HEaring that something had been suggested, to your honour as to my judgement and pra­ctise, from the consideration of the appea­rances of old light in you, I was engaged to give in this epitomie, humbly craving your favourable construction, and judgement, as you find it consonant with truth, I dare not say my former trading in those severall formes, that I manifested to your honour I had been in, was not the products of divine light, for Gods way of manifestation is by degrees, and he brings his people through the wildernesse of tryalls and tempta­tions to Canaan, yea many times through by waies, that so their experience may cause them to break forth into admi­ration, at his wonder bringing them through the belly of hell &c. I shall therefore God willing manifest to your ho­nour, the manner of Gods dealing with me, more particu­larly in every form.

My manner of education in my youth I believe was not unknown to you, which was after the strictest manner of the then times, with those commonly called puritans, whose word was then to me, as the prophet speakes, as a very lovely song, which begat in me a desire to teach, and to know the way that the Lord hath excorpted; which I was ignorant of, and in my enquiring, I had then presented that the holy spirit was the evidence of that way; But when by a particular application, I came to enquire whe­ther I had this evidence yea or no, and what was the to­kens of it; it was presented unto me by some that desire to pray, and to be instant therein, and to refrain from bad company and vices, was certain tokens of it; and thus I rested satisfied in such actions done, and as my qualifica­tions eb'd and flow'd, so my comforts eb'd and flow'd, and [Page 2]when clouded by sins, I immediately questioned my conditi­on, ruminating upon a text that the foundation of God stands sure, by which I was brought to conclude that I was not upon that foundation, but upon my own righteous­nesse, which was filthy rags, because so wanting, which cast me into a sad condition, to know the true foundation I desired; But to pray for it I was averse, yet frequent in reasoning according to my weak abilities, and desirous to reason with all that seemed any whit religious, amongst whom I received as I thought some glimps of comfort for a time, from that of the Apostle, viz. by this we know that we are translated from death to life, because we love the bre­thren, when I was confident I loved, which bore me untill I began to consider, who they were in whom the Apostle concludes that knowledge of translation, and who the brethren were, and then could easily conclude that I had not in my condition one dram of interest in that text, not knowing by an infallible testimony the brethren, nor my self qualified as the parties speaking, and so by some instru­ments, was carried to a text in John, he that believeth shall be saved, If I believed it was a certain testimony, this I laid hold of untill my God was pleased to cast me upon the se­rious consideration of that wonderfull place of Paul, 1 Cor. 5.11. For other foundations can no man lay, save that which is laid, which is Jesus Christ, and if any man build upon that foundation, &c. from whence through goodnesse I came seriously to reason thus, If I must build upon Christ only, then my building upon my own believe­ing, was matter for the fire, for the day of tryall would de­clare it, which put me upon a serious consideration, what was the true way of building upon Christ, to petition the Fa­ther for the discovery of it, I trust not, though I earnestly thir­sted after it, for I could not with confidence call God Fa­ther, whilst contemplating upon this, my God was pleased to let me hear, that still voice of his, directing me the way in generall, that the only way of building upon Christ, was to build upon his words, which must judge us at the last day, which set my cogitations on work, what scrip­ture told me I was of that number for whom Christ died, it was presented to me that he died for sinners, and I was [Page 3]one, and in confirmation. 1 Tim. 1.15. was alledged, that Christ Came into the world to save sinners, but then reasoning with some that he came to save some sinners not all, considering which I was at as great a losse as before, not knowing by an infallible testimony that I was of that number for whom Christ died, which led me to a univer­sall proposition for comfort, which I was altogether averse to, it being so contrary to that I had been taught, and espe­cially considering two texts of scripture, the one the 2 Tim, 3.15, 16, 17, that the holy scripture is able to make wise to salvation through believing, and is so profitable, that the man of God may be perfect throughly finished, &c. the other the 1 Thes. 4.5. That the gospel comes with much assurance, which necessarily must be from the word of God, and not from the wisdome of man, which induc'd me through grace to lay hold on the generall doctrine, especially considering the ill consequences of the particular doctrine then presented unto me▪ As

First, If Christ hath not died for all then thus, no gospel for some men, contrary to Luke 2.10. Isai. 49.6. Jud. 3.

