Menippeus Rusticus. A Satyrical Epistle: From C. S. in the Country, to his Friend in the City.
THanks, which is all poor Debtors can bestow,
A grateful Heart, my Friend returns to you:
To you whose kindness, tho too much mista'ne,
Invites me kindly up to Town again.
But even Nature here, forbids consent;
For Nature would condemn the Experiment.
The Gluttons Stomach will past Surfeits shun,
[Page 4] Nor can strong Hunger force the Potion down:
No more can I, cloy'd with its filth and noyse,
For the Lewd Town forsake my Country Joy's.
Here a few Books, supply my daily use,
Since like my Friend's and Conversation, chose:
Tho often Read they still will Reading bear;
Not like our modern Lines, or those I send you here.
For Writing's now a chronical Disease,
And some ought less to fear the Plague, then Press.
For tho no Emperick with inverted Eyes,
To the poor Authors swift destruction flyes;
Want, the
old Poets Vulture far exceeds,
And he's by piecemeal starv'd, if no man Reads.
Here, none dare Friendships sacred Virtue doubt,
Tho like
Joynt-Stocks with you 'tis
jobb'd about.
Nor are our pleasures interspers'd with Vice,
Unless in
Nooks, where your
own Darnells rise:
Here
murdring Lords, who rob the poor
Pultron
Of merit and of mercenary
crown,
[Page 5] Seek no concealment, for they know 'tis in vain,
Our Roofs, are like our Hearts, secure and plain:
Nor has the Mobbs wise Vote entrusted me
To Pennyworth out my Country's Liberty;
Nor am I honoured with the
ill good word
Of some in Favour (but designing) Lord
Whose
generous Commendam holds it Just,
I see him cheat my King and slight his Trust;
Nay, tho my Country, or Religion reel,
I dare not hint the inward pangs I feel;
But like a long vex'd Slave to get me ease,
Break like a Brute, through the most sacred tyes:
Nor am I loaden with the
gives Law.
Magnets which far beyond the
[...] draw;
I wrong not any, and were all like me,
None at a Law-Suits price, the Town would see;
Then paltry Nokes in shabby daggl'd Gown,
Like Oars (as once) might Ply for poor Half Crown,
While now he struts, and with a Spanish fleer,
[Page 6] Takes your Six Pounds, and whispers in your Eare;
If ease and Claret will so far permit
He'll read your Brief and sleep upon't at night.
True Locusts on the Greens alone will prey,
But with our quiet, These, take all away;
Purchase our Lands, then get to make our Laws;
Oh! how our Lambs thrive in the Lyons paw's?
Posterity it self may curse their Care,
While, Tinker like,
our Kettles they Repair.
Then why should I, who sacred Virtue love,
Forsake my Cottage and to Town remove;
Want you new Shrieves? faith Sir, I shan' not
Fine
Nor was the noble R yet fixt on mine.
Your Sheriff Pollars, do it with respect,
And to be theirs, we must be Heav'ns Elect,
Lie, tho not Swear, and Cheat howe're precise,
The Christian now's known by his Tongue and Eyes.
And
show you not the Tallies of the Cause,
Y'are no ways qualify'd to break the Laws;
[Page 7] But
THOSE apparent (the cant runs) we intreat ye
Assume the
CHAIR and banter God Almighty;
Swear to be true to the Establish'd Church,
And tho't be
Cedar, Swear 'tis
Birch ▪tis Birch:
For Wiseman never yet took Oath, but when
To his own mind he might that Oath explain,
If otherwise, sure no man that has Ears
But would consider somwhat, ere he Swears,
And Sacrifice his Interest, to his fears.
But would it not provoke all humane spleen,
To view the Heads of these Electing Men,
Where Pat—bustles with his empty pate,
And of peculiar sweat compounds the Magistrate;
Leaves Craving Lady, and the gilt Close-stool,
To make his own
Effigies, A
Fool.
Or Blinking
Br—ly with his Crafty fleer,
Leaves Wife more brittle, then his own crackt ware
To prop up Cause and place a Knave i'th Chair.
Such Men, to their own Calves will surely bow
Mechanick Souls obey Mechanick Sense,
Jack Straw would have a Thrasher for his Prince.
What else gave thick-scull'd
W—lls the golden Chain
And of a Taylor made a Gentleman;
His Wives broad Haunches, never could pretend
The
awkard Thing, their Mistress to commend;
Else some Court Planet, might have bore the shame,
Which now our wise Electors safely claim;
How else could
sneaking AMSTERDAMƲS slip
The Pillory, as once before the Wip.
