PARADOXES.

PROBLEMS.

The Character of a Scot at the first sight.

AT his first ap­pearing in the Charterhouse, an Olive colou­red Velvet suit owned him, which since became mous-colour, A pair of unskour'd stockings­gules, One indifferent shooe, his band of Edenburgh, and cuffs of London, both strangers to his shirt, a white feather in a hat that had bin sod, one onely cloak for the rain, which yet he made serve him for all weathers: A Barren­half-acre of Face, amidst where­of an eminent Nose advanced [Page 66] himself, like the new Mount at Wansted, over-looking his Beard, and all the wilde Countrey there­abouts; He was tended enough, but not well; for they were cer­tain dumb creeping Followers, yet they made way for their Ma­ster, the Laird.—At the first pre­sentment his Breeches were his Sumpter, and his Packets, Trunks, Cloak-bags, Portmanteau's and all; He then grew a Knight­wright, and there is extant of his ware at 100l. 150l. and 200l. price. Immediately after this, he shifteth his suit, so did his Whore, and to a Bear-baiting they went, whither I followed them not, but Tom. Thorney did.

The True Chara­cter of a Dunce.

HE hath a Soule drownd in a lump of Flesh, or is a piece of Earth that Prometheus put not half his proportion of Fire into, a thing that hath neither edge of desire, nor feeling of affection in it, The most dangerous creature for confirming an Atheist, who would straight swear, his soul were nothing but the bare tem­perature of his body: He sleeps as he goes, and his thoughts sel­dom reach an inch further then his eyes; The most part of the faculties of his soul lye Fallow, or are like the restive Jades that no spur can drive forwards to­wards [Page 86] the pursuite of any worthy design; one of the most unprofita­ble of all Gods creatures, being as he is, a thing put clean besides his right use, made fitt for the cart & the flail, and by mischance Entan­gled amongst books and papers, a man cannot tel possible what he is now good for, save to move up and down and fill room, or to serv as Animatum Instrumentum for others to work withal in base Im­ployments, or to be a foyl for bet­ter witts, or to serve (as They say monsters do) to set out the variety of nature, and Ornament of the Universe, He is meer nothing of himself, neither eates, nor drinkes, nor goes, nor spits but by imita­tion, for al which, he hath set forms & fashions, which he never varies, but sticks to, with the like plod­ding constancy that a milhors fol­lows his trace, both the muses and the graces are his hard Mistrisses, though he daily Invocate them, though he sacrifize Hecatombs, they stil look a squint, you shall note him oft (besides his dull eye [Page 69] and louting head, and a certain clammie benum'd pace) by a fair displai'd beard, a Nightcap and a gown, whose very wrincles pro­claim him the true genius of for­mality, but of al others, his discours and compositions best speak him, both of them are much of one stuf & fashion, he speaks just what his books or last company said unto him without varying one whit & very seldom understands himself, you may know by his discourse where he was last, for what he read or heard yesterday he now dis­chargeth his memory or notebook of, not his understanding, for it ne­ver came there; what he hath he flings abroad at al adventurs with­out accomodating it to time, place persons or occasions, he commonly loseth himself in his tale, and flut­ters up and down windles without recovery, and whatsoever next pre­sents it self, his heavie conceit sei­zeth upon and goeth along with, however Heterogeneal to his mat­ter in hand, his jests are either old flead proverbs, or lean-starv'd- [Page 70] Apophthegm's, or poor verball quips outworn by Servingmen, Tapsters and Milkmaids, even laid aside by Bassaders, He as­sents to all men that bring any shadow of reason, and you may make him when he speaks most Dogmatically, even with one breath, to averr pure contra­dictions, His Compositions differ only terminorum positione from Dreams, Nothing but rude heaps of Immaterial-inchoherent dros­sie-rubbish-stuffe, promiscuous­ly thrust up together, enough to Infuse dullness and Barrenness of Conceit into him that is so Prodigall of his eares as to give the hearing, enough to make a mans memory Ake with suffering such dirtie stuffe cast into it, as unwellcome to any true conceit, as Sluttish Morsells or Wallo­wish Potions to a Nice-Stomack which whiles he empties himselfe of, it sticks in his Teeth nor can he be Delivered without Sweate and Sighes, and Humms, and Coughs enough to shake his [Page 71] Grandams teeth out of her head; Heel spitt, and scratch, and yawn, and stamp, and turn like sick men from one elbow to another, and Deserve as much pitty during this torture as men in Fits of Ter­tian Feavors or selfe lashing Peni­tentiaries; in a word, Rip him quite asunder, and examin every shred of him, you shall finde him to be just nothing, but the sub­ject of Nothing, the object of contempt, yet such as he is you must take him, for there is no hope he should ever become bet­ter.

An Essay of Valour.

I Am of opinion that nothing is so potent either to procure or merit Love, as Va­lour, and I am glad I am so, for thereby I shall do my self much ease, because Valour never needs much wit to maintain it: To speak of it in it self, It is a quality which he that hath, shall have least need of, so the best League between Princes is a mutual fear of each other, it teacheth a man to value his reputation as his life, and chiefly to hold the Lye un­sufferable, though being alone, he finds no hurt it doth him, It leaves it self to others censures, for he that brags of his own va­lour, disswades others from be­lieving [Page 73] it, It feareth a word no more then an Ague, It always makes good the Owner, for though he be generally held a fool, he shall seldom hear so much by word of mouth, and that en­largeth him more than any spe­ctacles, for it maketh a little fel­low be called a tall man, it yeilds the wall to none but a woman, whose weakness is her preroga­tive, or a man seconded with a woman as an usher, which al­ways goes before his betters, It makes a man become the witness of his own words, and stand to whatever he hath said, and think­eth it a reproach to commit his reviling unto the Law, it furnish­eth youth with action, and age with discourse, and both by fu­tures, for a man must ever boast himself in the present tense, and to come nearer home, nothing drawes a woman like to it; for Valour towards men, is an Em­blem of an ability towards wo­men, a good quality signifies a better. Nothing is more behoof­full [Page 74] for that Sex; for from it they receive protection, and we free from the danger of it: No­thing makes a shorter cut for ob­taining, for a man of Arms is al­ways void of Ceremony, which is the wall that stands between Pyramus and Thisbe, that is, Man and Woman, for there is no pride in women but that which re­bounds from our own basenesse (as Cowards grow Valiant upon those that are more Cowards) so that only by our pale asking, we teach them to deny, and by our shamefac'dness, we put them in minde to be modest, whereas indeed it is cunning Rhetorick to perswade the hearers that they are that already which he would have them to be; This kinde of bashfulness is far from men of Valour, and especially from soul­diers, for such are ever men (without doubt) forward and confident, losing no time least they should lose oportunity, which is the best Factor for a Lo­ver, and because they know wo­men [Page 75] are given to dissemble, they will never believe them when they deny, Whilome before this age of wit, and wearing black, were broke in upon us, there was no way known to win a Lady but by Tylting, Turnying, and riding through Forrests, in which time these slender striplings with little legs were held but of strength e­nough to marry their widows, and even in our days there can be given no reason of the Inunda­tion of Servingmen upon their Mistresses, but (only) that usu­ally they carry their Masters Weapons, and his Valour; To be accounted handsome, just, learned, or well favoured, all this carries no danger with it, but it is to be admitted to the Ti­tle of Valiant Acts, at least the adventuring of his mortality, and al women take delight to hold him safe in their arms who hath 'scapt thither through many dangers: To speak at once, Man hath a priviledge in Valour; In clothes and good faces we but imitate [Page 76] women, and many of that Sex will not think much (as far as an answer goes) to dissemble wit too. So then these neat youths, these women in mens apparel are too near a woman to be beloved of her, They be both of a Trade, but be grim of aspect, and such a one a Glass dares take, and she will desire him for neatness and varie­tie; A skar in a mans face is the same that a mole in a womans; a Jewel set in white to make it seem more white, for a skar in a man is a mark of honour and no blemish, for 'tis a skar and a ble­mish too in a Souldier to be with out one: Now as for al things else which are to procure Love, as a good face, wit, good clothes, or a good body, each of them I con­fess may work somewhat for want of a better, That is, if Valour be not their Rivall; A good face a­vails nothing if it be in a coward that is bashfull, the utmost of it is to be kiss'd, which rather en­creaseth then quencheth appetite; He that sends her gifts sends her [Page 77] world also, that he is a man of small gifts otherwise, for wooing by signes and tokens implies the Author dumb; and if Ovid who writ the Law of Love, were alive (as he is extant) would allow it as good a diversity, that gifts should be sent as gratuities, not as bribes; Wit getteth rather promise then Love, Wit is not to be seen, and no woman takes advice of any in her loving, but of her own eyes, and her wai­ting womans; Nay which is worse, Wit is not to be felt, and so no good fellow; Wit apply'd to a woman makes her dissolve (or disclose) her simpering, and discover her teeth with laughter, and this is surely a purge for love; for the beginning of love is a kind of foolish melancholy, as for the man that makes his Taylor his Bawd, and hopes to inveagle his Love with such a coloured suit, surely the same deeply hazards the loss of her favour upon every change of his clothes; So like­wise for the other, that Courts [Page 78] her silently with a good body, let me certifie him that his clothes depend upon the comelynesse of the body, and so both upon opi­nion; she that hath been sedu­ced by Apparel, let me give her to wit, that men always put off their clothes before they go to bed: and let her that hath been ena­mour'd of her servants body, un­derstand, that if she saw him in a skin of cloth, that is, in a suit made to the pattern of his body, she would see slender cause to love him ever after; there are no clothes sit so well in a womans eye, as a suit of Steel, though not of the fashion, and no man so soon sur­priseth a womans affections, as he that is the subject of all whisper­ings, and hath always twenty stories of his own deeds depen­ding upon him; Mistake me not, I understand not by valour one that never fights but when he is back'd with drink or anger, or hiss'd on with beholders, nor one that is desperate, nor one that takes away a Servingmans wea­pons [Page 79] when perchance it cost him his quarters wages, nor yet one that wears a privy Coat of de­fence and therein is confident, for then such as made Bucklers, would be accounted the Cata­lines of this Commonwealth—I intend one of an even Resolu­tion grounded upon reason, which is always even, having his power restrained by the Law of not doing wrong. But now I remember I am for Valour and therefore I must be a man of few words.

