<< *134 . DONALD HOWARTH : THREE MONTHS GONE . PLAYS AND PLA
YERS , APRIL 1970 . P. 57 - 77 . FIRST PERF. : 280170 . CHAR
. : 01 ANNA BOWERS , 02 MAURICE BOWERS , 03 ALVIN HANKER , 0
4 MRS HANKER , 05 DOCTOR , 06 MILKMAN >> $
#57 $
01 SILLY WOMAN . $
MUST BE A SPINSTER . $
I 'LL NEVER DO IT . $
HE 'LL GET THERE BEFORE I 'M READY . $
02 HELLO , ANYONE AT HOME ? $
ANNA ? $
01 MAURICE ... $
02 WHAT 'S GOING ON HERE ? $
01 I 'M TRYING TO CLEAN UP . $
02 BEFORE I GET HERE TOMORROW . $
01 YES , YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME MUCH WARNING . $
02 COULDN'T . $
01 YOU SAID YOU 'D BE HERE LATE . $
IF YOU ARE LATE LIKE YOU SAID , EVERYTHING WILL BE DONE . $
02 I 'LL ARRIVE LATE TOMORROW THEN . $
01 YES . $
GO AWAY AND COME BACK ... I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO GET HERE .
 $
WHAT HAVE YOU BROUGHT ME ? $
YOU WON'T BRING SILK . $
I KNOW YOU . $
I SUPPOSE YOU 'LL BE DOCKING JUST ABOUT NOW . $
02 PROBABLY . $
01 SINBAD BOWERS , SHIPWRECKED BY HIS INFAMOUS SISTER , DELI
LAH BOWERS , PHILISTINE . $
02 NOTORIOUS PHILISTINE , OF BYEWAYS , STROGGEN HILL ROAD ,
HOCKTON . $
01 SOUNDS SEXY . $
02 ANYWHERE 'S SEXY IF YOU 'RE RANDY ENOUGH . $
01 ARE YOU ? $
02 NEVER STOP . $
01 FEELING RANDY ? $
02 YES . $
01 ME TOO . $
02 WHY DON'T YOU GET MARRIED ? $
01 IN HOCKTON ? $
02 IT 'S BIGGER THAN DONISTHORPE . $
YOU OUGHT TO HAVE FOUND SOMEONE WHEN YOU MOVED HERE . $
01 THERE 'S NO ONE SUITABLE . $
02 OUT OF ALL HOCKTON AND DONISTHORPE ? $
01 OUT OF ALL DONISTHORPE AND HOCKTON AND DONISTHORPE AND DO
NISTHORPE AND HOCKTON AND HOCKTON - OR HOCKTON EITHER . $
02 HOW ABOUT DONISTHORPE ? $
01 THERE 'S NO ONE I 'D ACCEPT AS YOUR BROTHER - IN - LAW .
$
02 I SEE . $
01 I 'M TOO OLD . $
TOO SELECTIVE AND OLD . $
I 'M ABOVE THE AGE OF CONSENT . $
I COULD BE VIOLATED IF I WAS BELOW IT . $
BUT I 'M NOT . $
I 'M OVERAGED THESE DAYS INSTEAD OF UNDER ... I CAN'T WITH A
 YOUNG PERSON . $
IT 'S HUMILIATING . $
#58 $
02 HAVE YOU TRIED ? $
01 YES . $
02 IN HOCKTON ? $
01 YES . $
IN HOCKTON AND HOCKTON . $
02 I SEE . $
01 I WAS OLDER THAN HIM AND FOOLISH . $
I FELT ODD SOMEHOW . $
OUT OF PLACE , UNNATURAL . $
I SHAN'T MARRY HIM . $
02 WHY ARE YOU SITTING THERE ? $
YOU 'VE SO MUCH TO DO . $
01 I 'M DELILAH . $
02 OF COURSE . $
01 IN THE GOOD OLD TESTAMENT DAYS . $
02 I DON'T MISS THEM . $
01 OH , I DO . $
I MISS SOMETHING . $
I MISS THE SLEEPING TOGETHER OFTEN WITH A SINNER LIKE SAMSON
 . $
I MISS THE SATISFACTION OF BETRAYAL AND THE REMORSE AND THE
BLAME AND THE GUILT AND THE ANGUISH WHEN HE 'S BLIND . $
I MISS HIM . $
I MISS THE SLEEPING TOGETHER OFTEN . $
HE WAS OLDER THAN ME AND STRONG . $
WHAT AM I DOING HERE ? $
THERE 'S SO MUCH TO DO . $
WHO IS IT ? $
03 ME . $
01 ALVIN ? $
03 YES . $
01 COME IN . $
03 THANK YOU . $
01 I 'M VERY BUSY . $
03 I KNOW IT 'S LATE . $
01 I COULDN'T THINK WHO IT WAS . $
03 I WON'T STOP . $
01 I 'LL MAKE SOME COCOA . $
03 YES , PLEASE . $
01 I WAS GOING TO . $
03 I KNEW YOU WERE IN . $
01 THE LIGHT WAS ON . $
03 I KNOCKED A FEW TIMES . $
01 I DIDN'T HEAR . $
03 I DID . $
01 IF YOU SAY SO . $
WHAT DO YOU WANT ? $
03 WHERE WERE YOU ? $
01 I MUST HAVE DOZED OFF . $
03 ALL NIGHT ? $
01 JUST NOW . $
03 WHY DIDN'T YOU COME THEN ? $
01 I SAID . $
I DIDN'T HEAR YOU KNOCKING . $
03 NO , NOT TO THE DOOR . $
WHY DIDN'T YOU MEET ME AT THE CARLTON ? $
01 OH YES . $
I 'M TERRIBLY SORRY . $
03 YOU 'RE NOT SICK ? $
01 NO . $
I WASN'T SICK . $
03 I WAITED . $
01 I 'M TERRIBLY SORRY . $
I WOULD HAVE LET YOU KNOW . $
03 S' ALL RIGHT . $
01 NO , IT 'S AWFUL OF ME . $
03 AS LONG AS YOU WEREN'T SICK . $
01 DID YOU WAIT LONG ? $
03 OVER AN HOUR . $
01 OH DEAR . $
03 AS YOU SAID YOU WOULD AND AS YOU SAID YOU 'D READ THE BOO
K OF IT , I WAS SURE YOU 'D COME EVENTUALLY . $
01 I WOULD HAVE . $
03 WHEN I DID GO IN EVENTUALLY , I KEPT THINKING YOU 'D HAVE
 COME AND BE WAITING FOR ME . $
I WENT OUT ONCE TO LOOK . $
I TOLD THE USHERETTE I WAS GOING OUT TO LOOK SO SHE 'D LET M
E IN AGAIN . $
I MISSED THE NEWS AND THE TRAILERS AND ALL THE SHORT FILM AN
D A QUARTER OF AN HOUR OF THE BIG PICTURE AND AS I HAVEN'T R
EAD THE BOOK LIKE YOU , I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO START
WITH . $
01 I 'M TERRIBLY SORRY . $
03 S' ALL RIGHT . $
01 GET THE BOOK FROM THE LIBRARY , I DID . $
03 YES , I WILL . $
THANK YOU . $
01 IT WASN'T RAINING ANYWAY . $
03 NO . $
01 THAT 'S ONE GOOD THING . $
03 YES . $
ALTHOUGH YOU CAN STAND UNDERNEATH IN FRONT OF THE CARLTON UN
LESS THE QUEUE STICKS OUT AND YOU 'RE LATE FOR IT , BUT I WA
S THERE EARLY SO I GOT A GOOD PLACE WELL UNDER . $
THERE WEREN'T MANY THERE THOUGH . $
HARDLY ANY AS IT SO HAPPENED . $
I COULD HAVE GOT THERE A LOT LATER AND STILL HAD A GOOD PLAC
E WELL UNDER , WAITING FOR YOU . $
01 AS IT WASN'T RAINING , IT WOULDN'T HAVE MATTERED ANYWAY .
 $
03 WHY NOT ? $
01 WELL , YOU WOULDN'T HAVE GOT WET EVEN IF THERE HAD BEEN A
 PATHETIC QUEUE STICKING OUT . $
03 THERE WEREN'T MANY THERE . $
01 I SHOULD HAVE LET YOU KNOW . $
03 S' ALL RIGHT . $
01 DON'T LOOK AT ME . $
I FEEL WORSE . $
03 I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN FEELING VERY WELL , OR
SOMETHING . $
01 YOU SAID . $
03 I CAME TO SEE . $
01 THANK YOU . $
03 WHAT TIME IS IT NOW ? $
01 NEARLY HALF PAST TEN . $
03 IT WAS TEN MINUTES PAST SEVEN WHEN I GOT THERE AND STARTE
D TO WAIT . $
01 SO YOU WENT IN AT EIGHT O' CLOCK ... ? $
03 A QUARTER PAST . $
01 SIT DOWN SOMEWHERE . $
03 YOU 'RE NOT MOVING ? $
01 TIDYING UP . $
WAS IT A GOOD FILM ? $
03 I MISSED THE FIRST PART . $
01 IT DIDN'T SPOIL IT TOO MUCH FOR YOU , THOUGH , DID IT ? $
03 NO . $
01 I CAN USUALLY DO WITHOUT THE FIRST HALF HOUR OF MOST FILM
S . $
I LIKE TO GUESS WHAT 'S GONE BEFORE . $
IT CAN MAKE IT MORE INTERESTING SOMETIMES , IF IT 'S A PARTI
CULARLY BAD FILM . $
03 THIS WAS A GOOD FILM , THOUGH . $
01 I 'M GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT . $
03 IT WAS ALL RIGHT . $
01 ANYWAY YOU LIKED WHAT YOU SAW OF IT . $
03 YES AND YOU 'D HAVE LIKED IT TOO AS YOU 'VE READ THE BOOK
 IT WAS FROM . $
01 IT COULDN'T BE AS GOOD AS THE BOOK . $
03 YOU SHOULD SEE IT . $
01 I 'LL GO ANOTHER NIGHT . $
03 IT 'S NOT ON ANYMORE . $
01 I 'M SORRY I MISSED IT . $
03 IT MIGHT COME AGAIN . $
01 YES , IF IT 'S THAT GOOD . $
03 IT 'S A MUSICAL IN COLOUR TOMORROW FOR SIX DAYS . $
I DIDN'T SEE THE TRAILER THOUGH . $
IF YOU WEREN'T FEELING SICK , WHY DIDN'T YOU COME ? $
01 I HAD A TELEGRAM LATE THIS AFTERNOON . $
03 OH . $
01 FROM MAURICE . $
03 I THOUGHT HE WAS ABROAD ? $
01 HE IS , BUT HE 'S COMING HOME TO SEE ME . $
03 YOU SAID HE SENT A TELEGRAM . $
01 YES , HERE ... $
03 IT 'S FROM OVERSEAS . $
01 A CABLE OF COURSE . $
NO STAMPS FOR YOU THIS TIME . $
03 VIGGO . $
01 VIGO . $
03 VIGO . $
01 A SPANISH PORT . $
03 IS IT ALL RIGHT TO READ IT ? $
01 OF COURSE . $
03 FUNNY , ISN'T IT ? $
01 YES . $
03 I MEAN IT 'S LIKE A CODE MESSAGE FROM A SECRET AGENT . $
01 NOT REALLY . $
#59 $
03 IT IS , THOUGH . $
' PRODIGAL RETURNS ON THE FOURTEENTH SOUTHAMPTON STOP PREPAR
E THE FATTED CALF STOP EXPECT TO EAT IT LATE ON THE FIFTEENT
H STOP . ' $
01 TOMORROW . $
03 FATTED CALF ? $
01 IT 'S MEANT TO BE A SORT OF JOKE WE HAVE . $
03 A JOKE ? $
01 YES . $
A JOKE . $
YOU SAID IT WAS FUNNY . $
03 I DIDN'T MEAN I THOUGHT IT WAS A FUNNY JOKE , THOUGH . $
I MEANT IT 'S FUNNY . $
01 IT 'S BIBLICAL , THAT 'S WHY IT 'S FUNNY . $
03 THE BIBLE 'S NOT FUNNY . $
01 YOU CAN'T HAVE READ IT . $
03 I 'VE HEARD IT AT SCHOOL AND ON THE WIRELESS . $
01 YOU HAVE TO BE RELIGIOUS TO APPRECIATE THE JOKES . $
03 IS YOUR MAURICE RELIGIOUS ? $
01 OH YES , HE 'S A FANATIC . $
03 WHY LIKE ? $
WHAT DOES HE DO ? $
01 SINGS HYMNS AND PRAYS . $
03 I DIDN'T THINK HE WAS THAT SORT AT ALL FROM WHAT YOU SAID
 BEFORE . $
01 WHAT SORT DID YOU THINK HE WAS THEN ? $
03 WELL - I THOUGHT HE WAS ALL RIGHT . $
01 HE IS . $
03 I MEAN NOT RELIGIOUS . $
01 HE 'S DEVOUT . $
HE GOES INTO BROTHELS ALL OVER THE WORLD . $
THAT 'S HIS RELIGION . $
03 BROTHELS IS ? $
01 TEMPLES OF DELIGHT . $
HE 'S A NON-CONFORMIST BODY WORSHIPPER . $
03 HE SHOUNDS ALL RIGHT . $
I WISH I COULD BE RELIGIOUS LIKE THAT . $
01 YOU HAVE TO BE DEDICATED . $
IT 'S A VOCATION . $
TALK TO HIM NICELY AND HE MIGHT CONVERT YOU . $
03 I 'D BE NO USE . $
YOU HAVE TO BE GOOD - LOOKING . $
01 YOU 'RE NOT BAD LOOKING . $
03 IS HE VERY ... ? $
01 YES , VERY . $
AND SUNBURNT . $
BROWN ALL OVER . $
A TERRA COTTA COLOUR . $
03 THAT 'S BECAUSE HE 'S OUTDOORS SO MUCH AT SEA IN HOT CLIM
ATES . $
01 HIS HAIR 'S THICK AND BLACK . $
HE 'S STRONG . $
HE 'S TATTOOED . $
HE 'S NICE . $
YOU 'LL LIKE HIM . $
03 HE WON'T LIKE ME , THOUGH . $
01 OF COURSE HE WILL . $
HE TAKES A LOT OF TROUBLE PUTTING DIFFERENT STAMPS ON HIS EN
VELOPES JUST TO PLEASE YOU . $
03 BECAUSE YOU ASKED HIM TO . $
01 HE 'LL LIKE YOU . $
03 HOW LONG WILL HE STAY FOR ? $
01 THE WEEKEND I EXPECT . $
03 PERHAPS HE 'LL WANT TO SEE THE MUSICAL ON SATURDAY NIGHT
. $
01 HE WON'T WANT TO GO TO THE PICTURES . $
I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM FOR SEVEN YEARS . $
03 NO . $
01 WILL YOU BE GOING ? $
03 I LIKE TO SEE THE TRAILER BEFORE I DECIDE . $
01 AS YOU MISSED IT , YOU 'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO MAKE UP YOUR
MIND . $
03 YES , I WILL . $
I 'VE READ ABOUT IT . $
01 MUSICALS ARE ALL THE SAME . $
03 I 'D LIKE TO SEE IT BUT I DON'T LIKE TO SEE THEM ON MY OW
N - MUSICALS . $
01 TAKE YOUR MOTHER . $
03 I COULD DO , YES . $
WE COULD ALL GO WITH YOUR BROTHER . $
TAKE HIM LIKE AS IT 'S SATURDAY . $
I COULD PAY FOR ALL OF US . $
01 NO . $
ALVIN . $
YOU COULDN'T PAY FOR US . $
WE CAN'T GO . $
03 I DON'T EXPECT I SHALL SEE HIM THEN IF HE 'S ONLY HERE FO
R THE WEEKEND . $
01 WHY NOT ? $
YOU CAN CALL . $
COME ON SUNDAY FOR LUNCH . $
03 THANK YOU . $
01 I MUST BUY SOME BEER . $
HE LIKES A DRINK . $
03 WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME IN YOUR LETTERS ? $
01 JUST THAT WE WERE FRIENDS . $
03 DID YOU TELL HIM WE 'D SLEPT TOGETHER ? $
01 NO . $
03 WHY NOT ? $
01 IT WOULDN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO HIM . $
03 WILL YOU TELL HIM ? $
01 WHY SHOULD I ? $
03 I THOUGHT YOU 'D BE GLAD TO TELL HIM AS HE GOES IN FOR BO
DY WORSHIP AND THAT . $
01 YOU 'RE NOT SUGGESTING YOU 'RE IN THE SAME CATEGORY . $
03 NO . $
01 OUR LITTLE NIGHT TOGETHER WAS JUST EMBARRASSING . $
03 I 'D NEVER DONE IT BEFORE . $
01 I 'M SURPRISED YOU WANT ME TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT . $
ESPECIALLY MAURICE . $
I 'D HAVE THOUGHT YOU 'D BE RATHER ASHAMED TO HAVE HIM KNOW
. $
03 I LIKED IT . $
01 I KNOW YOU DID . $
03 I COULD GET BETTER AT IT IF YOU 'D LET ME TRY MORE OFTEN
. $
01 I CAN'T . $
I CAN'T . $
I REALLY CAN'T . $
03 WHY ? $
01 YOU 'RE NOT MATURE . $
03 I KNOW I 'M NOT VERY BIG PHYSICALLY . $
I 'M NOT STRONG LIKE MAURICE IS BUT MAYBE I COULD GROW BIGGE
R PERHAPS . $
01 YOU 'D STILL BE ALVIN . $
03 DON'T YOU LIKE ME AT ALL ? $
01 I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT . $
IF YOU DO , DRINK YOUR COCOA AND GO HOME . $
01 WHAT 'S THE MATTER WITH IT ? $
03 NOTHING . $
BUT IT 'S JUST THAT IF I DRINK YOU 'LL THINK I WANT TO GO HO
ME AS WELL AS THAT I WANT TO GO ON TALKING ABOUT IT - YOU ,
I MEAN YOU - AND I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME YET IF I DON'T DRIN
K THEN YOU COULD THINK I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOU , ALTH
