MARTINS Months minde, THAT IS, A certaine report, and true description of the Death, and Funeralls, of olde Martin Marre­prelate, the great makebate of England, and father of the Factious.

Contayning the cause of his death, the manner of his buriall, and the right copies both of his Will, and of such Epitaphs, as by sundrie his dearest friends, and other of his well willers, were framed for him.

Martin the Ape, the dronke, and the madde,
The three Martins are, whose workes we haue had.
If Martin the fourth come, after Martins so euill,
Nor man, nor beast comes, but Martin the deuill.

1589.

The Epistle De­dicatorie to Pasquine of England.

FRiend Pasquine, most harty Com­mendations. For I cannot but both hartelie commend mee to you, Pasquines Countercuffe. & commend you also▪ The Cuffe you latelie gaue to Martin the yonker, in steed of his gloue, was so smartlie giuen, and sate so close to his eare; as I must needes praise both your courage, and cunning in cuffing. And for that both he, and his good brother, shall not want Cuffes to keepe themselues warme withall this winter: I haue giuen them both, now one Cuffe more: which al­beit in truth bee but a whirre [...]; yet am I clasping my fist as fast as I can, to giue them one paire of Cuffes more, that shall bee so soundlie set on, as I doubt not shall make them stagger.

Martins sonnes saie Martin is dead; I know it to be no fable: and haue sent you here the true trans­cript of all that worthie & memorable historie, con­taining, his Sicknes, last Will, Death, Anatomie, Buriall, [Page] and Epitaphs, with all other Implements belonging thereunto. Herein I haue made them but a little me­rie, 1 Old Martins Months minde. as they doo vs, and bobde them with their owne bable, which I know must please them (for they are verie pleasurable Gentlemen as their father was). In the next that shall bee verie shortlie (which I terme The suing of Martin Senior his liuerie) wee shall giue them a Cuffe shall make their eares tingle: 2 The suing of yong Martins liuerie. but in the third which shall be Martins models, (for he is in the building vaine as his father was) containing the mis­chiefes of Martinisme both to the Church and state; 3 Martins mo­dells. we shall reach them a rappe, as they will neuer clawe of, except they scratt off the skinne from the verie bones, til they come to the Crowes and Pies to help them: and will prooue in good earnest, what them­selues report of themselues which is better than the best Iurie (prophecying with Caiphas) that they are the verie botches and blaines of both those bodies.

In the meane space ( Pasquine) remember your pro­mise. It growes fast towards Ianuarie: it were time your Almanacke were out; Pasquins Al­manack. and for that it seemeth you haue some skill in Astrologie, (if it maie be) by your calculation, let vs haue a glimse at the least, of the fooles phisnomies. Thus much maie wee con­iecture, without any figure, that they are some yong Diuells, and that their purpose is to make some hot worke with vs, (and therefore no maruell that they haue been so firie heretofore) that haue chosen a Salpeter man for their foreman, Martin makes gun powder. and a gunne pow­der house (an hell on earth) for their printing shop. [Page] But I hope they shall not want Matches to sindge them with their owne fire, and to blowe vp their powder and all about their eares.

But especiallie ( Pasquine) for that they are so busie with other mens doings, and themselues onelie, The Mirrour of all modestie, honestie, curtesie, humilitie, pa­tience, and all sanctitie, Pasquins Le­gend. remember your Legende in a­nie wise. The liues of such Saincts must needes be a singular peece of worke, and edifie much; especiallie against the seuen deadlie sinnes which they neuer transgresse. Martins neuer transgresse the 7. dead [...] sinnes. Pride, for they despise all but themselues. Lecherie, for three at a clappe, their heaths can yeeld them. Sloath, for though they bee seldome idle, yet they are neuer well occupied. Gluttonie, for they would deuoure all. Couetousnes, for they are neuer sa­tisfied. Wrath, for they doo nothing but quarrell. En­uie, for they cannot abide anie to haue ought, but themselues. Their foure Cardinall ver­tues. But especiallie for the foure Cardinall vertues: Fortitude, for they hide their heads. Iustice, for they would take from euerie man his owne. Wisedome, or els I report me to their wittie conceits. And Temperance, for they gouern their passions pas­singly wel. Their three Theologcall vertues. But for the three Theological vertues they excell, of all that euer I heard of. Faith, for I doubt me whether they bee of anie. Hope, which is to see the ouerthrowe of all. And Charitie, for they detest and damne all but themselues. And though they were at the first, and bee still, passing impudent, and neither feare nor shame to saie anie thing, hiding their heades, and being out of the reach of all con­trolement: [Page] (for Qui semel impudentiae fines transierit, eum bene & kn [...]uiter, oportet esse impudentem) yet ( Pas­quine) since they are now become contemptible, a­mongst the most and best, let vs trample on them as the dirt of the streete; being in verie deed the drosse and dregges of the Common wealth. And so long­ing to heare from you, as you shall from me againe, (God willing) verie shortlie, I bid you farewell.

Your fast friend, and fellowe in Armes Mar-phoreus.

To the discreet and indif­ferent Reader.

IT is a world to see this world ( good reader) Neuer deeper dangers in hand, Martins vn­seasonable contenti­ons. nor lesse adui­sedlie regarded. Neuer sleighter toyes in head, nor more seriouslie followed. Neuer greater Tragoedies tendred abroad, nor lighter Co­maedies trauersed at home. Neuer so many meanes of discorde from others, nor euer so little concord among our selues. The people neuer greater benefites, nor more vnthanke­full; neuer more quietnes, nor more vnquiet. The Prince neuer more gratious, the subiects for a great part neuer so vngratious. And to be short, neuer better lawes, nor wiser Ma­gistrates; yet neuer such libertie in speaking, [Page] impudencie in writing, nor mischiefe in wor­king, both priuatelie against particuler per­sons (and those of the best) for their de­facing, and publiquelie for the vnder­mining of the Church, and ouerthrowe of the common wealth as now. The Authors hereof, Martins cunning and craftie proceeding in his af­faires. though they shot at both at once, (whereof the one was and is vsed but as the vnderground worke to blowe vp the other whereupon it stands which in the sueing of Martins liuerie shortlie shall be made mani­fest:) and desired to see the cleauing of the pinne, withall the expedition that might pos­sible be (wherein God be thanked their haste was more than their good speede): yet pro­ceeded they therein cunninglie by degrees, as the Foxe did with the Lyon: first peering at him a farre of; then looking on him, but be­hinde a bush, till at the last, finding his roring to bee without biting, hee presumed to [...]ett cheeke by iole with him: Or as that varlet did, that by oft striking at the picture pain­ted on a board, that could not controule him; [Page] aduentured in the end to strike through and murder the man himselfe.

For first of all, The foure formes of old Martins schoole. some of them which were the Petties and Punies of that schoole, where­of old Martin was the master; though then he was but as some blinde and obscure parish Clarke that taught in the Belfrie, The first forme. not presu­ming, Admoni­shers. as hee dooth nowe, to presse into the Church, (that place in respect of the appurte­nances being fitter for him) began but rawly with their little a, b, c. And though their fescue euen▪ then pointed at Capitall letters: yet for that time, the farthest lesson they tooke foorth was but Title point in the end; neither could they come so farre as Estamen, because God for beginning, was no part of their Crosse rowe. VVho like quaint Querristers (for they loue Musick as the Ape the whippe) first entred with their Solfaing notes, but not one in rule, (for they loue that neither in word nor deede) and raught onely at the ragges; which yet made some iagges in the seameles coate. And like the Saint Nicolas [Page] Clarkes on Salsburie plaine (I vse the si­militude, for that Martin loues Sarum so well) stept out before vs in the high waie, and bidde vs stand. In the ad­monition to the Parlia­ment. And these could not abide rounde heads to weare square cappes, that yet could brooke a round trencher (espe­ciallie at another mans square table): nor a standing coller answerable to the neck, that would weare bowcases, and whole butterie hatches themselues vpon their backes. Nor a woman to weare a kercher but an inch beneath the chinne, that would weare them­selues hattes of the Babilonian blocke, a foote in length at least aboue their heads. No crosse in the browe at Baptisme, but neuer so many, at any time in the bagge. No bells, but Libells, and bables of their own. No Ho­melies read, but their own Hom-lies prea­ched. No praying, either for women labou­ring with child, or thanks giuing for women deliuered. No more praying against thunder and lightning, than against spar­rowe blasting. Their own god­lie speach­es. They would correct Mag­nificat, [Page] not knowing Quid significat. They could not like of any Benedictus, for they were (and yet are still) in their Maledictus and Malefactus altogether, neither could they then, or yet can they skill of any thing else. But these men were but bench whistlers, and shot but at short butts, and but for points after an halfepenie the dosen, for that they would not sit out, but bee counted gamesters, and bee thought to bee able to shoote in a long bowe, though but a bolte; or in a Crossebowe, though neuer so small a quarrell. Yet these were good fellowes; for they craued but halfe, for that they thought some had too much; (as the manner of such make shifts is to do): and they had some reason for it, for Oxonium petit aequalia is an olde said sawe, and Sol­uatecclesia, was a faire and gentle text for that purpose.

