An Almond for a Parrat.
WElcome Mayster Martin from the dead, and much good ioy may you haue of your stage-like resurrection. It was told me by the vndanted purseuants of your sonnes, and credibly beléeued in regard of your sinnes, that your grout-headed holinesse had turnd vppe your héeles like a tired iade in a medow, and snorted out your scornefull soule, like a mesled hogge on a mucke-hill, which had it not béene false as the deuill woulde haue it, that long tongd doctresse Dame Law. muste haue béene faint (in spite of insperation) to haue giuen ouer speaking in the congregation, and employ her Parrats tong in stead of a winde-clapper to scarre the crowes from thy carrion. But profound Cliffe the ecclesiasticall cobler, interrupted from his morning exercise with this false alarum, broke vp his brotherly loue-méeting abruptly, when the spirite had but newly moued him, and betooke him to his solitary shoppe, abutting on the backe side of a bulke. Nor was his souterly sorrow so hippocritically ingratefull, but he determined in the aboundance of his teares, that made a ful tide in his blacking tubbe, to haue stitcht vp your traytourshippe a tumbe of vntand leather, wherein tanquam culeolo insutus, hee mought haue sought his fortune in the seas. But I know not how this parracides exequies were prorogd, in so much as a brother in Christ of his at Northhampton, fetcht a more thriftier president of funeralls piping hot from the primitiue church, which including but a few words and those passing well expounded, kept his wainscot from waste, and his linnen from wearing, sufficeth he tombled his wife naked into the earth at high noone, without sheete or [Page 2] shroude to couer her shame, breathing ouer her in an audible voice: Naked came I out of my mothers wombe, and naked shall I returne againe. Tut, tut, a thousand of these pranks make no discord in my young maisters discipline, whose reformed fraternity, quoat Scripture so confidently, as if they had lately purchast a commission of cum priuilegio ad interpretandum solum, from Christ and his twelue Apostls. And in déede who knowes whether Maister Martin being inspired, as earst one of his faction, who hearing the waites play vnder his window very early, insulted most impudently, that in the midst of his morning praiers, he was presented with the melody of Angels, so hee in like manner shoulde vaunt of some reuelation, wherein the full sinode of Lucifers ministers angells assembled, did parlament all their enuy to the subuersion of our established ministry, and then comes forth some more subtile spirite of hipocrisie, which offers himself to be be a false prophet in the mouths of our Martinists, to whom the whole sedition house of hel condiscending, break vp their sessions, and send this seducer into the world, where finding no such mutinous seate, as the heart of our seconde Pilate Marprelate, he chose it in steade of a worser, to bee vnto England as Zidkiah son of Chenaanah was vnto Ahab. Beare with me good Maister Pistle-monger, if in comparing thy knauery, my full points seeme as tedious to thy puritane perusers, as the Northren mans mile, and a waybitte to the weary passenger, for I tell thee troth, till I see what market commission thou hast to assiste any many sentences, I will neuer subscribe to thy periode prescisme. And hearest thou old Martin, did all thy libells iointly shroude so much substance of diuinity in their outlandish letters, as that one periode of vniformity in T. C. directing to obedience, I would thinke God had bin mercifull to thée in inspiring thy soule with some one separate motion, from reprobation, but when whole reames of paper are blotted with thy huperbolical blasphemies and religious matters of controuersy [Page 3] more then massacred by thy prophane scurrility, I cā but suppose thy hart y t house swept and garnished, into the which the soule spirit returned with other 7. spirits worse then himself. Malicious hipocryt, didst thou so much malign the successeful thriuings of the Gospell, that thou shouldst filch thy selfe, as a new disease into our gouernement? wert thou the last instrument of Sathans enuy, that as the abhortiue childe of a Chaos of heresies, thou sholdst adorne thy false dealing with the indtiments[?] of discipline? Me thinks I sée thée smile from vnder thy double-fact hood, to thinke howe craftily thou hast crept into mens cōsciences: but wouldst thou obserue, how is[?] thy alarums haue prosperd in our peaceable ears, that make no more breach into our state, then the iron hornes of those hony tōgd prophets into the arraies of the Aramites. Chro. 2. and tenth Chap. thou wouldest with Achitophell return to thy house (at least if thou hast any) and hang thy selfe in a melancholie, for that thy counsaile was turned to follye. When I first saw thy books, I ascribed thy impudence, to the Calab [...]ian wonders of 88. but when 89. beheld thee in a new sute, I imagined the excesse of our sins, sent thée forth to geue railing sentence against vs, as Simei against Dauid in the 2. of Kings. Yet seely sophister wouldest thou return the sobrietie of thy morning wittes to this ouerworne Simile, that the rodde which was made to correct post destinatum finem, is cast into the fire, thy despaire would déeme euery darke hole, the entraunce into hell, thy soule being the cittie, whereof the deuill is made free by endenture. And be it true which pittying report bath auouched, Herostratus desire to be famous, made thee to seale him a conueiance of it many yeares since, so that now thy notorious pamphlets hauing passed the Presse, it is to be feared he will come ouer thee for couenantes ere many yeares to an end. It may bee thou hast redde Foxes Monuments more idlely, where lighting on the example of Luther, that by his praiers importunitie, made the deuil to deliuer vp the obligation of his dānation, that sold the ioies of Heauē, for the inheritance of earth, [Page 4] thou hopest[?] in like manner in the age of thine iniquities to bee restored to eternity, by the vncessant inuocation of the Church which thou termest Antichristian. Deceiue not thy selfe thou man of security, for the enemy of Adam is no poeticall Argus, that his eies should bee put out by thy arguments. I tell thée troth, he wil be-pistle thée so peuishly, with allegations of vnuenidall sinnes, as though hee were borne within two houses of Battle bridge. It is not thy despairing protestations, can make thy peace with God, whose church thou hast sought to deuide, as did Herods souldiers his garmentes: wele geue thée leaue to tell vs a smooth tale of the intercepting of thy treasons, and curry fauour like a crafty foxe, with the ciuill magistrate in politique termes of feare and reuerence, but thy heart is no more disguised in this hypocriticall apparel, then a trenchour Aristippus in the coate of a Parasite. Why discourse I so soberly, with the mortall enemy of modesty, when as the filth of the stewes, distild into ribauldry termes, cannot confectionate a more intemperate stile then his Pamphlets. Thou calst our Bishops wicked by comparison, whereas (wert thou strooken as thou protests with the vntoward euentes of thy villanies) thou shouldst find the defilings of the 7. deadly sins, to haue broght thée by a pleasant pollution, within the possitiue degrée of damnation. What talk I to him, of hel or damnation, whom Lucifer hath furnisht to infection, with the painted poison of snout-holy deuotion, and all the powers of darknesse, haue adorned as an intelligencer to their kingdome, of the infirmities in our flourishing Church of England. To this purpose haue they inspired him with a most scurrile spirite of lying, that when his eagle-sighted enuy can truely atract no argument of infamy, his poetica licentia, may haue a fresh supply of possibilities, that encrease by cōtinuance to a compleat libell of leasings. All you that be schollers, read but his last challenge, wherein he laies about him so lamely, as though of his limping brother. Pag. hee had lately learndd to play [Page 5] at cudgels. But how euer his crazed cause goes on crutches, that was earst so brauely encountered by Pasquin and Marphoreus, and not many moneths since most wittily scofte at by the extemporall endeuour of the pleasant author of Pap with a hatchet: yet is not the good olde créeple vtterly discouraged, or driuen cleane from his dounghill, but he meanes to make the persecuted Coblers once more merrie. Yet by your leaue his other dayes daunger is not so fully disgested, that he shuld forget the sanctified martyrs his brethren, those runagate Printers, to whose reuenge he bequeatheth a large Pistle of rayling Epithites, and mistearmeth our Bishoppes authoritie, with a whole Textor of tyrannie. A few of whose milder tearms are of this making, wicked Priests, presumptuous Priests, proude Prelates, arrogant Bishops, horseléeches, butchers, persecutors of the truth, Lamhethical whelps Spanish Inquisitours. Thinke you this myrie mouthed mate, a partaker of heauenly inspiration, that thus aboundes in his vncharitable railings: yet are these nothing in comparison of his auncient burlibond adiunctes, that so pester his former edition with their vnweldie phrase, as no true syllogisme can haue elbowe roome where they are. In which Alphabet these that followe may bee placed: bounsing Priests, terrible Priests, venerable Maisters, proud and pontificall Patripolitians. Gentle reader, I giue you but a tast of them by the waie, that you may knowe them the next time you méete them in your dish, and learne to discerne a poysonous scorpion from wholesome fish. Martin you must thinke, was moude, when his gun-pouder papers were fired aboute his