As Touching my Conscience.

I Have been very diligent to keep my Consci­ence Clean, to Incourage It in the Vicegerency that THOU, [the great LORD of the World] hast given It over my Soul and Actions. I have kept It in the Throne and greatest Reverence and Authority in my Heart.

In Actions to be Done or Omitted, I have al­ways Advised with It, and taken Its Advise; I have neither Stifled, nor Forced, nor Bribed It; but gave It a free Liberty to Advise and Speak out, and a free Subjection of my Will, Purposes, and Actions to It.

If, through Importunity of Temptations, &c. I have at any time done Amiss, I have not taken Her up short, or stopped Her Mouth, or my own Attention to Her Chiding and Reproof; but I have, with much Submission of Mind, born Her Chastisement, and im­proved it to an Humbling of my self before THEE for my Failings; for I looked upon Her as Acting [Page 4] by THY Authority, for THY Service, and to THY Glory; and I durst not Discourage, Discounte­nance, or Disobey Her.

When She was Pleased, and gave me Good Words, I was Glad; for I esteemed Her as a Glass that represented to my Soul the Favour or Displea­sure of GOD Himself, and how HE stood affected towards me.

I have more Trembled under the Fear of a Sear­ed or Discouraged Conscience, than under the Fear of a Sharp or Scrupulous Conscience? because I always accounted the Latter, tho' more Trouble­some, yet more Safe.

I have been very jealous, either of Wounding, A Wound­ed Spirit who can bear? or Grieving, or Discouraging, or Deadning my Conscience. I have therefore chosen rather to forbear that which seemed but Indifferent, lest there should be some-what in it that might be Unlawful; and would rather Gratifie my Consci­ence, with being too Scrupulous, than Displease, Disquiet, or Flat It, by being too Venturous: I have still chosen rather to Forbear what might be Probably Lawful, than to Do that which might be Possibly Unlawful; because I could not Err in the Former, I might in the Latter.

I have been careful to advise Impartially with my Conscience before my Actions; But lest I had commited any thing Amiss, either in the Nature or Manner of the Action, I commonly, every Night, brought my Actions of the Day past, be­fore the Judicatory of my Conscience, and left Her to a Free and Impartial Censure of them; and [Page 5] what She Sentenced Well Done, I with Humility returned the Praise thereof to THY Name; what She Sentenced Done Amiss, I did humbly sue unto THEE for Pardon, and for Grace to prevent me from the like Miscarriages. By this means I kept my Conscience Active, Renewed, and preserved my Peace with THEE, and learned Vigilance and Caution for the Time to come.

Touching THY Creatures.

I have not only looked upon THY Blessings and Bounty, in Lending me THY own Creatures for my Use; but I have sought unto THEE for a Bles­sing upon them, in my Use of them. I did very well observe, That there is by my Sin a Curse in the very Creatures that I receive, unless THY Blessing fetch it out; an Emptiness in them, unless THY Goodness fill them: Tho' THOU shouldest give me Quails and Manna from Heaven, yet with­out THY Blessing upon them, they would become Rottenness and Putrifaction to me; and therefore I ever begg'd THY Blessing upon THY Blessings, as well as the Blessings themselves; and attributed the Good I Found, or was to Expect in them, to the Same HAND that Gave them.

