I. The Character of a Prison.

A Prison is a Cage of unclean Birds; not that they are unclean of themselves, but that their nasty Attendants desire to have them appear unclean Beasts like them­selves. Augeus Stables had dain­ty Grooms, if compar'd to their Chamberlains. The whole Prospect of this forlorn Room is a Grate; where through every transenn, every stancher, those incaged Birds may take a view of the Iron Age. They say, Spirits walk there; but very few Spirits to entertain the least por­tion of Compassion. This Cacus Cave is com­par'd [Page 2] to the Lions Den; Turn once the Ward, — Et vestigia nulla retrorsum. Her Walls, in­stead of Darnicks, Arras, and Tapistry, are commonly interwoven with Ariadnes Cawls, Spider-webs, and such like over-worn Trophies of Antiquity. The Cimmerians in their Dwel­lings, resemble these in their Lodgings; onely their Lights are different: Those receive some scattered Beamlings by their Mountain-Cran­nies; these by their forlorn Loop-holes. Her constant Inhabitants, to their dis-comfort, re­tain such Back-biters, that though they give them sustenance, yet they startle them sleeping and waking with their too obsequious adhe­rence. The Musique of this House, holds in con­sort with the Trapezites, all Iron. If her Meniey were as constant in their Affection, as in their Mansion; as firmly link'd in the bonds of fide­lity, as in their Links of a necessitated Society, they were a brave amicable Family. Either her own parcimony, or her In-mates penury is such, as she keeps no Open-house. So short is she in her wages, and so spare in her solace, as her Servants are weary of her before an end of their first quarters service. She's careless from whence they come, but infinitely cautious how they goe away. And if they goe away without her favour, they are in great danger to break their necks for their labour.

II. The Anatomy of a Iaylor.

HE is a brave boisterous Blade; one who has made a contract with his tongue and look: with the latter to look ugly; with the other to speak harshly. He is a cunning Fal­coner; and with his imperious Whistle keeps his mu'd fowl in such command, as they hold themselves blessed when they are without the sound of his call.

He is active in the exercise of his Mannacles, Boults, and Fetters. He binds his Apprentices to such hard conditions, as some are enforced with the loss of their lives to purchase their freedom. He is so richly disciplined in the Aray of Oaths and Curses, as he has learn'd to damn his unhappy Family with no less facility than felicity. This makes the Devil hugg him Morning and Evening, charging him to go on in his Work, and he shall be sure of his Wages. His onely Fees derive their gratui­ties from the sins of the people. If you tell him of the Iaylor in the Acts; he either be­lieves not the Story: or he calls him a White­liver'd Officer to make Conscience his Com­mander. He is of such a base quality, as to feed himself, he starves his Meniey. Shreeks, groans and Lachrymae are his delicious harmony. [Page 4] He has so dis-used himself to Civility, as he cannot utter one word of comfort, to gain him a Kingdom. If his poor famished family receive a reward; it returns to his Ward. While they, poor Souls, pray for their Bene­factors: He becomes whole Sharer. The poor Prisoners Box is his Exchequer; his Prisoners, his Spongies; their ruine, his raising; their famine, the improvement of his fortune. All his Keyes are made for Spring-locks; they will shut of themselves, but never open.

This surly Mastive glories in nothing more than in displeasing; and where he dare not bite, to be snarling. He makes more disheart­ned Spirits tremble one day, than he did for his sins all his life. His onely triumph is over mi­sery: and his resolution to exclude mercy. He hath no time to pray, lest he should neglect his charge. Yet for a fat bribe in a Corner, he will not stick to truck with his well-lin'd Pri­soner: though by his voluntary escape he haz­ard an halter. Generally, he never looks up to heaven, but when he is posting to hell: and now the unaccustomed thought of his sins makes his Journey seem long and heavy: but let him comfort himself; it is all down-bank, and that will make it seem more easie.

III. A Iaylors Wife.

WE have done with Pluto; we are now to pluck one feather from the Wing of his dainty Duckling Proserpina. Would you have her Picture drawn to life? That curious Holland Artist Hans Car­vile, though he had the absolutest fancy in pourtraying the Devil, could not do it if he were living: yet we will shadow, though we cannot to her full body so exquisitely limn her.

For her Constitution and Composition, they suit as neerly with her Iaylors Disposition, as Charon and Acheron. Since the very hour that she put her Wedding-ring on her knotty finger, it has been her highest ambition to mould her self to her surly Husbands humor: and to ob­serve his deportment in every posture. The Wheel of her tongue is of a perpetual motion; yet generally she spits as much as she speaks; wherein I must caution you to keep your di­stance; and not to come within the compass of her Sent; for the very steam which drills from her fluets, retains more venome than the foam of a mad Dogg. She's an intollerable Slut; yet he that should venture to call her so, might be sure to have a dark Lobby for his lodging. Any one [Page 6] may smell her, before he see her; so strongly is she chafed with Kitching pomander. She has usually more fat on her skirts, than many of her starv'd Meniey have on their Ribs. Her A pricock Nose is a common Sewer, ever run­ing; so as her tongue cannot be more active, than that is fluent. To save a Faggot, every Winter Morn, she makes fuell of her Maids; bestowing more basting of them, than she doth on her meat. Her complexion (lest you should neglect her when you see her) holds near resemblance to a parcel of scorched Lard: yet she has a conceit there is not a morsel about her, but infinitely deserves love. If she take notice of an handsom well-timbered Prisoner, that promiseth ability in his feature; She will not stick to reserve some of her best reversi­ons for him, and cram him, not by way of Alms, but for her own benevolence. She changeth not her Clothes half so often as she doth her Maids. For her heavy houshold, though their appetite be strong, their repast is weak. Thus in a double restraint these poor wretches suffer; air and fare; thraldom and hunger; and in these, He has vow'd to keep them as short in the One, as She means to a­bridge them in the Other. Yet it is strange; amidst all these dis-gusts, She's infinitely dear to her Guests. Now to bring her to bed, if her Iaylor lose her, you may be confident who [Page 7] will have her. But I perceive her diving, like the Spirit in the Vault; we will leave her to her long sleep; and thrice happy had many of her In-mates been if she had never wakt.

IV. The Porter.

ALL hail to Cerberus! how despe­rately the Tartarian Cur looks? His uncertain revenues consist wholly of rewards: and these his unhallow'd Keys keep in the cir­cumference of their Wards. He has no other vails to support him; so as he becomes no less unnecessarily lasie, than necessarily lousie.

The onely way to act Malevolo, is to fall into poverty. And he is already fallen upon that Rock. He cannot speak affably, if you should hang him; unless he observe an hope­ful visitant approaching his Gate: and then he labors to strain courtesie with his ingenerous inbred quality; and to open to him with an unmannerly congy. He is infinitely weary in doing nothing; and yet should you take him from his unprofitable vocations, he would ad­venture to do somthing worse than nothing. He sleeps as much as he either eats or drinks: but that's not his fault, but his slow Benefactors: [Page 8] for he has Ericthous bowels to receive, if he had any open-hearted Vitellius to give. He coun­terfeits a pleasant shrug, upon the admittance of a well-crammed Prisoner; and his first morning visit must be reserv'd for his Chamber. Now, you must not conceive this to be out of any love to his Guest; but meerly for his Morning Draught and a Canonical Toast: which many times (bar basket reversions) serves him for his whole days repast. This Dogg in a doublet, should he be called to an account of his life, you should hear such a reckning as would partake more of Cannibal than Christian. He had re­tyred hours enough to say his Prayers in: but he held Devotion such an Antipos to his pro­fession, as he mightily feared he should lose his place, by inuring his idle hours to any such pious pratice.

And now after his long useless service, where­in neither he himself reaped much profit, nor his Prisoners solace; looking with the Swan upon his feet, he perceives he has purchased some­thing that will stick near him, when all his ac­quaintance leave him: Gout and Dropsie, which hale him along from his Porters-lodge to a low­er Century.

V. The Century.

ARe men of the Livery. Red-coats, Blew-coats, Green-coats, White-coats; nay, Turn-coats in hope of better pay. They are as vigi­lant and as prudent (for ought I know) as those watchful Birds of the Capitol. They are sufficiently indoctrinated in their words of command; which they use upon all occasions: Stand, who goes there?—Corporall! They are principally versed in Parades and Re­liefs. They hold themselves privileged men by the Law of Arms: and scorn the repulse of a stranger, so long as they cling together. Night rovers are their best Benefactors. These, what occasion soever they pretend, must untruss, or let them be sure to suffer disgrace. Now should you single them out, and put them to any In­terogatories, you were not to expect from them any resolutions in affairs of discipline (wherein they are generally better fed than taught:) for they hold it sufficient knowledge to return an account under what Captain they serve. For any other questions, it were needless for you to demand: seeing they are bound to answer no more than they know. Those Golden and Silver Shields in the Athenian Guards, were to their glory none of this Century. These are [Page 10] onely known to their Country Arms: which they mean more ordinarily than orderly to man­age upon any State-service. Some of these, to save their Hamlet an unnecessary charge; by their provident husbanding of their Powder; have not discharged their Muskets, since their first admittance to that military Order. They hold shedding of blood, be the quarrel never so fair nor cause just, to be a crying sin; there­fore to clear their innocent souls from that soil, they have religiously vow'd never to draw (un­less it be upon great advantage) in their own de­fence. Yet like Garden-Doggs, they are very fierce on the night; especially if they be backt, and find a remisseness of spirit in their Assailant. Yet I would have their Spectators retain this opinion of them; that they are brave metall'd Blades, Sparks of honor; and such as will make their Centuries smoak again to display their val­lour. There is nothing but it may be usefully imployed to some end or other: this makes these terrible Myrmidons use their Match instead of Tinder, while others (more active in tossing a Pipe than a Pike) receive light from their labor. But nights are cold and long; and if Moon­light, fuller of danger; for then Trees send forth their shadows, which at first fight resemble ene­mies: But perceiving those shady Bushes to be no Foes, but meer Apparitions to delude them, they are content before their Reliefs to take a Nap; where we do leave them.

VI. The fat Prisoner.

IS one that is given to the flesh, as the flesh is given to him; for if otherwise, he might be as thin as other of his fellow-Rats, who feed on the same Commons, but batten not so well, for want of con­coction; or in that they have not such merry hearts to allay their affliction. This May-Bird can sing as sweetly in a Cage, as if he were in a Forrest. He accounts his imprisonment the Em­bleme of his life: and his life neither unhappier nor shorter by being a Prisoner. He findes free­dom in his greatest restraint; and that inward liberty which many Libertines who have the wide world to walk in, could never pur­chase.

