1. A fantasticke Taylor.

IS a tenth part of the Bom­bast that goes to the s [...]tting forth of a Man; and of himselfe could not subsist, but by being adiunct to the rest of his Regiment. He is commonly the Fore-part or Facing of many Men in the World; when a faire Suit, of his [Page]owne making, and the newest edition, presupposes a Shirt semblable; yet oft­tim [...]s sits neerer the Skinne; so sit, so punctuall, as scarsely admits any shifting Insertion. His Art in Numbers is not much fluent; yet in way of Substraction you may haply finde him dexterious. His dealing consists not much in Weight; but in the Weight of his pres­sing-Iron, vnder whose Tyranny, you shall perceiue no small shrinking. Onely for Measure hee improues himselfe no niggard, but rather cuts out with ouer­plus, and ha's a gift to preserue large Pa­rings to his owne purposes. Hee con­demnes the Reliques of Pride, and other mens superfluities to his Abisse, vnder­bord; whence is no Redemption, saue onely he reserues some Trophees of his Trade, to match pieces of like valuation; indeed as Monuments for his Posterity to make vse of. Hee is a kinde of skip­ing squey-legd Creature, keeps Com­pany with Gentle men, and if you saw [Page]him at my Ladies, you would hold him some Vsher of a Dancing-schoole; as being aptest in sight for a Crosse-Caper. By his clothes you might de [...]me him a Knight; but that, if you v [...]case him, you will finde his S [...]tt [...]n Doublet nought but Fore-sleeues and Brest, the Backe­part Buckeram; his Cloke and Cape of two sorts, his Roses and Garters of my Ladies old Cypres. His fashion is to bring all out of fashion; yet I weares the French were the onely People in the World, & commonly desires to speake that Language aboue all. He vpholds in no Theeuerie to take what is brought, and stretch it forth to his best commodi­tie. His slender skill in Arithmeticke, (ouer and aboue his rules of Addition in a long Bill) has brought him to main­taine this Maxime, that Diuision is most necessarie, and Participation a maine Particle of Thrift. In dead Vacations, he is not idle but oft practiz'd vpon Re­paire, where if a Sixe-foot creature [Page]chance to Perambulate to his Needles Point; at push of Pike hee either foiles, or in his Linsey-Wolsey Prison enfolds them. His discourse is rich and plentifull; the Argument hee treats on, new Pro­iects; and tels stories of the newest, and Deuises your Court-Ladies haue got vp. He promises the Chamber-maid a new shagg-wastcoate to induce her La­dy to that moderne fashion, not in re­spect of his owne gaine; but to shew how well it might become her. Whether he bee in the Bookes of a foolish Citi­zens Wife, or a fantastique Lady is to him alike materiall. If for the one hee make vp Gowne, Peticote, or other gar­ment; hee vowes the Citizens carie a­way now the only fashion from Court-Ladies set off in light colours, gold­lace, &c. If for the other, contrarily hee sweares your Citie Druggs now are not worth a rush; rich Embroyderies, Silkes, Taffaties, &c. are most Lady-like, and in speciall request. He is an Ambo-dex­ter, [Page]or Iacke of all sides, and will needs mend that which God made. He is in this vaine Age much set by, for his qua­litie consists of Inuention, and Translati­on: and can readily shape an Ape into all fashions.

2. A Player,

IS a Volume of various conceits or Epitome of Time, who by his repre­sentation and appearance makes things long past seeme present. He is much like the Compters in Arithmeticke, and may stand one while for a King, another while a Begger, many times as a Mute or Cypher. Sometimes hee represents that which in his Life he scarse practises, to be an honest Man. To the point, hee oft personates a Rorer, and therein comes neerest to himselfe. If his Action prefigure passion, he raues, rages, and protests much by his painted Heauens; [Page]and seemes in the heighth of this fit rea­dy to pull Ioue out of the Garret, where perchance hee lies leaning on his el­bowes, or is imployed to make Squips and Crackers to grace the Play. His Au­dience are often-times Iuducious; but his chiefe Admirers are commonly young wanton Chamber-maids, who are so taken with his posture and gay clothes they neuer come to bee their owne women after. Hee exasperates mens enormities, in publike view; and tels them their faults on the Stage, not as being sorry for them, but rather wishes still hee might finde more occasions to worke on. He is the generall Corrupter of Spirits yet vntainted, inducing them by gradation to much lasciuious depra­uity. He is a Perspicuity of vanity in va­riety; and suggests youth to perpetrate such vices, as otherwise they had haply nere heard of. He is (for the most part) a notable Hypocrite, seeming what he is not, and is indeed what hee seemes not. [Page]And if hee lose one of his fellow Stroules, in the Summer he turnes King of the Gipsies; if not, some great mans protection is a sufficient Warrant for his peregrination, and a meanes to pro­cure him the Towne-Hall; where hee may long exercise his qualitie, with clown-claps of great admiration in a Tone sutable to the large Eares of his Illi­terate Auditorie. Hee is one seldome takes care for old Age; because ill Diet and Disorder, together with a Con­sumption or some worse disease, taken vp in his full Careere; haue onely chal­ked out his Catastrophe but to a Colon: and he scarsely suruiues to his naturall period of dayes.

