MERRY IESTES of Popes, Munkes, and Friers: Wherein are discouered the Abuses of the Pope and his followers.
The first Apologue, in which is shewed, not onely that the Pope may erre in faith, but also what is the faith of Popes and their Prelates.
A Romaine Courtier, in a certaine conference, said, that the Pope might erre in faith: for which he was presently apprehended, and sent vnto prison. And because hee was a man of great credit, the Pope sent one of his Cardinals to cramine him; and hee not only constantly maintained his former spéeches, but also said againe in the Cardinals presence: that the Pope might erre in faith; the Cardinall told him that hée was as hereticke to beléeue it. But hee answering, said, what if I haue knowne wherein the Pope did erre in faith, shall I be accounted an heretick for beleeuing the truth? wherein (said the Cardinall) haue [Page 2] you perceiued that the Pope did erre in faith; Pope Paul (said he) on a time, as he was at dinner, said in my hearing, to many yet liuing, whom I can produce for witnesses, that he beléeued that he should recouer Placentia before he died, but yet died before he recouered it; therefore I am perswaded that he did erre, and was deceiued in faith. Then the Cardinall answered and said, we thought that you had spoke of the faith in spirituall things; no (said the Courtier) I spoke onely of faith in matters of this world, for as touching the faith in things which appertaine vnto God, so farre am I from knowing whether he erre or not, that I am altogether ignorant whether the Popes, or you their Prelates haue any beléefe at all.
The 2. Apologue by which is shewed that the Pope cannot deliuer soules out of Purgatory.
IN the time of Bourbon, Pope Clement being affraid, withdrew himself together with some of the Prelates which were his friends, into the Castle of the Holy Angel, & being there as it were shut up in prison, a [Page 3] Romane Gentleman said; vntill this time I haue alwayes beleeued that the Pope could deliuer soules out of Purgatory, but séeing that at this present hée cannot deliuer himselfe, and his deare friends out of prison, I am constrained to beleeue, that hee is much lesse able to deliuer soules out of Purgatory,
The 3. Apologue, by which is discouered the folly of Priests and Monkes, who pray vnto God singing.
A Certaine Priest went vnto Rome so beg a Benefice which was void, and such good friends he had, that he was permitted to enter into the Consistory, the Pope and Cardinalls being there assembled, where deuoutly falling downe vppon his knées hee began to demand the Benefice singing after the same manner hee was went to sing the Letanie: saying with a loud voyce: Most holy Father, I humbly craue such a Benefice, heare me I beséech you: then turning himselfe towards the Cardinalls, and naming them one after another (singing as hée did before) he said, Most reuerent Lord (such a one) pray for mee that I may obtaine the Benefice, which I desire of the Pope. They hearing [Page 4] this began all to laugh, being notwithstanding very angry with him, because they thought that hee had mocked them. Wherefore the master of the Ceremonies went vnto him and reprehended him, saying, that hée ought to aske that which hée would haue with greater reuerence: to whom he answered and said, I know not how to desire a fauour of the Pope and Cardinals with greater reuerence and deuotion, then with the same wherewith the Popes (who as we hold cannot erre) haue taught me to begge things héedefull for mee, of Christ, the Apostles, and other Saints. And because, when I would haue any thing of Christ, or of the Saints, I pray for it singing (as the Popes haue taught vs to doe in the Letanics) I should neuer haue imagined that it had béene ill to doe as I haue done. At this they all laughed, and granted his request.
The 4. Apologue, by which is shewed what force the Councils haue, as also, vpon what the Popedome is founded.
POpe Paul on a time exhorted some of his Prelates to study the holy Scriptures, that at the Councils they might be able to ouerthrow [Page 5] and confound the reasons and arguments of the Lutherans; and one of them said it is needlesse that we should take so much paines in vaine, and to no purpose, séeing that your Holinesse may easily, and with a few words annihilate them all. When the Pope asked him by what meanes & hée answered, in not accepting, but reprouing, and condemning, as heresie all that they shall say contrary to your profit. The Pope confessed that indéed that was true, but neuerthelesse hée thought it good that they thence shewed some reasons which moued him therevnto, as also that the Popedome and doctrine thereof had good foundation. It is not best for vs (said the Prelate) to read the Scriptures to that purpose, for they are contrary vnto vs; but wee must betake our selues to your and our decrees. Decretals, and extrauagants: then the Pope answered and said, although nothing may be directly had out of the Scriptures, yet it is, good to study them, that when néed shall require, we may be able to cauill, and wrest them to our purpose, and phantasie.
The 5. Apologue, whereby is shewed that Simonie is a sinfull thing, and whose successours the Popes Prelates are.
A Certaine Romane made his confession (of some matters which must not be spoken of) to a Confessor in the Temple of S. Peter in Rome; but the Confessor would not absolue him, vnlesse hée would giue him ten Crownes: wherefore the Romane said, Gratis accepistis gratis date, fréely you haue receiued, fréely giue. To this the Confessor answered he lies in his throat, who either saith, or will say these words: for I had not this office gratis, but I bought it, and it cost me more then an hundred Crownes. Then the Romane said, do you not know that these are the wordes of Iesus Christ, will you say that Christ doth lye? To this the Confessor answered, although these words are his, hee spoke them not to vs, for wée can at no time haue of the Pope the least office, Benefice, or fauour that is without mony: wherefore you must adresse your selues to the Apostles, to whom Christ spake these words. It is true said the Roman, he spake to them indéed, but he also meant thereby all that should succéed [Page 7] them: If it be so (said the Confessor) wée are not the Apostles successors, but theirs who bought and sold in the Temple.
The 6. Apologue, by which is discouered the folly of those who beleeue in Reliques and worship them.
A Priest of Geneua moued with deuotion, trauelled to visit certaine holy places, and after a time returned home againe, but with much lesse deuotion then hée had before, and with his purse quite empty. And being asked of many where the Reliques were which hée had brought to regaine the mony which hée had spent in his iourney? after a little deliberation he answered, that he had brought two most excellent and most holy Reliques: and began to tell of them (but secretly) to his friends, intreating them that they would not speake openly of them, for feare least they should be taken from him by the Signeurie, withall promising them that if they would be secret, he would impart the sight of them, so that they would make him some contribution towards his great expences in procuring them; finally many being desirous to see them gaue him money: and [Page 8] then he (hauing before ordered his busines) drew forth a piece of silke, a goodly paire of Dreshornes, and holding them vp, said vnto the people, that hée had brought them from mount Sina, and that they were the hornes wherewith Moyses descended from thence, after hée had ended his spéeches with God. Then taking a viol in his hand, he said that therein was contained the breath of Iesus Christ reserued by his mother when hée was a little one; and that hée had now brought it from Bethleem: Hée had no sooner finished these things, but all the Citty was full of the newes, so that he was presently called before the Seigneury & demanded whether it were true that hée had brought with him Moyses hornes, and the breath of Christ? and hée answered that it was true: then they asked him if he were not ashamed to make men worship a paire of hornes: If you (said the Priest) are not ashamed to make men worship and fall downe before the taile of the Asse on which Christ rode on Palme Sunday; Dught I to thinke it a shame to make men worship these glorious hornes of Moyses? & dost thou beléeue (said one of the Seigneurie that these are the very hornes of Moyses, and that in this viol there is the very breath of [Page 9] Iesus Christ Then he answered and said I doe as verily beléeue that in this viol is the breath of Iesus Christ, and that these are the hornes of Moyses; as I beléeue that to be the milka of the Uirgin Mary, which is in your viols, which you say is hers, making men reuerence and worship it as an holy Relique. When hee had: thus said, they let him goe.
The 7. Apologue, in which is shewed the folly of many, who laugh when they should weepe, and weepe when they should laugh.
POpe Iulius the third, on the day of his coronation, made a great feast, especially for the Ladies of S. Peters Palace; amongst which there was one who said, wee women are the veriest fooles in the world, and being asked why? she answered, because when Iesus Christ went to be crucified, hee went to his soueraigne tryumph ouer sinne, death, and hell, to the great glory of his heauenly father, and to our saluation, and perfect happinesse, and then we wept, and made great lamentation: but now on the contrary at this mans coronation, whence will procéede the great dishonour of God, and the certaine [Page 10] ruine and destruction of many Christian soules, we passe the time in feasts and merriment,
The 8 Apologue, in which is shewed plainly that there is no Purgatory.
THere was in Rome an excellent and learned preacher; of whom Pope Paul the third (as of one in whom hee put great confidence) demaunded on a time secretly, whether he did belieue that the Pope had (as men said) so great power and authority ouer Purgatory that hee could thence set at liberty all the soules therein, and cause that none should euer come thither againe? but the preacher durst not bouldly speake his minde herein, and would by no meanes say any thinge against his owne conscience, and therefore remained in doubt. Wherefore the Pope (perceiuing it) gaue him incouragement, saying that he would haue him speake his mind freely, without feare, or rather respect. Then seeing that the Pope desired to knowe the truth, hee answered that he had no power at all ouer Purgatory. Againe (perceiuing that the Pope did greatly wonder at his words) he said thus vnto him; Holy Father, had [Page 11] your Predecessors as great power and authority as you, or had they lesse? the Pope made answer that it was equall to his: then (replied the Preacher) if they had as great power as you, and by the same were able at any time to empty Purgatory, as you suppose your selfe able to doe, it is fit we belieue that among so many Popes, some one was found so ful of charity to free al soules thence for euer. The Pope answered that he could not tell that. But (said the Preacher) I know this well, that Iesus Christ the Soueraigne Priest, hath of himselfe infinite charity and power; and seeing that with his owne proper blood he hath truely and for euer purged the soules of his elect, what need haue they of any other purgation? wherefore I know not what that power is, whereof you brag and boast so much.
The 9. Apologue, by which is shewed the great ambition of the Popes Prelates, & the meanes they haue to come vnto dignity.
POpe Paul the third, being asked of his kinsmen by what meanes hee did ascend to the Papall dignity? answered and saide, wee came vnto it by shewing that by the [Page 12] course of nature our time in this life could be but short, and that we with patience had long expected it; by exquisit practises, by liberall promises, by bragging what great friendes wee had to terrifie the Cardinalls if they did not elect vs to be Pope: and finally by subtill sleights, and a large conscience.
The 10. Apologue, by which is in part discouered the auarice and superstition of the Priests and Monkes.
A Rich Seigneur of Paris, being very sicke the thiefe of all the Religious in the citie went at seuerall times to visite him, more indéede respecting the guiftes and rewards they hoped for at his hands, then his soules safety. And the Cordeliers exhorted him to call vpon and put his trust in S. Francis, the Iacobins in S. Dominicke: and the other in those Saints of whose order they were Mōks The Priest likewise exhorted him that hee would commend himselfe into the hands of S. Peter, or of the Saint to whom their Church was didicated. The Noble man perceiuing this diuersity ▪ caused them all to be sent for, and to be assembled into his Chamber, and then said thus vnto them. When I first fell [Page 13] sicke, I caused all the Phisitians in the City to come vnto mée: and they could not agrée among themselues to giue me a medicine, because that euery one of them, to séeme more learned then the rest, reproued all that the other would haue giuen mée, & counselled mee to take that which he would administer vnto mee. Therefore calling them togither, I said vnto them, euery one of you would haue me take the Phisicke which he hath ordained for mée, now if I should take all, they would bring my body into worse estate then it is already if not kill mée, and if I should resolue to take but one, I know not which to choose: wherefore you shall goe into this next chamber, from whence you shall not come, vntill you doe agrée to giue me a medicine approued of you all to be the best; then the Phisitians, knowing that long fasting would bring danger to their owne bodies, did quickely consent and brought me physicke; assuring mee that it was farre better, and more agreable to my maladie then any they would before haue giuen mée. Now in like manner, you being come to medicine my soule, are different among your selues; for euery one of you doth exhort me to call vpon such a Saint, and I, by reason of my great sicknes and debelity [Page 14] of body, am not able to make prayers perticulerly to so many. Therefore goe you into the Phisitians Chamber, and assure your selues that yée shall not come forth thence vntill you tell mee all with one accord, to whom especially and onely I ought to commend my selfe for my soules safety. Then the Priests, and Monkes, perceiuing themselues likely to fall into two inconueniences, that they must either yéeld one to another, which they would by no meanes doe, or else be opressed with hunger, which their gluttonous paunches could not endure, found out a third way to auoid both; which was, that seeing none of them had made mention of Iesus Christ, they would exhort the sicke man to commend himselfe to him aloane. Which when they had done, the noble man demanded of them, whether they all iudged it much better for him to commend himselfe into the hands of Iesus Christ, then of any of the Saints? and they all answered that it was better. If you are so perswaded (said hée) why had you not said as much at the beginning? Is it possible that (when you exhorted mee to call vpon your Saints) you should be so ignorant, that you knew, it not more expedient for mée that I commended my selfe wholly and onely to [Page 15] Iesus Christ? Get yée hence, get yée hence, you are a company of murderers, théeues, and wicked fellows, fraughted with auarice, lying and hypocrisie: and so with great disgrace, hee commanded them to be thrust out at the doores.
The 11. Apologue, by which is shewed that the Pope ought not to be Bishop of Rome.
POpe Iulius the third on a day wrote vnto the Emperour, intreating him that hee would be content to make a King of Naples in Italy, a king of Cicelie, and a Duke of Milan, on this condition that they should do homage and pay trybute to his Maiesty: aleaging this reason, that he was Emperour and King of Kings, and therefore ought not to be besides a particuler King, and Duke also. To this Caesar answered, that he was content to doe so, if that hée in like manner would resigne the Bishopricke of Rome to another, the which, by his owne reason hee ought to doe, contenting himselfe to be Pope, and uniuersal Bishop of Bishops (as he himselfe said he was) and not to be the particuler Bishop of Rome also. But hee was assured that the Pope would neuer yeeld thereto, [Page 16] knowing well, that if he left off to be Bishop of Roome, the world would no more hould him to be Pope, and Soueraigne ouer them as now it did being abused by his greatnesse.
The 12. Apologue, by which is shewed the superstition of some of the commaundements of the Pope.
