I Am this day to handle the instance of [ Christ's being forsaken by his Friends and Followers.]

He thought meet to foret [...]ll them, how they should▪ manifest their infirmity and [Page 2] untrustiness in this temporary forsaking of him, that so he might fullyer con­vince them, that he knew what was in Man, and that he knew future contingen­cies (or things to come, which seem most dependent on the Will of Man) and that he voluntarily submitted to his deserted State, and expected no support from Creatures, but that Man should then do least for Christ, when Christ was doing most for Man; that Man by an unthankful forsaking Christ, should then manifest his forsaken deplorate state, when Christ was to make Atonement for his Reconciliation to God, and was preparing the most costly Remedy for his Recovery. He foretold them of the Fruit which their Infirmity would produce, to hum­ble them that were apt to think too highly of themselves for the late free Confession they had made of Christ, when they had newly said [ Now we are sure that thou knowest all things: by this we are sure, that thou comest forth from God, ver. 30.

He answereth them [ Do ye now be­lieve? Behold, the hour cometh, &c.] Not that Christ would not have his Servants know his graces in them, but he would [Page 3] also have them know the Corruption that is latent, and the infirmity consistent with their grace. We are very apt to judge of all that is in us, and of all that we shall do hereafter, by what we feel at the present upon our hearts. As when we feel the stirring of some Corruption, we are apt to think that there [...] no­thing else, and hardly perceive the con­trary grace, and are apt to think it will never be better with us: So when we feel the Exercise of Faith, Desire or Love, we are apt to overlook the contrary Corruptions, and to think that we shall never feel them more. But Christ would keep us both humble and vigilant▪ by acquainting us with the mutability and unconstancy of our minds. When it goes well with us, we forget that the time is coming when it may go worse. As Christ said to his Disciples, he [...]e in the case of Believing, we may say to our selves in that and other [...] ▪ Do we now Believe? It is well [...] But the time may be coming in which we may be brought to shake with th [...] stirrings of our remaining Unbelief, and shrewdly tempted to question the [...] of Ch [...]i­stianity it self, and of the [...]oly Scrip­tures, [Page 4] and of the Life to come. Do we now rejoyce in the persuasions of the Love of God? The time may be coming when we may think our selves forsaken and undone, and think he will esteem and use us as his Enemies. Do we now pray with fervour, and pour out our Souls enlargedly to God? It is well: But the time may be coming when we shall seem to be as dumb and prayer­less, and say, we cannot pray, or else we find no audience and acceptance of our Prayers. Christ knoweth that in us which we little know by our selves; and therefore may foreknow, that we will commit such Sins, or fall into such Dan­gers, as we little fear.

What Christ here prophesieth to them did afterwards all come to pass. As soon as ever Danger and Trouble did appear, they began to flag, and to shew how ill they could adhere unto him or suffer with him, without his special cor­roborating Grace. In the Garden when he was sweating Blood in Prayer, they were sleeping; Though the Spirit was willing, the Flesh was weak: They could not▪ watch with him one hour, Mat. 26.40, 41. When he was apprehend­ed, [Page 5] they shifted each Man for himself, Mat. 26.56. [ Then all the Disciples forsook him and fled. And as this is said to be that the Scriptures might be ful­filled, Mat. 26.54, 56. so it might be said to be, That this prediction of Christ himself might be fulfilled. Not that Scripture Prophesies did cause the Sin by which they were fulfilled, nor that God caused the sin to fulfill his own Predictions, but that God cannot be deceived who foretold in Scriptures long before, that thus it would come to pass: When it is said, That [ thus it must be, that the Scripture may be ful­filled] the meaning is not that [ thus God [...] but only Necess [...] [...]; a Logical Necessity in [...] noscendi & dicendi; nor a [...] in ordine essendi: [...] of the Thing it self as caused by [...] Prediction or Decree; but a [...] of the Truth of this [...]; [ such a thing will b [...], [...] hath decreed, foreknown or foretold [...] [Page 4] [...] [Page 5] [...] [Page 6] or [ whatever God foretelleth, must nes­cessarily come to pass, that is, will cer­tainly come to pass: but this God hath foretold; therefore this will come to pass.]

Here are three observable points in the Text, that are worthy our distinct Consideration, though for brevity sake I shall handle them together.

1. That Christ was forsaken by his own Disciples, and left alone.

2. When the Disciples left Christ, they were scattered every one to his own. They returned to their old Habitations, and old Acquaintance, and old Employment, as if their hopes and hearts had been almost broken, and they had lost all their labour in following Christ so long: Yet the root of Faith and Love that still remained, caused them to enquire fur­ther of the end, and to come together in secret to confer about these Matters.

3. When Christ was forsaken of his Disciples, and left alone, yet was he not forsaken of his Father, nor left so alone as to be separated from him or his love.

We [...] [...]ow [...]o consider of this, [...] [...] as a part of Christs Humiliation, [...] as a Point in which we must [...] to be conformed to him. It may [Page 7] possibly seem strange to us, that Christ would suffer all his Disciples to forsake him in his Extremity; and I doubt it will seem strange to us, when in our extremity, and our suffering for Christ (and perhaps for them) we shall find our selves forsaken by those that we most highly valued, and had the greatest familiarity with. But there are many Reasons of this permissive Providence open to our observation.

1. No wonder, if when Christ was suffering for Sin, he would even then permit the Power and odiousness of sin to break forth, that it might be known he suffered not in vain. No wonder, if he permitted his Followers to [...] him, and to shew the latent [...] and Selfishness, and unthankfulness tha [...] remained in them, that so they might know, that the death of Christ was as necessary for them as for others; and the universality of the Disease might shew the need that the Remedy should be Vniversal. And it is none of Christs intent to make his Servants to seem better than they are, to themselves or others, or to honour himself by the hiding of their Faults, but to magnifie his par­doning [Page 8] and healing grace, by the means or occasion of the sins which he pardoneth and healeth.

2. H [...]reby he will bring his Followers to the fuller knowledge of themselves, and shew them that which all their days should keep them humble, and watchful, and save them from p [...] [...]sump­tion and trusting in themselves: When we have made any full Confession of Christ, or done him any considerable service, we are apt to say with the Disciples, Mat. 19.27. [ Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed thee; VVhat shall we have?] As if they had rather been Givers to Christ, than Receivers from him; and had highly [...] his hands: But when [...] him, and the rest shift for them­ [...]lves, and when they come to them­selves after such cowardly and ungrate­ful Dealings, then they will be [...]ter understand their Weakness, and know on whom they must de [...]end.

3. Hereby also they shall better un­derstand what they would have been, if God had le [...]t them to themselves, that so they may be thankful for grace recei­ved, and may not boast themselves a­gainst [Page 9] the miserable world, as if they had made themselves to differ, and had not received all that grace by which they ex­cel the common sort: when our falls have hu [...]t us and shamed us, we shall know to whom we must be beholden to support us.

4. Christ would permit his Disciples thus far to forsake him, because he would have no support from man, in his sufferings for man: This was part of his voluntary humiliation, to [...]e deprived of all earthly comforts, and to be [...]r affliction even from those few, that b [...]t lately were his faith­ful servants: that men dealing like men, and sinners, while he was doing like God, and as a Saviour, no man might challenge to himself the honour of contributing to the Redemption of the world, so much as by encouraging the Redeemer.

5. Christ did permit the Faith and courage of his Disciples thus far to fail, that their witness to him might be of the greater credit and authority, when his actual Resurrection and the Communica­tion of the Spirit should compel them to believe: when all their doubts were dis­sipated, they that had doubted themsel­ves, and yet were constrained to believe, wo [...]ld be received as the most impartial [Page 10] witnesses by the doubting world.

6. Lastly, by the desertion and dissi­pation of his Disciples, Christ would teach us whenever we are called to fol­low him in suffering, what to expect from the best of men; Even to know that of themselves they are untrusty, and may fail us: and therefore not to look for too much assistance or encouragement from them. Paul lived in a time when Chri­stians were more self-denying and sted­fast than they are now: And Paul was one that might better expect to be faith­fully accompanied in his sufferings for Christ, than any of us: And yet he saith, 2 Tim. 4.16. [ At my first answer no man stood with me, but all men forsook me:] and prayeth, that it be not laid to their charge: Thus you have seen some Rea­sons why Christ consented to be left of all, and permitted his Disciples to desert him in his sufferings.

Yet note here, that it is but a partial temporary forsaking that Christ permit­teth▪ and not a total or final forsaking or Apostasie. Though he will let them see that they are yet men, yet will he not leave them to be but as other men: Nor will he quite cast them off, or suffer them to perish.

[Page 11]Nor is it all alike that thus forsake him; Peter doth not do as Iudas: The sincere may manifest their infirmity; but the Hy­pocrites will manifest their Hypocrisie.

And accordingly in our sufferings our familiars that were fals-hearted (as being worldlings and carnal at the heart may perhaps betray us, and set against us, or forsake the cause of Christ, and follow the way of gain and honour: when our temp­ted shrinking friends that yet may have some sincerity, may perhaps look strange at us, and seem not to know us, and may hide their heads, and shew their fears; and perhaps also begin to study some self-deceiving arguments and distinctions, and to stretch their consciences, and venture on some sin, because they are afraid to venture on affliction; till Christ shall cast a gracious rebuking quickning aspect on them, and shame them for their sinful shame, & fear them from their sinful fears, and inflame their Love to him by the mo­tions of his Love to them, and destroy the Love that turned them for him: And then the same men that dishonourably failed Christ and us, and began to shrink, will turn back and re-assume their arms, [Page 12] and by patient suffering overcome, and win the Crown as we have done before them.

Vse. CHristians, expect to be confor­med to your Lord in this part of his Humiliation also: Are your friends yet fast and friendly to you? For all that expect that many of them at least should prove less friendly: and promise not your selves an unchanged constancy in them: Are they yet useful to you? ex­pect the time when they cannot help you: Are they your comforters and de­light, and is their company much of your solace upon earth? Be ready for the time when they may become your sharp­est scourges, and most heart-peircing grief [...], or at least whom you shall say, We have no pleasure in them. Have any of them, or all, already failed you? what wonder? Are they not men, and sinners? To whom were they ever so constant. As not to fail them? Rebuke your selves for your unwarrantable expectations from them▪ And learn hereafter to know what man is; and expect that friends should use you as followeth.

[Page 13]1· Some of them that you thought sincere, shall prove perhaps unfaithful and dissemblers, and upon fallings out, or mat­ters of self-interest may seek your ruine. Are you better than David that had an Achitophel? or than Paul that had a Do­mas? or than Christ that had a Iudas? Some will forsake God: what wonder then if they forsake you? Because iniqui­ty shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold, Mat. 24.12▪ Where pride and vain glory, and sensuality and worldliness are unmortified at the heart, there is no trustiness in such persons: For their wealth, or honour, or fleshly interest, they will part with God and their Sal­vation; much more with their best de­serving friends. Why may not you as well as Iob have occasion to complain, [ He hath put my Brethren far from me, and my Acquaintance are very estranged from me: My kin [...]folk have failed, and my familiar Friends have [...]actten me: They that dwell in my House, and my Maid­en [...] count me for a Stranger, I am an A­lien in their sight: I called my Servant, and he gave me no Answer, I intreated him with my mouth [...] My breath is strange to my Wife; though I intreated for the [Page 14] Childrens sake of my own Body: Yea, young Children dispised me: I arose, and they spake [...]gainst me: All my inward friends abhorred me: and they whom I loved are turned against me, Job 19.13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 1 [...], 19. Why may not you as well as David be put to sav, Yea mine own familiar Friend in whom I trust­ed, which did eat of my Bread, hath lift up his Heel against me!] Psal. 41.9. Those that have been most acquainted with the secrets of your Soul, and pri­vy to your very thoughts, may be the persons that shall betray you, or grow strange to you. Those that you have most obliged by benefits, may prove your greatest Enemies. You may find some of your Friends like Birds of prey, that hover about you for what they can get, and when they have catcht it, fly a­way. If you have given them all that you have, they will forsake you, and perhaps reproach you, because you have no more to give them. They are your Friends more for what they yet expect from you, than for what they have al­ready received. If you cannot still be helpful to them, or feed their covetous desires, or supply their wants, you are [Page 15] to them but as one that they had ne­ver known. Many a faithful Minister of Christ hath studied, and preacht, and prayed, and wept for their Peoples Souls, and after all have been taken for their Enemies, and used as such; yea even because they have done so much for them. Like the Patient, that being cured of a mortal sickness, sued his Physician at Law for making him sick with the Phy­sick (But it is indeed our uncured Pati­ents only that are offended with us.) Paul was accounted an Enemy to the Galathians, because he told them the truth. Ungrateful truth maketh the faithfullest Preachers most ungrateful. It must seem no wonder to a Preacher of the Gospel, when he hath entreated, prayed, and wept night and day for miserable Souls, and laid his hands as it were under their feet in hopes of their Conversion and Salvation, to find them after all, his bitter Enemies, and seek­ing his Destruction, that could have laid down his Life for their Salvation. Ieremy seemed too impatient under this afflicti­on, when he said [ Give heed to me, O Lord, and hearken to the Voice of them that contend with me: Shall Evil be re­compensed [Page 16] for good? Remember that I stood before thee to speak good for them, and to turn away thy Wrath from them: Therefore deliver up their Children to the famine, and pour out their blood by the force of the S [...]ond, &c. Jer. 18, 19, 20.

Thus may Ingratitude afflict you, and kindness be requited with unkindness, and the greatest benefits be forgotten, and requited with the greatest wrongs: Your old Familiars may be your Foes: and you may be put to say as Ieremy [For I heard the defaming of many: Fear on every side: Report, say they, and we will report it: All my Familiars watched for my halting, saying, Peradventure he will be enticed, and we shall prevail against him, and we shall take our revenge on him.] Jer. 20.10. Thus must the Servants of Christ be used, in conformity to their suffering Head.

2. And some that are sincere, and whose hearts are with you, may yet be drawn by temptation to disown you: When malice is slandering you, time­rous friendship may perhaps be silent▪ and afrai [...] to just [...]fie you or take your part. When a Peter in such imbecility and fear can disown and deny his suffer­ing [Page 17] Lord, what wonder if faint hearted friends disown you, or me, that may give them too much occasion or pretence? Why may not you and I be put to say as David did, Psal. 38.11, 12. [ My lo­vers and my Friends stand aloof from my sore, and my Kinsmen stand afar off: They that seek after my Life lay Snares for me: And they that seek my hurt speak mischie­vous things, and imagine deceits all the day long.] They that in fearfulness will [...]ail their Maker and Redeemer, and ha­zard their Salvation, may by a smaller temptation be drawn to fail such friends as we.

3. Moreover, a hundred things may [...] action or [...] may cause passions in [...] these may grow so high till [...] seem to one another to be like [...]: Paul and Barnabas may grow so hot, as to fall out to a parture. How easily can Satan let fire on the Tinder which he findeth in the best and gentlest natures, if God permit him? No Friends so near and dear, that passionate weaknesses may not either alienate or make a grief to [Page 18] one another; how apt are we to take un­kindnesses at one another, and to be sus­picious of ou [...] Friends, or offended with them? And how apt to give occasion of such offence? How apt are we to cen­sure one another, and to misinterpret the words and actions of our Friends? And how apt to give occasion of such mistakes and cutting censures? And the more kindness we have found in, or ex­pected from our Friends, the more their real or supposed injuries will affect us. We are apt to say, [ Had it been a stran­ger, I could have born it: But to be used thus by my bosom or familiar Friend, goes near my heart.] And indeed the unkind­ness of Friends is no small affliction [...] th [...] suffering going usually as near the Hea [...]t, as the person that caused it was near it: Especially when our own weakness cau­seth us to forget the frailty and infirmi­ties of Man, and with what allowances and expectations we must choose and use our Friends; and when we forget the Love that remaineth in the midst of passions.

4. Also cross Interests and unsuitableness may exceedingly interrupt the fastest friend [...]hip. Friendship is very much found­ed [Page 19] in suitableness, and maintained by it: And among mortals, there is no perfect s [...]it [...]bleness to be found; but much un­suitablen [...]ss still remaineth. That which pleaseth one, is displeasing to another: One li [...]eth this place, and the other that: One liketh this habit, and the other that: One is for mirth, and the other fo [...] sad­ness: One for talk, and the other for si­lence: One for a publick, and the other for a private life. And their personallity or individuation having self love as inse­parable, will unavoidably [...]use a contra­riety of interests. The Creature is in­sufficient for us: If one have it, perhaps the other must want it: Like a covering too narrow for the bed. Sometimes our [...]puta [...]ions seem to stand a [...], so that one mans is diminished by anothers: and then how apt is envy to create a grudge, and raise unfriendly jealousies and dis­tastes. Sometimes the Commodity of one is the discommodity of the other: And then [ Mine and Thine] (which are con­trary to the community of friendship) may divide and alienate, and make two of those that seemed one. The instances of Abraham and Lot (upon the differ­en [...]e among their Servants) and of Isaac [Page 20] and Ishmael, and of [...]acob and Esau, and of [...]ban and Iacob, and of Leah and Ra­chel [...] and of Ioseph and his Brethren, and of Saul and David, and of Ziba Mephi­bosheth and David, with many oth [...]rs tell us this. It is rare to meet with a Iona­than, that will endearedly love that man to the death, who is appointed to de­prive him of a Kingdom. If one can but say [ I suffer by him, or I am a looser by him] it seemeth enough to excuse un­friendly thoughts and actions. When you can gratifie the desires of all the co­vetous, ambitious, self-seeking persons in the World, or else cure their diseases, and possess their minds with perfect C [...] ­rity, then [...]ll the [...] hath over and over again given [...] as full and sad demonstrations of th [...] [...] of Cross opinions, to alienate [...] and make divisions, as most ages of the World have ever had. If your Friend [...] proud, it's wonderful how he will [...]ligh [...] you, and withdraw his Love, if you [...] not of his mind ▪ If he be zealous, he is ea­sily tempted, to think it a part of his [Page 21] duty to God, to disown you if you dif­fer from him, as taking you for one that disowneth the truth of God, and there­fore one that God himself disowneth; or at least to grow cold in his affection to­ward you, and to decline from you, as he that thinks you do from God. As agreement in opinions doth strangely re­concile Affections; so disagreement doth secretly and strangely alienate them; e­ven before you are well aware, your Friend hath lost possession of your hearts, because of an unavoidable diversity of apprehensions: When all your Friends have the same intellectual complexion and temperature, and measure of understand­ing with your selves, then you may have hope to escape the ruptures, which un­likeliness and differences of apprehensi­ons might else cause.

6. Moreover, some of your friends may so far overgrow you in wisdom, or wealth, or honour, or worth, in their own conceits, that they may begin to take you to be unsuitable for them, and unmeet for their further special friendship. Alas poor man, they will pity thee that thou art no wiser, and that thou hast no grea­ter light to change thy mind as fast as [Page 22] they, or that thou art so weak and igno­rant as not to see what seems to them so clear a truth; or that thou art so simple to cast away thy self by crossing them that might prefer thee, or to f [...]ll under the displeasure of those that have power to raise or ruine thee: But if thou be so simple, thou mayest be the object of their lamentation, but art no familiar friend for them. They think it fittest to close and converse with those of their own rank and stature, and not with such shrubs and chil­dren, that may prove their trouble and dishonour.