cares, and the spendthriftes his Printers, haled to the prison their patrimonies. Wherefore I cannot blame him though he sends abroade his Letters of supplication, in behalfe of his seruants that did but his bidding. The Church, the Church is persecuted amongst you my maisters, and Martin gettes nere a superintendentship by the shift, but let not Meg Law. crie once more to the Churchwardens for her foode, least shée [Page] bring with her a campe royall of scoldes, to scratch out your eyes. Oh she will declaime brauely ouer a Cuckstoole, and plaie the gyant in a narrowe lane with her distaffe. Maister Cooper shall haue his stipend still at Paules chaine, or else shée will sweate for it. I lyke such a wench that will frande to her tackling, why Bishoppes are but men, and she will carrie a Martin in her plackarde in despite of the proudest of them all. Learne of her you London Matrones, to make hodie-peeles of your husbandes, and leade them like good soules vp and downe the streetes by the hornes, let it be seene by your courages in scolding, that women haue soules, which a balde eloquent brother of yours, denide not long since in his Sermon at Lichfielde. I, I, my maisters, you may mocke, on as you sée cause, but I warrant you the good olde true-pennie Marprelate is not so merrie, hee sits ruminating vnder an oake, or in the bottome of a haystacke, whose bloud shall be first spilte in the reformation of the Church. And not without cause, for hée that hath so lately felte the paine of worming and launcing, cannot but stande in awe of Buls slicing tooles one two moneths after. O it is a hairebrande whooresonne, and well seene in Phlebotomie, if a but once take knife in hande, cha will as soone let out the seditious humours forth a Martinistes bodie, as the best he in England, that hath bin twentie yéeres practioners in Surgerie. Good munckie face Machiuell, shew but thy head once, and trie hun at my request, and if he doe it not more handsomely, then those whom thou callest Butchers and Horseleeches, then neuer trust an olde ladde whilest thou liuest. How euer it happens, thou bearest thy resolution in thy mouth at highe midnight, and hast Scripture enough to carrie thee to heauen, though thou wert hangde to morrowe. We feare not men that can kill the bodie, quoth Martin, because we feare God, who can cast both bodie and soule into vnquenchable fire. Doest thou feare God in déede, I praie thée good hedge-creeper how shall [Page 4] we knowe that? What, by the smoothing of thy face, the simpering of thy mouth, or staring of thy eies? Why if that be to feare God, Ile haue a spare fellowe shall make mee a whole quest of faces for thrée farthinges. But thou wilt peraduenture saie, by thy obedience vnto him. Then will I catechise thée more kindly with a fewe more Christian questions: the first whereof shall be this, wherein thou placest obedience, which if thou aunswerest, by doing that which God hath commaunded in his worde: then would I knowe of thée, whether t [...]at of Paul be Canonicall or Apocripha, He that resisteth the magistrate, resisteth the ordinaunce of God. And here I am sure to be had by the eares with a Geneua note of the distinction of magistrates, but all that shall not serue your turnes, for Ile driue you from your Dic Ecclesiae ere I haue done, ware the vnmasking of Martin, when it comes tis lyke to bée a shrewde Pistle, I can tell you. Prepare your argumentes as you will, for Mar-Martin Iunior, meanes to make such hauocke of you in that his next pée of seruice, as all your borrowed weapons of simple T. C. shall not bée able to withstande. For your olde soaking Demonstrationer, that hath fcrapte vp such a deale of Scripture to so lyttle purpose, Ile leaue his confusion to the vacaunt leasure of our grauer Diuines, who I knowe, did they but once sette penne to paper, woulde grinde his discipline to powder. Thou art the man, olde Martin of Englande, that I am to deale withall, that striues to outstrip all our writers in witte, and iustle our gouernement forth of doores with a iest. What, wée must not let you passe with such fauourable tearmes, as our graue Fathers haue done, your Bookes must bée lookt ouer, and you beaten lyke a dogge for your lying. I thinke, I thinke I shall haue occasion to close with you swéetlie in your Hay anie worke for a Cooper, and cutte off the traynes of your tedious syllogismes, that nowe haue no [Page] lesse then seauen or eight Termini waiting on them. Fortifie your ruinous buildinges betimes, and saie hée was your friende that badde you: for I can tell you thus much, a whole hoast of Pasquils are comming vppon you, who will so beleaguer your paper walles, as that not one idle worde shall escape the edge of their wit. I giue thée but a brauado now, to let thée knowe I am thine enemie, but the next time you sée Mar-Martine in armes, bidde your sonnes and your familie prouide them to God-warde, for I am eagerly bent to reuenge, & not one of them shall escape, no not T.C. himselfe as full as he is of his myracles. But to pursue maister Protestationer in his common place of persecution. I remember we talkt euen now of a dudgen destinction from which my Bedlam brother Wig. and poltfoote Pag. with the rest of those patches, striue to deriue theyr discipline disobedience. Our Ecclesiasticall gouernment & gouernours say they, are wicked and vnlawfull. Why? because Sir Peter nor Sir Paul were neuer Archbishoppes of Canterbury, London, or Yorke. They were Fisher-men, and were not able. When Caesars Officers demaunded their tribute to make fiue groates amongst them, then what reason is it our Bishoppes should inioy their fiue hundreds, nay, that which is more, their thousand and two thousands? They were none of these Cartercaps, Graduates nor Doctors, therfore why should we tie our Ministrie to the prophane studies of the Uniuersitie. What is Logicke but the highe waie to wrangling, contayning in it a world of bibble babble. Néede we anie of your Gréeke, Latine, Hebrue, or anie such gibbrige, when wée haue the word of God in English? Go to, go to, you are a great company of vaine men, that stand vpon your degrées and tongues, with tittle tattle, I cannot tell what, when as (if you looke into the matter as you ought) the Apostles knew neare a Letter of the booke. I wis it were not two pins hurt, if your Colledges wer fired ouer your heades, and you turnde a begging forth your fellowshippes, like Fryers [Page 5] and Monkes vp and downe the Countrie. I marie sir, this is somewhat like, now Martin speakes like himselfe, I dare saie for him good man, he could be contented there were nere a maister of Art, Bachelour of Diuinitie, Doctor or Bishop in England, on that condition he prest Fishermen, scullers, Co [...]pers, Stitchers, Weauers and Coblers into theyr places. You talke of a Harmonie of the Churches, but héere would be a consort of knauerie worth the publishing to all posteritie. Would you not laugh to sée Cli. the Cobler, and New. the souter, ierking out theyr elbowes in euerie Pulpit. Why, I am sure Ladie Law. would fast mans flesh a whole moneth together, but shée woulde giue either of them a gowne cloth on that condition. My selfe doe knowe a zealous Preacher in Ipswich, that beeing but a while a goe a stage player, will now take vpon him to brandish a Text agaynst Bishoppes, as well as the best Martinist in all Suffolke. Why, I praie you goe no farther then Batter. haue wée not there a reuerent Pastour of Martines owne making, that vnderstands not a bit of Latine, nor neuer dyd so much as looke towards the Uniuersitie in his life, yet you sée for a néede he can helpe discipline out of the durt, and come ouer our Cleargie verie handsomely with an héere is to bée noted. Oh he is olde dogge at expounding, and deade sure at a Catechisme, alwayes prouided, that it bée but halfe a shéete long, and he be two yéeres about it. And well too my maisters, for such a one that vauntes himselfe to bée as hée is, as good a Gentleman euerie inch of him, as anie is in all Stafford shéere. Bée what he will, one thing I wote, hée is seldome without a good Chéefe in his studie, besides apples and nuttes, although his wise can neuer come at them. I hearde not long since of a stoute conference hée had with a yong scholer, who taking my Deske-man somewhat tardie in his disputations, told him hée was inspired with too much Logique. Wherevnto hée replyed with this solempne protestatiō, I thank God, al the world cannot accuse me of that [Page] arte. I hope anon maister Martin, I shall bée méetelie euen with you for your knauerie, if I goe but two mile further in your Ministrie. It is not the Primitiue Church shall beare out the Uicar of little Down. in Norfolke, in groaping his owne hennes, like a Cotqueane, I am to come ouer him when I haue more leasure, for his tenne shillings Sermons at Thetforde: wherein if he raue as hée was wont to doe, Ile make him wishe that hée had béene still Usher of Westminster. Well, to the purpose. You saie Bishoppes are no Magistrates, because they are no lawfull Magistrates. Is it euen so brother Timothie, will it neuer be better, must I euer leade you vp and downe antiquitie by the nose lyke an Asse. May neither Scriptures nor Fathers goe for paiment with you, but still you will bée reducing vs to the president of the persecuted Church, and so confounde the discipline of warre and peace? If you will néedes make vs the apes of all their extremities, why doe not you vrge the vse of that communitie wherein Ananias and Saphira were vnfaythfull. Perswade Noble men and Gentlemen to sell theyr landes, and laie the money at your féete, take awaie the title of mine and thine from amongst vs, and let the