SONG. 6. Sir
Grigory Cow T— on his Mistress, Madam
Dowzabell.
Tune of,
To drive the Cold Winter away.
I Now will not fail,
To tell you a Tale,
Of a Mistress I had of late,
Which when you do hear,
I know you will swear,
She never yet had her mate;
Her beauty was such,
Of which but a touch
At present; the rest by and by:
by which you will find,
both before and behind,
[Page 9]How her excellent parts did lye.
And first for her hair,
Twas lovely and fair,
And deeper dye then a Carret:
So finely twas clung,
Like Dag-locks it hung;
Tis pitty that any should mar it,
So sweetly it stuck
Together, his luck
Was better then mine cou'd undo it:
For she ne're us'd a Comb,
For this ten years at home,
For fear some hurt should come to it.
So smooth was her brow,
As if that the Plough,
Of late some Furrows had made:
So deep and so fine,
And strait as a Line,
As if't had been done with a Spade:
So finely it hung
O're her eyes, along
To Sheild e'm from danger and pain;
And serv'd her instead,
Of a Pent-house indeed,
To keep e'm from Sun and Rain.
Her eyes lookt a skew
One black, to'ther blew,
One small, to'ther great,
'Twas pleasant to see't.
They were so like one another,
Sure something was in't,
That when she did squint,
You'd think she look'd quite from you:
But there lyes the Jest,
When you thought upon least,
She look'd directly upon you.
Her Nose large and strong,
And stood out so long,
Just like to a Promontory:
From whence she wou'd drop,
Some Pearls from the top,
VVhen ever she came before ye:
So far did her Snout,
Alwas stand out,
Like the
Gnomon on the Dial;
That when Teeth appear,
And the day be cleer,
The hours of the day we may spy all.
Yet some heretofore,
Said her Nose was not sore,
And often did put a slur on't:
But tho
[...]e that do know her,
Will Swear't can't be su
[...]e,
Because it is always Currant.
And Chin, did suppose,
VVhen first he look'd on her face,
That she certainly drew,
Her pedigree true,
From Old Mother
Shiptons Race.
Her Lips were as white,
As Silver out-right,
And still their Colour did hold,
And thatch't they were so,
Both above and below,
With Hair to keep out the cold:
Her mouth was so wide,
From side unto side,
That a large penny-loaf would go
VVith much ease intoo't;
Being buttered to boot,
VVith the Cream that hangs thereto.
Nay, some do suppose
She descended was,
From the Sparrows by her Mother:
Because that her Mouth
To tell you the Truth,
Did reach from one Ear to to'ther:
Her Teeth had the hue
Of a delicate blew,
And each from other did stand,
A pretty way out,
For fear she should be Trappan'd.
Yet some man that knew,
She had but a few,
Did say, poor heart she was glad,
To let e'm stand out,
Like Centinels stout,
To secure the rest that she had:
Her Chin was so small,
And hooked withal,
That up it came to her Nose;
VVhich when they did meet,
Did Neighbourly treat,
A difference to compose.
And the reason was,
If you'd know the cause,
Because that her Teeth were then,
but newly faln out,
And it was no doubt
For to reconcile e'm agen:
Plump Cheeks she did hate,
C
[...]use her's fell of late,
And flat as a Pancake say:
Some dimples there were,
VVhich made her to swear,
But now they are worn away.
And then for the Rose,
On many Cheeks in the Town,
She'l say 'tis a Paint,
And cry, O fye on't,
'Cause her's is a deep dyed brown:
So sweet was her Tongue,
When ever she sung,
No Tongue cou'd ever come near it:
Her Singing though soft,
Yet if't be too oft,
'Twill make them deaf that do hear it.
But her Singing aloud,
Of which she is proud,
You then will hear such a voice,
That the Hills though two Mile,
From thence vvill recoyl,
And Eccho still to the Noise:
Her Tongue vvas so neat,
And very compleat,
That if you had seen together,
The Tongue of a Covv
And her's: you vvou'd vovv,
That she had the lovli'st of either.
And vvhen she did speak,
Her mind for to break,
She had such a lisping vvay;
Do all that vve cou'd
We scarce understood,
One seeing her Neck,
With Furrows bedeckt,
Did ask what Corn there did lye,
He was told not a bit,
Of Barley or Wheat,
'Twas certainly all awry.
Now some men may ask,
Why her Neck so tacks
About: and the reason is this,
Although they mistook,
When they said she did look
As if she expected a kiss:
But I for her sake,
Will prov't a mistake,
What need she for that to sue te'ye,
For when they did gaze,
But one once on her face,
They thought her the Queen of beauty.
Her Skin it was Tawny,
Her Arms thick and brawny;
And I'le warrant you for a Button,
Her hands are so fair,
You'd think e'm a pair
Of good large Shoulders of Mutton:
Though her fingers be short,
Yet she has a sort
Of Nails, like the Claws o
[...] a
Bittern:
For the use they are for,
To warble it on her Cittern.
Her brests they were flat,
because they should not,
Destroy her delicate frame:
For some of her Kin,
With Child oft have been,
Which much did impaire the same:
Plump-brests she do's hate,
Her's hang down in state;
And each against other swags:
That some men have said,
They did look indeed,
Like two empty Leather-bags.
Her back bove her Rump,
Is lovely and plump,
That some have her Credit defil'd:
by being too free,
In saying that she,
Was always behind with Child;
but truly I don't
believe it: nor won't;
Perhaps they may come to wooe her,
but it ne're can sink,
In any mind to think,
That any would offer it to her.
I can't say she's grac't,
At all with a Wast,
Yet scarce one among fifty,
But straiter is lac'd,
So having no Wast,
You'l say she must needs be thrifty:
Of her Thighs she boasts,
Being like to the posts,
Of a Wind-mill
[...]arge and stout;
And the wind that do's come,
From her delicate bum,
Will whisk you the Sails about.
And then for the scent,
VVhen she gives it vent,
Her Bung-hole will loudly puff,
Out a Hogo so strong,
That no Pen, nor Tongue,
Is able to praise it enough,
Indeed 'twas so sweet,
That I think it meet,
To tell you when in we were come,
Do all that we cou'd,
Twou'd adone on's heart good,
Then to be out of the Room.