THere was a Bishop of Denmarke, who because he dwelt farre from Rome, and that diuers occasions might happen in his Bishoprick to cause him to send to the Pope; did for a thousand crownes buy the Popes whole authority, with this prouiso, that hee should vse the farce no farther then the precincts of his owne Dicresse: notwithstanding he so behaued himselfe: that complaints of him were brought vnto Rome, so that the Pope cited him to make his personall appearance before him, and the Bishop at the day appointed was present. Now because that hee was a man of great authority, the Pope held the Articles whereof hee was accused in his owne hands, and examined him before all the Prelates, saying, wee haue vnderstood that you haue charged your people with many new fasts ordained by you, as if ours were not sufficient, but that you must supply our imperfections: and you (said the Bishop) [Page 17] haue grieued the poeple with fasts ordained by you, as if that the temperance and sobriety giuen vnto men by God were not sufficient, but vnperfect, vnlesse you added somthing thereunto. Againe said the Pope, wee gaue you our authority, to the end that you should make men obserue our ordinances, and not to forge a new Christianity: so (said the Bishop) Iesus Christ hath giuen his authority vnto you ▪ to this end and purpose, that you should cause men to keepe his commaundements, and not by adding yours thereunto, to make a new Christian religion. We should haue liked it well (said the Pope) if for the good of your Church, you had made any statute or ordinance, so that you had not also made the breach thereof a mortall sinne, but you haue obliged the people thereunto vpon paine of eternall death, and which is more, haue more seuerely punished the transgressors of your commaundements then the transgressours of ours. In like manner (said the Bishop) if you had ordained any indifferent thing for the commodity of your Church, and not tyed men to the keeping thereof vnder paine of damnation, it had not béene displeasing to God: but you on the contrary haue decréed that whosoeuer [Page 18] will not obserue your commandements, shall goe to hell; and doe inflict more grieuous punnishment on those which transgresse your ordinances, then on those which break the commaundements of God; wherefore I haue followed you, as your good and obedient sonne. Then the Pope said againe vnto him, but wherefore haue you commaunded, that in your fasts the people shall drinke but once? If you (said the Bishop) haue ordained, that in your fasts men shall eate but once; why may not I hauing all your authority (so that I can by no meanes erre) commaund that they drinke but once in mine? but were it not much better (said the Pope) that they dranke thrée or fower times, rather then poure down so much at once to make their eies stare, and their bellies cracke againe? So (said the Bishop) they who eate but once in your fasts doe so gorge themselues that their bellies are euen ready to breake, and were it not much more profitable for the health of their bodies, if they made thrée or foure moderate repasts of that which they gourmundize at once? But what folly is it of you (said the Pope) that in your fasts you haue wholly denied bread? what would you haue them eate? And what I pray you (said the Bishop) hath mooued [Page 19] you to forbid the vse of flesh, and egges, and milke in your fasts? what would you haue them eate in those dayes? Other things (said the Pope) ordained for their sustenance; men may likewise liue without bread (said the Bishop.) But if néede bée (said the Pope) I permit the vse of flesh, so they pay me for it. So I (said the Bishop) suffer my people to eate bread if they will buy a licence of mée. But bread (said the Pope is a creature ordained by God for the sustenance of mans life; so (replied the Bishop) is flesh created of God for the benefite of men, yet you notwithstanding haue forbidden it. The Pope was now at the end of his roule, and for a conclusion added this. There is one thinge more, which indeed hath offended vs more then all the rest, which is, that when any of your subiects being grieued by your strange ordinance, doe flye vnto vs for succour and refuge, you confiscate all their goods, yea and put them to death also, if they fall into your hands. That also (said the Bishop) I learned of you Holy Father; for if any one oppressed by your intolerable impositōs, haue recourse to God, hoping through faith only to obtaine remission of his sinnes; you cause him to be burned, because he did not beg absolution [Page 20] of the Priests and Monkes by you ordained; accounting him an heritique, who puts all his trust in God onely through Iesus Christ his welbeloued sonne, our onely sauiour and aduorate. Well to conclude, the Pope would haue punished him, but that the Bishop shewed he could not doe it, but hee must much condemne himselfe thereby, and greatly derogate from his authority, for (said hee) séeing I haue done nothing, but I did it as I was Pope, and by the authority which you haue giuen mee, if you punnish mée, it will follow, that the Pope as hee is Pope may erre, and by consequence the Popdome will loose much of its credit and reputation. The Pope was aduised that hee spake the truth. Wherefore he commanded him to renounce his presentment to the Popdome, and to resigne his authority, which he would not do, aleadging that the Popdome was his, for he had well bought it, then the Pope offered to restore his thousand crownes, which hee paid for it: but the Bishop would not accept of them, both by reason of the great gaines he made thereof, as also for the great honour he receiued thereby. Finally, the Pope séeing no remedy, did earnestly intreat him, that he would gouerne himselfe so wisely in [Page 21] his affaires, that no tumult or controuersie might thence arise▪ and so after great feasting, with many kinde and friendly farewels, hée sent him backe againe into his owne countrey.
The 13. Apologue, wherein is shewed the originall of the Popedome.
AS some were talking of the controuersies betwixt the Lutherans and the Pope: one said that at the Councell of Trent the Lutherans would sure ruinate the Popedome, for they would shew plainly that there was neuer any Bishoppe of Rome rightly Pope, and proue not onely by histories, but also by the holy Scriptures, that S. Peter was neuer at Rome, and therefore could not leaue the Popedome to the Bishops of Rome, which Iesus Christ (if men will belieue it) left vnto him: but another answered him, and said, if they haue no other reasons, they can neuer bring their enterprise to passe, for to ouerthrow the Popdome they must prooue, not that S. Peter was neuer at Rome, but rather that the great Diuell of hell was neuer there: and then it will necessarily follow, that no Bishop of Rome was Pope, seeing [Page 22] that, not S. Peter, but the Diuell brought the Popedome thither: now because they shall neuer be able to prooue that the Diuell hath not beene at Rome, which is the chiefe and principall Citty where the Diuell keepes his residence, it followes that by this meanes, they cannot ruinate the Popedome.
The 14. Apologue, by which is shewed that the Pope as Pope, may erre.
IT happened on a time as Pope Clement was at dinner, that certaine of the Monks disputed in his presence, whether the Pope might erre or no? and after long disputations they concluded that he might erre as he was man, but not as Pope; and the Pope giuing eare vnto them said, you are dissembling flatterers, for we erre dayly in many things, & neuerthelesse we are Pope still. Then one of them answering said, that when he erred it was as hee was man, and not as Pope; to whom the Pope replied thus: when we bestow Bishoprickes, it is certaine that wée doe it as Pope, and yet therein we often erre in conferring them on wicked persons, estéeming them to bee honest men. To this the Monks knew not what to answere hauing [Page 23] not onely the truth, but also the Pope himselfe against them.
The 15. Apologue, by which is shewed that the Pope ought not to haue dominion in the temporall estate.
THe Emperor on a time demanded of Pope Paul, whether the same man might lawfully be both Pope and Emperor? The Pope fearing least that the Emperor (who was then without a wife) would make himselfe Pope also, said that it could not bee, alleadging many reasons for it, especially this, that a man could not at the same time well gouerne things spiritual, and temporall both. Then the Emperor said, and why then will you be both Pope and Emperor, and in signe thereof not onely vse the Miter as Pope, but also the Imperiall Diadem as Emperor? Leaue off therefore (as it is fit, the Dominion, and gouernment of the temporall estate, and let it suffice you to be Pope: this if you will doe of your owne accord, I shall take it kindly, and inrich and exalt your kindred to great dignity; and the succeeding Popes shall be so weake, that they shall not bee able to hurt them; but if you will not doe it in [Page 24] kindnesse, we shall be constrained to make you do it by force. The Pope understanding this purposed to giue his sonne Peter Loys all the lands of the Church, and was about to giue him Parma and Placentia, but his enterprize was hindred both by the Councell, as also by the losse of Placentia, and the death of his sonne, but especially by his own death, so that he could not reuenge himselfe of the Emperor as he had determined.
The 16 Apologue, by which is discouered the excessiue pride and folly of the Popes.
CErtaine men were talking of Princes, Kings and Emperors, and one of them said, that their greatnes did cause that many were found amongst them so proud, that they did forget themselues to bee but men, and so made their folly knowne vnto the world; but I pray you, said another of the company, was euer any of them knowne so proud and deneid of wit, and discretion, that they perswaded themselues, that they were Gods, as the Popes estéeme themselues to bée.
The 17. Apologue, in which is shewed the vanity and folly of those which place their Daughters in Monasteries.
THere was a Gentleman of Sienes, who (bring not able to giue a great dowry with his daughter) was determined to place her in a Monastery; and first communicating his purpose with a friend of his, he said, I would willingly marry my daughter, but without the utter ruine of my estate, I am not able to disburse a thousand Florins, and therefore I am determined to place her in a Monastery. But his friend said vnto him, you shall spend much more in making her a Nunne; for first you must pay to the Monastery two hundreth Florins for her dowry, and afterward you shall spend so much in habites, surplices, mochouirs, vailes, Images of our Lady, ornaments of her Chamber, with many other curiosities, & which is more in a sumptuous Banquet first whē she is inuested, secondly when she professeth, that you shall find no end; wherefore all being well considered, you shall, find that with much lesse damage to your estate, you may marry your Daughter to some honest man, according to [Page 26] the ordinance of God, then contrary to the same, prostitute and abandon her to those adultrous Monkes, who burne continually with the fire of concupiscence as they well deserue: because they vow chastity which is not in their power, and contemme the remedy which God of his grace hath giuen to the humane kinde against this concupiscence, which is the holy marriage instituted of God in Paradice, and honored by the presence of our Lord Iesus Christ in Cana of Galilee, where he did his first miracle. This counsell so well pleased the Gentleman that he resolued to marry his daughter.
The 18. Apologue, by which is shewed vs what commonly is the pride of the Pope, and faith of his Prelates.
A Cardinall being sicke, and likely to dye, made his confession; and his Confessor amongst other things demanded of him whether he had worshipped one God alone? And he answered and said, knowing wel that I ought to worship but one God and one Christ; and seeing that the Pope is God and Christ on earth, for feare least I should worship two Gods and two Christs, I haue abandoned [Page 27] the inuisible God in heauen, and in his stead haue adored the visible God on earth, and therefore haue alwayes worshiped the Pope as my God and Christ, and on him haue grounded all my faith and hope, him haue I honored, loued, feared, praised, magnified and glorified as my God. Then the Confessor said that there was but one God and one Christ, and that the Pope was neither God nor Christ: although indéed the abused world did accompt him as his Vicar. When he had thus spoken the Cardinall cryed out vpon him, and said thou art a foole and a very hereticke too, if thou beléeuest that the Pope is Christs Vicar on earth, for then it would necessarily follow that Iesus Christ were greater then the Pope; but on the contrary I would thou shouldst well know, that if Iesus Christ should come visibly to Rome, the Pope would not entertaine him, if hee did not first humble himselfe before him, acknowledgeing him to bee his superior, yea and also kisse his Pantosle.
The 19. Apologue, by which is shewed the great men of the world, what they ought to doe.
A Cerretan, or seller of pardons, ariued at a citty, w e authority to deliuer soules out of Purgatory, and many went vnto him to obtaine this deliuerance. Wherefore the Gouernour of the Citty communded him to shew his buls, and when he perceiued by them that he had all the power of the Pope, hee, demaunded of him how many soules hee could deliuer out of Purgatory? The Cerretan answered, that the power of the Pope (which he had) was infinite, and that by the same he could deliuer as many soules as were in Purgatory, although they were in number infinite: and moreouer, that hee could preserue all from comming thither, which should at any time deserue to bee tormented there. Then the Gouernour said vnto him, for how many crownes wilt thou deliuer all the soules of those which either are dead or shhall hereafter die within my Iurisdiction? And bée demaunded two hundred crownes, (contenting himselfe to gaine foure hundred by the bargaine, for the odde hundred he had [Page 29] disbursed for the buls, and authority which he had bought of the Pope) the Gouernour was contented with the price and paid him the money, and caused him to make a publike and authentike acknowledgement of the sale. Then presently he let the Priests and Monkes which were his subiects vnderstand how the matter went: aduertising them that they should no more take paines to read their Breuíere, nor to say Masses and prayers for those which either were dead or should at any time dye within his liberties: but that they should praye onely for the liuing, or if they would pray for the dead, that they should pray for those only which died out of his dominions, (but thee knew well enough that they would pray for none but those they were paid for.) Then hee caused the yearely donatiues and guifts which his Subiects had subiects had bestowed for saying of Masses, and Seruices for the dead to be brought vnto him, and therwithall (conuerting it to a good vse) hee built an Hospitall for the poore and maintained a great number therein for the reuenewes were very great.
The 20. Apologue, whereby is shewed the folly of them who beleeue that the Councells cannot erre.
CErtaine Iudges on a day went and visited their Bishop, and finding him very busie in the study of the holy Scriptures, they demanded of him why he did so trouble and weary himselfe with study? Because said he, I must goe to the Councell of Trent, where wee must iudge not of things which concerne the goods, life, and honor of men, as you do in your iudgements, but of things which concerne the safety of mens soules. You are unwise (said the Iudges vnto him) to study for that purpose, séeing that when you are at the Councell, you cannot erre in your determinations; (for the Councells cannot erre.) If that wee temporall Iudges were as sure that wee could not erre in our iudgements, wee would neuer study the lawes, then the Bishop said vnto them. Ye say true indéed, and for that cause many of vs Bishops who come to the Councels are very ignorant and vnlearned: but I study that I may be able to conferre and talke with other men of matters which shal be presented vnto [Page 31] vs, or haue bin heretofore obiected by the Lutherans for although wee cannot erre in our publike determinations, it doth not follow that we cannot erre in our priuate talks, and conference: nay if you were there present, yée should heare not only differences and dissentions amongst vs, but also manifest contradictions. The Iudges said vnto him, that for all this he did ill to study, séeing that by how much the more learnedly and truely hee spake of Iesus Christ, by so much the more he should be estéemed a Lutheran.
The 21. Apologue, whereby is shewed the folly of them who beleeue in the Pope.
IN the time of Pope Boniface the seauenth who was very wicked, as commonly the rest of the Popes are) there was in Rome a foolish and wicked fellow possessed with such a frenzie that he thought himselfe to bee the Popes Lieutenant wherefore going vp and downe Rome, he would bragge that he had all the Popes authority: so that all laughed at his folly, except one Romane Gentleman who beléeued him, and there vpon bought of him diuers offices and liuings; which when the Cittizens vnderstood they began to mock [Page 32] and laugh at him more then at the foole, saying vnto him that he had lesse wit then the other, because he belieued him; withall shewing him certaine reasons why he should not giue credit to the fooles words, as first because he shewed no warrant, or authentike testimonie from the Pope; secondly, because the Pope was then present at Roome, so that hee could well execute his office in his owne person, and therefore it was not likely that hee would ordaine a Vicar in his place: Lastly, that if the Pope would make one, hee would by no meanes substitute such a wicked foole as this fellow was to exercise his authoritie in his stead. But the Gent. answered them and said, by your owne reasons ye are better fooles then I, in that you belieue that this Boniface is the Vicar of Iesus Christ: for first yee haue no warrant or testimonie for it from the holy Scriptures, which are the word of God. Againe, yee know well that Iesus Christ in spirit is alwaies present with his Church, so that he can well rule and gouerne it himselfe. Thirdly, if hée would haue another gouerne in his place, without all doubt to an office and gouernment of such great importance, hee would neuer haue chosen such a foolish and wicked man, as this [Page 33] Pope Boniface is. These reasons so well pleased them all, and were found so sufficient, that presently they droue the Pope out of Rome. But indeed men were at that time wiser, then any that liue in these our dayes.
The 22 Apologue, in which is declared the impiety of them who commit the charge of soules to vnworthy persons.
THere was on a time at Rome a Cardinall of Germanie, who intreated a learned Doctor who then liued at Rome, that hee would vndertake the charg of instructing his sons, offering him for his paines fiue hundred crownes by the yeare. And being asked by the Doctor when hee would send them to Rome? hee answered that he would not send them thither at all: then (said the Doctor) it is vnpossible that I should be their maister, for I haue determined neuer to leaue Rome; I care not (said the Cardinall) whether you be present with them or no, so that you will onely beare the name of being their Maister. That condition the Doctor willingly accepted: wherefore the Cardinall, as one very ioyfull thereat, went presently and recounted all to the Pope, saying, hee now thought [Page 34] himselfe well eased of a great charge; but the Pope laughing at him, said, what profit, I pray you, will arise to your Children from such a Maister who will neuer bee with them, by this you shew the small loue that you beare vnto them. Then the Cardinall answered and said, you shew much lesse loue to your spirituail Children, in that you appoint Italians and other strangers to bee Pastours ouer the poore Germanes, who notwithstanding neuer come at vs; insomuch that many of them know not where their Bishoprickes lie; and yet things which concerne the soule are of farre greater consequence then letters: moreover I haue prouided for my children a master who is a learned man, and well able to teach and instruct them: but you ordaine to be Bishops ouer the People, those who are not onely sinfull, and wicked, but also vnlearned and ignorant beasts: wherefore if I in this case haue not satisfied my duety, assure your selfe that you much lesse satisfie yours, in placing such Pastours (or rather Wolues) ouer the sheepe of Iesus Christ: the Pope knew not what to answer, but being very angry, bad him depart out of his sight.