OUGH I DO . $
01 YOU 'RE FULL OF PROBLEMS , AREN'T YOU . $
03 I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK THE WRONG THING . $
01 THAT 'S VERY CONSIDERATE . $
03 IT 'S NOT . $
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL HIM . $
01 ALVIN . $
I 'M VERY TOUCHED . $
DON'T BE UNHAPPY . $
03 HAVE YOU GOT A PHOTO OF HIM ? $
01 SOMEWHERE . $
03 SHOW US . $
01 THERE IS AN ALBUM SOME PLACE . $
03 WHERE ? $
01 IN THAT CUPBOARD . $
03 I LIKE SNAP ALBUMS . $
01 GET IT THEN . $
03 I 'D HAVE THOUGHT YOU 'D HAVE KEPT LOTS OF PICTURES OF HI
M ALL OVER THE HOUSE IN EACH ROOM AND ON THE WALLS TOO . $
01 FATHER DIDN'T GET ON WITH HIM . $
HAVING HIS PICTURES ON SHOW WOULD HAVE AGGRAVATED HIM . $
HE THREATENED TO BURN THEM ONCE . $
03 I WISH I WERE HIM . $
01 WHATEVER FOR ? $
03 YOU NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM . $
01 NEITHER DO YOU . $
THERE . $
03 THAT 'S YOU WITH HIM TOO , IN SHORTS . $
01 PLAYING TENNIS IN LOW MOOR PARK . $
03 YOUR HAIR 'S CHANGED . $
01 YOU 'RE SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING AT MAURICE . $
03 I WISH I 'D KNOWN YOU THEN . $
01 YOU WERE A CHILD . $
03 I CAN'T PLAY TENNIS . $
01 HE ALWAYS WON . $
03 I 'VE PLAYED TABLE TENNIS . $
01 HE MADE ME RUN ALL OVER THE COURT . $
03 HE LOOKS A GOOD PLAYER . $
BRIDLINGTON . $
01 WE RAN ON THE BEACH AT SCARBOROUGH . $
03 ' FLAMBOROUGH HEAD SWIMMING . ' $
01 SPLASHING ALL THE WAY AND COLD , BUT LAUGHING . $
PEBBLES AND THE HURRY OF THE OCEAN . $
POOLS , CRABS , WARM SEA - WEED AND SHELLS ... $
NEVER AGAIN ... $
03 HE LOOKS A GOOD SWIMMER . $
01 YES . $
THAT 'S ALVIN . $
02 HELLO . $
03 HELLO . $
01 HE 'S LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING YOU . $
#60 $
03 IT 'S HARD TO TELL WHAT HE 'S LIKE FROM THESE SNAPS . $
01 HE WON'T HAVE ALTERED . $
03 HE 'S A BIT LIKE I THOUGHT HE 'D BE FROM WHAT YOU SAID .
$
01 I 'M SORRY YOUR FIRST MEETING HAS TO BE SO INFORMAL . $
I 'D RATHER HAVE INTRODUCED YOU FULLY CLOTHED . $
I DON'T LIKE OTHER PEOPLE POKING THEIR EYES INTO YOUR FLESH
. $
03 LIAR . $
01 ALVIN ! $
03 THERE 'S NOTHING YOU LIKE BETTER THAN SHOWING HIM OFF . $
YOU SWANK WITH HIM TO MAKE ME FEEL INFERIOR ... $
01 DON'T STAND UP WHEN YOU SPEAK TO ME . $
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM MAURICE , HE 'S THE TRUE LIAR , LYING BE
CAUSE HE FEELS INFERIOR TO ME IN YOUR PRESENCE . $
SIT DOWN . $
I CAN'T STAND LIES . $
I SHOULDN'T HAVE INTRODUCED YOU . $
02 WE OUGHT TO SHAKE HANDS . $
03 HOW DO YOU DO . $
01 I SHOULD HAVE KEPT HIM OUT OF MY LETTERS . $
03 I SUPPOSE YOU LEFT YOUR CLOTHES ON THE BEACH . $
02 MY HAND 'S BIGGER THAN YOURS . $
03 AM I LIKE YOU THOUGHT I 'D BE FROM WHAT SHE SAID IN HER L
ETTERS ? $
01 HE 'S A STAMP COLLECTOR , STANDING OVER A HOT KETTLE STEA
MING THEM OFF , SCALDING YOUR FINGERS WITH CARE , LICKING HI
NGES , FIXING THEM INTO A SEVEN AND SIXPENNY BOOK . $
HE 'S HUMOURLESS TOO . $
HE COULD DO WITH A FEW YEARS AT SEA , TOUGHEN HIM UP . $
STRENGTHEN HIS WEAKNESS . $
MAKE HIM LIKE YOU . $
A MAN OF THE WORLD . $
03 I 'LL GO IF YOU LIKE . $
01 I WISH YOU WOULD . $
SHOVE OFF WHILE THE TIDE 'S IN ELSE YOU 'LL BE HERE ALL NIGH
T . $
02 HOW DO YOU GET ON WITH HER ? $
03 NOT BAD . $
WE SLEPT IN THE SAME BED ONCE ... $
01 DON'T TELL HIM THAT . $
03 SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME MUCH . $
02 WHY DON'T YOU LIKE HIM ? $
01 I LIKE HIM . $
02 SHE SAYS SHE LIKES YOU . $
03 NOT AS MUCH AS I LIKE HER THOUGH . $
I WISH SHE LIKED ME AS MUCH AS SHE LIKES YOU . $
02 YOU CAN'T EXPECT THAT . $
SHE 'S MY SISTER . $
03 WOULD YOU SHOW ME HOW YOU KISS HER PLEASE SO I CAN WATCH
AND TRY AND MAKE HER LIKE ME MORE . $
PEOPLE CAN SEE IN . $
01 YOU 'LL HAVE TO GO , ALVIN . $
THERE 'S SO MUCH TO DO . $
I 'LL BE UP ALL NIGHT GETTING THINGS READY . $
03 YOU 'VE GOT ALL DAY TOMORROW . $
01 I HAVE TO GO SHOPPING . $
03 I COULD HELP YOU . $
01 I HAVE TO SHOP ALONE . $
03 I MEANT NOW I COULD HELP . $
01 OH ... $
03 LET ME . $
01 YOU COULD STACK THE THINGS FROM THE HALL IN THE SMALL ROO
M ... $
03 YES , ALL RIGHT . $
01 AND THE BULB 'S GONE TOO . $
03 YES . $
01 YOU 'LL NEED THE LADDER . $
03 WHAT SHALL I DO FIRST ? $
01 FIX THE CURTAINS . $
PEOPLE CAN SEE IN . $
I 'LL GIVE YOU A HAND . $
03 THANK YOU . $
01 THE HOOKS ARE ON . $
I 'LL HOLD THE LADDER STEADY . $
03 NO NEED . $
IF WE FINISH BEFORE TWELVE O'CLOCK , CAN I STAY TILL ONE ? $
01 HAVE YOU GOT PERMISSION TO STAY OUT LATE ? $
03 I DON'T NEED TO . $
01 I HAD TO AT YOUR AGE . $
03 CAN I PUT YOU TO BED ? $
01 I 'M TOO OLD FOR THAT . $
03 I DON'T CARE . $
I LIKE YOU . $
01 I CAN'T . $
03 LET ME TRY AGAIN , PLEASE . $
01 IT 'S NOT YOUR FAULT . $
I 'M NO GOOD AT IT EITHER . $
WE JUST DON'T WORK TOGETHER . $
03 WE 'RE WORKING TOGETHER NOW . $
01 THAT 'S NOT WHAT I MEANT . $
03 I WAS JOKING . $
01 THEY 'RE A LOT BRIGHTER THAN THE OTHER CURTAINS . $
03 I 'M SURE WE COULD WORK TOGETHER IF I TRIED HARDER . $
01 IT ISN'T SOMETHING THAT IMPROVES WITH EFFORT . $
03 WHAT IS IT THEN ? $
01 WHAT 'S WHAT ? $
03 I DON'T KNOW . $
01 THERE 'D BE NO POINT . $
03 IF I PRACTISED ON SOMEONE ELSE FOR A BIT WOULD YOU LET ME
 TRY AGAIN THEN ? $
01 WHO ELSE ? $
03 WELL , THERE 'S A GIRL ON THE CASH REGISTER IN THE SUPERM
ARKET WHO SOMETIMES COMES INTO THE SHOP TO BUY GOLD FISH FOO
D . $
I DON'T THINK SHE 'S GOT ANY GOLD FISH BECAUSE HER MOTHER'S
GOT A CAT . $
SHE JUST COMES IN TO SEE ME . $
SHE ASKS ME ABOUT GOLD FISH JUST TO TALK . $
ANYWAY , SHE WANTS ME TO GO OUT WITH HER . $
SHE 'S BEEN TO CALCUTTA STREET ONCE . $
MY MOTHER LIKES HER . $
01 GOOD . $
03 I DON'T THOUGH . $
01 WHAT 'S WRONG WITH HER ? $
03 SHE 'S TOO YOUNG . $
SHE 'S NOT LIKE YOU  . $
BUT I COULD TRY WITH HER AND GET BETTER . $
I 'M SURE SHE 'D AGREE TO . $
01 YOU MEAN YOU 'D TELL HER YOU WERE PRACTISING ? $
03 I COULD , COULDN'T I . $
01 YOU COULD . $
SHE MIGHT LIKE THE IDEA . $
IT 'S NOT USUAL THOUGH , IS IT ? $
SOUNDS A BIT FUNCTIONAL . $
AND SHE 'D BE BOUND TO ASK WHO YOU WERE IN TRAINING FOR . $
03 THAT 'S NO GOOD THEN IS IT . $
01 LOOK ... $
WHY DON'T YOU GO WITH HER - WHAT 'S HER NAME ? $
03 MAUREEN WILCOCK . $
01 WHY DON'T YOU GO WITH MISS WILCOCK FOR A BIT , TRY TO LIK
E HER AND DON'T THINK ABOUT ME LIKE THAT AT ALL ANY MORE AND
 I BET YOU IN NO TIME YOU 'LL BE GETTING ON LIKE HOUSES ON F
IRE TOGETHER . $
YOU 'LL STOP WANTING TO KEEP SEEING ME AND FEELING BAD BECAU
SE I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU ... $
03 YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO ? $
01 I REALLY DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT . $
THE STUFF TO GO IN THE SMALL ROOM 'S IN THE HALL . $
03 I 'VE NEARLY DONE . $
01 THEY DO LOOK BETTER . $
03 IT 'S DIRTY . $
01 NOBODY SEES . $
03 I 'LL PAINT IT FOR YOU IF YOU LIKE . $
01 NOT NOW . $
03 I MEANT IN THE NEAR FUTURE SOMETIME . $
01 YES . $
ALL RIGHT . $
SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE . $
03 ALL THE WOODWORK . $
A NICE COLOUR . $
BLUE . $
OR A NICE GREEN PERHAPS . $
01 I DON'T LIKE GAUDY COLOURS . $
03 A NICE GREEN 'S NOT GAUDY . $
01 SUPPOSE NOT . $
03 NOR 'S A NICE BLUE . $
01 YOUR IDEAS OF NICE AREN'T AS NICE AS MINE . $
03 YOU 'D CHOOSE THE COLOUR ANYWAY . $
I WOULDN'T WANT TO . $
I JUST SAID I 'D PAINT IT . $
I DON'T CARE WHAT COLOUR IT IS . $
IT COULD BE THE SAME AS IT IS NOW . $
I WAS JUST SUGGESTING . $
I PAINTED A BUFFET BLUE IN MY ROOM AT HOME . $
I THINK IT LOOKS QUITE NICE . $
I THINK YOU 'D LIKE IT . $
I 'VE GOT A SMALL QUANTITY OF PAINT LEFT IN THE TIN STILL .
$
I 'LL BRING IT UP AND SHOW YOU . $
COAT DAZZER IT 'S CALLED . $
COAT DAZZER GLOSS . $
THERE WON'T BE ANYTHING LIKE ENOUGH TO DO IN HERE THOUGH OF
COURSE . $
IT 'S A SMALL TIN I GOT TO START WITH , JUST FOR THE BUFFET
. $
#61 $
HAVE YOU GOT ANY PAINT BRUSHES ... ? $
01 SOMEWHERE . $
WHY AM I SITTING HERE ? $
THERE 'S SO MUCH TO DO . $
I WISH HE 'D GO HOME . $
04 IS OUR ALVIN HERE ? $
01 MRS. HANKER ! $
04 IS HE HERE - OUR ALVIN ? $
01 NO . $
04 YOU 'RE NOT LYING ARE YOU ... ? $
01 HE 'S NOT HERE . $
04 HE WENT OUT WITH YOU TONIGHT . $
01 I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM . $
04 HE WENT TO THE PICTURES . $
01 NOT WITH ME . $
04 HE SAID HE WAS . $
01 I DIDN'T GO . $
04 WELL , HE 'S NOT IN OUR HOUSE . $
01 HE MIGHT BE WHEN YOU GET BACK . $
04 IF I GO . $
01 YOU CAN'T STAY HERE . $
04 STALEMATE THEN ISN'T IT . $
01 I 'M SO SORRY I CAN'T HELP YOU . $
04 LIAR . $
01 SOME LIES ARE JUSTIFIED IN THE NAME OF GOOD MANNERS AND E
XPEDIENCY . $
04 WELL THEY DON'T CUT ANY SUGAR ICING WITH IVY HANKER , SWE
ETHEART . $
YOU 'RE NEITHER SORRY YOU CAN'T HELP NOR POLITELY JUSTIFIED
AND DON'T IMAGINE YOU 'RE ANY BETTER THAN YOU SHOULD BE JUST
 BECAUSE YOU WON'T CO-OPERATE . $
A LIE 'S A LIE AND A LIAR A LIAR EXPEDIENT OR OTHERWISE . $
03 IT 'S SIXTY WATTS . $
01 KITCHEN CUPBOARD . $
04 THERE 'S SOME MUCK ABOUT HERE BY GOD . $
HASN'T BEEN TOUCHED FOR A MONTH OF SUNDAYS NOR MONDAYS EITHE
R I BET . $
01 WHAT DOES YOUR SON LOOK LIKE ? $
04 GUILTY IF I 'VE HAD 'OWT TO DO WITH IT . $
01 VERY WELL . $
IF I SHOULD SEE HIM ABOUT IN THE NEXT HOUR OR SO ... $
04 DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM . $
01 I 'LL DO MY BEST ... $
04 I 'M SURE YOU WILL - $
01 TO DETER HIM . $
04 IS YOUR BEST GOOD ENOUGH ? $
01 ENOUGH FOR ALVIN . $
04 ONE THING IS ALL HE 'S AFTER . $
01 THANK YOU FOR YOUR CAUTIONARY ADVICE . $
04 THINK ON WHAT I 'VE SAID . $
01 WITH ALL THE POWER AT MY DISPOSAL . $
04 WITH ALL THE POWER AT YOUR ELBOW . $
01 I DON'T HAVE UNLIMITED POWERS . $
I CAN GO SO FAR AND NO FURTHER . $
04 YOU CAN MUSTER UP ENOUGH TO THROW HIM OUT . $
01 I 'LL SUMMON WHAT I CAN . $
03 I 'LL PUT IT IN . $
01 THANK YOU . $
04 YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE HE COULD HAVE GOT TO , DO YOU ? $
01 NO . $
04 I WORRY ABOUT HIM . $
01 YOU SHOULD GO TO THE POLICE STATION . $
04 WHY FOR ? $
01 HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN KNOCKED DOWN AND TAKEN TO HOSPITAL . $
04 OH GOD ! $
DON'T SAY THAT . $
01 YOU 'D BETTER HURRY . $
04 OUR ALVIN INVOLVED IN A FATAL ACCIDENT FROM WHICH HE HAS
SINCE DIED . $
01 ANY WITNESS WHO CAN GIVE ANY INFORMATION PLEASE CONTACT T
HE POLICE . $
04 NO . $
I CAN'T SEE HIM MIXED UP IN ANYTHING LIKE THAT . $
HE HASN'T GOT IT IN HIM . $
01 I 'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU WORRY ABOUT HIM . $
04 YOU 'RE ALWAYS EITHER GLAD OR SORRY ABOUT SOMETHING AREN'
T YOU ? $
01 I WAS BROUGHT UP TO CONCERN MYSELF WITH OTHER PEOPLES' EM
OTIONAL DISTRESS . $
04 WELL CONCERN YOURSELF WITH THIS THEN BEFORE YOU GO ANY FU
RTHER . $
I DON'T WORRY ABOUT OUR ALVIN SUFFERING INJURIES ON THE ROAD
 . $
THAT 'S NOT WHAT FRETS ME , CLEVER MISS . $
01 THEN I 'M SO SORRY I WAS SO GLAD TO SEE YOU WORRY ABOUT H
IM . $
04 YOU NEEDN'T TAKE IT BACK . $
IT CAN STILL DO WITH YOUR CONCERN FOR MY EMOTIONAL DISTRESS
, NOT SO MUCH FOR CARS KNOCKING HIM DOWN AS HIM KNOCKING IT
OFF . $
HIM COMING UP HERE AND MESSING AROUND WITH YOU , THAT 'S THE
 SEAT OF MY DISTRESS . $
01 ANYTHING I CAN DO TO ALLEVIATE ... $
04 YOU 'LL LEAVE HIM ALONE . $
I WON'T HAVE IT . $
YOU 'RE OLD ENOUGH TO BE HIS MOTHER AND THAT 'S MY LOOK OUT
NOT YOURS . $
OH - AND PLEASE DON'T THINK I 'M A PROHIBITIVE PARENT . $
I DON'T CLAMP DOWN ON HIM - $
03 SHE 'S ALWAYS CLAMPING ME . $
01 I DON'T CARE WHO HE SLEEPS WITH OR HOW OFTEN SO LONG AS I
T 'S SENSUAL AND LECHEROUS WITH A BIT OF LOVE FEELING ON THE
 SIDE TO MAKE HIM THINK IT AND LIFE HAS A MEANING , BUT HE '
S DAFT IF HE THINKS HE 'LL GET ANY BLISS DOWN YOUR WAY . $
CHICKEN BONE AND GRISTLE STEW'LD MAKE A BETTER MEAL . $
03 I 'VE DONE THE LIGHT . $
01 MRS. HANKER . $
04 YES , LOVE ? $
01 I 'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU AND YOUR SON . $
04 YOU HAVE HAD HIM THEN ... ? $
01 ONCE . $
04 YOU CAN OWN UP TO YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS I SEE . $
I SEE YOU ARE PRINCIPLED IN THAT DIRECTION . $
01 I NEVER BAULKED AT FACTS . $
04 NO , YOU DON'T LOOK A BAULKER . $
I 'LL GIVE YOU THAT . $
AND ANYONE WHO DIDN'T BAULK AT ALVIN 'LD BAULK AT NOTHING .
ONCE YOU SAY . $
01 THAT 'S CORRECT . $
04 AND ONCE WAS ENOUGH ? $
01 NO , QUITE INADEQUATE . $
04 ABOUT TEN WEEKS AGO , RIGHT ? $
01 TWELVE . $
04 A MOTHERS' INTUITION . $
I DIDN'T NEED YOU TO LET ME IN ON IT . $
MY ALVIN DOESN'T SLIP PAST HIS MOTHER WITHOUT HER KNOWING HE
 'S HAD IT AND STILL GOES ON WANTING IT . $
01 I SHALL OPEN THE FRONT DOOR AND CLOSE IT IN YOUR FACE . $
04 YOU MIGHT WANT TO BUT YOU WON'T . $
I 'M WAITING HERE TILL HE COMES . $
03 I 'M MOVING THE STUFF IN THE HALL NOW . $
04 I KNOW HE 'LL BE HERE SOMEWHERE , HE 'S ON HIS WAY . $
01 LEAVE THIS HOUSE . $
04 NOT WITHOUT OUR ALVIN . $
01 YOU 'RE TRESPASSING . $
04 YOU 'RE POACHING . $
01 YOU 'RE COMMON . $
04 YOU 'RE GENTEEL . $
01 COALMAN'S WIFE . $
04 VICAR'S DAUGHTER . $
01 PISS OFF ! $
04 RIGHT ... $
01 HELP . $
03 LEAVE MISS BOWERS ALONE . $
04 YOU 'RE THE ONE WHO SHOULD DO THAT . $
03 LAY OFF HER . $
04 AND THAT . $
03 LET GO . $
04 DON'T BRUISE YOUR MOTHER . $
03 NOW STAND OVER THERE . $
04 I 'M ON YOUR SIDE . $
03 ANNA , COME HERE . $
01 MAKE HER GO , ALVIN . $
03 YOU CALM DOWN . $
I 'LL SEE TO HER . $
#62 $
04 YOU 'LL HAVE A JOB ON , TURFING YOUR MOTHER OUT OF A STRA
NGE HOUSE INTO THE SMALL HOURS OF THE MORNING . $
IT WON'T SOUND VERY MUCH IN YOUR FAVOUR IN FRONT OF THE MAGI
STRATE . $
03 RETURN TO CALCUTTA STREET . $
04 IT 'S RUDE TO POINT . $
I NEVER TAUGHT HIM THAT . $
03 I 'M MAKING YOU GO . $
04 I SEE NO SIGNS OF IT . $
03 BE OFF . $
04 I 'M STILL HERE . $
03 YOU 'RE PROVOKING ME TO USE FORCE . $
04 IT 'S MY GOAT YOU 'RE GETTING . $
01 BE CAREFUL ALVIN . $
03 I 'LL BE ALL RIGHT . $
01 DON'T MAKE TOO MUCH NOISE . $
03 I 'LL GAG HER FIRST . $
01 USE THIS DUSTER . $
03 I 'LL PUT MY HANDS ROUND HER THROAT . $
04 PUT YOUR COAT ON AND GET YOURSELF DOWN STROGGEN HILL ROAD
 , SHARP . $
01 GET RID OF HER FOR ME . $
04 YOU 'RE NOT STAYING HERE . $
03 MOTHER ... $
04 WHAT ? $
03 WILL YOU GO ? $
04 NO . $
03 PLEASE . $
04 I HAVE A SACRED DUTY AS YOUR MOTHER TO SEE YOU DON'T GET
INTO TROUBLE WITHOUT ME AND YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN BY TROUBLE
. $
YOU DON'T WANT TO BE CORNERED LIKE I WAS FOR THE REST OF YOU
R LIFE JUST BECAUSE OF A SLIP OF THE TONGUE ONE NIGHT AS YOU
 MIGHT SAY . $
03 I 'M OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS . $
04 A SLIP OF THE TONGUE 'S NOT A DECISION . $
03 I 'M OLD ENOUGH . $
04 I KNOW YOU 'RE OLD ENOUGH LOVE , BUT SHE 'S OLD ENOUGH TO
 BE YOUR MOTHER AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO WITH HER . $
I WOULDN'T EXPECT IT OF YOU MYSELF AND I 'M NOT ONLY OLD ENO
UGH TO BE I AM YOUR MOTHER . $
AS SUCH I WANT A NICE YOUNG GIRL FOR YOU LIKE MAUREEN AT THE
 SUPERMARKET - WHO COULD WANT FAIRER THAN THAT ? $
03 SHE 'S GOT BROWN HAIR . $
04 WHY ARE YOU TAKING YOUR PULLOVER OFF FOR ? $
03 I 'M TRYING TO GO TO BED WITH MISS BOWERS . $
04 IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER ? $
03 WATCH IF YOU LIKE . $
WHAT YOU DOING ? $
04 SITTING DOWN . $
03 WHAT FOR ? $
04 WE 'RE NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN . $
I 'M NOT PROUD . $
COME ON . $
GET ON WITH IT . $
03 DON'T SIT THERE . $
04 WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE ME ? $
03 AW MOTHER , GO HOME PLEASE . $
04 I 'VE GOT NOTHING MORE TO SAY . $
YOU 'VE GOT A COLD COMING ON . $
I SEE YOU 'VE BEEN DOING A BIT OF SPRING CLEANING . $
THAT 'S MORE THAN I CAN GET YOU TO DO AT HOME . $
NOT A BAD LITTLE BUNGALOW , IS IT ? $
01 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ? $
03 I GOT SOME DUST IN MY - $
04 HAVE A GLASS OF WATER BACKWARDS . $
01 THAT 'S FOR HICCOUGHS . $
04 I 'M NOT SITTING HERE IN A DRAUGHT . $
I 'M OFF . $
I 'LL LEAVE A CUP OF BOVRIL ON THE GRATE TELL HIM . $
SEE HE 'S NOT TOO LATE . $
03 IT 'S COLD OUT . $
01 THERE 'S A FROST COMING DOWN FROM THE NORTH . $
03 IT 'S EARLY FOR FROST . $
01 PUT THIS ON IF YOU 'RE COLD . $
03 WHOSE IS IT ? $
01 YOURS IF YOU WANT IT . $
03 REALLY . $
01 IT 'S HAD THE MOTH IN IT . $
03 IT 'S LIKE ESKIMOS HAVE . $
01 YOU CAN DARN IT . $
03 REINDEER . $
01 STAGS . $
03 IT 'S A BIT BIG FOR ME . $
01 YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE IT . $
03 I LIKE IT . $
THANK YOU VERY MUCH . $
01 IT LOOKS GOOD ON YOU . $
03 MAKES ME LOOK WIDER . $
01 YES , IT DOES . $
YOU COULD BE MAURICE . $
03 YEAH ... ? $
01 FROM THE BACK . $
ALVIN , I 'VE HAD ENOUGH FOR TODAY . $
03 OH . $
01 I 'VE HAD A LONG DAY AND TOMORROW WILL BE BUSY . $
03 IT 'S THE WEEKEND . $
01 YES . $
03 ARE YOU GOING TO MEET THE TRAIN ? $
01 HE DOESN'T STATE ANY TIME IN THE CABLE , JUST ' LATE ' .
$
03 THERE WON'T BE MANY TRAINS . $
01 HE MIGHT COME ON THE BUS FROM BERESFORD IF THERE 'S A WAI
T FOR A CONNECTION OR EVEN A TAXI . $
03 HAS HE BEEN BEFORE ? $
01 NO . $
03 HE 'LL NEVER FIND IT . $
01 HE 'S NOT A CHILD - HE 'S BEEN ALL OVER THE WORLD . $
03 YES . $
01 I 'D BE SURE TO MISS HIM . $
IT 'S SAFER TO WAIT HERE . $
ANYWAY I WON'T HAVE TIME IF I 'M TO PREPARE A FATTED CALF AN
D GET THE HOUSE READY . $
HE 'LL BE VERY HUNGRY . $
03 YES . $
WELL , IF YOU WANT TO GO TO BED , I 'D BETTER GO . $
01 THANK YOU FOR HELPING . $
03 S' ALL RIGHT . $
01 YOUR JACKET . $
03 I HATE GOING BACK HOME . $
01 YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME , THEN YOU WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO .
 $
03 IF YOU 'D LET ME STAY OVER I 'D BE HERE FIRST THING IN TH
E MORNING AND I COULD GO ON HELPING YOU GET READY . $
I COULD GO TO THE SHOPS WITH YOU AND CARRY YOUR THINGS . $
01 NO ALVIN . $
03 I COULD STAY IN IN CASE HE GOT HERE EARLY . $
01 HE WON'T BE . $
03 DON'T SEND ME AWAY . $
01 I SHOULDN'T HAVE LET YOU COME IN AT THIS HOUR . $
03 PLEASE . $
01 YOU ONLY WANT TO STAY SO THAT YOU CAN SHOW OFF TO YOUR MO
THER , MAKING HER THINK YOU 'RE A GREAT LOVER STAYING OUT AL
L NIGHT . $
03 I DON'T , I DON'T AT ALL . $
IN FACT IF I COULD STOP HER KNOWING I WOULD . $
SHE 'LL ASK ME ALL SORTS OF QUESTIONS AND PARTICULARS , WHER
E I WAS AND WHAT I DID AND WHO WITH , SHE 'LL PUMP ME AND I
DON'T LIKE TO ANSWER . $
01 ALL GOOD REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD GO HOME NOW THEN , AREN'T
 THEY . $
THE EARLIER YOU GET IN THE LESS OF A STORY YOU 'LL HAVE TO M
AKE UP . $
03 I SHAN'T LIE . $
I 'D TELL HER I 'D BEEN HERE WITH YOU . $
01 JUST TO ANNOY HER . $
I KNOW SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME . $
03 YOU 'VE ONLY MET HER ONCE . $
01 SHE DOESN'T APPROVE OF ME . $
03 SHE DOESN'T KNOW YOU LIKE I DO THAT 'S WHY THAT 'S ALL .
$
01 I KNEW SHE DIDN'T LIKE ME . $
03 SHE DOES LIKE YOU . $
01 I DON'T LIKE HER . $
03 IF YOU 'D COME FOR TEA OR JUST CALL BACK SOMETIMES FROM T
HE PICTURES , SHE 'D GET TO LIKE YOU . $
01 I DON'T WANT HER TO . $
CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND ? $
I DON'T WANT HER TO LIKE ME . $
WHY SHOULD I . $
I DON'T WANT YOU TO LIKE ME EITHER . $
I 'M ALL RIGHT , THANK YOU . $
LEAVE ME ALONE . $
GO HOME . $
03 TA-RA THEN . $
01 GOOD NIGHT . $
#63 $
03 I 'LL SEE YOU . $
01 SUNDAY LUNCH TIME . $
03 GOOD NIGHT . $
01 GOOD NIGHT . $
MAURICE ... ? $
MAURICE . $
03 IT 'S ME . $
ALVIN . $
01 AARH ! $
03 IT 'S ONLY ME . $
I DIDN'T WANT TO GO . $
I DIDN'T WANT TO FRIGHTEN YOU . $
DON'T MAKE A NOISE . $
I DIDN'T HURT YOU DID I ? $
I WOULDN'T EVER HURT YOU . $
DID I HURT YOU ? $
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ? $
WHAT 'S THE MATTER ? $
YOU 'RE ALL RIGHT . $
I THOUGHT IF I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING , IF I DIDN'T TALK , IF I
 ONLY KISSED YOU MIGHT NOT SEND ME AWAY . $
I ONLY KISSED YOU . $
I ONLY HELD YOU . $
I 'M SORRY . $
I KNOW I DON'T SAY ANYTHING RIGHT BUT I THOUGHT IF I ONLY KI
SSED YOU WOULDN'T MIND ME SO MUCH , YOU MIGHT LIKE IT MORE I
F I HELD YOU . $
I WANT TO ALL THE TIME . $
DON'T LAUGH AT ME . $
I 'M GLAD YOU 'RE LAUGHING . $
I WISH YOU WOULDN'T . $
CAN I STAY PLEASE ? $
01 YOU DON'T HAVE TO CRY . $
03 I DON'T WANT TO . $
01 WHY ARE YOU ? $
03 I DON'T KNOW . $
01 IT 'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME . $
IT 'S ALL IN YOU . $
03 I KNOW . $
01 YOU 'VE MADE IT ALL UP . $
03 YES . $
01 YOU MUST WANT TO CARRY ON . $
03 I DON'T . $
01 I CAN'T HELP YOU . $
03 YOU CAN . $
01 I CAN'T ALVIN . $
ABSOLUTELY . $
03 YOU COULD . $
01 I 'VE JUST GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH IT . $
03 YOU HAVE . $
01 YOU 'RE IMAGINING THINGS . $
03 I 'M NOT . $
01 YOU 'RE JUST FED UP WITH YOUR DREARY LITTLE LIFE AND YOU
'VE DECIDED I 'M THE ONE WHO 'S GOING TO MAKE THE STARS TWIN
KLE IN BROAD DAYLIGHT . $
03 YES . $
YOU COULD . $
YOU DO . $
YOU DO THAT . $
01 I CAN'T WORK MIRACLES . $
03 YES . $
YOU DO . $
YOU CAN . $
FOR ME . $
01 WHAT 'S THE USE OF MIRACLES IF YOU 'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO B
ENEFITS ? $
03 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN . $
01 I DON'T . $
03 I MEAN - I MEAN I LIKE YOU . $
DON'T LAUGH . $
01 I 'M NOT . $
03 CAN I STAY NOW ? $
01 IF YOU STOP CRYING , YES . $
03 I HAVE , YES . $
01 WELL THEN ... $
03 I WON'T ANY MORE . $
01 OH GOD . $
03 WHAT ? $
01 WHERE AM I GOING TO PUT YOU ? $
YOU CAN'T SLEEP IN MAURICE'S ROOM AND YOU CAN'T HAVE SHEETS
. $
03 CAN'T I STAY IN YOUR ROOM ? $
01 NO . $
03 ON TOP OF THE EIDERDOWN . $
01 I 'LL FIND YOU A PAIR OF PYJAMAS AND GIVE YOU SOME BLANKE
TS AND YOU CAN SLEEP WHERE YOU USED TO . $
03 I CAN'T . $
01 WHY ' CAN'T ' ? $
03 I 'VE PILED EVERYTHING UP ON THE BED . $
IT WAS THE ONLY PLACE . $
01 YOU 'LL HAVE TO TAKE THEM OFF AGAIN . $
03 LET ME SLEEP ON THE FLOOR IN YOUR ROOM . $
01 NO . $
03 I MIGHT AS WELL SLEEP AT HOME IF I CAN'T SLEEP WITH YOU -
 I MEAN WHERE YOU ARE . $
01 GO THEN . $
03 I DIDN'T MEAN IT . $
I 'D STILL RATHER BE HERE . $
01 STAY THEN . $
03 COULDN'T YOU LET ME RENT MY BEDROOM AGAIN WHEN YOUR BROTH
ER 'S GONE BACK ? $
01 WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOTHER ? $
03 SHE WON'T MIND . $
SHE 'D BE GLAD I EXPECT . $
I EXPECT SHE 'D BE ABLE TO HAVE TWO FELLARS STAYING THEN . $
SHE LIKES RENTING OUT . $
ESPECIALLY TO CONTRACT WORKERS . $
01 MM ? $
03 CONTRACT MEN ONLY COME FOR SO LONG UNTIL THEIR JOB'S DONE
 THEN THEY MOVE ON TO ANOTHER CONTRACT SOMEWHERE ELSE . $
SHE LIKES THE CONSTRUCTION MEN BEST , BUILDERS AND SCAFFOLD
ERECTORS , CEMENT MIXERS AND DEMOLITION MEN AND ROAD WIDENER
S . $
SHE HAS THIS MISTER VERITY STAYING NOW WHO CAME A MONTH BACK
 . $
HE MENDS TELEPHONE WIRES . $
HIGH TENSION CABLES . $
HE HAS TO SPEND ALL DAY CLIMBING UP THESE TELEGRAPH POLES IN
 THE COUNTRY , CLIMBING AND HANGING ON BY LEANING BACKWARDS
AWAY FROM IT AT THE TOP , WITH A WIDE STRAP AND BELT AROUND
HIM . $
YOU NEED TO BE STRONG ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE 'S A WIND ON . $