Next after these, The second forme. followed another crue, somewhat more than a good deale quicker than these; Pistlers. who being past their A, b, c, sought to put together (and thought withall to put [Page] vs altogether by the eares) and began their crooked descant, consisting onelie of discords: and these like lustie cutters, Old Mar­tin in his Epistle. drawing out and brandishing their blades and threatning vs with stripes yea to make our verie hearts to ake if we would not yeelde, aduentured to lay holde fast on our purses, and like strong theeues in deed proffered to robbe vs of all our monnie. And the Captaine Cuffe of this boun­cing band, was the old Sheepbiter, the aunci­ent Gentleman this our young masters Fa­ther: who then was [...]pt from the Bellfree, vp into the Chauncel of the Church. (O that the bell rope had not staide him by the waie) and vnder tooke the trauersing of greater mat­ters. He not content to plucke of the clothes, pricks at the bodies. Old Mar­tin tho­row out al his works. He will pull the Arch­bishops and Bishops out of their doores by the eares. Hee will downe with their houses, though the Gentlemans ancestors neuer built them. Hee will tumble downe the Churches, for barnes and stables will serue his deuotion well inough. Hee must haue their Mannors [Page] and lands, to make himselfe, and his beggar­lie bratts and shifting hang b [...]es, Squires and Gentlemen. Hee will sweepe away all both the fish, and the frie at one draug [...]t, with his netts; and as it were drie vp our verie ri­uers with the breath of his mouth; and carie whole Countries before him; and snatch vp houses and woods, and dales, and hills, and people, and all, into his budget: so as none shall dwell with him vpon t [...]e earth. Naie he goeth farther, and setting his face against the heauens, he makes a mock of the Saints of God; Old Martin in his Epi­stle. yea the mother of Christ, (with his sin­gle sold Sirs) & the Scriptures themselues he beastlie abuseth to his hick scorners iestes.

This man, In his Pistle tacking on a blind iest of a Bene­fice, to a text of S. Peter. like a madde dogge runneth at euerie man without regarde, and with foming mouth, and venemous teeth, biteth not by the shinnes, but the verie throat, [...]e careth not whome; not onelie those, whome [...]ee counteth his enemies (the worst better than the best of his hey gobetts) but those also, whome hee saieth vntruesie men call; [Page] Puritans, Martin Iu­mor in Thes. and himselfe, accounteth his halfe faced friends, hee snarleth at; and termeth Traitors, for that they first set them on work, (as hee pittifullie complaining, sheweth vnto vs), and now are ashamed of them (as they well may) and will not gallop with them so fast as they doo vpon the spurre, and with­out the bridle beyond all honestie and discre­tion. Martin Se­nior in his Pistle in the margent. Nay his owne pufellowes (whome in­deed himselfe best knoweth, and with whome he may be boldest) he coteth with his own li­uerie, Martinistes sawcie knaues, by Martins owne testi­monie. and calleth saucie knaues: which me thinks, sits close to their backs, without pleite or wrinkle, and fitteth them so well, as no Tailour in England could doo it better. And yet he reuealeth the faults of others so whot­lie, and reuileth them so bitterlie, as if that name at no hand appertained to him, or any of his. The right of spring of him, that is termed Sathanas, the accuser of his brethren, and a verie limme of him, that is called Fur & ho­micida, a theefe and a murderer, for he com­meth not but to steale, and kill; and his marks [Page] are no dead marks, but liuings, and liues; and his arrowes all are forkers, and made for mis­chiefe, though fethered yet (as hereafter you shall heare) with woodcocks whing.

After him, The third forme. as if hell had been broken loose; Barbarians. out runnes another rabble, of the same house and famelie, in the collaterall line of leudnes, Browne, Barowe, and Greene­wood, that verie three headed Cerberus the dogge of hell: and these being of the for­mer consort for taking of our purse (for that wee should not bee able to see belike to make Hue and crie after the theeues) would haue vs whoodwinckt, See D. Somes an­swere to their po­sitions. and therefore being verie asses themselues, would needs haue our Vniuersities, the onelie meanes of our know­ledge downe. And so might they also the bet­ter afterwards, scatter what heresies soeuer they should deuise, (for that is their onelie occupation) as it were in that palpable darke­nes, and beastly barbarisme, without control­ment. These men, must needs (and so doo) dis­like of all degrees; worthie themselues to pro­ceede [Page] by no degrees, but roundels. The Cler­gie, they will not afforde so much as an hole to rest in; vnworthie themselues to haue a­ny hole (saue the pillorie) to put their heads in. The Prince, may not medle, (saie they) in matters of religion. Neither must the people tarie for the Prince, or Parlia­ment in Church matters: (neither should the hangman for such rib [...]lds). Churches, they will haue none. Sacraments, they care for none. Ministers, they neede none. They make all, and doo all; and are all them­selues. All set praiers, are babling and blasphemie, and such praiers only as them­selues make Ex trumperie, is the onelie pure, & perfect praying. As for the Lords praier, that is but a toye, and a plaine mocking of the Lord to saie it. Yea that it is better for a man to lie with his Fathers Wife (Quaere by the waie whether that also be not an arti­ticle of their religion); than to resorte to the Church, or come into the congrega­tion, to publique praier. Lucian the A­theist, [Page] was neuer so irreligious; nor euer Iu­lian the runnagate so blasphemous. And these comming out as it were with their three mans song, would confound all, and make a blacke fanctus of the matter: shooting out their venemous shafts, with mischeeuous heads, sharpened vpon Martins most mali­cious whetstone. For that they haue issued from Martins schoole, and are fellowes in feelde with them, and fight together, against both the Church & State, in one and the selfe same quarrell, shall euidentlie bee proued in Martins liuerie. These are the verie Lo­custes, that came from the smoake of the bot­tomeles pitte, to darken the Sunne, and the aire, with faces like men but teeth like Lions, and tailes like Scorpions, to sting men, be­ing not men infatuate, but beasts intoxicate, or rather verie diuels incarnate, sent out to deceiue and disturbe the world.

And now last of all (and would GOD it were so) out steppes mee their Abaddon, The fourth forme. a badde one indeede and the verie worst of all, Seditious. [Page] Martin Senior for sooth, the olde Martins sonne and [...]eire (worshipt might hee be) and together with him, a brother of his, one Mar­tin Iunior, a pretic stripling, (as he termes himselfe; and pretie striplings indeede would they bee, if they were cleane stript, and well whipt, and trimlie trust vp withall), as ve­rie varlets both; (they shall pardon me, if for themselues, I borrowe their owne phrase): as euer was their Father, or great Grandfather, or any of that leud linage before them, and these mens Cater Cosins, on the surer side. And these, to fill vp the iniquitie of their forefathers, disdainefullie scorne the Maie­stie of Princes and set light of them: Martin Iu. in Thes. and the one of them, abusing that most reuerendname, to the rascall his father, one of the verie scumme of the people: calleth him a man of a kinglie nature; Martin Sen. in cens. and not onelie that, but in plaine and flat terme maketh a test of Prin­ces: and the troub [...]ng of the State, and offending of her Maiestie, bee turneth of with a frumping, forsooth, as though it [Page] were a toie to thinke of it. Pag. 3. And the other scoffeth at her Maiesties authoritie, scor­neth hir displeasure, iesteth at praying for hir, Pag. 23. C [...]nsur. reuileth her lawes, threatneth her Magistrates; pag. 22. These things shall euidently be proued in Martins liuer [...]e. nay hir Maiestie her selfe; musters her subiects; sturreth vp Cler­gie men, Gentlemen, and people: and plainelie with open mouth and full cheekes, bloweth vp the trumpet to rebellion; and as it were with banner displaied (though lurking in his denne) dooth enter the fielde, He brag­geth that hee hath 100000. disciples in the realme, and those the strength and sinewes of the land. and giueth the defiance, except hee haue his foorth; and pretending his Pistle, bendeth his Pistoll at vs. Naie further, (that plainelie proueth him to bee a righte limme of Antechrist) hee rusheth into mens con­sciences, and sitts him downe in the seate of Gods secrets, and tell vs, Martin Sen. in cens. that such an one shall haue a fearefull ende, for that forsooth, he resisteth their shamefull be­ginnings. It shal be the bane to such a one, both in this life, (as if he had a purpose to kil him) and in the life to come, (as if hee had [Page] the power to damne him. And what is the of­fence? To moderate and marshall such mis­creants as himselfe, and his mates are? An heynous matter. I meruaile then what shall become of Master Recorder of London, that euerie moneth, dispatcheth manie lesse hurtful, and some much more honest, than the most of these are. Nay the Lorde hath no parte in such a one; whose grace (I vse that phrase in despite of both the Martins and al the Martinists) hath more grace, than all the rabble of such Rakehells, and moste miserable, Martin the Iu. in con­clus. and desperate kaitiues. I doo returne, but their owne verie words, that themselues lent vnto those that minde not to borrowe them, nor to be in their debt. And these lustie youthes, not contented with the pon, threaten vs the penknife: nor being sa­tisfied with our purse, hackle at our throate. And these are (as Martin the more spea­keth more truelie than himselfe is aware of touching himself and his yoke fellowes) most rebellious, Martin Senior his owne words of himselfe and his fellowes cens. pag. 6. and shall sufficientlie be proued in his Liue­rie. and disobedient to all good [Page] proceedings: Traitors and enemies to her Maiestie: They will ouerthrowe the states: to the which they shall adde thus much (to make it a perfect and a most true period) they shewe in their writings, that they saie in their hearts, there is no God.

