*113
#57 $
FIND YOUR WAY HOME $
02 LOVE ! $
DARLING , YOU DON'T KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORD . $
' WHAM , BAM AND THANK YOU , MAM ! ' $
YOU 'RE A LAZY BASTARD . $
HELLO . $
01 CAN'T HEAR ... $
02 LISTEN . $
IF YOU LISTEN CAREFULLY ... $
01 STILL CAN'T ... $
02 BREATHING ? $
01 NOTHING . $
02 PROBABLY FRIGHTENED HIM OFF . $
SILLY BITCH ! $
OH , WELL . $
' BYE ' LOVE . $
IF LOVE CAME TROLLING IN HERE - I MEAN - NOW ! $
WITH THE TAJ MAHAL ON HER HEAD AND THE POST OFFICE TOWER IN
HER PANTS - YOU WOULDN'T GET OUT OF THAT CHAIR - HARDLY OPEN
 YOUR EYES . $
TURN THE FIRE DOWN , WILL YOU ? $
IT 'S ROASTING IN HERE . $
#58 $
01 YOU CAN LOOK , BABY - BUT YOU MUSTN'T TOUCH . $
02 CHEAP AND NASTY , AREN'T YOU ? $
01 YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE RECORD ? $
OR SHALL I ? $
02 I DIDN'T SAY YOU SHOULD MOVE IN , YOU KNOW . $
I HAD A SORT OF MORE TEMPORARY ARRANGEMENT IN MIND . $
01 YOU ASK PEOPLE IN - YOU WANT THEY SHOULD TAKE CARE OF YOU
 , WHEN IT 'S DARK AND YOU 'RE AFRAID - YOU CAN'T JUST - YOU
 KNOW ? - WHEN IT 'S GOT LIGHT AGAIN AND YOU 'RE NOT FRIGHTE
NED ANY MORE - TELL THEM - ' OUT ' . $
DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT ? $
DIDN'T ANYONE TELL YOU ? $
JULIE - YOU HAVE TO THINK - HOW THEY 'RE GOING TO FEEL - WIT
H YOU USING THEM - ABUSING THEM - THROWING THEM OUT WHEN YOU
 'RE FINISHED WITH THEM . $
YOU HAVE TO THINK . $
YOU GOING TO CHANGE THE RECORD ? $
02 I SORT OF THOUGHT - WHEN I WENT OFF TO WORK THIS MORNING
 - YOU MIGHT - WELL , HAVE SOMETHING TO DO - SOMEWHERE TO GO
 ? $
01 NO . $
02 YOU DON'T WORK ? $
01 I DON'T WORK . $
02 HOW D' YOU KEEP - THE WOLF FROM THE DOOR ? $
01 I DON'T - IF I CAN HELP IT . $
HA , HA . $
THIS IS COMFORTABLE . $
REALLY - COMFORTABLE - THE MOST ... $
... COMFORTABLE - CHAIR I THINK I 'VE EVER SAT IN - HAD THE
PLEASURE ... $
HMM . $
02 YES , IT IS . $
01 HOW D' YOU AFFORD - SOMETHING ... $
PRESENT ? $
02 YES . $
01 SOMEONE - LOVES YOU A LOT - GIVING YOU PRESENTS - FANCY P
RESENTS LIKE THIS . $
HEY , JULIE - NO . $
LET 'S HAVE SOMETHING GENTLE - YOU KNOW - PEACEFUL . $
02 YOU DON'T LIKE THIS - GET UP - GET OFF YOUR FAT BACKSIDE
- FIND SOMETHING YOU DO LIKE . $
I 'M NOT ABOUT TO SPEND THE EVENING - CHASING AFTER YOU . $
FOR GOD'S SAKE , DAVY - YOU MAKE ME SICK . $
01 DAVY ? $
02 I DIDN'T MEAN - HEY ! - YOU KNOW ME - YOU KNOW - ER - NOT
HING PERSONAL - RIGHT ? $
WELL - LIKE YOU SAID - THINGS TO DO ! $
LOTS OF THINGS - MUST KEEP BUSY - YES ? $
BUSY HANDS MAKE LIGHT WORK - OR SOMETHING - THE DEVIL FINDS
HANDS FOR IDLE WORK - HANDS , KNEES AND UP YOUR DAISY ! $
HERE . $
LET ME . $
WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR MIND - THAT 'S YOUR BUSINESS . $
MY FURNITURE - THAT 'S SOMETHING ELSE . $
WELL ? $
IF YOU DON'T WANT THE GOODS - YOU KNOW ? - DON'T MUCK 'EM AB
OUT . $
01 YOU BOTHER ME , JULIE . $
ALL THE TIME - FUSSING - YOU BOTHER ME . $
02 YOU BORE THE SHIT OUT OF ME . $
01 YOU WANT TO FUCK ? $
02 NOT PARTICULARLY . $
AND NOW - IF YOU DON'T MIND ... $
01 IT 'S COLDER . $
ISN'T IT GETTING COLDER ? $
02 WILL YOU LET GO ! $
01 TIMES - AND YOU LIKE TO BE HURT . $
02 HA ! $
01 I WAS READING ABOUT THAT - PEOPLE - HURTING YOU . $
02 READING ? $
READING WHAT ? $
WHAT D' YOU MEAN ? $
01 INT'RESTING . $
ALL THAT STUFF . $
BETTER THAN BOOKS . $
02 YOU BITCH . $
YOU ROTTEN , FILTHY BITCH . $
YOU CUNT ! $
01 ISN'T IT SORT OF SPECIAL ? $
DOESN'T IT MAKE US - SORT OF SPECIAL ? $
YOU DON'T HAVE SECRETS - I MEAN - THERE ISN'T ANYTHING YOU H
AVE TO HIDE . $
IT 'S LIKE - I 'VE BEEN INSIDE YOUR HEAD . $
INSIDE YOUR BODY - NOW - INSIDE YOUR HEAD . $
02 YOU MUST 'VE KNOWN - SURELY ! - READING - COULDN'T YOU SE
E ? $
I DIDN'T MEAN ANYONE SHOULD READ ... $
01 PEOPLE WITH THINGS TO HIDE SHOULD LEARN TO HIDE THEM BETT
ER . $
I WANTED YOU LAST NIGHT . $
TONIGHT ! - WHAT I FEEL TONIGHT - WHAT I KNOW ABOUT YOU - WH
AT HAPPENS - THINKING ... $
IF YOU DIDN'T MEAN ANYONE SHOULD READ IT - HOW COME YOU WROT
E IT ALL DOWN . $
COULDN'T YOU JUST AS WELL REMEMBER - KEEP IT IN YOUR HEAD ?
 $
02 I DIDN'T MEAN ANYONE SHOULD READ IT . $
02 SOMEONE - YOU WANTED SOMEONE TO READ IT . $
MAYBE NOT ME ... $
02 NOT YOU . $
01 NO - MAYBE NOT , BUT SOMEONE - YES ? $
JULIE ? $
I 'M SORRY , JULIE . $
YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND - READING THOSE BOOKS - IT SEEMED LIK
E A CHANCE TO KNOW YOU - GET TO KNOW YOU - AND I COULDN'T ST
OP MYSELF . $
IT WAS A BLOODY THING TO DO - AND STUPID - YES - ALL THE SAM
E ... $
... FEELING ABOUT YOU - FEELING THE WAY I DO FEEL ... $
#59 $
I 'VE WATCHED YOU - DAYS AND WEEKS . $
YOU MUST 'VE SEEN ME - YOU MUST 'VE KNOWN . $
DIDN'T YOU KNOW ? $
DAYS - AND I 'VE WANTED JUST TO COME AND KNOCK ON YOUR DOOR
- NIGHTS - ( MOCKING ) THE NIGHTS WEREN'T ANY EASIER . $
AND THEN - LAST NIGHT ... $
02 LAST NIGHT , DARLING - I NEEDED SOMETHING WARM IN BED WIT
H ME - SOMETHING BESIDE ME - SOMETHING I COULD TOUCH - REACH
 OUT AND TOUCH - IF I WOKE IN THE NIGHT AND I WAS SCARED - S
OMETHING - THERE - IN THE DARKNESS - ANYTHING , DARLING - MA
N , WOMAN OR DOG . $
YOU THINK I 'M GOING TO LET YOU FUCK ME ? $
I MEAN - NOW ! $
WHAT ARE YOU ? $
SOME SORT OF RAVING MANIAC ! $
I WOULDN'T LET YOU FUCK ME - AS LONG AS YOU LIVE - ONE THING
 YOU HAVE TO KNOW - YOU 'LL NEVER - EVER , EVER , EVER - GET
 INTO ME AGAIN . $
01 DON'T FIGHT ME , JULIE . $
NOT TONIGHT . $
COULDN'T IT BE GENTLE ? $
I MEAN - LAST NIGHT - WE DID THAT WHOLE THING ... $
02 DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT LAST NIGHT ? $
YOU TALK LIKE IT WAS SOMETHING SPECIAL . $
DARLING - I 'VE HAD MORE SATISFACTION EATING AN OVER-RIPE BA
NANA - SUCKING ON A STALE , BLOOD ORANGE . $
TRUTHFULLY , I 'VE HAD FELLAS MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL . $
YOU DON'T CO-ORDINATE TOO WELL . $
MUST BE ALL THOSE NIGHTS - THINKING ABOUT ME - HAVING YOURSE
LF - SITTING IN YOUR DARK AND DIRTY LITTLE ROOM - CHASING ME
 AROUND YOUR DARK AND DIRTIER LITTLE MIND . $
YOU BITCH . $
01 COME HERE . $
02 GO FUCK YOURSELF ! $
SILLY BITCH ! $
GO AWAY - WILL YOU ? $
PLEASE ! $
YOU WANT TO GET INTO ME - YOU 'LL HAVE TO DO BETTER THAN THA
T . $
01 I 'VE BEEN INTO YOU ALREADY - REMEMBER ? $
02 DOESN'T ESTABLISH PROPERTY RIGHTS . $
IS THAT WHAT YOU THOUGHT ? $
DARLING - IF I CAN'T DO ANY BETTER - IF THE BEST I CAN EXPEC
T - THE REST OF MY LIFE ... $
I 'LL SHOOT MYSELF IN THE HEAD . $
WILL YOU PLEASE GET UP AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE ? $
I 'M NOT - IF YOU 'LL PARDON THE EXPRESSION - PLAYING HARD T
O GET - JUST - I WANT YOU TO GET OUT - GO HOME - HAVE YOURSE
LF - YOU 'RE NOT HAVING ME . $
COME IN . $
03 I 'M SORRY . $
I DIDN'T MEAN TO DISTURB YOU - ER - INTERRUPT ANYTHING . $
02 YOU KNOW MY BROTHER , DON'T YOU ? $
03 NO , I DON'T THINK ... $
02 SURELY ? $
01 NO . $
WE 'VE NEVER MET , I 'D CERTAINLY REMEMBER . $
02 WELL - DAVY ... $
... THIS IS ALAN HARRISON - A FRIEND OF MINE - AN OLD FRIEND
 . $
I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM ... $
HOW LONG IS IT ? $
03 I DON'T THINK IT 'S SO VERY LONG . $
SIX MONTHS - MAYBE - A LITTLE LONGER . $
02 LONGER . $
ALMOST A YEAR . $
03 IS IT ? $
WELL - IF YOU SAY IT IS - I IMAGINE ... $
02 ALMOST A YEAR . $
03 YOU 'VE CHANGED THINGS AROUND - HAVEN'T YOU ? - MOVED THE
 FURNITURE ... $
02 YES . $
03 I THOUGHT SO . $
I DIDN'T REMEMBER ... $
02 A YEAR IS REALLY QUITE A LONG TIME - CAN BE - A LONG TIME
 . $
01 JULIAN 'S REALLY QUITE THE LITTLE HOMEMAKER , ISN'T HE ?
 $
I DON'T KNOW HOW HE CAN AFFORD ALL THESE EXPENSIVE THINGS .
$
02 ARE YOU STAYING ? $
HOW LONG ARE YOU STAYING ? $
01 WOULD YOU LIKE SOMETHING TO DRINK ? $
02 THERE ISN'T ANYTHING TO DRINK . $
01 I CAN GO OUT . $
03 NO - THANK YOU - REALLY . $
IT DOESN'T MATTER . $
02 TAKE OFF YOUR COAT . $
SIT DOWN . $
01 YES . $
MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE . $
HOW IS IT OUT THERE ? $
STILL RAINING ? $
03 NO . $
IT 'S QUITE PLEASANT . $
A LITTLE HEAVY - I THINK PERHAPS IT MIGHT ... $
02 YOU SHOULD GET HOME , DAVY - BEFORE IT STARTS . $
01 I DON'T MIND THE RAIN . $
IT 'S GOOD FOR THE COMPLEXION . $
ISN'T THAT WHAT THEY SAY ? $
03 YOU DON'T LIVE HERE ? $
01 OH , NO . $
I 'M JUST VISITING . $
KEEPING AN EYE ON MY BABY BROTHER . $
SEEING HE DOESN'T GET INTO TROUBLE . $
I 'LL GET IT . $
I THINK IT 'S FOR YOU . $
02 YOU MUST HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER . $
THERE 'S NO ONE LIVING HERE CALLED - WHAT DID YOU SAY ? $
- WILKINSON ! $
SORRY . $
#60 $
01 I THOUGHT HE SAID WESTON . $
I COULD 'VE SWORN . $
02 HE DIDN'T . $
01 EASY MISTAKE TO MAKE . $
IT WAS SUCH A BAD LINE - I COULD HARDLY HEAR HIM . $
VERY BREATHY VOICE . $
02 DAVY - WHY DON'T YOU TELL DAD I 'LL LOOK IN THIS WEEKEND
- SOME TIME THIS WEEKEND . $
01 THAT 'S A PROMISE ? $
02 YES - A PROMISE . $
01 I 'LL TELL HIM . $
02 NOT THE WHOLE WEEKEND . $
01 HE 'LL BE SO PLEASED . $
02 TELL HIM THAT - SO HE WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED . $
01 YOU KNOW HOW MUCH HE LOOKS FORWARD TO YOU COMING . $
02 HE SHOULDN'T EXPECT MORE THAN HE CAN HAVE FROM ME . $
01 IT 'S THE ONLY PLEASURE HE HAS LEFT . $
02 FOR GOD'S SAKE , ALAN - WILL YOU SIT DOWN ? $
IF YOU 'RE STAYING - I MEAN - ARE YOU STAYING ? $
03 I DON'T KNOW . $
01 ALL THIS FAMILY GOSSIP . $
I 'M AFRAID IT 'S VERY BORING . $
03 I THOUGHT YOUR FATHER WAS DEAD ? $
01 NO . $
WHAT MADE YOU THINK - DAD ! $
HE WOULDN'T LIKE TO KNOW - JULIAN - DID YOU SAY ... $
03 I THOUGHT YOU TOLD ME . $
02 MUM - I TOLD YOU - MUM 'S DEAD . $
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO THAT WAS . $
DAD 'S ALL RIGHT . $
01 NEVER BETTER . $
GOODBYE , MR. HARRISON . $
I WISH I COULD STAY LONGER , BUT I CAN SEE JULIAN WANTS YOU
ALL TO HIMSELF . $
GOT THINGS TO TALK ABOUT . $
A YEAR - DID YOU SAY IT WAS A YEAR ? $
SO MUCH CAN HAPPEN IN A YEAR . $
A PERSON CAN CHANGE IN A YEAR - ALMOST COMPLETELY . $
I MEAN - SOMETIMES - YOU MIGHT HARDLY RECOGNISE THEM - MEETI
NG THEM AGAIN . $
02 I 'LL SEE DAVY TO THE DOOR - YES ? $
I WON'T BE A MINUTE . $
03 PLENTY OF TIME . $
01 THAT 'S A PROMISE - ABOUT THE WEEKEND ? $
02 A PROMISE . $
01 ONE THING ABOUT JULIAN - NEVER BREAKS A PROMISE . $
ALWAYS KNOW - IF HE MAKES A PROMISE , HE 'S GOING TO KEEP IT
 . $
02 YES . $
03 GOODBYE . $
01 ENJOY YOURSELF . $
WE 'LL BE THINKING ABOUT YOU - DAD AND ME . $
02 I THOUGHT YOU SAID - WHEN I SAW YOU LAST - DIDN'T YOU SAY
 - I 'D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN ? $
03 NO , I SAID - I WOULD NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN . $
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE . $
02 EITHER WAY - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE NOW ? $
WHAT DO YOU WANT ? $
03 I WANT TO SEE YOU . $
02 YOU DIDN'T THINK - WOULD I WANT TO SEE YOU ? $
YOU DIDN'T ASK YOURSELF ... $
03 YES . $
02 YOU COULD HAVE PHONED . $
03 I THOUGHT - IF I PHONED ... $
02 I MIGHT SAY - NO ? $
I MIGHT - JUST POSSIBLY - TELL YOU - GO TO HELL ? $
03 YES . $
02 RIGHT . $
DAMN' RIGHT ! $
GO TO HELL . $
03 YES . $
02 YOU 'RE SO UNDERSTANDING . $
YOU ALWAYS WERE . $
SORT OF A BLOODY SPONGE ! $
LET THEM SAY - ANYTHING - IT 'S ONLY RIGHT - EVERYBODY 'S RI
GHT - MEA CULPA - YES ? $
BASTARD ! $
CAN'T YOU SIT DOWN ? $
I MEAN - IF YOU 'RE GOING TO STAY ? $
HOW LONG CAN YOU STAY ? $
03 THAT 'S UP TO YOU . $
02 OH , FOR GOD'S SAKE ! $
HOW CAN YOU SAY - LOOK - IT 'S UP TO ME - NOW - BLOODY GO NO
W - AND DON'T COME BACK . $
DON'T COME CRAWLING IN HERE WITH ALL THIS HUMBLE SHIT ! $
YOU WENT AWAY . $
YOU SAID - END - DEAD END . $
GOODBYE - ONCE MORE , GOOD NIGHT - YOU SAID THAT . $
YOU SAID - REMEMBER ? - IT ISN'T POSSIBLE . $
DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT ? $
DIDN'T YOU ? $
03 YES , I DID . $
02 WILL YOU SIT DOWN ? $
OH , GOD - DEAR GOD ! $
YOU 'RE TOO MUCH . $
ALTOGETHER - YOU KNOW ? - TOO BLOODY MUCH . $
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DOES - D' YOU HAVE ANY IDEA ? $
' I MUSN'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED ' - RIGHT ? $
' I MUSTN'T SIT IN MY OWN CHAIR . $
HE MIGHT THINK ... ' $
YOU 'RE SO NOBLE . $
HAS ANYONE TOLD YOU ? $
UNDERSTANDING - LIKE I SAID BEFORE - RETICENT AND SENSITIVE
- LIKE FIVE ELEPHANTS IN TEN PAIRS OF HOB-NAIL BOOTS . $
SIT IN YOUR OWN CHAIR , WILL YOU ? $
IT IS A YEAR , ALAN - ALMOST . $
03 I WON'T ARGUE . $
02 THINGS HAVE CHANGED . $
I 'VE CHANGED . $
03 YOU LOOK ABOUT THE SAME . $
02 APPEARANCES CAN BE DECEPTIVE . $
YOU LOOK TIRED . $
03 OLDER ? $
02 YES - OLDER , I SUPPOSE . $
TIRED . $
WORKING TOO HARD ? $
03 NO . $
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE FIRM ? $
02 WHAT DID YOU EXPECT ME TO DO ? $
03 I DON'T WANT TO FEEL YOU HAD TO LEAVE - BECAUSE - YOU AND
 I - BECAUSE ... $
02 OH , MY LOVE - YOUR BATTERED , BEAUTIFUL , BLEEDING HEART
 ! $
I WOULD HAVE LEFT LONG BEFORE , IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR YOU .
