TIs no wonder the World is full of Impositors, since it's self a at full value is but a Cheat. Na­ture has her Bristow-stones, as well as Diamonds, and though these carry no proportion of solid worth with Real Gems, yet they have something that glitters, and surprizes almost as much: A bold Me­theor exhald from Bogs or Dunghills, hurried by a giddy motion to the upper Region, may out-beard the Sun, and with a Prodigious Blaze, attract more eyes, and wonder, then all the glorions Lamps of Heaven: some people possest with a strange Phrensie of ambition, reguard not what they do or suffer, so they may but make noise e­nough. And Diana's Temple (though one of the Worlds wonders) shall be burned to gain an Herostatus an infamous

[Page 2] Our present C [...]lebrated yet unhappy subject the Noto­rious GERMAN PRINCESS was too much of this gay flanting humour, her towring spirit was too large for her narrow fortunes, whose short wings she strove to imput with the gawdy plume of ingenious deceits. and thereby vainly thought to have soar'd in a higher sphear of reputation, above the groveling Level of the vulgar Rabble.

Her aims were great and high, but dazled with false appearances, she mist the proper means to attain them; For despairing to arrive at glory, by the difficult, yet only direct Road of vertue, she fondly pursued it in the crooked By-paths of subtilty, and Circumventing all that ap­proach'd her: Whereby although she brought her self to the Justice of an Ignominious Death, yet in this her ambition might be a little gratified, that she has afforded matter of discourse to the whole Nation, and set all the Tongues of Fame on work to tell stories of her.

To say where she was born is a little difficult, since as many Towns lay claim to that honour, as there did Cities in the days of Yore fall together by the ears about the Birth place of Homer: Nor are the Heralds less at variance con­cerning her Pedigree and Bearing.

Some alledge that she was only Daughter to the great Duke of Oundenia, and Heiress to vast Teritories of his, in the Mountains of the Mo [...]n. Others, that she was born at Cullen in Germany, the Daughter of an advocate, who left her the proper inheritance of his profession, a large portion of Confidence, and a voluble charming Tongue. Nor want there some serious Coffee-drinkers who will depose they knew her Father a Scotch Pedler, who rambling abroad stole a mighty Jewel, that weigh'd four pound, and a half out of the grand Seignours Turbant, and was for that (like Saboths Levi) flead alive, till he dyed at Constantinople.

[Page 3] But the most credible and currant opinion, is that the World was first bliged with her presence at Canterbury in Kent, being the generous off-spring of a jolly Fidler; one so excellently skilled in the Melodious Art, that like a second Orpheus he has often drawn hither all the Brutes and Savages about the Town to admire and dance after the harmony of his Crowd; for whose better accommodation, her mother sold a cup of nappy Ale, and lived by these two excellent Mysteries to the envy of most of their Neighbours.

As for the Age of our Illustrious Heroina any man might guess of late by her aspect that it was somewhat above Thirty years since her loving Parents made use of the means to beget her.

But I that am curious to gratifie inquisitive Readers in such weighty circumstances, can be much more exact, ha­ving received from a very able Artist the Scheam or Fi­gure of the Heavens at the moment of her birth, which I could not but publish to the World for the sake of the Stu­dious Artest, as not knowing wheth [...]r in any of the nume­rous Nativities obtruded on the World, there be any thing more of truth, or that so remarkably demonstrates the veriety of celestial influences and Infalibility of the star reading Art.

Born she was the 10th. of April 1639. At which time (as those that are capable to judge, will find, if they please to erect the Figure) the Princely Sign ♌ ascends, and the Sun Lord of it posited with ☿ in the House of Honour [...] This speaks the Native, Brave, Magnanimous, Majestick, and Ingenious ♄ afflicting. The second argues her perpe­tual wanton desire, at least of money, occasioned by her own profuseness, which sly Mercury prompts her to supply by irregular courses, the ascendent coming by direction to the square of Mars (which happens in Leo, Leo in the se­cond, and just now began to operate) pronounces her fatal [Page 4] Doom by the hand of Justice, and Sentance of a Magistrate, as ☉ in the 10th. very oppositely shews.

But to proceed—Scarce had our famous Native took leave of her standing stool, and got the use of her pratling Tongue, but she began to promise something more than ordinary in all her words and gestures.

