Lucida Intervalla: Containing divers Miscellaneous Poems, Written at Finsbury and Bethlem BY THE Doctors Patient EXTRAORDINARY.

—semel Insanivimus omnes.

LONDON, Printed Anno Dom. 1679.

TO THE Kings Majesty.

Great Sir,
BOth in Your Navy, and Gods Church, the Ark,
One Storm pursues the Parson and the Clark:
But now I see the Harbour; on a Rock
Defie the Seas, and Fortunes further Shock:
Kind Providence casts into Your Sacred Armes
The Shipwrackt Man; bids fear no future Storms.
To You, great Noah, me it doth entrust,
That You secure my Bark from Wave and Gust;
For Your Experience hath worse Billows broke,
And dangers greater stemm'd in Royal Oak:
Shew then, by giving me a quiet Station,
Your Thanks to Heaven for Your Preservation;
[Page 2]Your Preservation, which to Heaven's so dear,
That it works Miracles throughout the Year:
To sum them up, were to recount the Waves,
Or the Trees Leaves, where You it kindly saves:
The foot of the Account, is this late Plot,
In cold Blood, Charles to Murder on the Spot;
But the Defender of our Faith and Hope,
Guarded by Providence, defies the Pope;
The Pope, and all his Iesuites, conspiring;
Their own defeat, with Terrour, now admiring.
The Head of England's Church, Sate in the Chair
Of Parliament, Rome's Conclave cannot fear;
More safe, than Pope Infallible, I'm sure,
Whom both the Houses Loves, not Walls, secure
Th'Embrace when mutual, Interests when they twist
Ignatius will fall by Loyalist.

TO THE DUKE, GENERAL OF THE Artillery Ground, Overlookt by Finnes-burrough Mad-house, Where I was Confin'd.

YOur glitt'ring Arms propitiously shine,
On me made Prisoner here by Hells design;
For Satans Agents, my false Friends, combine
A Minister to Silence and confine.
I'm forc'd (though Sober) Bedlam to inherit,
When they, who put me here, the Prison merit;
For they're possest, not I, by th' Evil Spirit:
Then Soldiers send this Burrough, Sir, to Ferret.
[Page 4]Summon me to Your Tent; I'm Sober, Sound;
Call me from Finnes-burrough, to th' Artillery Ground;
For tho there's War Proclaim'd 'twixt Armes▪ and Gown,
Yet here It does receive the deeper Wound.
Better be Kill'd, than Slavery endure;
Thus the Sword's Weapon-Salve, and serves to Cure:
To this Restraint my Self I can't inure;
Where you are General, in the Field I'm sure▪
A Trick was plaid me, to requite the Cheat,
A Mad-man I have Acted, as a Feat:
Relieve me; hold! my Suit I won't Repeat
T' a Prince so Generous: Muse, sound a Retreat

To His Royal Highness.

FRom Finnes-burrough, to Bedlam I am come,
To be a Sober man, not Act mad Tom:
My name is Iames, not Nokes, and yet an Actor;
But now, Mad Devil, seek another Factor:
I am a Minister of God's holy Word,
Have taken up the Gown, laid down the Sword;
That of the Holy Spirit I must weild,
And Conquer Satan in the open Field:
He's the Strong man, who must be bound, disarm'd,
And so cast out; by Preaching he is Charm'd:
Get thee behind me then, Dumb Devil, be gone;
The Lord hath Epphatha said to my Tongue:
Him I must Praise, who open'd hath my Lips,
Sent me from Navy, to the Ark, by Pepys;
By Mr. Pepys, who hath my Rival been
For the Dukes favour, more than years thirteen:
But I excluded, he High and Fortunate;
This Secretary I could never Mate:
But, Clark of th' Acts, if I'm a Parson, then
I shall prevail; the Voice out-does the Pen:
Though in a Gown, this Challenge I may make,
And Wager win: save, if you can, your stake.
To th' Admiral I all submit, and vail
My Ambition's Topmast: Muse, now furl your Sail.

TO THE DUKE After my Enlargement.

I'M ready, Sir, t'obey your great Command,
But find it dangerous to Kiss your Hand:
No sooner I this Honour had assum'd,
But Folly me, and Envy Mad presum'd:
On me forthwith they laid, with ill intent,
Their Poison'd Fangs, and unto Finnesbury sent;
Where Dungeon, Chains, and Physick me did wait,
My Mad-suppos'd Ambition to abate:
But ne're the less She yet survives, nay grown
Much stronger, all Opposers has o'rethrown:
And hoping from such Enemies you'l save her,
She's bold to beg, you would repeat the favour:
Yet Honour here all Danger so out-vies,
She Finnes-bury, and Bedlam too defies.

Presented to the DUKE ON NEW-YEARS-DAY.

LEt all the Birds, pair by pair,
As well the Crane, as the Stork,
Sing and Chatter in the Air,
God Bless the DUKE of YORK:
The Duke and his Lady God bless,
Let every Tongue and Pen,
With Devotion mickle express;
As well the Maids, as the Men.
The Humorous Lieutenant, he
So fondly did Love the KING,
He bought all his Pictures in the City,
Was not that a pritty thing?
[Page 8]Why, I am down-right such a stark
Staring Lover of Royal IAMES,
Cause he thinks of his Parson and Clark,
Among the more Noble Names.
The Passion's great I discover,
My affection it such is,
That you will forgive the Mad-Lover,
If he Rival the very Dutchess.
May the Prince of Orange and Dame
Command the VVhite and the Tawny,
And extend their Royal Name,
O're the Delicate and Brawny.
May they be Hogan Mogan,
When the Mighty States are pull'd down;
And the Boors, that drink in a Nogan,
Assist to put on their Crown.
Thus the Poet did Write and Talke,
At Bedlam clad in Freese;
Where his Pen and Ink, it was Chalk;
Boards, Paper; and Diet, Cheese.

THE Poetical History OF Finnesbury Mad-house.