7. And some of your friends will think that by a more through acquain­tance with you, they have found out more of your infirmities or faults; and therefore have found that you are less aimable and valuable than at first they judged you: They will think that by distance, unacquaintedness, and an over­hasty love and judgment, they were mistaken in you; and that now they see reason to repent of the love which they think was guilty of some errors and ex­cess: when they come nearer you, and have had more tryal of you, they will think they are fitter to judge of you than [Page 23] before: And indeed our defects are so many, and all our infirmities so great, that the more men know us, the more they may see in us that deserveth pity or reproof; and as Pictures, we appear less beautiful at the nearest view: Though this will not warrant the withdrawing of that Love which is due to friends, and to vertue even in the imperfect: nor will excuse that alienation and decay of friendship that is caused by the pride of such as overlook, perhaps much greater failings and weaknesses in themselves, which need forgiveness.

8. And perhaps some of your Friends will grow weary of their Friendship, ha­ving that infirmity of humane nature, not to be much pleased with one thing long. Their love is a flower that quick­ly withereth: It is a short liv'd thing that soon groweth old. It must be novel­ty that must feed their love and their de­light.

9. And perhaps they may have got some better Friends in their apprehen­sions, that may have so much interest as to take them up, and leave no room for antient Friends. It may be they have met with those that are more suitable, or [Page 24] can be more useful to them: that have more learning, or wit, or wealth, or power, than you have, and therefore seem more worthy of their Friendship.

10. And some of them may think when you (are in a low and suffering state, and in danger of worse, that it is part of their duty of self-preservation to be strange to you though in heart they wish you well) They will think they are not bound to hazard themselves upon the displeasure of superiours, to own or befriend you or any other: Though they must not desert Christ, they think they may desert a man for their own preservation.

To avoid both extreams in such a case, men must both study to understand which way is most serviceable to Christ, and to his Church, and withal to be able to de­ny themselves, and also must study to un­derstand what Christ meaneth in his fi­nal sentence [ In as much as you did it (or did it not) to one of the least of these my Brethren, you did it (or did it not (to me.] As if it were to visit the Contagious, we must neither cast away our lives to do no good, or for that which in value holdeth no proportion with them; nor yet must we deny to run any hazard when it is in­deed [Page 25] our duty: So is it in our visiting those that suffer for the cause of Christ: (but that here the owning them being the co [...] ­fessing of him, we need more seldom to fear being too forward.)

11. And some of your friends may co­ver their faithfulness with the pretence of some fault that you have been guilty of, some errour that you hold, or some un­hansom or culpable act that you have done, or some duty that you have left undone or failed in. For they think there is not a better shelter for their unfaithfulness, then to pretend for it the Name and Cause of God, and so to make a duty of their sin. Who would not justifie them, if they can but prove, that God requireth them, and Religion o [...]ligeth th [...]m to forsake you f [...]r your faults? There are few crimes in the world that by some are not fathered on God (that most hateth them) as think­ing no name can so much honour them. False friends therefore use this means as well as other Hypocrites: And though God is Love, and condemneth nothing more than uncharitableness & malice, yet these are commonly by falsha [...]ted Hypo­crites, called by pious vertuous names, and God himself is entitled to them: so [Page 26] that few worldlings, ambitious persons or timeservers, but will confidently pre­tend Religion for all their falshood to their friends, or bloody cruelty to the servants of Christ, that comply not with their carnal interest.

12. Perhaps some of your friends may really mistake your case, and think that you suffer as evil doers, and instead of com­forting you, may be your sharpest censur­ers: This is one of the most notable things set out to our observation in the book of Iob: It was not the smallest part of his affliction, that when the hand of God was heavy upon him, and then if ever was the time for his friends to have been his comforters, and friends indeed, on the contrary they became his scourge, and by unjust accusations, and misinterpre­tations of the providence of God, did greatly add to his affliction! when God had taken away his children, wealth and health, his friends would take away the reputation and comfort of his integrity; and under pretence of bringing him to re­pentance, did charge him with that which he was never guilty of; They wounded his good name, and would have wounded his conscience, and deprived him of his in­ward [Page 27] peace: Censorious false accusing friends do cut deeper then malicious slan­dring enemies. It is no wonder if strang­ers or enemies do misjudge and misreport our actions: But when your bosom friends, that should most intimately know you, and be the cheif witness of your innocency against all others, shall in their jealousie, or envy, or peevishness▪ or falling out, be your chief reproachers and unjust accu­sers, as it makes it serve more credible to others, so it will come nearest to your selves. And yet this is a thing that must be expected: yea even your most self-de­nying acts of obedience to God, may be so misunderstood by godly men, and real friends, as by them to be taken for your great miscarriage, and turned to your re­buke: As Davids dancing before the Ark was by his wife; which yet did but make him resolve to be yet more vile: If you be cast into poverty, or disgrace, or prison, or banishment, for your necessary obedience to Christ, perhaps your friend or wife may become your accuser for this greatest service, and say, This is your own doing: your rashness, or in­discretion, or self-conceitedness, or will­fulness hath brought it upon you: what [Page 28] need had you to say such words, or to do this or that? why could not you have yeilded in so small a matter?] Perhaps your costliest and most excellent obedience shall by your nearest friends be called the fruits of pride, or humour, or passion, or some corrupt affection, or at least of folly and inconsiderateness. When flesh and blood hath long been striving in you a­gainst your duty, and saying, [Do not cast away thy self: O serve not God at so dear a rate: God doth not require thee to undo thy self: why shouldest thou not avoid so great inconveniences?] When with much ado you have conquered all your carnal reasonings, and denyed your selves and your carnal interest; you must expect even from some religious friends, to be accused for these very actions, and perhaps their accusations may fasten such a blot upon your names, as shall never be washed out till the day of judgment. By difference of interests, or apprehensions, and b [...] unacquaintedness with your hearts, and actions, the righteousness of of the righteous may be thus taking from him, and friends may do the work of e­nemies, yea of Satan himself the accuser of the brethren; and may prove as thorns [Page 29] in your bed, and gravel in your shoes, yea in your eyes, and wrong you much more than open adversaries could have done. How is it like to go with that mans reputation, you may easily judge, whose friends are like Iobs, and his enemies like Davids, that lay snares before him, and diligently watch for matter of re­proach: yet this may befall the best of men.

13. You may be permitted by God to fall into some real crime, and then your friends may possibly think it is their duty to disown you, so far as you have wrong­ed God: When you provoke God to frown upon you, he may cause your friends to frown upon you: If you fall out with him, and grow strange to him, no marvel if your truest friends fall out with you, and grow strange to you. They love you for your godliness, and for the sake of Christ; and therefore must abate their love if you abate your godliness; and must for the sake of Christ be displeased with you for your sins. And if in such a case of real guilt, you should be displeased at their displeasure, and should expect that your friend should befriend your sin, or carry himself towards you in your guilt [Page 30] as if you were innocent, you will but shew that you understand not the nature of true friendship, nor the use of a true friend; and are yet your selves too friend­ly to your sins.

14. Moreover, those few friends that are truest to you, may be utterly unable to relieve you in your distress, or to give you ease, or do you any good. The case may be such that they can but pity you and lament your sorrows, and weep over you: you may see in them that man is not as God, whose friendship can ac­complish all the good that he desireth to his friends. The wisest and greatest and best of men are silly comforters, and un­effectual helps: you may be sick, and pained, and grieved, and distressed, not­withstanding any thing that they can do for you: Nay, perhaps in their ingno­rance, they may increase your misery, while they desire your relief; and by stri­ving indirectly to help and ease you, may tye the knot faster and make you worse. They may provoke those more against you that oppress you, while they think they speak that which would tend to set you free: They may think to ease your troubled minds by such words as shall in­crease [Page 31] the trouble: or to deliver you as Peter would have delivered Christ, and saved his Saviour, first by carnal counsel, Math. 16.22. [ Be it far from thee Lord, this shall not be unto thee] And then by carnal unjust force, (by drawing his sword against the Officers.) Love and good mean­ing will not prevent the mischiefs of igno­rance and mistake. If your friend cut your throat while he thought to cut but a vein to cure your disease, it is not his friendly meaning that will save your lives. Many a thousand sick people are killed by their friends, that attend them with an earnest desire of their life; while they ignorantly give them that which is con­trary to their disease, and will not be the [...]ess pernicious for the good meaning of the giver. Who have more tender af­fections than Mothers to their children? And yet a great part of the calamity of the World of sickness, and the misery of mans life, proceedeth from the ignorant and erroneous indulgence of Mothers to their Children, who to please them, let them eat and drink what they will, and use them to excess and gluttony in their childhood, till nature be abused and ma­ [...]tered and clogged with those superflui­ties [Page 32] and crudities, which are the dung­hill matter of most of the following dis­eases of their lives.

I might here also remember you how your friends may themselves be overcome with a temptation, and then become the more dangerous tempters of you, by how much the greater their interest is in your affections. If they be infected with er­ror, they are the likest persons to ensnare you: If they be tainted with Covetous­ness or Pride, there is none so likely to draw you to the same sin: And so your friends may be in effect your most deadly Enemies, deceivers and destroyers.

15. And if you have friends that are never so firm and constant, they may prove (not only unable to relieve you) but ve­ry increasing to your grief. If they are afflicted in the participation of your suf­ferings, as your troubles are become theirs (without your ease) so their trouble for you will become yours, and so your stock of sorrow will be encreased And they are mortals, and liable to distress as well as you. And therefore they are like to bear their share in several sorts of suf­ferings: And so friendship will make their sufferings to be yours: Their sicknesses [Page 33] and pains, their fears and griefs, their wants and dangers will all be yours. And the more they are your hearty Friends, the more they will be yours. And so you will have as many additions to the proper burden of your griefs, as you have suffering Friends: When you do but hear that they are dead, you say as Thomas, Joh. 11.16. [ Let us also go that we may die with him.] And having many such friends you will almost al­ways have one or other of them in di­stress; and so be seldom free from sor­row; besides all that which is properly your own.

16. Lastly, if you have a Friend that is both true and useful, yet you may be sure he must stay with you but a little while. The godly men will cease, and the faithful fail from among the Children of men; while men of lying flattering lips, and double hearts survive, and the wicked walk on every side while the vilest men are exalted, Psal. 12.1, 2, 8. while swarms of false malicious men, are left round a­bout you, perhaps God will take away your dearest Friends: If among a multi­tude of unfaithful ones, you have but one that is your friend indeed, perhaps [Page 34] God will take away that one. He may be separated from you into another Country; or taken away to God by Death. Not that God doth grudge you the mercy of a faithful Friend; but that he would be your All, and would not have you hurt your selves with too much affection to any Creature, and for other reasons to be named anon.

And to be forsaken of your Friends, is not all your affliction; but to be so for­saken is a great aggravation of it. 1. For they use to forsake us in our greatest suf­ferings and streights, when we have the greatest need of them.

2. They fail us most at a dying hour, when all other worldly comfort faileth: As we must leave our houses, lands and wealth, so must we for the present leave our Friends: And as all the rest are sil­ly comforters, when we have once recei­ved our citation to appear before the Lord, so also are our Friends but silly Comforters: They can weep over us, but they cannot with all their care, delay the separating stroak of death, one day or hour.

Only by their prayers, and holy advice, remembring us of everlasting things, and [Page 35] provoking us in the work of preparation, they may prove to us friends indeed. And therefore we must value a holy, hea­venly, faithful friend, as one of the great­est Treasures upon Earth. And while we take notice how as men they may forsake us, we must not deny but that as Saints they are precious, and of singular use to us; and Christ useth by them to communicate his mercies; and if any Creatures in the World may be blessings to us, it is holy persons, that have most of God in their hearts and lives.

3. And it is an aggravation of the Cross, that they often fail us, when we are most faithful in our Duty, and stumble most upon the most excellent acts of our obedience.

4. And those are the persons that oft­times fail us, of whom we have deserv­ed best, and from whom we might have expected most.

Review the experiences of the choi­cest Servants that Christ hath had in the World, and you shall find enough to confirm you of the vanity of man, and the instability of the dearest Friends. How highly was Athanasius esteemed? and yet at last deserted and banished even by [Page 36] the famous Constantine himself! How ex­cellent a Man was Gregory Nazianzene, and highly valued in the Church? and yet by reproach and discouragements driven away from his Church at Con­stantinople whither he was chosen: and envyed by the Bishops round about him. How worthy a man was the eloquent Chrysostom, and highly valued in the Church! And yet how bitterly was he prosecuted by Hierome and Epiphanius; and banished, and dyed in a second ba­nishment, by the provocation of Facti­ous contentious Bishops, and an Empress impatient of his plain reproofs? What person more generally esteemed and ho­noured for learning, piety and peaceable­ness then Melanchthon? and yet by the Contentions of Illyricus and his party, he was made aweary of his life. As highly as Calvin was (deservedly) valued at Geneva, yet once in a popular lunacy and displeasure, they drove him out of their City, and in contempt of him some called their Dogs by the name of Calvin; (though after they were glad to intreat him to return.) How much our Grindal and Abbot were esteemed, it appeareth by their advancement to the Archbishop­rick [Page 37] of Canterbury: And yet who know­eth not that their eminent piety sufficed not to keep them from dejecting frowns! And if you say, that it is no wonder if with Princes through interest, and with People through levity, it be thus; I might keep up instances of the like un­trustiness of particular Friends: But all History and the experiences of the most, do so much abound with them, that I think it needless. Which of us must not say with David that [ all men are lyars] Psal. 116. that is, deceitful and untrusty, either through unfaithfulness, weakness or insufficiency; that either will forsake us, or cannot help us in the time of need?

Was Christ forsaken in his extremity by his own Disciples, to teach us what to expect, or bear? Think it not strange then to be conformed to your Lord in this, as well as in other parts of his hu­miliation. Expect that Men should prove deceitful: Not that you should entertain censorious suspicions of your particular friends: But remember in general that Man is frail, and the best too selfish and uncertain; and that it is no wonder if those should prove your greatest grief, from whom you had the highest expecta­tions. [Page 38] Are you better then Iob, or Da­vid, or Christ? and are your Friends more firm and unchangeable then theirs?

Consider, 1. That Creatures must be set at a sufficient distance from their Creator. All-sufficiency, Immutability and indefectible fidelity, are proper to Jehovah. As it is no wonder for the Sun to set or be Eclipsed, as glorious a body as it is; so it is no wonder for a Friend, a pious Friend, to fail us, for a time, in the hour of our distress. There are some that will not: But there is none but may, if God should leave them to their weak­ness. Man is not your Rock: He hath no stability but what is derived, depen­dant, and uncertain, and defectible. Learn therefore to rest on God alone, and lean not too hard or confidently upon any mortal might.

2. And God will have the common in­firmity of man to be known, that so the weakest may not be utterly discouraged, nor take their weakness to be gracelesness, whilst they see that the strongest also have their infirmities, though not so great as theirs. If any of God's Servants lives in constant holiness and fidelity, without any shakings or stumbling in their way, it would tempt [Page 39] some self-accusing troubled Souls, to think that they were altogether graceless, be­cause they are so far short of others. But when we read of a Peters denying his Master in so horrid a manner, with swear­ing and cursing that he knew not the man, Mat. 26.74. And of his dissimulation and not walking uprightly, Gal. 2. and of a Davids unfriendly and unrighteous deal­ing with Mephibosheth, the seed of Io­nathan; and of his most vile and trea­cherous dealing with Vriah, a faithful and deserving Subject; it may both a­bate our wonder and offence at the un­faithfulness of our Friends, and teach us to compassionate their frailty, when they desert us; and also somewhat a­bate our immoderate dejectedness and trouble, when we have failed God or man our selves.

3. Moreover, consider, how the odi­ousness of that sin, which is the root and cause of such unfaithfulness, is greatly manifested by the failing of our Friends. God will have the odiousness of the Rem­nants of our Self-love and Carnal mind­edness, and Cowardize appear. We should not discern it in the Seed and Root, if we did not see, and taste it in the Fruits. [Page 40] Seeing without Tasting will not suffici­ently convince us. A Crab looks as beautiful as an Apple; but when you taste it, you better know the difference. When you must your selves be unkindly used by your Friends, and forsaken by them in your distress, and you have tasted the Fruits of the Remnants of their Worldliness, Selfishness and Carnal Fears, you will better know the odious­ness of these Vices, which thus break forth against all Obligations to God and you, and notwithstanding the Light, the Conscience, and perhaps the Grace, that doth resist them.

4. Are you not prone to overvalue and overlove your Friends? If so, is not this the meerest Remedy for your Disease? In the loving of God, we are in no danger of Excess; and therefore have no need of any thing to quench it. And in the loving of the Godly purely up­on the account of Christ, and in loving Saints as Saints, we are not apt to go too far. But yet our Understandings may mistake, and we may think that Saints have more of sanctity than indeed they have; and we are exceeding apt to mix a Selfish Common Love with that which [Page 41] is Spiritual and Holy; and at the same time, when we love a Christian as a Christian, we are apt not only to love him (as we ought) but to overlove him, because he is our Friend, and loveth us. Those Christians that have no special Love to us, we are apt to undervalue and neglect, and love them below their holiness and worth: But those that we think entirely love us, we love above their proper Worth, as they stand in the esteem of God: Not but that we may love those that love us, and add this love to that which is purely for the sake of Christ; but we should not let our own Interest prevail and overtop the Interest of Christ, nor love any so much for loving us, as for loving Christ: And if we do so, no wonder if God shall use such Reme­dies as he seeth meet, to abate our ex­cuse of Selfish Love.

O how highly are we apt to think of all that Good which is found in those who are the highest esteemers of us, and most dearly love us; when perhaps in it self it is but some ordinary Good, or ordinary Degree of Goodness which is in them! Their Love to us unresistibly procureth our Love to them: And [Page 42] when we love them, it is wonderful to observe, how easily we are brought to think well of almost all they do, and highly to value their Judgments, Graces, Parts and Works: When greater Ex­cellencies in another perhaps are scarce observed, or regarded but as a common thing: And therefore the destruction or want of Love, is apparent in the vilifying Thoughts and Speeches, that most Men have one of another; and in the low esteem of the Judgments, and Performan­ces, and Lives of other Men; (much more in their Contempt, Reproaches, and cruel Persecutions.) Now though God will have us encrease in our love of Christ in his Members, and in our pure love of Christians as such, and in our common Charity to all, yea, and in our just Fidelity to our Friend; yet would he have us suspect and moderate our selfish and excessive Love, and inordinate par­tial esteem of one above another, when it is but for our selves, and on our own account. And therefore as he will make us know, that we our selves are no such excellent Persons, as that it should make another so laudable, or advance his worth, because he loveth us; so he will make [Page 43] us know, that our Friends, whom we overvalue, are but like other Men: If we exalt them too highly in our esteem, it is a sign that God must cast them down. And as their Love to us was it that made us so exalt them; so their unkindness or unfaithfulness to us, is the fittest means to bring them lower in our estimation and affection. God is very jealous of our hearts, as to our overvaluing and overloving any of his Creatures. What we give inordinately and excessively to them, is some way or other taken from him, and given them to his Injury, and therefore to his offence. Though I know, that to be void of natural, friendly or social af­fections, is an odious extreme on the other side; yet God will rebuke us, if we are guilty of Excess. And it's the greater and more inexcusable fault to over-love the Creature, because our Love to God is so cold, and hardly kindled and kept alive. He cannot take it well to see us dote upon dust and frailty like our selves, at the same time when all his wondrous kindness, and attractive goodness, do cause but such a faint and languid Love to him, which [Page 44] we ourselves can scarcely feel. If there­fore he cures us by permitting our Friends to shew us what they are, and how little they deserve such excessive Love (when God hath so little) it is no more wonder, than it is, that he is tender of his Glory, and merciful to his Servants Souls.

