[Page] THE BRIDE, A COMEDIE. Acted in the yeere 1638. at the private house in Drury-lane by their Majesties Servants.

The Author, THOMAS NABBES.

Ovid. epist Herm. ad Orest.
—Nec turpe marito est
Aspera pro charo bella tulisse thoro.

LONDON. Printed by R. H. for Laurence Blaikelocke and are to be sold at his shop at the signe of the Sugar-loafe next Temple barre in Fleet-street. 1640.

TO THE GENERALTY OF His Noble friends, Gentlemen of the severall Honorable Houses the Inns of Court▪

GENTLEMEN,

I Have presum'd thus upon you, to countenance my shame fact Bride; who now she is prest blusheth to ap­peare in publick, through feare shee hath of a new danger from publicke censure. She is here drest according to mine own desire and intention; with­out [Page] ought taken from her that my selfe thought ornament; nor supplyed with any thing which I valued but as rags. Your favorable opinion, and your ac­ceptance of her into your protection, will take off her feares, and make her pre­sent her selfe fronte laeto: and the honor that you doe me thereby will adde: to those many engagements that binde me alwayes to declare my selfe

Your most thankfull servant. THOMAS NABBES.

The speaking Persons.

  • Goodlove. An old wealthy Merchant.
  • Theophilus. His sonne, supposed onely his Foster sonne.
  • Raven. His Nephew: a villaine.
  • Kickshaw. A French Cooke.
    • Maligo.
    • Rhenish.
    Two Merchants.
  • Justice Ferret. A simple Iustice.
  • Mrs. Ferret. His wife, imperious over her husband.
    • Father.
    • Mother.
    To the Bride.
  • Bride.
  • Squirell. A nimble Vintuer.
  • Drawer.
  • Three of foure Blades. Wilde roaring fellowes.
  • Horten. An owner of rarities and antiquities.
  • Servant to Horten.
  • Servants to Goodlove.
  • Plaster. A humorous Surgeon.
Mutes.
  • Maydes attending the Bride.
  • Three or foure Wenches.
  • Servants.

The Scene LONDON.

The PROLOGUE

VAcation still: so little custome comes
To buy our Merchandize, and fill our roomes,
It would perswade us but for after hope
Of better takings quite to shut up shop.
But what's the reason? have we no goodware?
Or doe the sights and motions in the fayre
Please better with their cheape rates? 'tis not fit
That we should set so low a prize on wit.
For what we shall present you with to day
The Bride, we wish you not t'expect a play,
Wherein a nesslecock, or youth oth' towne
(Borne to more state then wit)'s a gallant growne:
When one amongst you laughing at the elfe
And at his gullery, thinks upon himselfe.
Perhaps there will be some concluding that
A person or a place is pointed at;
Such make that satire which the pure intent
Of th' author meant but harmelesse merriment;
Who only labours here in what he can
T'expresse a Citizen a Gentleman.
Marke well the weaving and the dressing, the [...]
Liking the stuffe we hope you'l come agen.

The Bride.
The first Act,

The first Scene.

Enter Old Goodlove, and Theophilus very sad.
Goodlove.
I Say, no more of this,
I'le have no brow contracted into wrincles
Upon my wedding day: A day of mirth;
And thou stand'st like a mellancholick figure
Of weeping penitence, when joy should dress
Thy cheekes in dimples; it is prodigious
That thou should'st only
Weare mourning at my nuptials, that have foster'd
Thee from an Infant; bred thee to a man;
Ranckt thee with Gentlemen, and made thee thought
To be what thou appear'st; and thou to grieve
For what I count my happinesse!
The.
Pray' sir conster it
Th' expression of my duty. To your love
Were I possest of many selves I ow them.
That love hath caus'd this passion out of fear [...]
Your reputation in the act will suffer
[Page] Rumor is apt to prey upon occasion:
And if the rude mouthes of the multitude
Catch hold on a report, they'l multiply it;
And make it. grow to scandale. You an old man
Will marry a young woman.
Good.
Who cals me old! Dost thou? Now by my beard
(Is't not turn'd black agen? I should be loath
To sweare by a false coluor) I am young,
Like a new spring grown out of a barren winter.
I' ave likewise strength and activenesse: looke here else.
seemes to caper and burt his foot.
B [...]shrew't, the floor's uneven: would 'twere mended
Ple have my cornes cut too. Childe we must dance
Alwayes at weddings. Am I agen a Bridegrome!
And shall I not be lusty?
The.
Pray Sir, do not
Flatter your weaknesse, and decay of strength.
Your age begins to grow to a disease:
And can you then expresse such youthfull appetite
Without being censur'd?
Good.
Pray no more diswasion
Besides my will there is a reason for it:
And thou hast cause to joy, Shee brings a portion
Will be a large addition to thy state,
Which I but live t'encrease. I have no heire
Save thee? nor will get any: shalt have all.
The.
Your welfare sir to me
Is an inheritance 'bove any state
Fortune can blesse me with. Which to preserve
My knees should grow fast to some hallowed pavement,
Till mine own dissolution, and no thoughts
Busie my minde but prayers. Sir consider
The difference 'twixt your disabilite,
And her so hopefull fruitfullnesse. T' increase
And propagate was the best end of marriage.
T [...]en if the meanes be wanting, the end cannot
Be perfected: and some in scruple stick not
To call it sinne.
Good.
More urging! when I am dead
[Page] Thou shalt have her too. Ha! do'st startle at it?
The.
Why that would make even your ashes infamous.
And tempt the idle gazers on't to scratch
Libells upon your Marble. 'Twould be construed
That shee in youthfull heat longing for what
Your cold defects deni'd her, had enjoyd me
To lustfull satisfaction, when she should
Have warm'd your bed, and after married me
To prevent farther rumor. Nay sir more.
Hath she not setled her desire already
Upon some one of more proportion'd yeares?
'Twere rare if such a beauty of that growth,
Should have her mayden thoughts untoucht with th' appetite
Of what instinct doth teach, though she were barr'd
Even all converse, so much as not to know
The difference of a sex.
Good.
A causles jelousy
Shee's noted to have more perfections
Lodg'd in her rich minde, then the outward structure
Though beautifull doth promise: she inherits
Her Parents vertues, and her education
Hath been their only care. I know shee's free
From the lest thought may stayne her purity.
Therefore no more.

The second Scene.

To them Raven, and a little after him Mounsieur Kickshaw.

Is my Bride yet come Cosen?

Raw.

Not yet sir. Mounsieur Kickshaw the French Cook's come to prepare dinner.

Good.
Hee's welcome; let me see him
I'le have the feast season'd with all variety
Of choice delights.
The.
To me they will not relish;
But like those pills which an unwilling patient
[Page] Doubting their vertue takes, and turnes the medicine
Into a worse disease.
Good.
Mounsieur you are welcome.
Kick.
Me tank you Mounsieur.
Good.
I presume you'l shew your best cunning.
Kick.

Me make you de French dish; de pulpatone; de friga­sie; de gran Kickeshaw an de kickeshaw royall; de macarrone: and two tree dozen ting more for your wedding.

Good.
Pray Cosin take him first into the cellar.
Kick.

Remerce Mounsieur. Me drinke two tree cup a your Claret a your vite vine sall make a me lusty.

Good.
I shall thankfully consider your paines.
Kick.

Mounsieur ven a me vark is done, you give a me leave to dance two tree foure dance, an kisse a devench two tree foure time. Oh de French man love a de fine vench vary well. You be de old man Mounsieur, and you love a de young vench: me make your de dish sall get sis Childe.

Good.
Too many on conscience.
Kick.
If de Madame love me, me get twenty.
Good.
To your businesse good Mounsieur.
Kick.
Dat be good businesse, better den go to my vark.
Exit.
The.
Observe you sir this fellow! one that ought
To be kickt into manners how he taunts you?
'Twill be the streets discourse, the conduits lecture:
And not an idle tongue but will abuse.
Your reverend name, which hitherto hath aw'd
Th' unbridled rabble.
Good.
Once more I command thee
Leave off this counsaile, growing but from feare,
That will admit no reason. Cosin Raven
Hasten my Bride: shee makes my patience tyre
With so much expection. And harke you cosin.
Whisper.
Theo.
My sun of joy's ecclipst, and all the hopes
My fancy painted, by this accident
Are blotted out. How have I merited
Of heaven thus to be punisht! But I must not
Tax providence with an injustice to me,
That have deserv'd worse curses for neglect
[Page] Of my religious duties. Only he,
My foster Father to possesse those sweets
Love promis'd my inheritance! Wer't another,
I'd from his rude hands snatch her in the Church,
Before the powerfull words should knit that knot
Nothing but death dissolves.

The third Scene.

To them Maligo and Rhenish.
Good.
Senior Maligo a most welcome guest.
Mal.
Your Servant Senior.
Good.
And Mr. Rhenish.
Rav.

The Spanish and Dutch Merchants! send there be no wars at the wedding.

Rhen.
Wee come to witnesse your solemnityes.
Good.

Welcome Mr. Rhenish: and since you are come so ear­ly lets spend the time in conference about the wines we lately spake of.

Exeunt. Theo. and Raven remayning.
Rav.
Cousin y'are sad. Would I might know the reason,
I'le helpe to put it from you.
The.
Cousin Raven,
Since love, not blood, hath made you weare that title,
Though 'tis a secret I would gladly hide,
To you I will impart it. Sent with gifts
To the faire maid that this day must be Bride
To the old man, my treacherous eyes conveigh'd
Flames to my heart from hers: which being fixt
Upon me, shot their magick influence
Of love with such a violence, that I tooke
Th' impression e're my bosome was prepar'd
And temper'd for it.
Rav.
This may be a ground
For me to work on.
The.
Duty now and honesty
[Page] Fought with my passions, and inforc't them back
To their unwilling prison: though her eye,
Look, gesture; and at parting when I tooke
Her hand to kisse it: then she held mine hard:
For all these invitations to their liberty
I durst not free them; but conceal'd even that
Perhaps she wisht to know.
Rav.
How can you doubt it?
They were all signalls that you should assault,
And shee would yeeld 'Tis but a modest custom
For men to wooe. 'Tis womens only pride
To have men court them, not to be deny'd.
Indeed it was your fault.
The.
My vertue rather.
Should I like the ingratefull serpent, sting
The bosome that hath warm'd me into life?
Desire shall burst me first. Yet I must tell you,
I am resolv'd to give my passions
This satisfaction. When the bridall ceremonies
Have had their consummation, I will travaile
And leave the cause behind. You may reveale it
When I am gone. I shall be prais'd or pittied,
For none can blame me.
Rav.
None! Yes all that heare it.
Who will not tax your indiscretion,
And want of knowing what belongs to man,
That will deny your selfe that right, perhaps
None but your selfe can challenge. we are warranted
To be indulgent to our selves so farre
As worke our own contents by any meanes
Conscience or law calls just. Then if the time
Prevent it not, try your successe: be suddain:
Steale her away and marry her.
The.
Tempt me not
Out o [...] my passion into one more dangerous.
'Twere but a just correction if I kild thee;
That would instruct me to an act of error,
Repentance could scarce win a pardon for.
Rav.
[Page]
My counsail's worth a better fee. Perhaps
You feare some trechery in me. Clere your understanding,
I'le prove you ought to do it, and I to ayde you.
You are his foster sonne, and I his kinsman.
You he intends his heire, and yet he must not
Neglect me altogether. When they are married
Sshe'l find one to get Children.
The.
Thou art base
In thy suspect of her; and but for peace
(To which this day ought to be consecrate)
It should be punish't.
Rav.
Y'are too violent.
Be calme, and understand demonstrative reason,
Children being borne, then are you disinherited.
When marrying her ther's an estate will follow
Worth thousands: For shee is the only child
Her parents ever had.
The.
And why should you
Advise to this, and ayde it?
Rav.
What more police.
Could I be guilty of? When his displeasure
Hath cast you of (for that way sure hee'l punish
The injury) stand not I faire to be
Possest of what you loose, the old mans favor?
Were you the only object of my hate,
The good I'do my self would make the act
Shew of sufficient malice: but my love
Guiding me to't—

The fourth Scene.

