never tyrannized over us, and therefore we have no reason to speak ill of him.

We came several wayes into preferment. As for my brother Ireton, All the world knows where he lived, and in what affairs of this transitory world he did occupy himself. It was Henry Ireton that like Cantharides, raised up this City Blister of Authority. Truly he was his brother, and ye cannot blame him. Would ye not have thought it very strange, and a very unnatural thing in a brother to see himself Commissary General of a great Army, and Deputy-Lievtenant of Ireland, and let his own flesh and blood still continue a seller of Druggett and Bombazine. Neither was he an ungracious, or an unthankful brother; for he was very officious, and obedient to him in all things, as be­ing the more superiour power. The subtle old Fox fescu'd [Page 5] to him with all diligence his primar of Policy, which the pretty apt thing learnt with so much docibleness, that partly by his own industry, partly by the assistance of the Spirit he arrived in a short time to perfection, and enjoyed the fulness of his brothers Matchiavillianisms. Therefore when the Protector went first about to ride the great City he made use of us, as of two Bitts to rein his High-metal'd Steed. Nor must I be silent of his brothers charity, for hee lent the compounding Cavaliers, though they were his enemies, mony upon Mortgages and great advantages to himself, imitating therein the pious ex­ample of Mr. Moorecrafts kindnesses to the younger Lovelace, as you shall finde it written in the Play of the Scornful Lady, whereby he got unto himself much of the riches of this world.