For (to leaue furder stirring of this stin­king sinke) it is now come to this passe, The sub­stance and end of Mar­tins lessons. that if these men may haue their swaie, (but wee hope first they shall haue their swing) we shall haue left vs, I will not saie, No cap, no coats, no monie, no house, no liuing, but (better no life) no learning, no Magistrats, no Prince, no Church, no Sacrament, no praier, no nor God, for vs to worship, or feare at all. These men, would I call (as I well might) Monsters; saue that in these mischeeuous daies, wherein our Europa, i [...] become an Africa, in bringing dailie foorth newe monsters, I can account them but ordi­narie Vermin. But verie fitlie haue they ta­ken their name of Marring; that professe no­thing else but marring: both the names of [Page] men▪ and quiet of the common wealth, and peace of the Churche, and liuings of the Church, and Churches themselues: and the rewards of learning, and places of learning, and degrees of learning, and learning it selfe: and the lawes of the land, and the authoritie of the Prince, and last of all (for what can be lefte after for the Diuell himselfe) sacra­ments, Ministers, praiers, yea the Lordes praier; and so set their brasen faces against heauen, and bend their forces against the Lord himselfe. For they are not onelie now come to shoote at rouers, and seeke out at e­uerie bowte a newe marke; but begin as fast as they can, (leauing the obscurer hobbs that first they began with, to shoote a maine for the vpshot, at the fairest markes of all. Martins Cards. They are now in hande to shuffle the Cardes (as ill as they will seeme to loue them) and to confounde all, to amende their badde games, hauing neuer a good Carde in their handes, and leauing the auncient game of [Page] England ( Trumpe) where euerie coate, and sute are sorted in their degree, are run­ning to their Ruffe where the greatest sorte of the sute carrieth away the game: and to their Mawe, where the fiue fingers is a carde of great strength, and though the King and the Queene bee in the decke; yet the knaue must commande all and beare the swaie. Martins Dice. And that thou maist knowe them to bee good Dicers, too; when their Dice are fo cunninglie coggd: as though they cast Sinnes for the moste parte, yet they maie in the end with a tripsie Tray, carrie all a­waie smoothe; and come once to the sweepe­stake, and make a bare boorde, and howe they meane than to proceede (if they passe) shall bee a Mumchaunce for mee; that are like (as wiser heads no doubte doo see) to hazard all. For then the Dice are like to rule all; bee the caster neuer so cun­ning, and his heape neuer so great before him. VVhich point perhappes they will carrie [Page] the cleanlier, couering it with this cloke that (as they pretend in other matters of lesse mo­ment by them) to reduce all to the precise forme of the Primitiue Church; so for this matter especiallie, they being as it were our newe Apostles (and verie Apostolique are their writings no doubte, and their pistles sa­uoureth much of the phrase of the Apostles epistles) all must be sold, and brought to their feete; that they may set their feete, on the highest head. For this generation is like the Iuie, that from the roote groweth vp, and roundeth it selfe, as it were for pure loue; a­bout the Elme, and neuer leaueth to creepe vp, till it [...]ath aduanced it self to the highest of all, and suckt out the sappe cleane, and dri­ed it vp. The greene leaues make a faire and a glorious shewe, but in the end, when it hath clunged close, and climbed aloft, it marreth al both top and trunke.

Thus haue I shewed thee (gentle Reader) a short sight of Martins schoole the degrees of his formes, the summe of his lessons, and the [Page] drift, both of the master and schollers: and for so much as, the olde Martin is dead, (as streight thou shalt heare) were it not that we are bound rather, for the quiet of the Church, and safetie of the state, as well to wish the vt­ter extirpation of al such vntractable and se­ditious scisme sowers, as to worke withall, by all orderlie meanes we may, to effect the same in time conuenient, before it bee growne to so great a head, as will trouble the wisest heads, and the highest head perhapps to help it: wee might otherwise praie, with the old woman of Siracusa for the good health and wellfare, Martin must be prayed for. of these two yong Slipps his sonnes, least after them come out vnto vs, the great diuell their grand master Beelzebub himselfe, whose next forerunner, out of all doubt this race of Martins is.

And these are the yonkers that wee now vndertake; The Mar­tins are all­most be­come banc [...]rupts. the olde Martins reuerend sonne and heire, and his worshipfull Brother; who being both but newelie come to their Fa­thers lands and goods, (I meane his good and [Page] are ful of them, and therefore can make no one forme of themselues. And this also, with ma­nie other as materiall points, shall in the next at large be proued.

These fellowes, Martin an­swereth no­thing but with whoopes and haloes. haue heretofore been an­swered to their chiefest matters (which God knoweth were both fewe and friuolous) by [...] of the best sorte, (an vnfit match for these of the basest baggagerie) both grauelie, and learnedly. But as the Ape, the more sage­lie you looke on him, the more he grinneth; and [...] substantiallie you reason [...] him, the lesse he vnderstandeth: so these Panions, scorning all modestie, and reiecting [...], delight in nothing, but in their most miserable vaine, of resting and foolerie.

It is therefore thought the best way (for experience and time tries al things) and some wisemen wer [...] before of that Iudgement, The best way of an­swering Martin. and the wise man himself dooth so aduise vs, and Martin the foole himselfe is of the same opi­nion, to answere the foole [...], according to their [...]. For I haue here at this time one­lie [Page] plaied with their foolish coxecombe; pur­posing in my next, to decipher their knauish head also: and when they shall put off their fooles coate, and leaue snapping of their wod­den dagger, and betake themselues to a sobe­rer kinde of reasoning, (which will bee verie hard for such vices to doo) to accept of their glorious gloue. Till then; wee will returne them the Cuffe, in stead of the gloue, and hisse the fooles from off the stage, as the readiest meanes to out-face them; though (besides that they hide their heads) they be most impudent, and canot blush. For what face soeuer they set on the matter, these Iigges and Rimes, haue nipt the father in the head & kild him cleane, seeing that hee is ouertaken in his owne foo­lerie. Martin the vice con­damneth the Plaiers Eigulus, si­gulum. And this hath made the yong youthes his sonnes, to chafe and fret aboue measure, e­speciallie with the Plaiers, (their betters in all respects, both in wit, and honestie) whom sauing their liueries (for indeede they are hir Maiesties men, and these not so much as hir good subiects) they call Rogues for play­ing [Page] their enterludes, and Asses for trauelling all daie for a pennie; not remembring that both they, The Mar­tins right roges. & their Father, playing the fooles without any liuerie, are roges indeed, by the lawes of this land; and that for nothing, now two yeares together; are the veriest Asses of all the rest.

And yet shalt thou finde (good Reader) in this iesting with him, (but especiallie in the next) that the foole is bobbd withall in good earnest, and that he is proued a plaine Hermaphrodite, Martin an Herma­phrodite. that is both a foolish knaue, and a knauish foole also; and the veriest foole in the world, if he be not as very a knaue with­all, may soone see, to what passe, both religion, & the state would shortlie come, if Mad Mar­tin, & his mates marrings, and his sonnes shiftings, might by such as are of might, (which the GOD of all might forefend) bee made account of.