THe Dr—of Finnesbury-House
Knows, how to dissect an Oyster;
Whether Man, no more than a Mouse,
Be fit for Bedlam, or Cloyster.
I'le tell you his way of Proceeding,
All you, that here shall enter;
Purges, Vomits, and Bleeding,
Are his method of Cure, at a Venture.
By the way you must know, this Elfe
Both Bedlams does haunt, like the Louse;
And sways, as Chair-man himself,
Both upper and lower House.
[Page 10]Let him therefore be trusted by none,
But Fools, that are Fortunes Minions;
For, to Rule both these Houses alone,
Is to halt between two Opinions.
Mrs. Bish—then shut up your Shop,
And another Diocess get;
Bid adieu to the Mad and the Fop,
No Fish are for Finnesbury Net.
To this Colledge was brought by force,
A Parson, that shall be nameless;
The Doctor, he takes the same Course,
Though the Man be sober and blameless:
For he, both Fool and Physitian,
At all no difference made,
Betwixt a Senseless condition,
And Madness in Mascarade.
He Reports to the KING and the Court,
That Learning had made the Man Mad:
To observe, was the Patient's sport,
How little the Doctor had.
[Page 11]This Parson, he tore his Garment,
Then Mad he was concluded;
Hold, Good Sir, there's no harm in't,
Your Senses are deluded:
You for your Mad Meeting-House stickle,
And publick Bedlam cry down;
But I pray, in a Conventicle,
Who Sober would wear a Gown?
Oh but, Parson, you break the Wall,
And Burglary you commit;
If I must not this Madness call,
I am sure, 'tis want of Wit.
Religio Medici's left in the lurch;
He knows not Good from Evil:
For surely, the way to Build up the Church,
Is to pull down the Chappel o'th' Devil.
Then throw the House out at Window,
And lay it flat with the Ground;
For undoubtedly they Sin do,
That keep it another Year round.
[Page 12]The Doctor his Argument urges;
This Parson must needs be Mad,
For on him, neither Vomits nor Purges,
Any Influence have had.
Fond Doctor, you beg the Question,
And you might have spar'd your pains;
For my Blood's from a good digestion,
And your Physick is lost in my Veins.
Nay, I prescrib'd Chains of Iron,
To take him off of his Mettle;
But Brass did him environ,
He had rub'd his Face with a Kettle.
My Fetters they were but Straw,
To the Sinews of his Armes;
And he burst Bars and Doors, as I saw,
By I know not what mighty Charmes.
Moreover I him in the Hole,
As under a Bushel, confin'd;
Lest God's Word, the Light of the Soul,
In my Mad-house should have Shin'd:
[Page 13]Ne're the less into the Dungeon,
He let in the Rayes of the Sun,
And i'th' Pit, where him I did plunge in,
Made Night and Day meet in one.
In a place I did him stow,
Where Rats and Mice do swarm;
These by Instinct the Madmen know,
And therefore do them no harm.
Now as Weasel, Squirrel, and Ermine
Are, then Rats of a higher strain▪
Rats and Mice, the nobler Vermine,
Might awe the Worm in his Brain.
Yet he fear'd, lest the Rats and Mice,
Of his Senses should bereave him;
Therefore I taking good advice,
Sent Catmore in to Relieve him.
I laid him in Straw for a Bed,
Lest Feathers should make him light-headed;
That there his wild Oats he might shed,
And again to his Wits be wedded.
[Page 14]Without either Shirt, or Cloaths,
I lodg'd my merry Mad Youth;
For of Kin we may well suppose,
The Sober to Naked-Truth.
His Diet was most of it Milk,
To reduce him again to a Child;
And Butter as soft as Silk,
To smooth the Fierce and the Wild.
My Potions he turn'd into Drenches,
For he freely would take ne're a jot;
But by Thomas and the Wenches,
They were forced down his Throat.
To feel his Pulse, I never thought;
I a Month I see him but once:
And how my Mad Physick has wrought,
If I know in the least I'm a Dunce.
For, in Truth and sober sadness,
This Parson I found so smart,
That I fear'd his Wit, more than his madness,
The March-Hare I never dare start.
[Page 15]My Chirurgeon he fiercely withstood,
And he led him such a Dance;
That to let this same Gown-man Blood,
A Sword was more fit than a Lance.
I order'd his Keeper, at Large,
On occasion to ply him with Blows,
That what Iugular did not discharge,
The mad Blood might come out at his Nose.
Enough: Doc has done his Endeavour,
It must be confest, though a weak one;
His Wits gather Wool for a Beaver,
But he's no Fool to speak on.
However, I'le Sue out his Pardon,
The man's not so much to be blam'd;
For to make a Swan white is unheard on,
And Sobriety never was tam'd.
Then pray all, the mad-Devil ne're touch you,
Nor yet the Cholick or Tissick;
Pray, MUFTI and MAMAMOUCHI,
Mr. Parson and Doctor of Physick.

His Apology.

Doctor, you must, where I severely Gibe,
To my Poetick Fury, Gall ascribe;
And Pardon, that I make in this New Trance,
Among your Rats and Mice, my Satyre Dance.
Quod medicum mordace tuum mea Carmina vellant
Dente, tuus Vati donet, Apollo, furor:
Nec Mures inter, poterit culpare Machaon,
Si Satyram jubeat jungere Musa Choros.

On his being Seiz'd on for a Mad­man, only for having endeavoured to reduce Dissenters unto the CHURCH.

WHen Zeal for God inspires the Breast,
Says the Blind world, the Man's possest;
And flattering their own cold desire,
Call Lunacy, the Heavenly Fire:
But though their Eyes are by the Flame
So dasled, they mistake the Name;
Know, that 'twas born with Christ at first
In Bethlehem, and at Bedlam Nurst.
To God the Father, and the Son,
And Holy Spirit, three in one,
By Men and Angels, be there given
All Glory, both in Earth and Heaven.

On the late Horrid Plot.

OF this late Hellish, Damnable, and (to joyn
Both in one word) Papistical Design,
What Purgatory can wash out the Spot?
It shames, and even blows up the Powder-Plot▪
We therefore hope, it is the last effort
Of Popery, dying in City and in Court;
And in this juncture that She times her end
The Martyr Godfrey's Funeral to attend:
Fanaticism too (which kept her Ground,
By Popish Policy) dies o'th' self-same Wound:
Thus Martyrs Blood, of old the Churches Seed,
In Corn grown up, kills every noisom Weed
May then the Church of England, spight of Rom▪
Receive new Life and Vigour from his Tomb
And Conquering the joynt force of Her and He
To Catholick Christian World with Triumph tell
Infallibility is her self mistaken,
And treacherous Peter now by Christ forsake

The Cross Match.