But these are Contemplative men, who make Heaven their Object; and consequently, what­soever is here below, their Subject.

Now, there be other fatlings who cram themselves in security. Their Pot, Pipe and merry company so besots them, as they make no diffe­rence at all betwixt bondage and liberty. These have put off all cares; and like Porkets in a Sty, feed without thought of provision; and like loose Epicures, turn from their Troughs without thansgiving. Wherein, though they ow to God for their Ordinary; yet such debts [Page 12] retain least hold in their memory. You may see the world here drawn up in a small Epi­tome. This Prison holds as much as the world: all her inhabitants are either good or bad. Here is a good Prisoner; and he makes contemplation his reflection: Divine Service is his Souls So­lace. Nothing can confine him, because he finds nothing fit to entertain him, that Earth may afford him. This apprehension moves him to esteem of a Prison as a place of more free­dom than the world; because he finds fewer in­ducements to decline him from pursuit of his fu­ture liberty, than he found in the world. Whereas that bad fatling or sensual Prisoner is content with any place, that may be-lull his cloudy understanding in a careless sleep. Free­dom and bondage are indifferently equal to his fruitless pilgrimage; being neither beneficial to himself nor his neighbour in the One nor the Other.

Now he who fats himself with true Hearts-ease, feeds his appetite with diviner hopes, than to satisfie it with the Prodigals husks.

VII. The Lean Prisoner.

HE is a living Sceleton; a breathing Ghost; the remainder of a grea­ter work; or the wasted porti­on of his Purveyors provision; or a shadow that has lost his sub­stance. This Iack-a-Lent, an old In-mate in that ancient Fabrick of Iohn a Gant, promiseth at the first sight as if he had put on the habit of some Hermit or Anachorite; having procured such a divorce from his flesh, as he had onely entred into Covenant with his spirit. But all is not Gold that glisters. Sanctity is not wholly confined to an Hermitage, nor Mortification to lean Chops and a pale visage. Spare bodies may have strong appetites. Cambletes was lean, though gluttonous; and Camillus fat, though abstemious. Wood of Kent had sere ribs, but a sore stomack. The lean, with Pharaohs Kine, are apt to devour the fat. But let us judge the best; for if his weak exhausted feature pro­ceed from the defective reversions of a tren­cher, he merits pity, bearing the Characters of his penury in such dying colours in his phys­nomy; but if marrow-eating Envy bring him to this infirmity, he may thank himself for his own malady. Now you shall take this for a constant rule, by how much more this Scare­crow [Page 14] is estranged from the flesh; by so much neer­er is he allyed to the Spirit: you shall scarcely find one in an age to parallel Galba's constitution, to have a quick enlivened brain, and a gross cor­pulent bulk. The leanest body, the activest spi­rit. Nay generally partaking most of that inge­nious humor of Melancholy, he becomes a sin­gular proficient in Machavels policy. Brutus was fatter than Cassius; but less dangerous. But our poor Mammet, as he depends upon the Basket, so he studies no Maxims of State. He proves that Axiom good, ‘It is more miserable to have a stomach without meat, than to have meat without a stomach.’ Now his dogged Jaylor, according to his wonted humor, will tell you, that he fares as well as the rest, but he has a Caninum appetitum, which makes him eat more than he can digest. But believe no such Cheats; he could digest far more than he eats. But having long ago left his flesh; he is now bethinking himself to leave the world. That was a burden he did so little love, as he desired to leave; and now loath any longer to live: next to his sins, he repents himself of nothing more, but that He, who has held all his time for an upright Dealer, should now for want of flesh, become a Worm-cheater.

VIII. The restrained Cavaliere, with his Melancholy Fancy.

IS Iohn for the King in all parts of the Kingdom. He had a brave spirit before he was impounded; and now in his re­straint he has a desire to fight; but Fet­ters instead of Indentures have so bound him to good behaviour, as his appetite is cool­ed; his approved valour must thaw and re­solve to vapor, and content himself with the re­collected honour of being once a Souldier; yet like gumm'd Grogram, he will fret, though he cannot fight; and if his Genius be so happy, con­jure up all the Muses to assist him in his Satyrical humor, and twist him some whip-cords to lash his unconscionable flint-hearted Jaylor; and this he does metally, like a daring Retainer:

[Page 16] Thus this impaled Minotaur domineers within his own Grate; while looking about him, and observing his mean accommodation, he begins to take a more curious survey of his incurious Lodging; which he calls The Captains Cage; and with a Jaylors curse, in this sort he anato­mizeth his despicable case.

It is great pity that his friends and fortunes should so neglect him; or his own meriting parts become such strangers to him, as he can neither finde the one to comfort, nor the other to support him. He concludes therefore, that it is a Mad world; and those that fawn on it, the [Page 17] maddest fools in it. He hears of Sallies, Skir­mishes, and Battels; but what are these to his Bolts? The report of the change of a Prisoner would enliven him far better. But Valour must not be redeemed with Copper. Though his Field-actions deserved Praise, yet must they not pur­chase his person freedome without a Price. And poor restrained Cavalier, he's as far from giving as lending.

He remains dis-roab'd, and dis-arm'd: his one­ly shift then must be Best-be-trust, or he must stay there without Bayl. Others may be enlar­ged by Publique Faith, which he cannot. Well, this is his comfort, though he be restrain'd in body, he has deriv'd from his mind that liberty, as he can fight without Arms, and conquer his Passions in their highest extremity. Let him then dying, be honour'd with an Hearse, whose living valour was never rewarded worse. Nay, should his Body want the honour of a Shrine, yet let his Memory live in the Kalendar of Fame, while we indorse this Inscription upon his neglected Grave.

I. Advice to a Peer.

YOU are a Person of Descent; en­noble it with actions of Desert. There is nothing that detracts more from the splendour of an eminent Family, than to be igno­rant in that which may most and in the liveliest colours pourtray it self noble.

The antient Roman Peerage became not onely distinguishable by their House or Coat, but by one peculiar virtue or other lineally descendent and inherent to that Race: As the Publicolae for Curtesy; the Scaevolae for Sobrie­ty; the Lentuli for Liberality; the Gracci for Gravity; the Appii for Equity; the Coriolani for Majesty; the Aureliani for Piety; and the Marii [Page 22] for Magnanimity. Which ornaments dignify'd them much more than all that blood which ran through their veins.

I have been known to some persons equal to you in rank, and equipage of State, though dif­ferent in their Extraction. For some of these were Born, others Made great. And in these may be found as great a difference in their Humour, as was in the lineal derivation or accidental constitution of their Honour. The one had re­ceiv'd a native freedome, such a genuine and un­affected comportment, as his very Carriage might play the Herauld, and deblazon his Linage. The other equally great, but his demean so levell'd that greatness, as it laid it flat, and mis-shap'd the person for acception of any such state. So as, it had been much better for that surreptitious Mushrom to have held still to his slow, but safe private growth; than by his undeserved rise to expose his pittifull grandeur to a scornfull cen­sure.

Some of these we have known, even in the flowrishingst States, who during their times of privacy, liv'd in fair repute; more lov'd than envy'd, though after swoln high, more envy'd than lov'd: and never less pitied, than when they stood in most need on't.

These, likewise, in their first Entrance to State-Affairs, were accounted Grave and Pru­dential Men; and, in the opinion of those who [Page 23] perused the Draught of their Actions, Passages and Debates, held most fitting to become great, before they came to be great.

This was the opinion which most men had of Galba, whose unexpected Ascent to Honour, had so estrang'd him from his native humour, as he appeared not the same Man in Command, which he shewed himself to be when Commanded: And no doubt, but this change of disposition took it's origen from some sociable infection, by consorting with such, whose Applauses deluded him; and by their palpable Parasitism so mad­ded him, as it made him forgetful of his Rise, and unmindful of his Fall.

Whence I collect, that there is nothing that may improve, or disadvantage Greatness more, (whether it be derived from eminence of Life, or dignity of Place) than the Company which he frequents.

It is an excellent Advice therefore of that Di­vine Moral, in wishing us to make choice of such Companions, ‘in whose Society we have hope, either to better them, or be better'd by them.’ Stains are ever most discernible in pu­rest Cloaths. Neither can Greatness in a Civil State become any subterfuge to Guiltiness: whence it was, that the Spartans held ever the Crime of a Peer most worthy of imparallel'd punishment. And hence it was, that their Great Men were call'd Optimates: Great, because Good. Peers, [Page 24] sayes that antient Sage, as they over-peer others in Greatness, so should they surmount others in Goodness; otherwise they build a Low Story upon an High Foundation.

Now, as Ambition can find you no wings to mount up higher; so be it your care to pre­pare you Arches to make your high-rais'd Stru­ctures appear stronger; let Amity be your best Monopoly, which is procur'd with least cost, and at best hand by debonair Carriage and Affabi­lity. Add to these, Acts of Piety; being sea­sonably perform'd, they will incomparably be­come you. Go to the Forest; it will inform you: The highest Trees give the fairest Um­brage; They stand for Shrouding, not Crushing their Inferiours.

II. Advice to a Pesant.

LEt not the lowness of thy present Condition inslave thee to a Pe­santly resolution. If thou really partake of Man, thou wilt lose nothing of thy dimension. Thou canst not be outwardly so despi­cably low; as thy rightly-aspiring thoughts shall not make thee intellectually high.

Though ^* Codrus had ragg'd Cloaths, he could [Page 25] imbroder them with Royal thoughts. It is on­ly in thee, that has power to ennoble thee, and imbellish thy poverty with a rich and graceful Livery. But, methinks I see thee, like a poor Male-content, throwing thine Eyes abroad; as if thou sentst them forth as spyes, or scouts, to make a discovery of all the Estates of such Per­sons as confine, or neighbour near thee. And, what return do these envious Centinels render thee? In their Relations, I must no less freely than friendly tell thee, how infinitely they abuse thee: These suggest unto thee (and such Counsellors be the worst Consorts) that Nature has played the part of a niggardly and unjust Step-Dame with thee, in drawing in the Breasts of her Bounty towards thee and thy Relations; and so freely laying them open unto others. And is this all those Corrupt Agents can whisper to thee? Let me advise thee, lest thou become depraved before thou converse with Reason. A perswasive Enemy, under pretence of a pal­liated Amity, may make his surprize of thee, and that with small difficulty, when he finds no con­siderable Force to resist his Fury. Admit thou wer't the poorest and contemptiblest wretch that ever breathed; born naked, and born to a naked Fortune: yet, for all this, thou canst not live so naked as thou wer't born. Thou wan­tedst then the strength of those active faculties which thou now enjoyest, appearing then so [Page 26] helpless, as thou wantedst Native Supplies to help thy self. Tell me; what wantest thou in thy self, unless thou want the injoyment of thy self? And, what is it that deprives thee of this essential Liberty? I shall briefly inform thee in that, which may infinitly improve thee. There is a webb in thine eye; which attracts unto it the steam of Envy. This brings thee to expostu­late too arrogantly with thine own thoughts, and to over-value thy self in the Ballance of Na­tive worth; above others whose Descent or Providence has rais'd them to more Wealth. Let not this grieve thee: these may harbour more needy and beggarly thoughts than thy self; unless Discontent have thrown thee be­low thy self.

