THE Batchelor's Directory: BEING A TREATISE OF THE Excellence of Marriage.

Of its necessity, and the means to live happy in it.

Together with an Apology for the Women against the Calumnies of the Men.

Honorabile connubium in omnibus, & torus immaculatus: Fornicatores enim & Adultores judicabit Deus.

Heb. c. 13. v. 4.

The Second Edition.

LONDON: Printed for Richard Cumberland, at the Angel in St. Paul's Church-yard, 1696.

To his much esteemd Friend John Meres, Esq;

SIR,

TO prefix your Name to a piece of [...]o [...] worth, may argue somewhat of presumption; but to be intirely wanting in those respects, so much your due, is a more considerable fault.

It was not without relu­ctance, that I consented to put this little Treatise under your safe-guard: Not that I [Page]question'd the influence of your Name; but least the slender value of the thing should lead a contempt from you to the Author.

But then I consider'd, that although you would certain­ly discover the meanness of this attempt, yet you were endued with a sufficient share of goodness, not to miscon­ceive the honest end; The first opposed my growing in­clination to make you the Pa­tron hereof: the last advised me to go on, as being incon­sistent with censure, or dis­pleasure.

You are ingaged, Sir, in an especial manner to the [Page]Office of pardoning, as well upon the account of your di­stance from our inferiour Orb, as in regard to the fair endowments of your mind: both implying good­ness in a conspicuous de­gree.

As to my Author, I durst venture to assert, that he has manag'd himself like a man of Honesty and Parts, that his arguments are as material and persuasive as the Subject will bear, and if any thing renders him of less value, 'tis the ill performance of the Translation, which, I believe, is made worse by the mistakes of the Printer.

I can easily foresee, that it will be condemned by the li­centious part of the world, but since the wiser men must infallibly commend the de­sign, I am little concerned at what the Fop shall declare against it.

It has been always matter of great wonder to me, that men should be so generally incensed at and averse to Marriage, when those men without it had been the most disgracefull part of Human­kind: the very name of Ba­stard implying Contumely and Disorder.

But, Sir, least I should be prolix, give me leave to as­sure [Page]you, that this little Book is presented to you with all imaginable respect by,

Sir,
Your most humble Servant, &c.

ADVERTISEMENT.

I Design not, Reader, to tell you all the advantages of this Book. You will sufficiently discover them, when you read it. I hope you will not find it altogether unworthy of your esteem, if you judge of it without prejudice. You will learn in it the art of fearing God, and to be an honest Man; to avoid the irregula­rities of a licentious life, and to par­ctice the vertues of a Christian life. This is its general aim. And what follows its particular. It endeavours to inspire you with the love of Mar­riage. It makes appear that there is nothing in the World more excellent, or more necessary, than this holy So­ciety. It opens to you an easie way to enter it advantagiously. It fur­nishes you with means to make it [Page]an eternal Spring of lawful pleasures and to partake of them with so much the more satisfaction, as they are pure and innocent. In a word i [...] affords you precepts to speak well and to make a true judgment of Ladies; that is to say, what you naturally love the most, and whom ever the Laws of civility oblige you to re­spect.

You will without doubt applaud the usefulness of the design, but the difficulty of executing it well re­mains. I promise you nothing on its part, but what it gives you, if you will receive it. Happy, if its method pleases you, and you approve of the Stile! I have endeavour'd to make my Subject as agreeable as I could, and as little tiresome. To this purpose I have even seasoned my discourse with divers sentences of ancient Authors of the World and Church, Holy and Prophane. Never was matter more susceptible [Page]of this mixture, than that of Mar­riage; and it is a Liberty which ought to be pardoned me in this place, though it were not allowable in any thing else. The necessity I was under oftentimes to relate pas­sages, which might in our language offend tender ears, is one of the forcible reasons that has the most obliged me to imploy more than one to express my thought. But I can assure those, who are unacquainted with it, that it renders not the reading of this Book the more un­grateful. One may pass beyond with­out interruption. The connexion and the sense will not cease to appear.

I shall mark one thing more. You will, perhaps, be surprised to see that I apply to Batchelors alone the necessity of Marrying, as if it referred only to them, and that Maids had no share in it. But you will apprehend, I assure my self, without my telling you, so that in [Page]speaking to one, I likewise designe to speak to the rest. The two Sex­es are under an equal necessity [...] Marriage. It is thorefore to both that my exhortations are directed I confess notwithstanding that the less agree to the Maids, than Batchelors. Besides that they are much more docile than these, and th [...] they readily give themselves up to the direction of their Parents, one [...] my Poets tells me very agreebly that when they are of an Age [...] Marry, their very silence demand a Husband.

Filia Nubilis, etsi plane nil lo­quatur,
Ipso tamen silentio plurimum d [...] ­se praedicat.

In effect, it is certain that th [...] a Maid never asks to Marry, be­cause she has modesty, yet there [...] nothing she desires with greater pas­sion. [Page]Her heart in this respect of­ten contradicting her mouth. She says, I will not, when she is ready sometimes to dye with desire. It must be confess'd likewise that it is her true state, and that there is no better party for her to take. A sin­gle Woman makes a sad Figure in the world. She wants the shadow of a Husband to protect her from Misery, Seduction, or Calumny. I have two things more to let you know. If you find some repetitions in this work, remember that the parts which compose it, are so connected to one another that it was a hard matter to avoid them absolutely. Besides if there are some, they are in other [...]erms, and diversified in a manner that will render them agreeable to you, instead of being incommodious. Not to tell you that these would be even worthy of your support, consi­dering the importance of the Sub­ject. Can one say too often, says [Page] Seneca what can never be know enough? Nunquam ni­mis dicitur, Sen. Ep. [...] quod nun­quam satis dicitur. The other thing is, that if this Apolog of Marriage occasions you any plea­sure, you must be wholly oblig'd the design I had of persuading [...] necessity of it to a Person of Not [...] whose Merit and Family I extream­ly honour. This particular victor [...] is the single end I proposed to my­self in the composition of this piec [...] And how much reason should I ha [...] to bless it, if it was capable of pro­ducing this fruit? What better re­ward could I desire for the pains [...] has cost me?

Some persons nevertheless have been willing to persuade me, that [...] would be unjust to confine its who [...] effect to the conquest of one sing [...] Man, and that it might, by running through the world, gain several o­thers to the Empire of Hyme [...] [Page]Thus I was subdued to the solicita­tions of making it publick, which have been made to me from divers places. God grant that I may have no occasion to repent of it, nor to ap­ply to my Book what Ovid says with lamentation of some of his Wri­tings.

Hei mihi, quam paucos hac mea dicta movent!

Be indulgent, Reader, and forget not the saying of the ancient Sages, That 'tis easy to find fault but hard to excell.

Of the Parts of this BOOK.

PART. I.
Of the Excellence of Marriage. pag 8
PART. II.
Of the Infamy of Incontinehce. pag. 60
PART. III.
Of the Motives that might reasona­nably induce men to Marry. pag. 83
PART. IV.
Where those objections which are made against Marriage, and the false reasons that are alledged to res [...] unmarried, are answered. pag. 163
PART. V.
Of the means to Marry well, and to live happy in Marriage. pag. 215

Of the Excellency of Marriage; of its Necessity, and the means to live happily in it.
Together with the Apology of the Women against the Calumnies of the Men.

THERE never was a bolder under­taking, than that of this Book. Its design is to establish an opinion which all Men oppose, and to disengage them from an Error which is almost as an­tient as the World. We say every day a thou­sand injurious things of Marriage. One [...]ould have it to be the Sepulchre of Plea­ures. Another looks upon it as a severe Bon­lage. Even those, who speak of it with most moderation, cease not to term it a necessa­ry Evil. Behold the error I design to con­ [...]ute. On the otherside that Marriage is an excellent thing, a happy condition, and a So­ [...]ety full of sweetness, is what exceeds belief. [...] is even ridiculed: and it is notwithstand­ing [Page 2]the truth, which I propose my self to per­suade. Judge, Sir, what courage is necessa­ry, and what strong assurance one must have in the justice of his Cause, to be able to prevent a repulse at the entrance of an attempt, th [...] is apparently so difficult. Is it not here [...] may truly affirm, Hoc opus, hic lab [...] est?

You know that in effect nothing is more c [...] ­ed down in the World, than Marriage. P [...] ­ple frame to themselves Ideas of it, wh [...] cause an abhorrence. I confess likewise, t [...] it has long served for a subject of detract [...] Where is he that has no merry Tale to [...] late of it; or to speak better, that has no reason to alledge in order to discourage oth [...] and to remove himself from it? How accepta­ble is this Dilemma of the Philosopher [...] those persons: ‘If thou Marryest; I sup [...] thy Wife to be either handsome or [...] If she be ugly, thou canst never love [...] if handsome thou wilt be jealous of [...] Whether one or t'other, can one find [...] a severer punishment for thee?’ How ag [...] ­able do they find this precept of anoth [...] ‘When thou art young, say that it is too [...] to Marry: when old, that it is too [...] How this comparison of Theodectes pl [...] them! ‘Marriage and Old-Age have [...] [Page 3]Resemblance, to wit, that Men equally desire to reach both, where they are no sooner arrived, but they begin to re­pent.’ In a word, with how much satis­faction do they hear that horrid invective of the most unjust of all men! ‘One pas­ses but two good days with a Wife, the Wedding-day, and the day of her Death. She is also good but in two places, Vel in Thalamo, vel in Tu­mulo, either in her Bridal Bed, or in her Grave.’

As little equity as one may have, can one observe (without passion) such vil [...]fying of that fair half of Human-kind, to whom it seems as if Nature had given all her Graces in possession? The very Gods of our Metamorphosis have been affected with them. They have often preferred the plea­sure of being captivated under the Empire of our Mortal Goddess's, before all the glory of Olympus. Is it not surprizing after this, that Men should affirm so much ill of them, and that they should oppress their innocence with their injuries? The contempt which they make of them ought to appear to us so much the more extraordinary, as they cannot without them enjoy any satis­faction in life. They might in some mea­sure [Page 4]be able to make a shift without us, bu [...] we could never excuse our selves from them If one believes Herodotus, there was [...] Kingdom of Women without Men, The Ama­sons. but there never was se [...] a Kingdom of Men without Women.

Even those who are insolent enough [...] blame their defects in publick, are often [...] morous enough to adore their Charms [...] private, witness he, of whom one speak. That ridebat in choro, amabat in th [...] ­re.

This false prejudice of the Men against the Women, is that which discourage [...] them so much from Marriage, and wh [...] ought likewise to make me despair of t [...] happy success of my undertaking, if it w [...] not the most reasonable of the world. Bu [...] Sir, my cause supports it self. It is [...] a particular one, and of little consequence [...] As much abandon'd as it is, notwithstand­ing the most general and important cau [...] that ever was, since it is at the sa [...] time the cause of God and Man: [...] Heaven and Earth: of Nature a [...] Grace: of States and Families: of t [...] Church Militant, and Church Triumph­ant. May not one affirm, in effect, th [...] [Page 5]all these different Subjects have an in­terest equally sensible in Marriage? Is it not the ordinary Channel to give Cho­sen Vessels to God, Faithfull ones to the Church, Members to the State, Children to Families, and to people Heaven and Earth with inhabitants? What would be­come of the World without Marriage? What would become of all Human-kind? 'Tis certain that it would soon be at an end, and with it all our Interests. This consideration animates my Courage, and makes me even hope, that in spight of the infatuation of Men, and their blou­ [...]y Criticks against Marriage; God will enable me to support its sacred rights, and to convince them that in the bottom, his of all conditions of life is most a­greeable to them.

As to what remains, I cannot make the Apology of Marriage without making that if this lovely Sex, for whom all sensible men ought to have a veneration, since [...] relation to Marriage it self, it is the [...]undest and most considerable part. I [...]as always pleased to justifie the Women against the Calumnies of the Men; but [...] propose to my self to do it in this peice after a particular manner. I owe to [Page 6]them this justice, and methinks no one should refuse it them. They deserve un­questionably much better usage, than they meet with. Is it not wonderful, that the very Devils should have advocates to plead their Cause as deplorable as it is; and that Women should want them to defend theirs, which is so good? If Heaven is propitious to me, and gives a favourable answer to my endeavours, possibly it will not be a little powerful also to triumph over that opposition, that has been made against Hymen. Behold one of my chiefest ends. You knew, Sir, my rea­sons which make me desire your thoughts of it, and the motives which ought to dispose you to it for your advantage, and the comfort of your illustrious Family.

That I may observe some order in my discourse, and make the lecture more a­greeable I shall divide it into five Parts. In the first I will treat of the Excellen­cy of Marriage: In the second discover the infamy of Incontinence: In the third examine the motives, which may reaso­nably dispose men to Marriage. In the fourth answer the objections they make, and the false reasons they alledge to re­main unmarried. And finally, in the [Page 7]fifth part I shall furnish them with Precepts [...]n order to Marry well, and to live [...]uppily in Marriage. Behold Subjects c­ [...]ough to compose a large Volume, if a Man would exhaust the matter of them, and treat of them in all their extent: but [...]s I love little Books, and am naturally [...]isheartned with those that are not so; I [...]hall only insist upon things necessary and [...]ssential to my design, as much as I am [...]ble, to the end that it may not hold you [...]ong, and you may soon discover the scope of it.

OF THE EXCELLENCY OF MARRIAGE. PART. I.

THAT which is said by way of Proverb, A­liud in titulo, aliud in pixide, may very well be applied to Marri­age. One observes one thing in it, but one finds another ex­actly different. It is remarked of the Temples of ancient Egypt, that no­thing was more magnificent without, nor more barbarous within. On the [Page 9]other side we read of the Taberna­cle of Moses, that under a mean co­vering of Goats-Skins, it contained the Ark of Alliance, the Mercy-Seat, the Altar of Gold, and a thousand other precious things. This Histo­ry, and not the other, is a very plain representation of Marriage. If you consider the ontside of it, what can be more miserable in appearance? One sees nothing but difficulties. One must please a Wife. One must bring up Children. One must be mindful of a Family. One must pass through a thousand kinds of proofs. But if you examine its inward part, what sweetness, what satisfaction, what delight shall you not discover for Man, since God resides therein, and pours out the influence of his grace upon it? Nothing in nature can represent to us the felicity of a Marriage blest of Heaven, and possessed of the peace of the Holy-Spirit.

I confess likewise that Marriage, as well all other humane conditions, is a composition of Good and Evil, of Sweets and Bitters, of Joy and Sorrow: it is not exempt from dis­graces. [Page 10]It has its Thorns, and its Tribulations: One may affirm it, 'tis true, In cadem urna, aurum est, Sen. Ep. 87. & vipera. But first of all, Sir, where is that condition of Man, as I have said, that is exempted from it? there is no one but must consent to this.

Nihil est ex omni parte beat [...]m.
Hort. l. 2. Ca [...]m. od. 16.
There is no state in­tirely happy.

As happy as he may be, he always wants many things in or­der to his being perfect­ly Non Miser. Cic. 1. Tus­cul

The life of Man, according to Job, is a train of continual War, and Moses informs us, that the fairest of his days is a sort of punishment. Put him in what scituation you please, he will never be entirely composed. He will always complain: He may torment himself long enough to pro­cure a real happiness; but he will ne­ver find it in this world. What soe­ver care he may take to avoid the troubles of life, he will be oppressed with them in spight of all his pre­cautions. [Page 11]Afflictions will proceed to him out of his own repose, and crosses from the very source of pleasures; as Lucretius so well observes.

— Medio de fonte le­porum
Surgit amari aliquid,
Lucr. lib. 4.
quod in ipsis floribus angat.

I say in the second place, that Mar­riage is that of all the conditions of Man, the most proper to support crosses. A Batchelour cannot share them with any body: He must foment and digest them all entire in his own breast. It is in this prospect, that the Wise Man pronounces unhappi­ness to him that is alone. If he falls down, says he, who shall raise him up? I add, if he be afflicted; who shall comfort him? If he be indisposed, who shall take care of him? If his heart be charged with what is called gravamen mentis, who shall give him ease? Whom shall he entrust with the secret of his grief? In what Bo­som shall he pour forth his sighs? One says that a good thing possessed alone, is not agree­able. Sen. Ep. 6. Nullius boni sine socio [Page 12]jucunda possessio est. But what is also more afflicting, than to be unable to divide ones sufferings, with one that is concerned in them, and that helps you to support them?

It is directly otherwise of a Mar­ried Man. He has an assistant. He has a companion. He has another self, that enters into his heart; that partakes of all that happens to him; that is touched with all his disasters; and doth all that lies in her power to sweeten his mind. Scio Spiritus illjus in meo verti, Sen. Ep. 104. I know said Seneca of his Paulina, that her Spirit moves in mine. The Wife is to an afflict­ed Husband, the most comfortable thing of the world, she averts the trouble of mind, and rebates anger. Ʋxor marito, in malis aut morbis affecto, suavissima est. Iram mitigat, & a tri­stitia animum avertit. There is nothing that comes near to the assistance he receives from her in the most trouble­some occasions of life.

In a word, when I speak of the excellence of Marriage, I pretend to consider it as it is in it self; and [Page 13]not as it may be in its consequences. One must distinguish between what is proper to it, and what is accidental. By nature it has nothing but what's good, and may render a man happy. But if it becomes fatal to him, and he finds in it nothing but Thorns, it is through his own fault; Marri­age it self is free from that guilt. It is not impossible, if he will, to make of it a source of pleasures to himself, and to make it serve advan­tagiously to the greatest of his in­terests, which is Salvation, as I will demonstrate in the latter parts of this work.

To understand this well, one must consider Marriage in a threefold re­lation. In relation to God, who is the Author of it. In relation to Man, for whom it was instituted; and in re­lation to the World, to which it is a perpetual principle of subsistance. In these three respects one may say that there is nothing in nature of more excellence than Marriage.

It is then from God, and imme­diately from God, that this holy So­ciety draws its original. He had no [Page 14]sooner taken Man from nothing, but he took out of Man the Woman for the sake of Man. Scarce had he cre­ated him, but he thought to marry him. It is not good, said he, Gen. 2.18. for Man to be alone. Let us make him an assistant, that may be like him: Thus he formed an Eve to Adam, from A­dam himself, which is not without mystery. Then he pronounced these words which are of an eternal obli­gation to all men. Man shall leave his Father and his Mother and stick to his Wife, and they shall be two in one flesh. Behold, Sir, the Institution of Marriage, which is, you see, as an­cient as the world. One can observe nothing since the Creation, that has preceeded it. It was the first care that God took after this great Ma­ster-peice, so necessary did he esteem it. It even seems to be in some mea­sure a part of it, and that without it, it had been imperfect. You'll say that it was a quality, which Man wanted for his perfection, and that without it he had been unworthy to obtain an Empire over those crea­tures, [Page 15]which the Creator gave him. It was perhaps for this reason that the Jews termed a Batchelour, but half a man.

How many Laws and humane In­stitutions are there, which one esteems not only for themselves, but also for the sake of their Authors? who will not acknowledge that it was a great happiness for Philosophy, to have been taught by Aristotle? And that the Socrates's and Cato's have done as much honour to Wisdom, as Wisdom has done them? who does not know like­wise that the Order of Knighthood so famous among Christians is of it self a very small matter, and that it draws almost all its Dignity from the very institution of Kings, who had a mind thereby to make a mark of distinction between the Lords of their Court?

Upon this foot one may affirm that Marriage is a very considerable thing. There is here more than Aristotle, more than Socrates, more than Cato, more than a mortal King, more than Moses himself the Author of the Law; In a word, more than all the Legis­lators [Page 16]together. Its Institutor is God himself; that is to say the Master of the world; the Lord of Heaven and Earth; the King of Ages, and Fa­ther of Eternity; Yes, Sir, Marriage is his production; It is the breath of his mouth; It is the work of his hands. It is the character of his Au­thority. If the institution of Jesus Christ, as well as the thing it self, makes us find in Baptism, and in the Eucharist, a supernatural excellence; how should one be wanting in Mar­riage by relation to the institution of God? Behold then, Sir, the first degree of its excellence. viz. That it is of right divine. That it is of universal right. That it is of per­petual right. God has ordained it, God has establisht it. And he has ordained it for all men, and for all times. It is not good for Man to be alone. Let him forsake his Father and Mother, and joyn himself to a Wife: That not only relates to Adam, but to all his posterity to the end of the world. What can be more Sa­cred than this Law? 'twas God that made it. What can be more exten­sive? [Page 17]it regards all humankind. What can be more durable? It ought to continue during the Revolution of all Ages.

I introduce into the excellence of Marriage, that God has instituted it in the state of Innocence, and in the Terrestrial Paradise. In effe [...], me­thinks these two particulars should extreamly advance the price of it. Undoubtedly there was nothing in that happy condition, wherein God had placed our first Parents, but what was very good, and participated of the purity of their original: They carried at that time, upon their Fore­heads the glorious Stamps of their Creator. Sin had not yet defaced in them that curious Image of him­self, which he had communicated to them. Holy, and without defects, they enjoy'd a perfect felicity. All things conspir'd to their happiness. Who can disagree then, that the Mar­riage whereof they were at this time in possession; was in it self, and of jts nature an excellent thing.

Is it not also the consequence, which follows from that place of de­lights, wherein it was established? When God gave his Laws to his Peo­ple, he descended upon Sinai, where with testimonies of his Majesty infi­nitely glorious, he made his voice known to Moses, and pronounced all those divine Words, which inspire veneration and fear. Those terrible preparations wherein God appear [...]d to the Jews, that sounding of Trum­pets, those flashes of Lightning, and claps of Thunder, which overwhelmed the holy Mountain; which gave a­stonishment to Moses himself; and which made the Israelites to cry out, We shall dye: for we have seen God. All this, I say, must without doubt contribute much to their receiving with veneration the Celestial Laws. They might reasonably inferr, that what should be directed to them from a place crowned with so much glo­ry and magnificence must be di­vine.

What opinion likewise should we not have of Marriage, when we see it proceed from a bed of Innocence, [Page 19]and a Paradise of delights? As ho­ly and august as Sinai was at the Pub­lication of the Law, yet I dare affirm that it was nothing in comparison of that Garden of God, when he in­stituted Marriage therein. It was of that one might truly say, Introite, nam & hic Dij sunt. God was in it. God walked therein. God made it (that I may so speak) his habi­tation of pleasure. God familiarly talkt with Man therein. There was nothing, but what inspired satisfacti­on. The Rivers wherewith it was incessantly watered, were as so many currents of delights. Alll the Ele­ments concurred to render it agree­able. It was not yet subject to the irregularities of Seasons; the frosts of Winter, and heats of Summer, were never perceived there. It was crowned with a perpetual Spring. In a word there was nothing there, but what was proportioned to the perfection of their being, and the purity of their original; nothing, but what exactly agreed with the happy condition of innocent Man. Nathaniel said to Philip, through a false prepo­ssession [Page 20]against Jesus Christ: Can any thing that's good come out of Nazareth? Let us say on the other side, can a­ny thing thats bad come out of Pa­radise? We often judge of the qua­lity of things, and likewise of men by the places from whence they come. It should be good; as we say of Fruit: for it comes from a good Soil. He must needs deserve, we say of a person, whom we know on­ly by his Family and Education, for he belongs to people of merit. He is of Noble Bloud. He comes from a good place. And what should we not say of Marriage, that it must be of singular excellency, since we see it comes from the Center of plea­sures; from the Eden of God, and from God himself.

Let us consider it, in the second place, with relation to Man for whom it was instituted. In morality one calls that a good, which agrees with our nature, and is proportion'd to the condition we are in. According to this definition, Marriage ought to be a considerable good. What can bet­ter agree with man, and more exactly relate to his necessities?

Man was made for Society. He is called by some an animal of compa­ny. He cannot live alone. Even those who repair to solitude, repair to it with others: without that they would not survive it long. There are but few of those Hermits who inclose themselves alive in a Cave, as in a hideous Sepulcher, to be deprived of all sort of conversation. I am even of opinion that the Chartreux would soon be weary of their condition, as holy, and as much esteemed as it is, if they had not the liberty of being seen of their friends, and of conversing with them sometimes in a week.

There are but few who can practice that instruction:

In solis sis tibi turba lociis. Lib. 1. Polit. Be Company to thy Self in Solitude.

One must be Angel, or Brute, to live alone, says Aristo­tle. Cicer. lib. de Amicit. Natura Solitarium nihil amat. Nature loves not Solitude, says Cicero likewise. This Law of the Creator [Page 22]is general for all men, It is not good for Man to be alone, that is to say. It is good for him to live in Com­pany, and to enjoy Society.

But, Sir, of all Societies, that of a Woman is undoubtedly what Man de­sires with most ardency. Nature has given him I know not what inclina­tion to joyn himself with that ob­ject, which makes him turn toward it all his thoughts, from the moment he discerns the use for which he was made. It has been said, long since, That life is no value without Women.

Sine venere vita non est, nec jucundit as
There's no life nor pleasure with Love.

Nothing is more agreeable than this mixture of the two Sexes, and there wants no very great Reason to con­vince Man, that one was really made for the other.

Those, who have the least pro­pensity to Marriage, do not fail to love Women. Oftentimes they are even most enflamed, and would esteem their condition to come behind that [Page 23]of Beasts, if they were deprived of their sight and conversation. After having said much ill of them, they are constrained to acknowledge that it is an evil which one cannot be without, and that the privation of this evil would be an evil incompa­rably greater. Mulieres sunt malum, sed tamen O [...]ives! Non licet habitare hoc sine malo. Women are an evil, but such an evil, O Citi ens! that we cannot live without. How excel­lent a thing then is Marriage, that gives to Man a Woman; that is to say, somewhat he covets more than all the Gold of the world, and with­out the enjoyment of which, all the rest would be almost insupportable? How is it proportion d to his ne­cessities? How is it conformable to his to his natural circumstance?

This also very clearly proves the vehement desire Man is affected with to increase his kind, and to leave after him a posterity, conformable to this order of the Creator. Encrease and multiply, which is the principal end of Marriage. I know there is an infinite number of persons who would marry [Page 24]if on the otherside they were assured of not multiplying. A Wifeis only dear to them in that she is barren.

