Of the Eclipses that shall happen this Year 1684, to the mighty terrifying and astonishing the Beholders.
IF we may give credit to the Authentical Censures of Albumazer and Ptolomy, about the Motions of the Celestial Bodies, whose Influence does excite and procure continual Mutations in the Lower Region, we shall find that this year the Moon will be eclipsed, which shall happen in one of the twelve Months, and in be totally darkened, so the Effects shall be the more wonderful; for Cancer being the sole House of the Moon, doth presage that this year Fruits shall be greatly eaten with Caterpillers, as Brokers, Farmers, Flatterers, and other such like Vermin, which, feeding on the Sweat of other mens Brows, shall greatly hinder the Beauty of the Spring, and spoil the growth of good Herbs, unless some Northerly Wind from Heaven clear the Trees of such Cankerworms and Catterpillars: Cancer being a Watry Sign, and chief Governour of Floods and Streams, fore-sheweth, that Fishmongers if they be not well lookt to, will go down as far as Gravesend in Wherries, and yet get but little profit, for their Popish Customers hide themselves at present in Middletons-Pipes: Besides, it signifies; that Brewers shall make havock of Thames-water, and put a double quantity of Liquor to their Malt, to the great detriment of many Crazy Ale-Knights, and if it be not well look'd into and prevented by the worshipful Company of Ale- [...]nners, may in time prove their fatal overthrow: but in this we have great hopes, that because the Effect cannot surpass the Cause, divers Tapsters shall trust out more than they can get in, though they fill their pots but half full, yet, for want of true dealing, shall dye indebted to the Brewer, to his great grief and small satisfaction. Thus much of the Watery Sign Cancer, only I do advise Sea-men to carry two Shirts on Ship-board, for fear of six legged Animals, which they must be forced to spend their time in hunting and murthering to save their own Skins whole.
Of the Eclipse of the Sun.
THE Eclipse of the Sun, according to Proclus's Opinion, is like to produce many hot and pestilent Infirmities, especially amongst Somners, Pettifoggers, and swinging Evidences, whose Faces are combust, fiery, deathful, and inflamed with the Juyce of Barley; so that if a violent Death do not take away these consuming Malt-worms Barley will be dear. Others shall be troubled with hot Rheums in their Heads, and such hot Agues shall reign this Year, with strange Fevers and other Calamities, that if the Sun were not placed in a cold Sign, they would again raise the price of Wine before August; but many good Planets being retrograde, do foretell Lemmons to be plentiful and cheap, that they may be eaten to Bed-ward: and Mars being placed near the Sun, shews, that many shall dye this Summer, old Men and Women, when they can live no longer; and some also that might live longer if Jack Ketch did not put a period to their Maladies. Some Young-men this Year shall rejoyce, that have old rich Misers to their Friends; for the Devil hath made a Decree, that assoon as the Doctors, their own Merits and the Priests have sent them to Hell, he'll keep them there, that they shall never return to trouble their Heirs for spending that on the Devils Back that they pinched out of honest poor Peoples Bellies. The Souldiers beyond Sea shall be so hot-headed as to quarrel for their Pay, and mutiny, and kill one another; but here Man and Man shall quarrel, the Lawyers get their Money and laugh at them for Fools, and those that quarrel most shall have the Attorney's Blessing. And further, there will be grumbling as bad as falling out amongst Church-men; and divers fond Sects in Religion like to be troublesome both in City and Country. Self-Conceiters and over-holy Counterfeits, that delight in Singularity, shall rise up and despise Authority, presuming even to abuse the higher Powers, if Saturn with a frowning influence did not threaten them with Tyburns Turns.
But whereas the Sun is darkended but by Digits, and that upon the South points, it presageth great Misery in Spain and [Page 4]those South Countries: Fryars, Monks, and Jesuits, shall heat themselves so with Confessing Harlots, that their Crowns shall wax bare of their own Debauchery, to the great impoverishing of the Spanish Barbers; but those Chirurgeons that can cure the Pox may grow rich: and such a pestilent hypocritical Company as there are of Mass-mongers, are like to go to the Devil for G—s sake as the Dog eat the Custard. Further, the Eclipse falling out in hot Weather, there is like to be abundance of Fleas, that Women will sit up till Midnight, and longer, doing Execution, in their Smocks and Beds, upon that black Crew of light-heel'd Creatures, and committing Murders upon them as the Spaniards did on the Moors, or People in the West-Indies, and without any Remorse: but they must remember, What measure they made must be measured to them again suddenly.
