THE COPIE OF A BARONS COURT: Newly translated by WHATS-YOV-CALL-HIM, Clerk to the same.
Printed at Helicon, beside Parnassus, and are to be sold in CALEDONIA.
ADVERTISEMENT.
THE Publisher of the following Poem is credibly inform'd that the Author thereof was the learned and facetious Mr. Patrick Anderson, Dr. of Medecine; Who, besides his other Works, both Historical and Physical, wrote a Book in latine, 8 vo. printed Edinb. 1635. intituled Grana Angelica, concerning the Nature and Use of these famous Pills, which are now commonly sold by the Name of Anderson's Pills.
BARON, BAILY, OFFICER.
*
Bail.
GOD save your worship.
*
Bar.
Welcom Baily; How
Does
Kate my Aunt, and
Will my God-son do?
What News abroad? How sells the Bear I pray?
*
Bail.
The Prices rises ev'ry Market Day.
*
Bar.
Good News y faith: Come Sirra, fill some Ale.
*
Offic.
He loves the Tongue that tells him such a Tale.
*
Bar.
Good Baillie, pull him home; It's white: I think
You are not dry, or loves not well our Drink.
*
Bail.
O Sir it's strong!
*
Bar.
And yet our Browster says,
It is a fault comportable always:
And this I think my self; For now I see
Wine is a Stranger unto each Degree.
*
Off.
And long may it be so; For We could want it.
*
Bail.
You speak the Truth; I think the Laird will grant it.
But O! the tender Stomachs are opprest
With Cruditys, and Mine among the rest.
*
Bar.
Drink
Aquavitae Baily, that's no fault;
The Sp'rit of Drink is now confin'd in Malt.
As for my self I can as well be merry
With the Bear-Pickle as the
Spanish Berry.
*
Bail.
But let me interrupt your Worship; Why
Did
Iack your Foot Man call me hastily?
*
Bar.
Some Disappointments makes me male-content,
I cannot live, and live not on my
[...]ent:
My Court and Jurisdiction is as free
As any not exceeding my Degree,
And you Sir Bailly know that I can do it,
My old Infestments lead me justly to it.
*
Bail.
Not to offend your Worship in Effect,
I dare be bold, it is your own Neglect;
[Page 4]Your Predecessors, of good Memory,
Did manage Maters with Audacity;
Your Power, Sir, is not a whit abreg'd,
Nor yet was theirs more amply priveleg'd.
*
Bar.
You're right indeed: And I forsooth resent it,
And possibly shall make some to repent it.
*
Bail.
Sir, Hold a
COVRT, that we may clearly see
Th'alledg'd Abuses of the Barony.
Go Officer, and warn the Tenents in,
And where VVe ended let Us now begin;
If with your VVorships Pleasure it could rest
To countenance the Court, your self; 'twere best.
*
Bar.
Go to, Sir Baily, for I must confess
You are sufficient for the Bussiness;
I'le to the Hunting: Hey Dogs! Hey Dogs! Hey!
Great pity were to losse so brave a Day.
BAILY, CHAMBERLAIN, CLERK,
†
Ch.
GOod morrow Baily.
†
Bail.
You're the Trout I wish'd
If for a great one I had all Day fish'd;
Whence came you last? If asked it may be.
†
Chamb.
From compassing my Masters Baronie.
†
Bail.
I cry for Mercy; I am thick of Hearing.
†
Chamb.
Sir, You may mend it, by a double Spearing.
†
Bail.
From Conquessing, I thought your Speech had been.
†
Cham.
Play on your Friends.
†
Bail.
Yet such Play has been seen;
But to the Purpose: Is your Book about you?
†
Chamb.
A
Psalm-Book Sir? Lo there is one! what doubt you
The Moon is at the Full.
†
Bail.
So may some say,
The Laird was like for to go mad the Day;
It is your Book, Man, of Recepts, I mean.
†
Chamb.
Excuse Me Sir, it was by me mista'ne;
What needs a Book of that Kind or Condition?
I have Discharges of my Intromission.
†
Bail.
[Page 5]
That's not the Matter: I would only see
The Count of Rest, if any Rests there be.
The Laird complains, and hath some cause I trow,
At
Whitsunday his VVorship hath ado,
And yet his Mails and Dutys come not in
Till that the
Kalends of the next year
[...]in.