The 23. Apologue, by which is discouered the foolish presumption of them, who teach new rules and manners of liuing like Christians.
POpe Iulius the second, hauing caused the Church of S. Peter to be pulled downe with an intent to reedifie it after a more beautiful and stately manner, commanded a pourtrait thereof to be drawne by the chiefest Architect and contriuer of buildings which was then to be found, which he did so exactly that the Pope liked well of it as soone as hée saw it, and gaue charge that the foundation of the building should bee laid according therevnto. Now at the same time, there were certaine Maister Carpenters, who knew how to make nothing well, vnlesse it were a Boxe or a Coffir, or such small matters, yet notwithstanding did so much presume of themselues, that euery one of them did vndertake to drawe a seuerall Platforme of S. Peters Church; which being compared with the former, resembled rather little cottages then any thing else. Finally euery one being desirous y t the Pope should approue his for good, and build the Church according to it, made such meanes that [Page 36] the Pope had the sight of them; but hee mocking at their foolish presumption said, vnto them, our purpose is to build but one Church and therefore one platforme will suffice, and already wee haue procured one, which, wee thinke to be absolute; what therefore would you haue vs doe with your cabbins? then the Carpenters answered and said, Holy Father, you know that there is but one Church of God, and Iesus Christ the Soueraigne maister and builder thereof, hath giuen it an absolute and most perfect forme, and rule of liuing as Christians ought to doe, approued euen of you Popes to be very good, and neuerthelesse you receiue and approoue other rules and formes of liuing, made by Basill, Benet, Dominicke, Francis, and many other, who haue presumed so far (at least as the Munkes would haue men beléeue) as to ad their foolish inuentions & humane traditiōs to the most perfect rule of the commandements of our Lord and only lawmaker Iesus Christ: why therefore will not youreceiue and allow of the platformes, and portraites which wee haue drawne? But the Pope made answer that theirs was nothing worth, because they did not serue (as the other did) either to the augmentation, [Page 37] or preseruation of the Popedome.
The 24 Apologue, wherin are condemned humane rules and commandements touching spirituall liuing, together with a demonstration of the euil which proceedeth thence.
IN the yeare of Iubile, two holy men went vnto Rome, to see if it were true (as they had heard) that there were so many hypocrisies, superstitions, Idolatries, and impieties? And that they might bee the better resolued, they went vnto Cardinall Chietie, as to the fountaine of all, and demaunded of him what a man ought to doe to be saued? and hee answered that hée ought to enter into his religion. As, said they, there is but one Christ one Gospell, one law of God, one Baptisme, and one faith: so there is but one true Religion, which is that of Iesus Christ. Then the Cardinall answered, I would haue him enter into my religion, without departing from that of Christ; that cannot bée (replied the other) for the Conuentual Friers of S. Francis, the Friers of S. Francis, the Friers of the Obseruance, and of the loue of God, the Friers of S. Clare, and the Boscaines, and the Cabuchines, haue all one [Page 38] same rule of S. Francis, and yet the same person cannot at the same time bee of two of these religions, and then how can one at the same time be of Christs religion and yours. seeing the rule of yours is repugnant to that of Christ? that is as much to say, as that a Dunke of S. Francis may be at the same time a Chartreuse also, which is a thing vnpossible, for as much as their orders are not onely different, but in many things quite contrary. Then the Cardinall said, although the rule of my religion be different from that of Christ, yet is it not contrary: but (said they) the rule of Iesus Christ is so perfect, that nothing can be added therevnto, for wee ran doe no good worke to the glory of God but we are obliged vnto it, by the most perfect law of God, which commaundeth vs to honour him aboue all thinges, in all places, at all times, and by all meanes possible: wherefore if your religion being (according to your owne speeches) different from that of Christ, doe commaund any thing which you are not tyed to doe by the law of God, it followeth that it is all naught, seeing that God hath commaunded all thinges which are good. Now that those things which you commaund besides the commandements of God [Page 39] are all bad, and wicked, yea and contrary to those thinges which God commaundeth, it appeareth plainely, for you forbid your sect to preach, and Christ would haue the Gospell preached in season and out of season: you would not haue them labour, and take paines, and God commaundeth that wee should get our bread with the sweate of our browes: you exempt them from their obedience to their Parents, Princes, and other Maiestrates, and God commaunds the contrary, that wee honour our fathers and mothers, and be obedient to the higher powers; you forbid them to marry, although they haue not the guift of contineutie, but God on y e contrary inuits men to holy marriage; you commaund them to abide alwaies in the Monastery, although they bee indued with good guifts from aboue to do some good and holy worke abroad: and so of all your ceremonies, where with men being fast bound they are depriued of the true spiritual Christian liberty, and in nothing subiect and obedient to God, and the holy spirit. The Cardinall knew not what to answer, but said, that although their words were true, yet the Pope could dispense with all, and so hee bad them farewell.
The 25. Apologue, whereby are shewed the sottish frenzies of the Munkes and Nunnes,
THe Ambassadour of Soudan being at Florence, demaunded on a day of Lawrence de Medicis, why he could not see fooles running vp and downe the streetes of Florence? as hee had séene commonly in other Citties? And he answered and said because wee keepe all our fooles locked vp in diuers places, according to the aduersity of their frenzies: and then leading him forth of Florence, hee shewed him diuers Monesteries of Monkes, and Nunnes, saying vnto him, that therein dweiled all their hee and shee fooles: And after the Embassadour had séene them and those also which were within the Cittie, hee did exceedingly wonder at the great number of fooles: and especially that so many, and so different frenzies could enter into the braine of man.
The 26. Apologue, where in is discouered the great ignorance of some of the Popes Prelates.
THe Reuerend Fathers of the Councell of Trent, disputed among themselues about Peters supremacy of the Church; indeauoring to proue by the words of our Lord Iesu Christ to Peter, when he said, Thou art Cephas, that the Pope was head of the Church, but some of them said that it could not be thereby proued, because that Cephas was a Syriacke word and did signifie (firme) or a (stone) but there was one, who bearing great affection to the French Tongue, said vnto them, you know not what you say, for Christ in that place doth not speake in the Synacke but in the French tongue, wherein Chef signifieth (a head) and though he said Cephas, yet is it pronounced Chephas, so that he spake both French and Latine.
The 27. Apologue, by which is shewed the originall of the Popedome, and now it came to be so great.
ONe demanded of his friend, what was the Originall of the Popedome, and [Page 42] how it did increase to such an extraordinary greatnesse? And the other answered and said; the Emperour Phoca planted it, the Kings of France did water it, and the Diuell of Hell hath giuen it increase: but little ones shall cut it downe, and simple ones shall make it into Fagots, and Iesus Christ will consume it by the fire of his holy spirit.
The 28. Apologue, by which is shewed the great pride of the Popish Bishops.
THere was a Bishop who had beene a diligent and learned Preacher; hee being abroad in his Diocesse in the Lent, was intreated by many, that he would giue them a Sermon as he was wont; but hee answered and said; these twenty yeares or there about I haue taken great paines in preaching, only that at length I might ascend to the dignity of a Bishop: wherefore ye are very simple and foolish people to thinke that I will now descend, and debase my selfe so much, as of a Bishop to become a Preacher.
The 29. Apologue, where in is discouered the folly of the Pope and Papists.
IN the time of Pope Leo, there were ten notable fooles running about the streets of Rome; all which on a day the Pope sent for to make him pastime as he was at dinner and assoone as he saw them hee laughed exceedingly at the diuersity of their follies; now there was one amongst them who thought himselfe to be Emperor of all the world, and as an Emperor did command the other fooles and distributed amongst them the estates and gouernments of the World; doing it with such a viuacity and grace, that the beholders iudged him to bee throughly perswaded that bee was an Emperor indéede. Therefore the Pope saide vnto them about him, this poore man is maruellous foolish, that in so great pouerty, hee doth perswade himselfe to bee an Emperour. But the foole hearing it turned towards him and said: You are more foolish and boyd of vnderstanding then I, in that (beeing a sinfull man) you are made to beléeue, that you are a God on Earth: and your [Page 44] followers are berier fooles then my companions, for although I giue them Kingdomes and gouernments of the world, yet they giue no credit to me at all: but your followers do stedfastly beléeue that you are able to giue them Indulgences, Benedictions, Iubilées, Absolutions, Remission of sinnes and also Paradice it selfe. Then the Pope said let not a man meddle with fooles, if hée would not haue the truth told him without flattery: and so he departed from them.
The 30. Apologue, wherein is discouered and condemned the Superstition of Bells.
THe Priestes and Monkes of a certaine Citty on a time when a great tempest was likely to arise, betooke themselues to the Church and rang out the bells, to turne away the storme and tempest; wherefore the gouernour of the Citty (noting it) on another time when a tempest was likely to ensue, caused all the Canons and great pieces which were vppon the walls to bee shot off toward that way, which hee thought the tempest would come: & the Bishop demanded of him why hée did so: and he said, first I pray you [Page 45] tell me why you caused all the Bells to bee rung out at such a time? And the Bishop answered that it was to chase and driue away the Diuells, who were the causers and stirrers vp of the tempest in the Ayre. Then the Gouernour said, although I know that the Deuils doe no more feare the sound of the bells then the Dawes which sit in the towne yet I commanded these Canons to be shot off to the end that you might plainely perceiue, that if they did not feare the terrible thunbring noyse of them, they would much lesse be affraid of the sound of your Bells.
The 31. Apologue, by which is shewed the great folly of those that beleeue that God hath giuen the charge of beasts to Saints.
A Certaine noble Lady of France being at y e point of death, was exhorted by her Confessor to dye willingly; assuring her selfe, that without all doubt she should go presently to Paradice, and she answered and said I could bee very well content to goe to Paradice were it not for one respect: and being asked by her Confessor, what could hinder her from going thither willingly? shee said, seeing that God (as you say) hath giuen the [Page 46] charge of hogges to Saint Anthony, of herses to Saint Elie, and of many other Birds and Beastes to diuers holy Men and Women, and hath not yet giuen the charge and gouernment of geese, turkes, and hennes, to any one: I am afraid, if I goe to Paradice that he will giue me that office which will much derogate from the nobility of my stock; wherefore if it will please God to commit the tuition of any Beasts to mee, when I come thither. I would haue you pray that it may be of little dogs: because it is the custome of Ladies and Gentlewomen to haue them alwayes about them.
The 32. Apologue, by which is discouered the sottish superstition of them who thinke they can deliuer soules out of Purgatory, by saying the Masses of Saint Gregory.
A Cerretan, (that is a Pardon-monger, or popish Marchant) told the people, as hee trauelled about the Contrey, that hee could say a prayer of Saint Gregory, which was of such force and vertue, that as often as he said it, he fréed a soule out of hell: (alwayes prouided, that hee had a crowne paid him beforehand) & because many resorted vnto [Page 47] to him, to obtaine this deliuerance for their friends, The Cordeliers inraged against him, sought him out and calling him Hereticke, and fountaine of all billanies, demanded of him who had told him, that by saying a prayer of Saint Gregory, hee might free a Soule out of Hell? Then the Cerretan said, and who assured you that by saying thirty Masses you might, deliuer Soules out of Purgatory? the Cordeliers answered that it was reueiled to S. Gregory (as hee was saying Masses, to retire a Soule out of Purgatory) that after the thirtieth the soule, was deliuered. In like manner also, said the Cerretan, at the prayer of the same Saint Gregory the soule of the Emperour Traian being in Hell, was transported into Paradice, as hée vnderstood by Reuelation; Oh (said the Cordeliers) it is no maruell if hee deliuered him, because hee was Pope, and an holy man, which thou art not; and moreouer, Traian had some feare of God, but thou sayest, that thou art able to deliuer all Infidells as well as other: so said the Cerretan) when S. Gregory deliuered the soule out of Purgatory he was Pope and an holy man, which you are not; beside that soule had not beene any [Page 48] long time there, but you say you can deliuer all indifferently. Then the Cordeliers said, it was by a singular priuiledge that hee deliuered the soule of Traian, which is not giuen to thée, in like maner (said the Cerretan) if he did deliuer the soule out of Purgatory as you say) it was by an espetiall grace granted vnto him, and not to you. Last of all the Cordeliers told him that he knew not what prayer S. Gregory said when he deliuered the soule of Traian out of hell. And doe you (said the Cerretan) know what Masses he said when hee deliuered the soule out of Purgatory? Wherefore doe yee say nothing against mee, and I will say nothing against you, and let vs not discouer one anothers marchandise, but onely study how we may more and more rosen and beguile the simple people, and so they agréed.
The 33. Apologue, whereby is shewed the folly of them that worship Images.
AN olde man of the third order of S. Francis, hauing séene in the Temple Saint Francis and S. Dominicke? at the feet of the Crucifire, the one on the right hand and the other on the left, and not knowing what they meant, demanded of his Confessor [Page 49] why one of them was painted with with wounds and scars and the other without? and the Confessor said, because that S. Francis had those wounds imprinted in hint and not Saint Dominicke Is one of them (said the olde man) Saint Francis, and the other Saint Dominicke? yes (said the Confessor.) Then the old man cryed out saying, O wretch that I am! I alwaies thought they had beene the two théeues betwéene whom Christ was crucified; and which is worse, because that in the temples of Saint Dominicke, he that is without wounds is painted on the right hand of Christ, and the other on the left, and on the contrary in your Temples he that hath the wounds is on the right hand, and the other on the left: by reason that I could not discerne, which was the good théese, I haue held them both for sinners and neuer worshipped either of them.
The 24. Apologue, wherein is discouered the folly of them who thinke they may bee iustified and saued by their owne workes.
IT happened that a Citizen of Geneua had so grieuously offended the Prince Dorie, that he condemed him to bee a Gallislaue as [Page 50] long as he liued; and when he was placed in the Gallies, he was counselled by his friends to procure the sauour and mediation of the Lord Ianotin Dorie; for (said they) hee is so deare vnto the Prince, that he can easily obtaine pardon for you; but hée answered that hee did not beléeue hée either would or could profit him therein at all, and therefore hee would not make suit vnto him; principally because he did hope of himselfe, without any other meanes to regaine the sauour of the Prince; which that he might bring to passe, he busied himselfe in making tooth-pickers: and although by his continuall labour hee could not get sufficient to furnish himselfe with necessaries; yet so foolish hee was, that he thought by his tooth-pickers at length to heape together such a treasure, that by it hee might bee able not onely to pacifie the anger of the Prince, get his fauour, and deliuer himselfe from the Gallies, but also with the surplusage to become a rich and wealthy Seigneur; and it chanced that two Capuchin Fryers on a time, came to the same Gally to passe there into Naples; and séeing this poore man haue rest neither night nor day (for when hee left rowing he betooke himselfe to his making of toothpickers) they demanded [Page 51] of him, what moued him to doe so? and he answered and said. I hope by the gaine which I make by this my labour to purchase the fauour of the Prince, and to becom a rich man; then the Capuchins said vnto him, that hee was a very foole to thinke to attaine vnto that, onely by meanes of his tooth-pickers, and that they could more preuaile in procuring him fauour with the Prince, then the Lord Ianotin: But (said he) if yee well consider it, see Capuchins are verier fooles then I; in that you thinke and stedfastly beléeue, that by your good workes you may be able to free your selues from sinne, and seruitude of the Diuell, wherein you are, pacifie the anger of God towards you, purchase his fauour and become his children, and inheritors of the kingdome of heauen: and which is more, that your said workes can more preuaile with God, then Iesus Christ his welbeloued Sonne, in whom hee is well pleased.
