<< *105 . FRANK NORMAN : INSIDEOUT . PLAYS AND PLAYERS , FEB RUARY 1970 . P. 61 - 78 . FIRST PERF. : 261169 . CHAR. : 01 TOOLS GUNSTONE , 02 PSYCHOLOGIST , 03 TOMMIE WHITE , 04 CHIE F OFFICER EVANS , 05 MR MANZIE , 06 PRINCIPAL OFFICER , 07 C OMMANDER PEMBERTON , 08 MURPHY , 09 BOVIS , 10 TRUSTY , 11 J ENKINS , 12 FYFE , 13 MOSS , 14 TANGERINE , 15 MARIGOLD , 16 FITZROY , 17 OLD BAG , 18 CHAPLAIN , 19 SPADE , 20 AXE , 21 LIONEL , 22 MR STOUTE , 23 MR KING , 24 BILLY , 25 ROSE GUN STONE . >> $ #61 22 I 'M JUST GOING OFF DUTY , MR EVANS . $ 04 ALRIGHT MR STOUTE I 'LL BOOK THE RECEPTIONS IN . $ 22 WILL YOU BE DOWN THE CLUB LATER ! $ 04 IT DEPENDS HOW LONG IT TAKES TO GET THEM SLAMMED UP . $ 22 IT 'S THE SEMI-FINALS OF THE SNOOKER TOURNAMENT TONIGHT , SIR . $ WE 'RE PLAYING BRIXTON . $ 04 TELL ME , HOW DO YOU PLAY SNOOKER WITH THAT . $ 22 I USE A REST MR EVANS . $ GOOD NIGHT , SARH . $ 04 GOOD NIGHT MR STOUTE . $ 04 HOW MANY ON MR MANZI . $ 05 EIGHT ON , SIR . $ 04 SESSIONS IN THE OLD BAILEY P.O. $ GET THEM DARBIES OFF THEM , MR MANZI $ 05 SARH ! $ 04 ANSWER YOUR NAMES - MURPHY ! $ 08 MURPHY . $ 04 MURPHY WHAT ? $ 08 SEAN MURPHY , SIR ? $ 04 WHAT 'S YOUR SENTENCE , SON ? $ 08 TWENTY ONE MONTHS , SIR . $ 04 PONTOON , GO OVER THERE AND GET YOUR PROPERTY CHECKED . $ 06 NAME ? $ 08 SEAN MURPHY , SIR . $ 06 GET STRIPPED OFF . $ 06 SENTENCE ? $ 08 TWENTY ONE MONTHS , SIR . $ ONE GREY JACKET GOOD CONDITION . $ ONE PAIR OF TROUSERS ... $ GOOD CONDITION . $ 08 IT 'S A GREY WORSTED , TWO PIECE SUIT , SIR . $ 06 SHUT YOUR MOUTH . $ ONE WHITE SHIRT . $ VEST , PANTS , SOCKS , TIE . $ YOU GOT ANY MONEY OR VALUABLES , LAD ? $ 08 NO , SIR , I 'M FLAT SKINT , SIR . $ 06 DID I ASK YOU IF YOU WAS SKINT , LAD ? $ 08 NO SIR , BUT ... $ 06 BUT NOTHING , LAD . $ SIGN HERE . $ WHAT DENOMINATION ARE YOU ? $ 08 R.C. SIR . $ 06 RIGHT GET YOUR BATH . $ NEXT ! $ 12 HOW LONG ARE YOU DOING OLD CHAP ? $ 04 YOU THERE SHUT YOUR FACE BEFORE I PUT MY FIST IN IT . $ 09 I WEREN'T TALKING , SIR , AT LEAST I DON'T THINK I WAS , SIR . $ 04 DON'T ARGUE WITH A PRISON OFFICER , LAD . $ 09 BUT SIR , IT WASN'T ME SIR . $ IF I HAD BEEN TALKING I WOULD HAVE HEARD MESELF WOULDN'T I , WELL PERHAPS I WOULDN'T 'AVE HEARD MESELF IF I 'D BIN WHISP ERIN' SIR , THAT IS IF I 'M NOT MISTAKEN , SIR . $ #62 $ 04 NAME AND SENTENCE , LAD ? $ 09 HENRY BOVIS IS MY NAME , SIR , AT LEAST THAT IS WHAT I 'V E ALWAYS BIN CALLED EVER SINCE I WAS A BABY , SIR . $ 04 SENTENCE , LAD ? $ WHAT 'S YOUR SENTENCE ? $ 09 FREE YEARS I THINK THE JUDGE SAID , SIR . $ 06 NEXT . $ 09 UNLESS I 'M VERY MUCH MISTAKEN , SIR , THAT IS UNLESS HE SAID THREE MONTHS WHICH I THINK IS EXTREMELY UNLIKELY , SIR , UNLESS I 'M WRONG . $ WHICH I DON'T THINK I AM , SIR . $ 04 TAKE THAT MAN'S NAME , MR MANZI . $ I WANT HIM ON THE GOVERNOR'S REPORT IN THE MORNING . $ 09 I WASN'T TALKING , SIR . $ 05 NAME ? $ 09 HENRY BOVIS IS MY FULL NAME SIR . $ 06 WELL DON'T JUST STAND THERE . $ GET YOUR CLOTHES OFF . $ MY LIFE I DON'T KNOW WHAT THIS PLACE IS COMING TO STRAIGHT U P I DON'T . $ 04 WELL , WELL , WELL IF IT ISN'T MY OLD FRIEND TOOLS GUNSTO NE ... $ 01 WOTCHA GUV 'OW YA BIN ? $ 04 NOT AT ALL BAD , GUNSTONE , NOT AT ALL BAD . $ TELL ME , HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO BE STAYING WITH US THIS TIME ? $ IF IT 'S NOT A RUDE QUESTION . $ 01 QUITE A WHILE , GUV , QUITE A WHILE . $ THEY BUNGED ME A NEVES UP THE BAILEY THIS MORNIN' . $ 04 SEVEN YEARS . $ NOW ISN'T THAT A TERRIBLE THING , THERE IS NO JUSTICE ANYWHE RE THESE DAYS . $ 01 YOU 'RE QUITE RIGHT , GUV , THERE AIN'T . $ 06 BELT OR BRACES . $ 07 BELT , SIR . $ 06 DENOMINATION ? $ 07 C OF E , SIR . $ I THINK . $ 06 SIGN HERE . $ GET BATHED . $ NEXT ! $ NAME . $ 12 JAMES WILLS FYFE , SIR . $ 06 GET STRIPPED OFF . $ SENTENCE ? $ 12 ONE MONTH , THREE MONTHS , FOUR MONTHS . $ ONE YEAR AND EIGHT MONTHS TO RUN CONCURRENTLY , SIR . $ 06 ONE YEAR . $ EIGHT MONTHS . $ VERY GOOD OF YOU TO KEEP THE POLICE RECORDS STRAIGHT I 'M SU RE . $ GET YOUR GEAR OFF . $ 12 I 'M ALWAYS GLAD TO BE OF ASSISTANCE , SIR . $ 04 YES , GUNSTONE , I 'VE BEEN READING ABOUT YOU IN THE PAPE RS . $ 01 I ALWAYS WAS ME OWN BEST PRESS AGENT , GUV . $ 04 NICKING MAILBAGS OFF PADDINGTON STATION WASN'T IT ? $ 01 YEAH THAT 'S RIGHT , GUV , I NEVER DID LIKE MAILBAGS LESS IN' THEY WAS FULL OF MONEY ... $ 04 WELL NOW YOU 'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SEW THEM IN THE HEAVY E MBROIDERY SHOP FOR THE NEXT FOUR AND HALF YEARS AREN'T YOU . $ 01 I 'D RATHER BE BARF ORDERLY DAHN ' OLLOWAY , GUV . $ 04 STILL A COMEDIAN ARE YOU , GUNSTONE ? $ 01 WEL YA GOTTA LARF IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY AIN'T 'CHA , G UV ? $ 04 I 'M GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING GUNSTONE . $ I AM GOING TO MAKE IT MY OWN PERSONAL BUSINESS TO REFORM YOU THIS TIME ... $ 01 THAT 'S VERY KIND OF YA I 'M SURE , MR EVANS , BUT I WOUL DN'T WONNA PUTCHA TO A LOT OF TROUBLE ON MY BEHALF . $ I MEAN TO SAY YOU 'VE GOT ALL THEM FIRST OFFENDERS TO FINGK ABAHT AIN'T 'CHA ? $ 04 NO TROUBLE AT ALL GUNSTONE , ALL PART OF THE SERVICE . $ 06 ONE PAIR OF BLACK SHOES SLIGHTLY WORN . $ WHAT 'S THIS THEN ? $ 12 IT 'S A PHOTOGRAPH OF MY YOUNG LADY , SIR . $ 06 WELL IT WILL BE A LONG TIME BEFORE YOU 'RE SLIPPING HER A BENDER AGAIN . $ SHE LOOKS A RIGHT DARLING DON'T SHE . $ AS A MATTER OF FACT I WOULDN'T MIND GIVING HER A SEEING TO M ESELF . $ I MEAN TO SAY WITH YOU ROASTING IN HERE SHE MIGHT BE IN REAL NEED OF A MAN ... $ 12 I SAY THAT WASN'T VERY POLITE OF YOU SIR . $ 06 I DO BELIEVE WE 'VE UPSET HIM . $ DEMOMINATION , LAD ? $ 12 CHURCH OF ENGLAND . $ I MUST ASK YOU NOT TO BE SO OFFENSIVE , SIR . $ 06 WELL , WELL , I DO BELIEVE WE HAVE A GENT IN OUR MIDST . $ SIGN HERE , GET YOUR BATH . $ NEXT ? $ NAME ? $ 19 REBUB OYONO M'BIA SARH . $ 06 WHAT ? $ 19 REBUB OYONO M'BIA SARH . $ 06 HOW DO YOU SPELL IT ? $ 19 YOUS A REAL SAD SQUARE SARH DUN YA KNOWS HOW T' SPELL REB UB R-E-B-U-B- O-Y-O-N-O M FO MAN SARH B-I-A . $ AN THAT 'S HOW YOUS SPELL MY NAME SARH . $ 06 CUT OUT THE COMEDY . $ WHAT 'S YOUR SENTENCE ? $ 19 MAN I 'M DOIN' A LIFE SENTENCE , I 'VE BIN DOIN' IT SINCE THE DAY I WAS BORN AND I 'LL DO IT TILL I DIES . $ BUT I RECKON I 'LL BE HERE FO' A YEAR SARH , IT 'S AS COOL A SCENE AS WORKIN' FO' LONDON TRANSPORT . $ 06 TURN YOUR POCKETS OUT . $ 19 YUS SARH . $ 04 GET THAT SCHWARTZE BOOKED IN , P.O. ; WE HAVEN'T GOT ALL NIGHT . $ SHUT UP THE LOT OF YOU ! $ 04 WHAT 'S YOUR NAME , SON ? $ 03 WHITE . $ 04 WHITE WHAT ? $ 01 WHITE WASH ... $ 04 VERY COMICAL , GUNSTONE . $ WHITE WHAT ? $ 03 TOMMIE WHITE . $ 04 IS THAT WHAT YOUR MOTHER CALLS YOU ? $ 03 I NEVER 'AD NO MOTHER . $ 04 NOW ISN'T THAT A TERRIBLE SHAME . $ 03 I DUNNO . $ I AIN'T NEVER HAD ONE , YOU DON'T MISS WOT YOU 'VE NEVER 'AD DO YA ? $ 04 VERY TRUE , LAD , VERY TRUE . $ NOW TELL ME , DON'T YOU KNOW THAT YOU ADDRESS A PRISON OFFIC ER AS SIR ! $ 03 YUS SIR , I FERGOT SIR . $ 04 WE 'VE GOT A PLACE FOR PEOPLE WHO FORGET . $ ISN'T THAT RIGHT , GUNSTONE ? $ 01 DEFINITELY , SIR . $ 06 NEXT . $ 04 THIS YOUR FIRST BIT OF BIRD , WHITE ? $ 03 YUS SIR . $ 04 KEEP YOUR NOSE CLEAN AND YOU WON'T GET INTO ANY TROUBLE . $ 06 NAME ? $ 01 GUNSTONE , SIR . $ 22 GET YOUR CLOTHES OFF , TOOLS . $ 01 WOT IN FRONT OF ALL THESE NASTY MEN , SIR . $ 22 COME ON GUNSTONE DON'T PISS ABOUT , JUST GET STRIPPED OFF . $ 01 I BET YOU SAY THAT TO ALL THE GIRLS . $ 22 WHAT 'S ALL THAT , THEN , YOU DIDN'T HAVE IT THE LAST TIM E YOU WAS IN HERE , DID YOU ? $ 01 NO , I NEVER , I KNEW I 'D GET NICKED SOMETIME , SO I GOT ME OLD WOMAN TATTOOED ON ME CHEST , COS I GOT BROWNED ORF W IV BEIN' IN ME PETER ALL ON ME TOD LAST TIME . $ 22 YOU GOT ANY SNOUT ON YA ? $ 01 VERY COMICAL I MUST SAY , WHERE DO YOU FINGK I 'VE GOT IT ? STUFFED UP ME 'ARRIS ? $ 06 SIGN HERE . $ NEXT . $ GO ON GET YOUR BATH . $ GET STRIPPED OFF . $ NAME . $ 03 TOMMIE WHITE , SIR . $ IT 'S A NEW JACKET , SIR , DO YOU THINK IT COULD BE PUT ON A COAT HANGER . $ 06 CERTAINLY SON , THIS IS THE SAVOY HOTEL ISN'T IT . $ 10 ONE BLACK JACKET . $ 06 COME ON SON , GET YOUR STRIDES DOWN , WE HAVEN'T GOT ALL NIGHT . $ 03 I 'M BEING AS FAST AS I CAN , SIR . $ 06 JUST GET A MOVE ON AND LESS OF YOUR LIP , LAD . $ 10 ONE PAIR OF BLACK TROUSERS , VELVET FRAYED TURN-UPS . $ ONE SHIRT BLUE , BELT LEATHER , BLACK SHOES HEELS BADLY WORN . $ #63 06 ANY VALUABLES OR MONEY ? $ 03 SIX AND EIGHT , SIR . $ 06 ONE COMB , ONE LIGHTER , ONE WALLET , TWO FLORINS SILVER , TWO SIXPENCES SILVER , TWO THREEPENNY BITS NICKEL , ONE SH ILLING SILVER , AND TWO PENNIES COPPER . $ SIGN HERE . $ ALRIGHT GET YOUR BATH . $ NEXT . $ NAME ? $ 13 ERIC MOSS SIR . $ 05 GET A MOVE ON . $ WE 'VE GOT HOMES TO GO TO EVEN IF YOU HAVEN'T . $ 12 PLEASE MAY I HAVE A DROP MORE WATER , SIR ? $ 05 NO YOU CAN'T . $ YOU 'RE A CRIMINAL . $ 23 COME ALONG YOU LOT HURRY UP AND GET BATHED . $ THE M.O. WILL BE HERE IN A MINUTE . $ 06 ONE WATCH YELLOW METAL . $ 13 THAT 'S GOLD THAT IS , SIR . $ 06 ONE WATCH YELLOW METAL . $ THIS YOURS ? $ 13 YES SIR . $ 06 LOOKS KNOCKED OFF T'ME . $ 13 IT AIN'T BENT IT BELONGED TO ME GRANDFATHER . $ 04 MR KING , GET THESE MEN MOVING . $ WE HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY . $ 23 SARH . $ 08 HOW LONG YOU DOING ? $ 12 I 'M RUNNING CONCURRENTLY I SHOULD BE OUT IN A YEAR , IF I EARN MY FULL REMISSION . $ 04 MR KING , TAKE THAT MAN'S NAME , FOR TALKING . $ I 'LL SEE THAT HE GETS THREE DAYS' BREAD AND WATER . $ 06 NEXT . $ NAME ? $ 16 DAVID FITZROY . $ 06 TAKE THAT OFF . $ 16 I CAN'T STAND UP WITHOUT IT . $ 06 I CAN'T HELP THAT , MATE , I 'VE GOT TO SEARCH IT TO MAKE SURE YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING HID IN IT . $ GET HIM A STOOL . $ 04 WHAT THE HELL IS THAT MAN DOING SITTING DOWN ? $ STAND UP YOU NASTY INDIVIDUAL ' $ 16 I CAN'T , SIR . $ 04 STAND UP . $ 06 HE 'S A CRIPPLE , SIR . $ 04 STAND UP . $ TAKE THAT STOOL AWAY . $ GO ON GO AND GET BATHED . $ GET READY FOR MEDICAL INSPECTION . $ 01 WOT 'S IT FEEL LIKE TER BE BLACK , SON ? $ 19 WHAT YOU SAY MAN ? $ 01 WOT I MEAN IS WOT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TER 'AVE THAT BLACK S KIN ALL OVER YA . $ LIKE ALL COVERED WIV IT FROM 'EAD T' TOE LIKE A COAT OF TAR ? $ 19 DUNNO MAN , WOT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TER BE WHITE ? $ 01 PERSONALLY , THERE 'S TWO FINGS I CAN'T STAND - RACIAL PR EJUDICE AND BLEEDING NIGGERS . $ 19 THAT 'S A FUNNY JOKE MAN . $ BUT DON'T BLOW YA COOL . $ 04 STAND TO ATTENTION FOR THE MEDICAL OFFICER . $ ALL PRESENT AND CORRECT SIR !! $ 27 I 'LL SEE THE FIRST ONE WHEN YOU 'RE READY , MR EVANS . $ 04 SARH ! $ FIRST ONE . $ FULL NAME TO THE DOCTOR . $ 08 SEAN MURPHY , SIR . $ 27 COUGH . $ BEND OVER , AND TOUCH YOUR TOES . $ LEGS APART . $ 27 HAVE YOU EVER HAD V.D. ? $ 08 NO SIR . $ 27 NEXT . $ 09 HENRY BOVIS IS MY FULL NAME SIR . $ HENRY BOVIS . $ 27 COUGH . $ BEND OVER AND TOUCH YOUR TOES . $ 09 YES SIR FANK YOU SIR , I 'D BE PLEASED TO WELL PERHAPS NO T PLEASED TO SO MUCH AS