For myself, I was alwayes Pragmatical, and withall very Schismatical; and being in the cave of Narrow-fortune, I made my Mother the City drunk with the Clusters which I brought from Canaan, and she in her drink made me a Colonel; now because I had not so much mony then, as I have now, I even contented my self with my Lord of Pembrokes old Cloaths, and in them my thought I was as fine as the best Colonel of them all. Some that saw me march before my Regiment would say, What is the old Earle of Pembroke risen again from the dead? No foolish Galathians, it was not he, for the dead live not, so that it was not my Lord of Pembroke that lived in my Cloaths, but I that lived in my Lord of Pembroks old Cloaths: Why if the Earle of Pembroke had carried his old Cloaths to his grave, I could not have had them, neither should I have desired them; but since that he had no need of taking them along with him (as indeed there is no need of cloaths where Whoremasters and Swearers remain, because the place is heated with perpetual fires even like a Glass-house) should my Lord of Pembrokes old Cloaths have been thrown away? Nay verily, but they are in an errour that say so: And I shall say this to the face of the whole world, that for my part I think my Lord of Pembroke was more beholding to that servant that sold me his Cloaths, than to any man in the world, for that he raised unto his Lord a living Monument. But it was not my Lord of Pembrokes [Page 6] Cloaths that made me famous, it was a certain deliberate, grave, serious, pithy, godly, and most obstreperous piece of (I will not say) sence, because I was the Author, but let them be Judges that have patience to read it. Truly it will require some pa­tience in a man to read it all over. So that if patience be a vertue, he that reads it quite through must needs be vertuous. I entituled it a Cluster Canaans Grapes, meaning the Grapes which the Spyes brought out of Canaan. Truly I think it is omi­nous to bring Grapes from Canaan; for from the time I brought home my Clusters, have I been counted a Spy too, not without reason; for to tel the truth, I have been a Spy upon the City ever since. This book made me appear to the world such a simple fellow, as if butter it self would not melt in my mouth. But Cromwel my very good Lord and Master, a man of a most piercing apprehension, finding that my mouth was not only able to melt the butter, but that my throat also was wide enough to swallow the Gudgeons, and perceiving me to have an Ostrich conscience, he took me into his arms, and said, Friend Tichborn, I find thee as fit for my Turn as if I had made thee my self, and therfore do but help me to carry on this great work of mine, and I will reward thee, not, that like a Saint thou shalt trust me till the world to come, but I will reward thee in this world, yea even in this world wherein thou now livest. Dost thou want Ho­nour? I will make thee Lord Mayor of London; dost thou want money? thou shalt be my Danae, and I will showr gold into thy Lap. Say you so, thought I, money will make a Mayor to goe. Truly it made me to goe about many Designs which few men but he thank'd me for: and I will say thus much for my self, and a fig for my self, that if faithfulness and reality be vertuous, I was vertuous, for I was alwayes faithful and real to him I serv'd. Truly 'tis a hard matter for a man to act his part well upon the Stage of this world. We thought we had done our parts as well as others, but the altering of one Scene, how it has chang'd our condition! And now what do not men say of us? They say that we have carried on all the barbarous Designes of the Anabaptists in the City, that we betrayd the Councels, and were two Spies upon all the actions of our Fel­low [Page 7] Gown-men within the walls. Truly a great piece of bu­siness, and we live in a fine Age indeed, when men shall be blam'd for being diligent in their Calling. I remember, that when I was a young man, my Master would say, Keep close to your Trade, and your Trade will maintain you. Now we believe that that way whereby a man gets his livelyhood, he is bound to follow, and it is his Trade and Occupation. Tru­ly we had a very good Trade, so that when all the City com­plain'd for want of Trading, we felt no such oppression. The Spanish Wars did us no harm, and I think we should have been fools indeed to have shut up our shops at such a time. Nor are we to be blam'd for serving our Pay-master so faithfully; for what is there in the world so base as Treachery, especially treachery to a mans friend. 'Tis true we grant, that a man may betray his Countrey, or a whole City, or the most inge­nious and faithful Party of a Nation. For there is a multi­tude, and a man hath no obligation to one in ten thousand; but to betray a mans friend, and the best friend he hath in the world, that's your treachery. Judas was not curs'd for be­traying his Country, but for betraying his single Master, who had so many wayes oblig'd him, and at length made him his Treasurer, never calling him to any account. Then people say, We endeavour'd all we could to break the City Charter, though we were members thereof, and extreamly angry they were be­cause my Brother Ireton would have been twice Mayor. Law ye now! what a coyle here is. Truly 'tis a strange thing to us that people should keep such a stir with a Charter. Why, sup­pose ye had never a Charter, think ye the City would perish? I wonder what Charter that City had which Cain built in the Land of Nod. And yet, for ought I know, one man might have been Mayor there forty times, and no body have said a­ny thing to him. In former time Mayors were Mayors as long as they liv'd, and were call'd Kings, witness Bera Mayor of Sodom, and Birshu Mayor of Gomorrah, and Chedorlaomer Mayor of Elam: Truly if I or my Brother Ireton were such a Mayor of London, as he was of Elam, we should be as good Mayors as he for all his hard name. Others blame us for unhorsing the Cavaliers; but they talk like fools, for we have made them [Page 8] beggars, and it is conttary to the Proverb, to set beggars a horse-back. Give them Horses and they'l ride upon our shoul­ders. A great many people say we have no Charity. Truly we find it to be a very cold vertue, therefore we dare not let it come too neer our hearts by reason of its benumming and ve­nomous quality. As many there be that say we have as little Honesty. But as for that, we shall onely give this short answer, that if we have cozen'd the State, we have done no more than a great many of our Companions, and what we can justifie from the continual practice of the Saints. And truly there is a great deal of reason that my Brother Ireton should have an Ish­maels portion, being the son of the Bom [...]woman.

Thus, I hope, we have fully satisfy'd the world, if the world be not as unreasonable as our selves; for I confesse I think 'twas not a small matter that satisfy'd us. 'Tis true, perhaps we may be a little puzled what to say at the last day; but be of good comfort Brother Ireton, for if it be impossible for Saints to err, then it will go well enough of our side. Now I am as con­fident as I stand here we are two Saints; for I have prov'd it in my most Odoriferous Treatise of Muskadine, which gives you such essential marks of a Saint, that it may indeed be call'd the Saints Butter-print: You may there see a Saint cut as ex­actly as a French gown. Now does any body think that my soul could breath forth such experiences and holy truths, and I be a Knave▪ Now if there were nothing else, this were enough to satisfie any reasonable man. And therefore I shall say no more till I shall come to Preach to the multitude upon a Lad­der, and then you shall hear as much agen, if it be but onely to delay time.