Jucundum & charum sterilis facit uxor amicum.
Juvenal. sat 5.
A Barren Wife makes our friend pleasant and intimate.

But be it as it will, pure and di­rect nature is desirous of a successor. Let Cato say as long as he please, Si mundus carere posset liberis conversatio nostra non esset sine Dijs: If the world could be without Children we should converse with the Gods. Good men al­ways return to this, That Conjugium sine prole est mundus sine sole. That Marriage without Children is like a a world without a Sun. Children are undoubtedly the most legitimate and agreeable fruits of Marriage. It is the principal thing that Men of rea­son propose to themselves: And by consequence the institution that God has made of it to favour that vio­lent inclination which has cost so many tears to barren Wives, and un­fruitful Husbands, must needs pass for super-excellent.

Shall I enlarge yet, that Marriage is to Man, both an excellent reme­dy to cure him of his Incontinence, and an admirable means to ease him in his domestick cares? Who is ig­norant that Man was born for one thing, and the Woman for another? that there are a thousand sorts of cares suitable to a Woman, and by no means decent for a Man? who knows not that the Man is subject to an infinite number of accidents and distempers? That in these occasions no body is a fitter assistance to him than a Wife? Then as another Author says, she is neither a Burden nor a Cross, but on the contrary she wonderfully ea­ses from the shoulders of the Man the weightiest crosses, and most op­pressing burdens. Nec enim per jovem uxor onus, Hierocl. apu [...] Stobaeum. Brm. 186. aut molestia est: Sed con­tra facillime ac sine negotio ferri potest, una res mole­stas & pergraves ipsa le­vat. Who is not sensible that man is often inflamed with that fire, which a Father of the Church calls Cupidi­nis incendium, the fire of Concupiscence, [Page 26]and of which St. Paul says, 1. Cor. 7.9. That it were better to marry, than burn. In a word, who doth not know that h [...] can never lawfully extinguish this fire but in the bosome of his Spouse, an [...] in drinking the water of her Cistern, Prov. 5.15. To spea [...] with the wise man [...] How excellent is Marriage in a [...] these respects? How advantagious for man?

It is no less, Sir, with relation [...] the world. Without it one may a [...] firm one of these two things, either that the Creature had been deprive [...] of its end, which was to multiply in infinitum the individuals of humane-kind; or else if that had been accomplished, it could only have been by ways indirect, unjust, violent, a [...] criminal: which would have brought the world into confusion, and m [...] king it the Threater of all sorts [...] immodesty, disorders, and abominati­ons. Marriage produces that goo [...] and prevents this evil. It answer the end proposed by God, and sa [...] the world from ruine. It people [Page 27]the earth with inhabitants, and keeps up amongst them wisdom and mo­desty. It gives to each Sex its le­gitimate use, and is a bridle to their intemperance, securing vertue from all insults, and violence.

After all this should one admire, that in all well regulated States such infinite care has been taken to cause an exact observation of Marriage? Is it a wonder, that in the Republick of Lycurgus, the haters of it should be excluded from publick sports, Spe­ctacles, and entertainments? Can one be surprised, that in the Common­wealth of Plato, Batchelors of 35 years were accounted infamous? In a word, it is miraculous that in all times, and even amongst the barba­rous Nations, a particular deference has been payed to married men, and that Marriage has been much more esteemed than Celibacy? It is, Sir, the foundation of the world, and the inexhaustable source of Families. 'Tis that which gives Citizens to Cities, Inhabitants to Provinces, and Subjects to Kingdoms. 'Tis that which af­fords Kings to People, and People [Page 28]to Kings: 'Tis that which furnish [...] the Country with Labourers, the Tri­bunals with Judges, the Churches with Preachers, and the Armies with Soul­diers. 'Tis that which has produc [...] Heroes on Earth, and Gods in Hea­ven. Poets have married Gods, as well as Men. Saturne had his Cebel [...] and Jupiter his Juno, both which have been Mothers of several of those false Divinities, which Pagan antiquity for­merly adored. In a word, 'tis Mar­riage that gives life to Arts and Sci­ences; That keeps up Traffick; That maintains Societies, and to which [...] owing the greatest part of those whol [...] some Laws and prudent Discipline [...] without which the world would b [...] but a Cavern of Thieves. Can it b [...] too much esteemed after this? And needs there any more to prove, tha [...] nothing is better, or more excel­lent, if you except a real conti­nence?

Yes, Sir, there is required more for one may make appear that it such in a manner yet more convin­cingly. You will be satisfied of i [...] if you consider it with me, First [Page 29]as the bond of the most perfect, most sweet, and most wholsome of all hu­mane conjunctions. And Secondly, as the exercise of the most lawful, most agreeable, and most absolute au­thority of the world.

Nothing unquestionably is more perfect than this union, in respect to its subject, to its end, and to its manner. Marriage unites Man and Woman; that is to say, what there is of most excellent, and most perfect in the corporeal nature: what resem­bles in it self all the Beautys of this great Universe: what alone is of more value, than all the other Crea­tures together. In sine, what by the understanding and reason, with which it is endowed to the exclusion of all other Creatures, has merited the glorious name of the Image of God.

What do you imagine to be the first part of this subject? It is a Celestial Soul: It is an immortal Spirit, an angelical and immaterial Substance. It is a being, that partakes in some sort of that of God himself. Seneca goes yet further. When he [Page 30]considers its excellency, he will have it to be God himself, who, that as I may say, is come to lodge within our bodies. Quid aliudvoces animam, nisi, Sen. Ep. 32. Deum in humano cor­pore hospitem. 'Tis that makes St. Austin say, That after God, nothing is better than the Soul, Anima post Deum ni­hil melius.

As to the Body, which is the o­ther part that Marriage unites in the Man and woman, we may affirm that as miserable as it is in relati­on to its substance, and to the va­rious accidents to which it is sub­ject, it is notwithstanding the most perfect and most excellent work of Nature, in respect of its composition; which, as the Psalmist so ellegantly asserts, is all embroadery: of its aim, which is to serve as an organ to the Soul, and to be as it were its Or­nament, Corpus est vestimentum a­nimae, says, St. Chrysoslom, The Body is the Garment of the Soul; and in a word of its use, which is to be imployed in the most noble, most necessary, and most important actions of life.

Behold then the first perfection of Maraiage: viz. That it unites Bo­dies and Souls; that it joynes toge­ther the two finest Creatures in the World; That it is a composition that is most rare and precious in the es­sence of things. This kind of Union is seen no where else, nor in any other subject. The Conjunction of the Stars is a Union purely corpo­real, the Copulation of Beasts is a Union purely carnal. Fornication is a Union of Body without Soul: And Friendship, as strong as it may be betwixt two friends, is notwithstand­ing but a Union of Souls without Bo­dy. There is nothing but Marriage, that truly unites Bodies and Souls togather.

Its second perfection consists in its end; which according to nature is to multiply men: according to grace is to encrease the number of the E­lect: and according to Nature and Grace to retain the Sexes in the bounds of Wisdom, Modesty, and Honesty, in removing the disorders of debauchery. What can be more worthy of God and Man, than this End?

I say, in the last place, that the manner of this Union likewise makes up one of its beauties. Marriage doth not only joyn the Bodies, it also u­nites the Souls. 'Tis much, I confess, but there is still something incom­parably greater. It not only unites Bodies and Souls, but O surprising wonder! of two Bodies and two Souls, it makes one and the same Person. Man and Wife, says Jesus Christ, are no more two, but one flesh. Aristotle affirms of a real friendship, that it is a soul which inhabits in two Bodies. But the union of Marri­age is still much more intimate. They are no more two Bodies, but one sin­gle Body, no more two Souls, but one single Soul. They are no longer two Bodies tyed to one Soul: No long­er two Souls confounded in one Bo­dy. 'Tis a something, I know not what, which is not absolutely one or t'other, but is more than both, and cannot be expressed.

Possibly the Comick Poet thought of nothing less than to represent to us the wonder of this Union, when he made the diverting peice of his [Page 33] Amphytrion. It is notwithstanding what he doth after the most natu­ral way imaginable in the Scene of the two Sosias. He makes them to be of so perfect a resemblance, that they look upon one another as one and the same person. They are not at all distinguishable. They are two in number, yet but one in action and movement. They always speak by I, and not by We. They do not say, thou art there, and I am here; but I am there, I am here. Plautus expresses it in his Language with an emphasis we cannot render in ours. ‘What you would persuade me no body ever heard says Amphytrion to Sosia, that one man should be at the same time in two different places.’

Nemo unquam homo ante­hac
Vidit,
Plnut Amphyt. Act 2. Sc. 1.
nec potest sieritem­pore uno
Homo idem duobus locis ut simul sit.

‘By what inconceiveable art could it be that thou wast at the same moment here and in the House.’

[Page 34]
Quo id mali [...]m pacto potest
Fieri, nunc uti tu hic sis & Domi, id di­ci volo.

‘You may well be astonished at what I have told you, replies Sosia; but it is a manifest truth.’

Sum profecto & hic & illic.
I am both here and there.

Nothing, I confess, is more Thea­tral than these ways of speaking, but it must be granted also that no­thing better explains the nature of this strict union that Marriage makes. There are no words that can exact­ly represent it. One ought for that end to compose a new Grammar. One cannot speak of it but in making Solecisms, and in confounding the plural with the singular, and the sin­gular with the plural. They are no more two, but one flesh, says God himself of Man and Woman. They are one in two persons. They are but one person in two bodies. Ani­mae duae, two Souls. Animus unus, one [Page 35]mind. Idem Velle, idem nolle, and one will. There happens nothing to one, but what arrives to t'other. The Husband and the Wife feel the same things. They suffer the same evils. They enjoy the same good things. Grief and joy make the same im­pressions in each of them. Morbo de­tinetur unus? Detinentur duo, Adversa premunt unum? Sensus in utroque est, u­trumque risus, utrumque lachrymae. Pros­pera laetaque tenent unum? tenent u­trumque As the Phylopher so well expresses in Seneca The same distempers and misfortunes reach both. If one laugh so doth the other, their tears are the same, &c.

This is too strong for a simple friendship: Such a one as this never appeared. Or if such a one has been found, one must necessarily suppose it to be more than a union of Spi­rits. You know that another was practised frequently enough amongst the Pagans, which might much con­tribute to the making of such friends, but which is so scandalous to nature, that you must be contented to read it in the first Chapter of St. Paul to the Romans, without hearing it named.

But, Sir, if you would be perfectly convinced that there is nothing in na­ture more excellent than Marriage, you are only to look upon it with relation to the great mysteries it re­presents. The holy Spirit has made use of in a thousand places in our Di­vine Scriptures to testifie to us the tenderness of the Father under the Law; and of the charity of the Son under the Gospel. I will espouse thee to me for e­ver. Hosea. 2. I will espouse thee to me in justice, in judgment, in mercy, and in compassion. I will espouse thee with constancy, and thou shalt call me thy Hus­band, said God himself to his ancient Israel. I have appropria­ted you, 2. Cor. 11. Eph. 5.23.32. said also St. Paul to the new People, to one single Husband to pre­sent you as a chast Virgin, to Jesus Christ. Besides the Church is called the Bo­dy of Christ, and the Spouse of the Lamb, the Song of Songs is nothing else but the Epithalamium of this Di­vine Marriage. Thus God was Mar­ried with the Jewish Church. Jesus Christ is also Married with the Chri­stian [Page 37]Church. 'Tis thus the Sacred Authors represent to us that intimate union of the Faithful with the Divi­nity, and Flesh of Christ. 'Tis thus they insinuate to us that profound­ness of love we find in his heart. 'Tis thus they instru [...] us how dear we are to him and it, as we ought to make our interests of his, so he never fails to make ours his own.

The ancient Doctors have carried yet further, the perfection of Marri­age, when they considered it as the natural Image of the Hypostatick uni­on of the two Natures in Christ. One must acknowledge in effect that nothing discovers to us better the bot­tom of this adorable mystery. As we have seen, of one Man and one Woman Marriage makes but one and the same person: they are no more two, but one flesh. From thence pro­ceeds this reasoning of St. Paul, that he who loves his Wife loves him­self. The Son of God being also united to our Flesh, is become the Son of Man. He doth not think it a point of usurpation to make himself equal to God, and notwithstanding [Page 38]in uniting himself to us by the In­carnation, he is become flesh of our flesh, and bone of our bone. By the incomprehensible force of this union he has ceased to be simply God, nei­ther is [...] become simply Man. He has reun [...]ed [...] one and the same per­son those two opposite Natures, which make him to be our Emanuel. God with us. He is not only Man, he is Man-God. He is not only God, he is God-Man: but as in Marriage, the union which is made, as intimate as it is, yet destroys not the substance of the two parties which compose it, each preserving its own with its essen­tial qualities: So the Hypostatick u­nion of the two Natures in Christ confounds them not. The one is not absolv'd by the other. The both sub­sist in him after a distinct and inex­pressible manner, without any altera­tion of their essential qualities. Do not imagine with the Nestorians two persons; there is but one. Do not fancy to your self with the Eu­tichians a single Nature: there are two.

In a word, the Ancients affirm of Marriage, that it is the Symbol of the [Page 39]union of regenerate Souls with God. They are all in him, and he in all them. As he who joyns himself to a Wife, becomes one and the same body with her: So, says St. Paul, Cor. 6.16, 17. John 17.21. He who is joyn­ed to the Lord, is made one and the same Spirit with him. It is by the efficacy of this mystical union that Jesus Christ said of the whole body of his elect, Gal. 2.20. That they are but one with him, and with his Fa­ther; That his Apostle says, He lives no more, but that it is Jesus Christ who lives in him; And that the holy Spouse says, That her well-beloved appertains to her, Cant. 2.16. and she to her well-beloved. It is the divine Love that is the efficient cause of this mystical union. 'Tis that which produces in us this holy metamorphosis. 'Tis that which trans­forms us into God himself. Solus a­mor est, quo convirtimur ad Deum, trans­formamur in Deum, ad hearemus Deo, ut simus, unus Spiritus cum eo, Said a learn­ed man, Tis love alone by which we are turn'd to God, transform'd into God we [Page 40]stick to God that we may be one Spirit with him. ‘O Love! that always burns, and is never extinguished! Inflame me all over with thy fire, to the end, that being consumed by the sweet f [...]es of thy affection, I may be never [...]ble of any other love,’ said also the same holy Soul. How much, I beseech you, ought one to de­termine in all these prospects for the perfection and excellency of Marriage?

All other Societies are transitory unfertile, made up of nothing; or of a pure temporal interest. This of Marriage is only eternal. Death it self, that puts an end to all, doth not always conclude this, because it doth not only unite the Bodies: It unites also the Souls.

Trajicit & fati littora mag­nus amor.
Propert. lib. 1. Elez. 19 Sen. Agam. Act. 2.
Amor jugalis vincit, ac flectit retro.

It is likewise very fertile, and the fruits which it produces are more precious than all the Gold of the Indies. Thy Wife, says the Prophet, [Page 41] shall be in thy House, as a Vine abounding in fruits; Psal. 128.3. and thy Children like O­live branches round about thy table. In a word, as I have already said, no­thing is more disint [...]esse than the love of a Wife. She loves her Hus­band for the sake of himself, and be­cause she is easily persuaded that in his respect nothing ought to appear more aimable to her.

To know its whole extent, and how far it goes, you need only to read the Song of Songs in the Bible: There you will perceive the Air, and dis­cover the secrets of a certain plea­sure which charms the heart, and transports the Soul in spight of it self. It is filled with expressions so tender, and figures so effecting, that one must be harder than a Rock not to be wrought upon therewith. I know very well, that the principal design of the Holy Spirit, that di­ctated to Solomon, was to represent to us the flames of the Divine Love, and the mystical union of Christ and his Church. But we can never be able to frame to our selves the ex­cellency [Page 42]thereof, unless we suppose the same things in the conjugal uni­on, since the one is imploy'd there­in as the lively Image of the other. This being so, it is impossible to ex­press the sweetness and satisfaction of a happ [...] [...] age. This wise King sp [...] to us of it in such magnificent t [...]ns, and exposes to our eyes all its delights in so pleasant a manner, that one is transported almost out of himself. One talks of nothing there but of my Love, my particular Friend, my Dove, my perfect one, my Sister, my Spouse, of surfeiting with Love, of Myrrhe, of Aloes, of Aromatick smells; of passing the day with his well-beloved under the shade of Palm-Trees, and amidst the flowers of Pome­granets: and the night, on the bosom, and between the breasts of the fairest amongst Women. All this, tis true, ought to exalt our minds above the objects of the senses, and to put be­fore our eyes the ineffable sweetness of our Communion with Jesus Christ, the real Spouse of our souls: But who doth not see yet further, that man ought to find in the union of Mar­riage [Page 43]well near the same pleasures that the faithful discover in their u­nion with God: since the first is as it were the Plan and Model of the second, and that the pleasures of the second cannot be real if t [...] pleasure of the first is not so?

In fine, I add that nothing is [...] wholsome than this union. Marriage is of it self the undoubted way to Paradise. If an infinite number of persons go astray, and make it the way of Hell, it is because they practise not its pure maxims, and remove themselves from the ends which it proposes. God has instituted it to be an excellent remedy for Man against incontinence; and by consequence to contribute wonderfully to his Salva­tion, by carrying him to Wisdom and Sanctity. He likewise design'd it for him to be a perpetual means of in­creasing his vertues. One has a Wife. One has a Husband. They must be loved: They must be supported: And in spite of their proper infirmities, they must make it a continual joy to possess one another, by a love of complaisance which appears in no [Page 44]other Society. One has Children, they must be instructed. One must labour to make them good in their kinds. They must have examples of goodness. One must instill into their minds wh [...] [...] principles. In a word, one [...] [...]eavour to save them. Can one afford them for their Sal­vation the cares which Nature and Grace require, without taking some for ones own? One has troubles: One has displeasures: One has tribu­lations: Alas! who has not?

O quam dura premit miseros conditio vitae!
Cornel. Gall. ileg. 2.
O! how hard a state of life oppresses the miserable

One must digest them in patience: One must receive them with humili­ty from the hand which dispences them: One must recollect all the motions of real faith and hope to a­void being overwhelmd with their weight, and to discern through all these miseries, that hand of God who delivers when it is time, and who by an adorable dispensation often­times [Page 45]makes of them in a Christian Marriage a source of Benediction and Grace: as they are one of Salvation and Sanctification.

It is, Sir, with the virtue [...] a Batche­lour, and that of a [...] Man, as with avarice and liberan [...]y. This re­quires nothing but communication. That has nothing for its aim but re­striction. One has the hand always open, because it loves to diffuse it self, and the other has it always shut, because it has no pleasure in gifts. The vertue of Celibacy with the men of this world is a dead virtue, that is of no use, nor profits any body. Which made Tertullian say ve­ry eloquently, Malo nul­lum bonum quam vanum. Tertull lib. 1. de pud. Quid prodest esse, quod esse non prodest? It is an idle, barren, particular virtue, and which terminates in the sole subject, to which it is fastned. In a word it is a virtue of a carnal temparament or prudence, which has nothing of nobleness in it self, and which, if one examines it near, will appear to be founded up­on the motives of a soft delicacy.

The virtue of Marriage on the o­therside, is a living and fructifying virtue. It is a productive virtue, which tends only to multiplication. It is a publick virtue. It is a virtue of exam [...] Ommibus pate [...]. It is a virtue or choice and election. It is a virtue of force and victory, and is only so upon the account of the great difficulties it has to engage with. Vir­tus dum patitur vincit, as a Poet says, Virtue whilst it suffers conquers.

Certamen aufer ne quidem virtus erit.

Without opposition and engaging their would be no virtue.

In a word, it is a virtue of useful­ness and profitable to all the world. There is none perhaps but this, to which one may justly apply these two verses of Sententious Horace.

Aeque pauperibus prodest, locupletibus aeque.
Hor. Ep. l. 1. Ep 1.
Aeque neglectum pueris se­nibusque nocebit.

'Tis equally advantagious to the poor and rich.

And the neglect of it brings equal damage to Boys and Old Men.

After having shewn you the excel­lency of Marriage with relation to the advantage of its union, it is not un­fit to make it appear to you with relation to the authority it confers. By nature we love to rule, and to be superior. The design of making them­selves equal to God, is what de­stroy'd our first Parents. One finds nothing so sweet as the power of commanding others, and of being o­bey'd. The Sacred Author lets us know that the very Apostles dispu­ted concerning precedence. It is cer­tain that this Spirit of pre-eminence is born with us: and one may say that it is perhaps the first of our inclinations. How much then ought Men to esteem Marriage, since it satisfies it in so agreeable a man­ner?

In effect, all cannot be Kings in a Monarchy. Dukes in an Aristo­cracy. States and Lords in a Demo­cracy. [Page 48]Heaven bestows this honour but on a few. Yet these for the most part marry, and are in a right to hope for Children. Thus, Sir, of all humane dominions, the paternal is un­doubtedly most ancient and legitimate. 'Tis even that which has served as a foundation to all others.

Methinks there is not enough ob­servance of this Soveraign authority of Fathers over their Children. There is not perhaps any thing in nature so pleasant, or so admirable: What delight to see this people of free­will, subjected to your wills: Always disposed to obey you: always zealous for your service: always interessed for whatsoever has relation to you. Do you speak? they reply to you. Do you not speak? they remain in silence. Do you blame? they are sub­missive. Do you command? they are full of joy. Do you give directions? they obey. Do you prohibit? they abstain. Do you make appear to them an angry countenance? they tremble and are frightned Do you discover one of good humour and love? you fill them with contentment. In a [Page 49]word, you do even what you please amongst them. You are the Master of their good and evil destiny. With­out ever demanding of you the rea­sons of your conduct in their respect, they suppose it always full of wisdom, and they take a pride in a blind sub­mission to it. As they are satisfied you can never do any thing to their prejudice, and that all your aim is but to procure their good: so they ne­ver undertaking any thing against you, but on the other side they ef­fect all they can to give you a testi­mony of their respect, their zeal, and acknowledgment. In fine, there ne­ver was an authority more agreea­ble, or more absolute than this. It is to a Father that this Verse of Ju­venal perfectly agrees, in relation to his Children.

Hoc volo, sic jubeo. Sit pro ratione voluntas.
Juv. Sat. 6.
This I will, this I command, my Will is my Reason.

There is nothing that comes near­er to the Divinity, than this. And it is principally in this regard, that it is the lively image of it.

Nobis parentes sunt Deorum imagi­nes.
Our Parents are as the Images of the Gods.

You will alledge perhaps that the great number of Subjects which makes the felicity of other Governments, is the misfortune of this, because it must needs be that all Children are not of the character I represent them. How many doth one see, that one would swear they were born only to be a perpetual torment to their Parents? If one believes Euripides, Amongst a great multitude scarce will ap­pear a better man than his Father. And according to Sophocles. There are few better, but many worse. I deny not the consequence. It is but too true. Every place is full of ill-born Chil­dren, and unhappy Fathers. But, Sir, in spight of this ancient Proverb, Heroum filij noxae, and whatever the [Page 51]Poets affirm, it must notwithstanding be granted, that it is chiefly among the scum of the people that appear these unnatural Children, who in­fringe all the rights of Nature, and Grace of Heaven and Earth, like other Chams and other Absaloms em­ploy their sacraligious hands, either to dishonour or persecute their Fa­thers. This is rarely seen amongst the generous sort, and in Famalies well orderd. I add, that there are very few Fathers, who may not, if they will, enjoy with pleasure that supream Authority, which God has given them over their Children. 'Tis a thing which depends only upon education, and the manner of bring­ing them up.

There are three things which ex­treamly favour this paternal govern­ment, and may much contribute to render it agreeable and propitious. The first is, That Fathers do them­selves form their own Subjects, not only by the birth they take from them, but also by the education which they give them. They are in some sort Masters of their minds. Nature [Page 52]puts them into their hands, like ra­zed Tables, wherein is nothing as yet written. They may imprint on them such Maxims, as they think fit. They find there no resistance. They receive the propensity they would give them without any op­position.

Ʋt quisque suum vult esse,
Terent. in A­delph. ect. 3. Sc. 3.
ita est.

Insomuch that it depends only on them to teach them the art of o­beying and respecting. They alone have the power to make them wise. It is their own fault if they don't enjoy that Empire whereof Seneca affirms, That the chiefest strength consists in the love of Subjects. Sen l. 1. decl. c. 19. Ʋnum est Regi inexpugnabile munimentum amor civium. In fine, it depends on them alone to inspire them with the fairest sentiments of vertue.

[Page 53]
Quo semel est imbuta rece­ns, Hor. Epil. lib. 1. Ep 2. servabit odorem Testa diu.
That seent a Vessel first takes, will affect it a great while.

For that end you want no store of Rhetorick. There needs but your own proper example. All Children in general are pleased to imitate their Fathers, and to do all they see them practise. They copy them e­ternally in their way of action, in their manners, and oftentimes in their very gestures. Amat unusquisque sequi vitum parentum, says St. Ambrose. O­perator silius quae viderit patrem facient­em, says likewise St. Austin. Thus nothing is more important for Chil­dren than example. But nothing also is more commodious for Fathers, who are capable of affording good ones. They may by this means save an infinite number of words and dis­courses. If we believe St Bernard, Example is the best of Sermons. Ser­movivus & efficax exomplum operis est. And after Seneca, there is no short­er [Page 54]road to virtue, Lon­gum iter est per praecepta: Sen. Ep. 6. breve & efficax per exemp­la. Lorg is the way by Precepts, short and efficacious by Examples.

