*127 $
#61 $
03 QUIET , HENS . $
QUIET , PLEASE . $
GOOD HENS , GOOD AND DECENT HENS . $
CARRY ON LAYING . $
TWO , FOUR , SIX , EIGHT , ONE DOZEN . $
TWO . $
JUST A MINUTE . $
FOUR . $
05 OPEN IN THE NAME OF THE LAW . $
03 SIX . $
COME IN , COME IN . $
EIGHT . $
TWO DOZEN , SOFT SHELLED 'N . $
TWO , FOUR . $
SIX , EIGHT , THREE DOZEN . $
01 GEORGE CRUCIBLE . $
03 JUST A MINUTE , YOU 'LL GET ME CONFUSED . $
01 GEORGE CRUCIBLE , AUTHORITY HAS ARRIVED . $
COULD WE HAVE THAT THING OFF , PLEASE ? $
03 CERTAINLY . $
05 BE UPSTANDING BEFORE THE TABLE , PLEASE , AND PAY ATTENTI
ON TO THE OFFICER . $
#62 $
01 GEORGE CRUCIBLE , ARE YOU GEORGE CRUCIBLE ? $
03 YES - BROADLY SPEAKING . $
05 ANSWER THE QUESTIONS BRIEFLY , PLEASE , AND SAY ' SIR ' W
HEN ADDRESSING THE OFFICER . $
03 SIR . $
01 GEORGE CRUCIBLE , ARE YOU THE OWNER OF THIS MESSUAGE OR D
WELLING HOUSE , SITUATE AT 27 BARRACKS ROAD , SNOBHOUSES , T
HE SAID MESSUAGE OR DWELLING HOUSE ADJOINING AND BEING ADJAC
ENT TO A PLACE OF RELIGIOUS WORSHIP CONSTRUCTED OF CORRUGATE
D IRON AND BEING KNOWN AS CALVARY HALL OR ALTERNATIVELY AS T
HE TIN TABERNACLE , FORMERLY MCCLUGGAGE'S MOTOR REPAIR WORKS
 , NOW DEFUNCT ? $
03 WHAT ? $
05 SIR . $
03 SIR . $
01 DO YOU OWN THIS HOUSE ? $
03 PUT THAT WAY . $
01 GEORGE CRUCIBLE , I AM AN OFFICER OF THE BOG END BOROUGH
COUNCIL - $
03 NOT REALLY THOUGH - $
01 THIS IS MY PATENT OF ACCREDITATION , PHOTOGRAPH AT THE TO
P LEFT . $
03 VERY GOOD LIKENESS . $
NO , NOT YOU . $
ME , I MEANT . $
I DON'T REALLY OWN THIS HOUSE . $
01 GEORGE CRUCIBLE , ARE YOU OR ARE YOU NOT THE LEGAL OWNER
OF THIS HOUSE ? $
03 WELL , YES . $
01 DO LET US GET ON THEN , PLEASE . $
03 IT 'S A FIDDLE , YOU SEE . $
01 A ' FIDDLE ' ? $
03 IT WAS PUT IN MY NAME SO IF THE REVEREND WENT BUST WITH T
HE TIN TABERNACLE THEY COULDN'T GIVE US THE HEAVE-O FROM THE
 HAPPY HOME AS WELL . $
01 THE TIN TABERNACLE BEING THE ADJOINING BUILDING FROM WHIC
H A SONG OF A SPIRITUAL NATURE WAS EMANATING A FEW MOMENTS A
GO ? $
03 THAT 'S RIGHT . $
07 SMITE , O LORD , THY ENEMIES , PULVERIZE THEM THAT MOCK T
HEE , VISIT THY WRATH ON THEM THAT RAISE THEIR HANDS AGAINST
 JERUSALEM , SHATTER THE INIQUITOUS , SUNDER THE ERRING , LA
Y ABOUT THYSELF , LORD GOD OF HOSTS , IN EVERY CONCEIVABLE D
IRECTION . $
08 HALLELUJAH . $
09 HE 'S A BLESSED SAVIOUR . $
01 THANK YOU , THANK YOU . $
THE ORDER DOES NOT IN FACT CONCERN THE TABERNACLE WHICH IS -
 CORRECT ME IF I 'M WRONG - THE PROPERTY OF THE REVEREND ST
JOHN CRUCIBLE . $
03 GIVEN HIM BY A SODOMITE . $
01 BY WHOM ? $
03 A SODOMITE . $
01 WHAT SODOMITE ? $
03 THIS BLOKE MCCLUGGAGE THAT HAD THE GARAGE HERE . $
01 I DON'T QUITE FOLLOW . $
03 HE WAS IN THE AIR FORCE . $
01 WHO ? $
03 BOTH OF THEM . $
01 BOT OF WHOM ? $
03 MCCLUGGAGE AND THE REVEREND . $
01 WHERE DOES SODOMY ENTER INTO IT ? $
03 IN COASTAL COMMAND . $
01 I SEE . $
THEY PRACTISED SODOMY TOGETHER IN COASTAL COMMAND . $
03 NO , THE REVEREND WAS A CHAPLAIN . $
HE PREACHED AGAINST IT . $
01 I SEE . $
03 HARRY AIRBORNE ORDERED HIM TO . $
01 WHO IS HARRY AIRBORNE ? $
03 GROUP CAPTAIN , THEIR CO . $
HE 'S A GUN-RUNNER . $
I 'M SORRY IF I 'M CONFUSING YOU . $
01 I THINK PERHAPS WE 'D BETTER FIRST SPEAK WITH THE REVEREN
D CRUCIBLE . $
WOULD YOU ASK HIM TO COME THROUGH ? $
03 HE 'S NOT HERE . $
01 BUT WE HAVE JUST THIS MOMENT HEARD HIS VOICE UPLIFTED IN
PRAYER . $
03 NO . $
THAT WAS SAM . $
01 SAM WHO ? $
03 SAM SKUNK . $
VERY POWERFUL IN PRAYER , SAM . $
01 YES . $
WHERE COULD WE FIND THE REVEREND CRUCIBLE ? $
03 WITH HIS FATHER , THE RIGHT REVEREND BISHOP CRUCIBLE RETI
RED . $
01 AND WHERE IS HE ? $
03 BALLYSHEBEEN . $
01 IN THE REPUBLIC OF IRELAND ? $
03 WAS LAST WEEK . $
01 MR CRUCIBLE , I THINK PERHAPS YOU 'LL BE LESS FRIVOLOUS W
HEN YOU UNDERSTAND THE IMPORT OF THIS HEARING . $
05 RESUME YOUR PLACE IN THE DOCK , PLEASE . $
01 PLEASE UNDERSTAND , I AM HERE ON THE AUTHORITY OF THE TOW
N CLERK . $
03 AM I ON TRIAL ? $
01 DUE PROCESS IS NOT TO BE FRUSTRATED BY THE KIND OF IRRELE
VANCIES WE HAVE HAD TO HEAR SINCE THE BEGINNING OF THIS HEAR
ING . $
03 I 'M VERY SORRY . $
I DIDN'T - $
01 ALL RIGHT . $
THE TIN TABERNACLE ADJOINING IS THE PROPERTY OF THE REVEREND
 ST JOHN CRUCIBLE - $
03 THAT 'S RIGHT . $
GIVEN HIM BY THIS SODOMITE . $
01 THE PROPERTY OF THE REVEREND ST JOHN CRUCIBLE , AND IS US
ED BY HIM AS A PLACE OF WORSHIP . $
03 YES , BUT THAT DIDN'T PAY ITS WAY IN ITSELF SO WE PARTITI
ONED IT OFF AND WE KEEP POULTRY IN THIS END HERE . $
05 CLOSE THE DOOR AND RESUME YOUR PLACE IN THE DOCK . $
01 THE TABERNACLE , HOWEVER ACQUIRED AND TO WHATEVER PURPOSE
 OR PURPOSES PUT , IS THE PROPERTY OF THE REVEREND ST JOHN C
RUCIBLE , AND THIS DWELLING HOUSE OR MESSUAGE - AND AGAIN RE
GARDLESS OF WHATEVER INTENTIONS INFORMED THE TRANSACTION - I
S IN FACT YOUR LEGAL PROPERTY , HAVING BEEN TRANSFERRED TO Y
OUR OWNERSHIP BY THE SAID REVEREND ST JOHN CRUCIBLE , YOUR F
ATHER . $
03 YES , HE IS MY FATHER . $
01 YOU NEEDN'T REPEAT ME . $
03 WELL , HE ISN'T MY FATHER REALLY . $
01 WHAT RELATIONSHIP DOES HE BEAR TO YOU THEN ? $
03 WELL , I 'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT OF HIM AS MY FATHER . $
01 GEORGE CRUCIBLE , DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I AM A CORPORATI
ON OFFICER , HERE ON THE AUTHORITY OF THE TOWN CLERK ? $
03 YES - YES , SIR . $
01 DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE EXTENT OF THE POWERS OF THE TOWN CL
ERK ? $
03 I KNOW HE MUST BE A VERY IMPORTANT MAN . $
01 IF YOU PERSIST IN IRRELEVANCIES I SHALL HAVE TO ENDORSE T
HESE DOCUMENTS ' SUBJECT NOT OF SOUND MIND ' AND THE TOWN CL
ERK MAY THEN AT HIS DISCRETION COMMIT YOU TO A LUNATIC ASYLU
M FOR 99 YEARS OR THE REST OF YOUR NATURAL LIFE , WHICHEVER
MAY BE THE LONGER . $
03 I WOULDN'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN . $
01 NOR WOULD I . $
NOR WOULD THE CONSTABLE . $
CONSTABLE ? $
05 NO , MR CUBBINS , SIR , I WOULD NOT . $
01 YOU SEE , GEORGE - MAY I CALL YOU GEORGE ? $
03 PLEASE . $
THANK YOU . $
01 YOU SEE , GEORGE , AUTHORITY IS WELL DISPOSED TOWARDS YOU
 . $
THINK OF US , THINK OF THE TOWN CLERK , AS YOUR FRIENDS . $
03 YES , MISTER - $
01 CUBBINS . $
CALL ME MR CUBBINS  . $
03 THANK YOU , MR CUBBINS . $
01 NOW , GEORGE , I WANT YOU - STAND EASY , PLEASE , GEORGE
-  I WANT YOU TO LISTEN CAREFULLY TO THIS ORDER ISSUED BY TH
E TOWN CLERK . $
IT 'S QUITE COMPLICATED . $
THE BEGINNING I WON'T READ IN DETAIL . $
IT DEFINES THE SUBJECT OF THE ORDER WHICH IS THIS HOUSE HERE
 , OF WHICH YOU ARE THE OWNER , AND IT DOES NOT APPLY TO ANY
 ADJOINING BUILDING OR BUILDINGS WHICH IN THIS CONTEXT MEANS
 THE TIN TABERNACLE , WHICH BELONGS TO YOUR FATHER . $
#63 $
NOW FOLLOW THIS : ' WHEREAS NO PLANNING SCHEME WAS IN FORCE
AND OPERATIVE AFFECTING THE SAID MESSUAGE , DWELLING HOUSE O
R PREMISES FOR WHICH PERMISSION FOR ALTERNATIVE USE HAS BEEN
 GRANTED PRIOR TO 1ST JULY , 1948 , AND WHEREBY THE PROPERTY
 IS NOT BY THOSE PRESENT HEREINBEFORE STATED OR OTHERWISE AP
PENDED BY ANY OF THE MATTERS ( RELATING TO THE CONTINUANCE I
N FORCE OF CERTAIN MATTERS UNDER THE TOWN AND COUNTRY PLANNI
NG ACT , 1932 ) REFERRED TO IN PARAGRAPH 7 OF THE TENTH SCHE
DULE TO THE TOWN AND COUNTRY PLANNING ACT , AS CONTINUED IN
FORCE BY THE THIRTEENTH SCHEDULE TO THE TOWN AND COUNTRY PLA
NNING ACT , 1962 , THE OWNER IN FEE SIMPLE OF THE SAID MESSU
AGE , DWELLING HOUSE OR PREMISES MAY BE REQUIRED AND IS NOW
REQUIRED ON OR BEFORE THE EXPIRY OF ONE CALENDAR MONTH , OR
IN THE CASE OF AN ORDER DATED JANUARY 29TH BEFORE MARCH 1ST
, TO SHOW JUST CAUSE WHY THIS ORDER , MADE IN PURSUANCE OF T
HE SAID MESSUAGE , DWELLING HOUSE OR PREMISES MAY BE REQUIRE
D FILE AND DEPOSIT SUCH OBJECTIONS AT SUCH APPROPRIATE OFFIC
ES DESIGNATED IN SCHEDULE C ( DESIGNATION OF APPROPRIATE OFF
ICES ) ATTACHED HERETO . ' $
03 WOULD YOU READ IT AGAIN , MR CUBBINS ? $
01 YES . $
03 I 'M SORRY BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT . $
01 I 'LL READ IT AGAIN . $
03 I 'M SORRY , MR CUBBINS , I WAS BEGINNING TO GET THE HANG
 OF IT AND THEN , YOU KNOW , HERETO AND BEFORE DESCRIBED AND
 NOTWITHSTANDING . $
01 I 'LL READ IT AGAIN . $
BUT HOWEVER MANY TIMES I READ IT , YOU 'LL NOT UNDERSTAND IT
 . $
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE WE READ THIS , ARTHUR ? $
05 A GOOD NUMBER , MR CUBBINS . $
03 I 'M SORRY , BUT IT 'S , LIKE , ALL MUMBO-JUMBO . $
NO OFFENCE . $
01 NONE TAKEN , GEORGE . $
WE MUST HAVE READ IT A THOUSAND TIMES , ARTHUR . $
05 ALL OF THAT , MR CUBBINS . $
01 AND IT 'S MUMBO-JUMBO TO US , WE 'VE GOT TO CONFESS IT .
$
03 YOU FEEL YOU 'RE JUST BEGINNING TO UNDERSTAND IT , THEN D
OWN COMES THIS AVALANCHE OF WORDS . $
01 THAT 'S IT . $
AVALANCHE OF WORDS . $
FORTUNATELY THE LIKES OF YOU AND ME AND THE CONSTABLE HERE D
ON'T HAVE TO GRAPPLE . $
THE TOWN CLERK DOES THAT FOR US . $
03 DOES HE ? $
01 OH YES . $
HE 'S NOT A BIG MAN , QUITE SMALL , BUT NEAT , CLEAN FINGER
NAILS , NICE TAN , WHITE HAIR , THINNING BUT CURLY , VERY WE
LL KEPT . $
DESK COVERED WITH OPEN VOLUMES ALLUDING TO THESE MATTERS , V
ERY WATCHFUL INDEED FOR THE INCONGRUITIES WHICH , WITH THE B
EST WILL IN THE WORLD , CAN OCCUR IN ANY AMENDED LEGISLATION
 . $
THIS SIMPLIFIES THE WHOLE MATTER . $
JUST SIGN THERE , GEORGE . $
03 HERE ? $
01 WHERE I 'VE PUT THE CROSS . $
03 MY FULL NAME ? $
01 YOUR USUAL SIGNATURE . $
JUST SIGN THERE . $
THAT 'S RIGHT , JUST SIGN THERE - AND WE 'LL COME ALONG AND
DEMOLISH YOUR HOME . $
03 OH - I DON'T KNOW WHETHER WE 'D WANT OUR HOME DEMOLISHED
. $
CAN IT WAIT TILL THE REVEREND AND MY MUM GET BACK ? $
01 HARDLY . $
' GIVEN UNDER OUR HAND THIS TWELFTH DAY OF FEBRUARY , WHEREU
NTO WE SET OUR SEAL . ' $
THAT 'S TODAY , YOU SEE , AND SIGNED BY THE TOWN CLERK . $
03 THEY MIGHT COME SWOOPING BACK ANY MINUTE . $
01 WHO ? $
03 MY MUM AND THE REVEREND . $
SWOOPING OUT OF THE CLOUDS . $
01 DO YOUR PARENTS MAKE A HABIT OF SWOOPING OUT OF THE CLOUD
S ? $
03 YES . $
01 I AM TRYING TO GIVE YOU A SYMPATHETIC HEARING . $
I AM TRYING TO BE PATIENT . $
03 THEY HAVE THIS AEROPLANE . $
01 WHAT AEROPLANE ? $
03 HARRY AIRBORNE'S DAKOTA . $
01 HARRY AIRBORNE BEING THE NAME OF A CHARTER COMPANY ? $
03 NO , HARRY AIRBORNE BEING HARRY AIRBORNE , THE REVEREND'S
 OLD CO IN THE AIR FORCE . $
WELL , HE HAS THIS OLD DAKOTA NOW . $
01 A CHARTER AIRCRAFT ? $
03 YES . $
HE 'S A GUN-RUNNER NORMALLY . $
01 AND ABNORMALLY HE FLIES YOUR PARENTS TO THE REPUBLIC OF I
RELAND TO VISIT YOUR FATHER'S FATHER , THE RIGHT REVEREND BI
SHOP CRUCIBLE , IN RETIREMENT AND LIVING AT BALLYSHEBEEN . $
03 THAT 'S IT , MR CUBBINS . $
EXACTLY . $
01 THEN LET US PUT IT ASIDE AND GET ON . $
03 CERTAINLY , MR CUBBINS . $
YOU SEE , HE INSISTS ON IT . $
01 WHO INSISTS ON WHAT ? $
03 THE BISHOP INSISTS ON THE REVEREND ARRIVING BY AIR . $
01 ALL RIGHT , ALL RIGHT . $
03 BECAUSE ALL THE SAMBOS DO . $
01 SAMBOS ? $
03 THE OLD BISHOP OWNS ALL THESE COBALT MINES IN MBUTULAND A
ND ALL THESE HIGHLY EDUCATED SAMBOS FLY IN TO SEE HIM , NICE
 CHAPS . $
01 YES . $
03 SO , OBVIOUSLY HE WON'T COUNTENANCE HIS OWN SON PITCHING
UP IN A JAUNTING CAR . $
01 NO . $
03 I 'M EXPECTING THEM BACK ANY TIME NOW . $
01 BUT YOU CAN'T BE SURE . $
03 NO . $
01 THE DOCUMENTS I HAVE READ YOU RELATE TO TODAY AS TO THE O
RDER GIVEN BY THE HAND OF THE TOWN CLERK AND TO YOURSELF AS
BENEFICIAL OWNER OF THIS DWELLING HOUSE OR MESSUAGE . $
I AM NOT EMPOWERED THEREFORE TO ADJOURN THIS HEARING TO ANOT
HER DAY AND INDEED , WERE I ABLE TO SO , THE EVIDENCE OFFERE
D BY A PERSON OR PERSONS OTHER THAN THE BENEFICIAL OWNER , M
EANING YOURSELF , COULD SCARCELY AFFECT THE OUTCOME . $
03 IT 'S JUST THAT MY MUM HAS A BETTER HEAD FOR THESE THINGS
 . $
01 ALL RESPECT TO THE LADY , BUT THE BEST HEAD FOR THESE THI
NGS IS IN THE TOWN HALL AND ON THE SHOULDERS OF THE TOWN CLE
RK . $
NOW CAN WE PLEASE AVOID FURTHER TALK ABOUT HEADS ? $
03 YES , MR CUBBINS . $
01 THE CONSTABLE AND I ARE BUSY MEN . $
03 YES , MR CUBBINS . $
01 THEN PLEASE SIGN THE ORDER AND LET US BE DONE . $
05 APPEND YOUR SIGNATURE , SIR , FORTHWITH . $
01 THERE 'S THE PEN . $
SIGN . $
03 BUT YOU 'LL DEMOLISH THE HOUSE . $
01 YES . $
03 BUT I DON'T HAVE TO SIGN , DO I ? $
01 YOU DON'T HAVE TO . $
05 BUT YOU 'D BE WELL ADVISED TO , SIR . $
03 THERE MUST BE A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T SIGN . $
01 PUT THAT CHAIR DOWN . $
AND PUT YOUR TRUNCHEON AWAY , ARTHUR . $
05 MUCKING ABOUT ... $
GET THE JOB DONE . $
01 WE 'LL GET THE JOB DONE , ARTHUR , BUT WE 'LL GET IT DONE
 IN A DECENT , CIVILISED WAY . $
IF IT WAS MERELY A QUESTION OF DEHOUSING THE GOOD PEOPLE OF
HIS TOWN WE COULD DO IT WITH A HYDROGEN BOMB . $
THEY 'VE GOT TO BE DEHOUSED LEGALLY AND WITH PROPER REGARD T
O DUE PROCESS . $
05 DUE PROCESS ! $
01 YES , DUE PROCESS . $
THIS IS A HEARTS AND MINDS JOB . $
THE TOWN CLERK WANTS PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND . $
REMEMBER THAT , PLEASE , OR YOU 'LL BE BACK POUNDING THE BEA
T AND WE 'LL GET A CONSTABLE FOR THE DEHOUSING ASSIGNMENT CA
PABLE OF A LITTLE MORE FINESSE . $
#64 $
WE 'VE GOT OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT , HAVEN'T WE ? $
03 YES . $
01 MY FAULT . $
FORGET ABOUT THE HEARING . $
LET 'S TALK , AS MAN TO MAN . $
03 YES . $
01 OR AS FATHER TO SON . $
03 YES . $
01 I FEEL I KNOW YOU , GEORGE . $
03 DO YOU , MR CUBBINS ? $
01 SOMETHING FAMILIAR ... I CAN'T JUST SAY WHAT . $
SOMETHING FAMILIAR , THOUGH . $
HOWEVER . $
NOW YOU WERE ASKING , WHAT WAS IT ? $
YES , YOU WERE ASKING : DOES EVERYBODY SIGN ? $
03 YES . $
01 OUTSIDE SOVIET ELECTIONS AND SOAP COMMERCIALS YOU NEVER G
ET A HUNDRED PER CENT SAYING YES , NOT IN THIS IMPERFECT WOR
LD . $
YOU 'LL ALWAYS HAVE THE ODDITY , PERSONS USUALLY OF VERY LOW
 IQ , NUT CASES , OUT OF STEP , SOME POOR OLD WOMAN , MENTAL
LY ENFEEBLED , VERY SAD , INCONTINENT , POOR OLD SOUL . $
SQUALID , GEORGE , SQUALID . $
THERE ARE THESE EXCEPTIONS , BUT THE VAST MAJORITY - YOU MUS
T HAVE SEEN THEM , GEORGE , ON THAT BOGGY GROUND , OUT ON TH
E DROSSTOWN ROAD - BIDONVILLE . $
03 YOU MEAN ALL THOSE HUTS MADE OUT OF CORRUGATED IRON ? $
01 CORRUGATED IRON , PETROL TINS , ANYTHING THEY CAN LAY THE
IR HANDS ON . $
THERE MUST BE TEN THOUSAND PEOPLE THERE . $
WE 'VE DEHOUSED THEM AND THEY ALL SIGNED , GEORGE . $
NOW , WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO SET AGAINST THAT ? $
WHERE WILL YOU FIND A COLONY OF PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T SIGNED ?