HE COMES HOME WITH THE BACK OF HIS SHOULDER MUSCLES ACHING W
ERE THE STRAP'S BEEN PULLING ON HIM AND AT FIRST MAM MASSAGE
D WHERE IT HURT IN FRONT OF THE FIRE AND THEN LATER ON UP IN
 HIS ROOM . $
01 HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THESE DETAILS ? $
03 I 'D LISTEN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS . $
HE 'D GROAN AND SIGH WHEN SHE RUBBED AND THEN HE 'D STOP AND
 BE QUIET FOR A BIT . $
THEN SHE 'D GROAN AS THOUGH SHE WAS GETTING RUBBED . $
01 MAYBE HER SHOULDER STRAPS PULLED TOO TIGHT AS WELL . $
03 I TRIED TO WATCH THROUGH THE KEYHOLE BUT THEY DREW THE CU
RTAINS AND THAT WAS THAT . $
A FEW TIMES THEY LEFT THE LIGHT ON BUT I COULD ONLY EVER SEE
 LITTLE BITS OF THEM . $
01 WHICH BITS ? $
03 IT WAS HARD TO TELL . $
01 I 'M SURE . $
03 I SAW HIS BOTTOM ONCE . $
VERY BIG WITH HOLLOWS IN THE SIDE WHEN HE MOVED IT . $
LIKE BIG DIMPLES AND SOME OF HIS LEGS I SAW , BUT THAT 'S AL
L . $
I NEVER GOT THE WHOLE PICTURE . $
I NEVER SAW MUCH OF HER EVER BECAUSE MISTER VERITY OR WHOEVE
R IT IS COVERS MOST OF HER UP . $
01 I SEE . $
03 SO SHE WOULDN'T MIND IF I CAME AND LIVED HERE . $
SHE 'D HAVE MORE RENT AND BE ABLE TO MAKE THEM JEALOUS OF EA
CH OTHER . $
01 I CAN'T HAVE YOU STAYING HERE . $
I 'M SORRY . $
IT WOULD START PEOPLE TALKING IN THE NEIGHBOURHOOD . $
IT WAS DIFFERENT WHEN FATHER WAS ALIVE . $
03 IT WOULDN'T MATTER WHAT THEY SAID . $
01 IT WOULD TO ME . $
03 THEY WOULDN'T KNOW THE TRUTH . $
01 EXACTLY . $
03 I WOULDN'T CARE . $
I 'D LIKE THEM TO THINK THINGS . $
01 HERE . $
BLANKETS AND PYJAMAS . $
YOU CAN SLEEP THERE . $
03 THANK YOU . $
01 WHAT TIME HAVE YOU TO BE AT WORK TOMORROW ? $
03 IT 'S MY SATURDAY OFF , I THOUGHT I SAID . $
01 I 'LL BRING YOU TEA IN THE MORNING . $
#64 $
03 THANK YOU . $
01 HAVE A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP . $
03 YES I WILL . $
01 YOU KNOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS . $
03 YES . $
01 GOOD NIGHT . $
03 GOOD NIGHT . $
04 OOH - HOO - HERGH - HERGH - $
02 EH ? $
AWHH - SOFCHA - $
04 HOH - $
YOU 'RE ALL RIGHT AREN'T YOU ... ? $
02 HRMM ... ? $
04 MMMMMH ... $
02 TAKE IT OFF . $
04 HOH NO - $
02 TAKE IT OFF . $
04 IT 'S COLD , LOVE . $
02 OPEN IT . $
04 THERE 'S FROST ON THE GROUND . $
02 I LIKE IT BARE . $
04 SO DO I , BUT NOT WHEN THERE 'S A WIND UP AND FROST . $
02 I 'LL WARM YOU . $
04 WE ALL LIKE IT BARE WITHIN REASON . $
02 I 'LL KEEP YOU WARM . $
04 I 'M WEAK BUT I WON'T LIE DOWN . $
02 YOU 'RE STANDING . $
04 SO ARE YOU . $
02 I 'LL STAY STANDING TILL YOU LIE DOWN . $
04 I 'D BEST STAY ON MY FEET THEN . $
02 YOU 'RE TOO COVERED UP . $
04 I 'M PROPERLY DRESSED . $
02 YOU 'RE GOING TO BE EXPOSED . $
04 NOW , NOT NOW , NOT HERE . $
02 YOU 'RE A TART IN A FIELD . $
04 DON'T SAY THAT . $
02 WHY ? $
04 WE 'RE NOT IN A FIELD . $
02 YOU 'RE A TART AGAINST A TREE TRUNK . $
04 I 'M UP AGAINST IT ALL RIGHT . $
02 IT 'S COMING OFF . $
04 NO . $
02 I LIKE IT BARE . $
04 NOT IN A PUBLIC PLACE . $
02 BARE ... $
04 DON'T KEEP SAYING BARE . $
02 WITHOUT ... $
04 I 'VE SAID NO . $
02 NO CLOTHES . $
04 I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN - BARELY NO CLOTHES ON EXPOSED WITHO
UT , YOU 'VE MADE YOUR POINT I TAKE IT BUT NOT IN A SHOP DOO
RWAY , LOVE . $
IT 'S COLD , A SHEET OF PLATE GLASS ON THE ARSE , CATCH YOUR
 DEATH , YOU HAVE TO THINK TWICE . $
02 LET 'S FIND THAT TREE TRUNK THEN . $
04 THERE 'S A PARK FULL OF TREES LOCKED UP FOR THE NIGHT . $
02 CUT DOWN SOME TREES . $
04 SHUT . $
02 MAKE A HOUSE WITH THE LOGS . $
04 DON'T REACH DOWN THERE , HERE , LOVE . $
02 STRIP OFF THE BARK . $
04 YOU 'RE LOSING YOUR HAT . $
02 MAKE A FIRE WITH THE WOOD . $
04 I HAVE HOLD OF YOUR HAT BUT DON'T BEND YOUR KNEES . $
02 BURNING . $
04 YOU 'VE TORN OPEN MY BLOUSE . $
02 SAW DOWN THE TREES . $
04 THEY 'RE LOCKED UP IN THE PARKS . $
02 CHOP DOWN THE PARKS . $
04 YOU CAN'T SPOIL THE PARKS . $
KIDDIES PLAY THERE , SIT ON THE SWINGS AND SLIDE . $
MOTHERS PERAMBULATE IN AMONG THE GARDENS WHERE THE FLOWER BE
DS GROW BIGGER AND BETTER ALL SUMMER . $
LATELY , WITH SEPTEMBER OUT OF THE WAY , THE LEAVES DROP OFF
 , BUT STILL THE MOTHERS KEEP GOING , PUSHING THEIR PRAMS IN
 SPITE OF THEM BLOWING ABOUT AND THE POND GETS FULL . $
A MAN WITH A BROOM KEEPS THE PATHS SWEPT CLEAR BUT STILL THE
 POND FILLS UP WITH THE LEAVES , CURLED AT THE CORNERS LIKE
POTATO CRISPS , DRIFTING ON PAST THE DUCKS . $
THEY SOON GO LIMP AND SINK TO THE MUD BED AT THE BOTTOM , FR
OM FOUR TO FIVE TO SIX FEET DEEP IN THE MIDDLE . $
AND THEN , BY THE END OF THE YEAR , THERE 'S ONLY THE TWIGS
AND BRANCHES STILL LEFT ON THE TRUNKS . $
REFLECTED AT FIRST IN THE TOP OF THE POND , AND SOON , NOT E
VEN THAT WHEN THE ICE COVERS THEM ALL OVER . $
02 WHAT ? $
04 THE REFLECTIONS . $
YOU CAN'T SEE 'OWT IN A POND FULL OF ICE . $
02 WHERE ARE THE DUCKS ? $
04 HIDING OUT OF SIGHT IN AMONG THE LAURELS . $
02 WHERE ARE WE ? $
04 IN YOUR SISTER'S LITTLE HOUSE . $
02 ALREADY ? $
04 DOESN'T TAKE LONG ONCE YOU SET OFF . $
02 WE 'LL HAVE TO BE QUIET OR WE 'LL WAKE THE OLD MAN . $
04 OLD MISTER BOWERS ? $
02 YOU KNOW HIM ? $
04 YOUR FATHER ? $
02 YES . $
04 HE 'S DEAD , LOVE . $
02 DEAD ? $
04 YES , HE 'S DEAD , LOVE . $
02 OH . $
DID HE DIE ? $
04 HE DID . $
HE DIED , LOVE . $
02 HE WOULD . $
04 I NEVER SAW HIM . $
02 IT 'S JUST LIKE HIM , STUBBORN SOD . $
04 YOU DON'T NEED TO KEEP QUITE FOR FEAR OF WAKING HIM NOW H
E 'S DISPOSED OF , UNLESS YOU THINK HE 'LL TURN IN HIS GRAVE
 . $
02 I DON'T BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH . $
04 I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN . $
02 HE WON'T SHOW UP IF HE 'S DEAD . $
04 HE SANK TO THE BOTTOM OF THE POND . $
02 DAD'S DEAD . $
04 ELEGAIC . $
I 'VE STILL GOT YOUR HAT . $
02 SOME FIND CONSOLATION IN THE RESURRECTION . $
04 I KNOW , LOVE . $
02 OTHERS DON'T BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH . $
04 SOME SAY THE HEREAFTER 'S HEAVENLY BEAUTIFUL , OTHERS WOU
LDN'T GIVE TUPPENCE FOR IT . $
02 THERE 'S ONLY BEAUTY HERE . $
04 BEAUTY 'S LOVELY . $
02 BEHOLD THE LAWS OF NATURE . $
04 NATURE 'S WONDERFUL IF YOU HAVE FAITH . $
02 FAITH . $
04 ROMANTIC . $
02 BEAUTY LIVES , UGLINESS DIES . $
04 BUT THE MEMORY LINGERS ON . $
02 DEAD MEMORIES ARE UGLY . $
04 IF IT 'S DEAD , FORGET IT . $
02 I CAN'T . $
IT 'S IN MY LIVING MEMORY . $
04 OF COURSE . $
02 LIVING MEMORIES ARE BEAUTIFUL IF THEY 'RE NOT NOSTALGIC .
 $
04 AND ROMANTIC IF THEY 'RE FAITHFUL . $
02 THANK YOU . $
04 YOU GET WARMER INSIDE . $
WE CAN GET FULLY UNCLOTHED TOGETHER AND BE COMFORTABLE WITH
EACH OTHER ON THE SOFA . $
WE WON'T WAKE YOUR DAD AND THERE 'S NO FROST OR WIND . $
01 SO . $
THIS IS IT . $
04 OH . $
HELLO , LOVE . $
01 MRS. HANKER . $
04 YES , IT 'S ME AGAIN . $
01 I WON'T HAVE IT . $
04 I 'M BACK . $
01 I 'M DISGUSTED WITH YOU , SLOBBERING , BOTH OF YOU . $
APPALLED . $
04 OH DEAR , I AM SORRY TO HEAR THAT . $
THAT 'S NOT HOW WE FEEL , IS IT , DARLING ? $
#65 $
01 MAURICE ! $
02 HELLO . $
01 YOU 'RE DRUNK . $
02 BLIND DRUNK . $
04 DON'T EXAGGERATE . $
HE DOES EXAGGERATE . $
YOU DO EXAGGERATE . $
SLIGHT INEBRIATION DOESN'T QUALIFY FOR BLIND DRUNK OR EVEN P
LASTERED . $
01 I 'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU . $
04 SPYING THROUGH THE KEYHOLE . $
01 I FOLLOWED YOUR DRUNKEN PROGRESS ALONG THE BANKS OF THE C
ANAL . $
04 YOU MUST HAVE HEARD US SINGING THEN . $
01 PROBABLY . $
04 LOVELY VOICE YOUR BROTHER HAS , HAVEN'T YOU ? $
01 NO . $
PLEASE . $
ALVIN WILL HEAR . $
04 MAGICAL . $
02 UNDYING . $
04 I 'VE STILL GOT YOUR HAT . $
03 SO . $
THIS IS IT ! $
04 ALVIN ! $
03 GET DRESSED . $
04 I 'VE ONLY JUST THIS MINUTE TAKEN THEM OFF . $
03 I 'VE CAUGHT YOU THIS TIME . $
RED - HANDED . $
04 HOW COME YOU 'RE HERE IN YOUR PYJAMAS ? $
03 HOW COME YOU 'RE HERE IN YOUR BRASSIERE ? $
04 WE 'LL EACH MIND OUR OWN BUSINESS , SHALL WE ? $
03 THEY 'RE NOT MY PYJAMAS ANYWAY . $
01 THEY 'RE YOURS , MAURICE . $
02 HOW COME YOU 'RE HERE IN MY PYJAMAS ? $
03 HOW COME YOU 'RE HERE IN MY MOTHER ? $
02 I BORROWED HER . $
03 AYE , WELL - THAT 'S FUNNY , 'COS I BORROWED YOUR PYJAMAS
 . $
01 GO BACK TO BED , ALVIN . $
LEAVE THIS TO ME . $
04 SO . $
THIS IS IT ! $
BACK TO BED IS IT ? $
01 I 'LL DEAL WITH THEM . $
04 I 'VE CAUGHT YOU BOTH . $
ONE HOT FOOT THE OTHER REDHANDED . $
01 YOU 'RE THE ONE WHO 'S BEEN EXPOSED . $
04 I THOUGHT I ASKED YOU TO SEND HIM STRAIGHT HOME . $
01 GO TO MY ROOM AND WAIT FOR ME . $
04 STAY WHERE YOU ARE . $
02 WHO 'S THE KID ? $
04 MY ONLY SON , ALVIN . $
02 DO AS YOUR MOTHER SAYS , ALVIN . $
04 MY ONE AND ONLY SON FLAGRANTING HIMSELF IN FRONT OF US ,
AND NOT EVEN IN HIS OWN PYJAMAS . $
YOU 'RE NOT FIT . $
COME ON , PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON AND LET 'S HAVE YOU OUT OF HER
E , DOWN STROGGEN HILL ROAD . $
01 WHAT HAVE YOU TO SAY FOR YOURSELF THIS TIME ? $
02 I GOT THE DATES MIXED UP . $
01 I DON'T BELIEVE YOU . $
02 IT WAS TONIGHT , LATE TONIGHT NOT TOMORROW . $
01 YOU MEANT TO DECEIVE ME ALL ALONG . $
02 THE TRAIN GOT IN TONIGHT . $
01 I HAD A FEELING YOU 'D ARRIVED . $
04 I HAD A FEELING . $
03 SO DID I . $
02 I HAVE A FEELING I GOT IN AT TEN-O-CLOCK . $
01 WHY DIDN'T YOU COME STRAIGHT HERE ? $
02 HOW WAS I TO KNOW WHERE YOU WERE IN THE DARK ? $
01 BYEWAYS . $
02 BUT HOW TO GET THERE ? $
BYEWAYS AREN'T ON THE MAIN ROAD . $
THEY 'RE OFF THE BEATEN TRACK . $
01 THIS BYEWAYS IS ON A ROAD . $
STROGGEN HILL ROAD . $
THE DRIVE IS CRAZY PAVING AND IT LEADS TO THE ROAD . $
THE ROAD IS AN ORDINARY PUBLIC ROAD . $
IT ENDS AT BYEWAYS . $
IT TAKES YOU THERE . $
ALL THE WAY . $
YOU CAN'T MISS IT . $
THERE 'S NOTHING FURTHER ON EXCEPT WOODS AND FIELDS AND FOOT
PATHS . $
02 IF YOU 'VE NEVER BEEN BEFORE , IT 'S HARD TO FIND . $
01 IT 'S NOT MY FAULT YOU 'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH THIS AREA .
$
YOU SHOULD HAVE COME BEFORE . $
BESIDES , AS I WAS SAYING ONLY THIS EVENING , YOU 'RE NOT A
CHILD . $
YOU 'VE TRAVELLED ALL OVER THE WORLD . $
I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT YOU 'D HAVE FOUND YOUR WAY HERE INSTIN
CTIVELY . $
02 TO TELL THE TRUTH I WAS THIRSTY . $
I WENT FOR A DRINK . $
04 HE COMES INTO THE JUNCTION , OPPOSITE SAXBYS' , YOU KNOW
. $
01 NO . $
02 THE JUNCTION . $
04 IN JOWETT STREET . $
YOU KNOW , ALVIN . $
03 YES . $
I KNOW WHERE YOU MEAN . $
04 HE KNOWS WHERE I MEAN . $
02 I KNOW WHERE YOU MEAN . $
04 WE ALL KNOW . $
MADAM KNOWS WHERE I MEAN BUT CHOOSES TO PLAY DUMB . $
SHE WANTS TO BE SET APART FROM US . $
01 I KNOW WHERE YOU MEAN . $
04 I KNEW YOU DID . $
02 I GO INTO THE JOWETTS ARMS . $
04 THE JUNCTION PUB . $
02 IN JUNKETT STREET . $
04 JOWETT STREET . $
HE HAS A DRINK AND HE ASKS HIS WAY TO STROGGEN HILL ROAD . $
WELL , OF COURSE , UP PRICKS MY EARS RIGHT AWAY . $
THERE AREN'T MANY LIVES UP THIS WAY AND WHEN HE SAID BYEWAYS
 I CHIPS IN , DIDN'T I ? $
02 SHE CHIPS IN . $
03 YOU 'RE ALWAYS CHIPPING IN . $
04 I SAID , ' EXCUSE ME , BUT DID I HEAR YOU SAY BYEWAYS ? '
 $
02 ' YES ' . $
04 ' OF STROGGEN HILL ROAD ? ' $
02 ' STROGGEN HILL , YES . ' $
04 ' I KNOW PRECISELY WHERE THAT IS . ' $
02 ' YOU 'D BETTER HAVE A DRINK THEN . ' $
04 ' DO YOU INSIST ? ' $
02 ' GIVE HER A DRINK . ' $
04 ' AS I 'M FORCED , I 'LL HAVE A GIN . ' $
02 ' ONE LARGE GIN . ' $
04 ' WHO SAID LARGE ? ' $
02 ' I SAID LARGE . ' $
04 ' LARGE IT IS . ' $
02 ' ANYONE WHO KNOWS WHERE STROGGEN HILL ROAD IS MUST BE WO
RTH A LARGE ONE . ' $
04 ' FLATTERER . ' $
AND I GAVE HIM HIS HAT . $
01 YOU DRANK ALL NIGHT . $
04 TILL THEY CLOSED , LOVE . $
02 FROM TEN-O-CLOCK . $
04 YOU SHOULD HAVE COME BACK WITH ME TO MY HOUSE THEN WE 'D
HAVE HAD NONE OF THIS EXPLAINING TO DO . $
02 MUST SEE MY LITTLE SISTER FIRST ... $
04 YES , WELL NOW YOU 'VE SEEN HER , CAN'T WE GO BACK TO MY
PLACE ? $
02 LET 'S ASK . $
04 EXCUSE ME - $
02 EXCUSE ME - $
04 WOULD YOU HAVE ANY OBJECTION ... $
RAISE YOUR HAT ... $
02 WOULD YOU HAVE ANY OBJECTION IF I RAISED MY HAT ? $
04 IF I WENT WITH THIS LADY ... $
02 IF THIS LADY RAISED MY HAT . $
04 THIS LADY TO HER HOUSE . $
02 RAISED THIS LADY TO HER HAT . $
04 HOUSE . $
TAKE THIS LADY TO HER HOUSE . $
02 HAVE THIS LADY IN HER HOUSE . $
01 NO OBJECTIONS . $
04 COME ON . $
LET 'S GET MOVING . $
WE COULD HAVE GONE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE , AVOIDED ALL TH
IS ALIBIING . $
NOW WE 'LL NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT . $
TRUCK YOUR SHIRT IN AND DON'T FORGET YOUR HAT . $
02 I HAVEN'T GOT A HAT . $
04 WELL WHOSE IS IT THEN ? $
01 HE NEVER WORE A HAT . $
04 HOW WAS I TO KNOW ? $
I NEVER SET EYES ON HIM BEFORE . $
#66 $
I 'LL TAKE IT BACK TOMORROW . $
01 YOU 'D BETTER BE QUIET WHEN YOU CREEP IN TOGETHER AT CALC
UTTA STREET OR YOU 'LL WAKE MISTER VERITY . $
04 OH MY GOD . $
YOU 'VE HIT IT . $
THANKS FOR REMINDING ME . $
THE VERY REASON I DIDN'T WANT TO TAKE HIM BACK THERE IN THE
IRST PLACE . $
TWO BIRDS BEATING ABOUT THE BUSH AND I MIGHT END UP WITH NEI
THER - ONE IN THE HAND'S WELL WORTH TWO YOU DON'T END UP WIT
H . $
02 CHANGED YOUR MIND ? $
04 MY MIND 'S LIKE A BED . $
ONCE IT 'S MADE UP I GET INTO IT AND STAY THERE , TUCKED IN
AT THE EDGES AND SNUG INSIDE , QUICK AS A FLASH . $
02 NOT TOO QUICK . $
I DON'T LIKE TO RUSH . $
04 WHATEVER YOU SAY WE SHALL DO . $
03 I 'M STAYING NOW THEN ? $
04 HAVE YOU A SPARE BED FOR THE NIGHT , DEAR ? $
HE 'S AWFULLY TIRED , YOUR BROTHER . $
01 HIS ROOM ISN'T READY YET . $
04 WE 'LL COPE SO LONG AS THERE 'S A BED AND BLANKETS . $
01 IF YOU 'LL KINDLY FOLLOW ME . $
03 YOU CAN'T LET THEM STAY . $
01 IF I SEND HER AWAY , SHE 'LL TAKE YOU BOTH WITH HER . $
THIS WAY PLEASE . $
04 COME ON , KINDLY FOLLOW ME . $
STEADY . $
MIND ALVIN , WE 'RE COMING THROUGH THERE . $
03 NO . $
04 YOU WOULDN'T GRUDGE YOUR MOTHER A BIT OF SEX MAKING . $
03 NOT WITH MISS BOWERS' BROTHER . $
04 WHY NOT , YOU 'VE HAD HIS SISTER . $
03 NOT TONIGHT . $
SHE REFUSED . $
01 HERE , BLANKETS AND PYJAMAS . $
YOU CAN SLEEP THERE . $
03 THANK YOU . $
01 WHAT TIME HAVE YOU TO BE AT WORK IN THE MORNING ? $
03 IT 'S MY SATURDAY OFF , I THOUGHT I SAID . $
01 I 'LL BRING YOU SOME TEA IN THE MORNING . $
03 THANK YOU . $
01 TRY AND HAVE A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP . $
03 YES , I WILL . $
01 YOU KNOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS ? $
03 YES . $
01 GOOD NIGHT . $
03 GOOD NIGHT . $
04 WHAT DO YOU WANT ? $
01 WHAT WILL YOU DO ? $
04 COMFORT EACH OTHER WHERE WE LEFT OFF . $
01 WHY DO YOU DO IT ? $
04 THE REALITY OF SEXUAL ENCOUNTER GIVES MY IMAGINATION A RE
ST . $
I ALWAYS SAY THERE 'S NOTHING SO BEAUTIFUL AS FEELING FLOODE
D RIGHT THROUGH BY SEXUAL EXPERIENCE WITH A MAN . $
AND THEN , FOR A WOMAN THERE 'S THE ADDED COMFORT OF KNOWING
 YOU YOURSELF ARE CAUSING COMFORT - PASSING IT ON LIKE , IN
THE PROCESS OF RECEIVING . $
01 YOU TOLD HIM HIS FATHER HAD DIED . $
04 YES AND HE GOT A BIT UPSET . $
THE BEREAVED ARE ALWAYS AVAILABLE FOR A BIT OF COMFORT . $
STIMULATION 'S VERY GOOD FOR IT . $
01 VERY WELL , I 'LL ALLOW YOU TO PROCEED ON THIS OCCASION B
ECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO APPEAR PURITANCIAL ABOUT THE SEXUAL I
MPULSE . $
I DISAPPROVE BUT ONLY OF YOU DOING IT IN MY BUNGALOW WITH MY
 BROTHER . $
I TOO NEED STIMULATION AND COMFORT IN THESE TRYING TIMES AND
 I 'M JUST AS CAPABLE OF DISPENSING IT AS YOU ARE . $
IN FUTURE I SHALL HAVE PRIORITY . $
04 I DON'T BLAME YOU . $
YOU 'VE GOT A LOVELY BROTHER . $
I 'M VERY GRATEFUL , BLESS YOU , GOOD NIGHT . $
01 GOOD NIGHT . $
01 THANK YOU , DOCTOR FRANKLYN . $
05 NOT AT ALL . $
01 I 'M SORRY YOU HAD TO COME AND SEE ME BUT - $
05 OF COURSE , I UNDERSTAND . $
ANYTIME . $
01 I WASN'T FEELING TOO GOOD ANYWAY . $
05 NO . $
YOU MIGHT FEEL A BIT OFF COLOUR - DIZZY FROM TIME TO TIME ,
BUT DON'T WORRY . $
IT PASSES . $
JUST DO WHAT YOU DID IN FACT . $
HOP INTO BED WITH A WARM DRINK AND FORGET ABOUT THE WORLD .
$
01 I DIDN'T WANT TO WAIT AROUND IN THE SURGERY . $
PEOPLE WONDER WHAT 'S WRONG WITH YOU . $
YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU MIGHT MEET . $
IF , IT 'S SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU , THEY MIGHT ASK WHAT 'S TH
E MATTER . $
05 SOME PATIENTS ASK WHETHER THEY KNOW YOU OR NOT . $
THEY OFTEN ASK ME . $
I SOMETIMES THINK THAT 'S ALL SOME OF THEM COME FOR , TO FIN
D OUT WHO 'S GOT WHAT . $
YOU MIGHT CALL IT MISPLACED HYPOCHONDRIA ON THEIR PART . $
01 YES . $
05 WELL . $
IS THERE ANYTHING YOU 'D LIKE ME TO DO ABOUT IT ? $
01 NOT FOR ANOTHER SIX MONTHS . $
05 OH YES . $
WE SHALL CALL ROUND BEFORE THEN OF COURSE . $
I SEE . $
WELL , HAVE YOU ANY RELATIONS NEAR AT HAND ? $
01 NOT IN HOCKTON . $
05 OH . $
01 THEY 'RE IN DONISTHORPE . $
05 WILL YOU BE GOING TO STAY WITH THEM ? $
01 I HAVEN'T DECIDED YET . $
05 I ASK BECAUSE - AND I DON'T WANT TO ALARM YOU - YOU 'RE N
OT A YOUNG WOMAN , YOU COULD HAVE A PAINFUL DELIVERY . $
01 A BIT OF PAIN NEVER HURT ANYONE . $
05 I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE WISE FOR YOU TO HAVE SOMEONE CLOSE
TO YOU WHEN THE TIME COMES , FOR THAT EXTRA BIT OF SUPPORT A
ND COMFORT . $
01 I 'LL MANAGE ... $
05 THERE 'S NO CHANCE OF THE FATHER ... ? $
01 NO . $
NO CHANCE . $
I DON'T KNOW WHO IT WAS . $
05 OH . $
AH . $
I SEE . $
WELL . $
01 I 'LL DO ALL THE THINGS YOU SAID . $
05 ONE THING . $
01 WHAT ? $
05 WELL ... THESE DAYS A WOMAN IN YOUR POSITION , I MEAN IN
YOUR CONDITION PHYSICALLY , OF YOUR AGE , FROM A HEALTH POIN
T OF VIEW ALONE - YOU UNDERSTAND - IF I ADVISED IT . $
01 WHAT ? $
05 THE HOSPITAL IS ALLOWED TO PERFORM THE OPERATION FREE , O
N THE HEALTH SCHEME THAT IS . $
01 OH I KNOW THAT . $
05 QUITE A FEW OF MY UNMARRIED PATIENTS HAVE HAD IT DONE . $
01 YOU MEAN ABORTION ? $
05 YES . $
01 OH NO . $
I WOULDN'T DO THAT . $
I WANT TO HAVE IT . $
05 GOOD . $
I 'M GLAD . $
01 I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT 'S LIKE . $
05 I 'M SURE HE OR SHE WILL BE A BEAUTIFUL CHILD . $
01 I MEANT I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT 'S LIKE TO HAVE IT . $
05 YES . $
IT 'S QUITE AN EXPERIENCE . $
01 YOU SOUND AS THOUGH YOU 'VE BEEN THROUGH IT YOURSELF . $
I 'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT . $
IT COULD BE THE MAKING OF ME . $
05 OH YES INDEED . $
01 MAKE OR BREAK . $
05 I 'LL CALL WHENEVER YOU WANT ME TO . $
JUST TELEPHONE . $
01 I 'LL SEND A MESSAGE . $
I 'M NOT ON THE PHONE . $
05 OF COURSE . $
I FORGET . $
01 GOOD MORNING . $
05 IT 'S AFTERNOON ALREADY . $
01 IS IT . $
GOOD AFTERNOON THEN . $
05 GOOD AFTERNOON , MISS ... $
01 GOODBYE . $
05 GOODBYE , GOODBYE , GOODBYE , GOODBYE ... $
03 I 'VE FINISHED IN THE BATHROOM NOW . $
I HAD A BATH AS WELL . $
WAS THAT ALL RIGHT ? $
HELLO ? $
GOOD NIGHT ... $
#67 $
01 GOOD NIGHT . $
03 EH ? $
OH . $
I HAD A BATH . $
01 I HEARD . $
03 YOU DON'T MIND ? $
01 ' COURSE NOT . $
03 THANK YOU . $
WHAT 'S THE MATTER ? $
01 NOTHING . $
03 ARE YOU FEELING ALL RIGHT ? $
THANK YOU . $
01 GOOD NIGHT . $
03 YES . $
THANK YOU . $
GOOD NIGHT . $
01 GOOD NIGHT . $
06 NOT A VERY NICE DAY IS IT ? $
01 NO . $
06 A TROUGH OF LOW PRESSURE IN THE MIDLANDS THE FORECAST SAI
D . $
01 DOES THAT MEAN WE 'RE IN FOR A DEEP DEPRESSION ? $
06 SOMETHING LIKE THAT . $
01 I THOUGHT SO . $
06 SO LONG AS THE RAIN KEEPS OFF I 'M HAPPY . $
01 IT WON'T GET ME DOWN IF IT DOESN'T . $
06 THAT 'S RIGHT . $
01 FOUR AND SIX ? $
06 PLEASE . $
01 AND I 'D LIKE TWO PINTS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE . $
06 AS AND FROM TODAY ? $
01 YES . $
06 RIGHT . $
01 AND A JAR OF CREAM NOW . $
06 SINGLE ? $
01 DOUBLE . $
06 SMALL ? $
01 LARGE . $
06 LARGE . $
01 I 'LL LEAVE A NOTE FOR EGGS . $
06 VERY GOOD , THANK YOU . $
BUILDING YOURSELF UP FOR THE WINTER ? $
01 MY BROTHER 'S COMING TO STAY FOR A WHILE . $
06 OH YES . $
VERY NICE . $
TWO'S COMPANY . $
01 THAT 'S NOT HIM . $
06 OH . $
OH NO . $
01 HE 'S COMING TONIGHT . $
06 AH , OF COURSE , I 'LL PUT THESE EXTRAS ON NEXT WEEKS' BI
LL . $
01 DO . $
06 RIGHT . $
01 THANK YOU . $
06 GOOD MORNING . $
01 BUILDING MYSELF UP - DAMN CHEEK . $
THE MILKMAN SAW YOU . $
03 EH ? $
WHAT DID YOU SAY ? $
01 NOTHING . $
01 TIM . $
COME ON TIM . $
TIMMY - TIM - TIM . $
MEEOW . $
PUSSY PUSSY PUSS - PUSS . $
COME ON THEN . $
DINK O' MILKY . $
I SUPPOSE I OUGHT TO BUILD MYSELF UP . $
' OH DA-DEE-DUM , DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DEE-UM . $
DA-DEE-DA-DEE DA-DEE-DA-DEE DA-DEE-DA-DEE DA-DE $
OO-OO-OO- , OO-OO-OO- ... $
04 SO LOO-LA-LOO-LA-LOO-LA-LOO-LA BYE BYE , $
DO YOU WANT THE MOON TO PLAY WITH $
OR THE STARS TO RUN AWAY WITH $
THEY 'LL COME IF YOU DON'T CRY ... $
01 WHERE DID YOU GET THAT ? $
04 OH HELLO . $
YOU MEAN THIS DEMONSTRATION MODEL ? $
01 YES . $
WHOSE IS IT ? $
04 MINE . $
01 IMPOSSIBLE . $
04 THESE THINGS WILL HAPPEN . $
01 NOT AFTER ONE NIGHT . $
04 AFTER JUST ONE NIGHT . $
01 I DON'T BELIEVE YOU . $
04 PLEASE YOURSELF . $
IT 'S A FACT . $
HERE 'S THE PROOF , SUCKING AWAY . $
COME ON DRINK IT ALL UP - NEARLY GONE . $
SUCKY - SUCKY - SUCKY . $
01 DISGUSTING . $
04 LOVELY . $
01 DID YOU HAVE A GOOD SLEEP ? $
03 YES THANK YOU . $
01 I 'LL GET YOUR BREAKFAST . $
03 I DREAMT ABOUT YOU . $
01 NIGHTMARES ? $
03 I DREAMT I HELD ON TO YOU . $
I STEPPED OFF THE PAVEMENT INTO THE ROAD ONLY IT WASN'T THE
KERB IT WAS A CLIFF AND TO STOP MYSELF FROM FALLING I CLUNG
ONTO YOU . $
01 YOU DO RATHER ... $
04 MUST YOU TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT ? $
01 HE 'S USED TO IT . $
04 IT HURTS HIS FEELINGS . $
01 PITY . $
I DREAMT I HELD ON TO MAURICE . $
04 I DID . $
WHOOPS , SLIPPED OUT DIDN'T YOU . $
NEVER MIND POPPET . $
HERE YOU ARE , POP IT IN AGAIN , IN YOU GO . $
IT IS A NICE BIT OF RUBBER TEET ISN'T IT LOVELY ? $
01 MUST YOU TALK LIKE THAT TO HIM ? $
04 I 'M USED TO IT . $
03 I 'LL SAY YOU ARE . $
04 I CAN'T HELP IT IF IT 'S ALWAYS SLIPPING IN AND POPPING O
UT CAN I ? $
NO . $
THEY LIKE IT , DON'T THEY ? $
EH ? $
SOMEONE TALKING TO THEM WHILE THEY 'RE EATING . $
01 WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE FOR BREAKFAST ? $
03 OH - ANYTHING $
04 DYNAMIC . $
01 PORRIDGE ? $
03 ALL RIGHT . $
01 TOAST - BACON - ? $
03 THANK YOU . $
04 HE USUALLY HAS CORNFLAKES AND AN EGG . $
01 YOU COULD HAVE AN EGG . $
03 NO THANK YOU . $
01 WHAT DO YOU USUALLY HAVE ? $
03 BREAD AND JAM AND SHREDDIES . $
04 NOBODY 'S ALWAYS RIGHT ALL THE TIME . $
SHALL WE PLAY PATTA-BACK NOW ? $
SHALL WE ? $
YES . $
COME ON THEN , UPS AND OVER . $
03 WHAT ABOUT YOU ? $
01 I 'VE HAD MY BREAKFAST . $
04 THERE YOU ARE . $
ONE TWO THREE PITTA-PATTA PITTA-PATTA PITTA-PATTA $
01 THIS HOUSE IS TOO SMALL FOR THE THREE OF US . $
04 I 'M IN ACCORDANCE WITH THAT . $
WHY DON'T YOU JOIN THE NAVY AND SET SAIL ? $
03 MY SENSE OF DUTY KEEPS ME HERE , TIED HAND AND FOOT . $
04 SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU STAYING HERE BECAUSE YOU 'RE SUPPOSE
D TO AS THE OTHER GUILTY HALF YOU KNOW . $
YOU MUST FEEL FREE TO BUGGER OFF WHENEVER YOU LIKE - FREE AS
 THE DRIVEN WIND AS BLOWS - $
#68 $
WHOOPS - $
THERE , HE DID ONE . $
SHE WON'T NAIL YOU DOWN TO OBLIGATIONS JUST FOR THE ONE NIGH
T . $
YOU 'RE YOUNGER THAN HER , YOU HAVE A LIFE OF YOUR OWN TO LI
VE ON THE OCEAN WAVE EXPLORING YOUR FATAL DESTINY . $
GO ON , HOP IT . $
AND WHY SHOULD YOU BE FORCED TO CHANGE YOUR JOB TO EARN MORE
 MONEY TO BUY A BIGGER HOUSE TO LIVE OUT THE REST OF YOUR LI
FE IN WITH A WOMAN WHO 'S NOT FUSSY WHETHER YOU DO OR NOT ..