It is the property of humane felicity, to in­volve those who hugg it, in mazy and inextrica­ble precipices of misery. Forerunning times do not only afford us plenty of Tragical Examples: but if we look homeward, we shall find variety of such deplorable Objects and surviving Pre­sidents of Our own. Such, who have tasted bitterly of this Wormwood-Lecture, and sen­sibly felt how the grandeur of Surreptitious Ho­nour, purchased more by the hand of Fate, than any visible act of Merit, has become destructive to the Safety of the Pursuer, and an inevi­table Snare to the Enjoyer. For, having their wings once dipt in the Birdlime of Ambition; [Page 27] the more they struggled with it, the more they were enwreathed by it. A serious Con­sideration of our own Condition would perfect the Work; and fortifie his Resolves, who in the Eye of the World is most despicable, against all the insults and braves of Fortune: nay, make him such a Compleat Man, as his out­ward contempt may beget in him an inward con­tent. The Way is short and easie; and not only so, but of a dayly presidential occurrency: there is no corner in any Street, nor walk in any Field, that will not afford thee a Receipt; the fault is thine, if thou make not Application for thy Cure. Thou art sick to see others whole: and in opinion most poor, when thou seest an other rich. This is a dangerous Eye-sore, and re­quires a soveraign Eye-salve. To have ones eye evil, because an other's good, is an Emblem of extremest envy. To bring thee then to par­take more of Man than Sathan, for no fury more Satanical; wheresoever thou sojournest, look not upon the state nor style of the mighty; but on the shroud, and skrip of the needy. Not on the Highest, but on the Lowest: and then bal­lance thy condition with his. Peruse this Lect­ure seriously, and it will highly improve thee. Thou hast received more than thou deservedst: and in an ampler manner, and greater measure, than those who were much better. And know thus much, for no knowledge more advantagi­ous, [Page 28] that by getting Mastery over thy self, thou becom'st Master of the whole World: And though thou be but a Little One, yet by redu­cing those Passions in thee, and making them loyal subjects to thy Soveraignty, the Comman­der of the Vniverse, as HE styl'd himself, might not compare with thee. He is no Pesant but a Prince, who can subdue himself, and make him affections his Vassals.

III. Advice to a Landlord.

YOu are a Man in Command: and a petty Prince within your own Mannor. You say to one, Go, and he goeth: and to another, Come, and he cometh. Do not abuse your power. Confine it, lest you be confined by it. It was an excellent Lesson; and if you fol­low it, the practice will redound much to your benefit. Live after that manner with your Inferi­ours, as you would have your Superiours live with you. It would disgust you to be insulted over by another: Observe the same Rule, it will guard you in your height, and secure you from hate.

There is no danger more incident to Great­ness, than to be blown up by the Bladder of their opinionate grandeur; which with a Lethae­an [Page 29] draught, brings them to forget their friends, but themselves most. It is Honours that chang­eth Manners; and in short time thaws those Man­nors which chang'd their Manners, into nothing. Promotion is a perilous bait to an insolent and inconsiderate spirit: who can better lord it, than define it. He no sooner begins to nible, than the Hook fastneth on his Gills, exposing him for a Prey, to what he meant to make his Prey on.

There be two menacing Shelves, which it were fitting Persons of Quality and Command in their Sea-Fare, should be cautious of:

• 1. Light Counsel.
• 2. Loose Company.

Of these I shall advise our young Masters, who, Lapwing-like, be newly crept out of the thin shell of their Guardianship, to carry their eyes about them, and by timely prevention di­vert a surprize. It shall be your fortune some­times to incounter such Counsel, as under shady and plausible pretences, seconded with Ceremo­nial Protests, will go along with you in the quest of your own fancy. These cunning Coy­ducks are so well train'd in the Discipline of Youth, as they have got the Art of Diving, and in the next place of complying with any hu­mour: and to mould themselves in all Forma­lity, to their temper. If Sensual, Sense is the on­ly string they strike on. They will Chalk out a [Page 30] way to this Prodigal Sensualist to compleat al his illimited desires, by satisfying all his Sense in the Epicureal injoyment of one Nights dalli­ance: whereof a debaucht rioting Ranter, with­in the Walls of this City not many years ago left to Posterity a fearful Example: bestowing on his five Senses on one Night, by the perswa­sive suggestion of his vicious Consorts, five hun­dred pounds: Which profuse spending brought him to leap at a Crust before his dying. Thus did this lavish Landslord by his over-eager hunt­ing and hugging of his own Humour, not only detract from his Native Honour, but by his care­less course become the last of his House: Fly­ing out of his Estate, before his wings had rais'd his flight to half his age.

But though Examples be held so moving, a they ever leave the deepest impression: yet Mo­ral Advice operates strongly upon the Affecti­ons, being rendred by a modest Pen, and with­out colour of Self interest; being the only Coloquintida that disrelisheth this Service; ma­king it most suspected, where it should be most imployed.

The safest and securest way then, that you can possibly walk in, is with a circumspect eye to reflect upon your own condition; and in no wise to suffer either the pravity of Counsel, nor corruption of Society to have that influence over you, as to mis-guide you, or make you [Page 31] swell above your self; which many have done, and willingly perished under their own weight: and fatal is that Burden which crusheth down the Bearer. Let me then advise you (for your atten­tion to it may be infinitly useful to you) not to magnifie your self in the Priority of your Place, nor Precedency of Command. Your Tenants be your Oeconomick Servants; play you the part of a discreet and temperate Master. Make them yours by the Cement of Love, not the ex­tremity of Law; for that were the way to crush them, rather than cherish them. They hold on you; uphold them who rely on you. It were very rare to see indigent Farmers to have a thri­ving Landlord. Oppression is such a Ring-worm, as it spreads all over the face of his Estate, and blemisheth the beauty of it. If your desire be to live well and happily, let them live well and peaceably that are ranked under you. That Master either imprudently or parcimoniously manageth his Family, who suffers his Meniey to starve through penury. What is it, or whereto avails it to command Men without hearts? The way to gain their Affections, is to acquit them of Exactions. Affability is the Adamant to attract them; and Bounty the Balm to preserve them. Dead Flies spoil the sweetest Ointments: Breath­less and feeble Offices in their Chief, beget dis­esteem in his Relations.

IV. Advice to a Farmer.

YOu are call'd to a Vocation; and it is such a commendable Station, as no Commonwealth, whereto Monarchies are oftimes reduced, can possibly subsist without it. The Royal Pale, sayes the Italian Proverb, must receive it's nou­rishment from the Milk payl. It is not so low; but that the High may derive, not only an usual Supportance, but an essential Subsistence from it. Gordian, Probus, Timoleon, and Codrus might promise themselves much more composedness of mind, and happy retirement from the various bickerings of this Surging Main, the World, I mean, in their injoyment of privacy, wherein they were educated; than the attainment of an higher Estate, whereto they were afterwards advanced. ‘I would not, said that Tarentine Farmer, change my Cultre for a Sceptre.’ Con­tent is worth a Crown: for many Crowns fall short of Content.

Now in this homely condition, wherein you are stated, it behoves you to walk warily, lest you make your too sollicitous care your great­est enemy. Be it your Principal Design then (seeing every Vocation, be it Publick or Private, is measur'd forth by its own proper line, or [Page 33] dimension) to consider the aim and end of your Calling. Your sole Management consists in Ma­nuring, Maturing and Cultivating your Ground: and accommodating your Grainge, the Seat of your Family, with all Accommodations suitable to a Person of your quality; concluding hand­somely with the Poet:

But in this care of their culture, you have an In­ner Field that must not be forgotten. Your se­curity or neglect in this, would argue your re­missness of Husbandry in all.

You have your Weedhooks, with other neces­sary Instruments, for ridding your ground of all noxious or unprofitable Weeds. Not a Brake, Thorn, nor Bramble, must stand in your way, to hinder the increase of better fruits. Now, Weeds are but the Emblems of Vices; just as the purest grains, or choicest flowers are the represen­tatives of Vertues. Let no Misselto spread near your Vine; no Ivy intwist your Elm; no Dar­nel infect your Field. ^* ‘If Thou wilt Sow in the Soil of mine heart (said that Glory of the Eastern Church) the Seeds of Vertues; need­full [Page 34] it will be, that thou first weed out of mine heart the Thorns of Vices.’

Whence you may gather, that it is your In­ward Culture that conduceth most to your ho­nour: and that good Manners lay the best foun­dation to any Mannor.

But, as all rubbish is to be remov'd, before the Ground-work be lay'd; so in your Cultivage, there be three Infectious Seeds, wherewith you are never to be acquainted, if ever you expect success, or a fair account from your harvest.

It has been the constant custom of some Far­mers, in imitation of that miserable Bithinian; to carry ever about them an Erra Pater, to in­form their Sollicitous Knowledg what years are, by that erring Divination, probably conject­ur'd to prove dear, or cheap. If dear, the Far­mer, to increase his profit, makes it his Design to raise the Market, by digressing from the Course of a Farmer, and playing the part of a Fore­staller, or Ingrosser. But this advantageous Con­tractor of Mammon, many times dis-inherits him of his future hopes in Sion: when his mouth shall be filled with gravel, how empty shall those Barns appear to his infinite thoughts, which were lately so much inlarged? Let it be then your happiness to confine your desires, by making them suitable to your Calling. Covetousness is such a spreading Tetter, as it blemisheth the fa­vour of the Owner. The Postil of Content is [Page 35] an excellent Lesson; not only to improve, but compleat the Work of your Vocation.

There is another Locust which feeds oft on the fruits of your Providence; and seazeth on you when least suspected. You see your Neigh­bours Pastures look more cheerfully; his Corn­fields promise more plentuously; his Vine­yards, Hop-yards, with whatsoever else may ap­pear most commodious, increasing more fruit­fully: and these beget in you Envy. Estrange this from you; let your eye rejoyce in the Welfare of your Neighbour: it will redound richly in Success to your Labour.