At Five years Age she read English perfectly, and play'd with rare dexterity on the Virginals and Violins; she would always obtrude her self into the company of the best Children in the City, with whose Relations, her winning Deportment, and ingenious answers on all occa­sions, soon did ingratiate her, insomuch that several persons of good quality frequently took her home as a Play-mate for their little ones for a week together: Nor were her Infant fingers (if report speak true) free from Birdlime, and that attractive quality, which could even then slily convey any pretty thing she lik'd, without the least suspition or discovery: She ever was (like most of her Sex) a great lover of finery, and would therefore with a very good grace either leg, or by some other Mercurial stratagem procure cloaths above her fathers Purse or Condition; but had an irreconcilable Aver­sion to all kind of laborious drudgery, and many a pitch Battel there happened betwixt her mother and she on that occasion, till the prudent old Matron perceiving that this busie little Bee brought most Honey to the Hive from abroad (for she never returned home but fraught with a large carge of Victuals, Cloaths, or o­ther more considerable prize) quietly permitted her to make use of her Tallent, which she so improved, as in short time to grow very expert in Writing, Dancing, Singing, and all curiosities of the Needle, all which she attain'd by her own happy ingenuity, that seem'd (like the Philosophers first matter) capable of all forms, [Page 5] and rendred every thing she saw done easie for her to imitate.

Thus she continued till she was entred into her four­teenth year, when a young Lady in her journey to Dover, in Order to Embarque for France, coming to Canterbury resolved to spend a few days in viewing the Antiquities of that Eminent Place and especially the Renowned Cathe­dral, which yet some rude Sacrilegious hands had then lately Rob'd of its chiefest beauties, Confident Mall (for by that name was our Princess then generally call­ed) understanding this Lady intended for France, ha­ving drest her self to the best advantage, goes to her Lodging, and being admitted to her presence, briskly acquaints her, That she was a Poor Mans Child of that City, and though her Education had not been costly, she had some small smattering in those common qualities that Embelish a Woman; For the Refineing and perfecting which, she had a great desire to serve some person of Quality, and never wisht for any thing with more passion, then that she might have an opportunity to visit France, whither she heard her Ladyship was then going, and that if her Ladyship would please to admit her to wait on her thither, she wonld by her future services endeavour to merit pardon for the boldness, of the present Addresses.

The Lady not a little surprized to hear such a request so handsomely exprest by a meer Stanger so young, ask'd her several questions, whereof some perhaps might be impertinent as any thing in this Narrative, and therefore we shall omit them here.

But in fine, she took her in, as part of her retinue, and with that Family, within three weeks after she ar­rived at Paris. She is now in that Accademy of Europe.

Here she continued four years, high in her Ladies favour, during which time she made her self Mistress of that Courtly language, and the French assurance which our young Gallants travel to acquire, in her was natural.

She was at that age a plump succulent Girl, with a face no way contemptible, but a fine Wit, a charming Tongue, and a humour so brisk and gay, as if no o­ther Elements but fire and Air had club'd to her com­position.

These attractions, and her petulant deportment drew on a number of Monsiers to Court her, for that Trifle which men so much covet to enjoy, and women to be rid of, but she like a discreet market-woman plotting to sell her ware to the best advantage, re­ceived them all equally with promising smiles, and dispenced the same endaering Caresses to every one. This brought her in a large Harvest of presents; and the [Page 7] better to draw them in she would for such a Diamond Ring, rich Bracelet, or Necklace of Pearl, promise some Cully the great kindness, but be sure aforehand would order one of their other Maids always at the time and place appointed, to disturb and prevent the assignation.