I received and used THY Creatures, as com­mitted to me under a Trust, and as a Steward and Accomptant for them; and therefore I was always careful to use them according to those Limits, and in order for those Ends, for which THOU didst commit them to me: 1st. With Temperance and Moderation; I did not use THY Creatures to Luxury and Excess, to make Provision for my [Page 6] Lusts, with vain Glory or Ostentation, but for the convenient Support of the Exigencies of my Nature and Condition; and if at any time THY Goodness did indulge me an Use of them for De­light, as well as Necessity, I did it but Rarely and Watchfully; I looked not upon the Wine, when it gave its colour in the Cup; nor gave my self over either to Excess or Curiosity in Meats or Drinks; I checked my Self therein, as being in THY Pre­sence, and still remembred I had THY Creatures under an Accompt; and was ever careful to avoid Excess or Intemperance, because every Excessive Cup and Meal was in danger to leave me some-what in Super, and Arear to my LORD. 2dly. With Mer­cy and Compassion to the Creatures themselves, which THOU hast put under my Power and Dis­posal. When I considered the Admirable Powers of Life and Sense which I saw in the Birds and Beasts, and that all the Men in the World could not give the like Being to any thing, nor restore that Life and Sense which is once Taken from them; When I considered how Innocently and Harmlesly the Fowls, and Fish, and Sheep, and Ox­en take their Food, that THOU, the LORD of All, hast given them, I have been apt to think that sure­ly THOU didst intend a more Innocent kind of Food to Man, than such as must be taken with such Detriment to those Living parts of THY Creation; and although THY wonderful Goodness hath so much Indulged to Man-kind, as to give up the Lives of these Creatures for the Food of Man by THY express Commission, yet I still do, and ever did think, that there was a Justice due from Man, [Page 7] even to these Sensible Creatures, that he should take them Sparingly, for Necessity, and not for Delight; or if for Delight, yet not for Luxury: I have been apt to think, That if there were any more Liberal use of Creatures for Delight or Variety, it should be of Fruits, or such other Delicacies as might be had without the loss of Life; But however it be, this very Consideration hath made me very Spa­ring and Careful, not Vainly, or Superfluously, or Unnecessarily, or Prodigally, to take away the Life of THY Creatures for Feasting and Excess. And the very same Consideration hath always gone a long with me, in reference to the Labour of THY Crea­tures. I have ever thought that there was a cer­tain degree of Justice due from Man to the Crea­tures, as from Man to Man; and that an excessive, immoderate, unseasonable Use of the Creatures Labour, is an Injustice for which he must Accompt.

To deny Domestical Creatures their convenient Food; to exact that Labour from them that they are not able to perform; to use Extremity or Cru­elty towards them, is a breach of that Trust, un­der which the Dominion of the Creatures was committed to us, and a breach of that Justice that is due from Men to them; and therefore I have always esteemed it as part of my Duty, and it hath been always my Practice, to be Merciful to my Beasts; and upon the same Account I have ever esteemed it a breach of Trust, and have according­ly declined any Cruelty to any of THY Creatures; and as much as I might, prevented it in others, as a Tyranny, inconsistent with the Trust and Stew­ardship that THOU hast committed to me. I [Page 8] have abhorred those Sports that consist in the Torturing of the Creatures; and if either Noxi­ous Creatures must be Destroyed, or Creatures for Food must be Taken, it hath been my Practice to do it in that manner, that may be with the least Torture or Cruelty to the Creature; and I have still thought it an Unlawful thing to Destroy those Creatures for Recreation-sake, that either were not Hurtful when they Lived, or are not Profita­ble when they are Killed; ever remembering that tho THOU hast given us a Dominion over THY Creatures; yet it is under a Law of Justice, Pru­dence, and Moderation; otherwise we should be­come Tyrants, not Lords, over THY Creatures; and therefore those things of this nature, that others have practised as Recreations, I have avoid­ed as Sins.

Touching my Body.

My Body, which was given to Serve, and Obey, became the Empress, and Commanded, and Cor­rupted my Soul; Embased and Enslav'd It to Lust and Disorder; and my Soul, which was given to Rule, became but the Slave of my Body: I Con­sider'd, That if the business was thus carried, my Happiness must be only in this Life; and that when Death seiz'd upon me, I had an Immortal Soul that had lost Her time wholly in this World; and therefore could expect nothing but Vexation and Everlasting Confusion to all Eternity, &c. Upon these, and the like Considerations, I Resolved, and Practic'd Severity over my Body; and refused to Gratify her Intemperate Desires: Deny'd them, kept them in Awe, and under Dissipline; and be­cause [Page 9] I found that my Lusts grew Unruly, by Va­riety and Curiossity of Meats and Drinks; I Sub­dued them by Moderate Dyet, and Temperance.

My Table was Sparing to my Self, my Cloaths Plain, my Retinue, and Attendance, but Necessary: I chased away my Lusts, with the Contemplations of the Presence of GOD, the End of CHRIST's Sufferings, the Certainty, yet Uncertainty of Death, the State after Death; and mingled all my Enjoy­ments, and Desires, with these serious and clean­sing Considerations; and I Peremptorily refused to gratify the cravings of an Inordinate, Sensual Appetite; and did resolutely let them know, they should not, might not expect any better dealing from me; and my Practice was accordingly.

