THE ROYAL Shepherdess.
A TRAGI-COMEDY, ACTED By his Highness the Duke of York's Servants.
LONDON, Printed for Henry Herringman, at the Sign of the Blew-Anchor, in the Lower-walk of the New-Exchange, 1669.
[Page]I have added little to the Story, onely have represented that in Action, which was expressed by him in long Narrations: For we find (though the French do often relate the most considerable Actions in their Plays, especially in their Tragedies) the English will not be content without seeing such Actions done, and this is one, of those many things, that make our English Plays so much exceed the French: But this was long ago observed by Horace:
I have endeavour'd to carry on these few Humors, which were but begun by him; and (to satisfie the Concupiscence as Mr. Iohnson calls it, of Jigge and Song) I designed as fit occasions for them as I could, there being in the former Play but one short Song which is the last but one.
Where it is possible, I have kept the Scenes unbroken, and with as proper a connexion as I could. What I have besides added I need not tell you, being I fear so much worse that his, that you will easily distinguish it.
I shall say little more of the Play, but that the Rules of Morality and good Manners are strictly observed in it: (Vertue being exalted, and Vice depressed) and perhaps it might have been better received had neither been done in it: for I find, it pleases most to see [Page] Vice incouraged by bringing the Characters of debauch'd people upon the Stage, and making them pass for fine Gentlemen who openly profess Swearing, Drinking, Whoring, breaking Windows, beating Constables, &c. and that is esteem'd among us a Gen [...]ile gayety of Humour, which is contrary to the Customs and Laws of all civilized Nations. But it is said, by some, that this pleases the people, and a Poets business is onely to endeavour that: But he that debases himself to think of nothing but pleasing the Rabble, loses the dignity of a Poet, and becomes as little as a Jugler, or a Rope-Dancer; who please more then he can do: but the office of a Poet is,
Which (if the Poets of our age would observe it) would render 'em as usefull to a Commonwealth as any profession whatsoever.
But I have too long troubled you with a Discourse of this Play, which (let me say what I will of it) you will judge of as you please: But if you consider, aft [...]r such an Infinite number of Playes, when
How difficult it is to write even an indifferent one [...] (as none but those that cannot write think it easie) Methinks it were but an ordinary piece of Humanity [...]
Dramatis Personae.
- BAsilius,
- King.
- Theander
- Prince.
- Endymion
- A worthy Lord of small Fortune.
- Pyrrhus
- A Creature of the Kings.
- Neander
- A vain, cowardly, vicious effeminate Lord.
- Geron
- An old Jealous Fop that has married a young Wife.
- Priest.—
- Queen.—
- Cleantha
- Niece to the King.
- Evadne
- Servant to the Queen.
- Urania
- One that was a Shepherdess, and preferr'd by the Prince to wait on Cleantha.
- Phronesia
- A vain foolish Woman, Wife to Geron.
- Cleopatra
- Mother to Vrania; conceal'd by the name of Parthenia.
- Messengers, Officers, Shepherds, and Shepherdesses, Nymphs, and Satyrs, Priests of Mars, &c.
SCENE ARCADIA.
THE ROYAL SHEPHERDESSE.
THE FIRST ACT.
How does this Minute transport my soul with Joy, to have the blessed priviledge to be with fair Evadne?
I a [...] glad it makes some body happy.
With her who has my Heart.—
She whom great Nature (now grown wanton) made to look upon, and scorn her other Works.
My Lord Neander! I see you are resolv'd not to study to no purpose, you will have out your Complement, let me say what I please: but I must take liberty to leave you in the middle of it.
Nay, Madam, I beseech you be not so unkind.
Nay now I have put you out of your Complement; I care not if I stay a little longer.
Madam! you are Cruel! how do you Kill?
Kill Neander? No sure then you would not be so near me.
I ne're could fear death from so fair a hand as yours.
I believe indeed, my Lord, you fear death least from the hands of a Woman, which is the Reason you chuse to stay here at Court among the Ladies, rather than go to War with the Prince.
Madam!—You Ladies have a Priviledge.
