I Mary Sir, the onely rising vp in Armes, is in the armes of a woman: peace (I say still) is your onely Paradice, when euerie Adam may haue his Christmas Eue: and you take mee lying any more by the colde sides of a brazen-face field-peice vnlesse I haue such a Downe pillow vnder me, Ile giue you leaue to knocke vp both my golles in my Fathers hall, and hang hats vpon these ten-penny nailes.

And yet brother, when with the sharpest hookes of my wit I labour'd to pull you from the warres, you broke loose, like a horse that knew his owne strength, and vow'd, nothing but a man of warre should backe you.

And swore that honour was neuer dyed in graine, till it was dipt in the cullors of the field.

I am a new man Sister, and now cry a pox a that ho­nor, that must haue none but Barber-Surgions to waite vpon't, and a band of poore stragling rascals, that euery twinckling of an eye, forfeit their legs and armes into the Lords hands Wenches by Mars his sweatty Buffe Ierkin, (for now all my [...] must smell a the Soldado) I haue seene more mens head [...] vp [Page] and downe like foote-balles at a breake-fast, after the hungry Cannons had pickt them; than are Maiden-heads in Venice: and more legs of men seru'd in at a dinner, then euer I shall see legs of Capons in one platter whilst I liue.

I doe not thinke for all this, that my brother stood to it so lustilie as he makes his brags for.

Not so many as thou hast done with that villanous eye by a thousand.

Tis not a Souldiers glory to tell howe many liues hee has ended, but how many he has saued: in both which honours the noble Hipolito had most excellent possession. Belieue it my faire Mistris, tho many men in a battle haue done more, your brother in this equal'd him who did most: he went from you a worthy Gentleman, he brings with him that tytle that makes a Gentleman most worthy; the name of a Souldier, which how wel and how soone he hath earn'd, would in me seeme glorious to rehearse, in you to heare: but because his owne eare dwels so neere my voice, I will play the ill neighbour, and cease to speake well of him.

An argument that eyther you dare not, or loue not to flatter.

No more then I dare or loue to doe wrong; yet to make a Cronicle of my friends nobly-acted deeds, would stand as far from flattery in me, as cowardize did from him.

S'foote if all the wit in this company haue nothing to set it selfe about, but to run Deuision vpon me, why then Eene burne off mine eares indeed, but my little Mer-maides, Signi­or Camillo does this, that I now might describe the Niniuiticall motion of the whole battle, and so tell what hee has done: and come, shall I begin?

But I can tell you one thing, I shall make your hayre stand vp an end at some things.

Prethee good brother Soldier keepe the peace, our haire stand an end? pittie a my hart, the next end would be of our wits: we hang out a white flag most terrible Tamberlaine, and begge mercy; come, come, let vs neither haue your Niniuiticall moti­ons nor your swaggering battailes: why my Lord Camillo, you inuited mee hether to a banquet, not to the Ballad of a pitcht field.

And heere it stands bright Mistris, sweetly attending what doome your lips willay vpon it.

We shall neuer describe it well, for fumbling i'th mouth.

Yes, yes, I haue a tricke to make vs vnderstand one an­other and we fumble neuer so—

Meddle not with his trickes sweet heart; vnder pardon my Lord, tho I am your guest, Ile bestow my selfe, sit deere beauties: for the men, let them take vp places themselues; I prethee brother fighter sit, & talke of any subiect, but this lang­ling law at Armes.

Wil you be so lustie? no nor legs neither, we'll haue them tyed vp too, since you are among Ladies: gallants, handle those things onlie that are fit for Ladies.

Agree'd so that we go not out of the compasse of those things that are fit for Lords.

And of Beautie what tongue would not speake the best? since it is the Iewell that hangs vpon the brow of heauen, the best cullor that can be laide vpon the cheeke of earth: beauty makes men Gods immortall, by making mortall men to liue e­uer in loue. (for loue.

So haue I, but I could neuer see't: Ide ride forty miles [Page] to follow such a fellow to Church, and would make more of a sprig of Rosemary at his buriall, than of a gilded Bride-branch at mine owne wedding.

Not in the men nor in the death, but in the deed; troth I thinke he is not a sound man that wil dye for a woman, and yet I would neuer loue a man soundfie, that would not knocke at deathes doore for my loue.

Ide knocke as long as I thought good, but haue my braines knockt out when I entred, if I were he.

What Uenetian Gentleman was there; that hauing this in his Burgonet, did not (to proue his head worthy of the honor) doe more than defye death to the verie face? trust vs Ladies, our Signiory standes bound in greater summes of thankes to your beauties for victorie, than to our vallour: my deare Uioletta one kisse to this picture of your whitest hand, when I was euen faint, (with giuing and receiuing the doale of warre)

I haue heard much praise of that French gallant, good my Lord, bring him acquainted with our eyes.

Will your French prisoner drinke well? or else cut his throate.

The pox he can, s'light me thinks a French man shold haue a good courage to wine, for many of them be exceeding hot fiery whoresons, and resolute as Hector, and as valliant as Troilus; then come off and on brauely and lye by it, and sweate fort too, vpon a good and a millitary aduantage.

No, faire seruant, not the measure out, I haue on the so­daine a foolish desire to be out of the measure.

Nay I hope it is no breeding matter, tush, tush, by my maiden-head I will not, the musicke likes me not, and I haue a shooe wrings me to'th heart; besides I haue a womans reason, I will not daunce, because I will not daunce: prethee deare He­ro take my prisoner there into the measure; fye I cannot abide to see a man sad nor idle, Ile bee out once, as the Musicke is (in mine care)

In troth a very pretty French man, the carriage of his bodie likes me well; so does his footing so does his face, so does his eye aboue his face, so does himselfe, aboue all that can bee a­boue himselfe.

Shal Camillo then sing willow, willow, willow? not for the world: no, no, my French prisoner; I will vse thee Cupid knowes how, and teach thee to fall into the hands of a woman: if I doe not [Page] feede thee with faire lookes, nere let me liue: if thou getst out of my fingers til I haue thy verie heart, nere let me loue; nothing but thy life shall serue my turne, and how otherwise Ile plague thee, Monsieur you and Ile deale, onely this, because Ile be sure he shall not start, Ile locke him in a little low roome besides himselfe, where his wanton eye shall see neither Sunne nor Moone: So, the daunce is done, and my heart has done her worst, made me in loue: farewel my Lord, I haue much hast, you haue many thankes, I am angred a little, but am greatly pleas'd: if you wonder that I take this strange leaue; excuse it thus, that women are strange fooles, and will take any thing.

Trickes: trickes? kerry merry buffe; how now lad, in a traunce?