The 35. Apologue, by which is shewed what the Popes are and what is their authority.
THe Pope beeing dead, the Cardinalls could not agrée in the creation of [Page 52] a new Pope: for the Gibellins, would haue a Gibellin, and the Guelfes would haue a Guelfe to be Pope; and although they had already béene some monthes in the Conclaue, yet were they still so obstinate, that euery one of both parts had sworne that hee would much rather make the Diuell Pope, then one of the contrary faction. Now the Diuell well knowing their mindes, appeared to them in the forme of a man, and shewed them, that by delaying the creation of a Pope, they did wrong both their Church and themselues exceeding much; and that (seeing they could not otherwise agrée) they were best to choose him to be their Pope, saying vnto them; If you will elect mée I can greatly increase the Popedome, seeing that none of the Counsells of the great Seigneurs are hid from mee: and moreouer being that I haue no Children, nor Parents, I will bestow all the benifices and offices, and distribute all the treasure of the Church; only amongst you and your friends These conditions so wel pleased them all, that they agréed to elect him, and called him Siluester the second. After this, it happened on a time that a Cardinall returning from the Popes Pallace, was demanded of a friend of his which [Page 53] met him from whence he came? And hee answered that he came from the Pope, of whom he had obtained plenary indulgence, and remission of all his sinnes: but his friend said, what? Do you not know who is our Pope? Doe you beléeue that the Diuell is able to forgiue sinnes? Then the Cardinall replied and said; other Popes héeretofore haue béene sinners not onely full of vices, but also the very fountaines of all impiety, and oftentimes worse then the Diuell himselfe; and do you thinke that, being such they had power to giue indulgence, and remission of sinnes? Yes (said the other) as they were Popes, though not as sinners. In like manner (said the Cardinall) he that is now Pope hath power to giue remission of sinnes, as he is Pope, although not as Diuell: so that it sufficeth that they be Popes to saue men; for the rest it is all one, whether they be good or bad, men or Diuells; but I (said the other) beleeue that onely Iesus Christ can forgiue sinnes, and not the Diuell nor his Ministers, and that God hath ordained the Diuells to be his executioners and not his Apostles.
The 36. Apologue, by which is shewed the folly of the Romans, who yeeld themselues to the Pope.
THe Lord Duke of Melphe being sent for by the Emperor to vndertake the gouernment of Sienes tooke Roome in his way and visited Pope Clement ▪ who disswaded him from going thither, saying that the Sieniands were madbraind and furious people, and that if any toy should come into their heads, they would either kill him, or chase him thence with great disgrace; but the Duke answered and said, I beléeue that to be true which your Holinesse saith, that if they should become madmen they would either kil me or driue me thence; and yet I hope I shall spéed well enough: for the Romanes would doe the like to you, if they should become wise men, & yet you are here at Rome without feare; without all doubt (then said the Pope) if the Romans were well in their wits they would not indure me, and therfore we kéepe them alwayes drunk with the swéet Maladeies of S. Peter.
The 37. Apologue, by which is in part shewed what and how great the authority of the Popes is.
AN Astrologer went on a time to Pope Paul, and foretold him that in the yeare 1549▪ the heauens by reason of some maligne influences, would threaten him a very grieuous malady, with great danger of death and the Pope demanded of [him] whether he knew any remedy? Yes (said the Astrologer) if you will goe that yeare to Germany, and abide there, you shall auoid the danger; that is true without doubt (said the Pope) for the Germans will take away my life, and by that meanes I shal be deliuered from all maladies: but tell me, may not I auoyd the danger, if I continue still at Rome? there is but one way (said the Astrologer) which is (seeing you haue the Keyes of Heauen) that you kéepe them fast shut all that yeare, so that the influences may not descend vpon you. Is that sufficient (said the Pope?) Yes (said hee) for if the Soules which are spirituall, cannot pierce the Heauens, and enter into Paradice, unlesse you open them with your Keyes: the [Page 56] influences which are corporall can much lesse come downe vnto you if you kéepe them well shut vp in the heauens; but (said the Pope) what meanes may we vse to shut them? the (same said the Astrologer) which you vse in opening them: that is, make a signe of the Crosse, and command them to remaine shut. At this the Pope laughed and departed.
The 38. Apologue, wherein is discouered the cruelty and impiety of the Spanish inquisition.
THe Spanish Inquisitors (or rather Inquinators and defilers of the faith) being desirous to extort and violently take away the goods of a simple (but rich Countriman, cited him to appeare before them with an intent subtilly to examine him in all the Articles of faith; hoping, that being hee was a simple and ignorant fellow, altogether void of learning, they might easily intangle him in some of his spéeches & so put him to death as an hereticke, and lay hands on his goods. Well the Countryman at the day appointed was present, and they with seeming graue, & religious countenances demanded of him what he beléeued? and he said, I beléeue that [Page] which the holy Church belieues. Tell vs, said they what the holy Church belieues? that which I belieue said hee. And though they proposed diuers questions vnto him, they could not draw him out of this answer: for when they said vnto him, dost thou belieue that the Masse is a sacrifice agreeable to the will of God, and that it profiteth the dead? and that the breach of the commaundements of the Pope is a mortall sinne? hée answered still, I beléeue that which the holy Church beléeues. What (said the Inquisitours) dost thou beléeue nothing else, but that which the holy Church beleeues? Is it not sufficient (said the Countrey-man) that I belieue all which the holy Church beléeues? what I pray you would you haue me beleeue else? Then they asked him of whom hee had learned to answer in that sort? and hee answered and said, I learned it of our Curate, who visiting me that yeare I was sick, said vnto mee take great care of your selfe, and giue eare to that which I shall say: when you are at the point of death, the Diuels will come to tempt you, and to examine you subtilly concerning your faith, to the end they may insnare you in some of your words, and so carry your soule into hell, wherefore when [Page] they say vnto you, what dost thou beléeue? doe you say, that which the holy Church beléeues, and if they reply and aske what the holy Church beléeues? doe you say that which I beléeue; and take good heede that you answer nothing else, and then they cannot hurt you; now since that time I neuer forgot his counsell; wherefore when you cited mée, fearing I should haue to doe with Diuells, who would take away my goods and life, I thought good to gouerne my selfe according thereunto; In the end the Inquisitors could him that this answere was not sufficient, but that hee ought in perticuler to expresse what he belieued. Then hee said, If this answer be sufficient to satisfie all the Diuells in hell, and yet will not content you, it followes that you are worse then the very diuels: and so (they not knowing what to say to him) hee left them.
The 39. Apologue, by which is discouered the auarice of them, who desire to haue the charge of diuerse Churches.
THere was a young Iew at Rome, who said on a time to a Bishoppe of his acquaintance; [Page 59] I haue a wife betroathed vnto mée, but I will not marry her, vntill I can finde mee out another: for wée Iewes may haue many wiues, after the example of Abraham, Isaac, Iacob, Dauid, and many other holy men: then the Bishoppe said vnto him, you are vnwise in that first marry that which you haue, and if she be not sufficient for you then seeke for another. By your owne reason (said the Iew) you are farre more vnwise then I, in that hauing one Bishopricke, one Church to gouerne) you are not contented therewith, but abide here at Rome that you may get a second; first betake your selfe to that Church which you haue already, and endeauour to discharge your duty therein, and when that is done, if you finde your selfe able to satisfie another, then procure it: but if it be so that I hauing two wiues in the same house, cannot please them both, doe you thinke that you can discharg your duty toward two Churches when one of them is in France, & the other in Lombardie? doe you not vnderstand that if it be a hard matter to gouerne one woman well, it is a thing harder (without comparison) to gouerne one Church well? And therefore (as it appeareth plainely by the words of Saint [Page 62] Paul writing to the Philippians) in former time one Church had many Bishoppes, and many husbands, and such as were holy men, so that one alone could not satisfie it: but now at this day: ignorant and sinfull Bishoppes and Pastours, burne with an inordinate desire after many Bishopricks and Churches, whereas they are fit rather to gouerne an heard of Swine, then the Shéepe of our Lord Iesus Christ, dearely bought by the effusion of his most precious blood.
The 40. Apologue, by which is shewed the rediculous superstition of the three knots in the Cord of the Frier of S. Francis.
A Certaine man demaunded of the Cordeliers, whether it were necessary that their corde should haue three knots? and they answered that it was necessary, by reason of three bowes which they had made: for the knot belowe (said they) which oftentimes trayleth on the ground, signifieth our obedience: that in the midst (which by reason of of the often handling is filthier commonly then the rest) doth signifie our pure and vndefiled chastity: and the third knot aboue, whereby we tye our selues very straightly [Page 63] (vnlesse it be when we eate and drinke, for then indéede, fearing least our bellies should burst, wee vntie it) signifieth our strict pouertie.
The 41 Apologue by which is shewed the superstition of them who repugne and contradict the Gospell.
ON a time the best learned Iewes of the Synagogue of Rome, went to the Cardinall of England (being then at Rome) and praied him instantlie, that he would speake to the Pope for them, that without forsaking their Law, Customes and Ceremonies, they might be made Christians, saying, that on that condition they would be Christened, or else not: but the Cardinall answered, that they sought for a thing impossible: why (said the Iewes then) a man may well bee a good Iew, and a good Christian, séeing that Moses is not contrary to Iesus Christ, nor the Law to the Gospell: you say true (said the Cardinall) but Christ abrogated the Law, and all Ceremonies, because they were verified in him, so that at this time they are not onely annihilated and dead, but also deadly to all that obserue them any longer. To [Page 62] this the Iewes answered and said, we know well, that whosoeuer would now be circumcised in figure of the spirituall circumcision, which ought to be made by the Messias, as if it had not beene done already, should doe ill, but we circumcise our selues in remembrance of the spirituall circumcision already made by Christ: in like manner wee purifie our selues in remembrance, that we are already purified by Christ, also wee offer sacrifices for a memoriall of that diuine Lambe sacrificed by vs an the Crosse: and which is more, wee vse the Sacraments of Iesus Christ. But (said the Cardinall) you thinke to be iustified and saued by the obseruation of the Law, and the Christians belieue they shall be iustified and saued by grace: and therfore you cannot bee Iewes and Christians. The Iewes replied and said, this opinion (as wee thinke) is of the Lutherans, and conformable to that which of old tune was held by our Olders, who did belieue they should be saued, not by their proper iustice, but by the Messias, and therefore wee willingly agree therrunto: then the Cardinall said, that to be Christians they must abandon and forsake all Iudaisme: but the Iewes replyed saying, amongst you there are many [Page 63] Monkes, who thinke to be iustified and saued not by the obseruation of the Law of God, but by kéeping their owne lawes, and ordinances, inuented and forged by their owne braines: and also there are very many ceremonies amongst them which are not ionely without reason, foolish and ridiculous, but also full of impiety, and directly repugnant to the Law and Gospell of God: as not to be obedient to parents, or Princes, not to marry although they haue not the guift of continence, not to labour, not to preach, and a rabble of other fantasies almost innumerable: and yet for all this you hould them for Christians. Now if they may be Augustines, Iacobines, Cordeliers, of the order of S. Benet, Carmelites, Basilianists, Iesuits, Chartreuses, Teatines, and Christians also, with all these religions: why may not we well be Mosaicks & Christians, seing y e Moses doth in nothing repugne Christ but doth foretel him plainly, and the law doth comprehend in it the Gospell? All these reasōs so wel pleased y e Cardinal that he promised to speake to the Pope for them, not doubting but he would graunt their request, on this condition y e they would promise obedience to him, & [Page 66] be his followers, worshipping him as their God on earth.
The 42. Apologue, wherin is shewed the authority of the Pope.
TWo Romans on a time, were talking together of the power of the Popes; and one of them said that they as bicars of Iesus Christ on earth had all the authority that Iesus Christ had: but the other said vnto him, thou art much deceiued, for as here in Rome the deputy of the Pope hath authority onely to lay hands on wicked men, to put them into prison, to binde them, torture them, and finally to lead them to the place of execution: so the Pope, as he is Uicar of Christ, hath authority onely as the Taylor, executioner, and very scourge of God, to apprehend men which are reproued of him, with his external shew of probity and hippocriticall sanctity, to imprison them with vowes, to bind them with his commaundements, to torment them with his importable impositions, and in the end to put them to death eternally with his superstitions, Idolatries, impieties, false indulgences and absolutions: and moreouer he hath power as the Taylour, executioner, [Page 67] and Uicar of the great Diuell, to persecute, imprison, torment, burne and slay the elect of God, to the end that passing through the furnace of persecutions they may bee the more replendent, and glorious in the sight of God.
The 43. Apologue, whereby is discouered the folly of them which place their daughters into Monasteries.
THere was a Germaine Lady, who hauing many daughters, and not wherewithall to marry them according to their degree, bred them up, and instructed them in all kinde of honesty and vertue in her owne house, and some of her friends, comming on a day to sée her, said that it was small honour and credite for her, that she did not vse meanes to place her daughters abroad, and that it were better to marry them to Carremen and Posters, then to suffer them to spend the flower of their age in her house: The Lady answered, if my daughters were willing to marry, I could finde honest men to match them vnto, although they were not of so noble an house; but they are contented to remaine vnmarried. If they will not marry [Page 68] said her friends, you were best to place them in a Monestery, both to auoid all inconueniences, as also for the honour of the world: then the Lady said, I am not in that so vnwise as you, who keep your daughters locked vp in your houses, while they be little and young, at which time they might without any danger goe all abroad, and afterwards when by age they are marriageable (which is the tune wherein they ought either to bee well married or else most carefully looked vnto) you put them into Monasteries, and suffer them to goe abroad in publike. Doe you thinke that strangers, Monks, Priests, and Abbesses can haue greater care of your Daughters then your selues? as for mee, I cannot beléeue that any one will keep my daughters more carefully and faithfully then I my selfe, and mine house is a more holy and honourable Monastery for them then al these of the Priests and Monks, but if my daughters doe change their minds, and desire to hee married, I will prouide husbands for them, whereas yours not hauing the guift of continence, doe commit such things as turne to their owne confusion, and your great dishonour. To this her friends (beeing vanquished) with the [Page 69] truth) could not tell what to answere.
The 44. Apologue, whereby is shewed the folly of them who would haue God painted.