Yes, my Lord, [...]it's sometimes a priviledge to speak Truth.
'Faith Madam, you may say what you please.
Pardon me, my Lord, it would please me much better if I could s [...]y you were in the War in Thessaly.
T [...]u [...]y Madam, I could give you very good reasons why I went not to the War with the Prince.
I believe you can, and so can every body else that knows your Lordship: The first and Chiefest reason was a certain tenderness you have for the prese [...]vation of your Person, some scandalous people stick [...] to call it fear.
Do not judge so Madam; I can assure you it was for very different reasons.
You will give very much satisfaction to the World, if you say what they are.
Why then, to tell you the truth, Madam, I am somewhat troubled with Corns that I cannot without pain wear a riding Boot▪ and then I am strangely subject to the Tooth-ach, which makes me very unsit to lie in the Field, which indeed were the two main Reasons made me refuse the War.
What pity 'tis so brave a Mind should be so unluckily hindred from shewing it self.
I perceive you railly, Madam.
I see Sir, you are a man of a quick apprehension.
How now Daughter? what do you here? my Lord I do not desire your Lordship should make any address [...]s to my Daughter, her Fortune is too humble for your thoughts.
Ay, Madam, is it not? would you be willing to be us'd so? Besides, Madam, no man in the Court offers to speak to me, but he thinks 'tis Love.
He thinks you are so handsome, perhaps, that it is impossible fo [...] any man to look upon you without being smitten.
That may be something, as you say, Madam, but I will never put up this Injury: Marry me to keep me honest, quoth 'a? I'le never endure it, while I ha' breath: — See Madam—where he comes—do but observe him.
I have brought my self into a sweet condition, like an old fool as I am, why could not I remember how many I had Cuckolded my self, and to think I should not be serv'd in the same kind, were to suppose neither Wickedness, nor Justice in the World.
Look, Madam upon this Mischievous Count'nance.
How could I imagine that any of these sort of Women would keep themselves honest three minutes, when they fear'd neither the danger of taking Savin, nor a great Belly? Heaven! what a Condition am I in!—now do I plainly perceive the pain that poor Children indure at the coming of their Teeth, by the coming of my Horns—Oh Phronesia! are you there?
Yes! you old Fumbling Sot I am here.—
Fare you well.
O wicked Phronesia! how have you us'd me? whom have you appointed now to do me the Courtesie?—my Lord Pirrhus—he is of a black Complexion, and that never fails;—My Lord Endymion's a Poet forsooth, and prevails with Sonnets;— and for my Lord Neander,—the Priest convinc'd him the other day, that Adultery was a very great Sin, and that's reason enough for him to lie at Rack and Manger; I am sure my head must ake for't.
Let it ake on, you old Fop, you marry'd me to keep me honest, did you? I'le honest you; I will go instantly and meet 'em all three▪
But I'le follow you close at the heels, and prevent your recreation! —
THE SECOND ACT.
A death from your fair hand, I wou'd embrace.
Ay, th [...]s kind of dying put's a man to no pain, but to be run through the Lungs, or shot through the Body is mighty inconvenient.
Ay, 'faith is it. —
But 'tis honourable.
For my part, I cannot possibly find what honour there is in having Oylet-holes made in a mans body: 'Slife a Mans body is not made to see through, is it? and yet I know some Duelling Coxcombs so often run through, as if their bodies were intended Through-fares for Swords. —
But I hope you have more prudence then to venture that danger.
If I be run through, may I be pickl'd up when I am dead like a Sturgeon, & be seru'd up to the Table of an old [...]surer.
I will say this in your Commendations, [...] presents it self, I believe there is not a man in [...] as your self, I mean so swift of Foot.
Not so, Madam, indifferent, indifferen [...] [...]
But suppose Sir I should stand in need of a [...]mpion.
O Madam! your Eyes will revenge your Quarrels.
Or they must be unreveng'd for you!
Nay, Madam, in a Lady's Cause I can be a Lyon.
When you meet with a Lamb.
Yes, yes, you have Courage, witness the going to The War when you were commanded!