3. A Country Shoo-maker,

IS one, that seemes to haue some in­sight in Mens dispositions, especially of his ordinary Customers; for he will soon haue the length of your foote to an haire. Hee is not much vnlike some carelesse Prelates; for he sets a smooth face on the vpper Leather, but regards not the Soles slitting. His knowledge is meerely superficiall, and diues much into the Art of excoriation. The But­cher is the Prologue, or first branch of his profit: The Currier the intermedi­um or Chorus: Himselfe with the holpe of his cutting-knife, makes vp the Ca­tastrophe, in Boots, Shooes, Pantofles, &c. Hee is an inueterate enemy to the liues of diuers dumbe beasts, not caring how many are put to slaughter, so their Hides come cheaply to him. His Fox­furre pretending ease by drawing on; is [Page]the truest Embleme of his fraud and [...]ubtilty, intending rather to draw in for [...]is owne profit; and if you watch nar­ [...]owly his insteps in a darke shop; you may characterize him vttering (if not charging) Calfe for Neate. He is a great [...]ormentor of improfitable Cornes in a Common wealth; yet if you intreat him [...]ire, he is mercifull enough, and will at Last giue you ease. Hee is the crooked Toes Iavlor, and oft keepes Chamber- [...]ds so fine in their feete, they halt downe-right. In the Country he alway caries the Reliques of S. Hugh's Bones, [...]ill the hot Sun-shine, conuerts him to Hay-making, or Haruest-worke. In win­ [...]r season you shall by 8 of the clocke, [...]ther finde his nose steeled with a black [...]ot, then his Aule with a Bristle. He is a [...]ruce fellow at a Faire, & vses Truncke [...]ose at a Wake. He pinches more at [...]e groats then any other Trade at two- [...]nce. His skill is very raw in the Ma­ [...]ematicks; yet ha's taught many, be­ing [Page]a while in his Leather prison, to proue weather-wise; and by pricking and shooting of their Cornes perfectly sensi [...]le of stormes ensuing. His greatest enemie is a Rich man with the goute, who neuer weares ought but slippers in all companies. Hee tels you the onely Court fashion is to walke in Bootes, and sweares they are the compleatest orna­ment of legge or foote. His maine feare is a Parliament, lest there might proceed some new addition to the last Act, to thwart his designes, That as Butchers were forbad to sell meat on Sundayes, so he should shooes▪ which if it happen, he vowes neither King nor Begger, shall passe his pinching iurisdiction so long as he vpholds the Trade. Briefly, he i [...] one vses least conscience on Sundayes when if your necessities bring you to hi [...] shop doore, hee will bee sure to rac [...] two pence or a groat more on the prie [...] for comming so vnseasonably. He sing all the Rounds and Catches that Robi [...] [Page] hood had; and the Pinder of Wakefield is commonly the fore-horse of his Te­nor. He deemes good-Ale the onely vp­holder of a cleare voyce, and wishes, that he which loues it not may neuer sing more.