But, as this Eclipse falls out in the Afternoon, it presageth, That men shall go soberer into the Taverns than they shall come forth; and those that are drunk and sleep on the cold Ground, need not fear to dye then in a Sweat. But Gemini being combust and retrograde, sheweth, That some shall have so sore a Sweating, that they may sell their Hair by the pound to stuff Tennis Balls with. If the Beadles be careful this Summer, it may be hoped that Thieving-Lane in Westminster may be cleansed from evil Faries, and that honest Women may live there quietly, not fearing Whip or Cart. I find the like of the Altitude of Whetstones-Park and Dog and Bitch Lane, as well as Southampton Buildings, the which places, before the Restauration was moistened with such precious Water, that the Whores cannot as yet depart, because Venus presageth the same; and she being retrograde and slow, leaves them there to the Power of those Constables that dare disturb them, before they have drawn in too many Young-men Novises, to their utter Ruine and Destruction. And further, it is to be noted, Many strange Children shall be born, who shall live so strangely, that when they come to be Bishop't they have not Wit enough to know their own Fathers, but from sympathizing, shall have their Fingers like Lime-twiggs, to get their Livings with five an a Reach; and some shall have Feet like Hares, and shall trudge from Post to Pillar till they take up [Page 5]Beggars Bush for their Lodging, others shall have good Noses to smell Feasts of others Costs; likewise divers Women this Year shall have two Tongues, to the terrible Grief of them that marry them, uttering in their Fury such rough-cast Eloquence, that Knave and Slave shall be but Holy-day Words to their Husbands. Whereas this fearful Eclipse doth endure one hour and a half, it signifies Womens Love to their Husbands shall be very short; and some so momentary, that it shall hardly endure form the Church to the Bride-house, the Air is so variable this Year. Also it is to be noted, that Hens, Capons, Geese, and Pullets, shall not frequent Poor-mens Houses, but fly even roasted, from the Spits to rich Churls and Gluttons, to pamper them up against next Christmas. Much more might be said, but I end thus, desiring them that have good Cloaths to wear them, and those that have good Victuals, to eat, and those that have Money may take their Ease and be quiet, and not meddle nor make, but live till they dye.
Of the second Eclipse of the Moon.
THE second Eclipse of the Moon will be before the 31th of December or not this Year 1684. I conceive it will be seen but little in our Meridian, therefore the Effects cannot be very prejudicial to us nor any of our Clime. But yet as the Body of the Moon is never obscure either in part or whole, but it shews some dangerous Effects to follow, so I mean to set down briefly what may be look'd for. &c.
First, let the Danes look to it, and be sure to steel their Noses well, and drink good store of strong Liquor to heat their Blood, that they may well keep out the French and cold Weather, for they are both bad; and the wary Hollander must be careful, for they have been too bold, to meddle with such things as have been too high for them. The Lyon sleeps; he may wake: the French are proud, and fear not; but their Time is nigh, and Plum-Porridge is good all the Year, but in Fashion at Christmas, with the Pipes, Cards, Roast-Beef, and Dice, and many a Song, and carousing Night and Day with some that their Wives and Children suffers Hunger and Cold. [Page 6]But as the Eclipse is South, and in the eighth House, so there is like to be in France a great Dearth of honest Men, and few there left, but their. Hope may perish, and their Enterprize come to Shame; for there was a Prophecy found in an old Book, which is likely to prove true, viz. The Tree that God hath not planted shall be rooted-up in a time when least thought of.