When Abigail, by mistake, had Layman Married,
In State Affairs, 'twas seen, he oft miscarried;
Yet a long time Nub's Spouse put on no Gown,
But Hector'd it, with Sword and Muff, in Town:
Convinc'd at last, though Poets him made a Farce on,
He'd turn his Coat, that Nab might have her Parson:
This done, her Mar-text she suppos'd she had,
And, when he talk'd of Preaching, thought him Mad:
Down to the Conventicle brisk he goes,
Resolv'd to Rout the Church of Englands Foes:
But words were th' only Weapons of his War;
Love and Zeal led the Van; no Wound or Scar
[Page 20]From such a Skirmish fear; none Blood can lose,
Where Church is nam'd for common Rendezvous;
Where Peace alone is aim'd at, not a Fight,
Both sides to Yield, and Forces Re-unite:
That England may for Caesars Triumphs hope
A late Revenge on Rome, by Conquer'd Pope.
But th' Enemy, to frustrate this Designe,
Contrive Nab's Spouse to silence and confine:
This Trumpeter's Horn-mad they strait give out,
And making Nab o'th' Plot, her Martext rout:
To Mad-Quack, all agreed, they him commit,
By Hellebore to restore his ne're lost Wit.
Quack hugs himself with the conceit, secure,
He should great credit get, by Parson's Cure:
To work he goes; Proclaims him Mad at Court,
And spreads the Noise, to make the City sport:
Then half a year the Patient keeps in hand
(A Chirurgeon's Son he is, pray, understand)
But now observe how basely Doc's defeated,
And for Mad-Parson with a Poet cheated;
[Page 21]By whom Lampoon'd, mad-Quack is forc'd to say,
Madness and Wit act one part in the Play:
And thus these three, Fanatick, Wife, and Doctor,
In Bedlam me to keep, make up the Proctor.

Jackstraws Progress.

When Publican, in Pharisees old house,
Shut doors on me, and Finnesbury Mad Louse;
With Arms in sleeve of Gown redoubled stroke,
To open Bedlam-gates, I windows broke:
Then in my Charet Triumphant Rode away,
As well assur'd that I had got the day;
That this had storm'd the Castle call'd Iackstraws,
Arch-Traytor unto Reason and her Laws.
'Tis nam'd from Bethlehem, now possest by Turk;
'Therefore in's way the Priest of Englands Kirk
'Takes Coffee-House; where drinks a sober dish,
Goes thence to President, then to Porter Pish:
[Page 22]But to avoid suspition of all force,
This, moving towards my Palace, was my course.
Their violent hands I quitted, who approacht me,
With their officious rudeness to have Coach'd me.
Alone a Volunteere I Rode along,
Prince like, attended with a Lacquay throng:
The Metaphor to pursue, as I did pass,
I arm'd my hands in Coach with broken Glass;
Threatning the Slaves, which waited on my wheel,
That if they touch'd me, they should find 'twas steel,
Th' affrighted multitude observe their distance,
Without their help I enter, or my resistance:
But the great Tumult, and such solemn state,
Amus'd the Officers of Bedlam-Gate:
So well I Acted, that they did not stick,
Me to receive as their Arch-Lunatick:
Madder than Prince o'th' East, that Iack a dandy▪
Out-huffing both Nolls Porter, King, & Landy▪
Their Emperor they conduct to his Bed-chamber▪
And lodge his Majesty in Straw, like Amber.
[Page 23]Next day, tho Mad concluded, yet Iackstraw
By which to Rule, publisht this sober Law:
Porter and Keepers, look to't, be you Civil,
The Parson then will Conjure down Mad-Devil;
But as a Madman if you him entreat,
All Bedlam he'l out-do by many a feat:
Maugre this charge, the self-will'd Slaves Rebel,
And Bedlam make with chains and darkness, Hell:
Here Hellish Physick Quack down my Throat does pour,
The foam of Styx, and Acherons black shoar;
Administred by second Cerberus,
Matthews and Keepers here which govern us:
Only in this the just resemblance fails,
Hells Porter has three heads, but ours three tails;
Of which are fierce, the two from York & Wales;
On third, 'cause 't has no sting, the Monster rails:
All the three tails have head, and tongue their own,
But two wag only, and on their Master fawn.
Hold! Verse grows Monstrous too, and they the nail
Must hit, that say, 't has neither Head nor Tail.

Nullum Magnum Ingenium (absit verbo invidia) sine mixturâ dementiae.

It goes for current truth, that ever some madness
Attends much Wit, 'tis strange in sober sadness:
But now this Riddle I'le explain, Sir Quack;
And pray suppose I do it for your sake.
Within the Banks Wit flows with Moderation,
But Pride a deluge makes and Inundation:
This with the world, know, is your common case;
And that with Pride, Envy keeps equal pace:
Hence they are call'd, by Plot of poor and rich,
Madmen, whose wit's above the standard pitch:
This makes a Carcase with an Eagles Eye,
Be thought a Fit-for- Bedlam Prodigy.
But sure, when Friends & you me Mad concluded,
'Twas you your senses lost, by th'Moon deluded:
Then take advice; with Physick, of Apollo
Pray ask more Wit, and 'twill in reason follow;
You'l think me fit, cure but your self o'th' Fool,
Not only you to Lash, but Boys at School.

THE Duke of Grafton, Looking into his Cloyster, And kindly asking him; How he did.

WHen Graftons Duke to Bedlam came,
The Sober Walls resound his Name;
The Echo charms the Evil Spirits,
And the Mad Devil dis-inherits:
Thus (as from the Poets you know)
To Pluto's Court descending Iuno,
To ev'ry Fiend new pleasure yields,
And Hell turns to Elysian Fields:
When to my Cell his Grace drew near,
And kindly me saluted there;
An Angel seem'd to bring Advice,
And Moorfields strait were Paradise:
[Page 26]He once withdrawn, that very Even
Vanish'd the New-created Heaven;
Bedlam came to it self, and I
Fell from my pleasing Extasie.
My loss fit to Repair, what is it?
If Deputy Angels here me Visit:
My Soul, on such Wings if you mount her,
Will save my Carcase from the Counter:
But I my Prison must change i'th' end,
Unless such Guardians you me send.