The second advantage of this go­vernment, whereof I speak, is found­ed upon the hope, which all Subjects entertain of holding one day or o­ther the same place their Fathers do, and of becoming in their turn the Kings of their Children. Therefore if they have never so small a stock of reason, they will take care to practice towards their Fathers those duties, which they would be displea­sed to see unpractised towards them, when they should possess the throne of Paternity, if one may be allowed to speak so. If we love to imitate our Fathers, we do not less love to be traced of our Children. It is un­doubtedly for their interests to ac­quit themselves religiously towards us of that obedience, submission, and profound respect, which even nature dictates to them, and not to establish Maxims repugnant thereto, because they will establish them against them­selves. [Page 55]For the most part one is long­er Father than Child, and so were not these Duties, as they are, the justest in the world, by a principle of Self-love there is not a Child but ought to hold them sacred.

Would you know what I call the third advantage of this authority of the Father over his Children? It is, that he exercises it continually un­der their eyes. It is, that he alone proposes to himself their good. It is, that he labours only for their ad­vancement. This is his general de­sign. This is his principal end. This is his single prospect. Must not Chil­dren become very ungrateful, not to honour and respect with all their power those Fathers, who undergo such pains of body and mind, and who sweat in their sight even bloud and water, in order to render their condition happy, and to leave them a good fortune? All have not success, 'tis true: Non licet omnibus adire Co­rinthum. But, be it as it will, all have the intention. All tend that way. All propose it to themselves. Are you not of opinion, Sir, that [Page 56]there would be even more blindness than ingratitude in Children, that refuse to submit themselves to this reasonable dominion, since it has been established by nature, and so strong­ly recommended by God himself in his Divine Scriptures, purely for their Salvation: and that it intirely aims at their proper good?

Behold three Characters, that are peculiar to paternal goverment, and which distinguish it extreamly from all others. Who can dispute after this the sweetness of it? In effect, nothing is more. But it is not e­nough considered. I maintain that it is one of those things, which may most aleviate the cares and troubles of a Father. What pleasure is it, once again, to have Children, who like so many faithfull Subjects are a­bout you for your guard, to serve you, to love you, to respect you. What satisfaction to be able at all times and in all things to rely upon their heart, their faith, and their zeal! What contentment never to impose but such commands, as they readily perform, to say to one go, [Page 57]and he goes; to bid another do this, and he does it! What secret joy to observe all these other-selves, these verdant plants, these rising Stars, which God has brought forth in your own bosom, to envy one another in the concern of your welfare! In a word, what extream bliss to have always at one's table and about one such a troop of real friends, uncor­rupted Servants, and submissive Sub­jects! If one regarded things as they are, where are the bitters that all this is not capable of sweetning? where are the misfortunes, that the prospect of this good would not ob­literate? And yet 'tis Marriage that produces all this satisfaction for man. 'Tis that which procures him all these advantages. It is by that Chan­nel, that God distributes to him all these favours. By consequence what can one apprehend of more use to him? What can be more excel­lent.

One affirms of truth, that it is what all the world believes. I as­sert just the same of an excellent thing, it is what all the world makes [Page 58]practice of. According to this prin­ciple one may say in a certain sense, that nothing can be more excellent than Marriage. It is of universal practice. As I have already insinu­ated, a perpetual Celibacy was never esteemed in the world. At all times it has been regarded as a thing dis­graceful to mankind, and as the Pest of Republicks. The Romans depri­ved Batchelours of Testamentary Le­gacies. The Corinthians, of Burial. The Argives, of all sorts of Presents. And the Athenians even carried their severity so far as to whip them before their Alters upon their solemn Feast­days.

But, Sir, if Marriage is of all times and of all places, one may say that it is likewise of all persons. Birth, Death, and Marriage are the three bounds where all men meet. All are born: all dye, and almost all are married. Little and Great: Rich and Poor. Kings and Shepherds. Learn­ed and Ignorant. Civilized and Bar­barians. Philosophers and Orators. Young and Old. All kinds of Men. Of all kind of professions. Of all A­ges. [Page 59]Of all Statures. Of all Com­plexions. All Marry. All enter in­to this great Society. All get them­selves admitted into the Brotherhood. There is no condition in the world, where one has so many companions. Methinks this ought to render it yet very considerable. But as nothing makes a virtue appear more splendid, than to compare it with its oppo­site vice; to shew more fully the ex­cellency of Marriage; is to com­pare it with the infamy of inconti­nence, its contrary, which is the sub­ject of the Second Part of this Work.

OF THE INFAMY OF Incontinence. PART. II.

IF I was only to treat with Saints upon this Subject, I should not have occasion to use many words in order to persuade them, that nothing is more infamous than Incontinence. To convince them hereof, it would be sufficient to tell them, that no­thing is more repugnant to that pu­rity, [Page 61]which they profess. But, Sir, it is with Sinners and great ones too, that I must have to do. Even with such, who for the most part are grown old in criminal habits, and who make a sport of that filthy debauchery, for which Heaven declares so much ab­horrence.

You apprehend that if they are in­sensible of the charms of Marriage, they are no less of the horrors of Lust, and that it is equally difficult to convince them of the excellency of the one, and the infamy of the other: They are a sort of people willful in their blindness. They resolve to see nothing in the first but what is irk­some, in order to make it an object of Contempt. They refuse to see any thing in the second but what's agreeable, in order to make that a continual object of Concupisence.

This disorder is even so common, so general, and so well fixed in So­ciety, that to undertake to withdraw men from it, and to exhort them to return from an errour, which it is much more easie to Blame than avoid, is in some sort to make himself ri­diculous; [Page 62] Blandum ma­lum est Luxuria & quam accusare facilius est ali­quanto, quam vitare! Max. lib. 9. as an ancient Author so admirably says. That is, Luxury is a soothing evil, which we may with more ease censure, than avoid.

'Tis certain that there is within an apparent sweetness. One may affirm of Lust, that it is the bosom of the voluptuousness of the sences, where sinners take their sleep with pleasure. But O cruel, fatal, and pernicious bosom! one sleeps there only to be destroyed. If on one side you taste the sweets of Nectar, on the other, you suck the bitter of Poyson. A­las! who knows not that Samson found his death in that of Dalilah: David almost his in that of his Bersheba: and Mark Anthony the loss of an Em­pire in the bosom of his Cleopatra?

— O! fallax bonum,
Sen. Aedip. Act. 1.
Quantum malum fronte quam tanda legis!

Oh faithless good! how much ill does thy smooth looks con­ceal.

What satisfactions soever the Li­bertines find in such wanton imbra­ces, early, or late, says Seneca, they are converted into pun­ishments. Sen. Ep. 25. Sed ipsae vo­luptates in tormenta ver­tuntur

All this is most true. Experience proves it every day in an incontesta­ble manner, and yet men will not refrain this evil conduct. They take delight in such an error, and are plea­sed with so agreeable a madness. It is a Sea, wherein they take a plea­sure to drown themselves: They hold to this unhappy vice with indissoluble chains: Toto corpore, omnibus ungui­culis, as the Proverb.

We may distinguish three sorts of persons, that are engaged in the shameful commerce of the flesh. The one seeks after it by inclination, and make it their chiefest good. Ano­ther sort continues it because they cannot get rid thereof, being retain­ed as it were in spight of themselves by force and custom, and by the fa­tality of their temperature. The last apply themselves to it both by incli­nation [Page 64]and custom; but they look up­on this sin as a piece of gallantry, and as a mode in Society which they are allowed to follow with others, and without hazard. All these offend­ers equally deserve your horrour.

Place, Sir, in the first rank all those Libertines of Profession. All those Epecureans. All those Sardanapali, who only study to satisfie the irregu­lar appetites of Nature, whose Belly is their God, and who seek their glo­ry in their proper confusion, as an Apostle says. They are naturalized into their offence. It is their very Element. They are so pleased with their condition, that they are extream unwilling to leave it. Like true Swine, they love to abide in their uncleanness.

For whom has this fair Sex been made, that is the ornament of the world, if not for man, say these Debauchees? where can he find more delight than in the bosom of a fine woman? Have not these mortal Goddesses been embraced by the Gods themselves? those Gods that are so much above humanity? Have they not quited all the charms of O­lympus [Page 65] in order to enjoy here below their voluptuous imbraces? and yet forsooth, we, to whom nature has given them in pos­session, must not be affected with them: or if we are, as it is impossible not to be, since one single regard of theirs is able to enflame the heart, urit videndo faemina, Virg. Georg. we must be prohibited to re­peat our caresses, and to be enamour'd of them! What, say they still, we are born with dispositions, that draw us impetu­ously towards this charming object, and we must exert all our cares to remove our selves from it. Nature it self shall give us an extream hunger after this dilicious food, and we must not be satisfied with it in the midst of that abundance we have thereof. If this ardent desire of ours was not lawful, Nature doubtless would not have afforded us the same. Ni­hil censeamus esse malum, quod sit a Natura datum hominibus, says the Fa­ther of eloquence. And if it is good, why should we not receive its influence?

But, add these infamous Men, if it is lawful to use women, and to make these amorous thefts; which the great Jupiter himself has so often preferred [Page 66]to all the glory of his Throne, must not a man be a fool to be eternally fix'd to one, and to deprive himself by this means of the pleasing liberty of change? Natu­ra diversis gaudit. What is there in effect that is more acceptable to man, than variety of meats, and that happy diversity of all things, which this good Mother affords him? Is it possible that this man, for whom she has made all things, should enjoy less priviledge than Beasts, and that she would connect him to one single Woman, whilst she grants to other creatures the lisence of taking what they please, those, to whom se has given infinitely less inclination for this pleasure, than to Man? Has not this likewise obliged a thousand people of the world to establish Poligamy, Letters of Divorce, and even some to render all Wo­men common in Society.

Happy the Country, that is de­stitute of such Monsters! Happy if Christendom were void thereof, and they inclosed in those miserable pla­ces, where reason is extinguished, and where men have nothing of Man, but the Name! Sunt quidam non re, sed nomine homines, as the Roman Ora­tor. [Page 67]Can one imagine, that there should be found of them any where else? Can it be believed that a thing of such absolute impiety and base­ness, Nihil est aut nequius, aut turpius effaeminato viro, should come into a good and civilized Nation? But, a­lass! they are every where. The wisest people, and best ordered States are no more exempt, than o­thers.

What horror, Sir, ought one to conceive for these persons, who have as it were sworn upon the very Al­ters to continue all their life in the application of this Sin, and to make it all the Paradise they allow of? As if this very nature, which has consin'd our inclination to the other Sex, and which for the propogation of Man-kind makes us ardently co­vet the same, had not given us a reason to discern good and evil, and to rule our desires. As if she had not placed in our minds impressions of shame, which are not to be ef­faced without ceasing to be Man. As if one of her first Lessons, which she gives us, was not temperence and so­briety. [Page 68]As if one of her principal ends was not also to distinguish us from Bruits in subjecting all our sen­ses to the empire of reason. As if the same nature did not instruct us that the pleasure of virtue is yet much greater than that of voluptuousness. Major est virtutis jucun­ditas, Cic. in Verrem L. 1. quam ipsa voluptas, quae percipitur ex libidine & cupidate. In a word, as if the real happiness, to which she makes us tend, did not consist in the practice of things which are most a­greeable to the excellence of our being, and which make us approach nearest to that Divinity, from whom we receive it.

The offenders of the second order are unquestionably very culpable, but they are, I confess, much less than those of the first. They de­serve an infinite blame, 'tis true, for being engaged in such criminal habits; but they are in some sort worthy of our praises for being dis­pleased therewith, and for desiring to quit them. He that affirmed ha­bit to be a second nature has not [Page 69]hit amiss. It must be granted that nothing is of more force, and that there is a great diffculty in its con­quest. Vincere consuetudinem dura est pugna, as St. Austin says: And to speak with Seneca the Tragedian, ‘Dediscit animus sero quod didicit diu. Sen. in Troad. Act. 9.

It's very hard to forget what one has learnt by a repeated practice, and a wound often renewed is long in curing, Vulnus iteratum tardius sanatur; Tedious is the cure of a repeated wound.

Experience tells us that a single Act doth not suffice to form a ha­bit. One must repeat it often. A man is not wicked just of a sudden, he grows so by degrees.

Nemo repente fuit turpis­simus.
Juv. Sat. 2.

But when this habit is once for­med, it is not easily forsaken with us. Consuetudo pessima non statim ab­jicitur. One has need of all the ef­ficacy [Page 70]of Grace to disengage himself from it. The great St. Austin is an admirable example of it. After he had reflected upon the irregularities of his conduct, and the necessity that was imposed on him to convert him­self, in order to be made partaker of the Salvation of Jesus Christ. How much time did he take to determine himself to it? How many delays? What difficulties in breaking his Fet­ters? What pleasure did he find in bearing them notwithstanding their weight? Delectatus morbo carnis & mortifera suavi­tate trahebam catenam me­am, Aug. Conf. L. 6. C. 12. Pleas'd with the di­sease of the flesh, and the fatal sweet­ness, I drag my chains about; Says he of himself. From whence appears the truth of what he writes elsewhere, that when one doth not immediate­ly resist the evil custom of sinning, it is turned into necessity.

Behold precisely the State of these Lascivious Demy-converts. They are somewhat ashamed of themselves. They are persuaded they live ill. They even form desires of being freed from [Page 71]the tyranny of Sin. Would to God, say they, that our hearts were pure e­nough and our reasons sufficiently enlight­ned to disengage us once from all these objects of our Lusts! We know that our duty engages us to it, and that nothing is of more necessity. But, alass! when we would dispose our selves to the practice of this virtue, we find the vice so strong­ly rooted in us, that it renders all our efforts unprofitable. The Law of the members fights against the Law of the understanding. Every day we take the resolution to forsake our obscene courses, but we are still infatuated so far as to represent our selves incapable thereof. Putabam enim me miserum fore ni­mis, si faeminae privarer amplexibus, said St. Austin; behold the very con­dition we are in.

You will find others, Sir, that will even excuse themselves upon their constitution. We are, say they, of an amorous complexion. Nature has fra­med us in such a manner, that she has made women absolutely necessary for us. Were we to lose an empire, or life it self, we are compelled to follow our Cle­opatra's and sleep in the bosom of our [Page 72]Dalila's. It is the fatality of our Stars, and its Influence we cannot resist, tho' we are concerned we cannot do it.

Non equidem vellem: sed me mea fata trahebant.
Ovid. Trist. Lib. 2.
Not my own will but fate still push'd me on.

Who is ignorant of the force of con­stitution? who forgets the Father of Philosophy, Mores animi sequunter tem­paramentum corporis? The inclination of the mind follow the temparament or con­stitution of the body.

It's true, there are those unhap­py tempers, which nature seems to have given men only to destroy them. We observe those, who are so sub­ject to the transports of anger, that when they want occasions to exercise it, they fall upon themselves. Like the fool in the Poet, who ran after his own shaddow with a stick in his hand, in order to be revenged of it because it represented him much big­ger than he was. There are others so extraordinary lascivious, that no­thing is capable of qualifying the [Page 73]fury of their brutality. Witness that Monster of immodesty, of whom Ju­venal.

Et lassata viris, necdum satiata, recessit.
Juv. Sat. 6.
With repetition tir'd, the insatiate Whore retires.

As you are wise, and of a regular conduct, I question not, Sir, but you abhor all these debauchees. And who doth not? In short, habit and com­plexion are very idle excuses in the Tribunal of the Divine Wisdom. They are even of no validity in that of human wisdom. This knows its force and tyranny, I confess, but it detests those who practice not all due efforts to surmount them. It says, 'tis true, that man is prone to Si [...], but to remain in his error is proper to the Beast. Est humanum peccare, sed belui­num in errore perseverare, Humane frail­ty errs, but perseverance denotes a brutal Nature. There is no man so barbarous, but education can civi­lize.

[Page 74]
Nemo adeo ferus est, qui non mitescere possit,
Hor. Ep. L. 1. Ep.
Simodo culturae patientem accomodet aurem.
Sure there is none so miserably wild,
But wholsome precepts may re­duce to mild.

As great as the number and crime of these lustful persons is, those of the last Order surpass them still extream­ly. Here, Sir, I would have you re­collect all the motions of your mo­desty to detest the most execrable thing, that it's possible to imagine. The Libertines of the first Order are doubtless very abominable. Nothing is more horrible than their conduct, and there is not one of them, but is most justly entituled to what a Chri­stian Poet says of the wickedst Man in the World, with as much elegance as truth.

[Page 75]
Susque velut vivit sus moriturque ve­lut.
Hog like he lives, and like a Hog he dies.

But why should we be surprised? Are not these unhappy wretches pro­fessed Atheists? They allow neither Heaven, nor Hell: and they equally ridicule Religion and God, who is the Object of it. Their Libertinism is a necessary consequence of their pernicious principles.

Those of the second Order, are, I confess, so much the more criminal, as they know their Duty, and per­form it not; as they sin against the light of their proper Conscience, and as they are acquainted with the Law of God, which is, that they who do these things are worthy of death: But they are the first in condemning their own conduct. They grown un­der the weight of their infirmities. They accknowledge that they are lost without the intervention of God's mercy. They intreat him to deliver them from the slavery of their passi­ons. And what delight soever they [Page 76]find in the crime, they have no soon­er committed it, but they feel shame and remorse, at least generally. This is some alleviation comparatively to the former.

But where can one find terms of force enough to represent the enor­mity of the Crime of these last of­fenders? they not only abandon them­selves to the filthiness of Incontinence, but which is a Prodigy of iniquity, they think a Christian may do it with impunity. They look upon it as a lawful thing, and practice it without any token of shame. Not the least scruple of committing the same. They do it with as much delight, as a Fish drinks water. It is the proper ele­ment of their flesh.

Can one believe, say they, that what is so natural to man, so universal, au­thorised by the example of all sorts of Per­sons, and all sorts of Nations, that what is practised by those very people, who pro­hibit it to others, should be a sin? What is more ordinary, and of more general use, more extensive, and more constant, than the sport of love?

[Page 77]
Vitium commune omnium est.
Gerent in A­delph.
'Tis the common vice of all Men.

Certainly, say they, this cannot past for a sin, and if it be one, it is at most but a venial sin, which of its nature is not damnable. In a word, they are so des­perate to say, that the worst which can happen to them is, that if they are damned, it is with company. O mad­ness worthy of Hell! Is it not very amazing, that persons of this opinion should dare to call themselves Christi­ans, and that they should be impudent enough to dishonour every day by their presence the Sanctuaries and Al­ters of the God of Holiness?

Methinks there needs but a little good sence, if they had no other helps to convince these detestable incontinents of the most prodigious blindness that ever was. Shall custom be able to change the nature of things, and to make that become a good which is of it self an evil? If we were in the Persian Climate, should we be under an [Page 78]obligation to adore the Sun under pretence that it is the mode and Re­ligion of the Country? Must we of necessity ruine our selves, because o­thers do the same? we may, 'tis true, be sometimes deceived in the Judg­ment we make of things; we may take that for a virtue, which is but a vice at bottom.

Fallit enim vitium specie virtutis & umbra.
Vice deceives with the borrowed shape of vir­tue.
Juv. Sat. 14.

But when we are once persuaded that what we do is a sin, and we don't cease to commit it under pretence that it is publick, and of common use, nothing can ever excuse us. We are worthy of the utmost punishments. What shall we say then of those wretches, who upon this foundation abandon themselves to the dissoluti­on of Lust: That is to say, to what Cicero himself, as much Pagan as he was looks upon as the greatest of all evils, Nihil est malum, nisi quod tur­pe [Page 79]aut vitiosum est. There is nothing ill but what is base and vicious. Cicer. Tuscul.

We shall observe in the sequel a little more particularly the vanity of all these illusions, and the enormity of the crime of all these kinds of Liber­tines. But, before we leave them, be pleased to remark, Sir, that this filthy debauchery, which is the subject thereof, is a many-headed Monster, and a spring which divides it self into several rivolets. To speak pro­perly the men of the world acknow­ledge no other incontinence, than that of the Body, which is accomplish­ed by the union of Sexes. But the Gospel whose morality is infinitely more holy than that of men, establish­es four others besides that, which it likewise affirms to be very criminal, to wit, that of the heart, that of the eyes, that of the mouth, and that of the hand.

The incontinence of the heart is nothing else but the Concupisence of Women, and a violent desire of being joyned with them, through the sole principle of a sensual pleasure. [Page 80]Naturally we find a satisfaction in the thoughts of a handsome Woman, and we revolve agreeably in our minds the remembrance of what we have seen aimable in them. When that blind Boy, whom Paganism yet more blind has made a God, has once pier [...]d the heart with one of his invenom [...]d Arrows, he produces there immediately all the motions of his immodest mother. Then it is, Man becomes Frantick, and void of sense. All his conduct is but a pure extravagance. He is no more himself, but the object's that inflames him. It is a shadow that pursues him every where. His con­tinual thought day and night. His watchings and his dreams are full of it, his imagination represents to him continually the Image of her whom he adores. Her idea is always pre­sent with him, and he imbraces it with the same pleasure as if he held her effectually in his Arms.

[Page 81]
Hanc specto, teneoque sinu pro conjuge vera
Ovid in Leoda­mia.
Her I behold, and as my real Wife embrace.

This infemous love so captivates all the sences and all the faculties, that the principal end the Soul proposes to it self, is to satisfie the passion. Need one be amazed after this, that Actantius assures us with St. Paul that nothing is so disagreeable to God, as an impure mind, and a lustful Soul: Nihil est tam invisum Deo, quam mens incesta & animus impurus. There is nothing so hateful to God as an incestuous and impure mind.

You will admire perhaps that I give to the eyes a particular forni­cation. But, Sir, without doubt you have not forgot what Jesus Christ says, That a Man who looks upon a Woman with an eye of Concupisence has committed adultery with her in his heart. Mat. 5. You know like­wise that St, John speaks of the lust of the eyes. And you are not ig­norant [Page 82]that nothing is more common in the world, than this sort of wan­tonness. I dare even affirm, that the eyes corrupt the heart, and the one would be innocent, if the others were not faulty. In effect the eyes are the Gates or Windows of the Soul. It is by them that objects enter into it; and these objects exite therein the motions of Concupisence; from whence comes this common Axiom, Objecta movent sensum. 'Tis for this Quintilian regards the eyes, as the path which leads Vice into the Soul. Vitijs nostris in animo per oculos via est. Quintil. De­clan. 1. That St. Austin says, a lascivious eye is the messenger of an immodest heart, Impudicus oculus impudici cordis est nuncius: and that the Athenian Oraters would have us judge of the manners of men by their eyes. Oculi morum indices, The eyes are the interpreters of the inclinati­ons and manners.

One cannot sufficiently aggravate the disorders of the sight. By that was sin admitted into the world, and by sin death, and by death the end of [Page 83]all men. The Fruit of the Tree of Knowledge was fair to see, says the Scripture Eve beheld it. She de­sir'd it. She eat of it. She sinn'd. One may say that a fine Woman is this prohibited fruit. But where is he that is not pleas'd to look upon it? The best of men cannot refrain. They do it oftentimes without any design to offend God. They propose nothing to themselves, if you will, but to admire the excellency of the Workman in considering so curious a work. But the Devil more ingeni­ous than they, makes use of this sight to kindle in their hearts the fire of concupisence.

Si nescis, oculi sunt in amore duces.
Propert. L. 2. El. 12.
If you know it not, the eyes are the first guides to love.

They come at last to desire this fruit. Their flesh is tickled with hopes of possession. They unhappi­ly destroy themselves by this means.

[Page 84] Ʋt vidi,
Virg. Eclocg. 8.
ut perii, ut me ma­lus abstulit error.

Alas there are but few now a days like Job, who made a contract with his eyes not to look upon a Virgin. One sees every where lascivious eyes. The Publick walks serve only to exer­cise their immodesty. They respect not even the Altars of the Lord, and the Assemblies of his People. If a man discovers a Lady there of a well made, agreeable aspect, he willingly prefers the pleasure of observing her, to that of discharging the duties of Pi­ety. There needs no more to freeze the hottest devotion. Homo ex humo sine hu­manitate non est homo. Man is made out of the earth, nor is a man without hu­manity.

By the lust of the mouth, I appre­hend those filthy Words and Songs, so unbecoming and lascivious, that hurt chst ears, that excite the reddest modesty, and whereof the use not­withstanding is so frequent amongst men. This is certainly a species of fornication, as well by the pleasure [Page 85]that is taken in uttering these obsceni­ties, as because they are the inkind­lers of concupisence, and contribute much to the corrupting of the affecti­ons. One may even be assured with­out fear of a mistake, that those who are pleafed with such kind of discour­ses, are already very much corrupt­ed in their hearts. In effect, the mouth speaks only from the abun­dance of the heart, as Christ him­self. One is the interpreter of the other. The mouth speaks ill, because the heart thinks ill. The effect pur­sues the nature of its cause: and such as the principle is, such also is the act. Ream linguam non facit, nisi mens rea. We may even affirm; that these lascivious tongues are almost an infal­lible proof of a licentious life; for as St. Chrisostom says, Verbae sint signa eorum, Words are the images or repre­sentation of things. The words of men very often give us to understand what they are.

There is very little appearance that a man will not act as he loves to talk, and that being immodest in his conversation he should not be so in his conduct.

If in the morality of our Saviour, one must give an account of useless words, which are neither good nor evil; Judge, Sir, what a reckoning those will have, who make these im­pure and hurtful words a subject of diversion, and who have contracted so large a habit of them, that they can­not express themselves, whether in speaking, or in writing, without na­ming every thing by its name; As the Plautus's, the Horaces's, the Ovia's of the time past, the Rebalai's and the Montaign's of our time. It must be confessed that nothing is more un­worthy of a Gentleman, than this man­ner of action. Modesty is the thing of the world most agreeable to Man, but especially essential to a Christi­an. It is a character that denotes him from all the rest. What was more carefully and earnestly recom­mended to us by the Apostles, than a purity and sanctity in all our con­versation?

In fine, what shall I say of the ex­cesses of the hand with relation to this miserable sin of wantonness. O God, what abominations! what obsce­nities! [Page 87]what unlawful uses! what in­famous things, which one durst not either think or relate, doth it not commit? This crime, which modesty will not suffer to be named, as com­mon as it is, is ne'er the less enor­mous. It was long since struck with the curse of Heaven in the person of Onan, Gen. 38.9. Son of Judah, whereof the Scripture tells us.