Pilcher, Cupid hath got me a stomacke, and I long for lac'd mutton.

For as your tame Monkey is your onely best, & most onely beast to your Spanish Lady: or, as your Tobacco is your onely smoker away of rewme, and all other rewmeticke disea­ses: or as your Irish lowse does bite most naturally foureteene weekes, after the change of your Saffron seamed shir [...] or, as the commodities which are sent out of the Low-countries (and put in vessels called mother Corneliu [...] dry-fats) are most common in Fraunce: so it pleaseth the destinies, that I should thirst to drinke out of a most sweet Italian vessell, being a Spaniard.

A Woman Pilcher, the moyst handed Madona Imperia, a most rare and diuine creature.

Boy, hast thou forrag'd the Country for a new lodg­ing? for I haue sworne to laye my bones in this Chittie of Ue­nice.

Any man that sees vs will sweare that we shall both lay our bones, and nothing but bones, and we stalke heere longer; they tell me Signior, I must goe to the Constable, and he is to see you lodg'd.

I will, and heere come a leash of Informers: saue you plumpe youths.

Why, and farewell; the roague's made of pye-crust he's so short.

Slid Dandiprat, this is the Spanish curtall that in the last battaile, fled twenty miles ere he lookt behinde him.

Doyt, he did the wiser: but sirra, this blocke shall bee a rare threshold for vs to whet our wits vpon; come, lets about our busines, and if heere we finde him at our returne, he shall find vs this month in knauery.

Heere dwels the Constable; call assistance, giue them my full charge, raize (if you see cause) now sir, what are you sir?

And what are you sir, that cry out vpon me? looke to his tooles. What are are you sir? speake, what are you? I charge you what are you?

Most cleare Mirrour of Magistrates, I am a seruitor to God Mars.

For your seruing of God I am not to meddle, why doe you raize me?

I desire to haue a wide roome in your fauour: sweete bloud, cast away your name vpon me; for I neither know you by your face, nor by your voice

It may be so Sir; I haue two voices in any company: one, as I am Master Constable: another, as I am Blurt: and the third, as I am Blurt Master Constable.

I vnderstand, you are a mightie piller or poast in the Chittie.

I am a poore poast, but not to stand at euerie mans doore, without my bench of Bill-men: I am (for a better) the Dukes owne Image and charge you in his name to obay me.

I am to stand Sir in any baudie house, or sincke of wick­ednes: I am the Dukes owne grace, and in any fray or resurrec­tion, am to besturre my stumps as well as he; I charge you know

Who so euer saies you haue a blacke eye, is a Camooche. most great Blurt; I doe vnpent-house the roofe of my carkas & touch the knee of thy Office in Spanish complement, I desire to soiourne in your Chitty.

Sir, sir, for fault of a better, I am to charge you, not to keepe a Soldiering in our Cittie without a Precept: besides, by my office I am to search & examine you: haue you the Dukes hand to passe? (fingers.

Except it be for the general good of the Cōmonwealth, the Generall cannot leade you vp and downe our Cittie.

I haue the Generals hand to passe through the world at my pleasure.

At your pleasure? thats rare; then rowlie, powlie, our wiues shall lye at your commaund: your Generall has no such authoritie in my Presincte, and therefore I charge you passe no further.

I tell thee, I will passe through the world, thou little morsell of Iustice, and eate twenty such as thou art.

Sir, sir, you shall finde Uenice out of the world: Ile tickle you for that.

I will passe through the world, as Alexander Magnus did, to Conquer.

As Alexander of Saint Magnus did? that's another mat­ter, you might haue informed this at the first, & you neuer need­ed to haue come to your answere: let me see your Passe, if it bee not the Dukes hand, Ile tickle you for all this: quicklie I pray▪ this staffe is to walke in other places.

This is my Clarke sir, he has been Clarke to a good ma­ny bondes and Billes of mine, I keepe him onelie to read, for I cannot, my Office will not let me.

To see that hee read right: how now Slubber, ist the Dukes hand? Ile tickle him else.

Looke well, the Duke has a wart on the backe of his hand.

Heere's none on my word Master Constable, but a little blot.

Blot? lets see lets see; ho that stands for the wart, doe you see the tricke of that? Stay stay, is there not a little pricke in the hand for the Dukes hand had a pricke in't when I was with him, with opening Oysters.

So has the Duke a goodly huge hand, I haue shooke him by it, (God forgiue me) ten thousand times: hee must passe like Alexander of Saint Magnus; Well Sir, (tis your duety to stand bare) the Duke has sent his fist to me, and I were a Iew if I should shrinke for it; I obay, you must passe, but pray take heede with what dice you passe, I meane what company, for Sathan is most busie, where he findes one like himselfe▪ your name Sir?

Lazarillo de Tormes in Castile, cozen Germaine to the Adolantado of Spaine.

Are you so Sir? Gods blessing on your heart: your name againe Sir, if it be not too tedious for you?

Lazarillo de Tormes in Castile, Cozen-germaine to the Spanish Adolantado.

Has a good name, Slubber set it downe: write, Lazarus in torment at the Castle, and a cozning Germaine, at the signe of the Palantido diddle in Spaine: So Sir you are ingrost, you must giue my Officer a groate it's nothing to me Signior.

Well Sir, well he shall giue you an Item for't, make a bill and hee'll teare it he saies.

By your sweet fauour most deare Blurt, you charge too fast, I am a hanger on vpon Mars, and haue a few Crownes.

And dezier you to point out a faire lodging for mee and my Traine.

Tis my Office Signior to take men vp a nightes, but if you wil, my Maides shall take you vp a mornings, since you pro­fesse fighting; I will commit you Signior to mine owne house, but will you pitch and pay, or will your Worship run—

Beare witnes Slubber, that his answer is Signior no: So now if he runnes vpon the score, I haue him straite vpon Signior no; this is my house Signior, enter.

I, for a Soldier; but ere he'll goe, I thinke indeede, he & I together shall presse the Constable.

No matter, squeze him, and leaue no more liquor in him, than in a dry'd Neates tongue: Sirra thin-gut, what's thy name?

My name? you chops, why I am of the bloud of the Pilchers.

Nay s'foote, if one should kill thee, hee could not bee hang'd for't, for hee would shed no bloud, ther's none in thee: Pilcher? th'art a most pittifull dryed one.

I wonder thy master does not slice thee, and swallow thee for an Anchoues.

He wants wine Boy to swallow me down, for he wants money to swallow downe wine: but farewell, I must dog my master.

As long as thou dog'st a Spaniard, thou'lt nere be fatter; but stay, our hast is as great as thine, yet to endeere our selues in­to thy leane acquaintance cry Riuo Hogh, laugh and be fat, and for ioy that we are met wee'll meete and be merry, sing:

Why sir, did my Mistris pricke you with the Spanish needle of her loue, before I summond you (from her) to this parly?