5 By the failing and unfaithfulness of our Friends, the wonderful Patience of God will be observed and honoured, as it is shewed both to them and us. When they forsake us in our distress, (especially when we suffer for the Cause of Christ) it is God that they injure more than us: And therefore if he bear with them, and forgive their Weakness upon Re­pentance, why should not we do so, that are much less injured? The worlds perfideousness should make us think, How great and wonderful is the pati­ence of God, that beareth with, and beareth up so vile, ungrateful, treacher­ous Men that abuse him, to whom they are infinitely obliged? And it should make us consider, when Men deal trea­cherously with us, How great is that mercy that hath born with, and par­doned greater wrongs, which I my self have done to God, than these can be [Page 45] which men have done to me! It was the remembrance of David's Sin, that had provoked God to raise up his own Son against him (of whom he had been too fond) which made him so easily bear the Curses and Reproach of Shimei. It will make us bear abuse from others, to remember how ill we have dealt with God, and how ill we have deser­ved at his hands our selves.

6. And I have observed another of the Reasons of God's permitting the failing of our Friends, in the season and success. It is, that the Love of our Friends may not hinder us when we are called to suffer or die. When we over­love them, it teareth our very hearts to leave them: And therefore it is a strong temptation to draw us from our Duty, and to be unfaithful to the cause of Christ, lest we should be taken from our too-dear Friends, or lest our suf­fering cause their too-much Grief. It is so hard a thing to die with willing­ness and peace, that it must needs be a mercy to be saved from the Impedi­ments which make us backward: And the excessive Love of Friends and Rela­tions, is not the least of these Impedi­ments. [Page 46] O how loth is many a one to die, when they think of parting with Wife, or Husband or Children, or dear and faithful Friends! Now I have often observed, that a little before their death or sickness, it is ordinary with God to permit some unkindness between such too dear friends to arise, by which he moderated and abated their affections, and made them a great deal the willinger to dye. Then we are ready to say, it is time for me to leave the World, when not only the rest of the World, but my dearest Friends have first forsaken me! This helpeth us to remember our dearest everlasting Friend, and to be grieved at the heart that we have been no truer our selves to him, who would not have forsaken us in our extremity. And some­times it makes us ev'n weary of the world, and to say as Elias, Lord take away my Life, &c. 1 King 19.4.10, 14. When we must say, I thought I had one friend left, and behold even he forsaketh me in my distress.] As the love of Friends in­tangleth our affections to this World, so to be weaned by their unkindnesses from our Friends, is a great help to loosen us from the World, and proveth oft a very great [Page 47] mercy to a Soul that is ready to depart.

And as the friends that Love us most, and have most interest in your esteem and Love, may do more than others, in temp­ting us to be unfaithful to our Lord, to to entertain any errour, to commit any sin, or to flinch in suffering; so when God had permitted them to forsake us, and to lose their too great interest in us, we are fortified against all temptations from them. I have known where a for­mer intimate friend hath grown strange, and broken former friendship, and quick­ly after turned to such dangerous ways and errours, as convinced the other of the mercifulness of God, in weakning his temptation by his friends desertion; who might else have drawn him along with him into sin. And I have often observed, that when the husbands have turned from Religion to Infidelity, Familism, or some dangerous heresie, that God hath permitted them to hate and abuse their wives so inhumanly, as that it preser­veth the poor women from the tempta­tion of following them in their Apostasie or sin: When as some other women with whom their husbands have dealt more kindly, have been drawn away with them into pernicious paths.

[Page 48]Therefore still I must say, we were undone if we had the disposing of our own conditions. It would belong before we should have been willing our selves to be thus unkindly dealt with by our friends: And yet God hath made it to many a soul, a notable me [...]s of preser­ving them from being undone for ever. Yea the unfaithfulness of all our friends, and the malice and cruelty of all our ene­mies, doth us not usually so much harm, as the love and temptation of some one de­luded [...]ring friend, whom we are ready to follow into the gulf.

7. Lastly, consider that it is not desi­rable or suitable to our state, to have too much of our comfort by any creature: Not only because it is most pure and sweet which is most immediately from God; but also because we are very prone to over-love the Creature; and if it should but seem to be very commodious to us, by serving our necessities or desires, it would seem the more amiable, and therefore be the stronger snare: The work of morti­fication doth much consist in the annihi­lation or deadness of all the Creatures as to any power to draw away our hearts from God, or to entangle us and detain [Page 49] us from our duty. And the more excel­lent and lovely the Creature appeareth [...]o us, the less it is dead to us, or we to it; and the more will it be able to hinder or ensnare us.

When you have well considered all these things, I suppose you will admire the wisdom of God in leaving you un­der this kind of tryal, and weaning you from every creature, and teaching you by his Providence as well as by his word, to Cease from man, whose breath is in his nostrils; for wherein is he to be accounted of?] And you will see that it's no great wonder that corrupted souls, that live in other sins, should be guilty of this un­faithfulness to their friends: And that he that dare unthankfully trample upon the unspeakable kindness of the Lord should deal unkindly with the best of men. You make no great wonder at other kind of sins, when you see the world continually commit them; why then should you make a greater or a stranger matter of this than of the rest? Are you better than God? Must unfaithfulness to you be made more hainous, than that unfaithfulness to him, which yet you daily see and slight? The least wrong to God is a thousand fold more [Page 50] than the greatest that can be done to you, as such. Have you done that for your nearest friend, which God hath done for him and you, and all men? Their obligations to you are nothing in comparison of their great and manifold obligations to God.

And you know that you have more wronged God, your selves, than any man ever wronged you: And if yet for all that he bear with you, have you not great reasons to bear with others?

Yea, you have not been innocent to­wards men your selves: Did you never wrong or fail another? Or rather, are you not apter to see and aggravate the wrong that others do to you, than that which you have done to others? May you not call to mind your own neglects, and say, as Adonizebeck, Judg. 1.7. [ Threescore and ten Kings having their thumbs and their great toes cut off, gathered their meat under my table: As I have done, so God hath requited me.] Many a one have I failed or wronged: and no won­der if others fail and wrong me.]

Nay you have been much more unfaith­ful and injurious to your selves, than ever any other hath been to you. No friend [Page 51] was so near you, as your selves: None had such a charge of you: None had such helps and advantages to do you good or hurt: And yet all the Enemies you have in the world, even in Earth or Hell, have not wronged and hurt you half so much as you have done your selves. O, methinks the man or woman that know­eth themselves, and knoweth what it is to Repent; that ever saw the greatness of their sin and folly, should have no great mind or leisure, or aggravate the failings of their friends, to the injuries of their enemies, considering what they have pro­ved to themselves! Have I forfeited my own salvation, and deserved everlasting wrath, and sold my Saviour and my Soul for so base a thing as sinful pleasure, and shall I ever make a wonder of it, that another man doth me some temporal hurt? Was any friend so near to me as my self? Or more obliged to me? O sinful soul, let thy own, rather then thy friends deceit and treachery, and neglects, be the matter of thy displeasure, wonder and com­plaints!

And let thy Confirmity herein to Jesus Christ, be thy holy ambition and delight: Not as it is thy suffering, nor as it is cau­sed [Page 52] by mens sin: but as it is thy Confirmity and fellowship in the sufferings of thy Lord, and caused by his Love.

I have already shewed you that suffer­ers for Christ, are in the highest form a­mong his Disciples. The Order of his followers usually is this; 1. At our en­trance, and in the lowest form, we are exercised with the fears of Hell, and Gods displeasure, and in the Works of Repentance for the sin that we have done. 2. In the second form, we come to think more seriously of the Remedy, and to enquire what we shall do to be saved, and to understand better what Christ hath done and suffered, and what he is and will be to us; and to value him and his love and grace. And here we are much enquiring how we may know our own sincerity, and our interest in Christ, and are labouring for some as­surance, and looking after signs of Grace. 3. In the next form or order we are searching after further Knowledge, and labouring better to under­stand the mysteries of Religion, and to get above the Rudiments and first Prin­ciples: And here if we escape turning bare Opinionists or Hereticks by the [Page 53] snare of Controversie or Curiosity, it's well. 4. In the next form we set our selves to the fuller improvement of all our further degrees of Knowledge; and to digest it all, and turn it into stronger Faith, and Love, and Hope, and greater Humility, Patience, Self-denial, Morti­fication, and contempt of Earthly Vani­ties, and hatred of Sin; and to walk more watchfully and holily, and to be more in holy Duty. 5. In the next form we grow to be more publick-spirited: To set our Hearts on the Churches welfare, and long more for the progress of the Gospel, and for the good of others: and to do all the good [...] the World that we are able, for mens Souls or Bodies, but especially to long and lay out our selves for the Con­version, and Salvation of ignorant, se­cure, unconverted Souls. The coun­terfeit of this, is, An eager desire to Proselyte others to our Opinions or that Religion which we have chosen, by the direction of Flesh and Blood, or which is not of God, nor according un­to Godliness, but doth subserve our car­nal Ends. 6. In the next form we grow to study more the pure and wonderful [Page 54] Love of God in Christ, and to relish and admire that Love, and to be taken up with the goodness and tender mer­cies of the Lord, and to be kindling the Flames of holy Love to him that hath thus loved us; and to keep our Souls in the Exercise of that Love: And with­al to live in Joy, and Thanks, and Praise to him that hath redeemed us and loved us. And also, by Faith to converse in Heaven, and to live in holy contempla­tion, beholding the Glory of the Father and the Redeemer in the Glass, which is fitted to our present use, till we come to see him face to face. Those that are the highest in this form, do so walk with God, and burn in Love, and [...] so much above inferiour Vanities, and are so conversant by Faith in Heaven, that their hearts even dwell there, and there they long to be forever. 7. And in the highest form in the School of Christ, we are exercising this confirmed Faith and Love, in Sufferings, especially for Christ. In following him with our Cross, and being conformed to him, and glorifying God in the fullest exercise and discovery of his Graces in us, and in an actual trampling upon all that [Page 55] standeth up against him, for our hearts; and in bearing the fullest witness to his Truth and Cause, by constant enduring, though to the Death. Not but that the weakest that are sincere, must suffer for Christ, if he call them to it. Martyr­dom it self is not proper to the strong Believers: Whoever forsaketh not all that he hath for Christ, cannot be his Disciple, Luke 14.33. But to suffer with that Faith and Love foremention­ed, and in that manner, is proper to the strong: And usually God doth not try and exercise his young and weak ones with the tryals of the strong; nor set his Infants on so hard a service, nor put them in the front or hottest of the Battel, as he doth the ripe confirmed Christians. The sufferings of their in­ward Doubts and Fears doth take up such. It is the strong that ordinarily are called to Sufferings for Christ, at least in any high Degree; I have digrest thus far to make it plain to you, that our Conformity to Christ, and fellowship with him in his Sufferings, in any nota­ble degree, is the lot of his best confirmed Servants, and the highest form in his School, among his Disciples: And [Page 56] therefore not to be inordinately feared or abhorred, nor to be the matter of impatiency, but of holy joy; and in such infirmities we may glory. And if it be so of Sufferings in the general (for Christ) then is it so of this particular sort of Suffering, even to be forsaken of all our best and nearest, dearest Friends, when we come to be most abused by the Enemies.

For my own part, I must confess that as I am much wanting in other parts of my conformity to Christ, so I take my self to be yet much short of what I expect he should advance me to, as long as my Friends no more forsake me▪ It is not long since I found my self in a low (if not a doubting) case, because I had so few Enemies and so little Suf­ferings for the Cause of Christ (though I had much of other sorts:) And now that doubt is removed by the multitude of Furies which God hath let loose a­gainst me. But yet, methinks, while my Friends themselves are so friendly to me, I am much short of what I think I must at last attain to.

[Page 57]BUT let us look further in the Text, and see what is the Cause of the failing and forsaking Christ in the Disciples; and what it is that they be­take themselves to, when they leave him.

[ Ye shall be scattered every Man to his Own.]

Self-Denyal was not perfect in them, selfishness therefore in this hour of temptation did prevail. They had be­fore forsaken all to follow Christ; they had left their Parents, their Families, their Estates, their Trades, to be his Disciples: But though they believed him to be the Christ, yet they dreamt of a visible Kingdom, and did all this with too carnal Expectations of being great men on Earth, when Christ should begin his Reign. And therefore when they saw his apprehension and igno­minious suffering, and thought now they were frustrate of their hopes, they seem to repent that they had followed him (though not by Apostacy and an habi­tual or plenary change of mind [...] yet) by a sudden passionate, frightful appre­hension, which vanished when grace per­formed [Page 58] its part. They now began to think, that they had lives of their Own to save, and families of their Own to mind, and business of their Own to do. They had before forsaken their private Interests and Affairs, and gathered them­selves to Jesus Christ, and lived in Com­munion with him, and one another. But now they return to their Trades and Callings, and are scattered every Man to his own.

Selfishness is the great Enemy of all Societies, of all Fidelity and Friendship. There is no trusting that person in whom it is predominant. And the Remnants of it where it doth not Reign, do make men walk unevenly and unstedfastly towards God and men. They will cer­tainly deny both God and their Friends, in a time of tryal who are not able to deny themselves: Or rather, he never was a real Friend to any, that is pre­dominantly selfish. They have alway some interest of their Own, which their Friend must needs contradict, or is in­sufficient to satisfie. Their Houses, their Lands, their Moneys, their Chil­dren, their Honour, or something which they call their Own, will be frequently [Page 59] the matter of contention; and are so near them, that they can for the sake of these cast off the nearest Friend. Contract no special friendship with a selfish man: Nor put no confidence in him, whatever Friendship he may profess. He is so confined to himself, that he hath no true love to spare for others: If he seem to love a Friend, it is not as a Friend, but as a Servant, or at best as a Benefactor: He loveth you for himself, as he loveth his Mony, or Horse, or House, because you may be serviceable to him: Or as a Horse or Dog doth love his Keeper, for feeding him. And therefore when your Provender is gone, his Love is gone; when you have done feeding him, he hath done loving you. When you have no more for him, he hath no more for you.

Object. But (some will say) it is not the falseness of my Friend that I lament, but the separation, or the loss of one that was most faithful: I have found the de­ceitfulness of ordinary Friends; and there­fore the more highly pri [...]e those few that are sincere. I had but one true friend among abundance of self-seekers; and that [Page 60] one is dead, or taken from me, and I am l [...]ft as in a Wilderness, having no mortal man that I can trust or take much com­fort in.

Answ. Is this your case? I pray you answer these few Questions, and suffer the truth to have its proper work up­on your mind.

Quest. 1. Who was it that deprived you of your Friend? Was it not God? Did not he that gave him you take him from you? Was it not his Lord and Owner that call'd him home? And can God do any thing injuriously or amiss? will you not give him leave to do as he list with his own? Dare you think that there was wanting either Wisdom or Goodness, Iustice or Mercy in God's dis­posal of your Friend? Or will you ever have Rest, if you cannot have Rest in the Will of God?

2. How know you what sin your Friend might have fallen into, if he had lived as long as you would have him? You'll say, that God could have preserved him from sin. It's true: But God preser­veth sapientially, by means, as well as omnipotentially: And sometime he seeth that the temptations to that person are [Page 61] like to be so strong, and his Corruption like to get such advantage, and that no means is so fit as Death it self, for his preservation. And if God had permit­ted your Friend by temptation to have fallen into some scandalous sin, or course of evil, or into errors, or false ways, would it not have been much worse than Death to him and you? God might have suffered your Friend that was so faithful, to have been sifted and shaken as Peter was, and to have denied his Lord; and to have seemed in your own Eyes, as odious as he before seemed amiable.

3. How know you what unkindness to your self, your dearest friend might have been guilty of? Alas! there is greater frailty and inconstancy in man, than you are aware of. And there are sadder roots of Corruption unmortified, that may spring up into bitter Fruits, than most of us ever discover in our selves. Many a Mother hath her heart broken by the unnaturalness of such a Child, or the unkindness of such a Husband, as if they had died before, would have been lamented by her, with great im­patience and excess. How confident [Page 62] soever you may be of the future Fide­lity of your Friend, you little know what tryal might have discovered. Many a one hath failed God and Man that once were as confident of themselves, as ever you were of your Friend. And which of us see not reason to be dis­trustful of our selves? And can we know another better than our selves? or pro­mise more concerning him?

4. How know you what great calamity might have befallen your Friend, if he had lived as long as you desired? When the Righteous seem to men to perish, and mer­ciful Men are taken away, it is from the evil to come that they are taken, Isa. 57.1. How many of my Friends have I la­mented as if they had dyed unseasonably, concerning whom some following Provi­dence quickly shewed me, that it would have been a grievous misery to them to have lived longer! Little know you what Calamities were imminent on his Person, his Family, Kindred, Neighbours, Coun­try, that would have broke his Heart: What if a Friend of yours had died im­mediately before some calamitous subver­sion of a Kingdom, some ruines of the Church, &c. And if ignorantly he had [Page 63] done that which brought these things to pass, can you imagin how lamentably sad his life would have been to him, to have seen the Church, the Gospel, and his Country in so sad a case? especially if it had been long of him? Many that have unawares done that which hath ruined but a particular Friend, have lived in so much grief and trouble, as made them consent that death should both revenge the injured on them, and conclude their misery. What then would it have been to have seen the publick good subverted, and the faithful overwhelmed in misery, and the Gospel hindred, and holy wor­ship changed for deceit and vanity; and for Conscience to have been daily say­ing, [I had a hand in all this misery: I kindled the fire that hath burned up all.]

What comfort can you think such Friends if they had survived, would have [...]ound on Earth? Unless it were a com­fort to hear the Complaints of the afflict­ed, to see and hear such odious sins as sometimes vexed righteous L [...]t to see and hear; or to hear of the scandals of one Friend, and the Apostasie of another, and the sinful compliances and declinings of a third; and to be under temptations, re­proaches; [Page 64] and afflictions themselves? Is it a matter to be so much lamented that God hath prevented their greater mise­ries and wo?

5. What was the World to your Friends while they did enjoy it? Or what is it now, or like to be hereafter to your selves? Was it so good and kind to them, as that you should lament their separation from it? Was it not to them a place of toil and trouble, of envy and vexation, of enmity and poison? of successive cares and fears and griefs? And worst of all, a place of sin? Did they groan under the burden of a sinful nature, a distempered, tempte [...], troubled heart of languishings and weakness of every grace; of the re­bukes of God, the wounds of Conscience, and the malice of a wicked VVorld? And would you have them under these again? Or is their deliverance become your grief? Did you not often joyn in prayer with them, for deliverance from Malice, Ca­lamities, troubles, imperfections, temp­tations and Sin? And now those Prayers are answered in their deliverance: And do you now grieve at that which then you prayed for?