It was not want of that; But who the Devil, that had a plentifull Estate, like me, and might live among these pretty Ladies at the Court, would go to lie withou [...] Sheets, with Stones and Blocks, for Pillows, and be most honourably Lowsie, and damnably n [...]l'd, for a company of ungrateful Fellows, that live Luxuriously at home, and laugh at the Honourable Affairs abroad? and when they have done, they value these Mighty men of War, just as a man doe [...] a Credito [...] that Duns him for Money lent, which he never intended to pay.
What would this old jealous Fop have?
Nay, now I will not hang my self yet: I'le be reveng'd on this Lord first — My Lord—
Pox o' this Rogue, how I scorn any one that's below me, What say you Geron?
Furies pursue him.
How does your Lordship?
Very well! how does your Lady?
'Tis he has done it, a Curse on him.
Why how now? what do you Conjure? what's the matter?
I need not Conjure, I know the Father now.
Why what do'st thou mutter man?
My Lord! why shou'd you ask for my Wife?
Because I am Civil.
Because I am a Cuckold.
Pox on thee, why do'st not speak out?
Your Servant, my Lord, suppose by this time my Lord Endymion has left the Queen.
I beseech you let me wait on your Ladyship
This is the man! 'tis he; Why should he ask for my Wife? Suppose I have a Wife, what's that to him, must he needs be asking for her presently? This Rascal Neander, this Villain that I dare not say any thing to; not because he's Valiant, for then it would not grieve me, but because he's a Lord, which he could no more help, then I can that I am a Cuckold: Here's another Lord too.
O Geron! how is't with you?
Your Servant, my Lord.
How does Phronesia?
Here's another, what Two Lords to make one Cuckold?
What, are you mute? has any Misfortune befaln your Wife?
Too much has befaln me I am sure: 'Sdeath I am Cuckolded and laught at too; you do not well my Lord to use me thus.
[...]O Madam! we shall have a Ball to night, The Queen will entertain his Majesty, and desires your Highness to be ready.
I attend her pleasure.
Hell take that Clogg of mine; how overjoy'd she is to have an opportunity to show her self, and lay baits for young Gudgeons?
Let me Consider how I may look
amiably in the sight of the Ladies; let me see, a Pa [...]ch or two here, and a little more red here — very well; this Face of mine cannot chuse but charm them!
Well Minion, there's a Ball; but let me but see you dare to look upon any man but my self there, and by all the villanies of thy Sex, I'le tear thy flesh from thy bones, and hang thy Skeleton up in a Physick School.
How now Geron, what in passion with your Wife?
O no: and 'please your Highness I cannot be angry with any one I love so well.
Ah, Madam! he threatens to tear my flesh from my bones, and't please your Highness.
Geron! do you know before whom you do this?
Certainly, my dear, thou art distracted, how com'st thou to mistake thy self so; Madam, I have a great Tenderness for her as I have for my own eyes, Heaven knows.
They deserve much alike; his Eyes are Blood-shot, Rhumatick and Blind, and his Wife Ugly, Insolent and Froward.
If thou knew'st, my dear Phronesia, how great a value I have for thee, thou would'st not thus have injur'd me.
So, this is well; but Urania and Evadne let us go wait upon the Queen: Neander, stay you here.
I like not that so well, I love this Evadne most abominably.
Prithee! my Dear, harbour not so ill thoughts of thy loving Husband till death; Geron — you Strumpet, I'le make you know what 'tis to use me thus.
My Lord Neander help, or this old Wizard will murder me; Avant Belzebub.
My Lord! 'Pray take my part against this wicked old Jealous, Toothless, Impotent fellow.
Do you hear Sir! do but dare to think of injuring this Lady,
Alas! dear Sir! you injure me to think that that same Evening that gives pain to you; Can give me pleasure.
THE THIRD ACT.