Concerning my Wealth.

The more I had, the more was my Care, and the greater the Charge that I had under my Hands, and the more was my Solicitude to be a Faithful Stew­ard of it, to the Honour and Use of my MASTER; but my part was the least that was in it: Indeed I re­joyced in this, that my MASTER esteemed me Faithful, committing the Dispensation thereof to my Trust; but I thought it no more mine, than the Lords Baily, or the Merchants Cash-keeper, thinks his Masters Rents or Mony his.

And therefore thought it would be a breach of my Trust to Consume or Embezil that Wealth in Excessive Superfluities of Meat, Drink or Apparel, or in advancing my Self, or my Posterity, to a massy or huge Acquest.

Touching my Reputation.

Tho' I have loved my Reputation, and have been vigilant not to lose or impair it by my own Default, or Neglect, yet, I have looked upon it as a brittle thing, a thing that the Devil aims to hit in a spe­cial manner, a thing that is much in the Power of a False Report, a Mistake, a Mis-apprehension, to wound and hurt; Notwithstanding all my Care, I am at the Mercy of Others, without GOD's won­derful over-ruling Providence. And as my Re­putation is the esteem that Others have of me, so that Esteem may be Blemished without my De­fault. I have therefore always taken this care, not to set my Heart upon my Reputation. I will use all Fidelity and Honesty, and take care it shall not be lost by any Default of mine; and if not­withstanding all this, my Reputation be soiled by Evil or Envious Men or Angels, I will patiently bear it, and content my Self with the Serenity of my own Conscience: Hic murus ahenius esto.

GOD hath given to the Sons of Men, Knowledge of GOD, p. 286, 287. in respect of Sensual Things, Objects, not only for Necessity, but Delight; But here is their Misery, as well as their Sin, That they rest not in what GOD Lawfully allows.— And hence it is, that the GOD of Mercy Curses, and that most Justly, HIS own Blessings, unto that Man that thus Perverts the Use of them. Wine Rejoyceth the Heart of Man, as it was given for that end, but when a Man in the Use of it looks no higher, but to Satiate himself, there is a Sting put into it, and t proves a Serpent. Pro. 23.32.

Touching the Conscience.

COnscience is GOD's Vicegerent in Man, Knowledge of GOD. p. 269. and when Her LORD is Angry, the Conscience will Chide: It is a Glass, wherein a Man may, by Reflection, see the Face of Heaven, and of his own Soul.

If thy Conscience blame thee, tho' never so little, Dispise It not, nor Neglect this Secret Check, [Page 13] it is a Message from Heaven, that Summons thee to thy Duty. p. 372.

Certainly the sense of the Love of GOD, is ei­ther Not at all, or not Awake, when any Man, Con­sideratly, commits the least Sin against his Con­science. p. 297.

The Direction of Conscience, when It is well us'd, is seldom without the Immediat Direction of the very Spirit of GOD, but if the Guidance of that Spirit be Neglected, it will not Return to thy Assistance when thou Pleasest. p. 369.

There is nothing in the World condu­ceth more to the Composure and Tran­quillity of the Mind, Contemp. p. 373. than the Serenity and Clear­ness of the Conscience; keep but That Safe and Untainted, the Mind will enjoy a Calm and Tran­quillity in the midst of all the Storms of the World. And although the Waves beat, and the Sea works, and the Winds blow; the Mind that hath a Quiet and Clear Conscience within, will be as Stable and as Safe from Perturbation as a Rock in the midst of a Tempestuous Sea, and will be a Goshen to, and within, it self, when the rest of the World without, is like an Aegypt for Plagues and Dark­ness.

Whatever thou dost Hazard, or Lose, keep the Integrity of thy Conscience, both before Troubles come, and under them; it is a Jewel will make thee Rich in the midst of Poverty, a Sun that will give thee Light in the midst of Darkness, a Fortress that will keep thee Safe in the greatest Danger, and that is never to be taken from thee, unless thou thy self Betray it, and Deliver it up.