First VISION.

IN one of those Mornings of the Year wherein the Earth breaths forth richer Perfumes than are to be found in the Pallaces of Princes; by the wholsomness of whose scent, the distemper'd winds (purging their Bodies) ran to and fro, [Page 2] whistling for Joy through the verdant Leaves of shady Trees, whilst Sheep lay nibbling in the Vallies to teach men humility, and Goats climbing up to the tops of barren Mountains, browzed there upon weeds, and barks of Trees to shew the misery of ambition; just at that time when Lambs were wanton as young Wives, but not lacivious: when Shepheards took care to feed their flocks, but not to fleece them; when the Lark with his Musick had called up the Sun, and the Sun with his light started up the Husbandman then, even then, when it was a morning that would have tempted the worst of sluggards to have left his bed: on a sudden I fell into a Trance, and me­thought the Caves where the most un­ruly boisterous Winds lay imprisoned, were violently [...] open; they get­ing [...], the [...] with fear of that [...]; the [...] shot Lightning and [...] in disdain of their threatning: the sturdiest Oaks [Page 3] were then glad to bow, and stand qui­vering, whilst low Shrubs and Bryars received a reward for their humility by being out of fear of danger: so dreadful fury lead forth this Tempest, that had not the Rainbow been a Water-mark to the World, (had what appear'd been real) Men could not have then suspected less than another deluge: for showers came down so fast, as if all clouds had been distilled into water, and would have hid their curled heads in the [...], whilst the waves (in scorn to see themselves so beaten down) boiled up to that prodigious height, as if [...] meant that Ships should sail in the Sky, and so waft men to Heaven that way. To make these terrors more dreadful, I fancied that the Sun with­drew his head as fearful to be seen, darkness then in triumph spread her sable wings, and totally covered the Hemisphere wherein I was; the blackness of Night was doubled at high noon; Beasts that were unac­customed [Page 4] to such sights, ran madly up and down bellowing; men were a­mazed; and in short with the rain it lightned so fast, that the place where­in I was, seemed to be half-drowning, and half burning; the Waters striving to have Victory over the flames, and they sweating as fast to drink dry the Waters. To conclude, this Tragedy was so long a playing, and was so dis­mall, the Scene was so turbulent, and affrighting: this battle of Elements bred such another Chaos, that it did put me in rememberance of that In­genious expression.

A suddain alteration now appear'd, for this storm seemed to be blown away, and all things being quiet, methought I saw a great number of men together, and drawing near unto them, I obser­ved that each one had an Almanack [Page 5] in his hand of different sorts, consult­ing with one another; these Physico-Astrological Bil-men (commonly known by the names of Mountebanks and Quacks,) endeavoured to Apifie the Doctors, and took a world of pains to no purpose, to know whence this di­sease of nature should proceed; but being all as wise as Gothams calves, they could say nothing pertinent to the matter. The tempest blown over, the Caelestiall bodies (for any thing these figger-flingers knew) were all in very good health; the twelve Signs were neither broken nor beaten down from any of the houses in Heaven; the Sun lookt with as red and lively a counte­nance as he used to do, and the Moon undoubledly (though then invisible) with as plump a face; and though some of them with their wonted impudence and ignorance did endeavour to main­tain that this dreadfull and sudden al­teration of the weather, did portend some! strange alteration in Church and [Page 6] State, yet one standing by, (wiser then all the rest) told me he could not find by all the figures which their Prog­nostications cast up their accounts by, that any such heavy event should befall the wickedness of these our present times.

Hereupon another to satisfie my curiosity, told me he was credibly in­formed that this commotion of the Air had its rise & derivation from nothing else but Conjuring; hearing him say so, could not forbear laughing, knowing the Bug-bear Art of Conjuration to be as false and fabulous as the History of `Pigmies, Amozons, and tales of old doting women. Though my laughter displeased the Gentleman, yet it hin­dred him not from assuring me, that which he said was a truth, and that this conjuring was about a Knight, not a Knight of worship, but a Westminster-Hall Knight, a Knight forsworn, a Poor Knight, a Perjur'd Knight, a Knight of the Post: Sir said he, this [Page 7] Yeoman of the Pillory and both Coun­ters, (a long Inhabitant in new Al­satia) was sometimes since sent with a Letter to the Devill; but he not re­turning with an answer, some mad fel­lows, practitioners in the Black Art, laid their heads together, and swore to fetch him from Hell headlong; and now you have seen the horred effects of their operations.

Hereupon I was very desirous to know the occasion of his sending. It was thus, said he: the Temple of the Muses (for want of carefull looking after) falling to decay, and many (that seemed to hate Barbarism, and Igno­rance) being desirons to imploy work­men about it, and repair it; But having many buildings of their own in hand, utterly gave it over; a com­mon Counsel was therefore called of all those who lived by their wits, and such who were of the livery of learn­ing, amongst whom it was found neces­sary, that to ease the private Purse as [Page 8] generall Subsidy should be levied, for the raising of such a competent Sum as might maintain the said Alms-house, of the Nine Sisters in good fashion, and keep it from falling, long were they in the collection of this Money, and though the Collectors did even swet themselves to death, yet no in­come, nothing could be gathered, the Gentlemen (for the major part) swore bloodily they would not contri­bute an half-penny, they had nothing to do with the Muses, they were meer strangers to them, and why should they be assessed to pay any thing to­wards the relief of such laizy compani­ons. Where is the Wit they boast of, if they cannot live thereon? As for Lawyers, they knew there was no Statute in any Kings Reign could com­pell them to discourse on this account; men of the Sword swore by their Arms, (some whereof were miserably out at Elbows) that they never could satisfie their hungry stomack with the [Page 9] most curious dish that ever Wit had dressing of, and therefore resolved to keep their Money against a Gut-gri­ping Campaign; Peace they cried had made them beggers, and were (some of them well qualified for that pro­fession, having lost their Legs, went up and down on borrowed Stilts, that their Country might go sound and upright upon its own. They complain much for want of Action, and Poor men had a world of Actions against them, and were at so low an ebb, that Captains gave over their charge, and were led by Serjeants, Scholars, and could have found in their hearts to have made Money of their Books, Gowns, Caps, &c. to have paid their share to this commendable work; but Earthly Souls held all that was theirs (how good soever) in such vile contempt, that even those who upon a good pawn will lend Money to the Devil, would not part with any Money to them upon any Interest, so much did [Page 10] they hate the poor ragged Wenches, and their [...].

Hereupon at the next Sessions of the Wits; it was a greed upon to appeal to the Parliaments of Gods, who taking their condition into serious consideration on it, was by them pre­sently enacted, that Apollo (out of whose brain men of Wit and Wisdom came into the World; should with all expedition descend and prevent ensu­ing mischief; least sacred knowledge having her intellectual Soul banished from Earth, having no house there to Inhabit, the Earth should (as of necessi­ty it would) turn into its primitive Chaos, and men again into Giants, to fight against the Caelestiall Powers. Mercury was likewise dispatcht from the whole Synod for the same purpose, as Embassadour to Pluto, (who is the chief) Infernal Banker to perswade him by the utmost of his eloquence, that Money might be more plentifull, or credit more easily obtained, that [Page 11] Scholars, and such who strive and struggle for the Bays for want of its assistance, might not be found to change their Lodgings oftner then their Shirts, and not knowing how to live at liber­ty, are compel'd to confine themselves voluntarily to Ludgate, that to keep them from starving, they may go a share in the Lord Mayor and Sherifs Baskets.

Apollo (according to the decree of the Caelestiall Upper House) is now descending: the Fountains of Science flow, (by his influence,) and swell to the brim: Bay-Trees to make the Garlands for learning, are every where new set, and already green, the Muses have fresh colours in their cheeks a­gain; their Temple is promised to be made more fair, and there is good hopes that Ignorance shall no longer walk or ride in that splendour, which better becomes the men of Wit and Learning. Yet for this Mercury's Embassy, (notwithstanding all his [Page 12] craft and politie) proves ineffectual; for he cannot raise the Golden Devil. A mad Greek hearing this, who was with a Poeticall fury resolved to assist him, and in a bravery wrote a suppli­cation in the behalf of Money, for its enlargement, vowing he would convert all his blood into Ink, and his brains into Cotten, but that he would have an answer.

The Petition being drawn up, he thought none could run faster to Hell with it, and be sooner there, than a Suburbs [...], a Broker, or a Knight of of the Post; the last he made choice of because of his name, and sent it by him, who it seems having a great deal of business with the Devil, could not of a long time be heard of; this was the cause of all this conjuring. Having ended his discourse, this seeming gen­tile Snipper-Snapper vanisht, so did the rout of the non-sensicall deluding Star-Gazers, and I left alone; then did I enter into a consideration, how many [Page 13] shifts men make, and how many shapes they assume; what villany they per­petrate, through what dangers they venture Conscience, Reputation, nay life it self shall be offer'd as a purchase for that glittering piece of Earth; the strange Magick of it drove me straight into a strange admiration. I perceiv'd it to be a Witch-craft beyond mans power to contend with: a Torrent whose winding Creeks are not with safety to be [...] into: a Poison that has a thousand contrary workings on a thousand bodies: for it turns those that keep it Prisoners in Iron chests, into Slaves and Idolaters; and yet even those that become such Slaves unto it, it makes them Soveraign Commanders over a World of People.

My further consideration on this Subject was totally laid aside by a con­course of people approaching towards me; hereupon I drew near to know the meaning of this unusual meeting, I was quickly informed without asking, by [Page 14] their own voluntary talking; (for great wagers were laid) that when the Petition was sent, it would not be re­ceived; or if so, it would not be read over; or if read over, not answered; for Mammon being the God of rich men, and not beggers, was worse, thought on than he deserved, and therefore would not hear the Petition of the Poor; (like a Lawyer in a busie Term) not be spoken with because his Client had not a penny to pay Fees, but sued in Forma Pauperis.

Had it been a challenge, The Devil the best Fen­cer, and very apt to quarrel. it is clear, he would have answered it: for he was the first that kept a Fen­cing-School, when Cain was alive, and taught him that Embrocado by which he killed his Brother; since which time he hath made many Millions of Scholars as expert in killing as ever he was; and and there is not a Kingdom in the world, wherein his [...] do not swarm; having [...] in [Page 15] them all to teach wicked men that damnable Science. At Sword & Buckler little Davy was no body to this skil­full Master of the Science, and as for Rapier and Dagger the Spaniard may be his Journeyman, and as for single Rapier he values Monsieur with his Sa, Sa, as little as Jack-Pudding does a Custard.

Now if he were to fight, it is a question which of the Play-houses his Prize should be performed at; and whether the Money when gathered, he would have couzened the Fencers thereof, or the Fencers him; because Hell being under every one of their Stages, the Players if they had owed him a spight, might with a false trap door have slipt him down, and there have kept him as a laughing-stock to all their yawning spectators, or had his Infernall Ship been arrested to any Action how great soever, all the Law in Westminster-Hall could not have kept him from appearing to it, (for the [Page 16] Devil [...] to be nonsuited) he would have answered that to: but the mischief would have been where should he get any that would have pleaded for him, who could have endured to see such a damnable Client every Morning in his Chamber? what Water­man for double his Fare would have landed him at the Temple; but rather have struck in at White-Friers, and left him there a shore with a Pox to him.

Whilst wagers were laying on all sides as I said before, a little Pug, or rather Hellish Imp appear'd among us; for his colour and shape differ'd from what was humane, yet he had the voice and speech of man; for thus he said; cease your vain babblings, and do not by your Actions verifie a Pro­verb among you; none but Fools lay wagers; for Grand Seignour Diabolo, my Lord and Master is fully resolved to an­swer his humble Orator, but being him­self not brought up to learning, (for to tell you the truth he can neither write [Page 17] nor read,) yet he has been at all the Universities in Christendom, and thrown damnable Heresies, like bones for Dogs to gnaw upon amongst the Doctors themselves; But having no skill but in his own Horn-book, much perplext he was to think where he should find out a proper Scribe to Scribble for him; most of the Scrivners in the Town he had at his beck, but they were so over-imploy'd in making Bonds between Usurers and unthrifty Heirs, indrawing up Leases between o­verreaching Landlords, and unwary Te­nants, in Warrants of Attorney confest to, the Wine-Merchant by a young raw nimble Squire of the faucet which gives him in-let to an House ready fur­nished with every thing good, but Wine; which House has been (it may be) the ruin of a douzen of his rash predecessors, and will be infallibly his if he have not an especiall care: these, and a hundred things more these Scri­veners are busied in, as Conveyances, [Page 18] Final Recoveries, &c. and at length by creating and undoing others, they turn Bankrupts themselves, and so knavishly deceive their Creditors. For these and other causes Don Lucifer was unwilling to take them from their Nove­rints, because in the end he knew they were but his Factors, and that he should be a part-owner in their lading himself. Then as for those Gallantillo's, who now wear misbecoming Swords by their sides instead of befitting Ink-horns, as in the days of old; those Lawyers Clerks I mean who venture the dirtying of their Silk-stockings, and Ala-mode Spanish Breeches with trudging up and down from Office to Office, that they may bubble their Clients and abuse these poor ignorant Creatures to their faces, by exacting unreasonable Fees from them; my Master taking these things into consideration, would by no means take them from their wide lines, coun­terfeiting hands and Seals, &c. but stroking them under the chins, call'd [Page 19] them his white-boys, and promised to remember them for their Ingenuity and greatpains-taking.

