IN the Golden Age, when Men were more Zealous to please God than to promote their own Interest; when Popish Intreagues and Jesuits Plots had not shown their Faces on the Stage of these Kingdoms, the Prince feared no Plotting against him, and the Subjects lived in Peace, every one abhorred Injustice, and he that should have acted in those days, those Crimes and Villanies which I have perpetrated in these times, would have been looked on as a Monster in Nature, unfit to live, and Destructive to the Com­monwealth; [Page 2] every one would have pointed at him in the Street, and every Man that had but the least Honesty, would have abhorred his presence, would have scorned to defile his Eyes, by beholding so vile an Object, and would have shunned the very Ground he trod on: His Memory would have been blotted out, his Good Name taken away; every one would have threw the dirt of his Indig­nation in his Face, and in every respect, revile, reject and hate him as much as possible: Though such a Man would be in a very bad case, and without the least comfort in the World, yet for ought I know his case might be better than mine; for he being under such Dejection and Despair, might have the Good For­tune to end his Life the sooner. But I cannot be so concerned for my Sins, as to kill my self by extraordinary Repentance; neither can I (as I hope I shall not) do as Judas did; I have no Somach to Die, nor no Heart to Repent. I endea­voured, by my Indirect Dealings, to Enslave the Nation, that I might live in ex­traordinary Pomp; and was always more ready to Sacrifice my Conscience for my Interest, than my Life for my Religion; and it is a hard thing for [...] to practice Piety, and repent for my pa [...]t [...] who have so long [...] Op­pression, and never knew what true Repentance was. But,

What a Damn'd Fool was I, that I did not run away in time! Could not I have had the Wit of Petres, put my Ten thousand Pound Bag of Guineas under my Arm and troop'd to Brussels? A dull Beast! to stay to be thus noos'd. I was often told of a Dutch Invasion, and a Protestant Parliament, but by St. Coleman's Necklace, I could never believe it. Now Petre, Pope and Judges, with your Dispencing Scarlet; where are you to assist me? You will be Damn'd before you will help me at a dead lift. I see, I see now, I was a meer Ass, out upon it, to be thus ont-witted! they all promised to stand by me; Ay, ay, so they will, if I will go into France.

Was it for this I perverted Justice, and did things contrary to both the Law of God and Man? Oh! Hub, Bub, Bub, Boo, what shall I do now? A PARLIA­MENT! A PARLIAMENT! What a Dreadful Sound does that word leave in a Dispencing Ear. I did not think they would prove such a sort of Men as I find they are like to prove; an Inquisitive PARLIAMENT. Oh that I might vent my Choller against them, as I used to do on the Bench against the Poor! Who would ever thought to have seen such a PARLIAMENT? This Parliament will not wink at my Faults; as my Job of Journey-work in the West, &c. This is a Parliament will have Justice, the more is my ill Luck. I was never more Drunk with Wine, than I am now with Passion; Oh how I could—Ay that I could, if I had power over the Scriblers and Ballad­mongers. I had hoped by this time to have seen the days of Queen Mary, that I might have piled those barking Persecutors, the Objects of my Hate, up in heaps like Faggots, and then have set Fire to them: Oh! I thought to have made the World tremble, and filled the Goales with them all. I would have been worse to them than Bonner, verily I would, but now the Scene is altered. They bring all my Crimes publickly on the Stage, they forget nothing that may help to Condemn me, Pox on their Memories, Hang me if I know what to do in this Case.

There is one comes with a List of the Names of those I put to Death in the West, another comes with their Dying Speeches and Prayers; a third comes to [Page 3] have Justice done upon me for the same; one cries Hang him, another cries that is too good for him; a third cries, no Death is bad enough for him; a fourth cries Hang him first and Judge him afterwards: But though they differ in all other Points, yet they agree in this, ( viz.) they all cry, Let him Dye, Oh! that I could have stopped their Mouths with Fire balls, or have Hanged them out of the way, as well as the other; then they had not lived to have done me this Mischief. But now all my Crimes, both old and new, are made publick to the Eyes of the World, and I am exposed in my proper Colours!

Curse of my Fortune for a Bitch! that ever I should be born in a time of Printing; by St. Judas, I hope he that invented this Heretical Art, is in that place where I fear to be before it is long: I had thought (if things had happened out pat) to have sent all those Stingy Booksellers and Printers to the Devil by Dozens, and to have set up an Inquisition against Printing before this.

