Don JUAN LAMBERTO: OR, A COMICAL HISTORY OF The late Times.
CHAP. 1. How Cromwel Soldan of Britain dyed, and what befel his Son the Meek Knight.
NOw had Cromwel the dread Soldan of Britain through the importunity of death, with much unwillingness left this World, and his Son Ricardus, sirnamed for his great valour the Meek Knight, reigned in his stead: When loe fortune having now a mind to eat sauce with his meat, resolves to gather this great Mushrome, and lay him in pickle. There were at that time in England many good Knights who had been greatly despised and evilly intreated by the Soldan in his life time, who sought all advantages to reck their most [...]implacable malice on his Son the Meek Knight who was placed on the Throne in the room of his Father: The chief of these was Sir Lambert, the Knight [Page] of the Golden Tulep; One of an eager and revengeful [...]pirit; and beside that very ambitious, so that he not onely sought to be revenged on the Meek Knight for the injuries he had received from his Father, but to make himself chief Soldon also; however he was very slye and close, and would by no means discover himself until that by his fair carriage he had won to his side made many of the chief Soldans Knights, who had him in great honour and esteem, for that they took him to be a right cunning and valorous Champion.
CHAP. II. Of the Birth of Sir Vane, Knight of the most mystical Allegories.
WHen nature by true consanguinity had created him in his Mothers Womb, she dreamed to be conceived of a Firebrand, that should set on fire her Mansion House, which dream she long concealed and kept secret until her painful burden was grown so heavy that she was scarce able to endure it: so finding at length an oportunity to reveal it to her husband, she revealed her dream in this manner, ‘My most honourable Lord, you know that I am your true and lawful Wife, yet never was in in hope of Child till now, or that by me your name should survive: Therefore I conjure you by the pleasures of your youth, and the dear and natural love you bear unto the Infant conceived in my Womb, that either by art, wisodome, or some other inspiration you calculate upon my trouble; some dreams, and tell me what they are; For night by night no sooner doth sweet sleep seize upon my sences, but I dream that I am conceived of a dreadful firebrand, the which shall set on fire our Mansion House:’ To which her husband answered in this maner, ‘My most [Page] dear and beloved Lady, what art or learning can perform with all convenient speed shall he accomplished; for never shall rest take possession of my heart, nor sleep close up the closets of my eyes, till I understand the signification of this troublesom matter.’
Thereupon he travelled through many Deserts and Wildernesses, hoping to meet with the Hermitage of some Inchantress, but he could find none: For then Yilil the Necromancer dwelt not in the Strand, neither were there any Sorcerers in Southwark; Whereupon seeing no other means to attain his desired end, he went and bought him a Fortune-Book and a Bale of Dice, and carried them home to his beloved Lady, who with great earnestness expected his return for two reasons, first out of curiosity, and then because that supper was like to be spoiled. Being return'd home, and having refresh'd his weary body with corporal Food; as he was sitting at the Table, after the cloath was taken away, he called for the said Fortune-Booke, and [...]aused his Wife to throw three Dice, under the Philosopher Pythagoras, who directed them to this following saying of Haly the Conjurer, whi [...]h gave them full satisfaction of the nature of the Infant. The Uerses were these.
CHAP. III. How the Knight of the mysterio [...]s Allegories grew up, and how he put strife between his Mother and her Maids, and caused his Father and Mother to go together by the ears.
VVHile both the Father & the Mother were scanning what the meaning should be of this same Oracle; The Childe himse [...]fe gave still an exposition more and more cleare as he grew in yeares: 'Tis true that when he was a Childe he acted but the Childs part, and exercised his Talents on more mean subjects, though hee were not unmindful of his work in what ever Spheare he mov'd: He began with his Mothers Maides, between whom and his Mother hee made perpetual discords and dissentions, by accusing either the Maide to the Mistress, or the Mistress to the Maid; nor could he endure to see his Father and Mother in peace, using the same policies to set them also at variance, which he did with so much dexterity, that one might perceive how he made it his study: What ever he knew his Fa [...]her dislik'd in his Mother, that he made her continually acting: and what his Mother approv'd not of in his Father, of that he render'd his Father alwayes most guilty.
CHAP. IV. How his Father sent him to School, and how he there set the Boyes against their Master, and bred differences between the Master and his Wife.
BUT when these tricks of the young stripling were reveal'd to his Father, he bethought himself of ridding [Page] this little vermin out of his house: Wherefore he caused great search to be made after a worthy Pedagogue: and at length one was found and brought unto him: ‘To whom the Father of the stripling thus said, Sir Pedagogue, I have here a Son whom I woul [...] have thee to instruct, and bring up with great care; the [...]efore if thou wilt take him, and keep him seven years, and give him such instruction as thou art able, I will after that greatly advance thee and thy generation.’ Sir Pedagogue made the Father of the youth a great bow, and a most obsequious leg, and said unto him, Sir Knight, I will perform all thy commands. Thereupon he took the stripling home, and endoctrinated him with very exceeding paines. But long had not the young Lad bin there, but according to his usual course he sowed such seeds of dissention among the Boyes, that instead of their former obedience and respect, they exercised now nothing but rebellion and disobedience: It was enough for the Master who before could frown every Schollar he had into a loosness, now to beseech them to lay down their Brick-brats. His Wife too, who had before so long been loving to him, now scolds at him like a Butter-whore, and he hates her that so lately was so dear to him. Fathers complaine▪ the Master fumes, the Mistress rants▪ the Husband vexes; in a word, all things are so much out of order, that Sir Pedagogue preferring his present peace before his future advancement resolves to carry back this primum mobile of mischiefe, for such he soon discovered him to be. to his own Parent, not being able him else longer to endure the trouble of his vexatious contrivances: When the ancient Seer beheld his Son so soon return'd unto him he said unto the Pedagogue, What are the seven years expir'd already? Then said the Pedagogue, I well know Sir Knight, that the seven years are not yet expired; but so great do I find the capacity of your Son, that should I keep him as my poor gymnasyolum, I should both wrong you▪ and injure the [Page] Youth: Therefore have I restor'd him to you again, that you may provide for him according to his wonderful and most forward genius. The crasty Fox his Father too well knew the disposition of his young Cub, therefore said he unto the Pedagogue, O no! This is not the cause of my Sons so soon return, I fear something worse, and therefore I conjure thee to tell me the truth: Was hee not wont to set thee and thy Boys together by the eares? Did she not cause much strife and contention between thee and thy Wife, so that neither thou, nor they, nor she could rest in quiet for him: To which the Pedagogue made answer, that since he must confess the truth, 'twas even as he had said, and no otherwise. At which words of the Pedagogue, the old man shook his head as if he would have shaken his teeth out of his mouth▪ for he was very sorrowful to hear of the evil courses which his yong Son p [...]oceeded in.
CHAP. V. How Sir Vane sent his Son to the King's School, and of the tumults which he raised there by his Sorceries; how he plotted with the other Boys to breake the Preceptor's neck, and of his Allegory.
SIR Vane having had so ill success with his Son in one place. resolves to send him to another, where he might be more severely look'd after: He had not thought long, but he thought of the Kings Schoole: Now it so came to pass, that at that time there lived there a Gyant, who was a very cruel and imperious Dominator over the buttocks of youth, one that spared none, but very grievously and sorely lashed all alike: he was hight Sir O beston, whose School was liks Kalybs Rock, where you heard nothing all day long, but the screeks and ruful groans of [Page] children and boyes elaborately corrected. Hither the little Fox came, his Father intending that he should be in this place terrified out of all his designs: But what mortal is able to stop the course of the splendiferous Son, who can quell the raging Boreas, or change the wilde nature of the roaring Lion? Even so impossible was it to drive back the ill nature of this Youth, though it were with Pitch-forks; wherefore he went on in his old trade, putting in practise his wonted spells and magical words: the effects whereof did presently appear, for in a little while the Schollars were all in an uproar, some would only study on holy dayes, and play upon working dayes, others would begin at the end of their Books, and read toward the beginning, saying it was the best way, and that the Preceptor was a Dunce: Then because that one of the Preceptors knowing the dangerous consequence of these innovations, st [...]ove to oppose them, young Sir Vane contrives with them how to break his neck, and so ordered the matter that they should follow the Preceptor to the top of the stairs, and throw him down headlong. But the plot being discovered, he was called to a very strict account. Sirrha quoth the Gyant of the Kings School, what fury hath possessed thy overwhelmed mind, proud princock thus to adventure thy feeble contrivances against the violence of my strong arm: The Youth though confounded with the threatning words of the Gyant, durst not deny what he knew was so well known; and therefore he sought to put it off with an Allegory, for he was full sore afraid of the Gyant, who had then in his hand a great Tree which he mannaged with as much dexterity, as if it had been a Ferula; Sir Gyant, quoth he, I do deny that ere I advised any Person to break the Preceptors neck. How quoth the Gyant, can you deny what is already proved to your face? Then answer'd the youn Sorcerer I am not rightly understood, for I perswaded them not to break the substantial neck of the Preceptor, but the invisible neck [Page] of his pride. Then quoth the Gyant, Oh Uarlet! hast thou such fine excuses so early for thy mischief? but the shall stand thee in little stead. Then the Gyant caused his breeches to be taken down, and his shixt to be taken up, and with his Tree so nimbly bestirred himself, and laid such vehement blows upon his flesh, that they seemed to shake the Earth. There quoth the Gyant, take the deserved reward of thy treasons, and be gone from hence thou wicked and destructive vermine, for I will no more endure thee, since I have now broken thy charms wherewith thou didst intend to have enchanted my Castle.
CHAP. VI. How he was sent into Nova Anglia, and how he prevailed there also by his Sorceries, how he was thrust out again by the people of that place, and what the Seer Cotton said to him at his departure.