Are you so stout; Farewell. — Well! I wonder whom the Devil intends I shall marry with? I have been a servant, as they call't; that is, I have Ly'd, and Sworn, and spent Money upon every Lady about the Court, and still am as far from having one of them as the very'st Evnuch is; nay more, for they say Evnuchs have a Trick now a-dayes to please the Ladies Exceedingly: — I was in most hopes of Evadne, and love her best: but the old Priest forbids her to see me, or speak with me; Here she comes! I will force her to hear me—
Dear Apple of my Eye! why this haste? thou hast wounded me, and then thou [...]ly'st me.
There is a sufficient reason for't.
Must then Neander die?
THE FOURTH ACT.
I Was (at least in my own conceit) in probability of winning the sweet Evadne; and now, that not onely her ugly Father, but the Queen too should forbid her to see me or speak to me; it is what I cannot, will not bear: Though Fate it self say, I shall do it, I am resolv'd that old grey Priest and his Mistress the Queen, shall be the subjects of my Revenge: and yet I am not ambitious to show my Valour so far, as to be hang'd for't neither— I think I ha't; If I can do this, 'twill be the sweetest part of my Revenge, to live, and tread, and spit upon their Graves: I have sent for Geron, a Rogue sit for my purpose, for he is Covet [...]us to Extremity, and I have Gold to bribe him, and which is [Page 45] lucky above my Wishes, the Priest and Queen have chec'kd him lately, and countenanc'd his Wife against him, which torments him so, that I believe he would be glad to be hang'd on any terms.— Here he is.
Consume him he's here —
What the Devil does he mean by this? —
Upon my Honour Geron it was; had I not been a stranger to her ill Qualities.
I am afraid you know 'em too well. —
I should never have encourag'd her in her Insolence to you.
What does all this tend to? —
For I am well satisfy'd, a Man, especially an old Man that has had experience of the vanity of the World, ought to have an absolute Dominion over his Wife.
My Lord, this is a Truth! I would you had acknowledg'd sooner; for my abominable Wife, instead of being humbled, is [...]ncourg'd by the Court.
I know though too late now, your Wife is froward, Foolish, petulant, wanton, proud, expensive, disobedient, Ungrateful. —
'Tis too true; but a Plague on him, I am afraid he has
[...][Page 48]Night resum'd his desires, and that Vrania has promis'd it in earnest.
But Vrania will contradict that —
No; she ask'd the Princess liberty to leave the Court a day or two for some private business or other, and is now absent.
Excellent Geron! but how shall we carry this story?
My Wife; who shall still be ignorant of the matter.
Admirably invented: thou shal't have the Talents; besides if thy Wife shou'd discover thee or me, if she be question'd, we'l face her down in't and she shall hang for't.
That Argument prevails with me more then the Talents: whether she betrays us or no, we'l do that my Lord.
With all my heart, Excellent Geron: for the Priest, thou shalt go to him, and subtilly perswade him that the Queen has made an appointment to meet me in the Grotto, and that I to avoid suspition am to be in Womans Cloaths.
My Lord, he'll ne're believe it.
Do thou confirm it by ten thousand Oaths.
That will be dang'rous.
Not at all: But think on the Talents, and the death of thy Wi [...]e man: Thou maist perswade the Priest to meet her to prevent it in a Womans loose habit, and then bring the King to see them.
But the Priest will soon undeceive the King.
No, no, fear not that, the King will be so inrag'd: 'tis ten to one he kills 'em both without Examination; if not, you and I, who will be the first Accusers will swear 'em both down in't; think upon Revenge and Profit.
My Lord—I'le do't about the time of this Even'ng Sacrifice for the Victory of Theander.
What means this?
What's this muttering? Along Sir.
Madam! the Queen and your Highness are expected at the Temple▪ this will be a night of Joy.
Art thou sure of this Phronesia?
Yes, Madam, doubt it not.
I h [...]ve, and she is resolv'd to Circumvent him: Come to the Temple, haste. —
Thus far it goes well; I have with many Oaths and P [...]otestations confirm'd the Priest in the belief that Neander in Womans Cloaths is this night to meet the Queen: it takes admirably— The Talents are my own, and this wife of mine is dead already.
The Third Scene.
Sir, I am content to dye fort, if you see not your self all this to Night.
In the mean time, you'l be content to be secur'd?