A sheaf of Miscellany EPIGRAMS.

To the two tutelar Angels, Protectors of the Popes Consistory, and of the Colledg OF SORBON.

MOst noble couple of Angels, lest it should be said that you did ne­ver agree, and never meet, but that you did ever ab­horre one another, and ever

I attempted to bring and joyne you together once in these papers not that I might compose your differences, for you have not cho­son me for Arbi [...]or; but, that you might beware of an enemy [Page 108] common to you both, I will re­late what I saw. I was in an Ex­tasie, and

had liberty to wander through all places, and to survey and reck­on all the roomes, and all the vo­lumes of the heavens, and to com­prehend the situation, the dimen­sions, the nature, the people & the policie, both of the swimming I­lands, the Planets, and of all those which are fixed in the Firmament. Of which, I think it an honester part as yet to be silent, then to doe Galilaeo wrong by speaking of it, who of late hath summoned Nuncius [...]ydereus. the other worlds, the Stars to come neerer to him, and give him an account of themselves, Or to Keppler, who (as himselfe testifies of himselfe) ever since Tycho Bra­ches death, hath received it into De stella [...] Cygno. his care, that no new thing should be done in heaven without his know­ledge. For by the law, Preventi­on must take place; and there­fore what they have found and [Page 109] discovered first, I am content they speake and utter first. Yet this they may vouchsafe to take from me, that they shall hardly find Enoch, or Elias any where in their circuit. When I had sur­veied all the heavens, then as

In the twinckling of an eye, I saw all the roomes in Hell open to my sight. And by the benefit of certain spectacles, I know not of what making, but I thinke, of the same, by which Gregory the great and Beda did discerne so distinctly the soules of their friends, when they were discharged from their [Page 110] bodies and sometimes the soules of such men as they knew not by sight, and of some that were ne­ver in the world, and yet they could distinguish them flying in­to Heaven, or conversing with li­ving men. I saw all the channels in the bowels of the Earth; and all the inhabitants of all nations, and of all ages were suddenly made familiar to mee. I thinke truly, Robert Aquinas when he Paleotus de Sin­done cap. 6. took Christ's long Oration, as he hung upon the Crosse, did use some such Instrument as this, but applyed to the eare: And so I Iosephina di Gieron Gratian. thinke did he, which dedicated to Adrian 6. that Sermon which Christ made in praise of his Fa­ther Ioseph: for else how did they heare that, which none but they ever heard? As for the Suburbs of Hel (I mean both Limbo and Purgatory) I must confess I pas­sed them over so negligently, that I saw them not: and I was hun­gerly carried, to finde new places, never discovered before. For Pur­gatory did not seem worthy to [Page 111] me of much diligence, because it may seem already to have been beleeved by some persons, in some corners of the Roman Church for about 50 yeares; that is ever since the Councell of Trent had a minde to fulfill the prophecies of Homer, Virgil, and the other Pa­triarks of the Papists, and being not satisfied with making one Transubstantiation, purposed to bring in another: which is, to change Fables into Articles of Faith. Proceeding therefore to more inward places, I saw a secret place, where there were not ma­ny, beside Lucifer himselfe; to which, onely they had title, which had so attempted any innovation in this life, that they gave an af­front to all Antiquity, and indu­ced doubts, and anxieties, and scruples, and after a libertie of be­leeving what they would, at length established opinions, di­rectly contrary to all established before. Of which place in Hell, Theod: Ni em: nemus unio, Tra. 6. cap. 29. Lucifer afforded us hertofore some little knowledge, when more [Page 112] then 200. yeares since, in an E­pistle written to the Cardinall S. Sexti, he promised him a roome in his palace, in the remotest part of his eternall Chaos, which I take to be this place. And here Pope Boniface 3. and Mahomet, seemed to contend about the highest room. He gloried of having ex­pelled an old Religion, and Ma­homet of having brought in a new; each of them a great deluge to the world. But it is to be feared, that Mahomet will fail therein, both because he attributed some­thing to the old Testament, and because he used Sergius as his fel­low-Bishop, in making the Alco­ran; whereas it was evident to the supreme Judge Lucifer, (for how could he be ignorant of that which himselfe had put into the Popes minde?) that Boniface had not only neglected, but destroyed the policy of the State of Israel, established in the old Testament, when he prepared Popes a way, to tread upon the necks of Princes, but that he also abstained from al [Page 113] Example and Coadjutor, when he took upon him that new name, which Gregory himselfe (a Pope neither very foolish, nor overmo­dest) ever abhord. Besides that every day affords new Advocates to Boniface his side. For since the Franciscans were almost worne out (of whom their General Fran­cis, Sedulius Apolog. pro libro Con form. l. 2. cap. 2. had seen 6000, Souldiers in one army, that is, in one Chap­ter) which, because they were then but fresh Souldiers, he saw assisted with 18000 Devils; the Iesuits have much recompenced those decaies and damages, who sometimes have maintained in Harlay defence des Iesu­ites. their Tents, 200000 Schollers. For though the Order of Bene­dict have ever been so fruitful, that they say of it, That all the new Or­ders, Vollader: deCanoni­za Fran cis Ro. in Epist. which in latter times have broken out, are but little springs, or drops, and that Order the Ocean, which hath sent out 52 Popes, 200 Cardinals, 1600 Archbi­shops, 4000 Bishops, and 5000 Saints, approved by the Church, and therefore it cannot be denied, [Page 114] but that Boniface his part is much relieved by that Order; yet if they be compared to the Iesuits, or to the weak and unperfect types of them, the Franciscans, it is no great matter that they have done. Though therefore they esteem Mahomet worthy of the name of an Innovator, and there­in perchance not much inferior to Boniface, yet since his time, to ours, almost all which have fol­lowed his S [...]t, have lived barren in an [...] and idle con­cord, and cannot boast that they have produced any new matter: whereas Boniface his Successors awakened by him, have ever been fruitfull in bringing forth new sinnes, and new pardons, and Idolatries, and King-killings. Though therefore it may religi­ously, and piously be beleeved, that Turks as well as Papists, come daily in Troops to the or­dinary and common places of Hell; yet certainly to this more honorable room reserved for especiall Innovators, the Papists [Page 115] have more frequent accesse; and therefore Mahomet is out of hope to prevail, and must imitate the Christian Emperours, and bee content to sit (as yet he doth) at the Popes feet. Now to this place not onely such endeavour to come, as have Innovated in mat­ters directly concerning the soul, but they also which have done so, either in the Arts, or in conversa­tion, or in any thing which exer­ciseth the faculties of the Soule, and may so provoke to quarrel­some and brawling controversies, for so the truth be lost, it is no no matter how. But the gates are seldome opened, nor scarce oft­ [...] then once in an age. But my destiny favored me so much, that I was present then, and saw all the pretenders, and all that affected an entrance, and Lucifer himself, who then came out into the out­ward chamber, to heare them plead their own Causes. As soon as the door creekt, I spied a cer­tain Mathematician, which till then had been busted to finde, to [Page 116] deride, to detrude Ptolomey; and now with an erect countenance, and setled pace, came to the gates, and with hands and feet, (scarce respecting Lucifer him­selfe) beat the doors and cried; Are these shut against me, to whom all the Heavens were ever open, who was a Soul to the Earth, and gave it motion?