You'l think it was strong
VVhen it lasted so long,
That if you in two hours space,
Had come in the Room,
Almost as strong as it was:
Nay, she had such an Art,
In Letting a F—,
I mean for the Noise and Smell;
Which if you did hear,
In that you wou'd swear,
She all her Sex did excell.
Her Legs are as strait
As a Rams-horn: but yet
Some Men can not refrain
To say, She was born
By'r Legs, at the Horn
In the middle of
Crooked-lane.
When she goes in the Town,
She will popp up and down
Her pretty head, in the Streets;
That some did not stick
To say, she had a trick▪
To bow to all that she meets.
That slander's took off,
'Cause some Men may scoff
At her, and say, she's proud;
But if it were so,
Being handsome, you know
A little pride is alow'd:
For pride in a woman,
You know is as common▪
Then pray give it o're,
And slander no more
My
Mis, that's as meek as may be.
And then for her Feet,
'Cause her Heels do meet,
Perhaps some Men may her stout:
But hark you, my Friend,
Those that Dancing intend,
Their Toes must alwaies keep out.
Come stop not your Nose.
Now I'am come to her Toes;
To say they stink 'tis unmeet;
For I do protest,
I speak't not in Jest
They stink no more then her Feet.
Her Small was so bigg.
A Man burnt his Wigg
To try which was biggest about;
Her Calf and her Small;
And h'had done all,
T'was even from the Knee to'th Foot:
One bid her on Veal,
To Feed every Meal;
Which made her VVorship to laugh:
Your reason quoth she,
VVhy, truly sayes he,
'Twill make you increase in the Cal
[...]e.
Her Instep was low,
And thick, you must know;
And so was her lovely Shin:
Her Ancles were gone,
That the Devil a one,
Were on her Legs to be seen.
She ner'e gave warning
VVhen she rose i'th morning,
VVe knew't by'th smell presently;
For the Hogo's so great,
But more if she sweat,
'Tis smelt some four Stories high.
A Neighbour did say,
She'd an excellent way
To Inrich bad Land that is Spent;
So much wou'd she sweat,
As she walkt with heat,
To Lard the Lean Earth as she went:
This I never knew;
But since it is true,
VVee'l Take a Farm that is Barren.
And instead of a Cart,
VVee'l Muck it by the art
Of my dear sweet Maid Marrion.
Some think I her flout,
When I say she's about
More then a large Cow in the wast:
But hark you, d'ee hear,
My words are not much misplac'd,
For my eyes are dim,
To compare with him
Who sayes (which made me to laugh)
She was so big throughout,
One cou'd not go about
Her, at least in an hour and half.
Nay, besides all this,
(Which a happiness is)
She is in chastity zealous,
Because there's no man,
That possibly can
Of her, at all be jealous.
And last, for her Age,
I now will Ingage,
Shee'l bring ye Youth to content ye:
For her Neighbours say,
That at this very day,
She wants two years of twenty.
Now the question is,
Since she's such a
Mis,
Where I should wooe her again;
For if I should doo't,
I fear I may rue it,
She may be Debaucht by some Men:
But let come what will,
I will love her still,
Nor will I spare cost,
For if she be lost,
I never shall get such another.
Thus the parts ye'ave heard tell,
Of my
Dowzabell,
Which I have faithfully shown.
I hope in my Love,
No Rivals you'l prove,
But let me injoy my own:
For if I should seek,
From week unto week,
In City or Country round,
For one of such parts,
And excellent deserts,
I know there's no such to be found.
SONG. 7. Her
[...] follows Madam
Dowzabells Retor
[...] to her Gallant, Sir
Gregory Cowtu—.
Tune of,
And tis the Knave of Clubs bears all the sway
YOung Ladies all, come lissen a while,
I'le tell ye that will make you smile;
Ha
[...] you but such a Man, you'd Vaunt,
As I have now, to my Gallant,
As you will find by's excellent parts.
And since I must describe him well.
This for his body I can tell,
It looks just bike a Barrel set
Quit up an end upon two feet;
Or like a Cloakbagg with a Hat,
With two stump feet, just under that.
And then for stature he is low,
Cause tall-men are not wise you know;
For th'upper
[...]oomes of houses tall,
Are furnisht sti
[...]l the worst of all;
So that you see by consequence,
He must have store of witt and sence.
His Head it is o'th the largest size,
By which you must conclude he's
[...]i
[...]e,
For a great-head has little vvit,
And a little-head has ne're a whit;
Which mistery plain
[...]y doth us tell
That he in wit doth most excell.
His Haire is of so deep a red.
It strikes the purest Scarlet dead,
And hangs as if his head were Crown'd
With Elfclocks, sweetly dangling round,
And looks as if it twisted were
By nature: for no Combe comes there.
His forehead is so very low,
You scarce can see his wrincled brow:
Some say he
[...]s beetle brow'd likewise,
Because it hangs so o're his eyes,
For to defend him day by day,
From any harme may come that way.
His Eyes wou
[...]d make on's own to dazle,
Cause one is gray; & to'ther Hazle;
So fine, so small, so deep, so hollow.
You'd think his head his eyes did swallow;
From which profoundity doth come
A dayly
[...]eame, that sticks like gum
[...];
His eyes are circled with a red,
So pure it striks Vermilion dead;
By which▪ and smalness they aves
[...] it,
That he had eyes just like a Fe
[...]ret:
So that
[...]
[...]irst they did devi
[...]e
To call him
[...]ly ferret eyes.
His face is round and Ovall to.
Yet like a Cross in outward show▪
For's brow and chin are picked both,
But's Cheekes are of a lusty growth
So high, so Plump, so round, so fair,
Just like a naturall Trumpetter.
Some have Noses that are high
And some have Noses quit awry,
Bucklers to the face, in time of ware.
He thinks all noses a disgrace,
Because that his lye
[...] flat to's face.
If any
[...]his is the snuffling nose,
Cause when he tells his tale, he'll lose,
No snuffling art, to helpe him out;
That those which heard him were in doubt,
What Language he that time did speake,
Nay some have call'd it Heathen Greeke.