NOT MINDING . $ WELL I DO MIND I THINK SIR , BEGGIN' YOUR PARDON SIR IT 'S N OT THAT I 'M REALLY AGAINST IT , THOUGH I EXPECT IT WOULD BE CORRECT TO SAY THAT I AM SOMETHIMES . $ 27 HAVE YOU EVER HAD V.D. ? $ 09 YOU MEAN PERSONALLY SIR ? $ 27 YES YOU . $ 09 WELL , I 'VE EITHER HAD IT OR I 'AVEN'T SIR , I THINK THA T ... $ 04 SHUT YOUR MOUTH . $ DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD . $ 27 HE 'S SUFFERING FROM HYPOMANIA MR. EVANS . $ A MILD MANIC PSHYCHOSIS INVOLVING PRESSURE OF TALK AND APPAR ENT INEXHAUSTIBILITY OF SPEAKING . $ HE SHOULD REALLY HAVE HAD A MEDICAL REPORT BEFORE SENTENCING . $ REMIND ME TO LOOK INTO IT IN THE MORNING WILL YOU ? $ 04 SARH . $ 27 HAVE YOU EVER HAD A DISCHARGE FROM THE PENIS ? $ 04 ANSWER THE QUESTION . $ 09 THANK YOU , SIR ? $ PARDON SIR ? $ 27 HAVE YOU EVER HAD A DISCHARGE FROM YOUR PENIS ? $ 09 NOW THAT WOULD BE VIRTUALLY HARD TO SAY SIR . $ I THINK I AM CORRECT IN SAYING THAT I HAVE HAD A DISCHARGE F ROM PRISON SIR AND I WOULD ALSO SAY THAT I MAY HAVE HAD A DI SCHARGE FROM THE ARMY AT SOME TIME OR OTHER , SO FAR AS I AM AWARE . $ I THINK THAT WOULD BE THE ONLY SORT OF DISCHARGES I HAVE EVE R HAD SIR AT LEAST THAT IS DEFINITELY THE IMPRESSION I HAVE UNLESS I AM MISTAKEN SIR . $ 27 NEXT ! $ 12 JAMES WILLS FYFE , SIR . $ 27 COUGH . $ BEND OVER AND TOUCH YOUR TOES . $ 10 SHOE SIZE ? $ 04 DON'T ASK HIM JUST GIVE THEM TO HIM . $ 27 HAVE YOU EVER HAD V.D. ? $ 12 NO SIR . $ 27 NEXT . $ 13 ERIC MOSS , SIR . $ 27 COUGH . $ 13 OH . $ YOUR HANDS ARE COLD , SIR . $ 27 I 'LL ENDEAVOUR TO WARM THEM UP FOR YOU NEXT TIME MOSS . $ BEND OVER AND TOUCH YOUR TOES . $ HAVE YOU EVER HAD V.D. ? $ 13 NO SIR . $ 27 NEXT . $ 19 REBUB OYONO M'BIA SARH . $ 03 TOMMIE WHITE , SIR . $ 27 COUGH , BEND OVER AND TOUCH YOUR TOES . $ HAVE YOU EVER HAD V.D. ? $ 03 I DUNNO . $ 27 YOU MUST KNOW WHETHER YOU HAVE HAD IT OR NOT . $ 03 NO I DON'T SIR - I 'VE HAD MUMPS . $ 27 HAVE YOU EVER HAD A BLOOD TEST ? $ 03 NO SIR . $ 27 THEN I THINK WE CAN SAFELY ASSUME YOU HAVEN'T HAD IT . $ NEXT . $ 04 MR. KING , KEEP THIS LINE MOVING . $ 01 TOOLS GUNSTONE , SIR . $ 27 COUGH . $ IS THAT YOUR REAL NAME ? $ 01 YEAH IT IS , ME OLD MAN NAMED ME IT , COS I USED TER PLAY WIV 'IS ' OUSE BREAKIN ' TOOLS INSTEAD OF TEDDY BEARS AND T HAT , THE SAME AS UVVA KIDS . $ 27 BEND OVER AND TOUCH YOUR TOES . $ 01 I CAN'T CAN I ? $ I FELL ORF A ROOF AND DONE ME BACK IN WHEN I WAS A KID . $ 27 WELL HAVE YOU EVER HAD V.D. ? $ 01 YEAH FREE TIMES , ONCE ORF THIS RIGHT POUND NOTE BIRD OVE R KNIGHTSBRIDGE , COR RIGHT DARLIN' SHE WAS . $ I MEAN TER SAY YA WOULDN'T FINGK A BIRD LIKE THAT WOULD GO R OUND SPREADIN' CLAP ABOUT LIKE NUFINGK ON EARF WOULD YA ? $ 27 I DON'T NEED THE DETAILS ... $ 01 THEN THERE WAS THIS UVVA BIRD RIGHT SCRUBBER SHE WAS , PE NNY AND A FAG ELSEY 'ER NAME WAS . $ I GOT MOZART AND LISZT OVER ' OXTON ONE NIGHT , BUYS 'ER A D RINK - LUMBERS 'ER UP ME GAFF - AN ' THERE YA ARE AIN'T 'CHA - $ CRASH ! $ #64 $ I 'VE GOTTA DOSE UP TER ME EAR'OLES AIN'T I ? $ 27 BLOOD TEST IN THE MORNING . $ NEXT ! $ 01 DON'T 'CHA WONNA KNOW ABAHT THE UVVA TIME ... ? $ 27 FASCINATING THOUGH YOUR SEX LIFE IS I DO NOT HAVE TIME TO LISTEN TO IT AT THE MOMENT . $ 01 ... SPADE BIRD SHE WAS RIGHT SMASHER SHE WAS . $ SHE WAS ON THE BASH DARHN THE BAZE , SO I GOES CASE WIV' ER ONE NIGHT AN' THE NEXT FING ANYONE KNOWS - I 'VE GOT A RIGHT TOUCH OF THE A-RAB TILBURIES COR STONE ME AT WEREN'T ARF 'A RD TER GET RIO OF EVEN THOUGH THEY PUMPED PENICILLINE INTER E TILL IT COME AHT OF ME BLEEDIN' EAR- OLES . $ IN THE DEAF I 'AD TER SHOOT DARHN THE POX ' ORSPITAL AN ' AV E THE UMBRELLA SHOVED UP ME ' AMPTON DIDN'T I . $ FREE TIMES THEY DONE IT , BEFORE I GOT RID OF IT ... $ 04 MR. KING !! $ 23 SARH !! $ 04 GET THESE MEN MOVING ALONG . $ 16 DAVID FITZROY , SIR . $ 27 COUGH . $ BEND OVER TOUCH YOUR TOES . $ HAVE YOU EVER HAD V.D. ? $ 16 NO SIR . $ BUT I HAVEN'T EVER HAD ANY SEX EITHER , SIR . $ 27 THEY ARE ALL FIT FOR WORK , MR EVANS . $ 04 SARH !! $ MOSS . $ YOU BACK AGAIN THEN ? $ 13 YES SIR . $ 04 HOW LONG YOU DOING ? $ 13 ONLY A TWO STRETCH , SIR . $ 04 YOU 'RE A REAL TERROR FOR PUNISHMENT AREN'T YOU . $ IF YOU WAS TO ASK ME , I 'D SAY YOU LIKED IT HERE . $ 13 I DON'T MIND IT , SIR . $ 04 HOW MUCH BIRD YOU DONE ALL TOGETHER ? $ 13 CAN'T REMEMBER , SIR . $ 04 TEN YEARS ? $ 13 MORE LIKE TWENTY , SIR . $ I 'VE DONE TEN SINCE THE WAR . $ BUT THIS TIME I GOT DONE FOR NOTHING , SIR , FRAMED I WAS SI R . $ MALINGERING'S WHAT HE CALLED IT . $ 04 TERRIBLE , TERRIBLE , WHAT A SHAME . $ IF I REMEMBER RIGHTLY YOU DIDN'T DO WHAT YOU GOT DONE FOR LA ST TIME EITHER ? $ 13 THAT 'S RIGHT SIR I NEVER . $ 04 IF YOU ASK ME I THINK YOU OUGHT TO DROP A NOTE TO THE HOM E SECRETARY AND LET HIM KNOW THAT THERE 'S A CONSPIRACY AGAI NST YOU IN SCOTLAND YARD . $ 13 I FINGK I WILL , SIR . $ 04 RIGHT LET 'S HAVE THOSE KITCHEN ORDERLIES . $ 05 COMING SARH . $ RIGHT COME ON YOU MEN . $ 23 MURPHY ! $ 08 YES SIR . $ 23 1797 CELL NUMBER 4/66 . E WING . $ BOVIS . $ 09 YES SIR . $ 23 1798 . CELL NUMBER 2/16 . E WING . $ FYFE . $ 12 YES SIR . $ 23 1799 . CELL NUMBER 4/22 . E WING . $ 04 THE CORRECT ISSUE IS ONE SPOONFUL PER MAN . $ RIGHT MR MANZI GET RID OF YOUR ORDERLIES . $ MR KING LOCK THEM UP AND COUNT THEM . $ 23 ATTENTION ! $ AFTER EXERCISE IN THE MORNING ALL ' RECEPTIONS ' WILL SEE TH E GOVERNOR . $ GUNSTONE , PUT YOURSELF DOWN FOR THE M.O. FOR A BLOOD TEST . $ 04 CARRY ON MR KING . $ 23 RECEPTION . $ STAND BY YOUR DOORS . $ INTO YOUR CELLS ONE PACE BACKWARDS . $ MARCH ! $ 04 ONE THING ABOUT SELF PITY IS THAT YOU CAN BE SURE IT 'S S INCERE . $ 23 E WING , LIGHTS OUT . $ 10 WHY DON'T YOU BELT UP , SON . $ 03 BOLLOCKS . $ 23 HANDS OFF YOUR COCKS , GET ON YOUR SOCKS . $ 22 ANYBODY WANT TO SEE THE MEDICAL OFFICER ? $ 20 YER PUT MY NAME DOWN . $ I HAVEN'T HAD A CRAP FOR THREE DAYS . $ 26 TOOLS . $ 01 STONE ME IF IT AIN'T JOCK MC CAFFERY . $ I FORT YOU WAS DAHN THE MOOR ? $ 26 I WAS BUT THEY SENT ME UP TO LONDON FOR ME VISITS . $ HOW LONG DID YOU GET ? $ 01 SEVEN . $ YOU 'VE ALREADY DONE A TEN STRETCH AIN'T 'CHA ? $ 26 ELEVEN NEXT MARCH . $ 01 WOT ABAHT THAT MP WHO WAS TRYIN' TO GETCHA CASE REVIEWED . $ 26 HE KICKED THE BUCKET SIX MONTHS AGO ... $ 01 STONE ME WOULDN'T YOU BLEEDIN' WELL KNOW IT ... $ 05 GUNSTONE ! $ MC CAFFERY ! $ GET IN YOUR CELLS BEFORE I NICK THE BOTH OF YOU . $ 01 YES SIR JUST GOIN' SIR , SOON 'S I 'VE EMFTIED ME PISS PO T , SIR . $ 26 SEE YOU LATER TOOLS . $ 05 DO ME A FAVOUR , GUNSTONE AND LOOK LIVELY . $ THE P.O. WILL BE ROUND IN A MINUTE FOR MORNING INSPECTION . $ 01 TERRIBLE FING . $ ANY OLD 'OW I GOTTA PUT ME NAME DARHN FOR THE M.O. $ 05 WHAT FOR ? $ 01 COZ THE OLD QUACK WANTS TO 'AVE A BUTCHERS AT ME CHOPPER , T' SEE IF I GOT CLAP . $ 05 CHARMING . $ NOW GET IN YOUR PETER . $ 01 ANYFING YOU SAY MR MANZI ANYFING YOU SAY . $ 05 ALL PRESENT AND CORRECT SARH ! $ 06 HAVE THEY CAPTURED JENKINS YET ? $ 05 NOT AS FAR AS I KNOW SIR . $ 06 THAT MAKES FOUR DAYS HE 'S BEEN ON THE MISSING LIST . $ THERE 'S BOUND TO BE A TERRIBLE PUBLIC OUTCRY IF HE 'S NOT C AUGHT SOON . $ MOST OF THE PAPERS ARE DEMANDING A FULL INQUIRY ALREADY ... $ 05 IF YOU WAS TO ASK ME SIR , I 'D SAY HE HAD OUTSIDE HELP . $ 06 VERY LIKELY , MR MANZI . $ BUT WE 'LL GET THE BLAME FOR IT ALL THE SAME . $ THE HOME OFFICE ARE AT FAULT REALLY , THEY BRING OUT ALL THI S NEW LEGISLATION GIVING THEM MORE FREEDOM AND PRIVILEGES . $ NOT ONE OF THOSE ENLIGHTENED DO-GOODING CIVIL SERVANTS KNOWS WHAT HE 'S ON ABOUT . $ THEY OUGHT TO LEAVE THE RUNNING OF THESE PLACES TO US , OR C OME AND HAVE A GO AT IT THEMSELVES . $ 05 QUITE RIGHT , SIR . $ #65 06 BEFORE WE KNOW WHAT 'S HAPPENING THEY 'LL BE HANDING THE PRISONERS THE KEYS TO THE FRONT GATE ... $ ALRIGHT , MR MANZI , GET THEM OUT FOR EXERCISE . $ 05 SARH ! $ MR KING , MR STOUTE ! $ EXERCISE ! $ 23 STAND AT YOUR DOORS AND NO TALKING ! $ 05 STAND AT YOUR DOORS AND NO TALKING ! $ 22 STAND AT YOUR DOORS AND NO TALKING ! $ 01 STAND AT YOUR DOORS AND NO RABBITING . $ 05 GUNSTONE , BELT UP ! $ 01 SORRY GUV'NER . $ 22 SILENCE ! $ THE NEXT MAN WHO SPEAKS WILL BE THE GOVERNOR'S REPORT ! $ 05 CARRY ON SIR ? $ 06 CARRY ON , MR MANZI . $ 05 ONE PACE FORWARD , MARCH ! $ LEFT TURN ! $ 23 NUMBER TWO LANDING . $ QUICK MARCH . $ COME ON , GET A MOVE ON . $ 05 FALL OUT FOR EXERCISE . $ 22 DON'T BUNCH UP . $ KEEP MOVING . $ 05 YOU THERE COME HERE ! $ 03 WOTCHA WANT ? $ 05 SAY ... $ 03 SIR . $ 05 DON'T YOU KNOW THAT IT IS AN OFFENCE TO WALK ACROSS THE E XERCISE YARD , LAD . $ 03 I DIDN'T KNOW , SIR . $ 05 DIDN'T KNOW . $ WELL YOU KNOW NOW . $ DON'T DO IT AGAIN THAT 'S ALL . $ GO ON . $ 26 SO BEFORE HE GETS A CHANCE TO HAVE A GO AT ME , I BATTERE D HIS HEAD IN WITH A STARTING HANDLE . $ 01 I BET THAT MADE 'IS EYES WATER ... $ 26 YEAH , BUT I WASN'T TO KNOW HE HAD A WEAK HEART WAS I ? $ 01 CORSE YOU WASN'T MATE . $ JUST DEAD UNLUCKY THAT 'S ALL WEREN'T IT ? $ 19 HOW LONG YOU DOIN ' DAHLIN ' ? $ 14 EIGHTEEN MONTHS FOR IMPORTUNING DOWN THE DILLY DARLING . $ 15 THAT BEASTLY CID COPPER FROM THE VICE SQUAD HAS HAD IT IN FUR US FOR BLEEDING AGES . $ 14 YES SHE 'S A BOLD ONE DEAR . $ BUT I DON'T MIND DOING A BIT OF BIRD NOW AND AGAIN . $ AT LEAST I GET PLENTY OF TRADE . $ 13 I GOT VERBALED BY THE LAW DIDN'T I ... $ 08 I DON'T KNOW . $ DID YOU ? $ 13 CORSE I DID , DIDN'T I ? $ BUT THE OTHER TIME I 'AD IT OFF FOR TEN GRAND I DIDN'T GET C APTURED DID I ? $ 08 DO LEAVE OFF YOU 'VE NEVER SEEN TEN GRAND IN YOUR LIFE . $ 13 OOO AIN'T . $ 08 YOU AIN'T . $ 14 HELLO , HOW LONG ARE YOU DOING , DARLIN ' ? $ 03 TWO YEARS ... $ 15 WITH FULL REMISSION YOU 'LL ONLY HAVE TO DO SIXTEEN MONTH S , DEAR . $ 03 I KNOW THAT ! $ 14 OOO ROUGH TRADE ! $ 03 JUST DO ME A FAVOUR AND LEAVE ME ALONE WILL YOU ... $ 08 I 'M GOING STRAIGHT WHEN I GET OUT NEXT TIME . $ 13 THAT 'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY MATE . $ 08 WELL I MEAN IT . $ IN THE OLD DAYS THERE WAS LOADS OF LEAD ABOUT , ON EVERY BUI LDING SITE AND ROOF IN THE COUNTRY . $ BUT NOWADAYS IT 'S ALL ZINC AND NOT WORTH A BLEEDIN' LIGHT . $ 03 LEAVE ME ALONE WILL YOU ... $ 14 OO I 'LL GIVE YOU SUCH A KISS IN A MINUTE DARLIN' . $ 15 TRUST YOU TO GET IN FIRST DEAR . $ 14 EVERYTHING COMES TO SHE WHO GETS IN FIRST DEAR . $ 15 DON'T YOU TAKE ANY NOTICE OF HER DEAR , SHE 'S ONLY AFTER YOUR KARTZA . $ 14 I SUPPOSE YOU AREN'T DEAR . $ 17 SO I PUT DARHN FOR THE M.O. DIDN'T I ? $ BUT 'E RECKONS THAT THERE AIN'TNUFINGK WRONG WIV ME 'EART . $ MALINGERING 'S WHAT HE CALLED IT . $ 09 WELL YOU DON'T WANT TO WORRY , BECAUSE IF YOU DIE YOU DO , AND IF YOU DON'T DIE YOU WORRY . $ WELL THAT 'S WHAT I ALWAYS THINK . $ 01 WOTCHA SON YOU ALRIGHT ? $ 03 I SUPPOSE SO ... $ 01 DON'T LET IT GET YOU DARN KID . $ DON'T LET NO SCREWS SEE YA WORRIED ABOUT YA BIRD . $ COZ IF YA DO THEY 'LL MAKE YA LIFE A BLEEDIN' MISERY . $ YOU SMOKE DO YA ? $ 03 YUS . $ 01 WELL COP THIS . $ 03 COR FANKS . $ 01 IT 'S ME GENEROUS NATURE AIN'T IT . $ I LIKE THE LOOK OF YOU KID THAT 'S ALL . $ 03 I 'LL