4. A Rope-Maker,

IS the Lobsters Executor, and gets his liuing contrary to all men; he holds by that as a maine end of his liuing, which catching hold on another proues fatall to his destruction; howbeit hee seemes Cowardly, and retires fearefully, as if he were working out his owne De­stinie. He is like some hypocriticall Mi­ser, that lookes toward charitie, and re­tires still to couetousnesse. Or by his po­sture of going back-ward when he looks forward; may claime affinity with the waterman, who rowes one way, yet lookes another. He is the Spider that [Page]spins from about his owne bowels his three-fold web, which may afterward intrap some silly Flies of misfortune. His Boy that sits still turning the wheele; (but for default of grauity) may expresly resemble the old Vsurer turning and winding his money; himselfe the Mo­ney-master or Broker that goes vp and downe, twisting vp the whole estate to his owne Commodity. His wares are of seuerall sizes, some great, some smaller; and the Beadle finds his as sutable to an Whores backe, as the Hangman his to a Theefes necke. His Ancestors surely were Gardiners or Field-keepers, and he deriues his Pedegree from the Hemp­stalke. Hee scarsly knowes his owne Coat-Armes; but may be informed as followeth: On the borders or out-skirts of a faire field Argent, in midst of a three-turning High-way passant, three maie wooden pillars, with crosse banes, in shape of a Triangle, three faire Hemp­stalks vprearing from the foote of those [Page]Pillars, and entwining the body in man­ner of a Vine: then three Collers per­pendicularly descending; with nooses of equall distance. A crosse cheuron of Ca­ble, in the middle and vttermost part, and in the midst of the maine Scutcheon two Beaters with heau'd Beetles. The Crest a large bottome of round platted pack-thred, in shape of a Turkes Tur­bant, and two Porters for the Suppor­ters girt with a Trinodie of Ropes, and alike crossed ouer the shoulders in forme of a Belt. To be serious, hee is a man in­dustrious in his calling, and his backe re­tyring, brings him on more forward in the world. He is the Saylors hope-hold; for he cannot ride safely, without his in­dustry. In fine he is constant to his busi­nesse, and lets not slip his good occasi­ons, till at length the cord of his life vn­twines and hee returnes to his graue, where we leaue him.

5: A Smith,

IS a man principally compos'd of two Elements, Fire and strong Liquor; his dreames are oft Iron bars, Steel-gads Wedges and Thunderbolts, and hee maintaines his Antiquity from Vulcan. He vpholds Warres the onely trade at Sea, and w [...]lfare of the Land, and brags no man can liue without him, deeming it most requisite himselfe should be ma­ter of the Parish, and King of all Pro­fessions; according to the old verse,

By Hammer and hand, all Arts do stand.

Hee is the morning Cocke, and the euening Hogge; for hee alway begins well, and continues in the fire Salaman­der-like, till in the afternoone, when hee comes to his Liquor, and ha's taken his load, can scarse see to driue one naile [Page]right. He is the Horse-Physitian, the Plow-mans right hand, the Sea-mans stay, and the Generals Commander. His Hammer frames speeches to the clouds, so loudly, that he rends the Ayre, teares the Earth, and brings downe the tallest Cedars. He grieues more at the death of a good Gelding, then many men doe at their wiues Funerall. He ha's euer an in­tent to trauell to Peru, to see horses shod with gold; but could neuer get siluer to begin his iourney. He neuer ca­ries enuy in his brest to his Master, but payes an ill turne vpon his Beast. Hee neuer rides with Bootes but when Skimmington keeps Holiday, and then a rusty Sword keeps warme his sides. He is a man most apt at barganing, for hee commonly strikes while the Iron's hot. He is no lesse ingenuous then industri­ous; for he is still hammering on some subiect or other. The greatest harme hee ha's done in the Common wealth, is his puffing of Sea-coale to so high a Price; [Page]for by his ordinary vse, hee ha's raised them to extraordinary rate. His head is oft too heauy for his heeles, for hee dreames of Ringals, Spauins, and Foun­ders, and seemes to haue more skill in this kinde then the best Doctor. He is a well experienc'd Horse-Phlebotomist; and to minister a Drench, ha's his Oxe­horne alwayes in readinesse. He is neuer vnfurnisht of his Bath or Lotium-wa­ter, which has beene euer a most appro­ued r [...]ceipt for the Itch or Scabd hands. He ha's heard Markhams Method twice read ouer; and had Markham but known his secrets hee had rode in his foot-cloth long since. He ha's found out a new de­uise, to make Bi [...]s for Warre-horse, to ore-runne the Enemy; and had hee but coale [...] and Iron gratis, he would make an Iron instrument should charge and dis­charge 500 Muskets with one man. His great Grand-father was an Irish-man, and suckt the blood of beasts; himselfe more English bred and leaues it to the [Page]hogs and dogs. His buckler is a browne Apron, and his weapon a Hammer. He Anuils out his oathes and curses in fury like sparks from a plow-share.