$
03 I DON'T KNOW , MR CUBBINS . $
01 THERE ISN'T ONE , GEORGE . $
YOU CAN COUNT THE PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO SIGN ON ONE HAND . $
ISN'T THAT TRUE , ARTHUR . $
WELL , YOU CAN . $
WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TROUBLE FOR OUR FRIEND ARTHUR HERE . $
THE JOB 'S ALL TOO AMICABLE . $
03 WHY DOES THE TOWN CLERK WANT TO DEHOUSE US ? $
01 PART OF THE PLAN . $
BRIEFLY , YOUR MESSUAGE OR DWELLING HOUSE STANDS IN THE PATH
 OF PROGRESS . $
03 YOU 'RE GOING TO BUILD A MOTORWAY THROUGH IT OR SOMETHING
 ?  $
01 I COULD SAY YES TO THAT , GEORGE . $
A MOTORWAY , A MUNICIPAL LIDO , A NEW TECHNOLOGICAL UNIVERSI
TY . $
I COULD SAY YES . $
BUT WE 'RE TALKING NOW AS FRIENDS , AREN'T WE ? $
03 YES . $
01 AND THIS IS A THING IN ANY CASE ON WHICH WE WANT TO WIN T
HE HEARTS AND MINDS OF ALL THE GOOD PEOPLE WE DEHOUSE . $
SO WE DON'T WANT TO GET AWAY WITH EASY ANSWERS . $
IT MIGHT BE A MOTORWAY , IT MIGHT BE A LIDO , IT MIGHT BE A
UNIVERSITY . $
PROBABLY NOT . $
THESE ARE JUST A FEW OF THE SHAPES PROGRESS CAN TAKE . $
WHAT SHAPE IT WILL TAKE ON THESE PARTICULAR FEW SQUARE FEET
OF GROUND WE CAN'T POSSIBLY KNOW . $
03 DOES THE TOWN CLERK KNOW ? $
01 PROBABLY . $
BUT WHAT HE KNOWS IS TENDENCIES , GEORGE , A PARTLY PERCEIVE
D LINE , CONSTANTLY REVISED , THROUGH PRESENT FACTS AND FUTU
RE IMPONDERABLES . $
IS THAT REASONABLY CLEAR ? $
HOW CAN I PUT IT THEN , GEORGE ? $
TAKE SCIENCE , WELL , IN THE PAST IF WE 'D HAVE SEEN A TOP-N
OTCH SCIENTIST AT WORK WE 'D HAVE HAD A REASONABLE IDEA WHAT
 HE WAS UP TO - DROPPING APPLES , SWINGING PENDULUMS , INVEN
TING ASPIRINS . $
BUT IF WE HAD ONE OF YOUR PRESENT-DAY TOP-NOTCHERS HERE HE C
OULDN'T EXPLAIN , NOT IN WORDS WE 'D UNDERSTAND . $
YOU CAN'T PLAY BEETHOVEN FOR A PARROT . $
YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN ALGEBRA TO A DOG . $
SIMILARLY , THE TOWN CLERK'S CONCEPTS WE CAN VULGARISE FOR T
HE MOB - A MOTORWAY , A LIDO , A NEW UNIVERSITY - WE CAN END
LESSLY EXTRAPOLATE THE PRESENT INTO THE FUTURE ... $
GEORGE , IF WE 'D HAVE LIVED A HUNDRED YEARS AGO , A GRAND C
ARRIAGE AND A FINELY BRED PAIR OF HORSES . $
LIVING THEN , WHAT 'S THE FUTURE ? $
WE CAN PREDICT IT : GRANDER CARRIAGES , FINER BRED HORSES .
$
BUT THE FUTURE , GEORGE , AS WE NOW KNOW , WAS NEITHER CARRI
AGES NOR HORSES BUT SOMETHING INCONCEIVABLY DIFFERENT . $
THE FUTURE WAS THE JUMBO JET . $
03 CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING , MR CUBBINS ? $
01 PLEASE DO . $
03 YOU DEHOUSE PEOPLE ? $
01 YES . $
03 SO THEY 'VE NOWHERE TO LIVE ? $
01 SOMETIMES NOT . $
03 SO THEY GO AND LIVE AMONG ALL THOSE TIN CANS IN BIDONVILL
E ? $
01 YES . $
03 WELL , I MEAN , HOW CAN THAT BE PROGRESS ? $
01 FAIR QUESTION . $
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT , GEORGE , ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED WHEN MA
N CAME DOWN OUT OF THE TREES ? $
03 IT HADN'T SPECIALLY CROSSED MY MIND . $
01 WELL , THERE HE WAS , GEORGE , WOBBLING ON HIS TWO LEGS ,
 FALLING OVER TANGLED ROOTS , BUNGLING ALONG . $
IT MUST HAVE BEEN A RIGHT HOOT TO THE CHIMPANZEES . $
AND WHAT DID THEY ASK THEMSELVES , GEORGE ? $
03 I DON'T KNOW . $
01 THEY ASKED THEMSELVES WHAT YOU ASKED , GEORGE : HOW CAN T
HIS BE PROGRESS ? $
WELL , HERE WE ARE ON TWO LEGS , PLAYING TENNIS , CLIMBING E
VEREST , CAVORTING ABOUT ON THE SURFACE OF THE MOON , AND WH
ERE ARE THEY , GEORGE ? $
STILL UP IN THE TREE TOPS IF THEY 'RE LUCKY AND , IF THEY 'R
E NOT LUCKY , SWINGING ABOUT ON PERCHES , SMOKING CIGS AND E
ATING BANANAS IN THE DAMNED ZOO . $
03 GOING BACK . $
01 WHERE TO ? $
03 THAT THING YOU READ OUT , WHEREAS HERE-IN-BEFORE AND NOTW
ITHSTANDING . $
01 YES . $
03 WELL , DIDN'T THAT SAY I COULD APPEAL ? $
01 IT DID . $
03 WELL , I 'D LIKE TO APPEAL THEN , MR CUBBINS . $
01 IT 'S YOUR CHOICE , GEORGE . $
MY JOB IS JUST TO PUT THE OPTIONS . $
03 BUT WHAT 'LL HAPPEN ? $
01 WELL , CERTAIN INQUIRIES WILL BE PUT IN TRAIN AND , WELL
, USUALLY CERTAIN THINGS COME TO LIGHT IN THE WASH . $
CAN YOU THINK OF A CASE , ARTHUR , WHERE SOMETHING HASN'T CO
ME TO LIGHT ? $
05 ARE WE STAYING HERE ALL DAY ? $
WHY DON'T YOU GET THE JOB DONE ? $
01 THE JOB , IN PART , ARTHUR , IS TO ESTABLISH A MEANINGFUL
 DIALOGUE BETWEEN THE CITIZEN AND AUTHORITY . $
03 BUT WHEN YOU SAY BROUGHT TO LIGHT , WHAT - $
01 WELL , HERE YOU ARE , A YOUNG FELLOW , OFTEN LEFT ON YOUR
 OWN , IT IS JUST THINKABLE , NOT IN YOUR CASE NO DOUBT , BU
T IT IS JUST THINKABLE , CONVIVIAL SATURDAY EVENING , WOMEN
BROUGHT BACK , CRATES OF BEER , TAKES DIFFERENT PEOPLE DIFFE
RENT WAYS , MEN WEEPING , WOMEN FIGHTING , FORNICATION ON A
MASS SCALE IN THE VERY PEWS OF THE TABERNACLE FOR ALL I KNOW
 . $
03 NOT HERE , MR CUBBINS . $
01 I 'M SURE NOT . $
GENERAL EXAMPLES , GEORGE . $
THERE AGAIN , YOUNG CHAP OF YOUR AGE , HUMAN NATURE BEING WH
AT IT IS , MARRIED WOMAN , THE PAIR OF YOU DESHABILLE , PEEP
ING ROUND THE BEDROOM CURTAINS AT 3 AM IN THE MORNING , THE
WRONGED HUSBAND STANDING OUT THERE AT THE STREET DOOR , BLOW
ING ON HIS HANDS TO KEEP WARM . $
03 IT DOESN'T HAPPEN , MR CUBBINS . $
01 OF COURSE NOT , YOU WON'T FIND EVERY WRONGED HUSBAND SO Q
UIESCENT . $
SOME GIVE VOICE - POUNDING ON THE DOOR , SHOUTING , TORRENTS
 OF THREATS AND FOUL LANGUAGE , BOTTLES THROWN THROUGH WINDO
WS . $
IS THAT THE IMAGE WE WANT TO CREATE ? $
03 NO , BUT - $
01 WE HAD A CASE - AND ARTHUR HERE WOULD CONFIRM THIS IF WE
WERE ON SPEAKING TERMS - WE HAD A CASE OF A LOVERS' QUARREL
, THE YOUNG LADY IN QUESTION PUT OUT INTO THE FRONT GARDEN I
N THE EARLY HOURS , VERY OVERWROUGHT , EVENTUALLY GETTING IN
TO SUCH A STATE SHE WENT AND RAPPED AT THE FRONT DOOR . $
#65 $
QUITE A SUBDUED KNOCK , BEARING IN MIND THE STILLNESS OF THE
 NIGHT AND THE SLUMBERING SUBURBS . $
NO RESPONSE , KNOCK AGAIN . $
THEN UP GOES THE BEDROOM WINDOW AND OUT POPS THE HEAD OF HER
 ERST-WHILE LOVER IN HIS NIGHTCAP . $
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MAN SAID , DO YOU KNOW HOW HE SAW FIT
TO ADDRESS THAT DISTRAUGHT LADY ? $
' PISS OFF , ' HE SHOUTS . $
HIS VERY WORDS . $
STARS IN THE SKY , MOONLIGHT ON SUBURBAN ROOFS , WEEPING WOM
AN IN THE GARDEN BELOW . $
' PISS OFF . ' $
THAT 'S NOT THE END OF THE STORY . $
WINDOW SLAMMED DOWN , CURTAINS FALL TO , THEN THE LADY KNOCK
S AGAIN . $
HER TURN FOR A PIECE OF INDELICACY NOW . $
' I 'LL NOT GO WITHOUT MY DRAWERS , ' SHE YELLS . $
' GIVE ME MY DRAWERS BACK . ' $
IS THAT THE KIND OF IMAGE WE WANT , GEORGE ? $
03 NO , MR CUBBINS . $
OBVIOUSLY NOT , MR CUBBINS . $
01 PLEASE SIGN HERE . $
03 BUT , MR CUBBINS . $
01 PLEASE SIGN , GEORGE . $
03 BUT WE DON'T HAVE LADIES HAMMERING ON THE DOOR FOR THEIR
DRAWERS . $
THE SAVED SINNERS WOULDN'T STAND FOR IT . $
01 GEORGE , I 'VE SPOKEN TO YOU AS FATHER TO SON . $
03 YES , MR CUBBINS . $
01 I 'VE EXPLAINED THE TOWN CLERK'S PURPOSES AT SOME LENGTH
. $
03 YES , MR CUBBINS . $
01 IN CHOOSING EXAMPLES OF THE BIZARRE AND THE UNTOWARD - TH
E KIND OF THING THAT MIGHT LEAD TO INSTANT DEHOUSING - I HAV
E SOUGHT NOT TO BE HURTFUL . $
I HAVE OFFERED EXAMPLES WHICH MAY WELL NOT BE APPLICABLE IN
YOUR CASE EXPRESSLY TO AVOID THOSE EXAMPLES WHICH WOULD BEAR
 ON YOUR OWN AND YOUR PARENTS ' - I CAN ONLY THUS DESCRIBE I
T - RUM MENAGE . $
01 COME TO THE TABLE , PLEASE . $
05 STAND TO ATTENTION . $
01 GEORGE CRUCIBLE , YOU ARE THE BENEFICIAL OWNER OF THIS HO
USE ? $
03 AS I EXPLAINED - $
05 ANSWER THE QUESTION . $
03 YES . $
01 WHAT IS YOUR OCCUPATION ? $
03 UNEMPLOYED . $
01 LAST EMPLOYER ? $
03 PEPPERDINE'S TOFFEE WORKS . $
01 REASON FOR LEAVING ? $
03 SACKED . $
01 REASONS FOR SACKING ? $
03 THUMPED MR PEPPERDINE . $
HE WAS ON AT ME EVERY DAY . $
01 YOU STRUCK HIM ? $
03 HE WAS ON AT ME , THEN THUMP , THE OLD ONE-TWO , DOUBLED
HIM UP , STRAIGHTENED HIM OUT WITH A RIGHT AND THERE HE WAS
ON THE CANVAS , AS SAM WOULD SAY . $
01 WHO IS SAM ? $
03 SAM SKUNK . $
OLD BLOKE THAT CAME TO THE DOOR . $
HE 'S THE PREACHER IN THE TABERNACLE . $
WE GO A FEW ROUNDS TOGETHER . $
01 YOU FIGHT ? $
03 IN FUN . $
HE USED TO BE A BOXER . $
01 SO YOU ACQUIRED SKILL IN FISTICUFFS IN BOUTS WITH AN EVAN
GELICAL PREACHER AND PUT IT TO USE BY KNOCKING OUT YOUR EMPL
OYER ? $
03 YES . $
01 THE TABERNACLE BELONGS TO THE REVEREND ST JOHN CRUCIBLE .
$
IS HE IN FACT AN ORDAINED PRIEST ? $
03 HIGH CHURCH . $
01 BUT NOW HE OWNS THE TABERNACLE ? $
03 GIVEN HIM BY A SODOMITE . $
01 AS WE HEARD . $
ONE PART OF IT IS USED FOR RELIGIOUS SERVICES , CONDUCTED BY
 MR SKUNK , THE OTHER AS A POULTRY BATTERY . $
IS THAT SO ? $
03 YES . $
01 THE HOUSE WAS SIGNED OVER TO YOU BY THE SAID REVEREND ST
JOHN CRUCIBLE . $
EXACTLY WHAT RELATION IS HE TO YOU ? $
03 NONE . $
01 HE 'S NOT YOUR FATHER . $
03 NO . $
01 BUT YOU AND YOUR MOTHER LIVE HERE WITH HIM ? $
03 YES . $
01 YOUR MOTHER AS HIS WIFE ? $
03 YES . $
01 WHO IS IN FACT YOUR FATHER ? $
03 SOME SOLDIERS . $
I DON'T REALLY KNOW . $
01 FATHER UNKNOWN . $
AND YOUR QUASI-FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER ARE NOW IN IRELAND VIS