$
MOST OF THE TIME I HATED THE PLACE AND EVERYBODY WORKING THE
RE . $
WHAT WAS I ? $
SORT OF A GLORIFIED OFFICE BOY - RIGHT ? $
DO THIS - DO THAT - FETCH THE TEA , LAD - SHIT ! - AND GET A
NYTHING WRONG - LIKE I 'D RAPED THE MOTHER SUPERIOR . $
DIDN'T I EVER TELL YOU ? $
ANYWAY , I 'VE GOT A MUCH BETTER JOB NOW . $
03 WHAT 'S THAT ? $
02 I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT . $
03 WHY NOT ? $
WHAT SORT OF JOB IS IT ? $
#61 $
02 IT 'S BORING - TALKING ABOUT WORK . $
FOR GOD'S SAKE - I DON'T WANT - ISN'T IT PRETTY RIDICULOUS -
 TALKING ABOUT MY JOB - YOUR JOB - NOW ? $
I DON'T SEE THAT MUCH OF YOU I WANT TO WASTE TIME ... $
I 'D RATHER - THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WE CAN TALK ABOUT . $
WE USED TO TALK - ALL THE TIME - NEVER STOPPED - RIGHT ? $
03 WE USED TO TALK . $
02 AND NEVER - AS I REMEMBER - NEVER ABOUT WORK . $
03 WHERE ARE YOU WORKING ? $
WHAT 'RE YOU DOING ? $
02 MOST OF THE TIME , LOVE - I MEAN - MY MAIN PREOCCUPATION
- WAITING FOR MR RIGHT TO COME ALONG - RIDING HIS GREAT , WH
ITE CHARGER , WEARING HIS SILVER , SHINING ARMOUR AND WAVING
G HIS TEN FOOT LANCE EAGERLY IN MY DIRECTION . $
WHAT I DO IS MY AFFAIR ENTIRELY AND NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU .
 $
03 NO . $
02 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ? $
03 I CAME TO SEE YOU . $
02 YOU WANT TO GO TO BED ? $
YOU ALWAYS DID . $
HARDLY INSIDE THE DOOR AND IT WAS - ' TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES
- GET INTO BED ' - AND GETTING OUT AGAIN - ' SORRY , LOVE -
CAN'T STAY LONG TONIGHT - THEY 'RE EXPECTING ME HOME EARLY '
 . $
HOW ARE THEY ALL AT HOME ? $
I SHOULD HAVE ASKED . $
HOW VERY FORGETFUL OF ME ! $
WHAT 'S-HER-NAME - YOUR LOVING , FORGIVING WIFE - HOW IS SHE
 ? $
03 JACKIE ... $
02 I KNOW WHAT HER NAME IS . $
03 SHE 'S WELL . $
02 AND THE CHILDREN - HOW ARE THEY ? $
03 THEY 'RE ALL RIGHT . $
02 WERE THEY HAPPY - GETTING YOU BACK ? $
NO . $
THEY DIDN'T EVER KNOW YOU 'D LEFT - RIGHT ? $
'COURSE , YOU DIDN'T LEAVE - PHYSICALLY - LEAVE ! - DID YOU
? $
THAT 'S THE IMPORTANT THING . $
PRESENCE - PHYSICAL PRESENCE - NEVER MIND WHERE THE HEAD IS
- WHERE THE THOUGHTS GO - THE BODY - WALKING INTO THE HOUSE
AT NIGHT - PLAYING WITH THE KIDS - SITTING AT DINNER - IN FR
ONT OF THE TELLY - LYING IN BED - MAYBE - FUCKING - YES ? $
03 I WANTED TO LEAVE THEM . $
I THOUGHT I COULD . $
I WASN'T AS STRONG - I WASN'T - STRONG ENOUGH . $
02 YOU LEFT ME . $
03 I THOUGHT I WAS . $
02 I THINK - IT TOOK STRENGTH - DIDN'T IT ? $
LEAVING ME ? $
03 IT WAS SO EASY . $
02 BASTARD ! $
03 ISN'T IT ALWAYS EASY - RUNNING AWAY ? $
02 OH , YES - I REMEMBER . $
CHRIST ALMIGHTY - YES ! $
YOU 'RE GOING TO EXPLAIN TO ME , AREN'T YOU - WHY IT WAS EAS
Y - LEAVING ME - DIFFICULT - GOING BACK TO THEM - AND WHY YO
U HAD TO DO THE DIFFICULT THING - RIGHT ? $
YOU BLOODY MARTYR-SAINT ! $
I HAVE TO UNDERSTAND - ACCEPT - IT WAS EASY TO LEAVE ME - YO
U - ARE GOING TO MAKE ME UNDERSTAND . $
YOU - GO FUCK YOURSELF ! $
YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME FEEL STUPID . $
JUST - IN BED AND I MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD - THEN - YOU CAN BE G
ENEROUS . $
YOU CAN TELL ME - LOVE . $
YOU CAN GIVE - AND NOT EXPLAIN - MAKE ME UNDERSTAND ALL THE
GIVING MEANS - TO YOU - TO ME - THE MEANING ! $
I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ! $
I HAVE CHANGED . $
THINGS - HAVE CHANGED . $
I 'M NOT SURE THERE 'S ANY PLACE FOR YOU HERE . $
I DON'T THINK IT EXISTS ANY MORE . $
I THINK IT WAS SMASHED - I THINK - WE QUESTIONED TOO MUCH -
SMOTHERED - WHATEVER IT WAS - LOVE - AND NOW - THERE 'S NOTH
ING LEFT . $
TRUTHFULLY , I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST GO AWAY . $
03 CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING - FIRST - BEFORE I GO ? $
I WILL GO - IF YOU WANT ME TO - IF YOU SEND ME AWAY . $
02 THAT ISN'T FAIR . $
03 I CAME TO SAY SOMETHING I DIDN'T SAY THAT NIGHT - SOMETHI
NG THERE WASN'T TIME TO SAY ... $
NO . $
THAT ISN'T TRUE . $
SOMETHING I COULDN'T SAY . $
IT WAS BAD ENOUGH ALREADY . $
02 YES . $
03 I DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE IT WORSE BY TELLING YOU I NEEDED TI
ME TO THINK . $
I NEEDED TIME - TO FIND OUT IF I HAD TO STAY WITH THEM - IF
 I COULD STAY - AND IF I COULDN'T - THEN - WHAT ELSE TO DO .
 . $
02 YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THINKING . $
03 NO . $
02 YOU WENT AWAY . $
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU MIGHT COME BACK - WHEN YOU 'D HAD TIM
E TO THINK . $
03 I DIDN'T KNOW . $
02 I COULD HAVE WAITED . $
03 I COULDN'T ASK YOU TO WAIT ... $
02 I WISH YOU HAD . $
03 ... UNTIL I KNEW - UNTIL I WAS CERTAIN ... $
02 OH , GOD . $
03 ... I COULDN'T . $
02 YOU SHOULD 'VE - REALLY , LOVE - THAT 'S WHAT YOU SHOULD
HAVE DONE . $
I NEED A DRINK . $
03 THERE 'S SOMETHING ELSE I WANT TO SAY . $
02 COULDN'T IT WAIT ? $
I 'M HAVING A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF TROUBLE ACCEPTING THE STORY
SO FAR - MUCH MORE EXCITEMENT - I MIGHT JUST FAINT AWAY . $
YOU KNOW HOW SUSCEPTIBLE I AM TO STORIES OF MYSTERY AND SUSP
ENSE . $
03 NOW - I AM CERTAIN . $
I WANTED TO TELL YOU . $
02 YOU 'RE CERTAIN ? $
03 YES . $
02 WELL - THAT ONLY LEAVES ME TO ASK ... $
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW . $
CERTAIN ABOUT WHAT ? $
03 I WANT TO LIVE WITH YOU . $
LIVE HERE - WITH YOU - LIVE ANYWHERE . $
02 NO . $
YOU CAN'T - CHRIST ! $
OH , CHRIST ! $
03 JULIE ! $
02 LET GO OF ME . $
GET AWAY FROM ME . $
DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU 'RE SAYING ? $
GOD IN HEAVEN - IT ISN'T - HAPPENING . $
I DON'T BELIEVE ... $
LIVE WITH ME ? $
03 YES . $
02 DANM' YOU ! $
03 PLEASE - JULIE - I DIDN'T MEAN ... $
02 DON'T COME NEAR ME . $
DON'T - MOST OF ALL ! - DON'T TOUCH ME . $
03 SHALL I GO AWAY ? $
02 I DON'T WANT YOU GO AWAY . $
#62 $
03 I CAN COME BACK . $
WE CAN TALK TOMORROW . $
I DON'T WANT TO UPSET YOU . $
02 WHAT SORT OF SENSE IS THAT ? $
03 IF I 'D HAD ANY IDEA ... $
02 DID YOU THINK - I SUPPOSE ... $
YES , YOU DID . $
YOU THOUGHT I 'D BE JUST ENCHANTED . $
FALL INTO YOUR ARMS WITH SHRILL SQUEALS OF DELIGHT . $
ISN'T EVERYONE SIMPLY RAVISHED WHEN YOU WALK INTO THEIR DREA
RY LIVES ? $
03 I THOUGHT YOU 'D BE HAPPY , RATHER THAN SAD . $
02 TIME PASSES , ALAN . $
PEOPLE HAVE TO LIVE THE BEST WAY THEY CAN . $
I DON'T THINK IT 'S VERY PRACTICAL , LOVE . $
NO - I DON'T THINK IT 'S AT ALL A GOOD IDEA - YOU - MOVING I
N HERE . $
FOR ONE THING - MY LANDLADY WOULD NEVER APPROVE . $
SHE GIVES ME A PRETTY HARD TIME AS IT IS . $
AND YOU - ANYWAY - I HARDLY SEEM TO KNOW YOU . $
JUST THE OTHER DAY I WAS TRYING TO REMEMBER WHAT YOU LOOKED
LIKE . $
I GOT YOU CONFUSED WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER PEOPLE . $
SORRY ABOUT THAT - STILL - IT 'S BETTER YOU KNOW THE WORST -
RATHER THAN GO ON - HOPING . $
THE BEST THING - THRUTHFULLY - VERY MUCH THE BEST THING - WE
 SHOULD SAY - GOODBYE - AND FORGET THIS WHOLE THING HAPPENED
 . $
03 HOW DO YOU PLAN TO FORGET IT ? $
YOU HAVEN'T DONE TOO WELL SO FAR - FORGETTING . $
IT 'S ALMOST A YEAR . $
YOU KEEP SAYING IT IS AND I 'M SURE YOU 'RE RIGHT . $
IT 'S AS CLEAR NOW AS IT WAS THEN - CLEAR AND PAINFUL - ISN'
T IT ? $
02 LET ME GO . $
03 WHY WON'T YOU EVEN LET YOURSELF CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY
OF MY LIVING HERE - LIVING WITH YOU ? $
02 YOU 'RE HURTING MY WRISTS . $
03 IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE ? $
WAS THAT REALLY YOUR BROTHER ? $
YOUR FATHER IS DEAD . $
I 'M SURE HE IS . $
YOU TOLD ME HE WAS . $
IS HE YOUR BROTHER ? $
02 BROTHER - SISTER - DISTANT COUSIN FROM AUSTRALIA - WHAT T
HE HELL DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE . $
I SAID HE 'S MY BROTHER . $
AS FAR AS YOU 'RE CONCERNED - HE IS . $
YOU HAVE CHANGED . $
YOU HURT ME . $
YOU WERE ANGRY - MAYBE - JEALOUS ? $
AND YOU HURT ME . $
03 WHY CAN'T WE TALK ? $
02 WE CAN TALK . $
SIT DOWN . $
I 'LL MAKE SOME COFFEE . $
THAT 'S NOT A BAD IDEA . $
WHY DON'T I MAKE US A CUP OF COFFEE ? $
03 JULIE ? $
02 OPEN THE DOORS AGAIN - LET YOU BACK INSIDE MY HEAD - MAYB
E - I 'LL NEVER GET YOU OUT . $
I CAN'T TRUST YOU , LOVE . $
YOU WENT AWAY . $
YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T - ALL THE SAME - YOU DID . $
03 I TRIED TO EXPLAIN . $
02 I KNOW - AND YOU WERE VERY FAIR . $
YOU COULD 'VE WRITTEN A LETTER - PHONED . $
YOU CAME AND TOLD ME . $
' COURSE , YOU WOULD . $
THAT 'S PART OF THE THING - YOUR WHOLE THING - A MAN STANDS
STRAIGHT - TAKES HIS MEDICINE - FACES UP ... $
I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND . $
I HURT A LOT - AND I CRIED - AFTER YOU LEFT . $
I USED TO CRY ALL THE TIME . $
IT GOT RIDICULOUS . $
BUSES AND TRAINS - RESTAURANTS - ONCE - I WAS HOME - TALKING
 TO MY MOTHER - I STARTED TO CRY . $
I SAID I 'D LOST MY JOB , I WAS WORRIED ABOUT THE RENT . $
SHE GAVE ME A COUPLE OF QUID - PATTED ME ON THE HEAD AND TOL
D ME - ' DON'T WORRY ' . $
POOR OLD THING . $
I WANTED TO TELL HER - 'ALAN 'S LEFT ME . $
GONE BACK TO HIS WIFE ' . $
OH , GOD ! $
EVERYTHING THERE WAS - I GAVE IT TO YOU - AND YOU WENT AWAY
- AND I DIDN'T HAVE IT ANY MORE . $
I COULDN'T GIVE IT TO ANYONE ELSE - D' YOU UNDERSTAND ? $
I GAVE IT TO YOU - THAT - WHATEVER IT IS - INSIDE THING - RE
AL THING - TRUTHFUL - ME THING - YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU HAV
E . $
LEFT ON YOUR OWN - TRYING WITH SOMEONE ELSE - YOU FIND - IT
DOESN'T HAPPEN - NOTHING HAPPENS . $
HE 'S ALL THE WAY INSIDE YOU - EVERYTHING 'S THE SAME - SEEM
S TO BE THE SAME - THE NOISES IN YOUR HEAD - THE ANGER - ALL
 THE STRUGGLING - VIOLENCE - ONLY - YOU DON'T FEEL - THERE I
SN'T - LOVE . $
I USED TO CRY ALL THE TIME . $
ISN'T THAT RIDICULOUS ? $
OH , YOU ! $
GOD HELP US ! $
YOU 'RE A PUSH-OVER FOR ANY SOB STORY . $
YOU WATCH THE OLD MOVIES ON THE TELLY - YES ? $
LESLIE HOWARD - PAINTING HIS LAST GREAT MASTERPIECE - STRUGG
LING AGAINST BLINDNESS , INSANITY - AND THE MEN TAKING AWAY
ALL THE FURNITURE . $
MERLE OBERON BESIDE HIM - HER ARMS OUTSTRECHED - 'DON'T TAKE
 THE CANVAS . $
LEAVE HIM THE CANVAS . $
AT LEAST ... ' $
OR WAS IT RONALD COLMAN ? $
YOU STAND UP WHEN THEY PLAY THE NATIONAL ANTHEM - RIGHT ? $
TAKE OFF YOUR HAT , WALKING PAST THE CENOTAPH . $
STAND IN LINE TO WAVE AT THE QUEEN - ALL THOSE GOOD THINGS !