Amongst the rest a dapper Tailor that work'd to her Lady would needs have been tampering with her fore­bodies, and though she scorned his louzy addresses, and had often sharply repulst him, yet he presenting her still with his importunities, she resolving to be reveng'd on his sawsiness, pretends to comply, and for the value of Threescore Crowns to be paid in hand, promises to let him in at a back-door about midnight to her em­braces. The overjoyed Taylor pawning some, odd move­ables he had, raises the same and gave it her, but being that morning to carry home some Garments of her Ladies to alter, she cunningly wrapt up therein two or three pieces of her Ladies plate, which he coming home found with great admiration, but fancy­ing 'twas only a frolique of his Mistresses kindness to return him part of satisfaction for the threescore Crowns he had given her, without acquainting any body, lays them up and with much impatience waits for the blessed hour, That night she (who had the charge of every thing) stayd up late, left the back-door and two other doors unlock'd, and subtily taking away the rest of her La­dies Plate, to a great value, hid it in a place, whence she might at any time secretly remove it: Then to bed she goes, but keeps her self awake with laughing till she hears her eager Gallant entred the house, and got groping in the dark in the Chamber next to her, where the Plate usually stood: then all on a sudden she crys out as loud as she could bellow, Thives, Thieves. Poor [Page 8] Stitch amaz'd at the unexpected outcry, had almost be­wray'd himself, and spoil'd the room through the ex­cess of his fears, but she continuing her dreadful ex­clamations, he found no hopes of safety but in speedy flight, which he no sooner attempts, but mi-stepping rould down headlong a whole pair of stairs, to the great camage of his shins and elbows, and rising with an excellent dexterity at bottom, unhappily run his noddle against a cruel post, which cut his forehead al­most to the skul, and thus rufully mauld, with much adoe made his escape.

In the mean time the Alarm is taken, the Ladies frighted, the people of the house get up, and finding the doors open, and all the Plate gone: Mistress Mary protests she is almost frighted out of her wits, and hoarse with crying out, that she heard the Rogues very plain, that one tumbled down stairs, and she supposed hurt himself, for she heard him cry, Mon Dieu, Mon Dieu! and was confident it was no other voice then her La­dies Tailors, who by his familiarity in the house might have got false keys, &c.

Loath they were to suspect him, but her evidence perswades them however for satisfaction to get an Offi­cer to search his house next morning, whom they find in his bed all be-mortified, and three pieces of plate with the Ladies Arms on it, in his Trunk. The ama­zed fellow in vain makes protestations of his innocence: before a Magistrate he is carried, who threatens him with the wrack to discover the residue of the plate, and his Confederates, but at the good natur'd Ladies request that was waved, and he only censured to be branded, and soundly whip'd, which being executed accordingly our merciless Princess to upbraid the afflicted innocent, very gravely asks whether such a cure of the Letcherous Itch was not well worth 60 Crown.

[Page 9] At last her Lady taking some notice of her extravagan­cies, they part, not without some disadvantage to the Lady: and our Lady Errant returns for England, and for a small time lives very soberly at Canterbury, where a Shoo­maker that had a very good stock of money falls in love with her, and by his importunities and her fathers, she is prevailed with to Marry him: But their Nuptial bed was scarce warm, when her active Genious weary of such a dull life began to plot to shift the Scene; and thereupon carrying it exceeding fondly to her husband without suspi­tion, whilst he is from home she packs up the best of her apparel, and all the money she had, being about 14 pounds, and slips to Margaret, and thence to Harwich, where get­ting a Maid as good as her self, she in the Packet-boat, cros­ses to Holland, takes a Noble Lodging at Amsterdam, and assumes the quality of a great English Lady, by the Title of Dutchess of Rumford, that for some particular reasons desired to remain there a while Incognito.

Here she sends for an eminent Jeweller, who several times attended her, and at last she made choice of as many Jewels as she bargained to pay him two thousand pounds for; but told him she had not money at present, and therefore de­sired she might seal them up in that box which he used to bring them in, and that he would keep them for her three weeks, in which time at farthest her money would be re­turned, and not offer to dispose of them till then. Whereas she having observed the box at his several comings, had in the mean time caused another to be made exactly like it, and kept it by her ready sealed up, and when he gave her his to seal by an excellent Legerdemain she put the change upon him, and soon after removed into England, leaving poor Sweating Hans at the three weeks end to look for his Chap­woman, and open his sealed box, where be finds nothing but a sew small Pebbles, and these Lines in English.