This stains his Credit, damnifies his State,
And this Abuse is bred but of the late.
†
Chamb.
The Roomes are rental'd to so high Avail,
The Tenents termly cannot pay their hail:
The bygone years (you know Sir) have been ill.
†
Bail.
They do not so (you'll grant) continue still.
†
Chamb.
I cannot help't: I poyn'd, arrest, remove,
And all I do is for the Lairds Behoove.
†
Bail.
But give me leave, he much condemns your Sleuth.
†
Chamb.
You jest I hope: I pray Sir tell the Treuth?
‖
Bail.
And adds this more (for He envies your pelf)
Indeed He could be Chamberlain himself:
‖
Chamb.
Good CHAMBERLAIN y Faith! Ev'n let him try
If He can gain more by that Craft nor I.
‖
Bail.
Lend Him but twenty Pieces, I'le be plain
Ye shall be Friends yet or the Morn again.
‖
Chamb.
He's hungry: But my self shall never fill him;
Pay my Advancements, take my Office till him.
‖
Clerk
Ye're Gentlemen of great Experience,
I humbly would intreat your Patience;
I wonder oft at one thing; That's to see
Such Alterations in this poor Countrie.
This Gentleman, whose Court We are to hold,
His Father conquest: But this Man hath sold;
Yet at his Death he left his Living free,
And ten for one, He keept in Familie,
Brave Gentlemen, with double Horse and Boys,
[Page 6]He fill'd the Causey with compleet convoys.
His Son hath but a Foot-Man and a Page,
To whom he pays but little or no wage,
And if He rid
[...] to any publick place,
His Train is packt up in a leathern Case.
‖
Chamb.
It's good to have the Grace of God ye know,
But here I halt, and let my Passion go
‖
Bail.
Good Chamberlain, this Text you should refer
For to be handled by the Minister:
VVe'll go no higher: Clerk but since you speer
The cause of this great alteration here;
I will not undertake to tell you all.
But some that seems to be m
[...]st principall,
This Gentleman of whom we now discourse,
(For I have ever known him from his Nurse)
When that his Father yeelded up the Gh
[...]st,
He was of Age but fifteen years at most;
Then he began to rattle and to reel,
And kick'd against the Colledge with his Heel;
Horse, Hawks, and Dogs, with Guns, and such Munition,
Began to get his Morning Repetition.
And thus he liv'd till he was twenty
Year,
His Tutors found his Pastime was too dear,
They did resolve to send him unto
France,
To learn to parle, handle Armes and dance,
But what a Rank this rulelesse youth keept there
VVill now be seen upon his son and heir.
He salted to the Rigs with Charges vain,
No Rain that falls can make them fresh again.
Lady, Baily, Chamberlain, Clerk, Officer.
‖
Off.
MADAM, the Members of the Court are met,
All is not right, the Chamberlain doth fret.
‖
Lady
Where are they now?
‖
Off.
below into the Hall.
‖
Lady
[Page 7]
Incontinent I will go see them all.
‖
Bail.
God save your Ladyship.
‖
Lady
And you Sir Baily,
The Laird ha
[...]h won, and you must pay the Failzie,
‖
Bail.
VVhat is the Matter?
‖
Lady
I did lay a Crown
You should not come before the Day at Noon.
‖
Bail.
But I durst lay the best Ox in my Plough,
Madam your Tenents think it soon enough.
‖
Lady
Good Baily, Fleg them, fleg them, fleg them Thieves,
They multiply upon us termly grieves;
It
[...]s
Lambmass now, and yet we want our Ferm,
My husband bought a fleet horse at the Term,
And I my self did se
[...]l a score of
Hoggs
To buy three couple of these
English Doggs,
In case the Laird with
Caption were prest,
H
[...] may hunt on to
Berwick with the best
‖
Bail.
God shield your Ladieship but too much Cares.
‖
Lady
I love not Hunting that brings home no Hares.
‖
Bail.
The Gentleman is generously dispos'd,
You need not think all that's in hazard loos'd.
‖
Lady
This is a Fault remeediless in Men,
VVhich you sir baily perfectly do ken;
Find Me, 'mongst twenty, one in all this Life
That will take Councel from his wedded wife.