Some curious Astronomers of late days, more prophetical than judicial, do affirm, That after such Phiznomizes there shall strange Sects arise; as if some of Goodman- Pope's old Saints should come again to set the People a madding after new Whimsies in Religion, and with such fond Humours in their Brains, that diverse Fools shall become self-conceited, and grounding their witless Opinions on some heretical Fancy, shall seek to ruminate Authority; and so firmly shall they stand, that though many of them are destroyed, their Disciples shall grow up, like Grass, innumerable, that Tyburn will be hard put to it; were it not that the Moon being in Taurus, that governs Neck and Throat, shews that the Squinancy shall reign amongst them, and strangle many by consequence, otherwise they would run retrograde to the year forty two, and then run direct and swift in motion thereby thinking to increase in number: but stay— Capricorn is a Sign wherein Luna is often resident, which prognosticateth great Mischiefs amongst horned Beasts, declaring that the Butchers shall commit willful murther upon many Rams, Sheep, Oxen, and Cows, without Repentance, if they did not pay too dear for them; but many that take them where they find them, shall certainly come to make up their Accounts with Jack Catch for their Honesty, (or for want of it) because they always say, that plain dealing will dye a Beggar: but this we are certainly sure of, that for want of it many hang like Dogs: observe likewise the Act made, That he that wipes his Nose and hath none, is to forfeit his plain Face; and all such who are jealous of their Wives without cause, deserve the horns to make them amends.
And as the Eclipse is far from Pisces, it doth prognosticate that there will be great store of stinking Fish at Billingsgate, and at Quinborough their Oyster-Boats shall go nigh to be as full of Knaves as honest Men: besides, a great many fish-wives this Year are like to prove arrant Scolds, and some of them drunken [Page 7]Wh—s, and shall take Strangers into their Husband's Quarters by day-light, and swear they may do it as well as Ladies; and commend their great Freedoms, saying, They are the best Houswives that lye in bed to save their Shooes; and that a Plaister of warm Guts, a Toast and good Liquor, with a good Fire, is far better than to freeze with Cold: and that a Cup of good Ale, a piece of old Cheese and a Tost, or a piece of pouder'd Beef and a Bag-pudding is very hearty, and Plum-pottage, Rost-beef, Minc'd Pyes, Turkeys, Geese, Capons, and such like good Cheer, with a Glass of good Wine, is far better to end the Year withall than a thump on the back with a Stone.
Now I shall speak something of Mans Inclinations and Dispositions for the whole year, &c. And first, of the Winter-Quarter, so far as by Art I can conjecture.
WHatever Ptolomy says, it matters not, for I say it begins sooner with poor men than with rich: because of the malignant Influence of Saturn, whose malevolent nature is such, that those who have neither Cloathes, Money, nor Credit, shall want not only Meat and Drink, but also Wood and Coals, and be ready to starve with Cold, whilst rich men may sit by a good Fire, with Apples and Ale and Ginger: And though the Season be cold and flegmatick, some will be afraid of the Cold, and sit all day long at Cards, Dice or Tables, whilst their poor Wives and Children want Necessaries at home by reason of their Folly. But in regard that I find two of the seven Planets in Capricorn, viz. the Winter-sign, Sol in Pisces, Mars in Aquarius, it doth certainly signifie, that many men and Women, for want of Wine and strong Drink, shall go sober to bed sore against their Wills; and also that Sea-men shall have very ill luck if their Ships strike against Rocks, or stick in the Sands. Here likewise Saturn being retrograde in Leo, shews, that many rich men may lose their Purses by High-way-men, and the poor be weather-beaten [Page 8]by Usury and Extortion: But Mercury and Venus being congragated in Sagittary, shews, that they that have no Shirts in time will be lowsie, and yet save the charge of washing: and Water men for want of Fares may sit still and blow their Fingers ends, notwithstanding the many thousands of French come hither of late, if they have not saved a penny as well for a frosty day as a rainy: Also Eeles will in all probability be dear, if there be but few taken: but Powts will be plentiful in all places; especially in those Cities and Countries where Women cannot have their wills, and maundring broth scolding hot, although it be cold Weather. Now as far as can be ghess'd by the divers Configurations of the Stars, and their Significations, there is nothing more plain, than that they that have no Fire this Winter-season cannot be very hot.
Of the Spring-Quarter.
THe Spring is comfortable to all Animals: the Sun is got out of Pisces, and entered into Aries, the Ram, the House of Mars, and the Suns exaltation, by which I find many Scholars to have dull pates for want of timely Preferment, because the monied Blades have all the Livings, and he that hath no Mony shall have no living, which makes some scratch where it does not itch, for kissing goes always by favour: but Jupiter being now on his way to Sagittary, fiery, and in his exaltation, shews, that when he's there he is resolv'd to mend all, and that Reward shall no more go backwards, nor Honour upon his Head, but many shall receive Preferments according to their Merits. And according to Proclus his Opinion, Women are likely to grow wilful, yet their Husbands must be content; and Butchers will sell their Meat as dear as they can, and many keep their Sheeps heads so long that at last they are forced to throw them away, though their Wives preserve their Horns; and some men shall be so wedded to Swines Flesh, that they shall never be without a Sow in their House as long as they live.