The Doctors Advice.

PArson, leave off the Poet and Lampoon,
You'l Sober be, and may defie the Moon:
This seems at first mysterious Paradox,
But I will prove't, as round as Iuglers Box.
Phoebus and Luna, Sister are and Brother,
And understand for certain one another:
I, of their Privy-Council, as a Doctor,
Tell you your Case without a Fee or Proctor:
Unless the Moon assist him, I well know it,
Apollo never singly made a Poet.
Then Wit forswear, and like me prove but Dunce;
The Sun and Moon will quit you both at once.

The Patient Replies.

Faith, Doctor, what you say, is very prity;
Ine're before (nor now) thought you so witty:
But if't be thus, your Phys: I'le spill o'th' ground,
Vomit up Helicon, and then I'm sound.

The New Distinction.

TWo sorts of Patients Quack in Bedlam has▪
The one, that witty is; t'other, that was▪
Mad both: in frost and snow hence Pot does come▪
To cool hot Lunatiques, and Wits benumme.
By contraries to Cure, thus Doc takes pains,
Our much, with different heat, distemper'd brains▪
But howso'ere the Moon he may controll,
By Muses he's defy'd, and by their Droll.
'Tis true for want of Fire, as if grown old,
My joynts are stiff, and I'm opprest with cold▪
But influence of Apollo still is strong,
My Satyr brisk, lively my Muse and Song.
You that should Fury cure, and Poet save,
Are sending Post your Patient to the Grave:
For he (not frighted out of's Wits by Physick▪
To your new Madness, Palsie adds and Tissick▪

An Inscription To Madam Frazer, When he sent her some of his Verses.

YOur Father is Alexander,
And You his World-Conquering Daughter
(See the difference 'twixt Him and Her)
By Beauty, and not by Slaughter.
Among the rest, on your Charet,
Your Captive Poet does wait;
And in asking if he don't Mar it,
Expects from you a kind Fate.
I have sent you the Copies of Verses,
Presented by me to the Duke;
They are fit for the micklest of Herses,
I'le swear it upon a Buke.
If then you will make him but Witty,
By incouraging the Poet;
Your Praises he'l Sing in the City,
And the Conquer'd World shall know it.

Pronounc'd at the taking of a VOMIT.

SUre the Stars raign not now, but some dire Comet
Sends Mad-quack to me with this Poison'd Vomit;
But thanks to Apollo, who is on my side,
And hath with Antidote me fortify'd:
He hath not yet forgot, since Python fell
By his sure hand, all Poison to expel.
Then Mithridates like, if not secur'd,
By being to its mischief long inur'd:
T'elude the needless Physicks ill effect,
Purges and Vomits, Helicon shall correct.

A Dose for the Doctor.—facit indignatio versum.

SO little Wit, so much of Phlegm and Rheume
Our Mad-Quack has, that I may well presume
Hither as Patient he'l ne're be prefer'd,
To fill the number of the Madamens Herd:
Who e're is Mad, he first had Wit to lose;
Betwixt Fool and Physitian wink and chuse.
Was ever Man of Sense so great a Sot,
In half a year, not to smell out the Plot?
(By's leave I here shall call a spade a spade)
You Sot, I say, don't you know Mascarade
From down-right Madness? I, the scorn & sport
Will make you, e're I've done of Cit and Court.
Blush for your folly, Fop, or timely say,
Revenge for my Lampoons has made the Play:
Not? then pray judge, if he, whom want of wit
Excludes from Patient here, be Doctor fit.
[Page 32]But don't I Dream, and all this while am slave,
Not to a Fool, but a designing Knave?
Who either thinks the Sober too to tame,
And Cure of Madness to advance his Fame;
Or, snips with Pot, does Bedlam make for chink,
The Ditch o're which'tis Built with Phys t' out-stink.
And thus, for ought I know, my Doctor A-
May, without Poetry, prove Doctor K-

The Riddle.

DOctor, this Pusling Riddle pray explain;
Others your Physick cures, but I complain
It works with me the clean contrary way,
And makes me Poet, who are Mad they say.
The truth on't is, my Brains well fixt condition
Apollo better knows, than his Physitian:
'Tis Quacks disease, not mine, my Poetry
By the blind Moon-Calf, took for Lunacy.

PRESENTED TO HER GRACE, THE DUCHESSE of PORTS MOVTH.

THe Gauls first Conquer'd, to make up the sum
Of Beauties Triumphs, you to Britaine come;
Where all admiring Your Triumphant Face,
Do with amazed Eyes your Victory grace.
You them survey unmov'd, as is the Center;
But none, to make attaque on you, dare venture:
Till Charles, like Caesar, you o'recame at sigh
And all Your charming forces put to flight.
Monsieur will now in vain to England dance;
This Conquest does renew our claim to France.

HIS Rule of Behaviour: If you are Civil, I am Sober.

POrter and Keepers, when they're Civil
They charm in me the Madmens Devil;
The Roaring Lyon turns to Lamb,
Lies down and couches wondrous Tame:
For though at Bedlam Wits ebb and flow,
As wandring Stars move swift or slow;
My Brains not rul'd by the Pale Moon,
Nor keep the Sphears my Soul in Tune;
But she observes, and changes notes
With th' Azure of Sky-coulour'd Coats.

Ad Apollinem Poeseos & Medicinae Praesidem.

J Am Furor Humanos nostro de Pectore sensus
Expulit, & numen sentio, Phoebe, tuum:
Cede, Soror, Fratri; cum vellit Cynthius Aurem,
Quid mihi cum vestris, Pallida Luna, Rotis?
Carmina de Coelo possunt deducere Lunam;
Parce, Pater, Medicas frustrà adhibere manus.

Poet no Lunatick.