After this, my great Master Mon­sieur Malefico (for know Sir, (said he) he goes by several names, so that you cannot miscall him, call him what you please) I say he went next to the writing School-Masters, and writing Stationers (those puny Clark-undoers,) he took some of them by the fist, and licked their hands exceedingly, some of them having almost as many hands as Bri­areus, by which they were capacitated to counterfeit any thing; but percei­ving by the copies of their counte­nances, that for all their good Letters, they writ intollerable bad English, and that the world would think him a dunce, if there came false Orthography from him; he resolved to have no­thing to do with those Ignormus's (fellows whose faces look much like the first four lines of those humble Petitions they use to draw,) and in an [Page 20] angry mood, curst them, which curse (as we have heard since) was con­verted into a blessing, so that many of them have got great Estates no body knows how, which has been a great satisfaction to our great Pay-Master of Perdition.

I hearing this, and fearing that our poor suppliant should loose his labour notwithstanding the Devils promise, and be sent away with si nihil attuleris, resolved to do that for nothing, which many would not do for any Money. Hereupon turning boldly without any fear or terror (as I imagin'd) to his spawn of Hell, I would undertake the task if he would direct me the way to the infernal Regions; he presently took me at my word, and was strange­ly mistaken in him, for I took him to be a Foot-Post, but he proved an Aëriall guide and hurried me, in an instant to the place by me desired: neither did I much fear my safe return, since I have read of severall men who [Page 21] went thither and came back again, and as many women; but I could never hear that any of them ever returned; surely the Devil has a damnable love for the Female Sex, else he would never have put himself to the trouble and disgrace of stealing a wife from the Earth, called Proserpine Ceres's Daughter.

Upon my arrivall, I found Hells Gates standing wide open; and after­wards by inquiry, I understood they were never shut. As I was entring, I cast my eyes about on this side, and on that, to the intent I might see that beastly monstrous Porter Cerberus so much talkt on by the Antients, but not a head of him appear'd there, which made me think that he either dy'd before my coming, or else never any such animall had a being. My guide and I proceeded forward at length he introduced me into a spacious Hall, where Pluto sate in a chair of state, attended by a vast number of his Sub­jects of different forms and [...], and [Page 22] distinguishable as to dignity; by the greater or lesser splendour of Orna­ments they wore about their heads. It was a day, or rather more properly night that, was set apart to give out new Commissions, and send fresh Emis­saries into the World to supply the places of such who had tired and spent themselves in promoting new opinions in Religion, and propagating dif­ferences and dissentions amongst all sorts of People, &c. Watching my opportunity, I addrest my self to his Divelship, informing him of what I came about: but this cunning Devil suspecting that I came rather as a spie to betray him, then as a spirit to do his business, and that I was more likely to have him to Barbers-Chyrurgeons Hall, there to anatomize him, then to a Barbers shop to trim him, would by no means have an answer given to the Petition. As soon as this flat deniall was pronounced, the Knight of the Post who brought the Petition, stand­ing [Page 23] by me, presently thought to sneak off, which being perceived, it was ordered he should be secured, and that he should severely pay for all his false Oaths and Perjuries he had committed on Earth, &c. Hereupon he was hurried away by a throng of Serjeants and Yeo­men whither I know not, but undoubt­edly, directly to the place of punish­ment; for these Officers there, have not the convenience of milking their poor Prison­ers by the way at Taverns or Ale-houses as they had on Earth, till they carried him to that place of ruin, where there is no hope of ever coming out till Death becomes his Turn-key.

This sight did somewhat startle me, and thought it not safe to tarry longer in the presence, but undiscover'd slunk away, resolving to view this Hellish Country, and muster all my Wits about me, to fight against this Captain of the damned crew, and not only describe his Territories, but discover his strata­gems.

Second VISION.

WOnder is the Daughter of Igno­rance, none but Fools will wonder, how I and this grand Sophy of the Whore of Babilon should meet together, or what charms I carried about me whilst I talk with him, or without taking so long a journey to visit him in his own Kingdom, where, or nearer home (if any one had occasi­on to use his Divelship) a Porter may fetch him with a wet finger.

These are but idle Inquisitions; his acquaintance is more cheap than a strolling Player or Fidler, The Devils Rendezvous. and a Night-walker's e­qually alike dangerous. His Lodgings here are as well known as a famed Miss, Midwife, or wonder-working [Page 25] Outlandish Mountebanks are, and his walks more open and publick than those upon the Burse in Holland, or here on the Exchange; where at every step a man is put in mind of Babel, there is such a confusion of Languages. For in Term-time the Divel upon Dun rides to and frow (sweating) from London to Westminster, seldom an hour in one habit, and of different fashion and colour. In the Vacation he either plays the Devil with spend-thrift indi­gent Clarks, or else steals into a Gaming Ordinary to verifie the Proverb made on him, that he will play at small game rather then sit out, and yet appears like a Captain; at a Cock-Pit, like a young Country Gentleman: at a Bowling-Green, like a wealthly, yet thrifty Tradesman, who understanding well the Ground, and Gamesters, never plays or bets himself, but on advantage: you can never miss of him at either Coun­ter-Gates, Smith-field, the Bars; Turn­stile in Holbourn, Drury-lane; some­times [Page 26] he takes his walks in the Dutchy-Liberty; and if not there, he may be certainly found near the Monster-Tavern in the Strand. Having there­fore ( as Chamber-maids use to do for the faces of those they attend on over night) made ready my colours, the Pencill in my hand, my Card lined, my Needle (that capers over two and thirty points of the Compass) toucht to the quick, East, West, North and South, the four Trumpeters of the World, that never blow themselves out of Breath; I will ingeniously and boldly give you a Map of the Country that lies lower than the Seventeen Provinces, yea lower than the Tin-Mines, or Cole-Pits of Newcastle.

The names of the strange Country are many, which for brevity sake I shall omit to recount, and only call it by the most known name. Hell, in discovery of which, the quality of the Kingdom, the condition of the Prince, the Estate of the People, the Traffique [Page 27] thither, but none from thence Description of Hell. shall be painted to the life, as it appeared to me in my Vision.

It is an Empire that lies under the Torrid zone, and by that means it is hotter at Christmas then in Spain, Italy, or France ( which are accounted pockie hot Countries) at Midsumer. To tell the truth and shame the Devil, it is built upon stoves and hot-houses, and you cannot set foot into it, but you have a fieri facias served upon you; for like your Glass-house Furnices the fire never goes out insomuch that all the Inhabitants are broiled like Carbona­does with the sweating sickness, and yet none of them die on't.

It stands further off then the parch­ing Indies: yet to see the wonderful power and Art of Navigation, if you have but a side Wind, you may sail sooner thither then a Married-man can upon St. Lukes day to Cuckolds Point from St. Katherines, which upon sound experience, and by the opinion [Page 28] of approved Pilots and Mariners, may be done in less then half an hour.

If you travel by Land to it, the ways are delicate, even, spatious, pleasant, and very clean; but towards the end thereof, the Road is dirty, deep, stinking, &c.

You never turn when you are travel­ling thither, but keep altogether on the left hand; so that you cannot loose your way unless you turn to the right; and there you will sind with much dif­ficulty a narrow Path winding to and fro, nothing but thorns under foot, on each side thereof most dreadful pre­cipices, from whence without great and diligent care you will fall irrecove­rably to all Eternity. In this track you will meet with ghastly apparitions, e­nough to run you into dispair; but the greatest danger you will meet with, are a number of Ignes fatui, which some call new Lights; these will direct you if you follow them into an everlasting state of perdition; But if you keep [Page 29] your way, despising troubles, and trampling on difficulties, it will bring you to a place shall recompence all your sufferings.

The Temperament of the other place aforesaid, is quite contrary to this, and the miles thither are not half so long as those between London and St. Al­bans, nor a quarter so dirty in the depth of Winter, as your French miles are at the fall of the Leaf.

Some say it is an Island encompassed about with certain Rivers, called the Waters of sorrow: others prove by infal­lible demonstration, that it is a Con­tinent, dis-regarded by Heaven, for the Sun never darts its benigne, all com­forting Beams upon it.

Though unhappy in this, it is exceed­ing rich, for Christians, What Per­sons are there. Jews, and Infidels that are Usurers, or men of Honour and Estates, not doing any good to King or Coun­try but Mortgaging what they have, to propagate Self-indulgency, after the [Page 30] one has made away his Soul here for Money, and the other for pleasure and debauchery, they shall meet with them there again.

You have of all Trades, Professions, Estates and dignities in that place; ex­cepting Poets only; for I found very few of those who when living might justly challenge the Bays in those Dominions; but there were Millions of those who writ Pamphlets, Ballads, Bawdy Songs, or a Copy of Verses ( three parts stollen) in praise of his Mistress. Players too of all sorts swarm there, as they do here, who have faces like Flamboys, but Wits colder then a flint, for that when urged, will produce its nimble sparks, but you may sooner knock the others in the head than get two lines of sense from them of their own Composition. But observe how justly these Players were served, the Cacodaemons or Head Officers of that Country having smelt out that their ocupation was mercenary, and only [Page 31] for gain, he purposes to make up a Company; and be chief sharer him­self, de quibus süo loco; of whose doing you shall hear more by the next Post.

Though I have given you plain In­structions how you shall not miss of your way thither; however, least you should forget, it is but inquiring of any Tavern Drawer, who has been Cup-bearer to one of the seven deadly sins but half a score years, or any Merchant of Maiden-heads that Trades in Virginia Commodities, and either of them is sufficient to direct you [...] But neither they, nor the most weather­beaten Cosmographicall Star-catcher of them all, can take his Oath that it lies under just such an Horizon, whereby many are brought into a Fools Paradice, by gladly believing there is no such place at all; or that it stands upon Fairy­ground, or is as that Inchanted Island, the imaginary O Brazeel.

And now I come to unrip the Bowels [Page 32] of these Infernall Antipodes; and since my Flag of Defiance is hung out, I will yield to no Truce, and with Tam­berlain, like fury, march against this Grand Turk, the chief Enemy to Mankind.

Third VISION.

IN my journy to the lower Regions, I met with thousands of Infernall Travellers, who perceiving that my guide was one of their own Coun­trey-men, interrupted me not in my passage; whereupon I askt him what they were? he answered, that they were his Masters, the Devils Nuntio's; some bound for Rome, about Church Af­fairs, others for Turky, Germany, Swede­land, [Page 33] Denmark, France, Holland and Spain, to make breaches amongst them the wider, that the feuds and differences among them might continue the longer; so that by the constant effufion of an Ocean of blood, Pluto hoped to have his Kingdom the better Peopled; in short, there was no Kingdom or Coun­try, unto which there was not sent whole droves of these Diabolical Emissaries.

In a few minutes, as I said before, I arrived at the Banks of Acheron, where you are not baited at by a whole Kennell of yelping Watermen, as you are at West­minster-Bridge, Temple-Stairs, &c. And ready to be torne in pieces, to have a tester rowed out of your Pocket. In this place there is no lively-hood for Ship-Carpenters, for there is but one Boat, and in that one, Charon is the only Ferry-man; so that if a Bankrupt should bawl his heart out for a pair of Oars to make hast away from his hot pursuing Creditor, [Page 34] he must be content, to go with this dull heavy Skuller. At first this Water­mans wages was but small, being but an half-penny, then it came to a penny, 'tis now advanced, and is risen to three half-pence: for all things grow dear in Hell as on Earth, by reason it is grown so populous.