LET YOU HAVE IT BACK SOON AS I GET SOME . $ 01 YOU DON'T 'AVE TER BOVVA KID . $ 05 ... LAUNDRY , BRUSH SHOP , MAILBAGS FALL OUT . $ 20 OKAY SIR . $ 14 I DO WISH SHE 'D STOP CALLING EVERYONE MAILBAGS ALL THE T IME ... $ 06 LAST NIGHT'S RECEPTIONS TO SEE THE GOVERNOR AND CHAPLAIN ... $ 05 LAST NIGHT'S RECEPTIONS FALL OUT OVER HER . $ 06 MAILBAGS SHOP ? $ 05 TWENTY-TWO SIR ! $ ONE ON PUNISHMENT SIR . $ 06 LAUNDRY . $ 22 TWELVE SIR . $ ALL PRESENT AND CORRECT . $ 06 BRUSH SHOP . $ 23 TWENTY-EIGHT SIR , THREE SICK . $ 06 DISMANTLING SHOP . $ 23 FIFTEEN SIR . $ ONE ON GOVERNOR'S APPLICATION ONE ABSENT . $ 06 CLEANERS . $ 23 NINE SIR , TWO SICK , ONE ON PUNISHMENT . $ 06 RIGHT MARCH THEM OFF . $ 22 DISMANTLE SHOP ATTENTION , QUICK MARCH , LEFT RIGHT . $ 23 MAILBAGS , ATTENTION , QUICK MARCH , LEFT RIGHT . $ 04 STAND TO ATTENTION FOR THE PRISON GOVERNOR . $ 07 THANK YOU MR EVANS . $ MY NAME IS LIEUTENANT COMMANDER PEMBERTON AND I AM THE GOVER NOR OF THIS PRISON . $ I SHOULD LIKE YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT WE PRIDE OURSELVES AT THI S PRISON ON THE FACT THAT WE RUN A SMOOTH AND WELL ORDERED E STABLISHMENT . $ THIS IS DUE ENTIRELY TO CO-OPERATION AND UNDERSTANDING ON TH E PART OF BOTH PRISONERS AND STAFF ... $ IN OTHER WORDS TEAM SPIRIT . $ I WANT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU TO KNOW THAT I DEMAND A HIG H STANDARD OF FORMAL BEHAVIOUR AND STRICT DISCIPLINE . $ I ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT TOLERATE DISOBEDIENCE , DISRESPECTFUL OR ABUSIVE LANGUAGE TO A PRISON OFFICER . $ YOU WILL BE GIVEN USEFUL AND PRODUCTIVE WORK TO DO , ANYONE WHO IS IDLE , CARELESS OR NEGLIGENT AT WORK WILL HAVE ONLY T HEMSELVES TO BLAME FOR THE CONSEQUENCES . $ ON THE OTHER HAND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT MY STAFF AND MYSEL F ARE HERE TO HELP YOU IN ANY WAY POSSIBLE , PROVIDED OF COU RSE IT IS WITHIN OUR POWER TO DO SO . $ IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS I DO NOT WANT YOU TO HESITATE TO CO ME AND SEE ME ABOUT THEM . $ BUT YOU MUST PULL YOUR WEIGHT , I WILL NOT STAND FOR ONE SIN GLE INFRINGEMENT OF THE STATUTORY RULES . $ THEY ARE LAID DOWN TO BE OBEYED AND OBEYED THEY WILL BE . $ I AM NOT A TYRANT ... $ 01 'E DON'T ARF LIKE THE SOUND OF 'IS OWN VOICE DON'T 'E . $ 04 SILENCE IN THE RANKS !! $ 07 I KNOW THAT IN EVERY PRISON THERE ARE A MINORITY OF TROUB LEMAKERS , BUT I MUST SEVERELY WARN YOU NOT TO BE INFLUENCED OR INTIMIDATED BY THEM , THEY WILL LAND YOU IN NOTHING BUT TROUBLE . $ #66 DURING THE NEXT FEW DAYS I WILL SEE EACH ONE OF YOU INDIVIDU ALLY . $ THANK YOU . $ CARRY ON , MR EVANS . $ 04 SARH . $ 01 WOT A LOAD OF CODSWALLOP . $ 04 RIGHT ! $ LISTEN FOR YOUR NAMES ! $ 1797 MURPHY . $ 08 SIR ! $ 04 WHAT KIND OF WORK DID YOU DO ON THE OUTSIDE , LAD ? $ 08 NOTHING SIR , I WAS ON THE ASSISTANCE SIR ... $ 04 YOU MEAN YOU 'VE NEVER HAD A JOB IN YOUR LIFE ? $ 08 WELL I ONCE HAD A JOB AS A KITCHEN PORTER , SIR , BUT THA T ... $ 04 GOOD YOU CAN GO TO WORK IN THE LIBARY . $ 1798 BOVIS . $ 09 YES SIR . $ 04 WHAT WAS YOUR JOB , LAD ? $ 09 WELL THEY SAY I 'M UNEMPLOYED SIR . $ BUT I DID HAVE A JOB AS A LAVATORY ATTENDANT , SIR . $ 04 GOOD , WELL YOU CAN GO TO WORK IN THE KITCHEN . $ 01 COR WOT A DIABOLICAL LIBERTY . $ 04 YOU SAY SOMETHING , GUNSTONE ? $ 01 NOT A DICKYBIRD MR EVANS , NOT A DICKYBIRD . $ 04 AND YOU BETTER NOT OR IT 'LL BE THE CHOKEY CELLS FOR YOU . $ MR STOUTE . $ 22 SARH . $ 01 DOWN THE CHOKEY CELLS ... $ THAT 'S ALL HE KNOWS . $ 04 BOVIS - MURPHY FALL OUT . $ MR STOUTE I WANT THE REST OF THESE MEN DOWN THE MAILBAG SHOP . $ 18 GOOD MORNING , MEN . $ 28 GOOD MORNING , SIR !! $ 04 ALL PRESENT AND CORRECT , SIR . $ 18 THANK YOU , MR EVANS . $ COULD I HAVE A WORD WITH YOU , I WANT TO DISCUSS THE ARRANGE MENTS FOR NEXT SUNDAY'S CONCERT . $ I 'LL BE IN THE ... $ 04 SARH ! $ 01 'E 'S WORSE 'N THE BLEEDIN' SCREWS . $ FULL OF ' EAVENLY INTENTIONS BUT OF NO EAR'FLY USE . $ 04 MR KING . $ 23 SARH . $ 04 MURPHY - LIBRARY . $ BOVIS - KITCHEN . $ 22 GUNSTONE ? $ 01 YES SIR . $ 22 SHUT YOUR BLOODY TRAP ! $ 01 DEFINITELY SIR . $ 22 ATTENTION ! $ LEFT TURN , MIND THE GOVERNOR'S FLOWERS , QUICK MARCH !! $ LE-RI-LEF-RIGHT - LE-RI-LEF ... $ 07 NOW I WANT TO GIVE YOU A GENTLE WORD OF WARNING , GUNSTON E ... $ 01 ... THAT 'S VERY KIND OF YA SIR . $ 04 GUNSTONE , DO NOT INTERRUPT THE GOVERNOR WHEN HE IS SPEAK ING . $ 01 SORRY SIR . $ 07 YOU ARE GOING TO BE HERE FOR QUITE A NUMBER OF YEARS ... $ 01 VERY TRUE SIR , VERY TRUE ... $ 04 GUNSTONE ! $ 01 SORRY SIR , BUT IT IS TRUE AIN'T IT ... $ 07 HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN IN PRISON ? $ 01 TER TELL YA THE TROOF SIR I AIN'T ALL THAT SURE . $ AIN'T IT IN ME RECORD ? $ 07 YES IT IS . $ LET ME REFRESH YOUR MEMORY ... $ YOU SPENT ONE YEAR IN AN APPROVED SCHOOL BORSTAL , AND SEVEN TERMS OF IMPRISONMENT . $ 01 I AIN'T NEVER 'AD A CHANCE 'AVE I SIR ? $ 07 YOU HAVE HAD MANY CHANCES GUNSTONE AND THE WARNING I WANT TO GIVE YOU IS THAT THIS IS YOUR LAST . $ IF YOU STAY OUT OF TROUBLE YOUR TIME HERE WILL NOT BE TOO UN PLEASANT , BUT IF YOU GET INTO ANY TROUBLE OF ANY KIND YOUR FEET WILL NOT TOUCH THE GROUND . $ DO YOU UNDERSTAND ? $ 01 YES , SIR ... $ 07 ON THE OUTSIDE YOU MAY HAVE BEEN THE ' GOVERNOR ' BUT IN HERE I AM . $ BERNARD SHAW ONCE SAID THAT THE MOST WORRIED MAN IN THE PRIS ON WAS THE GOVERNOR . $ HE WAS TALKING OUT OF THE BACK OF HIS HEAD . $ THAT 'S ALL GUNSTONE , JUST REMEMBER WHAT I HAVE SAID AND AL L WILL BE WELL . $ 04 RIGHT TURN . $ QUICK MARCH ! $ WHEEL IN THE NEXT ONE , MR MANZI . $ 05 ATTENTION , QUICK MARCH , LEFT RIGHT , LEFT , RIGHT , HAL T . $ 04 PUT YOUR TOES BACK ON THAT LINE . $ FULL NAME AND NUMBER TO THE GOVERNOR ! $ 03 1984 . $ TOMMIE WHITE , SIR . $ 07 THAT 'S NOT YOUR NAME . $ YOUR NAME IS THOMAS WHITE . $ 03 IT IS SIR , IT 'S ON MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE SIR . $ 07 OH YES SO IT IS . $ PRODUCT OF THE WAR MR EVANS . $ I SEE THAT THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME IN PRISON . $ BUT YOU HAVE NOT LONG COME OUT OF BORSTAL ? $ 03 YES , SIR . $ 07 TWO YEARS THIS TIME IS THAT RIGHT ? $ 03 YES , SIR . $ 07 ARE YOU MARRIED ? $ 03 NO , SIR , BUT I AM GETTIN' MARRIED WHEN I GET OUT . $ 07 IS THAT SO . $ DO YOU THINK YOUR GIRL FRIEND WILL WAIT FOR YOU ? $ 03 YUS , SIR , SHE PROMISED . $ 07 SPLENDID . $ TELL ME DO YOU THINK YOU ARE WORTH WAITING FOR ? $ 03 I SUPPOSE I AIN'T , SIR . $ 07 BUT YOUR GIRL FRIEND SEEMS TO THINK YOU ARE ? $ 03 SHE SAYS SHE 'LL WAIT FER EVER IF SHE 'AS TER , SIR . $ 07 IN THAT CASE YOU ARE AN EXTRAORDINARILY LUCKY MAN . $ 03 YUS , SIR . $ 07 YOU WILL BE HERE FOR ONE YEAR AND FOUR MONTHS PROVIDED YO U ARE WELL BEHAVED AND EARN FULL REMISSION . $ DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY ? $ 03 NO , SIR . $ 07 AH YES I SEE YOU 'RE AN ORPHANAGE BOY . $ 03 YES , SIR . $ 07 THEN YOU PROBABLY WON'T FIND PRISON LIFE VERY DIFFICULT . $ 03 I NEVER DID GET USED TO BEING IN THE HOME , SIR , EVEN TH OUGH I WAS THERE FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER . $ 07 I SEE . $ WELL ONCE YOU HAVE SETTLED INTO THE ROUTINE THE TIME WILL SO ON PASS . $ LET ME GIVE YOU A SEVERE WORD OF WARNING . $ DON'T MAKE FRIENDS WITH ANY OF THE MEN IN HERE ... $ KEEP YOURSELF TO YOURSELF AND IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS DO NO T HESITATE TO COME AND SEE ME . $ I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU AS FAR AS IT IS IN OUR POWER TO DO SO . $ 03 YUS , SIR . $ 07 THAT 'S ALL . $ AND REMEMBER WHAT I HAVE TOLD YOU . $ 03 YUS , SIR . $ FANK YER , SIR . $ 04 RIGHT TURN ! $ QUICK MARCH ! $ 07 THERE SHOULD BE SOME HOPE FOR THAT BOY . $ IF ONLY WE HAD THE FACILITIES TO IMPLEMENT EVEN A FRACTION O F THE NEW REFORM BILL IT WOULD BE SOMETHING . $ 04 SARH ! $ 07 WELL , KEEP AN EYE ON HIM WILL YOU , CHIEF ? $ 04 SARH ! $ 09 THAT 'S WHAT I ALWAYS THINK SIR . $ I THINK . $ 29 TO HEAR YOU TALK ANYONE WOULD THINK THAT YOU ACTUALLY ENJ OYED BEING IN PRISON . $ 09 I DON'T REALLY MIND IT , SIR . $ 29 BUT DOESN'T YOUR FREEDOM MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU ? $ 09 WELL , SIR , I DUNNO , WHEN I 'M OUT I HAVE TO LIVE IN A DOSS HOUSE AND THEM CUBICLES AIN'T SO NICE AS MY CELL . $ WHEN I 'M OUT , SIR , I HAVE A LOT OF WORRIES ABOUT GETTING A JOB , AND GETTING ENOUGH TO EAT . $ #67 BUT SOMETIMES I DO TRY TO STAY OUT , SIR , BUT REALLY I 'M B ETTER OFF IN HERE AIN'T I ? $ WELL PERHAPS I AM NOT BETTER OFF IN HERE BUT I AM REALLY DON 'T YOU THINK . $ I MEAN WHEN YOU STEAL THINGS THERE ISN'T MUCH HOPE FOR YOU , I ALWAYS PLEAD GUILTY , SIR , EVEN WHEN I 'M NOT , IT 'S TH E BEST THING TO DO REALLY BECAUSE THE POLICE GET VERY ANGRY IF YOU CAUSE THEM ANY TROUBLE , SIR , DON'T THEY . $ BUT PERHAPS I 'LL TRY AND STAY OUT WHEN I GET OUT NEXT TIME , SIR , MAYBE I COULD TRY LIVING IN THE COUNTRY , SIR . $ I LIKE WORKING WITH ANIMALS , SIR , YOU KNOW COWS , PIGS AND HORSES AND COUNTRY AIR IS GOOD FOR YOU I THINK , BUT PERHAPS I 'M WRONG ABOUT THAT BUT I DON'T THINK SO , AM I , SIR . $ 29 NO NO , I 'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO . $ I 'LL TALK TO THE AFTER-CARE PEOPLE ABOUT YOU , AND SEE IF T HEY CAN'T FIX YOU UP SOMEWHERE . $ 09 THANK YOU , SIR . $ IT WOULD BE LOVELY TO WORK WITH ANIMALS AFTER BEING IN HERE . $ YOU KNOW , WITH PIGS , SHEEP , CHICKENS AND CATTLE IN THE FI ELDS , SIR . $ 29 THANK YOU , BOVIS , THAT WILL BE ALL FOR NOW , SEND IN TH E NEXT ONE . $ 29 AH ? $ 15 WOLSTENCROFT , SIR . $ 29 WOLSTENCROFT , YES . $ SIT DOWN PLEASE . $ 15 THANK YOU , SIR . $ 29 TELL ME WOLSTENCROFT . $ HOW MUCH LONGER HAVE YOU GOT TO DO . $ 15 ELEVEN MONTHS , SIR . $ I CAN'T BEAR IT HERE ANY LONGER . $ I 'M NEVER COMING BACK HERE EVER AGAIN , SIR . $ 29 I DON'T WANT TO APPEAR UNKIND . $ BUT THAT 'S WHAT THEY NEARLY ALL SAY BUT IN MY EXPERIENCE TH E ONES WHO SAY IT THE MOST VEHEMENTLY ARE INVARIABLY THE FIR ST BACK . $ 15 WELL , I MEAN IT , SIR , I DON'T WANT TO STAY IN THIS PLA CE ANYMORE , SIR . $ 29 I 'M PLEASED TO HEAR IT . $ HAVE YOU DECIDED WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO WHEN YOU GET OUT ? $ 15 WELL , SIR , I USED TO WORK IN A LADIES HAIRDRESSER , I C OULD GO BACK TO THAT . $ OR PERHAPS INTERIOR DECORATING . $ I 'VE GOT A FLAIR FOR THAT KIND OF THING , SIR . $ 29 HAVE YOU ANYWHERE TO LIVE ? $ 15 OOO YES , SIR , MY FRIEND HAS GOT A NICE LITTLE FLAT NEAR REGENT'S PARK . $ 29 I SEE . $ 15 OOO YES , SIR , IT 'S A BEAUTIFUL PLACE , MY FRIEND HAS B EEN WORKING ALL THE TIME I HAVE BEEN IN HERE , JUST SO 'S I WOULD HAVE SOMEWHERE NICE TO COME OUT TO . $ 29 THAT WAS VERY NICE OF HIM . $ 15 OOO IT ISN'T A HIM , SIR , IT 'S A HER , SHE 'S NOT A QUE EN'S MOLL . $ SHE WORKS FOR THE BBC AND JUST LIKES TO TAKE CARE OF ME THAT 'S ALL SIR . $ 29 IS THERE ANY WAY IN WHICH THE AFTER CARE CAN HELP YOU ? $ 15 YOU DON'T MEAN DO I WANT ONE OF THOSE DREADFUL D.P.A. SUI TS DO YOU , SIR ? $ 29 AMONGST OTHER THINGS , YES . $ 15 WELL I DON'T , I