Poor Robin, 1683

A PROGNOSTICATION For the Year of our Lord God 1683.

Containing the Vulgar Notes for this present year; times when to marry a good Wife if you can light of her; a description of the three Eclip­ses of this year, two of the Moon, and one of the Sun, when they happen, and what is signified by them; a more accurate account of the four quar­ters of the year, than hath hitherto been given; a very useful Scheme, Ass trologically and poeti­cally describing and prognosticating many weigh­ty matters; a description of the twelve Signs of the Zodiack, and over what persons they have dominion; with several other things, which when you have read them over, you will know as well as I.

The one and twentieth Impression.
This is the summ of our Prognostications,
Which we do send abroad unto the Nation;
And for the truth thereof, we do averr,
(As Papists of the Pope) we cannot err;
For those who think themselves herein are bitten,
May blame their faults for what herein is written.

LONDON, Printed for the Company of Stationers, 1683.

Vulgar Notes for this present Year 1683. ac­cording to the Julian or English account.

  • The Golden Number— 12
  • Cycle of the Sun— 12
  • Do [...]nical Letter — G
  • Roman Indiction —6
  • Epact — 12
  • Number of Direction — 18
  • Sundays after Epiphany — 4
  • Septuagesima Sunday Feb.— 4
  • Ashwednesday Feb. — 21
  • Easter Day April — 8
  • Rogation Sunday May — 13
  • Ascension Day May— 17
  • Whitsunday May — 27
  • Sundays after Trinity — 25
  • Advent Sunday December — 2

Times prohibiting Marriage.

MArriage comes in on the 13 of January, and by Sep­tuagesima Sunday it is out again, until the Octaves of Easter, or day after Low-Sunday; at which time it comes in again, and goes no more out till Rogation Sun­day: for Rogamen vetitat; from whence it is forbidden a­gain untill Trinity Sunday; from thence it is unforbidden till Advent Sunday, when it goes out, and comes not in again until S. Hilary, or 13 of January next following.

In thy choice of a Wife have a special care, for Wo­men are

The best of Goods, or else the worst of Evils;
Glorious Angels, or else cursed Devils.

THE bright Planet Venus is our evening star from the beginning of the year to the 24 of January, from thence she becomes our Morning star to the 27 of Novem­ber, [Page]and from thence an Evening Star to the end of the year.

This with the other Stars are twinkling eyes,
That with disordered order gild the Skies.

Of the Eclipses this present year. 1683.

THIS year produceth three Eclipses, one of the Sun, and two of the Moon; that of the Sun (if the air be clear) will be visible in our English Horizon, those of the Moon, let the air be how it will, yet will they not be seen in England. However, having three E­cl [...]pses, there will be ground work enough of them for Ass trologers, thereby to calculate the fates of Kingdoms and Commonwealths; as also of several other things wor­thy a serious mans consideration, as when it is least dan­gerous for a Master to kiss his Maid for fear of being e­spied by her Mistress; whether it be best to do it behind a Door like J D or invite her to an Ale-house▪ to eat Cakes and drink Ale like R [...]H By them also may be predicted when honesty will come again in fashion; whe­ther a young Wenches Maidenhead be within her or with­out her; and it within her, she be not without her Maid­enhead; whether a blind Man can see best with Specta­cles or without; if Pancakes may be [...]at lawfully on a­ny other day than on Shrove-monday or Shrove tuesday; whether my Lady may eat Butter with her Eggs, or have her Posset turn'd with Lemon or Ale; whether a Lawyer with a safe Conscience may take double sees; and ma­ny other weighty matters fit for an Almanack makers observation.

But to come to the purpose, and tell you when these Eclipses will happen; for if we do not that, it is to no more purpose to tell ye the number of them, than it is to think to find truth in a Bawd, or honesty in a Horse-cour­ser; though such things are not impossible, but very rare.

The first then of these is a Solar Eclipse, or (to speak to the capacity of my Country Reader) an Eclipse of the Sun, which will happen on the 17 Day of January, about 13 minutes past three of the Clock in the afternoon. It is [Page]in the eighth degree of Aquarius, and if the Air be se­rene and clear, it may be seen with us in England; there will be about 9 Digits or parts of the Suns body obscured, say some of our Ass-trologers: Argel says, that there will be 10 parts and a half, or 10 Digits and 30 minutes of his body Eclipsed; now which of them says truest, for my own part I cannot tell, for as yet I am not thoroughly convinced of the difference betwixt an untruth and a lie.