. ? $
03 YOU TALK AS THOUGH I KNOW ABOUT IT . $
04 WHAT ? $
03 THE BABY . $
04 YOU DON'T MEAN YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HIM YET ? $
01 IF I TELL HIM HE 'LL PRACTICALLY FORCE ME INTO MARRIAGE .
 $
04 ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WANT , FORCING ? $
01 NOBODY 'S GOING TO MAKE ME DO ANYTHING AGAINST MY WILL $
04 YOU 'VE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT THEN HAVE YOU ? $
01 NO . $
UNFORTUNATELY . $
04 YOU 'RE NOT LIKELY TO DO ANY BETTER IF YOU ASK ME . $
01 OH SHUT UP , NOBODY EVER ASKS YOU IF THEY CAN HELP IT . $
04 I 'M NOT OFFENDED . $
01 I WON'T MARRY HIM . $
03 I 'D BE UXORIOUS . $
01 NOT WITH ME . $
04 OH GO ON DEAR , WED HIM FOR ME . $
YOU 'LL GET ON . $
WE ALL KNOW THE SEXUAL ASPECT OF NUPTIAL ARRANGEMENTS IS THE
 LEAST LITTLE PART OF IT - WITH SOME MEN AN INFINITESIMAL PO
RTION , PROPORTIONATELY SPEAKING OF THAT WHICH IS NEEDED OR
SOUGHT AFTER THE FIRST SIX WEEKS HARD BASHING'S OVER AND DON
E WITH . $
AND I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THIS ON BEHALF OF ALL HAPPY HOU
SEWIVES LISTENING IN - NAMELY WE FEEL SURE YOU BOTH HAVE ALL
 THE EXCELLENT QUALITIES NEEDED TO KEEP YOUR SHIP OF MARRIAG
E AWAY FROM THE ROCKS OF DISILLUSION . $
AND ALSO , THAT EVEN IF YOU DO GET FED UP IN A FEW YEARS TIM
E YOU CAN ALWAYS SEEK MARRIAGE GUIDANCE AND ADVICE FROM YOUR
 FELLOW CITIZENS . $
IF THAT 'S NO GOOD YOU CAN INDULGE IN MENTAL CRUELTY FOR A B
IT TO LIVEN THINGS UP OR HAVE INDIVIDUAL BREAKDOWNS OR BE UN
FAITHFUL OR RECONCILED OR IN THE LAST RESORT , DIVORCED . $
THERE ARE VARIOUS SOLUTIONS BEFORE PENSION AND DEATH AND DES
PAIR SET IN FOR GOOD . $
THE MAIN THING IS SO LONG AS YOU ENJOY THESE THINGS TOGETHER
 , AS ONE FLESH . $
AND DON'T FORGET , I 'M CRADLING YOUR VICTIM HERE . $
OFFSPRINGS ARE VERY GOOD FOR INTERPOSING BETWEEN PARENTS IN
UNHAPPY MARRIAGES AND FORCING THEM TO STAY TOGETHER TILL THE
Y 'RE ALL CHOKED OFF WITH FRUSTRATION . $
01 ALL THIS IS PREMATURE . $
THE BABY ISN'T BORN YET . $
04 THAT IS A POINT . $
01 IF I MARRY HIM BEFORE IT IS AND SOMETHING GOES WRONG BEFO
RE THE DELIVERY DATE , OUR MARRIAGE WOULD BE A DEAD LOSS . $
I 'D NEVER BE ABLE TO TRY AGAIN , BEING SO OLD , AND ALVIN W
OULD LIVE ON IN WEDLOCK , THE LAST OF HIS LINE . $
04 THAT 'D BE NO LOSS TO EVOLUTION . $
01 HE 'D NEVER KNOW THE JOY OF FATHERHOOD . $
04 YOU COULD ADOPT . $
THERE 'S PLENTY OF WAITING LISTS . $
01 I WOULDN'T IMPOSE THAT AS A CONDITION . $
NO , IF THE BABY 'S BORN ALIFE AND WELL , THEN I 'LL CONSIDE
R MARRYING HIM , BUT IF I MISCARRY OR HAVE AN ABORTION , THE
N HE HAS TO PROMISE TO LEAVE ME ALONE . $
I SHALL NEVER WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN , I NEVER WANT TO SEE HI
M AGAIN . $
04 IT 'S A BARGAIN . $
YOU CAN'T ASK FOR FAIRER THAN THAT , ALVIN . $
03 I COULD BUT I WOULDN'T GET ANYWHERE . $
04 RIGHT , YOU 'RE A RED BRICK , MISS BOWERS . $
ONE OF THE OLD UNGLAZED WIRE CUTS . $
THEY DON'T MAKE THEM LIKE THAT ANY MORE . $
03 THE PORRIDGE IS NICE . $
01 I PUT CREAM ON IT . $
03 IT 'S NICE . $
01 THERE 'S MORE IF YOU WANT IT . $
03 I 'LL SEE . $
01 I COULDN'T EAT MINE . $
04 NOW , ALVIN , YOU MUST SEE SHE EATS ENOUGH FOR TWO . $
03 YOU SAID YOU 'D HAD BREAKFAST . $
01 A BISCUIT - I FELT A BIT ... $
03 WHAT . $
04 NOW 'S YOUR CHANCE . $
TELL HIM NOW . $
01 I DIDN'T FEEL HUNGRY . $
04 YOU FELT NAUSEOUS . $
TELL HIM NAUSEA , YOU FELT NAUSEATED BECAUSE YOU 'RE GOING T
O HAVE HIS CHILD . $
01 I FELT - EXCITED . $
04 NAUSEATED . $
01 I WAS NEARLY SICK THIS MORNING . $
04 MORNING SICKNESS . $
03 WHAT FOR ? $
01 BECAUSE MAURICE IS COMING I EXPECT . $
I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM FOR SEVEN YEARS . $
03 YOU LOOK ALRIGHT . $
01 I 'M ALRIGHT NOW . $
04 HOW FAR GONE ARE YOU ? $
01 THREE MONTHS . $
04 IS THAT ALL ! $
01 SEEMS LIKE TEN . $
04 OF COURSE HE 'LL NEVER BE RIGHT IF HE 'S BOTTLE FED . $
LITTLE BOYS PREFER THE BREAST . $
01 ALREADY , AT THAT AGE ? $
03 I 'VE HAD ENOUGH PORRIDGE THANK YOU . $
01 THERE 'S A BACON SANDWICH UNDER THE GRILL . $
03 I 'LL GET IT , THANK YOU . $
04 HERE , GRAB HOLD AND PRESENT HIM WITH IT NOW AS A MATTER
OF FACT . $
03 WHAT 'S THAT FOR ? $
01 US . $
04 IT 'S YOUR MOTHER'S GRANDCHILD DEAR . $
YOU 'RE A PROUD FATHER . $
03 DOES HE LOOK LIKE ME ? $
04 HE 'S A BIT LIKE YOUR DAD ABOUT THE MOUTH . $
01 HE DRIBBLED A LOT DID HE ? $
04 I 'LL SAY . $
ALL SNOT AND DRIBBLE . $
03 WHAT 'S HIS NAME ? $
04 HARRY . $
01 HARRY 'S AN UGLY NAME . $
04 HE 'S AN UGLY BABY . $
01 HE TAKES AFTER YOU . $
04 YOUR PHOTO GIVES THE LIE TO THAT . $
01 BEAUTY IS SKIN DEEP . $
04 AND UGLINESS GOES A LOT DEEPER . $
01 YOU SHOULD KNOW . $
04 I 'M NOT HERE TO ARGUE AND ABUSE . $
01 I MUST THINK OF A DIFFERENT NAME . $
IT COULD BE A GIRL . $
04 HAD I BEEN BORN A LITTLE BOY CHILD I WOULD HAVE BEEN A HA
RRY . $
IT 'S THE ONLY DRAWBACK I HAVE . $
WHEN I SHALL BE ASKED AT THE LAST JUDGEMENT TO REPENT , TO O
WN UP TO THE ONE BAD THING IN ALL MY LIFE AND TAKE IT BACK ,
 THAT ONE BIG REGRET WOULD BE THAT I HAD ONLY BEEN JUST A LI
TTLE GIRL FROM BIRTH AND NOT JUST A LITTLE BOY AS WELL . $
03 WHAT HAVE YOU GOT YOUR COAT ON FOR ? $
01 I 'M GOING SHOPPING . $
YOU STAY HERE . $
I WON'T BE LONG . $
IF YOU GO BEFORE I GET BACK JUST DROP THE LATCH ON THE DOOR
. $
03 I EXPECT I 'LL STILL BE HERE , IF THAT 'S ALL RIGHT WITH
YOU . $
IT 'S SATURDAY . $
01 AS YOU LIKE . $
ALVIN ... ? $
03 WHAT ? $
01 WHAT 'S YOUR FAVOURITE NAME ? $
03 I HAVEN'T GOT ONE . $
01 YOU MUST HAVE . $
03 NO . $
01 SUPPOSING YOU GOT MARRIED AND YOUR WIFE HAD CHILDREN . $
YOU 'D HAVE TO CHOOSE NAMES FOR THEM . $
03 I 'D LEAVE IT TO HER . $
01 SUPPOSING SHE DIDN'T HAVE ANY FAVOURITE NAMES EITHER ? $
03 WELL ... THEY CALL CHILDREN AFTER YOUR RELATIONS DON'T TH
EY ? $
01 WHY WERE YOU CALLED ALVIN ? $
03 MY DAD WANTED ME TO BE SENSITIVE . $
01 HE OVERDID IT . $
04 HE 'S TOO SENSITIVE TO WIPE HIS OWN ARSE . $
01 WHAT WAS YOUR FATHER CALLED ? $
03 DEREK . $
01 SUPPOSE YOU HAD A DAUGHTER . $
03 I 'VE GOT AN AUNT EDNA . $
01 I 'VE GOT AN AUNT MILLY . $
04 YOU 'LL NOT HAVE A GIRL . $
01 I MIGHT HAVE ONE OF EACH . $
04 IF YOU 'RE GOING OFF OUT SHOPPING , COME ON . $
#69 $
01 I SHAN'T BE LONG . $
01 MRS. HANKER . $
04 YES , LOVE ? $
01 THERE ARE MANY GREAT MEN WHOSE NAMES BEGIN WITH H . $
04 SUCH AS CUTHBERT . $
01 HECTOR . $
04 HUMPHREY . $
01 HADRIAN . $
04 HORACE . $
01 HORATIO . $
04 HERBERT . $
01 HYPOLITUS . $
04 HENRY . $
01 AND - HARRY . $
04 I THOUGHT YOU 'D COME ROUND . $
03 HOW SHOULD I KNOW WHAT TO CALL BABIES ? $
I WONDER WHY SHE ASKED FOR ? $
PERHAPS SHE 'S HAVING ONE . $
PERHAPS SHE 'S HAVING MINE THEN . $
I DID TRY , BRIEFLY . $
04 WHAT TIME DO YOU CALL THIS ? $
03 SATURDAY MORNING . $
04 WHERE 'VE YOU BEEN ? $
03 STROGGEN HILL . $
04 MISS BOWERS . $
03 BYEWAYS , YES . $
04 YOU SLEPT THERE . $
03 YES . $
04 COMING ON AREN'T YOU ? $
03 NOT REALLY . $
04 IT 'S ABOUT TIME MIND YOU . $
03 SHE 'S GOING TO HAVE A BABY . $
04 CONGRATULATIONS . $
WHEN 'S THE HAPPY DAY ? $
03 A LONG TIME I 'D SAY . $
SIX MONTHS ABOUT OR ELSE WHEN SHE STARTS TO GET BIG ENOUGH Y
OU KNOW , AROUND THE PROPER TIME . $
04 I DIDN'T MEAN WHEN IS SHE HAVING HER HAPPY DAY DELIVERING
 . $
IF I HAD I 'D HAVE SAID WHEN 'S THE HAPPY EVENT . $
WHAT I MEANT WAS WHEN DO YOU COME OUT OF THE CATHEDRAL AS ON
E FLESH ? $
I MUST KNOW , I HAVE TO BUY THE RICE TO PELT YOU WITH LIKE C
ONFETTI . $
03 OH . $
WELL THAT 'S THE THING . $
SHE DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY ME . $
04 SHE WHAT ! $
03 THAT 'S IT . $
THAT 'S THE THING . $
04 SHE WON'T ' NOT MARRY ' YOU . $
OVER MY DEAD BODY SHE WON'T . $
SHE 'LL MAKE A RESPECTABLE MARRIED MAN OF YOU OR I 'LL SUE H
ER ON YOUR BEHALF FOR BREACH OF PRE-MARITAL RELATIONS . $
SHE GOT HERSELF INTO TROUBLE THANKS TO YOU , SHE MUST PAY TH
E CONSEQUENCES AND MAKE IT LEGAL . $
A WIFE ONLY OWNS HALF IN THE EYES OF THE LAW YOU KNOW AND TH
E HUSBAND GETS THE OTHER HALF . $
THINK OF YOUR GOOD NAME . $
03 ALVIN 'S A BAD NAME TO START WITH . $
04 IT 'LL BE WORSE IF SHE DOESN'T MARRY YOU . $
MINE TOO . $
YOUR BAD NAME 'LL DRAG MINE DOWN WITH IT . $
IVY DIRT AND ALVIN MUD IT 'LL BE . $
I 'M NOT HAVING A BASTARD FOR A GRANDCHILD , WHAT WOULD MRS.
 RAISTRICK BE ABLE TO SAY ... ? $
NO FEAR . $
YOU KEPT YOUR SIDE OF THE BARGAIN GETTING HER IN THE FAMILY
WAY , NOW IT 'S UP TO HER TO DO THE RIGHT THING BY YOU . $
YOUR CHANCES ARE RUINED IF SHE DOESN'T . $
YOU 'LL BE LOOKED DOWN ON AS SECOND HAND GOODS , ANOTHER WOM
AN 'S CAST OFF . $
NO GIRL 'LL MARRY A CHAP WHO 'S BEEN IN TROUBLE . $
YOU 'LL NEVER HOLD YOUR HEAD UP AGAIN . $
03 YOU ENCOURAGED ME . $
04 I NEVER SAID BE CARELESS . $
03 I SHAN'T DO IT WITH ANYONE ELSE EVER . $
04 THAT 'S A GOOD LAD . $
LOYAL AND FAITHFUL TO YOUR HEART'S DESIRE , LIKE YOUR MOTHER
 WOULD BE GIVEN HALF THE CHANCE . $
03 YOU MAKE SURE YOU 'RE NOT . $
04 IT 'S ONLY ' COS THE LODGERS DON'T STAY THAT I 'M OBLIGED
 TO CHANGE HORSES IN MID-STREAM . $
03 YOU SEE THEY 'RE NOT LONG BETWEEN THE SHAFTS . $
04 DON'T . $
I 'LL NOT BE CRITICIZED FOR AVOIDING MONOTONY . $
A MOTHER 'S ALWAYS RIGHT . $
03 WHY DON'T YOU GO UP AND SEE MISS BOWERS FOR ME ? $
TELL HER SHE 'S GOT TO MARRY ME . $
OH . $
BUT YOU CAN'T TELL HER SHE 'S GOING TO HAVE A BABY . $
SHE DOESN'T KNOW YET . $
I MADE IT UP . $
04 HOW CAN I BLACKMAIL HER THEN ? $
03 I 'VE NEVER KNOWN YOU STUCK FOR AN ARGUMENT . $
04 FLATTERER . $
WHY DON'T YOU TELL HER TO MARRY YOU . $
03 SHE 'D LAUGH AND SAY NO STRAIGHT AWAY . $
04 YOU MEAN TO STAND THERE IN YOUR PYJAMAS AND TELL ME YOU H
AVEN'T PROPOSED YET ? $
03 I DAREN'T . $
04 WHAT 'S TO BE AFRAID OF ? $
03 SHE MIGHT SAYS SHE WOULD . $
04 YOU 'D BE DAFT NOT TO MARRY HER . $
SHE 'S NOT WITHOUT A BIT IN THE BANK I DARESAY AND THAT BUNG
ALOW MUST BE WORTH A THREE THOUSAND POUNG MORTGAGE . $
YOU COULD SELL OFF THE GARDEN AS A COUPLE OF PLOTS AND MAKE
A FORTUNE . $
PUT YOUR HEART WHERE THE MONEY IS . $
03 BUT SHE DOESN'T WANT IT . $
04 EVERY WOMAN WANTS IT . $
IT 'S UP TO THE MAN TO MAKE THEM WANT IT . $
PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN . $
03 I HAVE DONE . $
04 AND ? $
03 SHE TELLS ME TO GO HOME . $
04 WELL IF YOU WILL DO IT IN YOUR STOCKING FEET OF COURSE SH
E 'LL REFUSE YOU . $
BUY A PAIR OF CLOGS OR A CLUB BOOT TO EMPHASIZE YOUR POINT .