The form of this Boat is like a Graves­end Barge, and the Passengers privi­lidges alike; for there is no regard of Age, of Sex, of Beauty, of Riches, of Va­lour, of Learning, of Greatness of Birth, he that comes in first sits no better than the last, for they all sit alike; Will. Summers gives not Richard the Third the Cushion, nor was there the bredth of a Bench between the Tyrant Oliver, and a Footman.

Princes and Peasants, the Valiant and the Coward, Church­men Mores Sceptra [...] Legionious [...]. and [...], Alder­men and Cobblers, Book­sellers, and Ballad-Singers are all alike to Charon, for his [...], Luck, [Page 35] (the old Recorders Fool) shall have as much Mat, as Sir Lancelot of the Lake, he knows, though they had an Oar in every mans Boat in This Water­man is as Chur­lish as the worst that rows on the River of Thames. the World, yet in his they cannot challenge so much as a Stretcher: and therefore though he sails continually with Wind and Tide, he makes the proudest of them all to stay his leasure, It was a Comedy to see what a crowding (as if it had been at a new Play) there was upon the Acorantick Strand, so that I was forced to tarry my turn, be­cause I could not get near enough the shore; whereupon I resolved to wait with patience, walking up and down till the coast was clear, and to take my observations of the condition of the Passengers.

Amongst these, there were a great number of Courtiers, who brought with them great variety of Ala-mode ap­parell which they had bought with [Page 36] their Money, and large Patents for Monopolies, which they had begg'd. Lawyres came in great droves cloath'd in Sheep-skins, and laden with Writs, Declarations, Judgements, Leases; purchas'd Lordships, &c. Some of the Black Robe seemed there so pursy and windless with bearing three or four livings, that they could scarce speak to any body. Merchants came laden with Bagges of Guinies, and other Coin, gotten no otherwise than by (smug­gling, a smoothing expression for the down-right word Robbing) their Princes Customs. Captains came marching, some in Armour Cap-a-pee, but unbatter'd, some in Coats all over bedawb'd with Gold Lace, raised out of the ashes of dead pay, Scholars in their [...] ragged Gowns throng'd here together, with their long sleeves cram'd with Books of Logick of di­verse sorts, according as each one fancied; one was clearly for Father Aristotle, and his Commentators; ano­ther [Page 37] was so in love with old greasie Jack Seton, that he has lickt him over again and again; others were for the new Des Cartesian way, and his fol­lowers: I askt a stander by (that was waiting for a passage as well as my self) what he thought might be their intent? Introth, (said he) I cannot tell, unless that hearing that the Devil is a subtile Logician, and full of Sophistry, they are going to try whether they can run him down in Disputation. Citizens, and others who made themselves Bank­rupts; and thereupon took the Kings-Bench or Fleet, to no other end than to defraud their Creditors, came hither in great numbers, sweating basely under the burthens of that, for which other men had sweat honestly before; there were some here, of all Professions and Oc­cupations. At last, there came a parcel of things, Animals, what shall I call them, the [...] of whom had like to have made [...] split my sides with laughter; approaching nearer their [Page 38] habits and expressions, inform'd me who they were, a Nursery of Rogues and Whores, spawn'd either in Hatten-Garden, Barbican, or More-fields, in proving their profession by strolling (like Gipsies) up and down the Coun­try, as they could never agree when on Earth, there being always a Civil War among them; so their feuds follow­ed them thither; there was nothing, but thou Rogue, thou Whore, to be heard among them, but the women were more violent one with another, then with their contrary Sex; there was hardly one among them that had not some very visible scar in their faces, which they received either from the heavy or hot blows of Mars or Venus, those who had them not in their faces, had sad Symptoms of their displeasure in other places, which might be con­jectur'd by their halting, &c. The Van-Leader of this Rabble-rout, seem'd at a distance, to be a very handsom young fellow; but coming near, and [Page 39] minding him well, I quickly found my mistake; for it was a Woman whom I knew, one that had been a Whore to the whole house, and such Auditors as would stick at nothing for above a douzen years. Necessity forced her into this Masculine habit; for having worn out her Petticoats to tatters, she undertook to play a mans part; and so apparell'd, rub'd off with what belonged to the stock of the house; had not the Lace been copper, the red Coat she wore would, have amounted to a good price. The next that came had pincht something to cover his nakedness, but he fared nothing near so well; having only converted a piece of an old Scene into a Champain Coate, which made him look so Comically, that the most serious there present, could not for bear laughing. Every one had got his Snack, and all in several fashions, that one would have thought each man came from a several Country, all ready drest to Act a Play, [Page 40] to the Devil. The Woman appear'd most pleasantly to the eye, having taken up some properties of their House, without the consent of their Patron, with which they made a hard shift to dress themselves, having worn out their own cloaths by strolling like Gipsies up and down the Countrey; one, though not above fifteen years of Age was drest in the habit of an old Bawd; another as young as her, in the fashion of a Witch; a third in a garb representing a She-Devil, and all of them so strangely, and phantastically apparrel'd, that all the Drolls, Farces, or Comedies that they ever Acted, came short of this pleasant sight of their Persons.

What every one brought with him, Bag and Baggage, he was compelled to throw down, like Travellers on the Road beset by High-way-men, were forced to deliver, e're they could have a Pasport to be shipt into the Flemish Hoy of Hell bound for the Netherlands, [Page 41] for if every man should be permitted to carry with him out of the World what he most delighted induring his abode there, the Vessel would be over­laden, and consequently sink under its burden: Charon therefore strips them of all, and leaves them as bare as the native naked Indians; and glad they were ( for all their howling to see them­selves so fleeced) that for their Silver they could not have wastage over. In therefore they throng'd, some wading up to their knees; and those were young men, they were loth to make too much hast, swearing they came thither before their times. Some up to the middles, and those were Women, they seeing young men go­ing before them, were asham'd not to venture farther then they. Others waded to the chin, and those were old men, they seeing their riches and vast Treasury taken from them, were de­sperate, and would have drownded themselves, but that Charon slipping [Page 42] his Oar under their bellies, tost them out of the Water into his wherry. The Boat is made of nothing but the worm-eaten ribs of Coffins nailed toge­ther, with the splinters of Fleshless shin­bones, dig'd out of Graves, and broken in pieces. The Skulls that he rows with, are made of Sextons Spades, The Stuff of which Cha­rons Wherry is made. which had been hung up at the end of some great and dreadfull Pestilence or Contagion: the Bench he sits upon, is a rock of dead mens skuls, the worst of them being an Emperour, as great as Prester John, or Mahomet, and a huge heap of their Beards serving for his Cushion. The Mast of his Boat is an Arm of an Yew-Tree, whose boughs instead of Rosemary had wont to be worn at Funeralls. The Sail was made of two patcht winding-sheets, wherein a Broker, a Catch-pole, and Tally-man had been laid; and if at any [...] it wants mending, it is al­ways pieced with the winding-sheets [Page 43] of Bawds, Bullies, Pimps, Panders; and the like.

The Waterman himself is an old churlish grisly-faced fellow, with a Beard filthier than a Bakers Maukin with which he sweeps his Oven, which hung full of knotted Elf­locks, Charons Character: and serves him for a Swabber in foul weather to cleanse his Vessel. His eyes stare so wide, (by being blear'd with the Wind) as if the lids were supported by gags to keep them open. More salt rheumatick Water runs from them, than would pickle all the Herrings that shall be carried to Roterdam for a Twelve month; his hands are so hard, and scaled over with dirt, that Passengers think he wears Gauntlets. His breath belcheth out nothing, but stinking rotten damps, which lie so thick and foggy on the face of the waters, that his fare is half choaked e're they can get to land. The Sea-coal furnaces of twenty Brew-houses, make not [Page 44] such a smoak, nor the Tallow-pans of as many Chandlers (when they melt) send out such a smell. He is dreadfull in looks, and currish in Lan­guage, yet as kind, and as affable as a Courtier where he takes a liking. He sits in all storms bare-headed; for if he had a Cap, he would prove as un­mannerly as a Quaker, and would not pull it off to a Pope. His appa­rell. He has a Gown girt about him made of Wolve-skins tanned, sig­nifying his greediness, but worn so long, that it has almost worn away his Elbows. He is thick of hearing to them that sue to him; but to those against whose wills he is sent for, a Fidler hears not of a Wedding, or the opening of a Window sooner.

The River which Charon plies upon, is as stinking, muddy, but much thicker and blacker, than Fleet-ditch after a great rain. In taste it is very bitter, yet to those who know how to distill these deadly Waters, very wholesom.

Fourth VISION.

CHaron having just discharged his fraight; I cry'd a Boat, a Boat; for I was unwilling to go over with such a crowd of miserable sad Souls. My voice being heard by this Skuller, although he was very weary; over he came; As soon as I was well seated, Charon began to complain what a bawling there has been, with what fares he has been posted, and how with much tugging (his Boat being so thwack the has split one of his Oars; and broke his Boat-hook, so that he canrow but slow­ly till it be mended. And were it not that the Souls pay excessive rents for dwelling in the body, he swore by the [Page 46] Stygian Lake, he would not let them pass thus for a trifle, but raise his price; why may not he do it, as well as fine Misses their rotten Commodities,

And now he began to brag, what a number of glittering sparks, gallant Fellows, and delicate Wenches went lately over with him, whose names he had in his Book, and would have particularly nominated them unto me, but that they earnestly intreated him, not to spread their names any further, since they were so notoriously known already.

The only wonder (said Charon) that these Passengers drive me into, is, to see how strangely the World is altred, since Pluto and Proserpina were mar­ried: for whereas in the days of old, men had wont to come into my Boat all slasht, stab'd and cut, some with one Arm, others with never a Leg; a third sort with heads like Calves, cleft in sunder, and the mouths of their wounds gaping so wide, as if they would have [Page 47] cry'd for a Boat to come unto them; but now the case is altered; for my Fares for the most part, are such, who were poison'd by their insatiate wives, that they may take the freedom of having their Lust satisfied by others; or else dispatcht by their longing Heirs for living too long; Miscent By this you may under­stand that Charon can speak Latine. Aconito Novera filius ante Diem Patris inquirit anno, some are scorched to death by whores, and so hurried out of this World; others come reeling out of Taverns into my Boat, and if they come bleeding too, it is ten to one the fatall wound was received either by giving the lie, or invindicati­on of the pocky whore their Mistress. Surfeits on Food, as well as Wine send Shoals of wretched mortals to me. I have been lately troubled with great droves of People who dy'd in the field; but how I pray? not in the bed of Honour by Sword or Bullet, the miserable wretches, were hunger­starved. [Page 48] A little before these, came a parcel of drowned Rats, but as fat as Bacon-hogs; they had been half rosted, and half boiled, by their rank scent, I knew they had more to do by water than by land; and since their profession was somewhat like mine, I was fain for pity sake take them in, for they had not a Stiver among them all. Now if the three Destinies spin no finer threds than these; men must either (like Esculapions) be made im­mortall for meer pity sake, and be sent up to Jupiter, or else the land of the Black Moors must be made bigger: for the Great Lord of Tartary will shortly have no room for all his retainers.

By this time ( Charon looking be­fore him,) as Watermen use to do, that is behind him, perceiving he was almost a shore, he desisted from dis­coursing further, and without loosing any time, I leapt ashore.

The ways are so plain and direct, that I soon arrived at the Court-gate [Page 49] of Avernus, which stood wide open. Hells Porter fawn'd upon me, yet would not let me pass, till I gave him his fee. He takes no Money, but executes his bawling office only for Victualls; his name is Cerberus, but the Houshold call him more properly the Black-dog of Hell. He has three heads, but no hair upon them, the place is too hot to keep hair on, instead of hair they are all curl'd over with Snakes, which reach from the Crowns of his three heads alongst the ridges of his back, to his very tail, and that is wreathed like a Dragons tail. Twenty couple of Hounds make not such a damnable noise when they howl, as he does when he barks; his property is to wag his tail when any comes to the Gate for entrance, and to lick their hands; but upon the least offer of making an escape, he leaps at their throats; sure he is a mad Dog, for where ever he bites, it rankles to the death.

[Page 50] His eyes is ever watching, his mouths are continually gaping, and his howling is perpetuall.

No sooner was I entred, But I met with thousands of miserable Souls, pinion'd and drag'd in Chains to the Bar, where they were to receive their Triall, with bitter [...] be­wailing (all the way as they went) and with loud execrations, cursing the bodies with whom they sometimes frolickly kept company, for leading them to those impieties, for which they must (to their everlasting ruin and destruction) dearly answer.