By this I knew it was Coperni­cus: For though I had never heard ill of his life, and therefore might wonder to find him there; yet when I remembred that the Papists have extended the name and punishment of Heresie, al­most to every thing, and that as yet I used Gregories and Bedes Bellar. de Purgat. lib. 2. c. 8. spectacles, by which one saw Ori­gen, who deserved so well of the Christian Church, burning in hell, I doubted no longer, but assured my selfe that it was Copernicus which I saw, to whom Lucifer said, Who are you? For though even by this boldness you seem worthy to enter, and have attempted a new faction even in Hell, yet you must [Page 117] first satisfie those which stand about you, and which expect the same fortune as you doe. Except, O Lu­cifer, answered Copernicus, I thought thee of the Race of the Starre Lucifer, with which I am so well acquainted, I should not vouchsafe thee this discourse. I am he, which pitying thee who wert thrust into the center of the world, raised both thee and thy prison, the Earth, up into the Heavens; so as by my means, God doth not enjoy his revenge upon thee. The Sunne, which was an officious Spy, and a betrayer of faults and so thy ene­my, I have appointed to goe into the lowest part of the world. Shall these Gates open to such as have Innovated in small matters, and shall they be shut against me, who have turned the whole frame of the world, and am thereby almost a new Creator. More then this he spoke not. Lucifer stuck in a me­ditation. For what should he doe? It seemed unjust to deny entry to him which had deserved so well, and dangerous to grant [Page 118] it to one of so great ambitions, and undertakings: Nor did he think that himself had attempted greater matters before his fall. Somthing he had which he might have conveniently opposed, but he was loath to utter it, lest he should confesse his fear. But Ig­natius Loyola which was got neer his chaire, a subtile fellow, and so indued with the Devill, that he was able to tempt, and not onely that, but (as they say) even to possesse the Devill, ap­prehended this perplexity in Lu­cifer. And making himselfe sure of his own entrance, and know­ing well, that many thousands of his family aspired to that place, he opposeth himself against all o­thers. He was content they should be damned, but not that they should govern. And though when he died he was utterly ignorant in all great learning, and knew not so much as Ptolomeys or Co­pernicus name, but might have been perswaded that the words Almagest, Zenith, and Nadir, [Page 119] were Saints names, and fit to be put into the Letanie, and Ora pro nobis joyned to them; yet after he had spent some time in hell, he had learnt somewhat of his Ie­suits, which daily came thither. And whilst he staied at the thre­shold of Hell, that is, from the time when he delivered himselfe over to the Popes will, he took a little tast of learning. Thus fur­nisht, thus he undertakes Coper­nicus. ‘Doe you think to win our Lucifer to your part, by al­lowing him the honour of be­ing of the Race of that Starre? who was not onely made before all the Stars, but being glutted with the glory of shining there, transferred his dwelling and Co­lonies unto this Monarchy, and thereby gave our Order a noble example, to spy, to invade, and to possesse foraign King­doms. Can our Lucifer or his followers have any honour from that Star Lucifer, which is but Ve [...]us? Whose face how much we scorn, appears by this, that [Page 120] for the most part we use her aversly and preposterously. Ra­ther let our Lucifer glory in Lu­cifer the Calaritan Bishop; not therefore because he is placed amongst Heretiques, onely for affirming the propagation of August de Haer. c. 81 the soule; but especially for this, that he was the first that opposed the dignity of Princes, and imprinted the names of Antichrist, Iudas, and other stigmatique marks upon the Emperour; But for you, what new thing have you invented, by which our Lucifer gets any thing? What cares he whether the earth travel, or stand still? Hath your raising up of the earth into heaven, brought men to that confidence, that they build new towres or threaten God again? Or do they out of this motion of the earth con­clude, that there is no hell, or deny the punishment of sin? Do not men believe? do they not live just as they did before? Besides, this detracts from the [Page 121] dignity of your learning, and derogates from your right and title of coming to this place, that those opinions of yours, may very well be true. If therefore any man have honour or title to this place in this matter, it belongs wholly to our Clavins, who opposed himself opportunely against you, and the truth, which at that time was creeping into every mans minde. He only can be called the Author of all contentions, and School-com­bates in this cause; and no grea­ter profit can be hoped for here in, but that for such brables, more necessary matters be neg­lected. And yet not only for this is our Clavius to be hono­red, but for the great pains al­so which he took in the Grego­rian Calender, by which both the peace of the Church, and civil businesses have been egre­giously troubled: nor hath hea­ven it self escaped his violence, but hath ever since obeyed his [Page 122] appointments: so that S. Ste­ven, Iohn Baptist, and all the Harlay. defence dis Iesu­ites mes­di. 6. rest, which have been comman­ded to work miracles at certain appointed days, where their re­liques are preserved, do not now attend till the day come, as they were accustomed, but are a­waked ten days sooner, and constrained by him to come down from heaven to do that business. But your inventions can scarce be called yours, since before you, Heraclides, Ecphan­tus, and Aristarchus thrust them into the world: who notwithstanding content them­selves with lower roomes a­mongst the other Philosophers, and aspire not to this place, re­served only for Antichristian Heroes: neither do you agree so well amongst your selves, as that you can be said to have made a Sect, since, as you have perverted and changed the or­der and Scheme of others: so Tycho Brachy hath done by yours, and others by his. Let [Page 123] therefore this little Mathemati­cian (dread Emperour) with­draw himself to his own com pany. And if hereafter the Fathers of our Order can draw a Cathedrall Decree from the Pope, by which it may be de­fined as a matter of Faith, That the earth doth not move; and an Anathema inflicted upon all which hold the contrary: then perchance both the Pope which shall decree that, and Coperni­cus his followers (if they be Pa­pists) may have the dignity of this place.’ Lucifer signified his assent: and Copernicus without muttering a word, was as quiet as he thinks the Sunne: when he which stood next him, entred into his place. To whom Lucifer said: And who are you? He answered, ‘Philippus Aure­olus Theophrastus Paracelsus Bombast of Hohenheim.’ At this Lucifer trembled, as if it were a new Exorcîsme, and he thought it might well be the first verse of S. Iohn, which is always imploy­ed [Page 124] in Exorcismes, and might now be taken out of the Welch or I­rish Bibles. But when he under­stood that it was but the web of his name, he recollected himself, and raising himself upright, asked was he had to say to the great Emperour Sathan, Lucifer, Bel­zebub, Leviathan, Abaddon. Pa­racelsus replyed, ‘It were an inju­ry to thee, O glorious Emperor, if I should deliver before thee what I have done, as though all those things had not proceeded from thee, which seemed to have bin done by me, thy organ and conduit; yet since I shal rather be thy trumpet herein then mine own, some things may be utter­ed by me. Besides therefore that I brought all Methodicall Physicians and the Art it self into so much contempt, that that kinde of Physick is almost lost; this also was ever my prin­cipal purpose, that no certain new Art, nor fixed rules might be established, but that all re­medies might be dangerously [Page 125] drawn from my uncertain, rag­ged, and unperfect experiments, in tryal whereof how many men have been made carkases? And falling upon those times which did abound with paradox­icall and unusual diseases, of all which, the pox, which then began to rage, was almost the center and sink: I ever profes­sed an assured and an easie cure thereof, lest I should deterr any from their licentiousness. And whereas almost all poysons are so disposed and conditioned by nature, that they offend some of the senses, and so are easily di­scerned and avoided, I brought it to pass, that that treacherous quality of theirs might be re­moved and so they might safely be given without suspicion, and yet perform their office as strongly. All this I must con­fess I wrought by thy minerals and by thy fires, but yet I can­not despair of my reward, be­cause I was thy first minister and instrument in these innova­tions.’ [Page 126] By this time Ignatius had observed a tempest risen in Lucifers countenance: for he was just of the same temper as Lucifer, and therefore suffered with him in every thing, and felt all his alterations. That there­fore he might deliver him from Paracelsus, he said; ‘You must not think sir, that you may here draw out an Oration to the proportion of your name. It must be confessed that you at­tempted great matters, and well becoming a great officer of Lu­cifer, when you undertook not only to make a man in your A­limbecks, but also to preserve him immortal. And it can­not be doubted, but that out of your Commentaries upon the Scriptures, in which you were utterly ignorant, many men have taken occasion of erring, and thereby this kingdom much indebted to you. But must you therefore have access to this se­cret place? What have you compassed even in Physick it [Page 127] self, of which we Iesuits are ig­norant? For though our Ri­badenegra have reckoned none of our Order, which hath writ­ten in [...]ysick, yet how able and sufficient wee are in that faculty, I will be tryed by that Pope who hath given a privi­ledge Bulla 18 in Gre [...] cont. [...] a [...] o­vius de Majest. E [...]s. milic. c. 7 to Iesuits to practise Phy­sick and to be present at Deaths­bed, (a) which is denyed to o­ther Orders: for why should he deny us their bodies, whose souls he delivered to us? and since he hath transferd upon us the power to practise Physick, he may justly be thought to have transferd upon us the art it self by the same Omnipotent Bull; since he which grants the end, is by our Rules of Law presumed to have granted all means necessary to that end. Let me (dread Emperour) have leave to speak truth before thee; These men abuse and profane too much thy mettals, which are the bowels and treasure of thy Kingdom: For what doth [Page 128] Physick profit thee? Physick is a soft and womanish thing. For since no medicine doth na­turally Mosnes. Theor. 1 cap. 2. draw blood, that sci­ence is not fit nor worthy of our study. Besides, why should those things which belong to you, be imployed to preserve from diseases, or to procure long life? were it not fitter that your Brother and Colleague, the Bishop of Rome, which go­verns upon the face of your earth, and gives daily increase to your Kingdom, should re­ceive from you these helps and subsidies? To him belongs all the gold, to him all the precious stones, conceald in your intrals, wherby he might bait & ensnare the Princes of the earth, through their Lords and Councellours means, to his obedience, and to receive his commandments, e­specially in these times, when almost every where his antient rights and tributes are denyed unto him. To him belongs your Iron, and the ignobler [Page 129] mettals, to make engines; To him belongs your Minerals apt for poyson; To him the Salt­peter, and all the Elements of Gun-powder, by which he may demolish and overthrow Kings and Kingdoms, and Courts, and seats of Justice. Neither doth Paracelsus truly deserve the name of an Innovator, whose doctrin Severi [...]us and his other followers do referr to the most ancient times. Think therefore your self well satisfied, if you be admitted to govern in chief that Legion of Homicid Phy­sicians, and of Princes which shall be made away by poyson in the midst of their sins, and of women tempting by pain­tings and face-Physick. Of all which sorts great numbers will daily come hither out of your Academy.’