GOT A BEAUTIFUL WARDROBE . $ IF YOU WALK ALONG THE STREET WEARING ONE OF THESE SUITS THE POLICE KNOW WHERE YOU COME FROM STRAIGHT AWAY AND ARE LIABLE TO PINCH YOU FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT ALL . $ 29 VERY WELL , THAT 'S ALL WE HAVE TIME FOR . $ BUT IF YOU CAN THINK OF ANYTHING THAT WE CAN DO FOR YOU , PL EASE DO NOT HESITATE TO LET ME KNOW . $ 15 THANK YOU , SIR , BUT I DON'T THINK THERE WILL BE ANYTHIN G . $ 29 THANK YOU . $ 18 SIT DOWN , PLEASE . $ I SEE THIS IS YOUR FIRST PRISON SENTENCE ... $ 03 YES . $ 18 I HOPE IT WILL BE YOUR LAST . $ I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT THOUGH I CARRY A BUNCH OF KEYS AND A M A MEMBER OF THE PRISON STAFF , MY REAL FUNCTION HERE IS TO GIVE SPIRITUAL HELP AND GUIDANCE . $ 03 IS IT ? $ 18 YOU MAY FEEL THAT YOU HAVE BEEN UNJUSTLY CONVICTED . $ BUT I WOULD ASK YOU TO REMEMBER THAT ULTIMATELY YOU WILL NOT BE JUDGED BY AN EARTHLY JUDGE BUT BY THE JUDGE OF ALL THE E ARTH . $ 03 WOT ?! $ 18 TELL ME , TOMMIE , DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD ? $ 04 I USED TO WHEN I WAS YOUNG BUT I DON'T ANY MORE . $ 18 WHY NOT ? $ 03 BECAUSE IT GOT KNOCKED OUT OF ME IN THE ORPHANAGE I WAS I N . $ 18 BUT IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO RETURN TO CHRIST . $ 03 IT IS FER ME . $ I DON'T 'ATE GOD NOR NUFINGK LIKE THAT I AIN'T INTERESTED IN 'IM NO MORE . $ 18 BUT HE WILL NEVER LOSE INTEREST IN YOU . $ 03 THEN WOT AM I DOIN' IN 'ERE THEN ? $ 18 THE WAYS OF THE LORD ARE MANY AND MYSTERIOUS . $ YOU NEVER KNOW YOU MAY HAVE BEEN SENT HERE AS A TEST OF FAIT H . $ 03 THAT CAN'T BE TRUE IF I 'AVENT GOT NO FAITH . $ 18 I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT TO BE TRUE , FOR ONCE A MAN HAS BEL IEVED IN GOD , HE NEVER REALLY GIVES HIM UP ... I AM CERTAIN THAT YOU HAVE PRAYED TO GOD AT SOMETIMES OR ANOTHER SINCE Y OU GAVE HIM UP . $ CAN YOU HONESTLY SAY YOU HAVE NOT ? $ 03 WELL I 'AVE BUT IT DIDN'T DO ME NO GOOD . $ 18 WHEN WAS IT ? $ 03 WHEN I GOT NICKED . $ I PRAYED IN THE POLICE STATION CELL ; AND PROMISED THAT IF H E GOT ME ORF , I WOULDN'T NEVER DO ANYFING WRONG AGAIN . $ BUT 'E DIDN'T DID 'E ? $ 18 BUT YOU NEVER KNOW HE MIGHT HAVE FELT THAT THIS WAS THE B EST THING FOR YOU . $ 03 WELL IF 'E DID 'E CAN'T BE ALL THAT MUCH COP CAN 'E ? $ 18 I GRANT THAT IT MAY BE HARD FOR YOU TO SEE NOW , BUT PERH APS ONE DAY YOU WILL SEE THE WISDOM IN IT , TOMMIE . $ THE TIME WILL SOON PASS , ONLY THEN WILL YOU BE ABLE TO ASSE SS WHETHER OR NOT YOUR STAY HERE HAS BEN BENEFICIAL . $ 03 ALL I KNOW IS THAT I AM 'ERE , AND I DON'T RECKON IT 'ERE AND THE SOONERS I GET OUT OF 'ERE THE BETTER . $ 18 I TAKE YOUR POINT , BUT TRY TO SETTLE DOWN AND IF I CAN E VER BE OF ANY HELP COME AND SEE ME . $ YOU WILL IN ANY EVENT FIND A BIBLE IN YOUR CELL , TRY TO REA D A FEW VERSES EACH DAY . $ I AM CERTAIN YOU WILL FIND IT A HELP AND COMFORT TO YOU . $ THAT 'S ALL FOR NOW , I WILL COME AND SEE YOU SOMETIME WITHI N THE NEXT FEW WEEKS . $ SEND IN THE NEXT ONE WILL YOU . $ 01 HELLO TOMMIE , DID YOU GET YOUR SOUL ALL SORTED OUT THEN ? $ 03 HELLO TOOLS . $ 18 SIT DOWN , PLEASE . $ 01 FANKS , REV . $ 18 HOW ARE THINGS WITH THE WIFE , TOOLS ? $ 01 WELL , REV , YA SEE THE FING IS I GOTTA TELL YA FINGS 'AV E BIN DEAD HUMPTY LATELY . $ I MEAN THE OLD WOMAN WILL 'AVE TER GO ON THE BASH AGAIN , WO T WIV ME IN 'ERE AND ONE FING AN'ANUVVA , WON'T SHE . $ 18 THAT IS BAD NEWS ... $ 01 YA BLEEDIN' RIGHT IT IS , REV , I MEAN ARTER ALL YA GOTTA FACE IT SHE 'S GETTIN' A BIT PASSED IT AIN'T SHE ? $ 18 BUT SHE COULD ALWAYS SIGN ON THE SOCIAL SECURITY COULDN'T SHE ? $ 01 YOU GOTTA BE JOKIN' AIN'TCHA ME AN' MY OLD WOMAN AIN'T NE VER ARST NO ONE FOR NUFINK AN' WE AIN'T STARTIN' NAR . $ 18 BUT THE SOCIAL SECURITY IS NOT A CHARITABLE ORGANIZATION , TOOLS , EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE IF TH EY ARE DESTITUTE . $ 01 YOU GOTTA POINT THERE , REV , YA DEFINITELY GOTTA POINT . $ BUT MY OLD WOMAN WOULD RAVVA BE DEAD SKINT AND BLEEDIN' STAR VIN' THAN GO BEGGIN' A FEW BOB OFF OV THEM LOT . $ ANY OLD 'OW SHE 'AS TER LIVE IN A MANNER TER WOT SHE 'S USED T' AIN'T SHE ? $ 18 VERY WELL , TOOLS . $ BUT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO GO AND SEE HER ? $ 01 NO FANKS , REV , SHE DON'T GO ALL THAT MUCH ON SKY PILOTS DO SHE ? $ SHE SLUNG A WET MOP ATCHA LAST TIME DIDN'T SHE ? $ 18 BUT IN MY JOB THAT 'S AN OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD . $ 01 AND GETTIN' NICKED IS AN OCCUPATIONAL 'AZARD IN MINE , VI C . $ 18 IF THERE IS ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP COME AND SEE ME . $ #68 01 RIGHTCHA ARE BUT I DON'T FINGK THERE WILL BE . $ YER KNOW ME , JUST DO ME BIRD THE BEST WAY I CAN AND GET OUT . $ 18 VERY WEL , TOOLS THAT WILL BE ALL FOR NOW . $ SEND IN THE NEXT ONE WILL YOU ? $ 01 THANKS , REV . $ 01 WOTCHA , BERT , STILL GETTIN' YA CONJUGALS ? $ 23 HELLO , TOOLS , NICE TO SEE YOU BACK AGAIN . $ 01 YEAH I DON'T EXPECT THE OLE PLACE 'AS BIN THE SAME WIVAHT ME 'AS IT ? $ 23 IT 'S DEFINITELY BEEN QUIETER . $ 01 LISTEN , BERT , YOU STILL IN BIZNESS ? $ 23 IF YOU 'VE GOT THE GELT I CAN GET THE SNOUT . $ 01 THE SAME ARRANGEMENT AS BEFORE OKAY . $ MY OLD WOMAN 'LL SEND YOU A FIVER A WEEK ... $ 23 ... I RECKON THAT 'LL BE ALRIGHT , BUT WE 'VE GOT TO BE D OUBLE CAREFUL THESE DAYS , WHAT WITH ONE THING AND ANOTHER . $ 01 O' YEAH WHY 'S THAT ? $ 23 TOO MANY OF THESE YOUNG SCREWS ARE TRYING TO MAKE A NAME FOR THEMSELVES THAT 'S WHY . $ TAKE THAT BLEEDING MANZI FOR INSTANCE , ALWAYS CREEPING AROU ND TO SEE IF HE CAN CLOCK ANYTHING WRONG THEN GRASS TO THE B ULLYBEEF . $ MY LIFE IT BEATS ME WHERE THEY FIND THEM . $ BLOODY M.P.'S IN THE ARMY WHEN THEY GET CHUCKED OUT OF THERE , THEY GO STRAIGHT TO THE SCREW'S SCHOOL AT WAKEFIELD AND T HE NEXT THING ANYONE KNOWS THEY THINK THEY 'RE RUNNING THE W HOLE PERISHING PRISON SERVICE . $ IT NEVER WAS LIKE THAT IN MY YOUNG DAYS : WE STAYED AWAY FRO M TROUBLE NOT LOOKING FOR IT . $ 01 I KNOW WOTCHA MEAN , BERT . $ BUTCHA DON'T WONNA LET IT GETCHA DARHN , YER 'LL SOON BE RET IRIN' WONTCHA ? $ 23 ANOTHER TWO YEARS . $ 01 IN THAT CASE I 'LL STILL BE 'ERE WHEN YA GO WON'T I ? $ 23 I SUPPOSE YOU 'RE RIGHT . $ 01 RIGHT , WELL YOU TAKE CARE OF ME DOUBLE 'ANDSOME , BERT , AN' I 'LL SEE YER RIGHT WHEN I GET AHT OK ? $ 23 I 'LL BRING YOU SOME SNOUT IN TOMORROW . $ 01 TAR , BERT , YOU 'RE A GOODUN ... $ 23 ALL PRESENT AND CORRECT , MR MANZI , JUST RETURNING GUNST ONE TO THE MAILBAG SHOP . $ THERE YOU ARE , TOOLS , SEE WHAT I MEAN , HE 'S A THOROUGH S CHNIDE . $ 01 WOTCHA , CHAPS , 'OW 'S IT ALL GOIN' ON THEN ? $ 30 HELLO TOOLS . $ 03 HELLO , TOOLS , YOU WANNA GAME OF CARDS ? $ 01 CARDS IS IT , THAT 'S NEW AIN'T IT , I MEAN TER SAY THEY DIDN'T 'AVE CARDS THE LAST TIME I WAS IN 'ERE . $ 09 WE 'RE ONLY SUPPOSED TO PLAY BRIDGE REALLY . $ 26 IT 'S ALL PART OF THIS NEW REFORM LARK . $ 01 WOT 'S THAT THEN ? $ 13 IT AIN'T NUFINGK THEY 'RE ONLY MAKIN' 'EMSELVES BIZZY THA T 'S ALL . $ 20 WELL WE 'VE GOT BETTER LIBREE BOOKS AND THAT AIN'T WE . $ 01 DO ME A FAVOUR AXE , THAT DON'T MAKE NO DIFFERENCE TER YO U DO IT . $ YA BLEEDIN' IGERANT AND YA CAN'T EVEN READ CAN YA ? $ 20 I CAN LOOK AT THE PICHERS CAN'T I ? $ ANYWAY READIN' AIN'T EVERYFINGK IS IT ? $ 26 SURE IT 'S NOT AXE , YOU TAKE NO HEED WHAT ANYBODY SAYS . $ 01 EH TANGE COME AND FIX ME SMOVER . $ DO A GOOD JOB AND I 'LL LET YOU GET DOWN ON YOUR BISCUITS AN D CHEESE AND 'GIV ME A HUNDRED TO EIGHT . $ 08 NO THE FULL STRENGTH OF IT IS THAT NOW THAT THEY HAVE GOT THE TWINS , THEM MAILBAG ROBBERS AND SPIES DOING TWENTY , T HIRTY AND FORTY THEY GOT TO MAKE A FEW REFORMS SO THEY WON'T GO STARK RAVIN' BONKERS . $ 01 COR IF I GOT AS MUCH BIRD AS THAT I WOULD GO RIGHT ORF ME NUT EVEN IF I 'AD BRASS IN ME PETER EVERY BLEEDIN' NIGHT .. . $ 20 ... ME AN' ALL , MATE . $ 01 DO ME A FAVOUR YOU 'RE ORF YA NUT ALREADY . $ 13 WEN I GET AHT NEXT TIME I 'M GONNA CARRY A SHOOTER , COZ NAR THAT THEY DONE AWAY WIV TOPPIN' YOU CAN GET MORE BIRD FO R KNOCKIN' ORF A FEW QUID THAN YA CAN FOR DOIN' SOMEONE IN . $ 01 DO ME A FAVOUR YOU AIN'T NEVER SEEN A SHOOTER . $ 13 OOOOO AIN'T ? $ 30 YOU AIN'T . $ 20 WELL I FINGK 'E 'S RIGHT ... $ 08 CERTAINLY HE 'S RIGHT ISN'T HE , TOOLS ? $ 01 DEFINITELY . $ 20 WELL IT 'S ALL WRONG THEN AIN'T IT ? $ 01 CORSE IT IS AIN'T IT - IF I WAS YOU , AXE , I 'D WRITE A STIFF TER THE LINENS ABAHT IT . $ 20 CAN'T BLEEDIN' WRITE EVVA CAN I ? $ 12 HELLO MR GUNSTONE . $ I 'VE GOT A BIT OF A PROBLEM . $ I GOT A LETTER FROM THE MATER AND PATER THE OTHER DAY , AND THEY ARE EXTREMELY UNHAPPY ABOUT MY BEING IN HERE . $ 01 'OW DOUBLE EMBARRASSING FOR YA . $ 12 YOU SEE THE TROUBLE IS MY SISTER BOO-BOO IS GETTING MARRI ED NEXT WEEK , OF COURSE WE ARE A TERRIBLE COUNTY FAMILY AND MY ABSENCE IS BOUND TO BE NOTICED . $ 13 I SAY 'OW PROPER ROTTEN FOR YA ... $ 12 NOW YOU 'RE BEING ABSOLUTELY BEASTLY , IT REALLY IS TOO B AD OF YOU . $ JUST SHUT UP WILL YOU . $ LOOK I SAY , OLD CHAP , I REALLY AM MOST AWFULLY SORRY TO TR OUBLE YOU , BUT I WONDER IF YOU COULD OBLIGE ME WITH A CIGAR ETTE PAPER . $ YOU SEE I HAVE RUN OUT AND I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GET ANY UNT IL THE END OF THE WEEK , IT 'S A DEUCE OF A NUISANCE IT REAL LY IS . $ THIS LAVATORY PAPER IS AWFUL STUFF IT REALLY IS . $ 01 'ERE YA ARE , YA LORDSHIP , NAR SCARPER . $ 12 OH I SAY , OLD CHAP , THAT REALLY IS MOST KIND OF YOU . $ I ABSOLUTELY PROMISE TO LET YOU HAVE THEM BACK AT THE END OF THE WEEK . $ 01 DON'T BOVVA . $ 12 BUT I INSIST . $ 01 SUITCHA SELF ... $ 12 GOODBYE , OLD CHAP , I 'LL SEE YOU ROUND THE GROUNDS . $ 01 WOTCHA , KID 'OW 'S TRICKS ? $ 03 SMASHIN' . $ I FINGK I 'LL SHOOT DOWN THE BOOZER T'NIGHT AN' 'AVE A FEW D RINKS . $ 01 I 'LL GIVE YA A LIFT ON ME MOTOR BIKE IF YA LIKE . $ 03 GO ON STRAIGHT UP ? $ 01 COURSE , COME ON JUMP ON THE BACK . $ 03 FANKS A LOT , MATE , THE SPREAD EAGLE 'OXTON ! $ 30 EVENING TOOLS . $ 01 WOTCHA GONNA 'AVE , TOMMIE ME BOY ? $ 03 LIGHT ALE . $ 01 LIGHT ALE . $ AN' A LARGE SCOTTISH WINE , ME OLD MATE . $ 03 WOT ABOUT THE BIRDS , TOOLS ? $ 01 COR STONE ME I FORGOT ALL ABOUT 'EM . $ WOTCHA GONNA 'AVE , ME LITTLE CRACKERS ? $ 13 I 'LL 'AVE A PORT AND LEMON , WOTCHEW GONNA 'AVE , BERNAD INE ? $ 08 CREMEDEMAHNT , DARLIN . $ 01 RIGHT , BARMAN , LIGHT ALE , BROWN ALE , LARGE SCOTCH , P ORT AN' LEMON , A CREME DEMUNF AN' TWO CHEESE ROLLS . $ 06 STOP IT . $ 05 IF THERE IS A RECURRENCE OF THAT SORT OF BEHAVIOUR YOU CA N ALL GO TO YOUR CELLS . $ 01 IT WAS ONLY A GIGGLE , GUV'NOR , DON'T DO YA NUT . $ 06 WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS PLACE IS , I MEAN WHERE DO YOU THI NK YOU ARE . $ #69 $ THIS IS A PRISON . $ I WON'T TOLERATE SUCH BEHAVIOUR . $ MR MANZI KEEP THESE MEN IN LINE . $ 05 YOU HEARD THE P.O. NOW GET ON WITH IT QUIETLY . $ 01 THIS YER FIRST TIME IN THE NICK ? $ 03 YEAH , BUT I DONE A BORSTAL . $ 01 IS THAT A FACT . $ WHEREABOUTS DID YA GO THEN ? $ 03 HOLLESLEY BAY . $ 01 STONE ME , I WAS THERE IN 1949 . $ DONE TWO BLEEDIN' YEARS THERE . $ THEY TAUGHT ME ALL I KNOW . $ NUFINGK ! $ 03 I DIDN'T RECKON IT ALL THAT MUCH . $ 01 COURSE YA DIDN'T , IT 'S A BLEEDIN' CONCENTRATION CAMP AI N'T IT ? $ DIDN'T TEACH ME HOW TO FUCKING CONCENTRATE . $ IS THAT SCREW TYLER STILL THERE ? $ 03 YEAH , BUT 'E 'S A P.O. NAR . $ 01 JUST GOES T' SHOW YA DON'T IT . $ I GAVE 'IM MORE THAN ONE RIGHT 'ANDER WHEN I WAS THERE . $ ONE TIME I NEARLY GOT THE BIRCH FOR SMASHIN' 'IM OVER THE BO NCE WIV A COAL SHOVEL . $ 03 COR DID YA REALLY ? $ 01 COURSE I DID , 'ERE YA ARE , KID , COP THIS . $ 03 FANKS , TOOLS , YOU 'RE A GOODUN . $ 01 GETTING MARRIED WHEN YOU GET OUT AIN'T YER ? $ 03 YER . $ HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT ? $ 01 THERE AIN'T NOTHING IN THIS NICK THAT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT . $ 13 I DON'T FINK IT 'S WORF WORRYIN' ABOUT BIRDS WEN YER' IN THE NICK . $ I MEAN THEY ONLY PISS YER ABAHT DONHT THEY ? $ PERSONALLY I GOT ENOUGH AGGRAVATION WIV AHT THAT . $ 01 WELL MY OLD WOMAN 'S A GOODUN , EVERYTIME I GETS ME COLLA R FELT , SHE GOES AHT AN' EARNS SO 'S WE GOTTA NICE FEW QUID D FOR WEN I 'VE DONE ME BIRD . $ 20 YEAH , BUT I BET SHE DON'T GO NO SEVEN YEARS WIVOUT NO NO OKY . $ 01 WELL I DON'T GO SEVEN YEARS WIVOUT A JODRELL DO I ? $ 13 PERSONALLY I CAN'T KEEP ME 'ANDS OFF IT , EVEN THOUGH THE COCOA IS FULL OF BROMINED ... $ 01 IT AIN'T CALLED BROMINED IT 'S BROMIDE AIN'T IT ? $ 13 WELL , IT DON'T MATTER WOT THEY CALL IT , I STILL CAN'T S TOP PULLIN' ME PUDDIN' ... $ MATTER OF FACT I WENT TER THE QUACK AND ARST 'IM TER GIVE ME SUMMINGK TO MAKE ME STOP IT . $ SO 'E SAYS 'OW MANY TIMES AM I DOIN' IT A WEEK , SO I TOLD ' IM THREE TIMES A DAY . $ ONCE WEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNIN' , ONCE DURIN' THE LUNCH 'O UR AND AGAIN BEFORE I GO TER KIP . $ DO YOU KNOW WOT 'E SAID ? $ 01 WOT ? $ 13 'E TOLD ME TER COME BACK WEN I WAS DOING IT SIX TIMES A D AY . $ 03 YOU 'LL WIND UP WIV WANKERS DOOM IF YA DON'T WATCH OUT . $ 16 TOOLS CAN YOU LEND US ANOTHER OUNZE PLEASE ? $ 01 ER MOSS BUNG HIM AN OUNZE . $ 13 THAT WILL BE TWO AND HALF OUNZES NEXT WEEK , DON'T FORGET IT . $ 16 RIGHT MOSS . $ THANKS TOOLS YOU 'RE A GOODUN . $ 01 THAT 'S ALRIGHT NOW PISS OFF . $ 15 HI DARLING . $ HOW LOVELY WE HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE WE 'VE BEEN IN . $ 21 HELLO , GIRLS . $ 14 LIONEL DARLING , HOW MARVELLOUS TO SEE YOU . $ 21 SORRY I HAVEN'T BEEN TO SEE YOU BEFORE BUT SINCE I 'VE HA D THAT JOB ON THE GATE , I DON'T DO ANY DUTY IN THE MAIN PRI SON . $ 15 OOO I 'M FED UP WITH THIS PLACE - $ JUST THINK IF I WASN'T HERE I 'D BE TUCKED UP ALL NICE AND C OSY IN MY LATTY WITH MY BONA HOMEY . $ 14 DIRTY OLD THING , ALL SHE EVER THINKS ABOUT IS TRADE . $ 15 THANK YOU , DEAR . $ I SOMETIMES THINK THAT NO ONE LOVES ME ANY MORE . $ 21 I LOVE YOU , DEAR , WITH A PASSION WHICH IS HARDLY PURE . $ 15 THANK YOU , LIONEL , YOUR EVERSO LOYAL . $ 14 WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR DAYS OFF THESE DAYS , LIONEL ? $ 21 WELL I 'M A MEMBER OF THIS NEW GAY CLUB UP THE WEST END . $ I TROLL UP THERE AND HUSTLE A DELICIOUS PICK-UP , A YOUNG BO NNA CHICKEN , TAKE HIM OUT FOR A LOVELY MEAL ... $ WE HAVE OYSTERS , CHAMPAGNE THEN LOBSTER THERMIDOR , MARRON GLACE AND THINGS LIKE THAT . $ THEN I TAKE IT BACK TO MY PAD AND FUCK IT TILL I CAN'T STAND UP DEAR . $ 14 OOOO HOW GORGEOUS . $ OYSTERS ARE APHODISIAC AREN'T THEY , DEAR ? $ 15 I DON'T KNOW DEAR , THE ONLY APHRODISIAC I KNOW IS INFIDE LITY , DEAR . $ 21 MARIGOLD ! $ THE THINGS YOU SAY . $ PISS OFF , PISS OFF . $ 14 LOOK OVER THERE THAT DISHY TOMMIE WHITE , HE 'S ONLY TWEN TY-TWO . $ I 'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH HIM EVER SINCE I FIRST SET EYES ON H IM . $ 15 VARDA , VARDA THE BONNA CARTZA , VARDA , VARDA . $ 21 I HAVE JUST FAINTED !! $ 15 HELLO , TOMMASCENA . $ 03 YOU CALL ME THAT AGAIN AN' I 'LL SMASH YA BLEEDIN' FACE I N . $ 15 I 'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY , DEAR , I 'LL BITE YOUR BLEEDIN G BALLS OFF . $ 14 OOO AUNTY VIOLENCE . $ SHE 'S A BOLD ONE . $ 21 THEY 'RE NOT SO TOUGH ONCE YOU GET THEIR CLOTHES OFF , AL L THEY WANT IS TO BE LOVED . $ AND WANT EGGS ON TOAST FOR BREAKFAST . $ 14 I DON'T WANT ANY EGGS ON TOAST FOR BREAKFAST , DEAR ... $ 21 WELL I MUST BE OFF SEE YOU GIRLS . $ 15 SHE DOES LOVE THE OLD PLATING TACKLE ROUND HERE . $ COREY THAT ONE . $ 01 NITO THE BULLYBEEF . $ 04 GUNSTONE , GET YOUR FEET OFF THE TABLE . $ YOU 'RE NOT AT HOME NOW . $ 01 OH SORRY , GUV'NER , 'OW DOUBLE RUDE OV ME . $ 04 YOU REALLY THINK YOU 'RE A TOUGH BOY DON'T YOU , GUNSTONE ? $ THINK YOU 'RE THE GOVERNOR OF THE WHOLE BLEEDING NICK , DON' T YOU ? $ 01 IT 'S ALL THAT VIOLENCE ON TV ... HAVING A TERRIBLE EFFEC T ON ME , STRAIGHT UP IT IS . $ 04 I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING , GUNSTONE . $ 01 WOT 'S THAT THEN ? $ 04 I AM NOT GOING TO STAND FOR ANY NONSENSE FROM YOU THIS TI ME . $ IF YOU STEP OUT OF LINE JUST ONCE , YOUR FEET WON'T TOUCH TH E GROUND . $ DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT !! $ 01 ALRIGHT , GUV , DON'T DO YA NUT , YER 'LL GIVE YA SELF AN ' EART ATTACK . $ 04 SAY SIR WHEN YOU SPEAK TO ME ! $ STAND UP ! $ COME ON GET ON YOUR FEET . $ BACK TO YOUR CELLS , ALL OF YOU . $ 01 RIGHTCHA ARE , MR EVANS . $ THANKS TANGE , YOU 'VE DONE A LOVELY JOB . $ 04 YOU THERE COME HERE !! $ 03 WHO ME ? $ 04 YES YOU , YOU NASTY LITTLE INDIVIDUAL . $ ON THE DOUBLE LAD !! $ ARE YOU DEAF ? $ 03 NO , SIR ? $ 04 THEN YOU MUST HAVE HEARD THE BELL . $ 03 YES , SIR . $ 04 THEN IF YOU HEARD THE BELL , WHY DIDN'T YOU GO TO YOUR CE LL LIKE EVERYONE ELSE !!? $ 03 I WASN'T DOING NUFINGK ! $ 04 DON'T YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME , BOY ! $ 03 WELL 'OW COMES YOU CAN SHOUT AT ME THEN ? $ 04 I SEE , TOUGH GUY , ARE YOU . $ WE 'VE GOT A PLACE FOR YOU BOY . $ MR. MANZI !! $ 05 SARH . $ 04 TAKE THAT MAN DOWN THE CHOKEY CELLS . $ I WANT HIM ON GOVERNOR'S ADJUDICATION IN THE MORNING . $ 05 SARH ! $ ATTENTION . $ RIGHT TURN , QUICK MARCH , LEFT RIGHT . $ #70 07 ARE THERE MANY REPORTS THIS MORNING , MR. EVANS ? $ 04 JUST THE ONE , SIR , 1984 . $ TOMMIE WHITE , SIR . $ HE 'S NOT BEEN HERE VERY LONG , HE HAS ALL THE MAKINGS OF A TROUBLE MAKER . $ 07 ALL RIGHT , MR. EVANS , WE 'D BETTER HAVE HIM IN - I HOPE THIS DOESN'T TAKE LONG . $ I HAVE TO HAVE LUNCH WITH THE DIRECTOR OF PRISONS . $ 04 SARH . $ BRING IN THE PRISONER !! $ 06 ATTENTION , QUICK MARCH !! $ LEF-RI-LEF-RI-LEF-RI-LEF . $ HALT ! $ 04 FULL NAME AND NUMBER TO THE GOVERNOR . $ 03 1984 TOMMIE WHITE , SIR . $ 07 EVIDENCE . $ 04 I WAS ON DUTY IN E WING LAST NIGHT AT SEVEN FIFTEEN , WHE N I OBSERVED THE ACCUSED PRISONER LOITERING AFTER THE END OF ASSOCIATION BELL HAD RUNG . $ WHEN CAUTIONED HE BECAME ABUSIVE , THEREBY CAUSING A DISTURB ANCE CONTRARY TO THE GOOD ORDER AND DISCIPLINE AND PREJUDICI AL TO THE SMOOTH RUNNING OF THE PRISON , SARH ! $ 07 HMMM , YES I SEE , QUITE , CHIEF - QUITE A MOST SERIOUS C HARGE . $ DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT THIS WHITE ? $ 03 I DIDN'T DO NONE OF THEM FINGS WHOT 'E SAID . $ 04 SAY SIR WHEN YOU SPEAK TO THE GOVERNOR ! $ 03 SIR . $ 07 ARE YOU DENYING THE CHARGE ? $ 03 YUS SIR , I AM . $ 07 I SEE FROM YOUR RECORD THAT THIS IS YOUR FIRST PRISON SEN TENCE - HMM TWO YEARS - HOWEVER , YOU HAVE QUITE A LONG CRIM INAL RECORD I SEE . $ BORSTAL , PROBATION ETC. $ NOW I WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO ME VERY CLOSELY . $ I TRUST MY PRISON OFFICERS IMPLICITLY AND IF ONE OF THEM TOL D ME YOU WERE SEEN DRIVING A MOTORCYCLE AROUND THE LANDING I SHOULD WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOU GET THE PETROL FROM . $ DO YOU UNDERSTAND ? $ 03 YES , SIR . $ 07 I REALISE THAT THIS IS YOUR FIRST PRISON SENTENCE AND THA T YOU MAY NOT BE FAMILIAR WITH OUR WAYS . $ BUT I MUST TELL YOU THAT IF YOU INSIST ON CONTRAVENING THE R ULES THERE IS VERY LITTLE THAT I CAN DO FOR YOU . $ AS THIS IS YOUR FIRST OFFENCE AND IN VIEW OF YOUR AGE I WILL NOT TREAT THIS MATTER TOO SERIOUSLY . $ THREE , THREE AND THREE . $ 04 THREE DAYS NUMBER ONE DIET , THREE DAYS CONFINED TO CELL AND THREE DAYS' REMISSION . $ 06 ATTENTION ABOUT TURN , QUICK MARCH . $ LEFT-RIGHT-LEF-RI-LEF-RI-LEF ! $ 07 HE 'S THE SORT OF LAD WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO HELP . $ 04 SARH . $ 07 I SHAN'T BE BACK TILL TEA TIME , YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND M E . $ 04 SARH . $ 22 HERE YOU ARE , WHITE , HERE 'S YOUR DINNER , HALF A POUND OF BREAD AND A PINT OF WATER . $ WHILST UNDERGOING PUNISHMENT DIET , YOU ARE NOT COMPELLED TO WORK , BUT IF YOU FAIL TO DO SO YOU WILL NOT EARN ANY TOBAC CO . $ SO SHALL I TAKE THAT AWAY ? $ 03 NO SIR , I 'LL SEW IT . $ 22 OH , AND THERE 'S A LETTER FROM YOUR BIRD . $ 03 HELLO DARLING , FIRST I MUST TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU MOR E THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THE WHOLE WORLD , AND MORE THAN THAT . $ I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT HERE W TH ME . $ OH TOMMIE , IT SEEMS SUCH A LONG TIME BUT NO DOUBT THE TIME WILL SOON PASS AND YOU WILL BE HOLDING ME IN YOUR ARMS AGAIN ... $ WELL THE LATEST IS CHOPPER GOT NICKED THE OTHER DAY , I DON' T REALLY KNOW WHAT FOR , BUT HE IS OUT ON BAIL . $ I EXPECT HE WILL HAVE IT AWAY ON HIS TOES A BIT LIVELY BEFOR E THE TRIAL , AS HE HAS PLENTY OF FORM AND WILL VERY LIKELY WIND UP WITH PLENTY OF BIRD , IF HE PUTS IN AN APPEARANCE . $ REMEMBER , DARLING , THAT NO MATTER HOW LONG YOU ARE IN THER E I WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU FOR A MINUTE . $ I SHALL WAIT FOR YOU FOR EVER IF I HAVE TO . $ I ONLY LIVE FOR THE DAY WHEN YOU COME BACK TO ME . $ PLEASE SEND A VISITING ORDER AS SOON AS YOU CAN SO THAT I CA N COME AND SEE YOU . $ FROM YOUR EVER LOVING GIRL , BILLIE . $ SHE LOVES ME , SHE LOVES ME NOT , SHE LOVES ME , ETC. $ 05 WHITE ! $ 03 YUS , SIR ? $ 05 SHUT YOUR MOUTH ! $ 10 WHITE , WHITE ... $ 03 'OOO 'S THERE ... ? $ 10 IT 'S ME , REDBAND , I 'VE GOT SOME GEAR FOR YA FROM TOOL S GUNSTONE . $ 03 WOTCHA GOT ? $ 10 SOME GRUB AND A BIT OF SNOUT . $ 03 'ANDSOME . $ CHUCK IT 'ERE THEN . $ 10 HERE , WHATEVER YOU DO DON'T GET CAUGHT WIV IT . $ COZ IF YA DO I 'M FOR THE CHOP . $ 03 FANKS , MATE , AN' DON'T WORRY . $ TELL TOOLS FANKS WILLYA ? $ 10 OKAY . $ 23 1984 WHITE . $ FALL OUT FOR THE TRICK CYCLIST . $ 02 NOW LISTEN TO ME , TOMMIE , THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I HAVE SEEN YOU IN THE NINE MONTHS THAT YOU HAVE BEEN HERE AND WE DON'T SEEM TO BE MAKING ANY PROGRESS WHATEVER . $ 03 I DON'T KNOW WOTCHA ON ABAHT . $ 02 YES YOU DO , EVERY TIME I SEE YOU , YOU TELL ME A PACK OF LIES ABOUT YOURSELF . $ THE FIRST TIME YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE A SECOND GENERATION ITAL IAN AND THAT YOUR FATHER HAD A DELICATESSEN SHOP IN DEAN STR EET , SOHO . $ THE SECOND TIME YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE THE ILLEGITIMATE SON OF A COSTERMONGER AND YOUR MOTHER 'S A PROSTITUTE DOWN THE BAY SWATER ROAD . $ TODAY LET US TRY AND GET AT THE TRUTH . $ LOOK , TOMMIE , I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU . $ SOONER OR LATER YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO FACE UP TO THE TRUE FACTS OF YOUR LIFE . $ THE LONGER YOU LEAVE IT THE HARDER IT WILL BE FOR YOU TO COM E TO TERMS WITH IT . $ 03 I WISH YOU 'D LEAVE ORF , GUV , COZ I DON'T 'AVE THE FIRS T SUS WOTCHA ON ABAHT . $ 02 ALL RIGHT . $ LET US TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE . $ 03 RIGHTCHA ARE GUV , FIRE AWAY . $ 02 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PRISON SYSTEM ? $ 03 COR , YOU GOTTA BE JOKIN' AIN'T'CHA ? $ 02 NOT AT ALL , I SHOULD LIKE TO HAVE YOUR OPINION . $ 03 STRAIGHT UP ? $ I FORT ALL YA WANTED TER FIND AHT IS IF I 'M A NUTTER OR NOT . $ 02 NO , LET ME HAVE YOUR OPINION . $ 03 IF I TELLYA YOU AIN'T GONNA GRASS ME T' THE GOV'NER ARE Y A ? $ 02 WHATEVER YOU TELL ME IN THIS OFFICE IS CONFIDENTIAL . $ 03 OKAY , GUV , WELL I FINGK THE NICK STINKS ... $ 02 CAN YOU ELABORATE ON THAT ? $ 03 WOT ? $ 02 HOW DO YOU THINK THINGS COULD BE IMPROVED FOR EXAMPLE ? $ 03 THE ONLY WAY TER GET ANYTHING CHANGED IN THE NICK IS TER 'AVE A REAL SMASH UP , KILL A FEW SCREWS , MURDER THE GUV'NE R , AN' BURN THE BLEEDIN' PLACE DARHN . $ THAT 'S THE ONLY WAY TER GET THE PUBLIC TER TAKE AN INTEREST . $ BUT A COURSE THAT AIN'T NEVER GONNA 'APPEN , SO FINGS 'LL JU ST GO THE SAME LIKE WOT THEY 'AVE ALWAYS DONE . $ 02 WHAT WOULD YOU SAY , IF I TOLD YOU THAT I ENTIRELY AGREED WITH YOU ? $ 03 I DUNNO . $ ANY OLD 'OW ALL I WONNA DO IS ME BIRD , AND GET AHT WIV'AHT NO BOVVA SEE ? $ 02 BUT THE WAY YOU 'RE GOING , YOU 'LL SPEND MORE OF YOUR LI FE IN PRISON THAN YOU WILL OUTSIDE . $ 03 NOT IF I 'M DEAD CUNNIN' I WON'T ... $ 02 DO YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK ? $ 03 WOT ? $ 02 I THINK YOU ARE NOT NEARLY AS BIG A VILLAIN AS YOU WOULD LIKE EVERYONE TO THINK YOU ARE . $ 03 IS THAT SO ? $ 02 YES . $ I THINK YOU PUT IT ON FOR THE BENEFIT OF MEN LIKE TOOLS GUNS TONE . $ #71 $ IT WON'T GET YOU ANYWERE YOU KNOW . $ 03 THAT 'S WOT YOU FINGK , MATE . $ 02 HAVE IT YOUR WAY , BUT IF I WERE YOU I 'D THINK ABOUT WHA T I HAVE TOLD YOU . $ 03 RIGHTCHA ARE , GUV . $ I 'LL FINGK IT OVER DOUBLE SERIOUS LIKE . $ CAN I SHOOT OFF NAR , I 'M GETTIN' BE'IND WIV SEWING MY MAIL BAGS . $ 02 YES YOU CAN GO , BUT I 'LL CALL YOU UP AGAIN IN A FEW MON THS AND WE 'LL TALK AGAIN . $ 03 ANY TIME , GUV , ANY TIME . $ YOU 'RE THE NUT CASE EXPERT . $ 23 1986 GUNSTONE , YOU FALL OUT FOR THE TRICK CYCLIST . $ 01 WOTCHA , DOC , SHRUNK ANY GOOD BONCES LATELY ? $ 02 SIT DOWN , TOOLS . $ 01 YOU DON'T MIND IF I HAVE A BURN ? $ 02 NOT AT ALL . $ 01 AIN'T GOT A FUCKING LIGHT . $ GOT A MATCH ? $ TA DOC . $ TER TELLYA THE TROOF , DOC , I DON'T KNOW WHY YA BOVVA WIV T RYIN' TER FIND AHT WOT 'S GOIN' ON IN MY NUT . $ COZ YA KNOW I AIN'T NEVVA GONNA TELLYA NUFINGK . $ 02 YOU 'D BE SURPRISED , TOOLS ... $ 01 OH . $ WOTCHA MEAN ? $ 02 WHAT I MEAN IS THAT YOU TELL ME FAR MORE THAN YOU THINK Y OU DO . $ EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T ACTUALLY TELL ME ANYTHING AT ALL . $ 01 'S THAT A FACT ? $ 02 YES IT IS . $ YOU 'VE GOT AN IQ OF 120 , AND HALF THE TIME YOU ARE ONLY PU TTING ON AN ACT . $ YOU ARE NOT NEARLY AS TOUGH AS YOU WOULD LIKE US ALL TO THIN K . $ 01 YER DON'T WANT TER BET ON IT DO YA , DOC ? $ 02 I KNOW THAT YOU 'RE A HARD MAN IN A FIGHT . $ BUT WHAT YOU DON'T SEEM TO REALIZE IS THAT , THAT IN ITSELF IS A FORM OF WEAKNESS . $ 01 I BETCHA YA THE ONLY GEEZER IN THIS NICK WOT FINKS THAT . $ AN' I 'LL TELLYA SUMINGK ELSE . $ YOU 'D BLOODY SOON CHANGE YA MIND IF YA EVER GOT INTER A PUN CH-UP WIV ME . $ 02 I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE ANY PHYSICAL FEAR , BUT THAT ONLY S HOWS THAT YOU HAVE NO IMAGINATION . $ 01 YER KNOW WOT , DOC , I RECKON IT 'S YOU THAT 'S ORF YA RO CKER . $ 02 ONE OF THESE DAYS IT MAY DAWN ON YOU , THAT THERE IS SOME TRUTH IN WHAT I SAY . $ 01 DON'T 'OLDYA BREATH , DOC . $ YA NEVER KNOWS ONE A' THESE DAYS YOU MIGHT 'AVE TO SMASH SOM EONE'S FACE IN ; THEN WOT WILL YA POUND NOTE RABBIT BE WORF . $ TO YOU THEN , GO ON ANSWER ME THAT . $ YOU CAN'T , CAN YOU ? $ STRAIGHT UP , DOC , IF YA WAS TER ARST ME I 'D SAY YA DIDN'T KNOW THE FIRST FING ABAHT WOT GOES IN TERAWAYS' NUTS . $ AN' I 'LL TELLYA WHY SHALL I ? $ 02 PLEASE DO . $ 01 IT 'S DEAD OBVIOUS AIN'T IT . $ YOU LOOKS AT IT ONE WAY AND WE LOOKS AT IT ANUVVA , YOU FING K YOU 'RE RIGHT AN' SO DO WE . $ WOT I MEAN IS , LIKE , YOU 'RE ON ONE SIDE AIN'T CHA , AND W E 'RE ON THE UVVA . $ THAT 'S THE WAY IT 'S ALWAYS BIN , AND ALWAYS LIKELY TER BE . $ COURSE I KNOW YA GET A LOAD OF CRAWLERS AND GRASSES WOTCHA F INGK YA CAN GET TER GO STRAIGHT , BUT THEM GEEZERS NEVVA OUG HTA 'AVE BIN STUCK IN THE NICK IN THE BLEEDIN' FIRST PLACE , COZ THEY AIN'T NUFINGK BUT A LOAD OF SEX MANIACS AND SCHMOC K PUNTERS ANY'OW AIN'T THEY . $ SO LIKE THE FULL STRENGTH IS YA JUST WASTIN' YA BLEEDIN' TIM E AIN'TCHA ? $ 02 IF I BELIEVED THAT TO BE TRUE I WOULD RESIGN TOMORROW . $ 01 YA GOT PLENTY OF BOTTLE I 'LL SAY THAT FOR YA , DOC . $ YOU AIN'T A BAD GEEZER , DOC , BUT THE TROUBLE IS MOST OF TH E SCREWS IN 'ERE ARE NO GOOD BASTARDS WHO TAKE A RIGHT SADIS TIC DELIGHT IN MAKIN' EVERYONE'S LIFE A BLEEDING MISERY . $ SO WEN A GEEZER LIKE YOU COMES ALONG AN' STARTS TREATIN' EVE RYONE LIKE THEY WAS HUMAN BEIN' WE DISTRUSTS 'EM MORE 'N THE SCREWS . $ 02 VERY WELL , TOOLS , YOU CAN GO . $ I 'LL SEE YOU AGAIN IN A FEW MONTHS . $ 01 SUITCHA SELF , DOC . $ I ALWAYS ENJOY 'AVIN' A LITTLE RABBIT WIV YA . $ 01 TOOLS GUNSTONE DOING SEVEN YEARS , BOLLOCKS . $ 12 I WANT TO GO HOME , I DON'T LIKE IT HERE . $ I 'LL NEVER GET USED TO THE ATMOSPHERE . $ I 'M SORRY I DID IT , BUT IF THAT 'S NOT ENOUGH I 'LL DO PEN ANCE AT HOME WHERE THINGS AREN'T SO TOUGH . $ 13 ONE DAY I WENT AROUND TO MY SISTER-IN-LAW'S FLAT FOR A DR INK. $ AS I WATCHED HER WALKING ABOUT , I WAS QUITE EXCITED BY THE SEDUCTIVE MOVEMENT OF HER CURVACIOUS BUTTOCKS UNDER HER THIN SILKEN DRESS . $ AND BEFORE LONG MY PRICK STARTED JUMPING ABOUT IN MY TROUSER S AND I DECIDED TO HAVE IT OFF WITH HER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE . $ WITHOUT ANY MESSING ABOUT I SHOVED MY HAND UP HER CLOUT AN' STUCK ME FINGER UP 'ER MUFFIN , SHE SEEMED TO LIKE IT AND DI D NOT TRY TO STOP ME AS I FRANTICALLY RUBBED HER INFLAMED WO MAN FLESH WITH THE BACK OF MY HAND . $ WE BOTH STRIPPED BOLLOCK NAKED AND MY SWOLLEN BLOOD-CHARGED COCK WAS STIFF AND ERECT AS IT THRASHED SPASMODICALLY AGAINS T MY HAIRY BELLY . $ ROUGHLY I MASSAGED AND TITILLATED HER TITS TILL THE NIPPLES REDDENED DARKLY . $ A MINUTE OR SO OF THIS TREATMENT AND SHE WANTED ALL THE FUCK ING I COULD GIVE . $ SHE BEGAN TO MOAN AND WHIMPER AND BEGGED ME TO GIVE IT TO HE R . $ SUDDENLY SHE GOT ON TOP OF ME AND GATHERED MY BURNING COCK B ETWEEN THE MILKY FLESH OF HER SPRINGY TITS . $ FOR SEVERAL MINUTES SHE SQUEEZED AND ROLLED AND THRUST , UNT IL WITH A FRANTIC JERK I SPURTED MY CREAMY HOT SPUNK ALL OVE R HER CAPTIVE THIGHS . $ FULL STOP . $ THEN ON TUESDAY ... $ 03 TOMMIE WHITE WAS HERE . $ 18 LET US PRAY . $ ' WHEN THE WICKED MAN TURNETH AWAY FROM HIS WICKEDNESS THAT HE HATH COMMITTED , AND DOETH THAT WHICH IS RIGHT , HE SHALL SAVE HIS SOUL ALIVE . ' $ REPENT YE : FOR THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS AT HAND . $ THE LORD BE WITH YOU . $ 30 AND WITH THY SPIRIT . $ 18 LET US PRAY , LORD , HAVE MERCY UPON US . $ 30 CHRIST HAVE MERCY UPON US . $ 18 LORD HAVE MERCY UPON US . $ AMEN . $ 23 QUIET , REMEMBER WHERE YOU ARE . $ 18 MAY I TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY OF WISHING EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU A VERY HAPPY CHRISTMAS . $ THIS AFTERNOON THERE WILL BE THE USUAL CHRISTMAS CONCERT , A ND WILL HIGGINS AND WOLSTENCROFT STAY BEHIND TO HELP ARRANGE THE CHAIRS . $ OUR TEXT TODAY IS TAKEN FROM THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ST JOHN : CHAPTER 3 VERSE 18 . $ ' HE THAT BELIEVETH IN HIM IS NOT CONDEMNED , BUT HE THAT BE LIEVETH NOT IS CONDEMNED ALREADY , BECAUSE HE HATH NOT BELIE VED IN THE NAME OF THE ONLY BEGOTTEN SON OF GOD . ' $ YET THE SENTENCES OF ACQUITTAL , THROUGH THE LOVE , MERCY AN D FREE GRACE OF GOD , IN JESUS CHRIST , FAR OUT-NUMBER THE M ERITED SENTENCES OF CONDEMNATION ... $ ' FOR GOD SENT NOT HIS SON INTO THE WORLD TO CONDEMN THE WOR LD , BUT THAT THE WORLD , THROUGH HIM MIGHT BE SAVED . ' $ WHEN THE WHOLE WORLD BECAME GUILTY BEFORE GOD , HE AT ONCE O PENED A DOOR OF DELIVERANCE AND HIS SALVATION WAS MADE KNOWN ... $ BEFORE THE JUDGMENT OF GOD'S SENTENCE FELL UPON THE EARLY WO RLD , THE WAY OF SAFETY WAS PROCLAIMED BY GOD'S SPECIAL MESS ENGER ... $ I WAS READING A STORY IN A NEWSPAPER THE OTHER DAY WITH THE HEADLINE ' JUST IN TIME ' . $ IT TOLD OF A JET PILOT IN THE R.A.F. WHO WAS PLEADED WITH TO SURRENDER HIS HEART AND LIFE TO THE LORD JESUS CHRIST BY ON E OF THE MASTER'S MESSENGERS . $ THOUGH , AT FIRST INDIFFERENT TO HIS UNSAVED STATE , AS HE L ISTENED TO THE MESSAGE OF THE GOSPEL , HE RECEIVED AND CLAIM ED THE WONDERFUL GIFT OF SALVATION AND FORGIVENESS OF SIN . $ THAT AFTERNOON , WHILE DOING A FLIGHT IN HIS JET PLANE , IT CRASHED AND HE WOKE TO FIND HIMSELF IN THE PRESENCE OF THE S AVIOUR WHOM HE HAD ONLY THAT MORNING ACCEPTED ' JUST IN TIME ' . $ WHAT IF SOME WHO HAVE FAILED TO RESPOND TO THAT LOVING INVIT ATION : ' COME UNTO ME ' , THE SENTENCE MIGHT BE : ' BEHOLD THE JUDGE STANDETH AT THE DOOR ' . $ IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER , THE SON AND THE HOLY GHOST ... W E WILL NOW SING THAT WELL KNOWN CAROL - WHILE SHEPHERDS WATC HED THEIR FLOCKS BY NIGHT ALL SEATED ON THE GROUND . $ #72 29 HAPPY CHRISTMAS , BOVIS . $ 09 HAPPY CHRISTMAS , SIR , AT LEAST I THINK IT IS , ISN'T IT ? $ 22 COME ALONG , GET MOVING . $ 09 YES , SIR , THANK YOU , SIR , CHEERIO I EXPECT , SIR ? $ 29 HAPPY CHRISTMAS , FYFE . $ 12 HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR , SIR . $ 29 THANK YOU . $ HAPPY CHRISTMAS , WHITE . $ 03 ' APPY CHRISTMAS , SIR . $ FANKS . $ 29 HAPPY CHRISTMAS , GUNSTONE . $ 01 AN' THE SAME TER YOU , GOVERNOR , I 'OPE YA 'AVE MANY OF 'EM . $ 29 HAPPY CHRISTMAS , HIGGINS , YOU WON'T BE HERE FOR THE NEX T ONE , WILL YOU ? $ 14 OOO NO , SIR , I WON'T . $ I 'LL BE AS FREE AS A BIRD , HAVING AN ABSOLUTELY SOOPER TIM E CAMPING AROUND AT PARTIES ALL OVER MAYFAIR . $ 15 LUCKY BITCH . $ 29 HAPPY CHRISTMAS , WOLSTENCROFT . $ 15 HAPPY CHRISTMAS , SIR . $ OOO THANKS EVER SO MUCH , I REALLY LOVE ORANGES THEY 'RE GOO D FOR THE COMPLEXION , AREN'T THEY ? $ 22 NEXT . $ 29 HAPPY CHRISTMAS , FITZROY . $ 16 HAPPY CHRISTMAS , SIR . $ 22 HELLO , HELLO , HELLO , WHAT 'S GOIN' ON HERE THEN ? $ 15 NOTHIN' SIR . $ I 'VE JUST BIN SEWIN' HIS BUTTON ON , BOSS . $ 22 IF IT WASN'T CHRISTMAS , I 'D NICK THE PAIR OF YE FOR IND ECENCY . $ 14 WE 