worlde knowe you héereafter by the name of Anabaptistes. Admit that the authoritie of Bishoppes were as vnlawfull as you woulde make it, yet since it is imposed vnto them by the Princes owne mouth, and ratified by the approbation of so many Kings and Emperours, as well in their particular Parliamentes as generall counsayles, you are bounde in conscience to reuerence it, and in all humilitie to regarde it, insomuch as Christ denide not tribute to Caesar an vsurper, nor appealde from Pilate a Pagan, who occupied that place by the intrusion of tyrannie. Were the Israelites in captiuitie, anie whit exempted from the obedience of subiectes, in that they liued vnder the scepter of Nabuchodonesor an Idolater, who had blasphemed their God, defafaced their Temple, and defiled their holie vesselles. Nay, [Page 5] are they not expreslie commaunded by the Lordes owne mouth, to honour him as their King: Howe can they then escape the dampnation of contempte, that béeing priuate subiectes to such a vertuous Soueraigne, as is zealous of Gods glorie will controll her, disposing of honours, and oppose vnto publique derision, those the especiall pillers and ornamentes of her state, whome shée hath graced from their infancie, with so many sundrie ascentes of dignities. But were this all, then shoulde not treason bée such a braunche of your religion as it is. Haue not you and your followers vndermined her Graces Throane, as much as traytours might: call to minde the badde practise of your brother the Booke-binder and his accomplishes at Burie, who béeing as hotte spirited as your worshippes, in the schismaticall subiect of reformation, and séeing it woulde not come of halfe kindlie to theyr contentment, made no more a doe, but added this newe Posie to her Maiesties armes. Those that bée neither hotte nor colde, Ile spue them out of my mouth, sayth the Lorde. Denie this, and Ile bring a whole Assizes, as Obsignatos testes of your trecherie. To come neerer to thée Brother Martin. Hast not thou in thy firste booke agaynst Doctour Bridges, as also in Hay anie worke for Cooper, excluded her Highnesse from all Ecclesiasticall gouernement, saying shée hath neyther skill nor commission, as shée is a Magistrate, to substitute anie member or minister in the Church. And in an other place, that there is neither vse nor place in the Church for members, ministers or officers of the magistrates making. If this wyll not come in compasse of treason, then farewell the title of Supremacie, and welcome agayne vnto Poperie. By this time I thinke, good-man Puritan, that thou art perswaded, that I knowe as well as thy owne conscience thée, namely Martin Makebate of Englande, to bée a moste scuruie and beggerlie benefactor to obedience, & per consequens, to feare neyther men, nor that God who can [Page] cast both bodie and soule into vnquenchable fire. In which respect I neyther account you of the Churche, nor esteeme of your bloude, otherwise then the bloud of Infidelles. Talke as long as you will of the ioyes of heauen, or paines of hell, and turne from your selues the terrour of that iudgement howe you will, which shall bereaue blushing iniquitie of the figge leaues of hypocrisie, yet will the eie of immortalitie discerne of your painted pollutions, as the euer-liuing foode of perdition. The humours of my eies are the habitations of fountaines, and the circumference of my heart the enclosure of fearefull contrition, when I thinke howe many soules at that moment, shall carrie the name of Martine on their foreheads to the vale of confusion, in whose innocent bloude thou swimming to hell, shalt haue the tormentes of tenne thousande thousande sinners at once, inflicted vppon thée. There will enuie, mallice and dissimulation bée euer calling for vengeance agaynst thée, and incite whole legions of deuilles to thy deathlesse lamentation. Mercie will saie vnto thee, I knowe thée not, and Repentaunce, what haue I to doe with thée. All hopes shall shake the head at thée, and saie, there goes the poyson of puritie, the perfection of impietie, the serpentine seducer of simplicitie. Zeale her selfe will crie out vppon thée, and curse the time that euer shée was maskte by thy mallice, who lyke a blinde leader of the blinde, sufferedst her to stumble at euerie steppe in Religion, and madest her séeke in the dimnesse of her sight, to murther her mother the Churche, from whose pappes thou lyke an enuious dogge but yesterdaie pluckest her. Howe euer proude scorner, thy whoorishe impudencie, may happen heereafter to insiste in the derision of these fearefull denuntiations, and sporte thy iesters penne at the speach of my soule, yet take héede least despayre bée predominant in the daie of thy death, and thou in steade of calling for mercie to thy Iesus, repeate more oftner to thy [Page 11] selfe, Sic motior damnatus vt Iudas. And thus much Martin, in the way of compassion, haue I spoke for thy edification, moued therto by a brotherly commiseration, which if thou bee not too desperate in thy deuilish attempts, may reform thy heart to remorse, and thy pamphletes to some more profitable theame of repentance. But now haue at thee for the goodnesse of the cause, of which thou saist: We must not reason from the successe.
Trust me therein thou hast spoke wiser then thou art aware of, for if a man should imagine of fruite by the rottennesse, of garmentes by the moath frets, of wine by the sowrnesse, I warrant him for euer being good costerd-monger, broker, or vintner whiles he liues. Therefore we must not measure of Martin as he is allied to Elderton, or tongd like Will Tong, as he was attired like an Ape on y e stage, or sits writing of Pāphlets, in some spare out-house, but as is Mar-Prelat of England as he surpasseth King & collier, in crying, So ho ho, brother Bridges. Wo ho ho, Iohn a London. Ha ha he, Doctor Copecotes. Doe this & I warrant you, for sauoring of the fleshe, though you take the oportunity of the spirite, with euery sister in Christ. Beholde the state of the low Countryes, since your Plaintife Pistler, will needs make the comparison, suppose Martin to be the map of Belgia dilacerata, whose chiefe prouinces as they are wholye possessed with Spaniards, so thinke his hart and soule enhabited with spiet, they Romists in the matter of Religion, and he a Papist in supremacies contradiction, her inward partes possessed with Anabaptists, and Lutherans, and his more priuate opinions polluted with the dregs of them both, her farthest borders of Holland and Zeland, peopled God wot with a small number of vnperfite Protestants, and the furthest and fewest of his thoughts, taken vppe with some odde true points of Religion. How now Father Martin, haue not I hit your meaning patte in this comparison. Say, wil you haue any more such interpretations, if you say Amen to [Page] it. Ile also reconcile your allegoricall induction of France, to the present constitutiō of your frowardnes: but that shal not néede, since the misery of the one is the mirrour of the other, and the Reader must suppose that Martin would neare haue compared himselfe to Flaunders nor France, but as they reflect by allusion the distraction of his factious faith. Howeeuer you take him at the worst, yet is his welchnes perswaded, that the Lord hath some speciell purpose, by preuentinge of his presse, to try who they be that are hipocrites, and what they be y t are innocent: And not vnlike too, for hauing interrupted the trafique of honestye, so long as thou hast with thy coūterfet knauery, tis more thē hie time thy vnder-hād treachery, were broght to the touchstone of authority. You think we know not how pretily your Printers were shrouded vnder the name of salt-petermen, so that who but Hodgkins, Tomlins and Sims, at the vndermining of a house, and vndoing of poore men, by diggyng vp their floars, and breaking down their wals. No, no, we neuer heard how orderly they pretended the printing of Accidences, when my L. of Darbies men came to sée what they were a doing, what though they damned themselues about the deniall of the déede, is periury such a matter amongst puritans. Tush they account it no sin as long as it is in the way of protestation, being in the mind of a good old fellow in Cambridge, who sitting in S. Iohns as Senior at the fellowes election, was reprehended by some of his betters, for that hee gaue his voice with a dunce like himself, contrary to oath, statute and conscience: why quoth hee, I neither respect oath, statute, nor conscience, but only the glory of God. Men are but men and may erre, yea goodman Spe. himselfe in Paules church-yard, although he saith he hath no sinne, what maruaile is it then, though some corruption cleaue vnto our aged Gentleman by his owne confession. Learne of me to iudge charitably, and thinke that nature tooke a scouring purgation, when she voided all her imperfections in the birth of one Martin: which if it be so, hée is [Page 7] not to be blamed, since as Arist. sayes, vitia naturae nō sunt reprehendenda. Gibe on, gibe on, and see if your father Mar-martin will beare you out in it or no, you thinke the good swéete-faced prelate▪ Masse Martin, hath neuer broke sword in ruffians hal, yes that he hath more then one or two, if the truth were known, and fought for his wench as brauely as the best of them all, therefore take heede how you come in his way, least hee belabour you with his crabtree stile for your lustines, and teache you howe to looke into a Martins neaste againe while you liue. Alas you are but young, and neuer knewe what his Bumfegingment, for if you did, you woulde thinke fiue hundreth fistes about your eares, were more then Phisicke in a frosty morning. Write or fight which you will, our champion is for you at all weapones, whether you choose the worde or the sworde, neither comes amisse to him, he neuer took his domesticall dissention in hand to leaue it soone. All England must bee vp together by the eares, before his penne rest in peace, nor shall his rebellious mutinies, which he shrouds vnder the age of Martinisme, haue any intermedium, till religions prosperity and our Christian libertye, mis-termed of him by the last yeare of Lambethisme, doe perishe from amongst vs, and depart to our enemies: then shall you see, what seditious buildinges will arise on the vnfortunate foundations of his folly, and what contentious increase will come from the schoole of contempt.