 $
MAKE HER JUMP WHEN YOU BRING IT DOWN . $
NO WOMAN EVER RESISTED AN INSISTING MAN EVENTUALLY . $
03 BUT MOTHER - $
PLEASE - $
LISTEN PLEASE - $
TRY AND HELP ME ... $
04 YES , LOVE . $
03 YOU SEE , IF I 'M LIKE YOU SAY AND BANG MY FOOT DOWN AND
HAVE MY WAY . $
I 'LL HAVE TO IGNORE HER FEELINGS . $
04 THAT 'S RIGHT . $
03 I 'LL HAVE TO HURT HER . $
04 YES . $
03 SHE MIGHT CRY . $
04 HIT HER . $
03 SHE MIGHT LAUGH AT ME . $
04 HIT HER HARDER . $
03 SHE MIGHT HIT ME BACK . $
04 HIT HER TILL SHE BLEEDS . $
03 YOU MEAN HURT HER ? $
04 RIGHT . $
03 ... IT SEEMS WRONG . $
04 IF THINGS WEREN'T LIKE THAT YOU 'D NEVER GET ANYWHERE . $
AND YOU MUST . $
A MAN MUST GET ON IN LIFE . $
EVOLUTION SAYS SO . $
HE MUST RISE UP AND OVERCOME WITH DELIBERATE MALICE . $
STAND ASTRIDE ON HIS MIGHTY FEET AND BASH HIS WAY INTO THE G
ATES OF PARADISE , REVENGING HIMSELF FOR HIS PREDICAMENT ON
ALL THE OBSTACLES THAT BLOCK HIS WAY . $
03 EVEN IF HE 'S WOUNDED AND BLEEDING ? $
04 EVEN IF HE 'S CRIPPLED AND DYING . $
03 EVEN IF HE CRIES ? $
04 MEN'S TEARS ARE SALTY . $
03 WHAT IF HE DOESN'T WANT TO ? $
04 ANY MAN WORTH HIS SALT CAN'T NOT WANT TO . $
03 I 'D LIKE TO BE SALT WORTHY BUT I DON'T WANT TO CAUSE PAI
N . $
04 YOU WON'T SEE OR FEEL IT IF YOU BASH ON SELFISHLY REGARDL
ESS . $
03 I DON'T WANT TO GET HURT . $
04 HOW CAN GLORY HURT YOU ? $
03 WELL - YOU KNOW I 'M NOT CIRCUMCIZED . $
04 SO WHAT ? $
03 IT HURTS ME WHEN THE SKIN 'S PULLED BACK . $
04 YOU 'RE SUPPOSED TO ENJOY THAT . $
03 I DON'T THOUGH . $
04 THAT 'S THE MYSTERY OF LIFE REARING ITS UGLY HEAD , UNITI
NG ALL THE UNIVERSE IN SPECTACULAR SENSATION . $
03 I DON'T LIKE PAIN . $
04 YOU 'VE GOT TO GET USED TO PAIN , LOVE . $
YOU 'LL NEVER BE A MAN IF YOU DON'T STOP WINCING . $
GRIT YOUR TEETH AND ESTABLISH YOURSELF . $
03 BUT WHY MUST I HAVE TO BE FORCED AGAINST MYSELF ? $
04 NATURE DOES IT WITH ALL LIVING THINGS . $
MOST PEOPLE DON'T HAVE THIS TROUBLE YOU KNOW . $
THEY JUST PRETEND THEY 'RE IN LOVE AND IMAGINE THEY 'RE USIN
G THEIR INSTINCTS TO ACHIEVE THEIR OWN ENDS . $
THEY TELL THEMSELVES IT 'S JUST HUMAN NATURE AND GET ROUND T
HE INEXPLICABLE THAT WAY . $
CAN'T YOU PRETEND YOU 'RE IN LOVE , LOVE ? $
03 YOU MEAN HOODWINK MYSELF INTO TAKING BEING HURT FOR GRANT
ED , AS THOUGH PAIN WAS NATURAL . $
#70 $
04 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN - PAIN . $
JUST ENJOY IT , RELISH IT . $
03 IT 'S NOT ENOUGH . $
I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT IT 'S ALL FOR . $
04 YOU 'RE NEVER SATISFIED . $
03 NO I 'M NOT , THAT 'S RIGHT ENOUGH . $
04 YOU KNOW I WANT YOUR SATISFACTION AS WELL AS ANYBODY'S .
$
03 THEY SHOULD GIVE YOU LESSONS AT SCHOOL . $
WHAT TO DO AND HOW TO BE . $
BOYS AND GIRLS . $
04 IF THEY DID I MIGHT GET A JOB DEMONSTRATING WITH THE HEAD
MASTER . $
I SHOULD QUALIFY AS HEADMISTRESS . $
03 YOU WOULDN'T LIKE OUR HEADMASTER . $
04 SO LONG AS I GOT PAID . $
03 I TRIED TO LEARN BY WATCHING YOU AT IT THROUGH THE KEYHOL
E . $
I NEVER LEARNT A THING . $
04 ARE YOU INSINUATING I PUT UP A BAD SHOW ? $
03 I NEVER SAW DETAILS SO I COULDN'T SAY . $
04 I GUARANTEE ONE GOOD DEKKO WOULD HAVE OPENED YOUR EYES .
$
03 IT 'S EASY FOR WOMEN , THEY JUST HAVE TO NOT DO ANYTHING
. $
IT 'S ALWAYS THE MAN FIRST . $
04 I 'LL GLADLY VOLUNTEER FOR YOU . $
HOW ABOUT IF I SET AN EXAMPLE NOW ? $
I 'LL BE YOUR GUINEA PIG , EH ? $
SUBSTITUTE ME FOR THE REAL THING AND I 'LL OBSERVE AND TELL
YOU WHERE YOU GO WRONG . $
03 HOW DO YOU MEAN ? $
04 PROPOSE TO ME IN HER ABSENCE AS THOUGH SHE 'S HERE IN MY
PLACE . $
I AM THUMBING MY WAY THROUGH THIS MAGAZINE WHEN YOU DECIDE .
 $
GO ON . $
DECIDE . $
03 I HAVE A PROPOSAL TO MAKE . $
04 NO WONDER YOU 'RE REJECTED . $
03 WHY ? $
04 YOU MAKE YOURSELF LOOK OBSOLETE . $
03 WHERE DO I GO WRONG ? $
04 THEY DON'T KNEEL DOWN TO IT THESE DAYS . $
THAT WENT OUT WITH THE BIBLE . $
03 HOW DID MY DAD DO IT TO YOU ? $
04 HE DIDN'T . $
I DID . $
' YOU 'RE LOOKING AT THE FUTURE MRS. HANKER , ' I SAID . $
03 ' YOU 'RE LOOKING AT THE FUTURE MRS. HANKER . ' $
04 YOU CAN'T SAY IT . $
SHE 'S THE CANDIDATE FOR NAME CHANGING , NOT YOU . $
03 HOW WOULD YOU DO IT ? $
04 I 'D FRAME MYSELF . $
03 SHOW ME . $
GO ON . $
YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT IT . $
GIVE ME A LESSON . $
I KNOW HOW TO BE HER . $
I 'M THUMBING MY WAY THROUGH THIS MAGAZINE LIKE A GUINEA PIG
 WHEN YOU COME UP TO ME WITH A DECISION . $
04 ANNA ... $
03 WHAT ? $
04 LOOK AT ME . $
03 I 'M READING . $
04 I ASKED YOU TO LOOK AT ME . $
03 I 'D RATHER NOT . $
04 LOOK INTO MY EYES . $
DON'T LAUGH TILL I 'VE FINISHED WHAT I HAVE TO SAY . $
03 I CAN'T HIT HER . $
04 WE 'RE GETING MARRIED . $
03 SHE 'LL SAY NO . $
04 I SAID WE 'RE GETTING MARRIED . $
03 ONCE I 'M MARRIED I 'LL NEVER BE ANYTHING ELSE . $
04 YOU 'RE GOING TO BE MARRIED . $
03 SHE WON'T . $
04 I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU . $
03 I CAN THOUGH . $
04 YOU KNOW I 'M LYING BUT YOU 'LL BELIEVE ME BECAUSE I 'M P
ERSUADING YOU BY LOOKING INTO YOUR EYES AND SHOWING YOU THE
DESIRE THAT ONLY YOU CAN SATISFY . $
THE PASSION YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO MISS , THIS WEEK 'S SPECIAL
02 MY SISTER
03 SHE 'LL LOOK AWAY . $
04 I 'M TAKING YOU IN HAND . $
03 I 'VE TRIED . $
04 BENDING YOU TO MY WILL . $
03 I CAN'T SAY THAT . $
04 I 'M DETERMINED . $
03 SO 'S SHE . $
04 FROM WHENCE COMETH MY STRENGTH ? $
MY STRENGTH COMETH FROM YOU AND I 'M GIVING IT BACK TO YOU .
 $
03 AW MAM . $
04 I 'M FEEDING YOU WITH MY HUNGER AND THIRST . $
03 DON'T , MAM . $
04 YOU 'LL BE HUNGRY AND THIRSTY AND MY KISSES ALONE WILL QU
ENCH YOUR APPETITE . $
YOU 'RE FAMISHED , PARCHED AND DRY . $
YOU 'RE TREMBLING ON THE BRINK OF COLLAPSE ... $
THERE YOU ARE YOU SEE . $
JUST DOMINATE , IT 'S EASY IF YOU PERSEVERE . $
03 SHE WON'T AGREE TO ANY OF THAT . $
04 YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T GOT MY MAGNETISM . $
03 YOU 'LL HAVE TO SEE HER YOURSELF THEN . $
04 VERY WELL . $
STAND ASIDE , BEHIND ME . $
01 WHAT DO YOU WANT ? $
03 I 'VE TOLD MY MOTHER ABOUT YOU . $
04 I EXPECT YOU KNOW WHY I 'M HERE . $
01 TO FIGHT FOR YOUR SON . $
HE CAN'T FEND FOR HIMSELF . $
04 BECAUSE YOU 'VE TRIFLED WITH HIS AFFECTIONS . $
01 I 'M THE ONE WHO 'S BEEN TRIFLED WITH . $
04 LISTEN YOU , I 'M HERE TO ASK FOR MY SON'S HAND IN MARRIA
GE . $
01 HE KNOWS I WON'T ACCEPT . $
04 IF YOU REFUSE ONCE MORE I SHALL EJACULATE . $
01 I 'D BETTER GIVE MY CONSENT THEN . $
04 WHEN 'S IT TO BE ? $
01 THREE WEEKS FROM TODAY AT THE REGISTRY OFFICE . $
04 I THOUGHT YOU 'D BE AGAINST THE MATCH ? $
01 NOT AT ALL . $
I 'M THRILLED TO BITS . $
YOU 'LL BE VERY GOOD FOR EACH OTHER . $
JUST WHAT HE NEEDS , A MOTHER TO LOOK AFTER HIM . $
EXCUSE ME NOW WON'T YOU . $
I HAVE TO THUMB THROUGH THIS MAGAZINE . $
03 NOW LOOK WHAT YOU 'VE DONE . $
04 I THOUGHT SHE AGREED IN A HURRY . $
03 I TOLD YOU IT WAS NO USE . $
04 NEVER MIND . $
IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T WIN TRY AGAIN . $
YOU STAY HERE , I 'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO A SECOND TIME ON MY
OWN . $
DON'T GO AWAY . $
03 DON'T COME BACK . $
SHE 'S USELESS . $
YOU COULD TEACH ME . $
I HAVE CONFIDENCE IN YOU . $
YOU LOOK IT , SMILING AT THE CAMERA , UNBLINKING IN THE SUN
. $
IF I COULD WATCH YOU , GO ABOUT WITH YOU , MAYBE JOIN YOUR S
HIP , GO TO SEA WITH YOU . $
I COULD LEARN ABROAD WHERE NOBODY SPEAKS THE LANGUAGE , THEN
 I WOULDN'T SAY THE WRONG THINGS . $
I 'LL HAVE TO GET YOU ALONE AND ASK YOU . $
MAKE UP SOME LIES AND FIND OUT HOW TO GET WITH YOU . $
I 'LL HAVE TO BE QUICK ABOUT IT . $
07 ' WILL THE TRAIN NOW STANDING IN PLATFORM TWO PLEASE GO T
O THE STATIONMASTER'S OFFICE WHERE A LOST LITTLE BOY WILL BE
 FOUND WAITING FOR IT . ' $
03 EXCUSE ME . $
AREN'T YOU MAURICE BOWERS ? $
02 HELLO . $
YES , I AM . $
03 HELLO . $
02 HOW DID YOU KNOW ? $
03 I 'M ALVIN HANKER . $
02 OH , I SEE . $
03 I KNOW YOUR SISTER . $
SHE GAVE ME THIS PICTURE . $
DON'T WALK . $
02 I 'M TRYING TO GET AWAY FROM YOU . $
03 YOU CAN'T - I COLLECT THE STAMPS YOU STICK ON YOUR LETTER
S . $
YOU KNOW ABOUT ME . $
02 OF COURSE I DO . $
03 I WAS JUST ENQUIRING ABOUT THE TIMES OF SOME TRAINS , WHE
N THEY LEAVE AND ARRIVE AND AS I SAW YOU I THOUGHT YOU LOOKE
D LIKE YOUR PHOTOGRAPH . $
I ALWAYS HAPPEN TO HAVE THIS COPY WITH ME . $
02 IT 'S NOT VERY LIKE ME . $
03 THAT 'S BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW YOU IN THE FLESH . $
02 THAT 'S WHY YOU CAME TO MEET ME ISN'T ? $
#71 $
03 YES I DID . $
I CAME TO RECOGNISE YOU AND TRIED TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN AC
CIDENT . $
02 WHY DIDN'T ANNA COME ? $
03 I HAD TO SEE YOU ALONE , I 'VE WANTED TO FOR A LONG TIME
. $
02 IS ANNA ALL RIGHT ? $
03 I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOME THINGS . $
02 I HALF EXPECTED HER TO MEET ME . $
03 MAURICE BOWERS - ! $
02 WHAT ? $
03 I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT MY SEX . $
I HAVE TO FIND OUT . $
YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME . $
02 ON THE PLATFORM ? $
03 IN PRIVATE . $
02 YOU 'RE TOO YOUNG . $
03 THANK YOU FOR THE STAMPS . $
02 MY SISTER 'S WAITING FOR ME . $
03 YOU 'RE TOO EARLY . $
COME WITH ME TO MY HOUSE , IT 'S VERY NEAR . $
MY MOTHER 'S THERE BUT SHE 'LL COOK YOU SOMETHING - AND THER
E 'S MY ROOM . $
WE CAN GO INTO MY ROOM AND I CAN TALK AND ASK AND LISTEN AND
 WATCH THE ANSWERS YOU SHOW ME IF YOU LIKE - AND LATER - IF
YOU LIKE - WE CAN GO TO THE PICTURES , A MUSICAL FILM , AND
THEN , IF YOU LIKE , WE COULD GO TO A PUBLIC HOUSE . $
I KNOW YOU LIKE BEER , AND THEN , IF YOU LIKE , I 'LL TAKE Y
OU UP TO BYEWAYS . $
TO STROGGEN HILL ROAD WHERE YOUR SISTER LIVES . $
02 ALL RIGHT . $
03 YOU 'LL LIKE MY MOTHER . $
02 HOW OLD IS SHE ? $
03 OH - BETWEEN ABOUT FORTY THREE AND SIXTY SOME . $
02 HOW OLD ARE YOU ? $
03 I VARY . $
02 SIXTEEN ? $
03 OH NO , I 'M A LOT OLDER THAN THAT BEFORE I START TO VARY
 . $
02 HOW OLD ? $
03 I 'M ABOUT TWENTY FOUR , OR FIVE . $
02 I THOUGHT YOU WERE . $
03 WHY DID YOU SAY SIXTEEN THEN ? $
02 TO MAKE YOU BLUSH . $
03 I DIDN'T THOUGH . $
02 YOU ARE NOW . $
03 I 'M HOT . $
I 'M SORRY . $
ALL THESE FIRES ARE LIT TO WARM THE HOUSE FOR WHEN YOU GET H
ERE . $
02 IT 'S CHARMING . $
NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE . $
I LIKE IT . $
03 I 'M NOT HOT . $
I DO BLUSH ABOUT MY AGE LEVEL . $
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT LIFE , THAT 'S WHY , ESPECIALL
Y SEX - LIFE . $
I KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT WILD LIFE AND PLANT LIFE AT DIFFEREN
T STAGES - BUT NOT MY LIFE AT ANY TIME . $
THAT 'S WHY I OFTEN GO PINK A LOT QUITE EASILY . $
04 OH MY GOD ... $
03 WHAT IS IT NOW ? $
04 SPARE MY BLUSHES ... $
03 YOU 'D BETTER PUT YOUR RAINCOAT ON . $
04 WHO IS IT ? $
03 MISS BOWERS' BROTHER , MAURICE . $
04 TRAVELLING LIGHT ISN'T HE ? $
03 HE 'S JUST GOT HERE FROM SPAIN . $
04 OH - VERY NICE . $
VERY HOT WAS IT ? $
02 SWELTERING . $
04 REALLY - VERY NICE . $
I 'M GLAD YOU 'VE BROUGHT YOUR MAC , YOU 'LL NEED IT HERE .
$
03 HE 'S JUST COME UP FROM SOUTHAMPTON . $
04 OH YES . $
03 I MET THE TRAIN . $
04 OH . $
VERY GOOD , YES . $
I HAD ONE OF MY DIZZY HOT FLUSHES WHEN I SAW YOU BUT I 'VE G
OT THE BETTER OF IT NOW - FOR THE MOMENT ANYHOW . $
BUILT LIKE A PRISON WALL , ISN'T HE . $
03 THIS IS MY MOTHER . $
04 HOW DO YOU DO MISTER BOWERS . $
I 'M MRS. HANKER . $
MY HUSBAND 'S DEAD . $
02 PLEASED TO MEET YOU . $
04 IT 'S IVY HANKER . $
03 THE CLINGING SORT . $
04 I WAS JUST SAYING TO MY SON HERE , HOW MUCH YOU RESEMBLE
A PRISON WALL . $
IT 'S NO WONDER WE JAIL BIRDS ARE DREAMERS , FOREVER PLANNIN
G TO ESCAPE . $
SOLITARILY CONFINED AS WE ARE , SENTENCED TO LIFE IMPRISONME
NT , EACH IN OUR OWN LITTLE CELLS , IS IT SMALL WONDER WE TR
Y TO BREAK LOOSE ? $
MANY 'S THE TIME I 'VE KNOTTED MY SHEETS TOGETHER IN THE EAR
LY HOURS OF THE MORNING WHEN THE GUARDS ARE ASLEEP AND CREPT
 OUT INTO THE PRISON YARD . $
THERE I 'VE STOOD AT YOUR FEET , LOOKING UP AT YOUR LOFTY GR
ANITE FRONT . $
MANY A TIME I 'VE CLIMBED TO THE TOP IN A BID FOR FREEDOM ,
ONLY TO FIND AS I SIT ASTRIDE THE SPIKES , THERE 'S NOUGHT B
UT A SHEER DROP EITHER WAY , BACK INTO NOTHING . $
A RIGHT LET DOWN AS YOU MIGHT SAY . $
STILL , YOU CAN'T BLAME US FOR NOT TRYING , YOU 'VE GOT TO A
DMIRE OUR PLUCK . $
ONE DAY WE 'LL GET AWAY AND BE FREE . $
WE 'LL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT . $
03 COULD YOU MAKE SOME HAM AND EGGS PLEASE . $
04 YOU CAN'T BE HUNGRY . $
03 HE HASN'T EATEN ON THE JOURNEY . $
04 YOU MUST BE READY FOR BED , I BET . $
03 HE 'S COMING INTO MY ROOM WITH ME . $
04 SLEEP'S ESSENTIAL . $
03 DID YOU SEE HER WIPE HER HANDS ON HER APRON ... ? $
04 I 'LL CALL YOU WHEN IT 'S READY . $
03 WE 'RE GOING TO TALK HEART TO HEART IN MY ROOM . $
04 I 'LL BE IN TO JOIN YOU DIRECTLY . $
03 WE WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE . $
04 SPEAK FOR YOURSELF . $
IF MISTER BOWERS' NOT AVERSE TO MY HAM AND EGGS HE MIGHT LIK
E A BIT OF MY COMPANY . $
02 NOT JUST NOW THANK YOU . $
I 'D RATHER BE LEFT ALONE WITH YOUR SON . $
04 HE 'S A PROBLEM CHILD . $
03 SHE 'S A BIG NUISANCE . $
04 I 'M A GOOD COOK THOUGH . $
03 THANK YOU , I 'M FULL OF PROBLEMS . $
02 DON'T BREAK YOUR HEART . $
WHAT 'S THE MOST DIFFICULT TROUBLE ? $
IN WORDS OF ONE SYLLABLE . $
03 YES . $
WELL . $
THAT 'S IT . $
THERE IS ONE . $
I MUST TELL YOU - $
02 IN MONOSYLLABLES . $
03 YES . $
PLAIN AND ONE AT A TIME . $
ONE WORD ON ITS OWN SAID ONE IN FRONT OF THE NEXT , QUITE CL
EAR LIKE STEPS IN THE SNOW , THEN YOU 'LL SEE THEM AND THE W
AY I 'VE GONE AND NOT LOSE ME . $
02 GOOD . $
03 THE PLAIN THING THEN IS THIS . $
I LIKE HER . $
SHE LIKES YOU . $
I 'M NOT GOOD AT IT . $
YOU ARE . $
I DON'T STAY IN HER MIND LIKE YOU CAN . $
SO YOU SEE ? $
WHERE DO I GO WRONG ? $
BOYS I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH DON'T . $
YOU DON'T . $
BUT I CAN'T . $
I GET HARDS ON FOR HER . $
THEY 'RE A MAIN PART AND SOME USE BUT NOT ALL . $
I TAKE HARDS ON IN MY STRIDE AS A MUST , JUST AS THEY COME .
$
LIFE HAS ITS OWN WAYS AND THEY 'RE NOT FOR ME TO GUESS AT .