Doth the VVorld use your selves so well [Page 65] and kindly, as that you should be sorry that your Friends partake not of the Feast? Are you not groaning from day to day your selves? And are you grieved that your Friends are taken from your griefs? you are not well pleased with your own condition: VVhen you look into your hearts, you are displeased and complain; when you look into your lives, you are displeased and complain: When you look into your Families, into your Neighbour­hoods, unto your Friends, unto the Church, unto the Kingdom, unto the World, you are displeased and complain: And are you also displeased that your Friends are not under the same displeasedness and complaints as you? Is the World a place of Rest or trouble to you? And would you have your Friends to be as far from Rest as you?

And if you have some Ease and Peace at present, you little know what storms are near! You may see the days, you may hear the tydings, you may feel the gri­ping griefs and pains, which may make you call for Death your selves, and make you say that a life on Earth is no feli­city, and make you confess that they are Bl [...]ssed that are dead in the Lord, as rest­ing [Page 66] from their Labours, and being past these troubles, griefs and fears. Many a poor troubled Soul is in so great distress, as that they t [...]ke their own lives to have some taste of Hell: And yet at the same time, are grieving because their friends are [...]aken from them, who would have been grieved for their griefs, and for ought they know might have fallen in­to as sad a st [...]te as they themselves are now l [...]menting.

6. Do you think it is for the Hurt or the go [...]d of your Friend, that he is remo­ved hence? It cannot be for his Hurt unless he be in Hell. (At least, it is un­certain whether to live would have been for his Good, by an increase of Grace, and so for greater Glory▪) And if he be in Hell, he was no fit person for you to take much pleasure in upon Earth: He might be indeed a fit Object for your Compassion, but not for your Complacency. Sure you are not undone for want of such company as God will not endure in his sight, and you must be separated from for ever. But if they be in Heaven, you are scarce their Friends if you would wish them th [...]nce. Friendship hath as great re­spect to the good of our Friends as of our [Page 67] selves. And do you pretend to Friendship, and yet lament the removal of your friend to his greatest happiness! Do you set more by your own enjoying his compa­ny, then by enjoying God in perfect blessedness? This sheweth a very cul­pable defect either in Faith or Friendship; and therefore beseemeth not Christians and Friends. If Love teacheth us to mourn with them that mourn, and to re­joyce with them that rejoyce; can it be an act of rational Love to mourn for them that are possessed of the highest ever­lasting joyes?

7. God will not honour himself by one on­ly, but by many: He knoweth best when his work is done: When our Friends have finished all that God intended them for, when he put them into the World, is it not time for them to be gone, and for others to take their places, and finish their Work also in their time? God will have a succession of his Servants in the World. Would you not come down, and give place to him that is to follow you, when your part is played, and his is to begin? If David had n [...]t dyed, there had been no Solomon, no I [...]hoshaphat, no He­zekiah, no Iosiah, to succeed him and ho­nour [Page 68] God in the same Throne. You may as wisely grudge that one day only takes not up all the Week, and that the clock str [...]keth not the same hour still, but pro­ceedeth from one to two, from two to three, &c. as to murmur that one man only continueth not to do the work of his place excl [...]ding his Successors.

8. You must [...] have all your Mercies by one Messenger or Hand: God will not have you confine your Love to one only of his Servants: And therefore he will not make one only useful to you: But when one hath delivered his Message and done his part, perhaps God will send you other Mercies by another hand: And it belongeth to him to choose the Messen­ger who gives the gift. And if you will Childishly dote upon the first Messenger, and say you will have no more, your fro­wardness more deserveth Correction than Compassion: And if you be kept fasting till you can thankfully take your Food, from any hand that your Father sends it by, it is a Correction very suitable to your sin.

9. Do you so highly value your Friends for God, or for them, or for your selves, in the final consideration? If it was for God, [Page 69] what reason of trouble have you, that God hath disposed of them, according to his wisdom and unerring Will? should you not then be more pleased that God hath them, and employeth them in his high­est service, than displeased that you want them?

But if you value them and love them for themselves, they are now more lovely when they are more perfect; and they are now fitter for your content and joy, when they have themselves unchangeable content and joy, than they could be in their sin and sorrows.

But if you valued and loved them but for your selves only, it is just with God to take them from you, to teach you to value Men to righter ends, and upon bet­ter considerations: And both to prefer God before your selves, and better to understand the nature of true Friendship, and better to know that your own felici­ty is not in the hands of any Creature, but of God alone.

10. Did you improve your Friends while you had them? or did you only love them, while you made but little use of them for your Souls? If you used them not, it was just with God for all your [Page 70] Love to take them from you. They were given you as your Candle, not only to Love it, but to work by the Light of it: And as your Garments; not only to Love them, but to wear them; and as your meat, not only to Love it, but to feed upon it. Did you receive their Counsel, and hear­ken to their Reproofs, and pray with them, and confer with them upon those holy Truths that tended to elevate your minds to God, and to inflame your Breasts with sacred Love? If not, be it now known to you, that God gave you not such helps and mercies only to talk of, or look upon, and Love, but also to im­prove for the benefit of your Souls.

11. Do you not seem to forget both where you are your selves, and where you must shortly and for ever live? Where would you have your Friends, but where you must be your sel [...]es? Do you mourn that they are taken hence? Why, if they had staid here a thousand years, how little of that time should you have had their Company? When you are almost leaving the World your selves, would you not send your treasure before you to the place where you must abide? How quick­ly will you pass from hence to God, [Page 71] where you shall find your Friends that you lamented as if they had been lost, and there shall dwell with them for ever! O foolish Mourners! would you not have your Friends at home! at their home and your home, with their Father, and your Father; their God, and your God? Shall you not there enjoy them long e­nough! Can you so much miss them for one day, that must live with them to all Eternity? And is not Eternity long e­nough for you to enjoy your Friends in?

Obj. But I do not know whether ever I shall there have any distinct knowledge of them, or love to them, and whether God shall not there be so far All in All, as th [...]t we shall need or fetch no comfort from the Creature.

Answ. There is no reason for either of these doubts. For, 1. You cannot justly think that the knowledge of the Glori­fied shall be more confused or imperfect than the knowledge of natural Men on Earth. We shall know much more, but not so much less. Heaven exceedeth Earth in knowledge, as much as it doth in joy.

2. The Angels in Heaven have now a distinct particular knowledge of the least Believers; rejoycing particularly in their [Page 72] conversion, and being called by Christ himself [ Their Angels.] Therefore when we shall be equal to the Angels, we shall certainly know our nearest Friends that there dwell with us, and are employed in the same attendance.

3. Abraham knew the Rich Man in Hell, and the Man knew Abraham and Lazarus: Therefore we shall have as di­stinct a Knowledge.

4. The two Disciples knew Moses and Elias in the Mount, whom they had ne­ver seen before: Though it is possible Christ told them who they were, yet there is no such thing expressed: And therefore it is as probable that they knew them by the Communication of their ir­radiating glory. Much more shall we be then illuminated to a clearer knowledge.

5. It is said expresly, 1 Cor. 13.10, 11, 12. That our present knowledge shall be done away only in regard of its imper­fection; and not of it self, which shall be perfected: [ when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away:] As we put away childish thoughts and speeches, when we become men: The change will be from [ seeing in a glass] to [ seeing face to face] and [Page 73] from [ knowing in part] to [ knowing even as we are known.]

2. And that we shall both Know, and Love and rejoyce in creatures even in Hea­ven, notwithstanding that God is all in all, apeareth further thus.

1. Christ in his glorified humanity is a Creature: and yet there is no doubt but all his members will there Know and Love him in his glorified humanity, with­out any derogation from the glory of the Deity.

2. The Body of Christ will continue its unity, and every member will be so nearly related, even in Heaven, that they cannot choose but Know and Love each other. Shall we be ignorant of the mem­bers of our Body? and not be concerned in their felicity, with whom we are so nearly one?

3. The state and felicity of the Church hereafter, is frequently described in Scripture as consistent in Society. It is a Kingdom, the City of God, the Heavenly Ierusalem: and it is mentioned as part of our happiness to be of that society, Heb. 12.22, 23, 24, &c.

4. The Saints are called Kings them­selves: and it is said that they shall judge [Page 74] the world, and the Angels (And Judging in Scripture is frequently put for Gover­ning) Therefore, (whether there will be another world of mortals which they shall Govern as Angles now Govern men; or whether the Misery of damned men and Angels will partly consist in as base a sub­jection to the glorified Saints, as Dogs now have to men, or wicked reprobates on Earth to Angles; or whether in respect of both these together, the Saints shall then be Kings, and Rule and Judge; or whe­ther it be only the participation of the Glory of Christ, that is called a Kingdom, I will not here determine, but) it is most clear that they will have a distinct parti­cular Knowledge of the world, which they themselves must judge; and some concern­ment in that work.

5. It is put into the description of the Happiness of the Saints, that they shall come from the East, and from the West, and shall sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, in the Kingdom of God. Therefore they shall know them, and take some comfort in their presence.

6. Love (even to the Saints as well as unto God) is one of the graces that shall endure for ever, 1 Cor. 13. It is ex­ercised [Page 75] upon an Immortal object (the Image, and Children of the Most High) and therefore must be one of the Immortal Graces. For Grace in the Nature of it dyeth not: and therefore if the Object cease not, how should the Grace cease, unless you will call it's perfecting a cea­sing?

It is a state too high for such as we, and I think for any meer Creature to live so Immediately and only upon God, as to have no use for any fellow Creature, nor no comfort in them. God can make use of Glorified Creatures, in such sub­serviency and subordination to himself, as shall be no diminution to his All-suffi­ciency or Honour, nor to our glory and felicity. We must take heed of fancying even such a Heaven it self, as is above the capacity of a Creature; as some very wise Divines think they have [...]one, that tell us we shall Immediately see Gods Essence (his Glory being that which is provided for our intuition and felicity, and is di­stinct from his Essence; being not every where as his Essence is) And as those do that tell us because that God will be All in All, therefore we shall there have none of our comfort by any Creature. Though [Page 76] flesh and blood shall not enter into that King­dom, but our Bodies will then be Spiri­tual Bodies; yet will they be really the same as now, and distinct from our Souls: and therefore must have a felicity suitable to a Body glorified: And if the soul did immediately see God's Essence, yet as no reason can conclude that it can see nothing else, or that it can see even Created Good, and not Love it, so the Body however must have objects and felicity fit for a Body.

Obj. But it is said, If we knew Christ after the flesh, henceforth know we him no more.

Answ. No doubt but all the carnality in Principles, matter, manner and ends of our knowledge will then cease as it's im­perfection: But that a carnal knowledge be turned into a spiritual, is no more a diminution to it, than it is to the glory of our Bodies, to be made like the stars in the Firmament of our Father.

Obj. But then I shall have no more com­fort in my present friends than in any o­ther.

Answ. 1. If you had none in them, it is no diminution to our happiness, if in­deed we should have all in God immedi­ately [Page 77] and alone. 2. But if you have as much in others that you never knew be­fore, that will not diminish any of your comfort in your antient Friends. 3. But it is most probable to us, that as there is a twofold Object for our love in the Glorified Saints; one is their Holiness, and the other is the Relation which they stood in between God and us, be­ing made▪ his instruments for our con­version and salvation, so that we shall love Saints in Heaven in both respects: And in the first respect (which is the chiefest) we shall love those most that have most of God, and the greatest Glory (though such as we never knew on Earth.) And in the second respect, we shall love those most that were employ­ed by God for our greatest good.

And that we shall not there lay by so much respect to our selves, as to forget or disregard our Benefactors, is manifest, 1. In that we shall forever remember Christ, and love him, and praise him, as one that formerly Redeemed us, and wash­ed us in his Blood, and hath made us Kings and Priests to God: And there­fore we may also in just subordination to Christ, remember them with Love and [Page 78] Thankfulness, that were his Inst [...]uments for the Collation of these benefits.

2. And this kind of Self-love (to be sensible of Good and Evil to our selves) is none of the sinful or imperfect selfish­ness to be renounced or laid by, but part of our very Natures, and as insepara­ble from us, as we are from our selves.

Much more, were it not digress [...]ve, might be said on this subject; but I shall only add, that as God doth draw us to every holy Duty, by shewing us the excellency of that duty; and as perpe­tu [...]ty is not the smallest excellency; so he hath purposely mentioned that Love en­dureth for ever (when he had described the Love of one another) as a principle motive to kindle and encrease this Love. And therefore those that think they shall have no personal Knowledge of one ano­ther, nor personal Love to one another (for we cannot Love person [...]lly, if we know not personally) do take a most effec­tual course to destroy in their souls all ho­ly special Love to Saints, by casting away that principal or very great motive given them by the Holy Ghost, I a [...] not [...]ble to Love mu [...]h where I f [...]eknow that I shall not Love long. I cannot Love a [Page 79] comely Inn, so well as a nearer dwelling of my own, because I must be gone to mor­row Therefore must I love my Bible better than my Lawbooks or Physickbooks, &c. Because it leadeth to Eternity. And therefore I must Love Holiness in my self and others, better than meat and drink, and wealth, and honour, and beau­ty and pleasure; because it must be Loved for ever, when the Love of these must needs be transitory, as they are tran­sitory. I must profess from the very ex­perience of my soul, that it is the belief that I shall Love my friends in Heaven, that principally kindleth my Love to them on Earth: And if I thought I should never know them after death, and conse­quently never love them more, when this life is ended, I should in reason number them with temporal things, and Love them comparatively but a little; even as I Love other transitory things (allowing for the excellency in the nature of Grace) But now I converse with some delight with my Godly friends, as believing I shall converse with them for ever, and take comfort in the very Dead and Ab­sent, as believing we shall shortly meet in Heaven: And I Love them, I hope, with [Page 80] a Love that is of a Heavenly Nature, while I Love them as the Heirs of Heaven, with a Love which I expect shall there be perfected, and more fully and for ever ex­ercised,

12. The last Reason that I give you, to move you to bear the Loss or Absence of your friends, is, that it gives you the loudest call to retire from the world, and to converse with God himself, and to long for Heaven, where you shall be sepera­ted from your friends no more. And your forsaken state will somewhat assist you to that solitary converse with God, which it calls you to: But this brings us up to the third part of the Text.

AND yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me.]

Doct. When all forsake us and leave us (as to them) alone, we are far from being simply alone; because God is with us.

He is not without company, that is with the King▪ though twenty others have turned him off. He is not without Light that hath the shining Sun, though all his Candles be put out. If God be our God, he is our All, and is enough for [Page 81] us: And if he be our All, we shall not much find the want of creatures while he is with us.

For 1. He is with us, who is Every­where, and therefore is never from us; and knoweth all the ways and projects of our enemies; being with them in wrath, as he is with us in mercy.

2. He is with us who is Almighty, suf­ficient to preserve us, conquerable by none? and therefore while he is with us, we need not fear what man can do unto us: For they can do nothing but what he will: No danger, no sickness, no trouble or want can be so great as to make it any difficulty to God to deliver us when and how he please.

3. He is with us who is Infinitely wise, and therefore we need not fear the subtil­ty of enemies; nor shall any of his un­dertaken works for his Church or us, mis­carry for want of foresight, or through any oversight. We shall be preserved even from our own Folly, as well as from our Enemies subtilty: For it is not our own wisdome that our greatest concern­ments do principally rest upon, nor that our safety and peace are chiefly secured by; but it is the Wisdome of our great [Page 82] Preserver. He knoweth what to do with us, and what Paths to lead us in, and what is best for us in all conditions: And he hath promised to Teach us, and will be our sure infallible Guide.

4. He is with us who is Infinitely Good, and therefore is only fit to be a continual delight and satisfaction to our souls: That hath nothing in him to disaffect us, or discourage us: whom we may love with­out fear of over-loving; and need not set any bounds to our Love, the Object of it being infinite.

5. He is with us, who is most nearly related to us, and most dearly loveth us; and therefore will never be wanting to us in any thing that is fit for us to have. This is he that is with us, when all have left us, and as to Man we are alone; and therefore we may well say that we are not alone. Of this I shall say more anon in the appli­cation.

Quest. But how is he with us? Answ. 1. He is with us not only in his Essential presence, as he is every where, but as by his Gracious Fatherly presence: We are in his Family, attending on him: Even as the Eye of a Servant is to the hand of his Master: We are always with him, and [Page 83] (as he phraseth it himself in the Parable) Luke 15. all that he hath in ours, that is, all that is fit to be communicated to us, and all the Provisions of his bounty for his Children. When we awake, we should be still with him: When we go abroad we should be always as before him: Our life and works should be a Walking with God.