To them Goodlove, Maligo and Rhenish: and a little after them Iustice Ferret and his wife.
The.
'Tis well I am prevented;
My rashnesse else had executed justice
[Page] Upon thy guilt. Forbeare to tempt me farther.
Thy friendship's but the shaddow of a true one
Dar'st urge such counsail, goodnesse cannot choose but blush at.
Rav.
Howsoever you receive it
I will attempt it. I'le prepare the Bride
With this discovery: if she hath desires
Shee'l some way give them liberty. The old man
I then will pre [...]ossesse with jelousy;
And so indeere me to him, that my ends
Stand alwayes faire in their opinions.
A cunning villaine must pretend to save.
When most of all he doth intend a grave
Exit.
Good.
I like the rates: may the wines please as well
I'le not repent my bargaine.
Mal.
Trust me sir you have the best sack of Spaine.
Rhen.

And Rhenish the swan hath none better: yet ther's that will make the crookedst horner in the lane speake latin with the Bedle of Vintiners hall.

Good.
Mr. Justice Ferret,
This was a large expression of your love
To come over the water:
Fer.
'Twas my wives desire.
Good.
Kinde Mistresse Ferret.
M. Fe.

Sir, the respects I beare you, and the obedience I owe my husband that commanded it, brought me over willingly to offer my service to so noble a freind.

Good.
Your courtesies overcome me.
M. Fe.

A rot on the best linings of your three pil'd durable; your everlasting almanack of high dayes, feastes and sessions: was it my desire? Thou lyest thou wrong side of a lawyer turn'd outwards: I had better businesse at home. I could have seen if mother Whirl had spun the last pound of flax I sent her, or called at Knocks the weavers for my new Napkins. I have no maides to cudgell their tasks out of. Indeed I can hardly keepe any for such a goat as thou art.

Good.
Are ye offended with your husband Mrs. Ferret?
M. Fer.

Obedience forbid it; my head: or if I may use the honorable phrase here without offence, my cap of maintenance.

Fer.
[Page]
No no sir; shee was but excusing a few faults.
M. Fer.

How sir lubber, must the world take notice by you that I have faults or modesty to excuse them? I'le make thee com­plain a moneth of the fairies for this: the fairies of my nayles I meane; and pretend pinching for pissing in thy shooes, or such night uncleanesse.

Fer.

Sweet wife forbear a little. Thou wilt vex away thy ea­ting stomack, and here will be excellent cheer.

M. Fer.

So, so: I thought a Citty seast with a Ram-mutton pasty, and a twelve nookt custard, made with carryers eggs and the out scrapings of i [...]inglas, must tempt you to the charge of six pence over, and six pence back agen. Which with an addition of Clerks fees shar'd, and some garrison'd westphalian neates tongue or red deer pye out of my Chamber cupbord, might have been an intertainment for the Masters of the Parish in your own dyning roome; and all have been payd for too with the return of half emptyed botles.

Good.

Your wife Mr. Ferret hath call'd something to mind de­serves a chiding.

Fer.

Fye no sir: Shee is somewhat shrewish at home, but the best wife abroad—

M. Fer.

Fy, sweet heart now you flatter. 'Tis virtue enough in us to be obedient and dutyfull: we should lay our selves under our husbands feet if they command it. But i'le exalt my self or somewhat else above your head, you malkin of suburb autho­rity set up only to fright crows from the carrion of the common wealth, that it may ly still and corrupt government. Your wor­ship had best bind my tongue to the peace, my nayles should soone bayle it.

Soft Musick.

The fifth Scene

To them Father, Mother, Raven, Bride, and maides attending her.
Good.
My Bride come?
The welcom'st guest that ever blest this roof.
Fat.
Joy Crown yee both.
Good.
[Page]
May your wish be prophetick.
But why is she so sad?
Moth.
'Tis onely custome.
Maides have their feares which by degrees must leave them.
M. Fe.

May shee make him a happy wife; and prove obedient from my example.

Good.
Salute my Bride sonne: shee should be thy joy
As well as mine.
The.
I better shall expresse
Her entertainment in my pious wishes,
Then any complement I will be ready
To pay you my best duty.
Goodlove and Raven whisper.
Bride,
Love you meane sir;
Give it no other name, might I own that
And call it my possession, soone this melancholy
Should leave it's mansion, and a Brides full joy
Inhabit here. You surely do repine;
And it may be this act begets your feare
Of being dispossest a fathers love.
Which he must now in some proportion
Confer on me.
The.
Let me with reverence sweare
Offers to kisse her hand
By this white hand—
Bride,
Let me prevent your oath;
Or sweare by another book. Perhaps 'twill be
The last warme kisse my lips shall ever feel.
kisse.
I do beleeve you love me.
weeps.
The.
How shall I
Interpret this? how hard she claspt my hand,
And prest my lips? as wishing their conjunction
Might be eternall. Teares with her last words fell:
And in their filent oratory taught me
To know my selfe more wretched by the knowledge
Of what should make me happy.
Good.
Can this be?
Rav.
It hath both possibility and circumstance
To make it probable. Good [...]ir observe
Their discontents: how they do sympathize,
[Page] And meet each other. Pray sir let them have
An oportunity; Ile be the spy:
And cal you to their billing.
Good.
'Tis well counsail'd
If 'tplease you Gentlemen I have within
Some rarities, whose fight shall be your businesse
'Till we are ready. Sweet you shall forbeare them
'Till you are made their Mistresse.
Exeunt.
Rav.
Whether will you go?
Theo. offers to follow.
Wast not my plot to get this liberty
That you might put your purpose into act
If you have any? Why do you delay it?
You see shee's willing; I prepar'd her to it.
The.
Willing to what good Cousin?
Rav.
To be your Bride.
Bride.
My blusnes speak consent: then if you please
Prevent prevention. My desires were never
Setled on any other, though I durst not
Reveale my passions aw'd by feminine custome,
And my strict parents eyes. If you'l receive me,
The desperate state of my crosse fortune armes me
To any enterprise you'l be my guide in
The.
I shall be tempted to neglect that duty
I would not rashly violate, to possesse
All that my wi [...]h can covet.
Rav.
You may hereafter
Discourse your loves. Play not away th' occasion.

Her's the key of the back gate: take water presently, and away to the— whispers—I'le follow, get ye a Licence and see all dispacht. Feare not persuit: that I'le hinder.

Exeunt.

So, the foundations layd on which I'le build

My selfe a fortune, and with better safety

Then making him away: Yet he must not marry her.

That were t'enable him if my villany

Should be discovered to revenge and punish it.

The sixth Scene.

To him Goodlove, Father, Mother, Ferret, M rs. Ferret, Maligo, and Rhenish.

The old man! aide me now hypocrisie, Or all miscarries. Oh sir I have search't for you all the house over.

Good.
Hast observ'd any thing?
Rav.

I left them here so close condoling. They are questionles stolne to some private place. I'le sent them out, and bring you word.

I must absent my self for fear my joy

For this faire entrance doth discover me.

Exit.
Good.
Father in expectation I have suddainly
Bethought me of a businesse.
Fat.
Pray' what is't?
Good.
You see I am old; unfit for such a Bride.
Suppose I make a resignation,
And give my right up to another man,
One that your daughter and your self should like of.
What if my son were Bridegroom? ' [...]were a match
Would carry more proportion.
Fat.
None more gladly,
So you'l confer upon him an estate
Answering her portion.
Good.
It shall be considered of.
Wee'l know their likings.
Fer.

Will you not Marry her your self then after all these pre­parations? Why sir the world takes notice of it, and it may con­cern your credit.

Good.
Your husband counsailes well M rs. Ferret.
M. Fe.

I cannot in obedience but allow of his wisdom. Thou changling nurst with the milke of an asse whence thou derivest thy great empty noddle: must you hinder a good motion? Are there not cuckolds enough already?

Good.
Wher's the Bride Cousin?
R [...]ven returns.
Rav.
[Page]

Vanish't sir, not to be found. They are questionlesse run away together: the water gate is fast lockt, and the key without. You were doubtfull sir, and would hardly give credit to my relation.

Fat.
How! stolne away together! what plots are these?
Good.
Yours sir, to undoe the reputation
Of an old man.
Fat.
Rather your own, t [...] ruine
My only comfort.
Fer.

Proceed you sir in your late motion and this difference will soone find a reconciliation. Is not the Gentleman his only son.

Good.
No sonne of mine, but the most monstrous birth
Of base ingratitude that ever made
Charity frozen. I found him in the fields,
An Infant almost starv'd, and bred him up.
It seems for this.
Moth.
Alasse our child's undone.
Fat.
Pursue the villaine. If the extremity
Of Law can do it, I will hang him for't.
Rav.
I should be glad of that.
Fat.
If I can prove sir your least knowledge makes you
A party in't, your state or mine shall crack for't.
Good.
Do you sir threaten me in mine own house.?
My credit's more at stake, then that I should
Be calme: but once I give you priviledge.
Fat.
Comelets' to water: we perhaps may take them.
Rav.
Yes at the Tower questionlesse.
Exeunt. Father and Mother.
Fer.
Sir if I find them in my precinct.
M. Fer.

What will you do? If thou dost the least wrong to the loving couple, though I burn for it, I will roast thee alive and sell thy greasie kidnies for kitchinstuffe.

Kickshaw enters with plate under his cloake.
Rav.
A good proceeding hitherto.
Kick.

No vench, no veding? Me bid you adiew Mounsieur; you no need a me varke.

Good.
Farewell Mounsieur. Reward him Cosin.
Kick.

Here be revard: two, tree silver dish, and tree, foure spoone make Mounsieur a jentleman an buy define vench beyond [Page] de water. Me no stay for de reward.

Exit.
Good.
Ha hah hah he.
Laughs.
Mal.

Why laugh you sir? make you no more account of so great an injurie?

Good.
They'r gone: and now I'le tell ye gentlemen,
I knew the boy did love her, and I meant
He only should enjoy her; but pretended
My self would marry her, thereby to worke
A greater portion out of her covetous Father;
And to insinuate my selfe into
A perfect knowledge of his true estate.
Now since h'hath play'd the wagge, preventing me
Of mine own plot, you all shall in and witnesse
My act of love to him: I'le instantly
Confirm him my full heire, reserving something
For you my kinsman: whom I desire
Use your best diligence to finde them out,
And bring them home, but coupled. And you gentlemen
Dispense with this dayes accident, your cheer
To morrow shall be doubled.
Ex [...]nt.
Rav.
How is this?
My plot's prevented too; curse on the charme
That witcheth you to love him. Bring them home,
But coupled: sine employment. Yet 'tis well
You tell me your intent. My brain must work
Some more succesfull mischiefe that may hit.
No villaine can prosper without wit.
Exit.

The second Act,

the first Scene.

Squirrell, and after him a Drawer.
Squir.

Your deligence knaves, or I shall canvase your pole davyes, deafen not a gallant with your anon anon fit, to make hi [...] stop his cares at an over-reckoning. Can a mansion pur­chased [Page] and payd for be converted into a house of enterteinment, and subsist without commings In and goings Out? Now sir what say you?