6. A Tobacconist,

IS a man furious, making all smoke a­gaine where hee comes, and doubt­lesse may proue a stout souldier in a Towne where long siege hath made scarsitie of victuals; for hee most com­monly preferres smoke-drinke before smok-meat. At first he is haply brought to vse it, but for fashion-sake, vntill cu­stome make it habituall: His Brain-pan is lined like an old Vsurers Night-cap; and for his Belly, though it make a faire shew outwardly; yet there are many sluttish corners within. The Plurifie, Gout, and other diseases are to him as inseparable, as oppression to an Vsurer, or griping to a Broker. The Recorder, [Page]Flute, Hob [...]ise or any other Pipe the best Musician can inuent, doth yeeld him such content as doth the Tobacco­pipe; or can afford him like Musicke to please his Nostrils; were it the Oaten Reed of that Rurall Shepheard which so sweetly warbl [...]d on the Plaines of of Arcadie. Of all other Countries Eng­land is least beholding to him; for hee prefers Verina, Trinidado, and other bar­barous Parts before it, as being the best Seed-plots of those Drugges hee most affects. In all companies where hee comes, hee is neuer vnfurnish'd of his case of Instruments, which he will bee ready to draw on any occasion for him­selfe or his friend; and hath his stops ready at his singers ends to make his Limbecke burne more feruently, till all be consum'd to ashes. To conclude, he is a man dissolues himselfe in vapors while he liues, and being dead is fit for none but Chirurgions to make vse of. On whom I will bestow this Epitaph.

7. A Cunning woman,

IS the female spawne engendred be­twene a Chyrurgion and a Physici­an, and would seeme to haue skill equal, especially when she meetes with them who either beleeue or admire her. Her proceeding shee neuer tooke in the Schooles; for her learning is more na­turall, and came indeed of her Mother­wit; sodered vp heere and there with some fragments of obseruation gathe­red from gossippings and discourse with others of her societie. Her Ingre­dients (though for seuerall diseases) doe neuer much differ; a few pounded Ca­terpillers, a rosted Bitches marrow, Stauesaker, a little Bores-grease and [Page]Quick-siluer, these are all to a Dramme; of which (with a few simples) shee can temper you a salue for euery sore, and performe as great Cures as euer did Galen or Hypocrates. If it happen she be called into question by Authority, shee (like the Snaile) creeps into her shell, and either hides herselfe out of the way, or else brings in some of her sufficientst Neighbours to testifie for her what great good shee hath done in the Com­mon wealth. After a while that shee is growne thus perfectly cunning to de­ceiue the world by her Physicke; shee haply proceeds further, presuming to professe the Black-Art, and will make you beleeue she ha's the starres at com­mand, and can readily helpe you to any thing you haue lost; prouided you mi­nister something vnto her to finde her selfe. If you would know what shall be­tide you in your affaires, let her but looke in your Hand, or perfectly on your face, her skill is so exquisite in phy­siognomie [Page]or palmistry, shee will easily satisfie your demands without scruple. Shee is first cozen to your Gypsies for Fortune-telling, and can with as much dexterity coozen you of your money, while shee onely pretends obseruing lines in your Palme. In breefe, she is one so seeming skilfull in many things, that indeed she ha's iudgement in nothing; but one that by her iugglyng Im­postures seekes not onely to delude the world, but depraue men of that worthy calling and profession, to whom much honour is due. And so I leaue her, as I finde her, a Subiect vnworthy my fur­ther discourse.

8 A Cobler,

IS a man neuer like to be prefer'd by his worke-manship, for that right terme makes him an excellent worke­man. He resembles most fitly an earth­worme liuing vnder a stall; for he com­monly keepes a little shop vnder a great one. Hee is a fellow so necessary in a Common-wealth, that few can be with­out him; for if any happen to step awry, he is straight ready to set them vpright. Hee is one, though apt enough to take his liquor, farre better then the common drunkard; for he mends euery day, and houre; yet contrary to all, is neuer on the mending hand on Sunday▪ Hee is most commonly a good Singer, good fellow, and a Iolly talker. Hee sleepes more s [...]cure then any man, and neuer feares fire, and like a crooked Crauish, pray s the cleane contrary way: Others pray for faire, he for foule weather. He [Page]brags that himselfe nor none of his were neuer knowne Bankrupts. He sets vp his Trade for six-pence, scarse euer trusts twelue-pence, and can command the best m [...]n in the Towne to stay his leysure. H [...] holds a Smi [...]h, a man most vnnecessary in a Common-wealth; it goes to his heart to see an iron-heele patch, or a hobnayle shooe. He is much vext at the vent of Sparrow-bils, and can as ill away with f [...]shion of woodden Clamps, as being maine obstacles to his profession. He should by some appea­rances seeme an excellent linguist, for he his much inur'd with Translation. His Thumbe and his Tongue are the best Instruments hee makes vse of, and the more hee employes them, the better his wife is pleased, and the Consort more tunable. In fine he is a stubbed fellow well bristled, and being arm'd with a welsh-hook'd knife, or sharpe semite [...], rips vp before you many old matters, and brings Aule at Last to his own ends.