2. He is always with us efficiently to do us good; Though we have none else that careth for us, yet will he never cast us out of his care, but biddeth us cast our care on him, as promising that he will care for us. Though we have none else to provide for us, he is always with us, and our Fa­ther knoweth what we want, and will make the best provision for us, Mat. 6.32, 33. Though we have none else to defend us against the power of our Enemies, he is always with us to be our sure defence: He is the Rock to which we fly, and up­on which we are surely built. He gather­eth us to himself as the Hen gathereth her Chickens under her Wings, Mat. 2.37, 3. And sure while Love is thus protecting us, we may well say that the Father himself is with us. Though in all our wants we have no other to supply us, yet he is still with us to perform his promise, that no [Page 84] good thing shall be wanting to them that fear him. Though we may have none else to strengthen and help us, and support us in our weakness, yet he is always with us, whose Grace is sufficient for us, to manifest his strength in weakness. Though we have no other to teach us, and to re­solve our doubts, yet he is with us that is our chiefest Master, and hath taken us to be his Disciples, and will be our Light and Guide, and will lead us into the Truth. Though we have none else to be our Comforters, in our agony, darkness or di­stress; but all forsake us, or are taken from us, and we are exposed as Hagar with Ishmael in a Wilderness; yet still the Father of all consolations is with us; his Spirit who is the Comforter is in us: And he that so often speaketh the words of Comfort to us in his Gospel, and saith, [ Be of good chear; let not your hearts be troubled, neither be afraid, &c.] will speak them (in the season and measure which is fittest for them) unto our hearts. Though all Friends turn Enemies, and would de­stroy us, or turn false Accusers, as Iob's Friends, in their ignorance or passion; though all of them should add affliction to our affliction, yet is our Redeemer and [Page 85] Justifier still with us, and will lay his re­straining hand upon our Enemies, and say to their proudest fury [Hitherto and no further shall thou go] He is angry with Iob's accusing Friends, notwithstanding their friendship and good meaning, and though they seemed to plead for God and Godliness against Iob's sin: And who shall be against us while God is for us? or who shall condemn us when it is he that justi­fieth us? Though we be put to say as David, Psal. 142.4. [ I looked on my right hand and beheld, but there was no man that would know me; refuge failed me; no man cared for my Soul:] Yet we may say with him, vers. 5. and 7. [ I cryed unto thee, O Lord; I said, Thou art my refuge and my Portion in the land of the Living: Bring my Soul out of Prison that I may praise thy Name: The Righteous shall com­pass me about: For thou shalt deal bounti­fully with me: 2, 3. I poured out my com­plaint before him; I shewed before him my trouble: When my Spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my Path: In the way wherein I walked have they privi­ly laid a Snare for me.] Thus [ God is our refuge and strength; a very present help in trouble.] Psal. 46.1. Therefore should we [Page 86] not fear though the Earth were removed, and though the Mountains were carried into the mi [...]st of the Sea; though the Waters thereof roar and be troubled, &c. vers. 2.3. Though a [...] David saith, Psal. 41.5, 6, 7. [ Mine Enemies speak Evil of me: When shall he dye, and his name perish? And if he come to see me, he speaketh va­nity: His Heart gathereth Iniquity to it self; when he goeth abroad he tell [...]th it: All that [...]te me whisper t [...]gether against me: against me do they devise my hurt: An evil Disease, say they, cleaveth fast unto him; and now that he lyeth, he sh [...]ll rise up no more: Yea, my own familiar friend in whom I trusted, that did eat of my Bread, hath lift up his heel against me —] Yet we may add a [...] he, v. 12. [ And as for me, thou upholdest me in mine integrity, and settest me before thy face forever.] Though (as Psal. 35.7, &c. Without cause they have hid for me their Net in a Pit, which without cause they have digged for my Soul: 11. And false Witnesses did rise up, they laid to my charge things that I knew not; they rewarded me evil for good: 15, 16. In my adversity they rejoyced, and gather­ed themselves together; the objects gathered themselves together against me, and I knew [Page 87] it not; they did tear and ceased not; with hypocritical mockers in Feas [...]s, they gnashed upon me with their teeth: 20. For they speak not peace, but they devise deceitful matters against them that are quiet in the Land.] Yet verse 9. [ My Soul shall be joyful in the Lord; it shall rejoyce in his Salvation: 10. All my Bones shal [...] say, Lord, who is like unto thee, who deliverest the poor from him that is too strong for him, yea the poor and the needy from him that spoileth him.] Though Friends be far off, the Lord is nigh to them that are of a brok [...]n heart, and saveth such as be of a contrite Spirit: Many are the Afflictions of the Righteous; but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.] Psal. 34.18, 19. The Lord redeemeth the Soul of his Servants; and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate.] v. 22. Therefore [ I will be glad and rejoyce in his Mercy, for he hath considered my trou­ble, and hath known (and owned) my Soul in adversity: and hath not shut me in the hand of the Enemy. — When my life was spent with grief, and my years with sigh­ing; my strength failed because of mine iniquity, and my Bones were consumed; I was a reproach among all mine Enemies, but especially among my Neighbours, and [Page 88] a fear to mine Acquaintance; they that did see me without fled from me: I was forgotten, and as a dead man out of mind: I was like a broken Vessel: I heard the slander of many: fear was on every side; while they took counsel together against me, they devised to take away my life: But I trusted in thee, O Lord: I said, Thou art my God: my times are in thy hand: deliver me from the hand of mine enemies, and from them that persecute me: Make thy face to shine upon thy Servant: Save me for thy mercies sake. — O how great is thy goodness which thou hast laid up for them that fear thee, which thou hast wrought for them that trust in thee before the Sons of Men! Thou shalt hide them in the se­cret of thy presence from the Pride of Man: Thou shalt keep them secretly in a pavilion from the strife of Tongues, Psal. 31.] Thus God is with us when men are far from us, or against us: His people find by happy experience, that they are not alone. Because he is nigh them, evil shall not come nigh them, unless as it worketh for their good. He is their hiding place to pre­serve them from trouble: the great water-floods shall not come nigh them: he will compass them about with Songs of delive­rance.] Psal. 32.6, 7.

[Page 89]3. And as God is with us thus Rela­tively and Efficiently, so also Objectively for our holy converse. Wherever our Friends are, God is still at hand to be the most profitable, honourable and de­lightful Object of our thoughts. There is enough in him to take up all the facul­ties of my soul. He that is but in a well furnished Library, may find great and excellent employment for his Thoughts many years together: And so may he that liveth in the open World, and hath all the visible Works of God to meditate upon: But all this were nothing, if God were not the sense of Books and Creatures, and the matter of all these noble Stu­dies: He that is alone, and hath only God himself to study, hath the matter and sense of all the Books and Creatures in the World, to employ his thoughts upon. He never need to want matter for his meditation, that hath God to meditate on. He need not want matter of Dis­course (whether mental or vocal) that hath God to talk of, though he have not the name of any other Friend to men­tion. All our Affections may have in him the highest and most pleasant work. The Soul of Man cannot have a more [Page 90] sweet and excellent work than to love him: He wanteth neither work nor pleasure, that in his solitude is taken up in the believing contemplations of Eter­nal Love, and of all his blessed Attributes and Works. O then what happy and delightful converse may a Believer have with God alone! He is always present, and always at leisure to be spoken with; and always willing of our access and audience: He hath no interest Cross to our felicity, which should move him to reject us (as worldly great ones often have▪) He never misunderstandeth us, nor chargeth that upon us which we were never guilty of: If we converse with Men, their Mistakes, and Interests, and Passions, and Insufficiencies, do make the trouble so great, and the benefit so small, that many have become thereby aweary of the World, or of human Society, and have spent the rest of their days alone in desert places. Indeed, so much of God as appears in Men, so much is their converse excellent and delightful; and theirs is the best that have most of God. But there is so much of vanity, and self▪ and flesh, and sin in the most or all of of us, as very much darkneth our Light, [Page 91] and dampeth the pleasure, and blasteth the fruit of our Societies and Converse. O how oft have I been solaced in God, when I found nothing but deceit and darkness in the World! How oft hath he comforted me, when it was past the power of Man! How oft hath he relieved and delivered me, when all the help of Man was vain! It hath been my Stay and Rest, to look to him, when the Crea­ture hath been a broken Staff, and de­ceitful Friend [...] have been but as a broken Tooth, or a Foot that is out of Joint (as Solomon speaketh of confidence in an unfaithful man in time of trouble, Prov. 25.29.) Verily, as the World were but an horrid Dungeon without the Sun, so it were a howling wilderness, a place of no considerable Employment or De­light, were it not that in it we may live to God and do him Service, and sometime be refreshed with the light of his countenance, and the communicati­ons of his love. But of this more ano [...].

Vse 1. WE see our Example, and our Encouragements. Let us now as followers of Christ, endeavour to imitate him in this, and to Live upon God, when [Page 92] men forsake us, and to know that while God is with us, we are not alone, nor in­deed forsaken while he forsakes us not.

I shall, 1. Shew you here Negatively, what you must not do. 2. Affirmatively, what you must do; for the performance of your duty in this imitation of Christ.

1. You must not make this any pretence for the undervaluing of your useful Friends; nor for your unthankfulness for so great a Benefit as a Godly Friend: nor for the neglect of your Duty in impro­ving the Company and help of Friends: Two is better then one: The communi­on of Saints, and help of those that are wise and faithful, is a mercy highly to be esteemed. And the undervaluing of it, is at least a sign of a declining Soul.

2. You must not hence fetch any pre­tence to slight your Friends, and disob­lige them, or neglect any duty that you owe them, or any means therein necessary to the continuation of their Friendship.

3. You must not causelesly withdraw from humane society into Solitude. A weariness of converse with Men, is oft conjunct with a weariness of our Duty: And a retiring voluntarily into Solitude, when God doth not call or drive us thi­ther, [Page 93] is oft but a retiring from the place and work which God hath appointed us: And consequently a retiring rather from God, than to God. Like some idle Ser­vants, that think they should not work so hard, because it is but Worldly business, and think their Masters deal not Religi­ously by them, unless they let them neg­lect their labour, that they may spend more time in serving God: as if it were no serving God to be faithful in their Masters Service.

I deny not but very holy persons have lived in a state of retirement from hu­mane converse: In such cases as these it may become a Duty, 1. In case of such persecution as at present leaveth us no op­portunity of serving or honouring God so much in any other place or state.

2 In case that natural infirmity, or dis­ability, or any other accident shall make one less serviceable to God and his Church in Society than he is in solitude.

3. In case he hath committed a sin so heinous and of indelible scandal and re­proach, as that it is not fit for the Ser­vants of Christ any more to receive him into their local Communion, though he repent: (For as to Local Communion, I think, such a case may be.)

[Page 94]4. In case a man through custom and ill company be so captivated to some fleshly Lust, as that he is not able to bear the temptations that are found in humane con­verse; but falleth by them into frequent heinous sinning: In this case the right hand or eye is rather to be parted with, than their Salvation. And though a meer restraint by distance of temptations and opportunities of sinning, will not prove a man sanctified, nor save the soul that loveth the sin and fain would live in it; Yet, 1. Grace may sometime appear in the strength and self denyal which is ex­ercised in the very avoiding of temptati­ons, when yet perhaps the person hath not strength enough to have stood against the temptation if it had not been avoided. And 2. The distance of temptations, & op­portunity of serious and frequent conside­ration, may be a mean [...] to help to since­rity that want it.

5. In case a man by age or sickness find himself so near to death, as that he hath now a more special call to look after his present actual preparation, than to endea­vour any more the good of others; and find withall, that solitude will help him in his preparations, his Society being such as [Page 95] would but hinder him. In these five ca­ses I suppose it lawful to retire from hu­mane converse into solitude.

But when there is no such necessity or call, it usually proceedeth from one of these vicious distempers: 1. From Co­wardize and fear of suffering, when the souldiers of Christ do hide their heads, instead of confessing him before men.

2. From a laziness of mind and wea­riness of duty: when slothful unprofitable servants hide their talents, pretending their fear of the austerity of their Lord. Its easier to run away from our work, then do it: and to go out of the reach of ig­norance, malice, contradiction and un­godliness, than to encounter them, and con­quer them by Truth and Holy lives. So many persons as we converse with, so many are there to whom we owe some duty: And this is not so easie as it is to over run our work, and to hide our selves in some Wilderness or Cell, whilst others are fighting the Battels of the Lord. 3. Or it may proceed from meer impatience: When men cannot bear the frown, and scorns, and violence of the ungodly, they fly from sufferings, which by patience they should overcome. 4. Or it may [Page 96] come from humour and mutability of mind, and discontent with ones condition: Many retire from humane converse to please a discontented passionate mind; or expecting to find that privacy, which in publick they could not find, nor is any where to be found on Earth. 5. And some do it in Melancholy, meerly to please a sick imagination, which is vexed in company, and a little easeth it self in li­ving as the possessed man among the Tombs. 6. And somtimes it proceed­eth from self ignorance, and an unhumbled state of a Soul: When men think much better of themselves than others, they think they can more comfortably converse with themselves than with others: Where­as if they well understood that they are the worst or greatest enemies, or troubles to themselves, they would more fear their own Company than other mens: They would then consider what proud, and fleshly, and worldly, and selfish, and disordered hearts they are like to carry with them into their solitude, and there to be annoyed with from day to day: And that the nearest enemy is the worst, and the nearest trouble is the great­est.

[Page 97]These vices or infirmities carry many into solitude; and if they live where Po­pish vanity may seduce them, they will perhaps imagine, that they are serving God, and entring in perfection, when they are but sinfully obeying their corrup­tions: and that they are advanced above others in degrees of grace, while they are pleasing a diseased fancy, and entring into a dangerous course of sin. No doubt but the duties of a publick life are more in number, and greater in weight, and of more excellent consequence and ten­dency (even to the most publick good, and greatest honour of God) than the du­ties of privacy or retirement. Vir bonus est commune bonum: A good man is a com­mon good. And (saith Seneca) Nulla essent communia nisi pars illorum pertineret ad singulos] If every one have not some share or interest in them, how are they com­mon? Let me add these few Cons [...]derati­ons, to shew you the evil of voluntary un­necessary Solitude.

1. You less contribute to the honour of your Redeemer, and less promote his King­dom in the world, and less subserve his death and office, while you do good but to few, and live but almost to your selves.

[Page 98]2. You live in the poorest exercise of the grace of Charity; and therefore in a low undesirable condition.

3. You will want the communion of Saints, and benefit of publick ordinances (for I account not a Colledge life a Solita­ry life.) And you will want the help of the Charity, Graces and Gifts of others, by which you might be benefited.

4. It will be a life of smaller comfort, as it is a life of smaller benefit to others. They that do but little good (according to their ability) must expect but little comfort. They have usually most peace and comfort to themselves, that are the most profitable to others. [ Non potest quis­quam bene degere qui se tantum intuetur: Alteri vivas oportet, si tibi vis vivere: Sen.] No man can live well, that looketh but to himself: Thou must live to another, if thou wilt live to thy self.]

O the delight that there is in doing good to many! None knoweth it that hath not tryed it: Not upon any account of Merit; but as it Pleaseth God, and as Goodness it self is amiable and sweet; and as we re­ceive by communicating; and as we are un­der promise; and as Charity makes all the good that's done to another to be to us as our own!

[Page 99]5. We are dark and partial, and heed­less of our selves, and hardly brought or kept in acquaintance with our hearts; and therefore have the more need of the eye of others: And even an enemies eye may be useful, though malicious; and may do us good while he intends us evil, saith Bernard [Malum quod nemo videt nemo arguit: Vbi autem non timetur repre­hensor, securus accedit tenat [...]r; licentius perpetratur iniquitas] [The evil that none seeth, none reproveth: and where the re­prover is not feared, the temper cometh more boldly, and the sin is committed the more licentiously.] It's hard to know the spots in our own faces, when we have no glass or beholder to accquaint us with them. Saith Chrysostom' [Solitude is velamen omnium vitiorum] the cover of all vices] In company this cover is laid aside, and vice being more naked, is more ashamed. It is beholders that cause shame; which Soli­tude is not acquainted with: And it's a piece of impenitency not to be shamed of sin.

6. And we are for the most part so weak and sickly, that we are unable to subsist without the help of others. Sen. Nemo est ex imprudentibus qui relinqui sibi debet] unwise men (or infants, or sick-like [Page 100] men) must not be left to themselves.] And God hath let some impotency, insufficiency and necessity upon all that should keep men sociable, & make them acknowledge their need of others, and be thankful for assistance from them, and be ready to do good to others, as we would have others do to us. He that feeleth not the need of others, is so unhumb [...]ed as to have the greater need of them.

7. Pride will have great advantage in private, and Repentance great disadvan­tage, while our sins seem to be all dead, be­cause there is not a temptation to draw them out, or an observer to reprove them. [ Tam diu patiens quisque sibi videtur & humi [...]is, donec nullius hominum consortio commiscetur; ad naturam pristinam rever­surus quum interpellaverit cujuslibet occasio­nis commotio, inquit Cassianus] Many a man seems to himself patient and humble, while he keeps out of company? who would return to his own nature if the commotion of any occasion did but provoke him.] It's hard to know what sin or grace is in us▪ if we have not such tryals as are not to be found in Solitude.

8. Flying from the observation and [Page 101] judgment of others, is a kind of self-ac­cusation; as if we confest our selves so bad as that we cannot stand the tryal of the Light.] Bona conscientia turbam advo­cat: Mala in solitudine anxia est & solli­cita: si honesta sunt que facis omnes sciant: siturpia, quid refert neminem scire: cum tu scias! O te miserum si contemnis hunc testem: inquit Seneca.] That is [ A good conscience will call in the croud (or witnes­ses, not caring who seeth:) A bad consci­ence is anxious and sollicitous even in soli­tude: If they be things honest which thou doest, let all men know: If the be dishonest, what good doth it thee that no man else knoweth it, when thou knowest it thy self! O miserable man if thou dispise this witness!] Something is suspected to be amiss with those that are always in their Chambers, and are never seen. Tell not men that you cannot bear the light: It is he that doeth evil that hateth the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.

9. Solitude is too like to Death, to be de­sirable: He liveth that doth good; and he is dead that is useless. [Vivit is qui multis usu [...] est: Vivit is qui sentitur: qui vero lati­tant & torpent, mortem suam antecesserint, inquit Sen.] [He liveth that is profitable to [Page 102] many: He liveth that is observed or per­ceived: but they that lye hid and drowsie do anticipate their death.] And it is the most culpable death, and therefore the worst, to have Life, and not to use it.

10. A life of holy Communion is likest unto Heaven, where none shall be solitary, but all as members of the Heavenly Ieru­salem, shall in harmony Love and Praise their Maker.

These Reasons seem to me sufficient to satifie you that no man should choose a Soli­tude without a special necessity or call: nor yet should it be taken for a life of greater perfection, then a faithful serving of God [...]n publick, and doing good to more.

I Shall now come to the Affirmative, and tell you for all this, that [If God call us into Solitude, or men forsake us, we may rejoice in this, that we are not alone, but the Father is with us.] Fear not such Solitude, but be ready to improve it, if you be cast upon it. If God be your God, reconciled to you in Christ, and his Spi­rit be in you, you are provided for Soli­tude, and need not fear if all the World should cast you off. If you be banished, [Page 103] imprisoned, or left alone, it is but a Re­laxation from your greatest labours; which though you may not cast off your selves, you may lawfully be sensible of your ease, if God take off your Burden. It is but a cessation from your sharpest conflicts, and removal from a multitude of great Temptations. And though you may not cowardly retreat or shift your selves from the Fight and danger, yet if God will dispense with you, and let you live in greater peace and safety, you have no cause to murmur at his dealing. A Fruit Tree that groweth by the high-way side, doth seldom keep its fruit to ripeness, while so many Passengers have each his stone or Cudgel to cast at it: Seneca could say [ Nunquam a turba mores quos extuli refero: Aliquid ex eo quod composu [...] turbatur; aliquid ex his quae fugavi redit: Inimica est multorum conversatio] I never bring home well from a Crowd the manners which I took out with me: Something is disordered of that which I had set in order: Something of that which I had banished doth return: The conversation of many I find an enemy to me.] O how many vain and foo­lish words corrupt the minds of those that converse with an ungodly World, [Page 104] when your Ears and Minds who live in Solitude, are free from such Temptations! You live not in so corrupt an Air as they: You hear not the filthy ribbald Speeches, which fight against modesty and chastity, and are the bellows of Lust: You hear not the discontented complaining words of the impatient; nor the passionate pro­voking words of the offended; nor the wrangling quarrelsom words of the con­tentious; nor the censorious, or slande­rous, or reproachful words of the mali­cious, who think it their interest to have their Brethren taken to be bad, and to have others hate them, because they them selves hate them; and who are as zealous to quench the Charity of others, when it is destroyed in themselves, as holy persons are zealous to provoke others to Love, which dwe [...]eth and ruleth in them­selves. In your Solitude with God, you shall not hear the lyes and malicious re­vilings of the ungodly against the genera­tion of the just: Nor the subtile cheating words of Hereticks, who being themselves deceived, would deceive others of their Faith, and corrupt their lives. You shall not there be distracted with the noise and clamours of contending uncharitable pro­fessors [Page 105] of Religion, endeavouring to make odious first the Opinions, and then the persons of one another: one saying, here is the Church, and another, there is the Church: One saying, This is the true Church Government, and another saying Nay, but that is it: One saying, God will be worshipped thus, and another, not so, but thus or thus: You shall not there be drawn to side with one against another, nor to joyn with any faction, or be guil­ty of divisions: You shall not be troub­led with the Oaths and Blasphemies of the wicked, nor with the imprudent miscar­riages of the Weak; with the Persecu­tions of Enemies, or the falling out of Friends. You shall not see the cruelty of proud Oppressors, that set up lyes by armed violence, and care not what they say or do, nor how much other men are injured or suffer, so that themselves may tyrannize, and their wills and words may rule the World, when they do so un­happily rule themselves. In your solitude with God, you shall not see the prosperi­ty of the wicked to move you to envy, nor the adversity of the just to be your grief: You shall see no Worldly pomp and splendor to be fool you; nor adorn­ed [Page 106] beauty to entice you, nor wasting calamities to afflict you: You shall not hear the laughter of Fools, nor the sick mans groans, nor the wronged mans Com­plaints, nor the poor mans murmurings, nor the proud mans boastings, nor the angry mans abusive ragings. As you lose the help of your gracious friends, so you are freed from the fruits of their peevish­ness and passions; of their differing opin­ion and ways and tempers; of their in­equality, unsuitableness, and contrarie­ty of minds or interests; of their levity and unconstancy, and the powerful temp­tations of their friendship, to draw you to the errors or other sins which they are tainted with themselves. In a word, you are there half delivered from the VANITY and VEXATION of the world; and were it not that you are yet undelivered from your selves, and that you take distempered corrupted hearts with you, O what a felicity would your solitude be! But, alas, we cannot overrun our own diseases, we must carry with us the remnants of our corrupted na­ture; our deadness, and dulness, our selfishness and earthly minds, our impati­ence and discontents; and worst of all▪ [Page 107] our lamentable weakness of faith and love and heavenly mindedness, and our strangeness to God, and backwardness to the matters of eternal life. O that I could escape these, though I were in the hands of the cruellest enemies! O that such a heart could be left behind! How gladly would I overrun both house, and land, and honour, and all sensual delights, that I might but overrun it! O where is the place where there is none of this darkness, nor disaffection, nor distance, nor estrangedness from God! O that I knew it! O that I could find it! O that I might there dwell! though I should ne­ver more see the face of mortals; nor e­ver hear a human Voice, nor ever taste of the delights of flesh! Alas, foolish Soul: such a place there is, that hath all this, and more than this▪ But it is not in a Wilderness, but in Paradise, not here on Earth, but above with Christ! And yet am I so loath to die? yet am I no more desirous of the blessed day, when I shall b [...] uncloathed of flesh and sin? O death, what an Enemy art thou even to my Soul▪ By affrighting me from the presence of my Lord, and hindring my desires and wil­lingness to be gone, thou wrongest me [Page 108] much more, than by laying my flesh to rot in darkness. Fain I would know God, and fain I would more love him and enjoy him: But O this hurtful love of life! O this unreasonable fear of dying, detaineth my desires from pressing on to the happy place where all this may be had! O wretched man that I am, who shall deli­ver me from this body of death! this car­nal unbelieving heart, that sometime can think more delightfully of a Wilderness then of Heaven; that can go seek after God in desert solitude, among the Birds and Beasts and Trees, and yet is so back­ward to be loosed from flesh that I may find him and enjoy him in the World of glory: Can I expect that Heaven come down to Earth! and that the Lord of glory should remove his Court, and ei­ther leave the retinue of his Celestial Courtiers, or bring them all down into this drosly World of flesh and sin, and this to satisfie my fleshly foolish mind! Or can I expect the translation of Henoch or the Chariot of Elias? Is it not enough that my Lord hath conquered Death, and sanctifyed the passage, and prepa­red the place of my perpetual abode.