It was Quarter-Sessions in Hell, and looking narrowly about me, I chanced to see my Knight of the Post, who was sent from Earth on a message to Pluto: though he had been at many of their Arraignments, and knew the horrour of the Executions; yet I perceived by his Countenance that the sight of the Prisoner struck him into an astonishing amazement.

[Page 51] The Judges are set, (being three in number,) severe in look, sharp in Justice, shrill in voice, and dreadful in their sentence: the Prisoners are Souls that have committed Sessions in Hell, Treason against their Creati­on: they are called to the Bar, their number infinite, their crimes numberless the Jury that must pass upon Sin is the Jury. them, who are their sins em­panneld out of the several Countries where they had their being, & are sworn to find whose Conscience is Conscience given in evi­dence. the witness; who upon the Book of their Lives, where all their deeds are written, gives in dangerous evidence against them; the furies who stand at the elbow of their Consciences are there already with flaming whips to make them con­fess: for they are the Beadles of Hell, that whip Souls in the Devils Bride­well, or else his Executioners to put them to worse torments.

The Indictments are of severall qua­lities [Page 52] according to the The seve­ral [...] uts. several offences. Some are arraigned for Ambi­tion in Court and Camp: nor is the greatest Monarch on Earth therein the least spared, if his Ambition be found to swell to that height, that it runs beyond its own proper bounds, and overflows the Territories of his Neighbouring Princes: some for cor­ruption in the Church, and minding more the fleecing than the fatning of their flock: Some for the hollow­heartedness in the City: some for deceit and cheating in shops: some for Pride in the Pulpit, and loftiness in the streets; some for abominable Hypocriste in a Conventicle: some for eating men alive in Prisons: some for Briber y; some for Extortion: a World for Drinking and drabbing; neither was there a small number of such who impudently and ignorantly kill People by vertue of a License to practice Physick. In short, every parti­cular [Page 53] sin at his heels to con­demn Such who sell. Sheeps­turds guilt o­ver, for Uni­versall Di­seases, curing Pills. him; so that to plead not guilty were folly; to beg for Mercy, Madness: for if any should do the one, he can put himself upon none but the Divel, and they to make quick work, give him his Pasport; if any do the other, the hands of an hundred Monarchs under their great Seals will not be taken for his Pardon, nor the least mitigation of his punishments; for though con­science comes to this Court poor in habit; Diseased in her self, wretched in her face, heavy in her gate, and hoarse in her voice, yet carries she such stings within her to torture the poor Prisoner if he confess not the truth, that every word is a Judges Sentence; and when he has spoken, the accuser is not suffered to plead for him­self, nor to fee Counsel to do it for him.

In what a lamentable condition stands therefore the unhappy Prisoner; [Page 54] his Indictments is implea­dable, The misery of a Prisoner in that Jury. his evidence irrefu­table, the Judge Impeni­trable and implacable, the Judgement formidable, the Torments insufferable, the manner of them un­utterable, he must endure a death with­out dying; Torments ending with worse beginnings: by his shreeks others shall be affrighted, himself afflicted; by thousands pointed at, by not one amongst Millions pitied; he shall see no good that may help him; what he most does love, shall be taken from him; and what he most doth loath, shall be his companions. Ad hereunto the sad cogitation of that dismal place, to which he is condemned; the remembrance whereof, is almost as grevious, as the punishment there to be endured.

That you may apprehend the better the horrour of this Vision; suppose that being gloriously attired, delici­ously feasted, attended on Majestically, [Page 55] Musick charming thine Ear, Beauty thine Eye, and that in the very height of all Wordly Pomp that thought can aspire to, thou shouldst be tumbled down from some high goodly Pinacle (built for thy pleasure) into the bottom of a Lake, whose depth is unfathomable, and circuit incomprehensible: and that being there thou should'st be surrounded in a moment with all the polluted Villians that ever suckt damna­tion from the nasty breasts of black Impiety; that the place it self is gloomy, hideous, inaccessible, pestilentiall by damps and rotten vapors, haunted by Millions of Devils, and pitcht all over with Clouds of darkness, that the eye of the Moon is too dull to pierce through them, and the fire of the Sun to weak to dissipate or dissolve them: then that a Sulphurous stench, must still strike up into thy nostrills, Adders and Toads be still crawling on thy bosom; and which way soever thou turnest, a fire flashing in thine eyes, yet yield­ing [Page 56] no more light than what with a glimpse may show others how thou art tormented, or else show unto theethe tortures of others, and yet the flames to be so devouring in the burning, that should they but glow upon Moun­tains of Iron, they were able to melt them like Mountains of Snow.

Lastly that all these horrors, are not woven together to last for years, but for Ages of Worlds, and Worlds of Ages. Into what gulf of desperate calamity would not the poorest beggar throw himself headlong into, rather than taste the least dram of this bitter portion.

If Imagination can give being to a more miserable place than this descri­bed; such a one, or no worse than such a one, is that into which the guilty Souls are led captive after they have received Sentence of Condemnation: and what tongue is able to relate, the groans and Ululations of a wretch so distressed; ten thousand Pens of [Page 57] Steel would be worn blunt in the de­scription, and yet leave it unfinished.

Fifth VISION.

NOw since the Infernall Sessions is adjourned, and the Court broken up, let us seek out our Knight of the Post, we have already related his ill success in his Message when he addrest himself to the Divel, and by deliver­ing a Petition, for his pains he was sent to an house of Correction, but the Devil considering, that if any longer he detain'd him there, he should be a looser for want of his service on [Page 58] Earth, caused him to be set at Liberty, and ordered him to deliver into his paws the supplication about Gold, his Secretary was called to read it to him; but he had not read above half way, before the Work-Master of witches snatcht it out of his hands, and thrust it into his bosom in great rage, railing at this Letter-Carrier, and threatning to have him lasht by the Furies for his loitering so long, or Canterized with hot Irons for a fugitive: but this Devil in carnate recounting the many ser­vices he had done his Infernall worship he was dismist with a blessing, telling him moreover, that during his absence the Author of the supplication had been landed by Charon, of whom he willed to inquire within what part of their Dominion he had taken up his lodging.

Now I understand he intends to answer every word of the Petition by word of mouth; yet because he knows, that at the return of the Post afore­said, and walking upon the Exchange [Page 59] of the World, whither he charges him to hasten for the good of the Stygian Kingdom that altogether stands upon quick Trassique, they will flutter about him crying, what news? To stop their mouths with something, stop them with this; that touching the enlarge­ment of Gold (which is the first branch of the Petition) say thus The Devils answer [...] he Petition. that Pluto's, ( Pluto's Kins­man) being the only setter up of tempting Idols, was born a Cripple, but had his eye-sight as fair as the day; for he could see the faces and fashions of all men in the World in the twinckling of an eye. At which time for all he went upon Crutches, he made a shift to walk a­broad with many of his Friends, and none too but what were good men, a Poet or a Philosopher might then have had his company sooner than a Justice of the Peace, or a Skarlet Gown Alder­man: Virtue went at that time in good cloaths, and Vice fed upon beggery: [Page 60] Alms-Baskets, Honesty and Plain-Dealing had all the Trade in their own hands, so that Prodigals, Cheats, and Desperado's with the rest of their dissolute Faction, could not tell how to live, for want of the assistance of their Guardian-Angels, and in great danger of starving in the very streets. Jupiter taking notice to what side Pluto's did most incline, for what reason I know not, struck him stark blind, so that ever since he hath played the good Fellow, and the meerest Fop in all the Town may lead him where he list, and make sport with him in any drunk­en assembly: now he regards not who thrusts his hands into his pockets, nor how it is spent, a Fool shall have his heart in these days, as soon as a Physi­cian and an Ass who cannot spell, that will never as long as he lives, get out of his Horn-book, go laden away with Guinyes, Duckatoons, and what not from his Indian Store-house, when Ibis Homer, that hath lain sick Seventeen [Page 61] years together of the University Plague, watching, and patiently wait­ing for a Cure, shall not for an hundred weight of good Latine, and twice the quantity of most excellent Wit, and Reason, receive a three penny weight in Silver: his ignorance arising from his blindness, is the only cause of this Comedie of Errors; so that untill some Mountebanck or Quack by some means Galenical, Chymical or Chyrurgical, can pick out that Pin or Web which sticks in both his eyes, (and that will very hardly be,) it is Irrevocably set down in the Adamantine Book of fate, that Gold shall be made a perpetual Slave to Slaves, a drudge to Fools, a Fool to make Woodcocks merry, whilst Wise-men mourn for want thereof: or if at any time he chance to fly for re­fuge into the Chamber of a Courtier, to a meer Hawking Country Gentle­man, to a young Student at the Law, or to any Tradesmans eldest Son; the first will be sure to hold him fast and make [Page 62] much of him, the second to it may be will take delight in his Society; but it was a thousand to one the last will be soon cloyed with his conversa­tion, and in a little time be totally rid of his company.

He would have proceeded further, had he not been interrupted by some weighty business; this gave me an opportunity to go and make a Geogra­phicall Survey of Pluto's Kingdom.

The Temperament of the Air of this place, is very hot and dry, ten thousand times warmer then that which lies right under the Line. It is so unwhol­som, that the strongest Mortall living cannot breath in it the tenth part of a minute, unless he bring with him some Aqua Caelestis, a certain Heavenly Antidote which will preserve him from its killing Contagion.

There are no lights in that Firma­ment but Blearing Stars putrid Ex­halations, flying thither, proceeding from the rotten stinking Carkasses of [Page 63] Vice and Vanity, the number where­of is innumerable: though light be comfortable, this is comfortless, and no otherwise usefull than to burn in the bowels of Hells-dark-Lanthorns, and to light the eye where it shall see Millions of things in horrid and most dreadful shapes in different forms; the least affrighting of them all would if seen on Earth, at first sight, kill the most undaunted man that ever there had being. These Infernal Terri­tories are so vastly extensive that not one of the Inhabitants (how skilfull soever in Cosmography) nay not the GrandSeignour of the Place, could ever find out its Longitude, but the Learn­ed here will not admit of Antipodes, that the form thereof is Globular, none will deny: and like the Earth in some measure has a small Sea or Lake, where­into some Rivers do discharge them­selves. There is one River of a very strange Nature and wonderfull opera­tion, the water is bitter in taste, and [Page 64] unsavory in scent, and whosoever drinksd own but half draught of his re­membred former follies, it will prove Amaulentum Poculum; Gall is Honey, and Assa Fetida, Damask Roses to it.

Some I knew whose names were fa­mous and dreadful, through the whole Town for making it their business to beat the Constable aud his Watch, and in the continuance of their Morning Rambles, if they could not find the opportunity of being so mischievous to kill whom they met, then content themselves with breaking innocent Glass-windows; and at last being tired with doing things shamefull, and evil, repair to their respective Lodgings, and sleep out the remainder of the day; that they may be inabled to go through stitch with the dark deeds of the en­suing Night. As it was no laughing matter, I could not find in my heart to be so vain as to smile to see what sower faces they made when they [Page 65] tasted this water, one sip was sufficient, it would not go down the thousandth part so fast as a Glass of Burgundy or Racy Canary.

Madam Fickle, and Madam Fidle Faddle with such like bundles of Ex­change Trompery, who had blown up their unthinking Husbands beings, by costly Essences, they tasted too a cup of their never to be forgotten Pride and Vanity, but instantly their sighs came so thick from them, that filling the Soul with too much wind, Charon was in great fear that the Boat would overset; besides, this water is common­ly turbulent, and how can it otherwise choose, being stirred with so many fighting perturbations.

Here were a number of Water­drinkers as of Epsom, Tunbridge, Dul­lidge, &c. who drink it not for any great Vertue they found in it, but they loved the places, because it gave some (and they were Gamesters) an opportunity to cheat aud couzen, and [Page 66] to light on luxurious Women, to Cukcold their Husbands, these tasted too, but as gingerly as the Ass eating Thistles fearing to prick his chops. That little they swallowed, brought fresh into their remembrances, all their co­zenages Impieties. Debaucheries, &c. and without hiding the least fault, ex­claimed aloud against their Villany and wickedness. There was a parcel of Semstresses who were got into this crowd, and with the rest drank of these bitter Waters, to external view they seemed to be very pretty Moppets, but understanding what their profession was, and how educated, being first pickt up by the Reverend Matrons their Mistresses, for the sake of their young and handsom faces, which would be a great inducement to bring Custom to their shop, viz. Young Gallants (alias) Scourers of the Road near Maiden head-Thicket, who teach them quickly another Trade besides what they learned of their Mistresses, and being set up [Page 67] for themselves, managed it to an hair, I say understanding their Occupation and practices, undoubtedly their out­sides were not so fair, but that their in­sides were as foul, these (having each of them drank a draft) shed an Ocean of tears, running down like Torrents over their blubber'd cheeks, and with such continued streams, that all the Linnen in their shops would not serve for Handkerchiefs to dry their deluged countenances; and all this came by thinking what variety of pleasures they had untimely left behind them, and what torments they were like to endure everlastingly, for so much indulging their senses, with all manner of Riot and Luxury.