Of mine honestie I doubt extreamely, for I cannot see the little Gods tokens vpon you: there is as much diffe­rence betweene you and a Louer, as betweene a Cuckolde and a Vnicorne.

For you doe not weare a paire of ruffled, frowning, vn­gartred Stockinges, like a Gallant that hides his small timbred legs, with a quaile-pipe boote: your hose stands vpon too ma­ny points, and are not troubled with that falling sicknes, which followes pale, meager, miserable, melancholy Louers: your hands are not groping continuallie.

In your greasie pocket sir, like one that wants a Cloake for the raine, and yet is still weather-beaten: your hat nor head are not of the true hey-ho-blocke, for it should be broad brim'd, lymber, like the skinne of a white pudding when the meate is out: the Facing fattye: the Felt dustye, [Page] and not entred into any band, but your hat is of the nature of a loose, light, heauie-swelling wench, too straite laced: I tell you Monsieur, a Louer should be all loose from the sole of the foote rizing vpward; and from the Bases, or confines of the Slop, fal­ling downewards: if you were in my Mistresses Chamber, you should finde other-gates priuy signes of loue hanging out there.

Oh sir, a Page must haue a Cats eye, a Spaniels legge, a whoores tongue (a little tasting of the Cog) a Catch-poles hand, what he gripes is his owne; and a little little baudy.

Nay sweet roague, wh [...] wouldst thou make his face a vizard, to haue two loope-holes onely? when he comes to a good face, may he not doe with his eyes what he will: s'foote if I were as he, Ide pull them out, and if I wist they would anger thee.

Your foote with a pox? I hope y'are no Pope Sir, his lips shall kisse my Sisters soft lippe: and thine, the tough lips of this: nay Sir, I doe but shewe you that I haue a toole; doe you heate Saint Dennis, but that we both stand vpon the nar­row bridge of Honour, I should cut your throate now, for pure loue you beare to my Sister, but that I know you would set out a throate.

Saint Marke set his markes vpon me then: stab? Ile haue my shinnes broken, ere Ile scratch so much as the skin off, a the law of Armes: shall I make a French-man cry oh, before the fall of the Leafe? not I by the Crosse of this, Dandy­prat.

But sirra Camillo, wilt thou play the wise and venerable bearded Master Constable, and commit him indeede, because he would be medling in thy Precincte and will not put off the cap of his Loue to the browne-bill of thy desires? Well, thou hast giuen the Law of Armes a broken pate alreadie, therefore if thou wilt needes turne Broker, and be a cut-throate too, doe: for my part, Ile goe get a sweet ball, and wash my handes of it.

Ist you Sir Pandarus, the broking Knight of Troy, are your two legs the paire of tressels, for the French-man to getvp vpon my Sister?

By the nine Worthies, worthy Gallants not I; I a Gen­tleman for Conueiance? I Sir Pandarus? would Troy then were in my breeches, and I burnt worse then poore Troy: sweet Sig­nior you know, I know, and all Uenice knowes, that my Mistris scornes double dealing with her heeles.

With her heeles? O heer's a sure pocket Dag, and my Sister shootes him off snipsnap at her pleasure. Sirra Mephosto­philes, [Page] did not you bring letters from my Sister to the French-man?

No point per mafoy, you see I haue many tongues speake for me.

You holde a my side, and therefore I must needs stick to you, tis true: I going, hee followed; and following, fingred me, iust as your worship does now: but I strugled and stragled, and wragled and wragled, and at last cryed Vale valete, as I doe now, with this fragment of a rime:

Not for this wager of my Sisters loue, run; away Dandi­part, catch True-penny, & hold him, thy selfe shal passe more cur­rant.

For I know that the onelie way to win a wench, is not to woe her: the onely way to haue her fast, is to haue her loose: the onely way to tryumph ouer her, is to make her fall; and the way to make her fall,—

Well Sir, you know the Gentlewoman that dwels in the midst of Saint Markes streete.

Oh Sir, the freckle checke Madona, I know her Signior, as well—

No Sir I de be loath to haue such inward acquaintance with her as you haue.

Well sir slip goe presently to her, and from me deliuer to her owne white hands, Fontinels picture.

Indeed Sir she loues to haue her chamber hung with the pictures of men.

She does, le keepe my sisters eyes and his painted face a sunder; tell her besides, the Maske holdes and this the night, & nine the houre; say we are all for her away.

F [...]e, fie, fie, fie, by the light oath of my Fanne, the wea­ther is exceeding tedious and faint: Triuia, Simperina, stir, stir, stir, one of you open the Case-ments, t'other take a ventoy and gentlie coole my face: fye, I ha such an exceeding hye culler, I so sweat; Simperina, dost heare? prethee be more compendious: why Simperina!

Presse downe my ruffe before; away, fie, howe thou blowst vpon me, th [...] breath (gods me) thy breath, fie, fie, fie, fie, it takes off all the painting and culler from my cheeke: In good faith I care not if I goe and be sicke presentlie; hey ho, my head so akes with carrying this Bodkin: in troth Ile try if I can bee sicke.

You know a companie of Gallantes will be heere at night be not out of temper sweet mistris.

In good troth if I bee not sicke I must be melancholye then: this same gowne neuer comes on but I am so melancholie, & so hart-burnt: tis a strange garment, I warrant Simperina the [Page] foolish Taylor that made it, was troubled with the stitch, when he compos'd it.

That's very likelie Madame, but it makes you haue oh a most in-conie bodie.

No, no no, no by Saint Marke the waste is not long en­ough, (for I loue a long & tedious waste, besides, I haue a most vngodlie middle in it; and fie, fie, fie, fie, it makes mee bend i'th backe: oh let me haue some Musicke.

That's not the fault in your gowne Madame, but of your baudie.

Fa la la fa la la, indeede the bending of the backe is the fault of the bodie la, la, la, la; fa la la, fa la la, la la lah.

No, no, no no, no: tis slight and common all that I do, prethee Simperina doe not Ingleme; doe not flatter me Triuia, I ha neuer a cast gowne till the next weeke, fa la la, la la la, fa la la, fa la la &c. This stirring too and fro has done me much good; a song I prethee, I loue these French mo [...]uings; oh they are so cleane if you treade them true, you shal hit them to a haire; sing, sing, sing some odde and fantasticall thing, for I cannot abide these dull and lumpish tunes, the Musition stands longer a prick­ing them then I would doe to heare them: no, no no giuemee your light ones that goe nimbly and quicke, and are full of chan­ges and carrie sweet deuision; ho prethee sing, stay, stay, stay, heer's Hipolitoes Sonnet, first read it and then sing it.