Lastly, should Passion transport you, may Architas temper lessen your Anger, who told his lazy Hind, He would have beaten him, if he had not been angry with him.

Be it your care to continue and end the Lease of your Farm for Life, with this constant Rule, To keep a good Conscience in all things, both to­wards God and Man. Acts 24.16.

V. Advice to a simple Countrey Curat.

I Am doubtful now whether I speak to a Mechanick, or a Scholar. If to the former, a good homely Homily is the highest pitch of his Divinity: which, having read Understanding­ly, Distinctly, and Audibly; he rests confident that he has sufficiently perform'd a Curats duty. Small Tithes exact small Pains. These Places be for most part bestow'd on such, who remain desti­tute of all Places: And like some poor maimed Hospitallers, become ravished with Devotion; not so much with it, as to it: being forc'd there­to rather through need than zeal. These, as they know not what metall Latin is made on: so their greatest study is (unless it be the Art of catching of Flyes with Domitian, or some other trifling pursute) to keep their shallow Sconces warm. Numerous Night-caps must secure them: for those Night Mounteroes reach to the highest purchase, unless it be a neighbourly-morning Noggin, which wheels about with much cheer­fulness: drilling along with no less freedom in frivolous impertinences.

For the Curat, as it is his least care to Teach; so is it in the lowest of his Fellows desires to be taught. Doctrine and Vse they never heard of: [Page 37] and for Application, they know not what it means. Though this Countrey-Coridon Cu­rat, never heard of a Peripatetick all his time, he resembles him much in his gradual-motion. For, he walks circularly, sits rarely; fearing, be­like, it might bring him into an acquaintance with a Study; wherewith he has ever held di­stance, as an Enemy to his Health, and an unsea­sonable Guest to his House. Night-watchings, in­tending Studies, are held dangerous; but these are such strangers to him, as he has profest to all his penurious Family, that they shall never trou­ble his sleep: nor procure disquiet to his igno­rant Meneiy. Now, to acquaint the World, that he partakes of a Scribe (for his creeping thoughts fall many paces below a Pharise) his il­literate Girdle is constantly furnish'd with Pen and Inkhorn: which he usually imploys upon occasion (and with a glad welcom entertains he such occasions) of making Last Wills and Testa­ments; whereof, though he retain some anti­quated Presidents, he acts so illegally, and errs so egregiously, as his Pen occasioneth much ex­pence: As many Lines; so many grounds of Sutes. Much like the Spanish Curat; who could set down large Legacies, but find no means, from whence those Legacies should arise. The An­nual, Revenue of these Contingences, though they be but small: his hopes are, they will prove more permanent than Tithes. These have been [Page 38] oft-times questioned, and whether legal or no, stoutly and strongly canvased: But his Instru­ments never, unless by the Testators, and that concern'd not him.

This unscholiastick Curat, as he never took breath from an Academy; So it is vehemently to be suspected, that he was some Mechanick Bun­gler, before he was raised to the Degree of a Reader: which you shall easily discover by the Impression, or colourable Character of his fin­ger; which usually leaves the mark, or badge of his Profession, upon his Homily, or accu­stomed place of his Reading. The Privilege of his Ignorance, being no Companion to late Studies, secures his Person from three notable inconveniences. For, in the first place, it is the least of his fears to lose his sight with too much Reading; or lose his wits with too long plod­ding; or be tax'd of maintaining either Scism or Heresie, by his subtilty in disputing. Besides these three Assurances, he has one advantage more above the Rank of his higher qualified Brethren: for, as his Patron needs not fear any Lapse, so his poor Clark stands in no fear at all of a Competitor: so bare is the Pasture as he's an hungry Pastor that would seek it: Yet were it sitting to help him, by way of Advice; though he need small assistance for gathering his Tithe. The Advice I shall give you, my Shallow Teacher, shall be this: You pretend to no Learn­ing [Page 39] in the Pulpit; do not senselesly vapour it in the Alehouse: For a Puppy to act the part of a Rabby, were a daring fancy, or madding frenzy, which would admit no office in the Sanctu­ary.

If you mean either to save your self or others by your Book; deliver nothing by the Book. Sow no Pillows under your Patrons Elbows. As you are taken for an ungifted and unordinated Man; be it your Gift; while others Preach, but will not say the Lords Prayer; to say the Lords Prayer, though you cannot Preach. Neither must you in this Trace the steps of that Timing Preacher, who to please the Lord of the Mannor, was perswaded to continue his Pater Noster, so long as his Patron continued his ten pound Pen­sion: which was an Action of Price, but no De­votion.

Be it your care to be of the number of those Ignorant Ones, who catch Heaven by their ho­nest Simplicity; rather than those Learned Ones, who purchase Hell by their too subtile Curio­sity.

VI. Advice to a Countrey Iustice.

WE are now to give Advice to One, who, by vertue of his Place, if that vertue be not vitiated, nor the E­minency of his Condition debased, might pretend justly to the Power of a Iudicial Monitor, in giving Advice unto others. But seeing how no Progress incounter­eth with more dangerous By-ways, than the Cir­cuit of Iustice; our design shall be this: First, to propose a Directory in the Course of his Pro­ceeding; and in the second place, to caution him of some perillous Occurrences, which not declined, might ingage his repute to an irrepara­ble contempt, and his judgment to an apparent dis-esteem.

Neither is it our meaning in this Draught to inlarge our Discourse, by defining, or dilating on the Office of Iustice: seeing there be more Sub­jects under that Notion published, and by that Title distinguished, than usefully observed, or practically administred.

His Division was well approv'd, who, in his Itineray held, that the Duty of a Iustice wholly depended on these two particulars;

• 1. Execution of Justice;
• 2. Exhibition of Mercy.

[Page 41]In the former, Consideration is to be had of the Quality of the Offender. Hope of Conver­sion in a young bashful Transgressor, not only begs, but exacts remission: at least a mitigati­on of Punishment, in comparison of an antient Offender, whose habitual misdemeanure has made him a stranger to Hope, and a Decoy to the follies of our Time.

This Distinction requires great Discretion in a Countrey Iustice: Let me then advise him, for his better avoiding of a more dangerous preci­pice, to cloath his countenance sometimes with a cheerful aspect, and shew a mild spirit to a penitent Peccant. Let him act the indulgent Barnabas, rather than a severe Bonarges. No Son of thunder; but of a calm and compassio­nate temper: Especially, where dispositions ap­pear farr apter to be won by mildness, than re­form'd by roughness: For, these menacing and violent Reclaimings, do generally harden, rather than soften an indulgent and ingenuous na­ture.

I have sometimes heard of a fiery-furious Iu­stice, who usually breathed nothing but Whip­ping and Commitment; and from the Authority of his Place, publickly protested before the face of the Countrey, ‘That if he might be de­signed any long time to sit on that Bench, he would so secure the Countrey from Felony, as a Bush should keep a Sheep;’Yet, that very [Page 42] night, was an Ambush lay'd for this severe Iu­stices Horse, and stoln out o'th' Pasture.

Whence we conclude with that Excellent Moral, ‘That Justice mixt with Mercy wins most hearts, and reclaims vice best.’ Draco's Laws being writ in blood, dispatcht more than they reform'd. Yet shall I ever firmly adhere to that Position: ‘That too much indulgence shown to the Evil, redounds ever to the pre­judice of the Good.’

There be three fearful Eye-sores which dar­ken the Light, and blemish the Sight of Iustice. Amity, Enmity, base Lucre, by prostituting Ju­stice as a Mercenary Commodity. This caus'd the Athenians to Emblematize Iustice with Blind Eyes, and Lame Hands. Blind, that She might not distinguish Persons: Lame, that She might not receive Bribes. Whence our Countrey Iu­stice may collect, how derogatory those Noble Assertors held it to be to their Profession, to cor­rupt Justice for Reward; much more to divide Stakes, or admit of Sharing with their Puny Clarks.

Now to compleat him; that he may appear not only a Reader of Statutes at Large, but an approv'd Practiser of what he Professeth, we shall present to him such a President, whose Example, if he imitate to life, he shall need no other advice to direct him, no other line to re­gulate him. His resolution in the course of his [Page 43] Profession was this: ‘I have offred my Sacri­fice on the Altar of Themis: and I mean to per­form what I have already profest. Mine Ear shall be open to the Orphans Cause; mine Hand ready to wipe off the Widdows Tear. Active shall every Faculty be to promote Ju­stice, remove Injuries, and to render every one his due.’ Observe this exactly, and you shall acquit your self, not only a Iustice, but a Patriot of your Countrey.

VII. Advice to an Heir.

HEre am I to bestow my Advice on an Heir; or a Thing that partakes more of Ayr than any other substance: Yet furnish'd with sub­stance more than enough to pur­sue feathers in the Ayr. Give me leave now, after the long-wish'd departure of your Father, to offer to you some Directions, which the heat and height of your vast hopes would never till now afford you time to consider.

Now, in your Entrance into the World, this gorgeous Theatre of humane glory; where, if you please, you may act the part of the Prodi­gal Son, without hope of returning to your Father: I should advise you to take special [Page 44] care of your inward cure. You think all is well with you: and from thence ariseth your great­est danger. A disease insensible, is ever most in­curable. Youth is a malady of it self, till it be purged of those malignant humours which de­prave it: and strengthned with such Soveraign Receipts as may preserve it. But, to no condi­tion is youth more troublesome than to his, who is advanced to fortunes. Every Place to him is a Snare. No object of Beauty, but an at­tractive Lure to Fancy: and an Ingredience to a Frenzy. Various faces beget in him distracted affections. Privacy and Retirement breeds in his troubled thoughts sundry discontents. He understands his Pupillage to be past, and that hee's become his own Guardian: which makes his Cinque Ports so weakly guarded. For Ac­quaintance he needs not hunt after them; the report of his over-swoln fortunes playes the Coy, and brings them in Sholes to his Store­house: And these angle cunningly after his hu­mour. They will oppose him in nothing that may delight him. He must be their Prince so long as his Conduit flowes: the decrease where­of he either mindes not, or disvalues. Thus is this Paphlagonian Partridge no sooner sprung, than catch't in every Springe.

Yet though he has lost himself, we intend not to lose him; so long as there appears the least hope of retriving him, or any probable means [Page 45] of recovering him. Let us then apply a timely cure to this violent distemper.