Content with this sentence, Paracelsus departed; and Machi­avel succeeded, who having ob­served Ignatius his forwardness, and sauciness, and how, uncald, [Page 130] he had thrust himself into the of­fice of Kings-Attorney, thought this stupid patience of Coperni­cus and Paracelsus, (men which tasted too much of their Germa­ny) unfit for a Florentine: and therefore had provided some ve­nemous darts, out of his Italian Arsenal, to cast against this worn souldier of Pampelune, this French-Spanish mungrell, Ig­natius. But when he thought better upon it, and observed that Lucifer ever approved whatsoe­ver Ignatius said, he suddenly changed his purpose; and put­ting on another resolution, he determined to direct his speech to Ignatius, as to the principall person next to Lucifer, as well by this means to sweeten and mol­lifie him, as to make Lucifer su­spect, that by these honours and specious titles offered to Ignatius and entertained by him, his own dignity might be eclipsed or clou­ded; and that Ignatius by win­ning to his side politique men, exercised in civil businesses, might [Page 131] attempt some innovation in that Kingdom. Thus therefore he began to speak. ‘Dread Empe­ror, and you, his watchfull and diligent Genius, father Ignatius, Arch-Chancellor of this Court, and highest Priest of this high­est Synagogue (except the pri­macy of the Roman Church reach also unto this place) let me before I descend to myself, a little consider, speak, and ad­mire your stupendious wisdom, and the Government of this state. You may vouchsafe to remember great Emperor) how long after the Nazarens death, you were forced to live a solita­ry, a barren, and an Eremiticall life, till at last, as it was ever your fashion to imitate Heaven) out of your aboundant love, you begot this dearly beloved son of yours, Ignatius, which stands at your right hand. And from both of you proceeds a spirit, whom you have sent into the world, who triumphing both with Mitre and Crown, governs [Page 132] your Militant Church there. As for those sons of Ignatius, whom either he left alive, or were born after his death, and your spirit, the Bishop of Rome, how justly and properly may they be cal­led equivocall men? And not only equivocall in that sense, in which the Popes Legates, at your Nicene Councel were cal­led Equivocal, because they did agree in all their opinions, and in all their words: but especially because they have brought into the world a new art of Equivo­cation. O wonderfull and in­credible Hypercritiques, who not out of marble fragments, but out of the secretest Records of Hell it self, that is, out of the minds of Lucifer, the Pope and Ignatius, (persons truely equi­vocall) have raised to life again the language of the Tower of Babel so long concealed, and brought us again from under­standing one another. For my part (O noble pair of Emperors) that I may freely confess the [Page 133] truth, all which I have done, wheresoever there shall be men­tion made of the Jesuits, can be reputed but childish, for this honour I hope will not be de­nied me, that I brought in an Alphabet, and provided cer­tain elements, and was some kind of Schoolmaster in pre­paring them a way to higher undertakings; yet it grieves me and makes me ashamed that I should be ranked with this idle and Chymaericall Copernicus, or this cadaverous vulture, Pa­racelsus. I scorn that those gates into which such men could conceive any hope of entrance, should not voluntarily flye open to me: yet I can better endure the rashness and fellowship of Paracelsus then the other: be­cause he having been conveni­ently practised in the butcheries and mangling of men, he had the reason to hope for favour of the Jesuits: For I my self went always that way of blood, and therefore I did ever prefer the [Page 134] sacrifices of the Gentiles and of the Iews, which were perfor med with effusion of bloud (whereby not only the people but the Priests also were ani­mated to bold enterprises) be­fore the soft and wanton sacri­fices of Christians. If I might have had my choice, I should rather have wished that the Ro­man Church had taken the Bread than the Wine from the people, since in the wine there is some colour to imagin and represent blood. Neither did you (most reverend Bishop of this diocess Ignatius) abhor from this way of blood. For having conse­crated your first age to the wars, and grown, somewhat unable to follow that course by reason of a wound; you did present­ly begin to think seriously of a spiritual war against the Church and found means to open waies even into Kings chambers, for your executioners. Which dig­nity you did not reserve only to your own Order, but (though [Page 135] I must confes, that the founda­tion, and the nourishment of this doctrine remains with you, and is peculiar to you, out of your infinite liberalitie,) you have vouchsafed sometime, to use the hands of other men in these im­ployments. And therefore as well they, who have so often in vain attempted it in England, as they which have brought their great purposes to effect in France, are indebted only to you for their courage and reso­lution. But yet although the en­trance into this place may be de­creed to none, but to Innova­tors, and to only such of them as have dealt in Christian busi­nesse, and of them also, to those only which have had the fortune to doe much harme; I cannot see but that next to the Iesuits, I must be invited to enter, since I did not only teach those wayes by which, thorough perfidious­nesse and dissembling of Religion, a man might possesse and usurpe upon the liberty of free Common­wealths; [Page 136] but also did arme and furnish the people with my in­structions, how when they were under this oppression, they might safeliest conspire, and remove a tyrant, or revenge themselves of their Prince and redeem their former losses; so that from both sides, both from Prince and peo­ple, I brought an abundant har­vest, and a noble encrease to this kingdome.’ By this time I perceived Lucifer to be much mo­ved with this Oration, and to in­cline much towards Machiavel; For he did acknowledge him to be a kind of Patriarke, of those whom they call Laymen. And he had long observed, that the Clergie of Rome tumbled down to Hell daily, easily, voluntarily, and by troupes, because they were ac­customed to sinn against their conscience, and knowledge; but that the Laitie sinning out of a sloathfulnesse, and negligence of finding the truth, did rather of­fend by ignorance and omission. And therefore he thought himself [Page 137] bound to reward Machiavel, which had awakened this drowsie and implicite Laitie to greater, and more bloudie Vndertakings. Besides this, since Ignatius could not be denied the place, whose ambitions and turbulencies Luci­fer understood very well, he thought Machiavel a fit and ne­cessarie Instrument to oppose a­gainst him; that so the skales be­ing kept even by their factions, he might govern in peace, and two poysons mingled might doe no harme. But he could not hide this intention from Ignatius, more subtil than the Devil and the verier Lucifer of the two: Therefore Ignatius rushed out, threw himselfe down at Lucifers feet, and groveling on the ground adored him. Yet certainly, Vas­ques would not call this idolatry, because in the shape of the Devill he worshipped him, whom he ac­counted the true God. Here Ig­natius cryed, and thundred out,

