THE whole estate of mans happines, may easily bee disposed, into the considerati­on of two times; The state of this life present: and the glorie of the life to come. This life being the first, is both the Image to resemble, and the foundation, wherein to lay (or worke) that eternall hap­pines. Neither is there any estate, wherein we may more liuely be­hold, or sensiblie taste and feele, any sparckle or iot of the Lord our God, his eternall loue to vs, then in that vnited estate of man and wife; wherein two persons [Page 2] become but one, Ephes. 5.13. which still are two; and mutually owe to othe [...] seuerall dutie. A double vnion. The vnion where­of, as it is vnspeakeable (where there is (indeede) an holy vnion) so hath it pleased the Lord, not seldome, but often in his word, (and especially in that Song of songs, called Salomons Canticles) vnder the title of an husband, re­ioycing with his wife, to set forth his loue vnto vs, what it is in Christ Iesus. Whose mutuall kindnes, expressed (in that song I meane) in termes, in duties, in wanting each other, in seeking, in sorrowing, in finding, in inioying, in solacing and imbracing, in vnwillingnes to leaue and depart each from other, may well shew the coniunction to be vnspeakeable, betweene man and wife, (rightly conioyned, and yoked equally) and bee a liuely paterne of more heauenly things. Howbeit (I say) it is not in all con­iunctions, that this Image of spi­ritual [Page 3] happines doth appeare; All mariages doe not re­semble heauen­ly happines. for in some, it beareth rather a type of hellish sorrowes, wherein (our Sauiour saith) shall bee weeping and gnashing of teeth, Matth. 25.30. when the iudgement shall bee pronounced vpon the reprobate [Goe away yee cursed ones into euerlasting fire.] Verse 41. E­uen so, where the match is vn­meete, the coniunction vnequall, the vnited in bodie, disunited in spirit, of contrarie affections, harts and religions, duties vnperfor­med, each crossing other, or any of the twaine vnwise that will not bee admonished; what are the fruits there? but wrath, bitternes, contention, controlling, contra­diction, taking all things in the euill parte, ielousie, vpbraiding, discontentment, false dealing, se­cret iuggling, conspiring, wants, without pittying each other, toyle without helping each other; seeking each one his credit with discredit vnto both, with many [Page 4] other as grieuous to be spoken of as any past. All which (no doubt) made Salomon so to speake, Prou. 21.9.19. as his Prouerbes doe beare witnes, namely, that it were better to dwell in the corner of an house top, yea in the wildernesse, most desolate and solitarie: and as ano­ther saith, with dragons & beares, or other cruell beasts, then with the contentious and froward wife. So that (as I said) this Image of Gods loue, and of our eternall and most happie coniunction with Christ, (he the head, and we the members; hee the husband, and we the wife; hee, our welbe­loued one, and we his aswell be­loued) is not to bee found in eue­rie coniunction (as wofull experi­ence giueth cause of complaint to many) but onely in the godly vni­ted match; in the well ordered, and gouerned match. A necessarie caueat. So that, how necessarily doth it behooue them, that would liue perfectlie [Page 5] happie, (by inioying the one, and auoyding the other) to bee instru­cted in the meanes which leade hereunto? that is, seeing this hap­pines is in the right ordering of man and wife themselues, each to­wards other, and then both in the ioynt gouerning of their familie, to know (therefore) both their se­uerall workes, and conioyned du­ties. And whereas I called this e­state before, a foundation, wherein to lay the worke of eternall hap­pines, I spake not without aduise­ment; for that, The Church is the schoole of Gods King­dome. as the Church (ge­nerally) is the schoole of Gods kingdome, a place to make men fit, before they can enioy his king­dome (vnderstanding me of such as come to the state of discretion and iudgement) as also the word of God, is called the Gospell of this kingdome, because that in this life, it fitteth men thereunto; so is euery mans house, (rightlie ordered and gouerned by the [Page 6] rules of godlines) not vniustly, or without cause (by the holy Ghost) called a Church, Rom. 16.5. Reu. 1.6. the Gouernours, Kings, Priests, and Prophets vnto God. Kings to rule, Priests to of­fer sacrifice; and Prophets, to in­struct, or see instructed. The hus­band first and principally, as the head and high Priest; the wife in his absence, or, as vpon iust cause, he shall require her: She openeth her mouth (saith Salomon) with wisedome, Prou. 30.26. and the Law of grace is in her tongue. So likewise did Bath­sheba teach her sonne Salomon: Prou. 30. See the title therof. Lest, whereas the Apostle saith, The wife shall learne at home of her husband, 1. Cor. 14.34. 1. Tim. [...].12. she should thinke her selfe absolutely excused, or freed of this dutie. No, by no meanes may shee thinke it, Vertuous wo­men must teach in the familie. as not being the meanest propertie of the vir­tuous wife.

In all which gouernment, how­soeuer y ^e Church oftentimes doth want the parts and members of [Page 7] her gouernment, by reason wher­of, God is not so honoured, as he should or might; Godly house­holders may haue perfect gouernment. yet is it free to godly housholders, to enioy this gouernment: for, how should God want his orderly worship, morning & euening, week-daies. Lords daies, blessi [...]g and praysing him, with ioy and comelines in a priuate familie, and in the time of the Gospell? or how should there want lawes, ordinances, Euery godly familie, and well ordered, should haue pe­nall lawes for sinne. Gen. 21.9. Gen. 37.41. and sta­tutes, against profaning y ^e Lords day, swearing, drunkennesse, ly­ing, euill speaking, quarrelling, standring, vnchaste speaking, ei­ther for Ishmaels scoffing, or Esaus threatning, where the Gouernors haue the authoritie to hold the sterne, and command for God? except they want care and zeale, for Gods causes, The chief cause why families doe abound in sinne. or hatred against sinne, and regard onely to be ser­ued themselues, and not how God is serued, worshipped or obeyed. In all which consideration, what a [Page 8] foundation of eternall happines is there laide, where there is such an holy & religious care to plant vertue, and supplant vice? to know the Lord, and to haue him serued aright? 1. Cor. 7.22. whose seruice is freedome, and whatsoeuer free­dome besides, is but bondage vn­to Satan.

Note this.Verily it is a great burthen, which gouernours of families doe beare, and their account is great; their families should be churches, wherein God should be hallow­ed, serued, and daily honoured: yea, they should take care, that not only they themselues feare God, (which yet is the least care of too many) but their seruants also; that not onely they themselues be not swearers, or excessiue persons, but not any of their seruants bee knowne to be such. A worthie president whereof is to be found in Dauids rule, Psalm. 101. Psalm. 101. which for his houshold gouerment hee [Page 9] proposed vnto himselfe, vowing vnto God, not onelie himselfe to walke in the midst of his house (that is) before all his familie) with an vpright heart, but that, slander­ers, lyars, A singular pre­sidēt for house­holders. scorners and such deceit­full persons, should not dwell in his house; yea, hee would purge his house betimes (as one of the first workes that he would take in hand) to thrust out all the workers of iniquitie from the citie of the Lord. And then, whom would he plant about him? euen such as were nere Cornelius, Act. 10.7. Psalm. 101.6. such as fea­red God, euen (as Dauid calleth them) the faithfull of the land, they should dwell with him, who so walked in a perfect way hee should serue him. A worthie com­mendation it was vnto that Ro­man Captaine that he feared God with all his household, that is, he kept none that outwardly sub­mitted not himselfe vnto the comely order of his familie; none [Page 10] that was to be attainted with opē crimes, such as the most mens ser­uants are, and especially Gentle­men and great personages, In greatest houses most disorder. as i [...] they had bidden battaile and de­fiance vnto religion and religious order, retaining (in stead thereof) and maintaining withall, all ruffi­an and swaggering persons, wan­ton, and beastly swine, such as may loathe an honest minde to come in companie withall; such families are not Churches but styes for swine; not congregati­ons of Saints, but kennels for snar­ling dogges; yea, euen very hel­hounds, for any manner nourture or true godlines, that is to bee found amongst them. What will these doe when they shall come to account vnto God for their fa­milies? Account for families, which we thinke not of. or doe they not beleeue that they shall account for them? They, that know any thing, as they should know, by the rule of Gods word, doe account it a great bur­then [Page 11] to take charge of a flocke, and to be Pastor of a Church; and is not a familie then a great charge that is called a Church? Wee will say in an English pro­uerbe, A prouerb. that there belongeth more to a marriage then two payre of bare legges; so we say further, that there belongeth more to a family then Gouernors, seruants, house­hold stuffe, and prouision: there must be lawes and discipline, or­der and instruction, a watchman and ouerseers, that all may walke vpright; that God being serued, hee may serue vs, and his name being daily blessed, he may blesse vs againe, and powre a blessing vpon our labours, which wee take in hand.

Herehence then (my worthie, and worshipfull friends) let mee deduce, for your vse, and remem­brance these few, and ioynt duties to you and your blessed yokefel­low, to practise towards the Lord. [Page 12] Remember the words of Dauid before rehearsed; how timely hee would take in hand the religious ordering & planting of his house. Forget not the words of our Saui­our Christ, who counselleth you (and all that regard him for their Lord and Sauiour) first, Matth. 6.33. to seeke the kingdome of heauen and the righteousnes thereof, and then (as it were without your care) all other things should bee ministred vnto you. Let your gouernment and house, first entertaine Christ Iesus (who neuer commeth emp­tie handed, Christ neuer commeth emp­tie handed. Prou. 8.18. but furnished with all grace and riches; euen durable riches (as Salomon calleth it) that is, the knowledge, the seruice and the true care of religious duties. Let God be aboue all things ho­noured in and of your selues, for example sake, yea, for conscience sake, then of al, and euery seruant, men and maides, the chiefest, the basest, see y ^t they bee not profane [Page 13] persons as Esau was, Heb. 12.16. who for a messe of pottage sold his birth­right, that is, such as more esteeme a messe of pottage, or a vaine toy, then the feare of the Lord, or to be taught any goodnes, or repro­ued to leaue any euill. Keepe not that seruant who being attainted with any the aforesaid crimes, of swearing, vncleannes, Mat. 18.15.16. drunkennes or riot, and shall bee admonished and conuicted thereof, according vnto due order of reproouing, which leaueth not his sinne, and feareth not to sinne, through contempt of order. That God, who commanded Abraham to cast out Ismael for his scoffing at Isaac, Gen. 21. commandeth you (and all Masters) to cast out the broode of Ismael, (that is) all contemners, and resisters of religion. 1. Cor. 5.6.7. They are the leauen, yea the very bane and poyson, (let me speake yet a little further,) a most grieuous plague and leaprosie, vnto any godly [Page 14] and honest familie. Euill seruants are euer more offensiue vnto the godlie. Such doe not onely vexe the godly, if any be in it, but keepe away the godly, that would come vnto it. Let not therefore your family want neces­sarie Lawes and penalties for of­fenders, whereby you may re­presse sinne, and be the meanes, if not of sauing such, as otherwise would perish in sinne, and igno­rance of God, yet, at the least, of lessening their torments in hel, by restraining the measure of their sinne, according to which shall e­uery soule be tormented.

For want of godly discipline, how do serants, euen in the fami­lies of religious Gouernours, of­fend, (may I not say abound?) in swearing scorning, & most vile be­hauiour? I would I knew it not to be too true, in too many places of very religious account. Whose is the fault? verily y ^e Gouernours: and they shall beare the sinne of such offenders. You will say, they com­mand [Page 15] against swearing, and for­bid their seruants; and they are taught the contrarie, neither take they their example from the Go­uernors. All this is wel; but all this is not large enough for excuse. I would to God al families had this to glorie of, the easier would be the reformation of the residue.

All this while there is no mention of penall statutes, dome­sticall mulctes or punishments, corporall or pecuniarie, with cho­sen and appointed watchmen and ouerseers, for the ouersight of the familie, and to wait vpon the be­hauiour, and obserue the conuer­sation of the seruants; sober, wise, and trustie seruants, to whom au­thoritie, credit, and countenance may bee giuen to discharge this dutie thorowout the families. You will say, this were enough for a whole congregation. I an­swere, very true. And why not for euery honorable, worshipfull, and [Page 16] populous familie which the Scrip­tures doe account, Rom. 16.5. and call a Church? If it bee a Church, why should it not haue the lawes and discipline of a Church? Indeede if it were so, sinne must needes bee constrained to flee to the land of Shinar, Babylon, or confusion, and would bee ashamed to shew her head. A reason why priuate fami­lies doe want good lawes. Why then you will say, is it not so? Oh, we are ashamed of the Gospell: we feare to be euill spoken of, or that we shall not get seruants to do our worke and bu­sines. Such pretences are coyned in the world, and we thinke them very reasonable: but alas they are too narrow a couering to cloke or hide our false harted loue to Christ, our coldnes in religion, and our distrust in God. Surelie I thinke it would thrust out Hagar and Ishmael with bottell and bag, (the bondwoman and her sonne) swaggerers, roysters, and ruffian like seruants, with such lewde and [Page 17] profane blasphemers, Act. 1.25. as are more fit for hel (their owne inheritance, without repentance) then for godly families, which haue the name for religion. And as for the seruice of such men, I cannot see how it should be blessed, but ac­cursed rather; nor how we should doubt the hauing of religious ser­uants, if we our selues (the gouer­nours) do truly loue religion, and would indeede haue such, or none at all. But whiles wee haue such linsie-wolsie mixtures, Deut. 22.10. an Oxe & an Asse to draw together, one good and fiue euill, one that ab­horreth an oath, and halfe a dosen for one that shall make no bones of an oath, nay shall (it may bee) sweare in contempt of such a one, is it any meruaile, though we can­not finde good seruants? if our houses were reformed (as they ought to be) like Gods house, and that Christ his gouernment did beare sway therein, we should not [Page 18] neede lay wait for such seruants, they would enquire for vs, and sue to be receiued as into the Arke of Noe? All this may be performed where there is not a Pastor or tea­cher resident in the famile; but if there be no Pastor in the publike congregation, you can by no meanes (well) want one in your familie. You will say, that is a great charge. I answere: nothing to the danger of the want of one. You know it is Gods ordinance to haue his word preached, and your familie instructed, as hath bin said, & none so fit and meet as by a godly Teacher. If you stick at the charge, then withall consider whether you bestow not as much, (if not oftentimes more) vpō more vnnecessary expenses; as vpon vaine apparrell, vpon hawkes hounds, superfluous or sumptuous building, great housekeeping, and such like. I speake not of playing or wicked gaming (because I ex­hort [Page 19] a Christian Gentleman:) if you doe any of the former and want a Teacher, you set the carte before the horse, and take the wrong course to thriue. If you re­plie, and say, those aforesaid ex­penses must needes be; I demand, before the meanes of saluation? What? Hawkes, or Hounds, or dostly apparrell, or daintie fare, before the preaching of Gods word, his worship and seruice? Is it time (saith Haggaie) for your selues to dwell in seeled houses, Hag. 1.4. Iob. 31.11.12. and this House lie waste? As Iob saith; this were a wickednes and iniquitie to be condemned: yea, (saith he) this would bee a fire that should deuoure to destruction, and roote out all his increase. For which, how Gods wrath came vpon that people; is in that chapter at large declared: the iudgements of God fell on them, in their eating and drin­king, and clothing, and earnings, Vers. 6.9.10. [they put their wages into a broken [Page 20] bagge]. If yet you say, many neg­lecting this religious care you speake of, doe yet thriue and pro­sper; I answere, and many doe not: which doubtlesse is Gods curse vpon them. But, be they re­ligious persons or gouernours, I say, the greater is Gods mercie, so to spare them in so manifest an offence against so holy a dutie: if they be others, (voide of religion) it is not to bee respected; whose thriuing is not a token of Gods loue vnto them, when they want grace to serue him rightly; and the more they thriue, & yet right­ly serue him not, the greater will be their iudgement, and condem­nation. Let that be no president to you, against the plain euidence of the word of God, against which if a miracle, Deut. 13.1.2.3.4.5. signe, or wonder may not preuaile, (which sometimes to prooue men, God hath permitted and suffered) much lesse may the thriuing of wicked men preuaile [Page 21] in such a case, vpon whom (if wee will reade the Scriptures) we shall see, God powreth his benefits, and filleth their bellies (as Dauid saith) with his hid treasures, Psalm. 17.14. much more then on the Godly, yea they haue no changes in their prosperous estate, Psalm. 55.19. when the godly are afflicted and chastned euery morning, in bodie, goods, and good name. Therefore this is a slender stum­bling blocke, and not worthie to be stucke at. The charge of a Teacher coun­teruailed. The charge there­fore of a reuerend and painefull Teacher (if any way your state will beare it) doth bring his burthen of blessings other waies (if God be not vnrighteous) and till that charge bee defraied, certainely all our pleasures, profits, and delights in whatsoeuer before named or may bee added vnto it, are accur­sed in the vse thereof, except wee be vnder the publicke ministerie (as I said before): for as in those indifferent blessings (for so I may [Page 22] lawfullie cal them in a sober vse of thē,) there is some honest delight for gentle & noble minds, so (yet) till the worship of God be proui­ded for, they are vtterly vnlawful.

If that bee therefore gran­ted, that to haue a Teacher bee needefull, the expence no heauie burthen, but vnwillingly endured; then, as my next counsell, see that your Teacher haue his due regard in his place and calling; Teachers must haue their due regard in the family. that is, see that hee haue meete reuerence with authoritie, both from your selues and all others in the family. For if he bee not regarded, how shall his word, his exhortation, or reproofe take place vnto Gods glorie? The Lord requireth for his workes sake, 1. Thes. 5.12.13. 1. Tim. 5.17. Heb. 13.17. that such bee had in singular reuerence, in double honour, obeyed and submitted vnto. All which is not as to his person, but to his office and fun­ction: not to him, but to Christ, whose word, person, and autho­ritie [Page 23] he sustaineth. The contempt of whom is likewise, not to him but to the Lord your Redeemer. When therefore in your familie, euery base person shall set him at naught, or being reprooued by him for any euill, shall scornfullie resist, or reiect his counsell, what can this grow vnto, but an hard­ning of them in their euills, and a discomfort vnto the Teacher to doe his dutie? Rightly to esteeme Gods seruant, as the honour of his place & calling doth require, must come from singular grace and knowledge of Gods ordi­nance, and is not the weakest te­stimonie of a religious heart. Thus whiles you prouide for the true honour of your God ( Matth. 6.33. as they that first seeke for the kingdome of GOD and his righteousnesse) you sow vnto your owne ho­nour, for that they which honour God shall be honoured of God, 1. Sam. 2.30. his owne mouth hath witnessed [Page 24] it. Yea, in sowing thus to godli­nes, Gal. 6.7.8. what fruit in your season may you looke to reape, but that which is promised vnto godlines? which is, not onely the immortalitie of the life to come (which is of faith) but also Gods blessings in this present life, which is in sight. Come children (saith y ^e Prophet) hearken vnto me, Psalm. 34.11. and I will teach you the feare of the Lord. What man is hee that desireth life and would faine see good? Keepe thy tongue from euill and thy lippes that they speake no guile, [...]s [...]hew euill and doe good, seeke peace and follow after it: Vers. 17. For (saith he) the eies of the Lord are ouer the righteous, and his eares are open vn­to their crie. Whereas on the con­trarie side, what a foundation o [...] an vnhappie life, is in the contem­ners and neglecters of religion? may they thinke to prosper? the Prophet saith the contrarie, Vers. 16. that the countenance of the Lord is a­gainst such as feare not God, to [Page 25] roote out their memoriall from off the earth. The prosperitie of the wicked is accursed. Or admit they were outwardly blessed, what is their prosperitie, but accursed vnto them, their table made a snare, and the things that should be for their aduantage, an occasion of falling? This shall suffice for the first point to direct you vnto religion and religious gouernment; and as the first steppe and beginning of assu­red happines; Religion the salte of true happines. Tit. 1.15. which (also) seaso­neth (as with salt) all other cir­cumstances of this lifes happines; for, if onely to the pure all things are pure, and onely they that so religiouslie liue and gouerne (ac­cording to Gods worde) are of God accounted pure, Matth. 5.8. and the pure onely blessed (as the mouth of all truth hath pronounced it:) and that on the contrarie, to them that are defiled and vnbeleeuing is nothing pure, but euen their minds and consciences are defi­led, then must it needes follow, [Page 26] that onely the religious inioy the blessings of God aright, The vnregene­rate are but v­surpers vpon the gifts of God. both of pleasure and necessitie, all others being but vsurpers vpon the gifts of God.

And admit, that for all this reli­gious care, you shall suffer some reproach, Reproach for Religion. (as very assuredly it will follow from Satan & his impes:) what of this? Yet is this directi­on Gods simple truth, & the high way vnto happines. Yea, it is ther­fore the more vndoubted truth, for that y ^e way of truth must be e­uill spoken of, 2. Pet. 2.2. 2. Tim. 2.12. The Crosse the shadow of the truth. neither can y ^e crosse be auoided, as the shadow of the truth. For which, if you shall bee discouraged, you will prooue vn­worthie of Christs glorie, neither can you raigne as a partaker in happines, Rom. 3.17. except you suffer in this life, as a man most vnhappie. If you denie God; Gen. 17.1. he will deny you; if you walke with him, and be vp­right, he will bee to you God al­sufficient: If you rule for God, [Page 27] and according to his word, then shall you rule with God, and sit vpon his throne of eternall glo­ [...]i [...]. Now what is the rule, that you must rule by? Is it the example of men, mighty, or multitude? No, by no meanes; for that is the certaine rule to erre by. I thank thee (O Fa­ther) saith our Sauior Christ, Matth. 11. Lord of heauen and earth, that thou hast hid these things from the prudent and wise, & hast reuealed them to babes and sucklings. And S. Paul saith, 1. Cor. 1.26.27. that the calling and state of true Christianitie, is not composed of y ^e Noble, learned, rich, or migh­tie of the world, but Gods choyce is quite against the reason of man, as to take foolish things to con­found wise (which through God it shal do easily) and weake things to cōfound mightie, & vile things of the world, and things that are despised, & things which are not, to bring to nought, Gods manner of working. things that are. This is Gods kind of working; [Page 28] and except you consider it both well and easily, you shall stumble at it and be offended.

The rule that you must leuel by (both concerning your selfe and others that shal be your charge) is the most blessed word of God; a young mās rule; Psalm. 119. an old mans rule; euery mans rule: The Prince must rule by it, y ^e subiect obey by it: the husband must gouerne his wife by it; the wife must yeeld her sub­iection thereby as it prescribeth. In it there is for euery condition, state and degree, most perfect in­struction, to bee taught and lear­ned: then must you be diligent, herein: Psalm. 1.2. & 119.55.62.148. day and night did Dauid studie therein, whence his wise­dome came. If you take little paines in it, you must looke but for little wisedome by it; VVe must be­leeue Gods pro­mises for in­couragement vnto our du­ties. you must not looke to reape that you doe not sow; nor thinke to sow in vaine, where God saith you shal reape. If you spend more time in [Page 29] pleasure and vanitie, you must looke for your great fruit and gaine in vanitie. If you loue and delight more in worldlie things then in spirituall, you must count vpon the reward accordingly. It is not possible to be attained, the pleasure and glorie of this life, and the kingdome of heauen: Luk. 16.19. The sto­rie of Diues & Lazarus will teach you that most plainely: Diues had here his pleasure, and Laza­rus his paine; but Diues for his pleasure exchanged torments, and Lazarus his afflictions were tur­ned into heauens ioyes. The state of godlines is to suffer: Gal. 6.14. the state of Christianitie, is to be crucified with Christ, Matth. 16.24 the members must be like their head; and hee that will bee Christs disciple must forsake himselfe, take vp the crosse and follow Christ.

And albeit I said before, that the wise, noble, rich, and mightie, were not to be your rule, (because [Page 30] Gods word doth onelie challenge that peculiar honour) yet said I not, that amongst these degrees, you should finde no examples to behold and imitate. 1. Cor. 1. When Saint Paul therefore said, Not many no­ble, not many wise, &c. he did not say none of these degrees, as none of the Nobles, wise and learned of the world, are called and stand for Christ; but not many of these. Some therefore both haue been, and in all ages shall bee called, that for nobilitie shall equall any; and for riches any; and for lear­ning ioyne with any, and yet true­ly professe Christ Iesus. Some a­bout Herod▪ Luk 8.3. Phli. 4.22. Act. 17.11. as his stewards wife: some in Neros familie; some No­bles of Berea; some Pharisies, some Counsellers, Matth. 27.57. Ioseph of Ari­mathea, a good man and a iust, with Nicodemus and others; but all these did submit their wise­doms, nobilitie, and learning vn­to the scepter of Iesus Christ, and [Page 31] were content to be taught by him, what true wisedome is; Phil. 3.8. and Paul desired to know nothing but Christ crucified, Gal. 6.14. wishing God to forbid that hee should reioyce in any thing but in Christ Iesus cru­cified, by whom the world decai­ed to him, and he vnto the world. What shall I say vnto that cloud of witnesses, Ab [...]ham, Isaac, Heb. 11. Ia­cob, Moses and the rest, that are mustered in that chapter? Chap. 12.2. all which endured with Christ the crosse and despised the worlds shame, for their religious, vpright, and most holie life, Chap. 11.38. being perse­cuted and hated, of whom (yet) the world was not worthie; and whom (though we now honour) yet did the men of their time most grieuouslie hate and disdaine, as they doe any of the godly in this present age. Insomuch, that though many who now speake euill of the way of truth and the sincere profession of the Gospell, [Page 32] would say with the Pharisies, Matth. 23.30. that if they had liued in their daies they would not haue been part­ners with them in their blood, nor ioyned with their persecutors in their reprochfull doings: yet, if the case were so, and that they might now liue againe amongst them to reprooue their wicked waies, and doe contrarie to their doings; they would no more spare them, then the godly pre­sent. Else, why doe they so ill in­treat them, that follow their bles­sed steppes? Or for what is it, that they that liue godly, are so repro­ched, but for their precise care vn­to the duties of godlines? De­mand what is the cause they are reproched, and branded with termes of (suppposed) disgrace? why? forsooth there is nothing (saith the profane scoffer) but preaching and praying and god­lines that they account of. If you come in their companie, beware [Page 33] how you sweare an oath: for if you doe, you shall bee sure to heare of it, before your word be cold. They forsooth will neither sit downe to meate, nor rise from table, but they must haue grace, or it is worth nothing. And they will al­low nothing to be done vpon the Sonday, (which they cal the Lords day, and they say, it is the Scrip­ture name,) but what must be for necessitie, nor that neither if they could chuse. They liue not like other Gentlemē, which yet keepe as good houses, as they doe; yea, with good sport at Christmas, with piping and dancing, and carding, The worlds mirth. and other Christmas gambols, that men may be mer­rie when they come: with them there is no such good fellowship nor merriments, but all sadnes, and scripture-talke, singing of Psalmes, and reading of chapters, out of S. Paul and S. Peter, and I know not whence, nor what to [Page 34] make of such a life, which was not seene in our forefathers daies till they came vp; enough to make one both weary and mad (I think) that is not vsed vnto it.

Loe here this is the reproch of religion, and the cause thereof. That if you wilt not runne with the world into the madnes, 1. Pet. 4.4. and profane course thereof, neither be carnally minded with them, nor follow, nor fashion your selfe in all vanitie like vnto them, you are straightway mad and melancho­lie; and (as Peter saith) therefore speake they euill, yea (as our Sa­uiour saith) all manner of euill fals [...]ly and vniustlie; and that for the things which God highlie commandeth vs, Disgrace for the things God most comman­deth. men shall bee in most disgrace with worldly men. But as S. Peter further saith, they shall giue their acccounts for such vngodly speaking, to him that is readie to iudge both the quicke and dead at his next appearing. [Page 35] This therefore must in no wise discourage you, or either of you, out as you haue those worthie lightes, of both Patriarches, Pro­phets, and Apostels, yea, of Christ Iesus himselfe, the chiefe corner stone, with all his godly traine the hundred fortie foure thousand that stand with him vpon Mount Sion, Reuel. 14.1. Psalm. 123.3. who haue suffered (as Dauid saith) too much contempt, (as be­fore was said:) So might I (with y ^e Apostle) 2. Tim. 1.5. referre you to the exam­ple of your most worthy and worshipfull Parents (as S. Paul quick­neth Timothie, with Lois and Eunice, his mother and grande­mother) who, in these verie same reproches, haue honoured and serued the Lord before you. If therefore the actions of our Aun­cestors doe so much delight vs, and are such a spurre to incite and quicken vs in common virtues, how much more to imbrace god­lines and holie gouernment? And [Page 36] if the parents of our earthlie bo­dies shall preuaile so with vs, how much rather the Parents of our e­ternall happines, euen the father of Spirits ( Heb. 12.9.as the Apostle saith) should he preuaile in his example of holines, 1. Pet. 1. Matth. 5.48. who thus saith, Bee yee holy, as I am holy: Bee yee perfect, as your heauenly father is perfect? And if (saith Peter) ye call him fa­ther, 1. Pet. 1.17. who without respect of persons iudgeth according to euery mans workes, passe the time of your dwel­ling here in feare. All which, I haue the more specially obserued and touched, A stumbling blocke remo­ued. that I might remooue a stumbling blocke out of your way. For that many, who doe ap­prooue the best things, haue yet no courage at all to practise them, because of the crosse; professing (in a sorte) they know the trueth, but doe (indeed) denie the power therof. Tit. 1.16. The power of profession is in practise. Which power standeth not in knowledge alone, but in speci­all and daily practise, with obe­dience [Page 37] to the trueth. And much more easie will it be for such as doe not know the will of God, and therefore doe not obey his will, then for such as know, and doe it not; many stripes belong vnto them, as our Sauiour saith. Whereunto I meane not, but to point with my finger (as it were) that you may bee armed to resist such spirituall cowardli­nes in the profession of Iesus Christ his trueth, if for your godly life, Spirituall cow­ardlines. and religious gouernmēt, you shal beare reproch: reioyce and bee glad thereof, and lay it vpon your shoulder (as Iob did, Matth. 5.11.12. Iob. 31.35.36. or would haue done his aduersaries booke) and it shall become your crowne of glorie in the day of your ac­count.

To proceede therefore (and yet briefly withal to go thorow the summe of this my slender pur­pose) this is (but yet) the founda­tion of present and future happi­nes. [Page 38] There must bee f [...]rther buil­ding in the work and gouernment of a familie. Simile. For as the sweetnes of musicke consisteth in the orderlie concent and tuning of the strings, without which bee hee neuer so skilfull that plaieth, the instru­ment neuer so good, the strings neuer so true, there will bee no sound of musicke: euen so, if the stringes and members of a familie be set in tune, euery string in his due and proper place, euery string in his place keeping his note and height, Psalm. 133. then (as Dauid saith) is there y ^t comelines, goodnes, and well agreement, which he resem­bled to Hermons pleasant and pretious dewes, Vers. 2.3. with that most sweet and sacred sauour, which from the Priestly anointing of Aaron did arise and smell. To this (naturally) we are not (by birth) apte; no more then the strings of an instrument will of their owne nature without art or skill, fall in­to [Page 39] tune. Nay, by nature, wee are peruer [...]ers of all good order, and mean [...] of good concent. Would subiects be vnder one head or go­uernment, if feare or grace did not compell them? hath not nature shewed her rebellion in children against their parents? Let onelie Absolons storie bee remembred. 2. Sam. 15. Hath not families bin subuerted, troubled and disordered by hus­bands ruling wickedlie, or the wiues rebelling disobedientlie? Gen. 4.23. Let Lamech be an instance for the husbands fault, Gen. 3. and Euah for the wife. Whereupon most iustly they were put vnder tribute, and must not be permitted to vsurpe autho­ritie. 1. Tim. 2 22. I neede insiste in no other degrees and societies (as I might, between the Pastor and his flocke, (between whom and them whiles the people are as they that re­forme the Priest (as Hoseas saith) Hos. 4.4. and will not follow him, instru­cting and ruling them from the [Page 40] Lord, how can there be harmonie without confusion to the people to be lulled in their sinnes?) It is sufficient that wee haue examples for my present purpose. If there­fore it bee not from nature but from grace, and (as before was de­clared) Gods word do contain in­struction for al degrees and socie­ties of men, who can bee exemp­ted, or dispenced with to neglect that rule that desireth a quiet and godly life, or would be held guilt­lesse of contrarie cause?

A familie like to a common­wealth.A familie may bee compared vnto a commonwealth: wherein, there are diuers societies and de­grees, reciprocally relating, and mutually depending one vpon a­nother. The highest degree or so­cietie is between the husband and the wife; Simile. and this is as the first wheele of a clocke, that turneth a­bout all the rest in order. The next societie, is betweene the Parents and the children. The third be­tweene [Page 41] the seruants one with ano­ther, and towards all other supe­riors in the familie. Three societies of a familie. Into these three societies may a familie bee disposed. As touching the first and principall societie (wherein also principally I purpose to in­siste) which is betweene your selfe and your louing Hinde or Roe, whom many a time I haue blessed and shall blesse (by Gods grace) vnto your vse and comfort) giue me leaue, (as one that can speake by the surest learning) to powre forth my minde mutually to you both; who can tell you, that the Canker vnto happines, and dan­ger of confusion to a familie, is the contention and disagreement of man and wife.

You will say, The meanes to auoide conten­tion in a fami­lie easie. how may this be auoided? I answere, verie easilie, if in time true regard be had vnto mutual duty, without which there can be no comfort, nor that bles­sing of happines which before we [Page 42] spake of. Nay, (which is more,) to haue y ^e blessing of God, which is the foundation and cause of all happines. Gods ordi­nance must bee preferred be­fore vnmeete conditions of peace. It standeth not in what man and wife shal conclude vpon, that there may be peace & quiet­nes, but what order God hath pre­scribed them, to bee obeyed in their places: so that they must looke vnto Gods wisedom, order, & polity for oeconomical gouern­ment, and not what may seeme right and good in their owne eies. And that, Deut. 22.5. if the man may not weare womans apparrell, nor the woman mans, how much lesse may the one vsurpe the others dignitie, or the other (to wit the husband) resigne or giue ouer his soueraigntie vnto his wife? but each must keepe their place, their order, and heauenly politie, wher­to God hath called them. The husband is made the head, The husband the head, the wife the bodie. 1. Cor. 11.3. and the wife resembled to the bodie: May the head of a bodie (naturall) [Page 43] bee turned downeward? can the whole person so continue, & liue well in that state? how vnseemelie is it? no more can the bodie poli­tique bee in peaceable or blessed condition, if order be inuerted. A most monstrous thing it was that the Prophet Esay complained of when he said, Isay 3.12. Children are extor­tioners of my people, and women rule ouer them. You wil say the Prophet speaketh of another case: I know it well: yet doth it (and very well may it) serue, VVhich is, vvhen men be­ing effeminate, are led (as vvas Ahab, and such like) to prouoke the Lord. in any case that is contrarie to Gods word to shew deformitie; but in his right case most notoriouslie.

You will say, shall the wife haue no gouernment? shall she do no­thing but be idle in the familie? I answere, my wordes yet tend vn­to no such thing. Then, why was she taken for a yokefellow? why is her helpe required, Gen. 2.18. and she cal­led an helper? Nay, I will say more, a glorious spectacle it may [Page 44] be, where the wife hath the whole gouernment. But with these cauti­ons: that is, where the wife ma­nageth houshould affaires, proui­dently foreseeing, carefully dispo­sing, and religiouslie gouerning to the honour of her husband. Prou. 31.31. Else would not Salomon haue said (in the description of a virtuous wife) Giue her the fruit of her hands, and let her owne workes praise her in the gates. Hauing before so notablie set forth the qualities of a virtu­ous wife: First of her grace and obedient faithfulnes, shee will doe him good (saith Salomon) though I know the wordes of his mother Bathsheba) and not euill all the daies of her life; Vers. 12. no meruaile though hee said, Vers. 10. her price was aboue the pearles: (marke yee wiues the pat­terne of a wife; and yee husbands (that are to choose) learne yee to choose a wife:) she will doe him good; [good] shall be the obiect and subiect of her labour; so (you [Page 45] will say) will many; A perfect good. but (saith hee) she will doe him good, and not euill, that is, good without intermixing it with euill, good whollie; good absolutely, good and no euill with it, to distaine or corrupt it. Mi­chol did some good when shee conuaied away Dauid, 1. Sam. 19.12. when the house was beset, and his life in ha­zard; 2. Sam. 6.20. but how ill beseeming was her euill scoffing at him, when his zeale in Gods cause did a­bound and shew it selfe? Manie there are that will doe good vnto their husbands, Many causes why women may doe good vnto their hus­bands, and yet misse the right cause. for diuers causes, nature will enforce, selfe vnitie and ioynt partaking in condition, constraine; desert procure and euince; and many others. But to doe such good, so soundely, so carefully, and that all the life long, as shall be voide of euill, how rare is such a wife? Surely, in compa­rison of the multitude of contra­ries, (whereof some will doe but little good for much euill; and [Page 46] some all euill and no good, such as Salomon describeth in his Pro­uerbs, Prou. 12.4. which by dishonouring of her husband becommeth corrup­tion to his bones) I say in compa­rison of the multitude of such vn­godly and foolish wiues which neither doe good to their hus­bands nor to thēselues, such virtu­ous ones may be said to be rare & scarce: yet otherwise I could point vnto some virtuous paternes (by coniunction neere vnto you; and the taste whereof, if nature diuerte not, or grace (rather) faile not, you may finde in due time,) in whom shall shine a gratious measure of this heauenly virtue. But if by de­scription of qualitie you would haue mee rather speake, and for modesty to insist, asking me where she is, or who may be found to be such a wife: I will make this an­swere, she that indeuoureth (as in that aforesaid description Salo­mon purtayeth it) she that labou­reth [Page 47] in her place for her husbands quiet, for his health, for his credit, for his wealth, for his happines in his estate more then for her selfe, and counteth his in all those re­spects her owne: this is shee, that doth her husband good, The wiues will and desire to do her husband good and not euill, is her per­fection. and not euil; if withall she abide herein all the daies of her life. It is indeede the will, indeuour, and faithfull practise, that is this perfection, (for other, in any of our duties ei­ther towards God, or man, cannot be attained vnto) which here is spoken of: whereunto whosoe­uer shee bee that indeauoureth, is that virtuous wife.

Which point (to returne again) being positiuely (as a foundati­on) set downe by Salomon, he for­meth the rest, her labour how painefull, her skill how excellent, her wisedom how incomparable, her religion how sincere; She ope­neth her mouth with wisedome, Vers. 26. and the Law of grace is in her tongue; [Page 48] She ouerseeth the way of her house­hold, (Loe her gouernment.) & ea­teth not the bread of Idlenes: her children rise vp, Vers. 28. Vers. 29. and call her blessed; her husband also shall praise her, saying, many daughters haue done virtuouslie, but thou surmountest them all, &c. So that it was not for nought, that before I said it might be a glorious spectacle, to see the wife sustaine the house­hould gouernment and to ma­nage the affaires pertaining there­unto. Where I meant not euery wife, the foolish and vnprofitable wife, the corruption of her hus­bands bones and dishonour of his life, Iudg. 14.18. which becommeth an hei­fer for his aduersaries and the vile to plough withall; but (as I said) with respect of these cautions: 1. That the wife be fit for the go­uernment she vndertaketh. 2. Be­ing neuer so fit, with the consent and referēce of her husbands wil, taking all her light (as the Moone [Page 49] is said from the Sunne, so she) from her husband, for gouernment and authoritie, The wife the husbands lieu­tenant. as his Lieutenant vnder him; and so wisely disposing all to his honour accordinglie. In such a case, The wife go­uerning well becommeth an honour vnto the husband. how great an honour is the wiues godly gouernment vnto the husband? whiles hee as king to command, yet with loue as an husband, shall goe in and out, in the middest of his familie? not fearing spoyle, whether he be at home or abroade; nor needing vnlawfull spoyles to maintaine his state. As also, how honourable a seruice is it in the wife, to depend vpon his becke? to aduise with her head? to leane vpon his brest? and yet to haue the authoritie to doe what she will? that is, whilest her will is honest, lawfull, and to her husbands good, as hath been spoken of.

Can this be counted slauerie, or seruill subiection? must there not be in some subiection? Can al (in a [Page 50] nation bee kings? Can all in a fa­mily bee fathers? can all be wiues? can all bee euery thing? If the whole bodie (saith the Apostle) were an [...]ie, 1. Cor. 12.17. where were the hearing? or if all were the eare, where were the smelling? If therfore in a kingdom, or familie, there must of necessitie be these degrees, and that wee see men so subiect to Princes, that they contentedly delight therein, and neither coūt it slauishnes, nor affect aboue their state (though some wicked doe otherwise) should not the wife look vnto the hand of God, The vvife must consider that it is God, vvho hath as­signed her vnto her subiection. which made her the wife, and not the husband, the weaker vessell, and not the stron­ger? the bodie, and not the head? to obey, and not to rule? that is, not to rule without obedience. To grudge hereat, is not against the husband, but against God with­all: to gouerne otherwise, is not to rule, but to vsurpe. Therefore, the Apostle said not, the wife shal not [Page 51] rule, but he said: 1. Tim. 2.12. I permit not a wo­man to teach, nor to vsurpe authori­tie ouer the man. That is (as vnder correction I take it) without the husbandes consent, will, and ap­probation; neither constrained by her shrewdnes, but referred for cause (voluntarilie) to exercise the rule and gouernmēt of the family. And this is that I said, or meant before, which communicablie the husband may not dispose to the wife, though he translate the go­uernment of things; namely, the honor of Headship, to alter, order and direct, as in wisedome hee seeth cause: which glorie must still shine in his face, as he liueth in his familie, and not in hers in his pre­sence; he must still be seene to bee the head and husband, and shee may not beare it; which were most vncomely, yea, her very shame and dishonour, if shee waigh it rightlie.

Now contrarie to all this, one [Page 52] euil sicknes I haue obserued in the experience of my daies, An euill obser­ued amongst men and their wiues. (to speake according to the phrase of Salo­mon) which I find not the offen­ders therein carefully to preuent, though it be the confusion of ma­riage happines: namely, where the husband and the wife are at oddes, which of them shall first begin to performe their duty, that is, A law point betweene man and wife. whether the husbands loue bee the foundation of the wiues obe­dience; or the wiues obedience of the husbands loue. The wife will say, Let mine husband loue me as he should, and I will obey him as I ought. The busband he saith, Let her doe her dutie, and I will loue and maintaine her. Thus they stand at staues end, both of them agreeing in generall, that ioynt dutie is to be performed of both, but neither at agreement which shall begin.

Surely, as in all duties, the A­postles counsell is, Rom. 12.10. that in giuing [Page 53] honour one should goe before a­nother, that is, euery member should striue to giue each other the chiefest honour (a note of true loue, and singular humilitie:) so could I wish that it might ne­uer grow to question of law be­tweene man and wife whose is the dutie (for foundation) to begin the worke of household gouern­ment, but for them rather to striue, VVhat should be, not vvhat is. who should bee most carefull of each others good. The husband (in needfull seruice) should not neede to say, Good wife helpe me herein (I meane in things euident vnto her) but the wife should pre­uent him with, Good husband let me doe it for you. Neither the wife to say (in like case) I pray hus­band doe this for me; but hee ra­ther to take care to preuent her desire. 1. Cor. 7.23.24 Else what meaneth the A­postle by those words, which of this estate hee vttereth; The wife careth for the things of the world, [Page 54] how she may please her husband? And againe: The husband careth for the things of this world, how hee may please his wife. Thus they should not striue, vnlesse it were to giue honour (as was said) and to doe seruice, and by loue to preuent each other, in that which loue should further one another in, to the benefit of the whole, and ho­nour of the Lord. And surely where true loue raigneth indeede, and not a counterfeit shew of loue; or where (in faithfull loue,) either of them are truely carefull of each others good, they shall not neede to sue each other at the law for their right, or complaine they haue wrong; but as Abra­ham said to Lot: Gen. 13.8.9. Let there bee no strife (I pray thee) betweene thee and me, &c. But if thou wilt take the left hand, then I will goe to the right; or if thou wilt goe to the right, I will take the left: so quiet­ly would they compound, nay [Page 55] make no question thereof.

But if there bee such, The remedie of the foresaid euill sicknes. as cannot end this controuersie without the Law, (as no question there bee of both, vnreasonable men and wo­men) men that will rule (like La­mech) tyrannouslie, and women that will liue contentiouslie, to whom the wiues will say: If my husband will loue me I will obey him; and such men say, If my wife will serue me, I wil be beneuolent: then this I must say, A doome a­gainst the wife that conten­deth. The wrong and burthen will light vpon the womans backe. By wrong I meane not iniustice, but as we say in our prouerbe, the wrong end of the staffe will be her parte; that is, it is in vaine (in this case) for the wife to striue with the husband, which is, the weaker with the stronger; the horse (pardon mee good wiues to vse so base a simi­litude) the horse (I say) with him that hath the bridle and is able to sit fast.

Concerning which point, if women will bring their case to the Law of Gods word (which ei­ther must rule them here, or else will rule and iudge them, most fearefully elsewhere) they shall finde, Reasons vvhy the husband ought to be superiour, and the vvife to o­bey first. 1. Tim. 2.13. first the man to haue the prerogatiue by these circumstan­ces: 1. By being called the head, she the bodie. 2. The man to be first created, and so perfect (tou­ching creation) without her; though in regard of fellowship, and procreation (as the Apostle saith) Neither is the man without the woman, nor the woman without the man in the Lord: and therefore hee saith, that the man was not made for the woman, but the wo­man for the man. The punish­ment of Adam and Eue for sinne. 3. As the wo­man, (being the weaker vessell) was deceiued by the diuell, and so deceiued man; so God (calling them both before his iudgement seate) arraigned, Gen. 3. accused, and con­demned both of them, for their [Page 57] fault and sinne: Vers. 17. The man (for his loosenes of gouernment in obey­ing his wife) was condemned (not to lose his gouernment, but) to labour and paine, to trauaile with paine for foode and maintenance: The woman, besides her peculiar paines ioyned with his generall, 1. Tim. 2.15. (wherein yet, being patient, shee serueth God, as an excellent in­strument and handmaide, to store and fulfill his kingdome) I say, besides these ioynt or peculiar paines (as to the principall instru­mentall cause of Adams miserie, for that she did that, which Satan otherwise could not haue done without her) the Lord ouer and aboue condemneth her (for tri­bute) of all obedience to her hus­band, The vviues tribute to the husband. Vers. 16. saying: Thy desire shall bee subiect to thine husband, and hee shall rule ouer thee: which words, being so plaine and euident, need no exposition in the world, nei­ther neede I to confirme it with [Page 58] many testimonies, which abound in the Scriptures to this effect and purpose. The sentence must needes be iust and good vvhen God is the Iudge. So that the Lord (not man) decideth this contro­uersie, and subiecteth the wife, both in desire and will vnto her husband, telling them, who shall begin, who shall lay the founda­tion, and how the worke and buil­ding shall arise thereon. Thus, and thus (saith God) it shall be; both desire [to haue] euen desire of good things, and of all things; and will, [or power] to doe or vn­dertake ought, both these (saith God) shall bee subiect to thine husband, and hee shall rule ouer thee.

Hearken now (my deere friend) here, vnto the iudgement of the Lord, though I trust I shall haue little cause to speake peculiarlie vnto you; yea, (to auoide offence) hearken all ye wiues, (or maidens that may bee wiues) especiallie you that feare the Lord, and doe [Page 59] take his word to be your guide, Necessarie things to be knovvne for the quiet of maried per­sons. if you doe desire the happie life of Matrimonie, behold your condi­tion, know your place and station, and who hath subiected you. If will and desire be taken from you (touching rule and gouernment) what is left you to vse of your owne authoritie? If therefore you will contend at law about superi­oritie, you are bid lay down your interest, for God hath disposed it vnto your husbands, not so much as to desire any thing or doe any thing (as of your selues) but is made tributarie vnto your hus­bands. The shrewde wife saith this is hard. And from hence (I take it) it came, Prou. 19.13. Contention pro­perly ascribed to the vvife by Salomon. that Salomon spake so much, and that so bitterly about the contentions of the wife, cal­ling them (as by a proper name) the Contentions of the wife; and her the contentious person, if there be any strife, betweene her and her husband. Who, although he spake of diuers wicked men, [Page 60] and of diuers imperfections of men; yet neuer (speaking of the husband) doth hee call it, the hus­bands contention, but the conten­tion of the wife, Prou. 27.15. comparing her and her contentions to the drop­ping of an house or gutter: noting therby the poore husbands misery that is so matched with a conten­tious wife, The poore hus­bands miserie. as if he stoode continu­ally vnder the dropping of an house: as also noting her disho­nour thereby, where he saith, that Hee which hideth her (or would seeme to couer such infirmities) hideth the winde: Vers. 16. that is, is like him that would goe about that, that were impossible; and shee is (saith he) as the oyle in his right hand that vttereth it selfe: Vers. 16. which cannot bee concealed, though hee would neuer so faine. Heare y ^e ve­rie text; Pro. 27.15.16. A continuall dropping in the day of raine, and a contentious woman are alike. Hee that hideth her, hideth the wind, and she is as the [Page 61] oyle in his right hand, that vttereth it selfe. In another place thus hee hath it; A foolish sonne, Prou. 19.13. is the ca­lamitie of the father: and the con­tentions of the wife, are like a conti­nuall dropping, &c.

To this you will obiect and Obiect. 1 say: May not the wife contend for lawfull and good things? May the wife doe nothing, but the husband may denie her? To these two questions thus I answere: Answ. (I cal them two, because they are diuers and distinct.) First, vndoubtedlie, The vvife may not contend by any meanes. Ʋ Ʋhat conten­ding is. she must not contend, no not for good things, that is, vnderstan­ding by contending that braw­ling, bickering, and vexing dispo­sition, whereby, as it were, shee will seeme to wrestell and wage warre, for that which is wanting, through which, either she con­straineth his patience, offendeth his loue, breaketh quiet peace, or resisteth his authoritie.

Admit (you will say) it bee for [Page 62] most necessarie duties, as for good gouernmēt in the family, for pray­er to bee performed, for restraint of euill exercises, or entertaine­ment of godly friends, may shee not striue for these things? I an­swere, The wife may vse perswasion, but not conten­tion. for these she may intreate; for these shee may wisely speake and counsell; for the reforma­tion of these amisse, shee may moue friends to perswade: but to fall out, to braule, to lower, to be sullen and fret, or, (which is a de­gree worse (as it is a note aboue Ela) to scold and speake pre­sumptuouslie, A note aboue Ela. this is beyond her place, it is intolerable contenti­on. The contrarie to which, is contained vnder those wordes of the virtuous wiues expressed du­tie: Prou. 31.26. She openeth her mouth with wisedome, and the Law of grace, is in her tongue. To open her mouth with wisedome, is not to braule, but to intreate her husband for things amisse to be redressed: and [Page 63] how contrarie is scolding & con­tentious words to y ^e Law of grace?

But you will say, what if all Obiect. 2 this preuaile not, may she not yet contend? for answere, I say: Answ. Ad­mit the case to be betweene thee and thy Prince: For reformation, or otherwise in withholding right, wilt thou trie him by vn­quietnes in words or deedes? be­ware of that, Eccles. 8.3. (saith Salomon) For he will doe euen what hee list. I know the conditions are very di­uers, and vnequall in their diffe­rent degrees; yet this may be drawne out of the comparison, that as there is no striuing with a Prince, because of his power; so there is (or should be) no conten­ding with the husband (for what­soeuer cause) because of that ab­solute soueraigntie which is in his hand, hee will doe whatsoeuer hee list (lawfull, honest and in­different) and shee cannot hinder him. So that looke how vaine a [Page 64] thing it is, for one to striue with another, that is bound hand and foote, and cannot wagge a finger; so vaine a thing it is for the wife (who for euery thing must depend vpon her husbands will) to striue and wrestle with him. If there­fore the things which are to bee obtained or redressed, bee to bee done by him, and cannot be done by her, The vvife dis­charged by in­forming, rather then by refor­ming. the burthen being his and not hers (she hauing done her du­tie by intreatie) she is discharged, and he standeth guiltie: he being King, Priest, and Prophet in his house, he shall answere for it.

2. Quest.The other question, viz. [whe­ther the wife may doe nothing, but the husband may denie her] must be thus considered. If they be partely of the aforesaid nature, things indifferent, he may forbid her; or things good and lawfull, being extraordinarie and not common duties of religion and Gods seruice, hee may restraine [Page 65] her; but he doth euill (it may bee) in it, which is not the question. My reason of which restraint (or authoritie) is this, Numb. 30.9. where Moses saith, that if a woman shall vow a vow vnto God, if her husband disallow her the same, in the day that hee heareth it, hee shall make her vow that she hath pronoun­ced with her lippes, of no effect. As touching common & ordina­rie duties and partes of Gods ho­ly seruice, as the hearing of his Word, Prayer, Sacraments, & such like, or shall command her things vnlawfull or vncomely, she is not bound to obey herein, neither can he restraine her; or if hee shall do it by violēce, she is excused, as one violently hindred from her dutie, and he shall beare the sinne: neither may the hazard of his dis­pleasure, wrath, or offence, The vvife must do some duties with hazard of her hus­bands displea­sure. be any iust excuse, if violently she be not hindred, touching the duties of Gods seruice, which with patience [Page 66] she is to beare, and submit her selfe vnto. But in any case shee must not contend, for any cause or matter, The inconue­nience of the wiues conten­ding. which is no way to win, nor meanes to obtaine, but to breake peace & vnitie, to dissolue loue, and make way to al disorder and discontented estate. This is the best fruite that can come of contention, with either wise or foolish man. If he be wise, he will not beare it, that is, not beare the losing of his authoritie: If he be foolish, he will bee more intem­perate and not endure it. Wiselie therefore did Abigail in the case of her husbands danger; Abigails wise­dome. who (not consulting with him, be­cause hee was not in case) ven­tred rather in a good action to beare some blame, then to omit a needefull thing. Surely, if he had knowne it, it is probable hee would not haue consented; which thing, because she feared & knew he might restraine her will, she did [Page 67] it priuilie. So such wiues, (as whose husbands are Nabals) haue onelie libertie to doe good without con­sent, and to hazard blame. But that the husband may restraine if he be acquainted with their pur­pose, and they must obey, there is no question.

Let the wife therefore by all meanes shun the obloquie of a contentious wife, wherein is so much dishonour, as almost no­thing more. For what a shame is it to a wife, to be compared to a dropping house? or to haue a corner in a house top (for a man to liue alone in) yea, or the very wildernes to be preferred before her? therefore in the Prouerbes hee saith, Pro. 21.9.19. that It is better to dwell in the corner of the house top, then with a contentious woman in a wide house: And againe; Vers. 19. It is better to dwell in the wildernes, then with a contentious and angrie woman. A womans dis­grace. Oh how ill beseeming is it, the chaste, [Page 68] sober, modest, and amiable face of a louing and virtuous wife, to fret, lower, skowle, scold, braule, or bee vnquiet towards her hus­band? if such saw their faces then in a glasse, it would make them loue the practise of such behaui­our the worse for euer.

On the contrarie side, if they did but know what fetters, bonds, and perswasions, their kind and duti­full behauiour were vnto verie foolish (much more to wise and godly) husbands, for obtaining of their willes, in things lawfull and necessarie, they would neuer fall into a contentious humor, but by kindnes ouercome. A similitude of the vvinde and the Sun. The wind and the Sunne may be similitudes, in this case to set forth the effect hereof. It is said, they once con­tended, who should haue the vi­ctorie to make a Traueller cast off his cloke: the winde began (after his ruffling manner) to blow with strength: then more stronglie: af­ter [Page 69] that with violence, as though he would carrie away man and all: but the more hee threatned, the faster the said traueller held his cloke about him, neither could the winde by his ruffling get vi­ctorie. The Sunne by warmth and faire demeanes, setteth vpon his taske; who, not at first preuai­ling, increased his warmth, till at length, not onely it caused him to cast off his cloke, but his coate and doublet too. So verily, if wiues did know how vnsauorie their ruffling courses of contentions are vnto husbands hearts, Though kind and dutifull persvvasion vvill not pre­uaile, yet must contention needes be the vvorst, though by it she should preuaile, be­cause it is no honest meane appointed of God. Mark 6.21. Hest. 5. and how much their amiable, louing, & pa­tient perswasions, are more likely (if ought at al) to take place with thē, not only to get victorie of the cloke, but of coate and al, & wisely watching their times and seasons (as Herodias did, though in a bad cause) but indeed as Queene He­ster did in a better & good cause) they would surely abhorre and a­bandon [Page 70] their windie course, and wholly cleaue vnto the way of wisedome. They are therefore more then foolish (for euen that name the Scripture giueth vnto indiscreet both women and men) I say they are more then foolish women, Iob. 2.10. Prou. 14.1. that cannot say with themselues, if I cannot obtaine by gentle and moderate meanes, I shall neuer preuaile by vnlawfull meanes: for verily contending is meerely vnlawful; not only (as I haue said) an vnlikely, but an vn­lawfull course.

Thus you see (I trust) this point most euident, that by no meanes the wife may contend, no not for things lawfull. A wise mans saying, if wiues would beleeue it. Well (as one saith) the cause of contention may be in the husband, but the fault of con­tending, is surely in the wife. The husband may be foolish and wic­ked (as Nabal was;) and therein giue occasion (or cause) to a con­tentious nature, but the wife [Page 71] must auoid it, as Abigail did, who wisely preuented the euill, but brawled not for his follie. Let this rule be obserued, and there shall be no contention.

But when this aduice in the wife is no more regarded, (then in ma­ny it is) and that the order of Gods decree is so violated, Gen. 3.16. is it any mer­uaile, if there bee contention be­tweene man and wife? Nay rather it were a wonder, if there should be peace: for whereas the Lord hath inuested the husband with the authoritie and headship, will any lose this authority, & resigne it preposterouslie? will hee lose his libertie, and cast his scepter to the ground? The vvife in vsurping au­thoritie cruci­fieth her hus­band, as it is said of S. Peter, vvith his heeles vp­vvard. will hee bee nailed to y ^e crosse, with his heeles vpward? I denie not (much lesse iustifie) the husband to be in cause oftentimes, of disunitie and con­tention, when he shall be carelesse of necessarie and godlie duties, improuident, vnthriftie, froward, [Page 72] rigorous, and worse then all this, yet still (as hath been prooued) the contentions are the wiues, and the fault of contending will light on her vnanswerablie, because she is subiected vnto a tributary estate, being made for the man, and hee made her head. She being the cause of all his miserie, VVhen hus­bands are fro­vvard, vviues must remem­ber that they vvere the ori­ginall cause thereof in them. if she beare any miserie by meanes of his in­discretion, shee must looke vnto the originall thereof, which first sprang in her selfe; whereas for a man to transgresse that hath the prerogatiue, and is, as it were, the king and chiefe gouernour of the familie, for him to say with La­mech (though I say not iustifiable) I would slay a man in my wound, and a young man in mine hurt; Gen. 4.23. yet is it not so monstrous or intollerable, or to be wondred at: though the dutie and beneuolence, thus (with Lamech) to terrifie, and feare the wife, bee thereby wounded and discouraged; yet is not the order [Page 73] of Gods ordinance so inuerted and ouerthrowne as in the former disobedience and contention of the wife.

Al which, I speake not to oppresse the wife, as shall appeare (my deare friend) in the matter subse­quent, and therefore doe I craue your patience vnto the very ende) but to enforce the euill of con­tention, by discouering the cause and fault therof; that by wisdome it may be preuēted, or with speed remoued: which being absolute­lie (I meane the fault of conten­ding) in the wife, she must of ne­cessitie take care to remoue it, or beare the blame thereof.

Neither yet is it a vile estate, whereunto the wife is thus sub­iected (as partly hath bin shewed) (though her will and desire bee both captiued) neither yet the [...]ight way for her to relieue her selfe, if the burthen be too heauie to contend for ease: For, as the [Page 74] husband may lawfully (if he will) impart his authoritie with his wife, (which who so doth not is not wise, if his wife bee virtuous and fit to vse it) so yet it behoo­ueth her to take the best course to obtaine and winne it. Now contending (as hath been pro­ued) is absolutely denied her: what then may compasse it? Sure­ly her subiection shall get her go­uernment, True subiecti­on the right vvay to rule. and her obedience rule; the more subiect, the grea­ter power shall shee obtaine; and the more humble in her obediēce, the more libertie shall she win. If therefore there were not an euill spirit, & a corrupt nature to blind the wife, rather with the wind to contend by force for her will, then patiently with the sunne to gaine it by virtue and diligence, they might much more preuaile for rule and gouernment then by the warre of contention, Contention consumeth loue. which con­sumeth loue. I will giue that by [Page 75] intreatie, which by constraint I will not; and remit a debt, Matth. 18.26. if the debter craue patience, whereas if he be insolent, he may rot in pri­son for it: why then do not wiues consider this, that virtue, rather then violence, submission then contention, refusing then vsur­ping, patience then stubbornnes, will more preuaile for peace in their fellowship, and libertie to their will, then al their crossing in­uentions can euince and con­quere? But what if no grace or virtue will preuaile? to whom then are they subiect, if the husband be vnreasonable? is it vnto man, or vnto God? I say vnto God, The threefold pledge: 1. To loue, 2. To cherish, 3. To obey.and vnto his ordinance, to whom shee sweareth obedience in the ma­riage knot.

Now out of all this (deare friend) I shall neede no great ex­hortation vnto you, to imbrace this wisedome, seeing the course I prescribe, is not onely the eui­dence [Page 76] of the word of God, but in all sense and reason both the ea­siest the faithfullest, and most ho­norable for the wife; yea, of both good and bad it is most commen­dable, except some rare woman for wickednes that excelleth o­ther. For, was there euer commen­dation giuen to Sarah, aboue her obedience? of whom the holie Ghost saith, 1. Pet. 3.6. That shee obeyed her husband, and called him Lord: whose meeke and quiete spirit (opposed to the contentious spirit) the Apo­stle saith, Vers. 4. is a thing much set by of God; Whose daughters (saith hee againe) yee are whiles yee do well, Vers. 6. not being affraid with any terror. Or is there a more odious reproch vnto a wife (whoredome set aside, which dissolues the knot; how much more then when whore­dome and contention are met in one?) I say, is there a more shame­full reproch vnto the wife, then to bee Salomons contentious wo­man, [Page 77] of whom wee spake before? Prou. 6.33. there can be no greater (that euer­lasting blot excepted), for that it ouerthroweth the virtue of the wife; prooueth her to haue nei­ther meeke nor quiet spirit, but froward, insolent and contenti­ous. Which meeknes & quietnes, if it be as the Apostle auouched, a thing of God so much set by, then needes must frowardnes and con­tention bee vnto him most dete­stable; and so consequently, that which is so odious to God, and so offensiue to man (as to stand vnder the dropping of a gutter), must needes be a diuellish nature and a reprochfull qualitie. Prou. 12.4. But (saith Salomon) the virtuous wife is a crowne to her husband, shee will doe him good and not euill, Prou. 31.12. and that not a day, or twaine, but, in an vnwearied course, all the daies of her life: giue her therefore the fruit of her hands, and let her owne workes praise her in the gates.

Now in all the subiection that I haue spoken of in the wife, I haue meant no seruil subiectiō or dutie, but dutie with a kind of equalitie, and equalitie with reuerence. For the dutie, Obedience ac­cording to degree. or word of obedience is very large and generall, and must bee considered according to his degree. There is the seruants du­tie; the sons dutie, and the wiues dutie. The sonnes differeth from the seruants dutie, because the ser­uant abideth not in the house for euer, whereas the sonne (being heire) shall inherit and abide. His obedience is with loue, the ser­uants with feare. The wiues dutie (or obedience) also differeth from the sonnes, and is by degree more excellent, in y ^t it is graced and sea­soned with a kind of equalitie, be­ing fellow heires (as Peter saith) or heires together of y ^e grace of God; 1. Pet. 3.7. to whō the holy Ghost there com­mandeth honour, (as to the wea­ker vessell) that is, by honour hee [Page 79] meaneth tender regard, as not to prouoke, or discourage, but as a vessell (so profitable for vse) and as the weaker vessell, so with wise­dome to be gouerned. And this putteth a difference also, and ex­ceedeth the sonnes obedience, in boldnes, in kindnes and in equa­litie. 1. Cor. 7.4. The husband (saith the Apo­stle) hath not power ouer himself, but the wife: so then the wise hath that interest, in, and ouer the hus­band, (the faithfull and dutifull wife I meane) which neither the seruant nor son can require, nor the husband impart with any o­ther.

Hitherto (you will say) I haue wholly, as it were, intreated of y ^e dutie of the wife. And you will further say, I haue laid loade vpon their shoulders, who are the wea­ker vessels, longing, it may be, to heare the dutie of the husband in like sort set forth, to see what bonds he is to bee tied withall in [Page 80] his conuersation to his wife. It is true, that the further our duties are discouered vnto vs, the more grieuous and tedious it doth seeme vnto vs; each delighting to heare rather the others dutie, then their owne and proper dutie; the husband is pleased when y ^e wiues dutie is extended to the vttermost, and the wife likewise, when the husbands is enlarged; Jt is a good to­ken of a good spirit to delight in the [...]earing of our ovvne duties espe­cially. but this is no good signe either of a good husband, or a virtuous wife. The better husband, the more hee de­lighteth to see and vnderstand, both the properties of the good husband, that hee may the better follow them, and the qualities of the bad husband, that he may a­uoid them: The good wife like­wise hath her eyes bent to the things that may be excellent, that her obedience may bee perfect, caring altogether what is her owne dutie, and not what is her husbands. For whiles men and [Page 81] women are thus intent, and doe cast their eies on others, rather then vpon themselues, it is not possible they should be so careful of their owne duties as they ought to bee. Let the wife therefore desire nothing of the knowledge of her husbands, but of her owne, nor the husband of his wiues duty, but of his owne; nor any man of his neighbours du­tie, but of his owne. That is, not simplie, but in comparison. Thinke it too long that thou hearest ano­ther mans dutie described, and thine owne deferred, and delight in the inlarging of thine owne, and with the sight of thy defects, that thou maist abound in the knowledge of thine owne obe­dience, and leaue other mens bur­thens to their owne shoulders. Oh, say some, Vaine mens profiting. (when they haue heard a sermon), such a note tou­ched such a man to the quick, he was not better met withall a good while. But not a word touched [Page 82] himselfe, for that he let slip & flee ouer his head, as an arrow shot beyond him. This is not well, that we cast the wallet of our own sins behind vs, and hang other mens sins before; look vnto other mens duties, and neglect our owne.

But that I haue somewhat ta­ried vpon this point, of the cause of contention betweene man and wife, or laid forth the wiues dutie of subiection & obedience some­what largely, hath not been to op­presse the wife, or to put a sword into the hand of the husband to vpbraid his wife with her dutie; but partly to informe all godly and virtuous wiues, All good wiues desire to know their duties to the vttermost. what is hono­rable or dishonorable in them, which none that are virtuous, but doe desire to see; and principally to lay a sound foundation for the husband to build vpon. Which being thus laid, you shall now see what the building will arise to be.

Certainly, it cannot but be a most [Page 83] strong attractiue, and effectuall meane, to draw from the husband, 1. Cor. 7.3. that due beneuolēce which Gods word enioyneth him, were hee a very Nabal, 1. Sam. 1. much more (an El­kanah) an husband of wisedome and vnderstanding. We reade of no contention betweene Nabal and Abigail; though hee were said (and doubtlesse not without cause both by his seruants and his wife (shee being especially con­strained by his owne safetie to say it) being said (I say) to be so chur­lish and wicked, 1. Sam. 25.17. that one could not speake vnto him: the cause, or reason whereof, is not to be doub­ted, to bee in the virtue and wise­dome of his wife: who obseruing his nature, and waighing her own place, tooke alwaies opportunitie of time to contriue her affaires. When she had met Dauid, and pa­cified his wrath, did she presentlie runne with hue and crie vnto her husband? did she charge him [Page 84] with his folly, and churlish nature? you know she did not, but waited till hee were fit to bee enformed thereof. 1. Sam. 25.36. The very text saith, that when she came to the feast, and found him so well tipled and mer­rie, she told him nothing, more or lesse, not one word or inkeling (as wee say) vntill the morning. And what then? onely she related the danger, without note of any re­proofe or contention, onely to make him (as I conceiue) the wi­ser against another time. A note to be remembred. And surelie it were a very gratious and godlie care both in wiues to­wards their husbands, and like­wise againe in husbands towards their wiues, to obserue and waigh the natures each of other; and to take opportunitie and fitnes of time to speake each to other of such things, as each would ob­taine at others hands. If the hus­band be of an angrie or cholerick nature, is it any more for the [Page 85] wife, then to beare, as it were, a flash of heate? which, when the husband obserueth (as verily hee is a foole that could or would not note such a virtue in his wife) it would not onely be a meane the more speedily to quench y ^e heate, but to make double satisfactiō af­terward with loue & kindnes. But if in the heate and flame she shall powre in her oyle of frowardnesse and contention, in stead of the wa­ter of patience and pacification, is it any meruaile or wonder, if the house be set on fire?

The husband also must not disdaine to bee counselled by his wife, to heare her reasons, and to waigh her words. Eccles. 4.9. For she is giuen for an helper, two are better then one; & God (many times) reueales that to the wife, that hee doth not to the husband. Gen. 21.12. Abraham heark­ned to Sarah in y ^e matter of Ha­gar and Ismael; he was bid of the Lord to giue eare vnto her. And [Page 86] did not Manoahs wife strengthen him, after the sight of the Angell and the sacrifice which he had of­fered, who feared that they should die because they had seene the Lord? which feare she put away with a most wise reason, saying: If the Lord would kill vs, Iudg. 13.23. he would not haue receiued a burnt offering, and a meate offering at our hands; nei­ther would hee haue shewed vs all these things, nor would haue told vs any such, &c. And what is that honour that S. 1. Pet. 3.7. Peter speaketh of, which the husband (being a man of vnderstanding) should giue vn­to his wife, but (amongst other things) regard vnto her aduice? al­waies prouided that shee counsell not as did Iobes wife, Iob. 2.9. to blesse God and die: nor with Michol dis­daine at his zeale, and godlines; but counselling wisely, she is as a counseller to be heard and hono­red. Neither commeth Salomons counsell short of this, when hee [Page 87] biddeth the husband to giue his virtuous wife the fruite of her hands, that is, being wise, virtuous and prouident, let her bee com­mended & trusted for such a wife. And put case there bee not to bee found all those absolute qualities of that virtuous wife, in her whom thou hast chosen to bee thy wife, but some infirmities, A rule for the husband to beare with the wiues infirmi­ties. (yea many infirmities,) to beare with hers (as it becommeth the wise husband to doe) consider thine owne that she must, and doth beare with in thee: if thine be more then hers, thou canst not bee grieued to beare hers; if hers bee more then thine, she is said to bee the weaker vessell, and thou the stronger, that the bigger horse might beare the heauier loade. Beare with the homelines of the similitude. Why hath God made thee the stronger but to beare the frailties and infirmities of thy wife? for a man the wiues, or a wife the husbands, for either (I meane) to discouer others infir­mities [Page 88] (by way of reproch) is the greatest reproch that can fall to either. Except it be in such a case, as wherein Salomon saith her cor­ruptions cannot be hid: Prou. 27.16. but He that would hide them, hideth the wind, and she is as oyle in his right hand that vttereth it selfe. The husband must dwell with his wife as a man of vnderstanding, 1. Pet. 3.7. that is, as one that hath vnderstanding so to gouerne, that hee giue not oc­casion by foolishnes to be despi­sed, nor by ouermuch seueritie to be hated or feared.

That care, which before I ob­serued, that the husband and wife should duely marke each others disposition and nature, ought es­pecially to begin betimes in thē. For (if for want thereof) they fall once vnto contention, and each by contention, to take dislike of other, it will grow (without great grace) in either, or both, vnto hardnes of heart; and then ano­ther [Page 89] kind of marking each others nature will ensue: Namely, not to preuent euill or contention, but to deuise euill and contention; and so this counsell and remedie come to late. Prou. 17.14. Therefore doth Sa­lomon giue this counsell, where he compareth the beginning of strife to bee like one that openeth the waters, that is, maketh a breach in­to a banke or bay of waters; therefore saith he, Or euer conten­tion be medled with, leaue off. Vers. 14. If this doe hold in common contenti­ons and of any nature, much more in this ciuill and household strife. It is wisedome sometimes to seeme guiltie in some cause, Great vvise­dome to seeme guiltie some­times for a season, vvhere one is guiltles. ei­ther the wife towards the hus­band, or the husband towards the wife, during the time of wrath, if it bee once kindled or inflamed, and to pacifie rather by intreating then excusing or cleering: for which, opportunitie of time cānot but afterward be found to cleare, [Page 90] and which cannot but be percei­ued to bee done by great wise­dome.

A speciall du­tie in the hus­band.It is certainelie a great encou­raging of the wife, where the hus­band maketh his loue to appeare by sound effects: shewing that he regardeth her dutie, obserueth her labour, pitieth her paines, considereth her weakenes, and would lighten her yoke and bur­then, by any meanes he could; that he trusteth her, and is not lightly or vniustly iealous of her: not ex­acting too narrow an account of her domesticall affaires, but as if she were himselfe, who is indeede become one with himself, his half self or other self; euē so to be per­swaded of her trueth and faithful­nes. Prou. 31.29. Many daughters haue done virtuouslie, but thou (saith Salo­mon) surmountest them all: There the husband obserueth the labors, trauails, night-watchings, and early risings of his wife, which [Page 91] were spoken of before) and lastlie doth crowne, and commend them in her. The contrarie neglecting of all the poore wiues trauaile, taketh away her heart, breedeth discontentment, & maketh weake her hands: and for either the wife ouer the husband, or y ^e husband o­uer the wife, to be attainted with y ^t filthy sin of iealousie, Beware of causelesse iea­lousie. is y ^e next way to cause either to fall into the sin.

It is an hard taske, to meete with all the inconueniences of the marriage state, or to applie pre­uentions to all the euills that may be feared therein, which S. Pauls wordes imported, when (hauing said, [such shall haue tribulation in the flesh] he added withall, but I spare you. 1. Cor. 7.28. I spare to relate all the dangers that I could. But surely [...]he most principall meane to pre­ [...]ent them, is the obseruing of the [...]rdinance of God: and the gene­ [...]all cause of euill vnto man and wife, is, (as hath bin said) the in­uerting [Page 92] of the same. If the husband rule with loue, and the wise obey with cheerefulnes, and either of them be contented with their lot & portion in each other, then must the yoke needs go easie. But if the wife will vsurpe, and not acknow­ledge her head & king, or will not vse the fittest meanes for her rule and libertie; or hauing what shee would, cannot (or will not) vse it to her husbands honor, & thus lay a foundation of contention and strife, Gods wisedome is despised, it cannot be well.

Whereupon I doe exhort you both (as my most deere friends, whom as I daily pray for, so would I bee glad to see the fruits of my prayers in the happines of your e­state) I say, I doe exhort you vn­to those mutual duties which con­cerne you both. You (Mistris Lucie) to wise subiection, to lo­uing, and Christian reuerence, to faithfull and dutifull obedience: [Page 93] which shall not onely bee your crowne of glorie amongst the godly wise, as it was Sarahs com­mendation by the holy Ghost to be obedient to her husband; but if you desire to rule and to be tru­sted with all your husband hath, this is the way, and there is no o­ther. If you thus say, giue me the sword, you shall haue both it, and all assistance to vse it; but if you will striue to wrest it out of your husbands hand, you will not only misse your desire, but take hurt by striuing. Thus your godly sub­iection shal gaine you more liber­tie, ease, honour, and lawfull go­uernment, then all the contention in the world can bring to passe: and hate both the name and na­ture of a contentious wife; re­member shee is, as an incureable dropping, and intollerable. Be­sides, to rule a familie with the husbands assignement, is a great honour to the wife: but to beare [Page 94] sway against his will and fauour, no greater shame. Such wiues are scoffed at, as their husbands ma­sters, & such husbands esteemed but vnwise and foolish.

And you (Master Geruoyse) as my deere friend, I counsell vnto the vnderstanding of a man of wisedome. 1. Pet. 3.7. Know your wife to be a vessell, therefore necessarie; I wil not say (as one saith) a necessarie euill, for I trust shee shall bee that virtuous wife, that shall doe her husband good and not euill, al the daies of her life; but I doubt not to say, a necessarie vessell for fruit vnto Gods glorie; a vessell, when you are full of sorrowes, to helpe beare them, and ease you. A ves­sel, to containe your counsels, and instructions, Iudg. 14.18. & not to be plough­ed with, by any aduersarie, but as a faithfull bulwarke against all ad­uersaries. Yet being withall the weaker vessell, shee must bee ten­dered accordingly. Our most pre­tious [Page 95] vessels, (whether glasse or gold) are commonly the weakest, by reason, either of nature, or workemanship, & those we most precisely order, not roughly, or carelessely. To a virtuous woman, there is no vessell, no iewell com­parable; count her therefore the cheefest vessell in your house that must containe your selfe and all your treasures. Her price, Prou. 31.10. saith Sa­lomon, is aboue the pearles; shew not your rough and manlike cou­rage (like Lamech) to your wife, but to your enemie. You are both but one, therefore be both but as one. Looke not so much what is required of her, as what is due to her from your selfe. Gen. 20.16. You are the couering of her eies, which must defend her, not oppresse her. She is of godly, wise, and worshipfull stocke and parentage; her yeeres haue been seasoned hitherto with the salt of godly education; and therefore the fitter for your wise­dome [Page 96] to worke vpon; make you the worke perfect, and you shall haue both the honour and the comfort of the worke. To bee briefe, what is wanting in her, (yeeres being considered) that may derogate from the title of a virtuous wife? this I speake to you, not to her, [...]ishing my words to be esteemed as farre from flattery, as mine heart is from hypocrisie in that I speake. You are both in the fittest time to begin an hap­pie estate; lay therefore the foun­dation according to Gods holie word, and the building shall bee glorious. Let that be the rule of both your duties, and know that God is most wise in directing both your states.

Thus whiles you both regard the duties of your seuerall places, ioyntly towards y ^e Lord first, then mutually towards one another, how easie will the burthen of your familie and callings be vnto you? [Page 97] the equal draught, maketh y ^• bur­ [...]hen light. What an example will [...] be to seruants, to children, to [...]eighbours, to friends, yea to all [...]en, to be followed & commen­ [...]ed? So that, Matth. 6.33. you first seeke the [...]ingdom of heauen and the righ­ [...]eousnes therof, the glorie of your God, in a religious profession of [...]is name, all other things, (as wis­ [...]ome, vnderstanding, riches, and [...]rue pleasures) shall bee cast vpon [...]ou. You shall be most happie first [...] this present life, & more happie [...]boue happines in y ^e life to come. Which is the scope of this my [...]ender labour and dutie vnto you [...]oth: slender I call it, for so it is: [...]nd my dutie I doe acknowledge [...], for diuers causes which I will [...]mi [...]. I professe euer plainenes and [...]ruth, not eloquēce or deep know­ [...]d [...]ge in any of my writings. And [...]o I commend you both to the be­ [...]efit of all instruction, and al vnto Gods glory in Iesus Christ. Amen.