These iests, that now we deale withal, are partlie the old mans monuments; but especial­lie the elder sonnes censure, and the yongers [Page] Theses. The occasi­on of this worthie work. The first occasion indeed, grew of this latter, published by the dawling Martin Iuni­or, by meanes (as himselfe saith) of certaine maimed, and imperfect Articles, The death of Martin the great. which he found dropt out of some mans (belike the hangmans) budget, Mar. the Iu. in Thes. in the con­clusion. (whereof you shall heare more in the next) wherein hee imagineth his Father (whose articles they were) to be dead; Martin Sen. in cens. & that the elder saith also he cā not gaine­fay; which is the grounde work and foundati­on, of our building, here for this time. VVhat hee omitted I haue supplied; touching the cause of his death, and manner of his buriall; for that I would be lothe so memorable mat­ters, should be buried with him, (which is but an Introduction to other matters that short­lie shall followe, & sit somewhat neerer them; His [...]iuerie & Modells. vpon the truth wherof thou maist much better build I wis, then vpon their fond & phroene­tical fancies; wherupon they would haue thee, (if thou were so wise) to found thy faith.

To conclude; marke Martins life, and his proceedings; and thou wilt saie, his death, and [Page] [...] [Page] [...] [Page] funeralls were answerable vnto it. And since he is dead: let him bee buried also, in thy con­ceit, and so let his vaine works, together with his remembrance, lie still (as he dooth) and [...] as carrion. And as for these yong Mar­tins, both the one, and the other, and all the broode of such beastlie bratts; assure thy self, they are not long liued: that in the noses of all, that are not stuft to much with the Pose of preiudice, but can smell any thing in the worlde: do euen now, stinke aboue the ground aliue. Fare well, And if thou wilt fare well in­deede: Beware of Martin.

¶A true report of the death and buriall of Martin Mar-prelate.

‘Incipit faeliciter.’

GOod newes to England. Olde Martin the Marre-all is dead and buried. Hee telleth you the tale that knoweth it to bee true. I pray GOD neuer worse newes come either to Court, or Coun­trie, and all good people say, Amen.

You long (I know) to heare the cause, and man­ner of his death, whose life and doings were so in­famous; and many (I doubt not) will thinke, (and probablie too) that it should bee in reason some strange, and violent death, that is befalne him; that was so monstrous and immoderate in all his pro­ceedings; and that either in the fire, water, or ayre, that so troubled the earth while he liued vpon it. The verie truth I will tell you (for pitie it were to belie the dead) from point to point, without alte­ring [Page] so much as a pinnes point, as neere as my me­moric will giue me leaue, and therefore listen.

Many are the reports scattered abroad of both, Sundrie re­ports of Mar­tins death. (as commonly in such great accidents is accusto­med) and all false. Some say hee was taken by the Spaniards, and burnt in the Groyne, and they that report so, say that hee brought the cause thereof from hence with him, not for religion, but some other causes that now I omit. Some, that he was hanged by his owne companie at Lisbone for a mu­t [...]nie, which was verie likelie to haue been true al­so, that euer was giuen to factions and mutinies, while he liued here. Some, that comming thence, hauing before ouerdronke himselfe with the hot wines of those Countries (which he could not but loue wel, being so seldome sober for the most part as he was) he died of a surfet, and was throwne o­uer boord, & so was double drowned both with­in and without. Some, that riding in his visitation his horse stumbled, and he brake his necke which other some say, was in some other sort, as that hee wandring to that purpose in the manner of a Gip­son, for that he would not bee knowne, was taken, and trust vp for a roge, and that onelie knowne to his companions. Indeede, I denie not, anie one of these happes were likelie enough to haue befalne him, and not without his iust deserts: and most men say, it was well enough, which way soeuer of these hee ended, and worse (if worse might bee). Howbeit, it was not that so well, as they do ween [Page] for, (being perhappes reserued for his two sonnes hereafter) but neither better nor worse than I will tell you.

Martin Iunior his sonne, who knoweth the truth as no man better, yet loath to haue it publi­shed, for that it toucheth his, and his friends credite verie neerelie; seeketh to shadowe it, with other some-saies: and that you may knowe him to be no bastard, (though perhappes yet base begotten, for euen at this Age he doubteth who was his Father, Martin Iu. in conclus. and therefore must we take him to bee terrae filius) not so much as one word true.

Some saie (quoth he) that he died at the Groyne in seruice of her Maiestie and his Countrie. Martin Se­nior in cen­sur. But what saith Martin Senior his sonne and heire, and this mans brother to that? He die at the Groyne: nay heele be han­ged, erthe die there. Loe Martin Iunior, your bigger brother (besides the reuerend remembrance of his, deare Father) giues ye the flat lie; for that he died not there. And no maruaile. For he neuer liued in the seruice of her Maiestie, and therefore who wil beleeue he died in it? He neuer carried so good a mind to his Prince and Countrie, faithfullie to fight for it, that would so spitefullie write against it, and seeke so wickedlie to vndermine it; whose ouer­throwe he sought (in his kinde) at home as hotlie, with his shot of inke & paper, as the master of the Groyne did abroad, with his of powder and pellet. And therefore say no more so ( Petrie Martin) no man will beleeue it: neither haue Those others (you [Page] talke of, Martin Iu. in Thes. in the conclus. ( The man in the moone belike, and the carter of Charles waine) any iust Motiues, inducing them to be of that minde. Indeed there died many an ho­nester man, and much more profitable members of the Common wealth (the greater though our griefe yet their glorie that valiantlie triumphed o­uer their cowardlie enemies, and constantly ren­dred their liues in their Princes & countries seruice, which none of you all will euer either liue or dye in); and if Martin your father & you two Martins his sonnes, and your mates, had excused them; it had been a great good turne, both for the Prince and countrie; especiallie there, where one trouble State might haue plaied vpon another, and so a good riddance made of both together.

After this, as knowing himselfe how ridiculous a suppose that is he requireth in scorne, of his N [...]n­kaes the BB. (see how like the old Ape this young Munkey pattereth) whether they haue not el [...]selie Martin Iu. in Thes. murdered the Gentleman in some of their Prisons and strangled him) knowing him to haue kept himselfe farre enough from their fingers, as these youthes themselues minding to be neither valiant Martins (though they like lustie Martins talke so much of venturing their liues in the quarrel, & vaunt them selues to bee the best subiects of the Realme, nor con­stant confessors, though they bragge so much of the goodnes of their cause, which they gloriouslie guild with the fl [...]nting phrase of Sinceritie, and damme others to the deepe pit of hell for not ad­uancing it) doo, and wil doo, I warrant them, (and [Page] they be not caught in the snatch against their will) for feare of a Lambathisme; Martin dares [...] not land in his likenes at La [...]beth staiers. which of all things in the world they cannot abide.

Howbeit pretie youth, I must needes confesse the Tippet you talke of (as il as he loues them) was verie due vnto thē, (though a much meaner man, than any of those might haue fitted his neck with­all) and you his sonne & your faire brother with­all, as good a gentleman as he, may liue to enioy it, and that as your right by course of lawe, being a portion of the inheritance, that your father l [...]ft vn­to you. But it seemeth your father was not borne vnto it, for that he died not possessed of it ( the more is the pitie) but purchased it since, belike by his owne penie.

Or haue you not giuen him ( quoth Martin the Medium) an Italian figge? n [...] no Matt. Martin Iu. in Thes. That's a Ma­chiuillian tricke; and some of your mates are bet­ter acquainted with it. Martin might die of figges but not of rea­sons. Marie for al sorts of Figges I will not sweare, let them enquire it; for Martin was a great surfeter.

Or haue you not choaked him with a fat Prebend or two? His sonnes may be cho­ked with le [...] cost. Much les good Sir, that were a death for an honest man; neither is there any one of all your crue, that would not be glad to die that death: but it will not be, except you will be enstald in a hem­pen whood, (for you loue neither silke nor mini­uer) and of that condition (yong Martin) I dare as­sure thee foure; and thy elder brother (as reason is) double the number, for double fee [...].

[Page] But to leaue thy flim flam tales, and loytering lies (that canst doo no other if a man should hang thee) the trueth is this; which my little Martin knoweth as well as I, and you that are old Martins friends, report it of my word; for it is as true as steele.