Dragmatus the Diagotian Stigmatist in his treatise of the antiquity of Shapparoons and careless Bawds, says, that when such differences arise betwixt Ass-trologers, it signi­fies, that the price of Sprats, Jerusalem Artichoaks, and Holland Cheese will be very much encreased; the like di­vision happened in the beginning of the Rump Rebellion, when the scarcity grew so great that the Brethren Botch­ers, and such poor zealous Saints as earn'd but five groats a Week under a stall, by singing Psalms and drawing up of holes, being they could not live of their vocation, were fain to leave it off, and turn Teachers and Prophets.

But to proceed, the second Eclipse will be of the Moon, and happens on the first day of February about three of the Clock in the afternoon; but it being then an hour and 44 Minutes before the setting of the Sun, the reful­gency of that Superiour Planet, will cause that the de­fect of the Moon cannot be seen in our English Horizon. This Eclipse is celebrated in the twenty third degree of Le [...], or the Lyon, a martial warlike sign, and may pro­duce some drunken brawls and quarels in those Inns and Alehouses who have the signs of the white or red Lyon.

This being a feminine Eclipse, shall have great influence over womens tongues, insomuch that some Women shall have more and stranger tongues than ever Babel had to tell its ruins; viz, a lying tongue, a lisping tongue, a long tongue, a lawless tongue, a loud tongue, and a liquo­rish tongue, but never a true one. Jupiter domineers in the tenth house, this will cause great ambition, some men shall be ambitious to get them handsome Wives, and those Wives shall be ambitious to make their Husbands Cuck­olds. [Page]olds. This ambition shall also be predominant in vulgar and inferiour spirits, like Herostratus who to get himself a name, burnt with wild-fire the famous Temple of Diana at Ephesus, accounted one of the seven wonders of the World. Nay, I knew one so desirous of this ridiculous fame, that he caused his name to be inscribed on a small-Bear Pitcher, which caused my Muse, to correct this idle folly of his, thus to express her self:

How greedy some men are of idle fame,
That they on Pitchers will inscribe their name,
As if the Hangman should ambitious be,
That he is Headsman of his faculty;
Vintners, their names on Wine-pots do appear,
But his ambition only was small Beer;
Such as your Plough-boys use, when in that case
They to their Teams do whistle Chevy-chase;
Alas, poor fool, 'twill do thee greater fame,
In Ballad-rhime to eternise thy name.

The third and last of this years Eclipses, will be like­wise of the Moon, and will happen on the 28 day of Ju­ly, about eight of the clock in the forenoon, in the 14 de­gree of Aquarius. Now this Eclipse cannot possibly be seen of us in England, because at that time the earth in­terposeth betwixt the body of the Sun and her, and the earth not being so transparent as Crystal, you can­not see thorough it, although you have on your nose a pair of spectacles.

Now to give you my Ass-trological judgment on this E­clipse, it portends a great deluge and inundation of Kna­very, new inventions and stratagems for the further exal­tation of Legerdemaine in cheating, and that to such a high pitch of perfection, that were Mall Cutpurse, alias Mrs. Frith alive, she would be quite put down in her own art, as a Bucket is put down a Well, or a School-boy puts down his Hose when he is about to be whipt. These kind of fellows

D [...] live as merry as the days are long,
In scorn of Tyburn, or the Ropes ding dong;
But often times it is their hap to wear,
A riding knot an inch below their ear;
When as they come to take their last degree.
Newgate their Hall and made at Tyburn free.

Venus is in her exaltation, this Prognosticate, great la­sciviousness, dancing naked, (let some people beware, I do not put down their names in my next years Alma­nack) some shall be very forward to kiss other mens Wives in private, that their own Wives may not see them; and their Wives shall [...]e as forward to kiss other men, so that it be not in sight of their husbands; this in­deed is a good way to avoid jealousie, but in my opinion far better is the custom used in West friezland, of which Mr. Moryson in his Itinerary or Book of Travels, thus writes.

I remember (saith he) that having been at Sea in a great storm of wind, thunder, and lightning, about the month of November, being very weary and said; I landed a [...] Do [...]kam in West friezland, where at that time some young Gentle­women of that Country, passing thorough that City towards Groning, according to the fashion of those parts, we did eat at an ordinary Table, and after supper sate down by the five, drinking one to the other; where after our storm at Sea, the cust [...]me of Friezland d [...]d s [...]mewhat recreate us: For if a Woman drink to a Man the custom is, that she must bring him th [...] cup and kiss h m, he not moving his feet nor scarcely his head to meet her; and Men d [...]inking to them are tyed to the like by custome A st [...]anger w [...]uld at first sight marvel at this custome, and more especially that their very Husbands should take it for a disgrace, and be apt to quarrel with a Man for omitting of this ceremony towards their Wives, yet they interpret this omission as if they judged their Wives to be so foul or infamous, or at least base, as they thought them un­worthy of that courtesie. This custome [...]s like to our drink­ing of a Health with a Gun amongst us in England.