Well! for all this, though a Wilderness [Page 109] is not Heaven, it shall be sweet and welcom for the sake of Heaven, if thence I may but have a clearer prospect of it: and if by retiring from the crowd and noise of Folly, I may but be more com­posed and better disposed to converse a­bove, and to use my Faith (alas, my too weak languid Faith) until the beatifical Vision and Fruition come. If there may be but more of God, or readier access to him, or more heart quickning flames of Love, or more heart-comforting in­timations of his Favour, in a wilderness than in a City, in a Prison than in a Pa­lace; let that Wilderness be my City, and let that Prison be my Palace, while I must abide on Earth. If in solitude I may have Henochs walk with God, I shall in due season have such a translati­on as shall bring me to the same felicity which he enjoyeth: And in the mean time as well as after, it is no incommodity, if by mortal eyes I be seen no more. If the Chariot of contemplation will in solitude raise me to more believing affectionate converse with Heaven, than I could ex­pect in Tumults and Temptations, it shall reconcile me unto solitude, and make it my Paradise on Earth, till Angels [Page 110] instead of the Chariot of Elias, shall convey me to the presence of my glori­fied Head, in the Celestial Paradise.

Object. But it is grievous to one that hath been used to much company, to be alone.

Answ. Company may so use you, that it may be more grievous to you not to be alone. The Society of Wasps and Serpents may be spared; and Bees them­selves have such Stings as make some that have felt them think they bought the hony dear.

But can you say, you are alone, while you are with God? Is his presence no­thing to you? Doth it not signifie more than the company of all Men in the world? Saith Hierom, [Sapions nunquam solus esse potest: habet enim secum omnes qui sunt, & qui fuerunt boni — & si h [...]mi­num sit inopia, loquitur cum Deo] viz. A wise man cannot be alone: for he hath with him the good men that are or have been — And if there be a want of men, he speaks with God.] He should rather have said, There can be no want of man, when we may speak with God: And were it not that God is here revealed to us as in a glass, and that we do converse with God in Man, we should think human converse little worth.

[Page 111]Object. O but Solitude is disconsolate to a sociable Mind.

Answ. But the most desirable Society is no Solitude: Saith Hierom, [Infinita cremi vas [...]itas te terret? sed tu Paradisum mente de ambula: Quotiescunque cogitatione ac mente illuc conscenderi [...], toties in eremo non e [...]is] that is [ Doth the infinite vastness of the wilderness terrifie thee? But do thou (ascend) in mind and walk in Paradise: As oft as thou ascendest thither in thought and mind, so oft thou shalt not be in the wilderness.] If God be nothing to thee, thou art not a Christian but an Atheist. If God be God to thee, he is All in all to thee; and then should not his presence be instead of all? O that I might get one step nearer unto God, though I re­ceded many from all the world! O that I could find that place on Earth where a Soul may have nearest access unto him, and fullest knowledge and en­joyment of him, though I never more saw the face of Friends! I should chear­fully say with my blessed Saviour [ I am not alone, for the Father is with me.] And I should say so for these Reasons follow­ing.

1. If God be with me, the Maker, and [Page 112] Ruler, and Disposer of all is with me: So that all things are virtually with me in him. I have that in Gold and Jewels which I seem to want in Silver, Lead, and Dross. I can want no Friend if God vouchsafe to be my Friend; and I can enjoy no benefit by all my Friends, if God be my Enemy. I need not fear the greatest Enemies, if God be reconciled to me. I shall not miss the light of the Candle, if I have this blessed Sun. The Creature is nothing but what it is from God, and in God: And it is worth no­thing, or good for nothing, but what it's worth in order unto God, as it declareth him, and helps the Soul to know him, serve him, or draw nearer to him: As it is Idolatry in the unhappy worldling, to thirst after the Creature with the neglect of God, and so to make the world his God; so doth it savour of the same hainous sin to lament our loss of Crea­tures more than the displeasure of God. If God be my Enemy, or I am fallen un­der his indignation, I have then so much greater matters to lament than the loss, or absence, or frowns of Man, as should almost make me forget that there is such a thing as man to be regarded: But if God be my Father, and my Friend in [Page 113] Christ, I have then so much to think of with delight, and to recreate and con­tent my Soul, as will procl [...]im it most incongruous and absurd to lament mor­dinately the absence of a wo [...]m, while I have his Love and Presence who is All in All. If God cannot content me, and be not enough for me, how is he then my God? or how shall he be my Hea­ven and everlasting H [...]ppiness?

2. If God be with me, he is with me to whom I am absolutely devoted. I am wholly his, and have acknowledg­ed his interest in me, and long ago dis­claimed all Usurpers, and repented of Alienations, and unreservedly resigned my self to him: And where shoul [...] I dwell but with him that is my owner, and with whom I have made the solemnest Cove­nant that ever I made? I never gave my self to any other, but in subordina­tion to him, and with a salvo for his highest inviolable right. Where should my goods be but in my own house? With whom should a servant dwell but with his Master? and a Wife, but with her Husband? and Children but with thei [...] Father? I am nearlier related to my God and to my Sa­viour, than I am to any of my Relations in [Page 114] this world. I owe more to him than to all the World: I have renounced all the World, as they stand in any competition or comparison with him; and can I want their company then while I am with him? How shall I hate Father and Mo­ther, and Wife and Children, and Bro­ther and Sister for his sake, if I cannot spare them, or be without them to en­joy him? To hate them is but to use them as Men do hated things, that is, to cast them away with contempt as they would alienate me from Christ, and to cleave to him, and be satisfied in him a­lone. I am now married to Christ, and therefore must chearfully leave Father and Mother, and my native place, and all to cleave to him: And with whom should I now delight to dwell, but with him who hath t [...]ken me into so near relation, to be, as it were, one Flesh with him! O my dear Lord, hide not thou thy face from an unkind an unworthy sinner! Let me but dwell with thee and see thy face, and feel the gracious embracements of thy Love, and then let me be cast off by all the world, if thou see it meetest for me; or let all other friends be where they will, so that my Soul may be with thee: [Page 115] I have agreed for thy sake to forsake all, even the dearest that shall stand against thee; and I resolve by thy grace to stand to this Agreement.

3. If God be with me, I am not alone, for he is with me that loveth me best.] The Love of all the Friends on Earth is no­thing to his Love. O how plainly hath he declared that he loveth me, in the strange condescention, the Sufferings, Death, and Intercession of his Son? What Love hath he declared in the communi­cations of his Spirit, and the operations of his Grace, and the near Relations into which he brought me? What Love hath he declared in the course of his Providen­ces? In many and wonderful preservati­ons and deliverances? In the conduct of his Wisdom, and in a Life of Mercies? What Love appeareth in his precious Promises, and the glorious Provisions he hath made for me with himself to all eter­nity? O my Lord, I am ashamed that thy Love is so much lost; that it hath no better return from an unkind unthankful heart; that I am not more delighted in thee, and swallowed up in the contemp­lation of thy Love; I can contentedly let go the Society and converse of all [Page 116] others, for the converse of some one bosom Friend, that is dearer to me than they all, as Ionathan to David: And can I not much more be sati [...]fied in thee alone, and let go all if I m [...]y continue with thee? My very Dog will gladly forsake all the Town, and all Persons in the world, to follow me alone! And have I not yet found so much Love and Goo [...] ness in thee my dear and blessed God, as to be willing to converse alone with thee? All men delight most in the company of those that love them best: They choose not to converse with the Multitude when they look for solace and content, but with their dearest Friends: And should any be so dear to me as God? O were not thy Love unworthily neg­lecte [...] by an unthankful heart, I should never [...]e so unsatisfied in thee, but should take up, or seek my comforts in thee: I should then say, Whom have I in Hea­ven but thee, and there is none on Earth that I desire besides thee! Though not only my Friends, but my Flesh and Heart themselves should fail me, it is thou that will still be the strength of my heart, and my portion forever: it is good therefore for me to draw near to thee, [Page 117] how far soever I am from Man: O let me there dwell where thou wilt not be strange, for thy loving kindness is better than life. Instead of the multitude of my [...]u [...]moiling thoughts, let me be taken up in the believing views of thy recon­ciled Face, and in the glad Attendance upon thy Grace; or at least in the mul­titude of my thoughts within me, let thy celestial comforts delight my soul. Let me dwell as in thy Family; and when I awake, let me be still with thee! Let me go no whither but where I am still following thee: Let me [...]o nothing but thy work, nor serve any other but when I may truly call it a serving thee: Let me hear nothing [...]ut thy voice, and let me know thy voice by whatever in­strument thou shalt speak: Let me never see a [...]y thing but thy self and the glass that representeth thee, and the Books in in which I may read thy Name: And let me never play with the out-side, and gaze on Words and Letters as insignifi­cant, and not observe [...]hy Name which is the sense. Whether it be in company or in solitude, let me be continually with thee, and do thou vouchs [...]fe to hold me by my right hand: And guide me with [Page 118] thy counsel, and afterwards receive me unto thy Glory, Psal. 73.23, 24, 25, 26, 28. Psal. 63.3.

4. If God be with me I am not alone; for I shall be with him whose Love is of greater use and benefit to me, than the love of all my Friends in the world. Their Love may perhaps be some little comfort, as it floweth from His: But it is His Love by which and upon which I Live. It is His Love that gives me Life and Time, and Health and Food, and Preservation; that gives me Books, gives me books and giveth me understand­ing: that giveth me provision, and saveth me from turning it to pernicious fleshli­ness and excess; that giveth me even my friends themselves, and saveth me from that abuse which might make them to me worse than enemies. The Sun, the Earth, the Air is not so useful or needful to me as his Love. The Love of all my friends cannot make me well when I am sick: It cannot forgive the smallest of my sins; nor yet assure me of Gods forgiveness: It cannot heal the maladies of my soul, nor give a solid lasting peace to the conscience which is troubled: If all my friends stand about me when I am dying, they cannot [Page 119] take away the fears of death, nor secure my passage to everlasting life: Death will be Death still, and danger will be dan­ger, when all my friends have done their best. But my Almighty friend is All suf­ficient: He can prevent my sickness, or rebuke and cure it, or make it so good to me, that I shall thank him for it: He can blot out my transgressions, and forgive all my sin; and justifie me when the world and my conscience do condemn me: He can teach me to believe, to repent, to pray, to hope, to suffer, and to over­come: He can quiet my soul in the midst of trouble, and give me a well grounded everlasting peace, and a joy which no man can take from me. He can deliver me from all the corruptions and distempers of my froward heart; and ease me and secure me in the troublesom war which is daily managed in my breast. He can make it as easie a thing to dye, as to lye down and take my rest when I am weary, or to undress me at night and go to bed. He can teach Death to lay by its terrible aspect, and to speak with a mild and com­fortable voice, & to bring me the joyfullest tydings that ever came unto my ears; and to preach to me the last and sweetest Ser­mon, [Page 120] even the same that our [...]aviour prea­ched on the Cross [ Luke 23.43. Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with Christ in Paradise.]

And is this the difference between the Love of man and of God? And yet do I lament the loss of man! And yet am I so backward to converse with God, and to be satisfied in his Love alone! Ah my God, how justly mayest thou withhold that Love which I thus undervalue; and refuse that converse which I have first re­fused? and turn me over to man, to silly man, to sinful man, whose converse I so much desire, till I have learnt by dear ex­perience the difference between man and God, and between an Earthly and an Heavenly friend! Alas, have I not try­ed it oft enough, to have known it bet­ter before this day! Have [...] not [...] e­nough sound what man is in a time of tryal! Have I not been tol [...] it over and over, and told it to the quick, by deceit­ful friends, by self-seeking friends, by mutable, erroneous, deceived, scanda­lous, backslding friends, by proud and selfconceited friends; by passionate, quarrelsom, vexatious friends, by self-grieved, troubled friend [...], that have but [Page 121] brought me all their calamities and griefs to be additions to my own; by tempting friends, that have drawn me to sin more effectually than enemies; by tender, faithful, but unable friends, that have but fetcht fire from my calamities and sorrows to kindle their own, not equally sharing, but each one taking all my trou­ble entirely to himself: that have been willing, but insufficient to relieve me; and therefore the greater was their Love, the greater was their own, and consequent­ly mine affliction, that would have been with me, but could not; that would fain have eased my pain, and strengthened my languishing body, but could not; that would fain have removed all my troubles, and comforted my cast down mind, but could not. O how often have I found that humane friendship is a sweet desired addition to our woe; a beloved calamity, and an affliction which nature will not be without, not because it Loveth evil, nor because it is wholly deceived in its choice (for there is Good in friendship, and delight in holy Love) but because the Good which is here accompanied with so much evil, is the beginn [...]ng of a more high and durable frendship, and pointeth [Page 122] us up to the blessed delightful society and converse which in the heavenly Ieru­salem we shall have with Christ.

But O how much better have I found the friendship of the All-sufficient God! His Love hath not only pitited me, but relieved me: He hath not only been as it were afflicted with me in my afflictions, but he hath delivered me seasonably, and powerfully, and sweetly hath he delivered me: And when he had once told me that my afflictions were his own, I had no rea­son to doubt of a deliverance. My bur­dened mind hath been eased by his Love, which was but more burdened by the fruitless Love of all my friends. Oft have I come to man for help, and ease, and comfort, and gone away as from an empty Cistern, that had no water to cool my thirst; but God hath been a present help: Could I but get near him, I was sure of Light, how great soever was my former darkness: Could I but get near him, I was sure of warming quick­ning Life, how dead soever I had been before: But all my misery was, that I could not get near him! My darkened e­stranged guilty soul, could not get quiet­ [...]ng and satisfying acquaintance: My lum­pish [Page 123] heart lay dead on earth, and would not stir, or quickly fall down again, if by any Celestial force it began to be drawn up, and move a little towards him: My carnal mind was entangled in diverting vanities: And thus I have been kept from communion with my God. Kept! not by force or humane tyranny; not by bars or bolts, or distance of a place, or by the lowness of my condition; nor by any misrepresentations o [...] reproach of man; but, alas, by my self, by the dark­ness and deadness, and sluggishness, and earthliness, and fleshliness, and passions of a naughty heart. These have been my bars, and bolts, and jaylors; These are they that have kept me from my God: Had it not been for these I might have got nearer to him; I might have walkt with him, and dwelt with him; yea dwelt in him, and he in me: and then I should not have mist any friends, nor felt mine ene­mies: And is it my sinful distance from my God that hath been my loss, my wil­derness, my woe! And is it a nearer ad­mittance to the presence of his Love that must be my recovery and my joy, if ever I attain to joy! O then my soul, lay hold on Christ the Reconciler, and in him and [Page 124] by him draw near to God: And cease from man whose breath is in his nostrils: Love God in his Saints, and delightfully converse with Christ in them, while thou hast opportunity. But Remember thou Livest not upon them, or on their Love, but upon God, and therefore desire their Company but for His: And if thou have His, be content if thou have not theirs.

He wants not man that enjoyeth God. Gather up all the Love, and Thoughts, and Desires which have been scattered and lost upon the Creatures, and set them all on God himself, and press into his presence, and converse with him, and thou shalt find the mistake of thy present discontents, and sweet experience shall tell thee thou hast made a happy change.

5. If God be with me, I am not alone, because he is with me with whom my great­est business lyeth: And what company should I desire, but theirs with whom I have my daily necessary work to do? I have more to do with God, than with all the World: Yea more and greater busi­ness with him in one day, than with all the World in all my life. I have business with man about house, or lands, or food, [Page 125] or raiment, or labour, or journying, or Recreations, about society and publick peace: But what are these to my busi­ness with God! Indeed with holy men I have holy Business; but that is but as they are Messengers from God, and come to me on his business, and so they must be dearly welcome: But even then my business is much more with God then with them; with him that sent them, then with the Messenger. Indeed my business with God is so great, that If I had not a Mediator to encourage and assist me, to do my work and procure me acceptance, the thoughts of it would overwhelm my Soul.