9. A Tooth-drawer,

IS a man highly fain'd for his Art; for he got it beyond the Seas, as by La­bels at his doore may appeare. As thus: Know all gentlemen, that I Signior or Mounsieur such a one, after long tra­uaile, and greet experience in forraigne parts, beyond the Seas, haue industri­ously attained many rare secrets, viz. To draw Teeth, set in New, mundifie or make blacke Teeth white, rid the gummes, or take away the paine with­out drawing; nor doth hee rest heere, but if need require professes the Cure of many other diseases, as Cramp, Convulsions, Gouts, Palsies, Catars, &c. And can tell them at first sight, if they be curable or not. Howbeit, this superfi­ciall view must bring him some feeling, else he is not well pleased. His businesse is neuer perform'd in so much State, as [Page]when he is mounted vpon his Palfrey or Irish Hobby, riding through the high streets of the City, like Caesar in his Triumph, his Clyents following him laying their hands on their mouthes, as though they would keepe silence, till paine makes them roare out, which his horse or he perceiuing, reflects backe on them an eye of ruthfull pitie, straight playes the Constables part to bid them come after him; and hauing felt their pulses, lookes next into their mouthes, to know their age, thrusts in his hand or fingers, and seemes in this posture a Richard Corde-Lyon, diuing to the heart or stump of hollow Teeth. Yet haue I heard he ha's a tricke to conuey an iron punch in a hand-kerchiefe, which oft proue the ieopardy of a iaw to some of his Patients. He is a fellow very capti­ous; for hee is apt to twit you in the Teeth on the least occasion; exceeding desperate, for if you take distaste or finde your selfe agreeu'd, though it bee [Page]but a Tooth-aking, hee is straight ready to draw. He is the mouths Gardiner, that prunes the hedge-rowes of the Teeth, and like a Serg [...]ant military set them in their due Rankes and Files. Those rott [...]n, [...]a [...]ged and corrupt Teeth he ha's drawne from others haue beene the onely meanes to draw in him cu­stomers; and hee preserues them as Trophes of Triumph to dignifie his B [...]nner. At spre [...]ding forth his Flags of affiance, streamer, Pendants, &c. multi­tudes of people commonly assemble; when the Cut-purse spying his best ad­uantage, becomes a great sharer in the worke, and can as nimbly imploy his limetwig-fingers to draw a Purse, as himselfe a Tooth. Of all Trades in the City, he is most beholding to the Com­fit m [...]ker; for hee and his Confections haue beene a great bane to the Teeth, helpt him to much worke, and brought sowre sawce to their sweete meats. To conclude hee is a man onely vs'd at a [Page]pinch; and the vse of his pincers h 's drawne his Patients out of patience. Those that haue once t [...]ide him, hope they shall neuer haue occasion to vse him more. So I leaue him, till paine pricks me to employ him, but desire no further acquaintance of him.

10. A Tinker,

IS a rude rustick ruffe hayr'd Compa­panion, one that seldome walkes with­out a Pike-staffe, a Doxy and a Dogge. He is second cosen to Vulcan, approues his genealogy from Tubal-Cain, rather of Cain then Tubal. His shop is alwayes at his backe, and he gets his liuing by ma­king of holes; for he seldome stops one vnlesse six more beare him Company. He desires most to be a free holder vp­on the Common: his house neuer knew the blacke Bible, but the blacke Pot is his neerest and dearest friend. [Page]His wife hee seldome regards, but makes it the chiefest holiday when hee least sees her. In the summer season he is most frequent to be seene at the Royall Exchange of a Bush or hedge, where he commonly dynes vpon an earthen Ta­ble, in the winter stowes himselfe in some musty Barne. His complexion is sanguine, and he deemes the Barber-no fit member in a Common wealth. His prayers are, The diuell take me, or, God refuse me. In his talke, his full points are curses, and his first line o [...]thes, where af­ter he hath rapped out some twenty or fortie, hee beginnes to sweare, and hee tels you hee is seldome let blood in the face, or his Nose naild on with his wiues fingers. He is one that haunts Wakes and Faires like a spirit, and his Musicke is alwayes a paire of woodden Organs vnder a Peinthouse, or a Crosse which he loues not to see; beside his daily practise of the voyce set and sung to the Tabering on a Ket­tle. [Page]He exclaimes much against Glutto­ny, and wishes euery Butchers shoppe were turned to an Alehouse. He loues not to go vpon Plantages, vnlesse it bee where euery house hath a Brew-house belonging to it. He paies his Land-lords rent with blowes and curses, because his house is not tenantable; for hee'l bring the Doore rather then want fine. Hee holds Banbury to be a place not to bee pitti'd though in neuer so much misery. His heart is as hard as his hammer, his fingers smell like Bird-lime. He thinkes a Knaue, a Drunkard, and a Tinker to be the best Common-wealths men and to make most stirring, of which hee desires he may haue an Inheritance.