 $
YOU REALLY BELIEVE MARY MAGDALENE WENT STRAIGHT AFTER HE DIE
D - DIDN'T GO BACK ON THE GAME ? $
I 'LL BET YOU BELIEVE IN GOD . $
ALL THIS - YOU KNOW - IT 'S JUST - WILL I GO TO BED WITH YOU
 ? $
I WILL . $
I WANT TO . $
I LIKE GOING TO BED WITH YOU . $
I ALWAYS DID . $
02 WE CAN GET INTO BED AND MAKE LOVE . $
WHEN IT 'S DARK - YOU GO HOME - AND NO REGRETS . $
SOMETHING GOOD WE CAN BOTH REMEMBER - LOVE - LIKE IT USED TO
 BE - AND NO REGRETS . $
LIKE THE SONG SAYS . $
I PROMISE I WON'T EXPECT - AFTERWARDS - YOU WON'T HAVE TO ST
AY . $
ALAN - FOR GOD'S SAKE ! $
HOW BLOODY NOBLE DO I HAVE TO BE ? $
YOU WANT ME - YES ? $
03 NO . $
02 YOU WANT THE PERSON I WAS BEFORE YOU LEFT - AND I 'M NOT
THAT PERSON . $
I CAN'T BE . $
I WON'T ASK HIM IN . $
MUST BE SOMEONE AT THE FRONT DOOR . $
I 'LL JUST BE A MOMENT . $
GOD KNOWS WHAT THAT WAS ALL ABOUT ! $
SOME CRAZY LADY - THOUGHT SHE WANTED THIS FLAT - PRESSED THE
 BELL . $
TURNS OUT - NO - SHE DOESN'T . $
MUST HAVE THE WRONG ADDRESS ALTOGETHER . $
VERY STRANGE - AND NOT AT ALL INTERESTING . $
I 'M GOING TO MAKE SOME COFFEE . $
03 I THINK YOU 'RE RIGHT , JULIE . $
I THINK I 'D BETTER GO . $
WE CAN'T TALK . $
WE DON'T EVEN SEEM ... $
I DON'T THINK WE EVEN LIKE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH . $
#63 $
SHE WAS A BIT SHATTERED - SEEING ME . $
I THOUGHT SHE WAS - COULD 'VE BEEN MY OVER-WROUGHT IMAGINATI
ON . $
I SUPPOSE - SHE EXPECTED SOMEONE - NOT ME - AND WHEN I OPENE
D THE DOOR ... $
... SORT OF A SHOCK . $
AM I BORING YOU BY ANY WILD CHANCE ? $
03 WHAT WAS HER NAME ? $
02 SHE DIDN'T TELL ME HER NAME . $
03 DID YOU KNOW HER ? $
02 NEVER SEEN HER IN MY LIFE BEFORE . $
03 SHE MUST 'VE KNOWN YOU . $
AT LEAST - RECOGNISED YOUR NAME . $
02 WHY ? $
03 SHE RANG THE BELL BESIDE YOUR NAME . $
02 AND THERE 'S A WHOLE BUNCH OF BELLS OUT THERE SHE HAD TO
CHOOSE FROM . $
03 THEREFORE ... $
02 BRILLIANT ! $
YOU SEE - WHEN YOU TRY - WE CAN HAVE AN ORDINARY CONVERSATIO
N - JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE . $
CUPS AND THINGS . $
BISCUIT ? $
03 NO . $
THANKS . $
02 DID YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO EAT ? $
03 WHAT DID YOU SAY ? $
02 BEFORE YOU CAME HERE - DID YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO EAT ? $
NO - YOU DIDN'T . $
OH , WELL - THAT 'S YOUR BAD LUCK . $
DAVY ATE JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING I HAD - INCLUDING TOMORROW'S
LUNCH . $
03 WHAT DID SHE SAY ? $
WHEN YOU OPENED THE DOOR ... $
02 THAT 'S ENOUGH TALK ABOUT CRAZY LADIES . $
WHY DID YOU COME BACK ? $
HELP YOURSELF TO SUGAR . $
WHAT DID YOU THINK ? $
WE COULD PICK UP AGAIN - WHERE YOU LEFT OFF ? $
03 NO . $
YES . $
I SUPPOSE - SOME PART OF ME MUST HAVE THOUGHT ... $
YES . $
TRUTHFULLY - I THOUGHT WE COULD JUST GO ON . $
I HAD TO - OTHERWISE , I DON'T IMAGINE I WOULD HAVE HAD THE
COURAGE - IF I 'D THOUGHT THERE WAS NO HOPE - HOW COULD I CO
ME HERE AND FACE YOU ? $
02 WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING ? $
I 'M REALLY GLAD YOU DID . $
03 I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE DIFFICULT . $
I KNOW WHAT 'S HAPPENED TO ME THIS LAST YEAR - IF ANYTHING L
IKE THAT 'S HAPPENED TO YOU ... $
I HAD TO HOPE WE MIGHT REMEMBER ENOUGH - STILL FEEL ENOUGH -
 SO WE COULD MAKE THE EFFORT AND FORGIVE - YOU - FORGIVE ME
. $
ONE THING I DIDN'T ALLOW FOR - ACTING OUT THE SCENE BEFORE I
 GOT HERE - WHAT YOU 'D SAY - YOU KNOW ? - WHAT I 'D SAY . $
I DIDN'T ANTICIPATE YOU MIGHT BE ENTERTAINING . $
02 SITTING AND WAITING . $
ALMOST A YEAR - AND STILL HOPING . $
POOR BUTTERFLY ! $
03 IS HE YOUR BROTHER ? $
SORRY . $
I SHOULDN'T ASK . $
02 NO . $
HE 'S NOT MY BROTHER . $
03 I THOUGHT - EITHER YOU 'D BE HERE AND ON YOUR OWN - OR EL
SE - YOU 'D BE OUT AND I 'D HAVE TO WAIT . $
02 YOU WOULD HAVE WAITED ? $
03 IS HE IMPORTANT ? $
02 HE'S SO UNIMPORTANT - HE HARDLY EXISTS . $
03 HE WAS HERE . $
02 HE WAS HERE LAST NIGHT AS WELL - FOR THE FIRST TIME . $
TONIGHT - FOR THE LAST TIME . $
IF YOU 'D COME AROUND JUST THAT BIT SOONER , LOVE - HE MIGHT
 NOT HAVE BEEN HERE AT ALL . $
IF I 'D HAD ANY IDEA . $
03 I COULDN'T COME BACK ANY SOONER . $
02 NO . $
WELL ... $
03 AND THE WEEKEND ? $
SOMETHING - YOU PROMISED - FOR THE WEEKEND . $
02 SO - I 'LL BREAK A PROMISE . $
I 'M NOT THAT BLOODY SPECIAL , LOVE - I CAN'T BREAK A PROMIS
E . $
PARTICULARLY , A PROMISE MADE IN THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES . $
THERE ISN'T A COURT IN THE LAND - ETC. , ETC. , ETC ! $
DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ? $
03 WHY DID YOU LIE ? $
02 WHY D' YOU THINK ? $
03 YOU DIDN'T WANT ME TO KNOW ? $
02 RIGHT ! $
ABSO-BLOODY-LUTELY RIGHT ! $
GIVE THE MAN A PRIZE . $
ANY PRIZE FROM THE BOTTOM SHELF - IF YOU 'LL PARDON THE EXPR
ESSION ! $
03 WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE - KNOWING OR NOT KNOWING - W
HY SHOULD YOU CARE ? $
02 PRIDE . $
THERE IS SUCH A THING ... $
I 'D RATHER - IF YOU HAD TO FIND SOMEONE HERE - IT SHOULD BE
SOMEONE I LIKE - SOMEONE YOU MIGHT - JUST POSSIBLY - IN THE
UNLIKELY EVENT YOU GOT TO KNOW HIM - SOMEONE YOU MIGHT LIKE
. $
NOT THAT MIND-BLOWN , SEMI-LITERATE SUB-HUMAN ! $
CHRIST ! $
03 WHAT ? $
WHAT IS IT ? $
02 I 'M DEFENDING MYSELF . $
BRINGING OUT EXCUSES - ALL THE JUSTIFICATIONS ... $
03 THERE 'S NO REASON ... $
02 I KNOW THAT ! $
HOW LONG IS IT YOU 'VE BEEN HERE - AND ALREADY ... $
HOW DO YOU DO THAT ? $
WHAT IS IT - MAKES ME FEEL SO GUILTY ? $
INSTANT GUILT ! $
YOUR OWN AND VERY SPECIAL SECRET WEAPON . $
THAT SEEMING INNOCENCE - HIGH-MINDED MORAL CHASTITY ! $
LOVE - WHEN YOU WERE INNOCENT , THEY STILL HAD TRAMS ON THE
EMBANKMENT - GIRLS WORE DRESSES AND THE FELLAS WORE PANTS .
$
YOU MAKE ME FEEL I 'VE COMMITTED SINS I 'VE NEVER EVER HEARD
  OF . $
EVERYTHING - A SIN - DELIBERATELY DONE TO HURT YOU - BRUISE
YOUR SWEET SENSITIVE SOUL . $
HOW DO YOU DO THAT ? $
GOD IN HEAVEN - ARE YOU SO PURE ? $
03 YOU DON'T HAVE TO DEFEND YOURSELF . $
02 HAVE YOU BEEN FAITHFUL ? $
FORGET WHAT 'S-HER-NAME . $
I DON'T COUNT HER . $
MALE OR FEMALE ? $
MOST LIKELY FEMALE . $
SOME DOLLY AT THE OFFICE . $
NEW - SINCE I WAS THERE - RIGHT ? $
LOOKED AT YOU TWICE AND READ THE SIGNS ALL WRONG ? $
THOUGHT YOU WANTED HER - THE SILLY BITCH - AND NOT THE ALL-C
ONSUMING NOTHINGNESS BETWEEN HER LEGS . $
DID YOU TELL WHAT'S-HER-NAME ? $
NO - OF COURSE NOT ! $
WHY SHOULD YOU ? $
IT WASN'T ANYTHING YOU MEANT TO LAST . $
NO REASON YOU SHOULD HURT - I KNOW YOU - IF IT ISN'T GOING T
O LAST - IF THERE 'S NO DANGER SHE 'LL FIND OUT - SURELY , I
T 'S BETTER - WHAT THE EYE CAN'T SEE ... $
WHAT DID YOU TELL THE DOLLY ? $
DID YOU TELL HER - 'THIS IS TO DO WITH ME , LOVE - NOTHING T
O DO WITH YOU ' ? $
DID YOU SAY - ' IF I WAS MORE HONEST - I 'D STAY HOME AND HA
VE MYSELF - BUT THAT 'S SO NASTY , FURTIVE , GUILTY AND SORD
DID - AND THIS SWEET , UGLY SICKNESS - HAVING MYSELF IN YOU
... ' $
03 NO , JULIE - DON'T ... $
02 ' ... THIS IS THE GAME - PART OF THE GAME ... ' $
03 PLEASE ! $
02 ' ... I 'LL USE YOU - AND YOU - USE ME ... ' $
03 DON'T DO THIS - TO US . $
02 STOP ME . $
MAKE ME STOP . $
I LOVE YOU . $
ALAN - I LOVE YOU . $
#64 $
I 'VE BEEN ANGRY FOR SO LONG AND I WAS NEVER ANGRY . $
LONELY - YES - AND SOMETIME - LOST - NOT ANGRY - WITH THIS A
LMOST UNCONTROLLABLE DESIRE TO HURT - TO TORTURE - EVEN KILL
 ! $
THE TIMES I 'VE KILLED YOU - WANTED TO DESTROY - AND ALWAYS
IN SUCH HIDEOUS ... $
WHY DID YOU GO AWAY ? $
03 I RAN AWAY , JULIE - MOSTLY FROM MYSELF . $
IF WHAT YOU ARE DISGUSTS YOU - THE MAN YOU ARE - HOW CAN YOU
 LIVE WITH ANY HOPE OF EVER BEING - KNOWING - HAPPINESS - OR
 PEACE ? $
NO - YOU CAN ONLY PUNISH - PROVE TO YOURSELF - YES - I AM DI
SGUSTING . $
THERE IS SOME SATISFACTION ... $
I THOUGHT IT WAS MEANT . $
I THOUGHT - THIS IS THE MAN YOU ARE - THE LIFE YOU 'VE MADE
- AND NOW - ACCEPT IT . $
WHAT DID YOU EXPECT ? $
WHAT RIGHT HAVE YOU - HAS ANYONE ! - EXPECTING THE LIFE THEY
 WANT - PERHAPS - THINK THEY DESERVE ? $
I CAUGHT MYSELF THINKING - IF I 'M SO SPECIAL - AND I AM ! -
 HOW IS IT NO ONE SEES ? $
I LIVED TEN YEARS - AND EVERY DAY LIES , DECEIT , PRETENCE -
 AND ENDLESS LITTLE INSINCERITIES . $
I HAD AFFAIRES - PATHETIC , CRUEL AFFAIRES . $
WOMEN , AT FIRST - THEN GIRLS - BECAUSE THE WOMEN ASKED - EX
PECTED - MORE THEN I COULD GIVE THEM - TIME AND CONSIDERATIO
N - AND THE GIRLS - THEY DIDN'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY . $
THEY HAD THE TIME TO PASS - AND PASSING IT WITH ME - IT WASN
'T PAINFUL - SOMETIMES BORING , I SUPPOSE - BUT THERE WERE C
OMPENSATIONS . $
I ALWAYS BOUGHT THEM PRESENTS - AND THEY DIDN'T KNOW I WASN'
T REALLY THERE - I WASN'T EVER THERE . $
ANY MORE - I THINK - THAN JACKIE KNEW . $
THERE WAS EXCITEMENT - RUNNING FROM BED TO BED - AND - YES -
 A SENSE OF POWER - ABLE TO HAVE - NO - NOT ANY WOMAN I MIGH
T CHOOSE - BUT I WAS CAREFUL AND I CHOSE WITHOUT MUCH RISK T
HEY WOULD REFUSE - AND SO - COULD TELL MYSELF - WITH ANYONE
I CHOSE . $
MUCH MORE IMPORTANT - SLEEPING WITH STRANGERS - I COULD MAKE
 ANSWER TO THE QUESTION - WHY - WITH MY WIFE - WITH JACKIE -
 WHY DON'T I FEEL DESIRE - WHY CAN'T I MAKE MYSELF ENJOY - W
HY ? - AND IN ALL THE OTHER BEDS - THINKING OF HER - I COULD
D TELL MYSELF - IF ANYONE 'S AT FAULT , IT SURELY ISN'T ME .
 $
I PLAYED SO MANY GAMES WITH TRUTH I LOST ALL SENSE OF HONEST
Y . $
I MADE A SHADOW OF TIME ACCOUNTED FOR - EXCUSE VERIFIED - EV
NINGS SPENT IN SOME WILD , FANTASY EXISTENCE - HALF-TRUTH AN
D TOTAL FABRICATION . $
BUSINESS TRIPS - LATE DINNERS - ENTERTAINING GUESTS IN TOWN
- VISITING EXECUTIVES - I HAD A MADNESS IN MY HEAD . $
I NEVER TOLD THE TRUTH TO ANYONE . $
I LOST ALL REAL INTEREST IN AFFAIRES - ONLY THE SCHEMING - P
LOTTING AND CONTRIVING - WANDERING - IN THIS THICK-GROWING M
AZE OF SELF-DECEPTION - AND ESCAPE . $
ONCE - I ARRANGED AN EVENING ON MY OWN - WITH ALL THE SAME E
LABORATE MECHANISM - TIME TO THINK - FROM SEVEN-THIRTY TO EL
EVEN - TIME - TO STEP BACK AND LOOK AT THIS WHOLE DISTORTED
PATTERN OF REALITY . $
I FOUND - THERE WAS NO ONE IN MY LIFE I TRUSTED . $
NO ONE I COULD LET COME CLOSE - NO ONE COULD EVEN UNDERSTAND
 NO ONE WHO KNEW THE SIMPLE BASIC FACT - MY LIFE - EVERYTHIN
G - WAS PART OF THIS SAME LIE - THIS SLIGHT - BUT CENTRAL !