When naughty Boy from a good Master ran
And stole his
Cash, to found the Gentleman
Yet now they scratch the
quondam beggars Itch,
Lord Rustick Neck and worship Brawny Breech.
Oh
L—n far thy antient Glory's gone,
Turn'd prostitute, and sold to every Clown;
'Tis not the merit of the Patriots Care
But 'tis five hundred Pounds that fill the Chair;
Verrtue or Vice admits not a Dispute,
[Page 9] So frail il Man, his Lust so absolute;
Witness that choice which thou may'st well repent,
A choice by Heaven for thy correction meant:
When Israel, by like headstrong Passion led,
A choice less scandalous in
CORAH made;
The wise Election, on swift ruin drew,
And is not Heaven the
Seat of Justice now?
Perjur'd and false and on a
great Record,
Well do his mighty Pillars call him Lord;
Without a blush well do his slaves Revere
The Dagon they advanced to grace the Chair.
So Nebats Calves, the humble Type of this,
Kept
Gadly Israelites from Schism and Vice:
For solemn Worship had the Saints mislead,
Heaven might have got the Converts, Hell had made
His Wares, the cautious Tradesman to expose,
Into back Shops the Cully'd Chapman draws;
Their suited Lights his prying Eyes deceive,
And keep the Tradesman, and his Trade, alive:
But he more dubious of's conspicuous height,
[Page 10] To show his Colours opens all the Light.
Bribes not,
but rather braves the breath of Fame,
To tell the list'ning World, his growing shame.
So
Aetna stretching wide her fiery Jawes
Frights nature, for she such a prospect shows;
Scarce his own favorites threats, his hands restrain,
From violating all he should maintain:
He swallows Oaths like Pills as Juglers would,
Not for their Health, but to amuse the Crowd.
Presto, 'tis gone; and yet
Dissect his Heart,
There's not its track in the minutest Part:
Then who can urge its obligation, were
Not the first shadows of the Thing appear.
Yet see, the pious Pageant stalks about
Like Jew, to find his lost Messiah out.
But first like Jew, he well resolves to sind
Nothing to fix the
Weather-Cock his Mind.
Divine
CAMELEON! thou thy Colour takes t
From every Priest, and every step thou mak'st
True in the
Morning to thy
solemn Oath;
To
Pride at Noon,
but false at Night to both.
Next Morn, if kindly sleep has purg'd thy Brain,
[Page 11] To nothing true But the old round again.
The cullied Tribe that raised
THEE, hardly know
Whether th'art TƲRK, MAHOMETAN, or JEW.
Rejoicce Religious Patriots,
Vox Populi Vox Dei.
[...]
Rejoice,For now the Peoples, is the Almighty Voice;
The Proverbs sacred—or the Authors lie,
He wants the sketches of Divinity:
But Patriot, he is, a stanch one too,
Hear how his Heroes, swear him
Litchfield Blew;
You Laugh, and think they have mista'n the place
When 'twas but Zeal, that led them in the race.
For name a Bishop, and they faster run
With sceptick Zeal, to pull the Dagon down,
Then when at Michaelmas a Poll comes on:
And should I leave, my friend, what I possess,
In Country shades, to taste such trash as this?
Is chatting Treason o
[...]er a Dish of Tea
Like living in the Country lov'd and free?
What tho Republick Notions be the Theam,
Which City Boobies, with authentick Hem,
Applaud, and hug me dearly to maintain:
[Page 12] Straight the grave Cod's-Head, takes me home to Dine,
Kills me with Chatt▪ and Poysons me with Wine,
Which to complete, (for I was born to die)
He drinks fresh Healths to
New-Born Liberty.
O then what Visions swell his Rolling Eyes,
While his Dilirium, in a Frantick Dress,
Paints him
SƲCCESSION just
expir'd or
slain,
And kindly turns (the better' way) his Brain.
May Country Converse, howe're crude or dull,
Be still my plague, e're thus I play the Fool.
But since that fate is in my power to flie,
I'le further wish my generous Friend and me.
May no Divisions rend the weighty Peace
Which
WILLIAM'S Arms, through danger and distress,
Procur'd those foes who yet regret his ease;
May his great Smiles fall kindly on the Just,
And only honest Hearts
[...] be plac'd in Trust.
May you, with me, despise the V
[...]tious Town,
This is a wish which I will always own.
FINIS.