After that old Martin, The true manner of old Martins death. hauing taken a most des­perate cause in hand, as the troubling of the State, and ouerthrowe of the Church, (both which at­tempts at once, Alexander the Copper Smith, that did Paule so much harme, would neuer haue aduen­tured; nor Herostratus, that burned Dianas temple, by many degrees came neere vnto) and being ther­fore (and well worthie) sundrie waies verie curst­lie handled; as first drie beaten, T. C. & therby his bones broken, A whip for an Ape. then whipt that made him winse, then wormd and launced, that he tooke verie grieuous­lie, The Theater. to be made a Maygame vpon the Stage, and so bangd, both with prose and rime on euerie side, as he knewe not which way to turne himselfe, and at length cleane Marde: Marre-martin. the griefe whereof vext him out of all crie; and that if he were taken, it was to be feared he should be made a Bishop (of the fields) which name he neuer loued, and to weare a tippet, that he euer detested: but especiallie being drawne so drie (so as he could say no more,) Martin Iu. in conclus. wher­by his radicall moisture began to faile him, and his vitall powers in such sort to decaie, as he saw that he could not long continue; but especiallie, that his labours being so great, tooke none effect, but [Page] was termed, by some a Vice, by some a Viper, This Period Martin is long, but it contai­neth great store of neces­sarie matter, and therefore you must beare with it. by some a Scismatique, by some a Traitor; and that e­uerie stage Plaier made a iest of him, and put him cleane out of countenance, yea his owne familiars disdained to acknowledge him, and so had both frends and foes, both good & bad, euen the whole realme (saue a fewe of his faction) that cried out shame vpon him (hauing besides of olde as manie diseases as an horse both HH's and PPé's that had time out of minde possest him, albeit he bare it out long with a lustie courage): the old gentleman be­gan at the length, (being discouraged in his cour­ses) to droope (as sorowe and shame tameth both man and beast) and to mislike himselfe (for he ter­meth himselfe vnwise, Martin Iu. in Thes, In the Pro­eme. that is to say, a Noddie for medling with it) and through meere mellanchollie fell into a feauer ( lurdaine) whereby hee grewe so costiue, In conclus. Martin cos­tiue. as nothing came from him in three or foure moneths space. And so hauing taken his bedde, he fent for his Phisitions, (whereof hee had some choyce) that knewe verie well the constitution of his bodie, (though not so fit to see into a water) who albeit at the first touch of the pulse, Martins Phi­sitions. that went verie disordredly, perceiued that he was past cure: yet loath to loose so profitable a member to their commensing common wealth, they ministred to him a potion, Martin Iu. in concl. No such pilles as Praehends. ( for pilles he could swallow downe none) whereby (as it falleth out with such as are long bound) he voyded certaine vncertaine and imper­fect Articles for a farewell to Booke making: Ibidem. but af­terwards [Page] when they perceiued that the force ther­of wrought so stronglie vpon him, as that it purged away all the conscience, wit, and honestie he had; and that Purgarentur ea, Ibidem. quae purgari non oportuit (a dead­lie signe, grounded vponan vndoubted maxime of their Phisick) they came vnto him, & with teares in their eyes, told him that there was no way with him but one; and therefore wisht him to set his worldlie affaires in order, The [...] resolution of Martins death. that no controuersie might growe amongst his, after he was gone.

Wherewith Martin, Martins an­swere to the Phisitions. fetching a deepe sigh: Nay (quoth he) do what I will, I may not hope for that, vnlikelie it is, that I should make peace after my death, that did naught els but make bate while I was aliue. And withall, calling his sonnes (these two scapethrifts to him, who like a couple of good and vertuous Babes stood grinning all the while, as glad they should enioye their fathers Pa­trimonie, and bee chiefe Martins themselues) and wringing the elder by the hande, with another great sigh, said to them as followeth.

Oh my sonnes: I see my doings, Martins o­ratiō at his death to his two sonnes. and my course misli­ked of many, both the good, and the bad; though also I haue fauourers of both sorts) marie verie fewe of the good indeede). The Bishops and their traine, Martin Iu. in Thes. In the Pro­ëme. though they stumble at the cause; yet especially mislike my man­ner of writing. Those whom foolishly men call Puri­tanes, like the matter I haue handled; but the forme they cannot brooke: His fathers own words. so that herein, I haue them both for mine aduersaries. And vnwise I was, I confesse, to vn­dertake [Page] the matter. And not onelie that, but (which much more grieueth mee) I perceiue that euerie stage plaier, The causes of old Martins sicknes, sorow and shame. if he play the foole but two houres to­gether, hath somewhat for his labour: and I that haue taken as great paines, as the veriest foole of them, haue trauailed with my toyes, now these two yeares, and gained nothing, saue that I haue gotten many thousand eye witnesses of my witles and pitifull conceites, Martin Iu. in conclus. Martin Se­nior in worke for C. and ameuerie where noted for an ignominious foole and dig [...]ised Asse.

I had thought that my works sauced with those i [...]sts would haue had both speedier accesse to the greater States, The great states be­holding to Mar. that think their graue heads cannot be mooued to weightie matters but by iests. and better successe with the common people; for the humors of men in these daies, especiallie those that are in any place are giuen thereto. But sure I was de­ceiued: The one, are wise, and like of no such foo­leries: & the other, now wearie of our stale mi [...]th, that for a penie, may haue farre better by oddes at the Theater and Curtaine, and any blind playing house euerie day.

These things with other which I wil keepe to my selfe, that more neerely touch my conceite (for my conscience alas is purged and gone) to tell you the plaine trueth, haue broken my heart, and I am now no man of this world: which I must tell you in counsell, I take in good part, for that in verie deed, Martin feared a shrewd turne. I feared a worse turne: that if you my sonnes take not the better heed, may happe befall you.

And though I can scarse speake any more: yet will I straine my selfe, to vse a fewe words vnto [Page] you (for that none but you & our friends be here) which receiue from me with good regard, as you tender the stuffing of your doublet coller, being your fathers last farewel; that may doo you good, if you haue the wit, or grace (which I much doubt) to marke them well.

Three things there are (my sonnes) that were my bane, Three causes of Martins death. and whereby (which grieueth me most of al) I did greatest hurt to the cause I vndertooke, and most grieuouslie offended, both God, and the world.

The first was my foolerie; 1 Foolerie. vnfit (in truth) for the matter I handled. For though I knowe iesting is lawfull e [...]en in the greatest matters, Martin Senior in work for C. and that the Lord is she author both of mirth and grauitie, yet after that some of our companions, had dealt sagelie in the cause, and gained good credite with some of some sort; in lept I (like a woodcocke I must confesse). with twatling tales, Martin Se­nior in his Pistle and worke for C. and Epi­tome. of Sir Iefries Aletub; and of Ganmer Gurtons needle; and of beefe and brues; and rubbing of boules; and cus [...]ins, and liuerie coates; and leadeu shooing hornes, and woodden daggers, and [...]xe­combes, and such like tr [...]mperies: with my fond phrases of parsous, Fukars, and Currats, Confocation house, Paltripolitanes: so, ho, how, h [...]: h [...]: Tse, Tse, Tse: The quin­tescence of Martins wit. whoop and hall [...]we: fleering, leering, ieeringe and such paltrie peering (that I am now ashamed to talke of) in my Epistle: and in my worke for Cooper, Py, hy, be, hold my cloake some bodie: I wil so bumseage him; and the foolish tales of the King of M [...]ie at H [...]ct [...]de; [Page] and the boy with the red cappe there: and such other twittle twattles; that indeede I had learned in Ale­houses, and at the Theater of Lanam and his fel­lowes; and in one houre ouerthrewe, what the wiser sort had been working, and with heaue and shooue, had reared vp and set on end, many yeares before. Martin mard all with his foolerie. And therefore my sonnes beware of that. The woodden dagger may not bee worne at the backe, where S. Paules fword, hangs by the side: neither can he well finde fault with the corner cap; that weareth the furd night cappe on his head, Martins war­drop, a wood­den dagger & furd night cap. as I did. These gambols (my sonnes) are implements for the Stage, and beseeme Iesters, and Plaiers, but are not fit for Church plotters, nor common wealth casters, such as wee are: which I must now con­fesse was one my foule errors. And therefore (my good sonnes) auoide it, as you tender the ser­uice you haue in hand; and hope one day, to sit a­lost in your long wished for Consistorie, amongst your lay Lordings, which your father hath lost for euer, through his foolerie.