In this year also there will happen in the Months of Ja­nuary and May, two eminent Conjunctions of Saturn and Jupiter, the two superiour Planets in the fiery sign Leo, and these are the Conjunctions of Heaven; but we [Page]shall have more malevolent Conjunctions on Earth; as when an Extortioner and a Broaker are in Conjunction to cheat men of their Estates, the one hunts for the prey, the other seises it, and both devour it. In respect of these our Country cheats are nothing comparable: He who in the Country commences Doctor in Knavery, is in the City but a Freshman or Sophister.

Craft there, may here again be set to School,
A Country knave oft proves a City fool.

Two more very eminent Conjunctions will operate this year, viz. a Conjunction betwixt Rogues and Whores, and a Conjunction betwixt Cut purses and Pick pockets, this will produce great profit to Chirurgeons, as as also to Jack Ketch the Squire of the Hempen noose,

Who by his art will give them such a check,
They shall be hanged all but head and neck.

Of the four Quarters of the Year,

and first of the Spring

The Spring Quarter beginneth always on the 10 Day of March, though many times you may feel Winter still at your fingers ends, when the frost and snow putteth you in mind to make use of your Gloves; yet however Ass­trologers will have it to begin then [...]ecause at that time the Sun entereth into the first point of Aries, making the Days and Nights equal, twelve hours wherein to work, and twelve hours to lye a Bed in.

In this Quarter if you walk abroad the Fields, you may hear both the Nightingal and the Cuckow sing; and if you be a married man, you may judge which of them is the pleasantest musick. In this quarter also will be a great cry about London streets of Macker [...]l, and they are very good victuals if they be well butter'd. Veal and Lamb will be now in season, and men shall be much addicted to the drinking of Coffee, otherwise called by the name of Ninny broth, sold at the Turks head in Piss­pot-lane; where also is sold divers other liquors, viz. Tea, and Aromatick for the sweet tooth'd Gentlemen; Be­tony [Page]and Rosade for the addle headed Customer, Back-re­cruiting Chocalet for the Consumptive Gallant, Hereford-shire Redstreak made of rotten Apples at the Three-Cranes, true Brumswick Mum brew'd at Saint Katherines, and Ale in penny Mugs not so big as a Taylors thimble.

This is the most pleasant Quarter of all the four, both for the temperateness of the Weather, the wholesome­ness of the Air, and the delightfulness of the Fields. In it the aged feel a kind of youth, and youth the spirit full of life: The Beggars do now begin their perambula­tion, invited thereunto by the Musick of the woody Choristers; and the Merchant setteth forth on long voy­ages, to bring home Commodities from remote Countrys:

Crossing the torrid and the frozen Zone,
To bring commodities to England home:
Midst Rocks and swallowing Gulphs their way is made,
For to enrich themselves by gainful Trade.

Summer.

Summer, the second Quarter of the year, beginneth on the 11 th Day of June, and comes after the Spring, as green Pease come after Mackarel, or a great Belly after Marriage. This Quarter is so hot that it makes the Coun­try man leave of his Jerkin, and young men and maids swear at making of H [...]y: the fat Consciences of divers men shall be melted away into nothing: nor shall the Watermen need to fear the Thames being frozen over all this Quarter. The fleas and flys shall be very numerous, and Gulls and Woodcocks shall swarm about the streets thicker than Butterflies at Christmas.

This Quarter will be very hot, which will cause peo­ple to be very thirsty, so that there shall be great em­ployment for Noggins, Whiskins, Piggins, Grinzies, Tankards, and Cans from a Pottle to a Pint, from a Pint to a Gill: also of Black Jacks and Bombards much used at Court, which when the French men first saw, they report­ed at their return into their Country, That the English men drunk out of their Boots. But let me advise thee this Quar­ter to have a special care of two things, excessive Drink­ing, and extreme Wenching.

Doat neither upon Women, nor on Wine,
For to thy hurt th [...] both alike incline:
Venns thy strength and Bacchus with his sweet
And pleasant Grapes debilitates thy feet:
Blind love will blabb what he in secret did,
In giddy wine there's nothing can be hid;
When thou with both, or either art possest,
Shame, Honesty, and Fear, all fly thy brest:
In Fetters Venus keep, Gives Bacchus ty'd,
Lest by their free gifts thou beest damnified.
Ʋse Wine for thi [...]st, Venus for lawful seed,
To pass those limits, may thy danger breed.