Secondly, then infidelity is not the condemning sin contrary to Mark. 16.16. Iohn 3.18, 19.

Thirdly, then the servants of the Lord are commanded to preach lies to some men, Mark 16.15. 1 Tim. 2.7. in being commanded to declare Christs death for all, when it were but for some. see 1 Tim. 4.10, 11.

Fourthly, Then the Apostles did not speak truth, when they said, God would have all men to be saved. 1. Tim. 2.4. and for that end ordered remission of sins to be preacht, Luk, 24.47. Act. 10.36. Act, 13.38. That Christ took away the sins of the world, Ioh. 1.29. that he tasted death for every man, Heb. 2.9. that he is the saviour of all men, 1 Tim. 4.10. that he gave himself a ransome for all. 1 Tim. 2.6. that he bought false prophets and false teachers, that bring in damnable heresies, and upon them­selves destruction, 2 Pet. 2.1. that he sanctified those that trample under foot the son of God, and count the bloud of the covenant an unholy thing, all which scriptures must be raised out of the book of God, and counted as fa­bles if Christ hath not died for all men.

[Page 4] Fifthly, If he died not for all men, then his rendering vengeance in flaming fire at the great and dreadfull day, shall not be, for not believing the gospel, but because there was none for them to believe, contrary to 2 Thes. 1.8.

Sixthly, If he died not for all men then it's no sin, but a virtue, for some men not to believe it, because if they should believe that he died for them, when he did not, they would believe a lye.

Seventhly, To deny Christs death for all men, is to call in question Christs own words, Rev. 22.17. in his gene­ral inviting poor lost man.

The serious consideration of those absurdities, with ma­ny others presented to me, clearly following a limited go­spel, and knowing assuredly, that no absurdities followed upon the truth, I through the goodnesse of my dear Lord, cloased with that despised doctrine of his, despised indeed of men, but chosen of himself, that the riches of his love, and goodnesse might be manifested without respect of per­sons, in which my heart was presently established, having his word to testifie to my conscience, then my building was upon him the rock, against which I am sure no storms nor floods can prevail, if I make use of those sweet givings forth of himself, in holding fast my confidence firm to the end, for I have not the reasonings of men, nor no inherent qualifications, but his own word, in and from which I have a cloud of witnesses, of his dying for me, it that he dyed for all men, and his end therein declared. 2 Cor. 5.15. that he died for all, that those which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him that died for them, and rose again. And this is the condemnation under the gosel, not because Christ hath not died for man, nor be­cause man doth not live by Christ, but because man doth not live to Christ, there is this difference betwixt living by Christ, and living to him; all men live by Christ, for by him all things consist, Col. 1.17. yet none live to him, but such as are alive in their obedience, and such only he accounts his friends. Joh. 15.14. and promiseth his pre­sence. Ioh. 14.21. and his and the Fathers aboad. Joh. 14.23. to such he promiseth further discoveries of himself, and makes known whatsoever the Father hath made [Page 5]known unto him. Ioh. 15.15. the making forth of which love I have in some measure enjoyed, and if I had been more obedient, I believe I should have enjoyed more, yet not for my obedience, but because God hath promised who hath said, I will do this for the house of Israel, yet not for your sakes, yet will I be sought unto by you, and hath also promised, that he that will do my will shall know my doctrine; yet not as a recompence for his doing, God hath no more said he will save any people for doing, then he hath said he will save them without doing, for he him­self will have all the glory of mans salvation, and of mans doing, because God himself finds all the matter, he is the authour of our salvation, and the authour of our abilities by which we do, it is he that gives us in the behalf of Christ, not only to enable us to believe, but also to suffer for his sake, which promise of abilities no man can claim that suffers as an evill doer, though many times he is neerer then his promise, which through the riches of his grace, I have had experience of, by which grace I have obtained an assurance of mercy, who am least in all my Fathers house, not worthy of the crumbs that fall from his table, much lesse of those sweet smiles from him­self, speaking peace to my poor soul, sweetning all condi­tions unto me, with freenes of satisfaction in all sufferings, though I have been a backslider, and thereby have occasi­oned the way of truth to be evill spoken of, and brought the people of God under shame and reproach, yet have ob­tained mercy, though I was with Asap, envious at the pro­sperity of the wicked, seeing no bands in their death, but had more then heart could wish, though the righteous wanted, and were troubled every morning, I concluded I had changed my heart in vain, thus was my temptations, yet from those the Lord hath delivered me, by revealing his Son in me, and by him discovering to me, as to the pro­phet, Psal. 73.17, 18. both the end of the righteous and the wicked, and now through the eternall light guiding me in that which some call heresie, so worship I the God of my Fathers, believing all things recorded in the law, & the prophets, in which are the reasons of my believing.