Though Women be not edutat at Schools
I'm sure they are not all created Fools.
To make him free, I will'd him sell a Town,
Tho' of the worth he would give som
[...]what down;
It's misery to see a man so set,
To rack his Rental, and obscure his Debt;
This is my Verdict till the Day I die,
A Man hath no more Rent, nor he hath free.
The Chamberla
[...]n I trow is of my Mind;
‖
Chamb.
I never think to meddle in that kind.
*
Lady
[Page 8]
I hope directly I did never wrong you.
*
Chamb.
I'le shift or one: Hereafter part among you.
*
Bail.
Courage Madam, redeem the Time bygone,
There's Earth eneugh to build the Dyke upon.
You have a Son, a Son of Expectation,
A braver
Youth is not in this our Nation.
Descended of the best of
BARONS Blood,
His Tocher yet may make all matters good.
*
Lady
And mary with his equals too?
*
Bail.
No, no;
Your Ladyship did not hear Me say so.
Go match Him with some wealthy Merchants Child,
So that the VVench be beautifull and mild;
Thus shall you have some twenty-thousand Pound.
VVhich will relieve the burden of the Ground.
*
Lady
That were the path-way (God forbid) to wrong us,
There's too much else of
Burgess-Blood among us.
Away with all that's got with Perjury,
Light weights, false Measures, and with Usury;
E're I disgrace his Parentage a Jot,
I'le rather sell if 'twere untill my Coat.
*
Bail.
I must confess, He is a lusty Lad,
But Money now is ill for to be had.
*
Lady
I scorn that ever my Posterity
Degener should from true Gentility.
*
Bail.
Gentility is nothing else, Madam,
But Wealth continued in an House or Name;
Empires beginning had, and Endings too.
So hath the Race of ancient Barons now.
Fatalitys are sometimes so prepar'd,
That Laird turns no man, Merchant turns a Laird.
Barons, you see, of singularity
For Means do mix with Popularity.
*
Lady
We will advise.
*
Bail.
It's good to advise indeed,
*†*
ANGELS will breed you an immortal Seed. *†* i. e.
Gold.
[Page 9]BARON, LADY, BAILY, CLERK, OFFICER, TENENTS.
*
Off.
SIr Baily, all the Tenents are conveen'd.
*
Bail.
Clerk fence the Court.
*
Ten.
The great God be our Friend,
For any thing that we can see or say
No Mercy is for none of Us this Day.
†
Clerk,
Silence: I fence, and I forbid in plain,
In the Behalf of our dread Soveraign,
And in the Name of the right honourable
The Laird and Baily, sitting at this Table;
That none presume to speak, Tho' for a Friend,
Unless that Leave be asked and obteen'd
†
Bail.
Go forward quickly, and read on the Rolls,
That We may know the Rest of Farn-Years Bolls.
†
Clerk,
Iohn Petersen, Iohn Paterson,
Iohn Dennison, Iohn Davison,
Tom Taylor, and his Brother,
Will Waker and his Mother,,
The o
[...]d Good Wife, and her Son
Gibbie,
Iohn Iohnson, and stin
[...]ing
Tibbie,
The over town, and nether-town,
The wester-town, and cotter-town,
The Foul-Foord, and the Miln-town,
Brank
[...]ornent him, and the Hiltown.
The Mutton-Hole, and reck thou there,
The windy-Walls, and Whissell-Bare.
†
Off.
They are all present.
†
Ten.
Here Sir Baily, Here,
We cannot run no faster to repeer.
†
Bail.
Iohn Davison, com tell Me what's your rest
For you are one I know can pay it best.
†
Io. Davison,
Rest said you Bialy: Marry God be lo'ed.
My Neighbours kens I get but little o'ed,
†
Bail.
Behold that Villain rightly understands,
And yet unrightly answers my Demands,
[Page 10]I must speak
Scots, Swingeor, let it be shawen
Into the Court, what thou art justly awn,
†
Iohn Davison,
My awen, I thank you little or nothing,
Was ever mine since you began to reign.
†
Bail.
Gods pity, how can flesh and blood abide him▪
The Rascall has so many holes to hide him.
†
Off.
The Laird is lighted, for it's more nor Noon,
And ask'd at Me if that the Court was d
[...]ne.
†
Bail.