AFter that the Gyant of the Kings School had thus expelled him, he betook himself to the Court, but because he could be pleas'd with nothing, he also took very great distast at the government of the king who then reigned in Britain. Wherfore he began to give his inchanted Cup about, and many drank thereof and were poysoned so that there appeared great signs of future contentions and confusions among those of the Court who were the Kings subjects by reason of his coming thither, which when his father saw, he greatly feared the inconveniencies which might arise from the sorceries of his Son, wherefore he contrived how he might send him out of the Land. Therefore he devised with the King that he might be sent away unto Nova Anglia as Governour of that place; Now so it was that at that time the people of that Countrey, as most people that are but newly seized in [Page] their possessions lived in great peace and quiet, and served the God of their Country with exceeding unity, but no sooner was Sir Vane come thither, but he caused a wonderfull alteration of affaires among the people. He had delivered into his hands all the chief Castles of the Countrey, so that he commanded with a very great controuls; Then said Sir Vane unto the people of the Land, is it fit that yee should maintain a company of idle persons here only for talking unto you in your Temples once a week; are not yee your selves able to do as much? yea and more if you would set your selves thereunto, why should you then part with such a considerable share of the swe [...]t of your browes, and that upon so triviall a score; When the people examin [...]d these things, they seemed very plausible at first, whereupon some of them deny'd to pay the Priest his due, others drew away the people from their Priests, and instructed them in the Fields, and their private Houses, having the Temples in great contempt and derision, which when the Priests perceived, they were greatly displeased, and cursed the people, then the people cursed them, so that in a short while their private animosities brake forth into publick rage one against the other. When the Elders of the Land saw the confusion which was likely to happen, they resolved to remove the cause of their mischief; therfore they went to Sir Vane and sharply rebuking him, bid him prepare to be gone out of their Countrey, for that they had provided a ship, & a Coach to carry him to the sea. Sir Vane who was an errant Coward, durst not deny them, so they plac'd him in a Cart, causing him to sit down on an old Trunck on that part which is over the Horse; after this said the Elders unto the people, this is he that hath caused all this mischiefe among us; Then the people follow'd him, hooping and hollowing, not ceasing to throw dirt and stones at him till he was got into the Ship; The Seer Cotton seeing him departed said unto the people, let us now return with joy that this Uiper hath left us, for [Page] he is the bane of Nations, nor can any greater unhappiness befall a Land than for him to set his foot there. When with tears in his eyes he cryed out Oh England, England, better is it that that Ship should perish with the Master, and all the Marriners, then that that young Man whom thou didst breed should return unto thee again.
CHAP. VII. How Sir Vane was honoured by the Priest of the Temple of Blind Zeal, and how he was by the said Priest anointed Knight of the Order of the most misterious Allegories.
AFter this it came to passe that when the Priest of the Temple of Blind Zeal heard of the great fame of Sir Vane, and of the opinions which he held, he thought the time long till he could come to interparley with him. For said he to himself our Religion is built upon the bases of anarchy and confusion, to the establishing of which all the imaginations of this Mans brains do tend; Wherefore the Priest sent unto him two fellows that were shabby, whose Shooes were tyed with packthread, and in whose eyes Cuffs were as the abominations of the Heathen, who calling for the Man of the House, presented him with this Epistle.
The Priest of the Order of Blind Zeal, to the most mischievous of men Sir Vane, high in his imaginations, low in his deserts, and most imperious in his Councel.
HAving lately heard of thy great virtues so agreeable with the Heresies which I professe, according to the dictates of that powerful Goddesse whose chief Priest I am, I could not choose but send unto thee these two slovenly [Page] fellows partly to confirme thee, and partly to scrape acquaintance with thee. I do find that thou dost imitate Mahomet very well and dost indeavour to root up one Religion by letting in another to overpower it. Stay ye [...] but a little while, and I will be with thee and help thee with my exhortations, in the mean time be kind unto those two whom I have sent unto thee, for the one is a Tinker, the other a Currier, but both great Deceivers. Farewell.
When Sir Vane had read this Epistle, he was then also covetous of the acquaintance of the High Priest, and immediately sent for him; when he was come, they discoursed together, and when they had so done, they were filled with joy at the sight of each other: For he talked unto the High Priest in most high and misterious Allegories, saying unto him that Magistracy was the Throne and Seat of the Beast. That the Rulers of the Earth must be brought at last to serve him and his faction; That his people are not to be subject to the Iudicials of Mo [...]es; That the new Creature is faith, which translates a Man out of the naturall into the spirituall body, and is called his new Creature state; That all Ministers that have the Father and the Son, need not run to the Majestrate for maintenance. That all Ministers that upheld Stéeple Houses were the relicts of Popery; That the fal [...] of Adam was only a type of the instability of fortune. That the Devill is the universall worldly spirit, exercising dominion and rule under various formes and administrations of government. That learning and Universities are of dangerous consequences in a well order'd government.
When the High Priest heard him speak these things he marvelled very much, and greatly praised him, for that quoth he, if these things were well taught, and well beleiv'd, they would doubtlesse destroy the religion of the Christians, who are our most mortall enemies. Then did [Page] the High Priest bow unto Sir Vane saying to him, Thou art in power, and as thou endeavourest to doe our work so is it fit that thou shouldst receive honour from us. 'Tis true quoth he, thou art a Knight after the order of the Christians, but throw it off, for it will be very injurious unto thee; and take from me a title which shall be more beneficiall, and comfort thy self in this that then thou shalt be a better Knight then any in the World. Then did the High Priest aske him whether he could fight or no. To which Sir Vane reply'd that he never could nor never would fight. The High Priest was right glad of this, for that he could now performe the office himself by anointing, whereas otherwise he must have been forc'd to have sent for a Warriour on purpose to have dub'd him. Thus the High Priest took leave for the time, telling him that in thrée days he would returne; desiring him in that space to prepare himselfe for the honour he was to receive. He was to eate nothing but emblematicall dyet, as round cabbages which seeme to resemble the Earth, and its destruction by fire, in that they are to be boyl'd before they can be eaten. He was likewise to feed upon Swines flesh because a Hog was the embleme of ingratitude: he might likewise feed upon Horse flesh, because the Bible spake much of them, and that eating them out of the way was the only means to keep Men from not putting their trust in them; He might drink botled Claret by reason of its emblematicall life and quickness, and he might likewise take Tobacco if his Pipe had this motto on it, Evanescit ut su nus; but he was forbid to drink Greek Wine because that the Christians us'd it at their Communions.
In the mean while the High Priest, being loath to defile so great a solemnity with any oyle that had been unhallow'd by the touch of the Christians, sent two of his Disciples to cut off a great peice of a certaine Whale which was kil'd a little before in the River of Thame [...]is, which accident they attributed to the kind provision of the [Page] Goddess blind Zeal, thereof to make a sacred oyle of their own, and which they pray'd the Goddess blind Zeal to allow of for their purpose; This done, after the end of thrée dayes the High Priest return'd to Sir Vane, whom he first question'd concerning the performance of what he had commanded, who whether he had done it or no, so well dissembled his past obedience that the High Priest oft times gave credit unto his saying; Then the High Priest proceeding, it is now Sir Vane quoth he, that I must cause thee to kneel, that others after this may be bound to kneel to thee; To which when Sir Vane had yielded, he poured the Trane Oyle upon his locks, bidding him then to rise up Sir Vane, Knight of the Order of the most mysterious Allegories. Then giving him some few instructions, as that he should be zealous in carrying on the great work of building up Babell, which the God of the Christians had for so long time hindred from being finish'd, and that he should seek nothing but the advancement of confusion and Atheisme, most solemnly he took his leave of Sir Vane, and retired into his Temple which was situate in that part of the Metropolis of Britain cal'd Colemanstreet,
CHAP. VIII. How Sir Lambert Knight of the Golden Tulep, and Sir Vane Knight of the most mysterious Allegories, made a League together.
THE honour done to Sir Vane being greatly noised abroad, and his dexterity in mischiefe being very well known, Sir Lambert thinking him a fit instrument for the effecting his design, came to him and exceedingly desired his assistance. Then said Sir Vane unto the Knight of the Golden Tulep, I am right glad to see so good a [Page] Knight at my Castle. Know then Sir Lambert that I have always bare you a very great lov [...], neither is there any Knight in Brittain whom I honour like unto your self, I know right well that thou dost far exceed in feats of Armes, and that I am right craftier in councell; wherefore then should we suffer the Meek Knight to be chief Soldan over us. who is not at all like unto thée for Chivalry? Why do we not revenge on him the injuries done us by his Father? When Sir Lambert heard this, he waxed greatly in wrath with the Meek Knight, and sware by his sturdy steed Snorter, that he would not cease till he had pulled the Souldan out of his Palace by the ears, so that he might have the advice of the Knight of the most mysterions Allegories. Then Sir Vane promised to assist Sir Lambert all that he might, on condition that he should be the next in dignity to him when he was chief Soldan. Then Sir Lambert swore unto Sir Vane by all the soules of his Ancestors that so it should be; And moreover quoth Sir Lambert, in token of this friendship between us, I freely give the fair Maid of Wimbleton my Daughter unto thy eldest Son so well known by the name of the overgrown Child; and know right well Sir Vane that she is a right comely Dame, and one for whom many a sturdier Knight then he would be content to try the sharpnesse of their blood thirsty lances. She shall have for her Dowry my Palace of Wimbleton, once the Dowry of a Queen, and [...]f my sword fail me not I may chance to make her chief Soldaness of Brittain. When Sir Vane heard this he looked full jocandly [...]pon Sir Lambert; Then they clipped and hugged one another, and sware to be as true to one anothers interest, as the Cripples of the Forrest of Covent Garden are to one another in concealing the Rogueries which they commit.
CHAP. IX. How the Knight of the Golden Tulep, and the Knight of the mysterious Allegories came to the Castle of Sir Fleetwood the contemptible Knight, where they met with the grim Gyant Desborough, and how they went all three and pulled the Meek Knight who was then cheif Soldan out of his Palace by night.