Is it a wonder after all this, that God should have so much horror for this crime? Is it any surprise that he should thunder against it such dread­ful menaces? It is matter of conster­nation that he should join to it an he­riditary curse upon families? In a word, that he should so often bring upon the people and upon private persons such terrible marks of his displeasure? It must be granted that nothing is more frequent in Holy Scripture, than prohibitions to com­mit this Sin, and the examples of its punishment. It is not in the Deca­logue alone, that God says, Thou shalt not commit Adultery. He speaks it in a thousand other places of his [Page 88]word. The New Testament especi­ally recommends to us nothing else. The Sermons of our Saviour, and the Epistles of the Apostles are filled therewith. Their principal end is to dispose us to a purity of body and mind: and they protest that nothing is more displeasing to God, than the polluted Garment of the flesh. It is not Sodom and Gomarrha alone that has drawn down the fire of Heaven. Alas! a thousand other Cities, and an infinite number of other sinners have been consumed in all Ages and all Nations upon account of this unhap­py Lust. But admit there was nothing else except the punishments of ano­ther life, and that hideous Lake of Fire and Brimstone, to which in the Theology of Jesus Christ and his A­postles it necessarily leads men, needs there any more to convince us, that nothing is more pernicious, and ought to be more soveraignly hated by us?

Is it not strange, perhaps you'll say, that God who knows Man so well, should with so much exactness pro­hibit a thing, which is so natural to [Page 89]him, and that he should condemn him to the punishments of Hell for a Sin, which it is almost impossible for him not to commit in one of those kinds you have treated of? doth not St. Paul say, That the flesh is not subject to the Law of God, Rom. 8.7. neither can it be.

I reply, Sir, that this great propen­sity it self, which Man naturally has for this debauchery is one of the princi­pal reasons, that have oblig'd the Cre­ator to joyn so much punishment to it, and to thunder so many Curses upon it. If inspite of his prohibition and all his threatnings, Man is insolent enough to abandon himself to it as much as he doth, judge to what ex­cess he hath pushed on the crime, and what he had been able to attempt without it.

Et nihil est,
Ovid. Met. L. 6. Fab 8.
quod non effrae­no captus amore Ausit.

It is then to abate a little the impe­tuosity of this furious passion, that God has used him so. He has been pleased to punish with most bitterness and se­verity the vice, where Man finds most pleasure, and for which he has most inclination, to the end that the fear of so formidable a chastisement, might be as a Bridle to retain him in his duty. There are few of those per­sons left, of whom one might af­firm,

Oderunt peccare bonae vir­tutis amore.
Hor. Epist. L. 1.
They hate to sin for the pure love of virtue.

Most frequently we love this virtue, not for its own sake, but by reason of the punishments that attend vice. Dif­ficile est persuadere homini­bus honestum propter seip­sum diligendum. Cic. 'Tis a difficult thing to persuade men that virtue is to be lov'd for its own sake. If there was no good to hope for in practising the one, and no evil to fear in committing the other, we should [Page 91]become as wicked as the very Devils. Our Love and our hatred are equally concerned. God proposes magnifi­cent rewards to our virtue, and ter­rible punishments to our vice, in or­der to tye us fast to the one, and to remove us from the other. 'Tis cer­tain that this fear, as servile as it is, becomes extreamly advantagious to us, and is of great assistance to rectifie our manners; from whence comes this saying of Divine Plato, Ʋbi timor, ibi & pudor, Where there is fear, there is modesty. And that of the learned Tertullian, That there is no conversion where there is no fear. Em n [...]atio nulla, ubi nullus est metus; There is no punish­ment where there is no fear.

I grant that it is very difficult to practice the duty of that Evangelical continence, to which our Baptism en­gages us. Of this kind of sin, which one usually calls the favourite sin, the wantonness of the flesh is that of all the rest, which is hardest to get rid of. 'Tis that which our Saviour al­ludes to, when he speaks of pulling out the eye, and cutting off the hand. But the rougher the Fight is, the more [Page 92]glorious is the Victory. Non est glo­riosa victoria, nisi ubi fuerint laboriosa certamina, as St. Ambrose says. There is no glorious victory without a diffi­cult engagement.

God in prohibting us this wanton­ness, commands us at the same time to sacrifice to him all those unhappy in­clinations we have to commit it, which so agreeably flatter our sences. No­thing is harder, I acknowledge, to such carnal men as we are: but no­thing is of more necessity, nothing more just.

Hoc decet, hoc leges, jusque, pudorque jubent.
This every Law and Modesty re­quires.

You must needs be fully convinced of this, if you reflect upon the horri­ble miserys that fornication draws af­ter it. I have already hinted them in divers places. But one can never pro­duce them all, so great is the number of them. It stupifies the mind. It blinds the understanding. It corrupts the will. It weakens the memory. [Page 93] Luxuria sensum hebetat, confundit intellectum, Creg. in Moral. me­moriam obdurat. It sullys all the affections. It impoysons the virtues. It fortifies the vices. It in­terrupts the quiet of the Soul. It puts it into a perpetual agitation. Saevus criminum stimulus est libido, Amb. quae nunquam quietum af­fectum manere patitur. Nocte fervet, die anhelat. So that what satisfaction soever our unhappy flesh finds in it, it still discovers more of bitterness.

Plus aloes quam mellis habet.
Juv. Sat. 6.
It has more of bitter, than sweet.

We ought to affirm no less in rela­tion to the miseries it makes the bo­dy suffer. In general, it is extream­ly weakned with it.

Vires a [...] it veneris dam­nosa voluptas.
Ovid de Pon. 10.
The fights of Venus much abate our strength.

The greatest part of those distem­pers, that Physitians call Chronical, which are the sharpest and most in­curable, proceeds from thence. How many other debaucheries doth this oc­casion to those, who are plung'd here­in? what pains, what infirmities doth a man incurr for the sake of a plea­sure, that's equally short and unpro­fitable, says that eloquent mouth of ancient Rome? Cicer. L. 1. Plerique propter voluptatem & pra­vam, & non necessariam tum in morbos graves, tum in damna, tum in dedecora in currunt. There are some foolish enough to chuse rather to dye thereof, than to discover their shame by a modesty, that Horace has reason to misinterpret.

Stultorum incurata pudor malus ulcera celat.
Hor. Ep. L. 1. l. 16.

Almost all the inconveniencies of Old Age are owing to a Licentious Youth, but how few are there that at­tain to it, by pursuing this path; there needs an exceeding strong temperature to live long in such a course. This [Page 95]maxim of St. Chrysostom is certain and general, Luxuriose viventes senes fieri non expedit.

What prejudice doth not this very Lust cause a man in his fortune? What else could hinder Mark Authony from obtaining the Empire of Rome? what made Paris lose his Troy? How many persons become miserable every day through this occasion? Doth it not impoverish the rich, and obstruct the poor from growing so? How many are there, who like the Prodigal in the Gospel spend all their estates with Women of currupted lives, and after they have ruined themselves by the excesses of this debauchery, naturally, as it were, fall into an Hospital, or slavery? For an adulterous Woman, Prov. 6.26. says the wise man, a man is reduc'd to a morsel of bread.

All these calamities are undoubtedly very great, but approach not the loss of Salvation, which very often attends the sin of Lust. The Whoremong­ers, says the Scripture, shall not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. Their por­tion is in a lake of Sulpher. In effect, [Page 96]this of all sins makes the most im­penitents. There is not one that's more pleasing to the flesh. 'Tis found agreeable in every Age. The very Grey-beards are no less subject to it, than youngmen. If they have less vi­gour, they are oftentimes more con­cupiscent. The two Elders in the Sto­ry of Susanna, who were so taken with her beauty, and seeing her na­ked in her Garden burnt for love of her, are a very sensible example of it. If old-Age be impotent in respect of action, it is not so in respect of de­sire. When old, we always wish to do what we did being young, and if we are not able yet we find a sort of pleasure in desiring it, and enter­taining our selves with it, as Plato said of himself. O God! That ever Man should be so wretched as to endanger eternal and infinite joys for such in­sipid, short delights! That Men of such contrivance and wisdom in the civil and politick life, should be capa­ble of such a monstrous indiscretion! That our loss should depend on the Eye of a fine Woman! That a little simple Skin extended over the flesh, [Page 73]and covers nought but bl [...] and bones should have force enough up­on our minds to make us renounce our largest Interests, and all the hopes of Paradise! How much reason have we, I beseech you, to humble our minds in the thought of so much in­firmity?

In a word, Sir, if you are not yet persuaded, that nothing is more infa­mous, or more pernicious than Lust, consider the disorders which it causes in the world and in Families, then question it if you can. One must refer to this detestable Sin the greatest part of general and particular, pub­lick and domestick quarrels. How often has it embroild States, and over­thrown Empires? How many Wars and disputes has it occasiond? How many Marriages has it disturbed, and made unhappy? If a man considers, he shall find that it is the Origine of al­most all the thorns of those, who suc­ceed ill. If Husbands lovd their Wives as tenderly as Ʋlyssis did his Penelope: and if Wives were as faithful to their Husbands, as Penelope was to her Ʋlissis, 'tis certain that we should not see a [Page 74]hundreth part of those disgraces that we do. They are owing to the want of this common wisdom of Men and Wo­men, at least generally speaking. From this principle arise those evil humours, and cruel jealousies, which cause to them both such smart vexations.

But it is not only in this that Incon­tinence is fatal to the World. It is like­wise in this respect, viz. That it aims at nothing but its ruine in averting Men from Marriage; which is the true prin­ciple of its preservation. Would you know the difference between Marriage and Fornication? Marriage proposes nothing to itself but the propagation of Mankind, whereas the other aims at its destruction. Adulter non prolem, sed vo­luptatem quaerit. Marriage glories in the production of Children. Fornication is ashamed of it, and tends only to ob­struct their generation. What hor­rors, what infamies are practis'd for that end? 'Tis easie to conceive them. But it would be indecent to express them. So that the world re­ceives from this vice a prejudice proportioned to all those great advan­tages which it draws from Marriage, [Page 75]whereof I have discoursed in my first Part. Will you not confess after all this, that it is the greatest of all crimes, and that Cicero could not have hit better, when he said that all evils put together were not equal to this? Si unum in locoum collata sint ommia mala, cum turpitudinis malo non erunt comparan­da.

As to what remains, I distinguish not between Fornication, Adultery, and keeping of Concubines. Yet I know one might observe difference: for all Concubine-keeping is a Fornication, but all Fornication and Adultery is not keeping of Concubines. How­ever, all this is but one and the same species of Sin. It is one in it self, and is only diversisived by the State of those who commit it.

But why do you so severely prohibit, you'll say perhaps, a thing that Mo­ses himself permitted to the Jews, and which was practised by the Patriarchs, and the ancient Kings of Israel? A­braham and Jacob had many Wives, and various Concubines. Solomon had even to the number of a thousand; and Poly­gamy, keeping of Concubines, and Let­ters [Page 76]of Divorce have been of use, and are at this time amongst divers People of the earth. This objection is natu­ral to the matter I treat of: and it immediately seems so favourable to the inclinations of the flesh, that it is no wonder it falls into the minds of all men: and that Fornicators make use of it to flatter themselves in their irregularity. It is long since that these sort of Persons, and se­veral ancient Heriticks have pre­vailed thereby to authorise their e­vil conduct, and pernicious senti­ments upon the subject of intempe­rance.

To which I answer first, that God from the beginning of the World established Marriage between two Persons only, Man says he, shall leave his Father and Mother, Gen. 2.24. and joyn himself, not to se­veral Wives, but to one Wife. Not to Harlots and Con­cubines, but to his wife; not to the wife of his Neighbour but to his own; they shall be, adds the Cre­ator, not three, four, five and six, but they shall be two in one [Page 77]flesh. Could he Condemn more ex­pressly, Fornication and Adultery, Polygamy, and keeping of Concu­bines?

Secondly, The example of the Patri­archs and Kings of Israel makes no consequence against a Law so express as that is, because according to seve­ral Fathers of the Church, if they did not confine themselves to it, it was through a very particular and mysterious permission of God. Not to say that as good Men as they were, they were still men; capable of sin­ning like the rest. David himself as­sures us, that there is not one just person; and Solomon says that the most perfect falls seven times a day.

Nomo mortalium omnibus horis sa­pit.
No Man is wise at all times.

It must be confessed, that herein they were seduced by their temper; and that the force of custom and ex­ample of Idolatrous Nations, in the midst of which they lived, contribu­ted much thereto. But at the same [Page 78]time we ought to be persuaded that God bestowed on them the Grace of Repentance; and to admire the ways of his eternal Wisdom, which has often times made use of the pro­per sins of its own Servants, to make us apprehend exceeding miseries. Which made St. Ambrose say, that the very faults of the Patriarchs were advantagious to us. Instruunt Patri­archae non solum docentes, sed etiam er­rantes.

In effect, St. Paul discovers to the Gallatians a great mystery in the Con­cubinary Union of Abraham and Ha­gar, and in the birth of Ismael his Son. Are not we acquainted likewise that the very incestious Fornication of Judah with Thamer his Daughter in Law, has served Providence to make thereof one of the Characters of the humiliation of Jesus Christ; who ac­cording to the flesh was derived from Pharez, one of those Children that sprung from this unlawful copulation. And it is in this consideration that a holy Man has ventured to call even the Sin of Adam happy, because with­out it we had been deprived of this [Page 79]Great Redeemer, who makes all the glory of our Nature, and all the com­fort of our Souls. O! felix culpa, Greg. quae talem me­ruisti habere Redemptorem.

Moreover the faults of the anci­ent Patriachs ought to advantage us by way of precaution. Besides we live under a dispensation infinitely more than that of the Patriarchs and Jews. Moses for the hardness of their hearts allowed them divers things, that Jesus Christ has prohibited us. But do not we know that the Church was in its Infancy under the Law, and that it is in its Manhood under the Gospel? It would be shameful for us to be no wiser than they, and to practice in this perfect age of grace, where we are arrived, the same acti­ons they practised under the imper­fect age of the Law. If your Justice doth not exceed that of the Scribes and Pha­risees, Mat. 5. ye shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven, said the Master to his Dis­ciples. That which is in some sort supportable by the Law of the Jews, and also by the Law of the Maho­metans, [Page 80]can never be so by the Law of Christians. They have engage­ments to a purity of manners, which other men have not.

Aliis silicet, tibi non li­cet.
Ter. in Hea­ut.

The blindness of Pagans and Infi­dels excuses a part of their crime. They may say with one of their Po­ets.

Sed partem nostri criminis error habet.
Ovid. Trist. L. 3. El. 5.
Part of my crime was caused by mistake.

But nothing can excuse us Christi­ans: and we should be so much the more faulty to live with the same remission, as we have a perfect know­ledge of the will of God; of ver­tues and vices; of what is necessary to be done, and what to be avoided in order to attain to salvation.

The Jews of the first Christian Penticost, after having been convict­ed of infidelity and felony against Je­sus [Page 81]Christ by a Sermon of St. Peter, cried out in the motions of their sad­ness: Men and Brethren, what shall we do? If the things which I have re­presented to you concerning the sin of Incontinence have an influance up­on you and you ask me just in the same manner, what you must do to avoid it, I answer to you in the first place what St. Peter replied to the Jews, Repent. There is no method more secure than that, in order to put of entirely the bondage of the passions; or to say better, it is the only one whose success is infallible to that end. When a man is truly converted, he has a holy dislike of himself. He de­tests his precedent conversation. He has a horrour for his crime. He finds no further pleasure, but in the enjoy­ment of his God. He has a disgust for all the vain delights of the flesh. David, Magdelain, and St. Austin are great and admirable examples hereof. I reply to you in the second place, Marry. In effect, although there is no condition happy enough to be per­fectly exempt from all the blots of In­continence, and that a thousand mar­ried [Page 82]persons fail not to render them­selves faulty, yet it must be granted that Marriage is that of all conditions of Man, wherein he may best be cu­red. 'Tis what St. Paul instructs us in that exhortation, which he makes to all men: To avoid Fornication, says he, let every man have his own Wife, and every Woman her own Husband. This, Sir, shall be the sub­ject of my Third Part.

OF THE MOTIVES. Which might reasonably Induce Men to MARRY. PART. III.

MEthinks, Sir, to repre­sent to an honest Man the Excellency of Marriage, and the Infamy of Inconti­nence; the great ad­vantages of the one, and the dread­ful horrors of the other, were enough to produce in him an inclination to [Page 84]marry without any further enlarge­ment. Neverthelss there are divers. o [...]her Motives which may dispose them to it: and they appear to me conside­rable enough to make a particular part of this Treatise.

To begin where I finish'd the other, you ought to observe that Marriage is an essential remedy to Incontinence. Whatsoever you do to subdue your flesh, and to allay the fire of its lust, you will not easily accomplish it with­out Marriage. Retirements, Fastings, Disciplines, Macerations, may lessen part of the forces of this formidable enemy, but not absolutely overcome him. Without a particular favour of Heaven, he will always triumph over your power; and in spite of all the ca [...]es of your piety, you'll find it hard enough to avoid falling into one of the Fornications I have dis­coursed of. Nothing but Marriage can naturally cure you. That's the true Antidote against this mortal Poyson. I repeat it once more: To avoid Fornication, let every Man have his Wife, and every Woman her Husband. Ought any one to qusti­on [Page 85]after this the efficacy of Marri­age, to deliver us from this perni­cious malady? should we not believe an Apostle, who brought all he has said to us from the third Heaven, and who has given us nothing but what he received from the Lord himself? who could judge better than he, of our necessities? I am surprised that after so express an Order to Marry, and so authentick a testimo­ny of the necessity of Marriage in reference to Salvation, there should be a single man in the world, that can have it in contempt.

This is so much the more ama­zing, as this Order is as ancient as the World. It is not from St. Paul. It is from God himself. As soon as he had formed Man, he gave him a Wife. He married him. And he commanded all his descendents to marry. Jesus Christ has renewed the precept under the Gospel. I don't pretend, Sir, that this command is absolute and obligatory for all men, as some have been of opinion. A man doth not absolutely disobey God in remaining a Batchelour, provided [Page 86]that he lives piously in that state. How many persons are there, who are improper for Marriage? But I affirm that herein God was pleased to let us know, that it is a condition very agreeable to him, and is ex­treamly necessary to fulfill all the du­ties of humanity, and to accomplish all the ends of our Creation. The Apostle discovers in it another ad­vantage for Man, that is yet more important: To wit, as I have said, that it may much contribute to make him live piously in causing him to avoid Incontinence. Insomuch that he answers at the same time, both the end of Nature, which is to mul­tiply men: and the end of Grace, which is to sanctifie them.

Let us assert then of Marriage with relation to the men of the world, that it is the true path of wisdom; that there is no condition more secure for man, and that

Caelera caeca via est.
The other is an obscure path.
Ovid. amor.

Nevertheless I am not unacquaint­ed with those words of our Saviour, Sunt qui se castraverunt propter regnum caelorum. Mat. 19. As there is an infinite number of Libertines within the sa­cred Bonds of Marriage, it is not to be question'd but that in the engage­ment of vows there is also a great many persons, who live in an exem­plary purity. I respect their Char­acter, and have a veneration for their virtue. But besides that all men can­not become Hermits, nor espouse a Convent: and that the number of those who do, is very small in compari­son of those who do not, who knows not the difficulty which the great­est Saints have had to vanquish the stings of the flesh, and to preserve an incorruptible Celi­bacy.

'Tis certain that what is most diffi­cult to observe is the Law of Con­tinence. Perhaps the best man of the world doth not acquit himself of his duties with all the exactness of the Sanctuary. This saying of the Son of God is but too true, That which is [Page 88]born of the Flesh is Flesh. As I have often remarked in the precedent parts, nothing is more infirm than Man. The sight of a Woman, that is to say, a handful of dust; of a thing which at the bottom is nothing but a heap of rottenness and corruption with relation to that body which is adored, easily puts an end to all his constan­cy, and makes him oftentimes forget all his wisdom.

Omiser as hominum mentes!
O pectora caeca!
O miserable minds of man,
Lucret.
Oh! blind understand­ing.

What ought to persuade us more, that Marriage is a remedy good for all men in general, and that the Cre­ator who ordained it, knew very well that nothing was more necessary for us? It was said long ago, Qui abhoret a societate conjugali, vel Angelus est, vel. stirpes. One must be either in­sensible, or above sensibility to be able to pass by this Matrimonial Union.

I cannot forbear, Sir, at present to improve the usefulness, to say no worse, of the Celebacy of Lay-men. If it be a virtue, certainly 'tis none of the most considerable. It is even of the nature of those, which very of­ten lead the way to vice. What ad­vantage doth it bring to them, unless it be to expose them to great temp­tations? unless it be to deprive them of a very commodious assistant, such as a Wife is? unless it be to renounce the sweetest of Societies? And this, for I know not what difficulties they frame to themselves; whereof one part is purely imaginary, another is tyed to all the conditions of life, and the rest is nothing in comparison of the real pleasures of Marriage. What advantages likewise return from thence to the Republick? People are oftener scandalised than improved thereby, and very often are seen examples of them, which more deserve our hor­rour, than our imitation. I speak of worldly Batchelors, and of such as are withdrawn from the world, and consecrated to the Almighty.

The most favourable judgment that one can make of the wisest Celeba­cy is, that it is a virtue which doth neither good nor evil. Now for this reason that it is without action, one may say that it is a kind of vice: for according to Cicero, Virtutis laus omnis in actione consist it. From whence comes this of Silius the Italian.

Actio si desit, virtus est futile no­men.
Virtue's a useless Name without practice.

Celibacy then has nothing but the name of Virtue. It has neither the effect, nor the truth of it. It is a sim­ple quality, which is very often found­ed upon the temper and constitution of bodies; or (which is of less im­portance) upon the maxims of a car­nal prudence.

After all man was made for So­ciety. Non solum nobis nati sumus. Cic. L. 2. We are not born for our selves on­ly. It is not good that man should be alone, says God himself.

[Page 91]
Est opus auxilio — says Ovid.
we have need of help.
Tristis cris, si solus eris:
You'l be sorrowful if your alone.

The testimony of a single person is of no account amongst Lawyers. Vox unius, vox nullius. And as the Father of Philosophers says, two are better than one, both for council and action. Duo simul viven­tes & intelligere & agere sunt potentiores quam unus. Arist. L. 8. Eth. The Divinity it self which is but one in essence, is notwithstanding more than one in person. And why has God created two Sexes in Nature, if it was not to make us understand that one is necessary to the other, and that they cannot subsist with­out being joyned together. Are not all living creatures bent that way by a natural inclination? Is it not this mutual love of males for females, and females for males, thet multi­plies their Species, and preserves the world?

[Page 92] Nec caeant pecudes, si le­vis absit amor.
Ovid.

If we beleive the Naturalists, this desire extends to insensible things. They tell us of divers Plants that can neither encrease nor fructifie without company, as the Palm amongst others. And can Man after this with­out violating in some measure the rights of Nature, despise his union with Woman, that is to say, what she has of most compleat and charming? Tis true, as the Ancients say, that Man is of a nature absolutely He­roical, that can innocently excuse him­self from her. But how ridiculous and unjust is he, add they, that de­spise Marriage, the first and purest of Societies?

But, Sir, if you would know the real motives of Marriage, you are only to consider Man with relation to the four bodies, whereof he is composed. I shall call the first, The Body Natural. The second, The Body Politick. The third, The Bo­dy Domestick. And the fourth, The [Page 93]Body Ecclesiastick. Mankind, State, Family, and Church are these four Bodies. With relation to mankind, he is Man. To the State he is Citi­zen. To the Family he is Son. And to the Church, he is Faithful. These four qualities put him equally under the obligigation of Marriage. As Man he ought to labour for the pro­pagation of mankind. As Citizen, for the preservation of the Common-wealth. As Son he ows Successors to his Family; and as Faithful, he owes Elect ones to the Church. Marriage is absolutely necessary to fulfill all these duties, and to discharge all these en­gagements. They ought to be ex­plain'd to you more at length.

To begin with the first point; It is certain that every Animal is oblig'd to interest himself in the conservation of his Species, but particularly Man, who is king of all. Tis for him that all the rest were made: and without him the world would be but a frightfull So­litude. For this reason God com­manded him to increase and multiply immediately after his Creation. And for the same reason he inspir'd him [Page 94]with the desire of it, and gave him that eager inclination of Cooperating with another Sex, wherewith all men, as I have said, are naturally transport­ed. It must be granted that there is nothing in nature either so violent, or so necessary. Without this love, wheres that man that would converse with woman? wheres the woman, that would endure man? But to the end that no abuse might be made there­of, God has assigned it bounds, he has fixed it between two persons, he has confined it to the sacred laws of Mar­riage. Be it as it will, if it is mans duty to increase his Species, it is no less his duty to marry since one can­not reasonably be done without the other.

Man may be considered in a double sence, vel Physice, vel Theologice. In the Theological prospect nothing is more dispisable, it's true, 'tis a re­volted Subject. It is a sinful crea­ture. It is an object of Horror to Heaven and Earth. It is a composi­tion of crimes and miseries. Man, says the Prophet, in this respect, is nothing but Vanity. If one should [Page 95]weigh him with nothing he would be found even lighter. They are all, says he elsewhere, cor­rupted, and become abo­minable by their works. Psal. 14.1. There is not one doth good. But in the Physical and Natural sence, what is more admirable than Man? O God, said the same David, What is Man that thou shouldst remember him; and the Son of Man that thou shouldst be so careful of him. Thou hast made him but a little less than the Angels. Thou hast crowned him with glory and ho­nour. Thou hast given him the Empire of all things here below. In this re­spect the Philosopher regards him as the end of all Creatures. Nos sumus quodam modo sinis omnium. Arist. St. Austin likewise instructs us that all things are comprised in him. In homine est om­nis creatura; He considers him as the miracle of Nature. Homo magnum est miraculum. And our eloquent Ci­cero will have him to be of more worth than all other creatures together. Ho­mo caeteris animalibus longe praestat. I add that this same Theology, which les­sens [Page 96]him so much, when it considers him in the irregularities of Nature, exalts him to the highest Heaven; to the society of Angels; to the glory of Eternity, when it considers him in those Priviledges which Grace con­fers upon him. Man then is without dispute what there is most precious and recommendable in the world. And yet it is the fruit of Marri­age. It is from thence it derives its Original. What greater motive can one present him with in order to dis­pose him to it.