Why then thou shalt not enter, but insteed of me knock thy heeles.

Heer's Signtor Hipolitoes man (that shal be) come to hang you.

Triuia, strip that villaine; Simperina pinch him, slit his wide nose; fie, fie, fie, Ile haue you gelded for this lustines.

And she threatens to geld me vnlesse I bee lustie; what shall poore Frisco doe?

Not I, hang mee if you will, and set vp my quarters too.

to hang you with Iewels, sweet and gentle; that's Fris­coes meaning, and that's my comming.

That's my Office indeede, I haue bin your doore-keep­er so long, that al the hindges, the spring-lockes and the ring, are worne to peeces; how if any body knocke at the doore?

Let them enter, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, his great tongue does so runne through my little eares; tis more harsh then a yonger­bothers courting of a Gentlewoman, when he has no crownes, Boy?

My seruice? alas alas, thou canst doe me small seruice, did thy Master send this painted Iyntle man to me?

Well, I will hang his picture vp by the walles, till I see his face, and when I see his face, Ile take his picture downe: hold it Triuia.

If their vizards holde, heere you shal see all their blind cheekes; this is the night, nine the houre, and I the lacke that giues warning.

Flaxen haire, & short too, oh that's the French Cu! but fye, fye, fye, this Flaxen hayr'd men are such pu-lers, and such pidlers, and such Chicken-heartes (and yet great quarrellers) that when they Court a Ladye, they are for the better part bound to the peace: no, no, no, no, your blacke hayred man (so hee bee fayre) is your onely sweet man, & in any seruice, the most actiue: a banquet Triuia; [Page] quicke, quicke, quicke.

In a twinckling; s'lid my Mistris cries like the rod-wo­man: quicke quick, quick, buy any Rosemary and Bayes?

A little face, but a louely face; fye, fye, fye, no matter what face he make, so the other parts be Legittimate, and goe vpright: stir, stir Simperina, be doing, be doing, quickely; mooue, mooue, mooue.

Hey ho, as I liue I must loue thee, and sucke kisses from thy lips; alacke that women should fall thus deeplie in loue, with dumbethings, that haue no feeling? but they are womens crosses, and the only way to take them is to take them patiently; hey ho! set Musicke Frisco.

Musicke, if thou hast not a hard heart, speake to my Mistris.

Say he scorne to marry mee, yet hee shall stand mee in some steede, by being my Ganimede: if he be the most decayed Gallant in all Uenice, I will my selfe vndoe my selfe, and my whole state to set him vp againe: though speaking truth would saue my life, I will lye to doe him pleasure: yet to tell lyes may hurt the soule: fye no no, no, soules are things to be trodden vn­der our feete, when we daunce after loues Pipe; therefore heere hang this counterfeit at my beds feete.

If he bee ounterfeit, nayle him vp vpon one of your poastes.

By the moyst hand of loue I sweare, I will be his Lotte­rie, and he shall neuer draw, but it shall be a prize.

Mistris, if you haue euer a Pinnace to set out, you may now haue it man'd and ryg'd; for Signior Curuetto, he that cryes, I am an old Courtier, but lye close, lye close, when our Maides sweare hee lyes as wide as any Courtier in Italy.

Anon, anon, anon, this old hoarie red Deare, serues him­selfe in at your key-hole.

Fye, fie, fie, I wonder what this Gurnets head makes heere: yet bring him in, he will serue for picking meate; let Mu­sicke play, for I will feyne my selfe to be a sleepe.

Any thing at your hands sir, I will put vp, because you sildome pull out any thing.

An olde hoarie Courtier? why so has a Iowle of Ling, and a mustie Whiting bin (time out of minde) me thinkes Signior, you should not be so olde by your face:

Fie, fie, fie, and you meete mee thus at halfe weapon, one must downe.

Doe not therefore come ouer me so with crosse blows, no, no, no, I shall be sicke, if my speech be stopt: by my Virgi­nitie I sweare: and why may not I sweare by that I haue not, as well as poore mustie Soldiers doe by their honour: Brides, at foure & twentie: ha, ha, ha, by their Maiden-heads: Cittizens, by their faith, and Brokers as they hope to be saued: by my Virginitie I sweare, I dream'd that one brought me a goodlie Codshead, and in one of the eyes, there stucke (mee thought) [Page] the greatest pretious stone, the most sparkling Diamond: oh fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, that Diamonds should make women such fooles.

No, no, no, if you shrinke from me I will not loue you: stay.

Fie, fie, fie, by the neate tung of eloquence, this measure is out of measure, tis too hot, too hot, gallants bee not ashamed to shew your owne faces: Ladies vnapparell your deare beau­ties: So, so, so, so, heere is a banquet; sit, sit, sit Signior Curuetto, thrust in among them, soft Musicke there, doe, doe, doe.

I will first salute the men, close with the women, and last sit.

But not sit last: a banquet? and haue these Suckets heere? oh I haue a crue of Angels prisoners in my pocket, and none but a good bale of dice can fetch them out: Dice ho; come my little letcherous Baboone, by Saint Marke, you shall venture your twentie crownes.

Let him goe, I knew what hooke would choake him, and therfore baited that for him to nibble vpon: an old combe­peckt rascall, that was beaten out a'th Cocke-pit, when I could not stand a hye-lone without I held by a thing, to come crow­ing among vs: hang him lobster; come, the same oath that your Fore-man tooke, take all, and Sing.

Mars armipotent with his Court-of-guard, giue sharp­nes to my Toledo, I am beleager'd, ô Cupid graunt that my blushing prooue not a Linstocke, and giue fire too sodainlie to the roaring Meg of my desires; most Sanguine cheekt La­dyes.

S'foote how now Don Dego; Sanguine cheekt? dost thinke their faces haue been at Cutlers? out you roring-tawny­fac'd rascall, t'were a good deede to beate my hyltes about's coxcombe, and then make him Sanguine cheekt too.

Fye, fie, fie, fie, fie, tho I hate his companie, I wod not haue my house to abuse his countenance: no, no, no, bee not so [Page] Contagious, I will send him hence with a flea in's eare.

Doe, or Ile turne him into a flea, and make him skip vn­der some of your petticoates.

Most sweet face you neede not hang out your silken tongue as a Flag of truce: for I will drop at your feete, ere I draw bloud in your Chamber; yet I shall hardly drinke vp this wrong, for your sake I will wipe it out for this time: I would deale with you in secret (so you had a voide roome) about most deepe and serious matters.

Ile send these hence; fie, fie, fie, I am so choakt still with this man of Ginger-bread, and yet I can neuer be rid of him, but harke Hipolito.

