The Cooper of Norfolke: OR, A pretty Iest of a Brewer, and the Coopers wife: and how the Cooper served the Brewer in his kinde.
To the tune of
The wiving age.
ATtend my masters, and listen well
Vnto this my ditty, which briefly doth tell
Of a fine mery Iest which in Norfolke befell
A braue lusty Cooper in that County did dwell,
And there he cride worke for a Cooper,
Maids ha'y any worke for a Cooper.
This Cooper he had a faire creature to's wife
Which a Brewer ith'towne lou'd as deare as his life,
And she had a tricke, which in some wiues is rife,
She still kept a sheath for another mans knife,
And often conuted the Cooper,
while he cri'd, more worke for a Cooper.
It hapen'd one morning the Cooper out w
[...]nt,
To worke for his liuing it was his intent,
He trusted his house to his wiues gouernment,
And left her in bed to her owne hearts content,
while he cri'd, what worke for a Cooper,
Maids ha'y any worke for a Cooper.
And as the Cooper was passing a long,
Stil trying and calling his old wonted song,
The Brewer, his riuall, both lusty and yong,
[...]id thinke now or neuer to doe him same wrong,
and lie with the wife of the Cooper,
who better lou'd him then the Cooper,
So calling the Cooper, he to him did say,
Goe home to my house, and make no delay,
I haue so much worke as thou canst doe to day,
What euer thou earnest,
[...]le bountifully pay,
these tydings well pleased the Cooper,
oh this was braue newes for the Cooper.
Away went the Cooper to th' house of the Brewer,
Who séeing him hard at his worke to endure,
Thought he, now for this day the Cooper is sure,
Ile goe to his wife the gréene sickenesse to cure,
take heed of your fo
[...]e-head, good Cooper.
for now I must worke for the Cooper.
So strait waies he went to the Coopers dwelling,
The good wife to giue entertainment was willing:
The Brewer & she like to Pigeons were billing,
& what they did else they haue bound me from telling
[...]
he pleased the wife or the Cooper,
who better lou'd him then the Cooper.
But marke how it happened now at the last,
Their sun-shine of pleasures was soone ouer-cast,
The Cooper did lacke one of's Tooles, and in hast,
He came home to fetch it, and found the doore fast:
Wife, open the doore, quoth the Cooper,
and let thy husband the Cooper.
Now when the good-wife and the Brewer did heare,
The Cooper at doore, affrighted they were,
The Brewer was in such a bodily feare,
That for to hide himselfe, he knew not where,
to shun the fierce rage of the Cooper,
he thought he should die by the Cooper.
The Good wife perceiuing his woefull estate,
She hauing a subtill and politicke pate,
She suddenly whelm'd downe a great brewing fat,
And closely she couer'd the Brewer with that,
then after she let in the Cooper,
what's vnder this tub, quoth the Cooper,
The second part,
To the same tune.
She hearing her husband that question demaund,
She thought it was time to her tackling to stand,
Take heed how you moue it, qd. she, with your hand,
For theres a liue Pig, was left by a friend,
Oh let it alone good Cooper,
thus she thought to coozen the Cooper.
It is a Sow pig the Cooper did say,
Let me ha'it to my supper: the Good-Wife said nay.
It is sir a Bore pig, quoth she, by my fay,
Tis for mine owne dyet, twas giuen me to day.
It is not for you Iohn Cooper,
Then let it alone Iohn Cooper.
I would it were in thy belly, quoth
Iohn,
Indéed then quoth she so it shall be anon,
What ere become of it, faith thou shalt haue none,
Why standst thou here prating, I prethée be gone,
Make haste to thy worke Iohn Cooper,
worse meate's good enough for a Cooper.
Cannot a good-wife haue a bit now and than,
But there must be notice tane by the Good man,
Ile ha'it to my dinner sir, doe what you can,
It may be I long to haue all or none,
Then prethee content thee good Cooper,
Oh goe to thy worke Iohn Cooper.
The Cooper mistrusted some knauery to be,
Hid vnder the brewing fat, and therefore he
Was fully resolued for his mindes sake to sée,
Alas said the Brewer then woe be to me,
Oh what shall I say to the Cooper,
I vvould I vvere gone from the Cooper.
You Whore quoth the Cooper, is this your bore pig?
He has béene well fed, for hées growne very big,
Ile eyther of him haue an arme or a leg,
Ile make him vnable his taile for to wrig.
Before he gets hence from Iohn Cooper,
Ile make him remember the Cooper.
Oh pardon me neighbour the Brèwer did say,
And for the offence I haue done thée this day,
I am well contented, thy wrath to allay,
And make restitution for this my foule play,
Oh prethee forgiue me Iohn Cooper,
And Ile be a friend to Iohn Cooper.
If for this offence thou wilt set me cleare,
My bounty and loue to thée shall appeare,
Ile fréely allow thée and thine all the y
[...]re,
As much as yee'll drinke, eyther strong Als or
[...]re,
Then prethee forgiue me Iohn Cooper,
Accept of my profer Iohn Cooper.
Oh, no, quoth the Cooper, Ile haue thée to thinke,
That I with my labour can buy my selfe drinke,
Ile geld thée, or lame thée, ere from me thou shrinke,
These words made the Brewer with feare for to stincke,
he feared the rage of the Cooper,
yet still he intreated the Cooper.
The Cooper by no meanes would let goe his hold,
The Brewer cri'd out to the Cooper and told
Him, there was the key of his siluer and gold,
And gaue him frée leaue to fetch what he would,
oh then he contented the Cooper
these tydings well pleased the Cooper.
If thou quoth the Cooper, wilt sweare with and oath,
To doe all thou telst me, although I am loath,
I will be contented to pardon you both:
Content, quoth the Brewer, I will be my troth,
Here take thou my key, Iohn Cooper,
yea, with a good will, quoth the Cooper.
On this condition they both went their way,
Both
Iohn and the Brewer, but
Iohn kept the key,
Which open'd the Coffer where more money lay,
Then
Iohn the Cooper had made many a day:
this is a braue sight thought the Cooper,
Ile furnish my selfe thought the Cooper.
Iohn was so farre in affection with that,
That he tooke vp handfuls and filled his hat,
I wil haue my bargaine quoth
Iohn, that is flat,
The Brewer shall pay well for vsing my Fat;
Ile cry no more worke for a Cooper,
farewell to the trade of a Cooper,
Thus money can pacifie the greatest strife,
For
Iohn neuer after found fault with his Wife,
He left off his Adz, his Saw and his knife,
And after liu'd richly all dayes of his life,
he cri'd no more worke for a Cooper,
oh he left off the trade of a Cooper.
And in his mer
[...]y mood, oft he would say,
If that I had hoopt twenty t
[...] in one day,
I should not haue got so much wealth, by my say,
Gr
[...]ercy kind wife, for thy wit found the wa
[...],
to make a rich man of Iohn Cooper,
oh what a good wife has Iohn Cooper,
Let no marri'd couple that heare this tale told,
Be of the opinion this couple did hold,
To sell reputation for siluer or gold,
For credit and honestie should not be sold,
Thus endeth the Song of the Cooper,
That cri'd ha'y any worke for a Cooper.
FINIS.