Every one naturally covets to sig­nalize himself in the imployment he professeth; and to perform those things which may procure him the commen­dation of Posterity. Twas this am­bition that gave us the Speeches of a Demosthenes; the Orations of a Ci­cero, and so many other master-pieces of the mind, which we read with so much pleasure. What else has made im­mortal the Apelles, the Michael-Angeli, the Titians, and all those other famous Artists of Antiquity, whose works the curious still buy and value more than Gold. And, what! if man is so [Page 97]much affected at the glory of making, either a good book, or an excellent Picture, or a curious Statue, is it possi­ble that he should be insensible of the glo­ry of composing Men? that is to say, o­ther selves; that is to say, most lively I­deas of the Divinity; such noble frames, that all the Gold of the Indies can never purchase, and are of more account than the world it self? What can be more admirably noble than this ambition? If man in particular is of so great price, of what esteem should all in general be? And if the desire of giving some individuals to Human­kind, ought to dispose us for Marri­age, how much more the preservation of his whole body, which absolutely depends thereon? The single use of reason in Beasts (if one may say they have reason) is to secure their lives from dangers; but its great use in men is to multiply theirs, and to en­crease their kinds. Ʋniversis animali­bus data est ratio: brutis tantum ad vi­tam tuendam: Homini autem ad propa­gandam, says Actantius.

Those good Sparks of the Town, who know so well the use of Women, will not fail to say that one may with­out [Page 98]Marriage accomplish this end of Nature. They not only say it but put it in practice. Without going any further, those Hospitals that have been so wisely set up at Paris to receive the fruits of their debauchery are too sencible testimonies of it to make the least doubt. O God! how ma­ny Maidens ruined, how many Fa­malies dishonoured by those lascivious Libertines, what crimes, what abomi­nations, what iniquities are committed in the world upon this subject?

Heu, heu perpetuo debuit illa legi.
Ovid Tast. l. 4.

My reply to this false reasoning is this, that one can never lawfully use Women out of Marriage under any pretence whatsoever. I have sufficient­ly proved it in my second part. Cicero says very well that man is the only creature that is brought forh with mo­desty and shame. Hoc solum animal, natum pudoris ac verecun­diae particeps. Cic. de. finib. But if we should believe those per­sons, no animal would enjoy less. In effect, what is more impudent than all [Page 99]those Whoremongers of profession, who avoid Marriage only to indulge them­selves the more in this filthy pleasure? there are no kind of infamies which they don't commit. They make no consci­ence of any thing. For, says the Apostle, It would be even indecent to say those things which are done by them in secret. Eph. 5. Un­happy Sinners, who oppose the most na­tural of their duties only to confirm themselves in the most criminal of ha­bits! whatsoever they may assert, as the multiplication of Men is the undoubted end of Marriage, it is certain that Mar­riage is the only means it has ordained, and whereof it will make use to that end. In its pure maxims all other ways of peopling the world are unlawful and prohibited. 'Tis what she has even im­printed in the hearts of all honest men. Those States, that acted only by their Principles, and to whom the orders of God were unknown, have not ceased to recommend Marriage as the most neces­sary of Societies: and to forbid Incon­tinence as the shame of humanity. I have already made it appear, there needs no more upon this head.

But, Sir, if we would be intirely con­vinced, that For [...]ication, Polygamy, and Concubine-keeping are no lawful ways of multiplying men, and that nothing more displeases Heaven, consider the Countries where these kinds of Liberties are permitted. Do you imagine that the Jews, the Mahometans, and the Pagans, who live in all these disorders, encrease their Species more than the Christians, who abhor them? It is certain that they are even less fertile. Did you never make reflection upon the Sheep and the Wolves? The first produce but once a year, and only one Lamb at each time. Notwithstanding altho' an infinite num­ber of them is eaten every day, the earth is covered with them. The last on the other side generate many times a year, and bring forth no less than six or seven little ones. Besides being impro­per for the nourishment of men, their number is not lessened for this use. And yet we know that there are but few of them seen in comparison of Sheep. Who makes a doubt that there is a par­ticular Providence therein? It is exact­ly the same with all those prohibited U­nious, whereof I have treated, and with lawful Marriage. Who would not say [Page 101]that Turkey, Persia, Japan, and all those other Countrys where it is permitted to have several Wives, and various Con­cubines, must be infinitely populous? and yet they are less numerous than Eu­rope. Altho' the Bed of Christians con­sists but of two persons, it doth not cease to be much more fertile, than that of all these Infidels, as manifold as it is. There is no appearance of reason in refering this to the single climate and particular constitution of Men. There is without dispute somewhat of mystery therein. God and nature were pleased to let us know by the same, that the union of one man with one single woman is the real method one must pursue for the propo­gation of mankind Do we not know likewise that almost all those Whores and debanch'd Women, who are the scandal of their Sex, are barren, and that the greatest part of them need not make use of a thousand sorts of criminal ways to become so, as they do every day? It re­mains then to conclude that nothing but Marriage can really and lawfully accom­plish this first end of Nature, and there­fore it is of indispensible obligation to Men.

The quality of Citizens of the world, and members of the State, is a reason of no less force to dispose them to it. Ari­stotle says that Man is an Animal natu­rally politick. This is very true. Scarce were Men upon the Earth but they thought how to erect themselves into a Body, into a Common-wealth, and in­to a Kingdom. The most barbarous peo­ple have voluntarily submitted them­selves either to a Monarchy, or to an Aristocracy, or else to a Democracy. Monarchy without doubt is the best of the three, because it comes nearest to the Divinity. But they are all lawful and permitted of God; add, Sir, that they are all likewise very necessary.

Nothing is more fatal to Society than Anarchy. Where there is no Superior all the world aims at being so. Men live in an eternal confusion. The Laws are dispossessed of their Authority. Every one leads himself by his own fancy, and the impunity of a crime causes so pro­digious a relaxation in manners, that one sees nothing but Seditions, Murders, Rapes, Cicer. pro Mi­lone. and Violences. Quis ignorat maximam illecebram esse peccandi impunitatis Spes? How excellent, I beseech you, ought that [Page 103]good to be which is opposed to so great an evil? If Anarchy is the principle of so many disorders to mankind, what advantages doth he not reap from Mon­archy, and those other politick Govern­ments, whereof I have spoken? In a word, what can one imagine to be of more importance for him, then the holy State of Marriage, which alone furnish­es him with Subjects and Soveraigns for those many Empires of the world, which retain men in the duty of concord, cor­respondence, and Justice?

In all times that man has been esteem­ed very happy and worthy of the prais­es of posterity, who exposes himself for the safety of the Republick.

Dulce & decoru prom Patria mori.
Horat. Car. l. 3. c. 2.
'Tis charming and noble to dye for our Country.

But if it be glorious to dye for his Country, methinks it should be much more to live and to marry for its sake. A Father that presents it with five or six Children brought up in virtue, contri­butes oftentimes much more to its pre­servation, than a Captain who has secu­red it from a hundred Enemies. 'Tis [Page 104]certain then, that man is under a double obligation to labour, both for the pro­pogation of mankind and the subsistence of that state wherein he is engaged. If Marriage is necessary for the one, it is no less for the other. The best way of serving his Prince and Country doubt­less is to furnish him with a great num­ber both of brave Subjects and wise Cit­izens, sit for those uses which may ad­vantage the Publick.

This consideration has been a motive to several People of the World not only to speak of Marriage with praise, but also to reward its fertillity with magni­ficence. The Romans appointed publick honours to those women, who had brought into the world seven or eight Children; and with a Pension that an­swered the Glory of their Empire, they gave a place in the Capitol to their Sta­tues. In effect, Marriage as I have said, is the safety of the Republick; since it is the only Nursery from whence proceeds all its Captains, all its Magistrates, all its Hand craf [...]smen, and in a word all those different sorts of Subjects, whose various imployments and perpetual Sub­ordination one to the other make up the sub­sistance of States, and of the whole World. As much then as Man is concerned in his own preservation, and that of his Country, so much is he obliged to Marry.

If this general Interest ought to dis­pose Man for Marriage, there is a parti­cular one that obliges him to it much more: It is the Interest of his Family. What would become of that without Marriage? one Generation would see it begin and end. The quality of Father, which is in life most worthy of our am­bition, would appertain but to few Per­sons. What ought we to esteem dearer than our Blood? and what nobler Jealou­sie can we be inflamed with than to leave behind us a numerous Posterity? Why, do you imagine, has Nature given Men an inclination to labour, to occasion them­selves a thousand Cares, and a thousand Difficulties to heap up Riches, a hundred times more than they ought for them­selves? I make no doubt but it is because she has likewise given them an Inclination to multiply, and to produce Children, to whom they leave the fruits of their watch­ings and industry. One may affirm that this is the design of all honest Men, even those Batchelors that collect great Rich­es, very often do it for the Advancement of their Nephews, and always from a Prospect of supporting their Families.

There is nothing perhaps more reaso­nable than this Duty: If we believe St. Paul, He is worse than an Infidel who is unmindful of his Family. Do not sup­pose, Sir, that he has regard only to those who neglect the Subsistence and Education of their Children: He speaks likewise of those, who being uncapable of preserving Continence, neglect the means of having any; and who rather than Marry, choose to let their Race be extinguished, and to efface their Names from the Memory of Men. Worse than an Infidel; O good God! what can be worse than an Infidel in the World, that is to say, than a Turk or a Pagan? It must be granted, that the Apostle could never more expresly recommend Marri­age, than by expressing himself in that manner. But it must be likewise agreed, that nothing ought to be more pressing to determine Men for it: For in a word, what has been long since asserted, is very true;

Filii sunt Columnae familiarum.
Children are the Pillars of Families.

[Page 143]Children are the only support of Fami­lies, without them they must of Necessity fall, they must be reduced to nothing.

What was more insupportable to the Jews, than the Unfruitfulness of their Wives, or their own: They lookt upon it as a sort of Curse, and they valued not all the other Advantages of Life, while they were deprived of the Blessing of Children. Consider, in Genesis, the Complaints of a Sarah and a Rachel upon this Occasion. I know very well that the sending of the Messias, who had been promis'd to our first Parents, was to these Persons a particular Motive to desire Children, every one hoping to re­ceive in his Family that invaluable Pre­sent of Heaven. But I am sensible at the same time that many of them sigh'd after Successors from the single Prospect of contributing somewhat to the Subsist­ence of their Nation and Family, and that they only requested Children because they lookt upon them as the most excel­lent Possession of the World, as indeed they are. 'Tis what the Psalmist nobly represents to us, in the 127th. Psalm.

The Israelites were so violently fond of having Children, that they appre­hended there could be no severer Punish­ment for them than to pass away their Lives either in Barrenness or Celibacy. God has taken away my Reproach, said Rachel, when she was delivered of Jo­seph her first-born. The Daughter of Jephtah likewise declares to us the same thing; Judges 11. this un­happy Father having for the accomplishment of his rash vow condem­ned her to the civil death of a perpetual Retreat, according to the opinions of the best Authors; She requested of him a Damosel or two in order to go and la­ment her Virginity for two Months. A­mongst a thousand things she had to re­gret in leaving the world, she esteems nothing more worthy of her tears, than to have been unmarried and incapable of marrying. I am perswaded that the Bat­chelors had the same desire for Marri­age as the Maidens had, and that both Sexes were under an equal passion for this condition of life. We may inferr it from the prodigious multiplication of the family of Jacob in Egypt. When it [Page 145]went down there, it was composed but of seventy persons in all, and when they departed from thence four hundred and thirty years after, they were six hundred thousand Men, without com­puting Women and Children, Exod. 12.37. who in all appearance amoun­ted to twice or thrice the num­ber, as it is easy to imagine. Prodigious and scarce to be believed but in suppo­sing what is true! and that no People ever so much loved, or practifed Marriage, as this ancient People, and that they confin'd themselves under it's pleasing chains, almost as soon as they distinguish'd reason. This People, Sir, was the Peo­ple of God; whom he tenderly loved; a People, whom he lookt upon as his most valuable Treasure. A People, for whom he multiplied every day the won­ders of his Providence and Wisdom. In a word, a People who ought by conse­quence to serve for an Example to all o­ther People upon the Subject of Marri­age, which was in the midst of them, and so much recommended and blest of God.

What, do you suppose, David calls the greatest of the blessings of God up­on earth? It is neither Riches, nor Ho­nours, nor even a Crown. He passes beyond all this without haesitation. The happiness which he engages to him that fears God, is to have a fruitful Bed and a numerous Posterity. Would you know, Sir, those two men, of all those whom the Scripture speaks of, that I esteem to have been the most happy of the world? Do not imagine that it is either a David, or a Solomon, or an Hezekiah. They are Ibzan and Abdon. If you ask me the reason, Judges. 12.9.14. you may read it in the Book of the Judg­es of Israel, in whose num­ber are they. There you will find con­cerning the first, that he had thirty Sons and thirty Daughters. And of the second, that he had forty Sons and thirty Grand-Children, whom he saw all together on horse-back. What can be a greater hap­piness to a Father? What can be more observable in the life of a man? It is likewise true, that the sacred Author in speaking to us of those two famous Cap­tains, contents himself to report this sin­gle [Page 147]circumstance of them; which in my opinion goes beyond all the great deeds of Caesar and Alexander.

You may apprehend it as you please, but to me it seems that such a geniture contains somewhat very noble in it, and that one cannot be observed in the History of Men through a finer place. It must be granted that these Men well understood the Art of immortalizing their Families. What, Sir, will not so great an Exam­ple encourage you to look after the Sub­sistence of yours? would you suffer it to perish with your Name for want of mar­rying? will you always entertain a re­pugnance for Marriage? will you never divest your self of those false Ideas, you have conceiv'd thereof? will you always be ingenious to frame to your self, in order to remove your self from it, such punishments as do not exist, which I shall make appear in the sequel? and will you never be convinced of those real delights which I have shewn to be in that state, and which ought to attract the whole world? It is the only advan­tage that is wanting to your happiness. But assure your self, that without this all [Page 148]the rest is of no value. As well provi­ded as you are with the goods of For­tune and Morals, can you fail to please your self in Hymen, and to partake of pleasures a thousand times more affect­ing than those which can be found in the happiest Celibacy? How much satis­faction shall you give to those illustrious persons, to whom you owe all things with your being? what glory shall you not obtain by adding to their comfort what they desire with the utmost zeal? can you decently refuse them this mark of your acknowledgment? must they go down to the grave without seeing a young Sprig shoot forth from you, that may assure them their Name and Blood will not perish with you? will you give them cause to make this sad complaint of you?

Tecum una tota est nostra Sepul­ta domus.
Catull. ad Mal. 69.
Grisly Grave is buried our whole house.

Spare them this heaviness, and your self this confusion. Do not render your self guilty of your own annihilation. Be­come jealous of your glory. Determine [Page 149]your self at last to this generous action, whereof one might truly say with re­gard to your family,

Tota domus laeta est, paterque, materque,
The whole family rejoyces.

Hearken to the Precept of a wise man,

Ne maneas sine nuptiis, ne sine no­mine pereas,
Phocil.
Live not unmarry'd, lest you dy without a name.

An ancient Author of Paganism, it is Musonius, examining the Motives of Mar­riage, finds none more pressing than those I have offered. After having much en­larged upon this matter, and in a wise and eloquent way, he at length concludes his discourse with these words: Quis­quis igitur homines nuptiis privat, is abolet familiam, Muson apud Stobaeum, Serm. 186. civitatem, & totum genus humanam, quod absque gene­ratione non potest permane­re, ut neque justa & legitima generatio si­ne nuptijs. Since then without a conti­nual Series of Generations, Families, [Page 150]Common-wealths, and all humane Kind would be absolutely annihilated, and that Marriage is the sole lawful cause of these Generations, according to the re­mark of this learned man, judge of the obligation you are under to marry. The heavenly voice seems to call you to it. Resist no longer its Vocation. But to the end that you may know all the En­gagements you are under to pay obe­dience to it, make some reflections, if you please, upon the quality of the faith­ful, which you have taken into the bo­som of the Church.

This, Sir, is the greatest motive, which ought to determine you for Mar­riage. It even recollects in it self all the rest. What do you take the Church to be? It is according to St. Paul, the City of the living God, Jeru­salem from on high, Heb. 12.22.23. the Mother of us all. The Assembly of the first-born whose names are writ­ten in the Heavens. 1 Tim. 5. [...]5. The Pil­lar and Support of Truth. The house of God. The Common-wealth of Israel, according to the Spirit.

The divine Family, whereof God is the Father, Jesus Christ the eldest Son, and the Elect the younger ones, if one may be allowed to speak so. Tell me, I beseech you, if in all these regards, there is any thing more precious in the world, than the Church? Tell me like­wise if there is any thing, to whose Sub­sistence men are more obliged to contri­bute? What are all our Interests in com­parison of that? If you ask me the true reason, that ought to make us desire the propagation of Mankind, the duration of States, and the Conservation of Fami­lies: It is nothing else but the Subsistence of the Church, which is infinitely more excellent than the World, and all its So­cieties. This ought to be the chiefest end of all our Vows, and all our Cares.

How ought a Christian, do you think, to endeavour the advancement of this Mystical Empire of Jesus Christ, the exaltation of his Reign; the Subsi­stence of his Church? He may, Sir, acquit himself of this Duty in a double manner; both by Passion and by Action: First, he must suffer, he must mortify [Page 152]himself. In the Second place, it is ne­cessary that he labour, and put himself in action for her. Now of all the Acti­ons that may contribute to this end, Mar­riage is without doubt the principal: Since it is the natural and material cause of the faithful, without which all moral causes would be absolutely useless.

When Moses built his Tabernacle, the Men and Women contributed volunta­rily and with great Zeal, all that was necessary for its construction. What scan­dal would it be for Christians not to do for the Truth, what the Jews did for the Figure? Those people dispossessed them­selves with pleasure of the most preci­ous things they had, in order to enrich that ancient Tent of the Desart. What should not we perform then for the glo­ry of this Divine Tabernacle, which God has planted, and not Man? But Sir, the question here is neither of Gold, nor Sil­ver, precious Stones. or fine Linnen, Pur­ple, or Scarlet. The Tabernacle of the Church is not composed of dead and in­sensible things. Brutal and Inanimate Stones enter not into its construction. There must be living ones for that end. [Page 153]There must be faithful Men. There must be reasonable creatures. There must be Christians sanctified by the asper­sion of the blood of Christ. 1 Pet. 1, 2.16. How glorious is it for a Fa­ther or Mother to contribute a great number of these living Stones for the Edification and Conservation of the Church? Marriage is the only quarry, from whence they must be had. God allows of no other. Indeed they are not in a condition proper to build this holy structure. My Mother conceived me in sin, and brought me forth in iniquity, says Da­vid. If we refer our selves even to the Satyrick Poet, he will likewise instruct us in what the Scripture every where tells us, that all Men are born with Sin.

Nam vitijs nemo sine nascitur.
Horat. Serm. L. 1. Sat. 3.

But here Grace is added to Nature. Marriage makes Men: And of these men God makes his Elect. Insomuch that it is ever true to say in a certain sense, that Marriage makes the Elect, which are members of the Church; since it is the Organon of Nature to bring them into the world, and that Grace which rege­nerates [Page 154]them, acts upon them only as up­on works of this very Nature. In this prospect it is scarce possible to express the excellency of Marriage, and what strong engagements men are under to marry.

Philosophers say, that a Being may de­stroy it self two ways, by Substraction, and by privation of means; either in do­ing things contrary to its Subsistence, or in omitting those things which are neces­sary to it. Pharaoh destroyed the Church of Israel in the first manner: And those who live unmarried now a days, destroy the Christian Church in the second. That barbarous King by causing all the Male Children of the Jews to be thrown into the Nile, rendred their propagation fruitless; and those who remain in the state of sin­gle men, as far as they can, make it im­possible. So that the Church is not be­holding to them for its subsistence. This Doctrine is even conformable to the ex­pressions of Scripture, which says, that he who doth not prevent a mans death by furnishing him with means to live, kills him. If this Theology be true, as we must not question it, I can hardly con­ceive [Page 155]how all those obstinate and profes­sed Batchelors should not be amazed thereat. What greater misfortune could arrive to them, than not only to have performed nothing for the Glory and Advantage of this undefiled Spoufe of our Saviour, which cost him his life; but al­so to have laboured for its destruction by not doing what is capable to preserve it? Where is the State, where is the Fami­ly, where is the Society, more worthy to subsist than the Church? All the rest is supported only for her sake. Co­lumna est Orbis Ecclesia, The World, this unhappy World, which so outra­giously persecutes her, would be destroy­ed without this daughter of Heaven. It is preserved only to give place to the ful­ness of the Elect. So soon as they are all in the Essence of things, adieu to the world. Heavens! What afflictions should not those old Batchelors undergo for not having contributed to its conformation?

But Sir, one of those things which ought, methinks, to be most prevailing with you for Marriage, is, that you will infallibly marry at one time or other. Sooner or later you will be inclined to it. [Page 156]It is with Marriage, as with new fashions. At first they appear insupportable? But by little and little the eyes are accusto­med to them, and at length one submits to them with others. How many men likewise do we observe, who after having long declamed against Marriage, fail not to confine themselves under its laws? Are you ignorant that those who speak of it, as of a folly, say that it must be done once in a mans life? That Poet so know­ing in the Art of Love, whom I have al­ready cited so often, tells us with a grace that Venus never loses her rights, and that all men are tributary to her.

Et Venus ex tota gente tributa petit.
Ovid. Ep. 4.
Venus claims Tribute from all the amorous Race.

If you are not in Love whilst you are young, you must necessarily love being old. If not to day, you must of Course to morrow.

Cras amet,
Catul. Pri­vil. Ven.
qui nunquam ama­vit.

The same Ovid observes likewise what is very true that the later Love appears, the more violent it is.

Venit amor graviùs, quo scriùs.
Ep. 4.

Would you, Sir, deferr your Marri­age to age to a time, wherein you'll be unfit to marry? to a time, wherein passion is as it were unactive? to a time wherein the blood is congealed in the Veins? If Marriage is a sort of folly, 'tis certainly a double one in that decrepit age, where­in a man is good for nothing but to be­wail the dismal Wast of years; where­in by the weakness of Nature, he can­not walk without the support of a Stick; wherein a defenceless impotence confines him to the Empire of a young wife; ‘Sponso Seni mulier juvencula imperat.’

Wherein the Body being crack'd by the severe Efforts of age, is no longer a­ble to support its members, to speak with another Poet.

[Page 158]
Ʋbi jam validis quassatum viri­bus aevi
Corpus,
Lucret. L. 3.
& obtusis ceciderunt viri­bus artus.

Who makes a doubt, that marriage in this case is not a real punishment? If it be true then, that you are destin'd for Marriage: If your Inclination must dis­pose you to it one day: If you are un­able to avoid its yoak, as a thousand Ex­amples and a thousand Reasons seem to perswade: Is it not for your interest, Sir, as well as Prudence, to defer the du­ty of it no longer? why should you not do that to day, which you necessarily must to morrow? why should you drive off to the end of you life, a thing, which, that I may so speak, ought to be fulfilled in the beginning?

I could make this appear to you, Sir, in a very convincing manner, by the con­sideration of the great advantages, that a happy Marriage brings to man; but as it is a Subject which I have enlarged upon in my first part, I will not make this of a longer extent. The single reflection [Page 159]that I shall add, is, that it has always been of universal belief, that a good and ver­tuous Wife is the rarest of all treasures, and the sweetest of possessions.

Nihil, O Cyrene, suavius uxore bonâ!
There is nothing, O Cyrenus, more charm­ing than a good wife.

Solomon says of this man, that he has found a mighty good, and received of God a singular Favour. He assures him that it is the only advantage he ought to esteem in this life, and the sweetest recompence of all his disquiets.

To make an end of convincing you, shall I alledge yet, that the life of the wisest Batchelor comes much nearer to Libertinism, than that strict Wisdom which is the essential character of an ho­nest man, and which has rendred the So­crates's, and the Cato's so famous in the Greck and Roman Histories? He that is without a Wise, will ramble here and there. Who would confide in a man, that has no Nest, Eccl. c. 36. and that lays him down wheresoever the Night comes upon him? [Page 160]It is certain that Marriage is of extream service to retain a man in his Duty, and that it makes him avoid a thousand oc­casions to remove himself from it, which are very ordinary with Batchelors. As I have said, we naturally love the Society of Women. So that if a man has not one of his own, he without difficulty per­swades himself to go and seek out others abroad. He sees them, he courts them, he endeavours to get himself beloved by them, and oftentimes he succeeds but with too much easiness. The handsomer they are, the greater is the danger for both. Our Ecclesiastical Author says, that many have been seduced by the Beauty of the wife. From whence come all those Domestick Disorders which ren­der the condition of so many Husbands and Fathers unhappy; and which is owing to the wantonness of these wicked Batchelors, who by frequent Visits and criminal inventions, have found out a means to corrupt the vertue of their Wives and Daughters?

How many of them are there, whose conversations are still much more infa­mous, and who make no scruple of fre­quenting [Page 161]all those nasty places, which are unfit to be named, in order to sa­tisfy their Lusts with those professed Whores, who ridicule them after they have obtain'd their money, and of whom a Poet so well expresses, ‘Te tenet, absentes alios sus­pirat amores. Tibull. L. 1. El. 7.

If it be true, that they are capable of loving: For if we believe St. Chrysostom, Meretrix amare nescit: There is none, Sir, but a real wife, that knows really how to love, and whose love is perma­nent and solid.

Amor perennis Conjugis castae manet.
Sen. Octav. Act. 1.