Intreat his Worship humbly to
[...]e in,
He's come in time, I pray thee fellow
[...].
Your Worship's wellcome, I have
[...] full neer,
Your Bail
[...]; Sir, I think this twenty year,
And yet such Knav'ry did I
[...]
Under Pretext of plain Simpli
[...]i
[...]ie;
Iohn Davison as each man hears and sees,
He cuts me off with
Am
[...]i
[...]ologies.
†
Io. Davison,
I
[...] a boll? or yet a Peck? No, no!
I rather baily brake my Leg in two;
God bless the Laird! I trow his Worship knaws,
I am a man that hath no Happer-Gaws.
To tell you Sir the clipped Veritie,
I had a
Stagg, a bonie beast to see,
Our good young Master, the young Laird I mean,
In a good time, He coft him heer yestreen;
Whose Price he said his Father would allow,
And this compleets my bygone Mail
[...]s, I trow.
‖
Bar.
Pass from him baliy, for this time, I swear
If that I chance to live another year
I'le teach them better manners. Clerk, call on;
‖
Lady,
A word my Heart, you's go again anone.
‖
Off.
behold the Ladys tender Love:
I'le lay
She's fear'd her Son shall get a Blow to Day.
*
Bail.
[Page 11]
We will be doing till the Laird return,
Let them make Moan who have best Cause to mourn.
Tom Tailour, answer quickly and compear,
What are you resting for your bygone year?
‖
Tom Ta:
At Pasch I lent the Lady twenty pound,
In payment of the Duty of the Ground.
Be
[...]ore you all in publick I protest,
I owe no more, and this compleats my Rest.
†
Bail,
Call for the Laird, I do not understand
This form of payment that's from hand to hand.
*
Lady,
Go Officer, round in the Bailies Ear,
That he would pass from poor
Tom Tayler there,
*Bail,
It shall be so,
Will Waker, what say you,
It's not your fashion to advance I trow.
*
W. Wa.
God help me Sir: I cannot well deny,
And ye
[...] I have my Summer Meal to buy.
‖
Bail.
Go Off
[...]cer, and poynd his house with speed,
He's not so poor as he doth peep indeed.
I mov'd the Laird to give him something down,
Yet notwithstanding he will play the Lown.
Call on the Tennents of old
Whissel-bare,
How now? I think I see none of them there:
Cause note them absent.
Windy-walls compear,
What are ye resting for the foresaid year?
*
Tenn.
More nor our room can pay, as you well ken,
If you exact't, we are but herried men.
‖
Bail.
I cannot let these crafty Villains pass,
I'le tell you Clerk the story as it was,
The Laird that's dead, a Baron of good worth.
Whose Conscience did bear his Credit forth,
In all his Conquesses, and in this too,
This Town I mean, which they do labour now,
[Page 12]The same Companions did give up that day
The Rental, which they now refuse to pay.
Go Officer, and poind them, Man by Man,
I'le meet their craft the best way that I can.
*
Bar,
I'm come again to see how matters falls.
*
Bail.
VVe're at the Tennents of the Windie-walls.
*
Tenn.
The
Windie-walls, a place and name most fit,
And so is seen on us poor men in it.
*
Bar.
I know your shifts, so did my Father too.
‖
Tenn.
VVe're in your will, do what you list to do.
‖
Bar.
It's notour, that I lent you money here,
To pay your debts, and pay a stronger Feet?
I'm born to set you Land, so that you pay,
But not to entertain you tho' I may.
‖
Bail:
Call on the Tenents of the Over-town.
‖
Ten.
Here's our Discharges Bailie.
Bail.
Lay them down,
They rest nothing indeed.
Bar.
Go take them in,
And with the best Ale roundly pack their skin:
These are the Lads that I may lippen till,
Go to your Dinners, Eat and drink your fill.
*
Off.
The rest, Sir Bailie, have Discharges too.
‖
Bail.
That likes me well, we have the less ado▪
Unlaw the absents, and see that ye poind
The Tenents resting, as you was enjoyn'd.
*
Clerk.
Sir Bailie, please, you have not ended all,
There are some bills yet of complaint to call.
‖
Bail.
Be short then Clerk, I cannot stay, say on,
*
Clerk.
Iohn Dunkison against Iohn Davidson.
*
Bail.