WHat's mortal Phoebus chasing, does inspire
My breast with breath of a diviner fire:
Yield Luna to your Brothers more powerful rays;
My Muse her Father first, not Aunt, obeys.
Apollo may spare his other Art; no fear,
His Poetry alone can rule thy Sphear.
When Priests of Delphi, and Parnassus Hill,
With Oracle or Verse, the God doth fill;
[Page 36]Prophets and Poets Mad are (in a sense)
And Sober grow, as they their gift dispense
One vents his Rage by words in open Air,
By Ink on Paper He drops his with care.
Physitian, heal thy self, we say; but know it,
In earnest said to the Self-curing Poet.

To a Tinmans Wife, Visiting him when he lay in Chains.

Mistress, the Chains on me which you put on▪
When first I saw you, are outdone by none:
They are the strongest, but they need no foil▪
They're all pure Gold, and Bracelets them I call▪
Another obligation of Tinne,
Your Husband me designs to Shackle in;
Iron locks my Leg fast: thus a treble chain
Me different pleasure gives, and different pain
Relieve in part; for me too close environ,
And heavy are, your Gold, his Tin, my Iron.

Ad Medicum de praescripto Vomitu.

RVctantis Vomitum quicun (que) relambit Homeri,
Castalias frustrà, jam Satur, haurit aquas:
Inde Poetarum nata est numerosa Propago,
Ingenio quorum vivit, & ore Pater.
Si mihi contingat similis Fortuna Vomenti,
Nonnè manet Medicum, Funis, Apollo, tuum?

To Mr. Doctor, on his giving him A VOMIT.

What Homer our Great Grandfather did Vomit,
We licking up, turn sucking Poets from it:
Doctor, if this be my Fate, when I Spue,
That Lapping Curs rise, all Lampooning you;
Your Physick you must save, and past all hope,
With Crocus Metallorum buy a Rope▪

To the Worshipful Sir William Turner, President of the Hospital of Bethlem.

I Two new Purgatories have of late discover'd;
And from 'em both, thank God, I am recover'd:
One Finnesbury, the other Bedlam nam'd;
Whether successively me to be Tam'd,
My Shrewish Wife and her Relations send:
But I grown fiercer, cheat 'em of their End.
Each with this difference shews a Middle State;
To Hell that's nearer, this to Heavens Gate:
Would we the reason of this difference know?
Sure from our President it needs must flow:
Iudges all three in him their Vertues joyne;
There singly governs Bishop Proserpine.

THE Patients Advice TO THE DOCTOR.

SAys He, who more Wit than the Doctor had,
Oppression will make a wise man Mad;
One in his senses, fierce, untame, and vext,
Means Solomon the Preacher in the Text:
Therefore, Religio Medici (do you mind?)
This is not Lunacy in any kind:
But naturally flow hence (as I do think)
Poetick Rage, sharp Pen, and Gall in Ink.
A sober Man, pray, what can more oppress,
Then force by Mad-mens usage to confess
Himself for Mad? Reduc'd to this condition,
He may defie the Rack and Inquisition.
Beyond all darkness, chains, and keepers blows,
Sir Madquack, is the Physick you impose;
[Page 40]Threatning, because my Satyres frisk & dance,
With Purge and Vomit them to tame and Lance.
Quack, you're deceiv'd; thus lies the argument;
One God (the Antients say) is President
Of Poetry and Medicine too; one Father
Of Esculapius, and the Nine together:
If Verses then can't Doctors Bills defie,
And Helicon all Potions else out-vie;
If Poets are not Physick proof, Apollo
At War is with himself, 'twill plainly follow:
But Phoebus holds the Scale with equal hand,
And does, to keep his own bounds, each command.
Hence Poets, when Quack dares Physick in their rage,
They vent more sharply choler on the Stage:
Poison, the Body only does torment;
This strangely makes the very Soul ferment.
Let me prescribe then; Phys withdraw, & soon
You'l my new Madness cure, you call Lampoon.

Presented to His Grace the Duke of Monmouth.

THough Pegasus does willingly obey
My Fancy's rains, and rul'd is in the way
To Muses Hill; yet cannot I perswade him,
To draw a Charet; that's a Task will Iade him:
Horses there are, Sir, in your Royal Stable,
More than Poetically for it able:
A pair give to your Poet, and he'l pray,
That Fortunes Wheel may ever you obey;
That on your Charet Captive Slaves may wait,
And French King Chain'd, expect from you his Fate.

On Report of the Duke of Monmouth coming to see the Place.

To Bedlam when the General came from Flanders,
Fools-Cap & Mad-Cap were Cashier'd Commanders:
Each a considering Monmouth-Cap did put on;
Turn'd Grave and Wise, as Hospital of Sutton.

Ad Medicum, se ab oculis omnium removeri, jubentem.

Clauserat obscuro cùm me Medicaster in Antro,
Luce novâ Tenebras ecce Puella fugat!
Formoso Angustas extendit lumine Rimas:
I nunc, & Solem, Doctor inepte, nega.

On the Ladies looking into his Cell.

When Doctor Mad-Quack me i'th' Dark had put,
And a close Prisoner in my Cloyster shut;
A Lady chanc'd peep in, whose Beauty bright
Enlarg'd the crannies, and let in new light:
Quack, I'm now pleas'd, without the Sun, confin'd
See how he Blushes, by my Star, out-shin'd.

To a Lady, who was very kind to him in the place.

MAdam, when first your Beauty shin'd
Into my Cell, on me confin'd,
I grew in Love with my dark Cloyster;
Slighted (poor and hungry) Pearl and Oyster:
The Apricotts which you me threw,
The thoughts of Paradise renew;
In Edens Garden sure they grew,
Transplanted to Moorfields by you.
You gave me Silver; whence I hold,
I ought not to Envy Danae's Gold;
For though on her Iove rain'd a Shower,
Twant real, but Poetick Oar.
You me with Paper, Pen, and Ink,
Madam, supply'd, as well as Chink;
This my Muse studies to requite
In part, to you when she does Write.
[Page 44]Your Charity sent me a Shirt, each thread
Whereof, to you me fast does Wed;
And thus from your extended hand,
The Shirt in mine, turns to a Band.
At Night in Straw, Lying a long,
To th' Oaten Pipes this was my Song.