'RE NOT INDECENT , ARE WE , MARIGOLD ? $ 15 CORSE WE 'RE NOT DEAR , WE 'RE AS PURE AS DRIVEN SLUSH . $ 18 RIGHT MEN , CAN WE GET THE SCENERY ON PLEASE . $ RIGHT , ARE WE ALL READY ? $ RIGHT THANK YOU P.O. $ MY FRIENDS THOSE OF YOU THAT WERE WITH US LAST YEAR , WILL R EMEMBER THE MOST AMUSING IMPERSONATION OF PRACTICALLY THE EN TIRE PRISON STAFF BY BARRY LUCAS , BUT WHAT YOU MAY NOT KNOW IS THAT SINCE HIS RELEASE BARRY HAS GONE FROM STRENGTH TO ST RENGTH , AND HAS WRITTEN TO SAY THAT HE 'S NOW DOING THE CLU BS UP NORTH . $ HOWEVER , NOTWITHSTANDING THE EXCELLENCY OF MR LUCAS , THIS YEAR'S CONCERT PROMISES TO BE EVEN BETTER . $ I 'D LIKE TO THANK ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE WORKED SO HARD BEHIND THE SCENES , TO PUT THE SHOW ON . $ THE FIRST ITEM ON THE PROGRAMME IS A SONG ENTITLED ' BROWN S KIN GIRL ' SUNG BY REBAB OYONO M'BIA . $ SPLENDID , NEXT WE HAVE WITH CONSIDERABLE DIFFICULTY AND AT GREAT EXPENSE MANAGED TO OBTAIN THE SERVICES OF THE FABULOUS GAY SISTERS . $ 14 HELLO EVERYBODY , ARE YOU HAPPY ? $ 15 I 'VE JUST HAD A DREADFUL ACCIDENT . $ I 'VE CRASHED MY CAR . $ 14 WHAT A SHAME , WHAT HAPPENED ? $ 15 HE GAVE ME NO CHANCE AT ALL , I TOLD HIM STRAIGHT , I SAI D ' YOU SHOULDN'T BE IN CHARGE OF A PRAM , LET ALONE A MOTOR BIKE . ' $ 14 QUITE RIGHT DEAR . $ 15 HE SAID ' YOU CAN KISS MY ASS ' , I SAID ' OH YOU WANT TO SETTLE OUT OF COURT DO YOU ? ' $ YOU 'RE LOOKING VERY WELL DEAR . $ 14 YES , I 'VE JUST BEEN TO SWEDEN TO HAVE THE OPERATION . $ 15 HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN YOU CAME ROUND ? $ 14 A LITTLE BIT LOST . $ 15 WHAT DID YOU SAY WHEN YOU LEFT THE HOSPITAL ? $ 14 CHEERIO COCK . $ 15 ARE YOU READY ? $ 14 I 'M ALWAYS READY . $ 15 OFF YOU GO SIR . $ 14 15 FIRST HE GAVE ME WHIPPED CREAM WHIRLS WITH LOST OF NUT S ON TOP . $ THEN HE GAVE ME A BAR OF MARZIPAN . $ DEAR OH LOR , I FELT SO SMALL WHEN OUT OF HIS TROUSER POCKET HE PULLED A BAG OF BRANDY BALLS . $ ME STICK JAW WITH LOTS OF ACID DROPS I SAID ' IS THAT THE FI NISH OF YOUR STOCK ' . $$ BUT HE SAID ' NO . $ BEFORE I GO I 'LL GIVE YOU A BIT OF MY ALMOND ROCK . ' $ I 'LL GIVE YOU A BIT OF MY ALMOND ROCK . ' $ 18 THE SHORT PLAY YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE HAS BEEN WRITTEN SPEC IALLY FOR THIS OCCASION BY ONE OF OUR GUESTS , J. W. FYFE . $ I 'LL LEAVE HIM TO INTRODUCE IT . $ 12 THE SHORT PLAY YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE IS ENTITLED ' THE RAT TRAP ' . $ IT TAKES PLACE WITHIN THE PRECINCTS OF A PRISON , THERE ARE TWO CHARACTERS , A PRISON OFFICER WHICH WILL BE PLAYED BY J. ARTHUR WILDE , AND A PRISONER PLAYED BY SEAN MURPHY . $ I THINK YOU WILL FIND IT QUITE A POLEMIC . $ GENTLEMEN ' THE RAT TRAP ' . $ LET THE GALLED JADE WINCE , OUR WITHERS ARE UNWRUNG . $ 10 I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU HAVE TO BE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT . $ YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE TEN YEARS AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE THE O UTSIDE WORLD AGAIN FOR AS LONG AS YOU LIVE . $ 08 FOR EVERY YEAR THAT I DO YOU DO SIX MONTHS , THAT 'S WHAT AMUSES ME . $ YOU ARE AS MUCH A PRISONER AS I AM . $ 12 I THINK THIS PLACE IS AFFECTING YOUR MIND . $ 08 MAYBE IT IS , MAYBE I AM RIGHT ROUND THE BEND , BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING . $ YOU ARE PART OF MY LIFE , EVERYWHERE I GO YOU HAVE TO GO TOO , IF I WANT TO GO ON TO THE BOG , YOU HAVE TO COME WITH ME , YOU HAVE TO BRING ME MY MEALS AND LOCK ME UP AT NIGHT AND OPEN MY DOOR IN THE MORNING . $ IF I GET SICK , YOU HAVE TO NURSE ME TILL I AM BETTER . $ IN FACT YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT ON ME HAND AND FOOT UNTIL THE DAY I GO OFF TO THAT BIG NICK IN THE SKY AND SEW CELESTIAL M AILBAGS FOR ALL ETERNITY . $ BUT I WOULDN'T CHANGE PLACES WITH YOU FOR ANYTHING . $ 31 THE YEARS ROLL BY AND THE OLD LAG REMAINED IN THE BEST OF SPIRITS WHILST THE SCREW REMAINED AS MISANTHROPIC AS HELL . $ HE SIMPLY COULD NOT STAND TO SEE THE PRISONER SO HAPPY AND C ONTENTED , HE DID EVERYTHING HE COULD TO MAKE THE PRISONER'S LIFE A MISERY . $ LOCKING HIM UP IN SOLITARY CONFINEMENT ON A BREAD AND WATER DIET FOR LONG PERIODS , BREAKING HIS CELL WINDOWS IN THE WIN TER AND MAKING HIM SEW MAILBAGS WITH NUMB FINGERS . $ TWENTY FIVE YEARS PASS BY , BUT STILL THE SCREW COULD NOT BR EAK THE PRISONER'S HAPPY SPIRIT . $ 08 HOW ARE YOU FEELING THESE DAYS , SCREW . $ 10 SAY SIR WHEN YOU SPEAK TO A PRISON OFFICER . $ AND WIPE THAT SMILE OFF YOUR FACE . $ 08 IT 'S BEING SO CHEERFUL THAT KEEPS ME GOING . $ 10 I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU , I REALLY DON'T . $ BUT THINK OF ALL THE THINGS YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO W ITH YOUR LIFE IF YOU HAD BEEN OUTSIDE . $ PERHAPS YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO HAVE A FAMILY AND A HOME . $ WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO BE A PASSENGER ON ONE OF THOSE SUPERSON IC JETS THAT FLY OVERHEAD EVERY DAY ? $ 08 NO , WOULD YOU ? $ 10 YES , I WOULD . $ 08 I RECKON THAT 'S THE BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US . $ YOU EXPECT MORE FROM LIFE THAN I DO , I AM QUITE SATISFIED T HAT WE HAVE EACH OTHER - WE ARE LIKE BROTHERS . $ 10 GET IN YOUR CELL . $ 08 CERTAINLY , SCREW . $ GOODNIGHT . $ 12 DURING THE NIGHT THE OLD LAG DIES QUITE PEACEFULLY IN HIS SLEEP . $ WHEN THE SCREW FINDS HIM IN THE MORNING HE HAS A SMILE ON HI S FACE . $ #73 10 WIPE THAT SMILE OFF YOUR FACE AND GET UP , BEFORE I PUT Y OU ON THE GOVERNOR'S REPORT . $ COME ON , GET UP , DO YOU HEAR . $ ARE YOU DISOBEYING AN ORDER ? $ COME ON , GET UP , I WON'T WARN YOU AGAIN . $ DO YOU HEAR , GET UP ! $ THE WAY YOU 'RE GOING YOU 'LL END UP ON BREAD AND WATER IN T HE CHOKEY CELLS FOR A WEEK . $ 12 REALIZING THAT THE PRISONER HAS BEEN MERCIFULLY RELEASED , THE SCREW LOSES THE BALANCE OF HIS MIND . $ SEVERAL NIGHTS LATER HE DREAMS THAT THE OLD LAG IS MOCKING H IM FROM THE GRAVE . $ 08 HELLO , SCREW , I AM FREE AT LAST , NO MORE MAILBAGS TO S EW , NO MORE SLOPPING OUT , NO MORE GETTING LOCKED UP . $ I AM FREE BUT YOU STILL HAVE BIRD TO DO . $ 10 WHERE ARE YOU ? $ COME ON , SHOW YOURSELF . $ I KNOW YOU 'RE THERE . $ 08 I HAVE LEFT YOU FOR EVER AND YOU WILL HAVE TO GET ALONG W ITHOUT ME . $ 10 YOU 'RE NOT PLAYING THE GAME . $ IT ISN'T CRICKET . $ 08 CHEERIO , SOREW , FROM NOW ON YOU MUST DO THE TIME FOR BO TH OF US . $ 12 A SHORT TIME LATER AFTER A HEART ATTACK BROUGHT ON BY HIS MADNESS , THE SCREW ALSO DIES . $ IN THE LIFE HEREAFTER THE OLD LAG BECOMES THE SCREW AND THE SCREW , THE PRISONER . $ 08 I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU HAVE TO BE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT . $ 12 JUST THE LUCK OF THE DRAW - THERE BUT FOR THE GRACE OF GO D GO I . $ 04 O.K. $ MR MANZI . $ LOCK THEM UP . $ 05 SARH ! $ COME ON , GET BEHIND YOUR DOORS . $ 08 ' IT 'S A LONG WAY TO TEPPERARY , IT 'S A LONG WAY TO GO , IT 'S A LONG WAY TO TIPPERARY , TO THE SWEETEST GIRL I KNO W . $ GOODBYE PICCADILLY , FAREWELL LEICESTER SQUARE . $ IT 'S A LONG , LONG WAY TO TIPPERARY . $ AND MY HEART LIES THERE . ' $ 05 MURPHY STOP THAT SINGING . $ 15 I 'M FED UP WITH ALL THIS SCRUBBING AND CLEANING . $ IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY'S CHAR . $ 04 A CLEAN PRISON IS A HAPPY PRISON . $ 05 COME ON . $ I WANT EVERY CELL ON MY LANDING TO SPARKLE . $ 01 IS THERE A PRIZE FOR THE CLEANEST PETER , SIR ? $ 05 GUNSTONE . $ JUST GET ON WITH YOUR WORK AND A LITTLE LESS RABBIT . $ 01 ANYFING YOU SAY , MR MANZI . $ ER MOSSEY $ LET 'S HAVE A LOOK AT THE BOOK , WHO STILL OWES FOR SNOUT ? $ FUCK ME IT 'S SIX WEEKS . $ 13 FITZROY . $ I 'VE BIN AT HIM BUT HE AIN'T COUGHED UP YET , ALL HE DOES I S PUTS ME IN PROMISE LAND . $ 01 HERE TOMMIE , GO AND GIVE THAT SCHNIDE FITZROY A PULL , A ND I 'LL STICK THE FRIGHTENERS ON HIM . $ 03 ' ERE , FITZROY , TOOLS WANTS TO 'AVE A LITTLE TALK WIV Y A . $ 16 WHAT FOR ? $ 03 YE KNOW WOT FOR , MATE . $ COME ON . $ 16 CAN'T I FINISH CLEANING OUT MY CELL FIRST ? $ 03 YOU 'VE FINISHED IT . $ 16 YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT DID YOU ? $ 03 LISTEN , ARE YOU COMIN' OR AM I GONNA 'AVE T' STICK IN ON YA ? $ 01 WOTCHA , FITZROY ME OLE MATE . $ 'OW 'S TRICKS ? $ 16 ALRIGHT . $ 01 THE FING IS WOT I WANT T' KNOW IS 'OW COME YOU AIN'T PAID ME THE SNOUT YOU OWE ME ? $ 16 I TRIED MY BEST BUT I COULDN'T GET ME TASK FINISHED THIS WEEK . $ 01 NAR AIN'T THAT A TERRIBLE FING ? $ 16 I 'LL PAY YOU HONEST I WILL , BUT I MUST HAVE MORE TIME . $ 01 LISTEN , SON , I USUALLY ALLOW PEOPLE THREE WEEKS , BUT O N ACCOUNT OF YOU BEING A PLASTIC , I 'VE GIVEN YOU SIX WEEKS S . $ IF YOU DON'T BUNG US A OUNCE NEXT WEEK IT 'S ON YA , RIGHT . $ YOU GORN BLEEDIN' MUTTON OR SUMINK , SON ? $ 16 NO I 'LL PAY YOU HONEST I WILL . $ 01 YOU BETTER 'AD AN ALL MATE . $ UVVA WISE YA MIGHT FIND YA SELF MISSIN' A EAR OR SUMINK . $ 03 TOOLS . $ 01 NAR PISS ORF OUT OF IT , AND DON'T SAY YA AIN'T BIN WARNE D . $ 05 GUNSTONE I 'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU LOT SO WATCH IT . $ 01 DEFINITELY , GUV . $ YOU KNOW WOT I FINK YOU OUGHTA BIN IN THE CID I MEAN TER SAY YOU 'RE SO CUNNING . $ THERE AIN'T NUFINK WOT GOES ON IN THIS NICK WOT YOU DON'T KN OW ABOUT IS THERE ? $ 05 JUST WATCH IT THAT 'S ALL ... $ 13 HELLO , MY SNOUT TIN 'S GONE . $ HERE JOCK YOU BEEN IN MY PETER AND PINCHED MY TIN ? $ 26 ARE YOU CALLIN' ME A THIEF , YOU WEE BUGGER ? $ 13 WELL SOMEBODY 'S HAD IT . $ HERE AXE YOU SEEN ANYONE GO IN MY PETER AND PINCH MY SNOUT T IN ? $ OH FITZROY , YOU BEEN IN MY PETER AND PINCHED MY TIN ? $ 16 NO , I 'VE BEEN HERE ALL THE TIME . $ 13 HERE WHAT 'S THIS THEN ? $ 16 HERE THAT 'S MINE . $ 05 COME ON YOU TWO BREAK IT UP !!! $ DO YOU HEAR , GET TO YOUR CELLS . $ 13 I AIN'T FINISHED WITH YOU YET FITZROY . $ 16 BOLLOCKS ! $ 13 SUCK 'EM . $ 08 ' FALLIN ' IN LOVE WITH LOVE , IS FALLING IN LOVE WITH MA KE BELIEVE , FALLIN IN LOVE WITH LOVE IS PLAYING THE FOOL . $ I FELL IN LOVE WITH LOVE EVER LASTING BUT LOVE FELL OUT WITH H ME ... ' $ 05 MURPHY , I WON'T TELL YOU AGAIN , STOP THAT SINGING . $ 08 YES , SIR , SORRY , SIR . $ 27 MR MANZI , CAN I HAVE THE BLOOD DONORS PLEASE . $ 05 YES SARH . $ FALL OUT BLOOD DONORS . $ ALL THOSE FOR OPERATION VAMPIRE FALL OUT DOWN HERE . $ COME ON MOVE YOURSELVES . $ 01 BLEEDIN' LIBERTY . $ IT 'S GEEZERS DOING BIRD AND GEEZERS IN THE ARMY WHO ARE THE BIGGEST BLOOD DONORS IN THE BLEEDIN' COUNTRY . $ 23 PERMISSION TO CARRY ON VISITS SARH . $ 04 1984 WHITE ! $ 03 'OW COMES I AIN'T BIN 'EARIN' FROM YA SO MUCH LATELY ? $ 24 WELL YA SEE THE FING IS MUM 'S BIN SICK AND I AIN'T 'AD N O TIME TER WRITE T' YA . $ 03 LISTEN , DARLIN' , DON'T START BUNGIN' ME A LOAD OF OLD M OODY . $ IF YA WAS TER ARST ME I 'D SAY YOU WAS 'AVIN' GAMES WIV ANUV VA GEEZER . $ 24 NO , I AIN'T , MY LIFE I AIN'T . $ I ONLY LOVE YOU , DON'T I ? $ 03 THEN 'OW COMES WHEN I FIRST GOT ME PORRIDGE YER USED TO S END