The Spring or Vernal Quarter is naturally hot and moist, which shews the sprouting out of Trees, Herbs and Weeds also; it likewise sheweth old men to be testy and froward, and that [Page 9]crafty Knaves need no Brokers; but the Sun being in his dignities in Aries portendeth much evil to those who have taken the Fleet and Kings Bench on purpose to defraud their Creditors, which Places were for no other purpose but to relieve the oppressed, and poor in necessity, but of late have been made as bad as a Den of Thieves, by the most abominable Cheats and Cosenages daily committed, to the astonishment and admiration of all honest men; that the Creditor may see his Mony spent, the Jaylor inricht, and himself grow poor, without remedy; which in all honest mens thoughts is little better than robbery, or as the old Saying is, Robbing Peter to pay Paul: but Jupiter and the Sun being both just and kingly Planets, foresheweth the stopping up, and ferretting these Foxes out of their holes, wherein they lye and upbraid their Creditors, to their utter ruine oftentimes. Now because Aquarius hath something to do in this Quarter, it is to be feared that the Vintners will put more Water in their Wine than formerly, to the great dammage, if not utter overthrow of many ancient red Noses: and out of the old stock of Heresie may be broacht some new Schismatical Opinions, that may yet disturb some honest men that mean well: but certain it is, that there is likely to swarm such a huge swarm of Hypocrites, that an honest man will be hard to be found, especially in White-Friars or the mint in Southwark. But oh! you generation of wicked Ostlers, worse Vermin than any, who rob poor Horses, and grease their Teeth that they cannot eat their meat when they stand at Livery; by all the foregoing Configurations and Celestial Signs, this I prognosticate against you, That he that dyes amongst you dies a Thief, and he that lives lives a Knave; and if he leaves not those cheating tricks he shall die a Beggar. I must not hide this notable Secret, that Jupiter being in Aspect with Luna, discovereth, that the weather growing warm many shall drink more than they bleed, and Taylors shall steal nothing but what is brought to them, Poulteres shall be much pestered with stinking Fowl Conies, to the anoyance of their Neighbours, and their own disprofit. Butchers Dogs hate Lent, and some Apprentices that have hard Masters will be much trouble with the Shoulders ake, more especially when Sol enters Gemini.
Of Comets in general.
IT has been the long received Opinion of all the famous Astrologers, That Comets do always portend, to some Nations or Places in the World, where their Influence shall happen, War, Fire, Famine, Pestilence, Tumults, Insurrections, Invasions, inundations, or what ever else they please to imagine; but I say, so far as by Art I lawfully may, That many People (if they do not leave drinking and live temperately) shall have wonderful ruby Faces, and great red Noses, which shall shine so powerfully, that in a dark night, if their Eyes be good, they may serve instead of a Link to light them home; and be as necessary as Touch-Wood in their Pockets to light their Tobacco: and many People that have great store of Wood and Coals, may if they please keep good Fires at Christmas; but those that are Frequenters of Whetstones Park, Dogyard, Lutenor's-Lane, and such like Places, by reason of the excessive heat of that Climate, (although it be cold Winter) yet shall carry Fire in their Tails, to the Destruction of their whole Bodies if they do not in time call for the Assistance of an able Chirurgeon.
Of Conjunctions.
BUt since we are now falling under the Effects of the most famous and remarkable Conjunctions of the Superior Planets, that has happened many hundred years, therefore we may well expect most wonderful Events in many Places, not only of Europe, but elsewhere; that is to say, many Single People of both Sexes shall be mightily desirous to be in Conjunction, and marry in haste, but they may repent at leisure: Also those that are purblind or Moon-ey'd will hardly ever look right forwards, and those that cannot hold their water will be subject to piss in Bed; those that swear shall catch no Fish, and they that angle in dirty Ditches may happily catch Frogs; those that have no money need not fear robbing; but [Page 11]they that can get no Cloaths, may certainly go naked, as well as those that hope for dead Folks Shooes go barefoot.