To a Friend that sent him a Box.

THus as I lie, I Fancy I'm Iack-straw,
And to Rebellious Bedlam give the Law;
Yet though a Prince, so low my Fortune's sunk,
That I do want, which you supply, the Trunk:
And for my Verses writ on Apricocks,
You kindly make Iack-straw, Iack-in-a-Box.

To another sending him a Chair.

We Greet you well, and as well 'tis resented,
That you Iackstraw with Chair of State presented:
But we shall yet be more considerable,
If your Companion Carpet send or Table.

A Bethlehemite in Bedlam, one of the small Pro­phets, and a minor Poet to the Lady Sheriffesse Beckford, Mrs Catherine Heywood, and Mrs Johnson, requesting them to make his Cloy­ster fit for their Reception, and then to allow him the Honour to kiss their hands, in the too close em­braces of his Prison.

YOu three Graces, and Nine Muses are a Iury;
Do these agree, mine's fit for Bedlam fury?
No; nor am I Mad, but with design for certain:
Acting the Part, my Name-sake's not Sir Martin.
The Bedlam Quack, dissector of an Oyster,
Me as his Patient, Physicks in this Cloyster:
I sleep in Stubble, where I'm bid to Sow
My wilder Oats (may Ceres speed the Plough)
There as I lie, I second am Iack-straw,
And all the Bedlamites do over-awe:
Fair Ladies, you the Posse Comitatus,
With Beauties force, can quell the Slaves that hate us.
[Page 46]But pray hence forward see, I lie in Feather;
With Quils pickt out, I'le praise all three together:
To this the Poet better you'l enable,
If his dark Cell you hang with brighter Sable;
And when your goodness hath prepar'd the place,
Come challenge here the Glory of your Grace.

To the same.

By Vertue's Temple, Honour's you approach,
And from this Cloyster go I to a Coach:
In lieu of hanging It, since I am well,
A Charet give, to take me from my Cell.
In windy Nights my House both rocks and reels;
Then Scythian-like, you'l Build me one on wheels:
Each of the Ladies may, by your connivance,
Bestow a Horse; for this is the contrivance,
That People, seeing me ride, may call these forces,
The Posse Comitatus Coach and Horses▪

ON Madam Gwyn's Saying of Her Self, She was the only Protestant Mistress.

I Sing a Ladies Praise, whose true Religion,
Rome's Eagle does defy, & Mahomet's Pidgeon:
Pens, that can't here exceed an Enchiridion,
Come not from Pegasus, but a senseless Widgeon.
She's true to Church of England, and its King,
A subject fit for dying Swans to Sing;
To be writ with Quils pluckt from an Angels wing,
Her Beauty's so Celestial a thing.
When for the Curtain, she the Stage did change,
Cum Privilegio 'twas, Roger l'Estrange:
The Mystery's not easily reveal'd;
Contents must guest at be, when Letter's Seal'd:
[Page 48]This is in part the Case; Unto St. Helen
A Church there's Consecrate, and rul'd by Pelling
She sure must be that Saint: who can disprove it
To her Greek Name-sake sure you won't remove it
If then the true Church Catholick she own,
And Christians to her Shrine vow That of Stone,
A double Claim she to the Title hath
Of Mistress, to Defender of the Faith.

TO Mr. Stackhouse, Presenting me with a PERIWIG.

OUr Souls, into a Mansion-House of Clay,
Are thrust by Heaven, there, while we live, to stay:
Therefore I must, from what you me present,
You Thatch-house call of Iackstraws Tenement:
I did it want, e're since my coming hither,
My upper Room to Skreen from wind & weather:
For though I'm thought hot-headed, I find no harm,
In keeping with your gift my Noddle warm:
I thank you then, to dance my Bedlam Gigg,
For furnishing Hair-brain with Huffing-Wigg;
And pay you for't the current Coin, he uses,
These curled locks and tresses of the Muses.

Poets are Mad.

IN Bedlam, best of Universities,
The Poet, not the Parson, takes degrees:
Among the common Herd at first he's enter'd,
After into a Room, with windows ventur'd:
That Sermons may not want a Psalm, the Droll
Lives fitly with Nolls Porter, Cheek by Iowl:
One end Musitian Thamar, thought the milder
T'other extreme Poet takes up, that's wilder;
For his Wits rampant, and 'tis Mad-quacks pleasure
To say, his Madness hath no other measure:
Nay, to the Governors this Fool declares,
Him fit for Bedlam, 'till he Wit forswears.
Poets and Players, now pack up your Awls,
To Bedlam you aloud, Fop Mad-Quack calls;
And 'till he cures you of Poetick Rage,
Our Galleries you must fill, quit Pit and Stage

On the Doctors telling him, that 'till he left off making Verses, he was not fit to be discharg'd.

DEsiring his Imprison'd Muse t'enlarge,
The Poet, Mad-quack mov'd, for his discharge.
He angry answer'd, Parson, 'tis too soon,
As yet I have not Cur'd you of Lampoon;
For know, New Bedlam, chiefly for th' infected
With this new sort of Madness, was erected:
Bucks both and Rochester, unless they mend,
Hither the King designs forthwith to send:
Shepherd and Dreyden too, must on 'em wait;
For he's resolv'd at once to rid the State,
Of this Poetick, Wanton, Mad-like Tribe,
Whose Rampant Muse does Court and City Gibe.
Thus Bedlam may be cur'd perchance, if't hits,
After despair of Physick, by the Wits.
The answer pleas'd; yet I have cause to fear,
The Doctor flatter'd, as 'tis usual here:
But if my Brethren come, I've learnt this Lesson,
In such good Company, Bedlam is no Prison.

On the Doctors letting him Blood.

Doctor, my Rhythmes on you which do reflect,
Know, of Poetick fury are th'effect;
To let me Blood then, you're but Fool in grain,
Unless your Lance prick my Poetick Vein:
No longer now, for shame, pretend the Moon,
For Phoebus rules my Madness and Lampoon.

The Mistake.

