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<title> Little Lost Lily </title>
The tragicomic story of the life of Lily Bart is a vivid example of somebody losing control over her life. In fact, in Lily's case it can be argued whether she ever had any control at all. Since Lily was born into a lifestyle of glamour, luxury, external beauty and excessive wealth, and her mother teaches her to despise all other values, Lily from the very beginning is 'forced' into a certain kind of life. This life, in a society dictated by wealthy men and their bored, competitive wives, requires total adaptation of anyone who wishes to participate. Thus, by being born into it and being determined to stay in it - since she knows nothing else - Lily, in many aspects, gives up her own free will. In this essay I will give examples of how society controls Lily, even when it seems to be the other way around. But I will also present an important event in the novel where Lily actually refuses to be controlled and takes her destiny in her own hands.
Lily Bart's mother, a woman who loved wealth and money as much as she hated "dinginess", brings up Lily to develop the same tastes and opinions as herself. She probably means well, but by showing so much contempt for a "normal" lifestyle, she practically scares Lily into chasing wealth. It is as if Lily throughout her life is guided - or maybe haunted - by the words of her mother: "Don't let it creep up on you and drag you down. Fight your way out of it somehow - you 're young and can do it," (35) Here her mother refers to dinginess, poverty and everything else not associated with wealth. By giving Lily this 'order' she forces her into a lifestyle that almost totally takes control over Lily. It might seem as Lily makes a lot of choices of her own, but in fact she seldom is left with any alternatives; in order to stay in the right social circles she must make certain decisions. One of these decisions is to get married.
A girl should marry. And to remain socially acceptable in Lily's circle she should marry well. There is no doubt that this is also required of Lily, regardless if she wants to marry or not. After failing too many times in finding a suitable husband, Lily's 'friends' start talking and gossiping and she risks ending up outside the only world she knows of. As Lily eventually finds a suitable candidate, Mr. Gryce, she looks at herself as his future possession: "... she determined to be to him what his Americana had hitherto been: the one possession in which he took sufficient pride to spend money on it." (49) This shows that even Lily looks at herself, and women in general, as mere ornaments, and in order to get away from poverty she must totally please her future husband. She must follow the rules created by society and men to be able to please society and men. So, even if Lily may have some control over the men she tries to please - and she apparently has - it is merely a superficial control - if she fails to please, she is doomed.
Ironically, when the rich and luxurious society occasionally loses its grasp of Lily it is because of a man, but not her expected husband-to-be. Mr. Selden sees through Lily and makes her - even if only temporarily - look at her friends through completely different eyes. After talking to Selden she suddenly finds them "... merely loud in a dull way" and totally without brilliant qualities.(55) Selden opens Lily's eyes and she grows to like him very much, maybe even love him, but out of fear of being excluded from the inner circle she realises she can't marry him. She can't follow her feelings, the glamorous society has got her in its firm grasp. (On the other hand, Selden later becomes the reason why Lily breaks lose from society, but I will return to that further down.) But her devotion for him also ruins her chances of marrying Mr. Gryce.
Thus, little by little things start going wrong for Lily. Rumours of her borrowing money from Mr. Trenor and even having an affair with him damages her reputation as a high-society girl. As Lily's status keeps declining she is suddenly saved by the bell - she receives and accepts an invitation to a Mediterranean cruise with the Dorsets (179). The accepting of the invitation might seem as Lily's own choice, but once again it should be seen as the only possible choice in order for her to remain in the upper-class society she is used to. Once again, the control lies out of her own hands.
A good example of how cruelly things could work in the circles of 'rich people in New York' is given on page 229, when Lily and her friend Gerty meet a party of Lily's old friends led by the Trenors, at a fine restaurant. At this point Lily has returned from Europe and is now being accused of having had an affair with Mr. Dorset. This is a rumour most people know is false, but it is more convenient to believe in the accuser than in Lily, since she has already slipped a long way down the social ladder:
Trenor, red and uncomfortable, had cut short his salutations on a pretext of a word to say to the head-waiter; and the rest of the group soon melted away in Mrs. Trenors wake.
It was over in a moment [...] - but Miss Bart in the interval, had taken the measure of her fate. Where Judy Trenor led, all the world would follow; and Lily had the doomed sense of the castaway who has signalled in vain to fleeing sails.
At this point there is no doubt that Lily has lost almost all her status and is descending even more and she feels it. This is what she has been trying to avoid all her life, and it is important to know this in order to understand why Lily so badly wants to be accepted by the 'right people'.
The actions Lily take after the incident at the restaurant are very desperate. She turns once again to a man, Mr. Rosedale in hope of "tricking" him into marrying her. He is her only hope to regain her social status. She sets all her hopes to being rescued by a man - she can not do it by herself. But she is being too confident in her powers over men. Mr. Rosedale refuses to marry her, because he is afraid that due to her bad reputation, his status will decline too: "Why should I mind saying I want to get into society? [...] But I know the quickest way to queer yourself with the right people is to be seen with the wrong ones; and that is the reason I want to avoid mistakes." (256) Ironically, the man Lily once rejected partly because his social status was questionable, now rejects her due to her poor status.
At this stage Selden plays an important role. Lily could actually save her status by revealing some letters proving that Mrs. Dorset have tried to win Selden's love. Instead, Lily burns the letters and loses her last chance of ever going back to a life full of luxury and abundance. In this way she reveals her true feelings for Selden, or at least she admits them to herself. And, most importantly, this is the first time, in my opinion, that Lily really breaks free and acts on her own, regardless of what consequences her actions may have. It also becomes the last time she does this, since she dies shortly afterwards.
I think it is safe to say that the destiny of Lily Bart would have been a different one if only her mother had raised her in a wiser way. Because Lily is taught that there is only one life worth living, a life of wealth and luxury, her path in life becomes very narrow. To be able to follow that path she has to make certain almost predestined choices. From the very beginning of her life she is being controlled; by her own actions, perhaps, but they in turn are controlled by society. Not until Lily's social disaster more or less is a fact she dares follow her own mind in a broader sense. Her death may or may not be the result of this - but, on the other hand, after having given up her last chance of reaching the only life she knows how to lead, she also may have given up the only purpose of her life.
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