The next meanes of my miserie, was my Ri­baudrie. 2 Ribaudrie. An homelie terme (speciallie of my selfe) but it is now no time to dissemble; and I wil con­ceale nothing, that may tend to your instruction; whom I would faine bring to some wit & grace, if it might be, which I could neuer yet doo. And herein I must confesse, I called them, Asses and Old Martin throughout all his workes. Dunces; that I knewe farre better schollers than my selfe. I noted small faults in them, as bowling, [Page] and by my faith, Martin Sen. in his Pistle. and such other trifles: and knew farre greater in my selfe, and my purest brethren. Wherein, my part (I confesse) had been, first pri­uatelie to haue warned them: whereas now, I haue both broken the rule of the Gospell, and gi­uen the enemies cause to speake eurill of the Gos­pell, which I cannot denic, they soundly preach. I haue most intemperatly, raised against them, with most shamefull and vnseemelie termes, The flowre of Martins sweet phrases. as Swinish, and Antichristian rable, proude, popish, presumptuous, prophane, paltri [...], pestilent, and pernicious Prelates, wainscot faces, Doltes, Asses, Beastes, Patches, knaues, kaitiues, lewd swagges, ambicious wretches, and many other like most filthie phrases, which now grie, ueth me to the very heart to thinke of, fitter (I con­fesse) for Bedlem, than for our pretended puritie. Wherein, Martin now seeth himselfe in his owne [...]lasse. I haue not spared (the more knaue I) (and with that he strake himselfe on the breast) such as her Maiestie hath made speciall choise of, for her Counsell; whereby also, I hindered our cause more at that time, than I did foresee: and therein to be plaine, I shewed my selfe the greatest Asse of all. A Macheuil­lein tricke of the Martinists yet in practise. Againe (which worse was) manie of them I slandered against mine owne knowledge; & thought it enough, if I might but deuise against them the vilest things of the world, to bring them in hatred with the credulous multitude: (a di [...]el­lish tricke, my sonnes, which I learned in Machi­uell, Old Martin in his [...] &c. but take heede of it for it asketh vengeance). As some to be Papists, whom I knew to be sound [Page] Protestants: some to fauour the Spaniards, who I knewe detested them: Some to bee traitors, who my conscience tolde me were good subiects: yea (if I should speake the truth and shame the diuell) farre better than my selfe: whereby what I lost, you may consider of; but gained naught els, saue that, which commonlie liers doo; which was, when I spake the trueth, no man would beleeue me, no not the veriest kennell raker, nor vilest ras­call that was in a countrie, except hee were of our crue; The greatest part of Mar­tins thousands are such. of which sort indeede, wee haue no small store. But sonnes, let these fewe words serue here­in: for I am wearie of this rehearsall, that hath been the verie knife to cut my throte: and there­fore (and you bee wise) see that no such sharpe stuffe, doo passe your weesell. And the best (when all is done) is to mend our selues; Martin Iu. in Thes. In the prome old Martins owne words. that the Lord knoweth haue the greatest need thereof, euen of all others, the best of vs, be they neuer so bad.

The third, and last meanes that hath brought 3 me to my last end, was worst of all; and that was (woe is mee therefore) my Blasphemie. Blasphemie. For bee­ing once entered into the vicelike vaine of foole­rie; and making no respect of men: I was caried most wickedlie, like a wretch as I was, in a scorne against the saincts: of GOD, the Scrip­ture of GOD, and GOD himselfe. I called mine owne mates, Sainsts; and his Saincts Sirs: where­in I spared, In his holie Pistle. neither Dauid, nor Peter, nor Paule, no nor the blessed mother of Christ her selfe: [Page] oh vile varlet that I was, (and therewith he whim­pered and put finger in the eye, which was some signe of grace) whom the spirit of God himselfe said, Martin mocks the Saincts. speaking within her, that all generations should still call blessed. Preserreth his owne Saincts. For she is blessed, and a glorious Sainct: and I a shamefull wretch, and most mise­rable miscreant. Yea the Scriptures themselues, I made a mocke of: Iesteth with the Scriptures. for to a text of S. Peter, I tacked on a blind iest, of the Bishop of Rochesters benefice: and made a fooles motley of it, like a prophane & blas­phemous kaitife as I was: whereby I mooued all sorts of people, In his Lucian­like Pistle. that professed any religion, to de­test & condemne me for a most manifest Atheist: of which humour, I feare, many of our hottest fa­uorites be.

But let that rest: and let them looke to it them­selues, and others, whom it concernes: and to end with you, of whom I haue greatest care (being the liuelie image of my selfe whom I must leaue be­hinde me that may continue the memorie of our house): this is the short & the long, and the somme of all. Auoide these three rockes, whereon your father hath made his shipwracke: Foolerie, Ribau­drie, and Blasphemi [...]. Be quiet at home; wee haue troubles enough abroad. It is no time now to play the fooles: Wise men in­deed care for no [...]ooles. wise mens heads are occupied about great matters, & they haue better meanes to make them merie. And touching the matter you striue for, Martins mark. take heede what you do: you shoot at Church liuings; you hope to haue the spoyle. See what [Page] hath come by it in Scotland: Forsee what will be­come of it here: forget not the last partition. Omnia in aduersum spectantia, nulla retrorsum. Remember the shreddes that fall into the Tailors hell, neuer come backe to couer your backe. (I m [...]ane the clawes of our rauenous brethren) If you play the goose, and lend them a fether to fether their shaft withall, they will shoot you through: Martin plaies the goose. and then will you creake out too late, as hee did, Hei mihi quod propr [...]s pennis pereo. And so will you Sonnes both, like a couple of goosecaps, (if you looke not to it) as your father did, with your own goose quil. Let thē once cut a helme for their hatchet, but of a braunch of you, and they will cut downe all the wood handsmooth: for the which you can blame nothing, but the foolish handle. The Aegle, wat­cheth for Iacke dawe, till he haue broken the shell, Martin like lacke dawe. that he maie runne away with the kernell. So as, though they perswade you to chatter like Pies, yet they wil make right Iacke dawes of you. They will praise you, as the fox did the foolish Crow: and call you faire birds, as white as the driuen snowe, and make you open your mouth to sing, after their pipe, that they may deceiue you of the meate, you haue in your mouth. And when they once haue i [...] they wil then say to you, Nec vocem (stulte) nec men­tem habes. A [...]ue Peri phrasis of Martin. That is, (Martin) you haue plaied the foole for vs, and you shall haue a fooles reward: that is, a flap with a foxe taile: and then shall you be as verie dogbolts, as now the other are dunces, [Page] with them. They will commend you to the skies, as the Woolfe did the Conie, and the Ramme; and say to you, O you are no rauenous beasts; you content your selues with grasse; you eate no flesh; you feed, and clothe others: but at the last, he will eate you both ( quoth Rei [...]old the Foxe who is mine author). Martin the Fa­ther and his two yong­lings. For his two sonnes are; Emptie bellie, and Neuer be full, and himselfe is called Deuoure all. To conclude, (for it is now no time to fiddle out fa­bles, though it bee the fittest learning for your ca­pacities) The beastes you hunt withall, must haue all. And this will bee the end of all, after your hot hunting; So [...] hoc audito abierunt tristes non ausi mu­tire contra lupos. And so I wil end: for these are the things, that haue ended me.

And therewithal, lifting vp himselfe on his pil­lowe, he commanded the elder Martin, to go into his studie, and to fetch his Will, that lay sealed in his deske, A fit Label for a [...]beller. and bound fast with an hempen string: which when he had brought, he commanded to be broken vp, & to be read in their hearing; which was as followeth.

After he had begun with the vsuall stile; Martins Will. next touching his bodie, (for it should seeme he had forgotten his soule: for the partie that heard it told me, he heard no word of it) he would, should not be buried in any Church, The place of his buriall. (especiallie Cathedrall, which euer he detested) Chappell, nor Churchyard; for that they had been prophaned, with supersti­tion: but in some barne, outhouse, or field, (yea ra­ther [Page] ther then faile dunghill) where their priuie pro­phecyings had been vsed; without bell, pompe, or any solemnitie; saue that his friends should mourne for him in gownes, and whoods, of a bright yellowe; the whoods made of a straunge fashion, for no ordinarie thing contented him (be­like with a crest after Hoydens cut) and Minstrells going before him; The manner of his buriall. wherein hee would haue a Hornepipe at any hand, Mourning ap­parell. because he loued that in­strument aboue measure: the rest he referred to their discretion; but a Rebuke, and a Shame, in my opinion, Mastins Mu­sicke. were the fittest fiddles for him. Minister he would haue none to burie him, but his sonne, or some one of his lay brethren, to tumble him in­to the pit. He would not be laid East, and West, (for hee euer went against the haire) but North, His manner of lying. and South: I think because ab Aquilone omne ma­lum; and the South wind euer brings corruption with it. Tomb he would haue none, Graue. (for feare be­like that his disciples finding the monumēt, wold commit some Idola [...]ie to it) nor Epitaph vpon his graue, Inscription. but in some post, or tree, not farre from it, he would haue onelie engrauen; ‘M. M. M.’ Whereby his sonnes say, he meant; ‘Memoriae Martini magni.’ But I thinke rather, this; ‘M [...]nstrum Mundi Martinus.’

[Page] This being thus prouided for, afterwards en­sued his bequestes, Martins Lega­cies. in manner and forme follow­ing.