If they will needes ouerthrowe mee let them goe in hand with the exploite &c.
HOlla, holla brother Martin, you are to hasty, what, Winter is no time to make warres in, you were best stay til summer, & then both our brains wilbe in a better temperature, but I think ere that time your [Page] witte wilbe welny worn thredbare, and your banquerout inuention, cleane out at the elbowes, then are we well holpen vp with a witnesse, if the aged champion of Warwicke, doe not lay to his shoulders, and support discipline ready to lie in the dust, with some or other demonstration. I can tell you Phil. Stu. is a tall man also for that purpose. What his Anatomy of Abuses for all that, will serue very fitly for an Antipast, before one of Egertons Sermons, I would see the best of your Trauerses write such a treatise as he hath done, against short heeld pantoffles. But one thing it is great pitty of him, that being such a good fellow as hee is, hee shoulde speake against dice, so as he doth: neuerthelesse ther is some hope of him, for as I heard not lōg since, a brother of his, meting him by chance (as théeues méete at the gallowes) after many christian questions of the well fare of his persecuted brethren, and sistern, askt him when they should haue a game at tables together, by the grace of God the next Sabaoth, quoth Phil. and then if it shal so seeme good to his prouidence, haue at you for ames ase and the dise. I forgette to tel you what a stirre he keepes against dumbe ministers, and neuer writes nor talkes of them, but hee calleth them minstrels, when his mastershippe in his minority, plaide the Reader in Chesshire, for fiue marke a yeare and a canuas dublet, couenanted besides, that in consideration of that stipend, he make cleane the patrones bootes euerye time hee came to towne. What néed more words to proue him a protestāt, did not he behaue himselfe like a true Christian, when hee went a wooing for his friend Clarke, I warrant you hee saide not God saue you, or God spéed you, with good euen or good morrow, as our prophane woers are wont, but stept close to her, with peace bee with you, very demurely, and then told her a long tale, that in so much as widowhoode, was an vncleane lyfe, and subiect to many temptations, shee might doe well to reconcile her selfe to the Church of God, in the holy ordinance of matrimony. Manye wordes past to this purpose, but I [Page 9] wotte well the conclusion was this, that since she had hitherto conuerst with none but vnregenerate persons, and was vtterly carelesse of the communion of Saints, she would let him that was a man of God, put a new spirite into her, by carnall copulation, and so engraft her into the fellowshippe of the faithfull, to which that shee might more willingly agrée, hée offered her a spicke and spanne new Geneua Bible, that his attendant Italian had brought with him to make vp the bargaine. But for all the Scripture he could alledge, it should not bee, Phil. Stu. was no meate for her tooth, God wote he could not get a penyworth of leachery on such a pawne as his Bible was, the man behinde the painted cloth mard all, and so O griefe, a good Sabaoths day work was lost. Stand to it Mar-martin Iunior and thou art good inough for ten thousand of them, tickle me my Phil. a litle more in the flanke, and make him winche like a resty iade, whereto a dreaming deuine of Cambridge, in a cextain[?] priuate Sermon of his, compared the wicked. Saist thou me so good heart, then haue at you Maister Compositor, with the constructiō of Sunt oculos clari qui cernis sydera tanquam. If you be remembred you were once put to your trumpes about it in Wolfes Printing-house, when as you would needes haue clari the infinitiue moode of a verbe passiue, which determined you went forwards after this order. Sunt there are, oculos eies, qui the which, cernis thou doest see, clari to be cleare, tanquam sydera as the Stars. Excellent well done of an old Maister of Arte, yet why may not hee by authority challenge to himselfe for this one péece of worke the degrées hee neuer tooke. Learning is a iewel my maisters, make much of it, and Phil. Stu. a Gentleman euery haire of his head, whom although you doe not regard according as he deserues, yet I warrant you Martin makes more account of him then so, who hath substituted him long since (if the truth were well boulted out) amongst the number of those priuy Martinists, which he threatens to place in [Page] euery parish. I am more then halfe weary of tracing too and fro in this cursed common wealth, where sinfull simplicitye pufte vppe with the pride of singularity, seekes to peruerte the name and methode of magistracy. But as the most of their arguments, are drawn from our graue fathers infirmities, so al their outrageous endeuors haue their ofspring from affected vainglory. lib. de [...]abusio. Agréeing with the saying of Hug. Innobedientiae morbus ex superbiae tumore procedit, sicut sanies ex vlcere. The disease of disobedience procéeds from the swelling of pride, as madnesse from some vntollerable vlcer. The cause whereof Gregory thus expresseth. Dum plus exquirunt saith he, [...].lib. 8 contemplando quam capiunt, vsque ad peruersa dogmata erumpunt, & dum veritatis discipuli esse negligunt, humiliter magistri erroris fiunt. Whiles by study they search out more then they vnderstand, they breake forth into peruerse opinions, and whiles they neglect to be the schollers of truth, they most basely become the schoolemaisters of error. For such is the boldnesse of our boyish deuines, that they will leape into the pulpet, before they haue learned Stans puer ad mensam, and talke very desperately of discipline, before they can construe, Qui mihi discipulus. Qui venit institui saith Cassiodorus, antequam instituatur, alios instituere cupit, &c. The nouice that comes to be informed, desireth to enforme others, before he bee enformed himselfe, and to teach before hee bee taught, to prescribe lawes before he hath redde Litleton, & play the subtile Philosopher, before he knowes the order of his sillables: he wil needes haue subiects, before he can subiugate his affections, and couets the office of a commander, before he hath learned to stoupe to the admonitions of his elders, and beginneth to instruct and perswade, before he bee instructed and perswaded in any kind of art, which their folly once fuelled with y e frowardnesse of blind zeal, makes thē cō found cōtempt with gods true worship, & open their mouths against his ordinance, as did the Prophets against Ieroboams [Page 10] hil altars. T.C. in Cambridge first inuented this violent innouation, when as his mounting ambition, went through euery kinde of Ambitus, to compasse the office of the Uicechauncelour-ship. But after he saw himselfe disfauourd in his first insolence, and that the suffrages of the vniuersity, would not difcend to his dissentious indignityes, his seditious discontent deuised the meanes to discredite that gouernement, which he through his il behauiour might not aspire to. Thē began his inueterat malice, to vndermine the foundations of our societies, and reduce our Colledges to the schooles of the Prophets, to discard all degrées of art as antichristian, to condemne all decency in the ministery as diabolicall, and exclude all ecclesiasticall superiority forth the Church as Apocripha. No sooner had these new fangled positions entred the tables of young students, but Singularity the eldest childe of heresy, consulted with male-conted melācholy, how to bring this misbegottēscisme to a monarchy. To which purpose hipocriticall zeale, was addrest as a pursuiuant into all places of Suff. Norff. Essex and Midlesex, with expresse commandement from the sinod of Saints, to proclaime T.C. supreme head of the Church. This past on thus, whiles the sworde of iustice, slept in his scaberd, whose vnprouident eie neglecting the beginning of such burnings, hath added a more confirmed fury to the flame, which hath now taken hold on y e buildings of our bishopricks. How it hath raged in those quarters before mentioned for y e vtter impouerishing of the allegeance of the communalty, and lamentable vndoing of the estimation of diuers other knights and gentlemen, the whole course of the high commission may testify. Nether was this plague of apostacy vndeserued of their inconstancy, who forsook y e true seruice of God, to worship the idoll of Warwicke. Put case his reading be gret and his malice more, that he hath plodded through ten cart loade of paper, and bin the death often thousand pound of candels, yet as Gregory saith, Greg. li [...] perit omne quod agitur, si non humilitate custodiatur. Whatsoeuer is done doth vanish to infamy, if it be not vpholden by humility: [Page] What childe doth not sée into the pride of his heart, that first entertained the impudency of controlling antiquity, and preferd the poison of his owne peruerse opinions, before the experience of so many Churches, counsails and fathers. Quae maior superioria, ser, saith Bernarde, quam