TH' Occasion of this Error, who can tell?
I Bedlam Heaven thought, but find it Hell:
Darkness and Chains are here, and Porter too
Of Pluto's Court; for without more ado,
Mathews the Body; three Keepers, three Heads mate,
And Cerberus make up at Bedlam-Gate:
Here I must treated be like, Mad and Fop,
'Till to the Monster I can give a Sop.

Made the 13. of November, Being a Fast-Day On Account of the Plot.

WHen Heavens Frown, and Clouds now big with Thunder,
Direct the fatal Bolt; I can't but wonder
We charge the Storm on Iesuite and Pope,
And fondly threaten Tyburn and the Rope:
Just as when Tempest in the Seas did rise,
And Neptune tost both Ships and them to Skies;
The huffing Xerxes lasht the Winds in vain,
And order'd Waves to fetter with a Chain.
The God of Heaven knows, our sins, our sins
Hatch all the mischief; there the Plot begins:
As they encrease, the blackness from a hand,
Darkens the Sphear by the Almighty span'd:
[Page 54]Wash them away but with Repentant Tears,
Such flowing Streams an Ebb make in our fears.
What e're we think, w'are in a safe condition,
By nothing more, than a strict Inquisition:
Examine well your hearts, and search your mind,
Sins with Granadoes chequer'd, there you'l find.
W'are Traytors to our selves; our Lusts conspire,
The City new Rebuilt to set on fire:
Zeal for Gods Glory, let it burn but high,
Destroying Flames will dwindle out and die:
Whatever ills we suffer, be we sure,
Sin's the Disease, Repentance is the Cure.
That we may then, Popes Bulls and Plots defie;
That Englands Church may haughty Romes outvie:
Let this our Ark in such a Deluge Swim,
As may from Weeping Eyes o'reflow the Brim:
The strongest Guardians, to assure our fears
Of Peters Successor, are Peters Tears.

ON A Fanatick Ropemaker.

REligion you put on, as Knaves their Cloak;
To hide your base designs, you it bespoke:
Thus we remember, how Old Noll did Pray,
That unsuspected, Charles he might betray.
In the Lords Name, 'tis known, begins all Evil;
His Livery you wear, and serve the Devil:
Witness your heart and mouths flat contradiction,
By Hell-bred lies, Truth turning into Fiction:
Witness poor Orphans, hook't into your Net,
And then devour'd with greedy Appetite:
But, my good friend, be sure such Meat will choak you,
And Iustice both from God & Man will smoak you.
Witness the cheating Practice in your Trade,
And selling Ocum when for Ropes you're paid.
[Page 56]He that vents rotten Cables 'gainst all Law,
Iniquity with Cart-Ropes needs must draw.
The Pilot now may justly fear the Port,
And Rocks and Storms in open Ocean court:
But could I dip my Pen in Gall and Rancour,
I'de scratch this Knave, makes Ships unsafe at Anchor:
The Knave that's Fool too, one of fortunes minions,
A Hypocrite, halting betwixt two Opinions:
Unheard of Villain, forsook and left i'th' lurch,
Both by the Devils-Chappel, and Gods Church.
New-England too (that last and known retreat
Of all the Brethren of the Holy Cheat)
You have abus'd, they'l banish you, and Swear,
Th' Artificer's as rotten as his Ware.
If then no Place nor Party him receive,
He's ripe for Tyburn, that's not fit to live;
Where when he's Hang'd, he may have some small hope,
To swing in one of's Own, and crack the Rope.

TO THE LADY IANE LEVISON GOWER, AND Mrs. CATHERINE NEWPORT, each giving him Six pence.

TWo Ladies here me Sixpence gave a piece;
I valued each above the Golden Fleece:
In One I made a hole, about my Neck
Designing it to wear, to give a check
To Bedlam Spirits, and to charm Mad-Devil,
As Angel Gold is us'd, to heal Kings-Evil:
T' other I bow'd, to take the faster hold;
Yet Both slipt through my fingers, as doth Gold:
My Riches fled away on Eagles Wing,
And for the Honey in Carcase left their Sting:
But courage take, Iackstraw; the hands ( I'm sure)
That for thy Wound made way, can give thee Cure.

To a Friend, upon his sending him Venison to BEDLAM.

IF like be fed by like, what better meat
Can Horn Mad, wild as Buck, then Venison eat
Sir, this Philosophy you understood,
And sent a Hanch to be our Bedlam food:
Accordingly we it, for such like reason,
Did, 'cause Hot-headed, well with Pepper season
Madness and Wit then, being all one (o'th' place
Sir Quack) much Salt made proper in the Case
And the truth is, Deer must be Diet fit
For Horn-Mad equally, and nimble Wit:
The Vertue I feel, and this experience gain,
Venison i'th' Blood swells the Poetick Vein.
Now Doc and Pot, those whiffling Curs, in couple
That always Hunt, I'le keep at bay and bubble;
For Goat and Venison differ so small a matter,
That Buck will lusty make my Bedlam Satyre▪
And ( when with Rope Sir Quack has cur'd the sma [...]
My Brisk Lampoon, survive the long-liv'd Ha [...]

Presented to the Right Honourable EDWARD SEYMOUR, Esq His ever Honoured Master.

WHen unfledg'd Orator, & Tongue but weaker,
For Secretary chose by Mr. Speaker,
I straitway got the knack of better talking,
And from Clarks desk, to Pulpit must be walking:
For not per saltum taken is Degree,
When of a Scribe, you're made a Pharisee.
Would you then know, how Clark became a Teacher,
And how the Speaker's man starts up a Preacher;
My Master's Spring, some drops on me distills,
And in his Ink I dipt my Infant Quills.

His Petition to Mr. Speaker.

A Man of Sense in Bedlam, I recount
Among our Grievances, or Tant-amount:
To Rescue me, then Serjeant send at Armes;
The Circle in the Crown, Mad-Devil charms:
And Man in Moon, so sure his Bush at Back,
Must fall by Mace, as fire by Malaga Sack.

On his mistaking the Name OF Sir Gabriel Silvius, Presented to his Lady.