- DIVERGENCE FROM THE TRUTH . $
I HAD CONTRIVED AN ABSOLUTE ALONENESS FOR MYSELF . $
WHY DID I GO AWAY ? $
YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND , LOVE - AT THIS TIME - TRUTHFULLY ,
I THOUGHT - THIS IS THE LIFE I WANT - AND MOST OF THE TIME -
 ENJOYED IT . $
WHY NOT ? $
IT WAS THE LIFE I MADE . $
I WAS REALLY QUITE HAPPY . $
THE TIME I MET YOU ... $
I LOOK BACK AT THAT TIME AND I THINK - YES - I WAS HAPPY . $
IT WAS A SORT OF DEATH - BUT LOCKED INSIDE - KEEPING MY HEAD
 DOWN AND MY EYES CLOSED - I WAS HAPPY - AND WHY NOT ] $
WHAT 'S SO MUCH BETTER HERE ? $
- OUT HERE ] - $
AND I 'M NOT HAPPY - MORE ALONE - AND ALL THE TIME - AWARE ]
 $
03 I DID COME HERE TONIGHT - THINKING WE COULD MAKE LOVE - A
ND RIGHT AWAY - BEFORE WE TALKED - BEFORE - ANYTHING ! - MAK
E LOVE . $
THAT WAS THE FANTASY - HERE - AT THE FRONT OF MY HEAD - BETW
EEN MY EYES AND YOU - BLANKING OUT THOUGHT - AND ALL CONSIDE
RATION - JUST - THE MEMORY OF EVERY NIGHT WE SPEND HERE . $
02 WE COULD DO THAT . $
WHY DON'T WE ? $
THERE 'S NO REASON WHY WE SHOULN'T . $
COULDN'T WE , ALAN - MAKE LOVE ? $
03 I WENT AWAY - WHEN I BEGAN TO THINK . $
FOR A TIME - REALLY A LONG TIME - I DIDN'T THINK AT ALL . $
02 NO . $
03 HOW DO I MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY ? $
YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO ME - SO INNOCENT . $
02 HELLO . $
I 'M SORRY , LOVE . $
YOU MUST HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER ... $
THAT 'S ALL RIGHT . $
GOODBYE . $
BLOODY TELEPHONE ! $
YOU REMEMBER DAYS YOU GET A RIGHT NUMBER . $
03 YOU GET YOUR SHARE OF WRONG ONES . $
02 YES . $
03 WAS IT DAVY ? $
02 NO , IT WASN'T DAVY . $
IF IT HAD BEEN DAVY - I WOULD 'VE SAID - GET STUFFED AND KNO
TTED - WILL YOU ? $
STOP MESSING ME ABOUT . $
GO FUCK YOURSELF ! $
03 I 'M SORRY . $
02 YOU 'RE ALLOWED . $
THE WHOLE CHARADE WAS PRETTY STUPID . $
I DON'T KNOW WHY - SUDDENLY - IT WAS SO IMPORTANT YOU SHOULD
 THINK HE WAS MY BROTHER - SOMETHING - ANYTHING ! - BUT NOT
- WELL - WHAT HE WAS . $
03 THANK YOU . $
02 OH , NO - NOW - THAT 'S TAKING CHIVALRY TOO FAR - THANKIN
G ME ... $
03 IF IT MEANT THAT MUCH ... $
02 CAN WE - LOOK - FORGET IT HAPPENED ? $
FORGET HE WAS EVER HERE . $
CAN WE ? $
D' YOU KNOW SOMETHING ? $
D' YOU KNOW WHAT THIS PARTY NEEDS ? $
BOOZE ! $
THAT 'S WHAT IT NEEDS. $
I KNOW THAT 'S WHAT I NEED . $
HOW ABOUT YOU ? $
03 I THOUGHT YOU SAID THERE ISN'T A DRINK IN THE HOUSE ? $
02 THE PUBS ARE OPEN . $
MORE THAN HALF AN HOUR TO GO . $
LOVE - WOULD YOU GO DOWN TO THE LOCAL ? $
BUY US A BOTTLE OF SCOTCH . $
03 DO I HAVE TO ? $
02 I 'VE GOT SOME MONEY . $
03 I 'VE GOT MONEY ! $
I DON'T WANT TO MOVE . $
IT 'S WARM HERE AND I 'M COMFORTABLE . $
02 LAZY - THAT 'S WHAT YOU ARE . $
03 I SUPPOSE - I DON'T FEEL MUCH LIKE A DRINK MYSELF ... $
02 SELFISH - AND LAZY ! $
03 IF YOU INSIST ... $
02 I INSIST . $
I CAN USE THE TIME TO TIDY UP A BIT . $
03 TIDY UP WHAT ? $
02 THE FLAT . $
IT 'S LIKE A PIGSTY . $
03 LOOKS FINE TO ME . $
NEAT AND TIDY . $
02 SHIPSHAPE AND BRISTOL FASHIN ! $
DON'T LOOK UNDER THE BED . $
THE DUST 'LL CHOKE YOU . $
YOU 'RE NOT INTENDING TO SPRING CLEAN ? $
#65 $
02 FIVE MINUTES - YOU WON'T KNOW THE PLACE . $
03 JULIE - YOU 'RE GLAD - YES ? $
02 YES . $
03 ONE BOTTLE OF SCOTCH ? $
02 SOME GINGER ALE ? $
03 SODA ? $
02 NO - I 'VE SOME SODA . $
03 RIGHT . $
WHY DON'T I WANT TO GO ? $
02 I 'M SORRY HE WAS HERE . $
03 I WON'T BE LONG . $
02 YOU 'RE ALLOWED FIVE MINUTES . $
TEN - IF YOU STOP FOR A DRINK . $
03 DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE . $
02 I 'M NOT INNOCENT YOU KNOW . $
03 IT 'LL BE ALL RIGHT . $
02 THE NIGHT YOU LEFT - AFTER YOU LEFT ... $
I 'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT SOME TIME - IF YOU REALLY WANT T
O HEAR . $
GO AND BUY THE SCOTCH . $
03 WHERE IS THE LOCAL ? $
I 'VE FORGOTTEN . $
02 LEFT - AS YOU GET OUTSIDE . $
IT 'S ON THE CORNER - 'BOUT A HUNDRED YARDS . $
03 I 'LL FIND IT . $
02 HERE . $
YOU 'LL NEED A KEY . $
03 THANKS . $
02 AFTER YOU LEFT - I WALKED FOR AN HOUR - LONGER - I DON'T
KNOW EXACTLY . $
I WENT TO YOUR HOUSE . $
I STOOD IN THE STREET AND WATCHED . $
MICHAEL CAME HOME AND BETTY WENT TO BED . $
THE LIGHTS WENT OUT DOWNSTAIRS . $
I SAW YOU GO TO BED - AND WHEN YOU SWITCHED THE LIGHT OUT IN
 YOUR BEDROOM - THEN - I WENT AWAY . $
I SAT IN A CAFE . $
IT WAS ONE O'CLOCK . $
A MAN SPOKE TO ME - ASKED - WAS I ON MY OWN - AND I SAID - Y
ES , I WAS . $
WE SAT FOR A WHILE AND TALKED AND HE SAID - WOULD I GO WITH
HIM ? $
WE LEFT THE CAFE AND WE WALKED TOGETHER - TALKING - HE WAS T
ALKING - AND HE SAID - WOULD I LET HIM FUCK ME ? $
I LOVED YOU , ALAN . $
WE WENT INTO A PARK AND - YES - I LET HIM FUCK ME . $
IT WAS COLD AND THE GRASS WAS VERY WET . $
HE HELD ME - WITH HIS HANDS AROUND MY NECK . $
HE HURT ME - PUSHING INTO ME . $
HIS NAILS TORE THE SKIN ACROSS MY NECK . $
HE TALKED AND TOLD ME ALL THE THINGS HE 'D DO - BUT HE CAME
QUICKLY AND THERE WASN'T TIME . $
HE LEFT ME THEN . $
HE WENT AWAY . $
HE DIDN'T SPEAK TO ME . $
I COULDN'T GO BACK HOME . $
I ASKED A FRIEND - DID HE HAVE ROOM ? $
COULD I SLEEP THERE - MAYBE ON THE COUCH ? $
COME ON - HE SAID - OF COURSE THERE 'S ROOM - AND I WENT IN
. $
NO REASON WE SHOULD MAKE YOU SLEEP IN THERE - HE SAID - THE
FIRE 'S GONE OUT AND IT 'S SO BLOODY COLD . $
YOU COME AND SLEEP WITH ME . $
I COULDN'T LET HIM FUCK ME - AND HE SAID - WHAT DO YOU THINK
 THIS IS , LOVE ? $
YOU SLEEP HERE - YOU PAY THE RENT . $
I TOOK HIM IN MY MOUTH . $
HE CAME - AND WENT TO SLEEP . $
I STAYED THERE - BUT I COULDN'T SLEEP - AND IN THE MORNING -
 SOON AS IT WAS LIGHT - I WENT AWAY . $
WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME ? $
WHY DID YOU GO AWAY ? $
IT 'S YOUR FAULT - YOUR FAULT ! $
GOD IN HEAVEN - WHY DID YOU LET ME ? $
I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THOSE THINGS . $
I DIDN'T WANT TO LET THEM FUCK ME . $
THEY WERE STRANGERS . $
I DIDN'T KNOW THEIR NAMES . $
WHY WEREN'T YOU HERE TO STOP ME , ALAN ? $
IF YOU 'D BEEN HERE ... $
THEY WERE ALL FRIENDS - GOOD FRIENDS - I KNEW THEM - REALLY
QUITE WELL - AND THEY SAID - ' JULIE - WE 'RE HAVING A PARTY
 . $
YOU 'RE THE GUEST OF HONOUR ' - AND THEY LAUGHED . $
I WENT TO THE PARTY WITH THEM AND , OF COURSE , THERE WASN'T
 ANY PARTY . $
IT WAS A GAME THEY WERE PLAYING WITH ME - AND I KNEW . $
LOVE - I KNEW IT WAS A GAME . $
I ALWAYS KNEW ! $
I KNEW WHAT THEY HAD PLANNED AND THAT WAS MY GAME - PLAYED A
GAINST THEM - KNOWING - AND LETTING IT HAPPEN ANYWAY . $
THEY HAD THIS PLAN TO RAPE ME . $
TWO OF THEM HOLDING - TWO OF THEM WATCHING - ONE OF THEM - A
ND I LAUGHED . $
WHAT DID THEY THINK - RAPE ? $
WHAT WAS THERE LEFT TO RAPE ? $
THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE SO WICKED - PULLING OFF MY CLOTHES -
DISSOLUTE - DEPRAVED ! $
' SHIT , DARLING - I 'VE BEEN FUCKED ' I SAID ' IN DIRTY LAV
ATORIES - BY MEN WHO WOULD JUST AS SOON FUCK SHEEP . ' $
' I 'VE BEEN SPREAD ACROSS TABLES IN TRANSPORT CAFES ... ' $
' ... FUCKED IN THE DARK BY FRIGHTENED LITTLE MEN ... ' $
' ... FUCKED IN BROAD DAYLIGHT - NEARLY TORN IN HALF ... $
03 WHAT IS IT , JULIE ? $
FOR GOD'S SAKE - WHAT HAPPENED ? $
02 LOVE ME , ALAN - PLEASE - MAKE LOVE . $
02 LOVE . $
03 THANKS . $
02 SINCE I LEFT HOME I 'VE ALWAYS LIVED IN ROOMS - HIDEOUS F
URNISHED ROOMS - LIKE THIS . $
03 WHAT 'S WRONG WITH THIS ? $
02 YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIVE HERE . $
I WANT TO LIVE IN SOME PLACE REALLY NICE - SOME PLACE BELONG
S TO ME - BELONGS TO US - YES ? $
03 YES . $
02 I WANT TO MAKE A HOME FOR YOU . $
03 IF IT COULD 'VE BEEN SOONER - EVEN A DAY ... $
02 THINGS TAKE THE TIME THEY TAKE - RIGHT ? $
JUST SO YOU 'RE CERTAIN NOW . $
03 I 'M CERTAIN . $
02 I DON'T THINK I COULD STAND IT , ALAN - IF YOU DECIDED ..
. $
WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR SLIPPERS ? $
03 IF I 'M GOING TO LIVE HERE , I HAVE TO ANSWER THE PHONE .
 $
02 YOU NEVER WOULD . $
03 I DIDN'T LIVE HERE . $
SHALL I ANSWER . $
02 IF YOU WANT TO - YES - WHY NOT ? $
03 HELLO . $
57974 . $
HELLO , WHO IS IT ? $
THERE 'S NO ONE THERE - AS FAR AS I CAN TELL . $
02 NO POINT HANGING ON THEN . $
03 IS THERE ANYONE THERE ? $
HELLO ? $
WHY DON'T YOU KEEP THE TELEPHONE UP ON A TABLE - SOMEWHERE A
 BIT MORE CONVENIENT ? $
02 YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET CRANKY WITH ME . $
I DIDN'T MAKE THE BLOODY PHONE RING . $
03 THERE WAS SOMEONE THERE . $
I 'M SURE THERE WAS . $
02 THERE USUALLY IS . $
HERE - TAKE YOUR SLIPPERS . $
03 HOW D' YOU MEAN ? $
THERE USUALLY IS ? $
02 DOESN'T EVERYONE GET THAT KIND OF CALL ? $
I GET THEM ALL THE TIME . $
03 WHAT 'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT ? $
02 THE PHONE RINGS - YOU ANSWER - AND THERE 'S NO ONE THERE
. $
EITHER THAT - OR YOUR CROSSLINE . $
THEY CAN BE A LOT OF FUN TOO . $
03 WHEN THE PHONE RANG AND HE WAS HERE ... $
02 DAVY ? $
YES - WHAT ABOUT IT ? $
03 SOMETHING BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU - I THOUGHT . $
02 NOTHING BELIEVE ME . $
03 SOME SORT OF JOKE ? $
02 YOU 'RE THE JOKE ! $
IN GOD'S NAME - GOING ON AND ON ABOUT A STUPID PHONE CALL -
JUST 'CAUSE SOMEONE GOT THE WRONG NUMBER AND DIDN'T HAVE THE
 SENSE TO SAY SO . $
03 I 'M SORRY . $
02 COULD WE TRY THAT AGAIN ? $
I 'M NOT TOO CONVINCED . $
03 I 'M SORRY . $
02 THAT 'S BETTER . $
03 WHAT MADE YOU HANG ON TO THESE OLD THINGS ? $
SURELY - THEY DON'T FIT YOU ? $
02 DARLING - YOU MUST BE JOKING ! $
DID NO ONE EVER TELL YOU - WHAT BIG FEET YOU HAVE ! $
03 WHY 'D YOU KEEP THEM ? $
02 WELL , NOW - IT COULD BE - I WOULDN'T TELL JUST ANYONE ,
YOU UNDERSTAND - WHERE YOU 'RE CONCERNED , I 'M THAT BIT SLU
SHY . $
YOU WON'T HOLD IT AGAINST ME , WILL YOU ? $
03 ONLY WHEN SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED . $
02 I 'LL PRETEND I DIDN'T HEAR THAT LITTLE JOLLITY . $
03 GOING TO MAKE THE BED ? $
02 NO , I 'M GOING TO SHOOT MYSELF IN THE HEAD . $
WHAT THE HELL DOES IT LOOK LIKE I 'M GOING TO DO . $
03 I 'M SORRY . $
02 I WOULDN'T ADVISE YOU TO SAY - ' ISN'T IT A WASTE OF TIME
 ' - 'CAUSE I MIGHT HAVE TO PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH . $
03 ISN'T THIS RATHER A BIG REACTION TO A VERY SILLY REMARK ?
 $
02 MAYBE . $
IF IT IS - I 'M SORRY . $
I HATE TO SLEEP IN AN UNMADE BED . $
03 JULIE . $
PLEASE - COME HERE ? $
I 'M CLUMSY AND SOMETHIMES I 'M SILLY . $
I DIDN'T MEAN TO UPSET YOU . $
IT WAS A STUPID THING TO SAY . $
02 I CAN'T KEEP ANYTHING BACK - YOU KNOW ? - MAKING LOVE WIT
H YOU - I CAN'T PROTECT MYSELF - AND IF YOU DID TURN ROUND A
ND HURT ME - ACT AS IF - TREAT ME - LIKE SOME SORT OF - TART
 - I COULDN'T STOP YOU - COULDN'T SAVE MYSELF FROM ANYTHING
YOU MIGHT SAY . $
NO - THANKS . $
YOU UNDERSTAND ? $
03 I THINK SO . $
YES - I UNDERSTAND . $
02 IT IS IMPORTANT . $
03 OF COURSE , IT IS . $
02 I CAN 'T STOP FEELING - MAKING LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL FOR US .
 $
IT HAS TO BE . $
03 IT IS . $
02 IF WE MAKE IT DIRTY - FEEL - OBSCENE ... $
03 HOW COULD WE ? $
02 IF WE DID . $
03 I REALLY HAVE MADE YOU VERY SAD . $
02 NO . $
I 'M STUPID . $
OH , FOR PITY'S SAKE ! $
03 WE SHOULD 'VE KEPT THE LIGHT OUT . $
02 DO I HAVE TO ANSWER ? $
03 WILL THEY GO AWAY ? $
02 I DON'T KNOW . $
#67 $
I 'LL HAVE TO ANSWER . $
CAN'T LET THEM WAKE THE LANDLADY - AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT . $
03 PUT SOMETHING ON YOUR FEET . $
02 YES , DAD . $
03 IF IT 'S SOMEONE YOU KNOW ... $
02 IT 'D BETTER BE SOMEONE I KNOW . $
A STRANGER - I MIGHT JUST PUNCH IN THE MOUTH . $
WHAT SORT OF TIME IS THIS FOR STRANGERS ! $
03 IF YOU WANT TO ASK THEM IN ... $
02 I DON'T ... $
BLOODY PERSISTENT AREN'T THEY ? $
REALLY - YOU THINK I 'D ASK ANYONE ... $
OH , LOVE . $
02 SHE ABSOLUTELY INSISTED YOU WERE HERE , ALAN . $
SHE SAID SHE SPOKE TO YOU ON THE PHONE . $
I DON'T THINK - STRICTLY - THAT 'S QUITE TRUE . $
YOU SPOKE TO HER ... $
03 JACKIE . $
02 SHE DIDN'T SPEAK TO YOU , DID SHE ? $
03 WHAT ARE YOU DOING ? $
04 I FOLLOWED YOU . $
02 MRS. HARRISON - WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO SIT DOWN ? $
YOU MUST BE SO TIRED - STANDING OUT THERE HALF THE NIGHT . $
I KNOW HOW EXHAUSTING THAT CAN BE . $
WON'T YOU SIT DOWN ? $
04 NO . $
02 SUIT YOURSELF . $
03 I DON'T UNDERSTAND , JACKIE . $
FOLLOWED ME ? $
04 WHO IS HE ? $
WHAT IS HAPPENING ? $
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ! $
02 MY NAME 'S JULIAN WESTON . $
YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHER ALREADY , DON'T YOU ? $
04 JULIE . $
02 MY FRIENDS CALL ME JULIE - YES . $
IT 'S SORT OF SWEET , DON'T YOU THINK ? $
04 JULIE ? $
02 NO . $
I 'M JULIE . $
THAT 'S ALAN . $
04 JULIE ! $
02 PLEASE - DO YOU MIND - IT 'S VERY LATE . $
DON'T MAKE TOO MUCH NOISE . $
MY LANDLADY ... $
04 HE IS JULIE ? $
HE WROTE THOSE LETTERS ? $
02 ... DOESN'T ENCOURAGE ... $
LETTERS ? $
04 DID HE WRITE THOSE LETTERS ? $
03 YES . $
04 I READ THEM . $
02 MY LETTERS ? $
YOU READ MY LETTERS ? $
04 GET AWAY FROM ME . $
GET AWAY ! $
02 WHY DID YOU LET HER READ MY LETTERS ? $
WHY DIDN'T YOU KEEP THEM SAFE ? $
THROW THEM AWAY ! - SOONER THAN ... $
04 I THOUGHT AT LEAST YOU HAD A WOMAN HERE . $
I DIDN'T REALISE ... $
03 HERE - LET ME HELP YOU . $
04 DON'T TOUCH ME . $
FILTH ! $
YOU ARE - FILTHY ! $
02 I HAVE A FEELING , LOVE - THIS MIGHT GET SORT OF UGLY . $
04 YOU 'VE BEEN TO BED TOGETHER ? $
YOU 'VE BEEN - WHAT DO YOU CALL IT - SURELY NOT - MAKING LOV
E ? $
IS THAT WHAT YOU 'VE BEEN DOING ? $
02 DARLING - IF YOU CAN'T GET IT - DON'T KNOCK IT . $
03 JACKIE - LET ME TAKE YOU HOME . $
04 WHEN I WANT TO GO HOME , I 'LL FIND MY OWN WAY - THANK YO
U VERY MUCH . $
03 I DON'T SEE THE POINT - STAYING HERE TO FIGHT . $
04 WILL IT UPSET HIM ? $
IS HE SENSITIVE - EASILY BRUISED ? $
02 YOU CAN'T JUST WALK OUT OF HERE . $
03 BE REASONABLE , JULIE ... $
02 YOU CAN'T DO THAT . $
03 TRY TO UNDERSTAND . $
02 NO . $
03 I 'LL JUST TAKE JACKIE HOME . $
02 YOU WON'T COME BACK . $
03 DON'T BE RIDICULOUS . $
02 YOU WON'T . $
03 I HAVE TO TALK TO HER . $
I CAN'T TALK HERE - WITH BOTH OF YOU ... $
04 DO I MAKE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE ? $
02 IT WOULD 'VE BEEN ALL RIGHT - YES ? - IF YOU 'D FOUND HIM
 WITH A GIRL ? $
02 HOW DO YOU KNOW ? $
03 NO - COME ON - WILL YOU ? $
STOP IT ! $
02 ACT LIKE A GENTLEMAN - NICE AND POLITE . $
I 'M NOT A GENTLEMAN . $
I 'M NOT A MAN AT ALL . $
ASK HER . $
SHE 'LL TELL YOU . $
04 YOU MAKE ME FEEL SICK . $
02 WHY ? $
WHAT 'S SO SPECIAL 'BOUT THE WAY YOU FUCK ? $
YOU GET IT IN THE FRONT . $
I GET IT IN THE BACK . $
SOMETIMES - A BIT OF BOTH - AND SO DO YOU . $
WHAT MAKES IT NORMAL - DONE TO YOU - MAKES IT SO SHAMEFUL -
WHEN IT 'S DONE TO ME ? $
03 JULIE - SHUT UP ! $
02 I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO COME HERE . $
I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO COME BACK . $
WHY DON'T YOU - YES ! - IF YOU WANT TO - GO AWAY . $
04 IS HE ALWAYS THIS HYSTERICAL ? $
02 I MAKE YOU SICK ? $
YOU MAKE ME VOMIT BLOOD . $
I KNOW THE LIFE HE HAS WITH YOU . $
I KNOW THE THINGS YOU DO TO HIM . $
YOU THINK HE HASN'T TOLD ME ? $
04 ONE THING - OBVIOUSLY - YOU DON'T KNOW . $
HOW MUCH HE HATES A SCENE . $
02 I KNOW HOW MUCH HE HATES YOU . $
EACH TIME HE COMES HERE - EACH TIME WE MAKE LOVE - HE TELLS
ME - WHAT IT 'S LIKE WITH YOU . $
HOW NOTHING HAPPENS - JUST - THE FANTASIES HE MAKES INSIDE H
IS HEAD . $
#68 $
03 YOU MAKE ME FEEL ASHAMED . $
02 YOU 'RE GOING BACK WITH HER . $
03 WHATEVER I DO - HOW CAN THAT JUSTIFY - TRYING TO DESTROY
- SAYING THINGS DELIBERATELY TO HURT ... $
02 I COULDN'T PUT A MARK ON HER - MUCH LESS DESTROY . $
SHE 'D HAVE TO TAKE ME SERIOUSLY - ADMIT I MIGHT EXIST . $
SHE 'D HAVE TO HEAR THE THINGS I SAY . $
04 I CAN HEAR QUITE CLEARLY . $
02 NO - YOU 'RE REACTING TO A NEW IDEA - ALAN CAN FUCK A FEL
LA . $
YOU DON'T SEE ME - CERTAINLY , DON'T HEAR - JUST ALL THE CLU
TTER IN YOUR HEAD - SCREAMING AND SHOUTING - ' HOW CAN HE DO
 THIS TO ME ? $
HOW CAN HE MAKE ME FEEL SO DIRTY ? $
HOW CAN HE PUT HIMSELF - INSIDE ... ' $
HAVE YOU GOT THAT FAR ? $
OR IS IT STILL - ' WHAT SORT OF IDIOT DOES THIS MAKE ME - LO
VING HIM - GOING TO BED WITH HIM - LETTING HIM FUCK ME - AND
 ALL THE TIME HE WANTED THIS ! ' $
IS THAT MORE LIKE IT ? $
03 JACKIE - I 'LL TAKE YOU HOME . $
02 I 'VE BEEN THERE , DARLING - EVERY TIME HE WENT FROM ME T
O YOU - BACK INTO YOUR BED - I HAD TO THINK - ' HE 'LL FUCK
HER . $
YES - OF COURSE HE WILL . $
HE HAS TO . $
SHE EXPECTS HIM TO . ' $
I TOLD MYSELF - HE COULDN'T WANT TO - VERY LIKELY I WAS WRON
G . $
03 WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO - TALKING LIKE THIS ? $
02 BECAUSE I 'M STUPID - AND NOT SENSITIVE AT ALL - I PUT MY
SELF THROUGH ALL THE MESSY BUSINESS OF YOUR - MAKING LOVE .
$
IS THAT WHAT YOU STILL CALL IT ? $
AFTER ALL THIS TIME ! $
03 JULIE - YOU MUST STOP . $
02 I WANT TO SAVE YOU , ALAN . $
PRESUMPTUOUS OF ME - YES - AND IF I CAN'T - MAYBE - PROTECT
A LITTLE . $
WHEN SHE GETS YOU OUT OF HERE - SHE 'LL BE SO SYMPATHETIC .
$
SHE 'LL SAY - ' DARLING , YOU 'RE SICK - A LITTLE BIT INSANE
 ' - NO - SOME MUCH KINDER WORD . $
UNBALANCED ! $
MEANING THE SAME THING - OUT OF YOUR BLOODY MIND ! $
SHE 'LL TAKE YOU TO A DOCTOR AND THEY 'LL TRY TO CURE YOU -
 'CAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO THINK - THEY CAN'T LET THEMSELVES
 BELIEVE - YOU LOVE ME 'CAUSE YOU LOVE ME ... $
... AND THE MAKING LOVE - SOMETHING WE DO BECAUSE IT MAKES U
S HAPPY . $
LOOK AT HER , LOVE - SHE THINKS WE HAVE SOME SORT OF ORGY HE
RE - AND DO FORBIDDEN THINGS ! $
SHE THINKS YOU WANT TO FUCK ME 'CAUSE IT 'D BE DIFFERENT - S
ICK - PERVERTED - SOME NEW KIND OF THRILL ! $
SHE THINKS IT CAN BE CURED - WITH HELP - AND THE LOVE OF A G
OOD WOMAN ! $
YOU WON'T MAKE ANYTHING CLEAR - TAKING HER AWAY - TALKING TO
 HER - TELLING HER WHERE YOU BOTH WENT WRONG AND WHY IT 'S B
ETTER YOU SHOULD SEPARATE - SHE KNOWS ALL THAT . $
CHRIST ALMIGHTY , ALAN - AREN'T YOU HERE ? $
YOU 'RE SEPARATED . $
MAYBE YOU HAVEN'T TOLD EACH OTHER - YOU 'VE BEEN SEPARATE FO
R YEARS . $
SHE HAS TO KNOW - YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH ME - NOT 'CAUSE I 'M
A FELLA - 'CAUSE YOU ARE IN LOVE . $
04 ALAN - I THINK HE 'S ASKING YOU A QUESTION . $
IT ISN'T - ER - FUCKING - WHAT YOU DO TOGETHER . $
YOU WANT TO THINK IT IS - ALL RIGHT - YOU WANT TO CALL IT TH
AT - IT ISN'T . $
02 NO ? $
04 HE - USES YOU . $
HE ... $
02 BUGGERS ME ? $
YES . $
UNLESS YOU WOULD PERHAPS PREFER TO USE SOME MORE REFINED AND
 TECHNICAL EXPRESSION ? $
SODOMY ? $
YOU WANT TO USE THESE WORDS - YOU HAVE TO SAY THEM WITH LITT
LE LESS CONCERN - MORE CASUAL , DARLING - 'CAUSE THEY ARE TH
E TRUTH OF WHAT WE DO TOGETHER AND THEY SAY MORE CLEARLY WHA
T IT MEANS - TO PUT YOURSELF INSIDE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING - TA
KING HIM - YES - AND USING HIM - FOR YOUR OWN SATISFACTION .
 $
IS THAT WHAT HE DOES TO YOU ? $
THAT 'S WHAT HE DOES TO ME . $
IT GIVES HIM PLEASURE AND IT MAKES ME GLAD . $
I WANT HIM - USING ME . $
03 I WANT THIS ALL TO STOP . $
02 HOW DO YOU THINK IT WILL THEN ? $
DO YOU ANTICIPATE - AN ACT OF GOD ! - IN HIS MERCY - REACHIN
G DOWN TO TAKE YOU UP - OUT OF THIS ' EARTHLY TRAVAIL ' ? $
YOU AND CHRIST - MOSES - AND ISIAIH ! $
04 DID YOU THINK YOU COULD WALK OUT TONIGHT AND - WHAT ? - W
RITE ME A LETTER ! $
I 'M NOT COMING HOME AGAIN . $
GIVE MY LOVE TO THE CHILDREN . $
02 YOU DIDN'T TELL HER ? $
03 I WANTED TIME . $
04 IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED ? $
COMING HERE ? $
02 YOU TOOK TIME - LEAVING ME - THEN - YOU HAD YOUR TIME TO
THINK - AND DECIDED TO COME BACK . $
04 TIME TO THINK ? $
THINK ABOUT WHAT ? $
LEAVING A FAMILY YOU 'VE HAD FOR TWENTY YEARS ? $
HOW LONG DID YOU TAKE - THINKING ABOUT THAT ? $
02 A YEAR - ALMOST . $
04 THINKING - ABOUT YOU ? $
AND ALL THAT TIME - HE HASN'T HAD AFFAIRES ? $
REALLY - YOU THINK ! $
THERE 'S ONE AT LEAST I KNOW ABOUT - AND IF THERE 'S ONE , T
HEN YOU CAN TAKE MY WORD - THERE 'S PLENTY I DON'T KNOW ABOU
T . $
GIVE HIMSELF TIME TO THINK ! $
HE DOESN'T GIVE HIMSELF THE TIME TO CHANGE HIS SHIRT AND CLE
AN HIS SHOES . $
02 YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER . $
03 I SHOULD HAVE LEFT HER FIFTEEN YEARS AGO , WHEN I WAS FIR
ST UNFAITHFUL . $
DON'T TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE ! $
04 FIFTEEN YEARS AGO ? $
03 IF I 'D HAD ANY SENSE , I WOULD HAVE LEFT YOU THEN . $
I KNEW I WOULD . $
I KNEW - SOME DAY ... $
04 WHY DIDN'T YOU LEAVE ME ? $
IF YOU WANTED TO - WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK ME - GOD ! - I WOULD H
AVE TOLD YOU QUICK ENOUGH - GO - YES - GO AWAY . $
D' YOU THINK I WANTED YOU TO STAY - OUT OF PITY - BECAUSE I
HAD THE CHILDREN TO BRING UP ? $
03 YES - THE CHILDREN . $
04 NO ! $
DON'T BLAME THE CHILDREN . $
03 BETTY WAS ONLY ONE YEAR OLD . $
04 WHAT IS SHE NOW ? $
SIXTEEN . $
A RIPE OLD AGE TO SEE HER FATHER TURNING QUEER . $
03 AND MICHAEL - FOUR . $
04 YOU THINK HE 'S READY NOW ? $
YOU 'VE DECIDED HE CAN COPE . $
NINETEEN YEARS OLD - ABLE TO DEAL WITH ANYTHING . $
HIS FATHER - LEAVING HOME - SETTING UP HOUSE WITH A HOMOSEXU
AL NOT MUCH OLDER THAN HE IS HIMSELF . $
03 I COULDN'T LEAVE THEM . $
04 YOU COULD LEAVE ME ! $
02 HE ALREADY HAD . $
04 YOU 'RE SAYING - ALL THIS TIME - YOU STAYED WITH ME , BEC
AUSE OF THE CHILDREN ? $
03 I COULD ONLY THINK - HOW YOUNG ... $
04 BASTARD ! $
03 ... DEFENCELESS ... $
04 YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE LIVING ON YOUR OWN . $
YOU NEVER HAVE - HOW COULD YOU FACE IT THEN ? $
ALONE ! $
IN SIX MONTHS YOU 'D BE MAD - OR DEAD . $
03 I AM ALONE . $
04 ALAN - PLEASE ! $
YOU 'LL HAVE US ALL IN TEARS . $
YOU NEVER LET YOURSELF BE ON YOUR OWN FOR MORE THAN TWENTY M
INUTES - ANY DAY IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE . $
02 LOOK - IF YOU WANT TO TAKE EACH OTHER THROUGH YOUR DISMAL
 MARRIAGE - DAY BY DAY - APPORTIONING PRAISE AND BLAME - I W
OULD MUCH RATHER YOU WENT HOME . $
04 WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE THE LETTERS ALAN WROTE TO ME ? $
JUST ORDINARY LETTERS - WRITTEN WITH ORDINARY LOVE AND FOOLI
SHNESS . $
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE HOW MUCH AFFECTION ALAN HAS FOR ME ? $