They put my Name in Capital Letters, and leave out my Titles too, and seem to care no more for me than for Balaam's Ass. Now shall I have nothing from them but wicked Lampoons, odious New-Years-Gifts, Plaguy Memoran­dums, Satyrical Poems, &c. baul'd about the Town: One comes with a Look­ing Glass for me; another Forms a Confession in my Name; a third brings a Dialogue; a fourth invents a Petition, &c. And thus I am run down by every Poetical Scribler; and thus these Rogues, Villains, Dogs, Rascals, and Here­tical Curs, will perpetuate my Memory when I would be forgotten. I cannot leave my wonted Language, they have put me into such a Fustian-fume, worse than when the City turned me out of my Recorder-ship. But stay, let me think of something to comfort me; I have some Fellow-Sufferers, it is true, but alas! they are scarce taken notice of, it is I bear the burthen; Oh! the People have a dear love for me! I see they stand ready to devour me! Some Cordial quickly, I have a sullen Fit just a coming upon me: Oh! my Heart grows cool, a Devilish Qualm has seized me. Ah! Impeached for High Misdemeanors? By Gad it is no Jesting Matter: A Lord Chancellor! And what of that? My Purse and Mace will not defend me; my Purse will serve to put my Head in after it is off; and my Mace will serve to stick it upon afterwards: The Parliament will have Justice done without any respect of Per­sons. I shall never endure to Dye; I find there is a certain Antipathy between Pain and me, I shall never endure it. No, no, it is a Folly to talk on it: What! will they Hang a Lord Chancellor? Ay, Ay, they fear nothing. I am told of Trisilian, Sir Thomas Moor, &c. Oh terrible! terrible! Trisilian was Lord Chief Justice, and yet Hang'd at Tyburn; Moor was Lord Chancellor and yet Beheaded, a very ill Example! I never thought things would have been brought to this pass, no I'faith did not I. I had many Hopes and Assurances that this would never be; I had imagined far other things in my Head; but now to see how the Devil has ordered it, all things look Scurvy, Ill, and with a Dreadful Hue. But my Conscience also is presenting Visions before the Eye of my Mind, and my Secret Sins and Debaucheries are set in order before my Eyes; Nay, my Memory also is strangely touched, and I remember I have read in the Scriptures, such like places which might have deterred me from my Wickedness; as Job 4. 8. They that plow iniquity, and so wickedness, reap the same; we are wearied in the way of Iniquity and Perdition, and the way of God have [Page 4] we not known. What profit have we received of all our pomp and pride? They are now past as a shadow, and as a messenger that rideth in post, and we are consumed in our own iniquities. Thou shalt do no unrighteousness in judgment, thou shalt not respect the person of the poor, nor honour the person of the mighty, but in righteousness shalt thou judge thy neighbour. Cursed is he that perverteth judgment. To do justice and judgment, is more accepta­ble to the Lord than sacrifice; the integrity of the upright shall guide them, but the perverseness of the transgressors shall destroy them. I know your mighty sins, you take a bribe, and turn aside the poor in the gate from their right. I, alas! had quite forgot all these Scriptures, and to see that I should think on them now! Is there no hopes? No! I fear I shall find as severe Judges to judge me, as I have been my self to others; and, which is worse, a Severe and Impartial Judge in Heaven, who will not be brib'd, and before whom I must clear my self, or be Condemn'd. Oh! what a Reckoning have I to make! What an account have I to give! How many Women have I made Husbandless! How many Children have I made Fatherless! And how many Men have I made Money-less! How shall I answer all? My Crimes are in­numerable, the Roll Black and Long, my Offences Hainous, my Deeds most Evil, my Sins of the Darkest Die; and I must have an Impartial Judge, from whom there is no Appeal. I must leave my Pomp, forsake my Delights, my Pride must down; I must Dye, and the day is coming when I must pay for all, and answer for the least and every of my innumerable Sins: Where all my Private Intreagues, Wicked Thoughts, Damnable Designs, and Evil Deeds, will be Exposed before the Blessed Angels. God Almighty will be my Judge, and my Conscience will bear witness against me, How shall I behave my self? How shall I clear my self? I must not Dissemble, What shall I say? Oh that I could but tell? My Conscience Condemns me already, and if it do so now, What will it do then? Oh that I should bring my self to this! Who would venture his Soul for a little Trash? Who would venture to have Eternal Damnation for a little Money, and to please a Company of Jesuits? Whose Designs, I verily believe, was to Enslave the whole Nation, and make the People bow their Necks under a Papal Yoke and Tyranny. They care not who they Ruine, so that they can but advance their own Interest; and what better and easier way to Enslave the People, than by Seducing and Drawing to their own Party such of the Great ones, as are guided more by their Interest than their Conscience, the part of one of which I (have reason with shame to) confess I have too much acted, as is too well known. To keep up my Interest, I would run my self into the greatest Sin, use the greatest Oppressions, and venture my own Soul. And all that I can now do, (and all that is like to help me) is to go and prepare my self for another World, for I have little hopes of con­tinuing long in this. I have little to say in Vindication of my self, for if I had never so much, there is none would believe it, my Crimes are so Evident, Plain and Notorious.