Good draw the Curtaines, put out Candles, and girles to bed.

Venus, giue me sucke, from thine owne most white and tender dugs, that I may batten in loue: deere instrument of ma­nie mens delight, are all these women?

You apprehend too fast, I meane by women, wiues: for wiues are no maides, nor are maides women: If those vnbear­ded Gallants keepe the doores of their Wedlocke, those Ladies spend their houres of pastime but ill, (ô most rich armefull of beautie) but if you can bring all those Feamales into one ring, into one priuate place: I wil read a Lecture of discipline, to their most great and honourable eares; wherein I will teach them, so to carrie their white bodies, eyther before their husbands or be­fore their Louers, that they shall neuer feare to haue milke throwne in their faces; nor I, wine in mine, when I come to sit vp­on them in curtesie.

That were excellent, Ile haue them all heere at your pleasure.

I will shew them all the trickes and garbes of Spanish Dames, I will studye for apt and legant phrase to tickle them with; and when my deuise is readie I will come: will you inspire into your most diuine spirits, the most diuine soule of Tobacco?

No, no, no; fye, fye, fie, I should be choaktvp if your pipe should kisse my vnder-lip.

Hence foorth, most deepe stampe of Feminine perfecti­on, my Pype shall not bee drawne before you, but in se­cret.

The wodden picture you sent her, hath set her on fire; and shee desires you as you pittye the case of a poore des­perate Gentlewoman, to serue that Monsieur in at Supper to her.

The Frenchman, Saint Dennis, let her carue him vp: Stay, heer's Camillo; now my foole in fashion, my sage Ideot, vp with this brimmes, downe with this deuill (Melancho­lie) are you decayed concupiscentious Inamorato? newes, news, Imperia dotes on Fontinell.

Mary this Sir; heere's a Yellow-hammer flew to me with thy water, and I cast it, and finde, that his Mistris be­ing giuen to this newe falling-sicknesse, will cure thee: the Frenchman you see has a soft Mermaladie heart, and shall no sooner feele Imperiaes liquerish desire to licke at him, but straight hee'll sticke the brooch of her longing in it: then Sir, may you sir, come vpon my Sister sir, with a fresh charge Sir; Sa, sa, sa, sa, once giuing backe, and thrice comming forward, she yeeld and the towne of Brest is taken.

I may be her Mercury, for my running of errands; but [Page] troth is Sir, I am Cerberus, for I am porter to hell.

Hark swaggerer, there's a little dapple-colour'd rascal: ho [Page] a Bona Roba; her name's Imperia, a Gentlewoman by my faith of an auntient house, and has goodlie rents, and comminges in of her owne, and this Ape would faine haue thee chayn'd to her in the holie state: Sirra, shee's falne in loue with thy picture, yes faith too her, wooe her, and win her: leaue my Sister, & thy ran­some's paide; all's paide Gentlemen; bi'th Lord Imperia is as good a girle as any is in Uenice.

After him Frisco, inforce thy Mistresses passion, thou shalt haue accesse to him, to bring him loue-tokens: if they preuaile not, yet thou shalt still be in presence, bee't but to spite him: In honest Frisco.

Come, wilt thou goelaugh, and lye downe? nowe sure there be some rebels in thy bellie, for thine eyes doe nothing but watch and ward, tho'ast not slept these three nights.

Doe you heare Susanna: you, puncke, if I geld not your Muske-Cat; Ile doo't by Iesu; lets goe Camillo.

Lady Imperia (the Curtezans Zani) hath brought you this letter, from the poore Gentleman in the deep dungeon, but would not stay till he had an answere.

Meete me at the end of the olde Chappell, next Saint Lorenzos Monestarie, furnish your companie with a Frier, that there he may consumate our holie vowes, till midnight: farewell.

Play you my part brauelie; you must looke like a slaue, and you shal see, Ile counterfeit the Frenchman most knauishl [...]; my Mistris (for your sake) charg'd mee on her blessing to fall to these shiftes; I left her at Cardes, shee'll sit vp till you come, be­cause shee'll haue you play a game at Noddie; you'll to her pre­sentlie:

I thinke she does not greatlie care whether you fall to her vpon your honour, or no: So, all's fit, tel my Ladie that I goe in a suite of Durance for her sake; that's your way, and this Pit­hole's mine; if I can scape hence, why so; if not, hee that's hang'd. is neerer to heauen by halfe a score steps then hee that dyes in a bed, and so adue Nonsieur.

Is his olde rotten Aqua-vitae bottle stoptvp? is hee gone? fie, fie, fie, fie, he so smels of Ale and Onions, and Rosa-so­lis, fie; bolt the doore, stop the key-hole least his breath peepe in, burne some Perfume: I doe not loue to handle these dry'd stocke-fishes that aske so much tawing, fie, fie, fie.

No, no no no, stooles and cushions, lowe stooles, lowe stooles, sit, sit, sit, round Ladies round; So, so, so, so let, oursweet beauties be spred to the full and most moouing aduantage, for we are falne into his hands, who they say, has an A B C, for the sticking in of the least white pin in any part of the body.

Madame Imperia, what stuffe is he like to draw out [Page] before vs?

Nay, nay, nay, tis Greeke to mee, tis Greeke to mee, I neuer had remnant of his Spanish leather learning: heere he comes, your eares may nowe fit themselues out of the whole peece.

I doe first deliuer to your most Skreete, & long-fingred hands, this head (or top of all the members) bare and vncomb'd, to shew how deeply I stand in reuerence of your naked Female beauties. Bright and vnclipt Angels, if I were to make a discoue­rie of any new-found land (as Virginia or so) to Ladies & Cour­tiers, my speech should hoist vp Sailes, fit to beare vp such loftie and well rigged vessels: but because I am to deale onelie with the ciuell Chittie Matron; I will not lay vpon your blushing and delicate cheeke, any other colours, than such as will giue luster to your chittie faces, in & to that purpose, our Thesis is taken out of that most plentifull, but most pretious booke: Intituled, the Oeconomicall Cornacopia.

Most pure and refined plants of nature, I will not (as this Dis­tinction inticeth) take vp the parts as they lye heere in order: As first, to touch your wisedome, it were follie: next, your complain­ing, tis too common: thirdly, your keeping vnder, tis aboue my capachitie: and lastly, the raines in your owne hands, that is the A-per-se of all, the verie creame of all, and therefore how to skim off that onely, onely listen: a wife wise, no matter: apt wit; no matter: complaining, no matter: kept vnder, no great matter: but to rule the roast, is the matter.