$
BUT WHEN IT BOILS DOWN TO THE BLOOD STREAM AS THE ONE THING
IN CHARGE OF YOU AND WHAT YOU ARE AND DO , I FEEL I CAN'T LE
T IT BE THAT ONE THING . $
THAT 'S THE THING YOU SEE . $
SO WHERE DO I GO WRONG ? $
THOUGH I KNOW MY BLOOD 'S IN CHARGE AND SEE THERE 'S NO WAY
ROUND THAT , I STILL DON'T THINK SO , I HAVE THESE GRAVE DOU
BTS . $
AS I 'M NOT IN CHARGE , I 'M NOT FREE TO FEEL FREE . $
NOR IS SHE . $
I DON'T HAVE FAITH IN THE URGE LIKE YOU OR MY MAM , SO I MUS
T LIVE ON MY OWN , AT A LOSS WHAT TO DO . $
I KNOW I SHOULD WANT TO MAKE HER LET ME MAKE HER WANT ME . $
ALL MEN DO . $
AND THAT 'S ALL I WOULD ASK , TO BE THE SAME AS THEM . $
IF I WERE HER I 'D KNOW I 'D HAVE TO WANT TO THINK I WAS FOR
CED TO TAKE THINGS THE WAY THEY WERE , THOUGH I MIGHT NOT WA
NT TO , FOR HIS SAKE . $
I 'D KNOW THAT WHAT I FELT HAD NOT MUCH TO DO WITH IT IN THE
 LONG RUN BUT THAT WHAT HE FELT DID AND THAT I HAD TO GIVE I
N TO THAT AND HIM , THOUGH I MIGHT NOT LIKE HIM ALL THAT MUC
H , OR HE ME , THAT THAT WAS THE LAW LAID DOWN FROM BIRTH AT
 THE START IN FACT . $
BUT , IN FACT , WHEN IT COMES TO THE POINT WITH ME , WHEN I
HAVE TO TAKE THINGS IN HAND , THEN I STOP ... I DON'T WANT T
O GO ON . $
I CAN'T WANT TO . $
IT SEEMS WRONG TO WANT TO GO ON AND YET JUST AS WRONG TO STO
P 'COS I KNOW A MAN SHOULD PRESS ON . $
I SEE THAT . $
SO WHERE DO I GO WRONG ? $
I 'VE GOT TO LEARN TO CAUSE PAIN AND NOT STOP AND NOT CARE O
R I 'LL BE TOO LATE . $
I 'LL NOT KNOW WHAT IT 'S LIKE TO BE IN TOUCH WITH THE HEART
 BEAT , THE PULSE AND THE BLOOD STREAM THAT MAKE UP THE RULE
S FOR GIVE AND THE LAWS OF TAKE . $
TEACH ME . $
ONCE I KNOW , I CAN'T GO WRONG . $
I 'LL FORCE HER TILL THE PAIN GIVES WAY , AND TURN A BLIND E
YE . $
I 'LL LEAVE IT AT THAT . $
THAT WILL BE ALL . $
SHOULD IT BE ? $
THE GIRL , HURT AND PUT IN CHARGE OF HER NEEDS BY MINE , THE
 MAN , MALE , AND LOST FOR HER TO THE END , GRIPPED IN THE V
ICE OF HIS OWN ERECTION ? $
02 I CAN'T ANSWER FOR HER . $
03 I 'LL FAKE HER IF YOU SHOW ME . $
02 DRAW THE CURTAINS . $
03 I CAN'T SEE TO TAKE NOTES IN THE DARK BUT GO SLOW IN STAG
ES FOR ME TO REMEMBER AND I 'LL WRITE IT DOWN AFTER . $
NOW - I WANT TO KNOW ... $
#72 $
WHEN TO UNDRESS , WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY BEFOREHAND AND WHETHE
R I SHOULD UNDRESS FIRST OR SECOND AND SHOULD I LEAVE THE LI
GHT ON IF IT 'S DARK OR PUT IT ON IF IT 'S OFF AND LEAVE IT
OR SWITCH IT OUT LATER ON AND IF SO WHEN ? $
SHOULD I TAKE HER CLOTHES OFF AND IF YES , HOW ARE THEY USUA
LLY FASTENED AND WHERE AND IF NO HOW SHOULD I WAIT TILL SHE
HAS ? $
SHOULD I SIT DOWN ON THE BED OR STAND UP AND WAIT TILL SHE '
S READY , AND , MEANWHILE , IS IT ALL RIGHT TO WATCH ? $
SHOULD I HANG THEM UP OR FOLD THEM WITH MINE AND HOW MANY TI
MES DO YOU KISS AND HOW LONG OUGHT THEY TO LAST AND CAN I CL
OSE MY EYES AND IF I DO , WHY ? $
IF SHE CLOSES HERS WHAT DOES IT MEAN ? $
WHAT IS SHE THINKING ? $
SHOULD I ASK HER ? $
WHAT DO YOU SAY AND ASK IN BETWEEN AND DURING . $
HOW DO YOU KNOW SHE 'LL LIKE IT IF YOU PUT YOUR TONGUE IN HE
R MOUTH AND WHAT CAN YOU DO IF SHE DOESN'T . $
HOW LONG SHOULD YOU LEAVE IT THERE IF SHE DOES ? $
WHAT 'S THE AVERAGE LENGTH OF TIME TO ALLOW FOR EVERYTHING A
S A RULE ? $
ARE YOU LISTENING ? $
02 YES - $
I 'M LISTENING . $
03 WHAT YOU DOING ? $
02 KEEP QUIET . $
STUDENTS LISTEN TO LEARN . $
DO AS I SAY . $
03 YES , ALL RIGHT . $
02 FIRST OF ALL . $
YOU DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT . $
IF YOU WANT THE GIRL - DON'T SAY SO , DON'T GIVE HER THE CHO
ICE TO SAY NO - OR YES . $
AND DON'T TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE . $
WORDS ARE BAD FOR THE BEGINNER , AT THE BEGINNING . $
NOW . $
I 'M NOT A BEGINNER , SO I CAN CHAT TO YOU . $
YOU 'RE SITTING THERE . $
YOU 'RE A NOVICE , LET 'S SAY YOU 'VE NEVER BEEN TO BED WITH
 A MAN BEFORE , AND YOU 'RE WONDERING WHAT IT 'S LIKE . $
YOU WANT TO . $
SHOULD YOU ? $
SHE 'S SITTING THERE , WHERE YOU ARE , AND YOU FEEL A WARMTH
 INSIDE , ABDOMINAL WARMTH . $
YOUR BLOOD FLOWS SLOW . $
YOU WAIT . $
YOU 'RE NERVOUS . $
YOUR HEART WON'T PUMP . $
AND ALL THE TIME YOU 'RE LISTENING TO ME TALKING TO HER AND
SHE KNOWS I 'M THE CAUSE , I 'M THE REASON YOU FEEL IN SUCH
DIFFICULT TROUBLE . $
LOOK AT HIM , YOU ARE , YOU SEE HE KNOWS YOU 'RE ADRIFT . $
YOU STAND UP - AND MY HAND ON HER SHOULDER PUTS YOU BACK WHE
RE YOU WERE . $
AND YOUR SHOULDER IS SMALL IN MY PALM , LIKE AN EMU'S EGG ,
AND SHE LETS HIM TOUCH YOUR THROAT - AND YOU FEEL - THEN - Y
OU FEEL HIS FINGERS AT THE SIDE OF YOUR MOUTH MOVE ALONG TO
YOUR EAR AND STAY THERE FOR A TIME . $
NOW HER EAR BURNS IN THE PALM OF MY HAND . $
HE LEANS OVER FROM BEHIND AND TAKES HOLD OF YOUR WRIST ; LIF
TING HER FINGERS TO HIS LIPS . $
YOU WANT TO PULL AWAY - YOU DO - AND AS YOUR FINGERS WERE AB
OUT TO SLIP BETWEEN HIS , HE TIGHTENED HIS HOLD AND TRAPPED
THEM . $
AND NOW , HE PULLS YOUR HAND TOWARDS HIM AND YOU HAVE TO STA
ND UP , THOUGH YOU PULL AWAY FROM HIM , YOU 'RE DRAWN CLOSER
 AND CLOSER AND THE CLOSER YOU ARE THE FURTHER YOU WANT TO B
E . $
SAY SOMETHING . $
SHE 'S GOING TO SAY SOMETHING . $
SHE LOOKS FOR A PHRASE , SOME WORDS THAT WILL COME BETWEEN U
S BUT BEFORE THEY ARE PUT TOGETHER AND AS YOU 'RE ABOUT TO S
EAK HE ... AND HOLDING YOUR HEAD BETWEEN HIS HANDS HE TAKES
CONTROL OF YOUR WEAKNESS AND ... $
03 YES - I SEE . $
THANK YOU . $
BUT WHAT DO YOU DO IF SHE PULLS AWAY AND LAUGHS AT YOU ? $
02 BUT YOU DIDN'T . $
03 NO . $
I DIDN'T . $
I KNOW . $
I 'M ONLY LEARNING THOUGH . $
ONE THING AT ONCE . $
DO IT AGAIN . $
I 'LL DO IT THIS TIME . $
IT 'S NOT FAIR . $
YOU 'RE STRONGER THAN ME . $
YOU 'D ALWAYS BE ABLE TO STOP ME PUSHING YOU OFF . $
02 YOUR WEAKNESS OVERPOWERS ME . $
I 'M FORCED TO GO ON . $
03 YES , I 'M VERY WEAK . $
I HAVE A VERY STRONG WEAK STREAK . $
THAT 'S WHY I CAN'T HURT PEOPLE PROPERLY . $
02 YOUR WEAK SIDE ALWAYS HOLDS YOU BACK . $
03 YES , IT DOES . $
YOU HAVEN'T GOT ONE . $
ANYONE CAN SEE YOU 'VE BEEN STRONG ENOUGH TO HURT PEOPLE SIN
CE YOUR VERY FIRST ORGASM . $
YOU KNEW STRAIGHT AWAY WHAT WAS EXPECTED OF YOU AND GREW UP
THAT WAY OVERNIGHT . $
I BET YOU WENT TO SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY AND HAD A STAB AT IT W
ITHOUT FLINCHING . $
PICKED A FIGHT RIGHT LEFT AND CENTRE , GIVING AND TAKING IT
AS GOOD AS YOU GOT . $
YOU MIGHT BE A MIDDLE WEIGHT OR A CENTRE FORWARD AT FIRST GL
ANCE . $
THERE 'S NO MISTAKING ME LIKE THAT . $
NOT EVEN IF I WEAR FOOTBALL BOOTS AND BOXING GLOVES . $
02 EVERYONE HAS THEIR WEAK SIDE . $
03 THE TROUBLE IS WITH MINE IT OVERPOWERS MY STRONG SIDE . $
PERHAPS YOU COULD TEACH ME HOW TO HURT PEOPLE WITHOUT FEELIN
G WEAK AND HATING MYSELF . $
I 'D ALWAYS FEEL STRONG IF I COULD DO THAT ONCE . $
I 'D GET ON IN LIFE LIKE I SHOULD . $
YES . $
JUST ONCE WOULD DO ME . $
02 ONE MORE TRY THEN . $
THE THIRD AND LAST . $
03 KISSING AGAIN ? $
02 WITH YOU PULLING AWAY AND LAUGHING AT ME . $
03 MAYBE . $
I 'LL TRY . $
02 I MIGHT CO-OPERATE A BIT MORE THIS TIME , HELP YOU A BIT
, LET YOU PUSH ME OFF . $
03 YEAH . $
ALL RIGHT . $
... I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS . $
DON'T LAUGH AT ME . $
PLEASE . $
THERE 'S NOTHING FOR YOU TO LAUGH AT . $
02 YOU STARTED ME OFF . $
03 I DON'T CARE . $
02 I WOULDN'T MIND GOING ON WITH IT EITHER . $
LET 'S FINISH IT OFF . $
IT 'S A GOOD GAME . $
COME ON . $
LET 'S GO INTO YOUR ROOM ... $
03 WHAT FOR ? $
02 I LIKE YOU . $
I FANCY YOU . $
COME ON . $
03 NO . $
02 PLEASE . $
COME ON . $
WE WON'T BE LONG . $
03 NO . $
LET GO . $
02 I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU - I LIKE A FELLAR NOW AND THEN , B
REAKS THE MONOTONY . $
03 YOU 'VE BEEN DRINKING . $
02 I NEVER HAVE SEX WITHOUT A DRINK OR TWO INSIDE ME FIRST .
$
ESPECIALLY IF I 'M GOING WITH A WOMAN . $
03 WHAT DO YOU MEAN ? $
02 WELL - DON'T TELL ANYONE , BUT JUST BETWEEN YOU AND ME ,
I PREFER FELLARS TO GIRLS . $
03 HOW CAN YOU ? $
02 THAT 'S MY LITTLE WEAKNESS . $
03 YOU MEAN ALL THE TIME I WAS PRETENDING TO BE A WOMAN YOU
WEREN'T IMAGINING I WAS ? $
02 NO . $
NOT IN SO MANY WORDS . $
03 HOW COULD YOU ? $
02 EASY . $
COME ON . $
I 'LL SHOW YOU . $
I 'LL STRAIGHTEN YOU OUT BEFORE ANNA GETS BACK . $
03 NO . $
GET OFF . $
02 COME ON . $
I 'LL FIX YOU UP . $
YOU 'LL LIKE IT . $
03 NO . $
ALVIN - PLEASE . $
COME ON RELAX - I WON'T HURT YOU , PROMISE - I REALLY LIKE Y
OU SEE , I WANT YOU - SMILE ... $
03 YOU FILTHY PIG . $
BASTARD . $
YOU DIRTY BASTARD . $
02 DON'T LAUGH . $
PLEASE . $
THERE 'S NOTHING TO LAUGH AT . $
YOU WERE THE ONE WHO STARTED IT - YOU WERE THE ONE ... $
04 HAM AND EGGS FOR ONE . $
WHAT 'S THIS ? $
03 YOU CAN TIP THAT IN THE DUSTBIN . $
04 WHAT FOR ? $
03 WE DON'T FEED PIGS IN THIS HOUSE . $
04 WHAT 'S HE DONE ? $
03 NEVER MIND . $
#73 $
04 WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO OUR ALVIN ? $
03 DON'T SPEAK TO HIM . $
04 WHAT DID YOU DO ? $
03 BELTED HIM ONCE OR TWICE . $
04 HIS NOSE IS BLEEDING . $
03 HE 'S BLOODY LUCKY THAT 'S ALL THAT IS . $
LOOK MISTER BOWERS , YOU 'RE IN A MINORITY HERE . $
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN . $
ALSO . $
YOU ARE NOT WANTED . $
SO CLEAR OFF BEFORE YOU GET HURT SOME MORE . $
YOU 'D BETTER TAKE HIM OR I 'LL PUT MY KNEE IN HIS GROIN . $
THE BACK WAY . $
DON'T FOUL UP THE FRONT . $
01 COME ON DEAR . $
03 MISTER BOWERS . $
04 COME ON MISTER BOWERS . $
YOU 'D BETTER DO AS HE SAYS . $
03 DON'T TOUCH HIM . $
YOU 'LL NEED A BATH IF YOU DO . $
04 THIS WAY . $
05 AH - GOOD MORNING . $
03 GOOD MORNING . $
05 DOCTOR FRANKLYN . $
03 OH YES . $
YOU 'D BETTER COME IN . $
05 THANK YOU . $
MISS BOWERS IS AT HOME I TAKE IT ? $
03 WELL - NO , SHE ISN'T , JUST AT THE MOMENT AS A MATTER OF
 FACT . $
05 OH - WELL THERE 'S NO POINT IN MY COMING IN THEN . $
03 SHE WON'T BE VERY LONG NOW I SHOULD THINK . $
SHE JUST WENT TO THE SHOPS . $
IF YOU 'D LIKE TO WAIT A FEW MINUTES ... $
05 OH NO . $
IF SHE 'S OUT AND ABOUT SHE MUST BE FEELING ALL RIGHT . $
03 HAS SHE BEEN ILL ? $
05 OH NO , NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY . $
03 SHE LOOKED ALL RIGHT WHEN I GOT UP . $
05 DID SHE ? $
I SEE . $
YES . $
WELL THEN , I 'LL BE OFF . $
03 SHE DIDN'T HAVE ANY BREAKFAST THOUGH . $
05 OH ... ? $
03 YES , THAT 'S RIGHT . $
SHE FELT SICK BECAUSE SHE FELT EXCITED . $
05 THAT 'S ONLY NATURAL . $
03 BECAUSE HER BROTHER 'S COMING TO SEE HER . $
05 OH GOOD . $
I 'M GLAD SHE 'S SEEING HER RELATIONS . $
03 SHALL I TELL HER TO COME AND SEE YOU ? $
05 NOT UNLESS SHE WANTS TO . $
03 DID SHE KNOW YOU WERE COMING TO SEE HER ? $
05 NO . $
I JUST HAPPENED TO BE VISITING ANOTHER PATIENT NOT FAR DOWN
THE ROAD . $
03 OH . $
05 ER ... I WONDER IF YOU COULD TELL ME WHAT TIME IT IS . $
MY WATCH IS PLAYING TRICKS . $
03 YES . $
IT 'S FIVE PAST ELEVEN . $
05 REALLY . $
03 I OVERSLEPT . $
EXCUSE ME . $
05 YOU HAD A LATE NIGHT I EXPECT . $
03 NOT ALL THAT LATE . $
I GOT HOT WITH THIS ON . $
05 DO YOU WEAR GLASSES BY THE WAY ? $
03 GLASSES ? $
05 TO READ PERHAPS ? $
03 NO , I 'VE NEVER WORN GLASSES . $
05 I ASK BECAUSE YOU SEEMED TO HAVE TO GO VERY CLOSE TO THE
CLOCK TO TELL THE TIME . $
03 OH . $
05 CAN YOU TELL THE TIME FROM HERE ? $
03 IT 'S FIVE PAST ELEVEN . $
05 BUT CAN YOU SEE THAT IT IS ? $
03 NO . $
I CAN SEE IT 'S A CLOCK THOUGH . $
05 YOU 'RE SHORT SIGHTED . $
03 AM I ? $
05 INDEED . $
WHO 'S YOUR DOCTOR ? $
03 I DON'T KNOW . $
05 MIGHT I SUGGEST YOU FIND OUT AND PAY HIM A VISIT AT ONCE
. $
HE 'LL TEST YOUR VISION AND FIX YOU UP . $
WILL YOU DO THAT ? $
03 YES . $
05 IF YOU 'RE NOT ON A G.P.'S REGISTER ASK MISS BOWERS TO SE
ND YOU ALONG TO ME ON MONDAY EVENING SAY . $
HERE 'S MY ADDRESS . $
AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN SHORT SIGHTED ? $
03 YOU JUST TOLD ME . $
05 YES . $
03 SINCE JUST NOW . $
05 YOU 'VE NOT BEEN AWARE OF ANY DIFFICULTY ? $
03 NOT ABOUT MY EYES . $
05 OH ... YOU SOUND AS THOUGH YOU HAVE SOME OTHER COMPLAINT
. $
03 YES . $
I DO HAVE BUT I DON'T THINK DOCTORS CAN DO ANYTHING FOR IT .