Add, that nothing is more unworthy of a reasonable creature, of the King of Ani­mals, of the Companion even of Angels, than this filthy conduct of the greatest part of single men. Add, that Marriage which usually frees men from it, is equally excellent and necessary. Add, that since they cannot forbear to love the Sex, that man is very happy who is possess'd at [Page 162]home and not abroad of what he loves, as Terrence so well declares.

O fortunatissime!
Terent. Phorm.
Cui quod amas domi est.

Add, in a word, that Lactantius has reason to exhort all those to mar­ry, who cannot overcome their passi­on, to the end that they may innocent­ly enjoy what they cannot without offence under Celibacy. Quisquis affe­ctus illos frenare non potest, cohibeat eos intra praescriptum legitimi Thori: Ʋt & illud, quod avoidè expetit, assequatur, & tamen non in peccatum incidet. I cannot better conclude this third part.

Fourth Part. Where the Objections which are made against Marriage, and the false Reasons which are ale­ledged to live Unmarried, are answered.

I Enter, Sir, into the greatest and most formidable battel that was ever given. To make no doubt hereof, you are on­ly to consider the Subject, the Parties, and the Arms. Marriage is the Subject. The business is to know whether it be useful and advantagious for Man, and conducive to his Happiness. A Question infinitely important, since it extends to the decision of the Fate of all Mankind. The Parties I have to engage with, are well near all men. There are but few on my side, the greatest part are combin'd against this holy Society, and have con­ceiv'd [Page 164]so strong an aversion against it, that they cannot bear to hear it commend­ed, nor forbear to say all that's ill con­cerning it. Never was Combat more un­equal. My adversaries are a thousand to one. Non unius urbis, sed universi orbis iniquam sententiam sustinet, says Tertul­lian. It is not only in one place, in one City, in one Kingdom, that Marriage is exclaim'd against, it is throughout all the Universe. As to the Arms of those, with whom I have to deal, they are composed of less Reason than Passion; and savour more of Invective than of Justice. But yet they are so much the more dangerous, as they are favoured both by the temper of men, and the appea­rance of things. When a man reflects upon the sweetness of Liberty, the sad perplexities of Marriage, and all those e­vil managements which afflict Society, who would not say that all our Detracters ought to depend on victory in the dis­pute I undertake against them?

But Sir, if Caesar discourages me, St. Bernard on the other side, enlivens me. When the occasion of the battel is just, says he, one cannot fail of succeeding in [Page 165]it with advantage, Si bona fuerit causae pugnantis, belli excituus malus esse non po­terit. Was there ever a cause juster than that which I defend? It is for the interest of all Men, all Families, and all Nations. It is likewise for a thing of great Conse­quence, whereon depends their happi­ness, and without which it is impossible for them to subsist. In a word, it is not for a Subject contrary to Law, or Reason. It is for a Subject approved of God, al­ways recommended by wise Men, requi­red by true Reason, agreeable to the na­ture of Man, and conformable to all sort of right and equity. If a man may pro­mise to himself the protection of Hea­ven in any attempt, surely he may in this.

To reply in order to those objections which are made against those propositions I have establish'd, one must immediately distinguish them into these three heads, to which in my esteem they may easily be re­duced. First, they object against the Con­duct and ill Temper of Wives, whereof they make a most severe censure. Second­ly, they say of Marriage, that it is of it self unworthy of Man, and that nothing less [Page 166]agrees with the perfection of his Being. And in the third place, they speak of its Consequences and Obligations, as of an in­supportable burden. I hope to make ap­pear that in all these respects the cause of my Adversaries is most deplorable, and that there is not only injustice, but even madness in the desence of it.

It is then by the consideration of Wo­men that men begin to be disgusted at Marriage. What disobliging things do they not assert of them? with what Ca­lumnies, and Aspersions do they tear their reputation, and their vertue? If one should believe them, there would not be a Vice in Morality, but ought to be im­puted to them: Nor a Misfortune in the world, whereof they are not the occasion.

Inconstancy, say they, is one of the principal characters of a woman.

Varium et mutabile semper Foemina.
Virg. Aene­id. 4.

Nothing is more volatile. She never stays long in the same Scituation. It ve­ry often happens that what she loved ye­sterday, she hates to day. The least [Page 167]thing which intervenes in her mind, makes her forget her promise; and violate her Faith. When you think your self to be most in her favour, you are most in dis­grace. After having sigh'd many years for the conquest of her heart, one single moment apprehends its loss. How ma­ny sad examples have we seen of this inconstant humour of the Sex? How can one confide in them after all this? Se­neca asks wherein wisdom consists. Quid est sapientia? He answers, Sem­per idem velle, atque idem nol­le. Ep. 20. It is, says he, to continue firm in his resolutions. Are women of this constitution?

Our Slanderers add, that the woman is born with a spirit of Contradiction. They make a cruel Commentary upon this text of a Poet.

Nolunt, ubi velis, ubi nolis cupi­unt ultró.
Terent.

When you are willing they are shy, when you fall off then they pursue on with strong desire.

The wife, say they, is only fit to make the husband miserable. She is eternal­ly repugnant to his opinions. If a man proposes Peace, it must be under the condition of surrendring his arms. She always insists upon her own terms. Which made an Authour say, that of all things uneasy to subdue, Woman is the chief.

Inter omnes alias res, maximè inexpugnabilis est mulier. Euripid ap. Stob. And altho' she is not born to rule, Mulieri non imperare concedit Natura, Pub. Max. yet man must submit to her. He must dispossess him­self of his Authority, or else there is no repose, no Union, no Concord; but a perpetual trouble and an immortal war. What more miserable Fate can a man have, than to pass his life in so se­vere a Slavery? These morose and whim­sical men, who can say nothing of wo­men, but what's injurious, still place in the rank of their evil Qualities, Malice, Dissimulation, a desire of Revenge, and a difficulty of restraining their Tongues, which makes them often tell what they [Page 169]know, and what they know not. In a word, say they, there are no sorts of miseries and vexations, but woman is capable of occasioning to man, as like­wise there are no crimes but she is able to commit.

Dux malorum foemina, & scelarum arti­fex.
Woman the Leader of Evils, and the Inventor of wickedness.

Judge after all this, if the wise man had not reason to prefer the Society of Lions and Dragons to that of an evil woman, and if there is any thing more judicious, than those words of Terence, ‘Verbum unum, cave de nuptijs. In Andr.

But one word with you, have a care of a conjugal Noose.

I ask pardon of the Ladies for ha­ving heap'd together so many outrages against them, and all those invectives wherewith they are defamed. It was not without extream violence to my self. As much as I love to speak well of them, [Page 170]so much pain is it to me to suffer them to be calumniated; but let them not be concerned at my Liberty, I hope it will be advantagious to them. The de­sign I have to protect their persecuted innocence, engaged me to it in an indis­pensable manner. 'Twas necessary to know whereof they were accused, in order to justify them. Behold then the principal heads of this great process which the disaffected of all Ages have entred against them. Let us see whe­ther they are well grounded therein; or rather let us observe (for who sees it not?) that they maintain therein the worst cause in the world; and that there is not a single person of them, but in the tribunal of an impartial justice ought to be condemn'd, to make reparation of honour to a Sex whose vertue every one ought to venerate, and not to assault its reputation?

A man may immediately justify the Women by way of recrimination. If they deserve to have defects imputed to them, are the Men exempt from them? if they have evil Qualities, are the men possessed of none but good ones? it will [Page 171]but ill become me, 'tis true, to aban­don the party of my own Sex. I know that in the order of nature, it has consi­derable prerogatives over the other, and that it is of a much more excellent kind. Masculinum neutraliter dignius est foemi­nino, says the Father of Philosophy. But if a man is never so little just, he must grant that all these priviledges singly refer themselves to the intellect and know­ledge of the mind. The Siences, 'tis true, are above their reach. They ad­mit themselves in this respect to be much inferiour to men: And confess that they are born for other things. Not but that this rare Genius, who deserv­ed to be called by a famous Author the Tenth Muse, Opusc. An­nae Mariae Schurman. P. 26. and who in our age has proved the glory of her sex, has ju­stified in a very convincing manner, by a discourse expresly made, that Fathers and Mothers are guilty of an extream injustice for allotting them the Spindle and the Needle, when they are by nature as well fitted for Arts and Dis­ciplines as Men, if they were push'd on. Be it as it will, the essential perfection of a reasonable creature doth nor con­sist [Page 172]in humane Sciences. Oftentimes they are more injurious than profitable. In­flat Scientia, says St. Paul. Sci­entia mundi docet vanitatem; Bern Cant. Sci­entia carnis voluptatem, says St. Bernard. And it is perhaps for this reason, that Tertullian alledges by way of Paradox,

Scire nihil, est omnia scire.
To know nothing, is to know all things.

'Tis certain then, that what distinguish­es man from Woman is not what is most important in him, but what he has in community with her; that is to say, Ver­tues, and Vices, which are of the nature of all kinds, of all Sexes, and of all Con­ditions. Virtus & Malitia determinat nobiles & ignobiles, servos & liberos, as Aristotle teaches. Now 'tis undeniable, that the man has not more of one, and less of others, than the woman. One may even affirm, that he has less vertue, and more vice. First, since he is a sub­ject more noble, and enlightned; vice is incomparably more notorious in him, than in the woman, as Juveual says, [Page 173]

Omne animi vitium tantô conspectius in se.
Crimen habet, quanto major, qui peccat, habetur.

All Vices are more conspicuous and crimi­nal, as the party offending is more or less great.

I remark in the second place, that men are really much more criminal than women, not only because they ought to be much more vertuous, and that the of­fence has one degree of iniquity in them which is not in the women, but also be­cause they commit much more, and af­ter a more egregious manner. This is so true, that in the third place, the men are themselves guilty of the most part of the failings of women. If these are in any wife ill humour'd, the men ought to impute the cause thereof to their own proper conduct, which is very often full of Tyranny, Contempt, and Licentious­ness: And if they dispose themselves sometimes to vicious excesses, it is either because they give them an example, or because they solicit them with the ut­most application. Possibly they are not altogether insensible of the darts of love. It may be too, that the tenderness of [Page 174]their hearts, and the sweetness of their Constitution, is often fatal to them in this respect. 'Tis well known that they are not Angels, but infirm and sinful creatures. Nevertheless one may judge how discreet they would be, were it not for the cruel persecutions of men, by the difficulty of subduing the Daphne's, the Io's, the Danae's, and the Europa's, even by the Gods Apollo and Jupiter.

Yes, Sir, make no doubt hereof: It is a manifest truth, that the greatest part of women, either debauch'd, or igno­rant, are made so by the wickedness of Men. If women were allowed to fol­low their natural Inclinations, and their charms did not excite against them the passion of Men; I am perswaded they would go in the high road to vertue, without turning to the right, or to the left. 'Tis true, if they observ'd in us the fame attractions we observe in them, they would perhaps be otherwise pro­pens'd: But they discover none: Or if they do, it must be granted that they have more strength of mind, than we, to surmount the temptations. What is certain herein is, that they are indiffe­rent [Page 175]enough upon the Score of Love. Their great infirmity is not in loving, but in desiring to be beloved, and to study to appear amiable, in order to procure themselves hearts. They love to hear men talk things relating to their Beau­ty: But they do not willingly give them an opportunity of talking; yet I confess, that they who know how to prevail over this infirmity of the Sex, which makes them covet incense and cajoling, at length con­fine them to their Laws, and get above their constancy. But why should we attribute to them the crime of Men? Why do they employ means to corrupt them? why do they practise so many stratagems to make them forget their duty? Why do they putt things in their mind, which they would never have thought on? why do they abuse their simplicity? Doth it not ill become the men after this to accuse them of indis­cretion, and to asperse their honour? They, who made them faulty in spite of themselves; they, who are the real cause of the crimes which they commit in this respect: In a word, they who are infi­nitely more culpable, than the women.

I affirm as much of their humour. If there are amongst them such as are un­easy, and of a difficult access, I cannot abstain from saying that the greatest part of Husbands make them so. How many of them are there, who treat their wives like slaves, and imagine to themselves that they are only born for servitude? Hearken, I beseech you, to the Com­plaint which they make in a Poet touch­ing the unhappiness of their fate: ‘Must it not be granted, say they, that of all creatures we are the most unfortunate? after having purchased a Husband dear enough, he must be the disposer of our Bodies and Estates. It's necessa­ry that with his person we espouse his Inclinations, and undergo that yoak he is pleas'd to impose upon us.. He acts with impunity what we cannot do without loss of Fame. If he disapproves of us, he has the liberty to forsake us. Whatsoever evils we endure with him, we must in no wise think of a Separation. Divorces are indecent in women. When Domestick affairs suc­ceed amiss, he goes to find his conso­lation abroad. He walks, he diverts himself, he frequents good Societies. [Page 177]He visits his friends. He disperses by this means all his vexations. But as for us we must digest them alone. We are unable to seek any alleviati­on but in our selves. If we do any thing that's well, no notice is taken of it; but if any disaster arrives to the family, we are presently to be con­demned. Our pains are sufficiently known in producing and educating Children, and in the management of all Domestick affairs, whilst our husbands are pleasing themselves, and consider only many times how to rejoyce. How deplorable especially is our con­dition, when by false suspicions against our conduct, they become jealous: Or else by their courses they oblige us to prove so? Were we as fair and compleat as Angels, they will not cease to be weary of us, and to despise us, as if we were the most deformed. Af­ter the first heat of their Love is ex­tinguish'd in our bosoms, and they have satisfi'd the desire of their flesh, they laugh at us, and contemns their promises.’

[Page 178]
Simul ac cupidae mentis satiata li­bido est,
Catul. Argon. 65.
Dicta nihil metuere, nihil perju­ria curant.

As for me, I confess ingenuously, that this complaint is just, and that she had reason to say of her own Sex,

Miserius nihil est quàm mulier.
There's nothing more miserable than Woman.

But I alledge at the same time, that the men are unjust and ungrateful to complain, so much as they do, of the ill humour of their wives; to say so ma­ny disobliging things of them, and to attribute to them all the Severities of Marriage. Besides, that they ought to hold them very much excused in consi­deration of their frailty: I affirm that the chiefest part of their evil conducts is derived less from their fault, than that of their husbands. Generally speak­ing, the Wives have much more vexati­on, and much less pleasure.

How many husbands ruin their Fami­lies [Page 179]every day by gaming? How ma­ny are starved by their filthy Debauche­ries? How many of them are undoen by mischievous affairs, and destructive corre­spondencies, from which their wives might have diverted them, if they had been made acquainted with their designs? After all this, can the Wives be mis­construed if Patience escapes them some­times? if they are not always good hu­mour'd, and it happens that they are car­ried to murmur and complain of these ill husbands, who by their unhappy con­duct render their lives insupportable? O Detractors! assert as long as you will that they are cruel, and violent: As for me, I find that they are but little so, in regard of the occasion they have.

In the second place, we may justi­fy the women by way of exception. They who condemn them so magisterial­ly, are men; that is to say, they are really parties, and by consequence very suspici­ous Judges; or to say better, they cannot be their Judges. They have an ample right to challenge them: They are too much interessed in this process, to have the decision referred to them. As pre­judiced [Page 180]as they are against the Sex, how should they give an equitable judgment? They only act in passion here, which ought to make one presume the injustice of their Sentiments. If Oracles or He­roes had pronounced a Sentence to the disadvantage of Women, one ought, I confess, to have some deference for their testimony: But those are neither Gods, nor Demi-Gods, that slander them so much. They are very Men, and amongst them the least sincere, such as Poets are. That which one of them asserted of him­self, may be alledged of all, ‘Magnaque pars mendax ope­rum est, Ovid. Trist. L. 2. & ficta meorum.’

Thus nothing obliges us to beleive them, especially in their Satyrical de­clamations against the Sex; for it is prin­cipally in this regard that they have ven­ted Fables and Romances.

Let us speak things as they are, the de­pravation of both sexes is extream. One may equally apply to both, that thundring Sentence of the Scripture, All the thoughts of the heart of Man are evil continually. Gen. 6. But if a [Page 181]man would speak sincerely, he would freely acknowledge that the Female Sex is least corrupted, and that it still pre­serves some relicks of its original inno­cence. When a man has regard only to the sweetness of the temper of women, and to that gentleness of Soul which is so natural to them, should he not be perswaded that they have much fewer evil qualities than men?

There are some notwithstanding, 'tis true, who are insupportable; and Hi­stories give us an account of some, who are capable of frightning all single men, such as the wife of Job, and that of So­crates. But these are exceptions to the general rule, which are not to be con­sidered. There would be no justice in referring to all the crime of some par­ticulars.

Cur omnium fit culpa, paucorum Scelus.

May we not assert likewise of Men, what Solomon said of women, that a­mongst a thousand 'twou'd be a hard matter to find one perfect? Diogenes sought after him heretofore with his eyes shut, and a Lanthorn in his hand at full Noon, to let us know that it was impossible to find him.

Moreover to apprehend rightly the thought of Solomon, it is not so disad­vantagious to the Sex, as 'tis imagined. He speaks of a thousand men with regard to the thousand Concubines he had. It is as if he had said, if I had a thousand Men to examine, sure I should find one very reasonable. But, O Affliction! a­mongst an equal number of women whom I have chosen, I have not found one perfect, and free from great defects. One may observe that he doth not speak of women in general, but of his women in particular. How can any one attri­bute to him the belief of not one good woman, he that in so many places makes the Encomium of vertuous women; that speaks of them in such honourable terms, and exhorts those men so often whom God has favoured with them, to praise him incessantly for it? As for his own, I contest not but he had reason to judge of them as he did. It is perhaps the most unworthy part of the triumphant Reign of Solomon, to have taken such a prodigious multitude of women for his use, against the express Law of the Crea­tor. But to this first offence he added still that of taking almost all of them [Page 183]out of the bosom of Paganism; which was no less prohibited to the Jews. Who makes any doubt of Gods being high­ly incensed at such a proceeding?

It may be that to punish Solomon he purposely suffered all his women to be of a disingenious temper. We may ve­ry boldly say they were very wicked, since they laid snares for him even to his Death. His Women, says the Scripture, 1 Kings [...] 11.4. made him turn his heart after other Gods in the time of his old age. The imposing charms of his women, and the inventions of their mind, made him fall into this Misfortune. As he foresaw that he should have much adoe to get rid of their ambushes in this respect, he pronounced this Sentence against them by anticipation, I never found a good woman. He had reason with relation to his own women, but one must not extend his thoughts to all women, as if he would have said that there are none good in the world, which never fell in­to his mind, and which is likewise ve­ry repugnant to the truth of things. The Wives of the ancient Patriarchs, an [Page 184]a Vasti, a Susanna, an Elizabeth, a Dor­cas, a Priscilla, a Penelope, a Paulina, a Lucretia, an Arria, and a hundred o­thers, whereof our sacred and prophane Histories make mention, sufficiently make appear that a wise and vertuous woman is not so uncommon, as 'tis imagined: And that even the sight of them is not difficult, if a man would give himself the trouble of seeking after them, as he ought.

Above all it's very difficult to sup­port the Enemies of Women, when they declaim against their Chastity. Is it not ridiculing God and Men, to cry them down in a particular wherein they are so worthy of our Praises? What's more natural to them than this admirable ver­tue, which they pretend women seldom have? How many stratagems, how ma­ny cares, how many artifices must a man use in order to obtain their Fa­vours? Who can be ignorant that they make all their Joy consist in the single possession of their Husbands?

Ʋnico gaudens mulier marito.
Horat. L. 3. Od. 14.

Is it not apparent that a woman or­dinarily sees, without emotion, and with unactive sense, the handsom'st men of the world? and that as the Sun, who whilst he burns the earth is never infla­med within his own Sphere, she likewise burns without receiving heat? In a word, who can deny that modesty is insepara­ble from woman, and that if she divests her self of it a nights to satisfy the sa­cred Laws of Marriage, she puts it on a mornings with her habits; as Herodo­tus remarks? Pliny would even insinu­ate, that she preserves it after death.

Harbour not an opinion, Sir, that my Adversaries are better grounded in the Second, than in the first part of their Criticks: They reason equally amiss in both. You have seen the weakness of their objections in relation to women; I hope to perswade you that they have not more reason in those which they pre­fer against Marriage it self.

First, say they, Marriage is unwor­thy of Man. It puts him in some mea­sure in the rank of Beasts. Secondly, it is repugnant to his happiness, because [Page 186]deprives him of liberty, without which he can never be happy. What propositions are here! Is it not formally to contra­dict St. Paul, who says of Marriage, That it is honourable for all Men? 'Is it not a pretending to be wiser than God, who has pronounced that it was advantagious for man not to be alone, and to have a wise like him? But let us observe what arguments these Persons bring to support such erroneous opinions.

‘Man, say they, is born not so much for the actions of the body, as for those of the mind. That proper figure, that erected head which he has received from Nature, incites him to despise all sensu­al things, and to apply himself to the meditation of coelestial ones.’

Os homini sublime dedit,
Ovid. Me­tam. L. 1. Fab. 2.
coelum­que tueri
Jussit & erectos ad Sydera tol­lere vultus.

‘As his Soul is the most noble part of himself, he ought likewise chiefly to discharge those Functions which are agreeable to it: How opposite [Page 187]are those of Marriage to the excel­lency of his Original? what is more in­feriour, what more animal? Is it not the order of Justice, that the weakest should submit to the strongest? and what! can any one approve that so pre­cious and divine a thing as the Soul should condescend so far as to pur­sue the brutal appetites of the flesh; that it should renounce the right of commanding, to put it self under a ne­cessity of obeying; and that it should descend from the Throne of Reason to confine it self under the Empire of the Senses? ought not this reason to hold the Reins against the concupis­cible appetite, as well as the irascible? Is it fit that to satisfy the custom of a Countrey, or private interests, or the Transports of an inconsiderate youth, it should yield it's right of Sovereign­ty to this simple passion? Domina om­nium, & Regina Ratio. Reason is the Queen, and Mistress of all things, and ought to command the passions, as Ci­cero observes, Velut servo Dominus, velut Imperator militi, velut Parens filio. In Marriage this order is over­thrown. Here the passions command, [Page 188]and draw Reason away in spite of it self, in order to obtain those things which it doth not approve of, because it esteems them contrary to that real wisdom, which consists in the sub­duction of all the Motions of the in­ferior part of the Soul.’

‘Let the Brutes accompany as long as they will. Let them enter, if they please, into that filthy commerce of the Union of both Sexes necessary to generation, pursuant to a blind Instinct: But what? ought not Man, that noble Creature, who descended from the blood of Heroes and Gods, to enter­tertain higher thoughts, and to apply himself to somewhat more worthy of his Original? In a word, as much as the Spirit exceeds the flesh, and an Angel Man, so much ought Celibacy to be more excellent than Marriage. Those who live therein, resemble in some sort the happy Souls, and anti­cipate the Time of that Life which is to come. What can be more glorious for Man, than to do upon Earth what is done in Paradice? To imitate An­gels and Saints, who live in the Vir­ginity [Page 189]of an eternal Celibacy? Jesus Christ himself lived in that condition. He was never married. It is said of those priviledged Persons, who in the Revelations follow the Lamb where­soever he goes, that they are Virgins, and were never defiled with women. If one may believe an Author of a great Character, we ought to refer to Mar­riage these words of the Apostle: Rom. 8. Those who are in the flesh, can never please God. For he has employed this Text to ce­lebrate the Praises and Necessity of the Batchellors State, especially in regard of Ecclesiasticks.’

Behold what the Enemies of Marri­age alledge for the support of their first Proposition. Nothing doubtless, could be finer than this reasoning, if the effects answered the words. But, Sir, most unhappily they do not. These persons represent to us a Man of the other world, and not of this we live in. They al­ledge what it is to be wish'd we were, but what we shall never really be, till we are dispossess'd of this infirm body, wherewith our Souls are cloath'd. We [Page 190]are by nature too far engaged in the Empire of the Senses, to be able to break off our correspondence with them? nothing 'tis true, can be of more ad­vantage to us. Nothing more worthy of our desire. But what?

Homo sum, humani à me nihil a­lienum puto.
Terent. Heaut.
I'm a Man, and therefore I'm not ashamed to own the con­sequence of humanity.

Where is the Man, that is not sub­ject to make this confession? Who like­wise, do you imagine, these ill declaim­ers are, who would pass for Wits, and be distinguish'd from the vulgar? I am perswaded that if one examined their conduct, one should find that Marriage is more necessary for them, than for an infinite number of others, in whom they condemn it. This precept of a true Ora­tor, Doce facienda, & doce faciendo, has no relation to them. They teach, but they don't act. They shew the way that ought to be pursued, but they do not march in it themselves, as our Sa­viour reproach'd the Pharisees. Where [Page 191]is the advantage of knowing Vertue, if one leaves it unpractised? Non est be­atus qui scit illa, sed qui facit: says Se­neea. How contrary is man to himself, how different, how various? Had not Ovid reason to say, ‘Pectoribus mores tot sunt, Ovid. de Arte. Am. quot in orbe figurae.’

In my second part, I have shewn you persons so possessed with the love of Women, that they declare themselves incapable of withstanding them, They argue for nothing but their necessity. Behold now some, who are directly op­posite to them. They are for dispen­sing with their absence. They maintain that they are not necessary. What con­trariety! A man needs only to consult with himself in order to judge that these last are even more unreasonable than the first. For these are at least more sincere. They speak according to their Sentiments. Concordat Sermo cum vitâ. They talk as they live. But those are Impostors, who feel not what they speak, but would be taken for persons much ex­alted [Page 192]above the passions, when they are oftentimes enslaved to them. Their dis­simultation doth not cease to procure them praises. Men, who examine but the outside, and who only judge of things by appearances, imagine that there are heroical and very extraordinary Quali­ties in them, Which made Virgil to ob­serve,

Ah! hodiè laus est non ultima, fingere vultum.
Alas! None of the least Praises now a­days is to dissemble.

So much is Vertue despised, and Sin­cerity out of use in the world.