I shall not wonder much at his boundless ex­pence; it hath been ever observed, that a great Scatterer is the usual Successour of a great Ga­herer. We may imagin that this young Heir had such a Providor, as he left him a Nest well feathred, before he adventur'd to flicker in the World. All was got to his hand; which made him more ready to spend, what never troubled his sleep to get, nor wrought upon his provi­dence to keep. He has heard, perchance, his Father say, that he had taken more delight in Sparing, than ever his Heir could do in Spend­ing. And to make an Experiment of his Fa­thers Observation, he meant to take a Tryal in this Seed-fur of his fortunes. Now, what is all this but a Career of Youth; an Excursion so fa­miliar, as it growes quite expung'd out of the Catalogue of Serious Errors? yet some Receipts must be us'd, lest too much indulgence abuse his youth.

Go to then, Wilde-Oats, we must of necessity deal a little roughly with you: We are to in­joyn you a restraint. And Confinement being so Common a Censure, cannot abridge much the pur­sute of your pleasure. Retain that Maxim, for it holds infallible: ‘One Months liberty de­praves Youth more, than a whole Years disci­pline will reform.’ The benefit of Retirement, [Page 46] and recess from Society, we shall not need to press much, variety of Instances may illustrate it. Grave and Reverend Patriots have we had here within our Pale, whose Native dispositions moulded them Libertines; but by a prudent co­ercion of their straying affections, they became high improvers of their Knowledg; and in the end, such expert State-Pilots, as they were held fitting to sit at the Stern of the State. This it is, at retired hours to read men; not such as the freedom of folly has acquainted you withall; for those were attractive Lures to train you to lightness: and expose your malleable nature to all loosness. The Perusal of those whom I re­commend to your choice, will season your youth so maturely, as folly shall become a stranger to your fancy: All Extravagancy a Reformade in your family. This will make you an Heir of fame, as well as fortune. Hold such an even poize in the management of your Estate, as you may constantly observe this Rule: ‘Ne­ver to spend, where honest frugality bids you spare: nor spare, where reputation bids you spend.’ This shall render you discreetly gene­rous in both.

VIII. Advice to a younger Brother.

NAture hath brought you the later into the World, not to your dis­advantage, but improvement.

He only appears seated above the World, who intermedleth least with the World. He only has the Earth at his command, who sphears his divine thoughts above the command of Earth. Your fortunes have exempted you from too much in­cumbrance with these Inferiours: and conse­quently inlarged your affections to those Supe­riour.

From a Survey of your Extraction, you find your self behind your Brother in nothing but time. And this redounds highly too, to your ad­vantage. For it is observed in Births, as well as Plants, that the later growths render the matu­rest and fullest fruits. You know your self to be a Cyen of the same Stock and Mould, and generally of a more purely-refin'd and rarifi'd Minde: (without vanity or arrogance in re­lation to your quality be it spoken) if the liber­ty of your own disposition, or some other ma­lignant effects, impede not the proficience of those Innate Seeds originally sown in you.

Those Privileges and Indowments given you [Page 48] by Nature, to parallel the Revenues of your Elder Brother, are rich and exquisite. Pregnan­cy of Wit; Promptness in Conceipt; Quick­ness of Apprehension; and Happiness of Me­mory in reteining. These abilities be generally intailed on you, to supply other temporary de­fects, which the Poet handsomly glanced at, say­ing:

What dishonour then were it unto you to de­base, or debauch those Native Parts, so richly imbellished, either by the foyl of worthless Society, or by an ungenerous Education, which is a Second Nature, and usually corrupts the Spring-head with some impure mixture? Our Calidonian Neighbour is to be commended in this (and really in little else;) where, if he be a qualified Person, he will not suffer his younger Sons to nestle long under their Mothers Wings; but sends them abroad to be Educated: and consequently by Language, Discourse and Car­riage so inabled, as their Demean appears graceful, their Society grateful in all their Ad­dresses. Which Improvement, by help of E­ducation (if we may believe ingenuous Bar­clay) raiseth it self to a Story higher in his Coun­trey, than any other Nation in Europe: which [Page 49] he attributes to the apprehensive capacity, ob­servation and confidence of his own Natives, in these words: For Education of their young­re Sons, the Nobility and Gentry of our Coun­trey are praise-worthy; for, in stead of Man­nors at home, it is their care to furnish them with Manners abroad. No convenient cost is de­barred them, nor divertisement admitted them, that may any way obstruct their proficiency. Wherein their Native ingenuity, furthered by an industrious docility, acts so happily; ‘As, what Studies soever they encline to, they pro­sper in them with wonderfull success. None are more patient of Military duties, nor more valiant in Fight, being led on by confident Lea­ders. Nor do the Muses ever appear more beautifull, than when they inspire the breasts of ^* Scots. They are capable also of City-bu­siness, and can fit their industry to any kind, either of Life or Fortune.’

‘But those that travel, or rather wander in a poor fashion, and rely upon no other meanes, than going to the Houses of their Countrey­men, which are grown rich in other Lands; and demand, as it were, the tribute of their Countrey, as they partake not of that gene­rous Rank, so are they most intollerable in their proud beggery.’

But there is nothing wherein they deserve [Page 50] more praise, than in their providing so for the younger, as they shall never need to be pinn'd on the sleeve of the Elder. A great fault in our En­glish Gentry, who usually make their younger Sons their elder Brothers Falconers: or expose them to such desperate fortunes, and withall so incapable of any serviceable imployment, as for want of a better way, they oftimes make the High-Way their Calling. Be it your principal care then, hopeful Sir, (for so must I hold you, till vanity lose my hopes in you) that as by course of Nature through your Minority, there is left to you less, so by your pious industry you would improve it more. This will inlarge the fame of your Discretion, as well as Fortune; And raise a fair Fabrick to a younger House.

IX. Advice to a Gallant.

YOur Profession is Gallantry: and standing on that Punto, you look to be handled more softly and tender­ly. Otherwise, you mean to act the Rantor, though no Hector (for your thoughts have dispenc'd long ago with that Complement of valour) in a phantastick shrug, or an imper­tinent vapour. Yet will not all this avert a con­siderate Pen from coping with your dangling Plume. Neither shall we lay our disgust, so [Page 51] much upon the vanity of your Habit; for that may suit with the levity of our time: as that Epidemical Habit of Vice sufficiently discovered in your fruitless expence of time. Shall we trace your Steps from Morn to Night? we shall find in your Wals and By-wayes a continued Night. The first Idol you adore is your Glass; wherein you court your self in such an accurate mean, as if Narcissus were reviv'd, and presented there, purposely to admire his own shadow. What a tricking and trimming, purfling and poudring, painting and perfuming bestow you on the Case, while you neglect the Instrument! which adul­terate daubing makes Nature appear a stranger to her self. And whereto tends all this? Truth is, I may safely conclude with that serious ^* Cy­nick: ‘If it be done for your self, it is mad­ness: and if for another, it is sin.’ By this time we are to imagin you compleatly accoutred for the visit of your Ladies chamber; which to your honour, flies quickly open, to give the freer ad­mittance to your amorous encounter. Present access promiseth no less prosperous success: which, though it be sometimes in your thoughts to expedite to your advantage; yet falling doubtful in your resolves, whether to suit her for a Wife, or a Mistriss, you grow cooler in your pursuit, than you were in the beginning. This troubles you more, than the recollection [Page 52] of your mis-spent hours. Let me draw near you; what do you pitch upon in this Con­test? Have you weigh'd her? Is she too light for a Wife: and too cunning for a Mistriss? Leave her, before your thoughts be too impres­sively fixed on her: lest she, indeed, play the Mistriss, and become your Commandress. Al­cides was as strong as you; and Omphale made him her slave. So imperious is licentious Love.

But, having taken leave of your Love-sick La­dy (who at least pretends so) with promise of an evening visit; your next Address must be to the Ordinary; where you incounter with more variety of dishes to give relish to your lusci­ous appetite; than any useful discourse to im­prove your knowledg. Nay, should occasion be offer'd, (as there will be some ever who take care to satisfie their Brains as well as their Bel­lies) of helps that way; your Conceipt, by run­ning a wool-gathering after lighter fancies, sends you away as empty as you came. Gaming, Ten­nis, Baloun, Bilyard, with other light dalliance, have so forestall'd your unsetled judgment, as they will give no free admittance to the inter­vene of any Serious Discourse. Neither could any thing more be expected from you; seeing the Principles of those who had the greatest in­fluence on you, and nearest interest in you, could make you no dangerous person for De­signs: nor accurate for matter of Discourse, [Page 53] Your Mercer, Milliner, Taylor, and Perfumer, though they made you a neat Outward Man, they could not with all their Art so compleat you, as to present you Inwardly suitable to an Intelligible Company. It is your Ambition too, frequently to visit the Court; whereto usually you no sooner come, than you are pitifully caught. Court-Baits are cunningly laid: and your youthful eyes cannot discover them, till you are taken in them. Masks, Presentments, Revels, and Reer-Bankets, have been in our calmer times, attractive Lures to gallant Fan­cies: which once set on fire, were not quickly quench't.

There is one thing likewise, that you have been much noted for, in your very gate: ‘None who past by you, could do you a greater in­jury than not to observe you.’ Such was your conceipt, that a gallant Posture could attract no­thing less than the Eye of an Admirer. But this is such an easie error, as humane frailty weav's it's Apology. Your thoughts in this aim at no more than a debonair regreet: And, that Man is well bought, who costs but a Salutation.

As the Cinamon-Tree may be your emblem, whose Bark is better than the Body; so may you expect justly for most honour to be done to that part, which your esteem holds most worthy.

Thus Sir, have you heard your distemper: [Page 54] and the way to cure you, is to wound you. No Sin-salve without sense of Sin. Corrosives must be used, before Cordials be applyed. You are to be launced, before the Cicatrice be closed. Your wilde affections spread so broad, they must be pruned. Your Ancestors have left you a vast Estate: this should not make you a Libertine; but Liberal to those that be indigent. Would you be call'd a Gallant? let your gallant acti­ons proclaim you worthy of that Style. He who goes forth to see a Man aray'd in soft Raiment, disparageth his Judgment, in preferring the Cabinet before the Iewel inclosed in it.

X. Advice to his Mistriss.

YOu have got a gallant Platonick; but in relation to that Title, que­stion may be made whether you or your spruce Servant under­stand it. The Style is lately mint­ed: and strangely rendred. Plato, though he lov'd to go neat, he was too wise, to appear phantastickly garish: Neither was he so effe­minate, as to give free reigns to his affections: though his desires sometimes cloz'd in this peri­od. ‘So he might have his Eyes to read with, his conceipt to apprehend what he read, his memory to retein what he had read and con­ceiv'd, [Page 55] and a Woman with her necessary at­tendance to serve him; whatsoever might be­fall him, should not perplex him.’