Since then, a womans onely desire is to haue the raines in her owne white hand; your chiefe practise (the very same day that you are wiued) must be to get hold of these raines, & being fully gotten, or wound about; yet to complaine (with apt wit) as tho you had them not.

How shall we know Signior, when wee haue them all or not?

I will furnish your capable vnderstandings, out of my poore Spanish store, with the chiefe implements, and their ap­purtenances: Obserue, It shall be your first and finest praise, to sing the note of euery new fashion, at first sight; and (if you can) to stretch that note aboue Eela.

The more you pinch your Seruantes bellies for this, the smoother will the fashion sit on your backe: But if your good man, like not this Musicke, (as being too full of Crochets) your onely way is, to learne to play vpon the Virginals, and so naile his eares to your sweete humours: if this bee out of time too, yet your labour will quit the cost; for by this meanes your secret friend may haue free and open accesse to you, vnder the cullour of pricking you lessons: Now, be­cause you may tye your husbands loue in most sweet knots, you shall neuer giue ouer labouring, till out of his purse you haue digged a garden: and that garden must stand a prettie distance from the Chittie; for by repairing thether, much good fruite may be grafted.

Then (in the after noone) when you addresse your sweet perfum'd body, to walke to this garden, there to gather a nose-gay, sops-in-wine, cowslips, columbines, hearts-ease; &c. The first principle to learne is, that you sticke blacke patches for the rewme on your delicate blew Temples, tho there bee no roome for the rewme; black patches are comely in most womē, & being wel fastened, draw mens eyes to shoote glances at you: [Page] Next, your ruffe must stand in print, and for that purpose, gette poking sticks with faire and long handles, least they scorch your lilly sweating handes: then your Hat with a little brim (if you haue a little face) if otherwise, otherwise. Besides, you must play the wag with your wanton Fan; haue your Dog (call'd Pearle or Min, or why aske you? or any other prettie name) daunce along by you: your Imbrodered Muffe before you, on your rauishing hands; but take heede who thrustes his fingers into your Furre.

Once a quarter take state vpon you, and be chicke; be­ing chicke, (thus politickly) lye at your garden; your lip-sworne seruant may there visit you as a Phisition: where otherwise, (if you languish at home) be sure your husband will looke to your water: This chicknes may be increast, with giuing out that you breed yongbones; and to sticke flesh vpon those bones, it shall not bee amisse, if you long for Pescods, at ten groates the Cod; and for Cherries at a crowne the Cherrie.

If while this pleasing fit of chicknes holde you, you be inuited foorth to supper, whimper and seeme vnwilling to goe; but if your good man (bestowing the sweet ducke, & kisse vpon your moyst lyp) intreate, goe: marie my counsell is, you eate little at Table, because it may bee said of you, you are no cormorant; yet at your comming home you may counterfeit a qualme, & so deuour a posset: your husband need not haue his nose in that posset: no, trust your Chamber-maide onelie in this; and scarcely her, for you cannot be too carefull into whose hands you commit your secrets.

If you haue Daughters capable, marrie them by no meanes to Chittizens, but choose for them some smooth chin­ned curld-headed Gentleman; for Gentlemen will lift vp your daughters to their owne content: and to make these curl'd-pa­ted Gallants come off the more roundlie, make your husband goe to the Herald for Armes; and let it be your daylie care, that [Page] hee haue a faire and comely Crest; yea, goe all the waies your selues you can to be made Ladies, especiallie if (without daunger to his person, or for loue or money) you can procure your hus­band to be dubbed: The Goddesse of memorie locke vp these Iewels which I haue bestowed vpon you, in your sweet braines: let these be the rules to square out your life by, tho you nere goe leuill, but tread you shooes awry: If you can get these raines into your Lillie hand you shall need no Coaches, but may driue your husbands: put it downe, and according to that wise saying of you, be Saints in the Church, Angels in the streete, deuils in the Kitchin, and Apes in your bed; vpon which, leauing you tumbling; pardon me that thus abruptlie and openlie I take you all vp.

You haue got so farre into our bookes Signior, that you cannot scape without a pardon heere, if you take vs vp neuer so snappishlie.

Musicke there to close our Stomackes: how doe you like him Madona?

O trust me, I like him most profoundlie: why, hee's able to put downe twentie such as I am.

Let them build vpon that; nay more, wee'll hence­foorth neuer goe to a cunning woman, since men can teach vs our lerrie.

We are all fooles to him, and our husbands (if we can holde these raines fast) shall be fooles to vs.

If we can keepe but this Bias wenches, our good men may perchaunce once in a month, get a fore-game of vs: but if they win a rubbers, let them throw their caps at it.

No, no, no, deere features, hold their noses to the grind­stone and they're gone; thankes worthie Signior: fye, fie, fie, you stand bare too long: come bright Mirrours, will you withdraw into a gallerie, and taste a slight banquet?

Wee shall cloye ourselues with sweetes, my sweete Madona.

No, no, no, fie, fie, fie, Signior Lazarillo, eyther bee you [Page] our Fore-man, or else put in these Ladies (at your discreation) nto the Gallerie and cut of this striuing.

It shall be my Office, my Fees being (as they passe) to take tole of their Alablaster hands.

Imperia staies. Admired creature, I summon you to a parlee, you remember this is the night?

So, so, so, I doe remember; heere is a key, that is your Chamber; lightes Simperina: about twelue a clocke you shall take my beautie prisoner; fie, fie, fie, how I blush? at 12. a clocke.

No, no, no, put vp, put vp your ioyes til anon, I wil come by my virginitie; but I must tel you one thing, that all my cham­bers are many nightes haunted; with what sprites none can see: but sometimes wee heare Birdes singing; sometimes Musicke playing; sometimes voices laughing, but stirre not you, nor bee frighted at any thing.

By Hercules, if any spirits rise, I will coniure them in their owne Circles with Toledo. (readie?

So, so, so, I will bee rid of this broilde red Sprat that stinkes so in my stomacke, fih; I hate him worse, than to haue a Tailor come a woing to me: Gods me, the sweet Ladies, the banquet, I forget: fie, fie, fie, follow deere Signior.

The trap doore Simperina.

Gods my life what haue you done? you are in a sweet pickle if you pul'd at this rope:

Mary Muff, will you vp and ride, y'are mine elder: by my pure Maiden-head heer's a iest: why this was a water-worke to drowne a Ratte that vses to creepe in at this window.

You smell a sodden sheep shead; a Rat? I a Rat, and you will not beleeue me marie foh; I haue beene beleeu'd of your betters, marie snicke vp.

Goe from my window goe, goe from, &c. away, goe by olde Ieronimo; nay and you shrinke i'th wetting, walke, walke, walke.

