HOlla Marocco, whose mare is dead, that you are thus melan­coly, vp I saie, and let you and me conferre a little vppon the cause, wherby matters & dea­lings may seeme to be so, you know my meaning.

Whereby matters and dealinges may seeme for to be. Verie good sir, spoke like a wholesome ha­berdasher, and as wisely by Lady master, as he that was sworne to his wiues friends, not to credit out his wares [Page] to anie man for the first fifteene yeeres hee was mar­ried.

And therewith mee thinkes I see him hang the hat vpon the pin againe. Wast not so Marocco? I am glad sir to heare you so pleasant in the threshold of my discourse, for I am come in purpose to debate a while and dialogue with you, and therefore haue at you after your watering. Laie out your lips and sweep your manger cleane, and summon your wits together, for I meane (by mine host leaue) to recreate my selfe a­while with your horsemanship.

And I am as like master to shew you some horse plaie as ere a nag in this parish, for tis a iade can neither whihie nor wag his taile, & you haue brought me vp to both I thanke you, and made me an vnder­standing horse, and a horse of seruice, master, and that you know.

I Marocco I know it and acknowledge it, & so must thou if thou haue so much ingenuitie, confesse my kindnes, thou art not onely but also bound to ho­nest Bankes, for teaching thee so many odde prankes. I haue brought thee vp right tēderly, as a Bakers daugh­ter would bring vp a Cosset by hand, & allow it bread and milke by the eie.

Maius peccatum habes, master you haue the more to answere, God helpe you. For I warrant you, (though I saie it that should not saie it) I eat more pro­uender in foure and twentie houres, than two of the best geldings that Robin Snibor keeps, that a hires for two shillings a daie a peece.

Two shillings Marocco, nay what saist thou by [Page] halfe a crowne, and ten groats.

Marie I say, three daies hire is worth foure such horses, saddles, and all. For a buyes them for ten pence a saddle at S. Giles one with another, and those accoutrements are sutable to his steeds.

Me thinkes such steedes should stand a man in small stead, by that he had ridde some fiue miles out of towne.

Yea bee sure, or halfe fiue miles either. And commonly the saddle fals asunder and splits in two peeces at the towns end, and one side takes his iourney towards Vxbridge, and the other to­wards Stanes, to stop mine Hosts cushions of the George.

Why thats Suum cuique boye, for the waine-men of the West countrie, and the Carry­ers of Gloucestershire commonlye barter awaye their broken ware with the hostlers for pease and horsebread, and they returne them a horsebacke to Peter Pympe the patchpannell. Marocco thou knowest where I am now.

Not I truely master, vnlesse you meane that shrewde Sadler that serued you so ill the last Tearme, and as I trowe his name was not Peter, his name was Iohn Indifferent, for a wrought me thought as if a had not cared whether a had ear­ned your money or no.

Beshrew him Marocco, a deceiued my hope, in a good part of purple veluet hose, that I purposde should haue made mee a seemely sad­dle.

O Maister you are to purpose, and he [...] dispose, of those hose▪ then were your breeches in his hands, and sweetely he handled them as you know: here mee thinkes had you supde vp but a quarter of sack, a quart of [...]ck [...], I should haue said. See how my minde was Master Patinis vpon the bagge of Otes &c. Or had you come in but reaso­nably loded from the Tauerne, or taken some of the excellent Muscadine at the Horne: why, what an occupation might you apprehend to rayle horribly against these mechanicall fellowes of the Towne, that so they haue it, care not howe they come by it. Twas but a veneriall sinne in this Sadler, to nycoll you, or nicke you rather of an old peece of Veluet hose. But what thinke you by him that had the conscience to aske fourteene yeardes of Satten for a sute of Apparell, and not to put in nine of them.

Yea Marocco, as well as of him that sold it for eighteene shillings a yearde, being not worth ten.

O he gaue time Master: And then take heed of that while you liue, In space, growes grace And in prosperitie of the Satten, will swell wonder­fully.