And when he was able to speake distinctly, thus he spoke;

[Page 176] Truly I thought this Oration of Ignatius very long: and I be­gan to think of my body which I had so long abandoned, lest it should putrifie, or grow mouldy, or be buried; yet I was loath to leave the Stage till I saw the Play ended. And I was in hope that if any such thing should befall my body, the Jesuits, who work Mi­racles so familiarly, and whose re­putation I was so carefull of in this matter, would take compas­sion upon me, and restore me a­gain. But as I had sometimes ob­served,

So I saw Machiavel often put forward, and often thrust back, and at last vanish. And looking earnestly upon Lucifers counte­nance, I perceived him to be affected towards Ignatius, as Princes, who though they envy and grudge that their great Offi­cers should have such immode­rate means to get wealth; yet they dare not complain of it, lest thereby they should make them odious and contemptible to the people: so that Lucifer now suf­fered a new Hell: that is, the dan­ger of a Popular Devill, vain­glorious, and inclined to Innova­tions there. Therefore he deter­mined to withdraw himselfe into his inward chamber and to admit none but Ignatius: for he could not exclude him who had deser­ved so well; neither did he think it safe to stay without, and give him more occasions to amplifie his own worth, and undervalue all: them there in publick, and [Page 178] before so many vulgar Devils. But as he rose, a whole Army of souls besieged him. And all which had invented any new thing, even in the smallest matters, thronged about him; and importuned an admission. Even those which had but invented new attire for wo­men and those whom Pancirollo hath recorded in his Commenta­ries De rebus [...]uper in­ventis. for invention of Porcellan Dishes, of Spectacles, of Quintans, of Stirrups, and of Cavi [...]ri, thrust themselves into the troop. And of those which pretended that they had squared the Circle, the number was infinite. But Ig­natius scattered all this cloud quickly by commanding, by chi­ding, by deriding, by force and violence. Amongst the rest, I was sorry to see him use Peter A­retine so ill as he did: For though Ignatius told him true when he boasted of his licentious pictures, that because he was not much learned, he had left out many things of that kind, with which the ancient Histories and Poems [Page 179] abound: and that therefore A­reti [...] had not onely not added any new invention, but had also, taken away all courage and spu [...] from youth, which would rashly trust and nely upon his dillgence, and seek no further, and so lose that [...] on [...] preti [...] [...] suoe of [...]quity. He [...]ed moreove [...], that though [...], and others of his Order, did use to gold P [...]ts and other [...] and here I could not [...]huse but wonder, why they have not gel­ [...]ed their [...] Ed [...]on, which in some places hath such obse [...]e Harlay defence des Ie­suit. fol. 12. words as the Hebrew [...]gne, which is therfore also called [...], doth so much ahhor, that [...] [...] things can be [...]ed in it, info [...]uch [...] (as one of them very sub [...]y notes) the [...] of Venus is very seldome called [...]hy that name in [...] for how could [...] wood being not in [...] yet (said h [...]) [...] men doe not g [...]ld them to that p [...]r­pose that the memory thereof should he abolished: but that [Page 180] when themselves had first tried whether Tyberius his Spintria, and Martialis Symphlegma, and others of that kinde, were not rather Chymera's, and speculati­ons of luxuriant wits, then things certain and constant, and such as might b [...]educed to an Art and method in licentiousnesse, (for Jesuits never content themselves with the Theory in any thing, but straight proceed to practice) they might after communicate them to their own Disciples and Novi­tiates: for this Church is fruitful in producing Sacraments and be­ing now loaded with divine sacra­ments, it produces Morall Sacra­ments. In which, as in the Di­vine, it binds the Laity to one Species; but they reserve to themselves the divers forms, and the secrets and mysteries in this matter, which they finde in the Authors whom they geld. Of which kinde I think they give a little glimmering and intimation, when in the life of their last made Coddesse, Francisc [...] Romane, they [Page 181] say, That the Bed where she lay Valla-der fol. 24. with her Hisband, was a perpetual Martyrdome to her, and a shop of miracles. But for all this, since Aretine was one, who by a long custome of libellous and contu­melious speaking against Princes, had got such a habit, that at last he came to diminish and dis­esteem God himselfe. I wonder truly, that this Arch-Iesuite, though he would not admit him to any eminent place in his Tri­umphant Church, should deny him an office of lower estimati­on: For truly to my thinking he might have been fit, either to serve Ignatius, as Master of his pleasures, or Lucifer as his Cry­er: for whatsoever Lucifer durst think, this man durst speak. But Ignatius, who thought himselfe sufficient for all uses, thrust him away, and when he offered up­ward, offered his staffe at him: Nor did he use Christopher Co­lumbus with any better respect; who having found all ways in the earth and sea open to him, did [Page 182] not fear any difficulty in Hell, but when he offered to enter Ig­natius staid him, and said, ‘You must remember sir, that if this kingdom have got any thing by the discovery of the West Indies, Matalius Metellus, praefat. in Osorium. all that must be attributed to our Order: for if the opinion of the Dom [...]eans had prevailed, That the Inhabitants should be reduced only by preaching and without violence, certainly their 200000 of men would scarce in so many ages have been brought to 150 which by our means was so soon performed. And if the Law made by Ferdinando only against Canibals; That all which would not be Christians should be bond slaves, had not been exten­ded into other Provinees, we should have lacked men to dig us out that benefit which their Countreys afford. Except we when we took away their old Idolatry, had recompenced them with a new one of o [...], except we had obtruded to those ignorant and barbarous people, [Page 183] sometimes natural things, some­times artificial, and counterfeit in stead of miracles, and except we had been alwaies ready to convey and to apply this Medi­cine made of this precious A­merican dung unto the Princes of Europe, and their Lord, and Councellours, the profit by the only discovery of these places (which must of necessity be re­ferred to fortune) would have been very [...]le; yet I praise your perseverance and your pa­tience which (since that seems to be your principal vertue) you shall have good occasion to exercise here, when you remain in a lower and remote [...] place, then you think belongs to your merits.’ But although Lucifer being put into a heat and almost smothered with this troop and deluge of pretenders, seemed to have admitted Ignatius as his Lieatenant, or Legat [...]ere, and trusted him with an absolute power of doing what he would, yet he quickly spied his own er­ror [Page 184] and danger thereby. He be­gan to remember how forcibly they use to urge the Canon Alius; by which the King of France is said to have been deposed, not for his wickedness, but for his Paris de puteo, de syndicat. de excess. regn. infirmity and unfitness to govern: and that Kings do forfeit their dignity if they give themselves to other matters, and leave the go­vernment of the State to their Officers. Therefore Lucifer thought it time for him to enter into the business, lest at last Ig­natius should prescribe therein; by which title of prescription he well knew, how much the Church of Rome doth advance and defend itself against other Princes. And though he seemed very thankfull to Ignatius for his delivery from this importunate company, yet when he perceived that his pur­pose was to keep al others out, he thought the case needed greater confideration; For though he had a considence in his own Patriarks Sophro­nius cap. 45. Con­se [...]uerat. which had long before possest that place, and in whose compa­ny [Page 185] (as an Abbot said to the De­vil, who after long intermission, now tempted him) he was grown old, and doubted not but that they would defend their right, and oppose themselvs against any innovation which Ignatius should practise, yet if none but he in a whole age should be brought in, he was afraid that this singulari­ty would both increase his cou­rage and spirit, and their reve­rence and respect towards him. Casting therefore his eyes into e­very corner, at last a great way off he spied Philip Nerius: who acknowledging in his own parti­cular no especial merit towards this kingdom, forbore to press nearer the gate, but Lucifer called to his remembrance, that Nerius and all that Order, of which he was the Author, which is called Congregatio Oratorii, were erected, advanced, and dig­nified by the Pope, principally to this end, that by their incessant Sermons to the people, of the lives of Saints, and other Ecclesi­astick [Page 186] Antiquities, they might get a new reputation, and so the torrent, and general superstition towards the Iesuits might grow a little remisser, and Iuke-warm, for at that time the Pope him­self began to be afraid of the Je­suits, for they begun to publish their Paradox of Confession and absolution to be given by letters, and Messengers, and by that means to draw the secrets of all Princes only to themselves; And they had tryed and sollicited a great Monarch who hath many designes upon Italy against the Pope and delivered to that Prince divers Articles, for the reforming of him. Now the Pope and Lu­cifer love ever to follow one ano­thers example: And therefore that which the one had done in the middle world, the other at­tempted in the lower. Hereup­on he called for Philip, Nerius, and gave him many evidenoes of a good inclination towards him. But Nerius was too stupid to in­terpret them aright. Yet Igna­tius [Page 187] spied them, and before Luci­fer should declare himself any further, or proceed too farr here­in, lest after he were farengaged, there should be no way to avert or withdraw him from his own propositions (for he saw there must be respect had of his honor and constancy) he thought it fit­test to oppose now at the begin­ning. He said therefore, that ‘he now perceived that Lucifer had not been altogether so much conversant with Philip, as with the [...]esuirs, since he knew not how much Philip had ever professed himself an enemy to him Vita Nerii-fol. 107. For he did not only deny all visions and apparitions, Fol. 108. and commanded one to spit in Maries face when she appear­ed again, because he thought it was the Devil; Fol. 212. And drove away another that came to tempt a sick man, in the shape of a Physitian; Fol. 229. and was hardly drawn to believe any pos­sessings; but Fol. 19. when three Devils did meet him in the way, [Page 188] to afright him, he neither thought them worthy of any Exorcismes, nor so much as the signe of the Cross, but meerly went by them, as though he scorn'd to look at them, and so despighted them with that neg­ligence. It may be that he hath drawn others into Religion, but himself remained then in the Laity; in so much as I remem­ber, that Fol. 26. I used to call him The Saints bell, that hangs with­out, and calls others into the Church. Fol. 313. Neither do they which follow this Order, bind themselves with any vow or oath; Neither do I know any thing for which this Fol. 163. king­dom is beholding to him, but that [...] moved Baronius to write his Annals.’