O therefore my Soul, let man stand by: It is the Eternal God that I have to do with: And with whom am I to transact in this little time the business of my endless life. I have to deal with God through Christ, for the pardon of my sins, of all my great and grievous sins; and wo to me if I speed not, that ever I was born: I have some hopes of pardon, but inter­mixt with many perplexing fears: I have evidences much blotted, and not easily understood: I want assurance that he is in­deed my Father, and reconciled to me, [Page 126] and will receive me to himself when the World forsaketh me: I have many lan­guishing graces to be strengthened; and alas, what radicated, obstinate, vexatious corruptions to be cured! Can I look in­to my heart, into such an unbelieving, dead, and earthly heart, into such a proud and peevish and disordered heart, into such a trembling, perplexed, self-accusing heart, and yet not understand how great my business is with God! Can I peruse my sins, or feel my wants, and sink un­der my weaknesses, and yet not discern how great my business is with God! Can I look back upon all the time that I have lost, and all the grace that I un­thankfully resisted, and all the mercies that I trod under foot, or fool'd away, and can I look before me and see how near my time is to an end, and yet not un­derstand how great my business is with God; Can I think of the malice and di­ligence of Satan, the number, power and subtilty of mine Enemies, the many snares and dangers that are still before me, the strength and number of temptations, and my ignorance, unwatchfulness and weak­ness to resist, and yet not know that my greatest business is with God: Can I feel [Page 127] my afflictions and lament them, and think my burden greater than I can bear, and find that man cannot relieve me; can I go mourning in the heaviness of my soul, and water my Bed with Tears, and fill the air with my groans and lamentations, or feel my soul overwhelmed within me, so that my words are intercepted, and I am readier to break than speak, and yet not perceive that my greatest business is with God? Can I think of dying? Can I draw near to judgment? Can I think of ever­lasting joys in Heaven? and of everlast­ing pains in Hell, and yet not feel that my greatest business is with God? O then, my soul, the case is easily resolved, with whom it is that thou must most desirously and seriously converse. Where shouldst thou be but where thy business is, and so great business! Alas, what have I to do with man! what can it do but make my head ake, to hear a deal of senseless chat, about preferments, lands and dig­nities, about the words and thoughts of Men, and a thousand toys that are ut­terly impertinent to my great imploy­ments, and signifie nothing but that the dreaming world is not awake! What pleasure is it to see the busles of a Bedlam [Page 128] world? what a stir they make to prove or make themselves unhappy? How low and of how little weight, are the learned discourses about syllables and words, and names and notions, and mood and figure, yea, or about the highest Planets, when all are not referred unto God? Were it not that some converse with men, doth fur­ther my converse with God; and that God did transact much of his business by his messengers and servants, it were no matter whether ever I more saw the face of man: were it not that my Master hath placed me in society, and appointed me and much of my work for others, and with others, and much of his mercy is convey­ed by others, man might stand by, and solitude were better then the best society, and God alone should take me up. O nothing is so much my misery and shame, as that I am no more willing, nor better skilled in the management of my great important business! That my work is with God, and my heart is no more with him! O what might I do in holy medi­tation or Prayer one hour; if I were as ready for prayer, and as good at prayer as one that hath so long opportunity and so great necessity to converse with God, [Page 129] should be! A prayerless heart, a heart that flyeth away from God, is most excu­sable in such a one as I, that hath so much important business with him: It is work that must be done; and if well done, will never be repented of: I use not to return from the presence of God (when indeed I have drawn near him) as I do from the company of empty men, repent­ing that I have lost my time, and trem­bled that my mind is discomposed or de­pressed by the vanity and earthly savour of their discourse: I oft repent that I have prayed to him so coldly, and conver­sed with him so negligently, and served him so remisly; but I never repent of the time, the cares, the afflictions, or the dili­gence imployed in his holy work. Many a time I have repented that ever I spent so much time with man, and wisht I had never seen the faces of some that are emi­nent in the world, whose favour and con­verse others are ambitious of: But it is my greif and shame that so small a part of all my life, hath been spent with God; and that fervent prayer and heavenly con­templations, have been so seldom and so short. O that I had lived more with God, though I had been less with my dearest of [Page 130] my friends! How much more blameless, regular and pure! How much more fruit­ful, and answerable to my obligations and professions! How much more comfort­able to my review! How many falls, and hurts, and wounds, and greifs, and groans might I have escaped! O how much more pleasing is it now to my Remembrance, to think of the hours in which I have lain at the feet of God, though it were in tears and groans, than to think of the time which I have spent in any common con­verse with the greatest, or the learnedest, or the dearest of my acquaintance!

And as my Greatest business is with God, so my daily-business is also with him: He purposely leaveth me under wants, and suffers necessities daily to re­turn, and enemies to assault me, and affliction to surprize me, that I may be daily driven to him: He loveth to hear from me: He would have me be no stran­ger with him: I have business with him every hour: I need not want employ­ment for all the faculties of my Soul, if I know what it is to converse in Hea­ven. Even Prayer, and every holy thought of God, hath an Object so great and excellent, as should wholly [Page 131] take me up. Nothing must be thought or spoken lightly about the Lord. His Name must not be taken in vain: No­thing that is common beseemeth his Worshipers. He will be sanctified of all that shall draw near him: He must be loved with all the Heart and Might. His Servants need not be wearied for want of employment, nor through the lightness or unprofitableness of their em­ployment: If I had Cities to build, or Kingdoms to govern, I might better complain for want of Employment for the Faculties of my Soul, than I can when I am to converse in Heaven. In other Studies the delight abateth, when I have reached my desire, and know all that I can know: But in God there is infinitely more to be known, when I know the most. I am never satiated with the easiness of knowing, nor are my de­sires abated by any unusefulness or unwor­thiness in the Object; but I am drawn to it by it's highest Excellencies, and drawn on to desire more and more by the infiniteness of the Light which I have not yet beheld, and the infinite­ness of the Good which yet I have not enjoyed. If I be idle, or seem to [Page 132] want employment, when I am to con­template all the Attributes, Relations, Mercies, Works, and revealed perfecti­ons of the Lord, it's sure for want of Eyes to see, or a Heart enclined to my business: If God be not enough to em­ploy my Soul, then all the Persons and Things on Earth are not enough.

And when I have Infinite Goodness to delight in, where my Soul may freely let out it self, and never need to fear excess of Love; how sweet should this employment be? As Knowledge, so love is never stinted here, by the narrowness of the Object: can never love him in any proportion either to his Goodness and amiableness in himself, or to his Love to us. What need have I then of any other company or business, when I have infinite Goodness to delight in, and to Love (further than they subserve this greatest Work?)

Come home then, O my Soul, to God: Converse in Heaven: Turn away thine eyes from beholding Vanity: Let not thy affections kindle upon straw or bry­ars, that go out when they have made a flash or noise, and leave thee to thy cold and darkness: But come and dwell upon celestial beauties, and make it thy daily [Page 133] and most diligent Work, to kindle thy affections on the infinite everlasting Good; and then they will never be ex­tinguished or decay for want of Fewel; but the further they go, and the longer they burn, the greater will be the Flame. Though thou find it hard while Love is but a Spark to make it burn, and com­plain that thy cold and backward heart is hardly warmed with the love of God, yet when the whole pile hath taken fire, and the flame ascendeth, fire will breed fire, Love will cause Love; and all the malice of Hell it self shall never be able to suppress or quench it unto all Eternity.

6. And it is a great Encouragement to my converse with God, that no mis­understanding, no malice of Enemies, no former sin or present [...] frailty, no, nor the infinite distance of the most holy glo­rious God, can hinder my access to him, or turn away his Ear or Love, or inter­rupt my leave and liberty of converse. If I converse with the poor, their wants afflict me, being greater than I can sup­ply: Their complaints and expectations which I cannot satisfie, are my trouble. If I would converse with Great ones, it is not easie to get access: and less easie [Page 134] to have their Favour, unless I would purchase it at too dear a rate: How strangely and contemptuously do they look at their inferiours! Great Friends must be made for a word or Smile: And if you be not quickly gone, they are aweary of you: And if you seek any thing of them, or would put them to any cost or trouble, you are as welcom to them as so many Vermin or noisom Creatures. They please them best that drive you away. With how much la­bour and difficulty must you clime, if you will see the top of one of these Mountains? And when you are there, you are but in a place of barrenness; and have nothing to satisfie you for your pains, but a larger prospect and vertigi­nous despect of the lower grounds which are not your own: It is seldom that these Great Ones are to be spoken with: And perhaps their Speech is but a denyal of your Requests, if not some snappish and contemptuous Rejection, that makes you glad when you are got far enough from them, and makes you the better like and love the accessible calm & fruitful Plains.

But, O how much greater encourage­ments hath my Soul to converse with [Page 135] God! Company never hindereth him from harkning to my Suit: He is Infi­nite and Omnipotent, and as sufficient for every individual Soul, as if he had no other to look after in the World: When he is taken up with the attendance and praises of his heavenly Host, he is as free and ready to attend and answer the groans and prayers of a contrite Soul, as if he had no nobler Creatures, nor no higher Service to regard. I am oft unready, but God is never unready: I am unready to pray, but he is not unrea­dy to hear: I am unready to come to God, to walk with him, and to solace my Soul with him; but he is never un­ready to entertain me. Many a time my Conscience would have driven me away, when he hath called me to him, and rebuked my accusing fearful Con­science. Many a time I have called my self a Prodigal, a companion of Swine, a miserable hard-hearted Sinner, unwor­thy to be called his Son, when he hath called me Child, and chid me for my questioning his Love. He hath readily forgiven the Sins which I thought would have made my Soul fuel of Hell: He hath entertained me with Joy, with [Page 136] Musick and a Feast, when I better de­served to have been among the Dogs without his Doors. He hath embraced me in his sustaining consolatory Arms, when he might have spurned my guilty Soul to Hell, and said, Depart from me, thou worker of Iniquity, I know thee not. O little did I think, that he could ever have forgotten the Vanity and Vil­lany of my Youth; yea, so easily have forgotten my most aggravated sins. When I had sinned against Light; when I had resisted Conscience; when I had fre­quently and wilfully injured Love, I thought he would never have forgot­ten it: But the greatness of his Love and Mercy, and the blood and interces­sion of his Son, hath cancelled all. O how many Mercies have I tasted since I thought I had sinned away all Mer­cies! How patiently hath he born with me, since I thought he would never have put up more? And yet besides my sins and the withdrawings of my own heart, there hath been nothing to in­terrupt our converse. Though he be God, and I a worm, yet that would not have kept me out: Though he be in Heaven, yet he is near to succour [Page 137] me on Earth, in all that I call upon him for: Though he have the praise of Angels, he disdaineth not my Tears and Groans: Though he have the perfect Love of perfect Souls, he knoweth the little Spark in my Breast, and despiseth not my weak and languid Love: Though I injure and dishonour him by loving him no more; though I oft forget him, and have been out of the way when he hath come or called me; though I have disobediently turned away mine ears, and unkindly refused the entertainments of his Love, and unfaithfully plaid with those whose company he forbad me, he hath not divorced me, nor turned me out of doors. O wonderful! that Heaven will be familiar with Earth! and God with Man! the Highest with a Worm! and the most Holy with an unconstant Sinner! Man refuseth me, when God will entertain me: Man, that is no wiser or better than my self. Those that I never wronged or deserved ill off, reject me with Reproach: And God whom I have unspeakably injured, doth invite me, and intreat me, and condes­cendeth to me, as if he were beholden to me to be saved: Men that I have [Page 138] deserved well of, do abhor me: And God that I have deserved Hell of, doth accept me. The best of them are Briars, and as a thorny Hedge, and he is Love, and Rest, and Joy: And yet I can be more welcom to him, tho [...]gh I have of­fended h [...]m, than I can to them whom I have obliged: I have freer leave to cast my slef into my Fathers Arms, than to tumble in those Briars, or wallow in the Dirt. I upbraid my self with my sins, but he doth not upbraid me with them. I condemn my self for them, but he condemns me not: He forgivet [...] me so [...]n [...]r than I can forgive my self: I have peace with him, before I can have peace of Conscience.

O therefore my Soul, draw near to him that is so willing of thy company! That frowneth thee not away, unless it be when thou hast fallen into the dirt, that tho [...] mayst wash thee from thy fil­thiness, and the fitter for his converse. Draw near to him that will not wrong thee, by believing misreports of Ene­mies, or laying to thy charge the things thou knewest not: but will forgive the Wrongs thou hast done to him, and justi­fie thee from the sin, that Conscience [Page 139] layeth to thy charge. Come to him that by his Word and Spirit, his Mini­sters and Mercies calleth thee to come; and hath promised, that those that come to him, he will in no wise shut out. O walk with him that will bear thee up, and lead thee as by the right hand ( Psal. 73.23.) and carry his Infants when they cannot go! O speak to him that teach­eth thee to speak, and understandeth and accepts thy Stammering; and help­eth thine Infirmities when thou knowest not what to pray for as thou oughtest; and giveth thee Groans when thou hast not words, and knowe [...]h the meaning of his Spirit in thy Groans: that cannot be contained in the Heaven of Heavens, and yet hath respect to the contrite Soul, that trembleth at his word, and feareth his displeasure: That pityeth the Tears, and despiseth not the sighing of a broken heart, nor the desires of the sorrowful. O walk with him that is never weary of the converse of an up [...]ight Soul! That is never angry with thee, but for flying from him, or for drawing back, or being too strange, and refusing the kind­ness and felicity of his presence. The day is coming when the proudest of [Page 140] the Sons of Men would be glad of a good look from him, that thou hast leave to walk with: Even they that would not look on thee, and they that injured and abused thee, and they that inferiours could have no access to; O how glad would they be then of a Smile, or a word of hope and mercy from thy Father! Draw near then to him, on whom the whole Creation doth d [...]pend; whose favour at last the proudest and the worst would purchase with the loud­est cries, when all their pomp and plea­sure is gone, and can purchase nothing. O walk with him that is Love it self, and think him not unwilling-or unlovely; and let not the Deceiver by hideous misrepresentations drive thee from him: when thou hast felt a while the storms abroad, me thinks thou shouldst say, How good, how safe, how sweet is it to draw near to God!

7. With whom should I so desirously con­verse, as with him whom I must live with for ever? If I take pleasure in my House, or Land, or Country, my walks, my books or friends themselves as cloathed with flesh, I must possess this pleasure but a little while; Henceforth know we no [Page 141] man after the flesh: Had we known Christ himself after the flesh, we must know him so no more for ever. (Though his Glorified spiritual Body we shall know.) Do you converse with Father or Mother? with Wives or Children? with Pastors and Teachers? Though you may converse with these as Glorifi­ed Saints, when you come to Christ, yet in these Relations that they stand in to you now, you shall converse with them but a little while: For the time is short: It remaineth that both they that have wives be as though they had none; and they that weep as though they wept not; and they that rejoyce as though they rejoyced not; and they that buy as though they possessed not; and they that use the World, as not abu­sing it (or as though they used it not:) for the fashion of this World doth pass a­way.] 1 Cor. 7.29, 30, 31.

Why then should I so much regard, a converse of so short continuance? Why should I be so familiar in my Inn, and so in love with that familiarity, as to grieve when I must but think of leaving it, or talk of going home, and look for­ward to the place where I must dwell for ever? shall I be fond of the company of [Page 142] a passenger that I travel with (yea per­haps one that doth but meet me in the way, and goeth to a contrary place) and shall I not take more pleasure to remem­ber home? I will not be so uncivil as to deny those I meet a short salute, or to be friendly with my fellow-Travellers: But remember, O my Soul, that thou dost not dwell but travel here, and that it is thy Fathers House where thou must a­bide forever: Yea and he is nearer thee than Man (though invisible) even in thy way. O see him then that is invisible: Hearken to him when he spea [...]eth: O­bey his voice: Observe his way: Speak to him boldly, though humbly and re­verently, a [...] his Child, about the great concernments of thy State: Tell him what it is that aileth thee: And seeing all thy smart is the fruit of thy own sin, confess thy folly and unkindness, crave his forgiveness, and remember him what his Son hath suffered, and for what: Treat with him about thy future course: Desire his Grace, and give up thy self to his Conduct and his Cure: Weep over in his Ears the History of thy misdoings and unthankful course: Tell it him with penitential tears and groans: But tell [Page 143] him also the advantage that he hath for the honouring of his grace, if it may now abound where sin aboundeth: Tell him that thou art most offended with thy self, for that which he is most offended with: That thou art angry with thy dis­obedient unthankful heart: That thou art even a weary of that heart that lo­veth him no more: And that it shall ne­ver please thee, till it love him better and be more desirous to please him: Tell him of thy Enemies, and crave the protection of his Love: Tell him of thy frailties, infirmities and passions, and crave not only his tender forbear­ance, but his help: Tell him that without him thou canst do nothing; and crave the Grace that is sufficient for thee, that through him that strengtheneth thee thou mayest do all things: When thou fallest, despair not, but crave his help­ing hand to raise thee. Speak to him es­pecially of the everlasting things, and thank him for his Promises, and for thy Hopes: For what thou shalt be, and have, and do among his Holy ones for ever. Ex­press thy joys in the promise of those joys; that thou must see his Glory, and love him, and praise him better than [Page 144] thou canst now desire. Begin those prai­ses, and as thou walkest with him, take pleasure in the mention of his perfections; be thankful to him and speak good of his Name: Solace thy self in remembring what a God, what a defence and portion all believers have: And in considering whither he is now conducting thee, and what he will do with thee, and what use he will make of thee forever: Speak with Rejoycing of the glory of his works, and the righteousness of his judgmen [...]s, and the holiness and evenness of his ways: Sing forth his praises with a joy­full heart, and pleasant and triumphing voice; and frown away all slavish fears, all importune malicious suggestions or doubts, all peevish hurtful nipping griefs, that would mar or interrupt the melody; and would untune or unstring a raised well composed Soul. Thy Father loveth thy very moans and Tears: But how much more doth he love thy Thanks and Praise? Or if indeed it be a Winter time, a stormy day with thee, and he seem to chide or hide his face because thou hast offended him, let the cloud that is gathered by thy Folly come down in tears, and tell him, Thou hast [Page 145] sinned against Heaven and before him, and art no more worthy to be called his Son; but yet fly not from him, but beg his pardon and the priviledges of a Servant: And thou wilt find embrace­ments, when thou fearest condemnation: and find that he is merciful and ready to forgive: Only return, and keep clo­ser to him for the time to come. If the breach through thy neglect be gone so far, as that thou seemest to have lost thy God, and to be cast off, and left forsa­ken; despair not yet; for he doth but hide his face till thou repent: He doth not forsake thee, but only tell thee what it is to walk so carelesly as if thou wouldst forsake him: Thou art faster and surer in his Love and Covenant then thou canst believe or apprehend. Thy Lord was as dear as ever to his Father, when he cryed out, My God, why hast thou forsaken me. But yet neglect him not, and be not regardless of his withdrawings and of thy loss: Lift up thy voice and cry but [ Father;] in despight of unbelief, cry out [ My Father, my Saviour, my God,] and thou shalt hear him Answer thee at last [ My Child:] Cry out [ O why dost thou hide thy face? [Page 146] and why hast thou forsaken me! O what shall I do here without thee! O leave me not, lose me not in this bowling wilderness! Let me not be a prey to any ravening beast! to my sin, to Satan, to my foes and thine!] Lift up thy voice and weep, and tell him, they are the tears and lamentation of his Child: O beg of him, that thy wander­ings and childish folly, may not be taken as acts of enmity, or at least that they may be pardoned; and though he correct thee, that he will return and not forsake thee, but still take thee and use thee as his child. Or if thou hast not words to pour out before him, at least smite upon thy breast, and though thou be ashamed or afraid to look up toward Heaven, look down and say, [ O Lord, be merciful to me a sinner,] and he will take it for an accep­table suit, that tendeth to thy pardon and justification, and will number such a sen­tance with the prayers which he cannot deny. Or if thou cry, and canst not hear of him, and hast long called out upon thy Fathers Name, and hearest not his voice and hast no return; enquire after him of those thou meetest: Ask for him of them that know him and are acquainted with his way! Make thy moan unto the watch­men; [Page 147] and ask them, where thou mayst find thy Lord. And at last he will ap­pear to thee, and find thee first, that thou mayst find him, and shew thee where it was that thou didst lose him, by losing thy self and turning from him! seek him and thou shalt find him: wait and he will appear in kindness: For he never faileth or forsaketh those that wait upon him.