First, That Christ took upon him the iniquity of all that [Page 6]went astray, Isai. 53.6. Rom. 3.23, 24. which was the first doctrine that Peter preacht, Act. 10.34, 35, 36. and that Paul and Barnabas preacht, Act. 13.47. 1 Cor. 15.3. The Apostle when he came to the Corinthians, which were Idolaters, he did not tell them Christ died for an e­lect number, and if they were of that number, Christ died for them, but he tells them first of all that Christ died for them.

Secondly, I find this Christ appointed by the Father, for a light to the world to the Gentiles, to them that sit in dark­nesse.

Thirdly, I find that he doth enlighten every man that comes into the world. Ioh. 1.9. he that denies that Christ enlightens every man, doth in effect deny Christ to be the true light, as compared with verse the 8. besides every mans experience in this particular, there no man that sins but immediately after, if not at present, he hath a kind of secret tincture in his brest, telling him what he ought not to do or have done which discovers that the light hath been there.

The next particular considerable is what this light hath taught me, First, What God is in himself, Secondly, what he is in the manifestations of himself.

First, That he is infinite in himself which is considera­ble, in the unsearcheablenesse of his wisdom and way, The manifestations of himself are clearly seen, by the things that are made, that they could not be without a beginner, that this beginner is wise, in his orderly placing things, and powerfull, which is manifested by thunder, and lighte­ning, and dreadfull appearances of that nature, besides al­tering and changing, throwing down and setting up, be­yond the reach of reason, even to admiration, and that he is loving in causing the rain to fall, and the sun to shine, and fruitfull seasons, filling mans heart with joy and gladnesse, the consideration of this infinitenesse discovered in his works, demonstrates to poor creatures, their own nothing­nesse, which begets in them a holy reverence of the maje­sty of God, from the sight of his fulnesse seriously considered, carries the soul to a consideration of its own wants, and of what God hath promised, comparing which promises, [Page 7](viz.) what he hath manifested begetts a confidence that this infinite God is faithfull, which puts a poor soul in­to a capacity to pray, without which no man can do with­out sin, and to lay stedfast hold on the promises of love, of life, of liberty, of priviledges, of mutuall relation, of di­vine communion, all which are manifested in the promi­ses of the Father of mercies, and God of all Consola­tion.

Of love, in giving his Son, and by him manifesting an open door into the holyest.

Of life, to those that go in by that door opened.

Of liberty, of walking into that new and living way, in­to the holiest.

Of priviledges, of knowing their being freed from the hand writing of ordinances that were against them who walk in that way opened, and of having God with them, Christ with them, abiding with them. Joh. 14.23. Sim­pathizing with them in sufferings, and comforting them by the Angel of his presence, revealing the mind of the Fa­ther to them, opening living fountains of water, with a ma­nifestation of liberty to draw with joy, out of the wells of salvation, which makes the faithfull of the Lord joyfull a­bove their fellowes, wiser then the Rabies of the world, though fools for Christs sake, yet instruments of salvation to them that believe, see the freenes of those living fountains bears up their heads above all troubles and fears, causing them to mount up like eagles, to run and not be weary, to labour and not faint.