As for the name of this first River it matters not much; the Antients call it by the name of Styx; but call it by what name you please, all that I shall say further of it is this, that the Water is very thick; and how can it otherwise choose, being stirred with so many [Page 68] thousand fighting perturbations. Ha­ving passed over this first River, you shall presently have your way stopt by another; it is a little cut by Land, but a tedious and dangerous Voyage by Water. Here too you must wait your Marriners leasure, the same wrangling ill lookt Fellow that was your first man, is your last man; here you shall lie at every Havens mouth for a wind till Belzebub hales you: this River the Men of Old, whose Nodles were filled with stories of their own making about Gods and Goddesses, and their off­spring begot by stealth on over-pow­red Mortals, Devilish fighting Fellows. I say they called this River Acheron, which after many Circumgirations falls into the Stygian Lake.

It is the Water of loath­somness, Loathing of [...] Second Ri­ver. and runs with a swifter current than the former: for when the Soul sees deaths Barge [...] for her, she begins to be sorry [Page 66] for her Ante-acted evils, and then she is sailing over [...]; but when she draws the curtain, and looks [...] upon the Pictures, which her own hand drew, and finds them to [...] ugly, deformed, disproportionable, [...], &c. she abhors her own work­manship, and wishes for more Sail, that she may the more speedily be transported over the Stygian Torrent.

The third River is cal­led Repentance of our Sins, the third Ri­ver. by the first born Sons of Apollo, Cocytus, some­what cleaner than both the other, and is the Wa­ter of Repentence, being an Arm of Styx.

Many have here been cast away, and frozen to death, when the River (as oftentimes it doth) grows wonder­full cold.

All sorts of Souls are not suffered to sail upon it; for to some (as if the Water had sense, and could not brook an unworthy burden; it swells into inexpressible Tempests, to fling them [Page 70] to and fro, and at length in the storm are cast away and drowned; to others more love cannot appear between two faithful and indeared Friends, than the gentle smoothness of these Waters do express.

Besides these, there are two other Rivers, viz. Phlegeton and Pyriphlege­ton, burning Rivers which fall in with Cocitus: Sailing over which there is no great matter of danger; (though they look with all the Vnless you sail safely even by the Waters of Repen­tance, you are in danger to be drowned in de­spair. horror and dread im­aginable,) but if they do no harm, it is be­cause the Ferry-man hath wafted you safely over the Waters of Re­pentance; otherwise those hot liquors will instantly invade and seize all parts of your body, and penetrate your very Soul. No boiling Oile, Lead, or what the Earth can produce most hot, horible, and tormenting comes [...] it in the least degree.

[Page 71] Whilst I was in a serious contempla­tion about things of this greatest im­portance; news was brought me by a certain malitious pug, (to divert me from such thoughts) of a very pleasant passage between Charon and Mercury, the Messenger of the Gods, which you shall find discovered in the next Visi­on.

Sixth VISION.

AT the Banks-side, when Pluto's Pursevant came to take Water, Mercury ( that runs of all the Errands between the Gods) having been of a [Page 72] Message from Ceres, to her daughter Proserpine (Hells tawny sooty Queen) finding Charon in his Boat, because as if it had been in a long Vacation few fares were stirring, fell to cast up old reckonings between himself and the Weather beaten-Skuller, for certain od trifling things laid out about Charons business.

The first Item that stood in Mercury's bill was for Nayls to mend your Boat, when two Baylifs and their Bums came drunk from a Bawdy-house, and fall­ing out upon the division of the spoil, which they had got by arresting a Monyed Crack, split three of the boards with their Club-fists — 4 d.

Item laid out for Pitch to trim your Boat, about the middle of the last great Contagion that she might go tight and brave, and do her labour clean­ly — 11 d.

Item For Glew and whip-cord to mend your broken Oar — 3 d.

Hold there cry'd Charon; in your [Page 73] two first Items, you have somewhatover­reatcht me; but I must [...] this is reasonable; yet I have carried a great many in my Wherry Male and Females, from the Silken Whore to the pitifull poor Tatterdemalion that have had forty times more Whip-cord given them for nothing: but now go on.

Item For Juniper, and other Pocky and Plaguy Antidotes, Perfumes, to sweeten your Boat after it carried those bone-eaten, flesh- [...], wretches whom Hot-houses and Hospitals had spew'd out of their tuition.

A Pox on them (cry'd Charon,) who got by the Raskalls?

Item Lent to a Company of Country­strolling-Players, Eleven in number one shearer and his Female Cub, three Hackney Jades, and Six Journey men, that with wandring up and down to Fairs and Markets to little or no pur­pose, through extream want, Pox and Poverty were brought to Deaths door; which Mony was lent upon their stock [Page 74] of apparrell, which they call proper­ties, to pay for Boat hire, intending to try, if they might be suffered to play in the Devils name, which stock after­wards came into your claws, and you dealt upon it, in all amounting to thirteen pence half-penny.

They had a Pattent, and his hand to a Warrant, but their rags served to make me Swabbers, because they never fetcht them again; so that belike he proved a good Lord and Master to them, imploy­ing them to make new Perge Mentiri, prophane Drolls, and obscene Farces, which should be sent annually by Hells Nuntio, to the Rabble of Wit-pretenders, and Play-spoilers that constantly erect Booths in, and frequent Bartholomew, and Southawrk Fairs.

Item, when a Cobbler of Poetry, called a Translator, Play-patcher, or Cutter of Plays, was condemn'd to be duckt three times in the Cucking­stool of Periphlegeton (being one of the scalding Rivers in Hell, because [Page 75] he scoft at his betters, and reprehended the works of those he could not mend, laid out at that time for a disguize to convey him away from the shame and punishment — 4 d.

Item For Needle and Thred to dearn above two and fifty holes in your sails, and to a Botcher for half a days work about it — 7 d.

That botcher (cry'd Charon) I pre­ferred to be Lucifers Taylor, because he works with a hot Needle and burnt Thread, and that seven pence he gave me for my good will; why should not I take bribes as well as others: if it be Lawfull for them, it is so for me. I know not how you may escape said Mercury; but for others you speak of, they will find a severe punishment for so doing.

Mercury having cast up all the whole sum of his debt, the Skuller told him, he was now out of Cash, it [...] a hard time, and he doubted there is some secret Bridge made over to Hell, and [Page 76] and that they steal thither in guilt Coaches.

But however (continued he) though the Market proves bad, bear with me till another Epidemicall Sickness happen; or some great Battail fought between the Hungarians, and the Great Turk, or next Champain between the French and Hollanders with their Allies, any of these three, will be sufficient to wipe off not only my old score, but build me likewise a new Boat: Mercury see­ing no remedy, though he knew well enough that the old churle was not without Money, took his wings and away he flew to Olimpius.

Scarce was he out of sight, but on the other side of the River stood a company, crying out lustily, a Boat, a Boat hey, and who should they be but a gallant Troop of English Spirits, all stob'd, cut, and slasht like so many old Romans, that for overcoming death in their manly resolutions, were sent away out of the field [Page 77] crowned with the Millitary Honour of Arms.

The foremost of them was a person of so comly and composed presence, that Nature and Fortune had done him wrong, if they had not made him a Souldier. In his countenance there was a kind of Indignation fighting with an exalted joy, which by his very gesture was plainly apparent; for he was jocond that his Soul shook hands with his body in so glorious a tri­umph, but disdainfully angry that she wrought her enlargement through no more dangers; yet were there bleeding [...] enough on his Breast, which testified he did not yield till he was conquered, and was not conquered, till there was nothing of a man left in him to be overcome: for besides those Mortui & muti Testes, which spake most for him, when he himself was past speaking, he made a shift to lay down an overplus of life (when the debt was discharged at one mortall payment be­fore) [Page 78] only to shew in what object ac­count he held deaths Tirany, Charon glowting upon him, demanded who he was, but he scorning to be his own Chronicle, or Trumpet of his merited same, and not suffering the rest to exe­cute the Office, they all leaped into the Ferry. Amongst whom one that sate out of his hearing within the reach of the Waterman (to shorten the way, London quoth he) gave him breath, Holland, hath felt his blows, and Eng­land now cannot choose but find his loss. He was naturally inclined to the Sword, yet knew better how to end quarrels than begin them. At Sea he lost an Arm with unimitable patience, which first storm did rather drive him on to more dangerous adventures, though to the hazard even of a Ship­wrack, then like a fearfull Merchant run his fortunes and reputation on ground, for the boisterous threatnings of every idle billow. Wars at Sea ceasing, he went into France to try [Page 79] his Valour by Land, and it was his hard hap to loose an Eye before Maes­tricht, hereupon he resolved to leave the remainder of his body to that Country, which had taken from him one of the best Jewels of his life, since it had a piece of him he would not so dishonour the place, as to carry away the rest untoucht, or unbroken, into the field therefore comes he, (the Fates putting both eyes into one,) of purpose that he might look on none but his Enemies; where a Battail being to be fought, his own merit advanced him to advance the Colours, by which digni­ty, he became of the fairest marks, which was then to be shot at, and where a great part of that days glory was to be won. But such was his hard Fortune that the Enemies ambition thirsting after his Staff, threw at all in hope to win his Colours, and instead of striking them out of his hands struck him: in so much that he was twice shot and twice run through the body, yet [Page 80] would not surrender his hold for all those breeches, but stripping the prize for which they, off from the Staff to which it did belong, and wrapping his dying body in it, before his Colours could be called his Winding-sheet with his Sword in his hand he threw him­self into the thickest of danger, where after he had made severall prodigious proofs of his incomparable, Valour most valiantly came off with no more life left, than what would serve to deliver up his spirit in the Arms of none but his Friends and fellow Souldiers. So that as if Fortune had been jealous of her own inconstancy Death (at her entreaty) took him away in the Meri­dian of a happiness, lest any black Eve­nings overcasting should spoil it with alteration.

Charon hearing so laudible a Cha­racter of this brave young Man, hum'd, and seemed much pleased with his fare: Now whilst this Comrade of his was making this Relation this Valiant [Page 81] Ensigne was delivering an Oration to his fellow Souldiers there with him in the Boat wherein he proved this Thesiis.

Elevating his voice, said he, fellow Souldiers give me leave to tell you that danger is nothing else but a meer Chymaera, a notionall nothing; for if we say there is such a thing as danger before hand, it may be fear or misin­formation, yet possibly the danger may never touch us. If we consider it in the present tense, and really ef­fected, 'tis not danger, but Misery, and if we consider it in the preter tense 'tis past and gone. Now [...] all time is comprehended under these three terms, and this falls under none of them, it follows that this hath no time at all, which being inseperable to every ex­istence, as the measure of its duration, [Page 82] it will be evident, that danger is a meer Non-entity, and those that fear it, fear just nothing.

In the comparison of good and evil, we ever account those evills the least, which are the least lasting, and on the contrary, those goods the best which are the most constant and durable. Now for Dangers supposing that we should grant them to be evils, what more Courteous and slight evils could we wish for, than those that are come and gon in a moment. But dangers are so far from that, that they are com­monly sooner past than known, but the remembrance of them remains per­petually fresh, and bring every day new circumstances to claw the under­standing. Nay and such a faithfull good it is; that no Malice of For­tune can berave us of, but it stays with us in other miseries, whereas Friends Patrimony, Honour can quick­ly vanish, and as we can no more grasp them than a shadow, so we can no [Page 83] more recommand them, then call back Yesterday.

But supposing Danger, such a thing as ought possibly to be feared, since all wisemen agree with the Stoicks in this, that we ought not to be troubled for things which are not in our power, and we cannot help, and that the life of man is beset with such a many con­tingences, which may every minute either surprize or assault us, what a madness were it to anticipate our ine­vetable misery, and like one who threw away his Gold, for fear of losing it, yet since Death will at last conquer us, the madness of men hath not shewed it self any more in any thing, then in their fear of it. Some assossinating themselves for fear of assassination, and therein showing at once an act of the greatest Cowardize and cruelty (for every thing must love it self the best) that is possible. Others execute them­selves by lingring deaths, and tortures of their fears, and so make it a punish­ment [Page 84] greater then ever nature meant it. Whilst the gravest and most sober men put it only among the boons of Nature, and by their frequent com­posures, even at the very instant of their dissolution, confute the horror of it And if this great Bugbear of Mankind, when its Vizard is off, prove such a tame Foolery, I wonder what the Petty dangers must shrink into.