SIR Lambert séeing now fortune begin again to cast her wonted smiles upon him, resolved to make use of her while she was in a good humour, wherefore he shew'd great willingnesse to Sir Vane to goe on in his intended designe. Then said Sir Vane, why should our delay be any hindrance unto us. Let us incontinently goe unto Sir Fleetwood the contemptible Knight, who hath great power over the Soldans Forces, I know right well that I can with ease cause him to doe whatever I list, for that his understanding is excéeding shallow, and we will make him to beleive that he shall be chief Soldan, on condition that he will help us for to depose the Meek Knight Sir Lambert was right glad of this advice, so they rode on toward the Forrest of Saint Iames, néer unto which stood the Castle of the contemptible Knight. They were no sooner come to the Gate, but they were conducted by gentle Stamford, (who was chief Squire to Sir Fleetwood,) up unto his Masters lodging. Then said Sir Vane unto the Contemptible Knight, rouse up thy self thou Man of courage, and let us not be in bondage unto the Meek Knight, who is young and hath not understanding and wisedome su [...]ficing for so great an employment. Hast thou not been [...]n all the Soldans Warres? Think then how treacherously the Soldan has dealt with thée, in preferring the Meek Knight his Son before thee. 'Tis true then answered [Page] Sir Fleetwood, that it is the desire of my heart to make my self chief Soldan, but there are so many valorous Knights that will oppose me, that I feare much to undertake the enterprise. Then said sir Lambert I know right well sir Flee [...]wood, that without force we can little availe, but of that I make no question, knowing the great honour and reverence which the Host of the Soldan beareth to me. Moreover I have told many of them that which I intend, and they are resolved with me to live and dye. Then said sir Fleetwood right cunningly, since that you sir Lambert can prevail so much by your own power, let not me interpose my weak force to injure the fame of so worthy a Knight, But sir Lambert who was as cunning as he, reply'd that he would not adventure without him, that as he was chief in power he should be chief in the undertaking. Alas sir Fleetwood quoth the Knight of the Golden Tulep, think you that I am arrived here to rob so hardy a Knight as you are of your prize; No sir Fle [...]twood for I only come at the request of the good Knight sir Vane to proffer my assistance, which if you shall not think fit to receive, I am ready to retire, for that there be other Forrests and Castles to seek adventures in besides those which are in this Countrey. Sir Fleetwood was right glad of what Sir Lambert said, so that according to his custome he wept for joy, not thinking that the Knight of the Golden Tulep had spoken treacherously. As they were thus parlying together in came the grim Gyant Desborough, who lived in the Forrest of Saint Iames that was close by. With your leave Sir Knights quoth he, I am come here to visit my Brother the Contemptible Knight, and I ho [...]e that does not offend yee If yée think your selves affronted, and that any of yee be so hardy as to dare fight in defence of the meek Knight, I doe here openly challenge him the combate, for that I doe abominably hate the Meek Knight and all his adherents; Then answered sir Lambert and sir Vane, that they were as mortall enemies to the [Page] Soldane as he was, and therefore they desired the Gyant not to think amisse of them. Say you so quoth the Gyant Desborough, then you say well, else had I crush'd ye to péeces in my fury, like rotten apples; then procéeding, quoth he, what shall we do with this proud Prin [...] who hath raised himself to be a Soldane over us? Is it fit that the Unkle should be govern'd by the Nephew? Sir Vane willing all he could to incense the Gyant to anger; told him that it was an allegory of the Worlds confusion, when Children rule their Parents. Upon that the Gyant Desborough stamped so hard upon the floore, that you might have heard it a mile off, and swore by all his Country Gods, that his Nephew the Meek Knight should no longer live, if he refus'd to resign his Soldanship; the words were no sooner out of his mouth, but he drawes out a whole Canon out of his pocket, charg'd wich a brace of Bullets, each weighing twenty pound, and cocking the same, commanded the Contemptible Knight, with the Knight of the Golden Tulep, to follow him. It was now night, and pale Cinthia had withdrawn her light from the World, unwilling to behold the treacherous actions of mortals; when they began their journey toward the Palace of the Soldane, they rode hard, and being soon arrived there, they went directly to the Soldans lodging, for that the Soldans janisaries being before corrupted, gave them frée accesse. Then said the Gyant to the Soldane, proud Peacock thinkst thou to pearch over thy betters any longer? resign thy power, thy Scepter, and thy Royal Robes, and dissolve thy Councell that thou kéepest to plot against us, or I will take thée such a blow on the pate▪ that I will make thy head ring noon, and send thée to the infernal shades, there so make vain complaints to Pluto of thy misfortunes, wi [...]h that the Gyant Desborough heaved up his weighty Instrument of death, on purpose to have given him such a blow as should have rent the foundations of his noddle; The Meek Knigh [...] was astonied at the sight, and stood for [Page] a while as one that were dumb, but seeing the danger that his brains were in, he fell on his knees before the Gyant Desborough, beseeching him in gentle courtesie to distressed Knights, that he would spare his life, and he would submit to whatever the Gyant should command; Hereupon they disrob'd him of his apparell, and attired him in simple and base array, his armes that were lately employ'd to weild the mighty Scepter, they now strongly fetter'd up in Iron bolts, and so conveyed him to a desolate Dungeon, which belonged unto his own Palace, where he had nothing to do but to make these sad Lamentations,
O cruel destinies, why is this grievous punishment allotted to my penance; have I conspired against the Majesty of Heaven, that they have thrown this vengeance on my head, shall I never recover my former liberty, that I may be revenged one way or other upon the causers of my imprisonment; May the Plagues of Pharaoh light upon their Counties, and the miseries of Oedipus on their Tenants, that they may be eye witnesses of their daughters ravishment, and behold their Mansion houses flameing like the burning battlements of Troy. Thus lamented he the losse of his liberty, accursing his birth day, and the hour of his creation; his sighs exceeded the number of the Ocean sands, and his tears the Water-bubbles in a rainy day, in which condition we shall leave him, and go to talk of something else.
CHAP. X. How Sir Vane's Son Icleped (the overgrown Child) courted the fair Maid of Wimbleton, and of the gown which she bespoke, and how 5000. Jewellers wrought day and night to finish it.
LEave we now to speak of the Meek Knight, and return we to relate what happen'd between the Son [Page] of Sir Vane, Icleped the overgrown Childe, and the fair Maid of Wimbleton, whom partly in pursuance of his Fathers commands, partly out of an eager desire he had to be doing, he did very hotly pursue in the way of love, and so forth. Sir Van [...] was very glad of the match, hoping thereby that after the death of the Knight of the Golden Tulep, his Son might come to be chief [...] Soldane; And Sir Lambert lik'd it, knowing that well he could not come to be Soldane himself without his friendship and assistance; which he had no other way to make sure to himself but by so near an alliance betwéen their Families. Therefore when the overgrown Childe had dressed himself as fine as any fippence, he called straightway for his Fathers Chariot, and bid the Charioter drive unto the Palace of Sir Lambert: When he came unto the Gate, the Porter oftsoones opened the Gate, that he might have entrance; Then was he straightway beheld by one of the Pages to the Fair Maid, who with great reverence met him and conducted him to the chamber where his Lady did repose her self; When the overgrown Childe came into the room, he was excéedingly amazed to behold the beauty of his Mistrisse, so that he remained dumb for a great space. While he stood in this posture, his backside being asham'd that his mouth should be so silent, open'd it self, and with one single monosyllable did so alarum the company, that it is thought that the fair Maid of Wimbleton would have béen very angry had he come only as an ordinary Suitor. Some say the overgrown Childe, did this unawares, but others more probably affirm, that he had a double end in it, either because he saw himself in such an amaze, to make his Mistrisse amaz'd at him as well as he was at her, or else hopeing that the good nature of his Lady might cause her to blush for his miscarriage, whereby he might have an opportuni [...]y to sée the full blown roses of her chéekes; but as soon as he was recover'd of his extasie, he began to bethink himself of saying something that might be acceptable [Page] unto the fair Lady, whom he so admired; Most divine and péerlesse Paragon, quoth he, Thou only wonder of the World for beauty, and excellent parts of nature, know that thy two twinkling eyes that shine more bright then the stars of Heaven, being the true darts of love, have pierced my heart, and those thy crimson chéekes as lovely as Aurora's countenance have wounded me with love. Therefore except thou grant me kind comfort, I am like to spend the rest of my dayes in sorrow, care and discontent. To this the Fair Maid of Wimbleton reply'd, that she return'd him many thanks for the courteous proffer of his affection. Gentle Sir, quoth she, séeing that it is the will of my Father, that we two should lye together in one bed, let not his will be resisted, but let us enjoy one another as soon as we can, for often hath my Nurse spoken proverbially unto me, saying, Happy is that woing, which is not long a doing. When it was known that the two parties had got one the others affection, the Bonefires blaze, the Bells rang, and Sir Lambert and Sir Vane were both drunk that night for joy. Then were there great preparations for the solemnization of these most Royal Nuptials, but that which surpassed all, was the Gown in which she was to appear when she was to goe unto the Temple; indéed so great was the rarity of it, that it requires a golden Pen to write it, and a tongue washt in the conservatives of the Muses honey, to declare it; for it was to be made of Diamonds, set in Kings of Barbery Gold. The toyle was great, so that it required a multitude of Artificers to accomplish the same; therefore they sought far and near for Men of Art, and in a short space they got together to the number of five thousand, who wrought day and night in their several employments to carry on the great work. These Diamonds were all enchanted by Magick Art, and the vertues of them were so pretious, that it is almost incredible to report: For therein one might behold the secret mysteries of all the liberal Sciences, and by art discover what was [Page] practised in the Courts of other Princes; If any Hill within a thousand miles of the place were enriched wi [...]h a Mine of Gold, they would describe the place and Country, and how deep it lay closed in the Earth. By t [...]em you might truly calculate upon the birth of Children, succession of Princes, and the continuance of Commonwealths, with many other excellent vertues, which I omit for this time.
CHAP. XI. How Sir Lambert went to fight against the Christians in the Land of Cheshire, how he overthr [...]w them, and of the challenge that was sent h [...]m by the Swinh [...]ard of Maxfield.