This Quarter continues from the 11 th of June, all hot July and fruitful August, till the 12 th of September, when the Days and Nights will be again of equal length.

Autumn.

AƲrumn, which by some learned Antiquaries is de­rived from Apple time, is the third Quarter of the Year, and beginneth on the 12 Day of September, the Sun then entering the Equinoctial Sign Libra; and now the Days grow shorter than the Nights, and the wea­ther cooler than before, therefore now the Body is in a fit temper for a glass of good wine, be it either Red. White, Claret, Granes, High Country, Malligo, Charnio, Sherry, Ganary, Palerno, Frontiniack Peeter-see-mee, Vino deriba dania, Bastard, Raspis, Tent, Alligant, Melnisee; Muscadine, Rhenish or Backrag: Or if it be Wine of the Vintners own making, as Ippocras White or Red, Boxt Alligant with Sugar and Eggs, Stitch-broth brew'd with Rosewater [...] Sugar, Burn'd Sack, Mull'd Wine, Tomlons, Balderdash, &c. any of these may serve a single person, and all of them content a great Company.

As for the temper of this Quarter, it is like to be as were Autumns in former years; Nightingals shall sing. Cocks crow, Kine lowe, Sheep bleate, Sparrows chirp, and Dogs bark as they used to do: If there be store of Apples growing, there will be great probability of much Cider to be made; and plenty of Nuts prognosticates [Page]plenty, of Bastards, occasioned by young Men and Lasses meeting in the Woods to gather them.

For there is few what e're they be,
But-yield to opportunity.

With the end of this Quarter endeth the Pride of Sum­mer, the Earth instead of a Mantle of Green, then put­ting on a Vest of Snow.

The Fields are now bereaved of their splendor,
Which lately were as brave as Owen-Glender
A Prince of Wales, his Countrys Defender;
Who of their Priviledges was so tender,
That he his valour thereunto would render,
And of his Countries freedom be a mender,
But was orethrown, and so became its ender.

This Quarter continues to the 11 of December, and then comes in cold shivering Winter, which makes men of all perswasions to turn Quakers. Of this third Quar­ter of the Year thus writes the Poet:

The Evening of the Year, when the thresht sheaf
Loseth its grain, and every Tree its leaf;
The Choristers o'th Wood do cease their Notes
And stately Forrests don their yellow coats.

Winter

Winter the last and worst Quarter of all the four, because it consumes what was gotten in the former three; begins December the 11. the Sun then entering into Capricorn, making the shortest day to all on this fide the Æquator, and so by consequence the longest Night. Should we now P [...]nosticate hot soultry Weather, we might chance to [...] [...]ar out in our Prognostications as was the Quaker when his Wife [...]ook him kissing his Maid, she having on her Dames Wastecoat, which made the Q [...]ker thus to excuse himself to his Wife, that he was mistaken, For that Hagar had gotten on Saralis royment; but on the contrary, should we predict Frost, Snow, Hail, and cold weather, it would be as fit for the season as a Pancake for Shrove­tuesday, a Tansy for Easter, a Morris for May-day, a minc'd Rye for Christmas, a Candle for the Candlestick, a Nail [Page]for the hole or a Nuns lips for a Fryers mouth.

Now frost doth cast an icie weam
Ʋpon the Lakes and Crystal stream,
And every honey-headed twig
Wears his Snowy Periwig.

Now men drink Ale by the fires side, which shall make them have all the Coat colours of a Drunkard, viz. san­guine, purple, crimson, copper, and carnation in their countenances: but this will cost money, of which if they be without, they must (if they can) borrow money of a pawn of wax and parchment.

But of few men you now can coin command,
Ʋnless it be upon a tye of land.

Four sorts of Knaves shall be much employed this Quar­ter, viz. the Knave of Hearts; the Knave of Spades the Knave of Clubs, and the Knave of Diamonds; and a great many cheating Knaves shall be employed in the u­sing of them; but there are Knaves of all sorts, as there are Jades of all colours; and he that rises be times and walks London Streets a whole Day, 'tis a thousand pound to a Nu [...]-shell but he may chance to meet with one of them.

For though the Country be not wholly free,
Yet there's no doubt some Knaves i' th' City be.