Dra.

The reconing sir for Mr. Serge the Mercer, and the Scri­veners wife, that have been these two houres in the yellow bed-Chamber.

Squi.
And what had they?
Dra.
A dish of collops and egges, and wine.
Squi.
Sixteen shillings! 'tis well.
Dra.

But her husband had half a quire of paper and bastard by himself in the Buls-head: which would hardly keep him emploi'd below stayres; he was going up to peep through the key hole.

Squi.

Sawcy Scrivener! peep through a key hole! shouldst have had him by the cares.

Dra.
His peeping through a hole cost them long since.
Squi.
And this came freely!
Dra.
He woundred sir it was no more.
Exit. Dra.
Squi.

Go carry the blades in the Lion a pottle of sack from me: their roaring must be maintain'd out of my profit. They are good procurers; and help now and then to stane of an over heated Cittizen that persues his game, too egerly. Though my ho ly-day squires of the city bring me in most gain, my free Knights of the suburbs, the erants of Lincoln-Inn fields, where their rande­vous makes the gunpowder house terrible, and the smock tribute due to their order is daily and nightly exacted: these I say are the best mainteiners of my profits occasion; and Squirrell must venter cracking to maintaine them whilst his sign and bush lasts.

The second Scene.

To him Theophilus and Bride. Y'are welcome sir.
The.
The Master of the house!
Squi.

The poore owner of some goods and chattels; movea­bles and immoveables, with a small stock to drive a trade.

The.
We would desire the use of a roome.
Squi.
You shall be accommodated.
The.
[Page]
We expect a frieind; 'till he comes this may serve.
Squi.
What you please sir. A towell firrah quickly.
Exit.
Bri.
Thou seem'st sweet hart as if th' hadst feares within thee.
We may securely now discourse our loves,
And weary time with words, 'till we are fit
To act our wishes.
The.
The fulnesse of my joyes
Happ'ning so suddain ere I was prepar'd
To taste them with an appetite, hath bred
A surfet in me.
Bri.
Now you smell of flattery
I would not have you court what you possesse
with any attribute above its merit.
If my being yours you count your happinesse,
Let us be suddain to confirme our selves
Mutually happy, e're our parents rage
Can reach us to prevent it.
The.
That word parents.
Makes me reflecton my ingratitude:
Being greater far then infamous recordes
Did ever punish; and like pleasant dreames
My joyes are chang'd to nothing.
Bri.
Suddaine dumbs:
Whence are they? to my selfe I am not guilty
Of a behaviour that should merrit this.
I prethee let me blush, and kisse away
The clowdes hang on thy brow. No discontent
Should interpose where equall love hath mixt
Equall desires; and for the noble end
No base dependance. For could I but think
Thy soule did harbor any bastard thought
Which goodnesse might not father, I would back
To my disgrace; and confidently meet
My parents anger; all th' affronts of rumor;
And what the rabble pleas'd rather then stay
To nurse it to a growth.
The
Then pray' return;
But not to your disgrace; all shall be thrown
Upon my guilt. And though my love (unstain'd
[Page] With the least blemish of impure affection)
Gave th' act allowance, I'le belye my self,
And say I did enforce you; which the law
May punish with my life. I'le give it up,
To end th' affliction of my soule, divided
'Twixt love to you, and duty to that man
I have so wrong'd.
Bri.
Can love admit such scruples?
Or is't thy coldnesse? I was too too credulous.
But the necessity deny'd more tryall.
Here's a pretence indeed.
The.
Can there be greater?
Ingratitude's a monster. Shall I then
Repay that man with injurie, that gave
My almost starv'd life warmth, and made me breathe
Though to be miserable
Bri.
Thou dost surely
Want the best part of man, and art not capable.
Of resolution. Such a coward spirit
Lodgeth not here. I now suspect thy worth,
And blame my rashnesse.
The.
Why should I be taxt
With such defect? Know then I dare deserve you
By any enterprize that may be credible.
Invention cannot fancy an employment
I would not manage to confirm my love
Worthy your best opinion, only this
My conscience frights me from.
Bri.
Why then farewell.
Passion will guide me some where, goodnesse guard me
From a despaire; and whatsoever end
I am dispos'd for, I'le remember thee
Deny'st thy self good in denying me.
Offers to go away.

The third Scene.

To them the Drawer with a towell.
Dra.
What's your wine sir?
The.
Presently. Stay.
Puls back bride.
Dra.
Your pleasure sir.
Bride weepes.
The.
I meane not you.
Dra.
I know your meaning sir.
Exit. Drawer.
The.
Why should those pearles be wasted,
Till they enrich my funerall? Distraction
Hurries my thoughts, and hindreth them from ord'ring
Any resolve. Have I proceeded hitherto?
And shall I now give back? The infamy
Sticks on my name already; and the stain
Thrown on it by the black mouth'd multitude
For being in gratefull, by bare satisfaction
Cannot be washt away. Her vertue likewise
will be suspected. I must therefore on
Since reason prompts me to it. Love shall excuse
The act, and my neglect of other dues.
Sweet I am now resolv'd.
Bri.
Resolv'd! to what?
The.
To consummate our wishes.
Bri.
Now I think on't
'Tis better not. I find my flame abated:
My lov's not half so violent, I can stay,
And try you first.
The.
How's this? why will you now
Change your intent that seem'd so resolute?
'Twill make us be the subject of discourse,
And libelling ballads; every goships feast
Will make mirth from our shame.
Bri.
No matter for't
I now begin t'examine what's in you
S [...]king An indifferent handsome fra [...];
[Page] The superficies neatly varnisht over.
In it should dwell a soule rich as the building
Doth promise to the eye; but I suspect it.
Thy actions suite not with a noble spirit.
Thy lov's but wanton passion, not the vertue
Should give it warrant. He that would be mine,
Must in his mind as well as outward shine.
Agen farewell.
Offers again to go.
The.
Stay: I have fool'd my selfe
Into a maze of errors, and do want
M' instructive part to guide me. All my faculties
Of soule are puzled, and at every turning.
Do mate themselves with doubts. Why should you feigne
This cruelty to kill me, when my joyes
Were almost strengthned in the life you gave them,
So far as not to feare a new relaps?
Having corrected all the accidents
Of my diseas'd love, will you now desist
To make a perfect cure?
Bri.
Medicines apply'd
To an unwilling or distrustfull patient
Their working's hindred. You have ill receiv'd
The meanes; and what succedes, your selfe is guilty of;
No cruelty of mine.
The.
Are you resolv'd then
To send me back to my first misery?
And anew make me wretched?
Bri.
'Till confirm'd
Ther's merit in you.
The.
Is my want of that
Onely suspected by you? Heare me first,
And then farewell. May I be curst beyond
Recovery by my penitence; let heaven
Ne're make me master of a wish that may
Include my least good, if I marry you—
Bri.
How's this?
The.
Untill your parents free consent,
And the good liking of that injur'd man
[Page] Allow it publike ceremony
Bri.
Thou canst not
Figure a more impossibility.
It must be never then. Call in thy vow;
The rashnesse will dispense wich't
The.
That might give
A new occasion for your cruell wit
To tax me with new weaknesse. Know I can
Be man as well as lover; and am fixt
In my resolve, beyond the power of change
By any passion.
Bri.
I have play'd too long
With the false shaddow of my happinesse,
And mockt away the substance. By my love
Zealous as ever kindled a chast flame
I [...] any maidens brest, I but dissembled
To try thy patience, and beget discourse.
I am so well confirm'd in my opinion
Of thy desert, that should a thousand tongues
Swoln with detraction, break their tum'rou [...] bags,
Venting from thence the most corrupted malice
That ever made man infamous to me
It should be flatt'ring praise.
The.
Did you dissemble?
Could she who through her eyes conveigh'd her heart,
And the assurance of her best desires
When other meanes were filenst; sh [...]e that taugh [...]
My equall passion to interpret lookes,
Teares, smiles, and read in those dumb characters
Her soule, dissemble? or with any counterfet
Disturb his joy that only from her truth
Derives it true possession? Jealousie
May then be warranted, since 'tis a vertue
Noble and masculine when justly grounded.
Was not your love dissembled? meant you not
To make a property of these proceedings
For some ends of your own? Dispose your self
A [...]ur will guides you; 'twill but make my life
[Page] Somewhat more tedious wanting your society:
Besides whom I renounce all woman kind.
Bri.
I man besides thee. Do not tempt thy fate
Too far beyond a reconciliation
With opportunity; as yet it serves.
If this day give thee not possession of me
Never expect it. I shall find a place
To keep out shame. In some chast fellowship
I'le learn to pay religious vows to heaven.
And pray since here we cannot, we may be
Happy heareafter in eternity.
weeps.
The.
Dissolve not with those teares my passive heart
That weeps within me. They will almost tempt me
To worse then sacrilege. Anon we will
Consult and practice something.

The fourth Scene.

To them Squirell. After him Raven.
Squi.

By the description he makes of you a gentleman below enquires for you. I was not curious to aske your name, but I know hi [...].

The.
My cosin Raven!
Squi.
The same sir.
The.
Pray' direct him to us.
Squi.
What's your wine sir?
The.
When he comes.
Squi.

This is sure some hide-bound student, that proportions his exp [...]nce by his pension; and wencheth at Tottenham court for stewed prunes and cheescakes. Hee's not [...]quainted with the generous way, and I shall have the lesse scruple to cosin him.

Exi [...].
The.
Be not so clowdy sweet; our sun of joy
May shine at full, and cleere those dusky mists;
Obscure it for a season. Welcome Cosin
Unto our exp [...]ctation.
Rav.
[Page]
The wine [...]oye.
within.
Anon anon sir: by and by.
The.
Cosin the news? how go matters?
Rav.
The tempest's layd, but they are scatter'd by it.
Some to the Tower; to Pancrace others run.
Noise fils the roomes within, and in the street
The rabble is convented; where a jury
Of wide mouth'd oyster wives, to whom the foreman
A one legg'd ballad singer opens tunably
The merry case, not onely do acquit you,
But prayse the act; and sweare a ballad of i [...]
Would out sell all the libells ever yet
M. P. subscrib'd to.
The.
'Tis an act indeed
Drawer [...]ers wit [...] wi [...]e and Exit.
Deserves reproach
Rav.
Deserves a Chronicle
A legend of delight. Which when 'tis read
By the learn'd youth of Hogsden after supper,
Shall cause such laughter 'mongst th' attentive family,
That cheap-side wives shall curse the noise, for sowring
The market womens creame and buttermilke.
The.
Y'are very pleasant Cousin. Some mans jelousy.
Would soone interpret it to be but scorn.
What you intend it—
Rav.
Cosin it is my zeale
Makes me thus light and ayery; yet rather
Then my behaviour should give way unto
The least suspition, I'le put on a shape
Of like dejectednesse, as seems to cloath
Your melancholick Bride; But how 'twould show
'Th occasion makes it doubtfull. If shee'l weep
Upon her wedding day, let it not be
But that shee apprehends th' ensuing night
Brings on her joyfull feares. Cosin lets drink
A health to the effect: a jolly boy
Will follow feare not.
Drinkes
Bri.
Yet the cause is hi [...]dred.
Pray' let your counsailes in our danger be
[Page] Movers unto [...]ore serious thoughts and actions.
Our peace is not yet settled; and we doubt
What the successe may be which our proceedings
Are destin'd to.
Rav.
Successe! the best that time,
And th' application of endeavours can
Crown your desires with. Yet I must confesse
Your parents storme, and threaten death if law
By any trick can urge it. But the old man
Seems to forgive you; onely his intent
Is to dispose his state some other way
Then leave the least part yours. Which to comply for
With any least submission I should rather
Banish my self his sight, and cancelling
All th' obligations of indebted duty,
Scorn to be flatter'd into payment of it.
Cosin be rul'd by me; confirme yourself
In this possession. You may find delights
Enjoying one another though restrain'd
A generall liberty. Get into the Country
Remote enough, but where you may receive
Weekly intelligence and meanes from me;
Which I'l supply you with in a proportion
For moderate expence. As things grow ripe
I can informe you. As it hath been ever,
It shall be still my care to do you offices
(For mine own ends.)
The.
You have my deerest cosin
Given large testimony of your love;
Requitall must be studied. But for this
You have advis'd to, a quite different course
Is here resolv'd on, and my [...]ow hath seal'd it.
I [...]st returne to labor a consent
F [...]om those I have so wrong'd; which if deny'd me,
I never must enjoy, what I desire
Above my self.
Rav.
Consent. 'twould soone [...]e had,
If I prevent it not.
A noise within.
What noise is that?
[Page] Perhaps some that pursue you; hide your selves▪
Her's an inner roome.
Puts them into another roome.