 $
05 THERE 'S VERY LITTLE MEDICAL SCIENCE CAN'T COPE WITH THES
E DAYS . $
03 IT 'S A SEXUAL PROBLEM . $
05 SEXUAL . $
OH . $
IN WHAT WAY ? $
03 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PUT IT . $
05 YOU CAN SPEAK QUITE FREELY WITH ME . $
03 THANK YOU BUT I 'D RATHER NOT . $
05 IT HASN'T BY ANY CHANCE GOT ANYTHING TO DO WITH MISS BOWE
RS HAS IT ? $
03 IN A WAY . $
05 OH . $
THEN PERHAPS I CAN HELP YOU . $
03 OH ... ? $
05 AT LEAST , OFFER YOU MY ADVICE . $
03 YES , I LIKE ADVICE , I NEED IT . $
05 MARRY HER . $
03 OH . $
05 THAT 'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES . $
03 OH . $
05 MARRIAGE SOLVES MANY A PROBLEM BESIDES . $
03 I SEE . $
05 YES , IF YOU DON'T MAKE IT LEGAL YOU 'LL NEVER BE HAPPY .
 $
YOU WANT TO BE ABLE TO HOLD YOUR HEAD UP DON'T YOU ? $
03 YES . $
05 MARK MY WORDS , I 'VE SEEN COUPLES WHO 'VE TRIED TO MAKE
A GO OF THINGS OUTSIDE THE BONDS OF MATRIMONY AND IT 'S NEVE
R WORKED , ONE OR OTHER OF THEM HAS ALWAYS ENDED UP IN THE G
UTTER . $
03 OH . $
05 YOU SEE THEY DON'T HAVE THE NECESSARY RESPECT FOR EACH OT
ER . $
AND YOU WON'T GET ANY FROM THE COMMUNITY EITHER UNLESS YOU '
RE LEGALLY UNITED . $
03 I SEE . $
05 NO . $
FROM A TAX POINT OF VIEW THEY 'RE BETTER OFF BUT THAT 'S A M
ERCENARY CONSIDERATION , UNWORTHY OF YOU BOTH AND OUTSIDE YO
UR TERMS OF REFERENCE I 'M SURE . $
03 IT WOULD BE , I SHOULD THINK . $
05 FOR THE CHILD'S SAKE TOO . $
A CHILD NEEDS A STABLE HOUSE WITH A RESPECTABLE WELL DEFINED
 RELATIONSHIP EXISTING BETWEEN THE PARENTS . $
03 YES . $
05 MARRY HER AND THE THREE OF YOU WILL BE MUCH HAPPIER WITH
THE CONSENT AND GOOD WILL OF SOCIETY BEHIND YOU ALL THE WAY
. $
OH YES . $
03 THANK YOU . $
05 NOT AT ALL . $
GLAD YOU MENTIONED IT . $
I WOULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING IF YOU HADN'T INTIMATED . $
IT DOESN'T TAKE MUCH OF A SHERLOCK HOLMES TO PUT TWO AND TWO
 TOGETHER . $
03 NO . $
05 DON'T WORRY . $
THAT 'S THE MAIN THING . $
MANY OF MY PATIENTS ARE OBLIGED TO TAKE ME INTO THEIR CONFID
ENCE . $
THEY DO SO WITHOUT HESITATION , KNOWING THEY HAVE MY DISCRET
ION AND SYMPATHY IN RETURN . $
03 THANK YOU . $
05 WELL , MY BOY - BY THE WAY , WHAT 'S YOUR NAME ? $
03 ALVIN , MISTER ALVIN HANKER . $
05 SO MISTER HANKY , I SHALL HOPE TO SEE YOU ON MONDAY EVENI
NG . $
WE 'LL LOOK INTO YOUR EYES THEN , UNLESS OF COURSE YOU MAKE
OTHER ARRANGEMENTS . $
BELIEVE ME , TO LOSE YOUR EYESIGHT COULD BE A FAR GREATER PR
OBLEM FOR YOU IN LIFE THAN ANYTHING THAT MAY BE CAUSING YOU
ANXIETY NOW . $
YOU MUST ATTEND TO THEM RIGHT AWAY . $
IT WOULD BE DOUBLY SHORT SIGHTED OF YOU NOT TO - IF YOU 'LL
EXCUSE THE APTNESS OF THE CLICHE . $
03 OH YES . $
05 WELL , MISTER HANKY . $
#74 $
03 HANKER . $
05 I 'M VERY GLAD WE 'VE MET . $
FORTUITOUS I THINK IS THE WORD , IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE . $
YOU 'LL DOUBTLESS TELL MISS BOWERS I CALLED . $
03 YES . $
05 GOOD MORNING . $
03 THANK YOU . $
05 GOOD MORNING . $
03 GOOD MORNING . $
01 ALVIN . $
03 YES ? $
01 YOU KNOW YOUR BREAKFAST ... ? $
03 YES . $
01 I WOULDN'T ASK YOU NORMALLY . $
03 GO ON . $
01 IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE BENDING . $
03 WHAT ABOUT MY BREAKFAST ? $
01 IN FUTURE YOU CAN GET YOUR OWN . $
03 I THOUGHT SO . $
01 THE KITCHEN 'S TOO SMALL . $
03 YOU 'RE TOO BIG YOU MEAN . $
01 I WON'T BE WHEN I 'VE HAD IT . $
03 YOU WOULDN'T BE WHEN YOU GOT RID OF IT EITHER . $
01 I 'M KEEPING IT . $
03 THE WORLD 'S OVERCROWDED AS IT IS . $
PEOPLE TAKE UP TOO MUCH ROOM . $
01 THAT 'S WHY THE KITCHEN 'S TOO SMALL . $
THE TRAYS I PREPARE WON'T FIT ON THE DRAINING BOARD WHEN I '
M STICKING OUT LIKE THIS . $
THEY CAN'T OVERHANG WHEN I DO . $
THERE ARE BYELAWS AND BASIC STANDARDS LAID DOWN BY THE LOCAL
 COUNCIL FORBIDDING HOUSEWIVES TO GO BELOW A CERTAIN LEVEL .
03 YOU SUNK BELOW IT SOME TIME AGO . $
01 NOW THAT YOU 'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR ME YOU COULD GET A SUMMO
NS . $
03 YOU 'RE NOT MARRIED YET YOU KNOW . $
01 MEANING ? $
03 DON'T PUSH YOUR LUCK . $
01 YOU WILL MARRY ME ? $
03 IF I DON'T ? $
01 YOU MUST . $
03 I WILL THEN . $
IF I MUST , I MUST . $
01 WHEN ? $
03 EAGER AREN'T YOU ? $
01 I 'D JUST LIKE TO KNOW . $
03 I 'M NOT GOOD AT MAKING DECISIONS . $
01 YOU DON'T HAVE TO MARRY ME . $
03 MUCH . $
01 I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO ? $
03 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE PREGNANT . $
01 I THOUGHT THIS WOULD HAPPEN , THAT 'S WHY I DIDN'T TELL Y
OU . $
03 AND I THOUGHT THERE WAS SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT YOU , KEEPI
NG ME AT A DISTANCE . $
YOU THOUGHT YOU 'D BE MORE SURE OF ME IF YOU PLAYED HARD TO
ET . $
01 THINK THAT IF YOU WANT TO . $
03 OH YES , I CAN THINK WHAT I LIKE NOW IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY
DIFFERENCE . $
NOW I 'M FORCED TO MARRY YOU - DON'T PRETEND I 'M NOT . $
I KNOW I SHALL HAVE TO . $
YOU DO LOOK A MESS . $
IMAGINE SLEEPING WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT . $
I 'D NEED TO HAVE PLEASANT DREAMS AND EVEN IF I DID THEY 'D
BE NIGHTMARES WHEN I WOKE UP AND TURNED OVER TO FACE YOU . $
IF YOU GET MUCH BIGGER YOU WON'T FIT IN THE BATHROOM NEVER M
IND THE KITCHEN . $
OH - AND BY THE WAY - SINCE WE GOT MARRIED LAST WEEK AND SIN
CE YOUR FILTHY BROTHER DECIDED TO STAY AT HOME TO LOOK AFTER
 HIS BIG , PUFFED UP SISTER , I 'M LEAVING YOU BOTH TO IT .
$
01 YOU CAN'T GO AWAY . $
03 I CAN THOUGH . $
01 ALVIN ! $
03 I THOUGHT YOU 'D BE PLEASED - ALONE WITH YOUR BIG BROTHER
 AT LAST . $
01 NO , PLEASE , SEE , AS I GO DOWN AWKWARDLY ON MY BENDED K
NEES TO IMPLORE YOU ... $
03 I CAN'T LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH MY BROTHER - IN - LAW
 . $
01 I 'LL SEND HIM AWAY . $
03 IF ANYONE GETS OUT IT 'S ME . $
01 NO NO - $
#75 $
03 ANYWAY - YOU 'RE TOO LATE . $
I 'VE ARRANGED TO TAKE HIS PLACE , ON HIS SHIP . $
LOG BOOK , VACCINATION MARKS , PASSPORT , ALL DONE LEGAL . $
I 'M JOINING HIS SHIP AT SOUTHAMPTON ON WEDNESDAY . $
CASH ON DELIVERY . $
I 'VE ALREADY KISSED MY MAM GOODBYE . $
I HAVEN'T GOT VERY LONG BEFORE I HAVE TO CATCH THE TRAIN I '
M MEETING . $
SO , EXCUSE ME , WON'T YOU DEAR , WHILE I PUT ON SOMETHING M
ORE SUITABLE FOR LIFE ON BOARD SHIP . $
I 'LL HAVE TO HURRY . $
I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE WHEN YOU GET BACK IF I CAN HELP IT .
 $
01 ALVIN - DON'T THINK THINGS LIKE THAT ... $
03 YOU DO . $
01 CAN'T YOU SEE YOU 'RE KILLING ME . $
03 I CAN'T FEEL ANYTHING ... $
01 MAURICE - $
IT HURTS . $
02 IT 'S SUPPOSED TO . $
COME ON . $
COME AND LIE DOWN . $
THE DOCTOR 'S ON HIS WAY . $
EVERYTHING 'S READY . $
01 NOT TODAY . $
NOT NOW . $
NOT YET . $
02 PROBABLY . $
YOU NEVER KNOW . $
IF IT HAS TO BE NOW YOU CAN'T STOP IT . $
NEARLY THERE . $
MRS. HANKER HAS EVERYTHING READY AND WAITING . $
LOTS OF HOT TOWELS . $
YOU 'LL BE ALL RIGHT . $
IT 'LL ALL BE OVER IN A TWINKLING . $
01 I HOPE SO . $
04 I 'LL TAKE OVER NOW . $
COME ALONG , DEAR . $
NURSE HARRIET 'LL SEE TO YOU . $
THAT 'S RIGHT . $
ONE IN FRONT OF THE OTHER . $
LEFT , RIGHT . $
DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO GET UP ? $
02 HOW DO YOU LIKE IT THEN - BEING AT SEA ? $
03 GREAT , GREAT . $
02 LUCKY YOU 'RE HOME JUST AS THE BABY 'S BEING BORN . $
03 I DIDN'T EXPECT IT TO BE YET . $
02 NEITHER DID ANYONE ELSE . $
SHE 'S THREE WEEKS EARLY . $
THE DOCTOR SAID IT WAS TOO RISKY TO TAKE HER TO THE HOSPITAL
 . $
SHE DIDN'T WANT TO GO ANYWAY . $
YOUR MOTHER 'S BEING VERY HELPFUL . $
03 HAS SHE ... $
02 SHE 'S BEEN COMING UP EVERY DAY NOW FOR THE LAST FOUR WEE
KS . $
BRINGING THINGS SHE 'S COOKED , PIES , CAKES AND SHOPPING .
$
03 I DIDN'T WANT TO COME UP ... I CAN TELL YOU . $
I WASN'T GOING TO AFTER WHAT HAPPENED THAT WEEKEND YOU CAME
HOME . $
I 'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS PLACE . $
ESPECIALLY AFTER SAILING ABOUT FOR THE LAST FIVE MONTHS . $
IT 'S BLOODY AWFUL COMING BACK TO THIS DUMP AFTER BEING WITH
 THE LADS , LARKING ABOUT IN THE PLACES WE 'VE BEEN , I CAN
TELL YOU . $
' COURSE YOU 'VE BEEN , I DON'T NEED TO TELL YOU . $
02 YEAH : I 'VE BEEN TO MOST PLACES . $
03 I NEEDN'T HAVE COME UP IF THE SILLY BITCH HAD LEFT THE KE
Y . $
I LOST MINE - HUH - THAT WAS A NIGHT . $
WE ALL GOT PISSED . $
WE HAD THIS GREAT PISS UP IN A BAR CALLED THE BLACK PANTIES
. $
BLACK PANTIES ! $
MY MATE , LEN , GOT RIGHT PISSED , WORSE THAN ANY OF US AND
WE DARED HIM TO HAVE A COUPLE OF BLUEBIRDS TATTOOED ON HIS T
ITS , ONE ON EACH , IN A CUBICLE BEHIND THE BAR . $
HUH - HE PASSED OUT BEFORE THE BLOKE HAD FINISHED THE SECOND
 ONE SO HE 'S GOT ONE BLUEBIRD , THE LEFT ONE , DIVING FOR H
IS TIT WITHOUT A BEAK OR A HEAD ON , JUST THE BODY AND THE W
INGS AND TAIL BUT NO HEAD . $
ON BOARD NEXT DAY I SAID TO HIM ' SHOW US YOUR TITS THEN LEN
 ' HUH - YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIS FACE WHEN HE SAW IT . $
I SAID , ' WELL , WHERE WERE YOU LAST NIGHT ? $
YOU MUST HAVE BEEN WITH A RIGHT HUNGRY TART ' I SAID , SHE '
S MADE A REAL MEAL OF YOU , SHE 'S BITTEN YOUR BLUEBIRD'S HE
AD OFF , IT 'S A WONDER YOU 'VE GOT A LEFT TIT LEFT . ' $
A GREAT PISS UP . $
02 SOUNDS LIKE YOU 'RE A FATHER . $
03 YEAH . $
02 WHAT DO YOU SAY ? $
BOY OR GIRL ? $
03 I COULDN'T CARE LESS . $
AS LONG AS I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AFTER IT . $
EH - DON'T TELL HER I 'M HERE WILL YOU . $
I DON'T WANT HER TO BE HURT OR UPSET . $
02 WON'T SHE BE MORE UPSET IF SHE KNOWS YOU 'VE BEEN AND GON
E AWAY AGAIN WITHOUT SEEING HER AND THE BABY ?
#76 $
03 THAT 'S NOT MY FUNERAL IS IT . $
02 I WON'T SAY YOU 'VE BEEN HERE THEN . $
03 OH YEAH . $
THAT 'S BEST . $
04 WELL THEN AND WHOSE LITTLE BABY ARE YOU ? $
EH ? $
EH ? $
OOH MY GOD ! $
ALVIN - WHAT YOU DOING HERE ? $
03 I CAME FOR THE KEY . $
I CAN'T GET IN . $
04 I THOUGHT WE HAD BURGLARS , DAYLIGHT ROBBERY . $
03 WHERE IS IT ? $
04 WHAT ? $
03 KEY TO HOME . $
04 HOW SHOULD I KNOW ? $
03 OH COME ON . $
04 LOOK IN MY COAT . $
COME AND SEE HIM . $
ISN'T HE LOVELY ? $
AREN'T YOU LOVELY ? $
YES . $
ALVIN , COME AND LOOK . $
03 HERE IT IS . $
04 YOUR DADDY 'S COME TO HAVE A PEEP AT YOU ... SSSH . $
03 CHRIST ! $
04 DON'T SCREW YOUR FACE UP AT HIM . $
03 I 'M OFF . $
04 NAY , ALVIN . $
STAY A MINUTE TILL ANNA COMES ROUND ... ALVIN ... $
WELL THE BLOODY BUGGER . $
YES . $
ISN'T HE A BUGGER YOUR DADDY EH ? $
I EXPECT YOU KNOW THAT ALREADY DON'T YOU , EH ? $
MY LITTLE SWEETHEART EH ? $
' COURSE HE DOES , YES HE DOES . $
HIS DADDY 'S A LITTLE SOD AND YOU 'RE A LITTLE BASTARD - YES
 HE IS , HE 'S A LITTLE BASTARD AREN'T YOU THEN . $
AW HE 'S LOVELY ... $
02 IVY - CAN YOU COME IN , THE DOCTOR'S ASKING . $
04 COMING . $
02 ANNA 'S NOT VERY BRIGHT AT THE MOMENT . $
SHE 'S STILL UNCONSCIOUS . $
HAVE YOU SEEN HIM ? $
03 YES THANKS . $
I HAVEN'T COME BACK TO STOP . $
I FORGOT TO ASK MAM FOR A POUND OR TWO . $
SEE YOU . $
THANKS FOR HOLDING THE BABY AND THAT . $
02 I AM HIS UNCLE
01 ALVIN ... $
ALVIN ? $
GONE . $
HE MIGHT HAVE FOLDED THE BLANKETS . $
05 WELL . $
WELL NOW , THIS IS A GRIEVOUS TRAGEDY . $
04 YES , DOCTOR . $
IT IS THAT . $
05 THERE 'LL BE NO NEED TO SEND FOR THE CORONER AS SHE DIED
IN MY PRESENCE . $
04 NO , NO . $
I SEE . $
05 WILL YOU BE ABLE TO COPE ? $
04 I KNOW WHAT TO DO . $
05 I 'LL LEAVE THINGS IN YOUR CAPABLE HANDS . $
04 THANK YOU . $
THAT IS KIND . $
05 GOOD DAY . $
04 RIGHT . $
THANK YOU . $
YES . $
GOOD DAY , DOCTOR . $
01 MORE WASHING . $
TWELVE . $
HE COULD BE HERE IN FIVE HOURS OR SO I SUPPOSE , FIVE AT THE
 EARLIEST . $
LOTS OF TIME ... LOTS OF TIME TO GET SHIP SHAPE . $
04 LOOKS LIKE IT 'S UP TO US TWO NOW , DOESN'T IT . $
02 LOOKS LIKE IT . $
04 YOU 'D BETTER GO AND SEE THE UNDERTAKER . $
02 IN A BIT . $
04 I 'LL GO IF YOU LIKE . $
02 NO . $
YOU 'D BETTER STAY HERE WITH HIM . $
04 SHALL I TAKE HIM OFF TO MY HOUSE ? $
LOOK AFTER HIM THERE ? $
I AM HIS GRANNY . $
02 I 'M HIS UNCLE . $
04 YOU COULD POP DOWN WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE IT . $
02 NO . $
04 HAVE HIM HERE THEN AND I 'LL POP UP . $
02 WHY DON'T YOU MOVE IN ? $
04 HERE ? $
02 IF YOU WANT . $
04 AND MY FURNITURE ? $
02 SELL IT . $
04 YOU MEAN WHY DON'T I MOVE OUT ... ? $
02 MOVE OUT THERE , MOVE IN HERE . $
04 PERMANENT ? $
02 IF YOU LIKE . $
04 WHY DON'T YOU SAY WHAT YOU MEAN THEN ... ? $
02 IF I DON'T YOU WILL . $
04 YES . $
02 IT WOULD BE MORE CONVENIENT HERE . $
04 OH YES . $
OH VERY . $
OH IT WOULD BE . $
YES . $
02 SAVE THE JOURNEY BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS . $
04 MORNING AND NIGHT . $
02 THAT 'S SETTLED THEN ? $
04 WE 'LL SAY AGREED . $
IT 'LL NOT BE SETTLED TILL I 'VE SETTLED IN , WILL IT ? $
02 SUPPOSE NOT . $
04 BETTER SHAKE HANDS ON IT , HADN'T WE ? $
02 IF YOU LIKE . $
04 YOU MEAN I CAN'T TRUST YOU ? $
02 I WOULDN'T SAY THAT . $
04 I LIKE A MAN WHO 'S NOT TO BE TRUSTED - WITHIN REASON . $
02 WE 'LL SEE HOW WE GET ON THEN . $
04 MIGHT AS WELL , EH ? $
02 AYE , MIGHT AS WELL . $
YOU 'VE COME BACK THEN , HAVE YOU ? $
03 I HAVEN'T BEEN AS YET , HAVE I ? $
04 YOU WILL BE GOING THEN ? $
03 HOME TO OUR HOUSE YOU MEAN ? $
04 OFF OUT TO SEA , YOU DOPE . $
03 I CAN'T DECIDE . $
04 WELL YOU 'D BETTER . $
IT 'S UP TO YOU WHAT HAPPENS TO US . $
03 I WISH IT WERE UP TO YOU . $
04 JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT . $
03 I CAN'T TELL WHAT I WANT AS YET . $
04 YOU MEAN AFTER ALL THIS YOU 'RE NO NEARER NOW THAN YOU WE
RE TO START OFF WITH BEFORE ? $
03 WELL - I DON'T THINK I OUGHT TO GO , THAT 'S ALL , NOT JU
ST AT THIS PRECISE MOMENT . $
04 ' YOU DON'T THINK THAT 'S ALL PRECISELY AT THIS MOMENT ..
. ' $
OHH - THAT 'S WHAT I LIKE , A MAN OF POSITIVE ACTION - $
DID YOU EVER HEAR - $
#77 $
03 YOU CAN GO THOUGH . $
04 EH ? $
03 PUT HIM OR HER DOWN AND CLEAR OUT . $
04 HUH ! $
03 YOU 'RE NOT NEEDED . $
04 INDEED . $
03 YOU 'VE MADE YOUR POINT . $
04 HOW ABOUT YOUR WOULD - BE BROTHER - IN - LAW ? $
03 YOU BOTH HAVE TO GO . $
MISS BOWERS IS RETURNING . $
I 'M SORRY WE DIDN'T HIT IT OFF . $
I 'LL NOT BE HAPPY WITHOUT YOU I DON'T SUPPOSE BUT IT 'S THE
 THING TO DO , ISN'T IT ? $
WHAT MOST PEOPLE DO MUST BE RIGHT . $
I WON'T EVER FORGET YOU THOUGH . $
I 'LL ALWAYS WISH I 'D BEEN LIKE YOU . $
02 THANKS . $
BUT IF I WERE YOU I WOULDN'T TELL ANYONE THAT - IF I WERE YO
U . $
03 THANKS . $
BUT I 'M NOT YOU THOUGH , AM I ? $
02 CHEERIO THEN . $
03 SO LONG . $
01 OH HELLO . $
03 HELLO . $
01 I THOUGHT YOU 'D GONE . $
03 I WAS OUTSIDE . $
01 DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME CALL ? $
03 YES . $
01 YOU LIKE PLAYING GAMES , DON'T YOU ? $
03 WHY ? $
01 YES . $
HE 'S BEEN OUT ALL NIGHT TOO , LIKE YOU , PLAYING HIDE AND S
EEK . $
WANT SOME TEA ? $
03 NO THANKS . $
I 'VE NOT LONG HAD BREAKFAST . $
01 I 'VE DONE THE SHOPPING . $
03 GOOD . $
01 EVERYTHING'S TIDY NOW . $
ALL IN ORDER . $
03 ... OH ! $
01 WHAT ? $
03 WHILE I REMEMBER . $
YOU HAD A VISITOR WHILE YOU WERE OUT . $
01 OH . $
WHO ? $
03 ... ER - $
DOCTOR FRANKLYN . $
01 OH . $
03 HE WANTED TO SEE YOU . $
01 OH . $
03 HE SAID . $
01 ... YES ? $
03 HE SAID I HAVE TO WEAR GLASSES . $
01 OH DEAR . $
NEVER MIND . $
03 HE SAID I SHOULD GO WITH YOU . $
01 WHERE TO ? $
03 HIS SURGERY NEXT TIME YOU GO . $
01 OH . $
03 WHEN IS IT ? $
01 WHAT ? $
03 YOUR NEXT VISIT . $
01 I DON'T HAVE A REGULAR APPOINTMENT . $
03 I 'LL MAKE ONE FOR US BOTH THEN , SHALL I ? $
01 ALRIGHT , YES . $
03 THIS MONDAY ? $
01 MONDAY . $
03 SEVEN O'CLOCK LIKE LAST NIGHT ? $
01 SEVEN O'CLOCK . $
03 YOU 'D BETTER BE THERE THIS TIME . $
01 IF YOU MAKE THE APPOINTMENT , I 'LL KEEP IT . $
03 I SHAN'T GO IN WITHOUT YOU . $
01 I 'LL BE THERE . $
< BLACKOUT > $