This cold comfordess Quarter lasts three Months viz. most part of snowy December, all cold January and dirty February, and some part of blustering March, during which time the Sun passes through the three Celestial signs of Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces; or if you will, the Goat, the Tankard bearer and Fishes, and then enters into the Equinoctial Sign Aries.

That pleasant time of year when balmy showers,
Deck the soft breast of fragant Meads with Flowers.
ENdy mion that had Luna 'bout the middle,
Could none of all her mysteries unriddle;
Like to this Scheme, wherein you may behold
Such things as were by any other told;
The Ass-trological Jim-crack or fortune-telling Scheme.
And though some say, that we may see as far
Into a nether Milstone as a Star,
Yet i'le maintain that all our Prophecies
Are either very true, (or arrant lies.)
Now though we write not with a beam of Noon,
Nor have no Letter from the man i'th Moon;
Yet i'le affirm that our intelligence
As true as theirs that say they hav't from thence.
Next though that I do here twelve houses name,
I nere had foot of land within the same;
And should I want a House to keep me dry,
For all these twelve, I in the streets might lye:
They in that case do stand in little stead,
Yet each of them a house is o're our head;
'Tis true that they are houses in the Air,
And though we know their Signs, we can't come there:
But my predictions better to disclose,
I'le leave off Verse, and turn my Pen to Prose.

Jupiter is Lord of the tenth House, this Prognosticates ill luck for Usurers, when their Debtors break, and they for grief thereof hang themselves. Venus is in her exaltations, this is as plain as the nose on a mans face that Beer will be but two pence a Flaggon; for though Malt should be dear, yet the Brewers have a knack to make it so much the smaller. Mars is sextile in the fi­ery Trigon, Lo ye now, if some Women be not proud I never saw the like on't. Sol is retrograde, good wits will be applauded more than rewarded, and Canary will be in higher esteem than small Beer. The Moon is in a Trine with Venus, Milk will be apt to be burnt to, to the great endangering of making good Possets. Mercury is well po­sited, therefore drink Brandy and it will make you piss clear. About the Dog days Saturn is in opposition to Venus, when it will be naught to get Children, because they will be apt to have ill-favour'd faces, as the learned Spencer hath it in his Fairy Queen.

— Ʋnder ill disposed Skies,
When sullen Saturn sits i'th house of obloquies.

Mars in the house of Sagittarius signifies a great year of fruit, that Apples will be plentifuller than Oranges. Mercury in Leo denotes the strangest things possible, but that there is no reason in Love; how that Deputies of Wards shall marry their Cook-maids, Aldermans Widows match with their Turn-broaches, and great Ladies mate with their Horse-keepers. Luna in reception with Taurus, young Wenches Prayers shall be, that God would send them handsome, rich, lusty Husbands, fine Cloaths, good Victuals, strong Drink, long Sleeps, and no work. Jupiter dignified in the tenth house, denotes a great plenty of [Page]Naturals, Changelings, Fops, Bubbles, Wise-acres, Coddle-brains, Shuttle-skuls, Paper-skuls, Half wits, Simpletons, Ninnihammers, &c. Fasting shall be much used where people have no Victuals. Mars is in opposition to Mercury, this will cause many oppositions on Earth, Qua­kers in opposition to Church-Government.

The twelve Signs of the Zodiack.

♈
Aries the Ram which bore the Golden Fleece,
That Jason brought from Colchos unto Greece;
The Sun being in the Ram makes it out clear
At the Ram in Smithfield you may have good Beer.

Aries or the Ram, hath Dominion over Butchers, Tan­ners, Huntsmen, Sow-gelders, Ink-horn-makers. Lant­horn-makers, Horn-book makers, and all those people who deal in Horns.

♉
Taurus the Bull, a Bull of high renown,
Whose Hide might make a good Aldermans Gown,
And if they think the Hide will be too small.
Then let them take both Hide and HORNS and all.

Under Taurus or the Bull are born all your Cuckolds, Wittals, Henpeckt-fellows, and Knights of the Forked Order.

♊
Gemini doth appear to all beholders,
To have Dominion o're the Arms and Shoulders;
A very loving couple sure they be,
As Man and Wife when they in Bed agree.

Gemini or the Twins bear rule over all couples, as Man and Wife, the Circer and his Whip, the Taylor and his Thimble, the Cutpu [...]se and the Hangman, the Thief and the receiver, the Drunkard and the black Pot, &c.

♋
The Crab or crabbed Woman does bear sway,
Such wives as will their Husbands not obey;
But for such crooked ribbs my counsel is,
A Crab-tree Cudgel will not be amiss.
[...]

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