To all this Nerius said no­thing, as though it had been spo­ken of some body else. Without doubt, either he never knew, or had forgot that he had done those things which they write of him. But Lucifer himself took [Page 189] the boldness (having with some difficulty got Ignatius leave) to take Nerius his part: and pro­ceeded so far, that he adventured to say, ‘That Baronius, Bozius and others, which proceeded out of the Hive of Nerius, had used a more free, open, and hard fashion against Princes, and better provided for the Popes direct jurisdiction upon all kingdoms, and more stoutly de­fended it than they, which un­dertaking the cause more trem­blingly then becomes the Ma­jestie of so great a business, ad­hered to Bellarmines sect, and devised such crooked ways, and such perplexed intanglings, as by reason of the various and uncertain circumstances, were of no use: And that whatsoe­ver Nerius his Schollers had performed, must be attributed to him, as the fruit to the root.’ Ignatius perceiving that Lucifer undertook all offices for Nerius, and became Judge, Advocate, and Witness, pursuing his former [Page 190] resolution, determined to inter­rupt him lest when he had inlar­ged himself in Nerius commen­dation, he should thereby be bound to a reward. He there­fore cryed out, ‘What hath Nerius done? what hath he or his followers put in execution? have they not ever been only exercised in speculations, and in preparatory doctrins? Are these books which are written of the Jurisdiction of the Pope, to a­ny better use than Physicians Lectures of Diseases, and of Medicines? whilst these Receits lie hid in Physicians books and no body goes to the Patient; no body applyes the Medicines to the Disease. What good, what profit comes by all this? what part, what member of this lan­guishing body have they un­dertaken? In what Kingdome have they corrected these hu­mours which offend the Pope, either by their Incision or cau­terising? what state have they cut up into an Anatomy? what [Page 191] Sceliton on have they provided for the instruction of posterity? Do they hope to cure their diseases by talking and preaching as it were with charms and enchantments? If Nerius shall be thought worthy of this honour, and this place, because out of his Schol­lers writings something may be gleaned, which may be applyed to this purpose, why should we not have Bez [...] and Caloin, and the rest of that sort here in hell, since in their books there may be some things found which may be rested to this purpose? But since their scope was not to extirpate Monarchies, since they published no such Canons and Aphorismes as might be applyed to all ca [...]es, and so brought into certain use and consequence, but limited theirs to circumstances which sel­dome fall out, since they deli­vered nothing dangerous to Princes, but where in their opinion, the Soveraigntie resides in the People, or in cer­tain [Page 192] Ephory, since they never said, that this power to violate the person of a Prince, might ei­ther be taken by any private man, or committed to him, and that therefore none of their Dis­ciples hath ever boasted of hav­ing done any thing upon the person of his Soveraigne: we see that this place hath ever been shut against them: there have bin some few of them (though I can scarce afford those men the honour to number them with Knox and Goodman, and Bucha­nan) which following our ex­amples, have troubled the peace of some States, and been injuri­ous to some Princes, and have been admitted to some place in this Kingdome; but since they have performed nothing with their hands nor can excuse themselves by saying, they were not able: (for wherein was Clement, or Ravillac more a­ble than they, or what is not he able to do in the middes­of an Army, who despiseth [Page 193] his own life? they scarce e­ver aspire, or offer at this se­cret and sacred Chamber. Lu­cifer had a purpose to have re­plied to this: That perchance all their hands which had bin imbrued in the bowells of Prin­ces were not so immediatly ar­med by the Iesuites, as that they were ever present at all consul­tations and resolutions: (and yet he meant to say this, not as sworn witnesse, but as Lucifer himselfe, and the father of lies, in which capacitie he might say any thing.) But that it was e­nough that Confessors doe so possesse them with that doctrine that it is not now proposed to them as Physick, but as naturall food, and ordinary diet; and that therfore for the perfor­mance of these things, a Iesuites person is no more requisite, then that the heart of a man, because it sends forth spirits into every limbe, should therefore be pre­sent in every limbe: that when Brisson d [...] formul. l. 1. it was in use for the Consuls of [Page 194] Rome for the the safety of their Country and army, to devote themselves over to the infernall God, it was lawfull for them­selves to abstain and forbear the Act, and they might appoint any Souldier for that Sacrifice: and that so the Iesuits for the per­formance of their resolutions, might stir up any amongst the people: (for now they enjoy all the priviledges of the Fran­ciscans, who say; That the name Reinsulk Manual. Francis­can cap. 9. of People, comprehends all which are not of their Order;) And that if this be granted, Nerius his Schollers are inferiour to none; with whose bookes (if all the Iesuits should perish) the Church might content her selfe, and never fear dearth nor leane­nesse.’ This Lucifer would have spoken; but he thought it bet­ter and easier to forbeare: for he observed, that Ignatius had given a sign, and that all his troupes which were many, subtile, and bu­sie, set up their bristles, g [...]mbled, and compacted themselves into [Page 195] one body, gathered, produced, and urged all their evidence, whatsoever they had done, or suf­fered. There the English Legion, which was called Capestrata, which Campian led, and (as I thinke) Garnet concluded, was fiercer than all the the rest. And as though there had been such a second Martirdome to have been suffered, or as though they might have put off their Immortallity, they offered themselves to any imployment. Therefore Luci­fer gave Nerius a secret warning to withdraw himself, and spoke no more of him; and despairing of bringing in an other, began earnestly to thinke, how he might leave Ignatius out. This there­fore he said to him: ‘I am sorry my Ignatius, that I can neither find in others, deserts worthy of this place, nor any room in this place worthy of your deserts. If I might die, I see there would be no long strife for a Successor: For if you have not yet done that act which I did at first in [Page 196] Heaven, and thereby got this Empire, this may excuse you, that no man hath been able to tell you what it was: For if any of the Ancients say true when they call it Pride, or Licentious­nesse, or Lying; or if it be in any of the Casuists, which professe the Art of sinning, you cannot be accused of having omitted it. But since I may neither forsake this kingdome, nor divide it, this only remedy is left: I will write to the Bishop of Rome, he shall call Galilaeo the Florentine to him, who by this time bath throughly instructed himselfe of all the Hills, Woods, and Cities in the new world, the Moone. And since he effected so much with his first Glasses, that he saw the Moon in so neer a dis­tance, that he gave himselfe sa­tisfaction of all, and the least parts in her, when now being Nuncius Sydereus. grown to more perfection in his Art, he shall have made new Glasses and they received a hal­lowing from the Pope, he may [Page 197] draw the Moon, like a Boat floa­ting upon the water, as neer the Earth as he will. And thither (because they ever claim that those imployments of discove­ry belong to them) shall all the Iesuits be transferred, and easily unite and reconcile the Lunatick Church to the Roman Church: without doubt, after the Iesu­ites have been there a little while, there will soon grow na­turally a Hell in that world also: over which, you Ignatius shall have dominion, and establish your kingdom and dwelling there. And with the same ease as you passe from the earth to the Moon, you may passe from the Moon to the other stars, which are also thought to be worlds, and so you may beget and propagate many Hels, and enlarge your Empire, and come neerer unto that high seate, which I left at first.’ Ignatius had not the patience to stay till Lucifer had made an end; but as soon as he saw him pause, and [Page 198] take breath, and look, first upon his face, to observe what changes were there, and after to cast his eye to another place in Hell, where a great noyse was suddenly raysed: he apprehended this in­termission, and as though Luci­fer had ended, he said: ‘That of Lucifers affection to the Roman Church, and to their Order, e­very day produced new Testimo­nies: and that this last was to be accounted as one of the grea­test. That he knew well with how great devotion the Bishop of Rome did ever embrace and execute all councels proceding from him: And that therefore he hoped, that he would reserve that imployment for the Iesuits and that Empire for him their founder: and that he beleeved the Pope had thought of this be­fore; and at that time when he put Parsons the English Iesuite in hope of a Cardinalship, he had certainely a reference to this place, and to this Church: That it would fall out shortly, that [Page 199] all the dammages, which the Roman Church hath lately suffe­red upon the earth, shall be re­compenced only there. And that now this refuge was opened if she should be reduced into greater streights, or if she should be utterly exterminated, the world would not much lament and mourne for it. And for the entertainment of the Ie­suites there, there can be no doubt made at this time, when, (although their pro­fession be to enter whether Princes will or no) all the Prin­ces of the World will not only graciously afford them leave to go, but willingly and cheerful­ly accompany them with Cer­tificates, and Demissory letters. nor would they much resist it, if the Pope himself would vouchsafe to go with them, and so fulfill in some small measure, that Prophecie of his Ger­son, De Auferibilitate Papae. Besides this, a woman governs there; of which sex they have [Page 200] ever made their profit, which have attempted any Innovation in religion; with how much diligence were the two Empres­ses, Pulcheria and Eudoxia, so­licited by the Pope for the esta­blishing of Easter? how ear­nestly did both Pelagius and the Pope strive by their letters to draw the Empress to their side? For since Iulia had that honour given to her in publique coyns, that she was called the Mother of the Armie, the Mother of the Gods, and of the Senate, and the Mother of her Countrey: Why may not Women instructed by us, be called Mothers of the Church? Why may not we relye upon the Wit of Women, when once, the Church deliver­ed over her self to a Woman-Bishop? and since we are re­puted so fortunate in obtaining the favour of Women, that Women are forbid to come into e Rog. Ie­suit. f [...]l. 73. lbid. fol. 47. our houses; and we are forbid, to take the charge of any Nunns; since we have had so good ex­perience [Page 201] of their favour [...] in all the Indies, or at least have thought it fit, that they which have the charge to write our anniversarie letters from thence should make that boast, and add something to the truth, both be­cause the ancient Heretiques held that course in insinuating their opinions, and because they which are acquainted with our practices, will think any thing credible, which is written of us in that behalf, why should we doubt of our fortune in this Queen, which is so much sub­ject to alterations and passions? she languishes often in the ab­sence of the Sun, and often in Eclipses falls into swounds, and is at the point of death. In these advantages we must play our parts, and put our devices in practise: for at these times any thing may be drawn from her. Nor must we forbear to try what verses and incantations may work upon her: For in those things which the Poets writ [Page 202] though they themselves did not believe them, we have since found many truths, and many deep mysteries: nor can I call to minde any woman which ei­ther deceived our hope, or esca­ped our cunning, but Elizabeth of England; who might the ra­ther be pardoned that, because she had put off all affections of women. The principal dignity of which sex (which is to be a mother) what reason had she to wish or affect, since without those womanish titles, unwor­thy of her, of wife and