Which sociable assistance holds concurrence with that best and most infallible Directory: and may serve for a Rule to every distinct Family or Society. He who saw all things, saw with his Providential Eye, That it was not good for Man to be alone. And therefore gave him a Fellow-helper. This divine ^† Ethnick having attained the happiness (as is generally thought) of perusing the Book of the Old Law; and of conference too with the profoundest Rabbies, might be suf­ficiently informed touching the authority of this Precept: and so captivate his understanding to the Letter of the Law, in honour to the Law-giver.

But, make search through every Coast, Creek and Corner of his Platonick Commonweal; and find me one passage in it, that authorizeth you, my lovely Mistriss, being Married, to entertain any Platonick, or affectionate Confident. Or any such Allowance as Alimony by a discontent­ed Lady petitioned: or any such suit by the Court of the Areopagites, Ephorists, or Roman Conclave admitted. Defects in an Husband were in those times held so excusable to a Wife; that if the Man chanc'd to have a ^* stinking breath, [Page 56] the Woman, out of an honest simplicity, thought every Man had the like. No deformity could estrange their fancy, after Hymen had ty'd the Knot.

Now Madam, how differently play you your Game with these amorous Coyes! Neither is one Favourite sufficient for your various appe­tite. Recollect yourself; and value that most, which becomes a Woman best. Modesty is the choicest Ornament that Beauty can put on. It takes in more Lovers and Admirers in an hour, than wanding eyes can purchase in a year.

‘I would woo thee, if thou didst not pre­vent me, said that witty Suter.’ How many lose themselves by sending forth loose eyes? Had Dinah never stragled, she had kept her fame unblemished. It was an antient custom among the Romans, for the Married Women, upon their first return home, and entrance into their Houses, to put off their Shooes; implying, that they were no more to roam abroad, but keep within doors. Whence it was, that the ^† Snayl became the Huswifes Emblem, carrying her house alwayes about with her.

But it may be, Mistriss, you to whom I di­rect my Discourse, and intend my Advices, have not yet entred into that Honourable State. I will speak to you therefore as to a Maiden-Mistriss, in which rank, howsoever it be with [Page 57] you, you desire to be numbred: and acquaint you with some Caveats, which may highly im­prove you, being duely observed.

Supposing you to be such a Person, as hath a disposing power of your self and Fortunes; be­ware that you make not your own breast a trea­cherous Guardianess in betraying your trust. And herein your Sex oftimes suffers through too much Credulity. Pretenders to love are dan­gerous Orators to taking Eares. If Vows, Pro­tests, or if need require, Decoys Dam's may work the feat, they will not fall a grain short of Perdition, to purchase your indanger'd affecti­on: Whereof, should they once become Ma­sters, They would render you of all others, the unhappiest Mistrisses. No sooner lov'd than loath'd, and in that notion lost for ever.

But admit, Mistriss, you were of another hu­mour: and could stand strongly upon your Guard, in defiance to all Assailants. Yet suffer­ing Death to enter in by the Windows, you may unawares make your self a Prey to a pleasing Pretender, and become his Slave, who, with all his heart would have been your Servant. An handsome feature, I confess, is the Object of Fancy: and this it is, you say, has brought you to thraldom: and a Tyrant to your self. Nay, so farr estrang'd you from what you were, as it has brought you to be a Suter, where you were before a Commander.

[Page 58]By falling into this precipice, you should irre­parably lose your self. For Women to woo Men detracts from the honour of Women. This Task lies properly on the Mans side, as it is wit­tily made good by that antient Arabian Apho­rism: where this Question being ask't, why Man should rather seek the Woman, than Wo­man the Man? It is answered; ‘Because Man has lost more by Woman, than Woman by Man: having lost his Rib, he goes to seek it.’

In one word, he contracted the Excellency of a Woman in a short, but exact Epitome, who set forth his Mistriss in these words: She is Modest, and knows her self. Which President might make you a Compleat Mistriss; and your Servant for­tunate in his Choice.

XI. Advice to him that will take it.

WE are now to open our Mindian gate a little wider, by reason of the Confluence of all sorts that are now to enter. As for those who appear so opinionately wise, as they hold themselves sphear'd above the Tropical Point of Advice; we shall leave them, without exception, to themselves, to negotiate like active Brain­worms in their Vtopian State; where their Con­clusions may pass for Current, and exempt from [Page 59] Censure; being wrapt up in such Cloudy Dictats, as like those Aegyptian Hieroglophicks, drained from Polyarchus Cave, they surpass the under­standing both of the Speaker and Hearer. ^* May Apuleius in his Golden Ass become their Tutor: for our Genius has dis-claim'd the Charge of any such unprofitable Teacher.

We intend therefore our Advice to such only, who, according to the Title of this Essay, will take it.

Neither shall we presume to give our Advice to the Counsellor, whose Profession consists in Advice, (though much might be spoken in it) how fat fees open his Lungs; and discover his Re­ceipts by the Eagre pursuit of his Clients Cause; which Aeschines censur'd highly in Demosthenes Pleadings: arguing an Oxe to be in his mouth when he pleaded for an indigent Client, saying, Lean Fees begot Low Friends. This might al­lude to a pleasant Passage obviously occurring betwixt two eminent Counsellors in our time; no less facetiously answered than tartly objected: The one having receiv'd for his Fee a rich Cha­riot and four gallant Barbs bravely equipag'd, was twitted by his Adversary, saying, Stay Bro­ther, drive not so fast; which the other no less pregnantly than presently retorted in this sort: Give me leave Brother, I ride not Poast. Covertly [Page 60] jerking at his Office, who by his Poast-Masters Place had vastly inhanc'd his Revenues.

But so truly meriting be sundry Persons of Quality in this Profession, as their alacrity in the prosecution of a poor Mans Cause, being grounded on Justness, vindicates their upright­ness from any such imputation. Let us then di­vert our Course from Him, and make our Ap­plication to his Client; who with a potent Purse labours to support an impotent Cause.

Our Advice to this litigious Agent then shall be this: that he be cautious in the fulness of his Fortunes, of such Pursutes. Admit, he proceed, and by the assistance of a Cramm'd Purse, pro­sperously succeed; that Success will prove a Canker: for, by injoying of what which is not his own, he shall ruine that which is his own; and make his Posterity suffer, through his scan­dalous usage of so injurious a Possessor. Many Rich Fathers have by this means made their Heirs die Beggers. A Predecessors care avails no­thing, unless it be seconded by a Superiour Bles­sing.

Our Advice to Persons of Quality, whose Descents and Estates have enstyl'd them eminent in their Countrey, shall cloze in this. Let their Breeding be a Signal Evidence of the Family from whence they came. Education is the best Cognizance of an antient Extraction. None can gather from what we wear, what we are, [Page 61] or what we were. It is our language and de­mean that deblazon us best. Metall upon Metall is false Heraldry: and so be all garish imbellishments to the real Constitution of Gen­try.

We might observe even in these later times, wherein Persons of Rank and Quality are to be compleatly accoutred to the refinement of this Age wherein they live; how much they preju­dice those Native Abilities wherewith they were at first indowed; as likewise that Splendor of an Antient Family, from whence they des­cended; by being left to themselves, and be­stowing the first-fruits of their time, those prime Flowers of their Youth (wherein the choisest and generoust Seeds are not only sown, but spring to their best proficience;) upon de­baucht Societies and unbred Consorts much be­low themselves. Their acquaintance with a Countrey Can, quickned with the pleasing Title of a Brave Lord, or a Gallant young-Master, madds them above measure. Whereas, if they fre­quented Company suitable to their quality, they might find with less expence, and more use­ful experience, what would best become them both in Places of Pleasure and Judicature.

Now to propose them to whom we direct our Polemical Discourse, Places of Improvement; as Vniversities are fittest for laying the founda­tion; So Inns of Courts be the properest for Ci­vil Mean and Deportment.

[Page 62]The one for grounding, the other for matu­ring.

Scholastical Breeding, if it rise no higher, may be accounted Pedantical; but being compleat­ed by Conference, and choice Conversation, it becomes graceful.

There was nothing that could move Demo­critus to more vehement laughter, than to hear the amorous discourse of a Stoical Scholar. His Passion was presented with such unbecom­ing expressions, as if Pallas had been his Venus, or Minerva his Mistriss.

For Travel, it is such an Ornament to Gentry, as it affords in Table-treats a voluble tongue; whereas a want of it begets silence: unless Ig­norance assume to it self so much confidence as to discourse of what it knows not; and conse­quently discover want of Sense, without ap­prehension of shame.

An intelligent Traveller is the Expeditest Mathematician; for he carries his Globe alwayes about him. But some we have, who no sooner lose the sight of their Countrey, than they lose themselves. These learn Forein Fashions, but never how to fashion themselves. They retein the Garb, but not the essential Grace of Tra­vel.

But set these Shools of Learning, Law and Travel aside; if our Gentry have a thought of improving their knowledg at home (for all dis­positions [Page 63] are not for lanching the Depths) our own Metropolis, (having now recovered her long-sequestred Wits) is such an Academy, as it may furnish you with a various Society, stor'd with Wits of all sizes, humours and compo­sures: Not only apt to return pleasing accents to the Ear, but rich notions to the Intellect.

In which Allay, if your discretion make you so happy, as to entertain into your intimacy the best: such I mean, as may rather improve you, than delude you, and by their subtile impo­stures, usually practised by our late Trap'nners, surprize you. From which prudent Election, in relation to Society, you shall reap this benefit: it will so clearly distinguish your quality, and in your better parts so exquisitly accommodate you, that not one hour shall pass by you, which may not highly redound to your advantage. Such Acquaintance will beget in you no Repen­tance. It will appear by your demean, that you have read men; the usefull'st knowledg for a Gentleman. Books are excellent means to steal away hours; but serious Consorts render you the best Illustrations on them: These return Spectacles for all Sights. Representing more true Lights than all our New Lights can render. ^* For these effuse no deceiving, but an intellective splendor, operating strongly upon the faculties [Page 64] of the Soul; and dilating their effects, not onely to the direction of themselves, but instruction of others.

There is an observable Error in this Nation, (which we could wish were a stranger to it;) Many of our Pen-feathred youngsters be no sooner mounted to their Fathers Saddles, than they become eagre hunters after Good-fellows: and to ingratiate them the more, will make them rather their Pensioners, than lose the benefit of their unnecessary Acquaintance. Their only care is, with the Cumin of their inconsiderate bounty to lure those Wild Pigeons to their Coat. Too fruitless a Charge to bestow on such a Covy.