The fifth Scene.

To him Squirell peeping.
Squi.

So, so, this is right gentlemen; one for another. Yet shee lookes not like carrion of Mr. Ravens leaving; I have sel­dome known him turn over any flesh to another that hath not been sufficiently tainted.

Rav.

This accident what ere it was hath gain'd me an op­portunity. Squirell thou must be intelligent and trusty. Hast observ'd?

Squi.
Why is she a wench?
Rav.

Ther's a question now to bring thy wit in question, and condemn thee for a puny politick in the s [...]ock state. What blades are in the house?

Squi.
Rashbe, Spil [...]n, Po [...]ard, and others.
Rav.
And they made the noise?
Squi.
Right sir.
Rav.
Will they attempt?
Squi.
Any thing for you sir. Shall it be an affront?
Rav.

More, more: send them up; and applye thy self with cunning as thou expectest ever to thrive by the chostly sins of wenching.

Squi.

I have known you Mr. Raven a bird of the flesh these many yeares, and if I should not respect an old standard.

Exit.
Rav.
Away then to the execution.
Co [...]in our feares was causelesse.
The [...]. and Bride come forth againe.
The.
Had they been
Such as it spake them, we might well have staid
And yeelded to them. We had only seem'd
Compell'd to what we fre [...] [...] [...].

The sixth Scene.

To them the Blades.
Rav.
Have you businesse with any here sir?
1 Bla.
I do not use to answer sir. Sweet Lady.
The.
What fellow's this?
1 Bla.

Fellow? one that will admit no fellow sir. Fellow! Fellow your selfe.

The.

More! I suspect some rudenesse. Pray Cofin call the Master of the house.

2 Bla.

The Master of the house is the master of the house; but we will master both him and you unlesse you deliver.

The.
My purse?
3 Bla.
Your she familiar sir; we would be familiar with her.
The.
You a [...]e foule mouth'd
1 Bla.

How sir Cittizen! do you think e're you are quite fledge in the nest, with the shell of your cuckows eg [...] upon your head to confront us? We are blades; and blades must be scoured.

Bri.
What meane you sir?
2 Bla.
Your servant sweet Lady.
The.

She is none of your pleasure Ladies, 'tis a wrong dire­ction of your base thoughts.

3 Bla.

Base! Cit. thou deserv'st the cane: but this Ladies good­nesse commands thy pardon.

Bri.
You are mistaken sir, I have no skill
In th' art of prostitution.
1 Bla.
You shall be instructed Lady; 'tis the Blades profession.
The.
Forbear your rudenesse; if you must be wicked.
Let your temptations be directed where
The sin is grown to custome. Her chaste eares
Never receiv'd such sounds.
2 Bla.
Come come, you must sweet Lady.
Bri.
What sir?
1 Bla.

A long with us: we are company indeed. Who would [...] Cit. (whose teeth are rotten out with sweet meates his mo­ther [Page] brings him from goshippings) breathe upon her vernish for the promise of a dry neats tongue and a pottle of Rhenish at the stillyard, when she may command a Blade to toss and tum­ble her? and (if she should pawn a petticoat) beat such a fellow as this is till he hath redeem'd it.

The.
Advantage may do much; but I would wish ye
Desist, and be more civill: 'tis not th' odds else
Shall fright me from attempting to correct you.
2 Bla.
Correct us! nay then along Lady.
One drawes & stands at the door, whilst the other carry her away.
Bri.
Help me sweet heart, will ye use violence?
The.
Ye cowards, gainst an unarm'd man!
Rav.
May not I passe?
3 Bla.

Not through me sir, unlesse you were a Blade; the fra­ternity may claime some privildege.

The.
Then arme me Justice.
Theo. throwes his cloake on the others point; gets with­in him and takes away his sword.
3 Bla.
Hold, for heavens sake hold.
The.
Thy life! I scorn it: 'tis too base to pay
A satisfaction; she must be redeem'd
At a far higher rate.
Exit.
Rav.
My wishes issue
In all things yet. Are you much hurt sir?
3 Bla.

A scratch or so. If the rest scape no better, I shall be­leeve there is more valour in some, then what's onely shown at a Finsbury muster.

Exit. Ent. Squi. hastily.
Squi.

Your ayd master Raven, or we shall have murder done. The young gentleman sir, the young gentleman—

Exit.
Rav.
I hope so, if my plot succeeds.
This was an unlookt businesse thrust upon me.
But I must practise my hipocrisie
With best art; else suspition may discover.
The guilt that's in me. Sure he's dead by this time,
Unlesse his skin be proof against their points.
If one of them should fall, and he escape
The rest I will suborne to make his life
The lawes. Thus villany like a pregnant mother
From the successe of one begets another.
Exit.

The third Act

the first Scene.

Theophilus beating in the Blades before him; Bride, Raven and Squirrell.
1 Bla.
Hold hold; I am hurt.
2 Bla.
I bleed too.
1 Bla.
If my sword had had a point, I had payd him home.
Squi.
I beseech you sir be pacified.
The.
Sir if your house be a place priviledg'd
For such abuses, it must be inform'd of,
That law may punish it. But for these shadows,
Mockshapes of valour; [...]were it not for stayning
My innocent hands, I would compell your soules
Black as they are to give me satisfaction
As ye expire them.
Bri.
Prethee sweet no more;
Tis well th' art safe.
1 Bla.

We do acknowledge an error sir; and for satisfaction sir and to preserve peace, our weapons shall be deliver'd up to the Master of the house.

Rav.
Mischiefe upon their basenesse; how are they
Declin'd from men! I hop't one desperate thrust
Or stroake e're this had sent him to his quiet,
And cut off farther labor to contrive it;
It racks my invention. Yet I cannot rise
To what I ayme at but by his ruine.
1 Bla.
We hope you'l do the like sir.
The.
If I were confident of safety.
But you must give me leave being one that can
Command my selfe and passion. This with me
Serves as an instrument of peace, and may
Fright an intended mischiefe from me. Good sir
Retaine their weapons as you'l answer it
At your own perill.
Squi.
Surely Mr. Raven, you were mistaken; this is no wench.
Exit.
2 Bla.
[Page]
Baffled and hurt! we may revenge it sir.
The.
Ye properties of men, made up of rags
And outside onely, shoot your threats at those
That feare the bubbles. Think not here to triumph
As o're your easie guls, that must redeem
Their safties from the danger of your furies,
By battering downe with th' engine of their purse
Some sconch your drunken valour in a taverne
Hath built with sack.
3 Bla.
So sir.
The.
Be gone, for feare you urge me
To more impatience: Yet my charity
Affords ye this good counsayle. The world's full
Of brave imploiments for men capable.
Y'have persons, but want mindes for actions
That might ennoble ye. Honor attends
On warre; ye only call your selves by names
Of Captaines and Lieftenants here where peace
Is most secure, but when your drunken quarrells
Disturb her. Go to th'warres, and save the Citty
The chargeable reparing of their prisons.
1 Bla.
Wee'l think upon your satire.
[...] Bla.

Take the scabbard too. My belt I'le pawn [...]or a scarfe to hang my arme in, that the not wearing of a sword may have pretence; 'till whose recovery I am degraded from a Blade to a Battoone.

Exeunt the Blades.
Bri.
How lovely showes this valour? That in men
There should be so much difference.
The.
Why so sad Coz? What think you on?
Rav.
I was contriving mischiefe.
The.
Mischiefe! 'gainst whom?
Rav.
I shall betray my selfe.
A merry harmlesse mischiefe; whose relation
Shall make the Ice of melancholick spleenes
Dissolve with laughter. 'Tis a prety plot
Upon those roarers.
The.
Pray' impart it then.
Rav.
There is a passage in't unperfect yet
How apt is guilt to be its own discoverer?
[Page] I almost had spoil'd all.
The.
I do begin weighing the circumstance
To be possest
With a suspect of his sincerity.
Hee's surely trecherous; and perhaps occasion'd
The late attempt upon me, so to have
Remov'd the bar he feares might shut him out
From an inheritance I never coveted.
I must not be too credulous. What's the reason
You are so clowdy Cosin? In your eyes
Me thinks I read sad thoughts; your merry mischiefe
Promis'd more lightsomnesse.
Rav.
I cannot yet
Fancy a good conclusion; it hath passages
That would be get a neate one. Are you Cosin
Resolv'd on your returne? or will you practise
As I advis'd?
The.
Doth that concerne your plot?
Rav.
I mind no plots; my mind is onely busie
To make you safe.
The.
Safe! which way meane you Cosin?
Rav.
Pray' wrest it not. Suppose those baffled roarers
Should in revenge way-lay you: they are mischievous;
And if you should miscarry—
The.
No great matter:
There were an end of misery. You need not
Be much sollicitous to prevent my danger;
Since on my death depends the assurance
Of an estate to you. When you enjoy it,
If my cold ashes might be capable
Of such expressions, they should dance for joy
Fortune had so rewarded you, that merrit
Above her flatter [...]: which she but practis'd
When I was interpos'd by great [...]r accident
Then ever yet made learned error give her
The prophane attributes of a deity.
Rav.
He surely doth suspect me.
The.
Had I faln
[Page] (As ten to one I might, had not the cause
Given me the greater ods.) Had you contriv'd it—
Rav.
How's that! your jelousy is an unkindnesse
My love deserves not.
The.
I hope you are not guilty,
That catch th' uncertain meaning of my words
E're they are perfected; and preinterpret
Thoughts that had never being! I may then
Justly have doubts. For innocence unmov'd
At a false accusation, doth the more
Confirme it selfe; and guilt is best discover'd
By its own feares.
Rav.
Pray fancy what you please
To strengthen your suspition: 'tis indeed
So weakly grounded, that unlesse you prop it
With better circumstances, your own s [...]ame
Shall ruine it, and justifie my truth.
I must out fac't.
The.
Your own impatience
May serve for one. This house you sent us to
For ought I know a Brothell. You are noted
For one that surfets in the pleasant sin:
And he that without scruple dares persue it,
Dares without scruple do or be consenting
To any mischiefe from whose execution
The meanes may be derived that will maintaine
His lust and riot.
Rav.
'Tis not well that you
Digresse from your first plea to this foule satire.
You should not tax my life, since it hath done you
Those offices deserve (besides your thanks)
Your most indulgence to my greatest faults
Nor doth it show of noble nature in you
To credit infamy from a report,
Untill confirm'd by knowledge. Howsoever
You have declar'd your self in your suspition;
And hence forth I desist: my practises
Have been so fruitlesse. One I had contriv'd
[Page] To Crown th' expression of my zealous care
In your affaires. You might have us'd my love
To better ends.
Bri.
Pray' [...]ir continue it,
And reconcile your passions, he shall be
No more in such an error, to mistake
The ayme of your intentions. From my warrant
He shall agen be settled in's opinion
Of your fidelity, not to be alter'd
By after accidents.
Rav.
When once suspected,
Can I presume that any undertaking
Will be received well?
Bri.
Prethee sweet remove
Th' ill grounded jealousy and heare him. Hee'l
Propose what may be usefull.
Rav.
I shall never
But feare hereafter all my actions
Will not be fairely constred.
The.
It must be
By that feare onely. Cosin I nere brought
My doubts to such a positive conclusion,
But that they might be chang'd to better truth
By your least satisfaction. If you have
Design'd ought for our good, and that my judgement
Gives it allowanc [...], no suspition shall
Hinder the execution.
Rav.
Might I be
Confirm'd no missinterpretation should
Wrest the intent.
The.
I am not capable
Of a new doubt, unlesse your doubts beget it.
Then pray' impart your counsaile.
Rav.
Thus it is.
I have a little country house neer Epping;
Thither I would convey you. You may there
Conceale your selfe some time; In which I'le practise
A reconciliation with their loves
[Page] By all the meanes th [...]t my invention
Can worke. Nor thinke I have sinister ends;
But faire, as ever perfect friendship made
Glorious in the successe.
Bri.
Prethee consent
To this faire motion.
The.
Cosin to expresse
How far I am from feare of any trechery
You might be guilty of; what you advise to
Shall be put into instant act. This key
Will leade you where my husbandry hath stor'd
Something from honest gain, without least wronging
The old mans trust; I pray' convey it hither
Where wee'l expect you.
Rav.
Please you to command
My store; what I am Master of is your [...].
I shall gaine time to plot; my suddaine pollicies
Wanted a right foundation.
within.
They are here an't please yo [...]r worship.
Bri.
We are anew betray'd.
Rav.
Mischiefe forbid it.
Within.
You shall have justice feare it not.
Within.
You may take my warrant gentlemen.