This kind of Converse, O my soul, thou hast to prosecute with thy God. Thou hast also the concernments of all his servants; his aff [...]icted ones, his broken hearted ones, his diseased ones, his perse­cuted ones, to tell him of: Tell him also of the concernments of his Kingdom, the fury of his Enemies, the dishonour they cast upon his Name, the matters of his Gospel, cause and interest in the world: But still let his Righteous Judgment be remembred, and all be terminated in the glorious everlasting Kingdom.

Is it not much better thus to converse with him that I must be with for ever, a­bout the place, and the company, and work, and concernments of my perpetu­al abode, then to be taken up with stran­gers in my way, and detained by their impertinencies?

[Page 148]I have form'd my self so long in these meditations, that I will but name the rest, and tell you what I had further to have treated on, and leave the enlargement to your own meditations.

8. I have no reason to be weary of converse with God, seeing it is that for which all human converse is regardable. Converse with man is only so far desirable as it tendeth to our Converse with God: And therefore the end must be preferred before the means.

9. It is the Office of Christ, and the work of the Holy Ghost, and the use of all the means of Grace, and of all creatures, mercies and afflictions, to reduce our stray­ing souls to God, that we may converse with him and enjoy him.

10. Converse with God is most suitable to those that are so near to death; It best prepareth for it: It is likest to the work that we are next to do. We had rather when death comes, be found conversing with God then with Man: It is God that a dying man hath principally to do with: It is his judgment that he is going to; and his mercy that he hath to trust upon: And therefore it concerneth us to draw near him now, and be no strangers to him, [Page 149] lest strangeness then should be our ter­rour.

11. How wonderful a condescension is it that God should be willing to converse with me! with such a worm and sinful wretch: And therefore how unexcusa­ble is my crime, if I refuse his company, and so great a mercy!

12. Lastly, Heaven it self is but our Converse with God and his Glorified ones, (though in a more perfect manner then we can here conceive.) And there­fore our holy converse with him here is the state that is likest Heaven, and that prepareth for it, and all the Heaven that is on earth.

IT remaineth now that I briefly tell you, what you should do to attain and manage this Converse with God, in the improvement of your solitude. (For Directions in general for Walking with God, I reserve for another place.) At pre­sent let these few suffice.

Direct. 1. If you would comfortably Converse with God, make sure that you are Reconciled to him in Christ, and that he is indeed your friend and Father. Can [Page 150] two walk together except they be agreed? Can you take pleasure in dwelling with the consuming fire? or conversing with the most dreadful enemy? Yet this I must add, that every doubting or self-ac­cusing soul may not find a pretence to fly from God. 1. That God ceaseth not to be a Father when ever a fearful soul is drawn to question it or deny it. 2. That in the Universal Love and Grace of God to miserable sinners, and in the uni­versal act of conditional pardon and obli­vion, and in the offers of Grace, and the readiness of God to receive the penitent, there is Glad Tidings that should exceed­ingly rejoyce a a sinner; and there is sufficient encouragement to draw the most guilty miserable sinner to seek to God, and sue for mercy. But yet the sweetest converse is for children, & for those that have some assurance that they are children.

But perhaps you will say, that this is not easily attained: How shall we know that he is our friend?

In brief, I answer, If you are unfeigned­ly friends to God, it is because he first loved you. Prefer him before all other friends, and all the wealth and vanity of [Page 151] the world; Provoke him not by wilful­ness or neglect: use him as your best friend, and abuse him not by disobedi­ence or ingratitude; own him before all, at the dearest rates, whenever you are called to it: Desire his presence: Lament his absence: Love him from the bottom of your hearts: Think not hardly of him: Suspect him not; Misunderstand him not: Hearken not to his enemies: Receive not any false reports against him: Take him to be really better for you than all the world: Do these, and doubt not but you are friends with God, & God with you: In a word, Be but heartily willing to be friends to God, and that God should be your cheifest friend, and you may be sure that it is so indeed, and that you are and have what you desire. And then how delightfully may you converse with God!

Direct. 2. Wholly depend on the Medi­ation of Christ, the great Reconciler: Without him there is no coming near to God: But in his Beloved you shall be ac­cepted. Whatever fear of his displeasure shall surprize you, fly presently for safe­ty unto Christ: whatever guilt shall look you in the face, commit your self and [Page 152] cause to Christ, and desire him to answer for you: When the doors of mercy seem to be shut up against you, fly to him that bears the keyes, and can at any time open to you, and let you in: Desire him to an­swer for you to God, to your consciences, and against all accusers: By him alone you may boldly and comfortably converse with God: But God will not know you out of him.

Direct. 3. Take heed of bringing par­ticular Guilt into the presence of God, if you would have sweet communion with him: Christ himself never reconciled God to sin: And the sinner and sin are so nearly related, that for all the death of Christ, you shall feel that iniquity dwelleth not with God; but he hateth the works of it, and the foolish shall not stand in his sight▪ and that if you will presume to sin because you are his Children, be sure your sin will find you out. O what fears, what shame, what self-abhorrence and self-revenge will guilt raise in a penitent soul, when it comes into the light of the presence of the Lord; it will unavoidable abate your boldness and your comforts: When you should be sweetly delighting in his plea­sed face, and promised Glory, you will [Page 153] be be fooling your selves for your former sin, and ready even to tear your flesh, to think that ever you should do as you have done, and use him as you would not have used a common friend, and cast your selves upon his wrath. But an innocent soul, or pacified conscience, doth walk with God in quietness and delight, without those frowns and fears which are a taste of Hell to others.

Direct. 4. If you would comforta­bly converse with God, be sure that you bring not Idols in your hearts: Take heed of inordinate affection to any Creature. Let all things else be nothing to you, that you may have none to take up your thoughts but God. Let your Minds be further seperate from them than your Bodies: Bring not into solitude or to contempla­tion, a proud, or lustful, or covetous mind: It much more concerneth thee, what Heart thou bringest, that what Place thou art in, or what work thou art upon. A mind that is drowned in ambi­tion, sensuality or passion, will scarce find God any sooner in any wilderness than in a croud (unless he be there return­ing from those sins to God) where-ever he seeth him, God will not own and be [Page 154] familiar with so foul a soul. Seneca could say [Quid prodest totious regionis silentium, si affectus fremunt?] What good doth the silence of all the Country do thee, if thou have the noise of raging affections within?] And Gregory saith [ Qui corpore remotus vivit, &c. He that in body is far enough from the tumult of human conversation, is not in solitude, if he busie himself with earth­ly cogitations and desires: and he is not in the City that is not troubled with the tumult of worldly cares or fears, though he be pressed with the popular crouds.] Bring not thy house, or land, or credit, or carnal friend along with thee in thy heart, if thou de­sire and expect to walk in Heaven, and to converse with God.

Direct. 5. Live still by Faith; Let Faith lay Heaven and Earth as it were to­gether: Look not at God as if he were far off: set him aways as before you, even as at your right hand; Psal. 16.8. Be still with him when you awake, Psal. 139.18. In the morning thank him for your rest; and deliver up your self to his con­duct and service for that day▪ Go forth as with him, and to do his work: Do every action, with the Command of God, and the promise of Heaven before your eyes, [Page 155] and upon your hearts: Live as those that have incomparably more to do with God and Heaven, than all this world; That you may say with David, Psal. 37.25, 26. (as aforecited) Whom have I in Heaven but thee! and there is none on Earth that I desire besides thee:] And with Paul, Phil. 1.21. [ To me to Live is Christ, and to Dye is gain.] You must shut up the eye of sense (save as subordinate to Faith) and live by Faith upon a God, a Christ, and a World that is unseen, if you would know by experience what it is to be above the brutish life of sensualists, and to Converse with God. O Christian, if thou hadst rightly learned this blessed life, what a high and noble soul-conversation wouldst thou have! How easily wouldst thou spare, and how little wouldst thou miss the favour of the greatest, the pre­sence of any worldly comfort! City or Solitude would be much alike to thee, saving that the place and state would be best to thee, where thou hast the greatest help and freedom to converse with God. Thou wouldst say of human society as Seneca [Vnus pro populo mihi est, & populus pro uno: Mihi satis est unus, satis est nullus.] [One is instead of all the people to me, and [Page 156] the people as one; One is enough for me, and none is enough.] Thus being taken up with God, thou mightest live in prison as at liberty, and in a wilderness as in a City, and in a place of banishment as in thy na­tive Land: For the Earth is the Lords, and the fulness thereof: and everywhere thou mayest find him, and converse with him, and lift up pure hands unto him: In every place thou art within the sight of home; and Heaven is in thine eye, and thou art conversing with that God, in whose converse the highest An­gels do place their highest felicity and de­light.

How little cause then have all the Churches enemies to triumph, that can never shut up a true believer from the pre­sence of his God? nor banish him into such a place where he cannot have his con­versation in Heaven? The stones that were cast at holy Stephen, could not hin­der him from seeing the Heavens opened, and Christ sitting at the right hand of God. A Patmos allowed holy Iohn Com­munion with Christ, being there in the Spirit on the Lords day, Rev. 1.9, 10. Christ never so speedily and comfortably owneth his servants, as when the world [Page 157] disowneth them, and abuseth them for his sake, and hurls them up and down as the scorn and off-scouring of all. He quickly found the blind man that he had cured, when once the Jews had cast him out, Ioh. 9.35. Persecutors do but pro­mote the blessedness and exceeding joy of sufferers for Christ, Mat. 5.11.12.

And how little Reason then have Christians to shun such sufferings by unlawful means, which turn to their so great advantage? and to give so dear as the hazard of their souls by wilful sin, to escape the honour, and safety, and com­modity of Martyrdom?

And indeed we Judge not, we Love not, we [...]ive not as sanctified ones must do, if we judge not that the truest Liber­ty, and Love it not as the Best Condition, in which we may Best converse with God. And O how much harder is it to walk with God, in a Court, in the midst of sensual delights, than in a prison or wilderness, where we have none to interrupt us, and nothing else to take us up? It is our pre­possessed minds, our earthly hearts, our carnal affections and concupisence, and the pleasures of a prosperous state, that [Page 158] are the prison and the Jaylors of our souls. Were it not for these, how free should we be, though our bodies were con­fined to the straightest room! He is at Liberty that can walk in Heaven, and have access to God, and make use of all the Creatures in the world, to the promoting of this his Heavenly con­versation. And he is the prisoner whose soul is chained to flesh and earth, and confined to his lands and houses, and feedeth on the dust of worldly riches, or walloweth in the dung and filth of gluttony, drunkenness and lust: that are far from God, and desire not to be near him; but say to him, Depart from us, we would not have the know­ledge of thy ways: that Love their prisons and chains so well, that they would not be set free, but hate those with the cruellest hatred that endeavour their deliverance. Those are the poor prisoners of Satan, that have not liberty to believe, nor to Love God, nor converse in Heaven, nor seri­ously to mind or seek the things that are high and honourable: that have not liberty to meditate or pray, or seriously to speak of holy things, nor [Page 159] to love and converse with those that do so: that are tyed so hard to the drud­gery of sin, that they have not liberty one month, or week, or day, to leave it, and walk with God so much as for recreation! But he that liveth in the family of God, and is employed in at­tending him, and doth converse with Christ, and the Host of Holy ones a­bove, in reason should not much com­plain of his want of friends, or compa­ny or accommodations, nor yet be too impatient of any corporal confinement.

Lastly, be sure then most narrowly to watch your hearts, that nothing have entertainment there, which is against your Liberty of converse with God. Fill not those Hearts with worldly trash, which are made and new-made to be the dwelling place of God. De­sire not the company which would di­minish your heavenly acquaintance and correspondency. Be not unfriendly, nor conceited of a self-sufficiency; but yet beware lest under the honest inge­nuous title of a friend, a special, faith­ful, prudent, faithful friend, you should entertain an Idol, or an enemy to your Love of God, or a corrival and com­petitor [Page 160] with your highest friend: For if you do, it is not the specious title of a friend that will save you from the thorns and bryars of disquietment, and from greater troubles than ever you found from open enemies.

O blessed be that High and everlast­ing friend, who is every way suited to the upright souls! To their Minds, their Memories, their Delight, their Love, &c. By surest Truth, by fullest Goodness, by clearest Light, by dear­est Love, by firmest Constancy, &c. — O why hath my drowsie and dark­sighted soul been so seldom with him! why hath it so often, so strangely, and so unthankfully passed by, and not ob­served him, nor hearkened to his kind­est calls! O what is all this trash and trouble that hath filled my memory, and employed my mind, and cheated and corrupted my affections, while my dearest Lord hath been days and nights so unworthily forgotten, so contemptu­ously neglected, and disregarded, and loved as if I loved him not! O that these drowsie and those waking nights, those loitered, lost, and empty hours, had been spent in the humblest converse [Page 161] with him, which have been dreamed and doted away upon — now I know not what! O my God, how much wiser and happier had I been, had I rather chosen to mourn with thee, than to rejoyce and sport with any other! O that I had rather wept with thee, than laughed with the creature! For the time to come, let that be my friend, that most befriendeth my dark, and dull, and backward soul, in its undertaken progress, and heavenly conversation! Or if there be none such upon earth, let me here take one for my friend! O blot out every Name from my cor­rupted heart, which hindereth the deep­er engraving of thy Name! Ah Lord, what a stone, what a blind ungrateful thing, is a Heart not touched with celestial Love! yet shall I not run to thee, when I have none else that will know me! shall I not draw near thee, when all fly from me! When daily experience cryeth out so loud [NONE BUT CHRIST: GOD OR NOTHING.] Ah foolish Heart, that hast thought of it [Where is that place, that Cave or Desert, where I might soonest find thee, and fullest enjoy thee? [Page 162] Is it in the wilderness that thou walkest, or in the croud: in the Closet, or in the Church; where is it that I might soonest meet with God?] But alas, I now perceive, that I have a Heart to find, before I am like to find my Lord! O Loveless, Lifeless, stony heart! that's dead to him that gave it Life! and to none but him! Could I not Love, or Think, or Feel at all, methinks I were less dead than now? Less dead, if dead, than now I am alive? I had almost said [Lord, let me never Love more till I can Love thee? Nor think more on any thing till I can more willingly think of thee?] But I must suppress that wish; for Life will act: And the mercies and motions of Nature are necessary to those of Grace. And there­fore in the life of Nature, and in the glimmerings of thy Light, I will wait for more of the Celestial life! My God, thou hast my consent! It is here attest­ed under my hand: Separate me from what and whom thou wilt, so I may but be nearer thee! Let me Love thee more, and feel more of thy Love, and then let me Love or be beloved of the world, as little as thou wilt.

[Page 163]I thought self-love had been a more predominant thing: But now I find that Repentance hath its anger, its Hat­red and its Revenge! I am truly An­gry with that Heart that hath so oft and foolishly offended thee! Methinks I hate that Heart that is so cold and backward in thy love, and almost grudge it a dwelling in my breast! Alas when Love should be the life of Prayer, the life of holy Meditation, the life of Sermons and of holy Con­ference, and my soul in these should long to meet thee, and delight to men­tion thee, I straggle Lord, I know not whether! or I sit still and wish, but do not rise and run and follow thee, yea, I do not what I seem to do. All's dead, all's dead, for want of Love! I often cry, O where is that place, where the quickening beams of Heaven are warmest, that my soul night seek it out! But whether ever I go, to City or to Solitude, alas, I find it is not Place that makes the difference. I know that Christ is perfectly replenish­ed with Life and Light, and Love Di­vine: And I hear him as our Head and Treasure proclaimed and offered [Page 164] to us in the Gospel! This is thy Record, that he that hath the Son hath Life! O why then is my barren soul so empty! I thought I had long ago consented to thy offer; and then ac­cording to thy Covenant, both He and Life in him are mine! And yet must I still be dark and dead!

Ah dearest Lord, I say not that I have too long waited! but if I conti­nue thus to wait, wilt thou never find the time of Love? and come and own thy gasping worm? wilt thou never dissipate these clouds, and shine upon this dead and darkened soul? Hath my Night no Day? Thrust me not from thee, O my God! For that's a Hell, to be thrust from God. But sure the cause is all at home, could I find it out, or ra [...]her could I cure it! It is sure my face that's turned from God, when I say, His face is turned from me. But if my Life must here be out of sight, and hidden in the Root (with Christ in God,) and if all the rest be reserved for that better world, and I must here have but these small begin­nings, O make me more to Love, and long for the blessed day of thine appearing, [Page 165] and not to fear the time of my deliverance, nor unbelievingly to linger in this So­dom, as one that had rather stay with sin, then come to thee! Though sin hath made me backward to the fight, let it not make me backward to receive the Crown; Though it hath made me a loiterer in thy work, let it not make me backward to receive that wages, which thy Love will give to our par­doned, poor, accepted services. Though I have too oft drawn back, when I should have come unto thee, and wal­ked with thee in thy ways of Grace, yet heal that unbelief, and disaffection, which would make me to draw back, when thou callest me to possess thy Glory? Though the sickness and lame­ness of my soul have hindered me in my journy, yet let their painfulness help me to desire to be delivered from them, and to be at home, where (with­out the interposing nights of thy dis­pleasure) I shall fully feel thy fullest Love, and walk with thy Glorified on [...]s in the Light of thy Glory, tri­umphing in thy Praise for evermore. Amen.

[Page 166]BUT now I have given you these few Directions for the improve­ment of your solitude for converse with God, lest I should occasion the hurt of those that are unfit for the Lesson I have given, I must conclude with this Caution (which I have formerly also published,) That it is not malencholly or weak-headed persons, who are not able to bear such exercises, for whom I have written these Directions. Those that are not able to be much in se­rious solitary thoughtfulness, without confusions and distracting suggestions, and hurrying vexatious thoughts, must set themselves for the most part to those duties which are to be done in company by the help of others; and must be very little in solitary duties: For to them whose natural faculties are so diseased or weak, it is no duty, as being no means to do them the desired good; but while they strive to do that which they are naturally unable to en­dure, they will but confound and dis­tract themselves, and make themselves unable for those other duties which yet they are not utterly unfit for. To such persons therefore instead of order­ed, [Page 167] well-digested Meditations, and much time spent in secret thoughtful­ness, it must suffice that they be brief in secret Prayer, and take up with such occasional abrupter. Meditations as they are capable of, and that they be the more in reading, hearing, conference, and praying and praising God with o­thers: untill their melancholly distem­pers are so far overcome, as that (by the direction of their Spiritual Guides) they may judge themselves fit for this improvement of their Solitude.