SIr Gabriel I mistaking, call Sir George;
And of an Angel, thus a Saint do forge:
Sure Jealous, lest you (at our Saviours Birth
Being of the Quire of those that Sang on Earth)
Do from us Mortals, when you Mount and Sing,
Your Lady steal away upon your Wing.
Such Flight me robs of Soul, and what I am,
More plainly must discover then my Name
Our Life and Bliss secure then; lest we die,
Stay long on Earth, and late to Heaven flie.
But let me still you Englands Champion call,
As Omen of the Beast's and Dragon's fall.

The Poet's modest and reasonable Expostulation, with the non-Infallible Pope of the Lunatiques, on be­half of the sober Parson, hitherto mistaken, and misjudged by Religio Medici.
Humbly Presented to the Worshipful, the Treasurer, and other the Go­vernors of the Hospital of Bethlem.

A Pollo, God and Father, you and I
Own, both in Physick and in Poetry:
Brother, because Lampoon'd, what do you mean
A Son of Phoebus Lunatick to feign?
Guilty, the Verdict of a City Jury
Can bring him in, but of Poetick Fury;
Whereof necessity must guilt abate,
For he, all madness, pleads, is kin to Fate▪
Since then, right Reason says, he can't forego it,
Condemn his Fury, but discharge the Poet.
Doctor, I am (no ways, as worth Remarque is,
Your Patient, but) Your humble Servant, Carkesse.

Mr. Dr. Mr. D▪

While I'gainst Keepers Tyranny Rebel,
And with the thought of Mad-quacks Poison swell;
He gives it out, that he my head can Cure,
But my proud heart from Physick is secure:
Pray then take heed, Sir Tinker Chirurgion Quack,
Lest mending one, you may another Crack;
For I, whilst you prescribe so like a Fool,
My own Wit more admire, and you at School
Expect among my Boyes, by Rod and smart,
To learn, though late, the Rudiments of Art.
I find that my old School-Boy cannot spell,
Nor Satyre from familiar Satan smell:
This makes the Child, for Poet, read Possest
(A Boy well taught, might better sure have guest)
This Owl no difference makes 'twixt Sun & Moon,
And calls at Random, Lunacy, my Lampoon.

THE Founders Intention.

HEnry the Eighth this Hospital Erected,
Madmen to Cure, with Lunacy Infected:
But Anger, a short Madness call'd, and Passion
Here to arraign was ne're th'intent nor fashion:
This kind in Porter and in Keepers raigns,
And they should wear, who fasten on our chains:
This to be cur'd at Bedlam, were it meant,
It's Doctor should be his own Patient;
Who, if in truth he be both Fool and Knave,
For saying so, shall I be kept a Slave?
Is't Lunacy to call a spade, a spade?
And, Ladies, tell me, in your Mascarade,
Are wit and senses lost? or doth this follow,
When Poetry is given by Apollo?
Short-sighted Friends, and Madquack too, beware,
For your Mad Poet can with safety Swear,
[Page 64]Design procur'd him in this Bay a birth,
To puzle, and make you all his Muses [...].
I must confess, what e're's absurd, and wide
Of truth, by Bedlam may be justify'd;
But that its Doctor these Conclusions makes;
For Lunacy, Lampoon and Satyre takes:
To say no more, his case is very sad;
Such a great A—can ne're hope to be Mad.

THE Porter, a Prince.

AN Hogan Mogan State we justly call,
The Governors of Bedlam Hospital;
For Orange they elect Prince Porter Blue
( Trueman and Knave in grain, are of one hue)
The Gentlemen their Servant him suppose;
But he's their Head, and leads them by the Nose.
This Loyal Hollands common prayer must be:
May our Nassau be absolute, as He.

ON Mrs. Moniments Giving him a Visit at Bedlam.

HEaring, that There was one, at sight,
Her Praise or Epitaph, could Write,
Carkesse to Visit with intent,
From Charing-Cross came Moniment:
In such a Tomb I chuse to lie,
And yield up Ghost before I Die:
She's Kind, not Proud; as Both are faire,
To Niobe I her compare;
To Niobe, while Flesh and Bone,
Not her own Moniment of Stone;
For 'twould be her true Lovers loss,
Were either Marble she, or Cross.

To his Friends, that gave in Security, according to the Custome of the Hospital.

A Publican and Stocking-Factor joyn,
In Bethlem Hospital me to confine.
'Tis pleasant to observe, how both these tend,
By differing circumstances, to one end:
Clark of the Rates, Error in casting makes,
And for a Fraction, my crackt Brain mistakes;
The Hosier (fancying a Warehouse full)
Conceits, my scatter'd Wits do gather Wool:
But Poet, Lunatick, is ill reckoned;
And Man's a Man, but with a Hose on's Head.
Then his mistake each to correct had best,
One in Account, t'other in's Interest;
And Paper-Fetters to withdraw, take pains;
For Bridewel Bonds give strength to Bedlam Chains.

On the late PLOT.

PEter thou art, and on this Rock, my Church
I'le Build, says Christ: Interpreters i'th' lurch
This Text has left, and puzl'd in every Age,
E're since our Saviour went off the Stage:
Thousands of Souls on it, alas! have split,
By their own Folly, or others too much Wit:
On these words, rackt by Iesuite and Pope,
Their followers falsly ground their faith & hope:
On this foundation their late Plot did stand;
But thanks to heaven, that turn'd the Rock to Sand:
That all their high-built hopes has thrown to th'ground,
And Babel-Builders fitter Mansions found:
Peter himself (spight of their Wit and Power)
Huggs Cloud, for Iuno; for this Rock, the Tower.

Dr. Titus Oates, Anagramma, Testis Ovat.

Dicite, Jo Paean! & Jo, bis dicite, Paean!
Incidit in casses Itala Turba suos.
Per Titum Solymaea jacent, heu! Templa; ruinam
A Tito expectes Vindice, Roma, tuam.
Testis Ovat, laeto canit omine Musa; Britannis
Vberior (spes est) indè Triumphus eat.
England, Rejoyce; see fal'n into the Pit
Digg'd by himself, the subtle Iesuite.
Titus destroy'd Ierusalem; and Rome
Her self, from Titus, may expect her doom.
Grow, Titus Oates, and thriving in this Land,
A Promise of our future Triumph, stand.
FINIS.

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