The second Scene.

To them the Blades, Iustice Ferret, M rs. Ferret, and Raven.
Rav.
The Justice! then all's marr'd.
Fer.
What Mr. Bridegroome?
M. Fe.
And Mistresse Bride! send you joy.
Fer.
Are you the—
M rs. Fer.

Let me speake sir parrat; must you be repeating your sessions lecture, and I in place?

Squi.

The Justice knowes them. Best shift for your selve [...] least you be found the most delinquents, and forced from your [...]wer of pleasure here to peepe through a grate or taste the [Page] charity of Bridewell.

Exeunt Blades.
M. Fe.
You are complaind of by these—
Fer.
Ha! whether are they gone that accused you?
The.
Without their accusation I submit
My selfe to th' law. And if you have direction
To use your power, let it acquit this gentlewoman
From the ensuing scandale, I'le be patient
With any punishment the just revenge
Of those I have so wrong'd can lay upon me.
M. Fe.
Is she not your wife?
The.
Heaven hath forbid it, and my penitence
Restores her back.
Bri.
It shall not by my hopes
Of comfort in thy love. If your commission
Be for our apprehension.—
M. Fe.

Truly Mistresse Bride I should be glad to apprehend you in bed together: 'twas expected all had been cock sure by this. 'Twas but a plot of your old foster father to pretend mar­rying her himselfe when he meant her onely for you.

Rav.
They will discover all; curse on the accident
That brought them hither.
M. Fe.

To expresse it more fully, and how deere you are to him, he hath conserred his whole estate upon you. My Worship­full husbands hand is to the writing.

Fer.
It is indeed sir.
M. Fe.
Is it so sir? as if my word were not sufficient!
Rav.
Heare them attentively, and then your care.
The.
I do heare words that must be scan'd and constred.
Fer.
He appointed that gentleman to find you out.
The.
Amazement hath possest me wholly.
Rav.
Although my person came before you, sir,
You were the first deliverer of this joy,
Which I conceal'd for reasons: but desire
I now may finish all in private:
M. Fer.
Talke your fill sir, whilst I drinke mine.
drinks.
Rav.
Cosin I know you wonder at the strangenesse
Of all: for which take this briefe satisfaction.
You are betrayd to receive punishment,
[Page] For what you rather do deserve a Crown.
This Justice and my selfe had the instructions
All's nothing but a plot to get you back.
The.
Why then would you pretending love conceale it?
And mock my feares with such diversity
Of dangerous accidents, you brought upon them?
Rav.
Alasse had I reveal'd the circumstance
Of his profest love; fiegn'd intentions
And the smooth traps were layd to catch you in,
I know your nature of such easie temper,
You rather would have flattered your selfe
Into beliefe of them, then your own danger.
'Twas my prevention.
The.
How I shall determine,
And reconcile these differences to truth
Is hard. Be firme my resolution:
I will be satisfi [...]d, and yet prevent
The danger that is her. My Cosin Raven
Is certainly a villaine. You have been sir
The con fortablest messenger of pardon
That ere ingag'd a man; and if you please
To be the instrument of farther good,
You'l find us gratefull.
M. Fe.
Command both me and mine husband.
The.
Pray' take this gentlewoman to your care,
Whilst I go back to make acknowledgemen [...]
Of the greate benefits are done me.
Bri.
I will along with thee likewise.
Rav.
By no meanes▪
Let him be satisfied of all that's past
Which I'le instruct him how without his danger,
Whilst you are absent.
The.
Shall shee be your charge?
Fer.
She shall go to our house.
M. Fe.

And welcome with my husbands good liking. To your house? as if the enterteinment of constables on a sharing day were not chargeable enough, but you must complement a­way wine and sweet meats. 'Tis enough that we wish them well; let others do them good.

F [...]
[Page]
Sweet wi [...]e [...]; I have found out another way.
Rav.
Observe me sir, I will discover more.
D'you thinke 'tis fit my cosin go alone sir?
Suppose those bassled roarers (whom he did
Justly correct) way l [...]y him; may there not
Be danger i [...]'t?
Fer.

You say well sir. Standish and Dash my Clerkes shall a long with him. Or what thinke you of my neighbour Catch the Marshalls man? the sight of him would fright them.

Rav.
Do you marke that sir he would have you guarded.
Would you were off: I'le tell you more by th' way.
I'le along with you Cosin, so I may
Borrow a weapon.
Squi.
You may have one of these.
The.
Lett's on; I will returne to our full joyes;
I go but to prepare them. And find out
The meaning of these riddles.
Bri.
My prayers go with thee.
Exit.
Rav.
By this, wh [...]t I intend shall be conferr'd
Upon those roarers, that will carry circumstance
To make it creditted, and quit me wholly
Of all suspect. In mischeife ther's content,
When we on others lay the punishment.
Exit.
Fer.

Come Mistresse Bride, wee will walke and see some rari­ties and antiquities till they return. There is one in the neigh­bourhood is stor'd with them; as if he had translated the Capi­tall hither.

M. Fe.

The motion's good: it should have been mine sir. You shall see the feathers of a Phenix; the beake of a Pelican, and the skins of [...]irds, beasts and fishes, stufft with hay, enough to bring down the marker. For coynes and meddalls he hath those with inscriptions that speake their date 500 yeeres before the use of letters. He hath the fingers and toes of a Colossus, and three hayres of a giants upper lip, each of them as big as a bull rush. Then he hath the the members of a pignie, that cannot be discern'd but through a multiplying glas. Yet it is thought he would gladly part with all he hath for the Phylosophers stone; I or the Unicornes horne at Windsor.

F [...].
[Page]

Come come, he hath those things a prince might glory to be owner of, and 'tis bravely done of him to affect them.

Bri.
Such sights will be delightfull. I must strive
In what I may my sad thoughts to withstand;
Which do presage some mischief's neere [...]t hand.
Ex [...]t.
Squi.

Y' are welcome with a mischiefe to the occasion that brought you hither. Here hath been attendance for a quart of win [...]and that not payd for. Some better customers, or I shall crack without credit. My Blades baffled too! Their losse must be re­pair'd upon the next advantage.

The third Scene.

To him Kickshaw like a Gentleman.

You are welcome sir.

Kick.

Pray' take a me cloake: me back be so hot, will burn a hole in it.

Squi.
Would you have a cooler sir?
Kick.
You understand for bien: de vench, de veneh.
Squi.
Excuse moy pur [...]la.
Kick.
Parle Francois Monfieur?
Squi.
Non intendo.
Kick.

You fall intand dat me be de French jentleman; dat me have two tre [...] crown in me pocket and the vuld have a de vine and de vench, and be merry in de shamber.

Squi.
I'le send one to you sir.
Exit.
Kick.

Remercie Monsieur. Voe call a me Cooke now! de greasie Larone! True; me make de Franch dish for de Lor: h [...] give me two tree peece; me steale two tree peece of plate more, dat buy de sor, de ha [...] an de seder; and Monsieur be so good a jentleman as—

The fourth Scene.

To him the Blades, first one, then the rest and afterwards the Wenches.
1 Bla.
Who sit?
Drawer brings in wine and Exit.
Kick.
Me have noting to say to you
1 Bla.
I had thought you had sent for me.
Kick.
You be no vench Monsieur.
1 Bla.
Would you have me to procure you one?
Kick.
Me give you de vine and you fetch a de vench.
1 Bla.
Do you take a Blade for a Pandare?
Kick.
You no quarrell vid me?
1 Bla.

Yes and pisse upon your back canopie, that shadowes your halfe roasted kidneis if you dishonor a Blade with the least suspition. Yet in a faire way I care not to exchange a glasse or two.

Kick.

Vid all mine art. But pray' Monsieur be you no so hot in de mout.

1 Bla.

Do you disparage my Tobaco? I assure you sir it is right Spanish.

Kick.
Me can no endure de Spanish.
1 Bla.

Not your Blade? why your French temper will not beare an edge to chop rotten lytter for morter.

Kick.

You speak not like a jentelman dat love not to be a al mode.

1 Bla.
Poxe on your mode
Kick.
Dat be no good vard Monsieur.
1 Bla.

Doth it touch you sir? why 'tis your credit to be markt by that French Herald for a gentleman of fashion.

Kick.

Me can be no more patiant. Me cut in two tree two­sand peece for dishonor the French jentelman.

2 Bla.
Will you so sir? we are for you.
As he offers to draw, the Blades come in and binde him.
Kick.
Oh de base coward.
3 Bla.
We shall be valiant enough to over come your mettal.
Kick.
Help help; de teeves rob me.
Picks his Pocket.
1 Bla.

No no Monsieur, you shal have a vench for your mony, [Page] when you have enter'd into bonds for your good behaviour.

Kick.
De gran English [...]on you all▪ Vat you do vid me?
1 Bla.

Worke a cure (if we can) on the itch in your blood, that hath infected many of our wenches, and made them dange­rous to us.

Kick.
Oh diable! que faite vous?
2 Bla.
He speakes ends out of a puppet play.
Kick.
Help help; de teeves kill me beate me.
1 Bla.
Peace Monsieur; you shall have a wench presently.
Wine, Musick, and whilst you in dalliance, meet
Wee'l tread a measure with our nimble feet
Shall tempt you to be sportive, if desire
Want whetting and renew the active fire.
Come wenches. Monsieur ther's a she for you.
Your meat is paid for; if you lik't fall to.
Having taken away his m [...]ney, sword and belt they sing and dance about him, whilst an ilfavour'd greasy wench offers sometimes to kisse him.
Kick.

Oh fye fee. De teef, rogue poison me vid de stinking Maquarell.