mother, such an heir was otherwise pro­vided for her, as was not fit to be kept any longer from the in­heritance. But when I, who hate them, speak thus much in the honour of these two Princes, I finde my self carried with the same fury as those beasts were, which our men say, did some­time adore the Host in the Mass. For it is against my will, that I pay thus much to the Manes of Elizabeth; from scorning of [Page 203] which word Manes, when the King of great Britain writ it, I would our Parsons had forborn, since one of our own Jesuits useth the same word, when re­prehending our adversaries, he saies, That they do insult upon Heissius ad Aphor Iesuit. fol. 135. Garnets Manes. And yet this Elizabeth was not free from all Innovation; For the ancient Religion was so much worn out, that to reduce that to the for­mer dignity, and so to renew it, was a kinde of Innovation: and by this way of Innovating she satisfied the infirmity of her sex, if she suffered any: for a little Innovation might serve her, who was but a little, a woman. Nei­ther dare I say that this was pro­perly an Innovation, lest there­by I should confess, that Luther and many others which live in banishment in Heaven far from us, might have a title to this place, as such Innovators. But we cannot doubt, but that this lunatick Queen will be more in­clinable to our Innovations: for [Page 204] our Clavius hath been long fa­miliarly conversant with her: what she hath done from the beginning, what she will do hereafter, how she behaves her self toward her neighbour king­doms, the rest of the stars, and all the planetary, and firmamen­tary worlds, with whom she is in league and amity, and with whom at difference, he is per­fectly instructed, so he have his Ephemerides about him. But Clavius is too great a personage to be bestowed upon this luna­tick Queen, either as her Coun­celler, or (which were more to our profit) as her Confessor. So great a man must not be cast a­way upon so small a matter. Nor have we any other besides, whom upon any occasion we may send to the Sun, or to the other worlds, beyond the world. Therefore we must reserve Cla­vius for greater uses. Our Herbestus, or Busaus, or Voellus (and these be all which have given any proof of their know­ledg [Page 205] in Mathematicks although they be but tastless, and chil­dish, may serve to observe her aspects and motions, and to make Catechismes fit for this lu­natick Church: for though Gar­net had Clavius for his Master, yet he profited little in the Arts, Eudaem. Ioan. A­pol. pro Garn [...]. c. 5. but being filled with Bellar­mines Dictates, (who was also his Master) his minde was all upon Politicks. When we are established there, this will add much to our dignity, that in our letters which we send down to the earth (except perchance the whole Roman Church come up to us into the Moon) we may write of what miracles we list: which we offered to do out of the Indies, and with good suc­cess, till one of our Order, in Acosta d [...] procur. Ind. Salu l. 2, c. 9. simplicitie, and ingenuity, fitter for a Christian, then a Jesuite, acknowledged and lamented that there were no wiracles done there. Truly it had been better for us to have spit all those five Brothers, Aco­stas, [Page 206] out of our Order, then that a­ny one of them should have vo­mited this reproach against us. It is of such men as these in our Order, that our Gretzer sayes, There is no body without his Ex­crements, De studi­is Iesuit. abstrus. c. 5. because though they speak truth, yet they speak it too rawly. But as for this contem­plation, and the establishing of that government, (though it be a pleasant consideration) we may neither pamper our selves longer with it now, nor de­tain you longer therein. Let your Greatness write, let the Pope execute your counsell, let the Moon approach when you 2 think fit. In the mean time let me use this Chamber as a resting place. For though Pope Grego­rie Bellar. de Purg. l. 2. c. 8. were strucken by the Angell with a perpetuall pain in his sto­mack and feet, because he com­pelled God by his prayers to deliver Trajan out of Hell, and transferre him to Heaven, and therefore God, by the mouth of Gregorie took an assurance for [Page 207] all his Successors, that they should never dare to request the like again: yet when the Pope shall call me back from hence, he can be in no danger, both be­cause in this contract God can­not bee presumed to have thought of me, since I never thought of him, and so the contract therein voyd; and be­cause the condition is not bro­ken, if I be not removed into Heaven, but transferred from an earthly Hell to a Lunatique Hell. More then this he could not be heard to speak: For that noyse, of which I spoke before, increased exceedingly, and when Lucifer asked the cause, it was told him, That there was a soule newly arrived in Hell, which said, that the Pope was at last in­treated to make Ignatius a Saint, and that he hastened his Cano­nization, as thinking it an un­just thing, that when all Artifi­cers and prophane Butchers had particular Saints to invocate, onely these spirituall Butchers, [Page 208] and King-killers, should have none.’ For when the Jesuit Cot­ton in those questions which by vertue of his invisible priviledge he had provided for a possest per­son, amongst others, dangerous both to England and France, had inserted this question: What shall I doe for Ignatius his canonizing? and found at last, that Philip King of Spain, and Henry King of France, contended by their Am­bassadors at Rome, which of them should have the honour of obtai­ning his canonizing (for both pretending to be King of Na­varre, both pretended that this right and honour belonged to him; and so both deluded the Je­suits:) For D Alcala a Fran­ciscan, and Penafort a Iacobite, Pierre Mathier i. l. 1. Nar. 4 were by Philips means canonized, and the Jesuite left out. At last he despaired of having any assi­stance from these Princes; nor did he think it convenient that a Jesuit should be so much behol­ding Litera ejus ad Philip. 3. to a King▪ since Baronius was already come to that height [Page 209] and constancy, that being accused of som wrongs done to his King, he did not vouchsafe to write in his own excuse to the King, till the Conclave which was then held, was fully ended, lest (as himselfe gives the reason) if he had then been chosen Pope, it should be thought he had been beholden to the King therein. For these reasons therfore they labour the Pope themselves. They confess, that if they might chuse, they had rather he should restore them into all which they had lost in France and Venice, then that Ignatius should be sent up into Heaven; and that the Pope was rather bound to doe so, by the Order which God himselfe seems to have observed in the Creation where he first furnished the Earth, and then the Heavens, Gen. 2. 4. and confirmed himselfe to be the Israeiltes God by this Argument, that he had given them the Land of Canaan and other temporall blessings. But since this exceeded Gen. 17. 8. the Popes omnipotence in earth; [Page 210] it was fit he should try what he could doe in Heaven. Now the Pope would fain have satisfied them with the Title of Beatus, which formerly upon the intrea­ty of the Princes of that Family he had afforded to Aloisius Gon­zaga Vita ejus Epist. ad Paul. 5. of that Order. He would al­so have given this Title of Saint rather to Xaverius, who had the reputation of having done Mi­racles. Indeed he would have done any thing, so he might have slipped over Ignatius. But at last he is overcome; and so against the will of Heaven, and of the Pope, Lucifer himselfe being not very forward in it, Ignatius must be thrust in amongst the Saints. All this Discourse, I, being grown cunninger then that Doctor, Ga­briel Nele (of whom Bartolus L. 1. de ve [...]blig. speaketh) that by the onely mo­tion of his lips, without any ut­terance, understood all men, per­ceived and read in every mans countenance there. These things as soon as Lucifer apprehended them, gave an end to the conten­tion: [Page 211] For now he thought he might no longer doubt nor dis­pute of Ignatius his admission, who, besides his former preten­ces, had now gotten a new right and Title to the place by his Ca­nonization; and he feared that the Pope would take all delay ill at his hands, because Canonization is now grown a kind of Declara­tion, by which all men may take knowledge, that such a one to whom the Church of Rome is much beholden, is now made partaker of the principall digni­ties and places in Hell: For these men ever make as though they would follow Augustine in all things, and therfore they provide that that also shall be true which he said in this point, That the Re­liques of many are honoured upon earth, whose souls are tormented in Hell. Therefore he took Ignatius by the hand, and led him to the Gate. In the mean time, I, which doubted of the truth of this Re­port of his Canonizing, went a little out for further instruction: [Page 212] for I thought it scarce credible, that Paulus Quintus, who had but lately burdened both the Citie of Rome, and the Church, with so great expences, when he canoni­zed Francisca Romana, would so easily proceed to canonize Igna­tius now, when neither any Prince offered to bear the charge, nor so much as sollicited it: for so he must be focred to wast both the Treasures of the Church at once. And from Leo 3. who 800 years after Christ, is the first Pope which canonized any, I had not obser­ved that this had ever been done: Neither doe I think that Paulus Quintus was drawn to the ca­nonizing of this woman by any other respect, then because that Rule which she appointed to her Order, was dictated and written by Valade. eius fol. 57. S. Paul: For though Peter and Magdalen, and others, were pre­sent at the writing thereof, as witnesses, yet Paul was the Au­thor thereof. And since St Pauls old Epistles trouble and disad­vantage this Church, they were [Page 213] glad to apprehend any thing of his new writing which might be for them, that so this new work of his might bear witness of his se­cond conversion to Papistry, since by his first conversion to Christia­nity, they got nothing: for to say that in this business Paulus Quintus could not chuse but be God, God himselfe to say that he must needs have lived familiarly with the Godhead: and must have heard Predestination it self whispe­ring to him: and must have had a place to sit in Councell with the most Divine Trinity, (all which Fol. 5. Valaderius sayes of him, is not ne­cessary in this matter, wherein the Popes for the most part proceed, as humane affections lead them. But at last, after some enquiry, I found that a certain idle Gazet­tior, which used to scrape up newes and rumors at Rome, and so to make up sale letters, vainer & falser then the Iesuits letter of Iapan and the Indies, had brought this newes to Hell, and a little Ie­suiticall Novice, a credulous soul, [Page 214] received it by his implicit faith, and published it. I laughed at Lucifers easinesse to beleeve, and I saw no reason ever after, to ac­cuse him of infidelity. Upon this I came back again, to spy (if the gates were still open) with what affection Ignatius, and they who were in ancient possession of that place, behaved themselves towards one another. And I found him yet in the porch, and there beginning a new contenti­on: for having presently cast his eyes to the principal place, next to Lucifers owne Throne; and finding it possest he stopt Luci­fer, and asked him who it was that sate there. It was answered that it was Pope Boniface: to whom▪ as to a principal Innova­tor, for having first challenged the name of Universal Bishop, that honour was afforded. Is he an Innovator thundred Ignatius? shall I suffer this, when all my disciples have laboured all this while to prove to the world, that all the Popes before his time did [Page 215] use that name? and that Gregory did not reprehend the Patriarch Iohn for taking to himself an An­tichristian name, but for usurping a name which was due to none but the Pope. And could it be fit for you, Lucifer (who in this were either unmindfull of the Roman Church, or else too weak and incapable of her secrets and mysteries) to give way to any fentence in Hell, which (though it were according to truth) yet differed from the Iesuits Oracles? With this Ignatius flyes upwards, and rushes upon Boniface, and throwes him out of his Seat: and Lucifer went up with him as fast, and gave him assistance, lest, if he should forsake him, his own Seat might be indangered. And I returned to my body; which