11. A Fidler,

IS a Bastard of the Muses; one that by early rising and la [...]e watching scrapes out a poore liuing; for he is wakefull as the Belman, and many times after two or three houres earnest looking vp for reward is c [...]owned with a Pispot. If you would know of any merry mee­ting or Feasting, follow but him, and you cannot misse the way; hee ha's still the best in elligence of them all You may perceiue by the Rosemary and Ribbon in his hat where he was the last Sunday, nor can the Clarks booke bet­ter certifie you who was the Bride and Bridesgroome; himselfe being there a man of greatest Request. At any Faire, Wake, May pole rearing, or Whitsun­ale, you shall rarely want his company, but finde him alway in readinesse to bid you welcome; And if haply some ge­nerous [Page]Gentleman lye in his way, hee will not misse to giue him his mornings salutation, be he stranger, or otherwise: he ha's his name or stile as ready in his mouth, as if hee had beene his old ac­quaintance or neerest kinne. His skill by the eare is much in the sounds and dif­ferent tones of musicke, yet stands best affected to the chinking of money. Hee may for his impudence resemble most fitly the Tongue of a Iewes-trumpe; which though oft repulst by the finger, returnes with more eagernesse to his full Twang. His fingers are so pliant to his Instrument, that though hee chance to screw his head backwards into a pot­tle pot, yet forgets not his lesson, but by rote plods forward in his play. His Boy is the sweete singing Birde hung forth at a Tauerne doore next the streete, that proffers his notes to all p [...]ss [...]ngers. He trauerses all Companies, feeds on all sorts of dyet, receiues all mens gratui­ties. If his largesse come off lamely, hee [Page]goes forth of your company with a grand grumble more base then his Viol; If largely, his Kitt and he iogge away merrily together. When hee gets but some Songs or Sonnets patcht vp with Kibaldrie, or enterlarded with any thing against the state, they are maine helps to him, and he will aduenture to sing them though they cost him a whipping for his labour. His head is troubled with many Crotchets, and hee oft striues to straine his strings a note beyond Ela; till many times both cracke together. If he chance to get a Liuery on his backe of some noble personage, he is well worthy your entertainement, and you must pay to his Coate. You cannot anger him worse, then by telling him of the Do­ctors grace, and should you repeat but a line, his melody would conuert to a ma­lady. Yet hee may haply beare out that or any thing, for his quality with com­munity of knocks and rough language, ha's arm'd him for Battry and an Ass­ass [Page]ination. To conclude, he is a man neuer much respected, though some­times acc [...]pted in mens companies: and then better heard then seene.

12. A cunning Horse-Courser,

IS a person so altogether compact of a Country habit, that hee loues not a blacke hat: A skilfull Farrier is his friends enemy. Hee reads Markhams Method, and Banks is his old acquaint­tance. He keeps his best horses in the worst clothes, and his worst Iades bee richest on weeke-dayes. He hath the Racers, Breeds, and Clymats of the best in England; for variety of Barbary, Spanish, English, Flaunders and Irish breed, his race, his hunting, drawing, or all in one if you please. Of his bastard sort the Sire and Damme hee keepes an exact Catalogue, and freely offers to let you haue the triall of him any morning [Page]to Hye-gate; and ten to one hee will spend so much time to ride with you himselfe, where haply his Copers bee before to carry him backe vpon some new bargaine; but ere you get to Lon­don you are catcht in his fet-locks, and he fastens on you a Iade that dare not clim [...] Hye-gate hill. Hee is a man not much affected with Pride, but makes commonly his prauncing serue as a Prologue to his profit He trots, ambles, gallops, rebounds and treads the Mea­sures in all varietie of Paces: hee cir­cumuents Smithfield with curuets, and leaps madly through thicke and thinne, seeming in his full careere, ready to out­strip Pegasus. He keeps at all Faires in Country habits, and the change of his clothes is as frequent as the Moones. He prefers a stout horse before a stub­borne wife, and with more delight ma­nages the one then the other. If a lusty Courser come to his hand, his beast and he must trace the prime streets of the [Page]City; for his visit is Cheap-side, Corn­wall, Watling, street, &c. Being thus mounted, hee beginnes to eleuate his voyce in a lofty Tone set by himself [...], and can speake no other language on his backe but 100. Angels, which oft he should haue beene blest with from such and such a Knight, and this the onely beast that makes him rich, for hee won at least 7 Races in six weekes. What he swears and lyes hee has vouchers for, and the best remedy you can haue, if he proue a Iade, is, that you neuer take him for an honest man. But leaue him as he is, till he mend his manners.