I am fall as fast in a cunning stealers hand.

A hard harte hath hee that hath such a hande to cut such large thonges of another mans lether, and lappe him selfe in a gentle mans [Page] liuery.

Tush, this is but a pettye matter to stande vpon: And yet Marocco I dare saie it and sweare it to thee, because thou art no talker: this petty matter hath pyncht neerer than euery man weenes for. I am vndone, nowe young genleman. Well, Motos praestat componere fluctus.

Why maister of whome should you bee afraide, I am able to iustifye as much as you say. Indeed those be the young men that neuer sawe the Lyons. Young maisters and gentle­men of the carelesse cut, such as care not howe they bee cut, or of what cut they bee like, so they may haue, to follow al fashions, and then they are cut indeed, noforce, so they fall into a fa­shion, and walke but twentie foure turnes in Paules, let it packe the next daye for the third peny. Maister M. Nemo ceditur nisi a seipso. Byrch and greene holly, and thou be beaten boy, thank thine owne, follie: He that will thrust his necke into the yoke, is worthy to be vsed like a iade. He that hath been a gentleman of faire demeanes, and will so demeane him selfe to let landes and lordeshippes flie for a little brauery Lu­at paenas & in pistrino, let him crye and let him lye, yea and dye to, for any pittie hee is like to haue at my handes.

Why how now Marocco. O ye are too sowre. Dare [Page] you tell mee of my splene agaynst the Sadler, and bee so bitter against the young gallantes of our age. What man, nay horse rather, nay asse as thou art, to become odious to the flower of Englande with thy foule manners. It is as naturall for young men to be braue and amorous, as for olde men to be graue and serious. Why colte then, youle take vppon you I see? Doo you not heare what they saie that scarse vouchsafe you an answere? ‘Patres aequum esse censent nos iam iam a pueris illico nasci senes, neque illarum assines essse rerum, quas fert adole­scentia.’

Maister you mistake me, I am no such se­uere horse nor sullen asse, but I can allowe a yong Gentleman his madde trickes, yea, and his merrie trickes too for a need. But master, this Latine I learned when I gambolde at Oxforde, Est modus in rebus sunt, certi denique fines. This is it vrgesth me thus farre, and I speake it in passion too, and wyth the action of my head and heeles, that a Merca­dore, naye, a mechanicall fellowe shall go so farre into a Gentleman, and a Gentleman so farre out of himselfe & all a has, that for one or two tearmes arraie, a shall for his liues tearme, and tearme of life become beggeries bondman, and vsuries vas­sall, O tempora, O mores, O Poetarum flores. You shall finde in an olde Tracte printed by Winkin de Woorde, this olde sayde sawe, Whats a Gentle­man but his pleasure, O pleasure, what a treasure is it to take pleasure with measure.

Measure Marocco, nay, nay, they that [Page] take vp commodities make no differnce for mea­sure betweene a Flemishe ell and an Englishe yard.

I knowe an ell Flemish cost English An­thonie halfe a yard of the best ware he had.

That ware will neuer see ware againe, in so good sorte as it hath done, nor sit in a show­er of raine on the top of Amwell hill.

Go to master, hum drum is sauce for a cunnie, you and I should doo verie ill to speake in priuate, we are so plaine.

Plaine Marocco, nay and I were as plaine as I will bee, I should crie out-right, for in this I agree with thee, and with thee the world a­grees, and besides teares and commiseration on the state of Gentlemen that haue vngentlefied, why I might saie, dishonored themselues by buy­ing and selling.

Haue they so master? Why woulde hee bee a buyer then? Why woulde hee bee a seller?

Ho, ho, good Marocco, I see now a do­zen of bread dooes as much with you, as three pipes of Tobacco taken in an odde alehouse, to a weake braine.