From Amsterdam she comes to London, gives out she is a Country Gentlewoman, and an Heiress to a great for­tune in Leicestershire, which drew an old Miserly Brick­layer to court her, who fancying the Chymistry of her Wit might Extract some Elixar of Profit out of that withered Picture of Time (as she used to call him [...] re­ceives his Addresses, and at last Marries him, but after a Fortnights time marcht off with neer two hundred Peices of his Idolized Gold, and takes a Lodging neer Smithfield, where she met with a rich Grasiers son of Rumney-Marsh in Kent: And making him believe she was an Eminent Citizens Daughter, inveigled him to be a Suitor to her, with whom after several treats in Town, she attended with her Maid, goes down to Graves­end; There he spends all the Money he had taken for his Cattel in London, and then she takes him aboard a Ship, makes him drunk with a Bowl or two of Punch, takes ten Guinnies of the Master for him, and leaves him fast asleep, bound to seek his Fortunes at Barbado's. But just as the Tiltboat went off, and she was returning for London, she sends a Letter to the Mayor of Graves­end, (who by that Office is a Justice of Peace) in her Cullies Name, intreating his assistance to bring him off, which the Mayor did, and the Master had his share in the Cheat as well as the Countryman.

Flusht with these late Successes she lays the Plot of a Nobler Comedy, which conferred on her the gay Title of [Page 11] GERMAN PRINCESS ever after; All the way in her Passage she spoke either Dutch or Broken English, and pretended she was just come from beyond the Seas; The Tiltboat arrived about Midnight, and she is forced to go as far as a Tavern neer the Royal Exchange with a Gen­tleman, whose civility to a supposed Stranger oblig'd him to take care for Lodging for her: There they find people up, and she and her Maid are housed for that Night: Next day, being drest very splendidly, she Complements her Landlady, and agrees to continue her Lodging there: she was brave in her Deportment, and Noble in her Expences, which tempted the woman of the house to be Inquisitive what she was, whilst she on all occasions industriously avoided the declaring of her Quality or Concerns; till finding the People wrought up to a high expectation, she writes two Letters, and desires the Woman to get them sent to the Forraign Post-house; who greedy of that opportunity, breaks them open, but finding them Dutch, is forced to call her Husband (who had formerly been in Holland) to read them; He finds one directed to a great Prince, by the Name of Brother: an other to her Steward, ordering great summs of Money, and other Gallantries to be returned and sent to her, and sub­scribed Henrietta Maria de Woolway, Princess.

The Letters were sent away no body need care whe­ther, and our witty stranger soon found the Plot had took, by the additional respects the whole Family paid to her new Vampt Highness. But the Vintners Wife was big with other thoughts, considering that if she could Match this Illustrious person to some of her friends, she and her Husband would be made for ever. At last she pitches on her Cozen Mr. Charlton, for­merly servant to a Scrivcher, but then Usurping the [Page 12] Name of a Gentleman of the Temple; Him she sends for, and discovers the design; who is resolved to en­gage in it, but 'tis held absolutely necessary, he should pretend himself at least a Lord, to promote which, his Mother Contributes, and sets at liberty above a hun­dred long Imprisoned Angels.

Rich Cloaths are taken up, a Coach and Foot-boy in Livery hired, and a Noble Dinner bespoke at this Ta­vern for my Lord, whom the German Lady with many Intreaties was prevailed with to Honour with her Com­pany. There several Complements past, in fine (to make short of a well known Story) after several Treats, and above two Hundred pounds, spent in Courtship, they are Married, and take Noble Lodgings in the Strand, and Charlton fancies nothing less than to be made a Duke, or some strange Mammamouchy-Titu­lado; When all these Magnificent Dreams are disturb'd by a sorry Journeyman-shoomaker; who coming in his Masters absence to bring her Highness some Shooes, knew her to be Wife to the before mentioned Shoomaker at Canterbury, with whom he had been Prentice; This he divulges amongst the Neighbours, and the Buze at last reaches Mr. Charltons Fathers Ear, who being a wary old Gentleman, spake with the Fellow, and find­ing him persist in his assertion, gets a Warrant, and has her Pageant Highness before a Justice, where most of her Jewels are found Counterfeit, and she on a charge of having two Husbands, is committed to the Gate-house: There the Old Bricklayer hears tidings of her, and very kindly came to Inquire for his Wife: This she understanding dresses up another Woman that somewhat resembled her, to personate her: which she acted so to the life, that the Old man (though he made use of his Spectacles for that purpose) took her [Page 13] for the same, and discoursed with her for two hours accordingly, before the Keeper and several others.

Next Sessions our Princess is tryed at the Old Bayly for her Life, for having three Husbands: the Shoomaker, the Bricklayer, and Mr, Charlton: the last she owned, the first could not be found, the other was not much regarded, since it was proved he had charged another woman with it in the Prison, and therefore 'twas thought he Doated, and did not know whom he have for his Wife.