A Certaine Bishop, spake to a painter to drawe the picture of the Trinity in his Chappell, which the Painter promised to performe, so that hee would giue him a hundred Crownes for his paines, and also pay them before hand) alleaging that else he should not be able to buy colours, the Bishop hauing granted him that, hee also added that beeing the Trinity was a thinge very difficult to be painted, hee must haue the key of the Chappell, and haue none to sée it (that hee might haue no hindrance) vntill hee had finished the worke: to this also the Bishoppe agreed, and caused couerings of boords to bee set vppe against that place where hee would haue the Trinity painted, to the end that none might see what was done there. All thinges thus ordered, the Painter with his tooles and colours entred euery day for a months space, into the said Chappell, and busied himselfe secretly in painting, not the Trinitie, [Page 70] but other workes of his owne, which hée brought in with him, and after the end of a month, hauing carried forth all his owne thinges, and taken downe the bordes, hee went and deliuered the key to the Bishoppe saying that he had finished the worke, and that he had neuer in al his life made any thing so fayre and perfect as that was; whereat the Bishop reioyced so much, that hee gaue him sire crownes more, and as one full of oftentation and vaine glory, inuited some of his friends to goe with him to sée thée said Chappell, and so accompanied, bee entred into it, but casting his eyrs towards the wal where the trinity should haue beene painted, hee perceiued that there was no painting at all, wherefore in a great rage turning himselfe to the Painter, and said, and where I pray thee is the Trinity which thou didst bragge thou hadst made so fayre? why ur? (said the Painter) doe you not see it painted in the ayre? not I (said the Bishop) but what dost thou tell me of in the ayre, or not in the ayre, I would haue had thée painted it on the wall, and not in the ayre. At (said the painter) doe not you know, that a man can paint none but visible thinges on walls, and that it is vnpossible to paint inuisible things [Page 71] such as the Trinity is any where but in the ayre? the Bishop was constrained to laugh at this answer (although not well pleased) and to leaue the Painter with his hundred and sire crownes which he had pocketed.
The 45 Apologue, shewing hew little the reuerence of them is, who belieuing that Christ is in the host doe keepe him as it were in prison.
THere was a certaine countrey Curate, who (being greedy of gaine) would serue now at one Church, and now at another, and leaue his owne cure void: so that his parishioners oftentimes could not haue him to administres the Sacraments, nor to performe other necessary duties, in their greatest necessity. Wherefore after they had often tould him of it and saw no token of ament; by the consent of the whole Parish, they shut him vppe in a Chamber, and kept him vnder locke and key, that hee might bee present to serue them at their neede. But when the Bishoppe was certified of it, hee was greatly moued thereat, so that hee cited the Church-wardens of the Village to appeare before him, and sharpely [Page 72] reprehended them, but they, excusing themselues said that, that which they had done to their Curate, was not to doe him harme, but that they might haue him present when they stood in need of him, what (said the Bishoppe) are yee not ashamed to doe an act so worthy of blame, as to kéepe your Curate shut vp as it were in prison? why sir? (said the Church-wardens) you keeps not onely a simple priest, but Iesus Christ the great Pastour and Bishoppe of our soules, and the onely Sonne of the liuing God, shut vppe (as your selues confesse) vnder locke and key, in a little chest or bare, to serue you against maladies: and if you therein doe nothing worthy of dispraise, haue wee done ill in keeping our Curate in a faire and spacious Chamber? nay which is more, that Iesus Christ may bee present at your néede, yée kéepe him imprisoned not onely in a bore, but also in the host it selfe, wherein hee is so irrately held that hee cannot moue, and yet yee can easily (namely with speaking onely fine words as our Curate hath tould vs) make him discend thither, when yee please: but as for vs, the words, admonitions, and intreaties, which wee vsed to our Curate, preuailed [Page 73] nothing: for though wee did call and séeke and send for him, yet oftentimes hee would not come at vs. To conclude, the Bishoppe, (seeing they spooke reason) promised that their Curate should forsake them no more.
The 46. Apologue, wherein is shewed on whom the Popes Church is founded.
IN a disputation concerning the foundation of the Ramane Church, it was concluded that the Pope was the foundation thereof, because that Iesus Christ had said to Peter, Thou art Peter, and vpon this rocke will I build my Church: but there was one, who dissenting from the rest said, I am not of your opinion, but I thinke that it is much rather founded on the King of France, and the Emperour, for if they should become Lutherans, they would vtterly ruinate the Romane Church, because that all men, following their example would bee Lutherans also: but it would not bee so, if the Pope should turne Lutheran, for in that case it were to bee feared, that they which are Lutherans (by reason of the Antipathie [Page 74] betweene them and the Pope) would suddenly become Papists.
The 47. Apologue, wherein is shewed the foolly of them who giue credit to the Indulgence of the Portioncula.
THe Capuchin Cordeliers, hauing vnderstood that S. Francis had heretofore obtained of the Uirgin Mary full remission of sinnes, for all those who at any time should goe, or cause other to goe and enter for them into a certaine Chappell of hers, and knowing that they could not doe a worke of greater charitie then to deliuer soules from their sinnes, on a day fiue and twenty of them went to that Chappell: and did nothing else but goe in at one doore, and out at another: so they thought by that meanes they did euery day deliuer more then fiue and twenty thousand from their sinnes: therefore after a little time, supposing that they had deliuere all Christians of their sect, they were determined to enter also for Turks, Iewes Gentiles, and Heritiques: But the Cordeliers of the Obseruance, violently set vpon them, and braue them thence, saying that if they had gone foreward with their [Page 75] enterprise, none would haue come to the Portiuncula, because all would thinke themselues by their meanes fréed from their sins; which would be a cause of cooling the peoples deuotion and by consequence of withholding their almes from them.
The 48. Apologue, which sheweth what the Pope and Popish Bishops are.
ON a time there was a new Pope created while a Councell was held, and a friend of his came priuately vnto him, and said, holy Father vse meanes to dissipate the Councell, and doe not you trust the Bishops who are all Traitors; for if they were so bold to lay hands on Iesus Christ, and cast him out of the Church, to set the Pope in his place, doe not thinke they will spare you: but the Pope answered, wee are not at all afraid in that respect, for wee know certainely that the Bishops are so wicked that they doe not desire that an honester man then my selfe should be Pope, and a worse they can by no meanes finde.
The 49. Apologue, by which is shewed how great the Popes authority is.
THe Fathers of the Councell of Trent, desiring to increase the dignity of the Popedome, proposed whatsoeuer they thought fit to accomplish their purpose: and one of them said thus, I thinke it fit to bee enacted that S. Peter be héereafter painted with three keyes in his hand; and that to those pictures, which are already made, there be one added, to shew and declare vnto the world, that the Pope hath not onely the key of Paradise, and the key of Purgatory, but also the key of hell; and I greatly wonder, that the Bishops in precedent Councells had so little wisedome and discretion as to neglect a matter of such great importance. What (said the other Bishops) shall the Pope haue authority also in hell? without doubt (answered he) the Pope hath more authority there then in Paradice; the other replied, that the Pope could not deliuer the damned out of Hell. As more (said he) can he call backe those which are saued out of Paradice, although he haue the key thereof; the other Bishops answered that it was sufficient hee [Page 77] could send them thither, so (said the Bishop) he can send soules to the Diuells, and much easier too, then to Paradice: and being asked by what meanes, hee answered by his commandements, articles of faith, excommunications, maledictions and bad examples, and principaly, (according to the Lutherans) by his false doctrine. Of all these things the Pope was certified, and hee was content to doe as they should thinke conuenient.
The 50. Apologue, by which is condemned the foolish superstition of Confession.
A Certaine Priest demanded of his Bishop, whether hee ought not at confession to cause the sinners to shew the members where with they offended? saying that as it was the part of a good Phisition not onely to heare of his sicke patient what his disease is, but also to sée the soare (if it bee possible) and touch it with his hande, for feare least hee faile in the cure; so hee thought it his part being a spirituall Phisition, not onely to bee informed of the sinnes with their circumstances, but also to behold the Instruments [Page 78] wherewith they were committed; then being asked by the Bishop whether hee were not ashamed to behold the secret parts of man? he answered and said, If I ought not to be ashamed to sée with the eyes of my spirit (which are much more precious then those of my flesh) not onely the villanies of men and women, but also their members wherewith they committed them, and if you haue obliged sinners to reueale all the wickednes they haue committed, why should I thinke it shame to behold those parts which God hath made? It hath beene ordained (said the Bishop) that they should doe so, to the end that by the shame thereof, they might merit remission of their sinnes; and be moued to abstaine from the like afterward: for the same reasons (said the Priest) ought they also to shew the instruments. But where (said the Bishop) doe you finde in the Gospell that a man ought so to lay open himselfe? doe you not remember (said the Priest) that Christ said to the Leper, goe and shew they selfe to the Priest? now the Priest would see him naked that he might iudge whether he were cleane or not and I thinke that I ought to do the like, least I should iudge amisse Now I beléeue that you cannot finde in all the Gospell [Page 79] any place so fauorable to your confession as this is to mine. The Bishop not knowing what to determine in the matter, carried it with other Articles to the Councel of Trent, to yéeld the Bishops matter of disputation, and said, that he thought it sit to bee made an Article of faith.
The 51. Apologue, by which is shewed how easily the Popes followers deceiue the world.
THere came to Venice a Cerretan or Pardonmonger, who hauing bought of the Pope all his authority ouer the dead, did brag that he could deliuer soules out of hel, and because many fooles gaue credit to his words, he got great store of money: but the Popes Legat vnderstanding it, sent for him and asked him where he got authority to deliuer soules out of Hell? and he said, of the Pope, and withall shewed him his Bulls, the Legat (hauing read them) said, the Pope hath giuen thée authority ouer those which are in Purgatory, and not ouer those which are in hell. Then the Cerretan said, you are a very hereticke, who would thus limit the power of the Pope: tell mee I pray you is not God [Page 80] omnipotent? may not hee doe what hee will? can any one limit or bound the power of God? And the Legate answered no: so (replied the Cerretan) in as much as the Pope hath all the power of God, as his Lieutenant on earth, none can bound or restraine his power. But, said the Legate, wee read that out of hell there is no redemption, but that the paines thereof are eternall. Doe not you know (said the Cerretan that there is no rule so generall but hath some exception? that which you say is to bee vnderstood thus. That they cannot ordinarily bee deliuered thence: as heere in the prisons of Venice the malefactors kept therein cannot come out when ther will, notwithstanding the Signiory can set them at liberty when they please. But (said the Legate) what authority haue you ouer hell? The same (said hee) which the Pope hath ouer Purgatory; but I haue gained more by Hell then by Purgatory, and therefore if the Pope would follow my councell, hee might quickly fill his coffers with Treasure: the Legate asked him how? And hee saide, If hee would say that hee would deliuer Soules out of Hell; which might easily bee done, if (only) in that place of his Bulles, where [Page 81] hee saith, Deliuer soules out of Purgatory, hee would also adde deliuer Soules out of Hell. But the chiefe and principall matter of the businesse is, (said the Legate) not that hée onely say so in wordes, but that they bee deliuered in déed and effect. What (said the Cerretan) neede the Pope care whether they be deliuered or no, so that the world doth beléeue they are deliuered? Is it not sufficient for him, that hée may fill his Chests with the gaine which hee reaps thereby? But (said the Legate) it is a very hard matter to make the world beléeue that hée can deliuer soules out of Hell: nay (said the Cerretan) so much hath hée blinded and besotted the world that it is a very easie matter. Yea if you well consider it, you shall find that the Pope shall haue much lesse labour to perswade the poore world that he can deliuer Soules out of hell, then that he can frée them from Purgatory. For as touching Purgatory, hée hath two labours, the first to make men understand that there is a Purgatory; the second to make them beléeue that he can deliuer Soules thence: but as touching Hell, whereas euery one is already perswaded that there is one, there remaineth but one labour for him, which is to make men [Page 82] beléeue that he hath power to frée the damned from their euerlasting torments. These things pleased the Legat so well that he presently wrote thereof vnto the Pope.
The 52. Apologue, whereby is condemned the little reuerence of them who beleeue that Iesus Christ is in the Host.
THere was a Pope, who had loued his mother dearely, I therefore for a remembrance of her kept her Picture alwayes hanging in his presence Chamber; now the Embassador of Florence vnderstanding of it, as also in what part of the chamber it was placed, hauing occasion on a time to goe to the Pope, when he entred into the Chamber hee presently knéeled downe before the picture, turning his backside to the Pope, before hee had done his duty to him, and the Pope very much disdaining at it reprehended him for the little manners and reuerence he vsed towards him; but the Embassador excusing himself, said, we Florentines haue a custome that when we enter into our great Church of Florence, incontinently we do reuerence to the Image of the mother of Iesus Christ, turning our backs to her sonne, who (as they [Page 83] say) is in the host, and the Monkes of that Church say, that it is the will of Christ wée should doe so: wherefore I thought it would likewise haue pleased your Holinesse, that I should haue done reuerence to the picture of your Mother, before I did reuerence to you. The Pope laughing at it, said, that indeed hee had shewed a good reason for it.
The 53. Apologue, of the Miracles of the Diuell.
AS certaine Romans were talking of miracles, there was one of them said, when I thinke vpon Popes, Cardinals, Priests, and Monkes, and other of the irreligious, their liues, their workes, their credit, dignity and riches, I am almost perswaded that the Diuell hath done more miracles then Iesus Christ.
The 54. Apologue, whereby is discouered, the impiety of them who constraine men to worship Iesus Christ in the host.
THere was a Gentleman of Venice, who would neuer worship the host; for the which being on a time reprehended by the [Page 84] Popes Legate, hee answered and said, I haue not this long time worshipped Christ in the Sacrament, neither will I euer doe it; for if he bee present there at all (which I will presuppose to ease you of the labour of prouing it) yet as your selues say hee is not there vntill the Priest hath finished the words of consecration, with an intent to consecrate it. Now because hee alwaies speaketh the words with a low voyce, I am neuer certaine whether he speaketh them or noe: againe, if I did heare him speake the words, I am not sure that hee doth it with an intent to consecrate, especially, because I find by experience that the Priests are commonly lyers and dissemblers. Therefore being vncertaine that hee is in the host, and most certaine that hee is in heauen, what euill doe I, if I worship him in heauen, and not in the host? for knowing that the Massepriests haue very little faith or none at all; would you haue me commit to their credit a matter of such consequence as to leaue off worshiping of Christ where I am assured he is, to worship him where I altogether doubt of his presence? but put y e case that I were also sure that he is in the host, as I doubt not that he is in heauen: what iniury should I do [Page 85] to Iesus Christ, if I did worship him only in heauen & not in the host? I doe verily beléeue that he would not condemme such a fact; yet you repute me an heretike for worshipping of him where I know certainly he is, and not worshipping him wher I am perswaded he is not. And an hereticke let me be if I leaue off worshipping him in heauen, & begin to worship him where you would haue mee. And hauing thus said he went his way.
The 55. Apologue, wherein is discouered the folly and arrogancy of the Popes Prelats.