SIR Lambert and the Gyant Desborough having as we said before, divested the Soldane of his power, and cast him into Prison, they set up in his stead [...]urty Tyrants to govern in his room, untill Sir Lambert could come to be Soldane himself; For you must know that all the Paynims that were in armes, were under the command of Sir Lambert. Now these fourty Tyrants being in power, for they were Paynim [...] also, tyranniz'd over the Christian [...] in most grievous wise; So that when the Christians could no longer endure the sad and heavy oppressions of the Paynim [...], which were indeed more lamentable then tongue can expresse, they were resolved to be avenged of the Paynims, and to rise up in armes against them. For you are to understand, that the Christians had a King of their own, a just and mild Prince, whose right it was to rule over them; but the Paynims having overthrown him in battell, forc'd him to quit his lawfull inheritance, and to dye out of his Kingdom. But when the Christians groaned under the heynous cruelties of the Paynims, then they bethought themselves again of recalling their King, and of freeing [Page] themselves from the power of the Paynims; Then did the Christians assemble together in many places of the Realm of Bri [...]ain, forming themselves into Bands and Troopes in most Souldier-like fashion, but no where did they rise in so great numbers as they did in the famous Country of Wa [...]e [...], and the Forrests of Chester; This so alarum'd the forty panim Tyrants, that they forthwith sent Sir Lambert with a very great Army against them. When Sir Lambert drew neer unto them, he encamped his whole Army excéeding strongly. But when the Christians saw how neer the Army of Sir Lambert was unto them, and how weak they were, by reason that they were disappointed of those succours that were promised them, they were sore afraid, for that their number was but small, and besides this, they were most of them young Men, that never had practiz'd feates of armes before. The Paladine of Chester saw right well in what an ill plight his Troopes were; wherefore he had no mind to have fought with Sir Lambert at that time: for that Sir Lambert's Forces were all men approved in War, right hardy and couragious, and excéeding many more in number. Sir Lambert well knowing the advantage he had in his numerous Pagans, marched towards the Christians, who were encamped beyond the Dangerous Bridge, with great fury, with an intention for to give them an immediate assault, and force them from the Dangerous Bridge: whereupon the Christians were in great doubt whether they should resist the Pagans, or return again every one to his own home: when loe, upstood the Swinheard of Maxfield, otherwise call'd the namelesse Knight, and utter'd his mind in these words, My most dearly beloved Countrymen, quoth he, the badnesse of our present condition right well I understand and how basely we are betrayd through the vile enchan [...]ments of Scoto the Necromancer; However I question not but to break all his charms, whereby we may be free from the fury of those cursed Pagans that seek nothing but our ruine. When the Paladine [Page] heard this, he bad him take his course. Then the Swinheard of Maxfield mounted himself on a Courser, and by his trusty Squire sent him this defyance, himself staying under a Tree to receive his answer.
The Swinheard of Maxfield to Sir Lambert Knight of the Golden Tulep.
Sir Lambert, I have heard ere now of thy valour, but know that I fear thee no more then the Lyon feareth the timorous Hare; I am resolved therefore to meet thee at the head of all thy Troopes, there to try the force of thy Sword, nor do thou disdain to accept the challenge of a Swinheard, who may chance to prove as good a Knight as thy self;
When Sir Lambert read the challenge, he said no more to the Squire, but only bad him to take notice of the colour of his Horse, and of his Burgonet. Then the Squire rode away, and Sir Lambert press'd forward toward the Dangerous Bridge, to encounter the Christians; Then ther [...] began a sharp conflict betwixt the Christians and the Panims, wherein for a while the Christians behaved themselves with great confidence and prowess. For the Swinheard beholding the Horse and Burgonet that his Squire had describ'd unto him, with great courage spurr'd on his faithfull stéed, (which was a most remarkable one, for that it was a Horse that had but lately belong'd to the Knight of th' inchanted Mill) and without giving him the least notice of what he intended, he struck him so terrible a blow upon the visor of his Helmet, that with the fury thereof, he made sparkles of fire to issue out in great abundance, and forc'd him to bow his head unto his breast; but Sir Lambert soon return'd unto him his salutation, and struck the Swinheard such a desperate blow on the top of the Helmet, that the great noise thereof made a sound in all the mountaines, and so began betwéen them a most marvellous and fearfull battel; for now Sir Lambert [Page] and the Swinheard, thought no other thing but how to overthrow each other, striking each at other such terrible blows, as many times it made either of them sencelesse, and both séeing the force of one another, were marveilously incensed with anger. At length the Sw [...]hear [...] gave Sir Lambert such a terrible blow, that if it had hit right upon him, it would have cloven his head in péeces but with great discretion Sir Lambert cleared himself thereof, so that it was strucken in vain, so that with great lightnesse he retired and struck the Swinheard so furiously, that he fell quite astonied to the Earth, without any féeling, then might you soon perceive by the abundance of blood that issued out of his mouth, and through the visor of his Helmet that the Swinheard was now ready to breath his last. Sir Lambert having thus overthrown the Swinheard, with great eagernesse pursu'd the Christians, who being over-powred by the numbers of the Pagans, thought it safer to commit themselves to the protection of by-paths, and wayes unknown to the enemy, rather then to yield to the cruelty of the mercilesse Pagans▪ When Sir Lambert had obtained this victory, he caus'd it to be spread far and near, making it ten times as great as indéed it was, and he wrote unto the [...]ourty Tyrants, to give them notice thereof, who thereupon honour'd him as a God, and sent him presents of gold, and pretious stones; but he cared not for the fourty Tyrants, nor for their presents neither, but gave them unto his Souldiers, who admired him for his courtesie; for he thought that because he had overcome this small handfull of the Christians, that he was now able to overcome all the World; However as then he held fair correspondence with the [...]ourty Tyrants, because he was at a far distance for them, and for that he could not do any thing farther, till he had consulted with Sir Van [...], how far he might presume upon his new successe.
CHAP. XII. How Sir Lambert returned to the good City of London, and of the Feast which Sir Vane made him, and how they consulted to put down the forty Tyrants.
AFter this battell sir Lambert returned with great joy and triumph to the good City [...]f London, where he was expected with much earnestnesse by sir Vane the Gyant Desborough, and sir Fleetwood the Contemptible Knight. When sir Vane heard that [...]ir Lambert was returning, he was [...]ight glad, and resolved forthwith to goe and meet him, and conduct him to the City. Eftsoones therefore he called his dwarfe to bring him his palfrey, and being mounted, he took on his journey. He was clad [...]a slame coloured suit of Neapol [...] ▪ an silk, which was partly [...]mblematical, partly for instruction; emblemetical in regard it signified his zeal to what he undertook; and as to instruction, it show'd us, that though the silk came from Naples, an abominable and sinfull City, yet that a Man was never the worse for wearing it, so that he did [...]upon an enigmaticall score. His Hat was likewise of a strange fashion, for behind it hang down on his back with a long flappet to keep off the rain; but before it had no brim at all to shew that a M [...]n ought to put away all things that hinde [...] him [...]rom looking toward the heavens. O [...] his Shield was pictur'd fortune standing on a Rock with this inscription underneath, She is thus mine; In this mysterious garb he came into the Forrest of Barnet, where when he saw sir Lambert, he al [...]ghted from his Palfrey, and sir Lambert did the like, and then they embraced one another most lo [...]ingly, quoth sir Vane, I am right glad Sir Lambert of this your safe and happy return▪ and for the great victory which you have won, whereby you [Page] are now esteem [...]d one of the most worthy Champions of Europe, and right well I know that you have done your part, and that now it remains for me to doe mine, therefore let us proceed on our journey, and if I doe not play the Fox as well as you have playd the Lyon, let me be deprived of my Knighthood, which I hold the greatest honour which I have in the World. For you must know, that although sir Lambert were indeed as right cunning a Knave as Sir Vane, yet in councell sir Vane would never give him the superiority, though at knocks he alwayes let him goe before him. Sir Lambert submitted with all gentlenesse unto the spéech of sir Vane, and so they came together unto the good City of London; When they pass [...]d through the Town, the people of the City were all very sad, and in great perplexity, for they cared not at all for sir Lambert, nor for his successe, but wished with all their hearts that he had been slain by the Swinheard o [...] Maxfield. But they on the other side who had no reason to be in such heavy plight, made great rejoycings among themselves, feasting and banquetting one another in most ample manner; but the banquet which sir Vane made exceeded all the rest, not so much for the riches, as for the strangenesse thereof, for he made use not only of the meates and drinkes of the Christians, but of those also of the Heathen, as Pillaw, and Sherbet, intimating thereby, that as he made use of all sorts of dyet to sustain nature, so sir Lambert ought to make use of all sorts of interests to make himself great. When they had ended their feasting, sir Vane and sir Lambert retired into a private roome, there to take councell concerning their affaires. Sir Lambert disclosed then unto sir Vane all that was hidden in his brest, of his desire to make himself Soldan, and his intention to put down the Forty Tyrants; but withall he discover'd his feare to attempt such an enterprize which would be so dangerous if not accomplish'd. But sir Vane, who out of his cowardly nature lov'd to keep himself out of all perill, but cared [Page] not upon what dangers he put others▪ reply'd, That sir Lambert had no cause at all to be timorous, for that the forty Tyrants were ill beloved of the people, and he will beloved of all the old Soldans Host. That the Gyant Desborough, and sir Fleetwood the Contemptible Knight, were sure to him. To which sir Lambert answer'd, That 'twas true that he thought he could with much ease put down the forty Tyrants, but what must we do then? cryes he; To which sir Vane reply'd, Leave that to me, I have a Plot in my head; and the more to encourage sir Lambert, he repeated to him a certain Prophesy, the which ran in these words.
The Prophesy.
When the dead shall awake to joyn themselves with the living, then shall valour be at her height and beauty in the supremest point of her glory.
This prophesy, know right well sir Lambert, so said sir Vane, can concern no Person living but thy self, as I shall show thee by the easy exposition thereof, which flows without any force from the words.
When the dead shall come to joyn themselves with the living, that is, when we who in the time of the Soldan were dead as to the affairs of this World, shall come to joyn our selves with the living, that is, with the Gyant Desborough, and sir Fleetwood, who were in great authority while the Soldan was in being, then shall valour be at her height, that is then shall your self who are right valourous be Soldan, and beauty be in the supreamest point of her glory; as much as to say, your passing beautious Lady shall be Sol [...]anesse.
When sir Lambert heard this, he took up a new resolution, and resolved to venter what ere come of it. Then said sir Lambert to the Knight of the Mysterious Allegories, Sir Vane thy wisdom is to be extolled, and thy words to be prized above fine Gold. [Page] Wherefore let us as [...]as we gave smoaked out our pipes go and talk with sir Fleetwood, and my couzen the Gyant Desborough concerning it; for it they [...] but joyn with us, Ile go presently about my work.
CHAP. XIII. How do [...] Hizlerigo the Knight with the hot head, being one of the forty Tyrants, suspected the intention of sir Lambert, and how he would have had Scoto the egromancer have enchan [...]ed him, and put him into his Castle at Lambethe, and how he cuft his Dwarf for playing at Span-Fa [...]thing.
SIR Lambert being now full of hopes, and greatly swelled with the prophesy which Sir Vane had told him of, h [...] began now to be very active in the prosecution of his design; But when he saw that the two Gyants Icleped, Creed aud Berry were come to joyn with him, and that sir Lilburn the degraded Viceroy was also come in unto his party, he eftsoones resolved by the advice of sir Vane to make known some of his desires to the Forty Tyrants. When the forty Tyrants read them, they liked them not at all, but were highly provoked, especially Don Hazlerigo, the Knight [...]ith the hot head, who being the most passionate Person in the World, fell into such a rage, that many of the forty Tyrants themselves, though they knew his kindnesse to them, did greatly tremble thereat Quoth he, how dares thie Princock thus presume; am not I the wisest, and the most valarous Knight that ever Oceana brought forth, how happeneth it then that the gods permit this contest between us? Hare they no Thunderbolts to lend me that I may nail this bo [...]d audatious Traytor to the Earth, Then turning to the forty Tyrants, am not I above yée all, quoth he, why doe [Page] yée then not do what I command? Let there be a great Caldron fetch'd and let this presumptious Traytor be boyled th [...]rein, and wher he is boy [...]d, he is boyl'd, and there will be an end of him Hereupon one of the forty Tyrants said that Don Hazlerigo had spoken like a right worthy Cavali [...]r; and if all m [...]n were of his mind there want [...]d nothing but a Caldron. [...]on H [...]zlerigo rep [...]y'd, that he had one at whom wherein his [...]amsels did boyl foule cloathes, and [...]Livers for his meaner Servants, and thereupon he called his Dwarfe to fetc [...] it; but the Dwarfe not answering to the call, Don Hazlerigo in great fury went forth to seek him. Oh the sad disastrous fate of the unfortunate Dwarfe? For Don Hazlerigo no sooner sought for him, but he beheld him playing at Span-farthing in the Yard belonging to the Palace of Westmonasterium, Dare you there, quoth Don Hazlerigo in great despite, I'le be with you eftsoones. He was no sooner neere him, but he reach'd the Dwarfe such a cuffe on the ear that you might have heard the blow crosse the River of Thamesis unto the Temple of Saint Maryovers, crying out in great rage, fetch me the huge Caldron, sirrha: the Dwarfe who neither knew the meaning of his words nor of his blowes, was in a great amaze, but at length recollecting himself quoth he, am not I as good a Squire as he that belonged unto the Baron of Stamfordia, yet he be at the famous Don Hazlerigo, why may not I? with that he laid his truncheon on the brest of Don Hazlerigo, with such a force that he was scarce able to keep himself from failing backward. Don Hazlerigo having thus miss'd of the Caldron. returnes again with as much haste as he could (for the Dwarfe hard pursu'd him) unto the forty Tyrants. with whom he saw it was much safer to contend then with his Dwarfe. He sum'd, and they star'd he [...]oamed, and they were astonish'd he could not speak for anger, neither durst they speak to him seeing him so angry, Yet they could not choose but ask him where the Caldron [Page] [...] [Page] [...] [Page] [...] [Page] [...] [Page] was, to which after much stamping and staring, he reply'd that he had found out another sort of punishment which he esteem'd far better. Then turning himself to Scoto the Negromancer, he thus revil'd him. ‘Where are all thy charmes nocturnall Scoto, have all thy spirits for sake [...] thée, hast thou now no power over the great Belzebub, who is also Icleped Lucifer, to what end hast thou thy enchanted Castle at Lambetho, if thou makest no use therof; awake great Scoto from thy dreaming trance, and raise a troop of infernall feinds to shelter thee from the ruine that will else befall thée;’ When Scoto heard Don Hazlerigo say thus, quoth he, ‘Right valiant Knight, if thou w [...]t bring sir Lambert unto me, that my charmes may lay hold of him, I will put him in my Castle of Lambetho, from whence it shall be in the power of no Knight to free him, but at present I cannot prevail, for that the spirits which belong to Sir Vane the Sorcerer, are as strong to defend him, as mine are to doe him annoyance, Yet is there one way left, and that is for thee to take with thée some thrée or four other Knights like thy self, then must you be sure to lay hold on him at such a time when he hath nothing on him but his shirt, for then he shall not be able to resist the charmes which are laid upon him, so that we shall have our wills of him to doe what we please with him.’ When Don Hazlerigo heard this, he vanish'd immediately from the forty Tyrants, telling them what strange exploits he would doe ere he came back.
CHAP. IX. How sir Lambert put down the Forty Tyrants, and how he and the Baron of Sussex jested together.
VVhen sir Lambert heard of the intention of Don Hazlerigo, and the rest of the forty Tyrants, and [Page] of their cruel plot which was to have him sodden to death, he waxed sore in wrath, and caused the muster rolls to be numbred of those that were resolved to stand by him, and when he saw himselfe strong enough to deale with the fo [...]y Ty [...]ants, he went into the Chamber of Councell, where he found Sir Vane, the Gyant Desborough, Sir Berry the Knight of the Colepit, the Gyant Creed, the Contemptible Knight, and the Gyant Husonius called also Polyphem, to whom he spake in these words,
YEE know right well that I am not apt to seek that by force which I could obtaine by fair means. How I am injured by the forty Tyrants you understand, neither am I ignorant how yee are all affronted for my sake, should I therefore now forsake you, I should be a greater Traytor to you my friends then to my selfe; but since it is so, I vow never to sleep in bed of down, nor to unbuckle my Shield from my weary armes till I have q [...]lled your foes, and given you full power over your enemies.
These heroicall speeches were no sooner finished, but the Champions arming themselves with approved Corselets, and taking unto them their trusty swords, told him how ready they were to follow him in any undertaking.
Now had Aurora chas'd away the all to be spangled darkness, when lo sir Lambert, intending to do by the forty Tyrants as Aurora had done before by the black brow'd Night, assembles his forces together, and pitches his tent close by the palace of the forty Tirants. But they having no [...]ice of his comming, musterd their powers also together, and sent them against Sir Lambert under the command of a right valiant Knight cal'd the Baron of Sussex, and now they stood opposite each to other within the reach of the dismall Gun; It was thought that these engines would have by and by breathed out their fury in flames of [Page] fire, and have sent their leaden Messengers to seare up the vains of mortals, and dam up the passages of life, but Sir Lambert, who was as valiant as he was cunning, and as cunning as he was valiant, and so either both valiant and cunning, or else neither cunning nor valiant was loath to fight, for he fear'd the party which was for the lawful King of Brittaine, least they while he was combating against the forty Tyrants, should come and take the power from them both: wherefore he would not engage but sought all other means to suppresse the forty Tyrants that he could. Now as he was riding about, he met the chief of the forty Tyrants, who was the Knight of the gilt Mace, whom they had made Generall of the Forces of Sir Lambert, coming to the assistance of the forty Tyrants, and all the way he came he cry'd to the Souldiers of sir Lambert, that they should desert Sir Lambert, and yield obedience to him who was their chieftain. But Sir Lambert, unwilling that the Souldiers should hear with that [...]are, lights off his Horse, takes up a great brickbat, and fling [...] it full at the head of the Knight of the Gilt Mace, and but for the mercy of a kind fate, had dash'd out Sir Lenthal's brains, and then taking the Horses by their bridles, he thrust them, the chariot, and all that were in it quite out of the City of Westmonasterium, as you would thrus [...] a rolling stone before yée through a Bowling gréen Nor were the Souldiers idle all this while, for what vollies they could not discharge out of their Guns they discharg'd out of their mouthes, calling one another Doggs, Rogues, and Sons of Whores▪ and that their hands might be [...]likewise, they throw at one another▪ Hand granados, the which according to a new invention among Souldiers, were made of the tops of Turneps bound together with a withe; While the two [...]e [...]ce Armies, stood looking so grimly each on the other. Scoto the Negromancer was gotten privately into a high Tower built on the top of the west end of the Temple of Westmonasterium, [Page] that when the combat did begin he might assist the forces of the Baron of Sussex by his magick spels.
Now quoth he is the battell surely begun, for me thinks I heare the Baron of Sussex cry for help, now is the time that my charming spels must work Sir Lambert's overthrow; which being said, thrice he kiss'd the flower of the said Tower, and thrice besprinkled the Circle with his own blood, which with a silver razer he let out from his left arme and after that he began to speak in this manner. Stand still yée wandring Lamps of heaven, move not swéet stars till Scoto's charmes be brought to full effect. O thou great Demon, Prince of the damned Ghosts, thou chiefe Commander of those ghastly shapes that rightly glide by misbeleeving Travellers, even thou that holdest a s [...]aky Scepter in thy hand sitting upon a Throne of burning stéel, even thou whose eyes are like Sawcers, and who tossest burning fire brands abroad like Tennis balls, I charge thée to open thy brazen gates, and send forth thy Legions of infernall fiends, for that of them I now doe stand in great néed. Belzebub being so severely charg'd took the paines not only to ascend to the Earth, but to goe up also to the top of the Tower, to receive the commands of Scoto the Negromancer, who long'd for the encounter that he might set him on work; But the Devill having staid till night, and séeing nothing for him to doe, was so sorely enraged against Scoto, that he took him by the Legs, intending to have thrown him from the top of the Tower, but afterwards be thinking with himselfe that he should loose a good Servant, and that he should spoyle the story, for that it was never heard in any Romance that any Negromancer was over punish'd till some Knight had ended his enchantments, he [...]et Scoto on his legs, and in great [...]ury flung down to hell againe. For to tell yée the truth there was no combat of note all that day, excepting betwéen the Baron of Sussex and sir Lambert; for sir Lambert knowing that he was well belov'd by the Souldiers [Page] belonging to the Baron of Sussex, was resolved to goe and speak to them, thinking by faire spéeches to win them to his side; when the Baron saw him, he was likewise resolv'd to hinder him, whereupon they prepared to the career, but they only brake their Launces in the first encounter; whereupon the Baron drew his sword, but sir Lambert entreated him to just once more; most willingly reply'd the Baron, then meeting together, Sir Lambert's Horse was almost down, for the Horse that he rode on all that day was none of the best, and the Baron likewise lost his stirrops▪ being glad to catch hold by the maine of his Horse; Sir Lambert having more mind to be chiefe Soldan, then to be bast inadoed, séeing the Baron maintaine the fight so equally against him took his leave, telling the Baron he should take another time to be quit with him. But the forty Tyrants seeing no hope of reliefe, and that they were unequall in power to sir Lambert, were content to submit unto him which they did accordingly, giving him possession of the Palace and of all that was therein, causing the Baron of Sussex to draw off his forces; which done, Sir Lambert went home with much glée and content, supp't quietly and lay with his saltanesse in most pleasant-wise.
CHAP. XV. How Sir Lambert and Sir Vane being Pagans, went about to set up the worship of their Heathen Idols; and how they intended to have altered the Lawes and Government of Brittain.
WHen sir Lambert had thus by his power put down the forty Tyrants, sir Vane & he doubted not now to carry all before them; therefore they fell into consideration how they might secure to themselves the cheife power which they had got into their own hands as well as [Page] they could: Sir Vane was of an opinion, that seeing it was their intent to erect a new Empire, they ought to change the Religion of the Country, and to make a new one as neer the humour as they could of these people whom they saw adhering to them upon the hopes of such an alteration, and already inclin'd to such a change as might well agrée with their interest. First and formost there fore, knowing that they must take assunder what was already established, before they could put their own together, they resolv'd to abolish wholly the Religion of the Christians, for that it was so opposite to what they intended, that it was impossible for them to let the least title thereof remain: And because it is no hard matter to beware by other mens harmes, séeing that the too much pretending to knowledge among the vulgar Christians) It being dangerous for any person to have more knowledge then he is able to mannage) had been the cause of their confusion; they resolv'd to reforme that error, and to take from the people all meanes of diving into hidden things, to which end they had order'd that all Schooles of learning should be taken away; and so far they were from haveing any teachers among the people, that they order'd it should be death for any one to teach his children the primer, Yet because they knew that the aw of a deity was very necessary, though never so airy and nationall, Sir Lambert being now chiefe Soldan caus'd Proclamation to be made whereby the God of the Christians was depos'd and eight other deities erected in his roome; Four of these deities were of the feminine gender and four of the newter; Of the female deities two were Latine Destinia, and Ig [...]ora [...] tia. One Italian, La Potta del Papa Giovanna; and the fourth French, foutre du diable; Of the male deities one was Latine, Summum Imperium. One Spanish, Puerco del Paradiso; The third Italian, Cazzo nel culo; and the last of Scotch extraction call'd the Piper of [...]ilbarchen; and he further proclaim'd that his subjects should attribute [Page] divine worship unto these, and that these onely should be ador'd as the onely and most supreame Gods powers over the Earth, as to future expectations Sir Vane took it all from Mahomet, changing little or nothing; Having thus setled religion, they procéed to alter the civill government. Sir Lambert said that he did not like the lawes, and therefore would have new ones; but sir Vane sade it was altogether unnecessary as yet to have any at all, for that necessity would compell their party to be yet a while unanimous and loving one to another, and if the Christians had any lawes to fly to, it would hinder their party for dstroying those their enemies, which was to be done no other way but by giving their party leave to practice all manner of tyrannies and violencies over them.
Yet one law sir Vane liked well that it should be made, which was a law against the importing of Barrel-Figgs, least thereby the Christians should learne Unity, séeing things of the same nature stick so close together. Then in imitation of Joshua who drave out the Canaanites shéere out of the Land to give his people a full possession thereof, they intended to have destroy'd all the old inhabitants of Brittaine, both Nobles, Gentry and Yeomen, by making their own party Lords over them, who were all of a new race, as being the Sons of the Earth, and such therefore whom no tyes of consanguinity had interest to make them in the least wise mercifull; When these things were divulg'd among the Christians, there was a famous divine among them that went to Sir Vane to reason the case with him, Quoth he unto him, it is a very dangerous thing to alter the religion, and take away the Laws of a Nation; Sir Vane replyes, that as to the alteration of religion, it was a thing which they thought convenient, and therefore since they had the power in their hands, they were resolv'd to doe it; and as for taking away the Laws, he thought 'twas very well done also; for that was the difference between théeves and honest men, Théeves indéed were necessitated [Page] to make Laws among themselves, and to observe them; but honest Men, said he▪ such as we and our party, have no néed thereof; for that we are no théeves, but robbers; and if we doe possesse other Mens goods, it is because we have right thereunto, being born to inherit the Earth; Alas quoth Sir Vane, Laws are the guides of the soule, and therefore those who would be counted most frée, ought to live without um; for if it be a mark of slavery to have the legs or hands bound, certes it is a signe of far greater subjection to suffer the mind to be in fetters. When the ancient Seer heard these arguments he was convinc'd, not by the strength of Sir Vane's reason, but because he saw it was in vaine to contend with an unreasonable strength; & therefore with great sorrow for the affliction which he saw was like to fall upon the Christians, he took his leave of the Knight of the mysterious Allegories, and departed.
CHAP. XVI. How the Christians rebell'd against Sir Lambert, and how he march'd against them into the North, and what happen'd thereupon.
THe Christians were now in a sad condition, for that the Heathens having vow'd their destruction went about to put in practise all these designes which they could think on for the effecting of their purpose. But they had one Champion yet alive, who was height sir George, who was the most worthy Champion that ever the Brittaines had Who séeing the destruction that was like to fall upon the Christians, resolved to oppose himselfe in their defence; whereupon sir Lambert sent defyance unto the Loyall Knight, telling him that he would shortly meet him in the Plaines of Northimbira. But before he went, [Page] he consulted with the Knight of the Mysterious Allegories, how he might secure unto him the Metropolis of Brittaine, wh [...]ch he was now going to leave behind him, and what persons he might entrust for to mannage his great affairs in his absence, Whereupon they agreed to constitute severall Seer's of the Square Table, which being assembled together, should have the name of a Councell of Safety. Now that they might not crosse the proverb as they were to have new Laws, so they resolved to make new Lords. And indéed sir Vane, who was altogether for Allegories, told sir Lambert, that there were no Men fitter then those from whose trade or occupation; he might dravv some allusion that he might teach him still what to do; There [...]ore he advised him to choose one Grocer, that it might mind him of braying his Enemies in the Morter of affliction▪ & grinding them as small as Pepper. He bid him take one Drawer of Cloath, such was the Seer Brandritho ▪ to shew that there ought not to be any differences among factions of the same Stamp: He bid him take one that was employed in the Cole-Pits such was Sir Berry the Knight of the Cole-Pit, to shew that a Politician ought alwayes to be undermining. One Scotchman, such was the Seer Wareston, to shew the Treachery and Falshood that Politicians ought to use. One Ploughman, such wa [...] the Byant Desborough, to shew the care that a Politician ought to have, and how he ought to observe times and seasons. And one Cobler intimating thereby that a Politician ought to look after no mans ends but his own When Sir Lambert had made choice of his Councel he spake unto them in these Words.
I Have here made choise of ye▪ that ye may assist me in the carrying on my great work, I must leave ye for a time, for that I am going to meet the Loyal Knight in the Plains of Northimbria, who hath bid me defyance, [Page] wot ye well that ye have to deal with a proud and insolent City; if therefore they will not be rul'd, smoak um to death in their own Hives, as they do Bees. He was famous that burnt the Temple of Diana, and Nero was famous that burnt Rome; then be ye famous also, and burn London. I shall say no more, because I repose a confidence in ye, not doubting but that ye will stick close unto me if not for my sake, yet for your own ends, which by no means but mine ye can ever be able to attain.
When he had uttered these sayings, they all stood up and cry'd long live the Soldan of Britain.
CHAP. XVII. How the Seer Wareston lay with a Lady of pleasure that came to him with a Petition upon the Councel Table, and what happened thereupon.
LEave we now Sir Lambert a while, and let us rehearse what happen'd at the Councel of Safety, of which the Seer Wareston was Chief President, who was a right notable Knave and exceeding salacious, as you shall understand by that which follows. There was a Lady at that time, who had certain sad occasions co visit the Councel of Safety for the redress of certain grievances, but could never find a fit opportunity to deliver her supplication; but at length finding that the Seer Wareston was all alone in the Councel Chamber▪ she prevail'd with mony of the Dore keeper to let her in. When she came in, she appeared right comely unto the Seer, and related her Story unto him with such a grace, that he was streight-way enamoured of her; Quoth he, well do you deserve fair Lady to have your Petition granted, but should I grant you your Petition, would you grant me mine? Alas! said the Lady, it is not for you to petition, who [Page] have so much power in your hands. Ah! reply'd the Seer, you have wounded me; and I hope you will cure the wound which you have made, and saying these words, he pulled her by the Gown upon his knee as he sate in his great Chair, and would have kissed her. The Lady not ignorant, how much coyns inflamed, made great resistance; but the more she resisted, the more was he on fire; so that there was exceeding great contention, and strungling between them; at length the lustful Seer being the stronger, had thrown her upon the Councel Table, and there laid her flat on her back, where at length she gave him leav to quench his desires with the spoils of her seeming Chastity, on condition that he would grant her Request. He had not sooner finished, but in came Sir Fleetwood the contemptible Knight, and some others, who seeming the Seer in a strange posture, with his Band rumpled, his Cap off, the Sleeve of his Gown torn, and his Face more redder then ordinary, desired to know of him what had happen'd unto him. The Seer not at all abashed told them the whole Story: Who entred thereupon into great consultations among themselves. Some were of an opinion, that since the Seer Wareston Genealogy was likely to encrease, that the Sold'an should allow him a larger stipen'd, One stood up and said that it was requisite, that the Contemptible Knight, and the Knight of the Allegories should be sent to the Temple of the Gods, La potta del Papa Giovanna, to enquire of the Oracle, whither it were a Boy or a Girle, that provision for the birth and education might be made accordingly. Others were of opinion that 'twas convenient to know what his Name should be; This debate took up above a weeks time, with continual pro's and con's, and at length they concluded that it were a Boy he should be called by the Name of young FINBRANDUS, and that he should be sent to the enchanted Castle NEWGATE, to be bred up in all the secrets of that place [Page] by the severall Gyants yhat frequented the Castle. But if it were a Girle that she should be delivered to witch Creswellia to be taught all kind of sorceries and enchantments; and so the Councell was dismist for that time.
CHAP. XVIII. How Sir Lambert marched against the Loyal Knight as far as the Forrest of Northimbria; and how the Councel of Safety sent the Gyant Husonius to kill the Christians for playing at Foot-ball.
SIR Lambert was now gone towards the Fo [...]r [...]w of Northimbria to encounter the Loyal Knight, leaving behind him Sir Vane the Contemptable Knight. Now you must know that before Sir Lambert departed out of the good City of London there came unto him the Seer Feko High Priest in the Temple of the Idoll, icleped Foutre le Diable, and the Seer Rogero High Priest of the Idoll Cuzzo nel Culo and Declared unto him, how they had that night seen a Uision, and having told what they had seen each unto the other, that they had both Dreamed the same Dream; Me thought quoth the Seer Feko, that I was in a great field, where I saw sir Lambert's Horse feeding among a multitude of other Horses, when on a sudden sir Lambert's horse elevating his rump set an exceeding great Fart, so that ths Noise thereof caused the Ualleys to sound and the Hills to eccho, and with the strength thereof blew away all the laid Horses, so that when I looked about again, I could not sée one Horse left. Now while I was musing upon the strangnesse of the accident, there came a young man to me cloathed in Blew, who bid me declare what I had seen unto Sir Lambert, for that as his Horse had Farted away all [Page] the other horses, so should he scatter all his enemies. When sir Lambert heard this, he caused his Butler to be sent for, and commauded him to carry the two high Priests into the Buttery, and set the Bread and Chéese before them and to give them as much Ale as they would drink; which assoon as he had faid he gollop'd away as fast as he could to encounter the Loyal Knight. Now after that he had béen gone a good while, it hapn'd one morni [...]g that the weather being cold, the young men of the City of London went to play at Football in the stréets; Which being related in to the Councel of Safety, they were sore afraid, fearing lest the Christians having such a pretence to assemble together might rise against them; wherefore they sent command immediately to the Gyant Husonius to go into the City, for fear of the worst. Now such was the hast he was in, that because he could not readily find his own Arins he was forced to put on his head, a great iron porridge pot which was next at hand; instead of his shield he took the p [...]t [...]lid, and in lieu of his Mace, he pul'd up one of the great Elms in the Forest of St. James; and thus accoutred, away he goes, taking a great Band of souldiers along with him. The Christians hearing of his coming, shut the Gates of the City, thinking to kéep him out; but the Gyant pusht them open, with as much ease, as if they had béen made of Past-board; and finding his own Shield defective, he made use of one of the Gates for his Buckler all that day. Yet notwithstanding his coming, the Christians continued playing at Football, not dreaming that their sport had béen offensive. But so it fell out, that one of the Christians striking the Ball right strenuous, by which his foot kick'd the Ball full in the Gyants Face, so that his Eye was in greatdanger. The Gyant who had but one Eye, and being jealous that the Christians intended to put out that too, was sorely enraged; wherefore in great fury he laid about him with his huge Elm among the multitude, killing six of the Christians [Page] at one blow; which the Christians beholding they incontinently fled away: That, when the Gyant Husonius saw, he thought it good time to satisfie his hunger, as well as his revenge. Thereupon he streightway went and took up one of the dead Christians, and so sitting down upon the ridge of a house in a moment, devoured him raw without either bread or salt; and having finish'd his bloudy Meal, Now, quoth he, have I din'd as well as ever I did in my life had I but half a Child to close my stomack. The Young men séeing this, would have all together fallen upon the Gyant, so little they car'd either for his arms, or the vastness of his proportion; but the chief Governour fearing the danger of popular Tumults, chose rather to put up in silence the injuries of the Gyant, then hazard the safety of the City, when there séemed other probable means of securing it: wherefore the Gyant seeing at length none to oppose him, returned with great triumph to the place from whence he came, and was receiv [...]d with much gladnesse by the Councel of Safety, only they rebuked him that he did not bring the rest of those Christians along with him which he had kill'd, that he might have had them for his supper.
CHAP. XIX. How the Forty Tyrants were set up again, and how Don Hazlerigo caused several Children to be whipped to death for calling him RUMPER.
SIr Lambert being now at a great distance from the City of Londinum. The forty Tyrants conspired tog [...] ther, and in a short time they so managed their businesse, that they vanquish'd the Councel of Safety, and all that adhered unto sir Lambert; For Don Hazlerigo having [...] [Page] [...] [Page] [Page] [...] [Page] [...] [Page] got some few armed Troops together, came to Londinum with so much hast and Fury, that both the Gyants, Desborow and Husonius, were much appel'd; and besides that he had joyned himself with the Knight of hhe Green Ocean. When the forty Tyrants heard that Don Hazlerigo was coming to town, they went forth to meet him, every one clad with a Gown of Tyrean Purple, embroidered with Gold; for they never car'd what they spent so it were of the publick mony & before each person went 20 squires bare, with Cognizances on their sleeves, every one carrying in his hand the Arms and Pedigrée of his Lord. Don Hazlerigo was on a Hill; when he saw um coming towards him with their Hats on about a mile off; wherefore immediately he sent away one of bis Squires, to know of them how they durst be so bold as to keep their hats on before him while he was in sight; whether they knew who he was? and whether that were their grateful acknowledgment of the Favours which they were then about to receive from him? whereupon with many humble expressions of sorrow for their offence they presently unv [...]ild; when they approach'd neer, he gave them the farthest end of the Lash of his whip to Kisse, having rebuked them first for their sawcinesse. As he return'd he rode hindm [...]st in a silver Coach, gilded with gold, besides which ran 200 Pages and Footmen attired in blew U [...]lvet, The Trumpets that went before him sounding his pr [...]ises were like the sands on the sea for number making such a dreadful noise, that many report that they saw the Graves in many Church-yards to open, and men start up in their shirts to ask what the matter was. Coming into the Chamber of Councell, they p [...]ac'd him under a Canopy of State; when on a suddain rising up with a Look as Furious as Tamerlaines. ‘What rage quoth he, did possesse that vaine Fool Sir Lam [...]ert, to lift himselfe up against me, who am in worth as much above him as the Heaven is above the Earth: [Page] proud vaunting pie [...]e of insolence, shortly shall he too late repent, when he shall receive the same punishment from my hands, as the Haughty Almidor King of Morocco did from the hand of St. George. Behold ye are now once more estoblished by my power; therefore let us to Work, and handle this insolent Nation without Mittens; Above all things beware of consideration, knowing that delays are dangerous. If we must burn, let us burn; if kill, kill, 'tis no matter whom what or when: we loose our Authority while vve enter into such consultations: consulting shevvs fear, and fear vvas never the mark of ebsolute Dominion: The Divel, their Fire and his Dam go vvith all Consultalions, and Deliberations, and sage Thoughts; but be ruled by me and I vvarrant you all things vvill go vvell:’ When he had spoken these words▪ he departed home to his spouse: now not long after, it happened that he was going in great state to the House, certain little children playing together cried one to another, There goes one of the Rump, which was a term of Ignominy that the people of Britain had thrown upon the Forty Tyrants; which when it came to the ear of Don Hazlerigo, he caused the said children to be sent for; when they came before him, with a stern countenance, he commanded that they should be forthwith taken away and whipped to Death with whips of Knotted whipcord: And when one said unto him that it was too c [...]el a Sentence, he replyed that it was too mercifull? for that they might thank him that he did not cause them to be offered up to the Idol Molock in the Ualleys of the Chimeron; and with that he slu [...]g away in a great rage in order to his other Affairs.
CHAP. XX. How Sir Lambert submitted, and how the Gyants, Desborow, Cobbet, Creed, and Hewson, seeing themselves disappointed of their Designes, went to fight against Heaven.
WHen Sir Lambert saw that he could not get unto the Loyal Knight, who séeing himself far unequal to sir Lambert in number, kept himself in his strong Holds; he thought upon a way how to kéep the Loyall Knight from coming to him: he saw his souldiers wanted work, and therefore to kéep them from mutining, and being idle, which two inconveniences commonly go together, like a Citizen and his wife, He gave them a command that they should build up a Wall in the Land of Northumbria, the which in bredth should reach from sea to sea, and in height up unto the clouds, and which should be so thick that fifty Coaches might go a brest; and to secure it from the thunder-thumping-bullets of the dismall-noise-making Canon, he sent for the Seer Feko to enchant it. Now where Travellers were to passe to and fro, he ordered that there should be a great Gate made of Massie Brasse, which should be bolted with Bolts as big about as an ordinary Stéeple, the Shooter of the Lock was to be as broad as an Acre of Ground; Then said the Artificer unto Sir Lambert, Who shall turn the Key? and Sir Lambert replyed▪ Let there be a Mill to turn it. Now as Sir Lambert was contriving about this wall▪ Sir Vane hearing of his design, sent him a Letter; the substance whereof was, that he had heard of the Wall which he was going to build; and therefore he advised him, because Love would break through stone walls to make it of Brick: in [Page] answer to which Sir Lambert sent him another, wherein he assured him that the Wall should be of Brick accordingly, and that if he would not believe him, he might come down and sée. Sir Lambert had a double Design in making this wall; First, because that being he was not ignorant that his souldiers must dig very deep to lay the foundations of such a wall, he knew nothing to the contrary but that they might find some Mine or other whereby to enrich both themselves and him, but his main drift was to kéep the Loyal Knight from coming into Britain: moreover this wall was to be guarded by never-sléeping Dragons, which were to be sent for from Lydia, as also by Mastiff Dogs, which were to be kept hungry for that purpose. You'l say now he was in a fair way: but woe unto a man when ill luck follows him. Now said the Knight of the golden Tulip unto himself, shall I have such a wall, as there will not be in the world such another, nor was there ever such a one before? Travellers shall come to see this wall of mine, from all parts of the Earth, and shall bring mony in their pockets and shall enrich my Land; then will I plant Apricocks and Peaches against this wall, and when they are ripe I will say unto my wife, lo, the fruits of my Wall. While he was thus solacing himself under his wall, came unto him the sad news how that the Forty Tyrants were got into power again, and that Don Hazlerigo with an Army had forced all his one and twenty S [...]ers to run away, swearing that he would not only boyl Sir Lambert now, but make Porridge also of his Flesh▪ he fell streightway into a swoon, continuing so for eight and forty hours; when his friends saw that, they sent for Physicians, who were in a great amaze; but at length they agréed that he should be laid under a Pump, the well being first cleans'd and fill'd with Aniséed-water; which was done accordingly, and so they laid him under the spout and pump'd strong-water into his mouth for ten days together: at the [Page] end whereof, through the heat of the water he began ot revive, and elevating his drowzy head, Oh! quoth the Knight of the golden Tulip, groaning like a soul in Purgatory, Accursed be the Loyall Knight; for my Cakes dow, and all by his means. But the Gyant Desborow cursed the Knight of the Mysterious Allegories, being very frée of his Malediction, because that by his means they had put down the Forty Tyrants, saying that he was the arrantest Knave that ever pissed with a Prick. Sir Lambert now considering the sadnesse of his condition, was in a bushel of troubles, so that he knew not what in the world to doe. Should I go to the Town of London, quoth he, what should I doe there? walk about the stréets with my hands in my pocket like a Dutch Saylor? That befits not him that once rode about the stréets of Westmonasterium, like a Country Hagler, causing his enemies to créep into Crevises. That becomes not him who once vanquish'd the Baron of Cheshire, and laid the Swineheard of Maxfield sprawling on the ground. But 'tis a folly to talk, I must either go or stay; well Ile go: ‘But God knows my heart 'tis even as a Bear goes to the stake▪ and I know I shall be baited like a Bear too: and what then? why a Bear's a Bear, and a Knight's a Knight: Nay, and a Knight's a Bear too; for by the same Consequence that I a Knight am made an Ass, shall I a Knight be likewise made a Bear; But let um take heed of their Bears, that is let um look to themselves; for if ever I get um in my paws again, Ile gripe um a little faster then I did before.’ When sir Lambert had spoken these words, he threw his clo [...]ke over his shoulders, and in very melancholy-wise spur'd his Stéed forward. The Forty Tyrants hearing that he was come unto the good Town of London, they sent for him to haue him in Examination; But when he came before them, Don Hazlerigo look'd upon him with a [Page] very grim aspect, Si [...]rah, quoth he, Sir Knight what made thy overventurous, fool-hardy, memirrot presumption dare to advance it self against oxcombly ehur of Knighthood? Didst thou not know that I was cholerick; how then daredst thou to provoke me? Sir Lambert, then pleaded for himself, saying, That he had not done what he did but that he thought 'twas for the good of the Nation. Thou lyest like a Rogue, replies Don Hazlerigo; and having said those words commanded him to be taken away forthwith, and to be thrown into the Caldron of boyling Lead, which was prepared in a place not far off: and they say he had certainly béen boyled to death had not the Knight of the Mysterious Allegories interceded for him; though indéed he did not prevail so much upon him, but rather prevail'd upon the intentions of some of the forty Tyrants, who liking not the procéedings of the loyal Knight, resolved to make use of him again, in case any such quarrel should happen as they suspected.
When the Gyant Cobbetto, the Gyant Credo, the Gyant Hackero, the Gyant Husonio, and the Gyant Rodesbo heard of the ill successe of sir Lambert, they grew very mutinous against the Gods of their Religion; they wonder'd that their Gods would use them so discourteously, that it was neither a friendly part nor the part of Gentlemen to deal with their Ido [...]aters in that fashion: they tax'd them with the want of morality, and common civility; and at length one thing aggravating another they resolved to make them know themselves and if they would not doe that, to pull them out of Heaven by the head and ears. But how shall we come at them? quoth one; well enough cries a [...]other; are there not mountains enough in the world? let us never leave setting one upon another till we reach them.
Hereupon Credo and Cobeto, were sent to bring away Arthur's Seat, and the rest of the Mountains in Scotland, Husonio was sent to fetch Atlas out of Africa, and Hackero [Page] was sent to fetch the Mountains of Caucasus. Then did the Gyants Husonio and Hackero, prepare them wonderful Stilts wherewith to wade through the deep Ocean: Now because that the len [...]th of them was such and so vast, they took the largest steps that ever were known one Stilt being alwaies ten Mile before the other, which may seem incredible, but that we do not find it set down in the Apochrypha.
The Gyant Credo séeing them preparing them such Stilts he presently made himself such too; for, qu [...]th he, surely they must be excellent for disp [...]tch, which he found to be true; for by the help of these Stilts he went to the furthest parts of old Scotia, and back again in lesse then a quarter of an hour bringing a huge and mighty Hill upon his head with more ease then a Turk carries his Turbant: now because the Hill covered him all over, so that he could not be perceiv'd, some say that the Hill walk'd and it was taken for a great Miracle throughout all Albion. When he came to the place appointed, he took the said mountain off his head, as one would take off his Cap and with one hand set it upon the top of Plimlemmon; he had no sooner done it, but the Caverns of his belly roar'd, and immediately sent forth such a mighty tempest as blow the said M [...]untain quite away some 15 Miles into the Ocean, as you would blow away a Feather with a Smiths pair of Bellows, and so was all that labour loft. Scarcely had this misfortune befallen them, when the Gyants Husonio and Hackero return'd the ore from Tenariff, the other from Africa, They related strange things; how that as they were taking up the Mountains on their backs, the Knights of those Countries came upon them so that they were forc'd to fight with all Comers and Goers for six days and nights together: Husonio said that he had slain thrée Millions of Knights, and Hackero reported how he had kill'd five Millions & ten Knights, besides two dwarfs; but at length hearing that Atlas was coming to defend his [Page] own mountain being very weary, they retired forthwith; for they were loth to venture rubbers with a Gyant of such Fame as he was. However they brought with them four of five smaller Hills which were not above two or thrée Miles high a piece, which they had put in their pockets for fear of being discovered. But as they were going to place these one upon another according to their first resolutions, lo▪ another accident that spoiled all; For early in the morning, beho [...]d there came five Milk-maids forth to milk the Kin [...] that were grazing in the adjoyning pasturel; when the Gyants saw them al, in white with Milk-pails on their heads they admir'd at the strangnesse of their Head-gear; For were they Mortals, quoth they, they would not approach as they doe, but séeing us would certainly be affrighted at our shapes: Hereupon the Gyant Credo went down to méet them, and when he came néer, he said unto them, with a stern countenance, Are ye spirits of the North, or o' the South, or are ye spirits of the lower Regions, or spirits of the Sphears? If ye be such, Think you that we who are now going to revenge our selves upon the Gods, will let you escape who are but their Ministers? with that he gave one of the Milk-maids such a blow on her Pail as made her Pail and her Head come almost to the ground together; which when the rest espy'd, they threw down their Milk-pails with great indignation, and fell upon the Gyant with such a fury, that he not being able to resist their strong Violence, was forced to yield, while they drag'd him to the ground by the h [...]ir of the head: being in this plight he began to call & cry; but 'twas well if the rest of the Gyants had enough of courage to sée him; for they durst not stir one inch to his assistance. Uillain that thou art, Quoth one of the Amazon Uirgins, I'le teach thee to hurt Iane, & with that she gave him a claw that plow'd up his Face from ear to ear. Nay, quoth another, for the honour of Saint George let's crosse him; and so she made a furrow [Page] from his Chin to his Forehead; One would have cut off his Gingumbobs, but that feare made him swell so strong, that they were forc'd to quit him. Which blessed time being come, with a countenance full of the effects of a sad conquest, he went to his fellow-Gyants, who partly affrighted at the direfull mortifications of his Uisage, partly séeing the Milk-wenches advance, and considering that they should never be able to conquer the Gods, who were beaten only by two or thrée sprights, as to them the Milk-wenches séemed to be, they took up their Héels, and with no small diligence, ran away, leaving their intended Design to any body else that durst undertake it.
CHAP. XXI. How the Loyal Knight enter'd Londinum, and what hapned thereupon.
NOt long agoe we left the Loyal Knight in the Country of Scotia, devising with his Company concerning the welfare of the Country of Britain. He at length séeing the Forces of Sir Lambert dissipated by the power of the forty Tyrants rode toward the City of Londinum, méeting many Knights by the way that followed the King, whom he still directed in their course, who made to him report of the dealings of the forty Tyrants at Londinum: When he enter'd into the City of Londinum, he caused Don Lamberto to be cast into prison; but long had he not béen there but he made his escape, thinking to have gathered his Forces together again, and to have encountred the Loyall Knight; but being hardly pursued he was again retaken, and again committed to the care of the Knight of the Lyons. Which the forty Tyrants saw [Page] that they could make no disturbance against the Loyall Knight, neither of themselves nor by any other means, they came to the Loyall Knight, saying unto him, We thought till now, my Lord that ye were one of the best advised Knights of the whole world but that we now by proof perceive the contrary. You think that what ye doe is for safety of your Honour, but you will find it to be the losse of you and your men. But the Loyall Knight replying, Full well, quoth he, do you manifest your horrible Treason; for besides your Treachery in compacting the Death of your Lord, you would have me also a Traytor to his Posterity, as ye have proved. Then said the forty Tyrants, to hinder us from ruling in London? To which the Loyall Knight making answer, Never, quoth he, shall Traytor reign in London while the most Honourable King of the World liveth. When this debate was ended, He summon'd the Kings Friends together, and gave them the chief power over Britain, which was no sooner restored u [...]to them, but they sent for the true and lawfvl King of Britain, who not long after was received into his chief City of Londinum with great Ioy and Triumph: And so concludeth the First Part of this History.