vt vnus homo toti congregationi iudicium suum prefcrat tanquā ipse solus habeat spiritū Dei. What greater pride then that one man should aduance his iudgement, aboue the sentence of a whole congregation, as if he alone had the spirit of God. Pride ouerthrew the towr of Babell, prostrated Golias, hūg vp Haman, kild Nichanor, consumed Herod, destroied Antiochus, drowned Pharao, subuerted Senacherib, & I hope will also confound arrogant T.C. and all his accomplishes in the Lords good time. And now that I haue vnburdened my shoulders of the weight of his learning, Ile ribroste my brother Martin a litle, for obiecting to my Lord Archbishop, the not answering of his bookes. Therefore first would I know of sweete M. sauce malapert whether he would haue the care of the common-wealth, and forseing consultation of domestical and forreine affaires, resigned to the retorting of T.C. his vnreuerent railings. Next what such equall proportion his mastership finds in their places, that the grauity and mildnes of the one, should stoupe his attention so low, as the iangling leuity of the other. Were there no other thing to refrayn his grace, from combating with a common barretour then this, that in discordia nemo benedicit Dominum, it were sufficient to pleade his absence from this inferiour fight. But when he considers that saiyng of Augustine. Nullus est modus inimicitiis, nisi ob tempus obtēperemus iratis, ther is no meane of mallice, vnles for a time we giue place to the furious, & that which another sais, Sicut nihil est deformius quam respondere furiosis ita, nihil vtilius quam tacere prouocatis. As there is nothing more vnseemely then to aunswere the froward, so there is nothing more profitable then scilence to such as are prouokt. Let him vse the libertye of his speache as hee please, and detracte from [Page 11] his learninge in what tearmes hoe sée cause, yet will all Christendome admire his perfection, when T. C. his singularitie shall go a begging vp and downe the low Countries. I will not gainsaie but your reuerend Pastor may haue as knauish a vaine in writing as your selfe, and fasten a slander on the Saintes of heauen, Ierome i [...] Oseam. as soone as anie of your sect, for nil tam facile est, as Ierom sayth, quam ociosum & dormientem de aliorum labore & vigiliis disputare. There is nothing so easie for a man that is sluggish and idle, as to call in question others mens watchings and labours. Mens praua, Greg. 15 sayth Gregorie, semper in laboribus est, quia aut molitur mala quae inferat, vel metuit ne sibi ab aliis infeānt, & quic quid contra proximos cogitat, hoc contra se, a proximus cogitari formidat. A wicked mind liues in continuall toile, because it eyther meditates the iniuries which he is about to inferre, or feares some reproch to be inferred by others, and whatsoeuer hee pretendes agaynst his neighbor, the same he mistrusts to be pretended against himselfe. If T.C. hath made thée his atturney, to vrge the not answering of his bookes, then I praie thée bee my Mercurie this once, and tell him thus much from Mar-Martine, that he hath vndone more Printers with his py-bald pamphlets, then his dish-clout discipline will sette vp agayne this seauen yéeres. Much inkehorne stuffe hath hee vttered in a iarring stile, and intruded a greate deale of trashe to our eares by a daintie figure of idem peridem, but for anie new péece of arte he hath shewed in those idle editions, other then that his famous aduersary hath before tsme confuted, he may wel enough bequeth it to Dunce or Dorbel, whēce his blundering capacity is lineally descended. What maister T.C. you think that no man dare touch you, because you haue plaid the scuruie scolde anie time these twentie yéeres, but Ile so hamper your holynes for all the offences of your youth, as all géering puritans shall haue small cause to insult and reioyce at my silence. Then sée whether I dare stand to the defence of [Page] your defame or no. Take héede good-man Howlyglasse, that I make not such a hole in your coate the nexte Tearme, as Martine and his sonnes shall not sowe vp in hast, I tel you I am a shreud fellow at the vncasing of a fox, and haue cats eyes to looke into euerie corner of a Puritans house. I warrant you my brother Pag. will saie so, by that time I haue talkte with him a little, who although hee bee none of the straightest men that euer God made, yet hath he as good skill in milche bullocks, as anie huswife within fortie miles of his head. Let him alone, and if he doe not know by a cowes water, how many pintes of milke she will giue in a yéere, then wyll he neuer help his wife to make chéefe agayn whiles hée liues: and without offence to his Pastorshippe bée it spoken, hée will saie pretyly well to a henne, if shée bée not too olde, alwayes prouided, shée haue a neaste of cleane strawe in his studie, and hée groape her with his owne handes euening and morning. Then sée if hée doe not make thrée pounds a yéere of her ouer and aboue all costes and charges. I marie sir, is not this a husbande in déede, that besides the multiplying of the Church of God, in his householde ministerie, will kéepe his wife and familie by crosse bargaines a whole twelue moneth. What woulde he doe my maisters, if he had two good legges, that wil thus bestirre him in his vocation with one and a stump. The world may saie he is lame, and so forth, but hee that had séene him runne from Houns. the other daie, for getting his maide with childe, woulde neuer thinke so. I meruaile with what face our Bishoppes could depriue such a man of God, that béeing knowen to bée a most heauenly whooremaister, a passing zealous worldling, and a most mortified schismatique, was fitter iwis to teache men then boyes. Bée ruled by Martine, and send him home into Deuon-shéere, or else hée will wrappe all your Cleargie once agayne in Lazarus winding shéete. Which fauour if hée obtayne contrarie to desert, I woulde wishe him as a friend, neare more to vrge [Page 12] Fathers to sweare at the Funt, that the children that are brought thether to be christned, are of none but their owne begetting, lest olde Ragdale plie him as he did in times past, about the shoulders with his plowe staffe. Haue with you Giles Wig. to Sidborough, and let vs haue you make another Sermon of Sedgwick [...] pack-prickes: or such another Prayer as you did of thrée hours long, when as a friend of yours (that best knew your armes) cast in the Rammes hornes at your windowe. If you be remembred, it was the same time, when you cride, Come wife, come seruants, let vs fall on our knées, and praie to the Lorde God to deliuer vs from all euill temptation, for the deuill is euen new gone by, and looke where he hath throwne in his hornes at the windowe. Giles, Giles, I haue to talke with you for your saucinesse with the right Honorable the Earle of Huntington, in whose presence you (though of all other vnworthie) then béeing, when conuersant with other Gentlemen, hée calde for a boule of Béere, which brought, and set downe by him, and he yet busie in talke, you tooke verie orderlie from before him, and trilled it off without anie more bones, bidding his man if he would, goe fill him another. And what of all this I praie you, was that such a wonderous matter, doth Giles care for anie of your Lordes, Earles, Barons or Bishops. No, no, no barrell better herring with him: we are all made of one and the selfe same molde, and Adam signifieth but red earth. I could tell you a tale worth the hearing, that would counteruaile Glib. of Haustead, were it not that it woulde make M. Wig. as cholerike, as when he burst in the Church maugre excōmunication, & knockt the keies about y e Sextens head, for not opening vnto him. Come on it what wil, in spite of midsūmer moone, you shal haue it as it is, therefore attend good people to the vnfortunate sequele. G.W. of Wig. house, in the land of little Wittam, chosen to the place & function of a pastor, by those reuerend elders of the Church, Hicke, Hob and Iohn, Cutbert C. the Cobler, and New. the broomseller [Page] cum multis aliis que nunc prescribere longum est, at length seased (after many yéeres stragling on the superintendentship of Sidborough, wher hauing worn out thrée or four pulpits with the vnreasonable bounsing of his fistes, it was his chance on a time to haue one quarrell more to another of them: so that no sooner mounted on her backe, but he began to spurre her with his héeles, to bore her about the eares with his elbowes, and so pittiously misuse her in euerie part, as would haue gréeued anie heathen Ioyner to the heart, to beholde. Nor coulde his Text containe him in this choler, or pleade anie pardon or pittie for this poore pulpit, but he wold néedes ride her to death from one Diocesse to another, from Yorke to London, from London to Canterbury, from Canterburie to Winchester, and all without a baite, insomuch, that tyred in hss waie homeward to his Text, he had stucke in the myre for anie more matter hee had, had not Iohn a Borhead come into the church as he did. Whom he espying in good time, crost the midwaie of a sentence to let flie at him in this manner. As for the discipline which those wretches doe hinder, looke, looke good people where that vile whooremaster Iohn a Borhead comes in piping hot from Clayphams wife. Whose verie sight put him so cleane besides himselfe, that he could neyther goe forward nor backward, but stil repeated, Iohn a Borhead, Iohn a Borhead, that vild whooremaister Iohn a Borhead: to whom with the Father, the Sonne, and the holy Ghost, be al honor and praise both now and for euer. Ah hah maister Martine, what get you nowe bp your red cap? Whether was Clayphams wife or Iohn a Borhead more in fault, for marring this good sermon. If I. a Borhead, then is it not best for him to come in my brother Wig. waie, least he stabble him, as hée did the Drumme once for playing after seruice. How ener it was, may it please you Lordes of the spiritualtie, in consideration of these laudible premises, to sende him home to his charge, that hée may once more preache in the yewe trée. My brother Vd. of [Page 13] Kingston thinkes Ile spare him for his wiues sake, that is reported to be as good a wench as euer playde her prises at Pancredge, although she is not altogether such a gyantesse, as my brother Wig. female, but forma fragulis, and Ale is not worth a button, if it be too stale. Wherefore prepare you good neighbour V. to vnder-goe the crosse of persecution. Martine hath vaunted you to be a venterous knight, and I doe meane to breake a launce with you, ere you and I part. Wherfore what saie you nowe to the matter, is Christ descended of bastardisme or no, as you gaue out in the pulpyt? Would you not haue your tongue cut out for your blasphemie if you wer wel serued? Are you a notable preacher of the word of God, and a vehement reprouer of sin, that thus séeke to discredit the fleshly descent of our Sauiour, I thought you such another, when I first sawe you emblazoned in Martins bookes. Tis you that are so holy, that you wil not forsooth be séene to handle anie monie, nor take golde though it shoulde filch it selfe into your purse, but if God moued the heartes of anie of your brethren or sistren in the Lord, to bring in pots, beds or houshold stuffe into your house, you would go out of doores of purpose whiles it was brought in, and then if anie man aske you, how you come so well storde, your answere is that you know not how, but only by the prouidence of God. I must belabour you when all is done, for your backbiting & slandering of your honest neighbours, and open inueighing against the established gouernment in your sermons. Helpe him Martin, or else his vpbraided absurdities will make thée repent that euer thou belyedst or disgracedst Hone, Cottington or Chatfield in his cause. May it please you therefore that are in authoritie, considering how reuerently hée hath abused Christs birthright, to restore him to preach that the blockes, stockes and stones of Kingstone, do not crie out against you. I followe the riuers of folly, whiles the fountaines of infection do propagate their poison. Martin all this while thinkes himself in league with obscuritie, whiles Phebus [Page] the discouerer of Mars & Uenus adultery, hath streamed his bright day light into the net where he daunceth. Blush squint-eied caitife, since thy couert no more wil contain thée. Caelum te contegit non habes vrnam. Therfore let al posteritie that shall heare of his knauerie, attend the discouery which now I will make of his villanie. Pen. I. Pen. welch Pen. Pen. the Protestationer, Demonstrationer, Supplicationer, Appellationer, Pen. the father, Pen. the sonne, Pen. Martin Iunior, Martin Martinus, Pen. the scholler of Oxford to his friend in Cambridge, Pen. totum in toto, & totum in qualibet parte, was somtimes (if I be not deceiued) a scholler of that house in Cambridge whereof D. Per. was maister. Where, what his estimation was, the scorn wherin he liued can best relate. For the constitution of his bodie, it was so cleane contrarie to all phisiognomie of fame, that a man wold haue iudged by his face, God and nature deuising our disgrace, had enclosde a close stoole in skinne, and set a serpentine soule, like a counterfet diamond, more déepe in dong. Neither was this monster of Cracouia vnmarkt from his bastardisme to mischiefe: but as he was begotten in adultery and conceiued in the heate of lust, so was he brought into the world on a tempestuous daie, & borne in that houre when all planets wer opposite. Predestination y t foresaw how crooked he should proue in his waies, enioyned incest to spawne him splay-footed. Eternitie, that knew how aukward he shoulde looke to all honesty, consulted with Conception to make him squint-eied, & the deuill that discouered by the heauens disposition on his birth-day, how great a lim of his kingdom was comming into the world, prouided a rustie superficies wherinto wrapt him, as soone as euer he was separated from his mothers wombe: in euerie part whereof these words of blessing were most artificially engrauen, Crine ruber, niger ore, breuis pede, lumine lustus. To leaue his natiuitie to the Church porch, where the parish found him, & come to his riper yeres, that now had learnd Puerilis, of the poore mans [Page 14] boy, and nere as pretily entred in Aue Marie English, as any parish clarke in those parts. I am to tel you how laudibly he behaued himselfe in Peterhouse, during the time of his subsistership. First therfore he began with his religion at his first comming thether, Hoc scitote viri, that he was as arrant a papist as euer came out of Wales. I tell you I. a P. in those daies, would haue run a false gallop ouer his beades with anie man in England, and helpt the Priest for a shift to saie Masse at high midnight, which if néed were, I doubt not but he would do at this houre. It was not for nothing my masters, that he so be-baited his betters, for shewing the people the relique of our Ladies smock in his sermon, & open detecting of all their other blind superstition. Say what you will, he is a close lad, & can carrie a ring in his mouth, though all the world sée it not: what though hee now dissemble with the time, & disguise his Spanish heart in a Precisians habit. May not he hereafter proue a necessarie mēber in conspiracies common wealth, & aduantage the holy league as much in this meanes of sedition, as all Philips power by inuasion. Simple English men, that cannot sée into pollicie before it supprise your peace, nor interrupt the ambition of trechery, before it hath besieged your prosperitie. Doe you beholde whiles innouations bud, & do not you feare lest your children and family be poisoned with the fruit. The Scythians are barbarous, yet more fore-séeing then you, who so detested al forren innouations, tēding to the derogation of theyr ancient customes, that they kild Anacharūs for no other cause, but for y t he performed the rights of Sibil after the manner of the Grecians. What should I vpbraide your simplicitie with the Epidaurians prouident subtiltie, who fearing least their Countrie men shoulde attract innouations from other nations, & especially from their riotous neighbors the Illirians, interdicted theyr merchants from al trafick with them, or trauaile vnto them, but least they should be vtterly destitute of their commodities, they chose a graue man amongst [Page] them, knowen to be of good gouernment & reputation, who dealt continually for the whole Countrie in the waie of exchange, and meruailously augmented their wealth by the reuerence of his wisedome. But you fond men, as in garments so in gouernment continually affecting new fashions, thinke no man can be saued y t hath not bin at Geneua. Your beléefe forsooth must be of that Scottish kinde, & your Bibles of the primitiue print, else your consciences God wot, are not of the cannonical cut, nor your opinions of the Apostles stamp. Pen. with Pan, hath contended with Appollo, and you lyke Midasses, haue ouerprised his musick. Good God, y t a Welch harpe should inchant so many English harts to their confusiō, especially hauing nere a string belonging to it, but a treble. Had a syren sung, & I drownd in attending her descante. I would haue bequeathed my bane to her beautie, but when Cerberus shall barke & I turne back to listen, thē let me perish without pittie, in the delight of my liuing destruction. Deceit hath tooke vp his seat in a dunce, & you thinke him a saint, because he comes not in the shape of a deuil. We know M. Pen. intus & in cute, first for a papist, then for a Brownist, next for an Anabaptist, & last for y e blasphemous Martin, whose spirite is the concrete compound of all these vnpardonable heresies. But had not the frantike practise of his youth throughly founded his confirmed age in this furie, I woulde haue imagined his vpstart spite, a wōder aboue vsual spéech, whereas now the coniectures drawen from his cradles, detract frō his mallice all maruels. For whiles hee was yet a fresh man in Peterhouse, and had scarce tasted, as we say, of Setons modalibus, he began to affect factions in art, & shew himselfe openly a studious disgracer of antiquitie. Who then such an vnnatural enemie to Aristotle, or such a new-fāgled friend vnto Ramus. This one thing I am sure of, hee neuer went for other then an asse, amongst his companions and equalles, yet such a mutinous block-head was he alwaies accounted, that through town and Colledge he was cōmonly called the seditious dunce. For one while he wold be libelling [Page 15] against Arist. and all his followers he knew, another while hee would all to be-rime Doctour Perne, for his new statutes, & make a by-word of his bald pate, yea had the Dean, President, or any other officer neuer so litle angerd him, they were sure ere the wéeke went about to haue hard of it, in some libell or other. This humor helde him at that time, when by conuersing with French men neare Christes Colledge of a Papist, hee became a Brownist, how afterwards from a Brownist hee fell to bee an Anabaptist, I referre it to those that knewe his after behauiour in Oxford. But for his last discent, a malo in peius from an Anabaptist to be that infamous Martin, impute it to the age of his heresies, that are now in there Haruest. Neither would I haue you thinke there was no more heades in it then his owne, For I can assure you to the contrary, that moste of the Puritane preachers in Northampton shire, Warwick shire, Sufolke and Northffolke[?], haue eyther brought stone, strawe or morter to the building of this Martin. Only Pen. found nothing but ry, which the last part of his name, affordeth sufficiently, you may sée what it is for a nest of hornets to hiue together, oh they wil make braue combes to choake bées withal, if they be let alone but one quarter, not so much as T. C. himselfe, but will haue the helpe of his fellow Brethren, if he hath any thing to write against Bishops, were not al the elected in Cambridge, assembled about the shaping of the confutation of the Remish Testament, O so deuoutly they met euery Friday at Saint Laurence his Monastery, wher the counsails & fathers, were distributed amongst seueral companies, & euery one of the reformed society sent there combined quotations wéeke by wéeke in a Capcase, to my brother Thomas, yet wandring beyond sea, succh a Chaos of common places, no apothegmatical Lycosthenes euer conceited. Bishops were the smallest bugs, that were aimed at in this extraordinary beneuolence, God shield, the court haue escapt their collectiōs. Some thing it would proue in the end [Page] if it wer published, that is pouldred with the brains of so many Puritan springols, and polluted with the pains of such an infinite number of Asses. Much good do it you M. Martin, how like you my stile, am not I old Ille ego qui quondam at y e besléeuing of a sichophant. Alas poore idiot, thou thinkest no man can write but thy selfe, or frame his pen to delight, except he straine curtesie with one of thy Northren figures, but if authority do not moderate, the fiery feruence of my enflamed zeale, ile assaile thée from terme to terme with Archilochus, in such a compleat armour of Iambicks, as the very reflexcye of my fury, shall make thee driue thy father before thée to the gallows, for begetting thée in such a bloody houre, O God that we two might bée permitted but one quarter, to try it out by the téeth for the best benefice in England, then would I distill my wit into incke, and my soule into argumentes, but I would driue this Danus from his dunghill, and make him faune like a dog for fauour at the magistrates féete. But it is our English policy to aduantage our enemies by delaies, and resist a multitude with a fewe, which makes sediton séede before the haruesters of our souls suppose it in the blade: it is not the spirite of mildenesse y t must moderat the hart of folly, dogs must be beaten with staues, & stuborn slaues cōtrolled with stripes. Authority best knows how to diet these bedlamites, although Segnior Penry in his last waste paper hath subscribed our magistrats infants. Repent, repent thou runnagate lozill, and play not the Seminary any longer in corners, least thy chiefest benefactors forsake thée, and recouer the pouerty of their fines, by bringing the pursiuants to thy forme. I heare some vnderhande whisperers, and gréeneheaded nouices exclaime against our Bishops, for not granting thée disputation. Alas alas brother Martin it may not be: for thou art known to be such a stale hackster, with thy welch hooke, that no honest man wil debase himselfe in buckling with such a braggar. But suppose we should send some Crepundio forth our schools to beat thée [Page 21] about the eares with ergo. Where should this sillogistica concertatio be solemnized: what in our Uniuersity schooles at Oxford, or in puluere Philosophico at Cambridge. No they were erected in time of Popery, and must be new built againe before they can giue any accesse to his arguments. Truly I am afraide y t this Generall counsaile, must be holden at Geneua, when al is done, for I know no place in Enland holy inough for their turne, except it be some barne or out-house about Bury, or some odde blind cottage in the hart of Warwicke shire, and thither peraduenture, these good honest opponents would repaire without grudging. Prouided alwaies that they haue ther horse-hire and other charges allowed them out of the poor mans box, or els it is no bargain. All this fadges wel yet, if we had once determined who shold be father of the act. Why what a question is that, when we haue so many persecuted elders abroad. The blinde, the halt, or the lame, or any serues the turn with them, so he hath not on a cloak with sleues, or a cap of the vniuersity cut. Imagin that place to be furnished, where shall we finde moderators, that may deale indifferently twixt both parts. Machiuell is dead many a yeare agoe, or els he had bene a fit man for this may-game, therefore whom shal we haue now, since it must be neither yours nor ours. Some vpstart countrey Gentleman, that hath vndone all his tenants by oppression, euen such a one as Scar. of Warwicke shire, that being a noted Martinist, be frinded his poor coppi-holder Criar, & turnd him out of all that ere he had very orderly. How thinke you my lay brethren? is not here a trim conuocation towards. But mark the end of it, and then you may haps sée odde buffeting with the buttond bookes, and battring down of bishopricks. Giles of Sidborough wil off with his gown at least, & make demonstrations of Logique with his fists like Zeno, what though he be low and cannot reach so hie as an Archbishop, may not he stād like a iackanapes on his wiues shoulders, & scold for the best game with all that come. He is sauing a reuerence a spritish dispuer, and a pestilent below[?] at an vnperfect [Page] sillogisme. Nay mark me well, & take me at my words, he shal speake false Latine, forge a text, abuse a Bishop, or make a lie of reuelation for more then I speak off with any man in Engāld. Neither do I flatter him herin for he hears me not, if I did, it were no matter, considering that virtus laudata crescit,
From iest to ernest, I appeale to you Gentlemen, how ridiculous in pollicy this disputation would proue if it were granted. First for there Bibles, the touchstone of all controuersies, they must bee of their Fauorites translation, or els they will deny there authority as friuolous. Admit they go to the originall (which but few of them vnderstand) they wil haue euery man his sundry interpretation. Let our deuines alledge any text, they will expound it as they list, say the fathers or other auncient writers what they will. For such is the growth of ther arrogancy, that they are not ashamed to compare themselus with Ierome or Austen, and in their tedious sermons preach against them as prophane. If this thē bee any betraying of the wretchednesse of our cause (as they call it) not to dispute with them that deny all principles, not to contend with thē that wilbe tride by none but themselus, I refer it to all considerate iudgementes, that haue no more experiēce in the actions of peace then a reasonable soule may afford. The more pacified sort of our Puritans, would néeds perswade the world, that it is nought but a learned ministry which their chāpion Martin endeuors: were it no otherwise his pardon were easely sealed, but those that know the treasō of his books, can report of his mallice against Bishops. One thing I am perswaded, that he neither respects the propagation of the Gospel, nor the prosperity of the Church, but only the benefite that may fall to him and his boulsterers, by the distribution of Bishoprickes. Beshrewe mee but those Church-liuings would come well to decayed courtiers. O howe méerilye the Dice woulde runne, if our lustye laddes might goe to hazard for halfe a dozen of these Dioses. Not a page but[?] woulde haue a flinge at some or [Page 17] other impropriation or personage: and in conclusion, those liuings which now maintaine so many schollers and students, would in two or thrée yeares be all spent in a Tauerne amongst a consort[?] of queanes and fidlers, that might carouse on their wine-bench to the confusion of religion. Well, to procéede in this text of reformation: is not this thy meaning Martin, that thou wouldest haue two and fiftie thousand Pastors, for two and fiftie thousand Parish churches in England and Wales. If thou saiest the word, we will haue a place in both Uniuersities, begin in Oxford first with the fresh-men, and so go vp to the heades of the Uniuersitie, and then count how many thou canst make. Our Beadles that know the number best, would néedes perswade vs, that of all sortes, there is not full thrée thousand: in Cambridge they say there is not so many by a thousand, then call thy wits together, and imagin with thy selfe, out of these thrée thousand, and two thousand of all gatherings, how many good preachers may be mustered, some foure hundreth as I gesse, peraduenture thou maist rebate them to some fiftie or thréescore, because there is no more open-mouthes of thy profession in both Uniuersities: How farre this fiftie is from fiftie thousand, a farthing worth of Arithmetike will teach you: where wilt thou haue then a competent number to fill vp those defects of dum ministers: inspiration I perceiue must helpe to patch vp your knauerie, and then welfare the cobler of Norwitch, that being one morning somthing earelie at Saint Androwes, and the Preacher not come before the Psalme was ended, stept vp into the pulpet verie deuoutly, and made me a good thriftis exhortation in the praise of plaine dealing. If this bee not true, aske the Maior that committed him to prison for his labour. Such another Doctour would he proue, that standing in election for a liuing that was then in her Maiesties bestowing, came to be examined by men of grauitie in the circumstance of his sufficiencie, who discending est soones [Page] into his vnschooled simplicitie, gaue him this litle English to be made in Latin. There be thrée Créedes, the Nycen Créede, Athanatius