Of mutuall relation, having God for their Father by promise, and Christ our elder brother.

And of divine communion, in enjoying fellowship with the Father, and the Son Jesus Christ, 1 Ioh. 1.3. which all men may enjoy, that in love receive what is declared of and by those divine beings, the consideration of these promises in which are contain'd those divine manifestati­ons, leads poor souls to a clear sight of the conditions, up­on which these graces promised are intended.

His love, in giving his Son, and manifesting through him a door of life opened is absolute, his manifestation of liberty, of priviledge, of mutuall relation, of divine com­munion; [Page 8]all upon conditions of obedience of universall obedience, for such only know Christ that so obey him, 1 Ioh. 2.4. And such only love him, that yield a univer­sall obedience to him, Ioh. 14.21, 23. and such only he accounts his friends. Joh. 15.14. this begets a serious consideration what Christ hath commanded, which carries us to the counsell of God for direction, and as we desire to manifest love to God, and to the Son Jesus Christ, who hath loved us, if God requires us to speak often one to ano­ther, we ought not to neglect it, and if God gives us the spirit of discerning thereupon, as he promises between the righteous and the wicked, Mal. the 3.18. then in duty we ought to praise him, and if God requires us to separate from those that are not his people, and to joyn with those that are his people, in whom God dwells, Isa. 57.11. 2 Cor. 6.17. then we ought not to neglect it, and if God manifests himself a Father thereupon, as he promises, still we ought to sound forth his praise, which is our reasonable service, and if God manifests unto us, that baptisme of believers justifies him, and the resecters of it rejects Gods counsell against themselves, Luk. 7.29.30. who can forbid water that they should not be baptized, Act. 10.48. and so likewise for walking in all the ordinances of the Lord, with reference and godly fear, we ought with comfort and confidence make our request known unto God, who to the comfort of poor despised creatures, is in heaven, and sees all the actions of men, from whose pre­sence there is nothing hid, not a hair of the head of any of his people falls to the ground without his providence, their sufferings and the reason of their sufferings, whether for righteousnesse sake, or as evill doers, and to the com­fort of the righteous will ere long make all naked, when the Son is manifested and acknowledged, so he the only potentate the king of kings, and lord of lords, who only hath mortality, dwelling in the light, where no mortall eyes can approach, whom God will send to refresh his people, at the times of the restitution of all things, which God hath spoken by the mouth of all his prophets, since the world began, Act. 3.19.20, 21. which through grace fills me with inward comfort, though I bestript of [Page 9]all outward enjoyments, yet I have an assurance of an e­ternall inheritance, which the world can neither give, nor take away, which the Lord the righteous judge will give me at his appearing, when his poor despised ones shall be made full and compleat participators of what the Lord hath promised by his servants the prophets and Apostles, by whose writings, the mystery hid from ages and generati­ons is manifested in such legible characters, whereby when men read, they may understand. Eph. 3.4. which com­forts the hearts of the Lords servants, filling them with all riches, of assurance, of understanding, in their acknow­ledging the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ, to the which acknowledgement. the God of praise, and love, bring all those that set their faces Sion ward, that in the rich enjoying of assurance, may finish their course with joy, he coming the earnest of their inheritance, untill the redemption of the purchased possession, when the righ­teous shall receive the end of their hope, the salvation of their souls▪ And so much in brief, I was sollicited to signifie unto your honour, touching the manner of Gods dealing with my poor soul, now humbly craving your serious con­sideration of the particulars herein, being willing to re­ceive information, wherein I see either in judgement or practise, and the God of peace, and love, give you under­standing in all his wayes which are pleasanter then all that this world can afford.

I shall only give you an account in a word or two of my practice in opposing the Clergy, which I am sure you have had various reports of.

First, I never spake to any of them by way of question, untill they had done, except two: and what I said to those two, was in vindication of present ordinances, openly vio­lated by them.