THe Bishoppes being assembled at Trent, w e a purpose to enact somthing beneficiall to the Romish Church, one of them said that it was good that euery one proposed his opinion therein, to the end they might adde somthinge to the dignity of the Popedome, as Bishoppes in precedent Counsels had done; but some answered y e it was sufficient to vphould and maintaine it in that scale of greatnes whervnto it had already attained, especially in these times wher many did endeauour to ruinate & bring it to distructiō; besids being it was already mounted to that height of dignity, [Page 86] that if they would haue it vnder heauen they could exalt it no higher. The other answered, that it was their parts not onely to preserue it, but also still to indeauour to augment and exalt it: for as (said hee) wee who liue in this world, are but trauellers and possengers, neuer, during this life, attaining to the wished end of soueraigne perfection, but aspiring dayly vnto it: so in like manner the Popedome is not yet come to the highest degree thereof. The Lutherans say that the holy spirit taught the Apostles all thinges necessary to saluation: but we hold on the contrary, that the same holy spirit doth day by day giue greater light vnto his Church, by reuealing new thinges vnto it: wherefore wee ought to hope that hee will reueale vnto vs some hidden secret which may serue much to the exaultation of the Popedome, Then one of the most ancient among them said, at the beginning they who came to visit the Bishop of Rome did kisse his mouth, as Iudas kissed Iesus Christ; but after hee was made Bishoppe of Bishops, they kissed his hand in token of greater reuerence: after that beeing made equal to the Emperour, whereas hee was mounted higher, it was fit that they should kisse [Page 87] lower, and therefore they did kisse his knée: at length when hee was ascended aboue the Emperours, they began to kisse his foote (as they doe at this day) because it was the lowest and basest member of man: but as yet they kisse the vpper part, and not the sole of the foote, but now seeing that the Pope is exaulted not onely aboue the Emperour, but also aboue Iesus Christ himselfe, I think it fit that the Crosse which hee hath heretofore worne on the vpper part of his shooe, be hereafter placed on the sole thereof; and that all henceforth who will doe reuerence to the Pope, euen to the Emperour himselfe, bee compelled to kisse the bottome of his foote; which will bee a very great exaultation of the Popedome; for wee shall thereby plainly shew that the Pope is so highly aduanced in glory, that hee hath troad vnder his feete the Crosse of Iesus Christ, and all holy thinges. Hee had scarcely ended these words, before all the Bishoppes (lifting vp their hands towards heauen, and giueing praise to God for the reuelation of so great a secret) began to say, that although in that Councell they did determine of nothing else but that, and could profite the Church by no other meanes yet they thought [Page 88] that they had well bestowed their cost and paines in comming togither. Wherefore in all hast they made it an article of faith. But they say that Pope Iulius was not well pleased with it, because hee was vnwilling to take so much paines as to lift vp his foote to all that came vnto him, as also because he feared that if he did lift vp his foote when hee was standing he should fal downe backward; so that the Bishops were very much discontented, because they thought that they had neuer made any decree better, or more profitable to their religion.
The 56. Apologue, by which is shewed the faction of humane religions.
A Certaine Romane Gent. caused an enigmaticall discription of the foure first facts of their religion to bee made in a fayre house which hee had in the Countrey. And in the first place there was painted a Monke of the order of S. Benet, with scroles and writings in his hand, and attournies, proctors, and notaries round about him; who taking Mounsier Monke by the habite did drawe him, one this way another that way, to shew that they are neuer out of strife and contention [Page 89] Next there was a young Frier of S Augustine, who hauing a faire beard did Kombe it with one hand, and held a looking glasse in the other, wherein hee beheld how hansome it was. And a little below that there was a Monke of S. Dominicke sitting with a faire young Damsel on her knées before him, with her bosome all open makeing her confession vnto him; and hee, that he might seems not at all to regard that spectacle, had his hand put before his eyes, but with his fingers spread abroad. In the last place was a Cordelier, who held downe his head, hauing his hood ouer his eyes, and his armes a crosse within his sleeues, so that hee seemed to bee a Saint; but out at one of his sleeues, there hung part of a roasted Capon which he perceiued not.
The 57 Apologue, wherein is discouered and reproued the ignorance of some of the Popish Prelates.
IN the Councel of Trent (as I haue heard) the Fathers did discourse of faith and good workes, wresting the Scriptures to proue that faith was not sufficient to iustifie vs, but that workes also were thereto required; [Page 90] And there was a Bishop amongst them of great learning as they thought, who said, I meruaile greatly that the Lutherans, dare say that faith alone doth Iustifie, seeing that there is a text in the Gospell which doth manifestly beat downe this their opinion, and I wonder much more at our selues, that none of vs heretofore could finde it out; for by this meanes we had long since shut vp the mouths of all the Lutherans, and constrayned them to magnifie good workes, and say with vs that they iustifie. And willing to reueale it vnto them, hée said, doe yee not remember, that it is written in the Gospell that the Apostles being in a shippe tossed with a tempest. Iesus Christ appeared vnto them on the waues, and that S. Peter (who was then a Lutheran beleeuing that faith alone was sufficient to saue him) said vnto Christ bid me come vnto thee on the waters? and that after Christ had commaunded him to come, hee leapt into the sea with his faith, and was almost drowned? Yea hee had been drowned in deed, if Iesus Christ had not miraculously aided him, and placed him againe in the barke, making him returne vnto works and rowing with the oare. Wherefore, let who will do as Peter did, & be drowned with [Page 91] their trust in Iesus Christ, for my part I am determined not to abandon the little ship but therein (for my better assurance) to remaine rowing with the Dare, and trauelling with workes, these his spéeches (as containing the reuelation of a rare and excellent secret) were entertained with a great applause by all the other Bishops, except the Bishop of Caua, who said thus, my opinion is that whereas Peter began to sinke, it came to passe not by reason of his faith, but of his infidelity and want of faith. And therefore Christ reprehending him said, O thou of little faith! why didst thou feare? As if he had said, If thou hadst béene strong in faith, thou mightst safely haue marched vpon the waues of the Sea. So that if other Bishops héeretofore did not produce this text of Scripture to proue that faith alone was not sufficient to saue vs, it was because they did plainely sée that it serued nothing to their purpose. Hée had scarce made an end of speaking, but a Bishop great in wealth and dignity, called the Greguetto, said that he was an hereticke, for his words did sauour strongly of heresie. Now the first Bishop (who was very angry that his reason which hee thought inuincible was gainsaid) when hée perceiued that his [Page 92] opinion was maintained by a man of such credit, hee ranne vpon the Bishop of Caua which contradicted him and paid him by the beard, and had done worse to him if the rest had not speedily come betwéene them, and parted them, and also reconciled them one to the other, inioyning them straitly that for the honour of the Councell they should neuer speake word of it.
The 58. Apologue, whereby is shewed what are the foundations of the Popedome.
IT is reported that the Emperor was desirous to haue three questions disputed and agreed vpon at the Councell of Trent. The first whereof was, whether Constantine could giue Rome, or did giue it to the Bishop of Rome? The second, whether it were true as Platina hath written, that the Emperor Phoca was hee who gaue power to the Bishop of Rome to be Superior and chiefe of other Bishops: and whether by that it did follow that the power of the Pope did depend on him? The third, whether it were consonant to reason, that a Bishop who ought to be busied altogether in spirituall thinges, should also haue the gouernment of the temporall estate? These questions (they say) hee [Page 93] gaue to the best learned of the Lutherans; that they might study and examine them well, to the end they might come to the Councell armed and furnished with good and sollid reasons. When the Pope heard of this hee was very much perplexed with it, and therefore proposed this enterprize of the Emperor to the Cardinalls in the Consistory, to know their mindes therein; and some of them tolde him, that hee had no remedys for it, but to hinder the Councell by mouing new warres and dissentions in the Christian Common-wealth. But others were of opinion that it was more for the Popes profit to agree secretly with the Lutherans; to which the Pope answered, we would willingly yeelde vnto them in all thinges which concerne the soule, so that they would suffer our Kingdome and Popedome to remaine safe and entire without diminishing.
The 59. Apologue, whereby is shewed the vse of the Popes Excommunications.
THe Emperour after the death of the Lord Peter Loys, tooke possession of Placentia as his owne. Wherefore Pope [Page 94] Paul (who was the Lord Loys his father) being much displeased with it, said to the Emperors Embassador that hee would haue him certifie his Maiesty, that if he did not out of hand restore it to him, hee would excommunicate him & publish his excommunication in the world: but the Embassador answered & said vnto him; As fathers to keep their little Children in feare and obedience are accustomed to shew them vizards and other strange sights, to make them affraid; in like maner your Holines to keep the Christians in feare and subiection, haue found meanes to terrifie them by excommunicating, Anathematizing and cursing them; causing them to bee painted with fire and Diuells round about them, and euen as little Children when they come to maturity and yeares of discretion, do no more stand in feare of their Fathers Bug-beares: So the Christians, (who thankes bée to God begin to open their eyes) doe now little regard your excommunications; wherefore may it please you to vnders tand, that the Emperor is nothing affraid of any such vaine terrors, and also that if you thunder and lighten with your Excommunications, his Maiestie will thunder and lighten with his great Canons, and Engins of warre.
The 60. Apologue, shewing the cause that moueth the Pope to persecute them that beleeue in Christ.
ONe asked Pope Iulius the third, wherefore hée did so cruelly persecute the Christians who did beléeue that faith did iustifie and saue, and hee answered that it was because he did feare least they would begin to beléeue in Iesus Christ: and when the other asked of him, what euill it was to belieue in Christ? He answered, that it would be his ruine, and destruction: for if they did once beléeue, in Iesus Christ, they would no more beléeue in him.
The 61. Apologue, whereby is shewed that the Popish Absolutions are of none effect.
A Confessor demanded of his Penitent (before hee had absolued him) whether hée did beléeue that God had pardoned his sinnes? And the Penitent answered, that hée did not: for (said hée) if I assuredly beléeued that God had pardoned me. I would not haue come to you for your absolution: [Page 96] then the Confessor said vnto him, vnlesse thou doest stedfastly beléeue that God hath forgiuen thee, I cannot absolue thée. If (said the Penitent I verily beléeue that I am pardoned, doe I beléeue true or false? thou dost beléeue that which is true said the Confessor. Then (said the Penitent) you cannot absolue me vnlesse God absolue me first, and being so, what would you haue me doe with your vaine Absolution? When hée had thus said he departed from him.
The 62. Apologue, whereby is shewed that in the Church of God there ought to be no Pope, nor Cardinalls.
POpe Adrian was asked on a time, why S. Paul speaking of Ministers ordained by God to gouerne his Church: and saying that hée had appointd some to bée Apostles, some Prophets, some Evangelists, some Pastors and Teachers, had not also added (as it was conuenient & necessary he should) that hée had ordained, that there should bée one Pope, and a great number of Cardinalls? and hee answered that in the Primatiue Church, men were so simple & grosse of vnderstanding, that if hee had named such [Page 97] kind of Creatures, they would not haue vnderstood what they had meant.
The 63. Apologue, whereby is shewed the folly of them who beleeue they shall bee saued by the Masses of S. Gregory, and how the world is abused.
A Cerretan or Popish Marchant, trauelled about the Country to vtter his commodities, and wheresoeuer he came, he said vnto the people, when any of you is likely to dye, hee ordaines by his last Wil and Testament that his friends shall after his death, giue a Crowne to the Cordeliers to say the Masses of S. Gregory for him: but you do not consider that before they are begun and ended many dayes doe passe away, during which time yée must néedes remaine in the fire of Purgatory. Now if yée will giue mee but halfe a Crowne for a man, I will assure you that yee shall not come thither at all; so that yée will onely weare about your necks continnually a little crosse which I will giue you, and die with it about you. And so many of the people receiued these crosses, that the Masses of S. Gregory lost their credit, wherefore the Cordeliers made all meanes [Page 98] they could against him, calling him a seducer of the people and a preacher of lies; but the Cerretan excusing himselfe, said that hee had spoke nothing but the truth. What? said the Friers, will thou affirme that thou hast authority to bring back Soules out of Purgatory? If I had so said answered the Cerretan, I would acknowledge my selfe the greatest sinner in the world: I said, indéede that I could préserue them from going thither, but I spoke not a worde of bringing them backe thence. Dost thou presume then (said they) that thou canst send them immediately into Paradice? No (said he) then I were a foole and an hereticke; but I said that if they would weare my little crosses, and pay mee halfe a Crowne a man, I would assure them they should neuer goe into Purgatory; and my reason why I said so, is, that in such a case they shall be sure to goe to the Diuells in Hell, because they beléeue they shall abtaine remission of their sinnes, not by Iesus Christ but by paying halfe a Crowne, and wearing a little piece of wood about their necks: If that you would take as great héede to those thinges which you say when you preach your Indulgences, Suffrages, Merits, Benedictions Absolutions & Masses of S. Gregory as [Page 99] haue taken to my words, so many false and faigned thinges which would neuer procéede out of your mouths, to the detriment and ruine of so many simple people, who giue credit to your lies, after that yée haue blinded their eyes with your hipocrisie.
The 64. Apologue of the Cardinall of Chiety.
THere was two men on a time talking of the Cardinall of Chiety; and one of them said, that hee had a braine so dry and hard, that a man could not with mattockes roote vp the superstitions which grew there, much lesse imprint Iesus Christ in it; and the other answered; It is no maruaile if his braines be so hard and dry, for heretofore the measure thereof did consume away w t his studying to bée Cardinall: and since hee was Cardinall, to bee Pope, so that it doth wast and consume continually.
The 65. Apologue, shewing why Pope Paul made the Bishop of Chiety Cardinall.
AFter that Pope Paul had made the Bishoppe of Chiety Cardinall, one of his [Page 100] friends came vnto him, and said that hee had done ill, seeing that the Fishoppe was not so holy a man as the foolish world was perswaded; and the Pope answered, wee did not make him Cardinall because wee iudged him an holy man, but that the world might iudge vs holy in that wee exalt those which are commonly thought good men. Then his friend replied that the Bishop had taught some Venetian gentlemen part of Luthers doctrine; wee know that said the Pope, and therefore to bee reuenged on him wee made him Cardinall; is it a reuenge (said the other) to make him Cardinal? Yes, very great said the Pope, for whereas the world before tooke him for a Saint, now euery one will account a Diuell: and wee will yet make him more resemble a brast, for wee will not onely not esteeme or regard him at all, but also make him commit a thousand grosse and absurd errors.
The 66. Apologue, shewing how men are abused by the Pope.
CErtaine Germanes beeing asked why they went not to Rome as the custome was? answered, that it was because they did [Page 101] no more giue credit to the Iubilees and Indulgences of the Pope, but onely to the indulgences of Iesus Christ, which through faith are offred by God, in all places and to all persons: when the other replied that it were good to goe thither, if for no other cause, but to see the Cittie of Rome, which is so famous and admirable for monuments of antiquity: they answered and said, Seing that for a long space, wee haue béene so blinde and foolish that wée haue beléeued that Antichrist was our God, and vpon that confidence haue not spared our purses to buy Paradice, wee are now much ashamed to goe abroad, & to be seene and knowne to be Germans.
Thr 67. Apologue, wherby is declared the great perfection of the Chartreuse Friers.
THe Chartreuse Friers doe in vertues excéede all other religious men, which is prooued, first, because they keepe Charity alwaies locked in their Cloisters for feare least they should loose her, and neuer suffer her to enter into the Hospitall where they lay their Sicke, least shee should bee infected with their diseases. Againe, [Page 102] they neuer suffer dame pouerty to come amongst them, least that being a woman she should defile their chastity. Thirdly, because they would not offend through disobedience, they kéepe themselues for the most part in their chambers to the end that no man should command them any thing. Fourthly, the greatest part of their time they spend in sléep, that they may obserue the great vertue silence. Fiftly, they keepe patience alwaie prisoner least she should escape them, so that there is none among them hath patience, but hee that is in prison. Sixtly, they eate alone that they may lay vp what they leaue. Lastly, that they may bee humble in the lowest degree, they tye their humility at their héeles.
The 68. Apologue, wherein is shewed of what sort the life of the Monkes is.