There is nothing among all the excellencies of Mankind, more shining than knowledge and Courage, and both these without dangers would be dull, heavy and unactive habits, what use were there for knowledge if we met not with the mazes and intricacies of life? And what more wise than a pre­sent ingenuity in avoiding dangers, or a vast conduct in preventing them, or a sly dexterity in weakning them. If there were no storms at Sea, what use were Pilots of, but talkative burdens: but upon the [...] outrage of a Storm, [Page 85] they are the only things, that are called upon, and worshipped.

For Courage it is only seen in danger and without them Hares and Lyons are of equall fortitude, great Souls that dare affront dangers are therein tried, and move at that time in their naturall motion, and to its own pro­per bounds, every thing hath an ap­petency, and therefore must necessa­rily delight in it. And can there be a greater pleasure to a man than for so small a triflle, as his own heart should inable him to conquer a Monster or a multitude.

Brave minds are like Gold purified by the fire of dangers, and exalted up to their due perfection. And if na­ture do so chearfully, even in her ve­getative things imbrace every advan­tage, may we not think that rationall Souls have these desires so much the more strong, by how much their na­tures are the more noble.

[Page 86] For the passive part of Fortitude, it is so far from being a Traytor to the happiness of man that it inebriates the mind in all calamities and makes them lushious nay restorative unto her. Now this without danger could not be; for jealousie ever attends on Misery, and there is none holds fast one link of it, but he may justly fear for to catch a­nother. What greater misery than Poetry, which threatens by flying from us, and is a negative Enemy? yet by induring of it, it becomes light. And since what is not burdensom to us, but light must needs please us, and that a man is never himself but when he ex­ercises his head or heart, which with­out dangers he could not do, it is evi­dent that we are beholding to them, as the spitefull Spurs and dear enter­tainments of the life of man. More­over man delights in nothing so much as in Fame, and how can he be more glorious than by shewing a sereni­ty, nay gladness amidst so many Ene­mies [Page 87] as dangers, are? Or what can be more delightful to him, than to see he is so much his own Master, that he can defie all casualties, and either carelesly contemn them or expect them with confidence. What more perni­cious to whole Armies, nay even in­sulting Conquerors, then security? What better means to frighten away securities than dangers? which needs must be of a Soveraign vertue, that are a means to preserve whole Armies, and of a most diffusive fruitful nature, that when they appear least they are greatest.

Besides rewards are proportioned to dangers; which shews (them of a worthy and deserving nature; and therefore many men have been called the Saviours of their Country, at one time for some little performances which if they had done at another time would hardly have been noted, and hence it is that many great Stratage­matick Wits have no better ways ei­ther [Page 88] for startling their Enemies, or retaining their Friends, than by increa­sing the shew of their dangers.

But if the shadow and meer repre­sentation of dangers, what is the sub­stance and dangers themselves; when a man's in safty few regard him many may envy him; but falling once into danger, tears, commiseration, relief, and that possible from his Enemies which is the sweetest of all come unto him.

Since we have manifested the rare use and necessities of dangers, it will not be hard for us, now to shew them of that gallant and cordiall nature, that they closely accompany the cast things and imediately flow from our most apparent happiness, from which they are not more seperable than heat from light.

And are not I pray the best things in greatest danger; Porcellan, and Venice glasses are the most apt to be broken, the Richest flowers are the [Page 89] soonest cropt, the best faces do the soonest decay, the best men are most liable to envy, the Richest to spoil, and indeed, what better in all the World, then that divine Stone of the Chymist; yet men in the atchieving of it, do commonly hazard both their brains and Estates, and in case they come near and end, it is a very good escape, if their Glasses be not melted or broken.

But indeed to consider the thing a­right, dangers are so incorporated and mingled with the best course of life, that like Hippocrite, Twins they both live and die together. What more fortunate than to be the favorite of the Prince, yet the Thrones of Princes themselves are not placed on Cubes, nor are those Cubes founded on Rocks, or Cemented with Brass, they may die by the cornel of a Grape, by an Hair, &c. and then where is the Favo­rite. Do's not he hold by a poor Tenure, that ha's no more assurance.

[Page] This brave young man undoubtedly had proceeded, but that he saw he was just upon landing. Charon (as well as the rest of the company was infinitely pleased with this Oration, who ha­ving rid his Boat of them directed them to those happy places, which were allotted to none but Martial­lists.

Seventh VISION.

BEing tired with my stay in these Infernall Regions, I fully resolved to make my progress to Elizium, but before I shape my course that way, give me leave to tell you there are severall sorts of Cells in this Bedlam of the [Page 91] damn'd for several sorts of Offenders; sor Atheists, for Swearers, and [...], for Murderers, for Adulterers, for Religious, Pipocrites, &c.

There was here a large Apartment for Huffs ( because their number was very great) who made the Earth quake where ever they came, with their roaring Broadsides of new Minted Oaths, upon every slight, or no oc­casion at all.

Next these were a parcel of Beauty-Hunters, who for profit, or pleasure, or both (like the Libertine in the Play) will have no mercy (in their damn'd heat of Blood) on the Female Sex, from thirteen to threescore, having follow'd this Trade so long till their Carkasses have become rotten by often washing and tallowing, patching and mending; that they hardly durst ven­ture the striding over a Kennel, fear­ing they should fall all to pieces in that bold and desperate attempt:

[Page 92] Casting my eyes of from these, I saw a number of spruce fine Foolls who (whilst on Earth) had more skill in fashions, than knowledge of good maners whose Wit and understanding did not lie in their Heads, but flaxen Wiggs; and their valour in the show­ing their Silver-Swords ( with as much Ribbon at the Hilt as would go near to trim a pair of Pantaloons, and this garniture they had rather show in the open streets, then the naked Blade pri­vately in the field, or publicly in the defence of their King and Country: instead thereof Oaths were their daily Prayers, acknowledging no other deity then a Miss, her Shrine the Stage, and a Comedy the samnity of all their Devotions: These were of the number of those dreadfull Male Butter-flies, which you must shun, least they fly in your face, or bribe their Bullies to do it for them, because they dare not do it themselves for want of Courage.

[Page 93] Here were a bundance of Shop­keepers and Tradesmen, either such who designedly broke to cheat their Creditors; or such whose Consciences were too wide to be measured by their own yard, for as the one is too large, the other is shorter than it should be; by which means they ran through the severall Offices of the Parish, from Skavengers to deceivers of the Poor, and so forward, living plentifully at home, and allowing their Wives the longing satisfaction of having a Country house, wherein she may enjoy the full liber­ty of entertaining some peculiar friend, without any reflection from an Hus­band.

Turning my head about I saw a thousands of such who were called by doting Poets, Earthly Goddesses, and yet poor worms liv'd on nothing but corruption; had they been composed of pure Metal, their often burning would have refined them.

[Page 94] With these were mixt a great many whose Age pleaded five times their Antiquity, at first fight one would have sworne they were Mother Shiptons own Sisters they were so like her Picture, only they herein differ'd, that she is reported to have a mon­strous long Nose, but most of these had none at all, and very few but what had lost an eye in the Battail. These Moths to Maiden-heads, and Murdresses of Chastity, such, who nastily feed, on what others sit upon: these Beldams with the younger fry cry'd out they were undone by fire, and therein spoke truth, for they were burnt out of the World with a Pox to them, and came hither (black Souls) like Char­coale lighted at one end.

I should tire the Reader and my self too, shou'd I give him a parti­cular account of all the remarkable things I saw there, wherefore I shall come to my last Observation, and that was upon a sort of People I knew not [Page 95] what to make of, they were a Mis­cellany of several Sects, and were broachers of dangerous opinions, when they were on the Earth; and although they differ'd in judgement about many things, yet they all agreed in this parti­cular.

Observing them to be a parcel of Mad-fellows, and the women as shame­less and as impudent as they, I inquired by what names they were known by and distinguished: one standing by, told me, that some were called Fifth Mo­narchy-Men, the rest Ranters, Familists and Adamites: Adamites said I? what Opinion are they of; the Ring-leader of this Faction over-hearing me ask this question, readily replied that they were such who indeavoured to prove that it was not only lawful, but necessa­ry for Mankind to go naked; and since said he, I was one of the first that did [Page 96] spread this opinion, when I trod the Stage of the World, I will obstinately maintain the same here in this place, where for us there is no hopes of Re­demption.

Having so said with a loud voice, he delivered this speech, by which you may guess that the Creatures of the Devil, cannot only Cant, but speak eloquently too, when they please: and thus he began.

Though we may justly [...] the displeasure of the Women, in assert­ing this Thesis of the Lawfulness of going naked, by divesting of them of all that the Taylour contributes, which is as much as to [...] them of the best part of themselves; yet I am sure, I shall have the [...], if not the fa­vour of most of Mankind; or at least the most noble and flourishing part of it, Youth, (did they hear me) which are the only Judges in this case.

As for those things which they call Old men, I except against them as a [Page 97] Generation of decrepit and [...] understandings: a People, whose minds could they be looked into, would prove infinitely more monstrous then their bodies; and such, as like Old Munkies, having either gnaw'd away, or lost their Tails, read Lectures to young Ones to eat theirs too. And now to speak only like an Angel of Light, I positively affirm, that what was done in the Primitive times, when our rea­son was not depraved with long tradi­tionall Customs, nor tinctured by any prevalescent humour, is most consonant to the Law of Nature, and consequent­ly ought most to be followed. The first Man and Woman were so far from being cloathed; that it was the great mark of their Liberty and Uprightness; and the first brand that stigmatized them after their transgression. Nor did the Ages that presently succeeded that, either grow up into a garb or fashion, but continued with a very little variation, and possibly what their [Page 98] Progenitors did only with Fig­leaves, they supplied with Kids-kin Aprons.

Yea, and those Nations who have not alienated their naked simplicity, either by commerce, or busy inven­tions, do as yet retain this open in­tegrity, and declines not into these unworthy Sophistications of Garments; as was observed in many of the Indians at the first discovery, who living meer­ly among themselves, and by their own peculiar Customs, it is to be sup­posed, most retained among them, of that which Nature desired to be kept pure and unvaried.

Not to say, that all men naturally desired to go uncovered, yet certain­ly, it is a shrewd suspition of it; for when the Sun begins to shine warm to cold Nothern Countries, the People know no better way to congratulate the presence of that fruitful Light, then by putting on thin or open cloaths, and frequent bathings: but since that [Page 99] Tyrant Custom, prohibits them abso­lute nakedness, they would approach it as near as they can.

Now in Women these desires, are far more intense; for they at all times uncover the part of their chiefest Beauty, as their Face, Neck, Ereasts and Hands, so that they do endeavour in part to break that restraint, which hides the rest of their glory, and to set forth their delicate Tresses, pleated and weaved with such variety, their Ivory Necks, their Harmonious Faces, their Milky Sphericall Breasts, and their melting Hands. And though possibly Jealousie may cause all these to be bad, yet 'tis but violation; and the wea­ther, and yet that is but Providence, or possibly Company, and that is but com­pliance; for what Woman is there (if not tainted with deformity) that could not wish that all her Garments were of Lawn, and transparent, rather then Rich and Gorgeous: for if (as it is the opinion of some) that Souls un­willingly [Page 100] depart out of fair Bodies, that must needs be a curious Mansion which so fine a substance is in love with, and then I pray can you blame the owner to delight in it: and what a torment is delight, if shut up in one breast, and not diffused into a lively communica­tion, for all kind of blessings multiply by their division, and what greater blessing; than a rare Symetry and con­texion of Feature, which can charm knowledge into admiration, and Ma­jesty into Love.

Mortal men give to Vertues the habits and visages of Women, and of all the Virtuous Truths among them ( not us) is lookt upon the best, for say they (Truth is lookt upon the Mo­ther of Justice, and Justice say they again) comprehends them all, yet she is naked, although she love the pub­lick, and hate corners, and is it not very fit, that all the Sex should imitate such an excellent pattern and Mistress.