1 Bla.
Lett's leave him now t'his patience, and go share.
And when you want a wench to coole you Monsieur,
You know wher's those can take your courage down sir.
Exeunt
Kick.

Oh de villain, de Laroone! my sor an my money; and de slut leave a varse stinck behind her den de Fransh Cook kishin stuffe

The fifth Scene.

To him Squirrell.

Oh Monsieur help me. Me go to de Constable, and de bedle sall vip for dis.

Squirrell unbinds him.
Squi.

What's here? how came you bound? Not for any good behaviour.

Kick.

De t [...]fes kill me and rob me. Fetch a me cloak, me go [...]o de Justice and his clerk. Fetch a me cloak I say.

Squi.
[Page]

Presently sir. But now I have releast you, who shall pay the reckoning? 'tis five shillings you and your company have had in wine.

Kick.

Oh Diable! me no drink vine: De teefe leave me no vine penny.

Squi.

Your cloak then shall be your surety: it shall be forth comming when you please to release it.

Kick.
I say [...]ill have a me cloak.
Squi.

Not till you have payd the reckoning. I am not to take notice of all mens behaviour; if you admit of company and they abuse you, you must suffer for it. I meane not sir to be over­reach't with any of your French cheats.

Kick.
Is English cheat to send me no vench—but my cloak.
Squi.
Not without the reckoning.
Kick.
Me must den valke in quirpo.
Squi.

A fashion of your own, and apt to be followed upon the like occasion.

Kick.
Me sall fetch de Magistrate.
Exit.
Squi.

Even whom you please. My correspondence with these Blades and wenches helpes me and themselves to many such pur­chases; yet still my house is honest. Though many will say,

No matter how so they have comming in,
And sin thrives best that is maintain'd by sin.
Exit.

The fourth Act.

The first Scene.

Maligo and Rhenish meeting Horten.
Mal.
It should be he by the description was made of him.
Rhe.
Let us salute him then. If your name be Horten sir?
Hor.
I own no other.
Mal.

We are commended to you by some friends of yours, that request for us your leave to see rarities and antiquitīes you have, and for which you are so much spoken of abroad in the world.

Hort.
The world I do beleeve speakes grosly of me;
[Page] And c [...]lls my curiosity in reposing
Such things, a prodigall vainesse being one
That lives by my endeavors: have no state
But what my labor purchaseth.
Mal.
May we have leave to walke to your house?
Hor.
And command
The sight of all. I must confesse my care
Of knowing and possessing rarities
Makes me so skilfull, I dare undertake
To pick a sallet out of Dioscorides,
Shall feast the Doctors colledge, with rare practises
Stranger then Aesons restitution
To youth by Magick. From my garden sir
I can produce those simples, shall out-worke
All the compounds of drugs, and shew like miracles
Compar'd with them. What needs the weapon salve,
Condemn'd by some for witchraft? when each dunghill
Affords the Persicaria, that on wounds
Works the like Magick. Panax Coloni
Is known to every rustick; and Hipericon.
And yet we must from M [...]mphis and Iudea
Fetch Balsame, though sophisticate; there is not
An ounce in Europe, will endure the triall
Of milke or water. Yet my Ladyes gentlewoman
Bit by her Monkey, sweares by her lost maydenhead
The world hath not a Balsame like to that
Her closet yeelds; when 'tis perhaps but oyle
A little aromatiz'd for lamps.
Rhe.
You are learned likewise in antiquities.
Hor.
A little sir.
I should affect them more, were not tradition
One of the best assurances to show
They are the things we thinke them. What more proofes
(Unlesse perhaps a little circumstance)
Have we for this or that to be a peece
Of delphos ruines? or the marble statues
Made Athens glorious, when she was suppos'd
To have more images of men then men?
[Page] A weatherbeaten stone with an inscription
That is not legible but through an optick,
Tells us i [...]s age; that in some Sibills cane
Three thousand yeares ago it was an altar.
'Tis satisfaction to our curiosity;
But ought not to necessitate beliefe.
Mal.
Antiquities fir are grown of late good merchandize.
Hor.
Th' affection of some Princes hath begot
An imitation, and 'tis nobly done.
For by such things mans knowledge is inform'd
In principles of art, and many times
They light upon instruction by them, that
Direct invention to recover what
Neglect or ignorance hath lost.
Rhe.
Pray' sir what are the rarities and antiquities you have?
Hor.
Nor Pliny fir, nor Gesner ever made
Discription of a creature, but I have
Some particle thereof: and for antiquity
I do not store up any under Grecian.
Your Roman antiques are but modern toyes
Compar'd to them. Besides, they are so counterfet
With mouldings, 'tis scarce possible to find
Any but copies.
Mal.
Yet you are confident of yours that are of more doubt.
Hor.
Others from their easinesse
May credit what they please. My triall's such
Of any thing I own, all the impostors
That ever made antiquity ridiculous
Cannot deceive me. If I light upon
Ought that's above my skill, I have recourse
To those whose judgements at the second view
(If not the first) will tell me what Philosophers
That eylesse, noselesse, mouthlesse statue is,
And who the workman was, though since his death
Thousands of yeeres have been revolv'd—

The second Scene.

To them Justice Ferret, Mrs. Ferret and Bride.
Fer.
A good evening to you neighbour Horten.
Hor.
And to your worship.
M. Fe.
My husband will still be before me, to prevent the a­men of a shrew.
Fer. and Hort. whisper.
Mal.
You are happily met Mistresse Bride.
Rhe.

But 'tis my suddain wonder what accident should guide her this way.

M. Fe.

These gentlemen are witnesses to the old mans deeds, as well as my worshipfull husband

Bri.
The fortune of this day hath led me through
Events both strange and dangerous. I hope
As you are Gentlemen that you will make
A faire construction of me, though the vulgar
Borrow discourse and pastime from my act.
Mal.
You are a brave woman. Yet had I opportunity—
Rhe.
She is sure a light heeld wench, and if—
Hor.
With all my heart and welcome.
M. Fe.

Are you making motions now, before I can recover breath to begin my exordium as my sonne at the University taught me to say. Neighbour Horten 'tis thus. My selfe and my husband have this day been eyewitnessesses of strange accidents; chance upon chance, and fortune upon fortune: one disaster hath been the cause and cure of another. Now we desire the fa­vour that we may see your trinkets, knaks and knaveries (par­don me neighbour I meane no hurt) to delight this melancho­lick gentlewoman that hath found and lost, and lost and found a husband yet no husband—

Hort
You shall command me: but shee chiefely.
M. Fe.
And shall we see all?
Hort.
All I assure you.
M. Fe.

The great Sea horse what you call that cures women of the crampe.

Mal.
[Page]
What a wanton tempting eye she hath?
Rhe.
I will attempt her.
Hor.

A handsome lasse. I must have her home and give her a philter.

The third Scene.

To them Kickshaw.
Kick.
Vich be de Justice?
M. Fe.
What justice sir?
Kick.
Justice vat you call run up and downe de cony hole.
M. Fe.
My husbands name is Ferret: what's your businesse sir?
Kick.

De he teefe and de shee teefe rob me at vat you call de little nutcrack house? and he take a me cloake an me have no vare for my money.

Fer.

I know the house he meanes; a place much suspected. But a few houres since there happened a dangerous up roare a­bout this gentlewoman; and the delinquents came to complain first. But had they not conveigh'd themselves away, they should have been punished.

M. Fe.

With what tro? a reproofe or a jeer out of your ta­ble book notes, enlarg'd with a peece of a charge; then with a half bribe and single fees they are released to boast how cheap they have scaped. Come come you shall back to this house, and be se­vere, and wise and say little, let mine be the speaking part, yours the doing: I'le make them come off and on roundly. Do you thinke I can keep house with bare warrants and mittimusses?

Fer.
Will you with us neighbour?
Hor.
I desire to be excused.
M. Fer.
By all meanes neighbour; you are an officer.
Hor.
What shall become of this gentlewoman then?
M. Fe.

Please these gentlemen to walke a turne or two with her? The evening's pleasant if the mist rise not.

Hor.
I had rather I had her at home.
Both.
We are her servants.
Kick.
Is define vench.
M. Fe.
[Page]
We will along with you [...]ir to this righteous—
Fer.
Riotous you would say.
M. Fe.

No sir 'tis routous place; and my husband shall ferret the hee theeves and the shee theeves holes never feare it.

Hor.

To have seen this wench and not to enjoy her, is such a Tantalizing to me.

Exeunt.
Kick.

Me sall turn back agen from you to dis fine vench. Me give her my dublet cost two tree pound for lye vid her two tree time. Oh fine vench!

Exit.
Mal.
Tis most opportune.
Rhen.
Could I but remove him?
Mal.
Please you to walke, and let my hand support you.
Rhe.
Please her to be my charge.
They strive which should lend Bride
Mal.
I'le be your servant Lady.
Bri.
What meane ye gentlemen?
Mal.
To do you manly service.
Rhe.
If you could sir.
Mal.
How sir?
Bri.
I am betrai'd unto a new misfortune.
There is a malice in the stars that guide me,
Which yet seem wanton, as their influence
Were but a sportive mockery to show
The various fates that do depend upon it.
I have had strange deliverance; but th' event
Of this is full of horror. I pray' gentlemen
Do not make me the object for a quarrell.
Your gravity should be judicious,
And not minde trifles: such as youthfull bloud
Heated with wine can no way be excus'd for.
Mal.

He shall not touch you his belly is nothing but a tun full of red herring, and boyld water.

Rhe.
And thou art a [...]otten herring Jackalent Spanyard.
Mal.
A word in privat.
They go aside, and seem to threaten and challenge one another.
Rhen.
What you dare [...]ir.
Bri.
A challenge sure. Some happy chance direct
Ayd to prevent a mischiefe:
Kick-shaw returnes.
Kick.
Me be your servant madame.
Bri.
Would you would guide me to some house?
Kick.
[Page]
To de house of good fellowship, or de nax dish.
Here be de fine morall.
Viles Dutch and Spanish make a fray
De Frenchman beare de pri [...]e a way.
Exit. with Bride.
Mal.
You'l meet me then?
Rhe.
I will not fayle you.
Mal.

But wher's the gentlewoman? where hath the mist con­cleal'd you?

Rhe.
We have differ'd finely about a woman in a cloud.
Mal.
We must not so loose her.

The foureth Scene

To them Theophilus and Raven.
Rhe.
Saw you a gentlewoman sir?
Mal.
Her sweet hart! let us avoid him least we be discover'd.
Rhe.

I'le home and be drunk, and then perhaps grow friends with you.

Exeunt.
The.
The Merchants? were they not?
Rav.
Doubtlesse the same.
The.
What Gentlewoman should that be they askt for?
Rav.

Some Bonaroba they have been sporting with. Your outlandish merchants are notable barterers for such English ware Many of them keep their recreations at pension; and sometimes two copartners will share as even nightly.

The.

That's strange; if love will brooke no rivalls, lust should Being the more raging passion.