I am not dronke master, after my wate­ring, that you need to challenge mee thus: I know [Page] what I saie, and I saie what I knowe:

Go to master, he is a bad waster, that consumes his daies and houres, and reapes Pour vn plaisure, mille. Cambridge and Oxford can record: and the foule dolorous fortune of many a faire boorde, What it is?

I tell you master, for a truth I tell you too, I knowe a man that in this towne, had a Bible lying on his shoppe boorde, and solde but three yardes of satten vnto a Gentleman, and forswore him­selfe at least three times in the coping, and yet the booke laie open before him, and hee came newe from reading of Salomons Prouerbes.

That had beene somwhat grosse in him if he had beene reading the twentith of Exodus.

No, no, his minde was on the twentith daie of the moneth following, when his money [Page] was due.

Tis good to haue an eie to the maine: house keeping is chargeable, and rent must bee paide, the Landlord will haue his due, Caueat emp­tor, let the Tenant looke to it.

The Landlord will leade to the deuill, & the Tenant will follow after.

What else? they be relatiues: Landlord and Tenant are as Pater and Filius.

O master, I could relate to you of these relatiues, if it became me to speake like a common­wealths man, what an abuse is ingendered twixte the Landlord and Tenant.

Occasion of what Marocco.

Of more amisse by gis, than easily amen­ded is, of bauderie, and beggerie, and such lyke matters, master. Ambubaiarum collegia, pharma­capolae, mendici mimi balatrones, hoc genus omne. Crie out and complaine for the losse of this good land­lordes worship, God rest his soule, sayes T. B. wee could haue had no wrong while hee liued: so hee had had his rent at the daie, the deuill and Iohn of Comber shoulde not haue fetcht Kate L. to Bridewell, no nor all the Court whipt C. F. at the cart, Ile tell you master, come what complaint coulde haue come against Peticoate lane, Smocke Alley, Shordich, or Rotten rowe, there were champions and spokes men for this crue, other manner of felowes Iwis, than you thinke for, such as sit in their sattens and riche furres, and wyth a [Page] dash of a penne in a counting house, coulde doo more than the proudest plaintiefe that commen­ceth anie matter or sute against this sisterhoode, yea, and seale vp his letter and theyr lyps both at once, that murmur [...] anie thing against the inha­bitantes of this holy corner. Master I coulde haue shewed you the coppie of a Letter that was lost in this yarde by chaunce, written by a man of some account, so fauourably to the Treasurer of Bride­well, in the behalfe of an honest Tenaunt of his, such a Tenant, master, as had her name a Tenendo, and would holde so fast betweene the thighs, that shame it was for him that had anie shame, to be so shamelesse to vse anie meanes to keep her from o­pen shame.

Thou speakest of mallice against some or other Marocco, and perhappes thou meanest that drabbe that the last daie when shee sawe thee heere doo thy trickes, sayd thou wert a deuill & I a coniurer.

Against her Master, no of mine honestie, she is but a poore whoore, to her I meane. Tush, she that I talke of can entertaine you with a duzen of tiffite taffetie girles in a morning, I, and the worst of them, when she is at the worst, shall haue a wrought wastcoate on her backe, and a lockram smocke worth three pence, as well rent behind as before, I warrant you.

Those rents by your leaue Marocco, helpe to paie the Landlords rent at the quarters end.

I master, and the Landlorde by your leaue helpes to rent some of them betweene the quarters.

Thats but a tricke of youth lad [...] Omnis homo mendax, Euerie man may amend.

True master, Et vt hora sic vita, A loues a whoore as his lyfe. For hee will forbeare as long as shee will beare, and thats ka mee, and ka thee, knaue he, and queane she.

Had neede bee of exceeding patience Marocco, to forbeare as long as sheele beare, for a better bearing beast is not in all Shordich, nor Hounds dich neither, than this beastly beast that I thinke thou meanest. But speake not so loude, for and if her landlord heard you, hee would aun­swere for her.