13. Bethlem.

IS a place of rest for restlesse persons, where though many meet and all of one Nation, yet show seuerall conditi­ons. You may haply heare a confused hubbub of contrariety in their spee­ches, [Page]yet many times harpe vpon some­thing that men more sensible then themselues may make [...]se of. It is a place where many a stout heart has beene tamed & brought vnder. Where this house is, scarce any need aske, yet may it in some sort seeme questiona­ble, and this Theame challenge a lar­ger comment then ordinary; for but well consider, and we shall finde many bedlems else-where, as in Court, City, Country, Vniuersity, &c. Are there not Court Bedlems, that conforme them­selues meerely to all formes of new fa­shions, that expend time to raise vp a puffe-paste honour, which as childr [...]ns bubbl [...]s v [...]nish immediate, irr [...]couera­ble, or bring in the catastrophe a dis­gracefull p [...]aecipitation. Citie B [...]dlems that seeming cautelous, proue oft too credulous, and by giuing much credit to others themselues haue none left; or contrary rake and scrape together they know not what for they know not [Page]whom. Country Bedlems that haue sold their Farmes to buy them a Pede­gree, and at last left themselues no Pa­trimony. Vniuersity Bedlems, that haue studied their Maiors, Minors, Antece­dent and Consequent to bee at length concluded Coxecombs. This place therefore is not onely confin'd be­tweene More fields and Bishopsgate­streete, but may proue more ample in extent then the King hath any Land.

14. Ludgate.

IS the maine Prop, or surest vpholder of Ancient Citizens, who are decli­ned from the Nominatiue of credit to the Vocatiue of Caret; hauing multi­plied in O [...]latiue, Substracted in the Ablatiue. The Citie is the circumfe­rence, this the Center, or as the Foxe said by the Furriers shoppe the surest place to meete in. It is a Receptacle of [Page]Complainers against dead vacations, who haue perhaps made vp their cata­strophe in the quick'st Terme. It is the resting place or cares and troubles, a full poyse of misery or safe harbour of ill husbandry. It is a kinde of Inns of Court, where men gather more by ex­perience then study, and haue the Law at their fingers ends. The Keepers in it resemble Ashen trees, bearing fruit, which they turne to no mens profit but their owne; and seeme to haue power to open and shut to all vnder their charge, as those that receiue Keyes from S. Peter: for you shall perceiue them no lesse skilfull in the sounds and stops of each then the most curious and best Musitian. They are men of much cir­cumspection, and looke more warily to their seuerall wards then the cunning'st Fencer, prest to play his Masters-prize. Shortly, it is a house ch [...]ap [...]ier pur­chas'd then kept, and a mans great'st Fine is payd at parting. It is the [Page]Bankrouts bait, which at first he gree­dily swallowes, after is swallowed vp of. The Speed-well neuer winters here, but the Hope-well ha's cast Anchor.