AT BEST YOU SHARE HIM WITH ME - AT WORST - BECAUSE OF ME - Y
OU 'LL LOSE HIM . $
IT ISN'T EASY - BREAKING THE HABITS OF MORE THAN TWENTY YEAR
S . $
YOU THINK HE WON'T REMEMBER ? $
YOU THINK HE WON'T REGRET ? $
SOME THINGS - HE MUST REGRET . $
CAN YOU ENTERTAIN YOURSELF - HE SPENDS SO MANY NIGHTS AT WOR
K . $
OBVIOUSLY - SOME OF THOSE NIGHTS HE 'LL SPEND WITH YOU . $
#69 $
BUT - ONLY SOME - HE DOES WORK HARD - AND HE WON'T BE ABLE T
O TAKE LIFE EASY NOW . $
WITH TWO HOMES TO SUPPORT - THE CHILDREN AT THEIR MOST EXPEN
SIVE AGE . $
HAPPILY - THERE WON'T BE ANY MORE . $
OF COURSE , HE WON'T COME BACK TO ME . $
PERHAPS , I WOULDN'T HAVE HIM . $
HE CAN'T STAY HERE WITH YOU . $
YOU 'RE THE EXCUSE HE NEEDS TO LEAVE ME - HIS ' GRAND AMOUR
' ! $
HE 'LL MAKE YOU ACCEPT THE GUILT HE CANNOT EVEN RECOGNISE -
AND WHEN HE DOES - YOU THINK HE 'LL STAY WITH YOU ? $
SURELY - MUCH EASIER - GO ON TO SOMEONE ELSE . $
LEAVE ALL THE GUILT WITH YOU AND RUN AWAY AGAIN . $
AT HIS AGE - FORTY-SEVEN - FORTY-EIGHT NEXT MONTH - CAN HE C
HANGE COMPLETELY - MAKE HIMSELF INTO ANOTHER MAN - AND START
 AGAIN ? $
LIVING WITH SOME OTHER WOMAN - JUST THE GUILT WOULD CRIPPLE
HIM - WITH YOU - THE SHAME - CONTEMPT - DISGUST ON PEOPLE'S
FACES - YOU THINK HE WON'T DESPAIR ? $
02 GO AWAY . $
ALAN - TAKE HER AWAY . $
04 YOU THINK HE NEVER WAS IN LOVE WITH ME ? $
IS THAT WHAT HE TOLD YOU ? $
HE LOVED ME - NOT ONLY WHEN WE MARRIED - YEARS AFTER THAT AN
D HE STILL LOVED ME . $
AFTER HIS AFFAIRES BEGAN - HE STILL MADE LOVE TO ME - STILL
WANTED ME . $
YOU THINK HE WASN'T VIOLENT ? $
IS THAT WHAT HE TOLD YOU . $
HE USED TO BEG ME - ' JACKIE - TAKE ME IN YOUR MOUTH ' . $
03 YOU THINK I 'M STILL THE MAN YOU MARRIED . $
04 NO . $
I WATCHED HIM COME TO PIECES SOME TEN YEARS AGO . $
I MAKE THE BEST OF WHAT SMALL FRAGMENTS I HAVE LEFT . $
02 I 'D LIKE YOU TO CONTINUE THIS CONVERSATION IN THE PEACE
AND PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME . $
I 'VE HAD ENOUGH . $
I 'M TIRED . $
I 'D LIKE TO GO TO BED . $
SHUT THE DOOR QUIETLY AS YOU LEAVE . $
I WANT YOU BOTH TO GO AWAY . $
04 I WAS UNFAITHFUL ONCE . $
IT WASN'T TOO SUCCESSFUL . $
HE DIDN'T EVEN LIKE ME . $
HE DIDN'T LIKE YOU EITHER . $
02 PLEASE - WILL YOU GO AWAY ? $
ALAN ! $
04 I THINK THAT 'S HOW WE CAME TO GO TO BED . $
WE HAD SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT . $
02 THERE 'S NO POINT HANGING ON . $
THERE 'S NOTHING LEFT . $
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO HOME ? $
04 WE SPENT THE EVENING QUIETLY . $
WE TALKED . $
HE TOOK ME OUT TO DINNER . $
IT WAS ALL SO ORDINARY . $
03 I WANT TO STAY HERE . $
02 IT WAS A NICE IDEA , LOVE . $
IT DIDN'T WORK . $
04 WHEN HE TOOK ME HOME - FUNNY - IT SEEMED SO NATURAL - GOI
NG TO BED WITH HIM . $
WAS HE SO VERY CLEVER - OR WAS I - SO INEXPERIENCED ? $
OF COURSE , I WANTED HIM TO LOVE ME . $
02 BEFORE I GET TO SCREAMING AT YOU , ALAN - WILL YOU GO AWA
Y ? $
04 I WOKE UP LATER AND HE WAS ASLEEP . $
I COULDN'T THINK WHY THERE WAS A FACE I DIDN'T RECOGNISE - I
 COULDN'T UNDERSTAND - LYING ON THE PILLOW NEXT TO ME . $
I THOUGHT I MUST BE DREAMING . $
IN MY MIND - WHEN I WAS UNFAITHFUL - THINKING ABOUT IT - THE
N , IT WAS SO FIERCE - EXPLOSIVE - UNCONTROLLED - AND THIS -
 IT DIDN'T EVEN SEEM IMPORTANT . $
HOW CAN YOU TELL ONE FROM ANY OTHER , IF IT 'S ALWAYS JUST T
HE SAME ? $
WHY DON'T WE GO HOME ? $
03 I WANT TO STAY HERE . $
04 I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD . $
I DON'T THINK IT 'S VERY SENSIBLE . $
I 'M TIRED . $
CAN'T WE GO HOME ? $
03 WHY DID YOU FOLLOW ME ? $
04 I WANT TO HELP YOU . $
03 YOU COULDN'T LET ME GO . $
04 REALLY - DO YOU WANT ME TO ? $
03 WOULD YOU BELIEVE ME , IF I TOLD YOU - YES , I DO ? $
04 IF THERE WAS ANY REASON WHY I SHOULD - YES - I 'D BELIEVE
 YOU . $
02 LET HIM GO AGAIN - YOU MIGHT NOT FIND HIM QUITE SO EASILY
 . $
04 HE WANTED ME TO FIND HIM . $
02 COME AND FETCH HIM HOME ? $
YES - I THINK PERHAPS YOU 'RE RIGHT . $
STILL - MAYBE - ANOTHER TIME . $
04 HE WON'T COME BACK TO YOU . $
02 DARLING - I WOULDN'T HAVE HIM IF HE DID . $
I 'M MUCH TOO GOOD FOR HIM . $
IT 'S SORT OF COLD . $
I THINK I 'LL TAKE A COAT . $
IF THAT 'S THE LIFE YOU SETTLE FOR , OLD LOVE - MUST BE THE
LIFE YOU DESERVE - RIGHT ? $
DON'T WE ALWAYS GET WHAT WE DESERVE ? $
I 'M GOING OUT . $
I 'D RATHER YOU WEREN'T STILL HERE , WHEN I GET BACK . $
OH - AND SWITCH THE LIGHTS OUT . $
IT WAS A NICE IDEA . $
TAKE HIM HOME AND KEEP HIM SAFE . $
IF YOU CAN'T STOP HIM - NOBODY ELSE CAN . $
04 SOME TIME AGO I KNEW YOU WERE HAVING AN AFFAIRE . $
AS A MATTER OF FACT , I WANTED TO ASK YOU - I MEAN - IF ANYO
NE COULD HELP - YOU WERE UNHAPPY - AND I THOUGHT - PROBABLY
I COULD HELP YOU - IF YOU 'D JUST TALK ABOUT IT . $
03 TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT ? $
04 YOU WERE HARDLY KEEPING IT A SECRET ! $
MOPING ABOUT THE HOUSE . $
BETTY ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG . $
YOU THINK I COULDN'T GUESS ? $
I 'VE BEEN MARRIED TO YOU ... $
03 YES , I KNOW HOW LONG . $
I DIDN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT . $
04 AND THEN - LAST WEEK - EITHER IT WAS STARTING UP AGAIN -
OR THERE WAS SOMEONE ELSE - SOMETHING - AND I HAD TO STOP IT
 . $
03 YOU WENT TO MY DESK AND SEARCHED THROUGH ALL MY PAPERS ?
$
04 YOU THINK I LIKED DOING THAT ? $
03 I DON'T KNOW . $
YOU DID IT . $
04 I DIDN'T WANT TO FIND THE BLOODY LETTERS ! $
03 I WOULD HAVE SAID - A LITTLE WHILE AGO - I WOULD HAVE SAI
D IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE . $
04 YES - IMPOSSIBLE . $
WELL - I WAS YOUNGER - AND I HAD A LOT MORE HOPE . $
WHY DIDN'T YOU LEAVE WHEN I WAS THIRTY ? $
I COULD HAVE BROUGHT THE CHILDREN UP . $
WHY DID WE HAVE THE CHILDREN ? $
FIFTEEN YEARS AGO ! $
THEY WERE HARDLY EVEN BORN . $
YOU MUST HAVE KNOWN YOU MEANT TO BE UNFAITHFUL LONG BEFORE .
 $
03 I NEVER MEANT TO BE UNFAITHFUL . $
04 WOULD HE MIND - D' YOU THINK I COULD HAVE A DRINK ? $
03 I DIDN'T SET OUT - FOR GOD'S SAKE ! $
WHAT D'YOU THINK ? $
ONE DAY I MADE UP MY MIND - I 'M GOING TO BE UNFAITHFUL ? $
I DIDN'T THINK - IN A MILLION YEARS - I COULDN'T IMAGINE ...
 $
#70 $
04 IT ISN'T DIFFICULT , IS IT ? $
I 'VE ALWAYS UNDERSTOOD IT 'S SOMETHING ANYONE CAN DO . $
ANYONE GETS MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE . $
IT DOESN'T COUNT , DOES IT - IF YOU AREN'T MARRIED ? $
THAT ISN'T BEING UNFAITHFUL , IS IT ? $
WHAT IS THAT CALLED ? $
IF IT WAS SO DIFFICULT FOR YOU - I CAN BELIEVE IT WAS ! - YO
U MUST HAVE THOUGHT A LOT ABOUT IT . $
KNOWING YOU ... $
I 'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT . $
SORRY . $
LET 'S SAY I 'VE NEVER MET YOU . $
I 'LL MAKE NO ASSUMPTIONS . $
I 'LL SIMPLY TELL YOU HOW YOU SEEM TO ME - TONIGHT - AS IF I
 MET YOU - TONIGHT . $
ONE THING - YOU DON'T SEEM QUEER . $
WHY DID WE HAVE THE CHILDREN ? $
03 YOU - HAD THE CHILDREN . $
04 YOU DIDN'T WANT THEM ? $
03 I DIDN'T THINK I HAD A CHOICE . $
04 GOD IN HEAVEN ! $
IF YOU FELT LIKE THAT - WHY DID WE STOP AT TWO ? $
I WANTED HALF-A-DOZEN . $
SURELY - THAT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO VERY MUCH WORSE FOR YOU
? $
REALLY - YOU DIDN'T WANT THEM ? $
WOULD YOU RATHER - NOW - THEY DIDN'T EXIST ? $
03 THEY DO EXIST . $
04 YES - BUT IF WE HADN'T ... $
03 WE DID . $
04 YES . $
SOMETHING YOU CAN BE THANKFUL FOR - YOU WON'T HAVE TO GET A
DIVORCE . $
SAVE YOURSELF A LOT OF MONEY - AND SAVE ME ... $
HE WON'T INSIST YOU MARRY HIM ? $
SORRY ! $
YOU SEE - IF I ONCE LET MYSELF - IF I BEGIN TO TAKE THIS - A
NY OF THIS - SERIOUSLY - I MIGHT BEGIN TO SCREAM AND HE SAID
 - WE SHOULDN'T MAKE A LOT OF NOISE . $
HIS LANDLADY - DIDN'T HE SAY SOMETHING ABOUT HIS LANDLADY -
AND THE NOISE ? $
YOU WENT TO BED WITH HIM ? $
YOU DID - MAKE LOVE ... $
IT COULD BE RATHER FUNNY . $
CAN'T YOU HEAR THEM ? $
' POOR JACKIE - DID YOU KNOW ? $
HER HUSBAND LEFT HER FOR ANOTHER MAN ' . $
ISN'T THAT FUNNY ? $
I THINK IT HAS A CERTAIN QUALITY - YOU MIGHT SAY - SURPRISE
. $
WOULD YOU SAY - SURPRISE ? $
ALAN ! $
SIT DOWN . $
PLEASE - WILL YOU ? $
03 IF YOU KNEW I WAS UNFAITHFUL ... $
04 I DIDN'T KNOW . $
03 YOU HAD A PRETTY GOOD IDEA . $
04 YES . $
03 WHY DIDN'T YOU THROW ME OUT ? $
04 I THOUGHT IT WAS PROBABLY MY FAULT . $
I NEVER WAS MUCH GOOD IN BED . $
IT DIDN'T SEEM - WELL - ALTOGETHER FAIR I SHOULD BLAME YOU E
NTIRELY - AND ANYWAY - I NEVER THOUGHT ... $
YOU 'VE GOT A KIND FACE , SIR . $
GIVE A POOR GIRL A KISS . $
ACTUALLY , YOU 'VE GOT RATHER A SILLY FACE . $
SWEET , OF COURSE . $
LOOK - YOU DON'T HAVE TO SIT THERE - IF YOU DON'T WANT TO .
$
GOD FORBID - YOU SHOULD DO ANYTHING ... $
I THOUGHT THIS WOULD HELP . $
FUNNY - YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING ? $
IT DOESN'T HELP A BIT . $
WHAT 'S ON THE TELLY ? $
OF COURSE , THE DANGER IS - IF YOU DON'T FIND IT SWEET , IT
'S PRETTY SICKENING . $
TOO CONCEITED , I SUPPOSE . $
SOMEHOW - I NEVER THOUGHT YOU 'D GET AROUND - TO LEAVING . $
I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED ME - AND WHAT YOU COULDN'T FIND IN BED
WITH ME - YOU WERE TAKING CARE OF THAT . $
03 HOW COULD YOU ACCEPT - HOW COULD YOU DO THAT - TO YOURSEL
F ? $
04 YES - I WAS QUITE SURPRISED . $
IT WASN'T MY IMMEDIATE REACTION . $
SHALL I HAVE ANOTHER ? $
03 I DON'T THINK SO . $
04 AT FIRST - I THOUGHT - I 'D KILL YOU - THEN - I 'D KILL M
YSELF . $
ALL RATHER MELODRAMATIC , I 'M AFRAID . $
THEN - I THOUGHT - GO AWAY SOME PLACE - JUST DISAPPEAR - AND
 THEN - I 'D TAKE THE CHILDREN , LEAVE YOU , BAG AND BAGGAGE
 , FIND A PLACE TO LIVE AND MAKE A LIFE FOR THEM - AND THEN
- DO NOTHING . $
I WAS WRONG ! $
I STOOD OUT THERE TONIGHT MORE THAN AN HOUR - WATCHING THIS
HOUSE . $
I FOLLOWED YOU FROM HOME . $
I REALLY WOULD QUITE LIKE ANOTHER DRINK . $
WHAT KIND OF A THING IS THAT ? $
RUNNING AFTER YOUR HUSBAND - TO FIND OUT WHERE HE GOES ! $
ASK HIM - IF YOU WANT TO KNOW . $
THAT 'S WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE DO . $
PEOPLE WHO TALK TO EACH OTHER - TRUST EACH OTHER . $
03 I TRUSTED YOU . $
04 NEVER TO MAKE A FUSS . $
KEEP A SAFE DISTANCE FROM THE AWKWARD QUESTION . $
YES - YOU TRUSTED ME ! $
I STOOD AND WATCHED YOU WALK INTO THIS HOUSE . $
I DIDN'T TRY TO STOP YOU . $
I WATCHED THE WINDOWS - EVERY WINDOW WAS A BEDROOM AND YOU W
ERE MAKING LOVE - AND I WAS - WATCHING . $
THE PICTURES IN MY MIND ! $
ALWAYS WITH A GIRL , OF COURSE . $
I DIDN'T KNOW THEN WHAT WAS REALLY GOING ON - AND JUST AS WE
LL ! $
I WOULD HAVE THROWN UP IN THE GUTTER - SEEING ALL THE PICTUR
ES HE PUT IN MY MIND . $
WHY DID HE DO THAT , ALAN ? $
YOU THINK WE 'LL ALL JUST GO AWAY . $
KEEP QUIET LONG ENOUGH AND LET US TALK - WE 'LL ALL GET BORE
D AND LEAVE YOU - GO AWAY - AND THEN , THE NOISE WILL STOP ?
 $
ALAN - THE NOISE IS IN YOUR MIND . $
IT ISN'T US . $
I KNOW SOME THINGS ABOUT YOU . $
MORE THAN TWENTY YEARS ? $
EVEN I CAN UNDERSTAND A LITTLE OF THE PAIN . $
I CAN'T HELP TAKE IT ALL AWAY . $
ONCE - I THOUGHT I COULD . $
I WAS SO ARROGANT WHEN I MARRIED YOU . $
HOW DO YOU THINK IT FEELS - STANDING IN A PHONE BOX - HEARIN
G YOUR VOICE - ASHAMED TO SPEAK ? $
I HAD THE FEELING - AS I WALKED INTO THIS ROOM - YOU 'VE DON
E THIS NOW AND YOU CAN'T GO BACK . $
YOU CAN NEVER BE THE SAME - QUITE THE SAME PERSON . $
THIS IS A THING THE WOMAN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE COULD NOT HAV
E DONE - AND SO - YOU 'RE NOT THAT WOMAN . $
D' YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I 'M SAYING ? $
I CAN CHANGE . $
I CAN BE - ALAN - ANYTHING YOU WANT ME TO BE . $
IF THERE 'S HOPE . $
THERE IS - ISN'T THERE ? $
HOPE ? $
SOME HOPE ? $
03 I SHOULD HAVE LEFT YOU LONG AGO . $
I DIDN'T HAVE THE STRENGTH AND - YES - I WAS FRIGHTENED . $
04 YOU 'RE NOT - YOU CAN'T - LEAVE ME ? $
I WASN'T ASKING - WILL YOU STAY WITH ME ? $
YOU ARE - YOU 'RE GOING TO - STAY WITH ME ? $
03 JACKIE - IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE . $
I TOLD YOU - HOW MANY TIMES ? $
04 ONCE ! $
#71 $
YOU HAVE TO SAY IT ONCE - AND CLEARLY . $
SO I HEAR THE WORDS . $
SO I KNOW I DIDN'T - UNDERSTAND - MISUNDERSTAND - AND LET YO
U GO - WHEN YOU REALLY MEANT TO STAY - JUST - WANTED ME TO A
SK . $
03 WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO PAINFUL ? $
04 PULLING PEOPLE INTO PIECES - ISN'T THAT ALWAYS - PAINFUL
? $
GOD IN HEAVEN ! $
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ? $
SEND YOU AWAY WITH A KISS ON THE FOREHEAD - A PAT ON THE BOT
TOM . $
I HAVE GOT FEELINGS . $
I DIDN'T SAY THAT ! $
DID YOU HEAR WHAT YOU MADE ME SAY ? $
ALAN - THIS IS RIDICULOUS ! $
WHAT ARE WE DOING IN THIS DREADFUL ROOM ? $
ARE YOU GOING TO LIVE HERE ? $
YOU 'LL GO RAVING MAD . $
IS THAT THE KIND OF THING HE LIKES ? $
03 JACKIE - FOR PITY'S SAKE ! $
04 I DON'T HAVE ANY PITY . $
ALAN - I HOPE HE TAKES YOU - REALLY BREAKS YOU INTO BITS . $
WHY SHOULD I PITY YOU ? $
03 DO YOU HAVE TO HATE ME ? $
04 DOES IT MATTER ? $
DO YOU CARE ? $
I SUPPOSE YOU DO . $
YOU 'LL HAVE TO SEE ME - COMING TO COLLECT THE CHILDREN - YE
S - YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO MEET ME - HATING YOU . $
I SUPPOSE - IF I DON'T GREET YOU - SMILING - SWEETNESS AND L
IGHT - YOU WON'T EVER COME TO SEE US . $
STILL - IT 'S NOT FOR LONG . $
I MEAN - RIGHT NOW - IF MICHAEL WANTS TO SEE YOU - HE 'S QUI
TE OLD ENOUGH - YOU CAN MEET HIM FOR A DRINK - A MEAL . $
BETTY ... $
I 'M NOT SURE I WANT YOU SEEING TOO MUCH OF HER . $
I 'LL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT . $
IF YOU 'RE GOING TO LEAVE US - LIVE THIS EXTRAORDINARY LIFE
- THAT 'S YOUR DECISION . $
BETTY 'S STILL A CHILD . $
I HAVE TO THINK FOR HER . $
I 'M NOT SURE IT 'S A GOOD IDEA SHE SHOULD SEE YOU VERY OFTE
N - IF AT ALL . $
WHEN PEOPLE HEAR ABOUT THIS - WELL - THEY 'RE BOUND TO TALK
AND I THINK THAT 'S ENOUGH FOR THE CHILD TO COPE WITH . $
HER FRIENDS AT SCHOOL ... $
I SHALL DIVORCE YOU , ALAN . $
I DON'T WANT TO HAVE YOUR NAME - NOT ANY MORE . $
YOU 'LL HAVE TO SUPPORT ME - AND THE CHILDREN , OF COURSE -
YOU 'D DO THAT ANYWAY . $
BUT I CAN'T START TO WORK AGAIN . $
IT 'S BEEN TOO LONG AND I 'M TOO OLD . $
I THINK - PERHAPS WE 'LL MOVE . $
I DON'T WANT TO GO ON LIVING IN THAT HOUSE . $
WHAT PLANS HAVE YOU MADE ? $
ARE YOU GOING TO LIVE HERE ? $
I PRESUME YOU WON'T STAY WITH THE FIRM . $
I DON'T IMAGINE YOU WANT TO FACE ... $
THERE WON'T BE MANY OF YOUR FRIENDS YOU 'LL WANT TO SEE . $
STILL - I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU CARE . $
NOT MANY OF THEM YOU LIKE . $
MOST OF THEM BUSINESS FRIENDS AND YOU WON'T NEED THEM , WHEN
 YOU LEAVE THE FIRM . $
STARTING A NEW LIFE ! $
YOU 'LL FIND NEW FRIENDS . $
IN A WAY - I HAVE TO ADMIRE YOU - AT YOUR AGE - MAKING THIS
BREAK . $
IF YOU 'D REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT - THEN - I MIGHT ADMIRE YO
U . $
03 I 'VE THOUGHT ABOUT IT . $
04 YOU CAN'T DO THIS . $
YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME ON MY OWN . $
I CAN'T MANAGE , ALAN - ALL ON MY OWN . $
WHAT CAN I DO ? $
TELL ME - PLEASE - WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ? $
YOU ALWAYS SAID - MAKING LOVE TO ME - THE WORLD JUST WENT AW
AY - YOU SAID - AND EVERYTHING WAS SILENT . $
IT CAN BE LIKE THAT - SURELY - IT CAN - IF YOU 'LL HELP ME .