Rav.
'Tis common.
The.
How common?
Rav.
Wenching is like freindship hath all things common.
The.
The mist is great: have we not lost our way?
We might e're this have got to th' waters side
Though we had trod a labyrinth.
Raven draws and runns at Theophilus, and he tur­ning back wounds Rav.
Rav.
Over this stile and then
The.
Ha! what devill mov'd thee to attempt it.
Rav.
Pox on these French blades; no point!
[Page] I have payd a debt to all my vaine attempts
With mine owne ruine. Hell hath left me yet
One meanes t' expresse my malice. In my death
Dye to all knowledge of thy self; the world
Besides me ownes it not-
Fals and lyes as if he were dead.
The.
I cannot give
Utterance unto my thoughts; the narrow passage
Is choakt up with a multitude, that strive
Which should first issue forth. How fruitlesse envy
Brings on its own destruction! Innocence
Is proofe 'gainst all the battery of malice:
And he that's arm'd with't needs not feare t' encounter
The most severe tribunall. Though I am
Guiltlesse to heaven, yet I shal appeare
Foule to opinion wanting testimony;
And th' act makes me the lawes; I am no more
The subject of my conscience, which by judgement
Must be determin'd. Can I not prevent it?
Flight may procure my safety. 'Twill bring on
A greater danger, and cause supposition
That I am guilty by the circumstance
Of mine owne feares.
Within.
Help, help, a rape. Villaine keep back.
The.
Horrors on both sides round me.
Hath my crosse fortune found new instruments
To draw more mischiefes on me! By the voyce
(A womans weakly utter'd, as if fainting
Under some violence) 'tis neer this hedge.
I'le ayd her, though my ruine lay in ambush
With twenty murderers.

The fifth Scene.

To them Bride persued by Kick-shaw.
Bri.
Out Villaine:
Would I could spet a leprosie upon thee.
[Page] Help help.
Kick-shaw fals on his knees, and Bride holds back Theophilus
The.
My deerest!
Kick.
Oh pardone moy Monsieur.
The.
Villaine thy end's upon thee.
Bri.
I being safe
Prethee forbeare him.
Kick.
Is no fayr play for give me de prick Monsieur.
The.
How cam'st thou hither sweet?
Bri.
Soone as my feares
Have finisht their effects of trembling,
And that my breath's recover'd, shalt know all.
The.
Monsieur stir not; I have imployment for you
May win your pardon.
Kick.

Vid all mine art; but myne art vill be in mine eele anon; is faln already into me breeshes.

Bri.
What object's this? Alasse your Cosin Raven
Wounded or dead? what hand hath done it?
The.
This;
Justice made this her instrument. He was
A villaine to me, and betrayd my life
To all those dangers which I overcame
By th' causes strength. And lastly his intents
To murder me, have brought upon himself
This punishment as due.
Bri.
Why dost not fly then?
I'le beare thee company in all adversityes.
Thy person being safe time may effect
A pardon by some composition.
If thou be tane, thou meet'st thy certain end
Mingled with shame; and mine hath the same date:
I'le not out live thee.
The.
Did you bid me fly
To shun the end's before me? sure ther's difference
Twixt meritorious acts, and acts of shame.
I was but justice executioner.
His crime deserv'd death, and he had fair triall
By evidence: see here this pointlesse weapon;
If providence had not ordain'd it so.
[Page] As he so I had faln; but innocent.
Should I then fly? and by my feares beget
A worse suspition? No: I'le meet th' event.
And though I now were circled with the terrors
Of racks and tortures; gibets; executioners;
And all the palsying apprehensions
That ever made a malefactor tremble,
Arm'd as I am, I would encounter all
With a fixt confidence. Just causes never
Did yet miscarry; or if any have
'Twas to the greater glory of the cause.
And Monsieur 'tis your imposition
To watch this corps, and give to passengers
What answers you have wit or language for.
Bri.
Wilt thou not fly then? prethee do not rashly
Play away safety.
The.
If I fly, and so
Provide for't, will you with me?
Bri.
Even to death,
In that 'shalt find me resolute. I'le vy
Against thy courage with my constancy.
The.
Let's go then
Exeunt.
Kick.

Me be glad you be gon, for me will no stay long vid de dead man. If de live jentelvmanly so—but me sall see vat you have in your pocket.

Kick-shaw searching Ravens pocket he stirrs.
Rav.
Oh? a surgeon.
Kick.

De man be no dead: but me sall make you dead rader den go vidout your money.

Kick. offers to take the sword from Raven and he riseth.
Rav.
What wilt thou villaine?
'Tis time then to leave off counterfeting
Kick.

Dis be de jentelman hire me to vark at de vedding; but he no know me, and day be sure de jentelman and de jenteluman da [...] run avay togeder.

Rav.
I'm wounded, but I hope not mortally;
I have no feeling of those accidents
Are deaths forerunners. Would I had a surgeon.
If I survive, I will convert this mischiefe
Into a benefit; and by his flight
[Page] Possesse my self as well of what I cove [...],
As by his death. Sir you can witnesse for me
How and by whom I did recieve this wound.
Although you know him not, make a description.
Kick.
Pardon me Monsieur; me no see him do it.
Rav.
You must dispense with scruple
If you will serve my purposes a little,
I can and will be thankfull; otherwise
What e're you are I can betray your life
For your intent of rape.
Kick.

Me be your servant Monsieur. Me do any ting; swear any ting; go to de divell along vid you rader den be hang.

Rav.
Go with me to a surgeon.

The sixth Scene.

To them Goodlove with three or foure servants.
Good.
We need make greater haste; 'tis almost night;
The mist is risen much.
Rav.
My Uncles voyce. Help a surgeon: assist me now.
Good.
Looke about knaves: I have heard that voyce.
1 Ser.
Here sir a man wounded.
2 Ser.
'Tis Master Raven.
Good.
My cofin Raven? what misfortune brought
This ill upon him? hold that gentleman.
Kick.

Me no do it Monsieur: he be de yong jentelman in black, an de jenteluman.

Good.
What gentleman in black? Theophilus?
Rav.
My cosin [...]ir? alasse; ther's so much goodnesse
In him, I must not think he could be tempted
To weare such guilt about him. Good sir have me
Unto a surgeon; and that gentleman
Shall give you satisfaction, ere you give
Him a release.
Kick.
Now mesall be discover, and hang for teefe.
1 Ser.

Wee' I carry him to one Hortens house, and fetch a sur­geon thither: 'tis close by.

Good.
[Page]

One call my friend justice Ferret; and post you over to Mistris Brides father: his presence at the examination of these circumstances will be needfull. 'Till truth satisfies my desires I am in torment.

Rav.
I have a new designe.
Good.
And till I see
Theophilus.
Rav.
Which I hope ne're will be.
Exeunt.

The fifth Act.

The first Scene.

Goodlove, Ferret, M rs. Ferret, and Horten.
Good.
Sir we are troublesome: the accident
Hath made a subject for your charity
As well as for your art; and neither shall
Be unrewarded. But may I presume
Hee'l need no other surgeon?
Hor.
Doubt it not sir.
The wound's but slight; were it more dangerous,
The simples that I have apply'd would cure it
According to the first intention
As surgeons call it.
M. Fer.

Truly sir my neighbour is very skilfull; he cured my little shock of the mange so perfectly, that it hath fam'd him through the neighbourhood for an excellent dog-leech.

Hor.
I ow much to your commendation M rs Ferret.
M. Fe.
Truly neigbour 'tis not so much worth.
Good.
I dare be sworne it is not.
I dare not with much confidence rely
Upon this mans endeavours. Would I had
A surgeon here, whose judgement and experience
Might give me further satisfaction.
Is the French gentleman dispos'd of safely?
Hor.
[Page]
I have confin'd him to a chamber sir,
A too delightfull prison. He may feast
His eyes with rarities.
Good.
I think you are
Owner of more then all the towne besides.
Hor.
'Tis my affected riches.
Good.
I have some
You shall command sir.
Hor.
I'le have gratitude,
And something to exchange. This accident
May bring me in a purchase:
M. Fe.

Pray' neighbour let's see the late giants boot, and the dwarfes shoe.

Good.
Prettie extremes no doubt.
M. Fe.

Extremes sir! me thinks their differences shoul'd make a very good meane. Suppose the one was a great drinker or wencher; the other must needs be a little one. What the one wasted in boots the other sav's in shoes. But I'le in to the woun­ded gentleman, and help to talke away his paine.

Hor.

By no meanes: sleepe would give him more ease, and prevent a distraction; which he seemes to occasion some feare of by his often digressions and interruptions of discourse.

Good.
Indeed sir I am troubled when I weigh
The accident and circumstances of it.
Nor can we urge him to give satisfaction
With any positive truth, but all his answers
Are carelesse and imperfect; many times
The second contradicts the first: and then
Hee'l name Theophilus, as if he were
The mischiefes worker. But of all kind friends
Your strange relations have begot most wonder.
The roarers, and Theophilus brave act;
My cosins not revealing my intents;
The maide left with the Merchants, and the Monsieurs
Stealing away, then found with my hurt kinsman,
What to conclude from these—

The second Scene.

To them a Servant hastely.
Hor.
The news! what meanes your haste?
Ser.
A lasse sir you are rob'd.
Hor.
How's that?
Ser.

The French gallant sir which you lockt in the chamber, is run away with your Remoras and Torpedos skins; and we know not what besides.

Hor.
Persue him. I'd not loose those rarities
For halfe my state. Alasse sir they are valuable
'Bove any thing I own besides.
M. Fe.

Hath Monsieur given you the slip as he gave us? He may chance be catcht in a halter for it.

Good.
Be patient sir, and with your best endeavor
Restore my cosin to his former safety,
I'le recompence your losse with things more valuable.
I have large trees of corall, and Zibet [...]s
Both of strange form and colour; I expect
Some living Ermines.
Hor.
Would I had them, they
Should pacifie me quickly,
Good.
Sure that french man
Is guilty of the fact: why should he fly else?
If by your servants industry that Monsieur
May be brought back againe, 'twill be of consequence.
Something perhaps may be concluded from
A strict examination of him.
Hor.
I'le employ all the servants I have about it.
M. Fe.

They shall have my husbands authority with them; wee'l make you a warran [...].

Exeunt. Good. rem [...].
Good.
How various are th' events that may depend
Upon one action, yet the end propos'd
Not follow the intention! Accidents
Will interpose themselves; like those rash men
[Page] That thrust into a throng occasioned
By some tumultuous difference, where perhaps
Their busie curiosity begets
New quarrells with new issues. I go on
From one consideration to another,
Yet can determin nothing.

The third Scene.

To him Father, Mother and Servant. Your arrivall Will be of use fir.
Fat.
Else my paines were fruitlesse.
Chance brought us hither, for what ends I know not.
But understanding you were here, I come
To aske a da [...]hter from you.
Good.
I from you
Must have a wounded reputation cur'd,
It bleeds worse then my kinsman, whom your sonne
And daughter are by circumstance suspected
To have attempted.
Fat.
My sonne sayd you sir?
I heare that sonne of mine must be your heire;
And I have heard what plots and circumventions
You us'd to catch me: so you have sir f [...]ely.
My states mine owne still, though my daughter's lost.
Good.
And pray' sir keep it; doubt not but 'twill find
Some gratefull heire, that will preserve the memory
Of such a benefit, with witty libells
Upon your glorious life.
Fat.
Your scorn is well sir;
And well becomes that supercilious gravity,
Hath aw'd the citty long, and frighted Rats
Into the Counter.
Good.
You are very free sir.
Yet these are not the Cittyes liberties.
[Page] Stand not too much upon your priviledge.
If you can give faire satisfaction
For what concernes you, doe; and let not passion
Kindle a new flame. I am calme; have quencht
My spleene that late was fired.
Fat.
I acknowledge
[...] [...]eare your kinsman's wounded, and there is
A supposition by my daughters sweet heart.
But how farre this concernes me, be your selfe
The judge. Sir I have suffer'd in my fame already
Too much, to have more added by suspition
Of being accessary to an act
Of such vile nature; and your self may sooner
Prove guilty, if the circumstance be weigh'd
You have made him your heire.
Good.
My intention
Had done it; neither did it want the forme
Of law for confirmation: but 'twas when
I was too partiall in affection: now
I am resolv'd to satisfie that error
With severe justice.
Fat.
You'l revoke your act!
Good.
Hands stain'd with bloud shall never have the power
To make a distribution of that wealth
Heaven hath blest my faire endeavours with.
Should he be prov'd a murderer (for though
My cosin dye not, his intent was such)
Revenge would waite on all his actions;
And even his charity when he gave almes
Would to his conscience so present the fact
In bloudy characters, that his best deeds
Would loose their merit.
Fat.
I am hard put to it.
But sir suppose your kinsman did attempt
Some practice upon him; ther's circumstance
To make it probable. Suppose your cosin
Repining at it that you should preferre
Adoption before naturall succession,
[Page] Assaulted him first to remove him, who
Defending so himselfe made the act lawfull.
Good.
From your suppose I raise a supposition,
That he to cleere himselfe of after troubles
Which might arise by any kinsmans claime,
Attempted this preven ion by some others
If not himselfe: which yet we cannot urge
My kinsman to discover.
Fat.
There are plots
In these proceedings. Might I sir be witnesse
To an examination of your kinsman?
The knowledge of the truth is of some consequence
And doth concerne us.
Good.
If he may endure
Discourse without his danger.