Sir with all my heart.
Guard! take Geron, and secure him till further order.
Sir! this dreadful news amazes me!
O Heav'n! methinks I see 'em already in their Lust, yet sure it cannot be; if I find this Accusation false, it had been better for this fellow he never had been born.
Is your Majesty assur'd it was she, or might it be the Queen?
Ha!—her Whispers were like the Queens: Pyrrhus knows I told him so.
Sir, in this Confession of Geron and Neander, and Phronesia, [Page 61] which we, (having found them Tripping in some part of the Story) by threatning Tortures, have extorted from 'em: Your Majesty may fully read the Story of the Innocence of the Queen and Priest, and of the guilt of these Barbarous Wretches.
Peace, wicked Woman!
O vile Woman! 'tis you that have brought me to this! must I be cut in pieces?
Truly loving Husband you must, and be given to Doggs too, but they'l have but ill Commons of you; you will be mighty tough; besides you have so many diseases, that if you were divided into as many pieces as there are hairs in your Beard, each Morsel would own a several Malady: for my part I would not advise any Dog that I have a kindness for to taste of you, for fear of endangering his health.
O thou abominable filthy Hag, if thou wert to be serv'd so first, it would not trouble me.
O Sir, you would have drawn me in, but I shall live to tread upon your Grave! you know it were ill manners for me to be hang'd before my Husband! but how does your Lordship? will you have some Greek-wine to comfort your cold stomack, you'l die with the fear on't else before to morrow morning; but I beseech you, my Lord, do not forget, if you do live till then, to have a Nose-gay, and a pair of white Gloves, with clean Linnen too, for the Execution! Men of quality are always very cleanly when they go to be hang'd.
O! what will become of me? I shall never be able to indure it. Oh! you old cowardly Sot! this comes of your confessing; Rogue.
This may thank your villanous design, with a Curse to you, I was onely drawn in.
You deserve to be hang'd Rascal, and will be so.
'Twill be some comfort to me to have a Lord suffer with me, but 'twould be more honour to me, if that Lord were a wiser man.
O! you old Dog! that I could come at you.
That I could poyson you with my breath, but that 'twould put you out of your pain, which is your immoderate fear.
Peace be here!
You come as seasonably as can be, for the Traytors are at Civil War.
Away, woman, and interrupt 'em not.
I will not take my leave on you, for I intend to see my dear Husband again, at least before you be cut into Messes, Farewell.—
I am now come to speak to you as dying men.
Ay, ay, you old Rascal Geron, whom may that thank?
A villanous Lord that corrupted a poor innocent man as I was: a Curse on him for drawing me in.
A Curse upon an old Cowardly Rogue, to let his fear betray us.
Come, 'tis not now a season to quarrel with one another, but to make peace with the Gods: I am come to prepare you for your deaths, and first Neander I begin with you.
'Pray Sir begin with him, he needs it most! he has alwayes been the most perfidious, impious Wretch.
I need it most? I scorn to be prepar'd any more then your self, if you go to that, with that ugly, pocky Who [...]e-masters face of your own.
Sir, it's no matter what he sayes; he has as much malice to good men, as Whores have to honest Women
I must first begin with you my Lord.
Look there, he knows who has most need on't.
Peace Wisard, peace! do you say this to me?
Peace stupid Wretches, I command you: and confess, and repent of your most horrid Crimes.
Well Sir, I have done; and I do confess from the bottom of my heart — O you old dry, raw-bon'd, wretched, decrepit-Cuckold you, to bring me to this.
Heav'n! what impiety is this?
Ay Sir! you see his Devotion? O! Villainous wicked man.
Sir! hold your Tongue! my Lord, 'tis time now to be sensible of your sad condition.
Ay Sir! so it is, if you knew as much as I do of his wickedness, you'd say so.
Well Sir! I do confess, I'le torment the Rogue
I have many Sins to repent of—First—I have been naught w [...]th that old fellow's Wife.
I think she'l ne're a done prating, they all keep such a coile when they come to die: Wou'd the King wou'd please to forbid all Speeches upon Scaffolds.