A Rat by this hempe, and you could ha smelt; harke you, heer's the bell, ting, ting, ting; would the clapper were in my bellie, if I am not mad at your fopperie; I could scratch, fie, fie, fie, fie, fie, (as my Mistris saies) but goe, hye you home; shift you, come backe presentlie; heere you shall finde a ladder of cordes, climbe vp, Ile receiue you, my Mistris lyes alone, shee's yours, a­way.

Nay scud, you know what you promis'd me: I shall haue simple yawling for this, be gone and Mum.

Saint Iaques and the seuen deadlie sinnes (that is, the se­uen wise Masters of the world) pardon me for this night, I will kill the deuill.

Thou Prince of Black-amoores, thou shalt haue small cause to laugh, if I run thee through: this chamber is haunted, would I had not beene brought a bed in it, or else were well deliuered: for my heart tels mee tis no good lucke, to haue any thing to doe with the deuill, hee's a paultry marchant.

I shall be mowz'd by pusse-cattes: but I had rather dye a dogs death; they haue nine liues (a peece like a woman) and they will make it vp ten liues, if they and I fall a scratching: Bright Helena of this house, wod thy Troy were a fire, for I am a colde; or else wod I had the Greekes wodden Curtall, to ride away: most Ambrosian-lipt creature, come away quicklie, for this nights lodging lyes colde at my heart.

The Spanish Pauin: I thought the deuill could not vnderstand Spanish: but since thou art my countriman, ô thou tawnie Satin, I will daunce after thy pipe.

Ho sweet deuill, ho thou wilt make any man weary of thee, tho he deale with thee in his shirt,

Ho, ho, Frisco, Madona, I am in hell, but heer is no fire; Hell fire is all put out; what ho? so ho ho? I shall bee drown'd; I beseech thee, deare Frisco, raise Blurt the Constable, or some Scauinger, to come and make cleane these kennels of hell, for they stinke so, that I shall cast away my precious selfe.

Hee's downe, he cryes out he's in hell, it's heauen to me to haue him cry so.

I, whisling? Slubber Iog the watch, & giue the Lanthorne a flap.

Signior Curuetto heer's the ladder, I watch to doe you a good turne, I am Frisco, is not Blurt abroad and his Bill-men?

Helpe, helpe, helpe, theeues, theeues, helpe, theeues, &c.

Theeues, where? follow close: Slubber the Lanthorne, holde; I charge you in the Dukes name stand: Sirra, y'are like to hang for this: downe with him.

Master Blurt, Master Constable, heer's his ladder, hee comes to rob my mistris, I haue bin scar'd out of my wits, aboue seauen times by him, and it's fortie to one, if euer they come in a­gen, I lay fellonie to his charge.

Cunny-catching will beare an action; Ile cunny-catch you for this; if I can finde our key I will ayde you: Master Blurt, if not, looke to him, as you will answere it vpon your death-bed.

Woodcocke, you are of our side now, and therfore your acquaintance cannot serue, and you were a Gentleman of vel­uet I would commit you.

What am I sir? doe not you know this staffe? I am sir the Dukes owne Image; at this time the Dukes tongue (for fault of a better) lyes in my mouth; I am Constable sir.

I say awaie with him, Ile Blurt you, Ile teach you to stand couer'd to Authoritie; your hoarie head shall bee knockt when this staffe is in place.

No, pardon me, you abuse the Duke, in me that am his Cipher, I say away with him; Gulch, away with him; Woodcocke, keepe you with me, I wil be known for more then Blurt.

Thou honest fellow (the man in the Moone) I beseech thee set fire on thy bush ofthornes, to light and warme me, for I am dung wet: I fell like Lucifer I thinke into hell, and am crauld out, but in worse pickle than my leane Pilcher: heere a­bout is the Hot-house of my loue, ho, ho? why ho there?

Who's that? what Deuill standes hohing at my doore so late?

Lazarilloes ghost? haunt me not I charge thee, I knowe thee not, I am in a dreame of a drie-Summer, therefore appeare not to me.

Is not this the mantion of the cherrie-lipt Madona Imperia?

Lazarilla de Tormes: sweete bloud, I haue a poore Spa­nish suite, depending in your house; let me enter most pretious Frisco, the Mistris of this mansion is my beautifull Hoastesse.

How? you Turpentine pill, my wife your Hostesse? a­way you Spanish vermine.

And you lament heere, Ile stone you with Brick-bats, I am a sleepe.

My Slop and Mandillion lye at thy mercy (fine Frisco) I beseech thee let not my case bee thine, I must and will la­ment.

Thou hast sowsed my poor hogs-face: O Frisco, thou art a scuruie Doctor, to cast my water no better; it is most rammish Vrine, Mars shall not saue thee, I will make a browne toaste of thy heart, and drinke it in a pot of thy strong bloud.

Such fellows must be taken downe, stand: what white thing is yonder?

You haue Blurted faire, I am by my Office to examine you, where you haue spent these two nights?

Most bigge Blurt, I answere thy great Authoritie, that I haue beene in hell, and am scratcht to death with Pusse-Cattes.

Doe you run a'th score at an Officers house, & then runne aboue twelue score off?

I did not runne my sweet-fac'd Blurt; the Spanish fleete is bringing golde enough to discharge all, from the Indies: lodge [Page] me most pittifull Bill-man.

Marie and will: I am (in the Dukes name) to charge you with despicious of fellonie: and Burglarie is commit­ted this night, and we are to reprehend any that we thinke to bee faultie; were not you at Madona freckle-faces house?

Master Lazarns, I know you are a sore fellow where you take, and therefore I charge you (in the Dukes name) to goe without wrasling, though you be in your shirt.

If you he kin to Don Dego (that was smelt out in Paules) you packe; your Lantedoes nor your Lanteeroes cannot serue your turne: I charge you, let me commit you to the tuition.—

Worshipfull Blurt, doe not commit me into the hands of dogs.

Master Lazarus, ther's not a dog shall bite you, these are true Bill-men, that fight vnder the common wealthes flag.

Blurt me no Blurts, Ile teach all Spaniards how to med­dle with whoores.

Most cunning Constable, all Spaniards know that al­readie, I haue medled with none.

I beseech thee most honest Blurt, let not my shirt be­raye me.

I say away with him: Musicke, that's in the Curtizans; they are about some vngodlie Acte, but Ile play a part in't ere [Page] morning: away with Lazarus.

Thy kytes and thee, for this shal watch in durt to feede on carrion.