THe Monkes of S. Benet were in hand with a young man of a village neere vnto them, to haue him be their Gardiner: and he told them that he would speak to his father about it, and giue them an answere on the morrow; but when his father vnderstood of it, although hee were a very old man, yet [Page 103] the next morning hée went vnto the Abbot, and made a great complaint vnto him, saying that the Monkes would marre and corrupt his Sonne. How corrupt him? saide the Abbot. wée would haue him bée our Gardiner, and doe him good, and not harme; then the old man said, my sonne is a verie carefull young man, willing to take paines, and hath so strong and able a body to endure labour, that hee can worke night and day, though his fare bée but bread and water: but you would make him a sluggish and sloathfull fellow, yea and a glutton too; wherefore doe not you thinke to haue him, for althhugh you would giue him twenty Crownes wages by the yeare, and all the shooes which hee should weare out, yet hée should not serue you. Then the Abbot said, that they would make him labour hard and giue him but moderate dyet. As it is vnpossible (said the old man) to bée in company with Millers, and not be defiled with their meale: so a man cannot frequent the company of gluttonous, floathfull and Idle persons, but hée shall bée infected with their gurmundizeing, and sluggish kinde of life. Moreouer my sonne shall loose his credite for euer hereafter, and neuer get him any other Master, for who [Page 104] will accept of his seruice, when hee vnderstands, that hee hath liued with Monkes: nay, euery one will say vnto him, get hence, thou art not for my purpose; for all men will perswade themselues that hee is become a sluggish and vnprofitable person, and so hee left Mounsieur Abbot without a Gardiner.
The 69. Apologue, whereby is shewed what good the Monkes doe in visiting the sicke.
A Certaine man hauing learned the true knowledge of Iesus Christ, and that his souls safety did consist in him alone, made his onely sonne partaker thereof. And within a while after it came to passe that his son fell sicke, and in the extremity of his sicknes had a con [...]t with the Diuels, who tempted him, as they who were present might easily perceiue; wherefore his friends were very desirous to send for the Monkes to driue them away: but his father withstood them saying, that it was sufficient to pray vnto God for him: notwithstanding, when he was gone abroad about some busines his friends sent for the Monkes; who were no [Page 105] sooner entred into the Chamber, but the Diuels left the sicke man, as hee himselfe witnessed; not long after his father returned, and as hée was comming into the Chamber, hee heard the Monkes exhorting him to put his trust in S. Francis, and his meritorious workes, and in the absolutions and pardons of the Pope, wherefore béeing very angry, hée tooke the gentlemen by their frocks and haled them out of the Chamber, as they were well worthy: but his friends said, alas, what do you meane in such sort to thrust out those holy and religious men? who as soone as they came into the chamber, made all the Diuels flye away, for they could not abide in their presence. Then the good old man answered, I do easily beléeue you, for where these Diuels are, all other are néedlesse and superfluous. Did not I heare them exhorting my sonne to put his trust in their trumperyes, leauing the confidence which hée ought to haue in God through Iesus Christ? And so shutting the do ore vpon the Monkes, hée exhorted his sonne to put all his trust and confidence in God alone.
The 70. Apologue, concerning the beard of the Capuchine Friers.
THere was one maruailled much at the long beards of the Capuchin Friers, and a man in his company tould him that the reason why they did weare them so long, was that, being they were young plants, they might through fained deuotion, and seeming grauity, take deepe roote in the hearts of men.
The 71. Apologue, shewing the folly of them, who doe almes to the Monkes.
A Iacobine preacher on a time inueighing against the Monkes, amongst other thinges. said thus vnto his auditors, all of yee deale very preposterously and foolishly, for if a wolfe at any time bee séene in your fields, yee presently set vpon him with dogges and outcries to kill him, or at least to chase him away, and yet hee commeth but seldome, and then constrained by hunger, being not otherwise able to liue; and if heedde escape vnespied hee killeth but one shéepe at the most: but on the contrary yee kindly entertaine and doe almes to the [Page 107] Cordeliers of the obseruance, worshipping them as Saints, and yet they are domesticall wolues, farre more dangerous then those which are wilde: for although they can well liue (as they ought) by their owne labour, yet without any necessity they are daily at your gates, and deuoure not onely your sheepe, but also your Calues, your poultry, your bread, and wine, and other of your goods, and finally your credit and soules.
The 72. Apologue, by which wee may perceiue what are the Consciences of the Popes.
POpe Paul minding to giue Parma and Placentia to his sonne, proposed his purpose in the Consistory: and some of the Cardinalls withstood him, saying, that hée could not doe it without danger of damnation, and proued it by diuers reasons. But the Pope answered and said: If S. Paul had so great Charity, as to desire to be an Anathema, and seperated from Christ, for his carnall brethrens sake, why may it not also be permitted to vs, to goe to the Diuell through charity, that we may exalt our owne sonne? To this the Cardinalls (being vanguished by [Page 108] the authority of S. Paul) could not tell what to answer, and therefore they suffered him to doe what he would.
The 73. Apologue, shewing how much authority the Pope hath ouer Paradice.
POpe Leo bring at the point of death made shew of great trouble of Conscience, and anguish of mind. Wherefore his Confessor said vnto him, what doe you feare? you haue the keyes of Paradise, and of all the merits of Iesus Christ, and there is none hath such authority and iurisdiction ouer them as you; then the Pope answered, do you not know that he which selleth any thing, hath no right in it after it is sold? wherefore I feare least that we, who haue heeretofore sold Paradise, Iesus Christ, and his merrits to others, shall now haue no right nor interest in them our selues.
The 74. Apologue shewing a reason of the common saying that Antichrist shall bee borne of a Monke and a Nunne.
A Germaine asked a learned man, whether it might bee found in the Bible [Page 109] that Antichrist ought to bee borne of a Monke and a Nunne according to the common saying? and hee answered no, and that in all the holy Scriptures there was no mention at all made either of Monke or Nunne: whence then (said the Germane) commeth it to passe that this saying is so commonly vsed, whereas (said the learned man all men knew that Antichrist must néeds be a great and extraordinary sinner, it seemed likely and agréeable to the truth, that hee should be borne of such persons as were notorious sinners aboue all others; now because amongst Woemen, none are so bad as the Nunnes, and amongst Men, none so wicked as Monkes, men iudged hee should bee borne of a Monke and a Nunne.
The 75. Apologue, carping at the ignorance of the Papisticke Bishops.
A Certaine man being asked what the two partes of the Episcopall Miter did signifie? answered that the part before did signifie the new Testament, and that behind the old, and that the Bishops did weare them on their heades, to shew they both ought to bee well vnderstood of them and laid vp [Page 110] in their hearts; being asked againe what the two labels did signifie which hang on the right side, and the other on the left? he answered that they did shew, that the Bishops did vnderstand neither the one nor the other of them.
The 76 Apologue, shewing where the Popes holines lies.
THere was a man in Rome which did mocke at them who did call the Pope most holy, and demanded of them whether hee were more holy then Iesus Christ, who is the Saint of Saints, and the holiest of all? wée know well enough (said hee) that hée is a sinfull man as we are, yea that he is an extraordinary sinner. so that all his holinesse is in his heeles; then (said another which was present) that is the reason that men vse to kisse his feet, namely because his holinesse lies in his heeles.
The 77. Apologue, by which is shewed in what Pope Leo was a good Cocke.
IAmes Saluiaty hauing some occasion to, speake to with Pope Leo, came one morning [Page 111] very early to the Pallace, and had much adoe to get in to the Pope, because the Groomes of his Chamber were all asléepe. Yet, when at last hee was got in, hee found that the Pope had béene vp a good while before. Wherefore wondring at it, he said, Holy father, you were vp very early this morning: It is true said the Pope wee are a good Cocke, you are not a good Cocke (said Saluiatie) to waken your Seruants, for I found them all asleepe; you are not a good Cocke to Crow, for you haue a very bad voyce: & as touching fighting you are not a good Cocke, for you are so fat and grosse that you can hardly goe, much lesse fight well: it remaineth then that you bée a good Cocke in scraping in the earth as hee doth, or else in satisfying many women as he contenteth many hennes. At this the Pope laughed heartily, and confessed that he had said the truth.
The 78. Apologue, shewing that one cannot bee Pope and an honest man.
AFter the death of Iulius the second Leo (although he were a very young man) was created Pope▪ because all men thought [Page 112] him to be a holy and religious man; but after he had béene Pope a while, he proued a notorious sinner, and a dissipator of the Churches goods: wherefore on a time, certaine ancient Cardinalls reprehended and chid him handsomly for his euill life. And he answered and said, If we are wicked, let it be imputed to you, for you are they which haue made vs such as we are; the Cardinalls thought his words very strange, and asked him how they had made him wicked▪ then he answered; it was in making me Pope; for it is vnpossible at the same time to bée both Pope and an honest man.
The 79. Apologue, of the folly of the Cardinall of Lunes.
THere were some that had made the Cardinall of Lunes beléeue, that the eating of salt did damage and impaire the health of the body; wherefore that hee might liue long without sicknes, hée would neuer eat salt in any kinde of meat; when a certaine man vnderstood of it, hée said it is no maruaile if the Cardinall of Lunes be a foole séeing that he doth neuer eat any salt.
The 80. Apologue, by which is shewed the quality of the Monasteries.
A Gentlewoman of Sienes on a time méeting with a Sister of hers, amongst other things, said vnto her; I am much grieued in mind by reason of my Daughter, who is you know already marigeable, and to tell you the truth shée hath so little wit, that I am ashamed of her; for so simple and foolish shée is, that one might easily make her beléeue that the Moone is made of a gréene Chéese (as the prouerbe is) wherefore I am affraid to marry her least she should be a laughing stock to all that come in her company. And her Sister answered place her then in a monastery for a time, and you shall finde that by frequenting the company of Nunnes, and other young Maides, shee will bee changed; for indéede it is no maruaile if she bee so simple, séeing that you kéepe her alwayes lockt vp in your house, not hauing any to kéepe her company; now the Gentle woman, following the aduise and counsell of her Sister, placed her in a Monastery, where she had not béene a yeare, but being sent for home, shee shewed that she knew more [Page 114] then her mother. Insomuch that when shee met with her sister againe, shée said, I desired that it might raine, and not that there might be a deluge: but my Daughter is of a little Angell become a great Diuel; for I thinke that if she had beene this time among so many Diuells, she could not haue learned more wicknednes then she knowes.
The 81. Apologue, shewing what thing the Popedome is.
POpe Clement (being very angry by reason of letters which he had receiued from England) sent for the English Embassadour and said vnto him: wee vnderstand that your king saith, that we are not Pope nor Uicar of Christ on earth; then the Embassadour answered, surely, Holy Father it is but your immagination: an immagination (said the Pope) we haue a letter to confirme the truth thereof. If it be so (said the Embassadour) it may be that the Kings Secretary did misvnderstand him. Hee that wrote this (said the Pope) hath written nothing but plaine and manifest things. Then the Embassadour said, it may bee that the Secretary did of purpose write that which was false to [Page 115] bréed discord betwéene your Holines and the Maiesty of the King my Maister. But the Pope said, hee that wrote these letters is an honest man, and one that desireth peace and vnity betwirt vs: perhaps then (said the Embassadour) the King spake these words in his anger, and is now of another mind: that cannot be (said the Pope) for hee spake them in the presence of his Counsell, and with good aduice, for he added that it was the opinion of all the learned in his Realme. If it be so, (said the Embassadour) that this is no faigned thing, but that it was written by a man fearing God, and faithfully executing the Kings command, and that the King spake them not in his anger; be you assured that he hath spoken the truth; for so well am I perswaded of the Kings wisedome, that I know hée would not publikely haue spoken a thing of so great importance, if he had not bin certaine that it was true. What (said the Pope) will he take the Popedome from vs? perswading his subiects that we are not Pope: then the Embassadour said, If you bée not truely Pope, the Popedome cannot bee taken from you, because you neuer had it: and if you bee, although all England doe not hold you to bée Pope, yet are you Pope notwithstanding; [Page 116] withstanding: then (said the Pope) wee will be Pope in other places, where they will accompt vs sa; and not in England whers they will not haue vs Pope. It followeth then (said the Embassador) that if you be accompted Pope in no place; you are not Pope at all. It is true, said the Pope. If it be so (said the Embassadour) the Popedome in it selfe is no true thing, but onely a dreame and imagination of men. Wherefore the King my maister saying that you were not truely Pope, said the truth.
The 82. Apologue, by which is shewed what kinde of men the Popes and Popish Bishops are.
THere was on a time a Bishoprick of Florence void; and a young man of the same place well knowne to be a very wicked man, made all the meanes he could both with money and friends which hée had at Rome, to obtaine it: and indéed the Pope would very willingly haue bestowed it on him, in regard that hée offered great store of money for it, but hée was ashamed considering the qualities of the person; notwithstanding hée said to them which did solicite him in the matter, [Page 117] procure the Lord Duke to giue vs good information of him, and we wil confer the Bishopricke on him. Then the young mans friends went vnto the Duke of Florence, & desired him that it would please his Grace to write vnto the Pope, and giue good testimoniall of him, for all his preferment did depend thereon; and the Duke answered that he would doe it without lying, wherefore to satisfie them, and performe his promise, hee wrote vnto the Pope, that the young man was worthy, not onely to be Bishop, but also to bée Pope, meaning thereby that he did abound with all kinde of wickednes. Héerevpon the Pope not vnderstanding (or rather faigning that hee did not vnderstand) his meaning, as if the Duke had said he had béen a very honest, learned, and religious man, presently made him Bishop.
The 83. Apologue, shewing the great fault of the Emperour Phoca.
THere were certaine learned men talking, and reasoning together of faults, which Emperours of Rome had committed; and in the end they concluded that the grossest, and most pernicious fault of all was that of the Emperour Phoca, when he granted [Page 118] to Boniface the third, that he should bee Bishop of Bishops; for thinking to giue him the keyes of the Kingdome of Heauen, hée mistooke himselfe and gaue him the keyes of Rome, and of the Empire. Wherefore it was Phoca, and not Constantine, who did enrich the Romane Church.
The 84. Apologue, whereby is shewed what are the deeds of the Popes.
VVHen Leo was made Pope, the Florentines made a great triumph: because hee was the first Florentine Pope; and at that there was a man of Gennes in Florence, who making as though hee did not know the cause of their reioycing, demanded of some of the Cittizens why they made such a great feast? and they as it were wondring at his question, said, what? Doe you not know that wee haue a Florentine Pope? Is that then the cause (said the other) of your feasting and reioycing? O foolish people! There is no place except Rome, which hath had more Popes out of it then Gennes; so that if Popes would make their Countries happy, ours had excéeded others in happines, whereas it is now more miserable [Page 119] then any other, and principally by reason of Genuan Popes, which haue ruinated it, as Florentine Popes wil ruinate and destroy Florence.
The 85. Apologue, whereby is shewed what are the exercises of the Monkes.
A Certaine Proctour of the law, being desirous to become a Monke of S. Benner, did discouer his minde to some Monkes of the same order; and they promised him to speake to their Abbot about it, not doubling but they should preuaile. Now when they did first commence their suite, the Abbot enquired of them of what profession the person was? And they answered that hee was a Proctour, who did frequent the Courtes of Law, and had béene exercised in pleading. Then (said the Abbot) let him not escape vs by any meanes, hee is the man wee would haue, for if he knowes how to plead well, he cannot choose but bee a good Monke, and so they receiued and inuested him.