I do likewise prognosticate from the various Configurations at the time of writing these Predictions, There shall reign a cruel Disease in poor mens purses, but it shall be with Emptiness; insomuch that some shall be ready to cut out their pockets, greatly fearing they may never have more occasion to use them. Those that have taken great Cold may be troubled with the Cough, and those that are sick will have worse Stomachs than those that are well, although neither the one nor the other can digest a Ten-penny Nail, or a Bag of Tenterhooks, unless they are well butter'd. There will certainly be many Scolds at Billingsgate, and as many well qualified men at the Bear-garden. There will be many Knaves belong to the Custom-house, Excise, Chimneys, besides the Knaves that sell Quinborough Oysters, and those that fill the Oystersbarrels half full of Weeds instead of Colchester Oysters. The Knights of the Post, if Mercury prove true, may do great execution and get Money, and the Butchers make havock of Flies. Millers and Weavers shall be as theevish as ever, and Lawyers and Physicians no changelings, that which soever walks first, as good comes after. But woe to you Gold-laceseller, but that you only cheat them that have Money, otherwise your Trade were next to that of Pick-pockets and Apothecaries, to get eleven pence in the Shilling honestly. Woe to you Shoomakers, that make Shooes little stronger than Paper, and plead for your excuse that they are for Misses, that ride in Coaches, or lye on their backs Night and Day with their fore legs upwards, and their Shoos off, if they be anything dirty: To these inchanting Serpents many Gallants so often resort to pay their Courtships, that in small time they are forc'd to go dine with Duke Humphry, and then the thoughts of their Debaucheries increases their Miseries. A good Lesson for young men to learn, that the wickedness of whoring, gaming and drinking, is the Destruction of thousands: It takes away a mans Reputation, good Name and Credit, makes him a scorn and a by-word, hated and slighted of all: a Beast, worse than a Dog; for a Dog doth but according to kind, but what a shame is it for a man to degrade his own Soul, to make the [Page 12]Temple of the holy God a Swill-tub, a stinking nasty draugh-house, and his Mouth, that should praise the living God, his Privy: through which you shorten your dayes in this Life, and endanger your Souls in the life to come.
Therefore young men, learn to be wise, look to your ways, and take notice how many, for not fearing God and serving him, have fallen to ruine, and Repentance come to late; but let it be your care to lead such a Life that you need not repent of that folly that many before you have committed; assuring your selves that the hearty Sacrifices of those that are young and lusty, and in the prime of their Youth, God will accept: Serve God while you are young, and he will never leave you when you are old: and by this means you shall escape all the Dangers that can threaten Mortals.
But Mars being exalted in Capricorn, and entring the first term of Venus, stirrs up much Debauchery amongst Lewd People, and makes them hate to hear of any thing that is good: And likewise denotes, that abundance of lusty young men, that have very good Trades, and might live otherwise, if they were not lazy, shall be suffered to keep Ale-houses, and to bear Offices, to the great encouragement of Idleness, and perhaps ruining of many thousands; which the lower Stars may remedy if they please to be so benevolent: but in many places, through their favourable Aspect, the Event of Licensing such People to lick the Spiggot, only brings Profit to the Justices Clerk, and many the Halter; Whereas, take away Idleness, and the Cause of it, all other inconveniences will be remov'd, our Nation flourish, and all be happy: but the many private Bottle-houses, and Gaming-houses brings sudden ruin and destruction to Youth: At this Jupiter thunders but is not heard: because false Mercury having his Fall in Pisces, denotes, that many Men will rather give credit to idle Livers and false Testimonies, than to search out the Truth: and by their being corrupted, the old Proverb is verified, That one man may better steal a Horse than another look over the Hedge.
The World is drawing to an end with old men, and yet some will not amend their Lives, though they are daily call'd [Page 13]upon, and allarm'd, yet will not turn: but let such men know, that the Constellations of Heaven do absolutely declare, that there is a time coming when it shall be happy for those who are found well-doing.
And now to conclude, Let us all both Old and Young depart from Evil and do good, serve God to our utmost Power, love and honour our King, chearfully obey all that are in Authority over us, and love one another; this is a sure way to be happy both here and hereafter. And thus I conclude my Predictions for the Year 1684.