ITING THE REVEREND CRUCIBLE'S FATHER . $
BISHOP IN RETIREMENT . $
03 YES . $
01 PURPOSE OF VISIT ? $
03 GET A LOAN FROM THE REVEREND'S FATHER . $
01 TO BE USED HOW ? $
03 STAY OUT OF PRISON . $
01 EXPLAIN . $
03 WE RAN A RAFFLE AT CHRISTMAS , A SORT OF CHARITY , IN CON
NECTION WITH THE TABERNACLE AND THE HENS , WIN A BIRD FOR AN
 OLD BIRD - YOU KNOW MEANING WIN A CHICKEN FOR A POOR OLD LA
DY - AND THERE WAS A MIX-UP WITH THE CASH . $
01 THANK YOU . $
YOU MAY STAND DOWN . $
03 MR CUBBINS . $
SAM , SAM . $
SAM . $
SAM . $
COME HERE , SAM . $
07 WHAT IS IT , GEORGE LAD ? $
03 SAM , I 'VE BEEN PUT ON TRIAL . $
07 WHO BY ? $
03 MR CUBBINS , HIM THAT WAS SHOUTING WHEN YOU CAME TO THE D
OOR . $
07 I 'VE JUST TO HAVE A PRAYER WITH THE NEWLY SAVED , GEORGE
 , THEN WE 'LL BREW UP . $
03 SAM , THEY 'RE GOING TO KNOCK THE HOUSE DOWN . $
07 WE 'LL SORT IT OUT , GEORGE . $
03 THEY 'RE GOING TO SENTENCE US TO BIDONVILLE AMONG ALL THE
 PETROL TINS . $
07 YOU MUST BE MISTAKEN . $
03 I 'M NOT , I 'M NOT . $
THE TOWN CLERK HAS FOUND US GUILTY . $
07 AND WHO IS THE TOWN CLERK ? $
03 A VERY IMPORTANT MAN . $
07 BUT ONLY A MAN , GEORGE . $
' THE DAYS OF MAN ARE BUT AS GRASS : FOR HE FLOURISHETH AS A
 FLOWER OF THE FIELD . $
FOR AS SOON AS THE WIND GOETH OVER IT , IT IS GONE : AND THE
 PLACE THEREOF SHALL KNOW IT NO MORE . ' $
03 I WISH MY MUM WAS BACK AND THE REVEREND . $
#66 $
03 HARRY'S ENGINE 'S MISSING AGAIN ... $
IT 'LL BE A ROUGH LANDING . $
07 BUT SAFE , GEORGE , SAFE . $
03 HE 'S A GREAT PILOT IS HARRY . $
07 AND THE LORD OF HOSTS IS MIGHTY , GEORGE , AND MERCIFUL T
O THEM THAT TRUST HIM . $
' HE RAISETH UP THE POOR OUT OF THE DUST AND LIFTETH UP A BE
GGAR FROM THE DUNGHILL TO SET THEM AMONG PRINCES AND TO MAKE
 THEM INHERIT THE THRONE OF GLORY : FOR THE PILLARS OF THE E
ARTH ARE THE LORD'S AND HE HATH SET THE WORLD UPON THEM . $
HE WILL KEEP THE FEET OF HIS SAINTS AND THE WICKED SHALL BE
SILENT IN DARKNESS . ' $
02 THERE , LOVE , THAT 'LL DRIVE THE COLD OUT . $
GEORGE ! $
03 A BIT WARMISH , REVEREND ? $
04 NOT REALLY . $
NOT AT ALL , GEORGE . $
YOU REALLY - MUSTN'T - PAMPER ME - LIKE THIS . $
02 YOU DESERVE TO BE PAMPERED , LOVE , AFTER WHAT YOU 'VE GO
NE THROUGH . $
03 WHAT HAVE YOU GONE THROUGH THEN , REVEREND ? $
02 HIS FATHER AND THE VICE ADMIRAL HAD HIM OUT SHOOTING EVER
Y DAY . $
03 I WOULDN'T LIKE TO SHOOT ANIMALS . $
04 IT 'S NOT SO MUCH THE ANIMALS , GEORGE . $
IT 'S THE POOR PEOPLE AT WORK IN THEIR FIELDS THEY MOW DOWN
ACCIDENTALLY . $
IT CAN'T BE THE RIGHT THING . $
02 HOW MANY FUNERAL PROCESSIONS DID WE FLY OVER WHEN WE TOOK
 OFF ? $
HARRY SAID TEN . ^
04 HARRY 'S GIVEN TO EXAGGERATION . $
DURING THE COURSE OF THE WAR HE PERSONALLY SHOT DOWN THE ENT
IRE LUFTWAFFE AND SANK THE U-BOAT FLEET TWICE OVER  . $
02 YOU 'D THINK IT WOULD MAKE YOUR FATHER AND THE VICE ADMIR
AL UNPOPULAR , DECIMATING THE POPULATION FOR THE SAKE OF SPO
RT . $
04 THE PEOPLE RESPECT THEM FOR IT , OF COURSE , AND MY FATHE
R DOES SEND ROUND A RABBIT OR A PARTRIDGE TO BEREAVED HOMES
- BUT STILL , YES , IT 'S NOT THE RIGHT THING . $
02 YOU MUSTN'T GO SHOOTING AGAIN , LOVE . $
04 I SHAN'T . $
BUT IT 'S THE FLIGHT BACK THAT 'S SO CHILLY . $
IF ONLY HARRY WOULDN'T KEEP HIS AEROPLANE WINDOWS OPEN . $
02 THEY 'RE NOT OPEN , LOVE , THEY 'RE OUT . $
AND WHY DOES HE HAVE TO COME CLIPPING OVER WAVE TOPS , DOUSI
NG US ALL WITH FLYING SPRAY ? $
04 WELL , AS I UNDERSTAND IT , HE NEEDS TO ESCAPE DETECTION
. $
HE HAS TO GET IN BELOW THE RADAR . $
02 I DON'T SEE WHY . $
04 SIMPLY THAT HARRY IS PERSONA NON GRATA IN THIS COUNTRY .
$
03 WHAT 'S THAT ? $
04 NOT WELCOME BY THE GOVERNMENT . $
02 WHY NOT - AFTER SHOOTING DOWN ALL THE LUFTWAFFE AND SINKI
NG THE U-BOAT FLEET TWICE OVER ? $
04 HIS POSTWAR ACTIVITIES . $
02 JUST BECAUSE HE DOES AN OCCASIONAL BIT OF GUN-RUNNING - $
04 WELL , YES . $
A SMALL LAPSE IN A LIFE OF MUCH RECTITUDE . $
BUT MEN , MY DEAR , ARE NOT SO FORGIVING AS GOD , AND HARRY
IS PERSONA NON GRATA TO THE GOVERNMENT . $
02 AND YOU 'RE PERSONA NON GRATA TO YOUR FATHER . $
03 OH YES - I FORGOT TO TELL YOU , MUM . $
I 'M PERSONA NON GRATA TO THE TOWN CLERK . $
02 HOW ? $
03 BLOKE JUST WALKED IN AND PUT ME ON TRIAL . $
02 WHAT FOR ? $
03 DON'T KNOW . $
THUMPING MR PEPPERDINE , I THINK . $
02 WHAT DID HE WANT ? $
03 DEMOLISH THE HOUSE . $
02 WE GET SOME CASES IN HERE . $
ANYWAY , LOVE , DON'T SETTLE DOWN . $
HARRY WANTS YOU TO GO AND HOLD HIS SPANNERS . $
HE 'S HAVING TO STRIP HIS ENGINES DOWN . $
04 I 'LL GO . $
02 YOU 'LL STAY HERE . $
04 NO REALLY . $
WALK OUT , START THE CIRCULATION . $
02 YOU 'LL BE NO USE TO HIM , LOVE . $
04 OH , BUT I AM . $
YOU UNDERESTIMATE ME . $
I SHINE THE TORCH WHILE HE PEERS UNDER HIS COWLINGS . $
02 HE WON'T BE READY YET . $
03 DID YOU BROACH THE QUESTION OF A LOAN FROM YOUR FATHER ,
REVEREND ? $
02 NOT NOW , GEORGE . $
ST JOHN IS TIRED . $
03 SORRY . $
04 NOT AT ALL , NOT AT ALL . $
GREATLY REFRESHED . $
HE BREACHED IT , GEORGE . $
03 DID HE FORK UP ? $
04 NO . $
02 HOW WAS IT LEFT ACTUALLY ? $
04 WELL , UNRESOLVED . $
CURIOUS LITTLE INCIDENT . $
WE 'D RETURNED FROM BOMBARDING THE COUNTRYSIDE AND WE WERE S
ITTING EITHER SIDE OF THE LIBRARY CHIMNEY PIECE - VERY APPRE
HENSIVE SITUATION ALTOGETHER . $
HE LOWERED HIS CHURCH TIMES AND SAID , ' WHAT ARE YOU HERE F
OR , ST JOHN - MONEY ? ' $
02 WHAT A BALD WAY TO PUT IT . $
04 ' YOU 'VE BEEN A DISAPPOINTMENT TO ME , MY BOY , ' HE SAI
D . $
03 THAT 'S NOT VERY ENCOURAGING . $
02 BUT THEN WHAT ? $
04 NOTHING . $
WENT BACK TO READING THE CHURCH TIMES . $
03 DID YOU NOT EXPLAIN TO HIM YOU MIGHT GO TO PRISON ? $
04 THAT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN POLITIC . $
02 YOU COULDN'T HAVE TOLD HIM LOVE . $
WIN A BIRD FOR AN OLD BIRD CONTEST , AND GETTING MIXED UP WI
TH THE FUNDS - IT 'S JUST NOT HIS WORLD , CHRISTMAS RAFFLES
. $
03 BUT HE 'S A BISHOP , A CHRISTIAN . $
YOU 'D THINK HE 'D BE ABLE TO OVERLOOK A BIT OF EMBEZZLEMENT
 . $
04 WELL YES , BUT I HAVE TRIED HIS PATIENCE IN MANY WAYS THR
OUGH THE YEARS . $
I WAS AFTER ALL THE ONLY CHAPLAIN IN THE AIR FORCE EVER TO B
E REDUCED TO THE RANKS . $
IT REALLY WAS A TERRIBLE BLOW TO MY FATHER WHEN I ARRIVED AT
 HIS CATHEDRAL WEARING MY CLERICAL COLLAR AND A CORPORAL'S S
TRIPES . $
02 NO WONDER HARRY AIRBORNE IS PERSONA NON GRATA . $
04 CHAIN OF EVENTS , DARLING . $
02 STARTING WITH HARRY . $
HE ORDERED YOU TO PREACH THOSE SERMONS . $
04 HE WAS ONLY TRYING TO BE HELPFUL , DARLING . $
I WAS NEW TO THE HEBRIDES AND COASTAL COMMAND . $
HARRY WAS COMMANDING OFFICER AND VERY APPROACHABLE , AND IT
WAS MY INITIATIVE . $
I DID SEEK HIM OUT AND ASK HIM WHAT I MIGHT MOST USEFULLY PR
EACH ABOUT TO THE MEN . $
03 IS THAT WHEN HE SAID SODOMY ? *
04 IN BROAD TERMS , AS A SIDELINE . $
' AVOID POLITICS AND RELIGION , PADRE , ' HE SAID . $
' CRACK DOWN ON SODOMY . ' $
02 THERE WAS NO NEED TO GO ON WITH IT EVERY CHURCH PARADE .
$
04 WELL , YES , IN RETROSPECT , AN ERROR OF JUDGMENT , BUT H
E WAS PREOCCUPIED WITH THE BATTLE OF THE ATLANTIC AND , WELL
 , IN HIS WAY HE WAS JUST TRYING TO BE NICE . $
02 BY TELLING YOU TO PREACH ABOUT SODOMY EVERY SUNDAY FOR EI
GHTEEN MONTHS ? $
04 HE WISHED TO AVOID SEEMING CRITICAL . $
' YOU 'RE DOING VERY NICELY PADRE , ' HE SAID . $
' CARRY ON ON MUCH THE SAME LINES . ' $
02 IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN OBVIOUS THAT YOU NEEDED TO CHANGE YOU
R TUNE WHEN THEY BROADCAST YOUR SERVICE ON THE WIRELESS . $
#67 $
04 IN RETROSPECT , MY DEAR . $
BUT I DON'T BLAME MYSELF OR HARRY . $
I CARRIED OUT THE LAST ORDER GIVEN , IN THE MANNER REQUIRED
OF AN OFFICER , AND HARRY WAS NOT IN A POSITION TO COUNTERMA
ND IT , BEING HOPELESSLY LOST IN TURBULENT WEATHER SOMEWHERE
 ABOVE THE COAST OF GREENLAND AT THE TIME . $
02 BUT HE BUST YOU DOWN TO CORPORAL . $
04 THE AIR MINISTRY , MY DEAR . $
OBVIOUSLY ONE CAN SEE THEIR POINT OF VIEW . $
PROTESTANT SERMONS ON SODOMY , WELL SUITED THOUGH THEY UNDOU
BTEDLY WERE TO THE PERSONNEL OF THE STATION , COULD CONCEIVA
BLY GIVE A DISAGREEABLE IMPRESSION OF THE AIR FORCE WHEN BRO
ADCAST TO THE POPULACE AT LARGE . $
02 YOUR FATHER DIDN'T ACTUALLY REFUSE YOU A LOAN , ST JOHN ?
 $
04 HE 'S SO OBLIQUE , MY DEAR . $
02 DO YOU THINK HE STILL HAS ANY MONEY , LOVE , OR IS IT ALL
 A FACADE ? $
04 WELL , NO , THE COBALT MINES . $
02 BUT WEREN'T THOSE NATIONALISED AT THE LAST REVOLUTION ? $
04 THERE WAS TALK OF IT CERTAINLY , BUT MR NKRINKA NGRINGA W
AS AT BALLYSHEBEEN AGAIN , SO I CAN'T THINK ANYTHING CAME OF
 IT . $
03 WHAT 'S HE THEN ? $
IS HE A SORT OF BLACK FIDEL CASTRO ? $
04 OH NO , A VERY CORRECT GENTLEMAN . $
SOMETHING IN THE MBUTU GOVERNMENT , THE TREASURY , I THINK .
$
OH , I FORGOT TO TELL YOU , DARLING , THE BAD NEWS OF AN OLD
 CHUM OF MINE , PERCY PSALTER , BISHOP OF MBUTULAND . $
DID YOU EVER MEET HIM ? $
02 I DON'T THINK SO , LOVE . $
WHAT 'S HAPPENED TO HIM ? $
04 THEY 'VE EATEN HIM , APPARENTLY . $
02 I AM SORRY , LOVE . $
YOU MUST WRITE TO HIS WIDOW . $
04 WELL , NO , I GATHER THEY ATE HER TOO . $
03 AS HORS D' OEUVRES . $
04 OR AS PUDDING , AS THE CASE MAY BE . $
MR NKRINKA NGRINGA WAS TERRIBLY EMBARRASSED . $
ALMOST UNHEARD OF THING THESE DAYS , APPARENTLY . $
02 YOUR GRANDFATHER - $
04 OH , IN MY GRANDFATHER'S TIME IT WAS QUITE RAMPANT . $
HE MUST HAVE GONE IN DAILY FEAR OF THE POT . $
BUT THERE WE ARE . $
ALL HE HAD IN MBUTULAND IN 1890 WAS A TIN TABERNACLE MUCH AS
 WE HAVE HERE AND BY 1914 HE 'D WON SEVEN MILLION SOULS FOR
CHRIST AND ACQUIRED A CONTROLLING INTEREST IN THE COBALT MIN
ES . $
03 HOWEVER DID HE DO THAT ? $
04 TACITURN CHAP , NEVER TALKED VERY MUCH . $
BEADS AND BIBLES IN THE USUAL WAY , I SUPPOSE . $
I RATHER THINK THEY WANT ME TO GO OUT THERE . $
02 DID MR NKRINKA NGRINGA SAY SO ? $
04 NOT EXACTLY . $
RATHER SPLENDID CAPITAL CITY APPARENTLY , SOME THOUGHT THAT
A THOROUGHFARE MIGHT BE NAMED AFTER MY GRANDFATHER . $
AS I UNDERSTAND HIM , MR NKRINKA NGRINGA SEEMED TO THINK IT
MIGHT BE RATHER APPROPRIATE IF I WERE TO SEE MY WAY - THE VA
CANT BISHOPRIC IS , IT SEEMS , QUITE FIRMLY IN THE PRIME MIN
ISTER'S GIFT . $
THAT THEY DID SUCCEED IN NATIONALISING . $
02 YOU 'VE ALWAYS FANCIED A CATHEDRAL , HAVEN'T YOU , LOVE ?
 $
03 IT 'D SUIT YOU , REVEREND , SPIRES AND BELLS AND EVERYTHI
NG . $
04 OH , I DON'T KNOW . $
02 YOU COME FROM A CHURCH FAMILY , LOVE - YOUR FATHER AND YO
UR GRANDFATHER BISHOPS AND ALL YOUR UNCLES RIDDLED WITH WOOD
WORM . $
YOU 'RE WASTED IN A TIN TABERNACLE LIKE THIS . $
04 BUT IF IT SHOULD BE THAT NOTHING COMES OF OUR PLOYS AND P
RAYERS AND IF , AS I SUPPOSE MUST BE INEVITABLE , THE MATTER
 OF THE UNSUPPLIED BIRDS IS PUT IN THE HANDS OF THE POLICE ,
 PERHAPS THEN ONE'S THOUGHTS MIGHT TURN TOWARDS THE BISHOPRI
C . $
03 I DON'T THINK MINE WOULD REALLY , REVEREND . $
02 WHY NOT ? $
03 WELL , ALL CONSIDERED , HE 'S BETTER STAYING HERE AND GOI
NG TO PRISON THAN GOING THERE AND BEING EATEN . $
04 PUT THAT WAY , OF COURSE . $
02 IF YOU 'RE GOING TO HELP HARRY AIRBORNE , SKIP OFF . $
THERE 'S SOME LONG-WINDED SINNERS DUE . $
JUST A MINUTE . $
TAKE YOUR TORCH , LOVE , TO SHINE IN HIS COWLING . $
JUST A MINUTE , PLEASE . $
I 'M SORRY . $
I WAS TIDYING UP . $
WERE YOU EXPECTED ? $
01 PROBABLY . $
02 WELL , THE REVEREND JUST POPPED OUT AND SAM SKUNK 'S COND
UCTING EVENING SERVICE IN THE TABERNACLE . $
HE WON'T BE LONG . $
HAVE A SEAT . $
WALTER ! $
01 MARJORIE . $
MARJORIE PRINGLE , ISN'T IT ? $
02 OH , WALTER , WHAT A LOVELY SURPRISE . $
YOU 'VE HARDLY CHANGED AT ALL . $
COME AND SIT DOWN . $
I 'LL TRY AND CATCH HIM . $
GEORGE ! $
ST JOHN ! $
GEORGE ! $
02 I HUSTLED THEM OUT WHEN YOU KNOCKED . $
THOUGHT IT WAS SOME SAVED SINNER PITCHING UP . $
I DON'T WANT THEM TO MISS YOU . $
HOW LONG CAN YOU STAY ? $
NEVER MIND , SIT DOWN . $
HAVE A DRINK . $
YOU WILL STAY TILL THEY COME BACK . $
YOU 'VE NEVER MET MY FAMILY , HAVE YOU ? $
GEORGE - I WROTE TO TELL YOU ABOUT GEORGE - BUT MY HUSBAND S
T JOHN , HE 'S A CLERGYMAN , HE OWNS THIS PLACE . $
HE WOULD BE PLEASED TO MEET YOU . $
LET ME TAKE YOUR HAT , LOVE . $
HOW DID YOU FIND US ? $
NEVER MIND , I CAN'T BELIEVE IT AFTER ALL THIS TIME . $
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF . $
01 I 'M THE DEHOUSING OFFICER . $
02 I HEARD YOU WERE SOMETHING IMPORTANT , WHO WAS IT TELLING
 ME ? $
IT 'S SO LONG AGO . $
I AM PLEASED FOR YOU , LOVE . $
HAVE YOU HAD YOUR TEA ? $
I KNOW WHO IT WAS WHO WAS TELLING ME , BETTY WHITTLE - DO YO
U REMEMBER HER ? $
AND WHAT IS IT YOU ARE EXACTLY , WALTER ? $
01 THE DEHOUSING OFFICER . $
02 WHERE ? $
01 BOG END . $
02 OVER THE RIVER HERE ? $
HAVE YOU BEEN THERE ALL THESE YEARS ? $
FANCY YOU AN OFFICER IN THE NEIGHBOURING DISTRICT . $
01 IN THIS DISTRICT . $
WE 'VE TAKEN YOU OVER , UNDER THE BOUNDARY COMMISSION . $
02 ISN'T IT A SMALL WORLD ? $
WHAT IS IT YOU ARE AGAIN , WALTER ? $
01 THE DEHOUSING OFFICER . $
02 ISN'T THAT LOVELY FOR US ALL . $
OH , I WISH I HADN'T PUSHED THEM OFF OUT . $
YOU REMEMBER BETTY WHITTLE , BLONDE , GONE GREY NOW , USED T
O WEAR GREEN . $
DO YOU SEE HER ? $
DO YOU SEE ANY OF THAT CROWD WE USED TO GO DANCING WITH AT B
LACKPOOL ? $
WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT POLISH AIRGUNNER ? $
PADER - PADEREWSKI - WHAT WAS IT , USED TO PLAY THE PIANO ?