Créede, and the Apostles Créede, all which ought to be belieued vpon paine of damnation. The good simple superintendant, that saw himselfe so hardly beset, craued respite to compasse this vulgar, which grannted, after some deliberation he began thus to go forward, Tria sunt Creda, vnum Niceni, alterum Athanasii, tertium Apostolorum, quae omnesdebent esse creditum, sub poena condemnationis. I marrie Sir, here is apéece of scholershippe of the new cut, which for the goodnesse of the Latin might haue borne a part in the Pewteres paggeant. I kéepe a register of ten thousand such knacks. Why, there is not a Presician in England that hath abused arte, or mistoken a metaphor but I haue his name in blacke and white, what say you to that zealous shéepebyter of your owne edition in Cambridge, that saide the wicked had a scabbe, a braune, and a crust on their conscience, being so full of their wilie gilies, that we that are the true children of God can not tell how to concerne them: or was not hee a sound carde, that talking of the maiestie and authoritie of the scriptures, said they were the swéete meates of Saintes, the houshold stuffe of heauen, and the home spunne cloth of the Lords own loombes, being deliuered from the stonebow of his mouth, when he appeared in glory on mount Sinay: But this is nothing to the good sport of that is behinde. What, I must tell you of a fellow that trolles in his rethotike like Martin in his riddles. This hors-holy father preaching on a time in Saint Maries at Oxford, came off with this mannerly comparison: There is an vglie and monstrous beast in our tongue-called a hogge, and this vgly and monstrous beast in boistrous and tempesteous weather lifts vp his suoute into the ayre, and cryes wrough, wrough: euen so (deare people) the children of God in the troublesome time of temptations, cry, Our helpe is [Page 18] in the name of the Lord. Such another woodcocke was he of Yarmouth, that said openly in the pulpet, whosoeuer weares a vayle, is an whore without exception, and on an other time, two women comming to be churched, whereof the one wore a vaile, the other went without. He began his thankesgiuing in this forme: Let vs giue God thankes for the safe deliuery of one of our sisters, for the other let vs not giue God thankes, for she is a straunger, and we haue nothing to doe with her, I take her to be Dinah the harlot, that sat by the high way side, for she hath a vayle ouer her face, In the next place to him, shall he be put that raising on the Papists in his Sermon, alledged this argument to confute their religion, Nay (saith he) you may gather what a wicked and spotted religion this papistrie is, for Campion himselfe that was accounted their chiefest piller, was reported to haue had the poxe. I haue another in my tables, that handling that place of Iosua where Rahab entertained his spies, would néedes conclude all Inkéepers to be harlots, because Rahab the harlot was an Inkéeper. I shall run my penne out of breath, if I articulate all the examples of their absurdeties that I could. Haue not Trinitie Ha [...]l men in Cambridge a preaching brother in Bury yet in sute, for saying all ciuillians were papists. To let him passe for a patch, that being maister of none of the meanest Colledges in Cambridge, and by the oth of his admission, bound to take no money for preferments, made answere to one that offered him fortie markes to make his sonne fellow: God forbid I should take any money for it is against my oth, but if you will giue me it in plate, Ile pleasure him in what I may. This is the dreamer if you be aduised, that is indebted aboue two thousand houres to the Unersitie, which he hath borrowed by thrée and foure at a time vpon seuerall sundayes preaching as it came to his course: it is a shame for him, that he doth not pay them, professing such puritie as he doth. Martin, thou séest I[?] [Page] come not abruptly to thée like a rednosde ieaster, that in the pride of his pottle-pots curries ouer a reuelling riffe raffe of Tapsterly tauntes, and course hempen quippes, such as our brokerly wits doe filsh out of Bull the Hanginans budget, but I speake plaine English, and call thee a knaue in thine owne language. All the generation of you are Hipocrites and belli-gods, that deuoure as much good meat in one of your brotherly loue méetings, as would wel-nye victuall the Quéenes ships a whole moneth. It is a shame for you to exclame so against Cardes, and play thus vnreasonably at Maw as you do. Gaffe Martin, doe you remember whom you vpbraided by Primero? well let not me take you at Noddy anie more, least I present you to the parish for a gamster, this is the ninth set that you haue lost, and yet you will not leaue off. Beware Anthony Munday be not euen with you for calling him Iudas, and lay open your false carding to the stage of all mens scorne. I maruell Pasquill comes not away with his legends, considering that the date of his promise is more then expired. It seemes he stayes for some Saintes that are yet to suffer, and wants none but Martin to make vp his legend of Martyres, if it be so I woulde thou wouldest come aloft quickly, that we might haue this good sport altogether, and not liue euer in expectation of that which is not. O I could furnish him to the proofe with such a packet of male and female professors, as the world might not patterne. A good old dunstable doctor here in London, should be the formost of them, that saide his wife was as good as our Ladie: and another time quarrelling with one of his neighbours that was a fadler, about setting vp of the Organs, in a good zeale he lift vp his fist, and stroke out two of his fore téeth, like a right man of peace: where haue you liued my brethren, that you haue not heard of that learned Presbiter, that talking how Adam fell by eating of the Apple, discourst thus: Adam eate the Apple and gaue it to his wife, whereby is to [Page 19] be noted that the man eate and the woman eate, the man eate, but how, a snap and away: the woman eat, but how, she laide her thumbe on the stalke, and her finger on the coare and bitte it ouerthwart, in which byting it ouerthwart, she broke all the commaundements, insomuch as vnder ten greene spots the ten commandements in euery Apple are comprised: and besides that corrupted her fiue senses. From whence wee may gather this obseruation, that a woman alwaies eates an Apple ouerthwart. Why, this is sound diuinitie, and apt for to edify, Sed abeundum est mihi, and from the Cleargie must I leape to the Laytie. Wherefore God euen good man Dauy of Canterbury, and better lucke betide thée and thy limbes, then when thou dauncedst a whole sunday at a wedding, and afterwardes repenting thy selfe of thy prophane agilitie, thou entredst into a more serious meditation against what table thou hadst sinned, or what part was the principall in this antike iniquitie. The eyes they were the formost in this enditement, but the legs, (O those leude legs,) they brought him thither, they kept him there, they leapt, they daunced, and I leualted to the Uials of vanitie: wherefore, what didst thou but like a true christian chastised them accordingly. The scripture saith, if thine eye offend thee, plucke it out, Dauy saith, my hose and shoes haue offended mée, therefore will I plucke them off. This text thus applyed, off went the wollen stockings with a trice, and they with the good neates leather shoes were cast both into the bottom of a well. The sinners thus punished, and all parties pleased, home went the pilgrim Dauy barefoote and barelegge. And now since wind and tide serues, now I care not if I cut ouer to Ipswitch: there is a Cowdresser there that I am sure will entertaine me if she be not dead, great Iane of Ipswitch they call her, one that hath béene a tender mother to many a Martinist in her time, and hath a very good insight in a canne of strong wine. A good vertuous [Page] Matrone is she and a wise, hauing no fault but this, that she will be drinke once a day, and then she lyes her downe on her bedde, and cryes, O my God, my God, thou knowest I am drunke, and why I should offend thee my God by spuing[?] thus, as I do. I haue not beene in Essex yet, but Ile set in my staffe there as I go home, for I haue a petition for my brother that made the Sermon of Repentance to deliuer vp for me to the Councell: but it must not be such a one as he deliuered for him selfe to my Lord Treasurer, beginning with O sweet Margery, could thy eyes see so fare, thy hands féele so farre, or thy eares heare so farre &c. for then euerie seruing man will mocke vs, but it must be of another tune, with most pitifully complaining, that a man can not call an Asse, asse, but he shall be had coram nobis, In this vaine enough, because actions of the case are chargeable, & Guilde men vncharitable. If the dogge Martin barke againe, Ile hold him tugge for two or thrée courses, and then beware my blacke booke you were best, for I haue not halfe emboweld my register. Amend, amend, and glorie no more in your hipocrisie, least your pride and vaine glory betray our prosperitie to our enimies, and procure the Lords vengeance to dwell in the gates of our citie. The simple are abused, the ignorant deluded, & Gods truth most pitifully peruersed, and thou art that most wretched seducer, that vnder wolues raiment deuourest widowes houses. Uisions are ceast, and all extraordinarie reuelation ended, although a good fellow in Cambridge, hearing all thinges might be obtained by prayer, prayed two dayes and two nightes for visions: wherefore broach no more heresies vnder colour of inspiration: if thou doest, thou art like to heare of me by the next Carrier. And so bon nute to your Noddishippe.