I thinke so, has answered so long for her, that a can scarce answere for himselfe, and I speake not so loude that I feare him, Male audit vbique, master, a heares verie badlye euerie where: and worse a will heare, and a holde on, yea master, and loose hearing and seeing to, and a vi [...] it and see it, as a has done these duzen yeres.

Well, whats that to the purpose, these wrongs are priuate, and touch himself, and wrack not the common wealth, as thou exclaymest.

O master, then you know nothing: For vn­derstand you as of Nownes, some be substantiues, some be adiectiues: so of Landlords, some of them bee couetous, and some bee lecherous, and hee [Page] is both.

Sayest mee so. Well then Marocco, whether does more harme in the commonwelth, the couetous or the lecherous Landlord.

Tush master, that question is no question. For though it bee a question betweene the coue­tous and the prodigall, yet is it no question be­twixt the couetous and the lecherous. The leche­rous Landlord hath his wench at his commande­ment, and is content to take ware for his money, his priuate scutcherie wounds not the common­wealth farther than that his whoore shall haue a house rent free, when his honest neighbours wife and children shall neither haue a peece of a house or householde loafe for him. Let him passe for a farting churle, and weare his mistres fauors, viz. rubies and precious stones on his nose, &c. And this Et caetera shall, if you will, bee the perfectest poxe that euer grewe in Shordich or South­warke.

And there haue beene bigge inflama­tions, and more vnquenchable than the great fire that burnt so much blew threed on the toppe of Fishstreet hill.

But the couetous Landlord is the cater­piller of the common-wealth, hee neither feares God nor the deuill, nor so hee maye racke it out, cares not what Tenant he receiues: he is no wen­cher (praie God he be no bencher) hee fits warme at home, and sets downe his accounts, and saies to [Page] himselfe, my houses goe nowe but for twentie poundes by the yeere, Ile make them all baudie houses, and they will yeeld mee twice as much. Vppon the Exchange comes to him one or two honest men to take thē at his hands, the poore arti­ficer or his lyke, of what trade so euer, offers him the rent it hath gone for, & sureties perhaps. Yea, saie so, good securitie, and foure pounds a yere for a house, comes Pierce Pandor, and baudie Bet­trice his wife, two that I warrant you were know­en well inough what they were, I two that had beene as well carted and whipt, and couerd with durt ouer head and eares, and they forsooth will begin the world anue again, hauing a fresh wench or two that came but from the carryers that mor­ning, though shee had tapt many a canne in long lane at Barthelmew tide. With this stocke of wen­ches will this Trustie Roger and his Bettrice set vp forsooth with their pamphlet pots, and stewed prunes, nine for a tester, in a sinfull saucer, and they will offer this couetous and wretched land­lorde fiue poundes by the yeere, yea sixe pounds to haue his house and his countenaunce wythall. But hee that will go to the deuill for money, will admit them with fauour, and so let them haue his house, with promise of anie thing whatsoeuer in his power, yea, and if occasion serue, will write, and speak, and take paines and plaie the sutor, and beare wyth them in anie thing, so there bee anie meane to doo it, and hee to bee sure of his rent. [Page] God is his iudge hee does it for no fleshly respect, but euen of a mere worldly motion, to beare sinne out with sinne, and lecherie with couetousnesse. Let the Parish complaine, why (sayes hee) what should I doo, I haue my rent paid mee at my day. I must make money of my lande, and so let them doo their heartes out, thinkes hee, I shall haue my rent the readier. This cormorant is hee that cares not how he get it so hee haue it. This Stymphalist is he that with fiue or sixe Tenements, and the re­tinue thereunto belonging, infectes the aire with stench, and poisons that parish, yea and twentie parishes off with the contagion of such carrion as lies there in their bumble baths, and stinke at both ends like filthie greene elder pipes. For him and them master, such Landlordes and such Tenants. Good master wish as I wish.

Whats thy wish Marocco?