That
Iohn Davidson he is a pakie Knave,
He doth molest us more than all the lave.
†
Io. Da.
I never had a pack in all my life,
But one, I wasted wooing of my VVise.
†
Bail.
Your VVorship hears, who can abide his mocks?
†
Bar.
Go Officer and put him in the Stocks.
‖
Clerk,
[Page]
As also Baily, here poore
Maggie Beans
Upon
Will Waggrels heavily compleans.
‖
Off.
That is a wonder, ask at
Sandy Sim,
For she did on
[...]y love
Iohn Dick and him.
‖
Bail.
What is the matter? Quickly Me [...]g say on.
‖
Maggie Beans,
Will Waggrels is the man I plean upon,
He promisd me good
Bear to sow indeed,
Yet he conceiv'd me sir, with rotten seed,
Hold you that reason Baily?
‖
Bail.
No:
It is a common cause, none wi
[...]l say so.
VVhat say you
Will?
‖
Will Waggr.
I swear by
Saint Muff
In all my Stack I had n
[...] better stuff.
‖
Bail.
VVithout all question you must pay her Loss.
‖
W. Wag.
I'le do no less, because I am her Goss.
‖
Lady,
Now for my Interest Baily I compeer,
VVe have a kid Thief to our webster heae,
A greater Knave lives not I think nor He,
Cause punish him and that exemplarly.
*
Web
[...]er,
Baily! Now for the love of God but hear Me.
†
Bail.
VVhat would you say? Stand by let him come near me:
†
Webst.
It's not so much for any Imputation,
The Lady hath unto my Occupation,
As for my Daughter, who but went away,
Out of her service the Last
Whitsunday,
VVho at her going, when she crav'd her Fee,
The Lady lockt a gown up privily,
VVhich was into my Daughters Keeping, so
Her Fee thus poynded, she got leave to go:
Judge you sir Baily, for I cannot read,
If this be not a crying sin indeed.
*
Bail.
If you be true, I think Madam you wrong him.
*
Lady,
I know as much, sir Baily, as would hang him.
†
Bail.
[Page 14]
Into this Ground he shall no longer sit,
Wherefore I warn you presently to flit.
†
Webst.
Must it be so, for any thing
I see,
My Bounty's like unto my Daughters Fee.
†
Off.
Go get you gone in time, if you be wise,
Lest you pass to the Knowledge of a Size.
†
Bail.
To speak the truth, good Servants now are Scant,
Their Fees likewise are grown exorbitant.
†
Clerk,
It is no marvell, sir, tho it be so,
‖
Bar.
Tell me the reason, Clerk, before you go.
‖
Clerk.
Where Barons wont to keep some four, some three,
They snedded have such Superfluity;
One serves the Cure perhaps of little Valour,
The Laird his Jackman is the Ladys Tailor,
The Stewart, Cook, and Browster now are one,
All gallant Fellows to the warrs are gone;
In one mans person this pluralitie
Makes men indeed to crave a larger Fee;
And Ladys Gentle-women (as they call them)
A world of Gifts must now a Days befall them
To sow, to spin, weave
Pearline, and knit shanks,
To page the Laird, and win the Stewarts Thanks:
She must be rare in all these handy trads,
Cast off her Gown, and syne go make the beds;
At all Occasions she must still be ready,
Or else she is not meet to serve my Lady.
†
Bail.
Clerk, by your Leave, I'le teach the Laird a Trick,
Requests you see instead of presse go thick,
Offer unto some Captain two or three
Of
Yeomen, men within the Barony,
By Violence e're they aboord be brought,
They'll rather stay and serve the Laird for nought.
†
Ten.
[Page 15]
Baily, Forsooth your Counsell ay was good,
An heavy Curse we give you to conclude.
†
Bail.
Your VVorship will take you for Me I trow,
†
Bar.
Such Casualitys belong to you.
†
Bail.
Sir, I request you for the Clerk provide them.
†
Clerk
Nay, rather, sir, betwixt you two divide them.
†
Lady,
Clerks ay were Knaves: Take up your books, and gilt,
You fash the Laird, your Dinner, sir, is spilt.
†
Baron,
Up stay the Pleugh, and let Us kill a Mouse,
I and the baily must have one Carouse.
Vivet post Funera VIRTVS.
FINIS.