Nor I never laid hands upon any, nor abetted any that did, though I have heard so much hath been suggested, to your honour, but alwaies on the contrary, desired peace and peaceable reasoning, yet strongly endeavouring by reason to vindicate that which I apprehended to be truth.

The reasons of this my practise, may it please your ho­nour was these.

[Page 10] First, I am commanded to follow the example of my dear Saviour, and the example of his servants, so far as they followed him, I find him disputing amongst the Do­ctours, and asking them questions, and taking his oppor­tunities of speaking amongst multitudes, I find the ser­vants, as Stephen, and Apollo, and Silas, and Peter, fol­lowing his example, and it was Pauls manner, Act. 17.2. to go in the Synogogues on the Sabbath day; and reason with them [...] of the Scripture, which God is my witnesse, besides many hundreds, I have practised with much meek­nesse though I have received many taunts and reproaches from them, unbecoming men of their profession, besides sundry of their endeavours to set the tumultuous about my ears, as I am able to manifest, yet I rendered them not e­vill, though I have by their occasion often undergone stroakes, buffetings, and stoning, and my garments torn from me, all which I value not, because I know my God hath registred my sufferings, I gave no manner of unbesee­ming retorts at O [...]ndle, when Mr Resbury came into the publick place, and called to Mr Morley, a gentleman of Northamptonshire, whilst preaching (being then in the pulpit, which was at that time free by act of Parliament,) uttering with a loud voice contumelious threatnings un­comely to be mentioned by any that professe the name of Christ, but a patient suffering is comely to, and amongst the people of God an adorning to the gospell of their pro­fession, to bear about alwayes in their bodies the dying of the Lord Jesus, is their treasure in earthen vessels, and therefore shall commit these the series of my understand­ing and practise to your serious consideration, being wil­ling through grace to go through good report and evill, and to suffer any thing that God may have the glory, and what of it deserves the light to let it have it: which is all at present from him who is the unworthiest of truths lovers, yet shall take leave to subscribe my self:

I know I shall be the wonder of the Churches abroad, and of all others that have been witnesses to my opposing the doctrine of imposition of hands, when they hear of my entring into the practise of it, it may be some will censure me as unstable: be it so, I had rather be accounted unsta­ble, then stable in opposing truth, and therefore shall brief­ly give to serious consideration the reasons of my submit­ting to imposition of hands, now practised in many places upon all baptized beleevers.

First, Because ever since I opposed it, I have found a coldnesse growing upon me as to the things of God.

Secondly, I have found a greater debility in my self to withstand temptations.

Thirdly, because I could find no other way to claim that great promise of the gift of the spirit, by which is convaid the assurance of all the other promises, but by following the example of the holy men of God in that which did immedi­ately proceed the enjoyment of the spirit.

Fourthly, Because I find imposition of hands joyned to the doctrine of baptismes by a Conjunction copulative. Heb. 6. and according to the practise of the Apostles, im­mediately to proceed the enjoyment of the promise intealed upon the chearfull reception of the doctrine of baptismes of water and afflictions.

Fifthly, I find it an interposed practise of the Apostles immediately after baptisme, before the saints enjoying the spirit promised.

Sixthly, Because mortification of sin guidance in the way of truth, helps to prophecy directions to prayer, all convai'd through the spirit which leads into all truth.

Seventhly, Though I find some had the spirit without it, yet I have no grounds to expect it but in Gods ordinary way of communication.

Eighthly, Because I find imposition of hands kept alive successively from the Apostle through the darkest mists of popery even after baptisme was changed, as to the right subjects by the subtilty of Fidus the priest, this practise hath been ever since kept alive by the Bishops hands upon their couzened babes.

Ninthly, Because I find a greater experience of the in­dwelling [Page 12]of God in those that practise it upon baptized be­lievers, then in the opposers of it, more frequent in duties both at home and abroad, more love in them one towards another, more watchfull over one another, more zealous for truth, more sympathying one with another in sufferings, If I had no other reasons to convince me of truth in the pre­sent practise of imposition of hands then I have experienced in these latter, These only would have engaged me no lon­ger to have opposed it.