It were easie to make a Dish of Meat worth a groat, at a crowns expence; or to use that strict Laconian adage: ‘It is an hard purchase to gain a Friend with the Sale of a Farm.’ We shall conclude him then to have forfeited his Judg­ment, who in his pursute of Friends or Compani­ons, entertains such a Choice as may admit a Change.

A Bushell of Salt antiently was held a Measure little enough to Season Acquaintance: It were too rash confidence then to make a Companion at first sight his Secretary, or Bosome Friend. This hath been the ruine of many. Persons of all conditions may experimentally instance it.

[Page 65]Now for those who are cry'd up for the Wits of the time; we would advise them to be well known to those with whom they converse face­tiously, or vent their Conceipts.

Of all Creatures, none more dangerous than Satyrs: who, while they brush great Mens Cloaths, they fearfully trench upon their own safety, by exposing their freedom to the various construction of the Company. Some there be, who would rather lose their Friend than their Iest. But such Conceipts cost too dear. These had need of many Friends, or their Wits will protest against them, and return them Bankrupts. It is the infelicity of some petulant wits to bring their Owners Heads under the Hearers Girdle, by their indiscreet Flashes. To be merry and wise is a good Rule; but many through intem­perance, or too much confidence, usually trans­gress that bound.

That Sage Precept deserves your remem­brance: ‘Be Stoical to none; affable to all; but open thy breast to few.’

By which means, he may sleep without fear, and awake without affront.

Of such we may justly conclude, that they have attained to an happy Period in their Pro­gress; who can look upon the World with con­tempt, and entertain their Condition with con­tent. These can fix the eye of their Contem­plation with a cheerful aspect upon Heaven, as [Page 66] their only Land-mark. Whatsoever is below them, they hold them such contemptible Ob­jects, as they deserve not their Enterview. These know how to put in practice that excel­lent Advice, in shutting up the Windows, that their House may Shine. Their Eyes, those Win­dows of the Body must not be imployed in any Office that may unbecome them. Nor any other Sense in that which may detract from her honour that commands them. Such a Regiment cannot chuse but atchieve brave acts, wheresoever inga­ged.

It is an infallible Maxim, that he who lives so as every day were his last, must necessarily take his leave of the World without a Sigh: and entertain the Summons of Death with a Smile.

The Consequence holds, that he who sets his rest upon the Place of true rest, neglects not his Work, but makes Spiritual Labour his Con­voy to eternal rest: Such a Work-man is no Idler in the Market-place; but at the first hour of the day goes down into the Vineyard: and having cheerfully performed the Course of his imployment, he makes the Evening his dayes Accomptant: closing his nightly return with this useful question: O my Soul, what hast thou done this day? A mind so Devotionally exerci­sed, makes the Natural Sun his Spiritual Em­blem: The Sun, as it shines brighter at its set­ting, than its rising; so the splendor of his ex­emplary [Page 67] Life appears Clearest at his End­ing.

There is nothing more inglorious to Age, than for an Old Man to have no other Argu­ment to prove his years, than his Gray Hairs. Like an Almanack out of date; a neglected Address, or a defac'd Record, he appears in every Conference, or Passage of Consequence. Though his many mis-spent years have made him an Elder in the Ward where he lives: and the Revestry admit him a voice in the Election of a Lecturer; others, less old, but more ripe, sup­ply the number; while he is left to himself with leasure enough to wipe his reverend beard, and content his weak sense with the place of a Cipher.

These would make rare Elders for deciding Doctrinal Controversies: or Stating Cases of Con­science. What numerous emergent Errors have we known to have been broached from the Prin­ciples of such pretending Rabbies; whose reve­rend esteem lay only in the Colour of their Hair? Such advantage had Time given them, as their years authorized them with an ignorant confidence to set up, what the succession of ma­ny years could not pull down.

Hence it was, that one of our Modern States-Men, from his long Experience in sitting at the Stern of the State, wisely concluded, ‘That he never knew any Constitutions all his time more [Page 68] inconsistent with a Politick State, than those which came from a Gray Head, and a Green Brain. A face of gravity made them appear what they were not; but a clear judgment would present them in their own shape, and discover to the World what they were.’

In Arguments of Discourse, the recollection of our own thoughts, assisted by the observa­tion of others, is the only way to gain Wis­dom.

He that loves to hear himself talk, seldom im­proves his Knowledg.

Many by too much talk have lost themselves; few or none by silence.

Harpocrates with his finger on his Mouth was held the Wisest Sign in Athens.

That Spartan Sage seriously observing how one sufficiently ripe in years, spake like a young Man: ‘I should have adjudged you (said he) worthy to sit in the Highest Place, till I heard you speak; but your tongue has dishonou­red your age: come then down, and give that young Man room, whose downy Chin pre­tends more to age in his express, than you to Sense, with all your aged Experience.’ It is the tongue that either betrays, or improves the Iudgment. A Member better ordinated for Ser­vice than Command.

Our Advice should now descend from the Laity to the Clergy; which admits sundry Di­visions. [Page 69] But those many Scisms and Divisions among themselves, may save me that labour. Be it their Task to Preach both by Word and Work: that, what their tongue speaks to others, their exemplary life may Preach to themselves and others. A Lamp stored with such oyl, will burn with pure Zeal. One Accent breathing on the heart, is worth a thousand sounding in the Ear.

1. A Countrey Commissioner

IS an Instrument pretending to Peace; and by his long imployment might effectually advance it, if his twi­light Judgment could either con­trive the way of composing it, or some self-interest, or partial respect (dangerous Eye-sores in all Commissional Courses,) did not [Page 71] obstruct his Proceedings in this Path-way to Peace. Now there be two Instrumentals of this Profession, who run descant on different keys. The one would seem to know more than they do: the other to know more than they seem. It would make a Stoick laugh, were his thoughts never so clowdy, nor confin'd to an unsocia­ble privacy, to observe the Posture of that seem­ing-wise Commissioner; how demurely he stroaks his reverend Beard: and with a grave politick nod, shaking his shallow nodle, (having heard an Intergotory, which he understands not) most authentically concludes: — There lies the knot of the business. But it partakes too much Gordian for his numm'd fingers to unty. Nor skills it much how the Commission runs; who bol­der than blind Baiard? His confidence will boul­ster out his Non-sense, and make him appear to the judgment of those, whose brains were pounded in the same Morter with his own; and whose conceipts might be found by a measu­ring cast of equal size, a Sage Sophy.

His return home informs the whole Family with his Commissionary Carriage; how he can­vas'd the Cause; puzled the Witnesses, and made black appear white to the amazement of his Hearers. So highly transported is this Coun­trey Dottrell with his wants, as he holds them for unparallel'd Parts.

It was my fortune, in my younger years, to be [Page 72] known to one of these Shallops; a Person of a strong-pretending design, but weak dispatch. There was nothing that contented him more, than to have an Oar in every ones Boat: his Sickle in anothers Harvest. As for Commissio­nary Employments, though poorly vers'd in such addresses, this officious Pragmatist would ever make one, if either his Personal Application to the Parties interessed, or the free offer of him­self would procure his admittance. It hapned one day, that this obsequious Agent, who usual­ly bestowed many dayes to small purpose, was nominated a Commissioner in a business of Con­sequence, and distance to the place of his dwel­ling: which quickned his morning awake for his more seasonable attendance. Yet, in his way, resolving to call on his Neighbour, a down-right Boor, and never acquainted with such imploy­ments; Are you asleep, said this wise Arbitrator, that all things are so husht and quiet about you? Yes truly, answered his Neighbour, I am taking my morning nap, for I have little else to do. O well are you, reply'd this Sir Politick Pol, that God has lent you so small a Talent of understand­ing; you may take your rest, while my abilities will not suffer me to sleep: One or other is ever re­lying on my head-piece!

Now tell me, was not this a brave Arbitrary Squib to compose differences? And should ma­ny of these wise Pretenders pass the Inquisition, [Page 73] we might find them falling into the same rank or file: onely deluded with Self-opinion, and con­sequently in the Ballance of Iudgment, where­in all human actions are equally poized, deser­vingly sleighted and disvalued. But such sim­ple arrogance is ever most noxious to it self. He who would be thought wiser than he is, and to have those Parts which he has not, lesseneth him­self in the weak discovery of those he has. Iu­gurth had a great advantage of Hyemsal. He had the happiness to speak little, and do much: whereas the other had the property to speak much, and do little. That Client gave good ad­vice to his Advocate, in telling him roundly, ‘If he stood for him, let him speak materially, or not at all.’ Those who over-doe the work, generally in affairs of this nature, pull down more than they set up: and by their Superstru­cture give their Adversary ground for erecting a Story higher than he intended: or upon the weak­ness of such a foundation he could have proba­bly expected.

But, such as these are fearless Bugbears in Com­missionary Causes; they love to hear themselves talk; which gives occasion to their solid Oppo­nent, to use those words with an acute, but com­posed passion, which Aeschines return'd to Pithi­as: ‘Good God, when will this long-lung'd wittall leave his babling!’ The only office of these self-wits consists in a fruitless appearance to [Page 74] their behalf, for whom they are nam'd; but much to the Parties prejudice for whom he ap­pears: being no less ignorant than arrogant in returning what he should, or discussing what he ought to his benefit; for whom, to his honour, he sat like a Cypher, without advancing his cause for whom he stood.

Good Causes stand in need of wiser Com­missioners, or they will in a Terme or two dwindle to nothing; and shape the Plaintiffs Suit to the neglected habit of a Forma Pauperis: and so leave him like Plato's naked Man, with two feet, but without feathers. A pitifull pittiless Spectacle in a Court of Justice!

We are now to return you the character of a Spirit more genuine, and of a stronger temper. The last we presented on the Stage, spake much, but knew little; but you shall hear one now, who, though he speak little, knows much. Em­pty Vessels send forth ever the shrillest sound: whereas deepest Foords stream a-long with the calmest course. And experimentally shall that Man find this close Politician, who takes occasi­on to imploy him, no less full of danger, than he is of depth. He has a self-interest in every Commission: and can angle cunningly in trou­bled waters: and to display him in his native colour, Reward holds such influence over him, as it has power to over-byas him; by tracing the steps of Coelius, who pleaded best with his left hand.