ME A LETTER EVERY WEEK AND COME ON A VISIT EVERY MONTH . $ THIS IS THE FIRST TIME YA SHOWED IN EIGHT BLEEDIN' WEEKS . $ 24 I MEANT TER COME LAST MONTH , STRAIGHT UP I DID , BUT ME OLD LADY WOULDN'T LET ME . $ STRAIGHT UP SHE WOULDN'T . $ #74 03 ' OW COMES THAT THEN ? $ 24 SHE RECKONS I DIDN'T OUGHTER 'AVE NUFINK ELSE TER DO WIV YA , ON ACCOUNT OF YA BEIN' IN THE NICK AN' THAT . $ 03 WELL THAT 'S BLEEDIN' CHARMIN' , AIN'T IT , WHO DOES SHE BLEEDIN' WELL FINK SHE IS , ANY OLD 'OW ? $ ANYONE CAN END UP IN THE NICK , CAN'T THEY ? $ IF YOU GO OUT FOR A DRINK AN' SMASH YOUR CAR UP OR GET INTER A PUNCH UP , IT DON'T MATTER WHO YOU ARE , DOES IT ? $ 24 IT AIN'T NO GOOD YER DOIN' YER NUT , TOMMIE ... $ I 'M 'ERE AIN'T I , THAT OUGHTER SHOW YA I STILL LOVES YA , DON'T IT ? $ 04 THANK YOU . $ HOW ARE YOU , ROSE ? $ 25 NOT SO BAD , MR EVANS , 'OW 'S YA SELF ? $ 04 ONE DAY 'S MUCH THE SAME AS ANY OTHER IN THIS PLACE . $ 25 TELL ME MR EVANS ' OW 'S TOOLS BIN ACTIN ' LATELY , I 'OP E 'E 'S BEIN' BEHAVING HIMSELF . $ 04 YOU KNOW TOOLS , THE LIFE AND SOUL OF THE PARTY . $ 1986 GUNSTONE ! $ 01 WOTCHA GAL , 'OW 'S BIZNES ? $ 25 UP AND DARHN LIKE TOWER BRIDGE . $ 01 YOU MEAN IN AND OUT LIKE THE BOAT RACE , DON'T YOU ? $ 25 'OW ARE YOU , DARLIN ' . $ 01 BLEEDIN' CHEESED ORF , THIS DUMP IS MAKIN ' ME FLAT CHEST ED . $ 25 LOOK , DARLIN' , I READ IN THE LINENS THE UVVA DAY THAT T HERE 'S A LAW GOIN' FROO PARLIAMENT ABAHT GEEZERS IN THE NIC K HAVIN' CONJOOGAL WEEKENDS . $ 01 I 'OPE IT GOES FROO SOON , COZ I COULDN'T 'ARF DO WIV A B IT OF THE OTHER . $ 25 YOU 'RE A DIRTY OLD RASCAL . $ 01 NAR THAT WASN'T ALL THAT NICE A FING TO SAY . $ I MEAN YOU CAN GET STUFFED WEN YA FEEL LIKE IT . $ AN' ALL I GOT IS ME BLEEDIN' RIGHT 'AND . $ 25 SORRY , DARLIN' , I DIDN'T MEAN TER UPSETCHA MY LIFE I DI DN'T . $ 01 WELL , JUST WATCH IT , THAT 'S ALL . $ I 'VE GOT ME FEELIN'S , AIN'T I ? $ 25 SORRY DARLING . $ 01 'ERE YOU OVER THERE $ 'OW COMES YER AIN'T BIN TER SEE 'IM LATELY ? $ 24 I DON'T SEE WOT THAT 'AS GOTTA DO WIV YOU ? $ 01 YA DON'T , DON'TCHA - $ IF YOU DON'T , WATCH OUT I 'LL BE SENDIN' ONE OF ME TEAM ARO UND TO 'AVE A LITTLE BUNNY WIV YA . $ 03 LEAVE ORFF , TOOLS . $ 24 WHOSE 'E ? $ 03 'E 'S ME MATE , AIN'T 'E ? $ WE 'VE GOT THIS PLACE SEWN UP . $ 01 AN' WHERE 'S THAT PITCHER WOT YOU PROMISED TER SEND HIM . $ 24 I DON'T LIKE 'AVIN' ME PITCHER TOOK . $ 01 LISTEN , OLD TOMMIE 'AS BIN DOIN' 'IS BIRD DEAD 'ARD LATE LY COZ OF YOU . $ PACIN' UP AND DOWN 'IS PETER EVERY NIGHT . $ 03 FOR CHRISSAKES , BELT UP , TOOLS . $ 01 YOU WONNA 'AVE A RIGHT GO AT 'ER , SON , IT 'S THE ONLY F ING BIRDS UNDERSTAND . $ AIN'T THAT RIGHT , ROSIE ? $ 25 YER - SHE OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF HERSELF . $ 24 I DON'T SEE WHAT IT 'S GOT TO DO WITH HER . $ 25 THERE 'S NOTHING WORSE THAN A BIRD WHO GOES BENT ON A GEE ZER WHEN HE 'S IN THE NICK . $ LITTLE SCRUBBER . $ 24 WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SCRUBBER , BLEEDING OLD COW . $ 25 HERE YOU WANT TO WATCH YOURSELF , OR I 'LL SORT YOU OUT M YSELF , IF YOU HAVE A GO AT ME DARLING . $ 24 I 'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY . $ 25 ALRIGHT I 'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU OUTSIDE THE GATES . $ 24 ANYTIME YOU LIKE , YOU OLD WHORE . $ 23 LADIES , LADIES THAT 'S ENOUGH . $ 01 SUPPOSED TO BE 'IS BIRD , ARE YA . $ 23 TOOLS . $ 01 IF IT WAS ME , I 'D HAVE THE 'OUNDS ROUND AFTER YOU AND S HARPISH . $ 25 LISTEN LOVE , GOT TO GO . $ GOT A CLIENT . $ I 'LL SEE YOU NEXT MUNF . $ 01 YER ALRIGHT , GAL , DON'T FORGET TER KEEP BUNGIN' BERT TH E GELT EVERY WEEK . $ 25 DON'T WORRY LUV I WON'T . $ LITTLE SCRUBBER . $ 03 RIGHT . $ I 'LL BE OUT IN A FEW MONTHS NAR , SO DON'T LET 'S 'AVE NO M ORE LARKIN' ABOUT , RIGHT ? $ 24 I AIN'T BIN DOIN' NO LARKIN' ABOUT , I ALREADY TOLDYA THA T , DIDN'T I ? $ 03 I KNOW YA DID . $ ONLY I WANT A LETTER EVERY WEEK AND A VISIT NEXT MUNF AN' NO MESSIN' ! $ 24 PLEASE DON'T GET ANGRY , TOMMIE . $ I STILL LUVS YA JUST AS MUCH AS WOT I DID WEN YA WAS OUT . $ 03 THAT 'S ALRIGHT THEN . $ 04 WHITE , YOUR TIME 'S UP . $ 22 GOVERNORS APPLICATION , SARH . $ 04 BRING HIM IN MR STOUTE . $ 22 ATTENTION , QUICK MARCH , LEFT . $ FULL NAME AND NUMBER TO THE GOVERNOR . $ 16 1645 DAVID FITZROY , SIR . $ 07 YOU ASKED TO SEE ME , FITZROY ? $ 16 YES , SIR . $ 04 WELL , COME ON , OUT WITH IT LAD , WHAT DO YOU WANT ? $ 16 WELL , SIR , IT 'S ... WELL , SIR , I HAVE BEEN THREATENE D , SIR , AND AM IN NEED OF PROTECTION . $ 07 I SEE AND WHO HAS BEEN THREATENING YOU ? $ 16 I 'D RATHER NOT SAY , SIR . $ 07 IF YOU WILL NOT TELL ME WHO IS THREATENING YOU , HOW DO Y OU EXPECT ME TO PROTECT YOU ? $ 16 IF I TELL YOU I 'LL BE CUT TO BITS , SIR . $ 07 IF YOU WILL TELL ME WHO IT IS , I WILL SEE TO IT THAT YOU DO NOT COME INTO CONTACT WITH THEM . $ 16 BUT THESE MEN RUN THE PRISON , SIR , THEY WILL FIND WAYS OF GETTING ME . $ 07 LOOK FITZROY . $ I RUN THIS PRISON AND NOT THE PRISONERS . $ I DEMAND TO KNOW WHO IS THREATENING YOU . $ 16 WELL , SIR , IT 'S TOOLS GUNSTONE , SIR ... $ 07 I SEE , AND WHY IS HE THREATENING YOU ? $ 16 BECAUSE I OWE HIM SOME TOBACCO , SIR . $ 07 I SEE , VERY WELL , WE WILL PUT YOU IN ISOLATION FOR THE MOMENT . $ I WILL DECIDE IN A DAY OR TWO WHAT IS TO BE DONE WITH YOU . $ RULE 43 . $ 16 YES , SIR , THANK YOU , SIR . $ 04 ABOUT TURN , QUICK MARCH . $ 07 CHIEF , I WILL LEAVE THIS MATTER IN YOUR HANDS . $ I WANT GUNSTONE'S CELL SEARCHED AND IF POSSIBLE THIS ALLEGAT ION PROVEN . $ 04 SARH ! $ MR MANZI ! $ MR KING ! $ SPECIAL TURN OVER FOR GUNSTONE , WHERE IS HE ? $ 05 THE MAILBAG SHOP , SIR . $ 04 HE 'S BEEN PUTTING THE FRIGHTENERS ON FITZROY . $ GO AND GET HIM , BEFORE HE HEARS ON THE GRAPEVINE THAT HE 'S BEEN GRASSED . $ 23 NOW , CHIEF ? $ 04 YES , NOW , MR KING ! $ 23 SARH . $ 04 WHO 'S THE CARRIER FOR GUNSTONE ? $ 05 MOSS SARH . $ 04 CARRY ON MR MANZI . $ 01 WOT 'S IT ALL ABAHT THEN ? $ 05 SAY SIR , WHEN YOU ADDRESS A PRISON OFFICER . $ 01 BOLLOCKS . $ WOT I ARSTCHA IS WOT 'S IT ALL ABAHT . $ 04 THIS IS A SPECIAL TURN OVER , GUNSTONE . $ 01 WOTCHA ON ABAHT ? $ 04 AS IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW . $ 01 YA BLEEDIN' RIGHT I DON'T , GUV . $ 05 SAY SIR , WHEN YOU ADDRESS THE CHIEF OFFICER . $ 01 LISTEN , SON , I 'LL ADDRESS YA WIV A BLEEDIN' RIGHT 'AND ER IF YA DON'T LEAVE ORF 'AVIN' A GOT AT ME . $ 04 SEARCH HIS CELL . $ #75 01 I DON'T KNOW WOT IT 'S ALL ABAHT , MY LIFE I DON'T . $ 04 SHAKE IT OUT . $ 01 YOU GEEZERS AIN'T NEVER 'APPY LESSIN' YA 'AVIN' A GO AT S OMEONE . $ I MEAN TER SAY I DO ME BIRD WIVAHT NO BOVVA AND YA NEVER LEA VE OFT GIVIN' ME AGGRAVATION . $ YOU WON'T FIND NOTHING IN THERE . $ THIS AIN'T MY PILLOW . $ 04 SHAKE IT OUT . $ 01 THIS AIN'T MY PILLOW . $ YOU FUCKING SHAKE IT OUT . $ 04 MR KING YOU SHAKE IT OUT . $ MY , MY , THAT 'S A REGULAR LITTLE GOLD MINE . $ 01 I DON'T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THAT . $ YOU PUT THAT GEAR IN MY PETER DIDN'T YOU ? $ 04 IS THAT SO . $ 01 YES IT BLEEDIN' WELL IS . $ YA BASTARD . $ IT 'S A BLEEDIN' FIT UP IF ANYONE KNOWS 'OW IT GOT THERE IT 'S YOU . $ IT 'S A BLEEDIN' FIT UP . $ I 'LL FUCKING MURDER YOU ... $ 04 GO AND GET THE STRAIT-JACKET SOMEONE . $ 04 MIND HIS FACE ! $ 06 PARADE ATTENTION ! $ ATTENTION , MARCH OFF TO YOUR WORKING PARTIES ! $ I MUST WARN YOU THAT BY DISOBEYING MY ORDER YOU ARE CONTRAVE NING RULE ONE , PARAGRAPH 42 , OF THE STATUTORY RULES . $ 07 P.O. WHAT 'S GOING ON HERE ? $ 06 THE MEN REFUSE TO MOVE , SIR . $ 07 WE SHALL HAVE TO SEE ABOUT THAT , WON'T WE ? $ ALRIGHT , MEN , WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE TROUBLE ? $ NOW LOOK IF THIS IS MEANT TO BE SOME SORT OF A PROTEST AGAIN ST THE SENTENCE PASSED ON GUNSTONE , MAY I REMIND YOU THAT A SHORT WHILE AGO , HE 'D HAVE BEEN TREATED TO NINE STROKES O F THE LASH . $ IN MY HUMBLE OPINION THE SENTENCE OF THE VISITING COMMITTEE OF 5 WEEKS , NUMBER ONE DIET , NINE MONTHS REMISSION , WAS A MODERATE PUNISHMENT FOR ASSAULTING ONE OF MY OFFICERS . $ NOW SOME OF YOU ARE BEING VERY SILLY , AND I HAPPEN TO BE WE LL AWARE WHO THE RING LEADERS ARE . $ IF THERE IS ANY MAN HERE WHO WISHES TO WALK AWAY INDIVIDUALL Y , HE MAY DO SO NOW AND NO DISCIPLINARY ACTION WILL BE TAKE N AGAINST HIM . $ ISN'T THAT SO MR EVANS . $ 04 SARH . $ 07 COME ALONG NOW , I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT EVERY SINGLE ONE O F YOU IS INFLUENCED BY A HANDFUL OF TROUBLE MAKERS ... $ ALRIGHT , MR EVANS , LOCK THOSE TWO UP . $ 04 SARH . $ CARRY ON P.O. $ 07 I WILL DEAL WITH THEM ON ADJUDICATION IN THE MORNING . $ 29 NEXT . $ NOW WHITE , WOULD YOU MIND PUTTING THAT CIGARETTE OUT PLEASE . $ WELL , WHITE YOU WILL BE GOING OUT SOON , TELL ME , HAVE YOU GIVEN ANY THOUGHT TO WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO ? $ 03 WOTCHA MEAN ? $ 29 I MEAN WHAT KIND OF JOB DO YOU HAVE IN MIND ? $ 03 NICKIN' A MILLION QUID OUT OV THE BANK OF ENGLAND ... $ 29 LISTEN , WHITE , BEING IN PRISON IS NOT A JOKE . $ 03 AIN'T IT . $ PERSONALLY I FINK IT 'S A RIGHT GIGGLE . $ 29 LOOK , YOU 'RE ONLY A YOUNG BOY , DO YOU REALLY WANT TO S PEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN AND OUT OF THESE PLACES . $ IT ISN'T TOO LATE FOR YOU TO MAKE A FRESH START , YOU KNOW . $ 03 LISTEN , WEN YA GOTTA COUPLE OF CONS , YE AIN'T GOT NO CH ANCE . $ WEN YA GOT A BIT OF FORM , ALL YA CAN DO IS GET A JOB DIGGIN ' UP THE ROADS OR SUMINK . $ 29 SURELY EVEN THAT WOULD BE BETTER THAN BEING IN HERE ? $ 03 GETTIN' NICKED IS A OCCUPATIONAL 'AZARD , AIN'T IT , I ME AN TER SAY IF A RACIN' DRIVER MAKES A MISTAKE ON A CORNER AN D GETS KILLED , THAT 'S THE RISK HE TAKES , AIN'T IT , SAME FING WIV A PILOT , IF 'E GOES UP ON A FLIGHT AND SUMINK GOES WRONG - BANG - THAT 'S THE END OF 'IM , AIN'T IT , BUT IT D ON'T STOP 'IM FROM DOIN' IT , DO IT ? $ IT 'S THE SAME FING WIV ME , IF I GO OUT ON A JOB AND GETS N ICKED AND WIND UP DOIN' A BIT OF BIRD , IT 'S THE CHANCE I T AKES . $ BUT I DON'T GET KILLED DO I ? $ AS A MATTER OF FACT I FINK I 'VE GOT A PRETTY SAFE JOB , COM E TER FINK ABOUT IT . $ 29 THAT MAY BE THE TEACHING OF TOOLS GUNSTONE , BUT IT IS NO T THE VIEW THAT SOCIETY TAKES . $ 03 WELL THAT 'S BLEEDIN' 'ARD LUCK , AIN'T IT , COZ AS IT 'A PPENS I DON'T GIVE A MONKIES WOT SOCIETY FINKS . $ 29 DON'T YOU HAVE ANY CONSCIENCE ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO YOU ST EAL FROM ? $ 03 WOTCHA ON ABOUT , I STEAL FROM THE INSURANCE COMPANIES , DON'T I ? $ 29 WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT INSURED ? $ 03 WELL , THAT 'S THEIR 'ARD LUCK , AIN'T IT ? $ 29 IF THAT 'S YOUR ATTITUDE , I DON'T HOLD OUT A LOT OF HOPE FOR YOU . $ 03 LISTEN , THE WAY FINGS ARE IN THE WORLD TERDAY , I DON'T RECKON NONE OF US 'AS GOT ALL THAT MUCH CHANCES . $ 29 I SEE YOU 'RE GETTING MARRIED WHEN YOU GET OUT . $ 03 NO . $ MY BIRD GAVE ME THE BELT . $ 29 ALRIGHT WHITE . $ IT IS GETTING CLOSE TO YOUR RELEASE DATE SO I AM GOING TO PU T YOU ON THE PRE-RELEASE COURSE . $ < BLACKOUT > $