Thus with applause she was Acquitted, and after acted her own part on the publique Theater in the Play made on that Occasion, called; The GERMAN PRINCESS: but 'twas the General Vogue of the Wits, she acted much better to the life in the World, than on its Epitome, the better, and therefore she soon left that, and for some time Imployed her self in seizing silver [...]ankards in all the Taverns and Victualing Houses about. Town, takeing Lodgings, makeing the Servants Drunk, and then Jilting their Masters. At this sport she at last was Caught; and being Con­victed at the Sessions, was Transported into Virginia. There she kept up her Old Grandeur, lived high for some time, and then boldly returns for England, in despight of the Sentence.

Then she studies new Pranks, and amongst the rest this pleasant Adventure.

Understanding there was a young Apothecary to­wards Westminster, newly set up, with a very good stock, she engages an Old Woman very often to go [Page 14] for odd things to his Shop; who one day takeing her opportunity, asks why he did not Marry; He replies, with all his heart, if he could meet with a Virtuous Woman, with any thing of a Fortune; Whereupon she told him she was very Intimate with a Gentlewo­man, Neice to an Eminent Citizen in London, who kept her, and had Two Thousand pounds of hers, pay­able at the day of Marriage, in his hands: and tells him the Name, and where they lived, telling him he might Inquire of the truth of it; and that if he thought fit, she did not doubt but to bring her into his Company, and drive the Bargain between them: The young man Civilly thanked her, and next day made diligent Enquiry amongst some of this Citizens Neighbours, and finding all things as she had related, he longed to see his intended Mistris. But Mrs. Wheadle the Matchmaker first gets him to Seal a Bond of One Hundred Pound Penalty, to pay Fifty Pound on the day of their Marriage, and then appoints him a day for their meeting, but fails him once or twice, on purpose to heighten his Appetite, and at last brings him our Princess to act the Citizens Neice, whom he Treats Nobly, and several Meetings they had: In fine, she confest her kind Inclinations to him, which he no soon­er heard, but in an Extasie of Joy he urges a Mar­riage forthwith, which she excuses for want of Cloaths, and alledged it was impossible she should get any from her Uncles without smoaking the Design, whereupon in a gay humour he flings a Hundred Peices into her Lap, and bids her provide what she pleased, being resolved before she returned to her Uncles, to Marry her.

[Page 15] Accordingly next morning Married they were, and having lain with him two Nights, she told him 'twas­necessary she should go back to her Uncles, but desired him the next day to come and demand her, and her Portion, which she knew could not be denied him; He was well satisfied, and the next day went thither, Inquiring for the Grave Cittizen, who demanding his business, he told him, he came there in a civil way to demand his Wife, who was in his House, and he ho­ped he would not keep her from him. The Old Gen­tleman started at this, inquires who was his Wife, he replies, your Neice, Sir: and you know there is a certain sum of Two Thousand Pound that in her right belongs to me, which I likewise expect.

The Old Man thinking by his confidence that it was too true, in a rage runs up stairs, and meeting his Neice, Oh you Baggage (quoth he) I thought this you would come to, there's your goodly Husband below come for you, en get you gone to him: The Girl that knew no­thing of the matter, verily believed her Uncle was di­stracted, and began to vow she knew not any thing he meant. Nay, never deny it (fays he) but be gone to him, and with that drags her by the Arm down stairs, and pushing her towards the Apothecary; Here take her, he cries, and leave my House: As for the Portion you speak of, I shall not so easily part with it, but endeavour to preserve something for her Chil­dren, if she have any: The Apothecary with this be­ing no less surprized, cries: What mean you Sir! I never saw this Gentlewoman in my life before. This put them all into a greater maze, but at last the A­pothecary telling all the Histories of his Amour, they concluded he was horribly cheated, and pitty, the [Page 16] helpless salve for misery, was all the comfort they could give him.

But now the Squib is almost run to the end of the Rope, Post Varios Casus, Post tot discrimina rerum; After these notorious Pranks darly plaid by our Extravagant Mock-Princess: Justice Orders her Apprehension, and after a tadious search, she is taken in the County of Surry, and for some time detained in the Marshalseys, thence brought to the Sessions in the Old Bayly, the 17th. of January, 1672. Where Sentance of Death was pronoun­ced against her. Thus