16. Bridewell.

BRides-well, or Bridgets well, is the City Schoole-mistris, that by due correction tames and brings vnder her vnruly obstinate children of both sexes; those that haue dranke, or inde [...]d but throughly tasted of this well, will com­monly euer after bee most cautelous of any relapse to returne thither for a se­cond cure. It is a faire, free, hospitable open house for all commers. The com­plaint of Guests hither inuited or ra­ther incited, seemes quite contrary to that of common Innes, where fault is most found for want of obseruance, the distaste here growing of more fol­lowers then needs: Howbeit their At­tendants, [Page](as persons well deseruing) are men in Liueries, Beadles in Blue­coates, who hold as much land by gi­uing out statute lace, as your Bosomes-Inne Cariers by deliuering cheeses at Christmas: They are ready waiters on your backs on any occasion, and their maine seruice a full satiety of whipping-cheare. They are men not fluent in dis­course, yet captious in your company, much inclined to criticisme, and so Sa­tyricall, that on the le [...]st fault commit­ted they are ready to giue you a Ierke. They much resemble the Momusses of our times, aff [...]cted with the spirit of Detraction; onely in this different, their hands rather then tongues are the greatest Back-biters. Their best exercise is running and driuing at a Carts Taile; where they take as much pride in the posture and practise of their weapon, as a dexterious Fencer before a Compa­ny at Symon and Iude, and are no lesse bountifull and free in the open Markets, then at their owne Hall Table. They [Page]are men of large Commission, exten­tiue in iurisdiction to the vtmost part of their Regiment, euen from the Whore rampant, to the poore Rogue couchant, and are as cunning in conueyances and slights as a Iugler; for hee is no more but Whip, Passe, and Be gon; yet these are neuer out of action. It is an Amster­dammicall Conuenticle, translated on­ly in the Clime; or an hotch-potch of people different in Age, Sexe, Nation, Disposition, not seldome in Religion; yet euery one vses that little conscience he has, so farre as the whip will giue him leaue. Not vnlike the Family of Loue, for they haue here all things in common, which I thinke commonly is little or nothing, vnlesse the Whip, Stocks, or Pillory. You haue here the grand grosse Baud, Prouocatious Pan­der, vngratious Letcher, audacious Whore, vngracious Kaue; rude Ruf­fians, Runnagates, Cheates, Pimps, Nips, Foysts, Decoyes, & multa alia quae nunc, &c. And though it be euery [Page]weeke swept ouer by the Beesome of authority, yet is this muck-hill repleni­shed daily with stuffe of the like kinde. It is a Bee-hiue of Drones, where the good sting them home to the old a­bode, a Pill to purge vagabonds out of the Common-wealth, and a Curry-combe for Hackney whores to reduce them to their pristine reputation; for if after punishment you so chance to call them, they get you on the hip, and haue the Law on their owne sid [...]s. It is a well compacted Common-wealth of workers against their wils, where the awe of the whipstocke confines them to the laborious stroke of the hempe-blocke, and the turning of the wheele a daily Memento of turning ouer a new leafe. It is a bit or bridle for Roaring Boyes that flye out beyond their bounds, or a ciuill gouernment of per­sons in behauiour most vnciuill, where, though many meet roughly all stran­gers, yet here grow calme enough and worke together like neighbours. It is a [Page]Receptacle of Rogues, Ruffians and Runnagates, who neuer serue God but on Saturday mornings, and then call on him but with small deuotion: when the storme is ouer, all is salu'd vp with a sob and a soure face. It is a stepdame to stubborne natures who would neuer bee ruled by their more naturall mo­ther: An Empericke in a diseased cli­mate, that by a skilfull Phlebotomy, with well managing of a small knotted whipcord, ha's preseru'd many from the fare of a hard hempen halter, and clensed both City & Suburbs of much corruption. It may not vnfitly bee ter­med the Trades Increase, or Cities Hope-well, where her stubborne youth are made wieldy, brought vp in handi­craft professions. It is the Reall Ex­change of good houswiues, whither they commonly resort for their Hemp, Flaxe, or Towe, and here finde it ready beaten to their hands by those, who haply thought little to haue come vn­der Iurisdiction of Blocke and Beetle.

[Page]To conclude, it is the latter course of a full Banquet serued in Sallets and sharpe Tarts, or the sowre sauce to the sweet meats of Venery. It is a Diet-drinke most wholesome for a Whore­monger, or a principall receit for the Itch of concupiscence. In fine a free Hospitall for the Remedie of sundry diseases, whither many are brought, vp­on cure purg'd and past away: the lazy Drones from Idlenesse, lewde Letchers from Luxury, vaine vnthrifts from Pro­digalitie, old persons from vildnesse, youth from wildnesse, all if possible to goodnesse▪ Whence if any depart and mend not, an hund [...]ed to one they drop into the Hangmans Budget.

16. New-gate.

IS the old way to an ill Destinie, or the Hye-way to looke through a hempen window. It is the Blacke-dogs [Page]walke of an ill conscience, and the period of a Purloyner. It is the sub­burbs of hell, and not seldome vnder the Iurisdiction of Furies. It is a dange­rous Hellespont, wherein many setting forth are ship wrackt in their iourney. It is a darke Cell of care, and dungeon of despaire, a place that sends all worse forth, and scarse any mend. It is a pro­miscuous rabble of Rogues, Villaines, and Whores, where if once they passe the fiery triall they soone grow master; they loue not to ride, and euer feare the changing of the Moone. All good deeds of charity, they turne to sinne and wickednesse: The Tapsters purse, and the Tobacco-shop is their Treasu­ry, and hee that sweares and drinkes most is of best respect: The stoutest Rogue ha's there most credit, and the cunningst foyst wins best esteeme. All ill is the highest ayme, and he that hath beene longest [...]heeuart is the worst member, keepes the remembrance. [Page]booke and is growne a Schoole-master fit for the Diuell; so absolute a Rogue that hee growes in office to see sinne correct vice. Hee summons Iuries, Iudges, and can tell fortunes to all commers. He has a Title sutable to his disposition, and goes vnder the name of Corporall Craft. Briefly, it is a Cage of vncleane Birds, a Coope of Cony-catchers, and an Abisse of all Abomi­nations.