 $
TELL ME - WHAT SHALL I DO ? $
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO ? $
THERE ISN'T ANYTHING - ALAN - YOU CAN ASK AND I WON'T DO FOR
 YOU . $
I WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY . $
ASK ME - PLEASE - MY DARLING - WHAT SHALL I DO ? $
I ONLY WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY . $
IS IT SO DISGUSTING ? $
DOES IT OFFEND YOU - KISSING ME ? $
YOU MADE LOVE TO ME THREE NIGHTS AGO . $
DID IT MAKE YOU SICK ? $
DID YOU THINK OF HIM - MAKING LOVE TO ME ... $
YOU ARE QUEER , AREN'T YOU ? $
I SUPPOSE YOU ALWAYS WERE . $
CHRIST ! - WHAT SORT OF IDIOT - BLAMING MYSELF - AND ALL THE
 TIME ... $
DID YOU EVER MAKE LOVE TO ME - DAYS WHEN YOU MADE LOVE TO HI
M ? $
ALL THE NIGHTS YOU COULDN'T EVEN - AND I BLAMED MYSELF . $
I WASN'T ATTRACTIVE - CLEVER ENOUGH - I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO M
AKE YOU WANT ME - HOW TO SEDUCE YOU ! $
I READ ALL THOSE BOOKS . $
A LOT OF IT I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND - AND WHAT I DID - I WAS TOO
 SHY ... $
I COULD HAVE BEEN RITA HAYWORTH , MARILYN MONROE AND AVA GAR
DNER - ALL MADE UP INTO ONE MIRACLE LOVE GODDESS - I WOULDN'
T HAVE ATTRACTED YOU . $
NO WONDER THEN YOU COULDN'T SATISFY ME . $
THE YEARS WE 'VE BEEN MARRIED AND YOU NEVER LEFT ME REALLY S
ATISFIED . $
03 YOU CAME TO BED SMELLING OF CHILDREN . $
YOU MADE LOVE TO ME LIKE A MOTHER - COMFORTING A CHILD - MAK
ING UNREASONABLE DEMANDS - WHICH HAD TO BE ENDURED . $
ONE NIGHT I WANTED TO MAKE LOVE . $
I PUT MY ARMS AROUND YOU - KISSED YOU - AND YOU SAID - ' DAR
LING - BEFORE WE START - WILL YOU JUST SEE - IS BETTY STILL
ASLEEP ? $
SHE 'S BEEN SO ODD TODAY , I THINK SHE MUST BE COMING DOWN W
ITH 'FLU . ' $
I WAS HALFWAY ON TOP OF YOU - AND YOU SAID ... $
THE BED HAS NEVER LOST THE SMELL OF CHILDREN . $
ALL YOUR CLOTHES - YOUR BODY - THE SMELL STICKS TO YOU . $
IT HAS SINCE THEY WERE BORN AND YOU SAID - ' I DON'T WANT AN
Y HELP . $
WE CAN'T AFFORD IT - ANYWAY , I WANT TO DO IT ALL MYSELF . '
 $
04 WAS THAT WRONG ? $
03 WE COULD AFFORD IT . $
04 DOING IT MYSELF - WAS THAT WRONG ? $
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ? $
03 WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK ME ? $
EIGHT YEARS - TALKING TO BABIES - WHEN DID YOU TALK TO ME ?
$
JACKIE - YOU DRESSED THEM - UNDRESSED THEM - WALKED WITH THE
M IN THE PARK . $
YOU NURSED THEM AND YOUR BREASTS STILL SMELL OF MILK . $
YOU CHANGED THEM - HELD THE MESSES IN YOUR HANDS . $
SMELL YOUR HANDS . $
CAN YOU ... $
... ON YOUR HANDS - CAN YOU SMELL ? $
#72 $
THE TROUBLE IS - OF COURSE - I LOOK LIKE ANY OTHER MAN - A R
EASONABLE AND RATIONAL - ADULT , HUMAN BEING - ABLE TO COPE
WITH ALL HIS PROBLEMS - BUYING A HOUSE - PAYING THE BILLS -
MAKING THE MONEY FOR YOU ALL TO SPEND - GIVING YOU PRESENTS
 - ASKING - LOVE ME . $
WHEN WAS IT EVER QUIET ENOUGH FOR YOU TO HEAR ? $
WHERE WAS THE UNDERSTANDING - HELP - I NEEDED ? $
LOVE AND TENDERNESS . $
ALL THE YEARS I COULDN'T SAY THIS , BECAUSE I WAS ASHAMED .
$
I KNEW IT WAS FOOLISH , WEAK - UNMANLY . $
I COULDN'T ADMIT EVERYTHING - EACH DAY OF MY LIFE - FRIGHTEN
ED ME TO TEARS - AND I COULDN'T EVEN CRY . $
04 I LOVE YOU . $
03 I KNOW - YES - OF COURSE . $
04 IF YOU COULD 'VE TOLD ME ... $
ALAN - IF YOU COULD HAVE SAID YOU FELT - LEFT OUT - I WAS NE
GLECTING YOU ... $
03 I DID SAY - JACKIE - I TOLD YOU - ALMOST EVERY DAY . $
YOU COULDN'T HEAR . $
THE CHILDREN MAKE MORE NOISE THAN CLAPHAM JUNCTION . $
HOW COULD YOU HEAR ? $
04 I CAN'T - ALAN - PLEASE ! $
DON'T MAKE ME SAY - I COULD 'VE KEPT YOU - WE ' STILL BE - T
OGETHER - IF THE CHILDREN - IF I HADN'T ... $
I LOVE THEM . $
THEY ARE THE BEST OF ME . $
03 I DON'T WANT YOU TO SAY THAT . $
I DON'T THINK IT 'S TRUE . $
THEY 'RE VERY PROBABLY - THE BEST OF ME . $
04 IT 'S ALMOST OVER . $
MICHAEL 'S GROWN UP - WITH HIS OWN LIFE . $
I HARDLY EVER SEE HIM - HE 'S SO BUSY . $
BETTY - SHE WANTS TO LEAVE SCHOOL NEXT YEAR AND GET A JOB .
$
THEY 'LL BOTH OF THEM LIVE AWAY FROM HOME . $
MICHAEL ASKED ME - OH - LAST WEEK - THE WEEK BEFORE - WHAT W
OULD YOU SAY , IF HE GOT A FLAT IN TOWN - SHARING WITH SOME
OTHER BOYS ? $
03 NO REASON WHY HE SHOULDN'T . $
04 I SAID WE 'D TALK ABOUT IT . $
WE 'LL BE ON OUR OWN AGAIN . $
03 I THINK HE 'S OLD ENOUGH . $
04 WE DIDN'T ALWAYS HAVE THE CHILDREN . $
WE WERE HAPPY THEN . $
WE CAN - I KNOW WE CAN - ALAN - CAN'T WE - BE HAPPY ? $
03 PRETEND IT 'S NINETEEN FORTY-SIX . $
PRETEND - WE JUST GOT MARRIED AND WE 'RE TWENTY . $
LIVE ALL KINDS OF LIES - BECAUSE WE CAN'T COPE WITH WHAT WE
ARE - WHAT WE 'VE MADE OURSELVES ? $
IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ? $
04 HOW DO YOU INTEND TO COPE ? $
HIDING YOURSELF IN EVERLASTING , SHORT AND FURTIVE LOVE AFFA
IRS ! $
HOW LONG WILL THIS ONE LAST ? $
HOW LONG HAVE ANY OF THEM - AND YOU CAME BACK - ALWAYS ! - Y
OU CAME BACK TO ME . $
03 I NEVER LEFT YOU . $
04 YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME NOW . $
03 YOU - HAVEN'T LET GO . $
04 YOU WANT TO LEAVE ME . $
THAT 'S ALL IT IS . $
YOU 'VE DECIDED - AND NOTHING 'S GOING TO STOP YOU . $
YOU WON'T EVEN LET YOURSELF THINK WHAT YOU 'RE DOING - TO ME
 - TO THE CHILDREN . $
YOU WANT TO DO THIS AND YOU 'RE GOING TO DO IT . $
THERE 'S NO REASON . $
THERE 'S NO BLAME . $
ONLY - YOU 'RE SICK OF ME - HAD ME - FINISHED WITH ME - THRO
W ME AWAY . $
YOU WON'T ADMIT RESPONSIBILITY FOR ME - FOR ANY OF US . $
TRYING TO UNDERSTAND - AND ALL THE TIME ... $
YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME . $
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ? $
TWENTY-THREE YEARS ! $
MORE THAN HALF MY LIFE ! $
YOU BELONG TO ME . $
03 I DON'T LOVE YOU . $
04 ALAN - YOU HAVEN'T LOVED ME FOR FIFTEEN YEARS . $
YOU STAYED WITH ME . $
WHY SHOULD IT MAKE A DIFFERENCE NOW ? $
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME ? $
03 I LOVE HIM . $
04 AREN'T YOU JUST A BIT TOO OLD - TALKING ABOUT LOVE - TELL
ING YOURSELF - I AM IN LOVE - AND THAT MAKES ANYTHING I DO -
 ALL RIGHT - JUSTIFIED - IN THE EYES OF HEAVEN - SACRED ! $
WHAT AM I DOING ? $
BEGGING YOU TO STAY ! $
CHRIST - IF YOU WERE A MAN - HALFWAY MATURE - MICHAEL IS MOR
E GROWN UP THAN YOU ARE - MORE A MAN . $
03 GO HOME , JACKIE - PLEASE . $
04 YOU 'RE GOING TO STAY HERE ? $
03 YES . $
04 YOU 'LL FIND YOUR LOVE AND TENDERNESS WITH HIM ? $
WITH ALL THE ANGER - UGLINESS - HE HAS INSIDE - YOU EXPECT H
IM TO BE GENTLE - UNDERSTANDING ? $
03 I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT HIM . $
04 NO . $
WE WILL SEE EACH OTHER ? $
YOU DON'T INTEND - WE NEVER MEET AGAIN ? $
03 I 'LL COME AND SEE THE CHILDREN . $
YOU 'LL BE THERE ? $
04 YES . $
03 THERE 'S A LOT OF THINGS WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT . $
04 I SUPPOSE THERE ARE . $
WILL WE BE FRIENDS ? $
03 I DON'T KNOW . $
04 WHY DID YOU WAIT SO LONG ? $
03 I 'M SORRY . $
04 BEFORE YOU KNEW ME - SURELY - EVEN THEN - YOU MUST HAVE K
NOWN - EVENTUALLY ... $
03 HOW COULD I KNOW - BEFORE I KNEW YOU ? $
04 IS IT POSSIBLE - YOU CAN BE QUEER AND NOT KNOW ? $
LIVE SO LONG ... $
03 I DON'T KNOW . $
04 WELL - YOU REALLY HAD ME FOOLED ! $
WHEN WILL YOU SEE THE CHILDREN ? $
03 TOMORROW ? $
04 SATURDAY ? $
YES - ALL RIGHT . $
I 'LL SEE THEY BOTH STAY HOME . $
I WON'T BE THERE . $
WILL YOU MANAGE ? $
THIS IS EVEN SMALLER THAN THE FLAT WE USED TO LIVE IN . $
HOW WILL YOU SURVIVE ? $
YOU 'LL LET ME GO ? $
YOU WON'T EVEN TRY TO STOP ME ? $
I KEEP EXPECTING ... $
#73 $
03 HELLO . $
JULIE ? $
YES . $
WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK ? $
NO . $
NOTHING . $
WAITING . $
01 HELLO . $
ARE YOU STILL HERE ? $
03 HELLO . $
01 I HEARD THE TELEPHONE - AND SOMEONE ANSWER . $
I THOUGHT - JULIE ... $
03 JULIE ISN'T HERE . $
01 REALLY ? $
GONE AND LEFT YOU - ALL ON YOUR OWN ? $
03 I 'M SORRY IF THE PHONE DISTURBED YOU . $
01 YOU 'VE BEEN HAVING SORT OF A BUSY NIGHT DOWN HERE . $
CLEANING HOUSE ? $
I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS A BIT TACTLESS - KEEPING ALL THOSE P
HOTOGRAPHS - PINNING THEM UP WHERE ANYONE CAN SEE THEM . $
WHEN WILL JULIE GET BACK ? $
YOU DO EXPECT HIM BACK ? $
03 I DON'T KNOW . $
YES , I DO . $
01 ARE YOU GOING TO MOVE IN WITH JULIE ? $
GOOD THING IF YOU DID . $
HE SHOULDN'T BE LEFT ON HIS OWN . $
SOME OF US - I THINK WE 'RE PROBABLY BETTER - ON OUR OWN . $
JULIE - GETS INTO ALL SORTS OF TROUBLE . $
I 'M NOT HIS BROTHER . $
DID HE TELL YOU ? $
03 YES . $
01 MUST HAVE BEEN PRETTY OBVIOUS . $
YOU 'RE CLEVER ENOUGH TO KNOW WHEN YOU 'VE INTERRUPTED - SOM
ETHING . $
NO POINT TRYING TO KID YOU . $
I COULD 'VE TOLD HER THAT - THE SILLY BITCH ! - AND I HARDLY
 KNOW YOU . $
YOU WERE TALKING SORT OF LOUD . $
ONE TIME - I THOUGHT I HEARD A WOMAN'S VOICE . $
WAS THERE A WOMAN HERE ? $
IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE FIGHTING ABOUT ? $
DO YOU LIKE TO MAKE IT WITH WOMEN ? $
I MAKE IT WITH WOMEN . $
NOT TOO OFTEN - JUST - WHEN I HAVE TO . $
IT 'S NOT SO BAD . $
SOMETIMES I COULD ALMOST SAY I ENJOY IT . $
' COURSE , IF THEY MAKE A LOT OF FUSS - TRY AND TAKE YOU OVE
R - THEN YOU HAVE TO SHOW THEM - MAKE IT CLEAR - YOU KNOW ?
$
ARE YOU SERIOUS ABOUT JULIE ? $
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF . $
03 I THINK PERHAPS IT WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU CAME BACK TOMOR
ROW . $
TALK TO JULIE IN THE MORNING . $
01 I 'M COMING BACK TOMORROW . $
I HAVE A DATE WITH JULIE . $
HE 'S SPENDING THE WEEKEND WITH ME . $
DON'T YOU REMEMBER , LOVE ? $
YOU WERE HERE . $
FIRST COME - IF YOU 'LL PARDON THE EXPRESSION - FIRST SERVED
 . $
COME AND SIT HERE . $
COME ON . $
I 'D MUCH RATHER TALK TO YOU ANYWAY . $
I THINK YOU 'RE SORT OF INTERESTING . $
I COULD 'VE BEEN ANGRY , YOU KNOW - THE WAY YOU INTERRUPTED
. $
MAKING JULIE THROW ME OUT . $
BUT - I 'LL FORGIVE YOU . $
I 'M NOT JEALOUS . $
SHARE AND SHARE ALIKE - THAT 'S WHAT I SAY . $
DON'T BE GREEDY . $
SOMETHING I SAW ONCE WRITTEN ON A BUS - ' IF YOU 'VE HAD SOM
E - SMILE ' . $
I 'VE HAD SOME - AND I 'M SMILING . $
DO YOU WANT TO FUCK ? $
YOU THINK JULIE 'S GOOD ? $
I 'LL SHOW YOU THINGS THAT MAKE JULIE LOOK AN AMATEUR . $
IF YOU 'RE FRIGHTENED , JULIE MIGHT COME BACK - WE CAN GO UP
 TO MY ROOM . $
DID HE TELL YOU ? $
I LIVE HERE . $
SORT OF CONVENIENT , ISN'T IT ? $
POP IN FOR A QUICK ONE . $
NO TROUBLE AT ALL ! $
DARLING - DON'T BE SHY . $
I 'LL TELL YOU WHAT I LIKE TO DO ... $
I LIKE ENTHUSIASM , DARLING ... $
... THIS IS RIDICULOUS ! $
I KNOW JULIE LIKES TO GET HIMSELF BEAT UP ... $
YOU 'RE CHOKING ME . $
LET GO . $
LET - GO . $
PLEASE ... $
WHAT THE HELL D' YOU THINK YOU 'RE DOING ? $
YOU COULD 'VE KILLED ME . $
03 I WANTED TO KILL YOU . $
01 'CAUSE , I TOUCHED YOU ? $
'CAUSE I WANTED YOU TO FUCK ? $
WHAT IS IT , DARLING ? $
SAVING YOURSELF FOR JULIE ? $
ARE YOU GOING TO BEHAVE ? $
COUPLE OF THINGS I WANT TO SHOW YOU . $
THINGS MIGHT INTEREST YOU . $
THINGS ABOUT JULIE ? $
STARTING LIFE TOGETHER - YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SECRETS . $
ISN'T THAT WHAT THEY SAY ? $
I 'LL TELL YOU A COUPLE OF JULIE'S SECRETS . $
ONLY TROUBLE - THERE 'S SO MUCH , I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO STAR
T . $
I 'LL GIVE YOU A TASTE . $
THEN YOU CAN READ THEM FOR YOURSELF . $
I THINK YOU 'LL ENJOY IT MORE . $
I SPENT A VERY HAPPY MORNING - SOME OF IT IS SORT OF WILD -
IF YOU LIKE THAT SORT OF THING . $
A LOT OF IT I DON'T UNDERSTAND . $
SOME OF IT SIMPLY DOESN'T MAKE SENSE . $
THE BITS I LIKE ... $
A SPADE - WITH A HANDLE FOURTEEN INCHES LONG . $
#74 $
IN ALL FAIRNESS , DARLING - I SHOULD TELL YOU - I HAVEN'T RE
AD THEM CAREFULLY . $
IT 'S JUST POT LUCK . $
I DON'T KNOW THEM WELL ENOUGH TO FIND THE BEST STUFF ALL THE
 TIME . $
YOUNG MAN SEEKS INTERESTING PART-TIME OCCUPATION . $
THERE 'S A TELEPHONE NUMBER - 57974 . $
IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE FOOD AT HOME , EAT OUT OCCASIONALLY .