Gentlemen and Noble Italians, whome I loue best; who know best what wrongs I haue stood vnder: being lay de on by him, who is to thanke me for his life, I did bestowe him (as the prize of mine honour) vpon my Loue, the most faire Vi­oletta: my loues merit was basely solde to him, by the most false Violetta: not content with this Fellonie, he hath dar'd to adde the sweet theft of Ignoble marriage; shee's now, nones but his, and hee (treacherous villaine) any ones, but hers; hee dotes (my honor'd friends) on a painted Curtizan, and in scorne of our I­talian lawes, our familie, our reuenge, loathes Violettaes bed, for a harlots bosome: I coniure you therefore, by all the bonds of Gentilitie, that as you haue solemnely sworne a most sharpe; so let the reuenge be most sodaine.

As for that light Hobby-horse my Sister, whose foule name, I will race out with my Poniard; by the honour of my Familie (which her lust hath prophaned) I sweare (and Gentlemen be in this, my sworne brothers) I sweare that as all Uenice does admire her beautie, so all the world shall be amazed at her punishment, follow therefore.

Stay, let our resolutions keepe together: whether goe; we first?

And kill'd, to hang out his reeking bodie, at his Harlots window.

As you goe, euerie hand pull in a friend, to strengthen vs against all opposites: he that has any drop of true Italian bloud in him, thus vow (this morning) to shed others, or let out his owne; if you consent to this, follow me.

Ah you little effeminate sweete Cheueleere, why dost thou not get a loose Periwig of haire on thy chinne, to set thy French face off, by the panting pulse of Uenus: thou art wel­come a thousand degrees beyond the reach of Arithmaticke: Good, good, good, your lip is moiste & moouing; it hath the truest French close, euen like Mapew; la, la, la &c.

So, so, so doe, doe, doe, come, come, come; will you con­demne the mute rushes to be prest to death by your sweet bo­dy? downe, downe, downe, heere, heere, heere; leane your head vpon the lap of my gowne; good, good good: O Saint Marke! Heere is a loue-marke ableto weare more Ladies eyes for Iew­els then—oh! lye still, lye still, I will leuill a true Venetian kisse ouer your right shoulder.

No, no, no, Ile beate this Cherry-tree thus, & thus, and thus; and you name wound.

Doe, doe, doe, and if you make any more such lips, when I beate you, by my Virginitie you shall busse this rod: Musicke: I pray thee bee not a puritaine. Sister to the rest of the Sciences, I knewe the time when thou couldst abide handling.

Oh, fie, fie, fie, forbeare, thou art like a punie-Barber (new come to the trade) thou pick'st our eares too deepe: So, so, so, will my sweet prisoner entertaine a poore Italian Song?

I care not if I perswade my bad voice to wrastle with this Musicke and catcha straine; so, so, so, keep time, keep time, keepe time.

Case vp this Gentleman, ther's rapping at doore; and one in a small voice, saies, ther's Camilla and Hippolito.

O harke! not hurt for the Rialta; goe, goe, goe, put vp: by my Virginitie you shall put vp.

Into that little roome, you are there as safe as in France, or [Page] the Low Countries.

So, so, so, let them enter; Triuia, Simperina, smooth my gowne, treade downe the rushes, let them enter; doe, doe, doe, no wordes pretty darling: la, la, la, hey nony nony no.

By your leaue sweet beautie, pardon my excuse, which vnder the maske of Camilloes and my brothers names, sought entrance into this house: good Sweetnes, haue you not a proper­tie heere, improper to your house, my husband?

Gall? your husband? ha, ha, ha; by my ventoy (yellow Lady) you take your marke improper, no, no, no, my Suger-can­die Mistris) your good man is not heere I assure you; heere? ha hah.

Doe not mocke mee fairest Venetian; come, I knowe hee's heere: good faith I doe not blame him, for your beau­tie glides ouer his error; troth I am right glad that you (my Countrie woman) haue receiued the pawne of my affections: you cannot bee hard-harted, louing him, nor hate mee, for I loue him too: since wee both loue him, let vs not leaue him, till wee haue call'd home the ill hus­bandrie of a sweete Stragler; prethee (good wench) vse him well.

If he deserue not to bee vsed well (as Ide bee loath he should deserue it) Ile ingage my selfe (deere beauty) to thine ho­nest hart; giue me leaue to loue him, and Ile giue him a kinde of leaue to loue thee: I know he heer's me; I prethee try mine eyes, [Page] if they knowe him, that haue almost drown'd themselues in their owne salt water, because they cannot see him: In troth Ile not chide him; if I speake wordes rougher then soft kisses, my pennaunce shall bee to see him kisse thee, yet to holde my peace.

Good troth (pretty wed-locke) thou makst my little eyes smart, with washing themselues in brine; I keep your Cocke from his owne roost? and mar such a sweete face? and wipe off that daintie red? and make Cupid tole the bell for your loue-sicke hart no, no, no, if he were Ioues own Ingle (Ganimed) fie, fie, fie, Ile none; your Chamber-fellow is within, thou shalt inioy my bed, and thine owne pleasure this night: Simperina conduct in this Ladie; Frisco silence, ha, ha, ha; I am sorrie to see a woman so tame a foole; come, come, come.

Stand, I charge you put vp your naked weapons, and wee'll put vp our rusty Billes.

I charge you i'th Dukes name (before his owne face) to keep the peace.

Sweet Gentlemen: though you haue called the Dukes owne ghost Peasant, for I walke for him i'th night: (Kilderkin & Pisse-breech holde out) yet heere me, (deare blouds) the Duke heere for fault of a better and my selfe; (Cuckoe flye not hence) for fault of a better, are to lay you by the heeles, if you goe thus with fire and swoord; for the Duke is the head, and I Blurt, am the purtenaunce: Woodcocke keepe by my side: Now sir—

Right Sir, this is the whoore-house, heere hee calles and sets in his staffe.

Ile tickle her; it shall nere bee said that a browne Byll lookt pale.

Your fye, fye, fye, nor your foh, foh, foh, cannot serue your turne; on must now beare it off with head and shoulders.

Sir, hee's not to bee discharg'd, nor so to bee shot off, I haue put him into a new suite, and haue entred into him wich an action, he owes me two and thirtie shillings.

It would be more honour to thee to pay me before thou dyest; twenty shillings of this debt came out of his nose.

Signior no, you cannot smoake me so; he tooke twen­ty shillings of it in a fewme, and the rest I charge him with for his lying.

He did lye (for the time) as well as any Knight of the Poaste did euer lye.

I doe heere put off thy suite, and appeale; I warne thee to the Court of Conscience, and will pay thee by two pence a weeke, which I wil rake out of the hot embers of Tobacco ashes, and then trauaile on foote to the Indies for more golde, whose red cheekes I will kisse, and beate thee Blurt if thou watch for me.

There be many of your Countrymen in Ireland Signi­or, trauaile to them.