And likewise by his breath he may,
A Trumpetter▪ be call'd they say,
Because it is so wonderous strong:
And holds it out so very long.
And those which sound a Trumpet well
Must have strong breath we all can tell.
His Lipps they both are black and blew,
And never
[...]air on other grew,
One askt how chance the hair was missing,
He said for fear
[...]t should spoyle his kissing.
His Teeth when they appear'd in view,
Were of a comely watchet hew.
His Neck so short you can't perceive it
Which maks me w
[...]ll
[...]ng now to leave't,
And come unto his Armes which are,
So finely short, you'd think they were
Hands that were like, a Beares two pawes,
And though his hands and fingers were,
So v
[...]ry short: yet he had there
Such lovely Na
[...]ls; for
[...]ength: in lieu
Of h
[...] shortness of the othe two,
Some two Inches were: yet I confess,
That some were more, and some were less.
His Back w
[...]s round and wonderous high,
Much like a Globe to study by:
One which came out two splinter-bones,
Ioyn'd at top, as't were for the nonce,
So that a paire (we might 'em call)
Of Compasses, to worke withall:
Nay some when first they saw his back,
Did say it was fit to beare a pack,
And that he'd excellent porter make,
By's naturall Roul upon his back;
And others said which was much worss,
That sure a Camell was his Nurss.
Sure he was not so very a Beast,
To such another: yet i'th East,
Your Camells milk is good they say,
And drink't they do both night and day:
But howsoever one that met him▪
Did think a Camell did beget him.
His Belly was so round about,
That half a yard t'is standing out,
That when he has a mind to dine
There is no place, for bread and wine;
And meat beside (it is no fable)
And serves him for an excellent table.
And when he is pleas'd to eate,
He will have every day fresh meat;
A Joynt or two, and that's the least:
Some times to three, it is increast.
And this must be the very cheef,
And lovely'st part of all the beef;
That is about the neck you know,
Whether it be, of Oxe, or Cow;
And sometimes for a second Course,
A large beasts liver: but never the worse;
Vnless this is not to be had,
Then with worss meat he will be glad.
All which he whipps up in a trice,
For he in's diet is nothing nice;
And yet these costly dishes must,
Be thrice a day provided just:
And at the close of every meall,
He eates a peck of Appls still.
Besides three pound of Suffolk Chees,
Not all at once, but by degrees;
[Page 27]And drinks but three times at a meale,
twelve quarts in all, that's no great deale,
If more, he could not in have trol'd it,
For how cou'ds little belly hold it.
He Sings so sweet we all do know,
That if a peece of Ordinance goe
Off at that time, under your eare
Yet if you did his Singing heare,
You'd find his loud inchanting voyce,
VVou'd drown that great, and thundering noise.
No Lyon sings so sweet as he,
Nor braying Asse more pleasantly;
Nor Bellowing Bull, or Lowing Cow
Does sing so well as he we know;
Nor houling Dogg, or grunting Sow,
Sings half so sweet as he does now.
His Thighs are wonderous bigg about,
And so'r his Leggs from knee to foot,
No difference is twix leggs and thighs,
Cause both are of an even size;
From the top of's thigh unto his foot,
The least part's half a yard about.
His Feet they are so very short,
VVe may compar'em in any sort,
Vnto a horse foot; as they say
Because his toes are worne away.
[Page 28]That when he's Pleas'd to walk about,
He stumps it quit the streets throughout.
But when that you do see him dance,
You never saw the like in
France,
For running bory, or corrant
You
[...]l see the worth of my gallant.
He'd stump it out so rarely well,
That
Banks his horss, he doth excell.
But when you see him dance a Jegg,
Never was such a nimble grigg;
More fast then Snail he trips about,
Yet ne're in time or figure out;
He that dances the best in town can't,
Foot it so smooth as my Gallant.
Some say that he's an arrent Sott,
And so by that his credit spott;
Which may be a means to spile his match:
But I that still do by him watch;
Can excuse him, and safely say,
He's never drunk above twice a day.
Last I must Sound his Valour out,
For never man was half so stout,
No
Clineas ever fought so well,
When he on great
Dametas sell;
Yet they two were, I dare ingage,
The greatest Champions, of that age;
Of my Gallant and's vertues too;
How every vertue did him grace,
And every one, in there due place;
With all's parts, inward, and outward,
And's name's cal'd Sr
Grigory Cow
[...]t—.
SONG. 12. On a House-warming Feast.
THere is a place cal'd
Cannons-row,
(Which most in
Westminster do know)
And in a Court within the same,
At
S
[...]gar House, so cal'd by name;
And 'twas upon the day thirteen
Of cold
December, and between
The hours, I think of two and three,
A handsome Feast I chanc'd to see;
Which was, it seems, to entertain
Some pretty Ladies with their train:
Some young, but sober Gentlemen;
How young and sober, that's strange you'l say,
This Age affords no such every day:
But 'tis true, I do protest, or
My Dames had ne're came out a door,
And having then so brave a crew,
For Prettynes and humour too;
'Twas pitty but the Feast should be
Answerable to the Company;
And so it was: But yet before
I do describe the Dishes o're,
I must acquaint you with the cause,
Why that same Feast at that time was;
Some cal'd a Goodding, but I don't,
That word (by any means) approve on't:
But I must give't another name,
That's
House-warming; because they came
To honest
You
[...]rick (who was indeed)
Their Master, that they all agreed;
O
[...]t oth' respect to him they bore,
For teaching them so well before,
To warm his House, as I remember
So't had need, 'twas in
D
[...]cember;
And warm'd it was exceeding well:
And I the Dishes now will te
[...]l,
With Wine and other thing, were there
In Ridling Terms, if you will hear.
The first Dish t
[...]at up was brought,
Was three fat Hen
[...] (better sed then taught)
And store of Sprouts to attend those,
Which fortified'em so about,
Till that's destroyed, we got none out.
Next Dish was three Duks, with Larks store,
That in good Sauce was cover'd o're;
All which was put into a Tray,
Herre sent'em in that very day.
The next Dish then Gods Benison.
Light on him for't, it was a Venison
Pasty, large, fat, and eke good crust,
Not with a Hogo, as some must
Have, to set it of, but very sweet▪
Which was the cause, it went so fleet
Of, that we all can boldly say,
That Pye went not a begging that day:
And when it came, 'twas piping hot;
But how 'twas sent it, I've forgot,
Since I don't know, I need not pen it;
But now I think upon't, I ken it:
He's handsome, witty, and good humour too,
Faith for the rest, give'em their due.
Next was a large and goodly Pye,
Fil'd with a Goose was plump, and high;
With two Rabbets to keep him warm,
Like Gixzards stuck under each arm,
With Butter fil'd up to the brim,
That we believ'd the Goose did swim,
And 'cause the Rabbets could not dive,
And fearing that they then might drown,
Took 'em under's arms up and down:
For she did swim when alive I'me sure,
But to swim dead, I think that's more:
The largeness of it the Table grace't,
And crust as good as e're was taste:
This came not from a High Land we know
But from a
More, that's always low
For Geese do gaggle, swim and grase,
Still in
Mores, both Nights and Days.
The next Dish large was I confess,
With Tarts of all sorts numberless,
That this time of the Year did afford;
And 'twas indeed a Dish for a Lord:
They stood so fine in rank and file,
Which made a Souldier there to smile,
To see'em marshald in that manner:
Said, there wanted nothing but a Banner,
To make'em a compleat Company,
The number being full to the eye:
This Dish though
[...]t did the Table grace▪
Yet it came from a
[...]enny place,
The Sugar so was crusted on'em,
Just like
Fe
[...]s when the Frost's upon'em.
The last Dish, of which I now do treat,
Came not toth' Table with the Meat,
[Page 37](But 'twas with Dish or Tarts set up,
Until that they'd a mind to Sup,)
Was a Cake with Plums almost to the top,
Which made him blow that brought it up:
'Twas crusted so with Sugar round,
It lookt like Snow upon the ground,
That w
[...]en we in our Knives did put,
We did that time an inch deep cut
In Sugar, e're we could come at
The Plums: that all which at Table sat,
At first did think't all S
[...]gar throughout;
But when they tryed the second bout,
They found the Plums; which
Cu
[...]r
[...]t were
Well washt, and cleanly done I
[...]le swear;
Besides with sweet Meats was set round,
That scarce a vacant place was found:
This Cake in a
Smiths shop was fo
[...]g'd,
Which was so very big, it gorg'd
The Ovens mouth; they forc'd were tak't
Back again, or't had not been bak't:
For it was of so g
[...]eat a Size,
They were forc'd to make it Pasty wise;
And of the bigness of this Cake,
It may be some may think I speak
Hyperboles now; far be't from me,
To speak untruths, 'tis v
[...]rity:
And my good Dame gave me piece on it▪
That I three days did feed upon it.
And after they had danc'd their fill,
For Supper then they had a will;
[Page 38]Where that great Cake, and Dish of Tarts
(Which equally was cut in parts)
Did feast some twenty Souls that day,
Besides what each one car'd away.
And then there was such Sider too,
That I do now protest to you,
All the Company that were there,
Said, they scarce drank better any where;
'Twas not of Pippins, or Pearmaine,
But that which came from Maidenlane,
But red streak right; and 'twas so good
Appetite to get, and stir the blood,
An't came they say, as I do hear,
From's own Country
Hereforashire;
But for his name I do protest,
I cannot tell which way's the best,
To describe it te'e: but now I hat't,
His Surname now I think was that,
That was the
Conquerours Christen name,
If
S be added to t
[...]e same.
As well as Sider, I now must treat,
Of excellent VVine, to this good meat:
There was a Gardiner to this crew,
Though none oth' grapes in's Garden grew;
Yet he at that time with his spade,
A Vintners Cellar did invade,
VVhere he digg'd out such excellent VVine,
VVhich he with's pruning hooks did refine;
Of Bottles, more then half a score;
VVho paid for it a lusty rate,
'Cause he'ed not hav't Sophisticate.
The Postscript.
Thus have you heard the Story now,
Of this
House-warming Feast and how
'Twas then brought unto the Table,
(As well as I poor heart am able)
And when the Feast, and all was done,
The Gentlemen did every one,
VVhen the departing hour was come,
Attend the pretty Ladies home.
And for the Musick that was there,
I can no price set on't, I'le swear
It was so good; who did that night,
(Because the Moon did shine so bright)
Go out a Syranading then,
VVith all those former Gentlemen.
And when they'd done, then back they came,
VVhere every Ladies health by name
VVas drank, with great sobriety;
And each bid other then God buy.
FINIS.
SONG 15. The Battle of the Verbes.
IVbeo commanded all the
Verbes that they
Should meet together on a certain day:
Colligo gathers them; then
Duco being made
Their Captain, them to'th fight doth lead:
Incipio doth begin the Battle; and
[Page 43]Valiant
Pugno fights him hand to hand;
Clango commands the Trumpet then sound out:
But
Clamo he cryes all the Field about:
Poor
Timeo is affraid: and
Fugio shuns
The Battle:
[...]equor follows:
Curro runs:
Cedo gives ground, which made bold
Iuro swear,
And often cal'd for
Voci
[...] to hast the Rear:
Iuvo though long at last doth bring him aid,
Yet
Amo's being in Love made him affraid:
He then bid
Decco teach him how to wield
His Sword: Says
Lego, 'twas read to him ith' Field:
And I says
Auaio then did hear the same:
Troth says
Accuso, then he's much too blame:
Induo was bid to put his Armour on;
And
Incito to stir him up was wrought upon:
Immediately poor
Iugulos throat was cut;
Says
Instigo, he egg'd me on to do't.
Lateo lay hid behind a quick set hedge,
Which
Video seeing, set his teeth an edge,
To make complaint: Says
Haurio, you will draw
An
Oaium on you self; which when
Cerno saw,
He bid
Lacesso not provoke too much:
'Twou'd put, says
Pono, courage in a Dutch-
Man in the next Line:
Liveo then was beat
Quite black and blew, by
Retro's back retreat:
And
Salio then over the Ditch would leap,
But
Ajo said it was too broad and deep:
Dimico in skirmish got two wounds that bled,
And at his
[...] poo
[...]
M
[...]rio
[...] soon lay dead:
Sepelio buried him,
Fodio digg'd his Grave,
Which stir'd up
Excito to fight again;
That
Voco c
[...]l'd him valiantist of Men:
Bless me, says
Beo ▪ how gallantly he fought;
And
Iubilo for very Joy did shout:
Caedo who e're he meet did beat'em all;
And at the last he made poor
Cado fall:
Candeo then began to look white with fear;
But
Horreo dreaded nothing, as I hear:
Amplector say, I do embrace the fight;
And
Aperio did open to the left and right:
Al
[...]ereor 'gan to wrangle with them all,
Which made
Arcesso presently go to call
Augeo; who did rather encrease, then stop
This Jarring: that it stir'd honest
Cieo up,
To speak to
Vulgo, that he should publish round
The Field, how that the Enemy then gave ground:
This made
Fremo roar; and
Furo to be mad
To follow'em: But
Hortor did exhort, that they
Shou'd not do't; yet
Propero did hast away:
Increpo began to blame him much indeed;
And
Iurgo likewise did him soundly chide:
Then
Blatero began to babble like an Ass;
That
Calco kickt him, as by him he did pass▪
Then
Cogo swore he'd force'em for to fight;
And
Cito summon'd'em all that very night:
Lugeo did mourn, and pray'd there might be Peace;
And
Cudo coin'd a lye to make 'em cease
Fighting: which made hairbrain'd
Execroy curse:
Then
Ejulo, and
Ploro too, did wail, & said 'twou'd be worse:
[Page 45]
Duro said, that he'd endure unto the end;
But
Damno did condemn him for it, like a Friend:
Fingo did fein a lye, that he might be gone;
But
Cens
[...]o did censure him for't, and every one
Besides:
Hio began to gape for breath, they say;
And
Halo wanted breath that very day:
Macto began to kill without remorse;
And
Paro did prepare to meet his force:
Then
Paveo dreaded, that this might mischief bring;
And
P
[...]n
[...]o, and
Pendeo did weigh every thing
In the Ballance of Justice: Says
Oleo, I smell
There's Traytors amongst us; Says
Tu
[...]eo, I swell
With gr
[...]ef to think on't; and so did
Thrgeo too:
Says
[...]uspicio I suspect it as well as you;
And blam'd
[...]itupero much, that was the cause on't;
That
[...]ol
[...] he was forc'd likewise to fly upon't:
N
[...]go deny'd that he had any hand in it:
Says
Sc
[...]u
[...]or, I'le search't out within this Minnit:
Trunco then did mangle all came near him:
And
Trudo thrust so strong, that all did fear him:
Temno did despise all danger that might come;
And
Vibro brandisht out his Sword, and lookt grum
Upon'em all:
Vito to avoid this storm,
Hid
[...]imself in a hollow Tree (poor Worm,)
And
[...] likewise went to visit him there:
At last
Vulgo publisht abroad where they were:
R
[...]go and
Pito, askt Pardon
[...]o
[...] their fault,
Because they fear'd they might be brought
To punishment: And
Quatio 'gan to shake:
Vlciscor swore, that he revenge wou'd take;
[Page 46]Which made
Vlulo houle for very grief,
Until that
Venio did come to his relief:
Vindico did challenge any there to sight,
Which
Renno did refuse at the first sight;
Propago did shrink the fight for to prolong,
And
Probo being then among the throng,
Did approve of what he said: and
Pateo he,
Lay open to these slanders, which made him flee:
Repo did creep from thence into a Wood,
VVhich
Veto forbid, saying, 'twould do no good:
Dormio then told'em he must sleep a while;
Yes, yes, says
Vmbo, lye down on that pile
Of Bavins: Says
Exuo then put of too
Your Armes: 'tis best says
Facio so to do:
Says
Cupio then, Faith now I covet drink;
I believ't says
Creao, but where's the chink
To purchase it? Says
Do, I give it him:
Come then, says
Pleo, fill it to the brim:
Bold
Scindo then was cut into the brain;
And
Fluo swore the Blood flow'd out amain:
Says
Frico, rub his Temples well be sure:
And I, says
Precor, will pray for his cure:
VVhich made poor
Horr
[...] then to dread the fight;
And
Gaudio did rejoice, when out of
[...]ight,
Gemo began to groan▪ being wounded sore;
Says
Bibo, let him drink a little m
[...]e
Oth' Cordial: but
Mutio muttering by,
Frango did break his head immediately:
Foveo did cherish all this bleeding crew,
And
Nutrio he nourisht some of'em too:
[Page 47]
Faetio did stink for fear, when he did see,
Ferio strike down another: And
Fugo he
As well as his Brother
Fugio flyes: and
Flo
VVith fighting long began to puff and blow:
Fleo did weep extreamly, for to see,
Flagito to beg for's life so earnestly.
I must confess that
Fatior got renown,
And
Fatigo was weary too, with looking on:
Fido did trust to much unto his broken blade,
VVhich made
Festino hasten to his aid:
Fallo did deceive'em all, for when he found
The Bullets hiss, he fell upon the ground:
That honest
Cogito did think him dead;
Experior too did try to rub his head:
Doleo griev'd that Death should thus o'retake him:
Yet
Expergiscor did at last awake him:
Exerceo then did exercise his crew;
But he like
Desero did forsake him too:
Festo stood too't:
Advenio then comes to him,
VVhich when
Obsecro saw, he then did woe him,
To invade bold
Ingruo; that
Scandeo he
Did climb for safety up on Oaken Tree:
Then
Simulo did counterfeit a wound or two:
Singultio likewise sobbs to see him so.
Arto being dry, did wish his inside wetter;
No matter, says
Ardeo, you'l burn the better.
I was betraid, says
Dr
[...]do, to this dismal day;
Yet
Prurio's fingers itch to fight they say:
Pungo was prickt toth' heart, when upon him
Premo did press; yet
Vinco overcame him.
[Page 48]
Meo unto the Battle hast doth make;
But
Desino doth the Field forsake:
Spiro to breath doth forbear to smite:
But crafty
Evito doth escape the F
[...]ght:
Miror in wonder standing much amaz'd;
And faint
Aspicio on the Batt
[...]e g
[...]z'd:
Supero did overcome who e're he meet,
An
[...]
Gratulor did the valiant
Hero greet:
Sp
[...]ro did hope,
Sperno to put to fl
[...]ght;
And
Redeo returned wounded from the fight:
Stringo did strein himself to overcome
Bold
Puso, who quickly st
[...]uck him down:
Then
Tuno thunder'd in with might, and main,
To help
Succurro, which was almost slain:
Ferreo waxt hot, by all these great All
[...]rms;
And
Fido trusts more to his feet then Arms:
Luo discharg'd a Bullet then so right,
The Powder scorcht poor
Vstulo that night:
Luxo then did put his Arm quite out of Joint,
That
Vngo was forc'd at last it to annoint:
Erro mistook the place, and wander'd up and down;
And
Equito after him, rod from Town to Town:
Coru
[...]co
[...] Arms glister'd in the Fight that day;
And
Mico's shin'd likewise, as some do say:
Metuo did fear to meet too, as I hear,
Yet at last with
Misceo mingled in the Rear:
And
Occulo did hide himself behind a Tree,
Which
Monstro shew'd to all the Company:
Sad
Verto turned from one side to the other;
And
Muto chang'd too, as if he were his Brother:
[Page 49]
Nuo did nod his head at some was there,
That
Neco had almost kill'd him, when he came near:
But
Mulceo did asswage his fury then;
And
Parco brought forth Peace to all these Men:
And though
Congruo did advise'em all agree,
And allured
Lacio of his party to be:
Yet
Cingo girds his Sword about him then;
And
Iungo joins with other Martial Men:
Ausculto hearkens what they mean't to do;
Emo buyes Armour to defend
[...]im too:
Titubo did stumble by his too much hast;
Vacillo stagger'd too, they strook so fast:
Laedo was hurt, and's Brother
Nocco too,
And
Tucor defends himself with much ado:
Tego was cover'd with a gallant Sheild,
Yet
Verbero beat him so, he was forc't to yeil
[...]:
Plango did much lament his grievous chance,
'Cause
Ico smote him with his direful Lance:
Ruo did rush into that furious Fight;
Which did, they say, poor
Terreo much affright:
Sarc
[...]o did patch his Armour, 'twas so old,
Which
D
[...]mo took away, he was so bold:
Languco did languish 'cause his wounds were deep;
And
Serpo from the Battle soon did creep:
Bold
Voveo vow'd, that he'd have Armour none;
And
Obliviscor too forgot to put his on:
Palleo lookt very pale, and wou'd a fled, but
Undaunted
Teneo soundly held him to't:
Findo did cleave his Enemies scull that day;
Yet
Medior made a shift to heal't, they say:
[Page 50]
Formido did dread to come into the Fight;
And
Culpo b
[...]am'd him for't, they say, that Night:
Voco did call on
Vado to go on:
Poor
Labo fains; and
Iaceo cast him down:
But
Recupero did recover incontinent;
For
Spero gave him hope, being almost spent:
As I live, says
Vivo, Statuo did appoint
Me
Ensigne, 'cause at first I did win't:
Noseo said, he knew't:
Mentior swore he lyed:
Then
Acuo whets his Sword, that hung by's side:
Peace, Peace, says
Taceo: Sudo sweat for fear,
And
Surgo rose, and fled into the Rear:
Singultio then began to sob, they say,
Because
Provoco challeng'd him that day:
Cubo fell down; and
Capio did him take
Up again, when he could scarcely speak:
Frenaeo then did gnash with's teeth so hard,
He drove away poor
Pello from the Guard:
Come says,
Invenio, I do clearly find,
Maneo did well to tarry still behind:
For
Incen
[...]o here has let us all on fire;
And I'le begin, says
Inchoo, to retire:
Oro prays heartily, that it may succeed;
I'le shew you a way, says
Indico with speed:
Consulo's Councel they did not despise:
Condono said, he'd pardon his Enemies:
Fascino thought he was bewitcht he swore:
But
Sino said, that he had suffer'd more
Then all
Impertio did Impart it to'em all:
And I command▪ says
Impero, great and small:
[Page 51]
Obedio vow'd that he'd the first obey;
And
Moneo did admonish the same way:
Nay, says
Narro, I'le report it round the Field,
Nolo, though unwilling, yet at last doth yield:
And
Velo was as willing, I do protest;
Yet
Malo was more willing then all the rest:
I have a mind, says
Habeo, for to join
With all this crew: and
Rego says, he will resign
His rule:
Sto was at a stand, and gaz'd about;
And
Certo striv'd to draw this Rabble rout,
To some agreement: at last
Loquor's speech,
Did by degrees quite soder up the breach:
(Though
Predico did preach before in vain,
And
Suadco did perswade with might and main:)
And
Fungor did discharge his duty right;
And he with
Vnio caus'd'em all unite:
And
Dico said 'twas best from War to cease:
Last
Sancio he establish did a Peace:
Though
Solvo paid'em for their service done:
Then
Iurgo chid those from the Fight did run:
Finio the Battle ends: yet most do say,
Though
Iacto bragg'd, yet
Vinco won the day:
Numero numbers all who that were slain;
And
Opto wisht it might ne're be so again:
Parco was very glad that he was spar'd,
And
Partio did devide the spoil was shar'd:
Irascor was angry, and began to fret,
'Cause
Adsum was not present when they met:
But
Salto danc'd; and
Ludo then did play
On's Instrument for Joy of that happy day:
[Page 52]'Tis best, says
Lavo, wash our throats then cut'em;
And
Tundo knockt for Liquor, which was brought'em:
Yet
Turgeo, and
Tumeo began to swell,
'Cause
Placeo at the Peace was not pleas'd well:
Says
Veto, Iove forbid that we again
Should fight: to which they all did cry,
Amen.
SONG. 18. Vpon the taking down of the
Kings Armes in the
Rumps time in the Year 1649. When instead of plucking down them, on the Gate of the Physick-garden in
Oxford: they were such excellent Heralds, that they pluckt down the Earl of
Danby's Armes, who was the Founder there.
IN
sixteen hundred forty nine,
When Cavaliers were forc'd to dine
At Duke
Humphreys Table still,
(But 'twas poor hearts against their will:)
A dismal time, when
Rump did fart yee,
A thousand cracks 'gainst Royal party;
And when
Kings Armes were plucking down,
In every Citty, and in Town:
In
Oxford Citty there's a place,
Cal'd
Physick garden, and little space
From
Colledge Magdalen doth stand,
(Well known to many in this Land;)
From
Mandlin bridge, it stands Northwest,
This is so plain you can not miss it,
Then when yo're there you'l say this is it:
The Walls that do surround this place,
And Noble Gate, which do it grace,
And all the Land within the same,
For evermore will bear the name,
As being the particular BountTy,
of that Noble
Nothern Count,
Who to's Prince toth' last did stand by,
Cal'd
Henricus Comes Danby:
This Gift, I say, was only his,
(For which no doubt he is in bliss)
Unto the poor University,
Made so by'th
Rump, the more's the pitty:
And first of all this
Rumpish crew,
That then did there appear in view,
With others that he thither brought,
For to destroy, as then they thought,
Their Princes Armes; was a Collonel,
Who indeed was a Preacher, as well
As Souldier; and so he began
Then to preach to every Man,
His
Rumpish Doctrine; and so bid
Them be v
[...]liant, and what they did
He would secure both great and small,
By an Ordinance from his Masters all;
An Ordinance it might be cal'd
(Which oft the Cavaliers have maul'd)
By thundring of us out of Town,
But name of
Act, it cannot bear,
Yet 'twas the Cor'nels
Act I'le swear:
And with the Cor'nel there did go,
His Lievtenant Collonel also;
And Major too, and Captains store,
And Ensigns, and Lievtenants more.
And of the County Comittee,
There were about the Number three,
With others at the Cor'nels call;
I think there was the Divel and all.
But now comes out a pleasant Tale,
(If my Memory doth not fail)
Which in
Oxford is very rife,
For every Mouth, and true on my life:
On the right hand of that brave Gate,
Were
Kings Armes plac'd in handsome state,
And likewise Crown, and Garter too,
As 'bout the Armes they use to do;
O'th left hand was the Founders Armes:
Bold
Danvers, who with loud Allarmes,
The
Irish Rebels conquer'd so
In little time, he had no soe
To wreak his valour on; whose same
Was spread abroad: that's very name
Would scatter all that
Kerni
[...] crew:
But
Danvers cry, away they s
[...]ew:
And before he came from thence,
Forc'd'em to own their Natural Prince.
By way of Retaliation:
King Iames with tittle then did greet him,
of Baron
Danvers; which did meet him,
For he came to kiss his Hand, and's Son
Charles the First; for other Service done,
Did Earl of
Danby him creat,
And Knight of the Garter; (Honours great)
Yet none for him too great was thought,
Who for his Prince so bravely fought:
So that by this, I'de have you note,
He had the Garter round his Coat,
And Coronet also; which did make,
Among our Heroes the great mistake:
Which made for what I do intend,
(And then I'le draw unto an end:)
These gallant New made Gentlemen,
With the County Comittee then,
And others of that new Dubd-crew:
When both these Coats they chanc'd to view,
Like wise Men did with one accord,
Command the Armes of this brave Lord
To be pull'd down, Instead o'th
Kings:
And so they flew, as 'twere with wings,
For to pull down as then they thought,
His Majesties most
Royal Coat;
Sure they were of Sences berest,
Not to know the right from the left.
That they were Schollars you can't deny,
'Cause in the University:
[Page 60]And wonder 'twas what
Heraldry then,
Was 'mong our
Rumpish Gentlemen.
Or were they at that time affraid,
To touch that Princely Coat; they laid
Not violent hands upon it then,
But I remember the time when
They durst attack, as well as Crown,
His sacred Person too, 'tis known:
Sure Providence did cast a mist
Fore the Cor'nels eyes, and all the rest,
They could not see that very day,
'Cause their Chief light is within they say:
If so then 'twas Prophetick, sure
That they should only then obscure
(And for a time to cloud) the Crown,
But for their lives not pull it down.
Though the Officers so little knew,
And Gentlemen of that great crew,
What did belong to Armes; 'tis strange
The Souldiers that did use to range
Themselves each day in rank and file,
(And many times their Armes recoile)
And then the chief word of Command,
Was stand to your Armes, to every band,
Which they being often used to do,
Made them let the
Kings Armes stand too.
Then after this, in merriment
To congratulate each others Act,
And all to own that prudent fact:
There were some twenty Officers,
With Comittee-Men, Friends of theirs;
So that there were about thirty two,
Of this most
Solemon like crew,
Who had at least four Pints of Sack
Amongst'em all to strengthen the back:
And though they would not wench, nor swear,
Yet you see drink hard when they came there:
Nay, that they might seem more profuse,
(Which was indeed their common use)
In half Pint pots 'twas still brought up;
But yet before they'd touch the Cup,
VVith Hat in hand would blessing crave,
Least poyson'd by a Cavalier Knave.
And as they thus sate carrowsing,
In comes a bold Fellow, using
Great reverence to that learned gang,
Saying, they were better to hang
Then keep; and having a Pint of Sack
In his hand, he like a mad Hack,
Drank the
Kings health, and then threw
The Pot among that spend-thrift Crew:
Saying, Pox take you all; and then flew
Down stai
[...]s, without bidding'em Adue.
Though they command
Kings Armes pull down,
Yet still hung up some of their own;
Their Armes should first hang up, then they,
VVe were so far from putting down
Their Armes,
we set'em up in Town:
Nay, they were so highly grac't,
That o're the
Kings Armes they were plac't,
On every Gate, about the Citty:
Not sooner done, the more's the pitty:
The
Rump their Jugglings so did handle,
They all went out like snuff of Candle:
And those who bought
King, or
Bishops Lands,
At the happy Change, had their hands
Eas'd of all that mighty trouble,
After they had brought the Rents to double:
So may they all be serv'd, that persists
Not in heart, and voice, true Royalists:
And also those that do repine
At this our Change: who by Divine
Hand, was then so brought about,
To scatter all that cursed rout;
VVho had deserv'd it long before,
For Cruelty, but Treason more.