[Page 101] It may be objected by the foolishly chast, and continent, that this would produce infinite provocations, and in­citements to the injoyments of the flesh; that I may remove all such scruples, from such Stomachs, I say not, (for though I speak) now against such Vices and Vanities that bring thou­sands into this Kingdom, viz. Painting the Face, light and loose Garments, Arti­ficiall Tours, Hexure and Fracture of Gate, with an hundred things more to hide deformity; I say these add more fewel to a lustfull breast, than if all went with no other Mantles then nature thrust them into the World with.

If men would consider it aright, there is nothing that doth so much puff up lust, as the circumstances of Rich apparrell, curious Dressings, Essences and strong [...], which serve up the apprehension, and fix the Imagi­nation upon something that is great. So that by this means by deligent search [Page 102] there might be found a vast number of great Persons, zealously courted to have their appetites satisfied; whereas if they were either left naked, or re­duced to a Vulgar garbe, they might lie fallow, or be Indcted for Witches. Now nakedness restores women to themselves; for what an irregular height do Venetian Chippins mount them to? What Towers do the Tur­kish Tires wear upon their womens heads? How are the Grecians buried in cloaths? How do the [...] of all Nations disguise them, that they must put on their Masquin habits, or be taken to pieces like Watches e're they can be enjoyed. And to what other end were they made? The Customs of Countries are different, and that garbe is Majestick in one place, which is ridiculous or sordid in another. All People have not the same conceptions of Beauty; which is as hateful to an Ethiopian, as black to us. But once uncloathed women [Page 103] and they were all the same, but the conceptions about the Harmony and measures of a body differ not. And what greater right can be done to women then to bring them to be judg­ed by one Rule. And since every woman judges her self the fairest, she that would be backward to this Arbi­triment, would be a diffident of her self, and consequently a Rennegade from her Sex. Now what better way of Judgement then those Rules, which the voices of all men conclude upon.

There have two great blemishes lain upon this Sex: the uncertainty and change of their judgements, and their inconstancy in their cloaths and carriage. And how can either be better removed, than if they were once reduced into such a posture, as they should all necessarily agree in, and they had not Liberty to change? And I pray what other way is there unless you make them all naked?

[Page 104] But then they may complain, take a­way their Arts and Ornaments, they shall want of their complacency and provoca­tions to either Husband or Gallants: to which I answer, that since it is fit to borrow the customs of others, as well as imitate those of our Ancestors the Danes and Britians, if they be use­full and fit to be assumed, there may be seen choice of dressings enough in the one, and other Indies.

In a word, since Sun, Moon, Stars, &c. appear as nature made them, since the strongest and most handsom Ani­malls are satisfied with their own na­turall vestures, and the most ugly and deformed repine not, since the most delicate and Aramatick flowers are not ashamed of their barks of Prickles which are commonly unsightly, if not offensive; in it is but an irregular and diseased desire in women, who are the Master-pieces of Nature, and of that sort of productions, wherein she is most vain-glorious and emulous to undo her [Page 105] self, to descend to those little poor adulterations of Art, which are so far beneath her, as the most exquisite arti­ficiall thing in the world, is below the most careless production of Nature.

As he was about to proceed, I slunk out of the crowd, fearing the pollution of my understanding, by the fulness of his Doctrine; and knowing the Devil to be a Logician, and a cunning Sophister, I knew not but that he might set on to work this dangerous disciple, of his to make me his Proselite; and up­on my return engaged me to be his Fa­ctor in spreading this erronious opini­on, to the utter undoing of Female modesty, and shame-facedness.

Eighth VISION.

WHilst I directed my course for Flizi­um, and the Ferriman was plying his Fairs for covetuousness of Money, the wandring Knight (aforesaid) having dispatcht with the Devil, and under­standing that he, upon whose business he was just at that time walking in the Elizian Gardens, he vainly thought to take that in his way; but the Infer­nall Laws barring him from entrance into those sacred places, he told Charon, that he was going on a Message for his Hellish Lord and Master, and there­fore demanded waftage over; which [Page 107] was done accordingly: and finding himself where he would be with as few words, as he was wont to carry pence in his purse, he instantly mounts one of the Devils Hacknies, and away he rides to follow his other worldly busi­ness; about which, whilst he is damna­bly sweating, take a survey with me of those [...] Fortunata, ordained to be the happy Countries for none but blessed Souls possession.

The walls that encompass these glo­rious habitations, are as white as the Front of Heaven, they shine like polisht Ivory, but the stuff is finer, high they are like the Pillars that support the Court of Jove, and stronger they are then Towers built by Enchantment: there is but one Gate to it all, and that of the most refined Silver: so narrow it is, that but one at once can enter round about; it wears a Girlde of Chri­stalline-waters that are sweet and re­dolent.

[Page 108] Walk into the Groves; besides the inexpressible harmony of the winged airy Quire, you shall see Swains piping, and Virgins chastly Dancing; Shep­heards there live as merrily as Kings, and Kings are glad to be in the society of such harmless rurall companions.

The [...] there complains of no wrong, the Orphan sheds no Tears; for [...] has there no residence, nor cruelty abode with the sway of greatness: the poor Client needs fee no Counsellour to [...] for him, for there is no Jury to bring in Verdicts true or false, or Judges unjustly to cast, or malitiously condemn, There is all mirth without immodesty, all [...], without base abufing it, Songs [...] continually without bawdry, all sorts of Wines without intemperance, all riches without Sensuallity; all Beauty with­out Painting, or other Sophistications; alls [...] without Hypocrisie, or [...].

Winter there Plays not the Tyrant, neither is the Summer breath contagious: [Page 109] for Spring is ever there perpetuall, adorn­ing the boughs with flourishing leaves, the Fruits continually growing, and the flowers ever budding. The Benches where­on the blest Inhabitants sit, are sweet Beds of Violets; the Beds whereon they lie, Damask-Roses; their Pillows for their Hearts, are Hearts-Ease, &c. Neither is this a Country free from all Travellers, but is the Kingdom, and very Pallace, where happiness her self keeps Court, and none are allow'd her followers and attendants, but such as are of merit.

Of all men in the world, griping o­ver-reaching Landlords, dare not quar­ter themselves here, because they are Rackers of Rents. A Pettifogger, or splitter of Causes (who hath taken a Fee on both sides, from the Plaintiff, and Defendant) will be damn'd [...] he come with in sight of this place: Some Shop-keepers come many yards short of it: Farmers, who raise their Corn in a dear time unreasonably, cannnot [Page 110] reach it by thousands of Acres: Some Seamen, for want of a true Compass that may guide them thither, steer a quite contrary course, and a Taylor shall never get thither unless he creep through the [...] of his own Needle: though true Poets, are free Denisons hereof; yet here is no Room for Pamphletteering Poetasters, Ballad­makers, and their chaunts, since by the insufferable noise of their Nonsense they must consequently be disturbers of the peace of that Kingdom. Wo­men (for all their subtilety) scarce one among five hundred hath her Pew there, especially old Midwives, Chamber­maids, and waiting Gentlewomen, their secret doings and contrivances are too well known to be let into these Lodg­ings. None can be free of these Li­berties, but such as have consciences without cracks; hands not spotted with uncleanness; feet not founder'd or worn out with walking to do mis­chief and injuries and Hearts that never [Page 111] were dig'd hollow by the Instruments of flattery and dissimulation.

There are many sorts of Men more that are absolutely [...] entrance, to tell you who they are, I shall not only take up too much time, but over­fret the Hearts and [...] of them that are so concerned; I shall therefore in­form you, who have free admission into these Teritories.

In the first place, young Infants, who dy'd at the Breast, and never suckt of the Sins of their Parents: these are most welcom thither for their Innocence.

Choristers if not drunken, debaucht sinfull Persons, but devout and holy Singers, whose Divine Anthems have bound Souls by their Charms, and whose lives are Tapers of Virgin-Wax set in Silver-Candlesticks to guide men out of Errors darknefs, they know their places there, and have them for their integrity.

Some Schollers are admitted into this Society, but the number of them, [Page 112] all is not so many as two Colledges can produce in the University of Ox­ford: and the Reason, is they either kindle Fire-brands (in the Sanctified places) by their contention, or kill the hearts of others by their cold­ness.

One field there is among all the rest, set round about with Willows, it is called the field of Mourning, and in this upon banks of flowers that wither a­way, even with the scorching sighs, of those that sit upon them; are a great number of amorous Malecontents (there quantity for several years of late has not been augmented for People now adays, are not so foolish and indiscreet) I say these look of the same complection, as the (much to be pittied) Mad-folks in Bedlam; and these forelorn Lovers like them desire to be alone; such as pined away to nothing, for nothing; such as for the Love of an inconstant wanton Weathercock, have gon drowned in Tears to their Graves, whilst she in the [Page 113] mean time went laughing into anothers bed, to think she had lost so kind and melting a Coxcomb as this her decea­sed Sweet-heart.

All the joy that these poor fools feed upon, is to sit singing lamentable Dities to some doleful Tunes; for though they have changed their old lives, they cannot forget their young Loves: they spend their time in making Mirtle Gar­lands, and shed so much water out of their eyes, that it hath made a pretty little River, which lies soaking con­tinually at the roots of the Willow­trees, there is another piece of ground wherein are encamped none but Soul­diers; and of those not all sorts of Soul­diers neither, but only such who dy'd nobly in the Wars: and yet of those but a certain number neither: that is to say, such that in Execution were never bloody: in their Countries re­venge, severe, but not cruel, such who held death in one hand, and mercy in the other; such who when drawn out upon [Page 114] some Forreign expedition by the order of his Prince, was more willing to go than stay; not like such, who made all means they could in gloriously to stay at home, than venture the honourable dying a broad for King and Country, Beyond all these places, is a Grove, which stands by it self like an Island; for a stream (that makes Musick in the running) clasps it round about Law­rels grew so thick round the banks thereof, that Lightning it self, if it came thither, could not pierce through them. It seems without a desolate, and unfrequented wood (for those within are retired into themselves) but from them came such harmonious sounds, the sweetness whereof cannot be suggested to the best Imagination.

There are none permitted to resort to this Heavenly Musick-Room, but the Children of Apollo (Poets, and Music all Composers) the one creates the song, and gives it life, or number the other lends it voice, & makes it speak Musick.

[Page 115] When these hapy spirits sit asunder, their bodies are like so many Stars; and when they joyn together in seve­ral Societies, they then shew like so many Heavenly Constellations. All the whole walk is full of pleasant Bowers and curious Arbours; and the dis­course that one Brother entertained a­nother with, was not in dull Prose; but like Evanders Mother they speak all in Verse, no Antick, eloquence is so sweet; nay their Language is so pleasing to the Gods, that they utter their Oracles in none other.

This place is not over-filled with Poets either Antient or Modern (for Poets are rare Production) though there in habit a great many, of most Nations, men of incomparable parts, whose Poetical flights have soared out of the sight of such, who fancied the Eye of their un­derstanding was as caute as the greatest pretender thereunto. I shall forbear to name the men of worth I saw there, if for no other reason that I am unwilling [Page 116] thereby to provoke the malice and en­vy of some, who undeservedly may (pretendedly) find faults in their Poems and severely censure their Persons, for no other reason than that they might impose upon the world, a belief that the ( frothy non-substantiall Moderlins) deserve as good a place there, as any of those Wity Worthies of their times.

Looking about me, I saw a jolly com­pany of Souls grown up to full perfecti­on, who had got under shades of a large Vine laughing to see M. S. (one whom I remembered I had not only seen, but had drank with him and A. B. an hun­dred times an Health to the confusion of Sorrow;) I say they laught heartily to see their Brother (who was but newly come to their Colledge) with the sharp and Satyricall Spirit, that still haunted and followed him from Earth hither; for he inveyed bitterly (as he had wont to do) against dry-fisted Patrons, accusing them of his untimely death, because if they had given his Muse that cherish­ment, [Page 117] which she most worthily deser­ved, he had fed to his dying day on Capons, and on what his Pallate most coveted or desired, and not on Ship-Bisket, or the Sheriffs-Basket; not be forced to walk in the fields with an emp­ty Stomach) when others resort thither to get one) there to contemplate the mi­series of a poor Poetick life, or study some well laid plot to Hocus his Land­lady into a further credence or belief; or to find out one, amongst the great number of his acquaintance (of whom he has not yet borrowed Money of) whom he may perswade to lend him some small matter to supply his present wants, in this his great extremity.