was with this return of my soul sufficiently refreshed. And when I had seen all this, and consider'd how fitly and proportionally Rome and Hell answered one ano­ther, after I had seen a Iesuit turn the Pope out of his Chair in Hell, I suspected that that Order would attempt as much at Rome.

An Apology for Iesuits.

NOw it is time to come to the Apologie for Ie­suits: that is, it is time to leave speaking of them, for he favours them most, which says least of them; Nor can any man, though he had de­claimed against them till all the sand of the sea were run through his hour-glass, lack matter to add of their pra­ctises. If any man have a minde to add any thing to this Apologie, he hath my leave; and I have therefore left room for three or four [Page 218] lines, which is enough for such a paradox; and more than Iungius, Scribanius, Gretzerus, Richeomus, Cydoni­us, and all the rest which are used to Apologies, and almost tired with a defensive war, are able to employ, if they will write only good things, and Bonar. in Ampbitb. true, of the Iesuits. Neither can they comfort themselves with this, That Cato was cal­led to his answer four and for­ty times: for he was so many times acquitted, which both the Parliaments of England and France deny of the Ie­suits. But if any man think this Apology too short, he may think the whole book an Apologie, by this rule of their own, That it is their greatest argument of innocency to be accused by us. At this time, whilst they are yet somewhat [Page 219] able to do some harm in some places, let them make much of this Apologie. It will come to pass shortly, when as they have bin dispoyled and expelled at Venice, and shaked and fanned in France, so they will be forsaken of o­ther Princes, and then their own weakness will be their Apologie, and they will grow harmless out of necessity, and that which Vegetius said Lib. 1. c. 14. of Chariots armed with sithes ond hooks, will be ap­plyed to the Jesuits, at first they were a terror, and after a scorn.