The 55. Apologue, shewing of what sort the Monasteries are, and what ought to bee done vnto them.
THere was in times past a Monastery of Nunnes, which by reason of factions and dissentions raigning in it (according to the custome of all other) as also for many other respects might very well bee called hell. The Abbesse well knowing it, on a day called all the Nunnes together into the Chapter house and said vnto them: Yée sée plainely how miserable our life is, in this place, where wee liue as it were in a coniinuall hell; and without doubt if we perseuere in this kind of life, wée shall one day goe to the other. Ye know well that when wee came first into this Monastery, wée were pure as Angells, chast, humble, deuout, feruent to call vppon God, charitable, and full of all vertues: but thinking to come hether, as to the schoole of perfection, wee are become crafty, proud, factions, vnchast, enuicus, disobedient, couetous, yea filled with all kind of impiety; and yet euery day wee grow worse and worse, so that without all hope wée shall be damned, if wee doe not in time seeke some remedy. Wherefore [Page 121] I earnestly intreat you that if yée know any meanes to redresse it, ye will impart it to mée, and if it bée good, I wil very willingly put it in practise. Then one of them said, I thinke it good that we resigne our offices to nouices, (who are Angels in respect of vs) and that wée choose out of them, one to bée Abbesse, another to bee Uicaresse, and another to be Mistres of the schoole, and so, for all other principall offices; and this wee ought to yéeld vnto, because they are not yet entred into our factions, nor diuided among vs, but are pure and vertuous, so that wée béeing gouerned by them may procure our owne safety, and after our deathes the Monastery will bee reformed. But all the rest opposed themselues against her, saying: Truely that were a faire matter, that wee should become nouices againe, and now at length obey them which yet sauour strongly of the world; and it were a great credit surely for vs that the world should know that wee had so resigned our offices to nouices; it is far better (if you would not haue the nouices corrupted) that they gouerne themselues, and we our selues; the other replied, that so of one Monastery they should make two, and beside the [Page 122] nouices should haue none to teach & instruct them in the Ceremonies of Religion. In the end, the Abbesse séeing they could not agrée among themselues, said, for my part I thinke it most expedient for vs, that wee burne the Monastery, and that all of vs returne some to our friendes, where wee may liue peaceably, and honestly: this motion pleased them them all, and within a while after they set it on fire and departed.
The 87. Apologue, shewing the pride, couetousnes, and foolish superstition of them that say they can deliuer Soules out of Purgatory.
IN a Citty of Sicilie, the Cordeliers in their Sermons to the people, said that S. Francis did euery yeare on his feast day descend into Purgatory, and deliuer the soules of all that had giuen almes to his Fryers; wherevppon many men to be in the number of their Benefastors, gaue them almes continually, that after death they might be deliuered out of Purgatory by S. Francis: when the Fryers of Saint Dominicke, or Iacobines, (who are also called the Fryers of the Virgin Mary) perceiued that by this meanes, the peoples almes was diminished [Page 123] in their endroit, they got vp into the Pulpits and said, that the Uirgin Mary, hauing more charity and authority then Saint Francis, did not suffer them which had béene benificiall to her Friers, to lye a yeare in Purgatory, as hée did but onely seauen daies at the most; for (said they) euery Satterdaie (which is dedicated to her) she descends into Purgatorie, & deliuereth all which haue béene benifactors to her Friers. After this, many beléeued in them, so that they also had great store of almes. When the Friers of S. Augustine (called also the Friers of the Crucifixe because their Church is dedicated to it) perceiued this, they began to preach Iesus Christ, and say that hée being charity it selfe, and far more powerfull then either S. Francis, or the Uirgin Mary, did not suffer them which belieued in him alone, to enter into Purgatory at all, but sent them immediatly into Paradise. And after that, many did addresse themselues to Iesus Christ, wherefore the Inquisitors (or rather Inquinators) of the faith, approouing the oppinion of the Cordeliers, and also that of the Iacobines: but on the contrary reprouing & condemning of this y e Friers of S. Augustine, as false & hereticall, cited them to appeare before them; & [Page 124] said they would haue them burnt, because they were so bould to magnifie and exault Iesus Christ aboue the Saints. For (said they) if this were true which yée say, it would follow that not onely the Saints but also the Pope himselfe, should haue no authority in Purgatory.
The 88. Apologue, by which is shewed what are the fruites of the Confessionals and Confessors.
A Certaine man hauing many sons and daughters did nourish and bring them vp carefully: not suffering them to frequent the company of any out of his owne house, for feare least they should be lead aside into any kinde of vice; and hée himselfe supplied the place of a master, for hée both instructed them in good learning, and was vnto them an example of vertue and piety; But it happened for all this, that in time they became all very wicked, committing among themselues much dishonesty. When their father perceiued it, hée much wondred and grieued at it, and calling them vnto him, hee sharply reprehended them, and demounded of them where, and of whom they had learned [Page 125] so great wickednes? and they answered that they learned it out of the booke which hée gaue them to studdie in, and of the maister which expounded it vnto them; then their father said, I am sure that I suffered you to read none but honest bookes, and that you haue had noe other matter then my selfe, and I neuer taught you this dishonesty. Then they said, doe you not remember, that when wée were to make our confessions, you gaue vs a booke called the Confessionall, commanding vs to studie our sins therein? Out of that booke wée learned all the euill wee know, and because wée did not vnderstand the one halfe of the wickednes contained therein, our Maister, that that is to say the Confessor, did expound it vnto vs, when their father heard this, hée presently cast the booke into the fire, charging and commaunding them, that when they were to make their confessions, they should study none but the bookes of their owne consciences, and that they should neuer after confesse their sinnes to any, but God alone.
The 89. Apologue, whereby is condemned the pride and ignorance of the Monkes.
A Carmelite on a time spake much in the praise of his owne religion, and preferred it before all other, principally, by reason of the antiquity thereof, saying, that the originall of it was from Elias in mount Carmell, whence they were called Carmes, or Carmelites; and also that in the time of Christ there were no other Monks or Friers beside them. And one which heard him, said then S. Paul where hee saith, Periculum in falcis fratribus, speaketh of you, seeing that there were no other Friers at that time, and consequently your religion is Iewish, and not Christian▪ because it began before Christ. The Carmelite, not knowing what to reply, departed from him ashamed.
The 90. Apologue, whereby is discouered and condemned the ridiculous couetousnes, and superstition of the Cordeliers.
IN Florence the Cordeliers, with many fayre words exhorted a Cittizens to hyre them to say the Masses of S. Gregory for a [Page 127] sonne of his which was lately dead, saying, that by them he should bee deliuered out of Purgatory, and hee, making as though hée were perswaded by their words, said vnto them, goe and say your Masses, and if my sonne be deliuered by them, as your promise is, I will giue you a crowne; so the Cordeliers went to the Temple, and quickly mumbled vp their Masses, and then returned to him for the crowne, but hée said first shewe mée some token that yée haue deliuered my sonne out of Purgatorie and then I will giue it you; for so farre am I from knowing that hée is fréed from Purgatorie by your Masses, that I cannot tell whether hée went thither or no when hée died: when the Cordeliers saw hée would not satisfie their expectation, they went vnto the Duke, humbly intreating him that hée would doe them iustice; and hée presently sent for the Cittizen to come before him, and asked him why hée would not pay the Friers the crowne which hee promised them? Then hée said, I did not promise them absolutely, but in case, that by their Masses they did deliuer the soule of my sonne out of Purgatory: now seeing they can shew mée no good proofe that hée is deliuered, I see no reason why I should giue them the crowne; [Page 128] when the Duke heard this, hée turned to the Cordeliers and said, procure the soule which yée haue deliuered, to come and tell mée that he was deliuered by your Masses: or else to send two other soules to testifie vnto me that it is true which yée say, or at least to send me a writing subscribed with the hand of Christ to confirme your words, and yée shall presently haue the crowne, otherwise I cannot in iustice compell him to pay it. When the Cordeliers had heard these words of the Duke they went their waies hanging downe their heads and very much ashamed, but nothing at all amended.
The 91 Apologue, shewing that the Cordeliers of the Obseruance enioy more worldly pleasure then all other.
THere were certaine men talking of the felicity of this world, and one of the company asked the rest whom they thought had the happiest life of all? and an old man answered him, that the Cordeliers did excéede all other in happines; for first (saith hée) as touching their goods, they are exempted from all tithes, impositions, taxes, charges, molestations, and troubles, [Page 129] they may haue what they will, and yet they liue in continuall idlenesse. Againe, they néede not feare banishment, seeing that there are Monasteries euery where, and that the folly and superstition of the world is such, and so great, that they should bee sure neuer to want any thinge concerning their credite, so grieuous that if the viless rogue, and greatest sinner aliue were of that order, hée should bee reuerenced of all; and for carnall pleasures, man and wife from the first time they fall in loue, haue no greater delight and pleasure then they, for they neuer marry, that they may bée frée from the trouble, and charge of marriage, but as continuall louers, wholy apply their minds, by pleasant deuises and loue tricks to win the loue and good will of the Nunnes, deuout sisters, and other of their spirituall daughters, as they tearme them. Finally, if wée speake of their consciences, it is certaine that they perswade themselues that they are perfect Saints, & that they can distrbute an ouerplus of their own merits to their benefactors: (& indeed they are so ouer charged with them, that if they did not disburdē themselues on other, they were in danger by reason [Page 130] of the great and horible weight of them, to sinke downe into the déepe pit of hell) and they thinke that they neuer offend God, but iudge themselues the greatest friends hée hath on earth, so that they passe all the time of their life without any remorse of conscience, perswading themselues that Paradise is their owne, as sure as if they had it in their hands.
The 92 Apologue, shewing the superstition of them that whip themselues.
THere was on a time a Tyrant in a citty of Italy, who fearing least hée should bée staine by treason, did strictly forbid all kind of Maskes, so that euery one for feare of punishment did abstaine from them; but it chanced that in the wéeke which they call holy, certaine young men apparelled after the manner of whippers, went (as the custome is at that time in Italy) in procession through the stréetes, whipping themselues cruelly, to gaine pardon for their sins. The Tyrant being certified of this, caused them to bée aprehended, and brought before him, and then hée demanded of them how they durst be so bould, to goe masked contrary to his expresse commaundement? But they answered [Page 131] that they were not masked, but onely apparrelled after the maner of those that whippe themselues. Then the Tyrant said, are yée not masked, when ye are so disguised that no man knowes you? And the whippers answered, that they so disguised themselues, not with an intent to doe any euill thereby, but to gaine remission and pardon for their sins. If it be so (said the Tyrant) I hold you excused; and that I may not hinder but rather further your good worke, and bee partaker with you in it, you shall goe hence to all the Temples in the Towne, to gaine pardon for your sinnes, and the Beadle shall follow you at the héeles and whip you after his best fashion to ease you of your labour; and so hee commanded that they should bee our after another well scourged. Thus they who at the first went forth whipping themselues of their owne accord, departed very much discontented, and well slashed by the Beadle.
The 93. Apologue, shewing that the Popes doe nothing else but sucke and eat the Church.
IN the time of Pope Leo one asked a Florentine which came from Rome, what [Page 132] he brought thence? And hee answered, good newes; for the Pope hath giuen the Church to be a nurse to his kindred.
The 94. Apologue, shewing the liberty of a Councell.
POpe Paul the third being certified that the Councell of Trent was fled away, did reioyce greatly for many reasons, but especially because by that flight the World might plainely perceiue, that the Councell was frée and not tyed; for if it had béene tyed, it could not haue fled away as it did.
The 95. Apologue, shewing that the Emperour had not taken hold of a good occasion.
THere were certaine men talking of the Emperors friends; and one asked them who they thought had béene his greatest friend? And some said the Prince Dorie, other the Marques of Pescaire, other Don Ferrand: but in the end there was one said, that it was Martin Luther, because that hee had opened him the way, and giuen him the occasion to make himselfe an absolute Monarch, [Page 133] which notwithstanding hee hath not made vse of.
The 96. Apologue, shewing how Pope Paul repented.
POpe Paul as hee lay on his death-bed fell into an agony, & therefore was exhorted by his Confessor to haue patience, and to bewaile his sinnes, recommend himselfe to God, and haue stedfast faith in Iesus Christ: and after that his Confessor was departed, a priuate friend of his came vnto him and said, holy father, haue not these wordes of such great importance, which your Confessor spake vnto you, augmented the paine and griefe of your heart? no surely, (answered the Pope) for they did not moue me at all.
The 97. Apologue, which sheweth what euill proceedeth from bad examples.
A Certaine Gentleman reprouing his sonne, said vnto him, art thou not ashamed to liue as thou dost? Thou dost not lead the life of a Gentleman, no nor of a Christian but of an idle, leaud & wicked fellow; for thou dost nothing else but eate, drink, sleep, & play, [Page 116] and do all the villanies which may be inuented. And his son answered and said; Truely Father, I haue hitherto thought that I had liued the holiest and most honorable life of al, séeing that such is the life not onely of many Lords and Gentleman, but also of Priests, Monkes, Prelates, and Cardinalls, yea and of the Pope himselfe.
The 98. Apologue, shewing what maner of fellow the Pope is.
THere were certain men talking together of the wickednes which was in y e world, especially of whoredome and the Patrons thereof: and one of them said vnto the other, whom doe yée thinke to be the most notorious Band aliue? And although for a time their opinions were different, yet at last with one consent they answered, that it was the Pope; for first, as a Band hee is y e Protector of that Whore hee kéepeth himselfe, and secondly is the safegard, and Defender, not onely of one Queane, but of more then fiftéene thousands which are in Rome; so that hee punisheth those which offend, or displease them, and doth participate with them in the gaine which [Page 141] they make as appeareth by the yearly tribute they pay vnto him.
The 99. Apologue, whereby is discouered the vnsatiablenesse of the Mend cant Friers.
A Frier said on a time, that he did wonder the Sea did not increase, seeing that so many riuers did runne into it dayly, and not goe out againe; but a secular said vnto him, yee ought much rather, to maruell at your selues, seeing that euery one throughout the whole Papisticke common wealth, doth giue vnto you, and yee giue nothing to other, and yet like vnsatiable gulles yée deuoure all, and so farre are yee from being rich, that on the contrary, yee are alwaies in one same estate of pouertie.
The 100. Apologue, whereby are shewed the qualityes of the Friers.
TWo Cordeliers on a time met with some of the Monkes of Saint Bennet, and mocking at them, said, wée are in farre better estate then you, seeing that wée pay no tithes as yee doe; & the Monks of S. Benet [Page 136] answered, and said vnto them, it is not to be maruelled at; for men doe neuer sheare Asses, nor milke Fores.
The 101. Apologue, by which is shewed what benifite men receiue by the spirituall medicines of the Pope.
THere was on a time in a city of Italie, a Phisician of great fame, who did not cure the diseases of his patients, but with certaine syrups and drugges made them stupide and sencelesse, in such sort, that although they did still remaine sicke, and worse then they were before, yet they felt no griefe, but thought themselues cured; wherefore certaine Monkes reprehended him for it. And hee said vnto them, yée doe the like, for so far are yée from curing those which are spiritually diseased; that on the contrary, with your humane traditions, superstitions, and hypocrisies, yée make them inwardly stupid, and vnsensible of their sinnes, and spirituall sickenesses, so that when they, giuing credit to your lies, thinke themselues freed from them, they are in a far more dangerous estate then they were before.