FINIS.
SONG 21. On the Squibs and Crackets, thrown on the Lord
Major's day.
IT was upon the
twenty ten
Of dull
October, being then
The Lord
Major's show, or else his Day,
So cal'd by'th Vulgar, as they say:
I speak not of that glorious crew,
That past us by in open view.
As first the Companies several,
Belonging to each others Hall,
All clad in black, with half red tip it,
Who on their Pettitoes did Trip-it;
Nor of those Velvet Coats so black,
With Chaines of gold hung on their back;
Nor of that Teem of Scarlet Riders,
Who of the City Wards are Guiders;
Nor of the Troops, and Horses fairnes,
Whose Masters all were clad in Harnes,
Whose Officers Coats bedecked were,
With gold embroyder'd every where;
Nor the Foot, with Bag-pipe, Fife, and Drum,
Who thither with the rest did come:
Who came to attend Our
Soveraign,
[Page 68]Whom God to bless, with all His Train:
Nor of those gallant Princely Coaches,
To all I gave a
Bonos nocies:
But of those Gallants treat I do,
That were Spectators of that Show:
Who there were placed in Balconies,
'Mong which were many Ancient Cronies,
And Ladies young; who all there stood,
I can't say sit, they wisht they cou'd:
For in the twinkling of an eye,
Such Squills and Crackets then did fly,
In such a horrid fiery fashion,
It forc'd them all, to change their station;
Least it should burn their Garments gay:
VVhich borrow'd was perhaps that day:
They cheefly flew like whirligigs,
On curled Hair, and Perriwigs;
Nothing escapt'em, they were so set▪
That all was Fish, that came to Net
But two prettyer then the rest,
That lodg'd were in a
Traherns Nest;
On the Eldest flew with such a force,
It burnt her Hood without remorse;
And had not then a
Fen been near
With water to quench it, I fear
Her lovely Hair to wrack had gone;
Do all that e're he cou'd have done;
Some at this, wou'd a lookt pale, but she
Fixt Roses in her cheeks Immediatly;
[Page 69]'Tis thought he might have sav'd her Hood,
Had he not b'in a kissing Mood,
With another that stood by him;
But let that pass, I'le not bely him:
To save it he some mischief got,
For's Perruke had like to a gone to'th pot,
And half Skirt too, or
[...]me told a lye;
(Take heed of kissing Friend, when Squibs do flye:)
Nay, they did fly that time so hot,
It burnt the Youngers Petticoat,
And one spark did from th'other skip,
VVhich burnt our pretty Red-coats lip,
Also a Lord; but the Lord knows who
It was, for it burnt his Breeches too,
His Coat, and Perriwig, and Hat,
And eke his richly lac'd Cravat.
Nay, they from VVindows scarce cou'd peep,
But suddainly they forc'd were creep
Back again; or those Ladies fair,
VV
[...]re sure to burn their Hoods and Hair;
No Gowns nor VVhisks did then escape,
For on Petticoats they made a rape;
Not on those that were a top alone,
But below, they were so sawcy grown:
Pretty
S::: too did get her share,
For't burnt her Cuffs, and Hood, and Hair:
And modest
Sh::: too, do what we cou'd,
It burnt her Petticoat, and Hood:
Had ye been ug
[...]y, it ne're had meet ye:
You see what 'tis now to be pretty.
A pretty Lady, did endure
A hot contest, but by his leave
It quickly burnt his half shirt Sleeve:
The Author catcht on in's hand a top,
And flung't in's face, that threw it up,
To keep't from them that were above,
But by his favour, it burnt his Glove.
Last, I advise if any go
Next Year, to see the Lord
Major's show,
You must not in Balconies stand,
Or Window, that's low at any hand;
But i'th Garret, or Leads at top,
For that's too high, to fling'em up.
So taking leave in
Wood-street three Tun Cloisters,
At the sign o'th
Barrel, wherein we boil'd our Oysters.
SONG 23. A Dialogue between a Gentleman and his Mistris.
Man.
LYe still
Aminta, for the Light
Comes from thy Star-like Eyes so bright:
'Tis not the day that breaks you see,
But my poor heart to part with thee.
Woman.
Alexis I must needs be gone;
Aurora's put her Mantle on;
And Night likewise has given way,
To that which ushers in the day.
Man.
Aminta, Know it cannot be
The Dawning yet as you may see:
The Sun doe n
[...]ver rise so soon:
Those Glimmering beams come from the Moon.
Wom.
Come, come,
Alexis, let me go,
There's danger in delay you know:
Then let us part, my dearest Mate,
Least we repent when 'tis too late.
Man.
Aminta, what have I now done,
That you from me so soon must run:
It is indeed a sad return
To me, who in your flames do
[...]u
[...].
Wom.
[Page 73]
Leave, leave,
Alexis, prethee leave,
You do your self, and me deceive:
Come follow now what I advise;
'Tis good to be, both merry and wise.
Man.
Suppose 'tis day, what if it be,
Must you therefore arise from me?
Did we lye down, because 'twas Night,
And shall we rise for fear of light?
Wom.
Well, well
Alexis now I find,
My kindness te'e has chang'd your mind:
I thought y'ad lov'd me heretofore,
But now you'l have me cal'd your Whore.
Man.
Why then
Aminta let me dye,
If e're within my breast did lye
So base a thought to blast thy name,
But studd'd to Increase thy fame.
Wom.
Then dear
Alexis, let me rise,
For
Phoebus beams will bring in Spyes;
Which may descry what we have done,
Seeing there's no Cure, when Credit's gone.
Man.
Come give me then a parting kiss;
And this my Dear, and this, and this,
A fifth, and so we will give o're.
Come tak't says she: but now no more.
Of this young Couple now, you see
The Girl had greater wit then he:
For had they been detected then,
She knew they ne're shou'd meet agen:
VVhich to prevent then, lost an hour,
That he might many Nights come to her.
So time well lost you see, though small,
Brings Intrest great to VVomen all.
FINIS.