1 Inprimis, I giue and bequeath, to Martin Senior, my eldest sonne, and Martin Iunior, my younger sonne, His Knauerie and Ribaudr [...]. ioyntlie, al my knauerie, full and whole; to­gether with my Ribaudrie, with my two Man­ners of lying, His two Man­ners of lying and slande­ring. and slandering, annexed thereunto, to be equallie diuided betwixt them: and for want of heires of their bodies, vnlawfullie begotten (or els in this land they are not inheritable) to my heires at large, of the house of Martinisme: requi­ring them to vse it more wiselie, and in other cases than I did.

2 Item, al my foolerie I bequeath to my good friend Lanam; His Foolerie. and his consort, of whom I first had it: which though it bee now outworne and stale, Lanam looke to your Lega­cie. and farre inferiour to his, yet to him it belon­geth of right, and may serue (perhappes) for yong beginners, if it be newe varnisht.

3 Item, my scolding and rayling, I bequeath to my deare Sister, His scolding and rayling. Dame Law. and to her good gossips, of the houshold of Martinisme, & to their heires female for euer.

4 Item, to my [...]ealous brother Wig. I beq [...]ath the Vicarege of S. Pooles; His Vicaredge of S Fooles. And for that I could ne­uer abide nou residents, he shall bee resident there­on, during his life; the Patronage thereof, alwaies reserued to my two Sonnes. Prouided alwaie, that [...]one shall haue [...] but a Martinist; A good pro­uiso. and he not to be [Page] admitted by any Bishop, but by the lay Martinists of the same Parish: wherein I will haue no diffe­rence to be made, betwixt the veriest foole, and wi­sest man; but all men shall haue their voyces indif­ferentlie; because it is a matter that concerneth al, and eueric one particulerlie, of that familie.

Item, I bequeath to my deare cosen P [...]ag. my 5 cradle, swadling cloutes, His Cradle. and cast linnen; for that I heare, he is like to prooue a father of manie chil­dren, whom I doubt not one day he will make all Martinists.

Item, I bequeath to Greenewood, Browne, and 6 Barrow, my good friends, my parrock of ground, lying on the North side of London, His house by London. and abutting vppon three high waies, wherevpon standeth a Cottage, built triangle wise, with the appurrenan­ces; onelie for the terme of their three liues; re­seruing the reuersion thereof, to my two sonnes, and the heires of their bodies as before, Inheritance to the Martinists. and for want thereof, to my heires at large, of the familie of Martinists for euer.

Item, I bequeath to my lay brethren, my works 7 of Machiuell, with my marginall notes, and scho­lies therevpon; His workes of Machiuell. wishing them to peruse, and mark them well, being the verie Thalmud, and Alcoran of all our Martinisme.

Item, I bequeath to all the friends and fauourers 8 of that faction, for a gentle remembrance, a Ring; wherein shall be engrauen, Rings for re­membrance. on the inside; Nitimur inuetitum: and on the outside, St [...]crum plena sunt [Page] omnia: wherein I will haue Waldgrane the Prin­ter, and Cliffe the godlie Cobler, especiallie to bee remembred.

9 Item, I bequeath all my plots, and modells, that I haue drawne, His plots and modells. of Churches, & Common weales, (a matter of great importance) to the number of twelue, for euerie moneth of the yeare one, both for the one and the other, to our chiefe builders, (you knowe their names) to dispose of at their pleasure.

10 Item, touching my Wardrop, I bequeath al my apparell, His Wardrop. equallie to bee distributed betwixt my two sonnes: prouided, that my eldest sonne shall haue my best sute; as Coate, whood, Coxecombe, and bable, and all the rest sutable thereunto.

11 Last of all, I giue and bequeath my affections to Bridewell; His Entralls. my senses to Bedlem; my conditi­ons to Newgate; my heart to the beastes; my bo­wells to the birds; and my bodie at the discretion of my ouerseers: that is, (I say) neither in Church, Churchyard, nor Chappell of ease, nor any place appoynted by order, for that purpose.

12 The rest of all my goods, and Chattels, not be­fore bequeathed, His goods. especiallie my imperfect works, and wast papers, I giue and bequeath to my two Martins, whom ioyndy I make my exequutors, and I appoynt my especiall good friends Prichard and Penrie to bee mine ouerseers; His oue [...]see [...]. and to each of them an Aduouson: To the former of small Wit­tam: and to the other of little Brainford, now in the [Page] possession of Pag. and Wig. for he hath a pluralitie; reseruing the Patronages, and with the conditions as aboue.

And for that I knowe the Ciuilians are not my friends: The prouing of his Will. for in my foolerie I called them See-vil­laines, (which was foolishlie done of me, for they might see vs, as well as others) and that I shal hard­lie haue any thing proued at their hands; and my will being a prerogatiue case, for that my doings are dispersed ouer the whole land, will hard­lie passe with such expedition, as is conuenient: let my exequutors performe the legacies, & let them proue it, or disproue it, at their pleasure. For you may liue to see the day, (if you handle your mat­ters wiselie) which day I hoped my selfe to see, when all willes shall depend of your willes, and come to be proued in your Consistorie.

Witnesses P. T. B. E. M. F. G. K. Witnesses.
Copia vera.

This being done; it was not halfe an houre, Martins death. but he began to faint: and turning about on his left side, hee belked twise: and as my friend Pasquin reporteth verie truelie, the third time he belked out his breath.

[Page] The Phisitians, His Anato­mie. for that they doubted of his dis­ease, though they knewe he wanted no imperfec­tions, would needes haue him cut vp, where they found a wonderfull corrupt carcasse.

His Heart, His Heart. great, yet hollowe; (as before ma­nie gessed) especiallie to the peace of the Church, and quiet of the State. Lungs. His Lungs, huge and made to prate. His Spleen large, Spleene. that made him so game­some. His Gall, Gall. wonderfullie ouerflowen with choller, that made him so testie, & waiward with­all. His Stomacke, Stomacke. full of grosse and salt humors, that procured him that same Caninum appetitum, that he had, and vnquenchable desire, to deuoure all. His Entrailes full of filth, Entrailes notwithstanding he had vttered so much before (marie of late daies in­deede, as you heard, he voided nothing). I passe o­uer the rest, whereof there was not one good part, but all disordered (as hee shewed himselfe aliue) and cleane rotten. Tongue. I had forgotten his Tongue, which was wonderfullie swolne in his mouth; I thinke by reason of his blasphemie.

But when they came to open the Head, Head. (a straunge case) they found no crumme of braine within it.

Wherefore hauing bestowed his bowells in a ditch, (for they might not carie them farther from the place) and fild vp his hungrie bellie (that could neuer be full, Spicing. while he was aliue) with coale dust; for spice they would not bestowe, (his carrion be­ing not worth it) and sawe dust they could haue [Page] none: They wrapt him in a blanket, (like a dogge to bee canuasde) for that all others are lapped in sheetes, Shrude. (and he loued euer to be singuler) and so threwe him vnder boord.

The next night after, His Buriall. (for the horrible stinke thereof, because his bodie was so corrupt) and for that he durst not in his life time bee seene by day, being a night bird; they carried him foorth in the darke; and by reason he died excommunicate, and they might not therefore burie him in Christian buriall, and his will was not to come there in anie wise; they brought him vnawares to a dunghill, Mar. Graue. taking it for a tumpe, since a Tombe might not be had, and there cast him in.

And so, if any man will knowe where Martin lies; let him vnderstand, that he is endunged in the field of Confusion [...] enditched in the pit of Perdition: and cast ouer with the dirt of Derision: and there lieth he; and so I leaue him, with this Catastrophe.

Sic pereant comnes
Martini & Martinistae.

And this is the very truth of Old Martins death, which if the young Martins, or any Martinist of them all denie; I cast him here my Mitten vpon the quarrell.

The true Copie of such Epitaphs as were made by old Martins fu­ [...]otites, and others for him.

YEllout thou earth, and ye two lights of heauen;
Ye Graces three, and Elements foure on hie:
Ye senses fiue, sixe song noates; Sciences seauen,
Eight parts of speach, and Muses nine mourne by:
Weepe our tenne Tribes, with sects tenne times eleu [...]n:
Ring out thy Noone, (O twelue a Clocke) and [...]rie.
But chiefly waile our orders foure and twentie,
Martin is dead, our Master deere and deintie.
Grex Martinistarum.
NOw Martin's dead, the tipe of all our hope:
And that our building leanes, and lies aslope:
If men might hang, when they haue lust thereto,
I knowe for my [...], what I would streight do [...].
ꝙ. Pen.
ARt dead Old Martin? farewell then our schooles,
Martins thy sonnes, are but two paltrie fooles.
ꝙ. Pri.
A Dieu both naule and bristles, now for euer;
The shoe and soale (ah woe is me) must seuer.
Bewaile mine Aule, thy sharpest point is gone.
My bristle's broke, and I am left alone.
Farewell old shoes, thombe stall, and clouting lether,
Martin is done, and we vndone together.
ꝙ. Cliffe the godlie Cobler.
AWay with silke, for I will mourne in sack.
Martin is dead, our newe sect goes to wrack
Come gossips mine, put finger in the eie;
He made vs laugh, but now must make vs crie.
ꝙ. Dame Law.
MY hope once was my old shooes should be sticht,
My thumbesygilt, that were before b [...]pitcht,
Now Martins gon, and laid full deepe in ground;
My gentries lost before it could be found.
ꝙ. Newmanthe Cobler.