$
FLY OFF TO CRACOW , FLY OFF TO CRACOW , WHO 'S GOING TO FLY
OFF TO CRACOW WITH ME ? $
AND HE SANG AS HE SWUNG HIS REAR-GUNNER'S TURRET ROUND , WHO
 'S GOING TO FLY OFF TO CRACOW WITH ME ? $
01 MARJORIE ... I 'M A DIFFERENT MAN . $
02 YOU HAVEN'T A GREY HAIR , HARDLY A DAY OLDER . $
01 I 'VE CHANGED . $
02 YOU COULDN'T HAVE GONE ON AS YOU WAS , WALTER . $
YOUTH 'S WILD MOMENTS . $
THAT OFFICER YOU USED TO FLOG ALL THOSE SOAP COUPONS TO , WH
AT DID HE DO WITH ALL THAT SOAP ? $
01 I WAS IN ON ALL THE RACKETS IN THAT ORDERLY ROOM . $
02 SERGEANT TOMLINSON . $
01 FLOGGED THREE LORRY LOADS OF DRAWERS LONG MIXTURE TO A CH
EMIST . $
02 AMMUNITION BOXES . $
01 BELTS , WEBBING . $
02 BLOUSES , BATTLEDRESS KHAKI . $
01 SHIRTS , FIELD SERVICE . $
02 OVERALLS , DENIM . $
01 GUNS , STEN . $
02 CAPS , FIELD FORAGE . $
#68 $
01 NETS , HELMET CAMOUFLAGE . $
01 02 YOU NAME IT , WE 'LL FLOG IT . $
01 HAPPY DAYS . $
I MARRIED . $
02 WHAT 'S SHE CALLED ? $
01 MRS CUBBINS ... HILDA . $
02 NICE NAME . $
WHERE DO YOU LIVE ? $
01 NEW ESTATE , LUMBLEY . $
HANDY FOR THE TOWN HALL . $
02 IT 'D HAVE TO BE , WOULDN'T IT ? $
01 GAS-FIRED CENTRAL HEATING . $
02 THROUGHOUT ? $
01 THROUGHOUT . $
DEARER THAN OIL BUT CLEANER . $
02 ANY CHILDREN ? $
01 NO , WE HAVEN'T BEEN BLESSED , NOT IN THAT PARTICULAR DIR
ECTION . $
02 KEEP PLUGGING AWAY , LOVE , YOU NEVER KNOW YOUR LUCK . $
WILL YOU HAVE A CUP OF TEA ? $
01 NO THANKS , IT KEEPS ME AWAKE . $
I KNOW WHAT YOU MUST THINK . $
02 HOW , WALTER ? $
01 YOU MUST THINK THE SPARKLE 'S GONE . $
02 COURSE IT HASN'T . $
IT 'S YOUR SPARKLE THAT GOT YOU THERE . $
01 WHERE ? $
02 WHERE YOU ARE - DELOUSING OFFICER , DIDN'T YOU SAY ? $
01 DEHOUSING . $
NOT QUITE THE SAME KIND OF SPARKLE . $
WE HAD SOME GOOD TIMES , DIDN'T WE ? $
02 HAPPIEST DAYS OF OUR LIVES . $
EVERYBODY SAYS WHAT A GREY TIME IT WAS - NATIONAL SERVICE ,
RATIONING - $
01 OUR LITTLE PARTIES WEREN'T TOO BADLY AFFECTED BY RATIONIN
G . $
I WAS SMART , MARJORIE . $
02 VERY SMART . $
01 AND WILD . $
02 AND WILD . $
01 AND GAY . $
02 GAY AS A GADFLY . $
01 ONE DAY I SAW EXACTLY WHAT I 'D BEEN DURING THOSE YEARS .
 $
02 HOW DO YOU MEAN , WALTER ? $
01 I WAS ON ORDERLY ROOM SPIV . $
02 YOU ENJOYED LIFE . $
01 THAT WAS MY SPECIALITY . $
I WENT ON ENJOYING IT . $
GAY PARTIES ? $
WE HAD ONE IN THE TOWN HALL WHEN I CAME BACK - PARKS AND CEM
ETERIES DEPARTMENT , CHRISTMAS EVE , GOING DARK , ALL OF US
CLERKS , EARNING SEVEN POUNDS TEN A WEEK , BEER IN TEA CUPS
, PIMPLY GIRLS HOPING TO BE SEDUCED BEHIND THE COKE HOPPER ,
 BALDING CLERKS HOPING TO BE CAPABLE OF OBLIGING . $
02 IT COULDN'T BE CHAMPAGNE FOR EVER , LOVE . $
01 I REALLY SAW MYSELF , MARJORIE , A SMALL CLERK , A LITTLE
MAN . $
02 NEVER . $
NOT WHEN YOU WERE IN THE ARMY , WALTER . $
01 A SMALL CLERK WITH A CUSHY NUMBER IN THE ORDERLY ROOM AND
 SOAP AND CIGS TO FLOG ON THE BLACK MARKET . $
02 YOU WERE VERY YOUNG . $
01 THE TOWN CLERK WAS ONLY A FEW YEARS OLDER . $
02 PERHAPS HE HAD CHANCES YOU DIDN'T HAVE . $
01 NO , HE WAS BROUGHT UP BY A WIDOWED MOTHER - STILL LIVES
WITH HER IN ONE OF THOSE BIG HOUSES , OVER THE RIVER , TOP S
IDE OF THE PARK . $
NO , HE 'D SPENT HIS YOUTH WORKING , I 'D SPENT MINE PULLING
 STRINGS , BREAKING THE RULES , DEFYING AUTHORITY . $
02 AND YOU SAW THE LIGHT , AS SAM SKUNK SAYS . $
01 NOT QUITE LIKE THAT . $
I GOT INVOLVED BACK HERE IN THE CORPORATION IN ALL SORTS OF
LITTLE RACKETS . $
FIVE BOB ON THE SIDE AND WE 'D GET YOU A NICER NICHE IN THE
CREMATORIUM WALL , THAT SORT OF THING . $
ONE TIME WE GOT IN WITH THE MAYOR'S CHAUFFEUR , USED THE MAY
ORAL ROLLS ROYCE AS A TRAVELLING KNOCKING SHOP , CIRCUITING
THE PARK SLOWLY AT NIGHT . $
02 YOU MUST HAVE HAD SOME LAUGHS . $
01 LAUGHS , ALL RIGHT , BUT WHERE WE GOING ? $
WE WEREN'T 21 ANY LONGER . $
AND THEN THREE OF THEM WENT TO PRISON FOR FRAUDULENTLY FLOGG
ING THE CORPORATION STEAMROLLER . $
02 YOU WEREN'T IN ON IT ? $
01 NOT SO THEY COULD TOUCH ME . $
BUT THE TOWN CLERK KNEW , OF COURSE . $
HE SENT FOR ME . $
' I WANT YOU TO BECOME A RENT COLLECTOR , ' HE SAID . $
NO ALLUSION , NO EXPLANATION , NOTHING , JUST THAT . $
HE HAS A RATHER CURIOUS MANNER FOR A MAN WITH ALL HIS AUTHOR
ITY , SPRINGS FROM SHYNESS , I THINK . $
YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN AN INTERVIEW 'S FINISHED . $
YOU CAN FIND YOURSELF SAYING SOME RATHER DAFT THINGS JUST TO
 FILL THE SILENCE . $
ANYWAY , THAT WAS IT - PROMOTION , RENT COLLECTOR . $
LOOKED OUT OF THE WINDOW AND THERE WERE ALL MY PALS THAT HAD
 FLOGGED THE STEAMROLLER , FILING OUT OF THE POLICE STATION
, CHAINED TOGETHER , OFF TO SERVE THEIR SENTENCE . $
02 WHAT A LOVELY STORY , WALTER . $
YOU MUST GET UP IN THE TABERNACLE AND GIVE YOUR TESTIMONY FO
R SAM SKUNK . $
HAVE ANOTHER DRINK , LOVE . $
YOU CAN'T BEAT A STEADY JOB WITH A PROPER AUTHORITY . $
I WISH ST JOHN HAD STAYED IN THE ESTABLISHED CHURCH . $
YOU MUST MEET HIM . $
LOVELY MAN . $
01 YOU 'RE HAPPILY MARRIED ? $
02 VERY HAPPILY MARRIED - EXCEPT , OF COURSE , THAT WE 'RE N
OT MARRIED . $
HE WAS ONCE MARRIED TO A CHORUS GIRL BUT SHE WENT LIVING WIT
H THIS WEIGHT-LIFTER . $
01 WHICH WEIGHT-LIFTER ? $
02 I DON'T KNOW . $
PERHAPS HE WAS A LION TAMER . $
ANYWAY , THERE WAS HIS MARRIAGE , AND HE 'D BLOTTED HIS COPY
BOOK IN THE AIR FORCE AND HIS FATHER WOULDN'T HELP AND ALL H
E COULD GET WAS A CURACY WHERE HIS STIPEND WAS A TITHE OF TH
E TURNIP HARVEST . $
01 WHICH WOULDN'T AMOUNT TO VERY MUCH . $
02 WHICH AMOUNTED TO NOTHING . $
IT WAS ALL FACTORIES AND HOUSES . $
THERE 'D BEEN NO TURNIPS GROWN FOR 150 YEARS . $
BUT , AS SAM SKUNK SAYS , THE LORD WILL PROVIDE , AND THIS R
EPENTANT SODOMITE GAVE ST JOHN THE TIN TABERNACLE . $
01 SO IT WORKED OUT REASONABLY WELL ? $
02 I WOULDN'T SAY THAT . $
HE 'S SO IMPRACTICAL , LIVES IN A DREAM . $
IT WAS A GARAGE WHEN IT WAS GIVEN HIM , WHEN THIS SOD EMIGRA
TED TO AUSTRALIA , BUT OF COURSE IT 'S A TIN BUILDING AND HI
S GRANDFATHER MADE HIS STACK WITH A TIN TABERNACLE , SO ST J
OHN NIPPED STRAIGHT INTO THE HOT GOSPEL BUSINESS WITHOUT PAU
SING TO THINK WHETHER IT WAS REALLY HIS CUP OF TEA . $
OF COURSE , IT ISN'T . $
HE 'S TOO EDUCATED ALTOGETHER FOR THAT MOB OF SINNERS OUT TH
ERE . $
WHEN I CAME HERE - I WAS THE CARETAKER BUT OF COURSE ONE THI
NG LED TO ANOTHER - WHEN I CAME HERE WE HAD A CONGREGATION O
F FOUR HUNDRED . $
HE EMPTIED THE PLACE WITH ONE SERMON : IS GOD DEAD ? $
THAT WAS THE QUESTION HE ASKED . $
01 WHAT ANSWER DID HE GIVE ? $
02 ' NOT QUITE . ' $
CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT . $
'  IS GOD DEAD ? $
NOT QUITE . ' $
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MOB OF SINNERS OUT THERE ? $
THEY DON'T WANT ' IS GOD DEAD ? ' $
WHAT THEY COME FOR IS SIN , PLENTY OF IT AND IN PLENTY OF DE
TAIL . $
IF WE DIDN'T HAVE SAM SKUNK TO DO THE PREACHING WE 'D HAVE G
ONE BUST TEN YEARS AGO . $
NEVER TIE YOUR CAPITAL UP IN A TIN TABERNACLE , LOVE . $
IT 'S ONE LONG HEADACHE . $
01 I 'M SORRY YOU 'VE HAD IT ROUGH . $
02 IT 'S NOT ROUGH , WALTER . $
IT 'S A LOVELY HOME . $
07 CAN I BRING THE SAVED SINNERS IN FOR FIVE MINUTES , LOVE
?  $
02 IS IT THAT TIME ALREADY , SAM ? $
HOW MANY ARE THERE ? $
07 HALF A DOZEN . $
IF WE COULD JUST HAVE FIVE MINUTES OF PRAYER AND REPENTANCE
IN THE CORNER . $
02 WHEN YOU LIVE ON THE JOB , IT 'S 24 HOURS A DAY . $
WHO ARE THEY , SAM ? $
07 CHILDREN OF GOD . $
02 WHAT YOU MEAN IS THAT YOU 'VE GOT A FILE OF SCROFULOUS OL
D MEN WAITING BEHIND THAT DOOR . $
07 THEY 'RE STILL GOD'S CHILDREN . $
02 I 'M NOT DISPUTING THAT , LOVE , BUT THEY 'RE STILL SCROF
ULOUS OLD MEN . $
LOOK , I HAVE A FRIEND HERE I HAVEN'T SEEN FOR TWENTY YEARS
. $
DO THEY HAVE TO COME IN FOR A PRAYER . $
TAKE THEM ACROSS THE ROAD , LOVE , AND BUY THEM A PINT . $
LOOK , I 'M BROKE , LOVE . $
TAKE IT OUT OF THE COLLECTION AND I 'LL GIVE IT YOU BACK OUT
 OF THE EGG MONEY ON FRIDAY . $
AND SAM , IF YOU COULD NIP ACROSS TO THE PLAYING FIELDS AND
ASK ST JOHN AND GEORGE TO COME BACK . $
AND COME BACK AS QUICK AS YOU CAN YOURSELF , LOVE . $
LET 'S ALL SIT ROUND AND HAVE A TALK . $
#69 $
I DON'T LIKE TO SEND THEM AWAY , BUT THEY STINK THE PLACE OU
T IF THEY COME IN . $
THEY 'RE ALL THESE OLD CHAPS FROM BIDONVILLE . $
THEY 'VE NOTHING TO DO , POOR OLD SOULS , SITTING AMONG THE
PETROL CANS , AND THEY COME DOWN HERE AND GET SAVED EVERY OT
HER NIGHT JUST TO KEEP WARM . $
01 THEY 'RE ALL SCUM UP IN BIDONVILLE . $
02 NOT SCUM , WALTER . $
THEY STINK , BUT ANYBODY WOULD , LIVING IN CONDITIONS LIKE T
HAT . $
01 THEY STANK BEFORE , WHEN THEY LIVED IN THE SLUMS . $
02 THE SLUMS WERE HOMES , WALTER . $
THEY MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN PALACES , BUT - $
01 ANY PROGRESSIVE COMMUNITY MUST DEMOLISH SLUMS . $
02 BUT COULDN'T THEY HAVE BEEN GIVEN SOMEWHERE ELSE TO LIVE
INSTEAD OF JUST LETTING THEM DRIFT OUT TO BIDONVILLE ? $
01 THEY WERE HOUSED IN OUR NEW HIGH-RISE FLATS . $
02 BUT THERE AREN'T ENOUGH FOR EVERYBODY . $
HALF OF BOG END HAS BEEN LEVELLED , MILES OF SLUM CLEARANCE
SITES NOW , AND WHAT IS IT , THREE OR FOUR BLOCKS OF HIGH-RI
SE FLATS . $
01 AND SOME OF THOSE ARE EMPTY . $
WE 'VE AMPLE ACCOMMODATION FOR ANY DECENT PEOPLE WE DEHOUSE
. $
YOU CAN'T BUILD A CITY OF THE TOWN CLERK'S VISION WITH THE K
IND OF PEOPLE WHO WIND UP IN BIDONVILLE . $
02 I DON'T KNOW , WALTER . $
01 OH , THERE WAS A TIME WHEN I THOUGHT LIKE YOU . $
I WAS THE MOST POPULAR RENT COLLECTOR IN BOG END , THE MOST
AFFABLE . $
02 YOU WERE ALWAYS AFFABLE , WALTER . $
01 ONE FAMILY , SHIFTLESS PAIR REALLY BUT VERY FRIENDLY IN T
HEIR WAY , OLD GRANNIE , LOVELY LITTLE CHILD , YOU WOULD HAV
E SAID , THREE YEARS OLD . $
' MR BOBBINS , ' SHE CALLED ME , THIS LITTLE TOT , THIRTEEN
FLOORS UP IN OUR HIGH-RISE FLATS . $
MR BOBBINS . $
PAINTED HER LITTLE PICTURES FOR ME , SENT ME CHRISTMAS CARDS
 . $
I 'D ALWAYS HAVE A BIT OF SOMETHING FOR HER , BAG OF LIQUORI
CE ALL-SORTS , LITTLE TOY AMBULANCE . $
02 THEY LOVE PRESENTS AT THAT AGE . $
01 ONE FINE DAY I WAS DOWN IN THE FORECOURT AT THE BOTTOM .
$
LITTLE FACE APPEARS THIRTEEN FLOORS UP OVER THE BALCONY . $
' MR BOBBINS , MR BOBBINS ' . $
STEPPED BACK , ' HELLO , PATRICIA , ' I SHOUTED . $
THAT WAS HER NAME . $
' HELLO , PATRICIA . ' $
WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED ? $
02 OH , SOMETHING AWFUL . $
DON'T TELL ME . $
01 ' HELLO , MR BOBBINS , ' SHE SHOUTED . $
THEN SHE HEAVED THE JERRY OVER THE BALCONY AT ME . $
02 EMPTIED THE CONTENTS OVER YOU ? $
01 CONTENTS ! $
FORGET THE CONTENTS . $
THE VESSEL ITSELF , THE METAL JERRY , HURLED IT OVER THE BAL
CONY AT ME . $
WHISTLING DOWN THIRTEEN STOREYS - CAN YOU IMAGINE IT ? - 32
FEET PER SECOND , PER SECOND . $
IT MISSED ME , BUT BY GOD IT EMBEDDED ITSELF IN THE CONCRETE
 FORECOURT AND IT 'S THERE TO THIS DAY . $
02 OH , WELL , CHILDREN , WALTER . $
01 I KNOW , I KNOW . $
BUT IT 'S THE ATTITUDE BEHIND IT , MARJORIE . $
IT 'S BRED INTO THEM , THEY 'RE BORN WITH IT . $
02 BUT NOTHING PERSONAL , WALTER . $
01 CERTAINLY NOTHING PERSONAL . $
I DARESAY HALF THE POPULATION OF BIDONVILLE THINK OF ME AMON
G THEIR BEST FRIENDS . $
02 I 'M SURE THEY DO , WALTER . $
01 NO ILL-FEELING ON EITHER SIDE . $
A LADY STOPPED ME IN THE SUPERMARKET - COUPLE OF MONTHS BACK
 , IT WOULD BE - LADY STOPPED ME . $
' DO YOU REMEMBER ME , MR CUBBINS ? ' SHE SAID . $
FRANKLY , I DIDN'T . $
I CAN'T REMEMBER THEM ALL . $
' YOU DEHOUSED ME TWICE , ' SHE SAID , ' ONCE AS A MISS PILL
ING , THEN UNDER MY MARRIED NAME , MRS BOLES ' . $
02 WAS SHE LIVING IN BIDONVILLE ? $
01 THERE YOU HAVE IT . $
' MY HUSBAND 'S LEFT HOME , ' SHE SAID . $
' BOLES HAS BOLTED . ' $
BUT THAT 'S SYMPTOMATIC , MARJORIE . $
NICELY DRESSED WOMAN , TWO CHILDREN SPRUCE ENOUGH . $
DOESN'T IT DAWN ON THEM THAT NO MAN IS GOING TO COME BACK AF
TER A DAY'S WORK AND SIT IN A COLD HUT MADE OF PETROL TINS ?
 $
02 BUT WHAT ELSE CAN THEY DO , WALTER ? $
I MEAN , IF YOU DEHOUSE THEM AND ESPECIALLY IF YOU DOUBLY DE
HOUSE THEM WHERE ELSE CAN THEY END UP BUT BIDONVILLE ? $
01 THEY DON'T END UP IN BIDONVILLE , MARJORIE . $
THEY START THERE . $
BIDONVILLE , AS THE TOWN CLERK SAYS , BIDONVILLE IS A STATE
OF MIND . $
03 MUM ! $
MUM ! $
HELP ME , I 'VE GOT HIS WHEEL . $
02 GEORGE IS HERE NOW . $
IT WAS GEORGE YOU REALLY CAME TO SEE , WASN'T IT ? $
01 YES . $
03 MUM , MUM . $
03 WE CAN'T GET FINISHED , SO WE 'VE IMMOBILISED IT FOR THE
NIGHT . $
02 IS ST JOHN WITH YOU ? $
03 HE 'S WAITING FOR THE OLEOS . $
02 GEORGE , THERE 'S SOMEBODY I WANT YOU TO MEET . $
03 WHO ? $
02 YOUR FATHER . $
03 I 'LL JUST GET WASHED OFF . $
01 I DIDN'T KNOW . $
02 I THOUGHT YOU 'D COME TO SEE HIM , WALTER . $
THAT 'S WHAT YOU SAID . $
01 BUT NOT IN A PATERNAL ROLE , MARJORIE . $
I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS HIS FATHER . $
02 BUT I WROTE TO YOU AT THE TIME , LOVE . $
01 ABOUT GEORGE ? $
02 I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GOING TO TURN OUT TO BE GEORGE , BUT
 I SAID IN MY LETTER IT 'D BE SOMETHING . $
DID YOU NOT GET IT ? $
01 IN THOSE DAYS , MARJORIE , I 'M AFRAID I RECEIVED A VERY
LARGE CORRESPONDENCE ALONG THOSE LINES . $
02 I KNOW , WILD OATS . $
JENNY GREEN SAID HER SID WAS YOURS . $
01 JENNY GREEN'S SID ? $
02 AND MYRTLE MATTHEW'S MAVIS . $
01 MYRTLE MATTHEW'S MAVIS . $
02 AND BETTY BRIDGE'S BOBBY . $
BUT SHE THINKS THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE POLISH AIRGUNNER . $
01 I 'M GLAD I HAD SOME AIR SUPPORT . $
02 YOU DID VERY WELL . $
AFTER ALL , IT WAS ONLY A WEEKEND HOBBY . $
YOU WERE WORKING VERY HARD IN THAT ORDERLY ROOM ALL WEEK . $
GEORGE , COME OVER , SON , AND MEET YOUR FATHER . $
03 HE 'S NOT MY FATHER . $
02 HE IS , GEORGE . $
03 HE 'S THE DEHOUSING OFFICER . $
02 HAVE YOU MET ? $
03 HE WAS THE BLOKE I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT BUT YOU WOULDN'T
 LISTEN . $
HE 'S THE DEHOUSING OFFICER . $
02 IT 'S YOU THAT 'S NOT LISTENING , GEORGE . $
HE IS THE DEHOUSING OFFICER . $
HE 'S ALSO YOUR FATHER . $
03 OH WELL , THEN . $
WELCOME HOME . $
02 I KNEW HE 'D BE GLAD TO SEE YOU , WALTER . $
03 WHERE DID IT HAPPEN ? $
02 WHAT HAPPEN ? $
03 WHERE DID HE GET ME UNDER WAY ? $
02 OH . $
AT BLACKPOOL . $
03 THAT 'S NICE . $
WHERE AT BLACKPOOL ? $
02 UNDER THE PIER , I THINK . $
03 VERY GOOD . $
WHICH PIER ? $
02 CENTRAL . $
03 GREAT ! $
I WOULDN'T LIKE TO THINK I 'D STARTED UNDER THE NORTH PIER .
 $
02 NOT THE NORTH . $
03 OR THE SOUTH FOR THAT MATTER . $
02 NO , CENTRAL . $
DEPEND ON YOUR MUM , GEORGE , TO GIVE YOU THE BEST START IN
LIFE . $
03 THE BEST OF EVERYTHING . $
WHAT TIME WAS IT ? $
02 WAS WHAT ? $
#70 $
03 WHEN HE - $
02 BE SEPTEMBER , WOULDN'T IT ? $
IT HADN'T GONE DARK . $
03 YOU MEAN I WAS BEGOTTEN UNDER THE PIER IN BROAD DAYLIGHT
WITH THE SALVATION ARMY BAND BLARING AND THE DONKEYS CANTERI
NG PAST ? $
02 TWILIGHT , BUT THE CHAP WAS STILL DOWN AT HIS SHRIMP STAL
L . $
DO YOU REMEMBER , WALTER ? $
01 VAGUELY . $
02 I SAID , ' IS THAT CHAP WATCHING US ? ' $
YOU SAID , ' NO , HE 'S SELLING SHRIMPS . ' $
01 IT 'S COMING BACK NOW , BUT THAT WASN'T THE TIME . $
02 IT WAS , WALTER . $
01 NO - $
03 NEVER MIND , NO DOUBT YOU 'LL SORT IT OUT . $
HAVE YOU COME BACK ABOUT - $
01 IT WAS IN FANNY FAWCETT'S ULTRA FASHIONABLE BOARDING HOUS
E ON THE TOP FLOOR NEXT TO THE BATHROOM . $
02 THAT , WALTER , WAS MYRTLE MATTHEW'S MAVIS . $
FANNY FAWCETT CAME AND BANGED ON THE DOOR AND SHOUTED THERE
'D BE NO GOINGS ON . $
01 THAT 'S RIGHT . $
02 JUST IN TIME TO BE TOO LATE , BECAUSE BY THEN MAVIS WAS G
OING ON . $
01 WAS THAT MYRTLE ? $
02 SHE TOLD ME SO , AND IT CERTAINLY WASN'T ME . $
NO , OUR GEORGE WAS UNDER THE PIER . $
WE COULDN'T GET INTO SEE HARRY KORRIS SO WE WENT DOWN AND SA
T UNDER THE PIER , WATCHING THE TIDE GO OUT . $
YOU SAID , 'WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO ? ' $
I SAID , ' THE PICTURES ' . $
YOU SAID , ' THERE 'S NOTHING ON . ' $
SO I SAID , ' THE PUB , THEN ? ' AND YOU SAID , ' THERE 'LL
BE NOBODY IN YET . ' $
SO WE WATCHED THE TIDE GO OUT A BIT LONGER THEN YOU BEGOT GE
ORGE . $
01 I WAS YOUNGER AT THE TIME . $
MY HAIR HADN'T STARTED TO RECEDE . $
03 NOT AT ALL . $
NOT AT ALL . $
AND IT WAS IN THE OPEN AIR . $
02 HOW DO YOU MEAN ? $
03 WELL , NOT SQUALID , NOT IN A COAL PLACE LIKE , OR A CHUR
CH VESTRY OR UP AGAINST A WALL AFTER CLOSING TIME . $
01 NOT IN THE LEAST . $
A MOST SALUBRIOUS SPOT . $
03 THANK YOU . $
01 ME ? $
03 FOR GOING TO THE TROUBLE . $
01 MY PLEASURE ENTIRELY . $
02 AND MINE . $
03 AND MINE , TOO . $
IT 'D HAVE BEEN A SAD THING IF THE TIDE HAD BEEN IN AND I 'D
 MISSED OUT ON THIS LOT . $
02 COURSE HE 'S GROWN IN THE MEANTIME . $
03 BUT THAT RIGMAROLE THIS AFTERNOON . $
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY - $
02 COME IN , SAM . $
SAM , THIS IS AN OLD ACQUAINTANCE , MR CUBBINS . $
HE BEGOT GEORGE . $
SAM SKUNK . $
07 VERY GOOD . $
SORRY I DIDN'T HAVE TIME BEFORE . $
02 SAM WAS A BOXER BEFORE HE RECEIVED THE CALL . $
03 THE COUNT , WASN'T IT ? $
02 WHAT COUNT ? $
03 WHAT SAM RECEIVED . $
IT WASN'T THE CALL , IT WAS THE COUNT , WASN'T IT ? $
02 HE NEVER TOOK A COUNT , DID YOU , LOVE ? $
07 I TOOK COUNTS , BUT NEVER THE FULL COUNT . $
02 YOU WERE NEVER KNOCKED DATELESS ? $
07 NEVER . $
02 YOU WERE NEVER PUNCHED GROGGY ? $
THEY NEVER HAD TO SCRAPE YOU UP OFF THE CANVAS ? $
07 NEVER . $
02 THE COUNT AND THE CALL ARE DIFFERENT THINGS , GEORGE . $
DON'T GIVE YOUR FATHER A BAD IMPRESSION OF YOUR UPBRINGING .
 $
03 SORRY , NO OFFENCE . $
07 NOW - DON'T TELL HIM , DON'T TELL HIM - WHO 'S THAT MAN I
N THE PICTURE ? $
THAT 'S ME ON THE RIGHT . $
WHO 'S THAT MAN WITH THE TOWEL OVER HIS HEAD ? $
YOU 'RE TOO YOUNG . $
HE WAS BEFORE YOUR TIME . $
KID KLEE , DANISH , SEVEN YEARS UNDEFEATED LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMP
ION OF THE WORLD . $
I MET HIM THREE TIMES AT GATESHEAD BATHS . $
WE WENT THE WHOLE DISTANCE THREE TIMES AND I DON'T THINK WE
GOT MORE THAN THIRTY BOB BETWEEN US , THIRTY ROUNDS , A BOB
A ROUND . $
THERE 'S BEEN INFLATION SINCE THEN IN THE EVERLASTING MERCY
OF THE LORD . $
IT 'S BEEN A DELIGHT TO MEET YOU . $
I MUST SEE TO THE HENS . $
02 DON'T GO , SAM . $
03 I 'LL SEE TO YOUR HENS . $
02 NO , STAY HERE , BOTH OF YOU . $
YOU HEARD ME SAY HE WAS GEORGE'S FATHER . $
07 ARE YOU SAVED ? $
01 ME ? $
HOW ? $
07 HAVE YOU GIVEN YOURSELF TO THE LORD AND SAVIOUR ? $
ARE YOU SAFE AND SURE IN THE SAVIOUR'S GRACE ? $
01 I 'VE AS MUCH CHANCE OF SALVATION AS I HAVE OF WINNING TH
E POOLS . $
07 NOT AT ALL . $
IF YOU 'D HAVE SEEN ME WHEN I WAS FIGHTING , THE COMPANY I K
EPT - PUBLICANS AND SINNERS , BOOKIES AND WHORES - A PROPER
HIGH-STEPPER . $
OH , BUT HE WAS WAITING , PATIENTLY , WAITING IN HIS EVERLAS
TING MERCY , PATIENTLY WAITING . $
HE 'LL SAVE YOU . $
04 GEORGE . $
02 HERE 'S ST JOHN NOW . $
02 SURPRISE , ST JOHN . $
THIS IS GEORGE'S FATHER . $
04 MY DEAR CHAP . $
I AM DELIGHTED . $
WHAT A MARVELLOUS THING FOR ALL OF US . $
02 ST JOHN , THE WHEEL . $
04 THE WHAT ? $
YES , INDEED . $
WHAT A LOVELY SURPRISE . $
02 ST JOHN , YOUR HANDS . $
YOU 'RE OILING MR CUBBINS UP . $
04 I DO BEG YOUR PARDON . $
WIPE IT ON THE CUSHION . $
THAT GLASS IS EMPTY . $
02 CAN'T WE HAVE A MOMENT'S PEACE . $
SEND THEM AWAY , SAM . $
04 CUBBINS . $
MY TUTOR AT WELLS WAS A CUBBINS - I DON'T SUPPOSE BY ANY CHA
NCE ? $
ONE OF THE NORFOLK CUBBINS . $
05 THE DEMOLITION MACHINE IS OUTSIDE , MR CUBBINS . $
THE DRIVER IS READY TO PROCEED . $
01 WAIT OUTSIDE , CONSTABLE . $
01 MARJORIE , I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I SHOULD FIND YOU HERE . $
OR THAT THE LEGAL OCCUPANT WOULD PROVE TO BE A PERSON SIRED
BY ME , HOWEVER UNKNOWINGLY . $
IN A WORD , I AM HERE NOT IN MY CAPACITY AS FORMER LOVER AND
 RETURNED FATHER BUT IN PURSUIT OF MY OFFICIAL DUTIES AS DEH
OUSING OFFICER . $
03 THAT 'S WHAT I WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU , MUM . $
IT 'S CONFUSING . $
HE CAME AND PUT ME ON TRIAL . $
01 THE CASE WENT AGAINST YOU , GEORGE . $
YOUR HOME IS TO BE DEMOLISHED BY ADMINISTRATIVE DECREE ISSUE
D BY THE TOWN CLERK . $
THE DEMOLITION MACHINE STANDS OUTSIDE . $
04 DEAR CUBBINS , THIS IS DISCONCERTING . $
YOU MUST GIVE US A MOMENT . $
01 FORTHWITH , THE ORDER STATES , AND I AM FURTHER REQUIRED
TO SAY THAT THE DEMOLITION OF THE HOUSE WILL IN THE NATURE O
F THE CONSTRUCTION DEPRIVE THE ADJOINING BUILDING OF STRUCTU
RAL SUPPORT AND THAT THE TIN TABERNACLE MUST THEREFORE ALSO
BE DEMOLISHED IN THE INTERESTS OF PUBLIC SAFETY . $
07 WHAT 'S HE SAYING ? $
02 HE 'S GOING TO DEMOLISH THE TABERNACLE BY ORDER OF THE TO
WN CLERK . $
#71 $
07 THE LORD GOD OF HOSTS , MIGHTY IN BATTLE , WILL NOT SUFFE
R HIS TABERNACLE TO BE RAZED . $
HE WHO SMOTE THE MOABITES AND JEBUSITES , THE SODOMITES AND
THE TROTSKYITES , TO HIM THE TEMPORAL AUTHORITIES ARE BUT CH
AFF OF THE FIELD . $
' UPON THE WICKED HE SHALL RAIN SNARES , FIRE AND BRIMSTONE
, AND AN HORRIBLE TEMPEST ; THIS SHALL BE THE PORTION OF THE
IR CUP . ' $
01 THE ADMINISTRATIVE DECREE , GIVEN BY THE HAND OF THE TOWN
 CLERK , THIS SAID DAY OF FEBRUARY . $
07 ' HE SHALL SMITE THE EARTH WITH THE ROD OF HIS MOUTH AND
WITH THE BREATH OF HIS LIPS SHALL HE SLAY THE WICKED . ' $
04 OF COURSE , OF COURSE . $
BUT , DEAR SAM , LET US KEEP THE TEMPERATURE DOWN . $
07 TEMPERATURE IS ON THE SIDE OF THE RIGHTEOUS . $
' THEY THAT DO INIQUITY HE SHALL CAST INTO A FURNACE OF FIRE
 ; AND THERE SHALL BE WAILING AND GNASHING OF TEETH . ' $
I 'M GOING TO ENTER INTO COLLOQUY WITH THE LORD . $
04 INDEED , INDEED . $
HE SHOULD BE PUT AU COURANT . $
07 IF YOU WANT ANYBODY THUMPED , JUST KNOCK . $
04 DEAR SAM . $
I SUPPOSE , MR CUBBINS , THERE WOULD BE COMPENSATION . $
01 ALL RATEPAYERS ARE ENTITLED TO COMPENSATION . $
04 AND WITH OUR RESIDUAL MODICUM , DARLING , WE MIGHT SETTLE
 THE UNFORTUNATE MATTER OF THE CHRISTMAS RAFFLE AND REPAIR -
 I DON'T KNOW - TO SOME COUNTRY CURACY . $
02 WHAT IS IT , WALTER ? $
01 A TECHNICALITY . $
02 WE ARE ENTITLED TO COMPENSATION ? $
01 RATEPAYERS ARE ENTITLED TO COMPENSATION . $
04 GOOD , GOOD . $
01 BUT THE DEHOUSED BY DEFINITION CEASE TO BE RATEPAYERS AND
 THE RIGHT TO COMPENSATION IS REGRETTABLY BUT QUITE LOGICALL
Y CO-TERMINUS . $
02 YOU MEAN YOU KNOCK THE PLACE DOWN AND THEN BECAUSE YOU 'V
E KNOCKED IT DOWN YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY COMPENSATION FOR KNO
CKING IT DOWN ? $
01 QUITE . $
WE CAN ONLY PROCEED ON A RATIONAL BASIS . $
02 WALTER , GEORGE HAS NEVER KNOWN YOU UNTIL TODAY . $
HE NEEDS TO ADMIRE YOU , WALTER . $
01 I COULD PERHAPS SPEAK TO THE TOWN CLERK . $
04 LET 'S ALL HAVE A DRINK . $
01 I 'VE NEVER SPOKEN , APPEALED , TAKEN ISSUE WITH THE TOWN
 CLERK BEFORE . $
I 'D HARDLY KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN . $
I 'VE NEVER UNDERSTOOD ANY EXPLICIT CRITERIA . $
02 THAT 'LL BE ALL RIGHT THEN , WON'T IT , LOVE ? $
01 BUT RUNNING THROUGH IT ALL WHERE WE HAVE ACTED THERE HAS
, I THINK , BEEN A COMMON DENOMINATOR . $
WHAT THE TOWN CLERK FROWNS UPON IS THE BIZARRE AND THE UNTOW
ARD . $
04 I CAN SEE THAT . $
WE HAVE BEEN A BIT BIZARRE , DARLING . $
02 HAVE WE ? $
04 YES , AND SOMEWHAT UNTOWARD FROM TIME TO TIME . $
MY DEAR CUBBINS , THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING OUT FRANKLY . $
WE SHALL GIVE IT UP . $
01 IF I COULD ASSURE THE TOWN CLERK . $
04 DO ASSURE HIM . $
WE ARE QUITE CHASTENED . $
LET 'S DRINK TO THAT . $
AN END TO THE BIZARRE AND THE UNTOWARD . $
10 AN END TO THE BIZARRE AND THE UNTOWARD . $
06 OPEN UP . $
ANYBODY AT HOME ? $
SHOP ! $
06 WHERE IS IT , THEN ? $
03 WHERE 'S WHAT ? $
06 YOUR COIN-OP CREMATORIUM . $
03 I 'M SORRY , THERE 'S NO COIN-OP CREMATORIUM HERE . $
06 THERE BETTER HAD BE A COIN-OP CREMATORIUM HERE . $
03 IT 'S NOT THE NIGHT FOR JOKES REALLY . $
MY FATHER 'S JUST COME HOME . $
06 IS THIS CALVARY HALL ? $
03 YES . $
06 CALVARY HALL COIN-OP CREMATORIUM . $
TWENTY-FOUR HOUR SERVICE . $
IS THIS YOUR LEAFLET ? $
WHO HAD THESE LEAFLETS PRINTED AND SHOVED UNDER THE DOORS ?
$
04 OH , GOOD GRACIOUS ME . $
02 IS THIS ANOTHER OF YOUR SCHEMES , ST JOHN ? $
04 BUT ONLY A THOUGHT AT THE BACK OF THE MIND . $
02 THAT LEAFLET . $
04 I DO REMEMBER . $
IT WAS URGED UPON ME BY THE PRINTER , SHORT OF WORK , POOR M
AN . $
I 'D NO IDEA THEY 'D BEEN DISTRIBUTED . $
06 WHERE 'S THE OVEN , THEN ? $
04 NOT READY , I 'M AFRAID . $
06 YOU 'D BETTER STOKE IT UP , HADN'T YOU ? $
04 DEAR BOY , THERE 'S BEEN A FRIGHTFUL MUDDLE , ALL MY FAUL
T . $
I REALLY AM SO SORRY . $
COULD I OFFER YOU EARTH BURIAL TOMORROW ? $
06 EARTH BURIAL TOMORROW . $
WE WANT HIM UP THE FLUE TONIGHT . $
THE LADIES ARE OUTSIDE , WAITING TO COME IN FOR A CRY . $
01 THIS IS BIZARRE , YOU KNOW . $
THERE 'S NO OTHER WORD FOR IT . $
03 LOOK , WE 'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF DELICATE NEGOTIATIONS . $
WOULD YOU MIND IF JUST FOR A MINUTE WE TRUNDLED IT OUT ? $
06 IT ? $
IT ? $
IT IS OUR DAD . $
03 CONDOLENCES . $
BUT COULD WE TRUNDLE HIM OUT AGAIN ? $
COULD IT WAIT - $
06 IT COULD AND I MIGHT BUT HE CAN'T . $
HE 'S GOING OFF IN THERE . $
03 JUST FOR TEN MINUTES , WHILE WE HAVE THIS CONFERENCE . $
HAVE A WORD . $
ASK HIM TO BEAR UP . $
06 WHO ARE YOU , THEN ? $
03 HIS SON . $
06 WHAT 'S YOUR GAME ? $
01 NOW THEN , NOW THEN . $
02 SAM ! $
SAM ! $
07 WATCH HIS HEAD . $
SHOVE HIM OFF . $
PIN HIM ON YOUR LEFT . $
HEAVE IT OUT , GEORGE . $
HEAVE IT OUT . $
#72 $
03 REVEREND ! $
07 HEAVE IT OUT . $
05 HOLD IT . $
02 LOVE , SIT DOWN WITH YOUR GUARDIAN . $
THEY 'LL CALL YOU WHEN THEY GET THE NUMBER . $
04 YES , YES INDEED . $
WHAT DID GEORGE THINK THEY SAID ? $
02 HE TOLD YOU , LOVE , IT WAS ALL CONFUSION . $
HE 'S NOT GOOD IN DIFFICULT SITUATIONS . $
GEORGE . $
SAM . $
NOW COME ON , LOVE , AND SIT DOWN . $
03 07 MORNING , REVEREND . $
04 AH , GEORGE , SAM . $
07 SEE SCRAGGS WAS TOOK THE DISTANCE LAST NIGHT . $
03 USUALLY IS . $
07 GOT NO PUNCH . $
03 NICE FOOTWORK . $
07 NO PUNCH , THOUGH . $
03 OH NO , NO PUNCH . $
02 ST JOHN , COME AND EAT YOUR BREAKFAST , LOVE . $
THE PHONE WON'T RING ANY EARLIER FOR BEING STARED AT . $
04 WHO DID YOU ACTUALLY SPEAK TO ON THE TELEPHONE , GEORGE ?
 $
03 THEY WERE BOTH TALKING AT ONCE , MRS MCCARTHY AT BALLYSHE
BEEN POST OFFICE AND MR O'DONOVAN . $
04 I 'M SO SORRY TO PRESS YOU - $
03 NOT AT ALL , REVEREND . $
HE WAS DOING HIS BEST BUT I THINK HE WAS TALKING INTO THE WR
ONG END OF THE TELEPHONE . $
04 YOU HEARD NOTHING CLEARLY ? $
03 SHE TOLD HIM WHAT TO DO - STAND TO ATTENTION , SPEAK INTO
 THE END WITH A HOLE IN IT AND ALLOW HIS WORDS TO BE BORNE A
WAY ON THE STREAM OF SOUND . $
04 AND THEN HE SPOKE ? $
03 BAWLED AT THE TOP OF HIS VOICE , COULDN'T MAKE OUT A WORD
 , THEN SHE WAS SHOUTING , ' YOU 'RE SHOUTING , MR O'DONOVAN
 . ' $
AND HE SHOUTED , ' I 'M SHOUTING TO BE HEARD , MRS MCCARTHY
, DON'T SHOUT AT ME , ' THEN THEY WERE BOTH SHOUTING AT EACH
 OTHER , THEN THE LINE WENT DEAD . $
04 HM . $
IT MUST BE GOOD NEWS . $
GOOD NEWS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF THING THAT EXCITES MR O'DON
OVAN . $
03 THAT 'S EXACTLY WHAT HE SOUNDED LIKE - AS THOUGH HE 'D BE
EN EXCITED BY EXACTLY THE KIND OF THING THAT EXCITES HIM . $
04 GOOD NEWS . $
AND INDEED TO BE RINGING AT THAT HOUR . $
BEEN MY FATHER'S MAN FOR 20 YEARS . $
VERY CLOSE TO HIM . $
I DID BROACH THE MATTER OF A LOAN WITH O'DONOVAN , NOT VERY
HOPEFULLY AT THE TIME , BUT NOW IT DOES SEEM - $
02 LOOK , LOVE , HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT . $
THEY 'LL RING AS SOON AS THEY 'VE GOT THE CALL THROUGH . $
GEORGE , IS HARRY AIRBORNE NOT COMING TO HIS BREAKFAST ? $
03 HE HAD SOME CORNFLAKES WHEN HE CALLED FOR HIS WHEELS . $
WANTS TO PRESS ON WITH THE JOB . $
02 HAD HE BEEN WORKING ALL NIGHT ? $
04 HE 'S DOING A MORE THOROUGH JOB THAN USUAL . $
HIS FLIGHTS OUT TO MBUTULAND INVOLVES A NUMBER OF RATHER NAS
TY HOPS OVER WATER . $
03 WHAT 'S HE GOING THERE FOR ? $
04 MR NKRINKA NGRINGA OFFERED HIM A CONTRACT , I GATHER , WH
ICH ON THE FACE OF IT SEEMED RATHER NICE . $
OH , COME ON . $
RING . $
07 SEE JIM WICKS HAS PUT IT BACK AGAIN . $
03 INCOME TAX ? $
07 HMM . $
03 KID OF FIVE CAN PLAY FIFTEEN MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS . $
07 TALENTED LAD . $
03 A GIRL . $
07 TALENTED GIRL . $
04 CALVARY HALL . $
REVEREND CRUCIBLE SPEAKING . $
YES , I 'M HOLDING ON ... $
HELLO , HELLO . $
YES ... $
YES . $
YES , INDEED . $
WOULD YOU KEEP MRS POTTER A DOZEN EGGS , SAM , AND A SMALL F
OWL FOR THE WEEKEND . $
02 COME AND HAVE YOUR BREAKFAST , LOVE . $
IT 'LL TURN OUT TO BE SOMETHING AND NOTHING . $
THERE 'S A BIT IN THE GUARDIAN ABOUT MBUTULAND . $
03 IT 'S NOT RIGHT . $
02 WHAT 'S WRONG ? $
03 I DON'T KNOW . $
IT 'S A SWITCH HE CALLS HIS MAG DROP . $
IT SHOULD RUN SLOWER BUT NOT AS SLOW AT ALL THAT . $
02 POOR HARRY . $
GEORGE , GO AND TELL HIM FROM ME TO COME AND HAVE SOME BREAK
FAST . $
MR NKRINKA NGRINGA WON'T BE GOING WITHOUT HIS BREAKFAST . $
03 HE 'LL BE HAVING THE ORGANIST . $
07 YOU CAN'T BEAT AN EGG . $
02 CALVARY HALL ... $
YES , I 'LL HOLD ON . $
THEY 'RE PUTTING IT THROUGH ... $
HELLO . $
YES , JUST A MOMENT . $
04 O'DONOVAN . $
HOW TERRIBLY NICE ... $
YES ... $
REALLY ... $
THANK YOU , O'DONOVAN . $
BUT HOW ? $
... THE VICE-ADMIRAL ? $
... SORRY , I MISSED THAT ... $
YES ... $
WHAT A STRANGE THING TO HAPPEN ... $
BUT THIS LEADS US TO THE MATTER OF ... $
YOU CAN ? $
... IF YOU WOULD ... $
YES , INDEED , O'DONOVAN , MAY THE GOOD GOD HAVE MERCY ON AL
L OF US . $
03 IS HE GOING TO SEND US THIS LOAN , THEN , REVEREND ? $
02 GEORGE . $
03 SORRY . $
02 SIT DOWN , LOVE , HAVE YOUR BREAKFAST . $
04 GOD MOVES IN A MYSTERIOUS WAY . $
MY FATHER PASSED AWAY PEACEFULLY AT DAWN . $
02 I 'M SORRY , LOVE . $
03 POOR OLD RIGHT REVEREND , NICE OLD CHAP REALLY . $
02 HE WAS SO FULL OF LIFE . $
03 HE 'S NOT NOW , IS HE ? $
07 WE SHOULDN'T BE MOURNFUL . $
HE 'S GONE TO HIS REWARD . $
02 IT WAS SUDDEN , LOVE . $
WAS IT A STROKE ? $
04 HE WAS SHOT . $
02 SHOT ? $
04 BY THE VICE-ADMIRAL . $
02 IT 'S NOT A SURPRISE REALLY . $
A HUNTING ACCIDENT ? $
04 APPARENTLY NOT . $
A DUEL . $
#73 $
02 A DUEL ? $
04 ACCORDING TO O'DONOVAN . $
A MATTER OF A LADY'S NAME , I GATHER . $
THE VICE-ADMIRAL , IT SEEMS , IS QUITE DEADLY WITH A PISTOL
. $
PUT A BALL SQUARELY BETWEEN MY POOR FATHER'S EYES . $
02 GEORGE , GO AND TELL HARRY AIRBORNE TO COME FOR HIS BREAK
FAST . $
07 I 'VE JUST SEEN HIM . $
HE DIDN'T WANT ANY . $
02 WELL , GIVE THE HENS THEIR MASH . $
07 THEY 'VE GOT IT . $
02 PUT THE HYMNBOOKS OUT THEN , LOVE . $
07 SOON . $
02 I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE 'RE ALL SITTING ROUND FOR . $
07 THE REVEREND DOES . $
02 DO YOU UNDERSTAND HIM , ST JOHN ? $
04 I 'M AFRAID , MY DEAR , I DO . $
02 WELL , SOMEBODY TELL ME , THEN . $
THE TELEPHONE 'S RUNG . $
WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR ? $
07 FOR IT TO RING AGAIN . $
02 POOR BISHOP CRUCIBLE IS DEAD . $
WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO KNOW ? $
07 WHAT 'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO HIS FORTUNE . $
02 HOW VERY UNLIKE YOU , SAM ... $
HOW VERY MERCENARY . $
07 I 'M HOLDING A WATCHING BRIEF FOR THE LORD'S INTERESTS IN
 THIS MATTER . $
02 THE LORD'S INTERESTS TAKE YOU VERY FUNNY , SAM . $
HOW COULD YOU THINK OF A THING LIKE THAT AT A TIME LIKE THIS
 ? $
07 THE REVEREND IS . $
02 NO . $
04 I 'M AFRAID I AM , DEAR , QUITE INTENTLY . $
O'DONOVAN UNDERTOOK TO SNEAK A LOOK AT THE WILL . $
07 BLESSED ARE THE MEEK FOR THEY SHALL INHERIT THE COBALT MI
NES . $
02 SAM , BEHAVE YOURSELF OR WE 'LL CUT YOU AND THE LORD OFF
WITHOUT A BEAN . $
03 BUT WILL YOU , REVEREND ? $
WILL YOU INHERIT THE COBALT MINES ? $
04 SHALL I INHERIT ANYTHING , GEORGE ? $
MY FATHER THOUGHT VERY BADLY OF ME , YOU KNOW . $
AS TO THE MINES , HAS MR NKRINKA NGRINGA'S GOVERNMENT TAKEN
THEM OVER OR NOT ? $
FINANCE . $
POLITICS . $
03 THE RIGHT REVEREND WAS QUITE WELL FOUND THOUGH , WASN'T H
E , MINES OR NO MINES ? $
04 THERE AGAIN , WAS HE ? $
MRS BONNINGTON , CHARMING LADY ONE MET FROM TIME TO TIME AT
BALLYSHEBEEN . $
SHE HAD A SUITE AT CLARIDGE'S AND , I GATHER , ENTERTAINED S
OMEWHAT LAVISHLY . $
02 ON HIS MONEY ? $
04 ONE DOESN'T ASK ONE'S FATHER , DARLING . $
03 BUT YOU CAN TELL . $
04 HOW ? $
03 WELL , I MEAN WAS HE ... I MEAN HIM AND HER , WERE THEY -
 $
04 GEORGE , HOW CAN ONE POSSIBLY KNOW THESE THINGS ABOUT ONE
'S FATHER ? $
03 I DO ABOUT MINE . $
04 AND THERE AGAIN , SOME QUESTION OF A LADY'S HONOUR APPARE
NTLY PROVOKED THE FATAL DUEL WITH THE VICE-ADMIRAL . $
IT DOES SUGGEST A CERTAIN EXPENDITURE ON - THAT KIND OF THIN
G . $
03 IT DIDN'T COST CUBBINS MUCH , DID IT , MUM ? $
A PACKET OF SHRIMPS . $
02 GEORGE , YOU KNOW I EVER EAT SHRIMPS . $
03 NO OFFENCE , MUM . $
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN . $
SHE MIGHT JUST HAVE BEEN A GOOD PAL , DONE IT FOR NOTHING .
$
04 THEN AGAIN , THE ENDLESS SHOOTING PARTIES . $
GUNSHOT AMMUNITION ALONE . $
I TREMBLE TO THINK OF THE DRAIN ON HIS FORTUNE . $
HE MAY HAVE INCURRED HIGH DEBTS . $
IF SO , WHAT IS THE LEGAL POSITION ? $
DO THEY DEVOLVE UPON MY SHOULDERS ? $
WHERE , FOR INSTANCE , DO I STAND IN RELATION TO MRS BONNING
TON ? $
WHAT A KNIFE EDGE , WHAT A KNIFE EDGE . $
02 SAM . $
07 SERIOUSLY , MARJORIE , THERE 'S NOTHING I CAN SAY . $
WE KNOW IN PART AND WE PROPHESY IN PART . $
OF THIS WE CAN BE QUITE SURE , THE LORD WILL NOT SUFFER HIS
TABERNACLE TO BE DESTROYED , BUT LUST AND GREED AND THE AVAR
ICE AND CUPIDITY OF CHRISTMAS SWINDLES , THAT WILL THE LORD
GOD NOT COUNTENANCE LIGHTLY . $
02 YOU CAN BE QUITE FRIGHTENING , SAM . $
04 BUT QUITE RIGHT . $
I HAVE GONE VERY MUCH ASTRAY . $
07 IT 'S BEGINNING TO LOOK LIKE A SINNER'S WAITING ROOM . $
' THE WICKED ARE LIKE THE TROUBLED SEA WHEN IT CANNOT REST ,
 WHOSE WATERS CAST UP MIRE AND DIRT . ' $
REPENT . $
REPENT , BOTH OF YOU . $
REPENT , ALL OF YOU . $
I SHALL ENTER INTO COLLOQUY WITH THE LORD . $
04 MY FATE , DEAR CUBBINS , IS IN THE BALANCE . $
01 AND MINE HAS BEEN DECIDED . $
02 SOMETHING BECAUSE OF US , WALTER ? $
A REVERSE ? $
01 SUCCESS , SUCCESS BEYOND MY WILDEST DREAMS . $
02 IT CAN TAKE YOU THAT WAY . $
04 VERY GLAD FOR YOU , MY DEAR CHAP . $
02 GO AND GET A BREATH OF FRESH AIR , LOVE . $
GO INTO THE TABERNACLE AND SAY YOUR MATINS . $
WE 'LL CALL YOU WHEN IT RINGS . $
04 DO FORGIVE ME . $
TERRIBLY SELF-CENTRED . $
ONE IS SO MUCH ON EDGE . $
I 'M VERY GLAD FOR YOU , VERY GLAD . $
03 HE 'S A BIT RATTLED . $
01 I SAW . $
03 HIS FATHER 'S BEEN BUMPED OFF . $
DOESN'T KNOW WHETHER HE 'S COME INTO THE COBALT MINES OR NOT
 . $
01 I SEE . $
03 I MEAN , IT 'D BE NICE IF HE COULD JUST BE GIVEN A BREATH
ER TO GET OVER THE SHOCK . $
I MEAN , ARE YOU GOING AHEAD WITH DEMOLISHING THE HOUSE ? $
AND HIS TIN TABERNACLE ? $
IT 'S SAD FOR HIM AND FOR POOR OLD SAM . $
01 I 'M SORRY , MARJORIE , BUT - $
02 I KNOW , WALTER . $
THAT COIN-OP CREMATORIUM PUT THE TIN HAT ON IT . $
01 NO , IT DIDN'T MARJORIE . $
THE TIN HAT IS PUT ON ANYTHING THE MOMENT THE TOWN CLERK MAK
ES A DECISION . $
THE REST IS AS IT HAPPENS . $
03 WHAT DID YOU PUT ME ON TRIAL FOR , THEN , YESTERDAY ? $
01 FORMALITY ... $
IT WASN'T YOU WHO WAS ON TRIAL YESTERDAY , GEORGE , BUT ME .
 $
I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS TESTED . $
THE DEMOLITION MACHINE WAS DEFECTIVE OR WE 'D HAVE HAD YOUR
ROOF OFF LAST NIGHT , AND THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE END OF IT
 . $
AS IT WAS , I WENT HOME . $
THE DOG BROUGHT MY SLIPPERS AND HILDA BROUGHT MY OVALTINE .
$
03 HEAR THAT , MUM ? $
VERY GOOD , VERY GOOD . $
01 BUT THEN IT HAPPENED , JUST LIKE THAT . $
THE OVALTINE , I COULDN'T TOUCH IT , STUCK IN MY THROAT , CO
ULDN'T TOUCH IT . $
I LOOKED AT THE DOG AND I THOUGHT ' I 'M GOING TO KICK THIS
DOG ' . $
THEN A SURGE OF CALM CAME OVER ME AND I THOUGHT , ' THIS DOG
 'S DONE NOTHING WRONG . $
I 'LL KICK HILDA . ' $
THAT 'S YOUR FAULT . $
03 ME ? $
#74 $
01 VIOLENCE . $
HITTING THE MAN IN THE TOFFEE WORKS , FIGHTING OVER THAT COF
FIN . $
02 BAD EXAMPLE TO YOUR FATHER . $
01 AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT , BEFORE I COULD GET HILDA PROPERLY
 TEED UP AND BOOTED THE MOOD PASSED , THE MADNESS PASSED . $
STEADY ON , TAKE CONTROL OF YOURSELF . $
BUT DREAMS , CAN YOU CONTROL DREAMS ? $
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO REMIND ME AFTER ALL THESE YEARS ? $
JENNY GREEN , MYRTLE MATTHEWS , BETTY BRIDGES , THE CENTRAL
PIER , FANNY FAWCETT'S LODGING HOUSE , THE KAMA SUTRA AND TH
E PERFUMED GARDEN ALL ROLLED INTO ONE GREAT BOUNCING SLAP AN
D TICKLE , FLOODS OF MEMORIES , DREAMS , THE BOILER THROBBIN
G , THE GAS-FIRED CENTRAL HEATING POUNDING AWAY THROUGH THE
NIGHT . $
SWEAT ? $
THE DYE RAN OUT OF MY PYJAMAS , THEY WERE BLEACHED WHITER TH
AN THE DRIVEN SNOW . $
I WENT TO BED DRESSED LIKE A TECHNICOLOR ADVERT FOR THE BRIT
ISH HOME STORES . $
I ROSE IN WHITE LIKE THE NABOB OF BANGALORE . $
AWAKENING . $
COMING ASHORE FROM THE WILD SEAS OF A DREAM . $
OBJECTS - ALARM CLOCK , BOTTLE OF SLEEPING PILLS , MY HAT ON
 ITS PEG AND SUDDENLY THERE , BANG , LIKE A CANTEEN DUMPLING
 , HILDA'S HEAD . $
SHE SLEEPS WITH HER HAIR IN ROLLERS . $
THAT , I THINK , IS CRUCIAL . $
PRETTY CRUCIAL . $
ANYWAY , I WALKED TO THE OFFICE , ACRES AND ACRES OF LEVEL G
ROUND WHERE WE 'VE RAZED THE SLUMS . $
NORMALLY I DON'T NOTICE OR IF I DO , WELL WITH A MILD FEELIN
G OF ACHIEVEMENT , SOMETHING TO SHOW FOR MY WORK . $
BUT THIS MORNING , STARTING OUT IN THE FRAME OF MIND I 'VE D
ESCRIBED , IT LOOKED - WELL , FRANKLY , DESOLATE - NOT SO MU
CH THE LEVEL GROUND BUT THOSE FOUR BLOCKS OF NEW HIGH-RISE F
LATS POKING UP OUT OF IT . $
' WHY , I THOUGHT , DO I LIVE HERE WITH HILDA ? ' $
' WHY , I THOUGHT ' - I ACTUALLY THOUGHT THIS . $
' WHY , I THOUGHT , DO I WORK FOR THE TOWN CLERK ? ' $
02 YOU 'VE BEEN BADLY SHAKEN BY IT ALL , WALTER . $
03 DREAMS CAN MAKE YOU FEEL FUNNY . $
01 THERE IS SUCH A THING AS PROVIDENCE , AS NO DOUBT OUR THE
OLOGICAL FRIENDS WOULD SAY . $
THERE IS INDEED . $
WHAT THOUGHTS PASSED THROUGH MY MIND AS I WAITED IN THE TOWN
 CLERK'S ANTE-ROOM I CAN'T SAY . $
DISSATISFACTION , DISSENT , INGRATITUDE , REBELLION EVEN . $
WHAT I MIGHT HAVE SAID I TREMBLE TO THINK . $
BUT FORTUNATELY , PROVIDENTIALLY , I HAD TO WAIT AND , AGAIN
 PROVIDENTIALLY , HIS SECRETARY LEFT HIS DOOR PART OPEN . $
THERE HE WAS AT HIS DESK , BIG ROOM , TALL WINDOWS , LITTLE
MAN WITH HIS WHITISH CURLY HAIR AND THE TAN HE GETS WORKING
IN HIS GARDEN . $
BUT IT WAS HIS MOVEMENTS , SWIFT BUT GENTLE , SURE MOVEMENT
, AND HIS ATTENTION , CONCENTRATED , PATIENT - OH , A GENERA
L QUIETNESS . $
A MAN WHO IS VERY SURE OF WHAT HE 'S DOING . $
PEACE CAME TO ME IN THAT ANTE-ROOM , PEACE . $
THE TOWN CLERK HAS A VERY CIVILISED WAY WHEN HE LOOKS UP AT
YOU OF TAKING HIS SPECTACLES OFF . $
' ANY DIFFICULTIES , CUBBINS ? ' HE SAID . $
NOT CHIT-CHAT , HE WAS TESTING ME . $
' NONE , MR TOWN CLERK , ' I SAID . $
HE LOOKED AT ME . $
YOU SEE , MARJORIE , WHEN I GOT THIS ASSIGNMENT YESTERDAY I
'D NO IDEA YOU LIVED HERE . $
I SIMPLY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT GEORGE . $
I WAS TOTALLY UNPREPARED . $
02 YOU MEAN THE TOWN CLERK KNEW ? $
01 IN SOME NOTIONAL WAY . $
NOT TITTLE-TATTLE , NOT MORALISING . $
BUT KNOWLEDGE , KNOWLEDGE ... $
WE UNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER . $
I 'VE BEEN TESTED AND I PASSED . $
' I SHOULD LIKE YOU TO TAKE OVER HOUSING IN ADDITION TO YOUR
 PRESENT RESPONSIBILITIES , CUBBINS , ' HE SAID . $
02 OH , WALTER . $
01 NOTHING MORE . $
THAT CURIOUS AWKWARD THING THERE ALWAYS IS WITH HIM OF NOT K
NOWING WHETHER AN INTERVIEW IS OVER , THEN BACK IN THE ANTE-
ROOM - THE TOP OF THE TREE , AND NOT FIVE MINUTES BEFORE I '
D BEEN READY , I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WAS READY TO DO , SO DISO
RIENTATED , YOU MIGHT SAY , THAT I WAS READY TO THROW AWAY A
 LIFETIME'S WORK IN A GUST OF EMOTION . $
02 OH , WALTER , IT 'S AWFUL TO THINK OF . $
THE SHAVES WE HAVE IN THIS LIFE . $
WHAT 'S YOUR NEW TITLE ? $
01 I DIDN'T ASK . $
AN UPGRADING , OF COURSE . $
150 POUNDS A YEAR AND QUITE POSSIBLY INTO THE D3 PENSION CAT
EGORY . $
02 WHAT A LOVELY CATEGORY FOR YOU , WALTER . $
IS THAT WALKIE-TALKIE A BADGE OF RANK ? $
01 NO , JUST TO KEEP ME IN TOUCH WITH THE MACHINE . $
NORMAL EQUIPMENT . $
02 WHAT WILL YOU DO , THEN , LOVE , EXTRA TO YOUR OLD JOB ?
$
01 WELL , I WAS IN CHARGE OF DEHOUSING . $
NOW I 'VE TAKEN OVER HOUSING AS WELL . $
02 HOUSING AS WELL ! $
03 PUTTING UP THOUSANDS OF HOUSES ON ALL THAT FLATTENED GROU
ND . $
01 OH NO , THERE 'S BEEN TOO MUCH OF THAT SORT OF THING ALRE
ADY , GEORGE ; I WASN'T ENTIRELY WRONG IN THAT - UNEASINESS
- I FELT ABOUT THE TOWN THIS MORNING . $
THOSE HIGH-RISE FLATS , THEY 'RE A BLOT ON THE LANDSCAPE . $
03 AND NOWHERE FOR THE LITTLE KIDDIES TO PLAY . $
01 A BLOT . $
HOW CAN WE BE FLEXIBLE , HOW CAN WE PLAN TO MEET THE UNFORSE
EABLE NEEDS OF FUTURE REQUIREMENTS IF A HOUSING DEPARTMENT I
S WORKING AGAINST US , BUILDING NEW HOMES FOR PEOPLE AT THE
VERY MOMENT THAT WE 'RE TOILING SIXTEEN HOURS A DAY TO DEHOU
SE THEM ? $
02 BUT WHAT 'S YOUR NEW RESPONSIBILITIES NOW YOU 'VE TAKEN O
VER THE HOUSING DEPARTMENT ? $
01 TO CO-ORDINATE POLICY , TO PREVENT NEW OBSTACLES FROM BEI
NG CREATED IN THE PATH OF PROGRESS . $
IN A WORD , I 'M ENTRUSTED WITH THE HOUSING DEPARTMENT IN OR
DER TO PHASE IT OUT . $
02 I DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND . $
DO YOU , GEORGE ? $
03 NO , BUT HE 'S BEEN PROMOTED , HASN'T HE , FOR ALL HIS HA
RD WORK ? $
02 THE EXTRA MONEY WILL BE USEFUL TO YOU , WALTER . $
01 THERE ARE THINGS WE 'VE FANCIED . $
02 TAKE HER ON HOLIDAY . $
01 HILDA ? $
03 IT 'S MORE HUMANE THAN KICKING HER . $
02 YOU NEED A HOLIDAY , WALTER , WHEN YOU SERIOUSLY CONTEMPL
ATE KICKING YOUR WIFE . $
01 I KNOW . $
WORK , WORK , WORK . $
I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO TAKE MY HOLIDAYS FOR FIVE YEARS . $
03 YOU 'VE GOT TO HAVE A BREATHER . $
02 YOU CAN'T GO ON LIKE THAT . $
01 'COURSE I CAN'T . $
IT 'S NOT EVEN EFFICIENT . $
LAST NIGHT , THIS MORNING I WAS SO OVERWROUGHT - IT 'S ALL N
ERVES , IT 'S ALL A STATE OF MIND . $
02 TAKE YOUR TIME OFF AND YOU USE YOUR EXTRA MONEY TO MAKE T
HINGS A BIT EASIER FOR YOURSELF . $
01 I FANCY A MINIATURE ROTARY LAWN MOWER . $
03 THEY 'RE VERY GOOD , LITTLE BLADES GOING ROUND . $
01 HILDA , SHE 'D LIKE A TOOTHBRUSH . $
02 BUY HER ONE . $
01 WE NEED A NEW SUGAR SPOON , I COULD DO WITH A FRESH PAIR
 OF TROUSERS AND WHY SHOULDN'T OUR DOG HAVE A RUBBER BONE ?
$
02 YOU 'VE WORKED FOR IT , LOVE . $
YOU ENJOY THE REWARDS . $
BUY YOUR RUBBER BONE . $
LIVE IT UP A BIT . $
01 I SHALL LASH OUT . $
I SHALL PURCHASE ONE . $
03 PURCHASE TWO . $
01 I SHALL , GEORGE . $
AND SOME SHAPED BISCUITS TO PUT THE CALCIUM BACK IN HIS TEET
H . $
OH , I HAVEN'T FELT LIKE THIS FOR YEARS . $
OPTIMISM , PURPOSEFULNESS - IT 'S A PITY WE 'VE MISSED ALL T
HESE YEARS TOGETHER . $
MY FAULT , GROSS ERROR . $
02 NOT AT ALL , WALTER . $
03 JUST KEPT LATE AT THE OFFICE . $
01 YOU 'RE VERY GENEROUS , BOTH OF YOU . $
03 TIN TAB . $
YES , YES , HE 'S HERE NOW . $
04 YES . $
YES . $
I SEE ... $
REALLY ... $
THANK YOU , O'DONOVAN . $
MOST KIND , REALLY MOST KIND . $
MY FATHER'S FORTUNE WAS AFTER ALL REALLY QUITE LARGE . $
HALF A MILLION POUNDS . $
HE 'S LEFT IT ALL TO ME . $
02 THEY DIDN'T , WALTER . $
THEY FELL THROUGH THE BED BUT THEY DIDN'T COME THROUGH THE D
INING ROOM CEILING . $
#75 $
01 THEY DID . $
HE WAS TWENTY STONE , FANNY FAWCETT'S BOYFRIEND , INSURANCE
AGENT . $
FLOORS ROTTEN WITH WOODWORM . $
THEY WENT THROUGH THE BED AND CRASHED THREE STOREYS DOWN INT
O THE DINING ROOM . $
THAT POLISH AIRGUNNER WAS PLAYING THE PIANO . $
02 FLY OFF TO CRACOW , FLY OFF TO CRACOW . $
WHO 'S GOING TO FLY OFF TO CRACOW WITH ME ? $
03 GOOD OLD HARRY , HE 'S FIXED IT . $
HE 'S ONLY TO MEND HIS RUDDER NOW . $
10 AND HE SANG AS HE SWUNG HIS REAR GUNNER'S TURRET ROUND ,
WHO 'S GOING TO FLY OFF TO CRACOW WITH ME ? $
04 CRACOW . $
10 CRACOW . $
07 IS THIS A SEEMLY WAY TO BEHAVE IN THE PRECINCTS OF THE HO
USE OF THE LORD ? $
04 DEAR SAM , A CELEBRATION . $
DO HAVE A DRINK . $
07 THE LORD AND I HAVE BEEN IN COLLOQUY . $
01 VERY RIGHT , VERY PROPER . $
07 WE COULD HARDLY HEAR OURSELVES SPEAK . $
MUST THE LORD USE A VOICE OF THUNDER TO MAKE HIMSELF HEARD A
BOVE THE DEBAUCHERIES OF DRUNKEN REVELLERS ? $
IS THE RUST TO BE SHAKEN FROM HIS TABERNACLE BY THE ROARING
OF A RAMSHACKLE FLYING MACHINE ? $
11 HELLO , MR CUBBINS . $
HELLO , MR CUBBINS . $
ARE YOU RECEIVING ME ? $
01 LOUD AND CLEAR , FRED . $
MESSAGE RECEIVED AND UNDERSTOOD . $
11 I HAVEN'T PASSED A MESSAGE , MR CUBBINS . $
02 THAT 'S QUITE TRUE , HE HASN'T PASSED A MESSAGE . $
01 HELLO , FRED . $
MESSAGE NOT RECEIVED AND MISUNDERSTOOD . $
11 IS THAT YOU , MR CUBBINS ? $
WHO 'S SPEAKING ? $
01 CUBBINS , FRED , CUBBINS . $
11 IT DIDN'T SOUND LIKE CUBBINS , MR CUBBINS . $
01 YOU CAN CONFIRM THAT IT IS CUBBINS ? $
11 IS THAT YOU , MR CUBBINS ? $
01 HE CAN'T HEAR YOU NOD . $
HE 'S SHORT-SIGHTED . $
YES , CUBBINS , FRED . $
I WILL SAY AGAIN . $
YOURS TRULY AND CHEERFULLY , CUBBINS . $
11 I 'M DRIVING THE MACHINE UP NOW , MR CUBBINS . $
01 GOOD LAD . $
OVER AND OUT . $
THAT , FRIENDS AND RELATIONS , WAS FRED . $
NOW , WHY DON'T WE PACK A LUNCHEON BASKET AND GO AND SIT OUT
 ON THE PLAYING FIELDS BY THAT AEROPLANE AND WATCH OUR FRIEN
D FRED PUT PAID TO YOUR HAPPY HOME ? $
07 YOU 'LL WAIT IN VAIN , BROTHER . $
01 FRED IS APPROACHING . $
07 THE LORD GOD OF HOSTS IS PRESENT . $
01 FRED WILL BULLDOZE YOUR TABERNACLE . $
07 THE LORD GOD OF HOSTS WILL SMITE FRED . $
01 THE DEMOLITION MACHINE STANDS TWICE THE HEIGHT OF THE TAB
ERNACLE . $
07 AND THE TOWER OF BABEL STOOD ONE HUNDRED TIMES THE HEIGHT
 . $
THE LORD GOD OF HOSTS NEEDS NO MACHINE , BROTHER . $
FLOOD , FIRE , FAMINE AND PESTILENCE , THESE ARE THE MERE PI
STOL SHOTS IN HIS ARMOURY . $
A SINGLE BOLT AND FRED WILL BE NO MORE , A SHAFT AND HIS PRO
UD MACHINE SHALL BE MANGLED LIKE AN OLD BEDSTEAD . $
04 INDEED , INDEED . $
BUT , DEAR SAM , DO LET US AVOID THIS KIND OF THING . $
NO BOLTS AND SHAFTS TODAY , PLEASE . $
THE GOOD CUBBINS MUST DO HIS DUTY . $
BUT I SHALL KEEP MY PROMISE TO YOU . $
THE TABERNACLE IS LOST BUT IN ITS PLACE I SHALL HAVE BUILT F
OR YOU A MEETING HOUSE OF FERROCONCRETE WITH A CANTILEVER PU
LPIT IN THE MODERN MANNER , AN EDIFICE MORE WORTHY OF THE LO
RD'S PATRONAGE AND A KINDLIER PLACE OF TOIL FOR YOU , HIS SP
LENDID SERVANT . $
07 THIS IS THE ACRE OF HIS VINEYARD THE LORD HAS GIVEN ME TO
 TILL . $
' HE SHALL NOT SUFFER THY FOOT TO BE MOVED . ' *
WHEN THE TIME COMES TO SPIT OUT MY GUMSHIELD THE GREAT REFER
EE HIMSELF WILL RING THE BELL . $
MEANWHILE , I STAY HERE . $
02 YOU DESERVE A NEW TABERNACLE , SAM . $
03 SO YOU CAN CONCENTRATE ON SALVATION WITHOUT HAVING TO MUC
K OUT THE HENS . $
07 THE TABERNACLE WILL REMAIN BUT THE WICKED SHALL NOT PROSP
ER . $
MEANING YOU LOT . $
02 CAN'T YOU PERSUADE HIM TO COME WITH US ? $
04 I TRIED , DEAR , BUT YOU HEARD HIM . $
02 SIX MONTHS AT MONTEGO BAY WOULD BE LOVELY FOR HIM . $
03 THERE 'D BE ENOUGH SIN THERE FOR HIM TO HAVE A GOAT . $
WHAT 'S THAT BROCHURE SAY ? - DAYS IN THE SUNSHINE , BEACH B
ARBECUES IN THE EVENINGS , FORNICATION IN THE PURPLE SHADOWS
 . $
01 TO THE PURPLE SHADOWS . $
IT 'S PROGRESS , ISN'T IT ? $
IT IS PROGRESS . $
FOR US IT WAS BLACKPOOL PIER . $
AND NOW HERE 'S OUR SON FORNICATING AT MONTEGO BAY . $
WE HAVEN'T WORKED FOR NOTHING , WE HAVE MADE THE WORLD A BET
TER PLACE . $
02 WHAT IS IT , WALTER ? $
01 I WAS THINKING . $
02 WHAT ABOUT ? $
01 HILDA . $
02 YOU 'VE BEEN COOPED UP HERE TOO LONG , BOTH OF YOU . $
WHY DON'T YOU COME TO MONTEGO BAY ? $
BRING HER . $
04 INDEED , INDEED . $
DO COME . $
DO BRING YOUR GOOD LADY WIFE . $
01 BUT MY INCREMENT WOULD HARDLY - $
04 MY DEAR CUBBINS , FORGET IT . $
IT WOULD BE AN OFFENCE TO THE POOR CHAPS SWEATING AWAY DOWN
THE COBALT MINES IF ONE COULDN'T SHOW A LITTLE LARGESSE WITH
 THE FRUITS OF THEIR TOIL . $
01 I 'D LIKE TO GET AWAY . $
03 COME ON THEN , WHAT 'S STOPPING YOU - FATHER ? $
02 HE 'S RIGHT , WALTER , IT 'S A FATHER'S DUTY TO SPEND SOM
E TIME WITH HIS SON . $
01 PURPLE SHADOWS . $
03 CORAL SEAS . $
04 ROLLING SURF . $
01 MOSQUITOES IN THE NIGHT . $
02 DAWN IN A STRANGE APARTMENT . $
11 HELLO , MR CUBBINS . $
HELLO , MR CUBBINS . $
I 'M AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL . $
I 'M LINING UP FOR MY FIRST DEMOLITION RUN . $
01 RECEIVED AND UNDERSTOOD , FRED . $
STAND BY . $
YES , I 'LL COME . $
SHOULD WE GET THIS OVER WITH NOW ? $
02 GO AND GET SAM OUT , ST JOHN . $
02 JUST GIVE HIM A MINUTE . $
01 YOU KNOW , I DON'T THINK I 'LL COME BACK HERE . $
I DON'T LIKE THIS PLACE . $
WHY HAS IT TAKEN ME SO LONG TO REALISE IT ? $
I DON'T LIKE - $
02 DON'T LIKE WHAT , WALTER ? $
01 I DON'T LIKE THE TOWN CLERK . $
02 IT 'LL BE THE HOTEL . $
03 TIN TAB ... $
WHAT 'S THAT ? $
YES , CERTAINLY ... $
YES , 'COURSE I CAN WRITE . $
02 GEORGE , BOOK AN EXTRA ROOM . $
MR AND MRS CUBBINS . $
03 YES ... $
YES ... $
NOT SO FAST ... $
RIGHT $
BETTER CALL THE REVEREND . $
02 ST JOHN , ST JOHN . $
03 MESSAGE FOR YOU . $
04 AH , THE HOTEL , MONTEGO BAY . $
03 NO , THE PARENTAL HOME , BALLYSHEBEEN . $
04 A CODICIL TO THE WILL ? $
#76 $
03 THAT 'S RIGHT . $
02 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN , ST JOHN ? $
04 ANYTHING , ANYTHING . $
03 MR O'DONOVAN WAS LOOKING AT AN OLD WILL . $
THE SOLICITOR - $
04 YES , YES . $
03 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PUT IT REALLY . $
04 I 'M PREPARED , GEORGE . $
03 YOUR FATHER CHANGED HIS WILL , REVEREND . $
HE 'S LEFT THE VICE-ADMIRAL A BOB OR TWO TO BUY HIMSELF AN I
NDOOR SHOOTING GALLERY FOR RAINY DAYS . $
04 AND THE RESIDUE ? $
AM I NOT TO BENEFIT ? $
AM I CUT OUT ? $
03 OH , BY NO MEANS . $
04 TO MY SON ST JOHN , WHO HAS CAUSED ME MUCH DISTRESS AND W
HO HAS CONSTANTLY IMPORTUNED ME OF LATE FOR MONEY , I BEQUEA
TH A SUM OF MONEY , TO WIT SEVEN SHILLINGS AND SIX PENCE , I
N THE HOPE THAT HE WILL BUY HIMSELF AN OUNCE OF TWIST AND ,
WHILST SMOKING , TAKE THOUGHT ON SOME THINGS . ' $
01 HE 'LL KNOW . $
03 WHO ? $
01 THE TOWN CLERK . $
03 WHAT ? $
01 WHAT I SHOUTED JUST NOW . $
I SAID - I SAID I DIDN'T LIKE HIM . $
02 HOW WILL HE KNOW ? $
11 MR CUBBINS . $
01 STAND BY , FRED . $
JUST STAND BY . $
04 AH WELL , WE MUST LOOK ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE . $
02 OH , FOR GOD'S SAKE , LOVE . $
YOU 'VE BEEN DISINHERITED , YOUR LAST REMAINING ASSET IS ABO
UT TO DISAPPEAR UNDER WALTER'S MACHINE . $
YOU OWE 700 POUNDS TO THE CHRISTMAS RAFFLE AND IF YOU CAN'T
FIND IT YOU 'LL GO TO PRISON . $
DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ? $
04 OF COURSE I DO , DARLING . $
THAT 'S WHAT I MEANT , THE BRIGHTER SIDE . $
03 THE POKEY ? $
04 ONE GETS SO BEHIND WITH ONE'S READING . $
THE WORLD IS TOO MUCH WITH US , IS IT NOT , MR CUBBINS ? $
AND INDEED TOO MUCH FOR US . $
I 'M RATHER LOOKING FORWARD TO THE POKEY . $
QUITE A LOT HAS BEEN PUBLISHED RECENTLY , DARLING , THAT I '
VE NEVER FOUND TIME ... $
ONE IS , OF COURSE , PERMITTED BOOKS IN THE POKEY ? $
WOULDN'T YOU THINK , MR CUBBINS ? $
PERHAPS NOT . $
PERHAPS THEY WILL LET THE PRISON PADRE LOOSE ON ME . $
OH , MY WORD , THAT WOULD BE QUITE FRIGHTFUL . $
03 POOR SAM . $
04 SAM ? $
03 YOU CAN'T BUILD HIM A NEW TABERNACLE NOW . $
04 ALAS . $
02 WHEN THEY DESTROY THIS IT 'LL SHATTER HIS FAITH . $
04 FAITH IS THE LEAST THING WE 'VE LOST TODAY . $
02 WALTER , I DON'T MIND FOR US , BUT CAN'T YOU SPARE HIS TA
BERNACLE ? $
03 GO ON , LET HIM OFF . $
IT 'S A HARMLESS HOBBY . $
04 PERHAPS WE COULD APPEAL TO THE TOWN CLERK'S BETTER NATURE
 . $
IF HE UNDERSTOOD THAT SAM - $
VERY WELL , THEN , WE MUST GO ABOVE HIS HEAD . $
THE VICE-ADMIRAL , HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN A GOOD FRIEND OF THE F
AMILY - $
02 LOVE , HE 'S JUST ROLLED YOUR DAD . $
04 BUT THAT APART . $
HE MIGHT QUITE WELL HAVE A WORD ON OUR BEHALF WITH THE ADMIR
ALTY . $
03 AND HARRY AIRBORNE COULD SPEAK TO THE AIR FORCE . $
04 INDEED . $
AND VISCOUNT MONTGOMERY , I 'M SURE , WOULD BE WELL DISPOSED
 TOWARDS US . $
THE ESTABLISHMENT IS NOT TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY . $
LORDS TEMPORAL - AND INDEED LORDS SPIRITUAL , MY WORD . $
MICHAEL CANTUAR , DONALD EBOR , BASIL BASINGSTOKE , CHARLIE
CHESTER , FRED FLEETWOOD - NOW THERE 'S A PUGNACIOUS PRELATE
 FOR YOU , A MAN WHO DOESN'T MINCE WORDS . $
NEPHEW , DARLING , OF POOR PERCY PSALTER WHO WAS EATEN IN MB
UTULAND , PRACTITIONER OF JUDO . $
WE COULD CERTAINLY RELY ON THE BISHOP OF FLEETWOOD AND CLEVE
LEYS TO TAKE A VERY FORTHRIGHT LINE WITH THE TOWN CLERK . $
02 YOU LIVE IN A DREAM , LOVE . $
04 NOT IN THE LEAST , THERE ARE INFLUENCES WHICH COULD BE BR
OUGHT TO BEAR . $
02 AND YOU THINK IT WOULD WORK ? $
04 NO . $
MY DEAR CUBBINS , WE MUSTN'T BE OPPRESSED . $
01 WE ARE OPPRESSED . $
I 'M SUNK . $
YOU 'RE SUNK . $
I HELPED TO SINK YOU . $
04 NOT AT ALL . $
I DIVINED , VAGUELY PERHAPS BUT AT AN EARLY AGE , THAT MY PA
TH WOULD LEAD WHERE IT HAS - THROUGH THE PULPIT TO THE POKEY
 . $
THERE IS A DIVINITY THAT SHAPES OUR ENDS , ROUGH-HEW THEM HO
W WE WILL . $
01 THAT 'S RIGHT . $
THAT IS RIGHT . $
THAT 'S WHY I 'M SUNK . $
02 HOW DO YOU MEAN ? $
01 BECAUSE I 'M WALTER CUBBINS . $
I SAID I WAS ON TRIAL , NOT GEORGE , WHEN I CAME HERE . $
THAT WAS RIGHT TO A DEGREE . $
I DISCOVER MY LONG LOST SON , MY ONLY SON - $
02 BESIDES SAM GREEN , PET . $
01 THE WOMAN I LOVED . $
02 AMONG OTHERS , LOVE . $
01 BUT ABOVE ALL I DISCOVER , I REDISCOVER WALTER CUBBINS -
WALTER CUBBINS , FLOGGER OF SOAP COUPONS , BARRACK-ROOM LAWY
ER , DEFIER OF AUTHORITY . $
OF COURSE , HE KNEW . $
02 WHO ? $
01 THE TOWN CLERK . $
OH , NOT , I SUPPOSE IN DETAIL . $
HE MIGHTN'T KNOW THAT MY OVALTINE STUCK IN MY GULLET , THAT
I WAS POISED TO KICK MY DOG AND OR MY WIFE , THAT I ACTUALLY
 CONTEMPLATED A WILD SPREE TO MONTEGO BAY . $
HE NEEDN'T KNOW THAT . $
HE NEEDN'T KNOW I SAID I LOATHED HIM . $
REVOLT . $
IT 'S NOT SOMETHING YOU DO . $
IT 'S HERE . $
I 'VE SEEN THE DEHOUSED - STILL WITH THAT FLICKER OF DEFIANC
E , STILL SURLY - CRAWLING OFF TO BIDONVILLE , CARRYING THEI
R MATRESSES , SHOVING PRAM-LOADS OF BELONGINGS . $
REVOLT , REVOLT . $
IT 'S IN THE HEART AND IT COMES TO ITS INEVITABLE END . $
02 WHAT 'LL HAPPEN TO YOU ? $
01 I CAN GO BACK TO THE TOWN CLERK . $
I CAN APOLOGISE FOR BEING WALTER CUBBINS . $
I 'LL DO THAT . $
BUT I 'M FINISHED . $
WE 'RE FINISHED . $
WE 'RE ALL FINISHED . $
ALL RIGHT , LET 'S GET IT OVER WITH . $
LET 'S GET THE DAMNED PLACE KNOCKED DOWN . $
SORRY . $
WE MIGHT AS WELL GET IT OVER WITH . $
IF YOU 'D BE GOOD ENOUGH , PLEASE . $
GET YOUR CHATTELS TOGETHER AND MAKE YOUR WAY TO BIDONVILLE .
 $
03 WE DON'T HAVE TO GO TO BIDONVILLE , DO WE ? $
01 EVERYBODY GOES TO BIDONVILLE . $
03 IS THERE A LAW THAT SAYS SO ? $
01 THE TOWN CLERK SAYS SO . $
03 BUT WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO WHAT THE TOWN CLERK SAYS ? $
02 GEORGE , YOUR FATHER 'S IN ENOUGH TROUBLE . $
DON'T FRIGHTEN HIM . $
03 SORRY ... $
IT 'S BAFFLING , THOUGH , ISN'T IT ? $
02 HOW ? $
03 WELL , THINGS SHIFT , DON'T THEY ? $
I MEAN , YOU NEVER REALLY KNOW ANYTHING FOR SURE . $
FACTS . $
02 WHAT FACTS , LOVE ? $
03 WELL , FACTS . $
02 GO ON . $
03 WELL , FOR TWENTY YEARS I 'VE HAD NO FATHER . $
THAT 'S A FACT . $
THEN SUDDENLY BANG AND YOU 'VE FIXED ME UP WITH CUBBINS HERE
 . $
02 THAT 'S NOT VERY POLITE . $
03 I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY . $
HE 'S ALL RIGHT . $
BUT I CAN'T KNOW , CAN I ? $
02 WHY SHOULD I - $
#77 $
03 FAIR ENOUGH , MUM . $
I TAKE YOUR WORD NATURALLY . $
THE POINT IS WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING REALLY . $
WE TAKE EVERYBODY'S WORD FOR SOMETHING . $
02 HOW DO YOU MEAN , GEORGE ? $
03 I DON'T KNOW ... $
WELL , FOR INSTANCE , HE SAYS HE 'S A DEHOUSING OFFICER . $
02 HIS MACHINE 'S OUTSIDE LOVE . $
03 HE SAYS HE HAS A WIFE CALLED HILDA AND A DOG AND HE USES
THEM AS FOOTBALLS FROM TIME TO TIME . $
02 HE HAS A WIFE CALLED HILDA AND A DOG , HAVEN'T YOU WALTER
 ?  $
03 YES , I CAN IMAGINE THAT . $
WHAT 'S HILDA LIKE , THOUGH ? $
WHAT KIND OF DOG IS IT ? $
01 SMALL , BLONDE ... COCKER SPANIEL . $
03 YES ... $
WHAT 'S IT CALLED ? $
01 TOWSER . $
03 TOWSER . $
YES , THAT 'S QUITE BELIEVABLE . $
02 WHY SHOULD HE SAY HIS DOG 'S CALLED TOWSER IF IT ISN'T ?
$
04 I DO SEE GEORGE'S POINT , DARLING . $
WHAT IS OFFERED US AS TRUTH IN THIS VALE OF TEARS IS A POOR
AND DUBIOUS THING . $
WE HAVE NO REAL KNOWLEDGE , ONLY FAITH . $
INDEED FAITH IS THE DOWN PAYMENT WE MAKE ON KNOWLEDGE . $
FAITH IN PROVIDENCE , WHICH IN OUR CASE HAS BEEN SO DISASTRO
USLY MISPLACED , FAITH IN THE WORDS OF OUR FALLIBLE FELLOW C
REATURES . $
NO OFFENCE . $
02 WHAT 'S THIS GOT TO DO WITH THE PICKLE WE 'RE IN ? $
04 AH , INDEED , THAT . $
YES . $
BUT THIS IS AN INTERESTING AND INDEED CHASTENING THEME , DAR
LING . $
WE REALLY KNOW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WHATEVER . $
FACTS - RUBBISH , NONSENSE , WE KNOW NO FACTS . $
FACTS ARE MADE AND UNMADE IN A MOMENT . $
03 YES , THEY ARE . $
02 LOOK , LOVE , HE 'S BEEN TO COLLEGE . $
HE 'S GETTING YOU OUT OF YOUR DEPTH . $
PEOPLE DON'T LIE DELIBERATELY . $
03 I 'M NOT SAYING THEY DO ; IT 'S YOU KNOW , FACTS SHIFTING
 , I MEAN , THE REVEREND HERE . $
OUR GOOD OLD REVEREND ALL THESE YEARS , THEN HE POPS THE TEL
EPHONE DOWN AND WE 'RE SUDDENLY ASKED TO BELIEVE SOMETHING E
LSE AS WELL - HE 'S A BEREAVED SON . $
02 THE VICE-ADMIRAL HAS POTTED HIS FATHER , GEORGE . $
03 ALL RIGHT , WE ACCEPT THAT . $
THEN THE PHONE RINGS AGAIN . $
WHAT IS HE NOW ? $
MULTI-MILLIONAIRE , THE LAST PROTESTANT LANDLORD IN THE REPU
BLIC OF IRELAND , THE ROTHSCHILD OF MBUTULAND . $
WE ACCEPT THAT . $
02 IT WAS JUST - $
03 IT WAS JUST EXAGGERATED . $
ALL HE INHERITED WAS A PACKET OF FAGS . $
04 TOBACCO ACTUALLY , GEORGE . $
02 WE CAN'T KNOW ALL THE INS AND OUTS , LOVE . $
WE 'VE GOT TO TAKE WHAT PEOPLE SAY ON TRUST . $
03 THAT 'S IT , MUM . $
THAT 'S MY ORIGINAL POINT . $
IF SOMEBODY COMES AND SAYS WE 'VE GOT TO BE DEHOUSED WE TAKE
 IT THAT WE MUST BE . $
IF THEY SAY WE HAVE TO GO TO BIDONVILLE WE TAKE IT THAT WE H
AVE TO . $
BUT IT 'S ONLY WHAT SOMEBODY SAYS , ISN'T IT ? $
01 GEORGE , I 'M EXPOSED AND YOU 'RE DEFEATED . $
THERE ARE RULES - $
03 I KNOW THERE ARE RULES . $
THE TOWN CLERK MAKES THEM UP . $
BUT THEY ONLY REALLY EXIST BECAUSE PEOPLE BELIEVE THEM . $
01 BIDONVILLE EXISTS , GEORGE , AS YOU 'LL SOON FIND OUT . $
03 I KNOW , BUT YOU SAID YESTERDAY BIDONVILLE IS A STATE OF
MIND . $
01 WELL , YES . $
03 AND MONTEGO BAY , US ALL THERE ON HOLIDAY , THAT 'S A STA
TE OF MIND ? $
01 YES . $
03 WELL , WHAT ISN'T , THEN ? $
THE TOWN CLERK'S AUTHORITY IS A STATE OF MIND . $
01 NO . $
NO . $
04 GEORGE , DEAR BOY , DON'T ALARM THE POOR MAN . $
WHAT YOU SAY , THOUGH MUDDLED , IS BY NO MEANS TO BE LAUGHED
 OFF . $
IT WOULD BE RATHER NICE , DARLING , TO HAVE LITTLE DISCUSSIO
NS OF THIS SORT , THOUGHTFUL SOIREES , WHEN WE 'VE KNOCKED U
P OUR LITTLE HUT . $
03 WE DON'T HAVE TO GO . $
YOU DON'T HAVE TO CARRY OUT HIS ORDERS . $
01 NOBODY CAN OPPOSE THE TOWN CLERK . $
02 GEORGE , HE 'S IN TERRIBLE TROUBLE . $
DON'T - $
03 I KNOW . $
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL . $
DO YOU REMEMBER , MUM , WHEN I USED TO WORK AT PEPPERDINE'S
TOFFEE WORKS ? $
02 MADE HIM ILL . $
NEVER HAD ANY BREAKFAST . $
03 IT HAUNTED ME . $
I 'D BE DOING THINGS - THE HENS , SAY , OR BOXING WITH SAM S
KUNK , OR WATCHING A FOOTBALL MATCH - BUT I 'D STILL START T
HINKING ABOUT MR PEPPERDINE . $
SCARED STIFF , I DON'T KNOW WHY . $
01 THAT 'S IT , THAT 'S IT . $
03 YOU FEEL IT IN YOUR STOMACH , DON'T YOU ? $
I 'D DONE ALL THIS FIGHTING WITH SAM , BUT IT NEVER OCCURRED
 TO ME TILL THIS DAY THAT PEPPERDINE WAS ON AT ME AND I DON'
T THINK IT OCCURRED AS A THOUGHT THEN . $
I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT , JUST LASHED OUT , BANG , A LEFT AN
D A RIGHT AND DOWN HE WENT LIKE A SACK . $
AND THAT WAS IT - ALL OVER , NOTHING MORE TO WORRY ABOUT , J
UST SO SIMPLE . $
WHAT I 'VE BEEN WONDERING - IT 'S A GOOD JOB I REMEMBERED TH
IS , MUM - WOULDN'T IT BE A GOOD SOLUTION FOR YOU ? $
01 WHAT ? $
03 WELL , JUST GO BACK AND LAY THE TOWN CLERK OUT . $
01 PLEASE , PLEASE . $
02 YOUR FATHER PERHAPS ISN'T SO HANDY WITH HIS FISTS , GEORG
E . $
03 YES . $
THERE MUST BE SOMETHING YOU CAN DO , THOUGH . $
01 IF I COULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING , GEORGE , I WOULD HAVE DON
E IT LONG AGO . $
THERE 'S NOTHING ANYBODY CAN DO TO OPPOSE THE TOWN CLERK . $
11 STANDING BY OUTSIDE , MR CUBBINS . $
03 WHY COULDN'T WE DEHOUSE HIM ? $
07 MIGHTY REDEEMER , BATTLING BRUISER , THOU WHO SMOTE THE M
OABITES AND THE JEBUSITES , WHO STRETCHED BEELZEBUB ON THE C
ANVAS AND THUMPED MOLOCH THROUGH THE ROPES , WE THANK THEE T
HAT TODAY THOU HAST FLOORED THY LATTER-DAY ENEMY , THE TOWN
CLERK OF BOG END , THAT THOU HAST SMITTEN HIS TENTS , SHATTE
RED HIS DEN , PULVERISED HIS PROUD PALACE , DEMOLISHED , DEM
ORALISED , DEFEATED AND DEHOUSED HIM . $
04 SAM , THIS IS WRONG , ABSOLUTELY WRONG . $
07 NO MAN SHALL STAY THE HAND OF THE LORD WHEN HE VISITETH J
UDGMENT UPON THE WICKED . $
04 BUT THE TOWN CLERK - $
07 HOW ELSE SHOULD HE BE BROUGHT TO PENITENCE ? $
04 BUT THE INNOCENT OF HIS HOUSEHOLD - $
01 TWO CAGED BIRDS AND HIS OLD MOTHER - AN EVIL OLD CRONE .
$
GOADED HIM ON THROUGH HIS STUDIES . $
07 JEHOVAH IS NOT TO BE MOCKED . $
04 I 'M RATHER TIRED , SAM , OF YOUR JEHOVAH . $
BOLTS AND SHAFTS AND HORRIBLE TEMPESTS . $
RIGHT ENOUGH , I SUPPOSE , FOR THOSE DESERT CHAPS , BUT IT '
S NOT THE WAY WE THOUGHT ABOUT GOD AT WELLS . $
07 HE HAS TOUCHED THE HEART OF HIS SERVANT CUBBINS TODAY . $
01 MY CUP WAS FULL . $
07 HE DRANK THE DREGS . $
01 I HAVE WIPED THE PLATE CLEAN . $
07 SETTLED THE HASH OF THE WICKED . $
02 BUT WHAT 'S HAPPENED TO GEORGE ? $
YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE LET HIM GO RIDING ON THAT MACHINE . $
04 AND HAVE WE INDEED SETTLED ANYBODY'S HASH ? $
IN SMASHING THE TOWN CLERK'S HOME WE HAVE WROUGHT A SAVAGE B
IBLICAL KIND OF VENGEANCE ... $
07 HALLELUJAH . $
04 ... BUT WILL THIS SAVE THE TABERNACLE ? $
WILL IT PRESERVE A SINGLE SOUL IN THIS TOWN FROM DEHOUSING ?
 $
I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT RATHER THAT THE TOWN CLERK WOULD BE GO
ADED TO MORE FURIOUS ACTIVITY . $
#78 $
01 HIS HOME WAS HIS PRIDE . $
HE 'LL BE SHATTERED . $
04 A MAN OF SUCH WILL AND PURPOSE ? $
01 WE HAVE CREATED TEN THOUSAND WILLS AND TEN THOUSAND PURPO
SES . $
WE HAVE DEMONSTRATED THAT THE TOWN CLERK CAN BE OPPOSED . $
07 AND DEFEATED . $
04 WELL , YOU UNDERSTAND THESE THINGS , BUT WHATEVER THE OUT
COME , SAM , THE MEANS HAVE BEEN QUITE WRONG AND IT IS MOST
CERTAINLY NOT OF OUR PART TO GLOAT . $
07 FAIR ENOUGH . $
LORD , IT IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT OF OUR PART TO GLOAT . $
AT THIS HOUR AS THE CAPTAINS AND THE KINGS DEPART , AS THE G
LOVES ARE UNLACED AND THE STOOL AND THE BUCKET TAKEN FROM TH
E RING , SUFFER US TO PLACE NO BOASTFUL FOOT ON THE CHEST OF
 THE SMITTEN ... $
07 SUFFER US TO REMEMBER THAT THE OPPRESSORS ARE ALSO THY CH
ILDREN AND OUR BROTHERS , LET US NOT NOW GLORY IN THEIR DOWN
FALL BUT RATHER TURN UPON THEM THE WARM BLAST OF OUR FORGIVE
NESS . $
WE COMMEND THEM TO THY GRACE . $
02 GEORGE ! $
GEORGE ! $
03 I 'M OK . $
03 IT REALLY HAMMERS YOU , DOESN'T IT , HITTING A BUILDING T
HAT SIZE ? $
01 WELL , YES , I SUPPOSE SO ... $
IT 'S BIG , YES , AS HOUSES GO THESE DAYS . $
02 WALTER , IT MIGHT NOT BE VERY BIG TO YOU , BUT GEORGE HAS
N'T BEEN BROUGHT UP TO THIS KIND OF THING . $
HE 'S HAD A VERY SHELTERED LIFE WHILE YOU 'VE BEEN AWAY . $
01 THE BUILDING YOU HIT . $
THE TOWN CLERK'S HOUSE , YOU CAN'T MISTAKE IT . $
HE HAS MARBLE BALLS ON HIS GATEPOSTS . $
03 THAT 'S RIGHT , MARBLE BALLS . $
01 GOOD . $
03 OH , WE SENT THEM ROLLING , ALL RIGHT . $
BOWLED HIS GATEPOSTS DOWN LIKE SKITTLES . $
01 THEN WHAT ? $
HOW DID FRED TACKLE IT ? $
STRAIGHT THROUGH THE FRONT PORTICO ? $
03 NO , DOWN THE SIDE FIRST , OVER THE FLOWER BEDS AND THE L
ETTUCES , THROUGH THE GREENHOUSES - $
01 HIS MOTHER GROWS ORCHIDS . $
03 THEN WE SWUNG ROUND , THESE CATERPILLAR TRACKS THROWING H
UGE CHUNKS OF EARTH INTO THE TREES , AND CRUNCH INTO THE HOU
SE FROM THE BACK . $
STONES AND BEAMS AND THINGS FALLING - OH , THERE WAS ONE THI
NG GAVE US A NASTY TURN . $
LITTLE OLD LADY CAME TO THE BATHROOM WINDOW . $
01 HIS OLD MOTHER . $
03 SHE WENT ASHEN . $
04 OH , MY GOD . $
03 YES , ROTTEN MOMENT . $
SHE ESCAPED THOUGH . $
SLITHERED DOWN THE PORCH ROOF . $
THEY ALL ESCAPED . $
01 ALL WHO ? $
03 THE OTHER FOLKS . $
WHEN WE TURNED ROUND AGAIN THE ROOF WAS OFF . $
YOU COULD SEE INTO THE DINING ROOM . $
OLD GRANDFATHER CLOCK . $
MORE WHITE FACES AT THE WINDOW , OLD BIRDS . $
01 HIS AUNTIES . $
THEY PLAY BRIDGE WITH HIS OLD MOTHER . $
SCHOOL OF CARD SHARPS . $
04 MY GOD , HOW APPALLING . $
03 I DIDN'T LIKE THAT EITHER , REVEREND . $
ANYWAY , NOBODY HURT . $
THEY ALL TOOK HEADERS OUT OF THE WINDOWS . $
YOU COULD SEE THEM BEHIND US , PICKING THEMSELVES UP , SCUTT
LING ACROSS THE CATERPILLAR TRACK MARKS . $
OLD BLOKES AS WELL AS OLD BIRDS . $
ROTTEN REALLY , BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE GRAND STAIRCASE
 AND ALL THE BEDROOMS . $
04 WE HAVE DONE SOMETHING APPALLING . $
01 WE 'VE BEEN DOING APPALLING THINGS FOR YEARS . $
I 'VE BEEN DOING APPALLING THINGS . $
THE TOWN CLERK HAS BEEN DOING APPALLING THINGS . $
HIS ROTTEN RELATIONS LIVED UP THERE ON THE HILL AND CONDONED
 APPALLING THINGS . $
03 YOU HAD TO FEEL SORRY FOR THEM . $
OH , BUT THEY WERE CROSS . $
#79 $
ONE OF HIS UNCLES , AGILE OLD BLOKE , CAME SLIDING DOWN THE
ROOF ON TO THE TOP OF THE MACHINE , POURED HIS COUGH MEDICIN
E INTO THE PETROL TANK . $
IT STOPPED US DEAD . $
01 HOW MANY WERE THERE ? $
03 OH , THEY WERE ALL ON US . $
DRAGGED US OUT OF THE CAB AND IN WITH EVERYTHING - SPADES ,
CRUTCHES , KNITTING NEEDLES , CROCHET HOOKS . $
ONE OF HIS OLD AUNTIES NEARLY STRANGLED FRED WITH HER ROSARY
 BEADS . $
THEN UP INTO THE AIR WITH US AND STRAIGHT INTO THE RIVER . $
01 HOW MANY WERE THERE ? $
03 FELT LIKE FIVE THOUSAND . $
01 THIS RIVER THEY THREW YOU IN , GEORGE . $
WHERE WAS IT ? $
03 I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO STUDY THE LANDSCAPE . $
01 WAS IT SOME DISTANCE AWAY ? $
03 NO . $
NO , BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN . $
02 WHAT IS IT , WALTER ? $
01 WHERE YOU TURNED IN AT THE GATE , THE GATE YOU KNOCKED DO
WN - $
03 IT HAD MARBLE BALLS - $
01 BUT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD , NOW CAN YOU REMEMBER
, WAS IT A GOLF COURSE ? $
03 NO , IT WASN'T A GOLF COURSE , IT WAS A PETROL STATION .
$
ESSO , ESSO STATION . $
02 WALTER . $
WHAT IS IT , WALTER ? $
01 WE 'VE MADE AN ERROR . $
WE 'VE HIT THE WRONG HOUSE . $
WE 'VE DEMOLISHED THE OLD FOLK'S HOME . $
07 DEMOLISHED THE OLD FOLK'S HOME . $
02 DEMOLISHED THE OLD FOLK'S HOME . $
01 DEMOLISHED THE OLD FOLK'S HOME . $
04 MY GOD . $
03 I 'M VERY SORRY . $
01 MY FAULT . $
THE OLD FOLK HAVE MARBLE BALLS TOO . $
IT 'S IMPOSSIBLE TO OPPOSE THE TOWN CLERK ... I HAVE BEEN MA
D . $
I AM DEEPLY SORRY TO HAVE IMPLICATED YOU ST JOHN AND YOU GEO
RGE . $
02 HOW 'S GEORGE IMPLICATED ? $
01 RIDING ON THE MACHINE . $
02 AND ST JOHN ? $
01 NAME ON THE DEMOLITION ORDER . $
WE SHAN'T GET LESS THAN 99 YEARS . $
04 THEN DO PUT THE KETTLE ON , DARLING . $
MY WORD , WE 'VE ALMOST MISSED ELEVENSES . $
07 CHEER UP . $
TWICE WE 'VE TURNED THAT MACHINE FROM THE TABERNACLE . $
WE 'VE WON THE FIRST TWO ROUNDS , SWIG FROM THE BOTTLE , FRI
ENDS , SPIT IN THE BUCKET , SMEAR YOUR EYEBROWS WITH VASELIN
E AND BITE ON YOUR GUMSHIELD . $
WE 'RE READY FOR THE THIRD . $
01 THE THIRD AND LAST . $
07 AS THE LORD ORDAINS . $
01 AS THE TOWN CLERK ORDAINS . $
TOMORROW THE NEW DEHOUSING OFFICER WILL PERFORM HIS FIRST TA
SK . $
HE WILL RAZE THE TABERNACLE TO THE GROUND . $
03 HE CAN'T DO THAT WITHOUT THE MACHINE . $
01 SOMEBODY 'LL GO TO COLLECT IT . $
03 THEY 'LL COLLECT THE WRECKAGE THEN . $
THE OLD FOLK ARE BLOWING IT UP . $
01 HOW ARE THEY BLOWING IT UP ? $
03 BUILDING A FIRE . $
01 HOW ? $
03 I ONLY SAW FROM OVER THE RIVER . $
STICKS , LATHS , OLD LADIES CARRYING TWIGS IN THEIR PINNIES
. $
04 VALIANT LADIES . $
01 ALL RIGHT . $
02 WHAT DO YOU MEAN ' ALL RIGHT ' , WALTER ? $
IF THEY SET FIRE TO HIS MACHINE , HE 'S SCUPPERED . $
YOU SAID IT COULDN'T BE REPLACED . $
01 THAT 'S RIGHT , HE 'S PUT ALL HIS MONEY FOR THE NEXT TEN
YEARS INTO IT . $
HE 'S NO BUDGET TO REPLACE IT . $
07 THERE WE ARE , THEN . $
01 ARE WE ? $
SAM , IT 'S THE FIRST THING THEY ALL TRY TO DO . $
#80 $
' BLOW IT UP , ' THEY SAY , ' SET IT ON FIRE . ' $
IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK . $
THE ARMOUR PLATE IS 12 INCHES THICK . $
IT 'S WITHSTOOD PETROL BOMBS AND GELIGNITE WITHOUT A DENT .
$
OLD FOLK WITH THEIR STICKS AND STONES - $
07 AND THE HELP OF THE LORD . $
01 IT 'D BE THE FIRST TIME THE LORD HELPED THE DEHOUSED . $
07 NO DOUBT IT WOULD BE THE FIRST TIME HE WAS ASKED . $
I SHALL ENTER INTO COLLOQUY IMMEDIATELY . $
RIGHT , FRIENDS . $
SECONDS OUT . $
EYES DOWN . $
HERE WE GO . $
LORD GOD OF HOSTS , MIGHTY IN BATTLE , LOOK DOWN WITH FAVOUR
 ON THY CHILDREN , THE OLD BLOKES AND THEIR OLD BIRDS OF THE
 OLD FOLK'S HOME . $
FAVOUR THEIR FAG LIGHTERS , BLESS THEIR BELLOWS , FAN THEIR
FLAMES , ROAST THE MACHINE OF MOLOCH AS THOU ROASTED THE HER
ETICS OF OLD . $
WE , LORD , WHO OBEY THY WILL WAIT UPON THY WORKS . $
02 I 'D BETTER MAKE THE TEA . $
07 HALLELUJAH . $
TWO MINUTES AND SEVENTEEN SECONDS OF THE THIRD ROUND . $
02 WALTER , THEY 'VE BLOWN IT UP . $
YOU 'VE WON . $
NO MORE DEHOUSING , WALTER . $
WE 'VE SCUPPERED HIS PLAN . $
01 WE HAVEN'T SCUPPERED THE PLAN HE 'LL HAVE FOR ME . $
12 WALTER CUBBINS ! $
WALTER CUBBINS YOU HAVE BEHAVED LIKE WALTER CUBBINS , THEREF
ORE YOU ARE GUILTY . $
01 MR TOWN CLERK . $
12 THE DUTY WITH WHICH I CHARGED MYSELF - THE DUTY WE EACH U
NDERTOOK AS YOUNG MEN - WAS TO BRING ORDER TO THE TOWN AND J
USTICE TO ITS CITIZENS . $
01 YES , MR TOWN CLERK . $
12 THE FIRST AMBITION YOU HAVE BROUGHT TO FAILURE . $
THE SECOND IS ABOUT TO BE FULFILLED . $
I CAN NO LONGER PROMISE OUR CITIZENS A FUTURE OF ORDER . $
WHAT I CAN DO NOW IS TO PLACE JUSTICE IN THEIR HANDS . $
THIS WILL BE MY FINAL ACT BEFORE I RESIGN MY OFFICE . $
03 WHAT DOES HE MEAN ? $
12 I AM SPEAKING , WALTER CUBBINS , FROM THE PLANNING BUNKER
 OF THE TOWN HALL . $
ABOVE ME THE OFFICES ARE BEING LOCKED FOR THE LAST TIME AND
ONE BY ONE YOUR COLLEAGUES ARE LEAVING FOR UNEMPLOYMENT . $
BUT BEFORE THEY GO THEY WILL PUT YOU ON TRIAL , WALTER CUBBI
NS , NOT I BUT THEM - THEY AND THE SENIOR CITIZENS YOU HAVE
TODAY SO GRIEVOUSLY DEHOUSED AND INDEED , CUBBINS , ALL WHOM
 YOU HAVE DEHOUSED THROUGH THESE YEARS . $
BIDONVILLE WILL BE PRESENT AT YOUR TRIAL . $
01 MR TOWN CLERK - $
12 WHAT THEIR VERDICT MAY BE IS NOT FOR ME TO SAY . $
YOU WILL BE TRIED IN THE COUNCIL CHAMBER AND , IF THAT IS NO
T LARGE ENOUGH , IN THE MUNICIPAL SKATING RINK , AND , IF TH
AT IS NOT LARGE ENOUGH , AT THE FOOTBALL STADIUM . $
YOUR COLLEAGUES HAVE BEEN JOINED IN THE TOWN HALL SQUARE BY
DOMICILED CITIZENS AND THE FIRST CONTINGENTS ARE ARRIVING FR
OM BIDONVILLE . $
THEY ARE ERECTING A GIBBET - WITHOUT PREJUDICE . $
04 GOOD . $
IT IS PROPER THAT WE SHOULD HAVE A FAIR TRIAL . $
PREJUDICE IS MOST ASSIDUOUSLY TO BE AVOIDED ON THESE OCCASIO
NS . $
12 REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE . $
YOU AND YOUR TWO ACCOMPLICES WILL BE ARRESTED IN DUE COURSE
AND BROUGHT BEFORE THE PEOPLE . $
02 GEORGE ! $
ST JOHN ! $
OH , WALTER . $
SAM , WHAT CAN WE DO ? $
07 NOTHING . $
04 NOTHING ? $
DO I SEE THE TOWEL WAVED IN YOUR CORNER , THE SPONGE THROWN
UP ? $
SAM , THIS IS HERESY INDEED . $
THE VICTORY IS WON , THE MACHINE DESTROYED , THE DEHOUSING P
LAN SCRAPPED , THE TABERNACLE SPARED . $
YOU CAN CONTINUE YOUR EXCELLENT WORKS . $
07 AT WHAT COST TO THE REST OF YOU ? $
03 WE 'LL BE OUT AGAIN , SAM . $
04 A MERE 99 YEARS . $
A THOUSAND AGES ARE BUT AN EVENING . $
DARLING , IS THE TEA READY YET , AND DON'T WE HAVE SOME CAKE
 OR SOMETHING ? $
BRING THE JAM , SERVE TEA . $
LET US AWAIT OUR ARREST IN SOME STYLE . $
01 WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER , I MEAN NOW THE HOUR OF JUDGMENT I
S AT HAND , WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER - $
03 WHAT IS IT ? $
WHAT IS IT WE CAN DO FOR YOU , MR CUBBINS ? $
01 WOULDN'T , IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES , A HYMN PERHAPS OR A PRA
YER . $
04 OH , WHAT A GOOD THOUGHT . $
SAM . $
A HYMN AND A PRAYER , SAM . $
03 CUSTOM , SAM . $
SHOP ! $
MR CUBBINS IS APPLYING TO BE SAVED . $
01 I THOUGHT IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES A HYMN PERHAPS OR A PRAYER
 . $
02 HAVE YOU NOT GRASPED IT , LOVE ? $
MR CUBBINS HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO PENITENCE . $
03 APPLYING FOR SALVATION , SAM . $
04 RENOUNCING THE DEVIL AND ALL HIS WORKS . $
07 MR CUBBINS ? $
04 THE SAME . $
THE BLINDING LIGHT OF HIS EXPLODING MACHINE WAS TO THE GOOD
CUBBINS - $
07 THE LIGHT ON THE ROAD TO DAMASCUS . $
HALLELUJAH . $
PRAISE THE LORD . $
07 ' JOY SHALL BE IN HEAVEN OVER ONE SINNER THAT REPENTETH M
ORE THAN OVER NINETY AND NINE JUST PERSONS WHICH NEED NO REP
ENTANCE . ' $
FOR BROTHER CUBBINS SAVED AT THE HOUR OF DOOM , FRIENDS , A
VERSE . $
10 ABIDE WITH ME , FAST FALLS THE EVENTIDE . $
THE DARKNESS DEEPENS , LORD WITH ME ABIDE , WHEN OTHER HELPE
RS FAIL AND COMFORTS FLEE , HELP OF THE HELPLESS , O ABIDE W
ITH ME . $
07 THANK YOU , BROTHERS AND SISTER . $
LET US ENTER INTO COLLOQUY . $
PLEASE KNEEL . $
07 O GOD OF MERCY , LORD OF HOSTS , GREAT AND BLESSED REDEEM
ER , WE THANK THEE THAT , WORKING IN THY HABITUAL MYSTERIOUS
 WAY , THOU HAST THROUGH THE TURMOIL OF THESE HOURS TOUCHED
THE HEART AND ENLIGHTENED THE MIND OF THE ERRING CUBBINS . $
WE PRAISE THEE THAT THOU HAST SAVED THY TABERNACLE AND PRESE
RVED OUR NEIGHBOURS AND THY CHILDREN FROM THE BLIGHT OF DEHO
USING . $
BE WITH US EVER AND , ESPECIALLY WE PRAY THEE , BE A PRESENT
 HELP TO THOSE OF THY SERVANTS WHO MUST SHORTLY DEPART . $
03 ESCAPE ! $
02 WHERE TO ? $
03 MBUTULAND . $
04 LAND OF MY FATHERS . $
INDEED , INDEED , INDEED . $
STOP HARRY . $
LET US GO WITHOUT DELAY . $
07 ... AND HAVING CONFOUNDED THE TOWN CLERK TURN THOU THY AT
TENTION TO THE WICKED OF OTHER CLIMES . $
PULVERISE THEM THAT MOCK THEE , VISIT THY WRATH ON THEM THAT
 RAISE UP THEIR HAND AGAINST JERUSALEM , SHATTER THE INIQUIT
OUS , SUNDER THE ERRING , LAY ABOUT THYSELF , LORD GOD OF HO
STS , IN EVERY CONCEIVABLE DIRECTION . $
04 DEAR SAM , SORRY WE CAN'T STAY FOR THE LAST TRUMP OR THE
FINAL BELL . $
THE TABERNACLE IS YOURS . $
WOULD YOU BE GOOD ENOUGH TO CABLE MR NKRINKA NGRINGA ? $
I ACCEPT THE BISHOPRIC . $
GEORGE , MARJORIE , TIME PRESSES . $
#81 $
02 BUT , ST JOHN , NOT SO QUICK , LOVE . $
THEY ATE THE LAST MAN . $
04 DARLING , WE ARE AT THE MOMENT OF TRUTH . $
EITHER WE STAY HERE AND SWING ON THE GIBBET , OR GO THERE AN
D TAKE OUR CHANCE WITH THE POT . $
02 WHAT DO YOU THINK , GEORGE ? $
04 THE POT I SHOULD RECOMMEND EVERY TIME , DARLING . $
03 I THINK THE POT . $
02 ALL RIGHT , THEN . $
THE POT . $
03 WHAT ABOUT MY DAD ? $
04 YOUR DAD ? $
03 I HAVEN'T HAD HIM 24 HOURS . $
04 AH , THE GOOD MR CUBBINS . $
INDEED THE SAVED MR CUBBINS . $
COME , CUBBINS , COME . $
MY DEAR CUBBINS , PLEASE DO COME . $
03 THERE ARE BEACHES THERE , AREN'T THERE , REVEREND ? $
04 INDEED . $
03 GOLDEN SAND , ROLLING SURF , STARS IN THE SKY , PURPLE SH
ADOWS . $
04 A MAN OF YOUR EXPERIENCE WOULD BE INVALUABLE . $
02 I KNOW WHAT IT IS , LOVE ... HILDA . $
SHE 'S STOOD BY YOU ALL THESE YEARS , HELPED YOU IN YOUR CAR
EER . $
01 YES , THE TIME HAS COME TO DITCH HILDA . $
04 GOOD MAN , GOOD MAN ... $
07 BRING ME A PARROT BACK . $
02 COME ON , LOVE , THE POLICE . $
06 SOMEBODY OFF SOMEWHERE ? $
04 NOT REALLY . $
06 RIGHT . $
WELL , I CAN'T GET HIM BOOKED IN ANYWHERE ELSE SO I ACCEPT Y
OUR OFFER , REVEREND : EARTH BURIAL . $
HE 'S OUTSIDE . $
04 YES , AH - $
02 TRY THE CO-OP . $
06 LOOK NOW - $
04 QUITE RIGHT , DEAR BOY , AVOID THE CO-OP , ESCHEW THE OVE
N AND INDEED RENOUNCE THE CLAY . $
HAPPILY I FIND MYSELF IN A POSITION TO OFFER BURIAL AT SEA .
 $
06 BURIAL AT SEA ? $
... IT HADN'T CROSSED MY MIND ... $
YES , HE USED TO PADDLE ON HIS HOLIDAYS . $
04 SPLENDID , DPLENDID . $
WHAT FITTER REWARD INDEED FOR A LIFELONG PADDLER THAN ETERNA
L REST IN THE BRINY DEPTHS . $
02 LOVE , THE GIBBET . $
10 WHAT 'S THIS , THEN ? $
06 BURIAL AT SEA , THAT 'S WHAT IT IS . $
07 FRIENDS . $
06 RESPECT , PLEASE . $
07 AS THY SERVANT WAS SAYING WHEN INTERRUPTED . $
O LORD , CONTINUE IN THY EVERLASTING GOODNESS TO SMITE THY E
NEMIES . $
SHATTER AND SUNDER THEM . $
DRY UP THEIR WELLS , CAUSE THEIR FRUITS TO WITHER , SUFFER T
HEM NOT TO MULTIPLY . $
BRING DOWN UPON THEM FLOOD , FIRE , FAMINE AND PESTILENCE ,
AND FURTHER INCOMMODE THEM , O LORD GOD OF HOSTS , WITH SUCH
 ADDITIONAL MEASURES AS MANY OCCUR TO THEE FROM TIME TO TIME
 . $
06 WHAT WAS THAT ? $
10 LOOK , NOW WHAT 'S ... ? $
07 ' MAN WALKETH IN A VAIN SHADOW AND DISQUIETETH HIMSELF IN
 VAIN . ' $