To enter into the bottom of the dis­pute, I make a proposition directly contrary to that of my Adveriaries. Mar­riage, say they, is not agreeable to man. It is for his glory not to marry. And I affirm, that Marriage doth agree with Man It is necessary for him. He can­not well forbear it. The first part of this work very clearly proves the truth of my Proposition; since God has insti­tuted Marriage; since our Saviour has [Page 193]confirm'd it; since the Apostles have re­commended it, since all Nations of the World have practised it, since it con­veys to man such great advantages, can one doubt of its agreement with him? and if it is thus excellently good, as I have maintain'd it all along, can one assert that it is unworthy of man?

But let us see the Reasons, upon which it's Adversaries rely in order to cry it down. They all return to these three. First, It is repugnant to the Em­pire of Reason over the Senses and Passi­ons. Secondly, It puts man in the rank of Beasts. Lastly, it hinders him from resembling the Angels. One may reply to all this in few words. What Lo­gick is this! Reason is in man what the King is in the State. It ought to sub­ject all to it self, and to submit it self to nothing. All the passions should con­descend to it, but it should never yield it self to any of them. Therefore Marri­age doth not agree with Man. There­fore man ought not to marry. Can there be more miserable arguing? One grants the Principle. Reason ought to [Page 194]govern the passions. It ought to be the Mistress. But where have these men learnt that Marriage is contrary to its Sovereignty? One may from this prin­ciple infer conclusions absoluetly oppo­site to theirs. Reason ought to govern the passions, by consequence Marriage is necessary for Man. Why? because the Passions are much stronger in Celibacy, than in Marriage; because Marriage is it self a means to tame the Passions, be­cause Reason governs them, conse­quently? with more easiness. But say they, it ought to triumph over them. It ought to captivate them. Reason ought, that I may so speak, to swallow up the passions. This is an evil Do­ctrine equally unknown in the School of God, and that of Men. The passi­ons are good in themselves. They are become criminal only by the pollution of Sin, which has disorder'd them. Man must not be absolutely dispossess'd of them; they are essential to him: He cannot even live with integrity, according to St. Austin, without their assistance. Affe­ctus animi qui non habent, recte non vi­vunt. The Indolence of the Stoicks has been at all times condemned. Man nei­ther [Page 195]can nor ought ever to be with­out Passion. The simple Question is to rectify it, by reducing it into that hap­py Limit, above or beneath which ver­tue cannot subsist.

Est modus in rebus, sunt certi de­nique fines,
Hor. Serm. lib. 1. sat. 1.
Quos ultra citraque nequit consi­stere rectum.
There are certain means, and limits of things, which bound right on either side.

One ought to place it under the just law of Reason, without which it ceases to be legitimate: For appetitus lege na­turae subjectus est rationi, as St. Ambrose says. And without that, St. Austin tells us, that Passion is nothing but the moti­on of the Beast, Affectio sine ratione mo­tus est bestialis. Now of all things that are able to father his Empire of Reason upon the passions, I affirm that there is nothing more efficacious than Marriage. St. Paul sees nothing fit­ter to dispose men to wisdom. By consequence I have reason to say, and my adversaries are in the wrong to de­ny [Page 196]it, that Marriage is very worthy of man, and absolutely necessary for him, even according to their own principle.

As animal as the action of Marriage is, it is notwithstanding very conformable to right Reason and the Nature of man. One may say that man is a mixt ani­mal. He is neither all Flesh, nor all Spi­rit, he is a compositum of both. He has a Body, he has a Soul. Each of these two parts of this Being applies it self to those objects which are suitable to it, and agreeable to its Nature. As the Soul is of a coelestial and immaterial Original, its single prospect is, to exalt it self above sensible things. But the body, which is terrestrial, follows its na­tural destination. All it's motions tend downward. It proposes to it self no­thing but the enjoyment of Creatures. Man by his Soul has the honour to be the Image of God, and the Compani­on of Angels. But indeed by his Body, he enters in some sort in communion of Nature and Society with Beasts. He doth in this regard what they do. The same accidents happen to him. He has the same desires. He is touched with [Page 197]the same Objects, ans has no priviledge over them in this respect. Those anci­ent Heroes, who gave terror and ad­miration to the whole world, by the force of their judgments, and the excel­lency of their Genius, have not fail'd to be subject to the concupiscible ap­petites, as well as the vilest of animals. After having equal'd themselves to the Gods in the superior part of their being, they must resemble beasts by the insur­mountable Law of the inferior part. I confess that it is very mortifying, for the King of Animals not to be distin­guish'd herein from his Subjects, and to encrease after the same manner and by the same ways, as they. But be not surprized at it. This was necessary for the design of their common Creator. He has of a sudden and without distin­ction of Sex form'd that innumerable multitude of Spirits, which compose the Hierarchy of Angels and Devils, be­cause being incorruptible intelligences they were by consequence incapable of gene­ration. But God having been pleased to make all human-kind of one blood, as the Apostle says, and by way of ge­neration, it was necessary to give to Man, [Page 198]an Organized body. It was necessary to render him capable of multiplying. It was expedient for him to make two Sexes. In a word, it was convenient to give them that natural desire of uniting together, which makes the propagati­on of the kind, but which is never law­ful without Marriage. Can one assert after this, that it is unworthy of man with relation to this Union of Sexes? As despicable as it is in it self, is it not sufficient that it is the design of Nature, and the very order of God, who has commanded us to encrease and multiply, in order to rase all the Scandal, which the most scrupulous persons might receive from thence? As I have already said, it is as conformable to reason, as agreea­ble to the nature of man. Reason it self disposes men to it. In general it approves of all that is design'd by Pro­vidence. And in particular it suffers man to practise all that tends to the good and preservation of his being. Its pro­spect is not to dispossess him of a desire so essential to him as that is, but on­ly to reduce it to its just measure, and to bring it back to lawful use. Thus we may affirm, that this Union is no [Page 199]less necessary to the world, than drinking and eating, and all other animal functi­ons. Let us say then by consequence-that it contains nothing unworthy of us, provided that Reason conducts the passion to it, and that the passion is not without reason therein. In all this we shall affirm what is true.

But say they, the State of a Batchellor makes us resemble Angels and Saints. It is by consequence in man an admira­ble perfection. I deny, that a Celibacy purely corporeal is a perfection, and that it likens us to Angels and Saints: Since marriage is of the order of Na­ture, and the institution of God, and the duty of man, pursuant to the proofs I have brought, how should a single state which is directly opposite to it, be of it self a vertue? It is exactly with Celi­bacy, as with a Fast. What is more indifferent, than to eat and drink? Fa­sting is only considerable because the Church recommends the practice of it, and may contribute much to the diminu­tion of their Vices, and the encrease of their Vertues: But no body ever said that it was a Vertue in it self. They, [Page 200]who remain in a single state with that wisdom prescribed by the Gospel, are doubtless worthy of our praises; not with relation to Celibacy it self; but be­cause it may make them sitter to dis­charge the duties of Piety. If Celiba­cy were a vertue, then Marriage must be a crime. It is indeed what the Mon­tainists and other Hereticks formerly taught; But St. Paul puts this Doctrine amongst those of the Devils: And it is a long time since the Church thunder­struck it with its Anathema's. As for those happy Virgins of the Revelations who follow the Lamb every where, and who were never defil'd with wo­men, what follows, and what precedes, most clearly justifies; that one must re­fer that to a sence purely spiritual and metaphorical. 'Tis evident, and the Text says it, that the holy Spirit means by these Virgins the 144000 mark'd out, who in the same Book re­main'd faithful to the Lamb, Rev. 14.4. ha­ving never prostituted them­selves to the Idolatries and Abo­minations of those Mystical women, who were to make all the Earth drunk with the wine of their whoredoms, but having [Page 201]only followed Jesus Christ in his Word, and in the practice of the Precepts of his Gospel. This therefore makes neither for Celibacy nor against Marriage. A­mogst those Virgins there might be as many married, as single. All the ad­vantage of Celibacy over Marriage, is, that they who make a good use of it, may find more easiness to serve God, and avoid divers inconveniencies to which married persons are subject. But besides that each State has its own difficulty, as I have made appear, how much hazard doth a man run in that of Celibacy by the almost insuperable difficulty of fulfilling all its duties? who knows not what St. Bernard says of the Empire of our bodies over our Souls; Corpus trahit animam in regionem suam? Who is ignorant with what rapidity the passions draw us along? who is not sensible that it is of no im­portance, to have a purity of body with­out a cleanness of Soul? who knows not, in a word, to speak with St. Austin, that an humble Marriage is of much more value, than a proud Virginity? Melius est humile conjugium, quàm super­ba Virginitas

You see, Sir, how fallacious the con­sequence is, that the Enemies of mar­riage would draw from this principle, and that nothing is more miserable than the reasoning they make, in order to sustain that it is unworthy of man. Let us observe if they argue better for their second Proposition, and if it be true that it doth not agree with his happiness.

‘Liberty, say they, is the sweetest thing in the world. Enjoy all the rest, you will be unhappy without that, there is nothing more precious.’

Aurea Libertas auro pretiosior omni.
Golden Liberty is more precious than Mines of Oar.

‘Let a man be Rich, let him be of a great Extraction, let him possess all the other advantages of life, if Liberty be wanting, life it self is but a death.’

Seneca was not acquainted with a greater blessing, than of belonging to himself. Inestimabile bonum est suum fieri. It is for this reason, that amongst the Lawyers a free man is invaluable. Li­ber [Page 203]homo non recipit estimationem. This being presupposed, what can one imagine more repugnant to happiness than Marriage? Is it not a real slave­ry? if the wife depends upon the man, is not the man under the dependance of the wife? are they not Masters of each other? can they Separate at a­ny time? Mulier aligata est legi, quan­to tempore vir ejus vivit. Doth not the Etimology of Conjugium acquaint you that Marriage is a yoak, to which the husband and wife are, as it were, fast­ned together, in order to bear in common the weighty burden of those inconveniences which occur therein? most certainly then, conclude my ad­versaries, it is the real Tomb of Liber­ty. By consequence it is infinitely contrary to the happiness of man.’

Et mihi dulce magis resoluto vivere colo.

'Tis granted, that Marriage puts men under engagements, which come very mear to servitude. But, Sir, you must not think that there is no servitude, but what is scandalous, and contrary to hap­piness. [Page 204]Don't you konw, for In­stance, that to serve God is to reign. It the same with Marriage in some mea­sure. It is a servitude, I confess; but it is a volutary one. It gives a right of com­manding Sovereignty. It is rewarded with a thousand charms, which are not to be found in the liberty of a single life. What do you apprehend this free­dom to be? It is for the most part no­thing but a pure licentiousness. Doth it not appear how the greatest part of Batchelors live? They are not confined to one woman, but are concatenated by a thousand criminal passions. Seneca the Philosopher conceiv'd nothing to be more infamous, than the servitude of a Voluptuous Person. Nulla servitus tur­pior est quam voluptaria. These Per­sons imagine themselves to be free, be­cause they are not subject to the Law of Marriage. But doth not the same thing happen to them exactly, which fell out to those Fools, whom Horace speaks of,

Dum vitant stulti vitia, in con­traria currant.
Horat. Serm.
Fools fly one vice, run into a con­trary?

They think to avoid one Slavery, and fall into another which is worse. They fly from that of Marriage which is noble, and conformable to the Nature of Man, and take up that of Vices, which dishonours them, and is directly con­trary to the Grace of our Saviour. For in Fine, one must not be deceived. As a good man is free, altho' he serves, so a man that's free, who indulges his lusts, is a real slave. These are two things equally certain. St. Austin establishes the one, Bonus, etiam si serviat, liber est, says he: and Cicero establishes the other in these words, Liber est existimandus, qui nulli turpitudini servit. Since there­fore the more virtuous a man is, the more he is free, it necessarily follows that Mar­riage is a less Servitude than Celibacy, be­cause those who are married have gene­rally more vertue than single persons. Add, Sir, that as thorny as this servi­tude is, one doth not cease to be pleased with it. One of the greatest per­plexities one finds in it, is, even the fear of its not continuing long enough. A husband and a wise, that love one ano­ther, cannot reflect without trouble up­on their future separation. They had [Page 206]rather dy, than live apart. And accor­ding to the rule of the Roman Orator, one should not call the yoak of Mar­riage incommodious or tiresom, since one bears it with an easiness. Onus, says he, non est appellandum, quod cum laetitiâ fo­ras ac voluptate.

Socrates being ask'd which was best, Marriage, or a single Life, made this re­ply; Marry, or marry not, thou shalt ever repent. It's true, that there are in both conditions subjects of vexations and displeasures. I even confess that one may meet with much more in that of Marriage, than in that of Celibacy. But in recompence, the satisfactions a man tasts in Marriage, are much more pure and sensible, which I have made ap­pear in the first parts of this work. The peace which succeeds a long and cruel war, is so much the more sweet and relishing: And after the experience of rough tempests, one finds the Calm in­finitely better. The repose of Celiba­cy, is a repose of softness, security and self love: By consequence it is a fatal, and deceitful repose. There is none real or agreeable, says Seneca, but that [Page 207]which comes from reason. Nulla pla­cida quies est, nisi quam ratio composuit. The trouble of Marriage, on the other side, is a trouble of safety, magnanimity, and courage. Aspera vita, sed salubris. It is of that one may truly say, Sic itur ad astra. It is the way to Hea­ven; very difficult. 'tis true: But it is what Vertue seeks for.

Difficile est, fateor,
Ovid. de Ponto.
sed tendit in ardua virtus.

It degenerates into Vice, when it has no adversary to encounter. But I main­tain, that there is no condition, where­in the Vertues have a more lawful and advantagious exercise than Marriage. Admit that a person should not tast those real pleasures I have spoken of, by rea­son of those vexations he may meet with, yet he ought not to desist inrol­ling himself under it's discipline; since it is so proper to illustrate it's vertues, and to direct him to Salvation.

Amongst the difficulties of Marriage, I allow the Education and Establishment of Children to be one of the chief. It's [Page 208]necessary for that end to observe such cares, which very often renders life ex­treamly uneasy. But after all, since man is born for trouble, and that he is ani­mal Onerificum, as St. Bernard elegant­ly calls him, can he undertake a more lawfull one, or for a nobler subject? That Maxim of Seneca, is here natu­rally applied, Non est viri timere sudo­rem? Is it humane to fear the fatigue of making men? Is it the part of a man to continue in Celibacy, in order to avoid the real occupations of man? or in a word, to fly from Marriage through the fear of discharging one of the principal du­ties of humanity, and of answering the first end of Nature?

I have yet two things to reply to the enemies of Marriage, upon the subject of children: One is, that sloth and idle­ness are the most shameful things to man in the world: And the other is, that nothing is more capable of disposing him to it, than the want of Children. These two propositions are of a sensible truth. As to the first, An Apostle tells us in express terms, that he who doth not la­bour, that is, remains without action, put­ting [Page 209]himself to no trouble, is not wor­thy to eat. In effect, it has been very properly said, Nihil agendo homines ma­lè agere discunt. By doing nothing one learns to do what's ill. Idleness cor­rupts bodies, as want of motion infects Rivers.

Cernis ut ignarum corrumpant otia corpus?
Ʋt capiant vitium ne moreantur aquae?

Oftentimes this Vice has been even fatal to great Princes, and the happiest Common-wealths.

Otium reges prius, & beatas per­didit urbes.
Catul. ad Cest. 52.
Idleness gave the first push to the Ruin of Kings and flourishing Cities.

Rome and Carthage were destroyed hereby. One cannot therefore too sedu­lously shun it. I say in the second place, that nothing can be imagined more effe­ctual against it, than a Marriage fruitful in Children; When a man is alone, and has nothing to think of but himself, he is scarce moved for what's to come. [Page 210]He flies from labour, and applies him­self to the diversions of a licentions life. But when God has given you Heirs to succeed you in your Fortunes, you must necessarily mind somewhat else. You must consider them, as well as your self. Our Children are our first Creditors. They are born such. We owe to them naturally Subsistence and Education. We must labour all our lives to acquit our selves of that debt. St. Gregory says that riches are a pain to those who have no children, Quibus deficit soboles sua poten­tia poena est. But I add, that poverty is doubly one to those who want them. Poor men have occasion for them to be a continual motive to them to exercise and practise all honest means towards the delivering them out of their miseries. It is perhaps for this reason that Chil­dren are usually termed their Riches. Thus Children are necessary to all the world, and to deprive ones self of Mar­riage through the fear of having them, is to shut ones Ears against the voice of Nature, and that of Providence.

There remains nothing more but to answer the objection, which is made [Page 211]concerning the ill humour of Wives, and domestick Quarrels. Without dispute this is what's most uneasy in marriage. When once division is introduced, and one comes to disputes, thorns arise on all sides. What injustice is it, said a Malecontent with a grace, to deny that Marriage is a Sacrament, since one finds but too often a double one therein: That of Repentance being almost always in­separable from it. But, Sir, let not this amaze you. As one usually says, there is a remedy for all things, but death. The last part of this Treatise will fur­ther convince you hereof, in relation to Marriage. If it could be even sustain'd, that there is no Marriage happy enough to be perfectly exempted from vexati­ons, remember that all humane conditi­ons are liable thereto, that they are ea­sier to be born in that of Marriage, than in all others; and that it is our duty to suffer patiently those crosses, which are derived to us from a subject where we have found a thousand Charms.

In some respects women may be in­commodious, I deny it not; some of them are very troublesom, and render the pur­chase [Page 212]of that pleasure, which they af­ford, very dear. At the same time, if one examines the thing without pre­judice, one shall find that a woman pro­cures infinitely more good to the man, than she can do ill. Besides, it is unjust, says Lactantius, to pretend to exact of any one an impossibility. Ini­quum est enim ut id exigas, Lact. L. 6. c. 23. quod praestare ipse non possis. Not­withstanding this is the humour of the men. They would have women to be without any sort of defect. They maintain, they should be as perfect as An­gels. They propose that with the Beau­ty of Helena, they should have the ver­tue of Penelope, and the wisdom of Lu­cretia. In a word, they would have them to act nothing against their duty; and to be so far Mistrisses of their passions, that they should never be able to say, do, or think any thing that might be in­capable of pleasing them.

What injustice is here! can the de­mandants practise it themselves? Is it not a thing above humanity? Since then we cannot be without defects, we ought to love one another with them. The [Page 213]man should charitably bear with those of the woman, and the woman those of the man. Every one has his own. You will find them every where. If you do not suffer those of a wife, you will have those of a Friend, those of a Domestick, those of all the world to bear; and should you be delivered from them, you would have still your own to suffer, which would be so much the more insupportable, in that having none but them to think of, they will appear to you infinitely more worthy of your horrour. What the Na­turalists remark, that the same soil which produces Poisons, likewise brings forth remedies for them, may be very well ap­plied to the wife. If she be to her hus­band a cause of disquiet, she is likewise to him one of joy. If she afflicts him some­times, she comforts him much oftner. If she displeases you in one kind, how agreeable doth she appear to you in a hundred others? in respect of the diffe­rences one has with her, I confess that nothing is more affecting at the time, and that there never was a fruit of so unrelishing a tast. But happily they do not continue long. Faciles conjugum sunt reconciliationes. One night, says the [Page 214]same Author, suffices for that end. They even serve for the most part but to con­firm the knot of their loves.

Amantium irae amoris redintegra­tio est.
Ter. in And.
The falling out of Lovers is the renewing of Love.

One may truly affirm of the discords of husband and wife, Discordiâ fit cha­rior concordia. They at length turn to pleasure, and doubly encrease their sa­tisfaction.

Irae interveniunt, redeunt rursum in gratiam.
Verùm irae sique fortè eveniunt hujusmodi.
Plaut. in Amph.
Inter eos rursum si eventum in gratiam est,
Bis tanto amici sunt inter se, quàm pacis

'Tis said of the Americans, that as they believe the Moon to be the wife of the Sun, they likewise imagine that she has been abused by him, and that they are at variance every time they see her in her [Page 215]crescents. If that were true, their dis­putes would re-commence very often, but however they would not last very long. Those of married persons are yet much shorter. Thus all the objections of the enemies of Marriage come to nothing. They have no true reasons not to love it, and they have a thousand to desire it. After what I have represented to you upon this subject, I dare assure my self that you will subscribe to the Oath of that good Vestal in an ancient Author, Moriar nisi nubere dulce est.

Fifth Part. Of the Means to marry well, and to live happy in Marriage.

AT length I am arrived where you have, doubtless, expected me long. Indeed this last part is of most impor­tance [Page 216]in the business of Marriage. All that I have said hitherto necessarily sup­poses one well done, and well conditi­oned. To this is referrable all the ad­vantages which I have declared to be found in a conjugal union. As much a­gainst Marriage as its adversaries are, they voluntrily grant, that it is a Society which may be agreeable, if the parties were always at peace, and in case they ne­ver had occasion to complain of one ano­ther. That which causes their mistake, is the prepossession they are in, that it is impossible to find such a circumstance. If then it can be made appear that such a thing may be, and that such Precepts are given which may be of force to perswade them, that in the practice of them it is easy to attain to this happy Marriage, they must confess them [...] to be overcome. I hope, Sir, th [...] [...]art of my Treatise will have th [...] [...]ccess both for them, and for you. I hope it will perfectly convince you, that no­thing is more advantagious for man, than a good Marriage. What one ought to do in order to marry, and what one ought to do in Marriage, are the two [Page 217]points, which I propose to explain, in order to satisfy my Engagement, and your Expectation.

The first thing that an honest man should do, after he is determined for Marriage, is to request of God a wife according to his mind. Remember, Sir, that Providence is concerned in every thing, and that there is nothing here be­low, but it diffuses its influences upon. As corrupted as the Pagan Theology was, yet the sine Deo nihil feliciter suc­cedit, was one of its Maxims. What else was that Fortune to which even Cicero subjects all. Events, and which he regards as the Sovereign Empress of the world, Fortuna Domina rerum, but that particular conduct of God towards all creatures, which we adore under the name of Providence?

After having asked of God a wife according to his mind, he ought under the protection of Providence to seek one after his own. This, Sir, imports two things; the one is, that she be pleasing to his Eyes: And the other, that she [Page 218]be agreeable to his humour. Behold what is most essential to observe, in or­der to marry well. I confess he should not espouse a person through the single motive of her Beauty. It is too frail a quality to have an entire dependance on.

Nec semper viola, nec semper lilia florent:
Ovid. de Att. am. l. 2.
Et riget amissa spina relict ro­sa.

And as Cicero says, Formae dignitas aut morbo deflorescit, aut Vetustate. The worst is, that when this happens, the wife is easily contemned. As she was only taken for her Beauty, that's no sooner gone, but she is valued no longer. Her sight fatigues the Eyes, and as much as she was loved being handsom, so much is she disregarded when she is de­prived of such a charm.

What Mortification is it to a husband, when he finds himself compell'd to dis­like a Companion, with whom he ought to pass all his days? It is then certain, that he should not fix his utmost bliss in [Page 219]Beauty, since it may be lost every mo­memt.

Nevertheless it must be granted, that nothing is more amiable in nature, nor more proportion'd to the heart of man, to speak with Plato. I have told you more than once, that the Gods them­selves have been affected with them. Beauty has been always reverenced. The greatest Barbarians have sacrificed up­on its Altars. If according to Juvenal, it can hardly consist with wisdom, ‘Rara est adeò concordia formae Atque pudicitiae. Juv. Sat. 10.

It is because 'tis too much lov'd by men, and is continually in prospect to irregular passion, for otherwise far from being of it self a Vice, it seems to give a new lustre to Vertue.

Gratior & pulchro veniens è corpore virtus.
Virg. Ene­id. L. 5.

I will add yet something more, that in a fair body is generally lodg'd a no­ble soul. It is uncommon enough to see [Page 220]a handsom person absolutely wicked. Sweetness and Honesty seem to be in­seperable from Beauty. Thus it well de­serves that man should give it the pre­ference, and that he should search af­ter it with some care, when he is in­clined to marry. What satisfaction is it to have a wife, whose sight alone is capable of delighting you, and whom you judge worthy of your love, even when she has deserved your hatred!

Facta merent odium: Facies exorat amorem.
Ovid. amor. L. 3. El. 10.

I confess all women are not handsom, and that the number of those who are so, is small in comparison of those who are not. But, Sir, by a very particular Providence, in this as well as in all other things, every one has his fancy. That which displeases one, is pleasing to another. All men do not respect women with the same eye, nor in the same manner. No­thing is more various, than the Judgment they make of them. If some pay their vows to the fair person, how many are soonest reconciled to the brown? Some men are most affected with a fat Beau­ty, [Page 221]whilst others confer the Laurel up­on the slender one. Several will ima­gine those unhandsom, who will ap­pear agreeable to others. If one can accommodate himself only to a finish'd Beauty, another shall be satisfied with a good meen. Thus every one finds where­withal to indulge himself according to his inclination, and the Ideas which he frames of the Sex.

If it imports, that the Wife should please the Eyes, it imports still more that she should please the mind. It is not sufficient for her to be Handsome, or of a good meen, she ought chiefly to Sympathize with your humour, and that her Manners be conformable to yours.

Ʋxor vade foras, aut moribus u­tere nostris.
Mart. L. 11.

Without that, you will always disa­gree. You will be in eternal disputes. Your Marriage will be a sort of Sepul­cher, wherein you will be interred a­live.

[Page 222]
— Luctus
Non lectus. Tumulus non thalamus juerit.

It is a thing, 'tis true, wherein one is often deceiv'd, by reason of that Art of fiction which is so natural to the Sex. It is an ordinary saying, That there never was a wicked Maid, because they know how to appear good, when they are not so. St. Chrisostom remarks, that Horses and other Beasts are always bought upon trial; but that it is not so with a Wife. Sola uxor non ostenditur ne antè displiceat quam ducatur. If she be violent, hasty, proud, infirm, what­soever vice she has, we never find it till the Nuptials are over. He would in­sinuate hereby, that one runs a great hazard in Marrying; and I deny it not. But without having recourse either to that proof of six Months, practis'd in He­rodotus, by certain people of the Earth before Marriage; or to the Letter of divorce amongst the Jews and Romans, which are things directly contrary to the purity of Christianity, it is not impossi­ble to conduct ones self in this impor­tant Affair with some kind of assurance, by the means of several precepts of wisdom.