That at the quarter daie the parish would of their owne deuotion to the common wealth, bestow a banket vpon them of ale and cakes in the cage, & a hundred or two of good faggots, to con­sume the bodies and bones of them all and euerie mothers child, such Landlords and such Tenants as so much against conscience, receiue & deceiue, and daie by daie, and houre by houre cheat, coo­sen, catch, and dcuour in pillage from gentlemen, prentises, and good fellowes, abvno vsque ad mille, euen from the outside to the inside, from the cloak to the shirt, leauing Nicol Neuerthriue neuer a [Page] wench in the chamber or penie in the purse.

Marocco, Praie thy wish take effect, I wish for euerie parish so pestered with such tenants and tenements, God put into their mindes to be but at cost and charges for the faggots, for ale and cakes I were mearst, if it cost fiue markes. But how does this landlord fall into this Praemunire? Why is thy mallice so great against them, when tis the baude and the whoore that make all this stirre?

O master, miserable landlords are cause of all this mischiefe. Tis he that because he will haue an vnreasonable rent, will vpholde anie villanie in his tenant: a slaue to monie, a pandor to the baud, a piller, nay a pillow & a bolster to all the roguerie committed in his houses. And yet will this filthie felow sit at his doore on a sonday in the high street and my mistres his wife by him, & there forsooth talke so saint-like of the sermon that day, and what a good peece of worke the young man made, and what a goodly gift of vtterance he had, but not the value of a pound of beefe wil a giue him, were his gift of vtterance comparable to S. Augustines, or Chrisostomes eloquence. Sweare a will and for­fweare vpon the worke day, as well as anie. And if percase a sit in place of authoritie, O howe seuere will he be in all his proceedings against a youg or good fellow in anie trifling matter. Then a takes vpon him not a little: Sir (sayes hee) what did you in such an house? Wherefore came you the­ther? And laie the lawe and the Prophetes too, [Page] and so rate a Gentleman well descended, meerely priuiledged with a furd gowne and a nightcap: when in deede his bringing vp hath beene in beg­gerie and slauerie illiberally, hauing spent his time in conference with the water tankard at the Con­duit, lying miserably, and for sparing of wood, lo­ding his gowne sleeue with fuell from the haber­dashers, and wearing his handes in a frostie morn­ing by the fugitiue flames of a few wast papers, a naturall enemie to all learning and liberalitie. O master, such a churle as you and I sawe heere last daie talke with two souldiers in the yard, and put his hand in his pouch, & gaue them nere a penny.

Didst thou see that Marocco? Well, there be too many such as he, yet there is a choice num­ber of sober citizens that haue golden mindes, and golden purses withall.

That I know well master, and to them that haue such golden mindes, I wish golden mines: master, I protest to you I speake it not to flatter, but in reproach of those money-mongers, those lease-mongers, those caniballs, that dishonour the citie wherein they dwell, but vprightly I speake it, that you may not think I raile vpon mallice against any priuate man for anie priuate quarrell: There are many that beautifie London for their good parts, who being ciuily and well brought vp, are affable to straungers, charitable to the poore, liberall to schollers, and such as Citizens should be, dutifull to their prince, and deuout to their citie.

[Page]But as cockle is euer among corne, and drosse a­mong gold, so wil those soule churles cumber the best corners, and march cheek by ioul among the better many, with as great shew of deuotion and charitie as the best. From such dissembling holy­nesse, such double wickednesse, good Lord dely­uer vs.

Tis almost supper time Marocco, I heare mine host call, you haue done pretily well for two pointes, referre the rest till another time.

As you please master, and let this be our first lecture of the Anatomie of the world. If the Trance holde me but till the next Tearme, where now I haue but with a drie foote ouerleapt these matters, I may chance of these and more leaue a deeper print, and hauing handled a case of com­modities, will saie somewhat further of their dis­commodities and differences, euen as the bit of reason shall leade mee. And so I commit you to your supper, and my selfe to my litter, for I promise you I am not a little weary with gambolling this after noone.