The fourth Scene

To them Servant, Plaster, and then Ferret, M rs. Ferret, and Horten.
Serv.

Her's M r. Plaster, the learned Surgeon, that speakes nothing but Latine, because either he would not be understood, or not contradicted.

Good.
He is welcome.
Hor.

There is no need sir of his trouble: the gentleman is past danger.

Plast.
Are you a surgeon sir?
M. Fe.

A simple one sir; one I meane that useth no com­pounds.

Plas.

If you are rationall as well as empericall, and that you practice secundum artem 'tis well.

Hor.

I dare secure his safety.

You may erre sir. He hath a wound; and where there is con­tinuitatis divortium, you must consider whether it came per contusionem, punctionem, or how; and whether a nerve, tendon, li­gament or artery be in danger. The parts likewise whether it be in principalibus vel minus principalibus. Then the adjuncts; whether there be fractura or dislocatio; for these make it vulnus compositum. [Page] Then the accidents; whether there be inflamma [...] [...] o [...] ▪

Good.
Pray sir what is that?
Plas.

It is sir copiosa [...] inter cutem diffusio; which ma­ny times causeth a dangerous apostema

Good.
You have satisfied very well sir.
Plas

Perhaps you have applyed some Montebankes medicine which you believe will cure secundum primam intentionem.

Good.
Pray' sir how is that?
Plas.

That is sine suppuratione vel cicatrice. We that worke ac­cording to art begin with alteratione substantiae in p [...]s: for ex corruptione unius fit generatio alterius. And then—

Good.

You have said enough sir more then we understand.

Pray' sir give him leave to see my cosin and his wound: his judg­ment being a professor may confirme us.

The fifth Scene.

To them Raven.
Hor.
He is here sir.
Rav.

The Brides Father and a surgeon! what new devise is towards?

Fat. and Serv. whisper.
Hor.

I'le apply but one Emplastrum consolidans more: I think that's a terme of art.

Exit. s [...]r.
Plas.
I come not to be jeer'd.
Good.
To be rewarded; accept of this sir.
gives him mony.
Plas.

My thankfullnesse. This is more then my practice would have deserv'd; for to say truth though I can out face it with tal­king, though I am neither parson nor vicar yet my cures serve to mayntaine sextons.

I take my leave sir.

Exit.
Hor.
The wound was very slight sir.
M. F [...].

Indeed Mr. Raven you escapt a scouring in your bel­ly: if you had miscarried, the Monsieur for all the seperation be­twixt his doublet and breeches should have trust for't, but that h [...] is run away.

[...]
Esca [...]'t I'm glad of that: it shall be usefull.
Good.
[Page]
Being past danger cofin▪ we would gladly
Be satisfied who 'twas that did attempt
This mischiefe on you: you have hitherto
Seem'd as unwilling he should be discover'd.
If 'twere Theophilus, all diligence
Shall be employ'd to find him, that he may
Pay law her due: his flight makes it suspitious.
Rav.
Good sir forbeare that trouble.
If he be fled with his faire Mistresse, 'tis
A discreet policy to shun the danger,
Her parents anger might bring on him. 'Twas
The French man wounded me.
Good.
On what occasion?
Rav.
None sir that I know: I provok't him not;
Unlesse he meant to rob me.
Fa [...].
Will you sir
Justifie this on oath?
Fathers Servant returnes.
Rav.
Were there necessity:
'Tis otherwise sufficient I have said it.
Fat.
Bring in the Monsieur.
Hor.
How sir! is he taken!
Fat.
Yes sir; with many trinckets that were yours.
Hor.
I am restor'd to my first state.
Fat.
We met him:
And for some reason you shall know anon
Brought him back with us.
Rav.
I am still discover'd.

The sixth Scene.

To them Kick-shaw.
Fat.
'Tis needfull sir this man should be committed;
That being accus'd he may be soone produc't
Upon occasion.
Kick.

Me have no [...]or to kill de man: de tee [...]es have mine, True; me take de jenteluman from de dushman and de Spaniard: [Page] me offer too to kisse de jenteluman; an de yongjentelman in black dat hurt de man, almost kill [...]e but dat me beg pardon.

Rav.
I have lighted upon it.
Unto you all I do submit my selfe,
And what I shall discover. I confesse
I may seem not to merit a beliefe
That have already feign'd so many untruths:
But the officiousnesse of them consider'd
I hope you'l credit this. It was my cosin
Theophilus, that hurt me: But I know not
Whether 'twere chance or malice for this gentleman
Attempting rape upon your daughter sir,
I drew a pointlesse weapon I had got;
My cosins suddaine apprehention
Perhaps mad him suspect me: and not knowing
I meant a rescue of the gentlewoman
(Whose voice I heard, but could not through the [...]ist
Discern her person) made his rash hand wound me;
Which for his sake I joy is not prov'd mortall,
Nor will I hope.
F [...]t.
I doe beleeve all this
For certaine truth. But why should you accuse
Another then?
Rav.
I did presume this man
Unknowne to any here was fled, nor would
Returne to take a punishment: and being
A stranger was not capable of shame.
Now my concealing who the actor was
Neither his danger nor disgrace would follow.
God.
Nephew I do admire thy love to him
So ill deserves it, and I now consider
What an injustice my election was.
Henceforth thou art mine heire. I will employ
A numerous search to find him that he may
Be punisht for his [...]act.
Rav.
By no meanes sir:
Call him not back; my wound may yet have danger;
And if he should returne to pay his life
[Page] For mine that's so unworthy—
Fat.
But he shall
To make you give the law a satisfaction
For all your villanies. Come forth my sonne,
For so he is sir.

The last Scene.

To them Theophilus and Bride.
Theo.
Humbly thus I beg
Theo. kneeles
Your pardon sir
Good.
Pray' aske your father blessing:
Y'have got one now.
Fat.
He hath sir, and shall keep him
His faire desert won my conversion;
And chang'd me from intents of punishing
To an indulgent favourer. This hath been
A villaine to his life, and to his fortunes;
Whetted by envy to such practises
As merrit death when you shall heare the passages.
A man that's guilty; that from foule intents
Proceeded to an act would flye for safety:
Instead of which Theophilus repair'd
To me, that then was laboring with revenge,
First offers restitution of my daughter;
Then passing on from declaration
To declaration, made [...]o confident
By his sweet innocence, he satisfi'd
Mine anger, and gave peace unto my passions
Nor was I patient to defer their joyes
(Which likewise are myne own but got them married
This evening with a dispensation for it
Before we came to you. Where by the way
We met this Monsieur, and enforc't him back:
Whom straight his feares betrayd to a discovery
Of what he was; no gentleman, but Kick-shaw
[Page] In's wenching clothes.
Ser.
Monsieur Kick-shaw [...]e want plate Monsieur.
Kick.
Now me sall be hang agen.
Hor.
And I want Jewells Monsieur.
Kick.

Jewells! me have noting but two tree bable. Pray' vat be dis?

Puls the things out of his pockets.
Hor.

A bable call you it? This gentlemen is the horne of an Aethiopian [...]hinoceros.

Kick.
An dis!
Hor.

The Taleon of a Birde in terra austr [...]li incognita, which the inhabitants call their great god Ruc, that preyes upon Ele­phants, and will not be gorged under two or three in a morning This stone of a strange forme and colour was brought by the learned traveller of Odcombe from the great Mogull.

M. Fe.
How sir! One of the great mogul's stones,
Fat.
Good sir forbeare a little. Now he's mine
I'le own him and the rather if you will
Disclaime all interest in him. For your kinsman
Some wise and powerfull authority
Must force truth from him.
M. Fe.
My husbands authority sir is both wise and powerfull
Rav.
'Tis not in all my stock of cunning now
To hold out longer. Shame will be the end
Of all my undertakings.
Good.
Cosin your looks are strange, and seeme as if
They would betray your thoughts. If you have guilt,
Let it not presse your conscience with a weight
Will sinck it into horror.
Rav.
I have much sir.
Nor will there need another testimony
For confirmation of what I shall utter.
He that with griefe doth publish his own shame,
Speakes from truths records.
Good.
What may this preface meane?
Rav.
You had a sonne, whose birth depriv'd his mother
Of life; and what bestow'd a joy upon you
Rob'd you of one.
Good.
Why dost review a griefe
[Page] Time had wor [...] out? Indeed I had a sonne.
Rav.
And have him still: enjoy him in Theophilus.
The.
Was this the knowledge of my selfe he spake of,
That liv'd but in him selfe?
Good.
I feare his wound,
And a distraction.
Rav.
Heare me sir and then
You will have faith. The child you did dispose
To be nurst by my mother, I being then
An in [...]ant likewise. She knowing by law
That I was capable of your estate
Your heire being once remov'd, soone plots
To make the childe away; attemps, but fainting
In th' execution left it in the feilds;
A formall buriall strengthning the report
That it was dead. By providence directed
You found and bred it up, and this is he.
My dying mother did reveale it to me
With teares of penitence, and an injunction
I should discover it: which my avarice
And envy would not suffer me, but tempted
My soule to those black practises, which now
Cease with my shame and my repentance.
Good.
Joyes
Good. embraceth Theo. kneeling.
Have fill'd me to the danger of a surfet.
Welcome to life; I have a new begot thee.
How often have I wisht in these embraces
The thing I did embrace but knew it not.
Cosin I hope your sorrow is not feign'd
That it may merrit pardon, and preserve me
A loving Uncle.
The.
I forgive you Cosin,
You have at length in this discovery
Given large satisfaction.
Rav.
I'le re [...]ove
All cause of after jealousy.
Fat.
We by these
Good. and Fat▪ embrace.
Are reconciled for ever.
M. Fe.
[Page]
But her's a dilinquent must be punished.
Good.
He shall be pardon'd [...]o upon condition
He will no more play the impostor thus,
To weare the habit of a gentleman
Having such vile conditions; [...]o disgracing
His noble nation; making all suspected.
I'le likewise adde something unto your storehouse.
And though 'tis late le [...]s have a wedding feast:
To which pray' welcome every loving guest.

The Epilogue by the Bride.

I Am a Mayden yet, how can I then
Without some feare and blushes speake to men?
Ladyes and gentlewomen pray' stick to me
If the rude men should offer to undo me.
Would they be kinde, and say I have done well
I'd give them leave to clap me. I can tell
They'd take it for a favor if they might
Clap every Bride upon her wedding night.
FINIS.

This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal. The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission.