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Am I good at English? The answer depends on whom I ask, of course. My English teachers in school apparently found a satisfyingly good pupil in me, since they always gave me the highest grade. But real life does not provide such a simple scale. If I ask myself about my skills in English, the picture gets a lot more complex, and definitely not as bright and sunny as the grades might suggest.
	First of all, assessing one's skills in a language is not the easiest thing in the world. When practising a language, you are normally not aware of this practice in itself, since most part of the mind is concentrated on the information being communicated through the use of language. Moreover, the parts of language communication where you fail are even more difficult to be aware of, simply because you don't know them. So when it comes to evaluating your ability, you're left with a vague feeling of how you manage.
	As I mentioned before, in my case, grades in English do not correspond with experienced abilities. This is especially the case when I speak English. Speaking implies a situation where I haven't got the time to correct grammar, look up words and so on. But as I do try to speak good English, the act of speaking demands a lot of energy. The worst thing about it, though, is not all the grammar faults that are most surely to come out of my mouth. No, it's the feeling of being unable to express myself in a - to me - satisfying way. This is particularly obvious when it comes to strong feelings. How do I get angry in English? How do I express curiosity, eagerness, passion, or fear?
	But in fact, there is a plausible explanation to why speaking is the worst part of my English. So far, it's the part I have been practicing the least. And I am not that bad either. I am able to communicate most everyday matters in spoken English, and perform some reasoning as well. Usually, I can make myself clear, and I guess that is the most important thing.
	If we stick to spoken language, listening is much easier than speaking. In general, I think I am fairly good at listening and understanding English. But of course, it depends a lot on how fast the English is spoken. My understanding is also affected by the subject. And, maybe even more, it depends on the accent. I feel much more secure when I listen to American English, because of all the practice I have from watching films and series on TV. I think I am most unsecure when listening to British dialects, like Cockney, or Scottish.
	As for reading, I think I'm a pretty skilled reader of English texts. Here, I've also had quite a good deal of practice. I really enjoy reading English, just as I like listening to the spoken language. In these situations, I don't have to accomplish anything myself, so I can stay in the language without any precautions, for as long as I like. To me, reading English is quite physical; it is like exploring a mysterious country. However, the switch from my ordinary world to this country of English books is not an absolutely painless move. First of all, there is a certain start energy needed when going into a text in English, be it fiction or non-fiction. And even if I do follow most texts, a dictionary has - so far - never failed to be needed. All these words! Especially verbs and adjectives; an immense amount of them. This is a major obstacle for me when I read English texts. Sometimes I try to check all the words I don't understand. But even if I do, of course I soon forget them, if I don't find them again. 
	Finally, writing in English is not as enjoyable as reading, but much less painful than speaking. This is partly because when I write, there is time to think. And thinking is something I really like. A general strength of mine, which I guess is important when it comes to writing, is an ability to arrange my thoughts according to some kind of logic. What makes me feel even more secure when writing, is the fact that I can use a dictionary, and I don't have to bother about pronunciation. But using a dictionary is maybe too tempting; what I really would like to achieve is to write fluently with words of my own, that is, being able to cope without a dictionary. 
	So, once again: Am I good at English? My answer throughout this essay has been both yes and no. I do speak, write and understand English fairly well - but there is still an immense amount of things to learn. Which is, after all, not that bad! I have every hope of making good progress. I just need the courage and energy to practice over and over again.
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