$
PUT YOURSELF IN MY PLACE , YOU 'LL ENJOY IT . $
I 'LL MAKE YOUR BODY BEAUTIFUL - NO APPARATUS REQUIRED - NO
DISCRIMINATION . $
GOES ON FOR HALF A PAGE . $
THE MAN WAS AWKWARD , HESITANT . $
I OPENED THE DOOR . $
HE ALMOST TURNED AWAY . $
IT WAS RIDICULOUS . $
I THOUGHT - AT LEAST - KNOWING HE 'S COME TO FUCK - ALL HE H
AS TO DO IS PAY - AT LEAST , HE 'LL BE DECISIVE . $
LOVING IN THE NIGHT OF DYING . $
NATURALLY HE ASSUMED I HAD ALL THE EXPERIENCE . $
I WOULD TAKE CONTROL - SEDUCE HIM . $
OFFERING ALL MANNER OF MYSTERIOUS DELIGHTS . $
FIVE POUNDS DOWN AND RAPTURE GUARANTEED . $
I PULLED THE CURTAINS - ASKED - WHAT SHALL I DO ? $
WHAT DO YOU LIKE ? $
I THOUGHT - HE 'S BOUND TO NOTICE - I DON'T EVEN KNOW THE WO
RDS . $
HE WANTED ME TO TAKE OFF ALL MY CLOTHES . $
HE WANTED JUST TO LOOK AT ME , HE SAID . $
AT FIRST - HE WANTED JUST TO LOOK . $
HE BEGAN TO GET EXCITED - AND THEN - HE TOOK CONTROL . $
IT WAS AS I IMAGINED IT WOULD BE . $
NO FEELING - IT WASN'T MY BODY - NO GUILT - I BELONGED TO HI
M - NO SELF - I DIDN'T EXIST . $
I THOUGHT HE 'D GIVE A BIT MORE DETAIL . $
WHEN THE PUNISHMENT IS SHAME AND THERE IS NO SHAME - HOW CAN
 THE PUNISHMENT BEGIN ? $
HOW CAN IT EVER END ? $
NOVEMBER 18TH . $
THE TELEPHONE WOKE ME . $
A FAT MAN . $
ALMOST IMPOTENT . $
MADE ME SICK . $
MY FACE SO CLOSE TO THE FLACCID , DEAD HEAVINESS OF HIS THIG
HTS . $
THE BELLY MOUND . $
ONCE . $
HE WANTED TO STAY . $
3.30 P.M. $
A YOUNG MAN . $
TALL AND DARK . $
BIG . $
FRIGHTENING . $
TWICE . $
5 P.M. $
A BUSINESS MAN I THINK . $
ON HIS WAY HOME ? $
CLUMSY AND HE HURT ME . $
ONCE . $
6 P.M. $
LONELY . $
EXCITED . $
MIDDLE-AGED . $
HE WANTED ME TO FUCK HIM . $
THE SILLY BITCH . $
ONCE . $
PAGES OF THIS . $
PRETTY ONE . $
WAITING ON THE ROAD . $
WE TALKED . $
WENT HOME WITH HIM . $
STRANGE - AND SAD - HE CRIED A LOT . $
OH , MOTHER - HE WAS SO MY OWN , OWN BROTHER . $
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ! $
I WISH I COULD FIND THE ONE I WAS READING THIS MORNING . $
WANT TO HELP ME LOOK ? $
IT 'S SORT OF INTERESTING , ISN'T IT ? $
SOMEHOW - YOU CAN'T SEE JULIE - DOESN'T SEEM TOUGH ENOUGH .
$
YOU ARE LISTENING , DARLING ? $
I WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO MISS ANYTHING . $
I COULD HAVE YOU NOW . $
YOU WOULDN'T EVEN TRY TO STOP ME . $
FUNNY - 'CAUSE NOW - I DON'T REALLY WANT YOU . $
THE CELL WAS DARK WHEN THE THREE OF THEM WALKED IN . $
ONE OF THEM FORCED A HANDKERCHIEF INTO MY MOUTH AND HALFWAY
DOWN MY THROAT . $
TWO OF THEM HELD ME BY THE SHOULDERS , PUSHED ME DOWN ACROSS
 THE BED . $
THE BLANKET WAS ROUGH AND SCRATCHED AGAINST MY FACE . $
ONE OF THEM PULLED MY TROUSERS DOWN AROUND MY ANKLES AND THE
Y FUCKED ME - TAKING THEIR TURNS - ONE AFTER THE OTHER - CHA
NGING THEIR POSITIONS ROUND ME WITH AN ALMOST DRILL PRECISIO
N . $
#75 $
I THOUGHT - THEY ARE SO GOOD AT THIS - TRUTHFULLY - I DON'T
HAVE ANY CHOICE . $
IF I RESIST - THEY 'LL RAPE ME - AND I GAVE MYSELF - SURREND
ERED TO THEIR FORCE AND FOUND A PLEASURE - SATISFACTION - JO
Y ! - IN MY SURRENDER . $
THERE WAS NO GUILT IN THE COMPULSION TO ACCEPT - NO SHAME -
ACQUIESCING IN THEIR VIOLENCE - TAKING THEM INTO ME - ONLY T
HE PASSIONATE TRANQUILITY - KNOWING I COULD CONSENT TO THEIR
 DESIRE AND SATISFY MY OWN AND DEEPER - DESPERATE - NEED . $
THEY HAD ME AND THEY WENT AWAY . $
THEY CLOSED THE DOOR AND NO ONE SPOKE A WORD . $
IF YOU CAN MAKE SENSE OF THAT , LOVE - YOU 'RE A BLOODYSIGHT
 BRIGHTER THAN I AM . $
READ IT FOR YOURSELF . $
DECEMBER 27TH . $
I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO ANYONE NOW FOR THREE DAYS . $
I 'VE BEEN SITTING HERE IN MY ROOM . $
I READ FOR A WHILE . $
MOST OF THE TIME - NOTHING . $
IT HAS BEEN VERY QUIET . $
AT FIVE O'CLOCK TODAY THE TELEPHONE RANG . $
I DIDN'T ANSWER . $
DOESN'T THAT MAKE YOU WANT TO CRY ? $
THE SILLY BITCH ! $
I WAS HERE THAT WHOLE BLOODY CHRISTMAS . $
GORDON WAS FILTHY TO ME ALL NIGHT . $
KEPT LAUGHING AT ME . $
TOLD STORIES ABOUT ME TO HIS FRIENDS . $
TOLD THEM ALL THE THINGS HE MADE ME DO . $
AFTER WE FINISHED DINNER - HE SHOWED SOME PORNOGRAPHIC FILMS
 . $
HE SENT ME TO THE BEDROOM WITH A FRIEND OF HIS - AN OLD MAN
- TOLD ME - ' I WANT HIM TO ENJOY HIMSELF . $
JULIE - HE 'S A VERY DEAR OLD FRIEND OF MINE ' . $
HE COULD HARDLY MAKE IT . $
I WAS THERE ALMOST AN HOUR - AND THEN , HE SAID - ' YES - IT
 WAS ALL RIGHT . $
NOTHING TO MAKE A LOT OF FUSS ABOUT , DEAR BOY ' . $
GORDON SAID - ' JULIE - YOU SHOULD HAVE TRIED A LITTLE HARDE
R . $
NOW - I SHALL HAVE TO PUNISH YOU ' - AND HE HIT ME WITH A CA
NE . $
HE MADE ME BEND ACROSS A CHAIR AND HIT ME WITH A CANE . $
HE MADE ME TAKE OFF ALL MY CLOTHES AND HE HIT ME WITH A CANE
 . $
HE HIT ME ... $
SORT OF PARTY YOU READ ABOUT - AND NEVER GET INVITED TO . $
DARLING , THAT ISN'T ALL . $
THAT ISN'T HALF . $
WAIT 'TILL I FIND ... $
AFTER THE OTHER MEN WENT HOME , GORDON KISSED ME - SAID - WO
ULD I BE GENTLE WITH HIM - TAKE OFF HIS CLOTHES - WASH HIM A
ND OIL HIM - POWDER - PUT HIM TO BED . $
' ALL THE EXCITEMENT , JULIE - NOW - I FEEL SO TIRED . $
WE WON'T MAKE LOVE TONIGHT . ' $
HE REACHED TO PAT MY FACE AND SAID - ' YOU WERE SUCH A GOOD
BOY TONIGHT . $
BEHAVED YOURSELF QUITE BEAUTIFULLY ' - AND I PUSHED MY THUMB
S INTO HIS EYES I FORCED MY NAILS THROUGH THE SOFT , STARING
 WETNESS - INTO HIS HEAD HIS BLOOD - THE OBSCENE JELLY OF HI
S BRAINS - SPILLED ON MY HANDS . $
I THREW HIM OFF THE BED . $
I PUT MY FOOT DOWN ON HIS STOMACH - WALKED ON HIS CHEST . $
I FELT THE BONES BREAK - SPLINTERING - UNDERNEATH MY FEET .
$
I PUSHED MY HEEL HARD INTO HIS MOUTH . $
I FELT HIS TEETH DRIVE DEEP INTO MY FLESH . $
I KNELT BESIDE HIM - WHISPERED WHAT I WOULD DO BEFORE I WOUL
D LET HIM DIE . $
I CUT ACROSS HIS STOMACH - OPENED HIS BODY - THRUST THE KNIF
E INSIDE . $
02 DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN ! $
WHAT 'S BEEN GOING ON ? $
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING ? $
01 HELLO , JULIE . $
I WAS WONDERING WHEN WOULD YOU GET BACK . $
02 IF YOU WANT TO READ IT , LOVE - DON'T LET ME STOP YOU . $
01 WE 'VE ALREADY LOOKED AT QUITE A LOT OF THEM . $
I THOUGHT - STARTING OUT TOGETHER - YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SECRE
TS FROM EACH OTHER . $
GIVES YOU SUCH AN UNFAIR ADVANTAGE , DON'T YOU THINK ? $
02 WAS IT A LOT OF FUN ? $
01 FULL OF SURPRISES . $
02 I CAN IMAGINE . $
01 LOTS OF THINGS I MISSED THE FIRST TIME THROUGH . $
02 DID YOU - WAS THAT ... $
... YOUR IDEA TOO ? $
01 THAT WAS YOUR FRIEND'S IDEA . $
YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL . $
I GOT HERE IN TIME TO STOP HIM PULLING THE WHOLE PLACE TO PI
ECES . $
02 MY ACHING BACK . $
GO HOME , DAVY - WILL YOU ? $
GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE ! $
01 MISS ALL THE FUN ? $
02 DARLING - THE FUN STARTS WHEN I GET HOLD OF YOU AND CUT Y
OUR BALLS OFF - I MEAN - CUT THEM OFF ! $
I CAN IMAGINE THINGS TO DO WITH YOU MAKE ANYTHING YOU READ S
OUND LIKE A FAIRY TALE . $
03 ' ... STRANGER HERE . $
WE HAVEN'T SEEN YOU BEFORE ' . $
HE WAS A SMALL MAN AND HE WORE A FADED , ALMOST YELLOW OVERA
LL . $
HE SMILED . $
I THINK HE WAS EMBARRASSED . $
I THINK HE PLAYED HIS GAMES OF JOKES AND CAMARADERIE , BECAU
SE HE CANNOT MAKE ANOTHER WAY TO DEAL WITH THE ENDLESS STORY
 OF DISEASE , DECAY AND DEGRADATION . $
HE WROTE MY NAME AND TOLD ME TO SIT DOWN . $
HE SMILED AT ME . $
THERE WAS CONTEMPT INSIDE THE SMILE - DISGUST - IF I WANTED
TO LOOK - AND IF I DIDN'T - IT WAS THERE ANYWAY . $
02 READ IT ALL , LOVE . $
03 GRANT AND DAVIS - CARTER - PRITCHETT - JUDD - KESSLER AND
 KING - MILBURN - LOVETT - CLARK AND SAWYER ... $
02 PLATT - BURNS AND HUDSON - WALKER - PIKE - SIMON - FRANK
AND PITMAN - MORRIS - HAUSER - DOLAN - AMES ... $
THERE 'S A LOT MORE . $
TWENTY - TWENTY-FIVE - NO ONE YOU KNOW . $
NO ONE PARTICULARLY INTERESTING . $
' YES - IT SOUNDS LIKE GONORRHEA . $
LET 'S HAVE A LOOK ' . $
HE WAS A VERY YOUNG MAN , DETACHED , PROFESSIONAL , NOT AT A
LL INVOLVED . $
I UNZIPPED MY TROUSERS , SHOWED MYSELF TO HIM . $
WHAT DID HE SEE ? $
' I THINK WE 'LL HAVE A TEST . $
THERE 'S NOT A LOT OF DOUBT . ' $
HE TURNED AWAY AND WROTE ON BITS OF PAPER . $
' WASH YOUR HANDS . ' $
HE GESTURED WITH HIS HEAD . $
HE DIDN'T LOOK AT ME . $
THE WATER IN THE TAP RAN VERY HOT - SCALDING MY HANDS . $
I HELD THEM IN THE WATER . $
TALKING - TO ASK ... ASKING - TO KNOW ... KNOWING - TO UNDER
STAND AND HOPING - HOPING - HOPING . $
LOOKING - TO SEE ... LISTENING - TO HEAR ... TOUCHING - TO F
EEL AND HOLDING - HOLDING - HOLDING . $
SEARCHING - TO FIND ... FINDING - TO HAVE ... HAVING - TO KE
EP AND LOVING - LOVING - LOVING . $
HE LOOKED THROUGH A MICROSCOPE - HE LOOKED AT ME - SMEARED A
CROSS A NARROW PIECE OF GLASS . $
HE LOOKED INSIDE ME . $
WHAT DID HE SEE ? $
HE MADE ME BEND ACROSS A HIGH , HARD COUCH AND PUNCHED A HYP
ODERMIC NEEDLE INTO MY BUTTOCK - INTO MY BODY - INTO MY ROTT
ING SOUL - AND SHAME - I WAS ASHAMED . $
01 YES . $
02 DOES THAT MAKE YOU SICK ? $
DARLING - THAT DOESN'T BEGIN TO TELL WHAT IT WAS LIKE ! $
I 'VE DONE THINGS WOULD REALLY TURN YOUR STOMACH . $
I 'VE BEEN TO BED WITH YOU . $
I 'VE TOUCHED YOU . $
I 'VE LET YOU TOUCH ME . $
THINK ABOUT THAT . $
IF ANYTHING IS GOING TO MAKE YOU SICK ! $
HAVE YOU ANY IDEA , DARLING - JUST HOW BAD YOU SMELL ? $
HAS NO ONE EVER TOLD YOU ? $
STANDING IN THE SAME ROOM MAKES ME WANT TO TAKE A BATH IN DI
SINFECTANT . $
YOUR CLOTHES STINK . $
DON'T YOU EVER WASH ? $
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW UGLY YOU ARE ? $
KISSING YOU IS LIKE SWIMMING UNDERWATER IN A SEWER . $
ANYONE GOES TO BED WITH YOU - HE 'S GOT TO BE PRETTY DESPERA
TE . $
01 YOU WENT TO BED WITH ME . $
02 DARLING - LAST NIGHT - I WOULD HAVE FUCKED A PIG . $
01 YOU VICIOUS , DEGENERATE - EVIL ... $
02 YOU COCK-SUCKING , MOTHER-FUCKING CUNT . $
DOES THAT GIVE YOU SOME IDEA , DARLING - HOW I FEEL ? $
WHAT SORT OF CHANCE YOU HAVE - HANGING ABOUT - HOPING TO GET
 INTO ME ! $
01 I DON'T WANT TO - GET INTO YOU ! $
YOU 'RE DISEASED . $
YOU 'RE FILTHY - SICK - DEPRAVED ... $
02 ALL THOSE GOOD THINGS . $
YES - YOU 'RE RIGHT . $
01 I WOULDN'T EVEN TOUCH YOU . $
02 YOU 'RE MUCH TOO GOOD FOR ME . $
01 IF I 'D KNOWN - IF I HAD ANY IDEA ... $
02 YOU 'RE IN NO DANGER . $
THE GOOD DOCTORS CURED ME - AND I 'VE BEEN A LOT MORE CAREFU
L SINCE . $
UNTIL LAST NIGHT , OF COURSE . $
NOTHING I 'VE DONE THIS YEAR I REGRET SO MUCH AS LETTING YOU
 IN HERE LAST NIGHT - LETTING YOU - FUCK ME . $
01 YOU WON'T GET ANOTHER CHANCE . $
02 OH , LOVE . $