That which Aristotle gives, is to Mar­ry a young Wife, and one that is a Vir­gin, in order to the more easie forming of her into good Manners. He affords this reason elsewhere: Juvenes non sunt maligni moris, sed facilis, propterea quod nondum viderunt nequitias. It is undoubt­ed, that young Women are much more easie to modify than others. As they have not yet contracted any evil habits, you may without difficulty inspire them with good ones. Being scarce acquaint­ed with evil, they may so much the bet­ter suck in the good.

Dum faciles animi juvenum, dum mobilis aetas.
Virg. 3. Georg.

In effect, it is easie to imprint upon a heart the Maxims of Vertue, when it is void of the Maxims of Vice. It were better for a Wise to be wanting in some of the qualities necessary for the Con­duct of a House, than to have those which are capable of making a Husband unhappy. The one may be obtained with Years, but Years do but fortify the others.

If this advice be good, that of Hesiod is no less. He would have the person who is to Marry, take a young Wo­man of his Acquaintance and Neighbour­hood.

I don't know any precept, Sir, more important for practice than this. Why do Marriages ordinarily succeed so ill? It is because the parties Marry without knowing one another, and without di­stinguishing whether one be the make of the other One being inchanted with a beauty, which perhaps he never saw but once, is so transported with his love, that he can only sigh, and live for her, without examining whether she has besides what a Woman ought to have in order to live contented with her, and without considering any thing else but to satisfy his foolish Passion, he Marries her. The other through a desire of being Rich, will most willingly accept of such a Person who is the worst shap'd, and the least reasonable in the World, provi­ded he may have wherewith to make his Fortune. The greatest part of Marriages are made either by the interposition of another, or for reasons of wordly in­terest. [Page 225]One regards the out-side, without a thought of what relates to the in­ward part. A man examines the possessi­ons of a Woman, and is utterly un­acquainted with her Manners. This without dispute is the reason why so ma­ny people are unhappy in the choice they make. The principal thing then is, to study well the humour and con­duct of a Woman, in order to know if she has a conformity with yours, and if you could live peaceably together. For this end you must not go to seek her in a Country remote from you; you must, as far as in you lies, take her as it were at your door. It will be a dif­ficult matter if you see her often, and have a little regard to her deportments, not to discover at length all that she is.

Behold, Sir, a third precept, which is yet more assured than the other two. Marry a young Lady of good exstra­ction and who belongs to People of an irreproachable Life. This is founded up­on a Maxim, whose truth is sufficient­ly known, viz. That Children almost always resemble those from whom they deriv'd their being.

I know there are those who degenerate from the vertue of their Ancestors; but to speak generally, one may say, without danger of being decived, Like Father, like Son; like Mother, like Daugh­ter.

Saepe patris mores imitatur filius infans.
The boy oft imitates the Fathers man­ners.
Qualis erat mater, fiilia talis erit.
And the Daughter grenerally treads in her Mothers footsteps.

It is the Example they continually pro­pose to themselves. But they are al­ways more inclined to imitate them in evil, than in good. For, as Juvenal in­forms us,

Velocius & citius nos
Corrumpunt vitiorum exempla do­mestica.
Juv. Sat. 14.
Domestick examples soonest cor­rupt us.

There is nothing that more corrupts our Manners, than Domestick ill Examples. Doubtless then it would be a great im­prudence, for an honest man to Marry in­to a Family of a bad reputation, and to take the Daughter of a Mother who is either immodest, or sullied with some scandalous Vice. On the other side, one may presuppose much prudence and good dispositions in a damosel of good Ex­traction, and who was educated by a Vertuous Mother. Not but that excep­tions are to be allowed: The most ge­neral Rule is not excused from them. But it may be taken for granted, that this is one of the most certain, and that few of those who shall practise it, will find it unsuccessful.

I add, Sir, this Precept to the rest. In Marrying, affect as much as in you lies an Equality of condition and For­tune. If you take a Wife of a Family more exalted than yours, she will not fail to boast of it at your expence, you shall be sufficiently told of the Noble­ness of her Original, and the Baseness of your own. Besides, the certainty of at­tributing to her self the right of comman­ding. [Page 228]Let there be Wisdom then in the Counsel of Ovid,

Siqua voles antè nubere nube pari.
Ovid. Ep 9.
If you'l Marry hapiply, Marry your equal.

He doth not mean by this, that in order to Marry happily, an equality of Manners and Complexion is necessary. He would insinuate particularly, that that of Blood is essential to that end, and that it is hardly possible for instance, that a Ple­beian should succeed in his Match with a Lady of Quality. This is what ex­perience has often justified.

It would be much worse, if you should Marry one who hath more Rich­es than your self: Or if being poor, you should take a rich Wife. This is what the Poet calls having lost his Empire.

Argentum accipi, dole imperium vendidi.
Plaut.

The poor Man, says another, who has [Page 229]a Wife well endowed, has no Wife. He has a Superior at home, whom he must obey. And what can be more insup­portable for him?

Intolerablilius nihil est quam fae­mina dives.
Juv. Sat. 6.
Theres nothing more insuppor­table than a Rich Woman.

To avoid this inconvenience so repug­nant to the order of Nature, Lycurgus had forbid men to receive any portion with their Wives. The Relations of Japan, like­wise inform us, that this Law is exactly observed there still: It is founded upon this Maxim, that a Woman who has no­thing is all to her Husband. Whereas others occasion him a thousand Troubles and uneasinesses.

Dotatae mactant & malo & damno vi­ros

How little is this precept respected a­mongst men. when a Bachelor seeks af­ter a Wife, he doth not ask about her Vertues, but her Possessions. These in­clude [Page 230]all his desires, and the chief feli­city of Hymen. I confess that Riches may be very useful in Marriage, and that it is very pleasing to all the World to espouse them with a Wife, when she has besides all the qualities that are agree­able to him, for what has been said of one, is very often but too true: ‘O ter infelix qui existens pauper ducit ux­orem!’

But Sir, be perswaded, that Vertue is of infinite more worth without Riches, than Riches without Vertue; they ought never to be the end of Marriage: The same Author who speaks of Poverty in so dis­advantagious a manner, with relation to Marriage, doth not fail to acknowledge that Merit ought to be preferred to Sil­ver: ‘Morem praeponere pecuniis ducturum uxo­rem oportet.’

Yes without doubt, the best porti­on a Wife can bring to a Husband, is the wisdom of her and her Fathers.

Nothing but this is capable of rendring him happy in the possession of a Wife. If you take a Wife upon account of her ver­tue, you may assure your self that you will never repent of it. She will incessantly draw down upon you the blessings of Heaven, and you will find your self much happier with such a wife, even in the midst of indigence, than you would be in the greatest prosperity with a wife of Gold, but without this precious Vertue. He who enjoys such a one, says Cicero, has all that is necessary to live happily. In quo virtus sit eì nihil deesse ad beatè vivendum puto.

I have but one precept more to give you upon this subject. Be careful not to marry one against her will, who will always have a contempt of you. I will pronounce it boldly, nothing is more ca­pital than that in the design of mrari­age There are but very few of this kind, which have not very fatal conse­quences. Thinking to entertain in your Bed another self, such a one as a wise ought to be, you will lodge there a cruel adversary, who will every day find a thousand occasions to give you some disquiet.

[Page 232]
Hostis est uxor invita quae ad nuptum vi­ro datur.
A wife that is marry'd to a man against her will, is an Enemy.

It is the most unhappy thing a Fa­ther can be guilty of, to commit violence upon her inclination, and to constrain her to espouse a man whom she can­not love. You will never make her re­nounce her resentments. This marriage will occasion to you all the thorns and displeasures, which Juvenal represents in these Verses:

Semper habet lites, alternaque jurgia lectus,
In quo nupta jacet minimum dor­mitur in illo.
Juv. Sat. 6.
Tunc gravis illa viro.

The wife is a Victim, which ought to go voluntarily to the Altar. Her resistance would be of ill presage. The offering of her Heart is of more value than all the rest. If you are not loved by her, you are necessarily hated.

Aut amat, aut odit mulier. Non ha­bet medium.
[Page 233]
There's no Medium in a Woman, she al­ways either loves or hates.

Avoid then, as you would death, a woman in whom you see no disposition to love you. Admit her to be exqui­sitely fair, unmeasurably rich, extream­ly virtuous, she is not fit for you. Of what service is all that to you, if you are the object of her aversion? This e­vil, Sir, is almost without remedy. What cares soever you may take to win the heart of a wife, who is only yours by the force of paternal Authority, you will find it extreamly difficult to go through with it.

Never have any thoughts for marri­age, Sir, unless you resolve to practise all these precepts. I could add still ma­ny others: But these are the chief, and they suffice to make a good marriage. The mischief is, that people do not stop here, and that almost all those who mar­ry, act herein by motives disengaged from the subject they look after. The per­son which they take, is a thing of the least regard with them. They are de­termined by particular considerations. [Page 234]This enters into their design but by ac­cident, and after the rest. If she has a Fortune: If she can draw me out of necessity: If she belongs to persons who by their Credit are able to advance me, it is enough, says one. I demand no o­ther advantage. If besides all this she is handsom, well shaped, and vertuous, so much the better: It is a double hap­piness for me. But in case this doth not appear, the rest remaining, I shall not fail to marry her. What destruction of Maxims and good Sense! Now certain­ly to choose a wife with whom one may propose to live happily, a man is only to consider if she pleases him: If she be de­serving, and if she be derived from ho­nest parents. Whether she be rich or poor, it imports not.

Dummodo morata veniat. Dotata est sa­tis.
This without dispute is the directest way of reasoning.

After having given you precepts for the attaining to a happy Marriage, it is at present necessary to afford you some in order to live happily therein. They [Page 235]all consist in the practice of two sorts of Duties, towards two sorts of Persons. The one regard the wife, and the others refer to the Children. The good or evil of marriage proceed alone from these two parts. There was reason to say, Est uxor aut tutum refugium, aut pena­le tormentum. She is also as another Au­thor has it, either the ruine or safety of the Family, Mulier domi damnum est aut Salus. On another side, the wise man informs us that Children are the Joy or sorrow of their parents, according as they are well or ill inclined. This ren­ders the matter which remains to be treated of in order to fullfil the design of this work, very important. It is, Sir, so much the more, in that by acquitting your self of the duties whereof I shall discourse, you will make your wife be a blessed Fountain to you at all times, to speak with Solomon. All the world is not happy enough to meet with this advantage: The Precautions, which one takes for this end, are, I confess, some­times unprofitable: But it is almost in­fallible, that a wife, who by nature is not very reasonable, shall become so if the Husband rules himself with relati­on [Page 236]to her according to my Instructions.

I begin them, by declaring to you, that if you would be happy in Marri­age, you must necessarily be loved of your wife. You cannot be beloved of her, if you do not love her. Therefore be sure to love her. This is the first Lesson a Husband ought to learn. It comes from St. Paul: Hus­bands, says he, Eph. 5.25.28. love your Wives, as Christ loved his Church, &c. Would you know rhe reason? ‘Husbands ought to love their Wives as their own Bodies; He that loves his wife, loves himself. No body ever hated his own Flesh. By con­sequence the Husband ought to love his Wife, for his wife is his own flesh. They are no more two, but one flesh. What is more reasonable than this duty? what ought to be more precious to us, than our selves? We ought then in the first place to love our wives by a motive of self-love, since we cannot love our selves, but we must love them, being, that I may so speak, a part of our own substance: ‘Animae dimidium meae. Horat. [Page 237]What a prodigious thing would it be to see a man declare himself an enemy to himself, and to have an aversion for his own person? St. Paul assures us, that it was never seen, and insinuates to us that it is a thing not to be seen in the or­der of Nature. It is notwithstanding what arrives to all those who love not their wives.

A man ought in the second place to love his wife by a Motive either of per­sonal Interest, or pure acknowldgment. Either she loves you, or she doth not love you. If she loves you, you cannot without ingratitude forbear to love her. On the other side if she loves you not, you ought to love her, to the end that she may be won to love you. This Maxim of Seneca is of abfolute necessity in Marriage: Si vis amari, a­ma. Love is gain'd only by Love. It is not to be obtain'd by Force or Vi­olence. Amor extorqueri non potest, says Seneca. Naturally we love those who love us. If we did otherwise, we should be less reasonable than Brutes.

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Amore dicimus vinci feras.
We say that the very Brute Beasts are overcome by Love.
Sen. Trag.

A Philosopher of old time made these Questions and Answers. What is most insupportable in life? To love without being beloved. What is the most un­just thing in the world? To be beloved without loving. What is most morti­fying to a man? To see himself com­pelled to hate what he has loved. In a word, what is most dreadful to him? A love converted into hatred; which be­comes so much the more implacable, as the other was passionate.

Semper bonus amicus gravis irascitur.
Our best Friends are always the most angry with us.

All this, Sir, is true, and these are Axioms which make so many certain principles in the Morality of Men. A Husband that doth not love, or who loves without being beloved, is equally unhappy. The true secret to support patiently the inconveniences of Marriage, and to live happy therein, is to love. Mise­rable [Page 239]is he who marries without determin­ing to love his wife, and proposes only to embrace her Riches. Meipsum igitur a­mare oportet, non mea, si veri amici fu­turi simus. There is not a wife but has a right of using such language to her Hus­band, nor a Husband but ought to ob­serve the same to his wife.

After this Rule I cannot give you a better, than to afford your self for an Example to your wife: Of all the Max­ims of the Christian Morality, the most equitable and most certain is undoubted­ly this, to do to others what we would have done to our selves. Would you be beloved of your wife? Love her. Would you have her wife? Be so your self. Would you have her complaisant to you? Be you the same to her. Would you have her make appear a sweetness of Behaviour, and Fidelity in her Con­duct? Make appear the same in yours. Nothing is more just than this duty, and Husbands are insupportable to complain of the ill Humours, and untoward con­duct of their Wives, if their own is no bettter. One may say, that they are in some measure guilty of their Ir­regularities; [Page 240]because they would have persisted in wisdom, if their Husbands had not removed themselves from it. It is certain, as Plutarch observes, that the wife usually conforms her self to the manners of her Husband. And Aristo­tle informs us, that she will be always chast and constant to him, if she finds him so to her. Si mulier cognoverit [...]i­bi castum & fidum virum, & ipsa etiam casta & fida erit. You will say per­haps that this duty is of very difficult Practice, and that it were better not to marry at all, than to constrain ones self to this degree. I grant the difficulty. But what? would it not be scandalous to omit a thing which is good in it self, and very necessary for Salvation, be­cause it imposes an indispensible obliga­tion to be a good man, and to live ac­cording to the Maxims of Vertue? O God! What Christians are we? Is it not a thing which ought on the other side to determine men for Marriage? What method is more infallible to withdraw men from Debaucheries, or to prevent them, than Marriage? Doth not the ex­ample, which is owing to a wife and Children, render a Man more circumspect [Page 241]in his Conduct? Marriage is Bridle, that keeps men within the bounds of sanctity, and Motive to eschew Vices. Is there a single man, who doth not desire to be wise, and to be able to deserve the Praises of a good man? and is not this the true way that directs to it?

But, Sir, amongst the Vertues whose Example you owe to a wife, you must above all things study to inspire her with that of devotion. One cannot ima­gine what Good a devout Wife is ca­pable of doing a Husband, and the ad­vantages he may receive from thence. Whether he be sick or well, rich or poor: In prosperity, or in misery; in joy, or sorrow: He will always find in her an assistance proportioned to his ne­cessities. St. Paul somewhere says, that Piety is good for every thing. I say as much of a devout Wife. Nothing is more Angelical, nothing more excellent. Happy, and thrice happy, may one call that man, to whom Heaven has afford­ed such a present.

The exterior Cause of Devotion is the frequent Reading Divine Books, [Page 242]and the works of Piety of Ecclesiastical Authors. To this, Sir, you ought to turn the genius of your Wife, as much as in you lies. If once she takes a plea­sure herein, 'tis almost infallible that she will have a regard to her Salvation, a contempt for the World, and a hor­rour for Sin, which are the essential Characters of true devotion. But if this kind of reading be infinitely neces­sary to dispose a Wife to wisdom, that of Romances and Comedies is not less effectual to turn her inclination from it. Whatsoever may be said in favour of these eloquent fictions, I can assure you that nothing is fitter to corrupt the heart and to inflame it with the love of Creatures. If Fathers and Mothers were sensible of the pernicious impressions, which these sorts of books are capable of giving their Daughters, they would undoubtedly employ all their cares to conceal the very Names from them. Take off your Wife therefore from the humour of reading such books. It is a School wherein she will never fail to learn what will render you unhappy, they will make her wanton, vain, ridiculous, insup­portable. When she comes to compare [Page 243]you with those imaginary Heroes dressed in Romances after the manner of the Gods, she will be apt to esteem you no longer, you will almost necessarily become the Object of her contempt. On the other side, be careful to put into her hands the Prophets and Apostles: Let this be her ordinary Employment. Let her make thereof the whole matter of her diversion. O Holy and Divine School, where one learns to become like God himself, and to practise the Duties of an Angelical perfection:

Prayer is both the principal act of Devotion, and the most assured means to obtain Grace. Practise it, Sir, and make your Wife practise the same with exactness. Accustom your self to pray often to God with her in the midst of your Family: Humble your selves often together before that Eter­nal Majesty, from whom you expect all your good things, and all your Com­forts. Let him hear several times in a day the voice of your heart with that of your mouth. Represent to him all your wants, and make appear in your Prayers a holy ardour, that may in­flame [Page 244]the zeal of your Wife. Were she the most unreasonable of Women, she would become the Sweetest and most compliant, if you would confine your self, as you ought, to the practice of this Duty. It is extreamly neglected now a-days in the most part of Christian Families, to their shame be it spoken, and we have but too much reason to say with the Poet, ‘Heu pietas! Virg. Aen. 6 Heu prisca fides!’

Above all, Sir, a man ought to live in a good understanding with his wife, and to agree well together in relation to Do­mestick affairs. In the little state of a Family, as well as in the great State of the Republick, concord is absolutely ne­cessary for its subsistence. By that, says Salust, the least things become great, and without it the greatest are of no ac­count. Concordiâres parvae crescunt. Dis­cordiâ maximae dilabuntur. When a Husband and Wife misunder­stand one another, Sal. in Jug. and each fol­lows his own caprice or design, all is lost, the family falls of course. This [Page 245]is called in our Proverbial Language to Light a Candle at both Ends. If you don't instruct your Wife in your affairs, and manage all things without her par­ticipation, she will easily be perswaded of one of these two things. Either she will believe that you are Rich, when perhaps you are poor: Or she will ima­gin that you are poor, when it may be you are Rich. This double error will make her fall into a double excess. Ei­ther she will become Prodigal, and be at a hundred sorts of vain and unprofi­table expences: Or she will become co­vetous, and spare even what's necessary. Both will be equally inconvenient for you. To avoid which, impose upon your self this Law of accounting to her your ad­ministration. Let her know from time to time the terms you are in with Fortune. Undertake nothing of moment without her advice. It is both just and advantage­ous for you to do so. For what end have the Laws and customs established com­munity of goods between Husbands and Wives, but to inform us, that as both ought to contribute their utmost cares to make it good, so it is just that the Hus­bands who are masters thereof, should in­form [Page 246]their Wives of the good or evil, the loss or the advantage of it. Is it not a thing which regards them in com­mon? would it be reasonable for them to be always ignorant of their own af­fairs? and can they bear with such un­just Husbands, whose single aim is to hold them perpetually in ignorance, to deceive them, and to conceal all things from them? it is not to be admired at, if they find themselves mistaken, and if their wives practise on their side such methods as displease them. Let a wife be never so patient and easy, it is im­possible to bear for ever with a Husband, who uses her like a Turk or Moor, and not as his wife, but as his Servant. Where­fore I said, that it was for his advantage to treat her otherwise, and to discover to her the whole bottom of his heart and his af­airs. In effect, besides that this will please her, and that she will find her self obliged to a Husband that has so much complai­sance for her, she will learn by this means to regulate her expences, and to manage her self after a manner proportion'd to the condition of the family. What is more important, and deserves more applicati­on, than the practice of this Precept?

But this is enough concerning the me­thods Husbands ought to practise to­wards their wives, in order to live hap­py in their Society. Now let us see in a few words, to the end we may con­clude this work, to what this design en­gages them with relation to their Chil­dren. This, Sir, is one of the Springs, from whence as I have said, proceeds to married persons all their happiness, or all their Misfortune. In effect, when a man has Children, that seem to be well born, and in whom appear the marks of a true wisdom, as miserable as he is, and how great soever rheir number is, he finds therein the motives of a very sweet consolation. On the other side, what is more afflicting than to have such as are vicious, and of unwise conduct? Solomon assures us of both; Filius sapi­ens, says he, laetisicat Patrem. Filius stul­tus dolor est Patris. A wise Son rejoices the Father, the foolish Son is the grief of the Father.

From thence you may judge of what importance education is, and how neces­sary it is to give Children a good one. Educatio & disciplina mores facit, says Seneca. Plutarch regards it as a new birth, [Page 248]which we take in the bosom of our Ma­sters. And Aristotle puts those Masters, who have taught us the art of living well in the rank of those to whom we can ne­ver acquit our selves of the obligation, Magistris, Diis, & Parentibus non potest reddi aequivalens. They are all equally reasonable. For if it be true, that Praemium virtutis est bona institutio, it necessarily follows, both that Education is whats ve­ry considerable for men, and that we are no less obliged to our fathers for having given us a good one, than for our life it self; and that we can never shew ac­knowledgment enough. 'Tis a great deal, I confess, to have received a being, but I dare affirm that it is infinitely more to have received a good one. Birth gives us one common with beasts: But 'tis education that presents us with the other, and which renders us in some kind, like to the Angels.

But, Sir, if a good Education be ve­ry important with relation to the Chil­dren, it is no less in regard of the Fa­thers. If it be to the one a principle of wisdom, it is one of good fortune to the others. As I have said, a Father cannot [Page 249]be happy, if his Children be unwise. The one is a necessary step to the o­ther. From whence appears the indispen­sible obligation of a Father to sacrifice with pleasure his cares and his substance for the instruction of his Children, and the forming of them to good manners. When he has the advantage of succeeding herein, he tasts in Marriage that felici­ty which I have spoken of in my first part: that is to say, what is most agree­able, and delightful in the World.

All Fathers, 'tis true, are not in a condi­tion to advance their Children to Sciences, nor capable of teaching them themselves. I confess, this is a misfortune for both. I know very well that Sciences are not absolutely necessary to bring men to the habits of wisdom. They may be obtained, I grant, without them. Not­withstanding it must be agreed on, that they may be of great use towards it, and that Philosopher, doubtless, had rea­son to place in the number of those prin­cipal Subjects he had to thank God for, that he was a Philosopher. In ef­fect, there is much less corruption amongst the Learned, than amongst others. Their [Page 250]vice is less in the heart, than in the un­derstanding, and it consists more in opi­nion than in action. As imperfect as knowing men are, they always make appear in their conduct some degrees of honesty, which distinguish them to advantage. If knowledge has corrupted men, it has been by accident, after the same manner that the Sun infects com­mon Sinks and Carcasses. It has been often abused, I confess, but in the bot­tom nothing is beter of it self. Would to God, said Moses, that all these People were Prophets! There is not a Father but ought to make the same wish for his Children, to desire they might be­come Learned, and to use his last endea­vours to obtain them this advantage, as the greatest of all goods.

Observe, Sir, that to succeed well in the Education of Children, one must go in the midst of two opposite extremi­ties, and preserve a just temper between severity and indulgence. Love and Fear ought to divide the whole christi­an Education on the childrens side, as correction and instruction on the fathers. If you give them too large a freedom, [Page 251]they will despise you: If you allow them none they will hate you. If you have too much indulgence for them, they will become licentious: If you are too austere, they will be too re­serv'd. In a word, if you make appear too much sweetness in your conduct, theirs will be extreamly loose. On the other side, if you never look upon them but with an angry eye, you make them vio­lent, extravagant, and insensible of all your Exhortations. You see then how necessary it is to joyn these two things together in paternal discipline. A Fa­ther ought in some measure to imitate God herein, of whom the Prophet says, That in the midst of his chastisements he always thinks of Mercy. The Father, 'tis true, is the sovereign Magistrate of his Family, and as such he ought to try his children, and punish them when he finds them guilty. But if he condemns them as a Judge, he ought to chastise them as a Father, that is to say, with huma­nity, and emotions of Love.

[Page 252]
Pro peccato magno paulum sup­plicij satis est patri.
Terent. in And. Sect. 5. Sc. 3.
A small punishment atones for a great fault with a father.

This manner of acting is in effect a very good way to make us be loved and feared of our children: For as Quintilian says perfectly well, Quin. De­clam. 4. Plures moribus quam viribus vincimus. We reduce them much better to their duty by a soft and familiar conduct, than we can ever be a­ble to do by force and violence. And altho' one should always preserve a cer­tain grave Character with them, which may obtain respect, yet it is much bet­ter to retain them in their duty by love, than by fear: By a modest Liberty, than too severe a constraint.

Pudore & Liberalitate liberos
Retinere satius [...]esse credo, quàm metu.
I'm of the opinion that 'tis the safer way to keep our children within their duty by modesty and Liberality than fear.
Jer. in Adelph.

Thus, Sir, I have finished my design: Which was, to shew you the Excellen­cy, Necessity, and Happiness of Marriage. Nothing more remains for me, but to make wishes for the prosperity of yours, when it shall please God to establish you therein.

Dij faciant possis gaudere fideli conjuge.
Ovid.
Gods grant you the Joy of a faithful Wife.

I wish you this advantage with all my heart. Without it, of what service would all the rest be? I hope it will not be wanting to you, and that God at length will hearken to my prayers upon this subject.

FINIS.
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