Setting aside (the others laughing,) one came indifferently serious, and [...] him what news in the other world; be­fore he could return an answer to the question, he was surrounded and hem'd in on all sides, seeing so great a conflux on a suddain, I got as near as I could to the crowd, and could hear him say [Page 118] somewhat to this purpose, Brethren, the reason why I made more than ordinary haste hither to secure my self a Room, for fear I should be disappointed should I have staid longer on [...]: for there the Age is grown so Vniversally [...] that if all the Professors of Poesy and Dramatiok Hero's must have a place here, I know not how it will contain them; nay the very Women are grown so [...], that they presume to prescribe Laws to the Stage.

Every one is a Wit, or would be so esteemed; and their whole endeavour is to [...] their own reputation out of anothers; thus it comes about that he that was cryed up yesterday for wri­ting a new Play, either by some of his Friends or Hirelings, was three days after as much decryed by such who had no other way to shuffle in a Play, or no Play, imposing on the Credulity of the Actors.

Sense, though insignificant words, [...] cloathed, will not pass current, mysticall Non-sense guilt over, instead [Page 119] of Gold with Lacker, this is that pre­tious Nothing so much in Fashion.

There is great struggling for the Bays, and those that see it [...] impossible for them to ingross it wholy to them­selves, will notwithstanding make a long arm, but they will reach a leaf thereof. As at an Hurling in Cornwel, there is commonly some mischief done: so some of these Witty Combatants or Contenders for this Prize, have recei­ved considerable dammages irrecove­rable: which made one of the most ingenious of the most known Wits write thus.

To be short, (said he) I did there find (notwitstanding their fine and fair [Page 120] pretences) that Barbarism was grown to be an Epidemicall Disease, and more common then the Gout (alias Pox) or Tooth-Ach.

Being demanded how Poets and Players agree one amongst the other, he replied, as Physitians and Patients do agree; for the Patient loves the Doctor no longer then till by his means he hath recovered his health; and the Player loves the Poet so long as the Sickness lies in the Pit, when none will come into it, hoping by some lucky hit of this man of Wit, that the House will be so cram'd, that they must be forced to raise the Rates double of the two Galleries, and thereby barracado out the Vulgar. None but the Favourites of the House (said he) can be admitted to have a Play Acted; and into so low a misery, if not contempt, is the sacred Art of Poesy fallen, that though the Author (who is worthy to sit at the Table of the Sun) work his brains to gain applause from the more Ingeni­ous, [Page 121] yet when he has done his best, he works but like Occus, that makes Ropes in Hell; for as he twists, an Ass stands by, and bites them in sunder, and that Ass is no other then the misunder­standing Audice, or that which is pre­possest with Prejudice.

And now (said he) having done with the Poets and Players, I shall (as briefly as I can) give you an account of what Remarks, and Observations I made (before I took my leave of the Terrestiall Globe) on the present Vices, Vanities, and fashionable Fopperies of the Town; the Infection whereof hath spread it self Universally.

And first, by way of Paradox, give me leave to prove by good circum­stances, that the honesty of the Age (wherein I lived) exceeded the For­mer and that the World was never honest till then, [...] so proceed to my Observations.

We read of a Golden Age in former times, but that was the meer Fictions [Page 122] of Poets; now some are of the opinion, that the Golden Age was never till now; since Gold and costly Presents compass all things: in opposition to these, some would have it the Iron Age, since fire and Sword of late has swal­lowed up such [...] (and one would think) inexhaustible Treasures. Now all that I can say for the honesty of this Age I spoke on, that the worst of im­pieties are now adays honest mens Pro­fessions: let their Practices be ever so bad, yet they would be accounted honest men.

There is a place called Alsatia where­in lies Quarter'd a Regiment of dange­rous Fellows, who shall Mortgage their Ears to any Knave for a little Money, nay their Souls too, rather then he should lose an Estate in which he hath neither Right nor Interest; and yet these Fellows do impudently claim the appellatio of honest men, al­though there are not — greater under Heaven.

[Page 123] Now are not the Employers every whit as bad as the foresworn Hirelings; nay worse by a great deal, and yet these must be called honest men, for no o­ther reason, but because they look big in the worlds Eye, and abounding with Money (according to which all things are valu'd, and is the equivolent price of all things) they imagine nothing to be above their reach, but being just and honest.

The world is but a great Market in which every thing is sold; as large con­sciences, fair Misses with foul Bodies, Wit, Vanity, Knavery, Mens lives, and their Reputations, and the welfare of their Families thrown in to boot.

The opulent are the Men who fix their thoughts wholly upon [...] their Estates, no matter by what means, and that which animates them, [...] the consideration of this indisputable point, That the Rich man is never out of esteem, and repute, though he is gene­rally known to be an [...] Knave, [Page 124] but most stand so much in fear of his power, that they dare not call him so to his face; and he knows withall, that he cannot loose his interest in a good name, but by the loss of his Fortune. Who then would be in love with in­digent Virtue? She may be admired by some, and followed by few, and here lies her unhapiness, that without wealth she seldom procures, and rarely main­tains her esteem in the World. Hence it is, that Rich men conclude they may bear themselves (justly) high, even to the expression of others, being already owners of what all men covet, all ad­mire, and without which, even they who villifie it, cannot subsist, or effect any great exploit.

And now I pray, how contemptible is Power if not regulated by Wisdom, for it disposes the Possessors thereof to greater follies, and extravagancies then others; and if they be but for a while left to their own wills, without any check or guidance, Vices take deeper [Page 125] root in them, like Weeds in good ground, and afterwards grow too prevalent to be extirpated.

What is it that man would not un­dergo, rather than subject himself to the Barbarous Pride and Capricious­ness of some Persons, who are of so odious and insupportable a nature, that it is not to be wondered, if even men of despicable fortune, and rank, chuse rather to suffer their present want and penury, then subject, and be concerned with them.

And now Brethren (said he) for their better information I writ a Satyr, to let them know, that they are Obnoxious to Laws, and that neither Revenues, nor Dignities exempt them from the Rules of Civility, and therefore ought not to set at nought such as they surpass in Estate, and to think, because they are not wealthy, therefore they are not men, and because some of the meaner sort are servants, therefore they must be consequently their Slaves. These [Page 126] I advised (if they purposed not to re­sign themselves wholly up to Pride, and Arrogance, and if they will not divest themselves of all Humanity, and relin­quish that Nature and Reason, which distinguish as much Man from Man, as from other Beasts; if they intend not to degenerate into bruitishness) to nourish Friendly Inclinations, and make an amicable temper of Spirit as much their nature as it is possible. In former Ages, he that was rich in Knowledge, and not as in these days in Lands and Houses, was accounted a Wise man; but alas now there is no man wise, but he that hath Wit enough to gather wealth. The honest and ingenious, if they chance to miscarry, and forced by necessity to desert their habitations, they are slighted, and derided by Rich men; and if pittied by any, it is no o­therwise then by saying, Alas, poor Man, he was no bodies Fo, but his own, which is an English Phrase for a Fool.

[Page 127] Was not that a strange Age I lived in, where Vice, went by the name of Virtue; Drunkness was called good Fellowship; Murder reputed Man­hood, and the Actor, a Man of un­daunted Courage, Petulancy and wan­ton Dalliance was termed Gallantry, and Gentile Courtship; Impudence passed for Audacity; Pride for Ge­nerosity; Avarice, for good Husbandry, Hypocricie, Nick-named, Sincerity; Adulation and Flattery bore the name of Complacency; and that which our Predecessors, called down-right Kna­very goes by the names of Wit and Policy.

In former Ages there were many inperfections attributed to Women, that are now accounted no defects at all, nor scandalls to a good name, viz. the bitterness of the Tongue the Pride of the Heart, the Shamelesness of the Face, immodest actions, impudent looks, lightness of Behaviour, looseness of life, nor some other remarkable Marks, or [Page 128] Symptoms of a [...] vicious Wo­man, which are lookt on as nothing, neither are these Imputations any blemish to Female reputation.

A womans honesty is pen'd up in a very little room, it is confined only from her Apron-strings down-ward; yet there is no imperfection in a wo­man but want of Chastity; and who is able to prove that; or who dares do it, if he could, if her Gallant be a I u­rioso, `Desperado, &c. and being zea­lous in the vindication of the wither'd Honour of his [...] sickle Mis­tress, nothing shall [...] turne to wash off the [...] stain of being called Where, but the hearts-blood of him, that spoke that fatall, [...].

Whither will you tend your steps? Which way will you turn your Eyes? Or to whom will you lend your list­ning Ears, but you shall meet Vice most splendid in the fashion. Walk into the Streets, and there you shall meet with droves of Lack-lands, yet [Page 219] by their Wits, or rather Shifts, who more fashionably fine than they, that you would take each of them to be Proteus, the God of Shapes, or some ther like Caelestiall power, then poor contemptible men, mean creeping crea­tures, whose over-indulgent Parents breeding them up to nothing, and feed­ing them continually without any pains taking of theirs, like a Pird in a Cage brought up there from the Nest, and never taught to provide for its self abroad, at length giving it its liberty it is only let out to starve abroad in the wide world; Thus these gawdy miscreants being never brought up to any civil ocupation, for an honest livelihood, as soon as ever they part from the warm spreading wing of their kindly foolish Mothers, are ready to starve, till the Devil ta­king notice of their wants and evil Inclinations, undertakes to be their Tutor, teaching them the Black Arts of Burglary, [...], Dicing, Drab­bing, Padding, &c. and when he has [Page] read to, and perfectly taught them the knowledge of these destructive (if not damnable) Sciences, some of his best and most forward Proficients he sends to a Colledge called Newgate, and (to raise them to an higher Pitch) from thence to Tiburn, the Tunces, and the lesser expert in these Hellish Exercises, are sent to be corrected for their negli­gence and want of better understand­ing, some to the Pillory, some to the [...]- [...], and others to People For­reign Plantations, and thus the Devil sooner or later [...] his [...] to his faithfull Servants, by [...] them after this manner.

Now should any honest man be so inconsiderate as to tax any of those, with any of [...] Villainies (though they know themselves to be guilty of every one of them,) the accusation to the Accuser, hath proved little less than loss of life, occasioned by the of­fenders, if they have escaped their own forfeited lives: when at liberty a­gain, [Page 131] to let the world know how guilt­lesly they are accused, and to possess [...] with an undeserved good opini­on of them, what ostentations did they make of their future hopes of their injoying (after such a Relations de­cease) a large and plentiful Estate, though they never saw their Father, and knew not to whom their Mother was re­lated; and ever had such little hopes that should attend them, whilst they lived in the world there, that they ne­ver had hopes of an Heaven thereafter.

In short, Vanity was never so pre­dominant, as when I lately left the Earth; Vice never so modishly [...], and is grown so impudent, as to walk up and down bare-faced at noon­day, and too frequently in publick, shows her very nakedness.

The world is become feeble, her spirits are spent, and her former vigour is vanisht, she is now twice a child, and begins to doat afresh, on what she sometimes scorn'd.

[Page 132] In former days men lent their whole endeavours to win honourable repura­tion by Virtue and Gallantry of Acti­ons: but now they are for wealth (no matter how gotten) Popular Applause, Ostentation, Luxury, and what not?

The old fashion was to do well; but now it is enough to speak well, to Drink, Eat well, Swear well, [...] well, [...] well, Damn well, [...] well, Game well, [...] well, [...] well, Run in debt well, and never pay well, Sing and Dance well, with a great many other Wells which are the shamefull Ills that now attend the Iron Age.

In former times men were accustom­ed to perform, but now enough [...] pro­mise, and are as good as their words but in a different nature, for the Pay­ment which they make is not to their Creditors, but thus; [...] for an Habeas Corpus to the Kings [...] or [...]; or duce to [...], the other disbursements are for [...], Prison [...], plenty of Wine, good Cheer, frequent Rubbers at [Page 133] Bowls for Guinies; and all this and much more at the charge of their poor sink­ing Creditors.

The Monuments of goodness are so weather-beaten, that Iniquity hath left almost no Character there of undefaced. And now adays, that man is lookt up­on by some as the most refined piece of humane nature, who is both Witty, and wicked; and where the Wit is [...] by friendship or affection, the weapons of Reason are many times wrested, and sometimes managed a­gainst Reason it self: He would have poceeded much further I imagin'd, (for he was a man of a nimble ready Inven­tion, voluble Tongue, and long wind­ed,) but that he was interrupted by the lowd laughter of the jolly (and ingeni­ous) crew who were then his Auditors, wondring to here their Brother Poet turned Parson; the noise whereof (which I imagined) did suddenly a­wake me.