[Page 75]Such State-Cheats, though covertly carryed, be frequently practised. Hope of profit, said that divine Cynick, beats strongly upon the pulse of honesty. His previous intentions may be clear and integrious; his resolves for whom he deals, rightly byassed, and equally ballanced; but some friendly advertisements, inclosed in gilt paper, quite turn the hinges, and drive those honest resolves upon nibling at a dangerous at­tractive bait, soon out of doors.

It was sometimes disputable, whether it were better for one, in a Case of Judicature, to make choice of an Agent, who would betray his Cause through simplicity; or of such an one, who would make a prey of him by his subtilty. Neither of them is good; but the determina­tion of this intricate question closeth in this: whether it were easier to digest (though they be both meats of hard concoction) suffering under an apparent foe, or a pretending friend? Thus have we found you two Commissioners, both appearing, but neither worthy approving. For, as the one might by his ingenuous simplici­ty betray your Cause, wherein he is interessed: So might the other, by his partial-gilt subtilty, expose your credulity to prejudice, where you least suspected. To decline these precipices, no course clearer nor safer, than to make choice of such, whom your own assiduate experience, or repute of the Countrey wherein they live, in­form [Page 76] you sufficiently, both of their honesty and knowledg. And distinct notions you may ea­sily find in these, whether they in that qualifica­tion, merit your approvement or no. For, if ho­nest, they will return you that Answer which that antient Sage gave to his Son-in-Law, in a case of like nature: ‘I am yours in just Causes onely.’ Neither will these Commissioners (pre­supposing them honest) make it their onely work to sit upon Examination of Witnesses (though of principal concern to their office) but to address Proposals of Peace; and pursue those Motions with that discreet moderation, as it may produce effect, unless the spirit of con­tention, usually reigning in litigious Plaintiffs, obstruct it: It is a grounded Maxim, that the best Commissioners be the effectuall'st Peace­makers. They erect a Chancery within themselves, and conscientiously compose the quarrel.

As for Knowledg, being the second requisite; Practical Experience is the best Directory; chalking him forth the way wherein he is to walk; which accompanied with Integrity, com­pleats the Work.

2. A State-Competitor

IS an High-Flyer; hatcht in an airly Ay­ry; apt to mount before he find wings; bred to the disquiet of all, but most to himself. For the Triumphs of Mil­tiades will not suffer Themistocles to sleep. He is all quick-silver, and in his career, of such a per­petual motion; as Phaeton-like, he gallops over the twelve Signs in a moment: but resolves his ayry grandure like a Squib, with the present­ment of a Flash, to nothing. ^*Having left the Countrey, breathing too foggy vapours for his queazy stomack, his resolves hold for traversing the Court: where he takes notice of an early State-Favourite, who by his timely rising had out­run him: but he means, if his designs fail him not, to win ground on him, and out-strip him too; by fishing so artfully with his golden hook, and strength of assisting Relations.

He has so much wit as to humour the Times: and to attempt with a conscientious indifferen­cy whatsoever may advance his own interest. But for as much as one must creep before he go; he treads the Pallace-yard at first gingerly; talks demurely: and in every Posture composeth his counterfeat garb to that gravity, as if Ambiti­on [Page 78] were his Alien, and Stoicall Civility his Dar­ling. But, finding the way of being great is to become popular; he makes it his onely work to ingratiate himself first with the Pedantry: and by their applause, easily acquir'd by a gracefull aspect, and arguments of bounty, to mount one story higher. Hot Embers cannot lye long ra­ked up in ashes, some sparks will break forth, and discover their confined heat. Suppose him then entring the Lobby; where he acquaints him­self with some necessary Appendices to the Court; laying his Project, how by their means he may raise his infant hopes to their intended height. And it falls out seasonably; for by their con­duct he makes way for his future preferment.

In the mean time he moves slowly. Weak wings impt with such slender helps cannot promise any speedy nor successive flight: He must not then rest here. Neither can he expect by his early rise to find any firm footing. He has read of Mazarella's fate; and by his example, loth would he be, that his fore-noon honour should be crush'd down by an after-noon fall: or suffer his infant-Glory to set in a Cloud. But his attentive Ears open to all reports that may any way conduce to his advantage; no less op­portunately than fortunately hear of a late-mounted Lord, highly advanced, but meanly gifted. One, who by his immerited growth, having over-swoln himself, makes an Idol of [Page 79] his Titular Honour. Yet this self-conceipted Pharisee stands in needs of a Scribe, to supply his defects; having nothing to subscribe him great, saving an illegible mould of dis-joynted Let­ters; which presents a name above the appre­hension of a Reader. This Place, though far below his aims, this fresh-water Courtier ac­cepts: and within few Months, by his dex­trous Pen, and the Grace his insinuation has got, he becomes too big for his Place: and what might be wondred at, Competitor to his Master: whom he oft-times out-strips, leaving him as bare in esteem as he was of merit. But, no great Com­petition can be observed in this: we are to climb higher; and in our ascent make choice of such Subjects, who appear equally seated in a sphear of Greatness; but jealous of one anothers ri­sing; contrive wayes of undermining them; though the issue tend to their own ruine. And this we derive from the Main Wheels, and Principal Movers in State-affairs: wherein eve­ry one sitting near the Stern, transported with the height of ambition, and immoderate heat of preeminent desires, has made a private contract by way of Covenant, with his endeered thoughts, that he will either appear absolute in his commands, or fall under his own bur­den.

And to accomplish his ends (which many times bring him to an untimely end) he neglects [Page 80] no opportunity, nor declines any difficulty. Re­lations in these ambitious contests are wholly dis-valued. The neerer they be in blood, these Competitions generally procure them more hate; which seldom ends without blood. Of so high an estimate is the purchase of Honour, as it challengeth a Prerogative above affinity, amity, or what may seem dearest to Humane Society▪ Caesar will admit of no Competitor. Two Suns cannot shine in one Sphear: nor two Eagles sharers in one Prey. It is above belief to ob­serve how Rivolets of blood, streaming from one vein, should divide their course into seve­rall Chanels: and by their impetuous motion, make their influences appear so brackish and dis­tastfull one to another. Cast your eye aside, and you shall see what a coil this State-negotiator makes, to make himself envy'd! Sleep is a stran­ger to his eyes, and Rest an alien to those fruitless Projects of his active Brain. He suspects a Foe, though he see none; but truth is, he has rea­son to be jealous of none more than himself. For, Ambition hath been held the onely self-betrayer of her Master. Any one might justly wonder, how Man, indu'd with reason, and highly inabled by conference, should suffer him­self to be so deluded with the shadow of Great­ness: which his Experience sufficiently informs him, to be the most incentive fuell for kindling Enmity, and the greatest disturber of Bosom­quiet [Page 81] and security. For, how should those sa­cred Palms of Peace flourish, where this Endive is planted? Neither is it the fortune of these rising Gourds, by their premature growth, to be­get Foes; but to make Foes of their best Friends, and that deservingly: for the acquisition of those immerited Honours usually so deprave their manners, and disorder their affections, as their grandure makes them forgetful of them­selves; and with a slight aspect to pass by their antient Acquaintance. Philotas, when his Friend, who might have formerly challenged an inte­rest in him, preferred his Sute unto him, hoping by his powerful mediation to prevail in his ad­dress, he neglectfully rejected him; telling him, "He knew him not: But after that this Petitioner had return'd him sundry signal evi­dences of their former familiarity; ‘O, said that high-swoln Favourite, I must confess, I did sometimes know you; but I am not the same I was then. Too much familiarity with Persons of your quality might make me lose my self: and consequently eclipse that splen­dor which the Princes favour has bestow'd on me.’

This it was, which made that Divine Mora­list to define Honour an Imposture, because apt to delude the Owner; by moulding numerous fancies in his brain: and by too eagre a pur­sute, and acquiesce to his humour; which in [Page 82] short time exposeth his distemper'd Fancy to that incurable Frenzy, as he becomes his own Idolater: He holds himself secure, when most at distance with security: holding that most dear unto him, which proves his assiduate enemy. Thus in this State-Contest, it is their onely la­bour to shoulder out one another; where the stronger wins the Prize; whiles his disheartned Competitor sinks down with dishonour: So as he may properly use those words, which Eumenes did to Demetrius: ‘I had been equal to thee in Honour, if thy Shoulders had not weighed heavier.’ But what advantage gains the Con­queror by this Master-prize? A disguise onely, and an undermining danger.

His Disguise puts on a vizard of State gallan­try, shrouded with converse, and acquaintance from strangers; wherein he grows an infinite Proficient, both for Dress and Language: Ha­ving got the Spanish Shrug, and the French Cringe, with all those Courtly Garbs and Po­stures that may most estrange him from the knowledg of his Familiars. His quaint Com­plement too has so well school'd him, as he can cross Proverbs, and tell the World that Interest can lie: For, his aims, in advantage to his own Interest, have altered his shape, by moulding him much like Tiberius, walking in the Clouds, and dissembling a guize unknown to his best Friends; seeming in appearance least, what he is [Page 83] is really most. But it fares with him in his unex­pected fall, as it doth usually with all State-Fa­vourites in their decline. For, as they slighted their Friends in their rising; they find none to commiserate their condition at their setting. By shewing to their Inferiours a scornful contempt in their Height; they became contemptible to their deserted Acquaintance in their Ebb. His allusion was not improper, who resembled State-Competitors to Court Combatants. Whence it was, that that Heavenly Dog (for so Laertius calls him) being askt what was done at Court? told them, ‘That they were tripping up one anothers heels.’

Now for that undermining danger, whereto (as we formerly toucht) they are most incident; they appear commonly nearest to it, when they hold themselves most distanc'd from it. Though Damocles Sword hang over his head by an hair; the sweetness of Soveraignty deludes him with the britle promise of Security.

This rising Sprig sprung up to a surreptiti­ous growth, though numerous Competitors, like cunning Pioners, labour to undermine him; and his timing followers dayly fall from him (for such Rats will not stay long, when they see their House fall to decay) but in quest of better Masters swim with the stream, pursuing the current of that time, which may afford to their hungry hopes most advantage. Yet this secure [Page 84] Favourite, I say, is so belulled with the Lethar­gy of his expiring honour, as he takes no notice of these previous signals, nor divining Notions of his ensuing ruine: but conceipts that he has clipt the wings of Fortune, and that she has no power to fly from him. Mean while, his fea­thers fall from him; finding by degrees that his seam-rent Estate falls neither under any Predica­ment of quantity; nor his declining Honour un­der any Predicament of quality: but both shrunk down into a desperate precipice, without reme­dy, or hope of recovery.

And so good night Competitor. The Court­gate is shut, and no hope of admittance.