Sundrie other Epitaphs his friends haue made for him, but they runne secretlie amongst them, & none may see them, but such as are of that famelie. But these that folow are framed by some frends of theirs that are yet vnknowne, but wish to be bet­ter acquainted with them.

YEE Martin beasts, bewaile this wofull ha [...];
Both Martin Apes, and dronken Martins all;
Martin your mast, alas hath caught a clap,
And Martinisme, with him, is like to fall.
ꝙ. R. M.
FArewell old Martin, and three Ms. with thee;
Mirth, Madnesse, Mischiefe, in the highest degree.
ꝙ. R. C.
THou didst reprooue me, for my doggs of late;
Thy selfe being worse, than any Curre I keepe.
My dogges bite none, but where they iustlie hate:
Thou those, that neuer hurt thee, bitst most deeepe.
[Page] But hadst thou liu'd, my doggs had hun [...]ed thee,
Now thou art dead, all carr [...]on they doo flee.
ꝙ. D. K.
LAment you fooles, ye vices make your moan [...],
Yee Ribaulds, railers, and yee lying lads:
Yee Scismatiques, and Sectaries, each one:
Yee Malcontents and [...]ke ye mutinous swads:
Yee Machiuelists, Athiests, and each mischieuous head:
Bewaile, for Martin your great Captaine's dead.
ꝙ. N. N.
HA, he, tse, tse py, hy, see fortunes wheeles,
So how, Mad Martin hath turnde vp his heeles.
ꝙ. R. L.
London lament, the East, that stickes on sand:
The West, that stands before the statelie hall:
The North, the boure, thats bound with triple hand.
The South, where some at Watring catch a fall,
Newgate, and Bedlem, Clinke, and Bridwell bray,
And ye Crowes crie, for yee haue lost your praye.
ꝙ. R. R.
YOu saie, that Martin at the Groyne was mard;
It was not so, as I for trueth haue hard.
But whether so, or no, it is all one;
A great good turne so bad a beast is gone.
ꝙ. W. T.
MArtin the great, what? rayler, foole, or lier,
Is dead. How? Dround, or burnt, or hangd w [...] he?
No, these are kept for his eld'st scuruie squire
And yonger brat; as you may shortlie see,
ꝙ. T. L.
MArtin denide that Christ went downe to hell:
Yet he himselfe is theher now descended,
Then did he more, than Christ (belike) could well:
But all this doubt shall in this sort be ended:
Christ did descend, and did returne thence too,
Which he cannot, and therefore lesse can doo.
S. I.

The lamentation of the Salt-peeter man.

MArtin I would, long since, thou hadst been dead,
And thy two sonnes faire buried close by thee:
Then had I not by thy faire words been led
To this foule place, that now i [...] happened me:
But were I out; ere shackles I would shake,
Of all your bones gunpowder would I make.

The Authors. Epitaph.

HIc iacet, vt pinus,
Nec Caesar, nec Ninus,
Nec magnus God winus,
Nec Petrus, nec Linus,
Nec plus, nec minus,
Quam clandestinus,
Miser ille Martinus,
Videte singul [...].
O Vos Martinistae
Et Vos Brounistae,
Et Famililouistae,
Et Anabaptistae,
Et omnes sectistae,
Et Machiuelistae,
Et Atheistae,
Quorum dux fuit iste,
Lugete singuli.
At gens Anglorum,
Praesertim verorum,
Nec non, qui morum,
Estis bonorum,
Inimici horum,
Ut est decorum,
Per omne forum,
In soecula soeculorum,
Gaudete singuli.
FINIS.
Qd. MARPHOREVS.

The conclusion to the two young Martins.

ANd now pretie youthes, that your Fathers funerals are ended, we shal haue some nugifriuolous leasure to talke with you; which shall bee doubt you not with speed conue­nient. For as there want not de­sperate Dicks amongst you, to write, and (if opportunity serued) no doubt to work anything, Martin shall not want Antagonists. be it neuer so mischieuous: so are there you shall well knowe it, some Sco [...]uolas that haue vow­ed by all lawfull meanes to remoue, such proude and pestilent Porsennaes, as you, and your mates are, from the desperate seege of our walls. In the meane space, that you may continue your fathers sweet memorie, and good credit, amongst vs; play still the despe­rate, and shame [...]s Swadds as you haue begonn; for you couch your Coddsheads; and your paper cannot blush, nor your selues neither, if you durst shew your faces, being past grace.

Onely, one pretie grace you haue, (speciallie you Sir Martin the More. K.) that if any man anger you (as some did of late, Martins chiefe grace. and more doubt you not will a little better) your Asses heeles, are vp streight, and you winse, Martin learn [...] to climbe gib­be [...]s. as if you had a swarme of Bees behinde you, and you skip vp streight to the top of some gib­bett; where indeed you may be bold (being all tene­ments belonging to your chiefe mansion house) and in the name of another, you play the parte of your owne proper person, which is (as your other brother tels you) as if you should be taken by the Constable, for cutting of a purse; you would by and by crie out, and saie to him; O Sir your nose sitts not right on [Page] your face, which, albeit, it be a pretie theeuish grace: yet you vse that so like a foole to, Two foolish tricks of Mar­tin. as it looseth the grace, that (for want of [...] grace) otherwise it might [...] had For first [...] Wi [...] [...], when you knowe not who bo [...]d you, you strike him that first [...] your foolish head. You are so afraide of Sa­ [...] that you [...] (like a woodcock) [...]ie thing that gird [...] you comes from thence, for that there first began your bane.

And then like a Noddie, because one saith that your workes should passe the waie of all wast writings, The whip for the Ape. you giue him his owne worde againe, and make him Gr [...]me of a close [...], which office if he had (but he leaueth it to such cl [...]anlie ma [...]es as your nowne good selfe) the fees I dare say for him, ( Martin) should bee yours. And because hee tells you of the gallowes, that both you deserue, & cannot but be­fall you: you come in with the fame againe; which shewes you to be but a doltish dunce, and make vs a speach fitting your owne selfe.

But Sirra, see you learne your lesson perfectlie, and haue it without booke ad vnguem, A f [...]iendly ad­monition to Martin Se­nior. when it may stand you in steede, that when you come to your climing, that is vp Newgate, vp Hurdle, vp Holborne, vp Tiburne, vp cart: Martins cli­ming. (as if you follow your rebellious vaine, that shall bee proued, you are like shortlie to doo, if you happen vppon your Salt-peter mans and your two fugitiue printers good luck) and to take re­all, and actuall possession, not of the single gibbe [...], but of the triple trestle, your vndoubted inheritance, that your father left you, which yee reserue (as rea­son is) for your selfe, and your friends as your one­lie Prerogatiue, Martins Pr [...] ­ [...]ogatiue. you may pron [...]unce it perfectlie, to the edifying of your brethren, and make a better [Page] end than you haue done a beginning.

In the meane space wee haue pro [...]ided you steede of a single) a triple Epitaph, (in Martin Seni­ors Epitaph. to bee engrauen, not on your graue (for you will neuer come to the worship, to haue so much as a ditch, or a dunghill, as your Father had to lye in) but in the three postes, of your place Paramount, in worship of the Father, and his two sonnes, which is as followeth.

Who markes the scope whereto
vile Martins words doo tend:
Will saie a rope of right,
must be at last his end.

Vpon the first post.

HEre swinge [...] he,
One of th [...] hree,
Well knowne to be,
rebellious mates.
But this, le [...]d swad,
His match nere had,
No not his dad,
for foe to states.

The second poste.

His heart, in mutinie,
His tongue in blasphemie,
His life in villanie,
was his desire,
By nature an Athiest
By arte a Machiuelist,
In summe a Sathanist,
loe here his hire.

The third poste.

Ye birds of the Skie,
Both Crowe, and pie,
Come, and drawe nie.
behold a feast.
Tiburne your host,
On his triplepost,
Hath made a rost.
and kild a beast.

And so (gentle Martin) much good doo it you: you see your fare for this time, and you are hartelie wel­come. Take this in good parte, the next course shall be prouided for your own [...]ooth, and glutt you better.

Farwell Pasquin, and dispatch.

FINIS.

This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal. The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission.