<< *171 GILES COOPER : HAPPY FAMILY . LONDON , PINGUIN BOOKS
 , 1967 , 95 P. . FIRST PERF. : 100566 . CHAR. : 01 DEBORAH
SOLSTICE , 02 MARK , 03 SUSAN , 04 GREGORY BUTLER . >> $
#21 $
< ACT ONE > $
< DEBORAH'S SITTING-ROOM IS A PLEASANT ROOM , A COSY ROOM WI
TH OAK BEAMS AND GAY CHINTZES , BUT THE CHINTZES ARE NOT AS
GAY AS THEY ONCE WERE AND ON A FINE DAY THE COSINESS HAS A F
ROWSTY , DUSTY QUALITY . $
A DOOR LEADS OUT TO THE KITCHEN , RIGHT . $
UPSTAGE LEFT CAN BE SEEN A HALL WITH A STAIRCASE LEADING TO
THE NEXT FLOOR . $
TO THE LEFT IS THE MAIN WINDOW LOOKING OUT ON TO THE GARDEN
. $
THERE IS RATHER TOO MUCH FURNITURE , THE MAIN PIECES BEING A
 TABLE RIGHT , A SOFA CENTRE , AND A SECRETAIRE LEFT . $
DEBORAH SOLSTICE IS SITTING ON THE SOFA . $
SHE IS DOING NOTHING ELSE , JUST SITTING . $
OUTSIDE IT IS SPRING AND THE BIRDS ARE SINGING BUT DEBORAH S
ITS ON , CENTRE STAGE , STARING INTO THE AFTERNOON . $
A KETTLE WHISTLES , OFF . $
SLOWLY SHE LOOKS TOWARDS IT AND BACK AGAIN . ) > $
01 TEA-TIME . $
< ( BUT STILL SHE DOES NOT MOVE . $
THE DOORBELL RINGS . $
ALARM COMES INTO DEBORAH'S EYES , SHE LOOKS TOWARDS THE HALL
 , UPSTAGE LEFT . $
WHO CAN IT BE ? $
SHE GOES TO THE WINDOW , LEFT , AND LOOKS OUT , BUT CANNOT S
EE ANYONE . ) > $
NOBODY . $
< ( THE BELL RINGS AGAIN . $
DEBORAH STANDS , UNCERTAIN WHAT TO DO . $
THEN SUDDENLY FROM OUTSIDE COMES A SERIES OF BARKS . $
HER FACE LIGHTS UP WITH PLEASURE . ) > $
BARK ! $
BARK ! $
< ( SHE RUNS TO THE HALL AND OPENS THE FRONT DOOR . ) > $
< ( MARK ENTERS . $
SHE EMBRACES HIM . $
HE GROWLS . ) > $
02 AH MY DEAR DEEBOLA . $
I 'M GLAD TO FIND YOU IN . $
01 HAVE YOU COME FROM KENT ? $
02 ALL THE WAY . $
01 TO STAY ? $
02 WITH MY TOOTHBRUSH AND MY FLANNEL . $
01 A GREEN TOOTHBRUSH ? $
02 OF COURSE . $
WHEN DID I USE ANY OTHER ? $
01 WHEN WE WENT TO DINARD . $
YOU DROPPED YOUR BRUSH DOWN THE LAV AND MUMMY BOUGHT YOU A B
LUE ONE BECAUSE THERE WASN'T A GREEN TO BE HAD . $
02 I NEVER CLEANED MY TEETH WITH IT . $
01 YOU DID ! $
02 ONLY PRETENDED . $
01 OH , BARK ... ! $
#22 $
02 NOW , DEEBOLA , NOW ! $
DON'T START AN ARGUMENT OR I SHALL THINK I 'M WITH A CERTAIN
 ELDER SISTER . $
01 OH NO , BARK , PLEASE . $
YOU CAN NEVER SAY I 'M LIKE DUCHESS . $
02 I MIGHT . $
01 MY FEET FOR A START . $
THEY 'RE TINY BESIDE HERS . $
02 < ( THROWS HIMSELF INTO A CHAIR ) > $
SHE , I MAY SAY , HAS BROUGHT ME HERE . $
01 NOT ON A RAILWAY TRAIN ? $
YES , A RAILWAY TRAIN . $
WHAT DO YOU THINK , PIGGY-BACK ? $
01 SHE COULD . $
02 BUT SHE DIDN'T . $
NO , SHE DIDN'T . $
SHE 'S STILL IN BATH . $
01 OH DO YOU REMEMBER ... ? $
WHAT ? $
01 A JOKE ABOUT BATH . $
02 THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF JOKES ABOUT BATH . $
NO , DEEBOLA , THIS IS SERIOUS . $
01 REALLY SERIOUS ? $
02 CERTAINLY . $
01 DEADLY SERIOUS ? $
02 POSSIBLY . $
01 NOT PUNISHMENT SERIOUS ? $
02 I WOULD NOT , AT THIS JUNCTURE , CARE TO SAY . $
01 VERY HARD TO FIND A PUNISHMENT FOR DUCHESS. $
02 BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE . $
01 SHE HONESTLY WOULDN'T MIND IF YOU TOOK ONE OF HER BOOKS .
 $
02 < ( CONSIDERING ) > $
NO-O . $
01 AND IF YOU SENT HER TO BED SHE WOULDN'T GO . $
02 I THINK I COULD FIND SOMETHING FOR HER . $
01 WHAT ? $
02 THERE 'S ALWAYS PUNISHMENT B. $
01 < ( AWED ) > $
OH YES , MARK , OF COURSE . $
SO THERE IS . $
02 SHE WOULDN'T CARE FOR THAT . $
01 NO SHE WOULDN'T , BUT ... $
02 THERE 'S NO BUT TO IT , DEBORAH , NO BUT AT ALL . $
SHE 'S JUST AS FRIGHTENED OF IT AS YOU ARE . $
01 OH YES , ONLY WHY ? $
02 WHY IS SHE FRIGHTENED ? $
01 NO , WHAT HAS SHE DONE TO DESERVE IT ? $
#23 $
02 NOTHING AS FAR AS I KNOW . $
01 BUT YOU SAID ... $
02 I SAID I COULD NOT SAY . $
YOU INTRODUCED THE THEME OF PUNISHMENT : A VINDICTIVE STREAK
 , DEEBOLA , WHICH YOU MUST CORRECTIFY . $
01 SORRY , GO ON ABOUT DUCHESS . $
02 I RECEIVED A LETTER . $
01 FROM DUCHESS ? $
02 OF COURSE . $
01 A LETTER FROM SHE , TO YOU AND ME . $
02 ME ACTUALLY . $
SHE HAS A FRIEND . $
01 DUCHESS HAS ? $
02 SO SHE SAYS . $
01 SOMEONE WE DON'T KNOW ? $
02 APPARENTLY . $
01 BUT THERE CAN'T BE ANYONE WE DON'T KNOW . $
02 ARE YOU SURE SHE HASN'T TOLD YOU ? $
< ( PAUSE . $
DEBORAH LOOKS GUILTY . ) > $
02 DEBORAH . $
01 OH DON'T CALL ME THAT . $
YOU ONLY DO WHEN YOU 'RE ANGRY . $
02 YOU 'VE HAD A LETTER . $
01 PERHAPS . $
< ( MARK HOLDS OUT HIS HAND . ) > $
01 < ( GOES TO HER DESK AND FINDS AN ENVELOPE WHICH SHE HAND
S TO HIM ) > $
IT 'S HER SILLY SCRATCHY WRITING THAT 'S SO DIFFICULT . $
02 < ( TAKES THE LETTER AND STUDIES IT ) > $
SHE SAYS THE SAME TO YOU AND MORE . $
01 HOW MORE ? $
02 SHE 'S BRINGING THIS FRIEND TO SEE YOU . $
01 IF I 'D SAID ' WHAT MORE ? ' IT WOULD HAVE BEEN THAT MAN
WHO KEPT HENS ACROSS THE PADDOCK . $
DO YOU REMEMBER ? $
VINCENT WHATMORE . $
02 SHE 'S BRINGING THIS FRIEND TO SEE YOU . $
01 YOU DARED ME TO ASK HIM HIS CHRISTIAN ... $
TO SEE ME ? $
02 ' BARK IS TOO FAR AWAY DOWN IN KENT BUT WE HOPE TO DRIVE
OVER AND SEE YOU EITHER THIS WEEKEND OR NEXT . ' $
THAT 'S LAST WEEKEND OR THIS ONE NOW . $
#24 $
01 OH , BARK . $
LOVELY SEEING DUCHESS OF COURSE , BUT WHO IS THIS FRIEND ? $
02 SOMEONE HAD A COUSIN IN SOMERSET . $
01 AND I KNOW WHO . $
WAIT , WAIT , WAIT . $
THE PEARSONS . $
02 WAS IT ? $
01 I NEVER FORGET ANYTHING . $
I REMEMBER MUMMY COMING IN FROM SHOPPING AND TELLING US HOW
SHE 'D MET MRS PEARSON IN THE BANK AND MRS PEARSON HAD SAID
THAT BERYL WAS GOING DOWN TO STAY WITH HER COUSIN ROSEMARY I
N SOMERSET AND COULDN'T COME TO TEA ON TUESDAY . $
THERE . $
THAT 'S WHO IT IS . $
02 ROSEMARY PEARSON . $
YOU 'D THINK SHE WOULD HAVE MENTIONED IT . $
01 OH NOT DUCHESS , NEVER HER , SHE 'D THINK WE 'D FORGOTTEN
 . $
OR SHE 'D WANT TO MAKE IT A SURPRISE . $
THAT 'S WHO IT IS , I 'M SURE . $
< ( SHE JUMPS UP . ) > $
TEA . $
< ( SHE GOES OUT ) > $
02 JOLLY GOOD . $
< ( HE STRETCHES . ) > $
I 'M TIRED . $
IT 'S A LONG WAY , DEEBOLA , TO THE MIDLANDS . $
< ( DEBORAH RETURNS WITH A TRAY . $
DURING THE CONVERSATION SHE GOES IN AND OUT OF THE KITCHEN W
ITH MILK , BREAD , ETC. ) > $
01 WE ARE NOT MIDLAND , BARK , IN HUNTINGDONSHIRE . $
02 WHAT ARE YOU THEN ? $
01 NORTH SOUTH . $
02 ' EAST , WEST , HOME 'S BEST CHANGE YOUR PANTS BUT NOT YO
UR VEST . ' $
01 OH , IT 'S LOVELY TO HAVE YOU HERE , BARK , YOU DON'T KNO
W . $
I 'VE SEEN NOBODY SINCE CHRISTMAS . $
02 NOR ME , DEAR DEEBOLA . $
01 NOT IN KENT ? $
02 THERE 'S NOBODY IN KENT . $
01 I THOUGHT IT WAS FULL . $
02 NOT NOW . $
PERHAPS IT WAS ONCE , BUT THERE 'S NOBODY NOW . $
01 DON'T YOU GO TO LONDON ? $
02 LONDON 'S DEAD . $
THERE 'S BEEN NOBODY IN LONDON FOR YEARS . $
01 < ( WICKEDLY ) > $
OR BATH ? $
02 AH , I RATHER THINK THERE IS SOMEBODY IN BATH . $
< ( THEY SPEAK TOGETHER . ) > $
01 02 THE DOOR 'S LOCKED ! $
< ( THEY LAUGH . ) > $
#25 $
01 YOU CAN'T GET IN . $
02 THERE 'S A SOUND OF SPLASHING . $
01 PULLING OF THE CHAIN ! $
02 AND OUT COMES THE DUCHESS . $
01 WITH HER FRIEND . $
02 NO , NO . $
SHE CAN'T SHARE BATH . $
SHE 'S A BIG GIRL NOW . $
01 OH EXCRUCIATING , BARK . $
02 MY TEA . $
MY TEA BEFORE I BITE . $
01 OWL-EYES . $
02 TEA . $
01 OWL-EYES FIRST . $
< ( MARK STANDS . $
DEBORAH GOES TO HIM . $
THEY PLACE THEIR FOREHEADS TOGETHER . $
THEY SHUT THEIR EYES . ) > $
01 < ( COUNTS ) > $
ONE , TWO , THREE . $
OWL-EYES ! $
< ( THEY OPEN THEIR EYES , THEN SEPARATE , LAUGHING . $
DEBORAH CONTINUES TO LAY TEA , GOING IN AND OUT OF THE KITCH
EN . $
MARK LOOKS AT THE BOOKS ON HER SHELVES . ) > $
02 YOU SEEM TO HAVE ALL THE BOOKS . $
01 AH , BUT YOU HAVE THE LOOKS . $
< ( MARK HAS TAKEN OUT A BOOK AND IS READING . ) > $
02 TEE HEE . $
01 WHAT 'S THAT ? $
A BEATRIX POTTER ? $
02 NO , IT 'S CALLED THE BROWN BOOK OF THE HITLER TERROR . $
01 ONE OF MUMMY'S . $
02 CHARACTER FORMING . $
< ( HE RETURNS TO THE BOOKS . ) > $
MOST OF THE NESBITS AND WINNIE THE POOH . $
< ( THE LOWER PART OF THE CASE IS A CUPBOARD . $
MARK OPENS IT . $
DEBORAH PUTS THE TEAPOT ON THE TABLE . ) > $
01 HORSE IN THE STABLE . $
02 AND GROWING OLD . $
WHAT 'S THIS ? $
< ( MARK TAKES OUT A GOLLIWOG AND LOOKS AT IT . ) > $
01 MINE . $
FROM AUNT POLLY FOR MY BIRTHDAY . $
02 < ( TAKES OUT A BATTERED MECCANO MODEL , NEARLY FALLING T
O PIECES . $
HE STUDIES IT . $
HIS TONE IS OVER-CASUAL WHEN HE SPEAKS ) > $
AND THIS ? $
01 MY COT . $
02 WHAT ? $
01 DROP-SIDE COT . $
02 YOURS ? $
#26 $
01 I MADE IT . $
02 < ( TO HIMSELF ) > $
MADE IT , MADE IT . $
01 < ( FEELING THE TEAPOT ) > $
OLDER AND OLDER . $
02 < ( MOVES TO THE TABLE AND PUTS THE MODEL ON IT . $
HE SPEAKS CALMLY BUT WITH MENACE ) > $
MADE IT WITH MY MECCANO . $
01 WHO SAYS YOURS ? $
02 I SAY MINE . $
< ( DEBORAH SMIRKS . ) > $
02 WHY DO YOU SMIRK ? $
01 YOU 'VE FORGOTTEN THAT I JUST HAPPENED TO HAVE A SET OF M
Y OWN . $
02 OH YES ? $
01 IT WAS CHRISTMAS ONE YEAR , I FORGET WHICH YEAR . $
ABOUT NOVEMBER . $
02 EASY ENOUGH TO FIND OUT WHICH YEAR CHRISTMAS FELL IN NOVE
MBER . $
01 I NEVER SAID THAT ! $
02 INDEED YOU SAID EXACTLY THAT . $
01 NOVEMBER THAT WE WROTE OUR LETTERS . $
02 THAT WAS NOT WHAT YOU SAID , BUT NEVER MIND . $
01 MARK PLEASE ... $
DON'T BE SO COLD AND JUDGING . $
02 GO ON , GO ON . $
01 WE WROTE OUR FATHER CHRISTMAS LETTERS AND I ASKED FOR A S
ET LIKE YOURS . $
BUT HE DIDN'T GIVE IT TO ME , TOO BIG I SUPPOSE . $
MY SET ACTUALLY CAME ON THE TREE AS A PRESENT FROM GWENDOLIN
E . $
02 I REMEMBER . $
01 THERE THEN . $
02 LIAR . $
01 MARK ! $
02 IT SO HAPPENS THAT I ALSO REMEMBER THE NUMBER OF MY SET .
 $
IT WAS A FIVE . $
01 WELL ? $
02 I HAD WORKED MY WAY UP TO FIVE OVER SEVERAL YEARS . $
01 I DON'T SEE WHAT DIFFERENCE IT MAKES . $
02 DO YOU SERIOUSLY IMAGINE THAT A GOLDFISH WOULD GIVE YOU A
 FIVE ? $
01 ' SERIOUSLY IMAGINE . ' $
OH MARK , WHAT POMP ! $
02 NO , BUT DO YOU , DO YOU ? $
#27 $
01 I NEVER SAID I DID . $
A SET LIKE YOURS I SAID , NOT NECESSARILY THE SAME SET . $
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE NUMBERS . $
02 TRUE , BUT YOU ALSO SAID , CORRECT ME IF I 'M WRONG , THA
T YOU HAD MADE THIS OBJECT WITH YOUR OWN SET . $
< ( HE HOLDS UP THE MODEL . ) > $
01 AND SO I DID . $
02 < ( WITH GREAT CALM ) > $
VERY WELL THEN , WILL YOU TELL ME THE NAME OF THIS PART . $
< ( INDICATING IT TO HER ) > $
01 < ( APPROACHING HIM ) > $
WHICH ? $
02 THIS . $
AND THAT , AND THOSE - FOUR OF THEM . $
01 I DON'T KNOW . $
02 THEN I WILL TELL YOU . $
THEY ARE FLANGED ANGLE BRACKETS . $
< ( HE WALKS AWAY FROM HER , HOLDING THE MODEL . ) > $
ONE TWO THREE FOUR FLANGED ANGLE BRACKETS . $
AND IN THE NUMBER ONE SET THERE ARE NO FLANGED ANGLE BRACKET
S . $
01 WELL ... $
02 < ( WITH A BURST OF FURY ) > $
NONE AT ALL !  $
NOT A SINGLE ONE ! $
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ? $
NOT ONE ! $
WHICH MEANS ... $
YES ? $
TELL ME WHAT IT MEANS . $
01 PERHAPS ... $
02 YES ? $
01 PERHAPS THERE WAS A MISTAKE AND THEY PUT ONE IN BY ACCIDE
NT . $
02 < ( IN SORROW THIS TIME ) > $
OH , DEBORAH ! $
01 THEY DO MAKE MISTAKES . $
I READ THE OTHER DAY ABOUT A LOAF OF BREAD WITH A CANDLE-END
 IN IT . $
02 BUT STICKING TO FLANGED ANGLE BRACKETS , TRY AGAIN . $
01 IT COULD HAVE ... HAVE BEEN LYING AROUND AND GOT PUT IN W
ITH MY SET . $
02 BY WHOM ? $
01 BY NANNY . $
02 SHE NEVER TIDIED UP HERSELF . $
SHE MADE US DO IT . $
01 DUCHESS THEN , PERHAPS . $
02 SUSAN WOULD HAVE ASKED WHOSE IT WAS . $
01 WELL THEN ... $
02 YES ? $
01 PERHAPS IT WAS ... $
02 GO ON . $
01 ... ME . $
#28 $
02 PERHAPS IT WAS YOU . $
01 IF IT WAS I 'M SORRY , HONESTLY , MARK , I 'M TERRIBLY SO
RRY . $
I NEVER MEANT TO . $
02 < ( WITH BITTER SCORN ) > $
' HONESTLY ' . $
01 TAKE IT ALL , THE WHOLE LOT . $
I 'VE OUTGROWN IT . $
02 HAVE YOU , DEBORAH ? $
01 LIKE YOU OUTGREW SQUIRREL NUTKIN . $
02 WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU OUTGROWN ? $
01 LOTS OF THINGS . $
02 PUNISHMENT FOR INSTANCE ? $
< ( SHE IS SILENT . ) > $
02 PUNISHMENT B ? $
HAVE YOU OUTGROWN THAT ? $
01 < ( TIMIDLY ) > $
I DON'T KNOW , MARK . $
02 DON'T KNOW ? $
01 BECAUSE YOU NEVER TELL US WHAT IT IS . $
02 WHAT DO YOU THINK IT IS . $
01 I ... I DON'T LIKE TO SAY . $
02 IT 'S WORSE THAN THAT . $
A HUNDRED TIMES MORE HORRIBLE THAN ANYTHING YOU COULD THINK
OF . $
OR EVEN DUCHESS . $
THAT 'S WHY I 'VE NEVER USED IT YET . $
BUT NOW ... NOW WHEN I SEE THIS I WONDER WHETHER THE TIME HA
S NOT COME ... $
01 OH NO IT HASN'T . $
02 THERE ARE MORE THAN A DOZEN PIECES MISSING FROM MY SET .
$
01 THEY GET LOST ! $
UNDER RADIATORS , CARPETS , CHAIRS . $
THEY DROP AND ROLL . $
02 STOLEN . $
01 NO ! $
02 LIKE THESE WERE STOLEN ! $
01 I FOUND THEM . $
02 STEALING BY FINDING , A WELL-KNOWN CRIME . $
01 I DIDN'T KNOW ! $
A WELL-KNOWN EXCUSE . $
IT 'S TIME YOU DID KNOW . $
01 OH , MARK , PLEASE NO ... NOT PUNISHMENT B . $
02 WHAT THEN ? $
01 < ( WEEPING ) > $
I 'M SORRY , I AM , I REALLY AM . $
02 REFUGE IN TEARS , OH YES I KNOW . $
WEEP AWAY BUT YOU 'LL NEVER WASH AWAY . $
A PUNISHMENT THERE MUST BE . $
< ( HE GOES TO THE BOOKSHELF AND LOOKS AT THE BOOKS . ) > $
A PUNISHMENT THERE WILL BE , EVEN IF IT 'S NOT B . $
#29 $
01 < ( SMILING WANLY ) > $
NOT B . $
02 NOT B , NOT B BUT ... $
< ( HE STRETCHES OUT HIS HAND TO THE SHELF , LOOKING AT HER
. ) > $
01 A BOOK ? $
02 I THINK A BOOK , WHY NOT A BOOK ? $
THIS BOOK WILL DO VERY WELL . $
01 OH NO , MARK , NO ... $
02 THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS . $
THANK YOU VERY MUCH . $
< ( HE POCKETS IT . ) > $
01 < ( RUSHES AT HIM ) > $
NO IT 'S MINE , YOU SHAN'T HAVE THAT , YOU SHAN'T ! $
I 'LL NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN IF YOU TAKE THAT . $
02 I SHAN'T MISS THE CONVERSATION OF A THIEF . $
GET AWAY , DEBORAH , DON'T BE CHILDISH . $
01 MINE ! $
MINE ! $
MINE ! $
< ( SHE STRUGGLES WITH HIM . $
THE DOORBELL RINGS . $
THEY SEPARATE . ) > $
01 DUCHESS ? $
02 YOUR HOUSE . $
01 OPEN THE DOOR , BARK , PLEASE . $
IT MIGHT BE SOMEONE ELSE . $
02 WHO ? $
01 NOBODY . $
< ( THE BELL RINGS AGAIN . ) > $
02 IT 'S HER ALL RIGHT . $
IMPATIENT . $
< ( HE GOES OUT INTO THE HALL AND OPENS THE DOOR . $
SUSAN SWEEPS IN . ) > $
03 BARK , I KNEW YOU 'D BE HERE . $
< ( KISS ) > $
DEEBOLA , YOU LOOK CONSTIPATED . $
< ( KISS ) > $
WHAT A LONG WAY I 'VE COME , MILES AND MILES AND MILES . $
TEA , OH TEA , WHAT HEAVEN . $
< ( SHE SEES THE MECCANO ON THE TABLE . ) > $
FANCY BRINGING THAT WHEN YOU COME OUT FOR THE AFTERNOON OR A
RE YOU STAYING ? $
02 STAYING AND ... $
01 HE DIDN'T BRING IT . $
I STOLE SOME BITS OF HIS SET AND MADE A DROP-SIDE COT AND NO
W I 'VE GIVEN IT ALL TO HIM ! $
< ( SHE SMILES , RELIEVED OF GUILT BY HER CONFESSION . ) > $
03 WELL THAT 'S NICE . $
I 'VE  TOLD GREGORY TO PUT HIS CAR IN THE GARAGE . $
02 GREGORY ? $
01 OH DUCHESS , YOUR FRIEND . $
IS HE A MAN ? $
IS HE ? $
03 WHAT DID YOU EXPECT ? $
02 WHO IS HE ? $
03 MY FRIEND . $
02 BUT WHO ELSE ? $
#30 $
03 NOBODY ELSE . $
01 A COUSIN OF BERYL PEARSON ? $
ROSEMARY'S HUSBAND , HER UNCLE , HER BROTHER-IN-LAW , COUSIN
 ... FRIEND ? $
03 NO . $
HE 'S GREGORY BUTLER . $
02 DO YOU MEAN HE 'S NOBODY ? $
03 HERE HE IS , YOU 'D BETTER ASK HIM . $
< ( GREGORY HAS HALF-OPENED THE DOOR WHICH IS AJAR . ) > $
03 COME IN , GREGORY . $
< ( HE ENTERS CARRYING TWO SUITCASES . $
DEBORAH MOVES UP AND SHUTS THE DOOR BEHIND HIM . ) > $
04 I 'M SORRY I ... $
03 < ( BREAKING IN ) > $ $
GREGORY , MY SISTER DEBORAH , MY BROTHER , MARK . $
02 < ( STEPS FORWARD ) > $
BUTLER IS IT ? $
HOW DO YOU DO . $
I 'M AFRAID MY SISTER 'S BAD AT INTRODUCTIONS . $
< ( THEY SHAKE HANDS . ) > $
01 < ( COMES FORWARD ) > $
HOW DO YOU DO . $
HAVE YOU HAD TEA ? $
03 NO DARLING , THAT 'S WHY I SAID HEAVEN . $
04 I 'M AFRAID THERE 'S A CAR IN THE GARAGE ALREADY . $
01 < ( TO SUSAN ) > $
HARRIET . $
03 OH HELL YES . $
WE MUST MOVE HER . $
01 WE CAN'T ! $
SHE 'S BEEN THERE FOR TWENTY YEARS . $
03 THEN SHE NEEDS A BREATH OF FRESH AIR . $
04 MINE CAN STAY OUTSIDE PERFECTLY WELL . $
03 IT WILL NOT STAY OUTSIDE . $
02 I 'M AFRAID IT MUST . $
< ( TO GREGORY ) > $
THE HUMBER WOULD NEED A CRANE . $
IT 'S DERELICT . $
01 MARK ! $
HOW CAN YOU BE SO UNKIND ABOUT HARRIET AFTER ALL THE PICNICS
 SHE 'S TAKEN YOU ON ? $
SHE 'S EARNED HER GARAGE . $
03 TEA . $
01 COLD . $
03 MORE . $
01 THEN COME AND HELP . $
03 NO . $
< ( SHE SITS . ) > $
TAKE YOUR COAT OFF , GREGORY , AND SIT DOWN . $
< ( DEBORAH CROSSLY PICKS UP THE TEAPOT AND GOES OFF . ) > $
02 THERE 'S A PEG IN THE HALL . $
04 THANK YOU . $
< ( HE TAKES HIS COAT OFF AND MOVES OUT INTO THE HALL , WHER
E HE HANGS IT UP . ) > $
03 SHOW HIM THE GEOGRAPHY , MARK . $
#31 $
02 < ( GOES TO THE HALL AND OPENS A DOOR ) > $
THERE IT IS , BUTLER . $
04 THANK YOU . $
< ( MARK STANDS AS IF TO USHER HIM IN . ) > $
04 THANK YOU . $
LATER . $
02 THERE WHEN YOU NEED IT . $
03 WHICH REMINDS ME , I DO . $
< ( SHE RISES AND GOES OUT INTO THE HALL AS THE OTHER TWO CO
ME IN . ) > $
03 < ( ADDRESSES GREGORY AS SHE BEGINS TO MOUNT THE STAIRS )
 > $
TELL HIM ABOUT YOURSELF . $
BUT DON'T FRIGHTEN HIM . $
< ( SHE GOES ) > $
< ( GREGORY AND MARK MOVE DOWN FROM THE HALL . ) > $
02 < ( TURNS TO GREGORY ) > $
I DON'T KNOW THAT THERE 'S MUCH TO TELL YOU . $
04 I ... $
02 I LIVE DOWN IN KENT YOU KNOW . $
AN OLD HOUSE . $
NOT BAD . $
04 YOU 'RE A STOCKBROKER I BELIEVE ? $
02 YES . $
04 I 'M A SOLICITOR . $
02 ONE OF MY UNCLES HAD A FIRM . $
I WENT INTO IT . $
I SUPPOSE SUSAN TOLD YOU . $
04 SHE TALKS A LOT ABOUT YOU BOTH . $
02 I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT SHE FINDS TO SAY . $
04 YOU ALWAYS SEEM TO HAVE BEEN VERY CLOSE TO EACH OTHER . $
$
02 FROM HERE TO BATH IS A HUNDRED MILES . $
FROM BATH TO KENT ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTY . $
04 CLOSE AS A FAMILY . $
02 OH , FAMILY , FAMILY . $
YES . $
04 I ENVY YOU . $
I WAS AN ONLY CHILD AND MY PARENTS DIED YEARS AGO . $
02 A RAILWAY ACCIDENT . $
ABSURD . $
04 WHAT ? $
02 THEY DIED IN A RAILWAY ACCIDENT . $
THE SORT OF THING THAT HAPPENS TO NOBODY . $
04 YOUR PARENTS ? $
02 YES . $
ASTONISHING REALLY . $
NEWSPAPER STUFF . $
04 SAD . $
02 MORE THAN SAD . $
04 SHOCKING . $
0I YES . $
YES SHOCKING 'S A GOOD WORD FOR IT . $
IT 'S THE WORD I USED MYSELF WHEN WE WERE TOLD THE NEWS . $
#32 $
' HOW SHOCKING , ' I SAID . $
OF COURSE THE GIRLS BLUBBED BUT I DIDN'T . $
NOT THE THING FOR A CHAP . $
04 HOW OLD WERE YOU ? $
02 TWENTY-SIX . $
< ( GREGORY LOOKS AT HIM WITH SURPRISE . ) > $
02 I 'D RATHER NOT TALK ABOUT IT IF YOU DON'T MIND . $
04 I 'M SORRY . $
02 < ( TO HIMSELF ) > $
BUTLER ... BUTLER . $
04 YES . $
02 I DON'T THINK THERE HAVE BEEN ANY BUTLERS . $
< ( DEBORAH ENTERS WITH THE TEAPOT . ) > $
02 HAVE THERE , DEBORAH ? $
01 THERE WAS A BULLER . $
HE HAD A WATERFALL IN HIS GARDEN AND MARRIED AUNTIE JANE'S F
RIEND WHO MADE QUINCE JELLY . $
02 NO GOOD . $
01 < ( TO GREGORY ) > $
HE WAS A TALL MAN WITH A STOOP . $
02 IF HE WAS A SEAFARING MAN WITH ONE LEG HE 'D STILL BE NO
GOOD . $
TOO MANY L'S NOT ENOUGH  T'S . $
01 HERE 'S TEA , WHERE 'S DUCHESS ? $
02 UPSTAIRS . $
04 YOU CALL HER DUCHESS ? $
02 SUSAN ? $
YES , OCCASIONALLY . $
IT 'S A FAMILY NICKNAME . $
01 TEA ? $
04 THANK YOU . $
01 < ( POURS ) > $
NURSERY TEA TODAY , SITTING AT THE TABLE . $
UNLESS YOU 'D RATHER HAVE GROWN-UP TEA . $
< ( THEY SIT AT THE TABLE . ) > $
04 NO , THIS IS FINE . $
01 MILKY , BARK ? $
02 < ( COLDLY ) > $
TEA , PLEASE , DEBORAH . $
WITH A LITTLE MILK AND NO SUGAR . $
01 < ( ABASHED ) > $
I 'M SORRY , MARK . $
< ( SHE POURS OUT A CUP FOR HIM . ) > $
02 < ( PICKS IT UP AND GOES TO THE SOFA ) > $
NO NEED TO SIT AT THE TABLE , BUTLER . $
NOT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO . $
04 THAT 'S QUITE ALL RIGHT . $
01 BUN ? $
03 < ( COMES DOWNSTAIRS . $
AS SHE DOES SO SHE GESTURES IMPERIOUSLY TOWARDS THE SUITCASE
S IN THE HALL ) > $
MARK , YOU MIGHT TAKE THESE UP BEFORE YOU START GOBBLING CAK
E . $
#33 $
01 < ( OFFERING THE PLATE ) > $
BUN ? $
04 < ( HALF RISING ) > $
LET ME TAKE SOMETHING . $
03 NO WHY SHOULD YOU ? $
MARK WILL DO IT . $
MARK . $
04 < ( TO DEBORAH ) > $
THIS IS A CHARMING COTTAGE . $
01 BUN ? $
< ( HE TAKES ONE . ) > $
02 WHERE PRECISELY ARE WE ALL GOING TO SLEEP ? $
01 < ( LOOKS UP AT HIM ) > $
IN OUR LITTLE BEDS . $
02 WHICH ROOMS ? $
01 ME IN MY ROOM , YOU IN THE OTHER ROOM AND ... $
02 QUITE . $
TWO ROOMS ONLY . $
01 ME AND DUCHESS IN MY ROOM ... $
04 IN YOUR BED ? $
01 NO , IT 'S TOO SMALL . $
04 THE OTHER BED 'S THE ONLY ONE THAT TAKES TWO . $
01 MARK IN MY ROOM , US IN THE OTHER ROOM . $
03 AND GREGORY ? $
01 < ( LOOKS AT HIM IN DISMAY ) > $
ME IN MY ROOM ... YOU AND MARK AND ... $
02 IT WON'T HOLD THREE . $
01 ME IN MARK'S BED , HIM IN MY BED . $
YOU IN ... $
04 IT MIGHT BE BEST IF I WENT TO A HOTEL . $
03 NOBODY GOES TO HOTELS . $
02 OF COURSE IN A WAY HE IS ... $
03 MARK ! $
I KNOW WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY . $
DON'T SAY IT . $
REMEMBER THE SACRED LAWS OF . $
01 HOSPITALITY . $
OH GOODNESS YES . $
BUTTER ON YOUR BUN , AND JAM . $
< ( SHE THRUSTS THEM AT HIM . ) > $
02 WHERE DO WE SLEEP ? $
03 THERE 'S NO NEED TO GET SO WORKED UP OVER IT . $
01 ONE OF US COULD HAVE A BATH ALL NIGHT . $
03 ONE OF US COULD SLEEP DOWN HERE . $
< ( SHE INDICATES THE SOFA . ) > $
PERFECTLY SIMPLE . $
01 ME IN MY ROOM , YOU IN THE OTHER ROOM , MARK DOWN HERE .
$
THAT 'S IT . $
02 THANK YOU . $
04 DO LET ME SLEEP DOWN HERE . $
03 NO NO NO NO NO . $
YOU WOULDN'T FEEL AT HOME . $
#34 $
01 ME DOWN HERE, THEM IN THE OTHER ROOM AND YOU IN MY ROOM !
 $
02 NO . $
04 I REALLY DO THINK PERHAPS A HOTEL . $
02 I SEE NO REASON WHY NOT . $
03 WELL I DO . $
GREGORY ISN'T NOBODY . $
VERY SOON HE 'LL BE YOUR BROTHER-IN-LAW . $
02 MINE ? $
03 AND DEBORAH'S . $
04 < ( SWALLOWING A PIECE OF BUN ) > $
I ... ER ... SORRY , I HAVE ASKED YOUR SISTER TO MARRY ME AN
D SHE 'S ACCEPTED . $
< ( A LONG AND ASTOUNDED PAUSE ) > $
03 THAT 'S WHY WE 'RE HERE . $
02 BUT ... $
03 WHAT , MARK ? $
02 BUT IT 'S UNHEARD OF THAT NOBODY ... $
03 SHUT UP . $
01 OH CAN I BE A BRIDESMAID ? $
03 IT WILL BE A QUIET WEDDING . $
01 I 'LL BE A VERY QUIET BRIDESMAID ... LIKE A MOUSE . $
04 WE RATHER THOUGHT OF GOING TO A REGISTRY OFFICE . $
01 BUT A PARTY AFTERWARDS AND A CAKE . $
04 WELL ... $
03 YES , CERTAINLY A CAKE . $
GREGORY , WE MUST HAVE A CAKE . $
01 HOW LOVELY . $
AND OF COURSE IT QUITE SOLVES HOW WE SLEEP . $
02 IN WHAT WAY ? $
01 THEM IN THE OTHER ROOM , YOU IN MY ROOM . $
ME DOWN HERE . $
03 NO , DEBORAH . $
02 WON'T DO . $
01 BUT WHY NOT ? $
MARRIED PEOPLE OFTEN SLEEP TOGETHER . $
03 WE 'RE NOT MARRIED YET . $
01 OH BUT AS GOOD AS , SURELY . $
< ( SUSAN GLANCES AT MARK . ) > $
02 YOU GIRLS SHARE THE BIG ROOM , BUTLER IN DEBORAH'S ROOM .
 $
I 'LL DOSS DOWN HERE . $
THAT 'S SETTLED . $
01 DUCHESS KICKS , CAN'T I SLEEP WITH YOU ? $
02 NO ! $
#35 $
03 COME ON , DEEBOLA , LET 'S WASH UP TEA . $
< ( SHE STARTS COLLECTING THE TEA THINGS TOGETHER . ) > $
04 < ( STANDS ) > $
I THINK PERHAPS I 'LL WASH MY HANDS . $
01 YOU KNOW WHERE , YES YOU DO KNOW WHERE . $
< ( HE GOES OFF INTO THE HALL AND THROUGH THE DOOR . ) > $
01 < ( STARTS AFTER HIM AS IT SHUTS ) > $
OH ... $
03 DEBORAH ! $
01 IT 'S ONLY THAT IF HE REALLY DOES WANT TO WASH HIS HANDS
THERE ISN'T A TOWEL . $
03 THEN FIND ONE . $
01 < ( GOES UPSTAIRS ) > $
TELL HIM OR HE 'LL WONDER . $
03 MARK ... $
02 YOU 'RE GOING TO MARRY HIM . $
03 NO BUT AFTER ALL , BARK , IT IS THE DOWNSTAIRS . $
PLEASE . $
02 < ( MAKES NO COMMENT BUT GOES TO THE DOOR ) > $
BUTLER , THERE IS NO TOWEL IN THERE . $
< ( HE MOVES DOWN AGAIN . ) > $
03 TELL HIM THERE 'S ONE COMING . $
02 < ( RETURNS TO THE DOOR ) > $
BUTLER , THERE 'S ONE COMING . $
03 YOU MIGHT CALL HIM GREGORY . $
02 WHY ? $
03 FRIENDLY . $
02 AS FAR AS I 'M CONCERNED HE 'S NOBODY . $
03 PIG , I TOLD YOU , DID'T YOU LISTEN ? $
TAKE A FLANNEL TO YOUR EARS . $
02 ANYHOW NOT THE MOMENT TO USE A MAN'S CHRISTIAN NAME FOR T
HE FIRST TIME . $
03 OH ETIQUETTE IN THE FAMILY , REALLY , BARK , HOW REFEENED
 . $
02 THERE ARE DECENCIES . $
03 AND OH MY GOD THERE 'S DEEBOLA . $
I DON'T KWOW WHAT SHE 'LL SAY NEXT . $
SOMEONE SHOULD TELL GREGORY . $
02 WHY ? $
03 I WOULDN'T WANT HIM TO THINK SHE WAS ... WELL , ODD IN AN
Y WAY . $
01 < ( COMES CLATTERING DOWN THE STAIRS WITH A FACE-TOWEL .
$
SHE GOES TO THE DOOR , BENDS DOWN AND STARTS TO SHOVE THE TO
WEL UNDER IT . $
SHE CALLS OUT THROUGH THE DOOR ) > $
LOOK AT YOUR FEET ! $
03 DEBORAH ! $
< ( THE DOOR OPENS . $
GREGORY LOOKS DOWN AT DEBORAH . ) > $
04 WHAT ? $
#36 $
01 < ( WITHOUT LOOKING UP ) > $
LOOK AT YOUR FEET . $
OH , THERE THEY ARE . $
< ( SHE LOOKS UP , STANDS UP . ) > $
TOWEL . $
04 THANK YOU . $
< ( HE TAKES THE TOWEL AND RETIRES . ) > $
01 < ( TURNS AND COMES DOWNSTAGE ) > $
HIS HANDS WERE WET . $
OH AND TEA 'S STILL HERE . $
< ( SHE PICKS UP THE TRAY AND CARRIES IT OFF . $
SUSAN FOLLOWS WITH THE TEAPOT . ) > $
#37
HE LIFTS THE RECEIVER AND DIALS ) > $
WILSON ? $
SOLSTICE HERE . $
ANYTHING NEW ? $
... WELL IN THAT CASE YOU 'D BETTER START ONLOADING A FEW IN
DUSTRIALS ON MONDAY , SAY B.P.O. WESTMACOTT , VAN DER LING ,
 HUME AND SANDERSON , THAT SORT OF THING ... $
NO , WE 'LL HANG ON TO THE PREFERENCE FOR A BIT ... $
< ( GREGORY COMES OUT OF THE WASH-PLACE AND DOWN INTO THE RO
OM . ) > $
02 ... AND WE 'D BETTER HAVE A LOOK AT THE GILTS . $
I 'LL BE IN BEFORE LUNCH ON MONDAY . $
'BYE . $
< ( HE PUTS DOWN THE RECEIVER AND MOVES BACK TO THE CENTRE O
F THE ROOM . ) > $
SO YOU 'RE INTENDING TO MARRY SUSAN . $
04 YES , WE WERE GOING TO TELL YOU LATER , BUT AS IT HAPPENE
D ... $
02 YES . $
MM ... DEBORAH . $
MY SISTER DEBORAH . $
SHE 'S THE YOUNGEST . $
04 SUSAN TOLD ME . $
02 DID SHE ? $
04 AND SHE 'S THE ELDEST . $
02 HER , ME , DEBORAH . $
SHE WAS ONLY A CHILD WHEN THE ACCIDENT HAPPENED . $
MERE ... $
04 IS SHE ALL THAT MUCH YOUNGER ? $
0I FOUR YEARS BETWEEN US . $
04 SO SHE WAS TWENTY-TWO . $
02 YES . $
< ( HE CALCULATES . ) > $
TWENTY-TWO . $
BUT NOT SOPHISTICATED . $
YOU UNDERSTAND ME ? $
A YOUNG TWENTY-TWO . $
VERY YOUNG . $
OUR PARENTS FELT THERE WAS PLENTY OF TIME , THAT WE SHOULD M
ATURE SLOWLY . $
04 LIKE TREES . $
02 < ( LOOKS AT HIM ) > $
SOME TREES . $
NOT OTHERS . $
04 OR WINE . $
02 WINE ? $
04 OF A GOOD YEAR . $
02 TREES ARE MORE ... $
04 APPOSITE ? $
02 YES . $
OF COURSE IT KEPT US CLOSER THAN MANY FAMILIES . $
YOU KNOW , SOME OF THEM RUSHED OFF DANCING , GOD KNOWS WHAT
, BUT WE PREFERRED TO STAY AT HOME . $
#37 $
04 I 'M GLAD . $
OTHERWISE SUSAN MIGHT HAVE MARRIED SOMEONE ELSE . $
< ( MARK NODS VAGUELY , CHIN IN HAND . ) > $
04 I WAS AN ONLY CHILD . $
02 IT DID MEAN ONE THING . $
< ( PAUSE ) > $
INNOCENCE . $
< ( GREGORY NODS , INTELLIGENTLY HE HOPES . ) > $
02 INNOCENCE . $
04 I CAN SEE THAT . $
02 IN DEBORAH ? $
04 NO , IN GENERAL . $
02 IN DEBORAH PARTICULARLY . $
THERE WERE SOME THINGS MUMMY AND DADDY WOULD HAVE TOLD HER W
HICH THEY DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO TELL . $
04 AND NOBODY ELSE HAS ? $
02 IT 'S NOT THE SORT OF THING ONE DISCUSSES WITH ONE'S SIST
ER . $
04 BEING AN ONLY CHILD ... $
02 YOU NATURALLY WOULDN'T KNOW . $
BUT THERE IT IS . $
04 BUT SURELY SHE MUST HAVE READ THINGS . $
02 SHE NEVER READS ANYTHING MODERN . $
NEITHER DO I . $
04 THE NEWSPAPERS ... ? $
02 INNOCENCE IS ITS OWN SAFEGUARD THERE . $
SHE THINKS INTIMACY MEANS ... WELL , INTIMACY . $
I 'M ONLY TELLING YOU THIS SO THAT YOU 'LL UNDERSTAND . $
04 THANK YOU . $
02 IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW YOU MIGHT THINK ANYTHING . $
04 OH , I 'D ... $
02 YES ? $
04 NATURALLY I 'D ASSUME THAT THERE WAS A REASON . $
0I BUT YOU 'D WONDER . $
04 PERHAPS WONDER , YES . $
02 NOW YOU NEED WONDER NO MORE . $
04 IT 'S VERY PLEASANT TO BE WITH A FAMILY . $
QUITE A NEW EXPERIENCE FOR ME . $
YOU KNOW HOW IT IS ... OR NO I SUPPOSE YOU DON'T BUT HOWEVER
 FRIENDLY YOU ARE WITH FRIENDS , IT 'S NOT THE SAME . $
THERE 'S ALWAYS A HINT OF RESERVE , A TOUCH OF POLITENESS .
$
02 YOU INTEND TO BE RUDE TO US ? $
04 OH NO , BUT ... $
< ( SUSAN ENTERS WITH A CLOTH . $
SHE DRAPES IT OVER MARK'S HEAD . ) > $
#38 $
03 DRY , YOU LAZY BEAST . $
02 < ( TAKES THE CLOTH OFF HIS HEAD . $
HE GRASPS IT TAUT IN BOTH HANDS AND RISES TO PURSUE SUSAN [
) > $
PERCY THE STRANGLER . $
03 < ( GIVES A SHRIEK ) > $
NO ! $
MERCY PERCY ! $
PERCY MERCY ! $
< ( HE PURSUES HER ROUND THE ROOM . ) > $
01 < ( COMES OUT OF THE KITCHEN ) > $
OOH ! $
COME AND STRANGLE ME . $
< ( MARK STOPS CHASING SUSAN AND MAKES FOR DEBORAH . ) > $
01 < ( PULLS HER SWEATER UP OVER HER FACE ) > $
LOOK ! $
NO NECK . $
02 < ( SNARLS ) > $
BAFFLED . $
< ( HE GOES OFF INTO THE KITCHEN FOLLOWED BY DEBORAH . ) > $
04 THAT 'S EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN . $
03 < ( SITTING ) > $
THEY 'RE IDIOTIC . $
TAKE NO NOTICE . $
04 OH , BUT I WAS TELLING YOUR BROTHER ... $
03 MARK OR BARK . $
04 ... MARK , JUST NOW HOW MUCH I ENJOYED IT ALL . $
03 I DON'T THINK I WANT YOU TO . $
04 BUT I MUST . $
IT 'S PART OF YOU . $
03 WHY DID YOU ASK ME TO MARRY YOU ? $
04 < ( WITH AN INEFFECTIVE GESTURE ) > $
YOU KNOW . $
03 I WANT TO HEAR IT . $
04 WHY DID YOU SAY YES ? $
03 FOR THE SAME REASON , GREGORY . $
04 THERE , THEN . $
03 THAT 'S NICE , BUT YOU KNOW I 'M NOT ASKING YOU TO MARRY
MY FAMILY . $
04 BUT I WANT TO . $
03 ALL OF US ? $
04 YES . $
YOU MOST OF COURSE , BUT THEM TOO . $
A FAMILY . $
THERE WAS ONE DOWN THE STREET WHEN I WAS YOUNG . $
I USED TO PLAY WITH THEM BUT IF I DID ANYTHING THEY DIDN'T L
IKE OR SOMETIMES FOR NO REASON AT ALL THEY 'D SHUT THEMSELVE
S INTO THEIR COAL-SHED AND NOT COME OUT UNTIL I 'D GONE AWAY
 . $
03 DIRTY LITTLE THINGS . $
04 FILTHY , AND I HAD TO GO HOME CLEAN . $
03 AND EVER SINCE YOU 'VE WANTED TO BE DIRTY . $
04 YES . $
NO . $
I MEAN , THAT 'S WHY , WELL PARTLY WHY I DO WANT TO MARRY YO
UR FAMILY . $
03 BOTH DEBORAH AND MARK ? $
#39 $
04 YES . $
03 THEN YOU 'D BETTER PROPOSE TO THEM . $
04 WHAT ? $
03 AS A JOKE . $
04 NOT ... ER ... MARK . $
03 WHY NOT ? $
04 ONE DOESN'T . $
03 IN FUN . $
04 EVEN SO . $
03 BARK ! $
< ( DEBORAH ENTERS . ) > $
01 WHAT ? $
03 I CALLED BARK . $
04 I COULD DO IT TO HER . $
01 WHAT ? $
03 NOT SUCH A GOOD JOKE . $
04 OH I DON'T KNOW . $
MISS SOLSTICE ... $
03 ON YOUR KNEES ! $
04 < ( KNEELS IN FRONT OF DEBORAH ) > $
MISS SOLSTICE ... $
01 DO CALL ME DEBORAH . $
03 I DID SAY YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO . $
04 THAT 'S WHY I WANT TO . $
DEBORAH , WILL YOU ACCEPT MY HAND IN MARRIAGE ? $
< ( MARK ENTERS . ) > $
04 < ( TURNS TO HIM ) > $ $
AND YOU , MR SOLSTICE ? $
02 EH ? $
04 MY HAND IN MARRIAGE . $
03 < ( SHRIEKS WITH LAUGHTER ) > $
OH , BARK , YOU DO LOOK FUNNY . $
01 BUT AREN'T YOU MARRYING DUCHESS ? $
03 HE WANTS TO MARRY US ALL BECAUSE HE LIKES US SO MUCH . $
01 HOW LOVELY . $
04 < ( STANDS AND DUSTS HIS TROUSERS ) > $
THANK YOU . $
01 NOW NOBODY NEED SLEEP DOWN HERE . $
02 WHY NOT ? $
YOU IN MY BED AND THREE OF US IN THE BIG BED . $
03 DEEBOLA , NO ! $
01 YOU CAN FIT THREE IN EASY . $
I OFTEN SHARED WITH MUMMY AND DADDY . $
#40 $
03 BUT NO . $
01 WE 'RE ALL GETTING MARRIED , WHERE 'S THE HARM ? $
03 WE 'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED IN THAT SENSE . $
YOU 'RE NOT , ANYWAY . $
01 I AM , I AM , I AM , I AM ! $
03 IT WAS A JOKE . $
01 AND NOT A JOKE WHEN HE ASKED YOU ? $
03 THAT WAS DIFFERENT , THAT WAS IN PRIVATE . $
01 YOU 'RE A SELFISH BEAST , A PIG , A SWINE , A COW . $
JUST BECAUSE YOU 'RE THE ELDEST YOU THINK YOU CAN HAVE EVERY
THING AND YOU CAN'T . $
02 DEBORAH ! $
01 YES SHE DOES AND YOU 'RE AS BAD , YOU SUCK UP TO HER AND
AGREE AND I HATE YOU ALL ! $
< ( SHE GOES TO THE STAIRS . ) > $
I 'M JOLLY WELL GOING TO SLEEP IN THE BIG BED AND ANYONE WHO
 DOESN'T LIKE IT CAN SIT UP ALL NIGHT FOR ALL I CARE , YOU H
ORRID THINGS . $
< ( SOBBING , SHE HAS GONE UPSTAIRS . $
WE CAN HEAR HER BANGING ABOUT . ) > $
04 I 'M MOST TERRIBLY SORRY . $
I HAD NO IDEA ... $
03 OH SHE IS A FOOL ! $
04 SUSAN , I REALLY DO THINK I 'D BETTER GO TO A HOTEL . $
03 NO YOU WILL NOT . $
HE MUSTN'T , MUST HE , MARK ? $
02 WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST ? $
03 TALK TO DEBORAH . $
02 NO USE IN THIS MOOD . $
SHE BANGS ABOUT AND DOESN'T LISTEN . $
03 SHE 'LL CALM DOWN . $
02 NOT BEFORE BED-TIME AND THAT WILL BE TOO LATE . $
03 SICKENING LITTLE BEAST . $
02 BUT NOT SURPRISING . $
03 DON'T YOU TAKE HER SIDE . $
BE HELPFUL . $
02 ALL RIGHT , MY DEAR DUCHESS , I WILL . $
NOW THAT YOU HAVE DECIDED TO MARRY MR ... $
04 GREGORY , PLEASE . $
02 GREG-ORY , NOW THAT YOU HAVE DECIDED THAT , YOU HAVE INTR
ODUCED A NEW FACTOR INTO OUR LIVES . $
04 NOT A COMMON FACTOR , I HOPE . $
< ( MARK LOOKS AT HIM . ) > $
04 A JOKE . $
03 WHERE 'S YOUR SENSE OF HUMOUR , MARK ? $
HA HA . $
02 THE FACTOR BEING ... WELL , YOU KNOW WHAT . $
#41 $
03 BUT DEBORAH KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT ALL THAT . $
02 SHE MUST BE TOLD . $
03 DO YOU THINK SO ? $
02 OTHERWISE YOU 'LL HAVE THIS ALL THE TIME . $
03 OH . $
< ( SHE PONDERS ON IT . ) > $
IS IT REALLY NECESSARY ? $
02 ABSOLUTELY . $
03 WILL YOU TELL HER ? $
02 GOOD HEAVENS NO , I MEAN , WELL ME , HER BROTHER , A MAN
. $
IT SIMPLY WOULD NOT DO . $
IF SHE WAS A BOY THAT MIGHT BE DIFFERENT . $
03 IT WOULDN'T BE HAPPENING . $
02 YOUR JOB , DUCHESS . $
03 < ( LOOKS HOPEFULLY AT GREGORY , THAN AWAY ) > $
NO , I SUPPOSE NOT . $
WHAT DOES ONE SAY ? $
02 THE SIMPLE FACTS . $
03 OH LIFE . $
OH DEAR . $
< ( SHE RISES . ) > $
ALL OF THEM ? $
02 ALL THE IMPORTANT ONES . $
03 < ( TO GREGORY ) > $
YOU WOULDN'T COME WITH ME ? $
02 THAT WOULDN'T DO AT ALL . $
03 < ( GOES RELUCTANTLY TO THE STAIRS , THEN PAUSES ) > $
WHERE SHOULD I START ? $
02 BIRTH . $
03 I RATHER THOUGHT OF ENDING THERE . $
< ( SUSAN BEGINS TO CLIMB THE STAIRS . $
SHE GOES OFF . $
MARK SITS . $
GREGORY CLEARS HIS THROAT . ) > $
02 MM ? $
04 I WAS WONDERING ... $
02 YOU HAVE HAD AN EXPLANATION . $
04 NO , ABOUT THE THREE OF YOU . $
SO CLOSE A FAMILY . $
I WOULD HAVE EXPECTED YOU TO LIVE TOGETHER . $
02 GIRLS ARE EXCEEDINGLY QUARRELSOME . $
04 ARE THEY ? $
02 OF COURSE YOU WOULDN'T KNOW . $
THEY ARE . $
THEY CRITICIZE BUT WILL NOT IN TURN TAKE CRITICISM . $
WHEN MUMMY AND DADDY WERE ALIVE OF COURSE THEY BOUND US TOGE
THER . $
04 THEY DID ? $
02 NOT LITERALLY YOU FOOL . $
04 LOOK HERE ... $
02 I THOUGHT YOU WISHED TO BE ONE OF US . $
#42 $
04 WELL YES ... $
02 THEN YOU MUST EXPECT TO BE CALLED A FOOL WHEN YOU ARE A F
OOL . $
YOU MAY CALL ME A FOOL WHEN I 'M A FOOL . $
04 THANKS . $
02 WHICH IS SELDOM , IF EVER . $
04 IN WHAT WAY THEN DID THEY BIND YOU TOGETHER ? $
02 IN OPPOSITION TO THEM . $
THERE WE WERE UP IN THE NURSERY AND THERE THEY WERE DOWN IN
HE DRAWING-ROOM  DRINKING GIN AND TALKING ABOUT POLITICS AND
 THIS AND THAT . $
04 NOT SURELY WHEN YOU GREW UP . $
02 WE HAD ARM-CHAIRS IN THE NURSERY THEN . $
GOLF-CLUBS , TENNIS RACKETS , GRAMOPHONES .... $
DO YOU PLAY GOLF ? $
04 AFTER A FASHION . $
02 I CAN NEVER FIND ANYONE TO PLAY WITH THESE DAYS . $
GO TO MY CLUB , NOBODY THERE AT ALL AND THE WHOLE DAMNED PLA
CE OVERCROWDED . $
04 THERE ARE SOME GOOD COURSES ROUND HERE . $
02 AND DOWN IN YOUR PART OF THE WORLD . $
04 AND IN KENT . $
02 OH YES . $
AND IN KENT . $
04 WOULD YOU CARE FOR A GAME SOME TIME ? $
02 NO , I 'VE PRETTY WELL GIVEN IT UP . $
04 SUSAN DOESN'T PLAY . $
02 NO . $
04 DOES DEBORAH ? $
02 PLAY GOLF ? $
NO . $
04 AS A MATTER OF FACT I HARDLY PLAY AT ALL NOW EITHER . $
02 NO TIME . $
04 ONE SHOULD , OF COURSE . $
FIND THE TIME I MEAN . $
EXERCISE . $
02 WELL ... $
04 GOOD FOR ONE . $
02 I WALK . $
04 FAR ? $
02 OVER A STILE , ACROSS A FIELD , ROUND A WOOD AND BACK . $
ONE AND THREE-QUARTER MILES ON MY PEDOMETER . $
04 PEDOMETER ? $
02 EVERY DAY . $
04 YOU HAVE A PEDOMETER ? $
#43 $
02 < ( TAKES THE INSTRUMENT FROM HIS BREAST POCKET . $
HE LOOKS AT IT AND HANDS IT TO GREGORY ) > $
SEVEN MILES SINCE GETTING UP . $
04 < ( STUDYING IT ) > $ $
FASCINATING . $
02 SOMETIMES I RESET IT DAILY , OTHER TIMES WEEKLY , OR ON O
CCASIONS FOR A SPECIFIC JOURNEY . $
04 AND IT WORKS ? $
02 WELL , OF COURSE . $
THERE WOULD OTHERWISE BE LITTLE POINT IN HAVING IT . $
04 I 'VE ALWAYS WANTED ONE . $
02 THEY CAN BE PURCHASED . $
< ( HE HOLDS OUT HIS HAND . ) > $
< ( GREGORY RISES TO TAKE IT ACROSS TO HIM . ) > $
02 NO ! $
04 WHAT ? $
02 DON'T MOVE , MAN . $
YOU HAVE . $
OH DAMNATION . $
< ( HE TAKES THE PEDOMETER AND LOOKS AT IT . ) > $
NOW I SHALL HAVE TO SUBSTRACT THREE STEPS WHEN I GO TO BED T
ONIGHT . $
ALL BECAUSE OF YOU . $
04 I 'M SORRY . $
02 RATHER LATE TO BE SORRY WHEN THE HARM 'S DONE . $
04 BUT IS IT DONE ? $
02 < ( MUTELY MARK SHOWS HIM THE INSTRUMENT . ) > $
04 AFTER ALL YOU TOOK AS MANY STEPS WITHOUT IT AFTER YOU 'D
GIVEN IT TO ME . $
02 I DID ? $
WHY SO I MUST HAVE , YES . $
OF COURSE IT MEANS COUNTING YOUR STEPS AS MINE . $
04 SURELY THAT WILL MAKE NO DIFFERENCE TO THE PEDOMETER . $
02 INDEED IT MIGHT . $
I HAVE , YOU SEE , SET THIS TO MY STRIDE , A DIFFICULT ADJUS
TMENT . $
YOUR STRIDE MAY BE ENTIRELY DIFFERENT . $
04 WE 'RE MUCH THE SAME HEIGHT . $
02 LEGS ARE THE POINT , LENGTH OF LEG FROM HIP TO ANKLE . $
< ( HE STANDS . ) > $
LET 'S COMPARE . $
< ( GREGORY RISES . $
THEY STAND SIDE BY SIDE . ) > $
04 WHAT NOW ? $
02 YOUR LEFT LEG , MY RIGHT . $
< ( THEY RAISE THE ADJACENT LEGS . ) > $
04 MUCH THE SAME . $
02 CHANGE PLACES . $
< ( THEY DO SO . ) > $
02 MY LEFT LEG , YOUR RIGHT . $
#44 $
< ( THEY RAISE THEIR LEGS AGAIN . ) > $
04 OF COURSE IT IS NOT A TRUE COMPARISON . $
02 WHY NOT ? $
04 IT SHOULD BE RIGHT TO RIGHT AND LEFT TO LEFT . $
02 NO , BUT LOOK HERE ... $
04 IF WE STOOD ONE BEHIND THE OTHER ... $
02 LOOK HERE ! $
BE QUIET ! $
04 SORRY . $
02 NOW THEN , THINK . $
SUPPOSE THAT YOUR LEFT LEG IS SHORTER THAN MY LEFT LEG BUT I
S THE SAME LENGTH AS MY RIGHT LEG AND FURTHERMORE IMAGINE TH
AT YOUR RIGHT LEG IS LONGER THAN MY RIGHT LEG BUT EXACTLY TH
E SAME AS MY LEFT LEG ... DO YOU GRANT THAT ? $
04 < ( AFTER CONSIDERATION ) > $ $
... YES . $
02 THEN THERE WE ARE , NO PROBLEM WHATSOEVER . $
< ( SUDDENLY FROM UPSTAIRS  THERE COMES THE SOUND OF LAUGHTE
R . $
THEY LOOK UP , SURPRISED . $
DEBORAH COMES DOWN THE STAIRS , HELPLESS WITH MIRTH . $
SUSAN FOLLOWS HER . ) > $
01 BARK ... OH BARK , WHAT DO YOU THINK DUCHESS HAS TOLD ME
? $
02 I KNOW WHAT SHE 'S TOLD YOU . $
01 YOU MEAN ... IT REALLY IS TRUE . $
< ( SHE DISSOLVES INTO GIGGLES AGAIN . ) > $
03 < ( TO THE OTHERS ) > $
HYSTERICS . $
01 NO ... NO , DUCHESS , BUT ... OH IT HURTS ... I MUST STOP
 LAUGHING BUT I CAN'T . $
< ( SHE BURIES HER HEAD IN A CUSHION . ) > $
02 PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER . $
< ( TO SUSAN ) > $
WHAT HAPPENED ? $
03 THIS DID . $
THE MOMENT I EXPLAINED . $
01 < ( RECOVERING A LITTLE ) > $
OH ... OH - OH DEAR . $
02 WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU ? $
01 NOTHING , BARK , BUT DUCHESS TOLD ME AND ... AND IT 'S SO
 FUNNY . $
< ( HELPLESS LAUGHTER AGAIN . ) > $
02 DEBORAH ! $
01 PEOPLE WE KNOW . $
DO THEY ? $
< ( TO GREGORY ) > $
YOU ? $
< ( TO MARK ) > $
HAVE YOU ? $
03 OH DO SHUT UP . $
01 YOU , DUCHESS ? $
OH NO I REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE IT , BUT I DO . $
YOU AND HIM . $
< ( INDICATING GREGORY ) > $
< ( SHE DISSOLVES INTO EVEN MORE HELPLESS LAUGHTER . ) > $
AND EVERYBODY ! $
#45 $
03 < ( TO MARK ) > $
A BUCKET OF WATER . $
< ( MARK MOVES TOWARDS THE KITCHEN . ) > $
01 NO ... NO . $
IT 'S ALL RIGHT , BARK . $
I 'M PERFECTLY UNDER CONTROL . $
03 LET 'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE . $
< ( FROM TIME TO TIME LITTLE SPURTS AND GURGLES OF LAUGHTER
ESCAPE FROM DEBORAH BUT IN THE MAIN SHE MANAGES TO CONTROL H
ERSELF . ) > $
04 < ( TOO LOUDLY ) > $
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT GOLF . $
02 NO . $
ABOUT  MY PEDOMETER . $
03 IF YOU TOOK YOUR PEDOMETER ON THE GOLF COURSE IT WOULD DO
 WELL . $
02 IN WHAT WAY ? $
03 IT WOULD MAKE A HIGH SCORE . $
02 A LOW SCORE IS WHAT YOU AIM FOR IN GOLF . $
04 THE FEWER STROKES TO THE HOLE THE BETTER . $
< ( DEBORAH GIVES A GREAT GUFFAW AND BURIES HER HEAD AGAIN I
N THE CUSHION . ) > $
02 WHAT SORT OF HOUSE DO YOU LIVE IN ? $
04 A FLAT . $
03 ON THE THIRD FLOOR . $
04 QUITE A CLIMB . $
03 BUT LIGHT AND AIRY . $
04 LIVING-ROOM , KITCHEN ... $
03 BATHROOM AND BEDROOM . $
< ( AGAIN A GREAT HOWL FROM DEBORAH . ) > $
02 DEBORAH LEAVE THE ROOM . $
01 I SHAN'T . $
02 THEN I WILL . $
< ( HE STUMPS OFF UPSTAIRS ANGRILY . ) > $
03 NOW HE WON'T COME DOWN AGAIN UNTIL YOU 'VE SAID YOU 'RE S
ORRY . $
01 WELL I 'M NOT . $
YOU SHOULDN'T BE SO FUNNY . $
03 WE ARE NOT BEING FUNNY . $
WE ARE TRYING TO BEHAVE LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE . $
01 OH IT 'S NO GOOD ... NOT NOW YOU 'VE TOLD ME HOW NORMAL P
EOPLE BEHAVE . $
< ( SHE AGAIN DISSOLVES INTO LAUGHTER AND RISES FROM THE SOF
A . ) > $
I SHALL BE SICK . $
< ( SHE RUNS OFF INTO THE KITCHEN . ) > $
03 SHE ALWAYS IS WHEN SHE LAUGHS TOO MUCH . $
04 PERHAPS IT WILL DO HER GOOD . $
#46 $
03 IT 'S DREADFUL . $
I 'D NO IDEA SHE 'D BE LIKE THIS . $
04 WHAT DID YOU SORT OF SAY TO HER ? $
03 I TOLD HER THE TRUTH . $
MORE OR LESS EVERYTHING . $
04 IN SO MANY WORDS ? $
03 WELL OF COURSE I HAD TO USE WORDS . $
04 I SUPPOSE YOU WERE RATHER STRAIGHTFORWARD . $
03 WHY ? $
04 YOU 'RE A STRAIGHTFORWARD SORT OF PERSON . $
THAT 'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU . $
AND I EXPECT YOU WERE STRAIGHTFORWARD WITH HER . $
03 ACTUALLY I JUST SHUT MY EYES AND WENT AHEAD . $
04 GENERALLY PEOPLE SORT OF DRESS IT UP A BIT . $
03 HOW ? $
04 TALK ABOUT LOVE AND SO ON . $
03 I CAN'T DO THAT . $
04 CAN'T YOU ? $
03 NO , IT 'S THE LOVE PART THAT I FIND FUNNY . $
04 I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN . $
03 IF YOU 'D PROPOSED TO ME KNEELING LIKE YOU DID TO DEBORAH
 I 'D HAVE LAUGHED LIKE ANYTHING . $
04 I VERY NEARLY DID . $
03 NONSENSE , YOU JUST GROWLED INTO YOUR TEACUP . $
I HAD TO ASK YOU TWICE WHAT YOU 'D SAID . $
04 I 'D HAVE KNELT IF YOU 'D SAID NO . $
03 I 'M GLAD I DIDN'T . $
04 ARE YOU SURE ? $
03 OH YES . $
WELL IT 'S INTERESTING BEING ENGAGED , ISN'T IT ? $
04 MORE THAN THAT TO ME . $
03 NO DON'T GET INTENSE , WE CAN'T HAVE INTENSITY IN THE FAM
ILY . $
I KNOW ! $
OH I DO KNOW AND I 'M REALLY RATHER CLEVER TO THINK OF IT .
$
YOU MUST TALK TO DEEBOLA . $
04 BUT YOU HAVE . $
03 YOU MUST TELL HER WHAT I MISSED OUT . $
YOU KNOW - LOVE ... THE ROMANTIC SIDE OF IT ALL . $
04 OH , I SAY , SUSAN . $
AFTER ALL I HARDLY KNOW HER . $
03 BUT IT 'S BECAUSE WE DO THAT IT 'S SO DIFFICULT . $
< ( SHE RISES AND GOES TO THE KITCHEN DOOR . ) > $
DEEBOLA ! $
< ( DEBORAH APPEARS . ) > $
01 I 'M ALL RIGHT NOW . $
#47 $
03 GREGORY HAS SOMETHING TO SAY TO YOU . $
< ( SHE GOES QUICKLY TOWARDS THE STAIRS . ) > $
I 'LL PLAY A GAME OF DOMINOES WITH BARK . $
01 THEY 'RE IN MY TOY CUPBOARD . $
< ( SUSAN GOES . $
GREGORY STANDS FACING DEBORAH . ) > $
01 < ( THROWS HERSELF DOWN ON THE SOFA ) > $
I WASN'T REALLY SICK AT ALL . $
I NEVER AM , OR ONLY DRIBBLE . $
< ( GREGORY SITS . ) > $
01 ALL THE SAME I THINK I 'M GOING TO BE EVERY TIME . $
ISN'T THAT FUNNY ? $
NO , I MUSTN'T SAY FUNNY OR I 'LL THINK OF WHAT DUCHESS SAID
 AND START ALL OVER AGAIN . $
TELL ME SOMETHING FRIGHTFULLY SAD . $
04 SUSAN 'S VERY STRAIGHTFORWARD YOU KNOW . $
01 I DON'T CALL THAT SAD . $
04 VERY DOWNRIGHT . $
01 THAT 'S A PECULIAR WORD . $
WHY SHOULD DOWNRIGHT MEAN DOWNRIGHT ? $
RIGHT DOWN WOULD BE QUITE DIFFERENT . $
DOWNRIGHT , DOWNRIGHT , IT SHOULDN'T MEAN ANYTHING . $
04 SHE PUTS THINGS IN A BALD SORT OF WAY . $
01 BALD . $
04 I MEAN SHE DOESN'T DRESS THEM UP . $
01 OH DON'T , YOU 'LL START ME OFF AGAIN . $
04 NO , YOU MUSTN'T LAUGH , PLEASE ... $
IT ISN'T REALLY FUNNY . $
01 WHY NOT ? $
04 BECAUSE IF IT WAS EVERYBODY 'D LAUGH . $
01 THEY DO . $
I UNDERSTAND ALL SORTS OF JOKES I 'VE NEVER UNDERSTOOD BEFOR
E . $
04 THOSE ARE STUPID , NASTY JOKES . $
PEOPLE LIKE US DON'T LAUGH AT THEM . $
01 SOMEBODY MUST . $
04 THEY 'RE MADE BY PEOPLE WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT LOVE IS
 THE MOST ... ER TENDER AND SACRED RELATIONSHIP THERE IS . $
01 OH ? $
04 THINK OF THE FAIRY STORIES YOU USED TO READ . $
HOW KNIGHTS RODE OUT AND FOUGHT DRAGONS FOR PRINCESSES ... I
N TOWERS . $
01 THE ONLY FAIRY STORIES I LIKE ARE ABOUT TALKING ANIMALS .
 $
04 WELL , THINK OF ROMEO AND JULIET . $
01 THAT 'S TERRIBLY SAD . $
04 THERE , NOW KEEP THINKING OF THAT . $
01 SHAKESPEARE WAS AN ABSOLUTE BEAST . $
#48 $
04 THAT WAS LOVE . $
01 HE COULD EASILY HAVE BROUGHT THAT MONK ALONG BEFORE ROMEO
 SO THAT WHEN ROMEO ARRIVED HE COULD HAVE EXPLAINED TO HIM A
LL ABOUT THE POTION AND JULIET WOULD HAVE WOKEN UP AND THEY
'D HAVE LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER , OR HE COULD HAVE HAD THE
MONK WRITE A LETTER SAYING WHAT HE 'D DONE ; BUT HE DIDN'T ,
 HE WANTED THEM TO DIE AND I HATE HIM . $
04 AH , BUT THE POINT IS THEY REALLY LOVED EACH OTHER . $
01 YOU MEAN LOVE IS SAD . $
04 SOMETIMES . $
AND OF COURSE BEAUTIFUL . $
01 THEN WHY IS IT SO TERRIBLY RUDE ? $
04 YOU MUSTN'T THINK OF IT LIKE THAT . $
01 IT 'S FAR RUDER THAN WHAT MARK WROTE ON THE ROOF . $
04 ON THE ROOF ? $
01 ON THE SLATES AT HOME WHEN WE WERE UP THERE ONE DAY WHEN
WE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN . $
I EXPECT IT 'S STILL THERE . $
WHAT A FUNNY THING . $
WE LAUGHED FOR WEEKS . $
BUT THIS IS MUCH , MUCH RUDER . $
HAS HE KNOWN ABOUT IT ALL ALONG ? $
04 I IMAGINE SO . $
01 AND DUCHESS ? $
04 FOR SOME YEARS . $
01 AND YOU AND EVERYBODY ? $
WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME ? $
04 THEY DIDN'T LIKE TO . $
01 MEAN OF THEM . $
IF I KNEW A JOKE I 'D SHARE IT WITH EVERYONE . $
04 BUT , DEBORAH , IT 'S NOT A JOKE . $
01 ARE YOU ANGRY WITH ME ? $
04 NO . $
01 NOBODY CALLS ME DEBORAH UNLESS THEY ARE . $
DEEBOLA . $
THAT 'S WHAT I USED TO CALL MYSELF . $
04 AND SUSAN IS DUCHESS . $
01 BECAUSE SHE 'S SO GRAND AND BOSSY . $
CALL ME DEEBOLA . $
04 WELL ... ER ... DEEBOLA . $
01 LOVELY . $
< ( SHE MOVES TO SIT AT HIS FEET . ) > $
WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU SAID ? $
04 SUSAN WAS DUCHESS . $
01 BEFORE THAT . $
04 THAT IT WASN'T A JOKE . $
01 < ( GIGGLES ) > $
SAY IT AGAIN , THE WAY YOU SAID IT . $
#49 $
04 I SAID , BUT ... $
01 AND YOU 'RE NOT ANGRY WITH ME . $
04 DEEBOLA , IT ... $
< ( HE SNIGGERS . ) > $
01 THERE ! $
THERE YOU SEE IT IS A JOKE WHEN YOU SAY MY NAME PROPERLY . $
I KNEW IT WAS ! $
< ( SHE HAMMERS ON HIS KNEE . ) > $
AND THOSE PRINCESSES AND THEIR PRINCES . $
THINK OF THEM ! $
AND ROMEO AND JULIET . $
WHY THERE 'S A BIT WHERE HE 'S IN HER BEDROOM AND ... $
< ( SHE ROARS WITH LAUGHTER AND GOES ACROSS TO THE BOOKSHELF
 WHERE SHE TAKES DOWN THE COLLECTED WORKS . ) > $
OH , IT 'S MARVELLOUS NOW I KNOW IT 'S A FUNNY PLAY . $
< ( SHE IS TURNING OVER THE PAGES AS SHE RETURNS TO HIM . )
> $
READ IT TO ME , DO . $
I LOVE BEING READ TO . $
04 REALLY I 'D RATHER NOT . $
01 PLEASE . $
OH PLEASE . $
DO IT FOR DEEBOLA . $
< ( SHE IS AGAIN KNEELING AT HIS FEET , NOW HOLDING ONE OF H
IS HANDS . ) > $
04 I 'M NO GOOD AT READING POETRY . $
01 THEN LET 'S DO OWL-EYES . $
04 OWL-WHAT ? $
01 EYES . $
YOU KNOW . $
04 I DON'T . $
01 WHERE DID YOU GROW UP ? $
04 ALONE . $
01 POOR YOU . $
LIKE THIS . $
NOSE TO NOSE , FOREHEAD TO FOREHEAD . $
04 < ( OBEYS ) > $
HOW ESKIMOES KISS . $
01 SHUT YOUR EYES ... $
NOW WHEN I SAY ' OWL-EYES ' OPEN THEM . $
OWL-EYES ! $
< ( THEY OPEN THEIR EYES . ) > $
01 THERE ! $
SEE ? $
ONE BIG EYE . $
< ( SLOWLY AND DELIBERATELY HE KISSES HER . $
AFTER A MOMENT SHE BREAKS AWAY , NOT VIOLENTLY . $
SHE IS FASCINATED AND APPALLED . ) > $
01 THAT WAS ... $
04 WHAT ? $
01 < ( AS THOUGH WORKING IT OUT ) > $ $
THAT WAS WHY IT ISN'T REALLY FUNNY AT ALL . $
< ( GREGORY WOULD KISS HER AGAIN BUT MARK APPEARS ON THE STA
IRS . $
GREGORY GIVES A GUILTY START AND WOULD DISENGAGE HIMSELF . $
MARK FOR A MOMENT STANDS LOOKING AT THEM . ) > $
01 CAN WE DO IT AGAIN ? $
< ( GREGORY LOOKS TOWARDS MARK . $
DEBORAH FOLLOWS HIS GAZE . ) > $
#50 $
02 < ( COMES DOWN TOWARDS THEM . $
HE LOOKS OMINOUS . $
HE DOES NOT SPEAK UNTIL HE IS CLOSE TO DEBORAH ) > $
WHERE IS THE DOUBLE BLANK ? $
01 THERE ISN'T ONE . $
02 BUT WE 'RE PLAYING . $
01 THERE STILL ISN'T ONE . $
02 YOU TOLD US WHERE THE DOMINOES WERE . $
01 I NEVER SAID THEY WERE ALL THERE . $
02 < ( SHARPLY ) > $
YOU NEVER SAID THEY WEREN'T . $
03 < ( COMES DOWN THE STAIRS ) > $
WHERE IS IT ? $
02 NOWHERE . $
SHE 'S LOST IT . $
01 YOU CAN PLAY WITHOUT . $
I DO . $
02 ALONE . $
03 QUITE DIFFERENT . $
REALLY YOU MIGHT HAVE SOME SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY , DEBORAH
 . $
02 WE 'D BEGUN TO PLAY ! $
01 IT 'S ONLY A GAME . $
DON'T GET SO BATEY . $
03 DON'T USE CHILDISH EXPRESSIONS . $
01 WELL , HE 'S BEING CHILDISH . $
02 IF YOU BEGIN A GAME YOU MUST GO ON TO THE END . $
04 UNLESS YOU DECLARE .$
< ( THEY HAD FORGOTTEN HE WAS THERE . $
THEY LOOK AT HIM . ) > $
02 ANOTHER JOKE ? $
01 < ( BRIGHTLY ) > $
UNLESS YOU DECLARE . $
04 BAD LIGHT , RAIN , LOST BALL . $
02 < ( TO DEBORAH ) > $
OF COURSE YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS . $
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS ? $
01 OH DON'T SAY EVERYTHING TWICE . $
02 IT MEANS THAT WHEN YOU PLAY ALONE , YOU CHEAT . $
01 NO . $
03 IF THERE 'S NO DOUBLE BLANK YOU MUST . $
01 ONLY HONEST CHEATING . $
NOT TO MAKE ONE HAND BEAT THE OTHER . $
PERHAPS TO FINISH BEFORE TEA OR BATH-TIME . $
02 THERE , YOU SEE . $
YOU ADMIT THAT A GAME MUST FINISH . $
SO WHERE IS THE DOUBLE BLANK ? $
01 I 'VE LOST IT . $
I TOLD YOU . $
02 NO YOU DIDN'T . $
I TOLD SUSAN THAT , ASSUMING THAT YOU WOULD BE HONEST ENOUGH
NOT TO LIE . $
GOD KNOWS WHY . $
01 THAT RHYMES . $
#51 $
02 BE SERIOUS . $
04 < ( RISES ) > $
I 'VE LEFT MY HAT IN THE CAR . $
< ( HE SMILES NERVOUSLY , GOES TO THE HALL DOOR AND OUT . $
THE SCENE CONTINUES WHILE HE GOES . ) > $
01 WHY SHOULD I BE SERIOUS ? $
03 BECAUSE YOU 'RE THE YOUNGEST AND YOU CAN JOLLY WELL DO WH
AT YOU 'RE TOLD . $
02 NOW WHERE 'S THE DOUBLE BLANK ? $
< ( DEBORAH IS SILENT . ) > $
03 SHE KNOWS . $
02 OF COURSE SHE KNOWS . $
01 I SHAN'T SAY . $
03 THERE ! $
01 I SHAN'T SAY , BECAUSE I THINK YOU 'RE BEING SILLY ABOUT
IT . $
02 SO IT 'S SILLY TO WANT TO DO THINGS PROPERLY ? $
01 SILLY TO MAKE A FUSS ABOUT A GAME . $
02 WHAT IS IT NOT SILLY TO MAKE A FUSS ABOUT ? $
01 < ( WILDLY ) > $
FOOD ! $
03 ALL RIGHT , YOU WON'T HAVE ANY FOOD , NOT TILL YOU 'VE TO
LD US . $
01 THIS IS MY HOUSE . $
I KNOW WHERE THE FOOD IS , AND YOU DON'T . $
02 TWIST HER ARM . SUSAN . $
03 SHE 'LL SCREAM . $
01 LIKE HELL . $
02 THAT SETTLES IT . $
PUNISHMENT . $
01 OH RUBBISHMENT . $
03 FOR SWEARING . $
02 AND CHEATING , LYING , SPOILING THE GAME . $
01 YOU 'VE HAD A BOOK . $
02 THERE ARE OTHER PUNISHMENTS . $
03 GIVE HER PUNISHMENT B . $
< ( THERE IS A PAUSE , DEBORAH DEFIANT , MARK CURIOUSLY RELU
CTANT . ) > $
03 GO ON , MARK . $
DO THAT . $
02 I WILL IF YOU DON'T SAY YOU 'RE SORRY . $
< ( DEBORAH TOSSES HER HEAD . ) > $
03 AND TELL US WHERE THE DOUBLE BLANK IS . $
< ( DEBORAH SMILES ANNOYINGLY . ) > $
SHE 'S NOT SORRY AND SHE WON'T TELL US . $
02 < ( TO DEBORAH ) > $ $
WELL ? $
#52 $
01 GO ON THEN . $
02 GO ON WITH PUNISHMENT B ? $
01 YES . $
02 YOU MEAN THAT ? $
01 < ( LESS SURELY ) > $
YES . $
02 YOU REALLY MEAN THAT ? $
01 WHAT IS IT ? $
02 AH . $
03 NOW SHE 'S CLIMBING DOWN . $
02 YOU DON'T GET TOLD WHAT IT IS UNTIL IT HAPPENS . $
01 YES I DO . $
WHAT IS IT ? $
02 PUNISHMENT B . $
01 BUT WHAT ? $
03 TELL HER , MARK . $
GO ON . $
02 IT 'S SOMETHING HORRIBLE . $
03 WHAT THING ? $
02 SHE 'LL SCREAM WHEN SHE HEARS IT . $
01 NO I WON'T . $
02 SCREAM AND CRY FOR MERCY . $
01 PERCY . $
02 < ( GOING UP TO HER ) > $
STOP MAKING JOKES OR I 'LL HIT YOU ! $
03 MARK ! $
YOU DON'T HIT GIRLS . $
02 SHE DESERVES IT THOUGH . $
AND SHE 'LL GET IT . $
01 BUT WHAT IS IT ? $
WHAT HAPPENS ? $
I BET IT 'S SOMETHING SILLY . $
03 DEBORAH ! $
02 THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS . $
01 < ( STANDS VERY STILL . $
SHE IS FRIGHTENED BUT BRAVE ) > $
YES ? $
02 LOCKED IN THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS . $
AND THEN ... $
01 I KNOW . $
DADDY-LONG-LEGS . $
THAT IS SILLY . $
02 THOUSANDS OF THEM , MILLIONS OF THEM IN THERE WITH YOU .
$
01 STUPID . $
02 WHEN YOU CRY OUT THEY FLY INTO YOUR MOUTH UNDER YOUR TONG
UE AND UP INTO YOUR NOSTRILS . $
YOU CRUNCH THEM WITH YOU TEETH . $
01 HA HA HA . $
02 AND FIRST YOU HAVE YOUR EARS SYRINGED . $
01 < ( SKIPPING UP TO THE STAIRS ) > $
THERE 'S NO CUPBOARD UNDER MY STAIRS . $
#53 $
03 MARK ... $
01 I PICKED A HOUSE WITHOUT ONE . $
03 IS THAT REALLY PUNISHMENT B ? $
01 THE DADDY-LONG-LEGS ARE DEAD . $
03 IS IT , MARK ? $
01 AND YOU HAVEN'T A SYRINGE . $
03 IT 'S NOT A REAL PUNISHMENT AT ALL . $
01 ONLY A MADE-UP TORTURE . $
03 WHAT A SELL . $
01 AND ALL THESE YEARS AND YEARS I 'VE DONE WHAT YOU SAID BE
CAUSE OF IT . $
YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS AND THERE WASN'T A PROPER PUNISHME
NT B AT ALL . $
I COULD HAVE DONE ALL THE THINGS I WANTED TO LIKE WEARING SH
ORTS FOR TENNIS AND BUYING SHERBET FOUNTAINS AND HE COULDN'T
 HAVE DONE ANYTHING TO ME AT ALL . $
03 HE THREATENED ME WITH IT ONCE . $
WHEN I WANTED TO GO TO A DANCE AND HE DIDN'T . $
02 YOU NEEDN'T THINK THAT 'S THE ONLY PUNISHMENT . $
03 IT 'S THE ONLY ONE YOU 'VE BEEN ABLE TO THINK UP . $
01 AND IT 'S FEEBLE , FEEBLER , FEEBLEST ! $
02 < ( PUTS HIS HAND TO HIS HEART AND SITS ) > $
I DON'T FEEL WELL . $
03 OH PISH POSH PIDDLESTICKS . $
01 DUCHESS , THAT 'S RUDE . $
03 HE 'S FAKING IT UP . $
02 < ( LOOKS UP AT DEBORAH ) > $ $
WHY AREN'T YOU LAUGHING ? $
01 NOTHING WAS FUNNY . $
02 YOU WOULD HAVE FALLEN OVER LAUGHING TEN MINUTES AGO . $
03 AND IT WAS QUITE FUNNY . $
01 WELL I ... SUPPOSE I ... DIDN'T QUITE GET IT . $
02 YES YOU DID . $
03 DEEBOLA , YOU DID . $
02 WHAT HAS CHANGED YOU ? $
01 WELL OF COURSE GREGORY DID EXPLAIN THINGS TO ME . $
02 INDEED ? $
03 I ASKED HIM TO . $
< ( SUDDENLY ) > $
MY GOD ! $
01 AND I TAUGHT HIM OWL-EYES . $
03 GOD-MY-GOD , AN AWFUL THOUGHT . $
HE HAS NO HAT . $
02 HE 'S GONE TO GET IT . $
03 AN EXCUSE . $
HE HAD TO GET OUT . $
YOU FRIGHTENED HIM AWAY . $
#54 $
QUARRELLING AND SHOUTING IN FRONT OF HIM , DON'T CONTRADICT
ME , THAT 'S WHAT 'S DONE IT . $
I KNOW IT IS . $
HE 'S GONE AND I 'LL LOSE HIM . $
< ( SUSAN RUNS UP TO THE DOOR AND TURNING BACK TOWARDS THEM
, SPITS OUT HER LAST WORDS . ) > $
I 'LL KILL YOU IF I DO . $
< ( GREGORY ENTERS . ) > $
04 I MUST HAVE LEFT MY HAT IN BATH . $
< ( A MOMENT'S PAUSE ) > $
01 < ( GAILY ) > $
HANGING ON THE HOT TAP . $
03 OH , DEEBOLA , SILLY JOKE . $
< ( THE ATMOSPHERE IS NOW GAY EXCEPT FOR MARK . ) > $
02 WHO IN WHOSE ROOM NOW ? $
03 WE 'LL SOON SORT THAT OUT . $
LET 'S TAKE THE LUGGAGE UPSTAIRS . $
COME ON , GREGORY . $
HEAVE-HO . $
< ( THEY PICK UP SUITCASES AND START FOR STAIRS . ) > $
03 YOU CAN HAVE A PROPER BATH IF YOU WANT TO , THOUGH I EXPE
CT ITS FULL OF DEEBOLA'S THINGS . $
01 DON'T SIT ON MY DUCK . $
< ( THEY HAVE GONE UPSTAIRS . $
DEBORAH HAS MOVED UP SLIGHTLY TO TALK TO THEM . ) > $
01 < ( TURNS DOWN NOW TOWARDS MARK ) > $
ALL THE OTHER THINGS ARE SQUASHY . $
02 ARE THEY ? $
01 AND SQUEAK WHEN YOU SIT ON THEM . $
02 DO THEY ? $
01 DON'T BE SO ANGRY . $
02 HOW ANGRY ? $
01 SILENTLY FURIOUS . $
OH YOU ARE MARK , I KNOW YOU ARE , BUT PLEASE NOT . $
I FEEL SO MARVELLOUS . $
QUITE SUDDENLY I 'VE BEEN GIVEN TWO PRESENTS . $
< ( SHE HAS COME DOWN TO HIM . $
SHE SITS ON THE ARM OF THE SOFA , SWINGING HER LEGS . ) > $
JUST LIKE CHRISTMAS . $
ONE FROM DUCHESS THAT MAKES EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD LOOK DIF
FERENT , AND ONE FROM YOU THAT MAKES YOU LOOK DIFFERENT . $
02 YES ? $
01 I 'VE ALWAYS BEEN AFRAID OF YOU AND NOW I 'M NOT , SO YOU
 'RE A DIFFERENT PERSON AND MUCH MUCH NICER AND SO AM I . $
02 AND SUSAN ? $
01 OH SHE 'S THE SAME OLD DUCHESS . $
02 SHE IS . $
#55 $
01 THOUGH I SUPPOSE GREGORY MIGHT ALTER HER . $
02 IF HE 'S GIVEN A CHANCE TO . $
< ( HE IS AMIABLE NOW , PLEASED WITH HIMSELF . ) > $
WHAT DID DUCHESS SAY SHE 'D DO TO ANYONE WHO TOOK HIM AWAY ?
 $
01 KILL THEM . $
02 AND SHE MIGHT , YOU KNOW . $
01 WHEN SHE 'S ANGRY SHE 'LL DO ANYTHING . $
02 < ( LOOKS AT HER THROUGH A LONG PAUSE ) > $
' CAN WE DO IT AGAIN ? ' $
01 WHAT ? $
02 DO IT AGAIN ? $
01 < ( UNDERSTANDS ) > $
DO WHAT ? $
02 OWL-EYES OF COURSE . $
< ( HE GOES UP TO HER AND PUTS HIS FOREHEAD AGAINST HERS . )
 > $
YOU SEE , THERE 'S STILL A PUNISHMENT . $
< CURTAIN > $
#56 $
< ACT TWO > $
< THE EVENING MEAL IS DRAWING PEACEFULLY TO ITS CLOSE . > $
03 GREGORY HAS A TELEVISION SET . $
01 ANYONE MORE JUNKET ? $
03 GREGORY HAS ... $
02 < ( CUTTING IN ) > $
A TELEVISION SET YES . $
NO MORE JUNKET . $
03 HE WATCHES THE PROGRAMMES ON IT . $
01 WE 'VE NEVER KNOWN ANYONE WITH A TELEVISION SET . $
04 IT 'S NOT REALLY MINE . $
I RENT IT . $
02 < ( TURNS IN HIS SEAT AND LOOKS AT HIM IN SILENCE BEFORE
HE SPEAKS . $
INCREDULOUSLY ) > $
YOU DO WHAT ? $
04 RENT IT . $
02 YOU MEAN YOU PAY SOME SORT OF LANDLORD FOR IT ? $
04 MONTHLY . $
03 IT 'S MUCH THE BEST WAY . $
02 HOW DO YOU KNOW ? $
03 GREGORY EXPLAINED  . $
02 AH . $
01 ANYONE MORE SQUASH ? $
03 NOT ME . $
02 < ( TO GREGORY ) > $
A GLASS OF PORT ? $
< ( DEBORAH MAKES URGENT SIGNS TO MARK . $
' NO PORT ' SHE MOUTHS . ) > $
04 THANK YOU . $
03 SOME OF THE PROGRAMMES ARE QUITE GOOD . $
02 YOU WATCH ? $
03 GREGORY TELLS ME ABOUT THEM . $
04 OH QUITE GOOD YES , NOT BAD AT ALL , THOUGH A LOT ARE RUB
BISH , NOT THAT I WATCH MUCH MYSELF . $
02 < ( LOOKING AT DEBORAH WHO IS MAKING YET MORE URGENT SIGN
S ) > $
WHAT ? $
01 NOBO PORTIBOR . $
02 OH . $
THAT 'S ALL RIGHT . $
I 'VE BROUGHT SOME . $
< ( TO GREGORY ) > $
YOU DON'T INSIST ON VINTAGE ? $
04 WHAT ? $
OH NO . $
< ( MARK RISES AND GOES TO HIS SUITCASE WHICH IS IN THE HALL
 . $
HE OPENS IT AND TAKES OUT A BOTTLE WHILE THE OTHERS TALK . )
 > $
#57 $
03 < ( TO DEBORAH ) > $
SHALLBA WEEBEE CLEARIBO UP ? $
01 CLEARIBEER UPITY , DUCHESS . $
TALKIBAW PROPERTOP . $
03 < ( TO GREGORY ) > $
YOU MUST THINK WE 'RE MAD . *  $
01 POTTIBOT . $
04 A LANGUAGE ? $
01 YES , THAT OTHER PEOPLE CAN'T UNDERSTAND . $
03 WE MUST TEACH IT TO HIM . $
01 A-BAY , BEEBEE , SEESEE , DEEDEE ... $
03 EASY ! $
< ( THEY LAUGH AS MARK RETURNS TO THE TABLE WITH THE BOTTLE
, HAVING TAKEN TWO GLASSES AND A CORKSCREW FROM THE CORNER C
UPBOARD . $
HE OPENS THE BOTTLE . ) > $
03 CUMBUM ONTON . $
LEAVIBEE THE MENITEN . $
< ( SHE AND DEBORAH CLEAR THE PLATES , ETC. , ON TO TRAYS AN
D TAKE THEM OFF . ) > $
01 BOSSITOSSY DUCHYSUCH . $
02 < ( POURS FOR HIMSELF , SNIFFS AT HIS GLASS AND PASSES TH
E BOTTLE TO GREGORY ) > $
I THINK YOU 'LL FIND THIS SOUND . $
04 THANKIBANKS . $
02 < ( MARK FIXES HIM WITH A STONY LOOK . $
THE WOMEN HAVE GONE . ) > $
04 < ( LAUGHS NERVOUSLY ) > $
AS A MATTER OF FACT I INVENTED A LANGUAGE WHEN I WAS A CHILD
 . $
PUT GUB AFTER EVERYTHING . $
IT DIDN'T REALLY WORK BUT OF COURSE THERE WAS NOBODY TO TALK
 IT TO SO IT DIDN'T MATTER . $
02 WHERE DID YOU MEET MY SISTER ? $
04 IN THE BATH . $
02 YES . $
< ( A FROSTY SMILE ) > $
YES . $
BUT WHERE ? $
04 THERE INDEED . $
THE ROMAN BATH . $
02 THAT IS WHAT YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID . $
YOU ARE A SOLICITOR ? $
04 YES . $
02 WITH A FIRM ? $
04 YES . $
02 IN BATH ? $
04 YES . $
02 A PARTNER ? $
04 YES . $
02 FORGIVE THESE QUESTIONS . $
04 OH YES . $
02 WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE FIRM ? $
#58 $
04 FARSON , BENNETT AND PRENDERGAST . $
02 IN BATH ? $
04 JUST OUTSIDE , ACTUALLY . $
02 IN A FARMHOUSE ? $
04 NO . $
WHY A FARMHOUSE ? $
02 OUTSIDE IS THE COUNTRY . $
IN THE COUNTRY ARE FARMS . $
04 < ( INDICATING THE ROOM ) > $ $
THIS ISN'T A FARMHOUSE . $
02 NO . $
04 BUT IN THE COUNTRY . $
< ( DEBORAH COMES TIPTOEING IN . ) > $
01 EXCUSIBOOZE MEEMEE. $
< ( SHE GOES TO A CUPBOARD IN THE HALL AND TAKES OUT A CLEAN
DRYING-UP CLOTH . $
SHE WAVES IT AT THEM AS SHE GOES OFF AGAIN . $
NEITHER MAN SPEAKS . ) > $
02 IN THE COUNTRY . $
YES . $
04 A MOST ATTRACTIVE COTTAGE . $
02 IT WAS A FARMHOUSE ONCE . $
04 YES OF COURSE , MOST OF THESE OLD PLACES WERE . $
02 AND YOUR OFFICE ? $
WAS THAT ? $
04 NO . $
NO . $
IT WAS A GENTLEMAN'S RESIDENCE . $
02 IN A PARK ? $
04 NO . $
A FRONT GARDEN , THEN THE ROAD . $
02 A SMALL GENTLEMAN . $
04 YOU SEEM ... $
02 WHAT ? $
04 NOTHING ... $
SORRY . $
DIDN'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT . $
02 I AM INTERESTED IN THIS OFFICE OF YOURS . $
OUT IN THE COUNTRY THERE ONE IS , WALKING ALONG ... $
04 CLOCKING UP THE MILES . $
02 < ( LOOKS AT HIM , PUZZLED , THEN UNDERSTANDS ) > $
ON THE PEDOMETER , AH YES , IF ME ... AND ONE SEES A HOUSE I
N THE DISTANCE . $
A SMALL GENTLEMAN'S RESIDENCE , ONE SAYS TO ONESELF , BUT WH
EN ONE REACHES IT , WHAT A SURPRISE , NO SMALL GENTLEMAN BUT
 MESSRS ... ER ? $
04 FARSON , BENNETT AND PRENDERGAST . $
02 AND A SIGN ON THE WINDOW ' SOLICITORS , COMMISSIONERS OF
OATHS ' . $
04 I 'M AFRAID IT 'S NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL . $
02 ANOTHER GLASS AND TELL ME ABOUT THE GARDEN . $
04 IT 'S A SUBURB OF BATH . $
#59 $
02 A LONG PATH TO THE DOOR ? $
04 THERE ARE LOTS OF OTHER HOUSES , QUITE A PLACE . $
02 A BRICK PATH , YES . $
A LAWN EACH SIDE AND TWO ROUND FLOWER-BEDS . $
AN APPLE-TREE , A WEEPING-WILLOW ... I KNOW THE VERY PLACE .
 $
04 THERE 'S A BUS-STOP OUTSIDE . $
02 A CHURCH WITH A NORMAN FONT . $
04 A MARKET-GARDEN JUST BEYOND . $
A ROW OF SHOPS ... $
02 WHAT SORT ? $
04 TOBACCONIST , GROCER , BUTCHER , IRONMONGER . $
ALL NEW . $
THE PLACE WAS DEVELOPED IN RECENT YEARS . $
02 WHAT IS ITS NAME ? $
04 NO NAME . $
02 NO NAME ? $
04 NOT YET . $
02 WHAT DO YOU ASK FOR ON THE BUS ? $
04 TERMINUS . $
02 SURELY YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT . $
04 I HAVE A CAR . $
02 TRY AGAIN . $
04 A MOTOR-CAR . $
02 AGAIN , AGAIN . $
DAMMIT YOU 'VE INVENTED A WHOLE COMMUNITY , IRONMONGERS , CH
URCHES , BUSES , MARKET-GARDENS , SURELY YOU CAN RISE TO A N
AME . $
04 THE CHURCH WAS YOURS . $
02 YES , THAT 'S RIGHT . $
ONE MUST BE FAIR . $
04 AND THE FONT , AND THE GARDEN . $
02 YOU STARTED THE GARDEN . $
A FRONT GARDEN . $
I ONLY FURNISHED IT . $
IF I KNEW THE NAME OF THE PLACE I COULD LOOK UP THE TELEPHON
E NUMBER . $
OR DO YOU NOT HAVE A TELEPHONE ? $
DO YOU SIGNAL TO YOUR CLIENTS WITH FLAGS ? $
04 I HAVE NO CLIENTS . $
< ( A LONG PAUSE ) > $
02 GO ON , SAY IT . $
04 SAY WHAT ? $
02 ' IT 'S A FAIR COP , GUVNOR . $
I 'LL COME QUIETLY . ' $
04 I 'VE NOTHING TO SAY . $
02 I HAVE . $
YOU ARE AN IMPOSTOR . $
04 AND YOU ARE A BULLY . $
#60 $
02 I 'M MERELY ATTEMPTING TO PROTECT MY SISTER . $
04 THEN LET 'S TELL HER . $
02 I SHALL DO SO . $
< ( A PAUSE . $
GREGORY INDICATES THAT SHE IS IN THE KITCHEN . ) > $
02 IN MY OWN TIME . $
04 NOW . $
02 MY OWN TIME IS NOT OF NECESSITY NOW . $
MY OWN TIME IS THE TIME I CHOOSE . $
THIS YEAR , NEXT YEAR , SOMETIME , EVEN PERHAPS AND POSSIBLY
 , NEVER . $
04 I CHOOSE NOW . $
SHE 'LL FIND OUT SOONER OR LATER AND I WANT TO GET IT OVER .
 $
< ( HE RISES AND GOES TO THE KITCHEN DOOR . $
MARK MAKES A SUDDEN MOVEMENT AS THOUGH HE WOULD RESTRAIN HIM
 , THEN SITS BACK , SULKING . ) > $
04 SUSAN . $
03 < ( OFF ) > $
HULLO ? $
04 OH , SUSAN ... $
< ( DEBORAH ENTERS . ) > $
01 WHAT IS IT ? $
04 I WANTED SUSAN . $
01 < ( CALLING OFF ) > $
HE WANTS YOU . $
03 < ( OFF ) > $
WHO 'S HE ? $
04 ME . $
03 WHO 'S ME ? $
01 GREGORY . $
03 < ( OFF ) > $
WELL I 'M HERE . $
04 COULD SHE COME IN HERE ? $
01 I DON'T KNOW . $
< ( CALLING ) > $
COULD YOU ? $
03 < ( OFF ) > $
COULD I WHAT ? $
01 COME IN HERE . $
03 < ( OFF ) > $
WHY ? $
04 BECAUSE I 'VE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY . $
< ( SUSAN APPEARS . $
MARK HAS BEEN ENJOYING THIS . ) > $
03 WE 'VE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO DO . $
WHAT IS IT ? $
04 WELL , IT 'S THAT ... I 'D REALLY RATHER TELL YOU IN PRIV
ATE . $ LLY RATHER TELL YOU IN PRIVATE . $
01 OH NO , PLEASE . $
I DO LOVE A SECRET . $
LET 'S GUESS . $
IS IT ABOUT YOU ? $
04 YES , BUT ... $
03 NO , GREGORY , YES OR NO . $
NOTHING ELSE . $
#61 $
04 IT 'S NOT THE SORT OF THING FOR A GAME . $
03 YOUR TURN NOW , MARK . $
02 I KNOW THE ANSWER . $
01 < ( TO GREGORY ) > $
OH THEN YOU MUST SAY TO ALL OF US OR IT WOULD ONLY BE ME THA
T DIDN'T KNOW AND THAT WOULDN'T BE FAIR . $
03 DOES IT CONCERN ME ? $
04 YES . $
02 TWO . $
01 YOU AND SUSAN . $
IS IT ABOUT ... YOU KNOW WHAT ? $
02 CALL IT LOVE . $
NO . $
THREE . $
03 IS IT ABOUT BATH ? $
04 YES . $
02 FOUR . $
01 YOU AND SUSAN IN BATH . $
< ( SHE GIGGLES . ) > $
SOMETHING YOU DO IN BATH TOGETHER BUT NOT LOVE ? $
02 NO . $
FIVE . $
01 THAT WASN'T A QUESTION ! $
02 EVERY INCH A QUESTION . $
04 IT 'S SERIOUS ! $
03 SERIOUS ... $
WORK ? $
SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOUR WORK ? $
02 < ( APPLAUDS ) > $
SIX . $
01 SOMETHING TO DO WITH BEING A SOLICITOR ? $
02 NO ! $
03 BUT THAT IS YOUR WORK . $
02 NO . $
EIGHT . $
03 YOU TOLD ME YOU WERE . $
01 NOW WE HAVE TO FIND OUT WHAT HE REALLY IS . $
04 < ( LOUDLY ) > $
I 'M A SHOP ASSISTANT ! $
01 YOU 'VE SPOILT THE GAME . $
03 A SHOP ASSISTANT ? $
04 IN A GROCER'S SHOP . $
03 YOU DON'T TALK LIKE ONE . $
04 YOU NEVER SAY THAT WHEN I 'M SELLING YOU ALPHABET BISCUIT
S . $
03 DO YOU MEAN YOU SERVE ME ? $
04 NEARLY EVERY DAY . $
01 OH GREEDY DUCHESS . $
< ( MARK MOTIONS HER TO SILENCE . $
HE IS PLEASED WITH HIMSELF . ) > $
#62 $
03 BUT I 'VE NEVER SEEN YOU . $
04 OF COURSE NOT . $
I 'M BEHIND THE COUNTER . $
01 ONLY YOUR LOWER ... $
OOH . $
SORRY . $
04 ONE HALF BEHIND A COUNTER MEANS BOTH HALVES . $
< ( TO SUSAN ) > $
YOU TALK TO ME QUITE A LOT ABOUT THE WEATHER AND THE INTERNA
TIONAL SITUATION , BUT YOU 'VE NEVER SEEN OR HEARD ME , AT L
EAST YOU HADN'T TILL I FOLLOWED YOU TO THE BATHS ON MY HALF
DAY . $
03 AND DROPPED YOUR GUIDE-BOOK IN THE WATER AND BORROWED MY
UMBRELLA TO FISH IT OUT . $
02 AN OLD TRICK . $
01 BARK , HOW DID YOU GUESS ? $
02 WHEN HE SAID THAT HE RENTED HIS WATTD' YOUCALLIT . $
01 TELEVISION SET . $
02 THAT 'S WHEN I KNEW . $
NOBODY RENTS THINGS , THEREFORE HE MUST BE NOBODY , WHICH IS
 EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE TRIED TO TELL YOU ALL ALONG ONLY YOU WO
ULDN'T LISTEN , OH NO , NOT YOU . $
< ( SUSAN WANDERS AWAY FROM THEM , DEEP IN THOUGHT . ) > $
01 HE DIDN'T HAVE TO BE NOBODY , PEOPLE DO RENT THINGS . $
02 WHO ? $
01 WE RENTED HOUSES AT THE SEA-SIDE . $
TENBY , FRINTON , MEVAGISSEY . $
02 SEASIDE HOUSES , AH . $
01 ' THINGS ' , YOU SAID AND THINGS THEY ARE . $
I WAS RIGHT AND YOU WERE WRONG . $
02 ABOUT HIM ? $
< ( POINTING AT GREGORY ) > $
01 I ONLY SAID HE DIDN'T HAVE TO BE NOBODY . $
02 OF COURSE HE DID . $
YOU AND I KNOW THAT THERE 'S NOBODY LEFT BUT US . $
03 < ( TURNS TO FACE GREGORY ) > $
WHY A SOLICITOR ? $
04 YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE TAKEN TEA WITH A GROCER . $
03 BUT YOU DID'T SAY WHAT YOU WERE UNTIL AFTER TEA . $
04 I WAS TRYING TO DECIDE . $
01 WHAT TO BE ? $
04 YES . $
03 I 'D HAVE CHOSEN SOMETHING MUCH GRANDER IF I 'D BEEN CHOO
SING . $
02 A DUCHESS NO DOUBT . $
03 A JUDGE AT ANY RATE . $
04 I DIDN'T THINK YOU 'D BELIEVE ME IF I MADE IT TOO GRAND .
 $
#63 $
02 KNOWS HIS PLACE . $
01 PIG . $
03 AND THAT 'S ANOTHER THING , YOUR PLACE . $
WHEN YOU WERE IN YOUR PLACE I MEAN . $
02 BEHIND THE COUNTER . $
03 AFTER WE 'D MET . $
WHY DIDN'T I RECOGNIZE YOU ? $
04 BECAUSE YOU NEVER LOOKED AT ME . $
03 HOW VERY STRANGE . $
02 QUITE NATURAL . $
01 I THINK IT 'S SUPER . $
LIKE ONE OF THOSE STORIES WHERE A POOR GIRL IS KIND TO A TOA
D AND IT TURNS OUT TO BE A PRINCE . $
02 ONLY IN THIS CASE IT 'S THE RICH GIRL WHO 'S KIND TO A GR
OCER WHO TURNS OUT TO BE AN ADVENTURER AFTER HER MONEY . $
04 < ( TO SUSAN ) > $
CAN I PERSUADE YOU THAT I 'M NOT ? $
03 I DON'T REALLY CARE IF YOU ARE . $
02 SUSAN ! $
03 NO I DON'T . $
AS YOU SAID , MARK , THERE 'S NOBODY LEFT EXCEPT US AND I GE
T AWFULLY LONELY SOMETIMES . $
02 SO DO WE ALL , BUT WE HAVE TO PUT UP WITH IT . $
03 NOT YOU , MARK . $
YOU LIKE IT . $
BUT I DON'T ANY MORE . $
I THINK IT 'S ... $
02 YES ? $
03 I THINK IT 'S CHILDISH , YES IT IS . $
THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE EVERYWHERE AND IT 'S ONLY PRETENDING
TO SAY THERE AREN'T . $
01 BUT PRETENDING 'S THE NICEST THING OF ALL ! $
03 NOT TO GROWN-UPS . $
THEY THINK IT 'S SILLY . $
< ( TO GREGORY ) > $
DON'T YOU ? $
04 WELL I ... $
03 YES YOU DO , OF COURSE YOU DO , YOU MUST . $
< ( TO THE OTHERS ) > $
HE DOES . $
01 BUT IF WE DON'T PRETEND , WHAT SHALL WE DO ? $
03 GROW UP . $
< ( MARK GIVES A CONTEMPTUOUS SNORT . $
SHE TURNS ON HIM . ) > $
03 YES , MARK , THAT 'S WHAT I SAID : GROW UP AND STOP BEHAV
ING LIKE CHILDREN . $
ADMIT THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE , THAT WE SEE THEM EVERY DAY ,
BUY THINGS FROM THEM , SIT IN TRAINS WITH THEM , TELL THEM T
HE TIME AND LEND THEM OUR EVENING PAPERS . $
02 NOT ME . $
#64 $
03 WHEN THEY ASK . $
02 I TAKE GOOD CARE TO BE ASKED NOTHING - BY NOBODY . $
01 THAT MEANS YOU 'RE ASKED EVERYTHING BY EVERYBODY . $
< ( MARK LOOKS AT HER CRUSHINGLY . $
SHE DEFIES HIM . ) > $
01 YES IT DOES . $
TWO NEGATIVES MAKE A POSITIVE AND THAT 'S WHAT I 'M GOING TO
 BE FROM NOW ON . $
03 A DOUBLE NEGATIVE ? $
01 A POSITIVE . $
I DON'T CARE HOW . $
I SHALL SEE EVERYBODY AND TALK TO THEM AND ASK THEM HERE AND
 GO TO THEIR HOUSES . $
IT 'LL BE WONDERFUL . $
02 WHAT WILL YOU TALK TO THEM ABOUT ? $
01 OH EVERYTHING . $
IT 'S NO USE SNEERING AT ME . $
I DON'T EVEN MIND WHAT DUCHESS THINKS NOW . $
YOU WON'T BE OFFENDED , WILL YOU DUCHESS ? $
03 OF COURSE NOT . $
01 BECAUSE I DID MIND VERY MUCH , YOU BEING THE ELDEST , JUS
T AS I WAS AFRAID OF MARK BECAUSE OF HIS PUNISHMENTS , BUT N
OW THERE AREN'T ANY MORE PUNISHMENTS AND OLDEST AND YOUNGEST
 DOESN'T COUNT WHEN YOU 'RE REALLY GROWN UP . $
MARVELLOUS ! $
< ( SHE KICKS OFF HER SHOES . ) > $
03 DEBORAH , YOUR SHOES ! $
01 OH , I COULD TAKE OFF ALL MY CLOTHES ! $
02 NO YOU COULD NOT . $
01 YES I COULD . $
IT 'S MY HOUSE . $
03 NOW YOU 'RE BEING CHILDISH . $
01 AM I ? $
< ( TO GREGORY ) > $
AM I ? $
04 WELL IT 'S NOT USUAL . $
01 ALL THE SAME I 'D LIKE TO . $
IT WOULD MAKE ME FEEL FREE . $
03 BUT DARLING , YOU ARE FREE . $
01 ENTIRELY FREE . $
02 GO UP TO THE BATHROOM . $
THAT 'S THE PLACE FOR THAT SORT OF THING . $
01 NOT THE ONLY PLACE , MARK . $
LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE YOU TOLD ME THERE WERE PLACES IN LON
DON WHERE GIRLS UNDRESSED IN FRONT OF EVERYONE . $
< ( TO GREGORY ) > $
SORT OF RESTAURANTS . $
04 STRIP-TEASE . $
01 MARK 'S HAD ONE . $
HE TOLD ME . $
03 HAD ONE ? $
01 A STRIP-TEA . $
03 MARK ! $
#65 $
02 THERE , SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THE PROPER NAME , SHE 'S MA
KING IT ALL UP , SHE 'S A FOOL , A FOOL , A FOOL ! $
01 HE DID TELL ME . $
AT CHRISTMAS . $
03 OF COURSE HE DID , IT 'S NO USE PRETENDING , MARK . $
SHE WOULDN'T HAVE MADE IT UP . $
02 < ( TO DEBORAH ) > $ $
HAND ON THE BOOK AND HOPE TO DIE IF TOU TOLD . $
REMEMBER ? $
< ( DEBORAH LOOKS UNEASY . ) > $
03 FANCY USING THE BOOK FOR SMUT . $
02 REMEMBER ? $
01 THAT WAS WHEN WE WERE CHILDREN . $
NOW WE 'RE GROWN UP IT DOESN'T COUNT . $
02 < ( WITH CONTEMPT ) > $
YOU GROWN UP ! $
01 I 'M HAVING A JOLLY GROWN-UP CONVERSATION . $
03 NONSENSE . $
I 'VE NEVER HEARD ANYTHING SO INFANTILE . $
TAKING OFF ONE'S CLOTHES . $
REALLY , DEBORAH . $
01 IN THESE PLACES I BET THEY DON'T THINK IT 'S INFANTILE .
$
< ( TO GREGORY ) > $
DO THEY DO IT TO MUSIC ? $
04 I BELIEVE SO . $
I 'VE NEVER BEEN TO ONE . $
01 DO THEY , MARK ? $
02 LOST TO HONOUR . $
01 DO THEY ? $
02 LOST , THAT 'S YOU . $
TO HONOUR . $
01 I THINK I 'LL GET A JOB IN ONE . $
02 YOU COULDN'T . $
YOU 'RE TOO OLD AND YOUR BODY 'S TOO UGLY . $
01 < ( BEGINNING TO CRY ) > $ $
WHAT A BEASTLY , HORRID , PIGGISH THING TO SAY . $
03 NOT VERY NICE , MARK . $
02 THEY WANT YOUNG GIRLS . $
03 AND IT ISN'T TRUE ANYWAY . $
02 OH YES IT IS . $
01 IT IS ! $
IT IS ! $
I KNOW IT IS . $
AND WHO MADE ME TOO OLD SO THAT I WENT UGLY ? $
WHO WOULDN'T LET ME DO ANYTHING OR GO ANYWHERE OR SEE ANYONE
 ? $
WHO WAS THAT ? $
03 < ( TO GREGORY ) > $
TELL HER SHE 'S NOT UGLY . $
04 YOU 'RE NOT UGLY . $
REALLY NOT . $
01 < ( LOOKS AT HIM ) > $ $
REALLY ? $
04 AND MILES THE YOUNGEST HERE . $
#66 $
< ( MARK LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY . ) > $
03 < ( TURNS ON HIM ) > $
AND WHY YOU HAVE TO BE SO HORRID I REALLY DO NOT KNOW . $
LET 'S DO SOMETHING OR TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE . $
01 WHAT CAN WE DO ? $
03 ALL SORTS OF THINGS . $
01 WE MIGHT GET DRUNK . $
03 WHY ? $
01 IT 'S A GROWN-UP THING TO DO . $
03 NO IT IS NOT . $
IT 'S A VERY STUPID THING TO DO . $
04 WE COULD PLAY CARDS . $
02 DEBORAH CAN ONLY PLAY SNAP . $
01 I CAN PLAY BEGGAR-MY-NEIGHBOUR AND BEAT YOU ANY DAY . $
03 BRIDGE , WHY NOT BRIDGE ? $
THERE 'S FOUR OF US . $
AND DEBORAH CAN LEARN AS SHE GOES ALONG . $
02 IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO LEARN BRIDGE AS YOU GO ALONG . $
03 THEN WE 'LL TEACH HER FIRST . $
WHERE ARE THE CARDS ? $
< ( DEBORAH QUICKLY GOES TO THE CUPBOARD AND PRODUCES A PACK
 . ) > $
02 WE SHOULD HAVE TWO PACKS . $
01 THE OTHER ONE WAS USED FOR CHICKEN-FEED . $
THE CORNERS ARE ALL TORN OFF . $
03 < ( SQUARING UP TO THE TABLE ) > $
NOW COME ALONG , SIT DOWN AND I 'LL SHOW YOU . $
< ( DEBORAH SITS OPPOSITE SUSAN . ) > $
03 FIRST YOU DEAL THIRTEEN CARDS TO EVERYONE . $
02 FIRST YOU SHUFFLE AND CUT . $
03 SHE KNOWS THAT . $
YOU DO IT IN BEGGAR-MY-NEIGHBOUR . $
01 WHY THIRTEEN ? $
03 FOUR TIMES THIRTEEN IS FIFTY-TWO . $
THE NUMBER OF CARDS IN THE PACK . $
01 IT SOUNDS VERY UNLUCKY . $
COULDN'T WE PLAY WITH TWELVE ? $
03 NO WE COULD NOT . $
01 < ( TO GREGORY ) > $
I 'M TERRIBLY SUPERSTITIOUS . $
03 NOT NOW . $
YOU 'RE GROWN UP NOW . $
01 SO I AM . $
< ( TO GREGORY ) > $
I 'M NOT SUPERSTITIOUS . $
< ( SUSAN HAS DEALT . ) > $
03 I HAVEN'T PLAYED FOR YEARS , THERE 'S BEEN NOBODY TO PLAY
 WITH . $
NOW ... LET ME THINK ... $
YOU HAVE FOUR SUITS : ACES , KINGS , QUEENS AND KNAVES . $
#67 $
02 OH NO . $
03 WHAT ? $
02 THE SUITS ARE SPADES , HEARTS , CLUBS AND DIAMONDS , IN T
HAT ORDER . $
03 IF YOU KNOW IT ALL YOU 'D BETTER DO THE EXPLAINING . $
02 NOT ME , NOT TO HER . $
03 THEN PLEASE DON'T INTERRUPT , YOU 'LL CONFUSE ME . $
I KNEW PERFECTLY WELL THOSE WERE THE SUITS . $
I JUST SAID IT WRONG . $
SPADES , HEARTS , CLUBS AND DIAMONDS ... $
01 IN THAT ORDER . $
03 IN THAT ORDER . $
NOW WHEN YOU PICK UP YOUR HAND YOU SORT THEM OUT AND SEE WHA
T YOU HAVE THE MOST OF . $
< ( LOOKING AT DEBORAH'S HAND ON THE TABLE ) > $
THERE YOU SEE YOU HAVE ACE , KING , KNAVE AND THREE OTHER DI
AMONDS SO DIAMONDS ARE YOUR STRONG SUIT . $
01 ALWAYS ? $
03 NO OF COURSE NOT ALWAYS . $
ON THIS HAND . $
01 BUT HOW CAN THEY BE STRONG SOMETIMES AND WEAK SOMETIMES ?
 $
03 OH , GREGORY , YOU TRY AND EXPLAIN . $
04 I 'M SORRY BUT I DON'T PLAY BRIDGE . $
03 < ( LOOKS AT HIM IN SURPRISE ) > $
THEN THERE'S NOT MUCH POINT IN TEACHING DEBORAH . $
02 THERE NEVER WAS . $
01 SO WHAT SHALL WE DO ? $
02 WE COULD GO TO BED . $
01 OH NO . $
MUCH TOO EARLY . $
NOTHING LIKE BED-TIME YET . $
04 I THINK PERHAPS REALLY I OUGHT TO GO . $
< ( HE STANDS . ) > $
03 < ( GRABS HIM BY THE WRIST AND FORCES HIM DOWN ) > $
LET 'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING . $
01 JUST TALK ? $
03 HAVE A DISCUSSION . $
02 < ( POINTING TO GREGORY ) > $
ABOUT HIM ? $
03 NO , NOTHING PERSONAL . $
SOMETHING IMPORTANT , SOMETHING TOPICAL . $
THE SORT OF THING PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT . $
02 THE WEATHER . $
03 MARK , YOU 'RE TRYING TO MISUNDERSTAND . $
I MEAN FRANCE OR BLACK MEN OR DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD . $
01 OH YES , LET 'S . $
#68 $
02 WHICH ? $
03 YOU 'RE NOT TRYING . $
02 YOU JUST SAID I WAS . $
03 SHUT UP ! $
01 WE MUST CHOOSE ONE . $
I MEAN WE CAN'T DISCUSS THEM ALL AT ONCE . $
03 GREGORY , YOU CHOOSE . $
YOU KNOW THE SORT OF THINGS PEOPLE TALK ABOUT . $
04 FRANCE SEEMS THE BEST , IN A WAY . $
02 WHAT WAY ? $
04 NOT TOO CONTROVERSIAL . $
03 ALL RIGHT , FRANCE . $
LET 'S DISCUSS FRANCE . $
I THINK FRANCE IS AWFUL . $
01 SO DO I . $
02 GOOD GOD YES . $
FRIGHTFUL PLACE . $
03 GREGORY ? $
04 I 'VE NEVER BEEN THERE . $
03 THAT DOESN'T MATTER . $
TELL US WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT IT . $
04 YOU HAVE TO WATCH THOSE FRENCH CHEESES OR THEY GO DRY ON
YOU . $
03 THERE , THAT 'S INTERESTING , ISN'T IT , DEBORAH ? $
02 KNEW IT ALREADY . $
03 DEBORAH DIDN'T . $
01 I ONLY LIKE PROPER CHEESE . $
02 YOU DON'T LIKE CHEESE AT ALL . $
01 I DO . $
I LOVE IT ! $
02 NO YOU DON'T , YOU USED TO PRETEND TO BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT
 IT WAS A GROWN-UP THING TO LIKE , AND BECAUSE I DIDN'T LIKE
 IT AND WAS OLDER THAN YOU IT MADE ME LOOK BACKWARD , BUT I
LIKE REAL CHEESE NOW AND YOU DON'T . $
01 I DO , I DO ! $
02 CHEDDAR CHEESE IS THE ONLY CHEESE YOU KNOW . $
03 WELL IT IS CHEESE , MARK . $
02 NOT TO A TRUE CHEESE-LOVER . $
< ( TO GREGORY ) > $
IS IT ? $
04 IN A WAY IT IS . $
01 THERE ! $
02 BUT IN A WAY IT 'S NOT , AND THAT 'S THE WAY I 'M TALKING
 ABOUT . $
01 OH YOU 'RE JUST SWANKING , YOU 'RE NOT DISCUSSING AT ALL
. $
#69 $
< ( SHE STARTS TRYING TO BUILD A CARD HOUSE WITH GREAT CONCE
NTRATION BUT NO PARTICULAR SUCCESS . ) > $
03 WE MUSTN'T BE PERSONAL , THAT SPOILS THE WHOLE THING . $
04 PERHAPS IF WE CHANGED THE SUBJECT . $
03 ALL RIGHT THEN : BLACK MEN . $
02 WHAT ABOUT THEM ? $
03 THEY SAY THEY 'RE A PROBLEM . $
02 NOT TO ME . $
04 IT 'S A QUESTION OF WHETHER WE 'RE TALKING ABOUT THEM IN
AFRICA OR OVER HERE . $
02 AFRICA OF COURSE . $
NONE HERE . $
03 OH YES THERE ARE , MARK , THE PAPERS ARE FULL OF THEM . $
02 YOU CAN'T BELIEVE THE PAPERS . $
04 BUT IT IS A PROBLEM . $
02 WHAT IS ? $
04 IMMIGRATION , PREJUDICE , THAT SORT OF THING . $
03 YES IT IS , MARK , REALLY . $
02 WHY ? $
03 BECAUSE ... WELL THERE THEY ARE , AND THERE ARE THE OTHER
S . $
02 WHAT OTHERS ? $
03 THE ONES WHO AREN'T BLACK .  $
04 LIKE US . $
02 < ( LOOKS AT THE OTHER THREE ) > $
I SEE NO PROBLEM . $
03 YES , MARK , YES . $
THEY DON'T LIKE MIXING WITH THEM . $
04 WON'T INTEGRATE . $
01 < ( LOOKS AT HIM , CARD IN HAND ) > $
WON'T INTEGRATE ? $
04 NO . $
01 WHAT A FUNNY WORD . $
DOES IT MEAN ... ? $
03 NO . $
< ( DEBORAH GOES BACK TO BUILDING HER CARD HOUSE . ) > $
04 THEY SAY THEY 'RE NOISY AND DIRTY AND THEY COOK SMELLY FO
OD . $
02 SO THEY ARE AND SO THEY DO . $
REVOLTING MUCK . $
SMELT IT MYSELF . $
03 WHERE ? $
02 ON THE WAY TO THE STATION . $
MY STATION . $
THE SMELL HITS YOU AS YOU WALK PAST . $
03 A HOUSE ? $
#70 $
02 A SHOP , MORE OF A RESTAURANT BUT THEY CALL IT A SHOP . $
FISH THEY SELL , AND CHIPPED POTATOES . $
03 THE BLACK MEN DO ? $
02 NO OF COURSE NOT OR THEY WOULDN'T COMPLAIN . $
04 NO NO , IT 'S THE WHITE PEOPLE WHO COMPLAIN . $
02 THEY 'LL COMPLAIN ABOUT ANYTHING . $
NEVER SATISFIED . $
WANT TELEVISION SETS AND CARS AND GOD KNOWS WHAT . $
03 THERE 'S NOTHING ACTUALLY WRONG WITH TELEVISION SETS . $
01 OR CARS . $
WE HAVE A CAR . $
02 IT DOESN'T GO . $
04 I HAVE A TELEVISION SET . $
02 AND I DARE SAY YOU 'RE ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO COMPLAIN ABO
UT THESE BLACK CHAPS . $
04 NO , OH NO , NOT ME . $
MIND YOU ... $
02 THAT 'S A COMPLAINT . $
EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN . $
BLOODY INTOLERANT . $
04 YOU CALL ME THAT ? $
03 LET 'S TALK ABOUT GOD INSTEAD . $
DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD ? $
I DO . $
04 NO , WAIT SUSAN . $
IT 'S NOT FAIR THAT HE SHOULD CALL ME INTOLERANT WITHOUT EVE
N LISTENING TO WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY . $
03 NO IT 'S NOT . $
MARK , LISTEN . $
< ( MARK INDICATES HIS WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN . ) > $
04 WELL AS I SEE IT , PREJUDICE ASIDE , IN THE FIRST PLACE T
HEY ARE NOT , WITH EXCEPTIONS OF COURSE , WELL SUITED TO OUR
 WAY OF LIFE . $
THEY TEND , AND THIS ISN'T PREJUDICE , TO BE IDLE AND FECKLE
SS . $
02 EVERYBODY IS TODAY . $
THAT 'S WHY WE CAN'T GET SERVANTS . $
04 IN THE SECOND PLACE THIS ISLAND IS FAR TOO SMALL AND OVER
CROWDED ALREADY . $
02 NONSENSE . $
I COULD TRAVEL A HUNDRED MILES FROM HERE IN ANY DIRECTION AN
D MEET NOBODY AT ALL . $
CAME UP FROM KENT BY TRAIN , NOT A SOUL . $
THE PLACE IS A DESERT . $
WORSE THAN AUSTRALIA . $
HOUSES , HOUSES , HOUSES ; NOBODY . $
04 THAT 'S RATHER A SPECIAL VIEW . $
02 NATURALLY . $
IT 'S MY VIEW , AND A VERY GOOD VIEW TOO , THE ONLY ONE I CA
N SEE . $
THERE IS NO BETTER ONE . $
04 IT ISN'T SHARED . $
02 OH YES IT IS . $
BY MY SISTERS . $
03 NO , MARK , NOT NOW . $
WE SAID . $
02 SAY WHAT YOU LIKE IT WON'T MAKE THE SLIGHTEST DIFFERENCE
: NOT TO YOU AND NOT TO DEBORAH . $
#71 #
NOBODY CHANGES AND SO WE DO NOT CHANGE . $
AS YOU WERE , YOU ARE AND ALWAYS WILL BE . $
01 < ( WITHOUT LOOKING UP ) > $
YOU 'VE GOT A FLY-BUTTON UNDONE . $
< ( BOTH GREGORY AND MARK BOW THEIR HEADS INVOLUNTARILY AS T
HEY LOOK DOWN . ) > $
03 AMEN . $
< ( MARK RISES , GOES OUT TO THE HALL AND INTO THE WASH-PLAC
E , SHUTTING THE DOOR . ) > $
03 < ( TURNS TO GREGORY ) > $ $
THAT 'S HOW WE ALWAYS STOP HIM WHEN HE RUNS ON . $
BUT YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE , D. $
NOW HE 'LL BE THERE FOR AGES . $
01 THERE 'S NOTHING IN THERE TO READ . $
LET 'S PLAY A TRICK ON HIM . $
WHAT SHALL WE DO ? $
03 ALL HIDE . $
01 YES , LET 'S PRETEND WE 'VE GONE TO BED ; ALL GONE TO BED
 , TURN OUT THE LIGHTS .  $
03 HE HATES THE DARK . $
< ( DEBORAH GOES TO THE SWITCH AND TURNS OUT THE LIGHTS . $
A GLOW COMES DOWN THE STAIRS . ) > $
04 I DON'T KNOW THAT WE OUGHT REALLY . $
01 YES , OH YES WE MUST . $
HIDE IN THERE . $
THEN HE 'LL GO TO BED AND WE 'LL POUNCE OUT ON HIM . $
< ( SHE PULLS ASIDE THE WINDOW CURTAIN . $
THEY SQUEEZE BEHIND IT . ) > $
03 QUICK ! $
< ( THEY ARE STILL . $
IN A MOMENT THE WASH-PLACE DOOR OPENS AND MARK IS SILHOUETTE
D IN THE DOORWAY . $
HE GIVES A CRY OF ALARM AT WALKING INTO DARKNESS . ) > $
02 SUSAN ! $
DEBORAH ! $
WHERE ARE YOU ? $
< ( HE GROPES HIS WAY TO THE SWITCH . ) > $
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ? $
DON'T PLAY THE FOOL . $
DO YOU THINK IT 'S FUNNY ? $
BUTLER , YOU 'RE A MAN , DON'T BEHAVE LIKE AN INFANT . $
< ( HE FINDS THE SWITCH AND TURNS ON THE LIGHT . $
HE LOOKS AROUND , BLINKING . $
HE LOOKS UPSTAIRS . $
HE LISTENS . $
HE COMES DOWN INTO THE ROOM , LOOKING FROM RIGHT TO LEFT . $
HE SEES THE CURTAIN WHICH MOVES VERY SLIGHTLY . $
HE KNOWS . $
DELIBERATELY HE GOES TO THE SOFA AND SITS . ) > $
THEY MIGHT HAVE SAID GOOD-NIGHT . $
< ( HE TAKES OFF ONE SHOE , THEN THE OTHER , HUMMING TO HIMS
ELF THE WHILE . ) > $
MAY AS WELL TURN IN . $
< ( HE YAWNS . $
THEN HE RISES AND TIPTOES TO THE CURTAIN . $
HE CLENCHES HIS RIGHT FIST AND SUDDENLY AIMS A TREMENDOUS BL
OW AT THE CURTAIN . $
THERE IS A SHARP SOUND AND HE HAS HURT HIS KNUCKLES . $
HE STEPS BACK AS THE CURTAIN IS PULLED ASIDE AND THE THREE S
TEP OUT . $
DEBORAH CARRIES A SOLID WOODEN TRAY AND IS LAUGHING UPROARIO
USLY . ) > $
#72 $
01 I KNEW YOU 'D DO THAT . $
YOU DID IT LAST TIME . $
03 MUCH TOO HARD . $
YOU MIGHT HAVE HURT HER . $
01 BUT HE HURT HIMSELF . $
HA HA HA . $
02 VERY FUNNY . $
VERY . $
< ( HE TURNS AWAY FROM THEM TRYING NOT TO SHOW HOW MUCH IT H
URTS . $
THEN HE MASTERS HIMSELF AND TURNS BACK AGAIN AND SPEAKS TO G
REGORY . ) > $
DID YOU ENJOY THAT ? $
04 A JOKE , THAT 'S ALL . $
JUST A JOKE . $
02 A GAME . $
04 SORT OF . $
02 LIKE OWL-EYES ? $
04 WELL ... $
02 WHICH DID YOU KISS THIS TIME ? $
03 WHAT A HORRID THING TO SAY . $
02 OH YES ? $
INDEED ? $
YOU THINK SO ? $
LET ME TELL YOU HE WAS KISSING AND CUDDLING YOUR LITTLE SIST
ER AFTER TEA . $
I CAUGHT THEM AT IT . $
01 WE WERE NOT CUDDLING ! $
03 < ( SHARPLY TO GREGORY ) > $
KISSING ? $
04 WE WERE PLAYING THAT GAME , THAT ... $
01 OWL-EYES . $
04 AND SHE WAS VERY CLOSE TO ME . $
02 < ( TO DEBORAH ) > $ $
YOU SEE , I TOLD YOU THERE WAS A PUNISHMENT . $
04 IT WAS ONLY KIND OF ... WELL , BROTHERLY . $
AFTER ALL , SHE 'S GOING TO BE MY SISTER-IN-LAW . $
03 YOU 'VE NEVER KISSED ME . $
04 I NEVER SORT OF LIKED TO . $
03 KISS ME NOW . $
04 HERE ? $
03 AND NOW . $
< ( HE GOES UP TO HER AND KISSES HER ON THE CHEEK . ) > $
01 HE CAN DO IT MUCH BETTER THAN THAT . $
ON THE MOUTH . $
THAT 'S WHAT HE DID TO ME . $
IT 'S QUITE DIFFERENT FROM WHEN WE KISSED DADDY . $
03 WELL COME ON . $
04 IT 'S NOT THE SORT OF THING YOU DO WHEN THERE 'S OTHER PE
OPLE AROUND . $
01 WE 'RE ALL FAMILY . $
#73 $
04 THAT MAKES IT MORE DIFFICULT . $
03 GO AWAY , BOTH OF YOU . $
01 < ( HURT ) > $
OH ALL RIGHT . $
02 I SHALL GO TO BED . $
< ( DEBORAH GOES OFF INTO THE KITCHEN . $
MARK GOES UPSTAIRS . ) > $
03 NOW . $
04 IT NEVER SEEMED TO BE WHAT YOU WANTED . $
03 BUT ISN'T IT WHAT YOU WANT ? $
04 WELL YES , IN A WAY , BUT I THOUGHT WE 'D COME ROUND TO I
T . $
03 WE HAVE . $
04 I FEEL EMBARRASSED . $
03 I DON'T . $
ARE YOU REALLY AN ADVENTURER AFTER MY FORTUNE ? $
04 NO , IT 'S YOU THAT I WANT . $
WELL , WHEN I SAY ' WANT ' I MEAN LOVE OF COURSE . $
03 IT 'S ME THAT YOU 'RE SUPPOSED TO BE KISSING . $
04 I KNOW BUT YOU 'RE SO ABRUPT ABOUT IT . $
03 YOU MUST HAVE BEEN JOLLY ABRUPT WITH DEBORAH . $
04 THINGS HAPPENED THAT WAY . $
03 I WANT THEM TO HAPPEN THAT WAY AGAIN . $
04 THEY NEVER DO . $
03 HOW DO YOU KNOW ? $
HAVE YOU DONE THIS LOTS OF TIMES ? $
04 NOT LOTS . $
03 SOME TIMES ? $
< ( GREGORY ASSENTS IN A SHRUGGING SORT OF WAY . ) > $
03 HOW MANY TIMES ? $
04 SEVEN . $
03 YOU SOUND VERY SURE ABOUT IT . $
WHO WERE THEY ALL ? $
04 I CAN'T REMEMBER . $
03 IF YOU CAN REMEMBER THE NUMBER YOU CAN REMEMBER THEIR NAM
ES . $
OR THEIR FACES IF YOU 'RE BAD AT NAMES. $
04 THEY 'RE ALL OVER AND DONE WITH . $
03 YES , GREGORY , BUT I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THEM . $
WHO WAS THE FIRST ? $
04 A GIRL CALLED MYRA AT THE PRESERVES COUNTER . $
OH PLEASE ! $
03 NEXT ? $
04 HER NAME WAS JANICE . $
I CAN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT HER . $
03 THEN ? $
#74 $
04 I DON'T KNOW . $
03 YES YOU DO . $
04 NOT THE NAME . $
03 THE COLOUR OF HER HAIR . $
04 BLUE ! $
03 I DON'T BELIEVE YOU . $
04 HER EYES , I MEANT . $
03 NO , I DON'T BELIEVE YOU AT ALL . $
IT WASN'T SEVEN GIRLS . $
< ( GREGORY DOES NOT ANSWER . ) > $
03 IT WAS TWO . $
04 SEVEN WAS A BETTER SORT OF NUMBER . $
03 BUT NOT THE RIGHT ONE . $
WHY DID YOU LIE ? $
04 I DO QUITE OFTEN . $
03 THERE ARE PUNISHMENTS FOR LYING . $
04 NOT NOW . $
03 WHY NOT NOW ? $
04 THEY WERE FOR CHILDREN . $
03 DON'T DARE TO SAY THAT TO DEBORAH OR SHE 'LL NEVER TELL T
HE TRUTH AGAIN . $
04 THAT 'S ME . $
03 WHY ? $
04 WHEN I WAS ABOUT SEVEN I WAS SENT TO THE DAIRY FOR SOME M
ILK . $
ON THE WAY BACK I BEGAN TO WONDER WHAT SORT OF NOISE THE BOT
TLE WOULD MAKE IF I THREW IT UP SO THAT IT LANDED IN THE ROA
D . $
SO I THREW IT UP AND IT DID LAND IN THE ROAD . $
03 GREGORY ! $
04 WITH SOMETHING BETWEEN A PLOP AND A CRASH . $
I NEVER LIKED MILK . $
BUT THEN OF COURSE I HAD TO GO HOME WITH NONE AND THEY ASKED
 ME WHERE IT WAS . $
03 YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER ? $
04 YES AND I TOLD THEM WHAT SEEMED A LIKELY TALE . $
I SAID A COW HAD COME AND ASKED FOR IT BACK . $
03 WHAT HAPPENED ? $
04 I WAS BEATEN TILL I BLED . $
03 ON THE BEHIND ? $
04 YES . $
03 AND IT BLED ? $
HOW AWFUL . $
04 YES BUT THE THING IS WHAT I WAS BEATEN FOR . $
NOT FOR BREAKING THE BOTTLE ; NO , BUT FOR TELLING SUCH A ST
UPID LIE . $
#75 $
AFTER THAT I ALWAYS TOLD CLEVER ONES . $
03 YOU SEEM TO HAVE LOST YOUR TOUCH A BIT RECENTLY . $
04 YES ... $
03 IF IT HAD BEEN ME I 'D HAVE SAID THAT I 'D TRIPPED OVER .
 $
04 THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN CLEVER , BUT I WAS YOUNG FOR MY AGE
. $
03 YOU ARE STILL . $
04 OH I DON'T KNOW . $
03 OR YOU WOULDN'T GO ON TELLING LIES . $
IT DOESN'T DO . $
IN A FAMILY YOU MUST BE HONEST . $
04 I TOLD YOU , THAT 'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT FAMILIES . $
< ( DEBORAH ENTERS FROM THE KITCHEN . ) > $
01 WHAT I LIKE ABOUT FAMILIES IS CHRISTMAS . $
03 SHE 'S MAD ABOUT CHRISTMAS . $
04 SO AM I . $
03 YOU 'VE NEVER SAID SO . $
04 WE 'VE NEVER BEEN TOGETHER AT CHRISTMAS . $
01 BUT YOU WILL BE THIS YEAR . $
AND IT 'S DUCHESS'S TURN TO HAVE US SO PERHAPS IT WILL BE IN
 YOUR FLAT . $
WILL YOU HANG UP TWO STOCKINGS OR A DOUBLE ONE ? $
04 DOUBLE ? $
01 ONE BIG ONE . $
OR A PAIR OF TIGHTS WOULD BE BETTER . $
THERE 'D BE ROOM FOR SOMETHING EXTRA BETWEEN THE ... $
OOH ! $
< ( SHE CLAPS A HAND ACROSS HER MOUTH . ) > $
03 DEBORAH , GO TO BED . $
01 I WAS GOING ANYWAY . $
I 'M TERRIBLY TIRED . $
< ( SHE GOES UP TO THE FRONT DOOR AND BOLTS IT . $
THEN SHE COMES DOWN TO THE SECRETAIRE AND FROM A DRAWER PROD
UCES A GURKHA KUKRI IN ITS SHEATH . ) > $
04 WHAT 'S THAT ? $
01 < ( DRAWING IT ) > $
IT 'S CALLED A KUKRI . $
IT BELONGED TO OUR UNCLE JAMES AND I KEEP IT ON THE HALL TAB
LE AT NIGHT WHEN I 'M ALONE . $
03 WELL YOU 'RE NOT ALONE NOW SO PUT IT AWAY . $
01 < ( PUTS THE KNIFE BACK IN ITS SHEATH ) > $
OH NO , OF COURSE . $
I 'M LESS ALONE THAN I 'VE BEEN FOR YEARS . $
< ( TO GREGORY ) > $
WHERE ARE YOU SLEEPING ? $
03 IN YOUR ROOM . $
#76 $
01 AND US IN THE BIG ROOM , YES . $
< ( TO GREGORY ) > $
MY SHEETS ARE QUITE CLEAN BUT THERE MAY BE A WINE-GUM UNDER
THE PILLOW . $
03 DEBORAH , DON'T BE DISGUSTING . $
01 I HAVEN'T SUCKED IT . $
REMEMBER IF YOU 'RE HUNGRY IN THE NIGHT . $
04 I WILL . $
01 < ( INDICATING THE KUKRI ) > $
YOU KNOW I THINK I WILL LEAVE THIS OUT . $
I FEEL HAPPIER IF IT IS . $
< ( SHE MOVES UP TO THE HALL WITH THE KNIFE . ) > $
04 WHY ? $
01 IN CASE OF BUGGULARS . $
< ( GREGORY LOOKS AT HER , STARTLED . ) > $
01 < ( DECLAIMS FIERCELY ) > $
' A BUGGULAR , A BUGGULAR COME TO CUT YOUR JUGULAR . ' $
< ( GREGORY LAUGHS . ) > $
03 OH GO TO BLOODY BED ! $
01 DUCHESS ! $
OH , DUCHESS ! $
03 GO ON ! $
01 < ( GOES UP THE STAIRS SINGING ) > $
DUCHESS IS A BAD GIRL ,  DUCHESS SAID A CURSE , DUCHESS USED
 A NAUGHTY WORD , BUT I KNOW WORSE . $
< ( SHE KISSES HER HAND TO GREGORY AND GOES . $
GREGORY IS LAUGHING . ) > $
03 FAMILY LIFE . $
04 YES . $
03 THAT 'S HOW I MET YOU . $
IN BATH . $
HOW I CAME TO BATH . $
ULTIMATELY . $
04 YOU MEAN YOU WANTED TO GET AWAY ? $
03 FROM THE FAMILY , YES . $
AND WHEN WE 'RE MARRIED WE 'LL SEE THEM ONLY AT CHRISTMAS AN
D EASTER . $
SO , YOU SEE , I DEPEND ON YOU . $
YOU 'RE MY CHANCE . $
04 HASN'T ANYONE EVER ASKED YOU BEFORE ? $
03 NOT SEVEN , NOT TWO ; ONE . $
04 NO GOOD ? $
03 I FLED . $
COULDN'T FACE IT . $
FLED . $
04 THAT 'S WHAT I MEAN . $
THAT 'S WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU . $
SO HONEST . $
03 AND NOW YOU CAN START BEING HONEST . $
04 I WILL BE . $
I 'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE . $
AND SPECIALLY WITH YOU . $
#77 $
03 WELL THEN TELL ME THIS FOR A START ... $
04 ANYTHING . $
03 ANYTHING AT ALL ? $
04 ABSOLUTELY . $
03 DO YOU LIKE DEBORAH BETTER THAN ME ? $
04 < ( SITS . $
HE THINKS ) > $
YES . $
< ( THERE IS A PAUSE . $
SUSAN LOOKS AT HIM . ) > $
03 OH GOD . $
04 YOU MADE ME TELL THE TRUTH . $
03 A HATEFUL THING TO SAY . $
04 YOU 'RE A BETTER PERSON . $
MUCH . $
03 HAVE HER , TAKE HER , MARRY HER , CUDDLE HER , PLAY OWL-E
YES ! $
04 NO , SUSAN . $
I 'M ENGAGED TO YOU . $
< ( HE MOVES TOWARDS HER . ) > $
03 < ( STANDS AND BACKS AWAY ) > $
NO ! $
DON'T ! $
< ( SHE LOOKS HIM UP AND DOWN . ) > $
IT 'S AS THOUGH THE PRINCE HAD TURNED INTO A TOAD . $
04 I WAS NEVER A PRINCE ! $
03 TO ME . $
OH YES . $
AND NOW ... I HATE YOU ! $
04 SUSAN PLEASE , LISTEN , LET ME EXPLAIN . $
WHEN I SAID ' LIKE ' I DIDN'T MEAN ' LOVE ' . $
THAT 'S QUITE DIFFERENT . $
THAT 'S WHAT I FEEL FOR YOU ; LOVE AND ADMIRATION , BUT YOU
SAID ' LIKE ' AND I TOOK YOU AT YOUR WORD . $
< ( HE HAS TAKEN HER HANDS DURING HIS SPEECH . ) > $
03 < ( WRENCHES HERSELF FREE AND SLAPS HIS FACE ) > $
A CLEVER LIE ! $
< ( SHE TURNS TO GO UPSTAIRS , WEEPING , AND FINDS THAT MARK
 IS COMING DOWNSTAIRS . ) > $
03 < ( ANGRILY TO HIM ) > $
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO BED . $
02 < ( INDICATES THE BLANKETS HANGING OVER HIS ARM ) > $
I AM . $
< ( SUSAN BRUSHES PAST HIM AND GOES UPSTAIRS . $
GREGORY WOULD FOLLOW HER BUT HE DECIDES NOT TO . $
MARK GOES TO THE SOFA AND STARTS TO PUT THE BLANKETS ON IT .
 $
HE IGNORES GREGORY . $
WHEN THE BLANKETS ARE ARRANGED TO HIS SATISFACTION HE TAKES
OFF HIS COAT AND WAISTCOAT IN ONE , HANGS THEM OVER A CHAIR
WHICH HE HAS PLACED BESIDE THE SOFA . $
HE GOES TO HIS CASE AND TAKES OUT HIS PYJAMAS , DRESSING-GOW
N AND SPONGE-BAG . $
HE IS ALREADY WEARING BEDROOM SLIPPERS . ) > $
04 WELL , I THINK I 'LL GO TO BED . $
02 < ( LOOKS AT HIM , MILDLY SURPRISED TO SEE HIM THERE ) >
 $
GOOD NIGHT . $
< ( GREGORY GOES UP THE STAIRS . ) > $
02 < ( BEGINS TO SAY SOMETHING ) > $
SLEEP ... $
#78 $
04 < ( STOPS ON THE STAIRS ) > $
WHAT ? $
02 NOTHING . $
< ( GREGORY GOES UP THE STAIRS . ) > $
02 < ( MUTTERS ) > $
' ... TIGHT AND DON'T LET THE FLEAS BITE . ' $
< ( HE GOES INTO THE WASH-PLACE AND SHUTS THE DOOR . ) > $
< ( AFTER A MOMENT GREGORY COMES DOWNSTAIRS AGAIN . $
HE STANDS UNCERTAINLY AT THE FOOT OF THE STAIRS , THEN MOVES
 DOWN TO SIT IN A CHAIR . $
MARK COMES OUT OF THE BATHROOM WEARING PYJAMAS AND CARRYING
HIS OTHER CLOTHES . $
HE LOOKS AT GREGORY IN SURPRISE . $
GREGORY STANDS . ) > $
04 THERE 'S ONE IN EACH ROOM . $
02 AH . $
< ( CAREFULLY HE FOLDS HIS TROUSERS AND HANGS THEM OVER THE
CHAIR . $
HE BRINGS A STANDARD LAMP FROM A TABLE BY THE WALL AND STAND
S IT ON THE CHAIR . ) > $
04 WHERE SHOULD I SLEEP ? $
< ( MARK KNEELS  BESIDE THE SOFA , HIS HANDS JOINED IN PRAYE
R , HIS HEAD BOWED . ) > $
04 SORRY ... $
02 ... AND DUCHESS AND DEBORAH . $
AMEN . $
< ( HE HOPS UNDER THE BED-CLOTHES , TAKES HIS PEDOMETER FROM
 HIS PYJAMA POCKET AND CONSULTS IT . ) > $
04 WHAT IS THE TIME ? $
02 ELEVEN MILES , FIVE FURLONGS . $
BRING ME A BOOK . $
< ( GREGORY TURNS TO THE BOOKSHELF . ) > $
02 FOURTH FROM THE LEFT ON THE SECOND SHELF . $
< ( GREGORY TAKES THE BOOK OUT . ) > $
02 WHAT IS IT CALLED ? $
04 THE TALE OF SQUIRREL NUTKIN . $
02 THAT IS THE ONE . $
< ( HE HOLDS OUT HIS HAND AND GREGORY GIVES IT TO HIM . $
HE OPENS IT AND BEGINS TO READ . ) > $
04 WHERE AM I TO SLEEP ? $
02 < ( LOOKS UP , IRRITATED ) > $ $
UPSTAIRS . $
04 I TOLD YOU . $
02 WE ARRANGED IT . $
04 THEY 'RE EACH IN ONE ROOM . $
02 SOMEONE , THEN , HAS UPSET THE ARRANGEMENT . $
04 SUSAN . $
02 WHY ? $
04 SHE 'S ANNOYED WITH ME . $
#79 $
02 A QUARREL ? $
04 NOT ON MY SIDE . $
02 A LOVERS' TIFF ? $
04 SHE ASKED FOR THE TRUTH AND I GAVE IT TO HER . $
02 AND HAVING GOT IT SHE MAKES HER INTENTION PLAIN . $
04 DOES SHE ? $
02 WE ARRANGED JUST HOW WE WERE GOING TO SLEEP , SO THAT THE
RE WOULD BE ROOM FOR ALL OF US . $
NOW SHE HAS REARRANGED IT SO THAT YOU ARE LEFT OUT . $
04 AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ? $
02 NOTHING . $
04 I HAVE TO SLEEP SOMEWHERE . $
< ( MARK RETURNS TO HIS BOOK . ) > $
04 HELL , I WAS INVITED HERE ! $
02 BY MY ELDER SISTER I BELIEVE . $
04 I 'M ENGAGED TO HER . $
02 ARE YOU SURE ? $
04 YES I AM . $
02 THEN YOU 'D BETTER GO AND ASK HER WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED
TO SLEEP . $
04 YOU WANT ME OUT OF THE HOUSE . $
02 I WANT TO READ MY BOOK AND THEN GO TO SLEEP AND THAT IS W
HAT I SHALL DO . $
04 YOU SELFISH , SNOBBISH , ARROGANT PRIG . $
02 I THOUGHT WE 'D HEAR SOMETHING LIKE THAT FROM YOU SOONER
OR LATER . $
04 WELL I 'M SORRY BUT IS THIS A WAY TO TREAT ANYBODY ? $
02 < ( LOOKS AT HIM FOR QUITE A TIME ) > $
NO . $
< ( HE RETURNS TO HIS BOOK . ) > $
04 MAKING ME A NOBODY , SO THAT 'S HOW YOU WANT ME IS IT ? $
WELL THAT 'S NOT HOW YOU 'LL GET ME . $
I 'M SOMEBODY HERE AND THAT 'S HOW I 'LL STAY . $
SUPPOSE I CHUCKED YOU OUT OF BED ? $
02 I SHOULD RING THE POLICE AND YOU WOULD BE REMOVED FROM TH
E HOUSE . $
04 WOULD I ? $
IT 'S NOT YOUR HOUSE . $
02 EVERY WORD YOU SAY CONFIRMS ME IN MY OPINION OF YOU . $
04 I THINK I 'LL GO AND HAVE A WORD WITH THE OWNER . $
02 SPOKEN LIKE A CHEESEMONGER . $
04 SHE 'LL FIND ME SOMEWHERE TO SLEEP. $
#80 $
< ( AS HE MOVES TOWARDS THE STAIRS HIS FOOT CATCHES IN THE F
LEX OF THE BEDSIDE LAMP . . $
IT FALLS OVER , THERE IS A POP AND ALL THE LIGHTS GO OUT. )
> $
02 HELP ! $
HELP ! $
IT 'S DARK ! $
NO LIGHT , DUCHESS , DEEBOLA ! $
HELP ! $
04 A FUSE . $
02 SOMEBODY , SOMEONE QUICK ! $
HELP ! $
< ( LIGHT COMES FROM UPSTAIRS AND DEBORAH APPEARS ON THEM WE
ARING A WOOLLY DRESSING-GOWN AND CARRYING A TORCH . ) > $
01 MARK , WHAT IS IT ? $
THE LIGHTS ARE ON UP HERE . $
04 A FUSE , I THINK . $
02 < ( VERY MATTER OF FACT ) > $
A FUSE OF COURSE , YES . $
THE LIGHT WAS KNOCKED OVER , THE BULB BROKE , A FUSE WENT AN
D IT WAS DARK . $
01 < ( COMES DOWNSTAIRS ) > $ $
OH POOR BARK , NO LIGHT . $
02 AND I WAS READING . $
04 IF YOU SHOWED ME WHERE THE FUSE-BOX IS I COULD MEND IT .
$
02 NOW I 'LL HAVE TO HAVE THE BIG BED . $
01 BUT I 'M IN THERE WAITING FOR DUCHESS . $
02 SHE 'S IN YOUR ROOM . $
01 WHERE 'S GREGORY ? $
04 I CAN EASILY MEND THE FUSE . $
02 YOU DON'T MIND THE DARK . $
01 NOT IF I HAVEN'T READ ANYTHING FRIGHTENING DURING THE DAY
 . $
BUT WHY IS DUCHESS IN MY ROOM ? $
04 SHE WAS ANGRY . $
01 OH DEAR , IT 'S AWFUL WHEN SHE 'S ANGRY . $
WHO WAS SHE ANGRY WITH ? $
02 NOBODY . $
04 ME . $
02 I SHALL GO TO BED . $
< ( HE PICKS UP HIS CLOTHES AND MAKES FOR THE STAIRS . ) > $
01 AND I 'M TO SLEEP HERE ? $
02 YOU 'VE READ NOTHING TODAY . $
01 LEAVE THE LANDING LIGHT ON THEN . $
02 < ( SLOWLY CLIMBS THE STAIRS ) > $
I ALWAYS DO . $
< ( HE HAS GONE . $
DEBORAH TURNS TO GREGORY . ) > $
01 HE LEAVES HIS DOOR AJAR AS WELL . $
04 LOOK DEBORAH ... $
01 DEEBOLA . $
04 DO LET ME MEND THE FUSE . $
01 HE 'S ANGRY WITH YOU TOO . $
#81 $
04 NO , I WAS ANGRY WITH HIM . $
01 HE 'S GONE BACK TO CALLING YOU NOBODY . $
04 THAT 'S WHY I WAS ANGRY . $
01 HAS DUCHESS JILTED YOU ? $
04 IF YOU 'VE GOT SOME FUSE WIRE I CAN DO IT IN A SECOND . $
01 I 'VE NEVER HEARD OF FUSE WIRE . $
04 PICTURE WIRE THEN . $
I CAN DO IT WITH THAT . $
01 YOU ARE CLEVER . $
04 YOU MUST HAVE HAD LIGHTS FUSE BEFORE . $
01 OH YES , AND I SEND FOR A MAN IN THE MORNING . $
NOW I 'VE GOT A MAN IN THE NIGHT . $
LUCKY ME . $
AND THERE IS SOME PICTURE WIRE , I KNOW THERE IS . $
SOMEWHERE IN HERE . $
< ( SHE HAS GONE UP TO THE DESK AND IS RUMMAGING IN IT . $
GREGORY JOINS HER . ) > $
01 THIS ? $
04 YES . $
NOW SCISSORS . $
01 HERE . $
04 WHERE ARE THE FUSES ? $
01 IN THE DOWNSTAIRS . $
04 OH WELL , IF YOU 'LL HOLD THE TORCH ... $
01 < ( HANDING IT TO HIM ) > $
OH NO , YOU TAKE IT . $
I DON'T WANT TO GO IN THERE - IT MUST BE FULL OF ELECTRICITY
 . $
04 WHAT ? $
01 ALL THE BLACK BOXES ON THE WALL . $
04 BUT LOOK , DEBORAH . $
ELECTRICITY DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT . $
01 OH YES IT DOES . $
I WAS TOLD . $
04 WHO BY ? $
01 ALL THOSE BLACK BOXES ARE FULL OF IT AND IF ANYTHING GOES
 WRONG YOU MUST KEEP WELL AWAY FROM THEM AND NEVER TOUCH THE
M . $
04 WHO TOLD YOU THIS ? $
01 NANNY . $
04 SHE DIDN'T KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT IT . $
01 CAN YOU BE ELECTROCUTED BY ELECTRICITY ? $
04 YES . $
01 WELL THEN ... $
04 BUT NOT LIKE THAT , NOT UNLESS YOU TOUCH THE WRONG THING
. $
01 IF YOU TOUCHED ME IT WOULD BE THE WRONG THING . $
< ( SHE LOOKS UP AT HIM . ) > $
#82 $
04 YES . $
< ( HE TAKES HER IN HIS ARMS . $
THEY EMBRACE . $
SHE DROPS THE TORCH . ) > $
01 I 'VE DROPPED THE TORCH . $
AGAIN ... $
04 YOU 'RE WONDERFUL . $
01 MORE WONDERFUL THAN DUCHESS ? $
04 A THOUSAND TIMES , A MILLION TIMES . $
01 A BILLION TIMES ? $
04 MORE THAN THAT ? $
01 I 'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE MORE WONDERFUL THAN HER BUT SHE
 'D NEVER LET ME . $
< ( GREGORY LEADS HER TO THE SOFA . $
THEY SIT . ) > $
04 NOW YOU ARE . $
01 BUT YOU LOVED HER FIRST . $
04 NOT LIKE THIS . $
< ( HE KISSES HER MORE PASSIONATELY . ) > $
DARLING . $
01 SAY THAT AGAIN . $
04 DARLING . $
01 AND AGAIN . $
TWICE . $
04 DARLING , I LOVE YOU DARLING . $
01 LOVELY . $
LIKE IN A BOOK YOU 'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO READ . $
< ( THEY KISS AGAIN . ) > $
01 WHAT HAPPENS NEXT ? $
04 YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT . $
SHE TOLD YOU . $
01 TELL ME AGAIN . $
NO , LET 'S PLAY OWL-EYES . $
THAT 'S HOW WE MET . $
< ( THEY DO SO ) > $
01 < ( LOUDLY ) > $
ONE , TWO , THREE ... $
OWL-EYES . $
< ( NERVOUSLY HE LOOKS TOWARDS THE STAIRS . ) > $
01 THEY WON'T COME DOWN . $
04 IF HIS DOOR 'S AJAR ... $
01 HE 'LL HEAR NOTHING NOW . $
YOU 'RE NOBODY . $
04 TO YOU ? $
01 NO OF COURSE NOT TO ME , GREGORY . $
YOU CAN'T ... $
04 CAN'T WHAT ? $
01 PLAY OWL-EYES WITH NOBODY I WAS GOING TO SAY , BUT YOU CA
N , OF COURSE , IN A LOOKING-GLASS , IF YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH
 . $
04 SO WHAT AM I ? $
01 WELL IF DUCHESS HASN'T JILTED YOU I SUPPOSE YOU 'RE HER F
IANCE . $
#83 $
04 I THINK SHE HAS . $
01 IN THAT CASE I DON'T QUITE KNOW WHO YOU ARE . $
04 I DO . $
< ( HE HOLDS HER BY THE ARMS . ) > $
I 'M THE MAN WHO ... $
01 WHAT ? $
04 WHO WANTS TO MARRY YOU . $
01 OH NO , GREGORY , YOU CAN'T BE . $
NOT AFTER BEING ENGAGED TO DUCHESS . $
THAT WOULDN'T DO AT ALL . $
I MEAN , THINK HOW TERRIBLY EMBARRASSING WHEN WE MET . $
04 WE NEEDN'T MEET . $
01 TOMORROW MORNING OVER CORN-FLAKES . $
04 COME AWAY WITH ME NOW . $
01 IN YOUR CAR ? $
04 OF COURSE . $
01 IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN IN OUR CAR , HARRIET YOU KNOW , ONLY H
ARRIET DOESN'T GO . $
SHE WAS A MARVELLOUS CAR ONCE , SHE TOOK US EVERYWHERE WE WA
NTED TO GO ... $
04 COME AWAY . $
01 ... AND ONCE INTO A POTATO FIELD WHERE WE DIDN'T WANT TO
GO AT ALL . $
04 DEEBOLA , COME AWAY . $
01 THAT WAS HER STEERING POOR THING , BUT WE HAD IT MENDED .
 $
04 PLEASE ... $
01 NO , GREGORY , I COULDN'T POSSIBLY . $
AFTER ALL I 'D STILL HAVE TO MEET DUCHESS . $
04 YOU NEEDN'T . $
01 IN BATH . $
04 WE NEEDN'T STAY IN BATH . $
MY FIRM HAS BRANCHES EVERYWHERE . $
01 AT THE SEA-SIDE ? $
04 SOUTH COAST YES . $
AND THE BRISTOL CHANNEL . $
01 IF WE WENT SOMEWHERE NICE MARK AND DUCHESS COULD COME DOW
N ... $
< ( HER VOICE TRAILS AWAY . ) > $
04 < ( JUMPS IN EAGERLY ) > $ $
FOR THE HOLIDAYS ? $
01 NO . $
THERE WE ARE AGAIN , YOU SEE . $
IT JUST WON'T DO . $
04 WHY BOTHER ABOUT HER AT ALL ? $
01 ABOUT DUCHESS ? $
04 OR YOUR BROTHER . $
ALL THEY WANT TO DO IS ORDER YOU ABOUT . $
#84 $
01 OH YES , BOSSY AND ALWAYS WERE . $
AND MARK 'S BAD-TEMPERED WITH IT . $
04 YOU NEEDN'T PUT UP WITH THEM ANY MORE . $
COME AWAY WITH ME . $
01 AND NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN ? $
04 NEVER . $
01 BUT THEN I 'D HAVE NOBODY . $
04 ME ! $
01 < ( LOOKS AT HIM AS THOUGH SEEING HIM FOR THE FIRST TIME
) > $
YOU ? $
04 YES ! $
YES ! $
YES ! $
< ( HE PUSHES HER DOWN ON THE SOFA . ) > $
AND I 'M NOT NOBODY , NO BY GOD I 'M  NOT AND YOU WILL FIND
OUT NOW ! $
01 NO ! $
GREGORY , NO DON'T ! $
LET GO , NO , PLEASE ! $
NO ! $
04 YOU 'LL LEARN TO LOOK AT ME , FEEL ME , HEAR ME , OH YOU
WILL ... YOU WILL . $
YOU IF NO ONE ELSE , HOLD STILL , GOD DAMN YOU ! $
STOP ! $
< ( THERE IS A VICIOUS STRUGGLE BROUGHT TO AN END BY DEBORAH
 LASHING OUT AT HIM WITH HER FEET AND TWISTING FREE TO STAND
 AT THE END OF THE SOFA . ) > $
04 < ( PLEADS WITH HER ) > $
WAIT ... $
< ( HE MAKES A MOVE TOWARDS HER . ) > $
01 NO . $
< ( SHE TAKES A STEP TOWARDS THE STAIRS . ) > $
04 PLEASE ... $
< ( SHE STOPS AND TURNS TO LOOK AT HIM . $
HE SITS ON THE SOFA , HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS . ) > $
04 I 'M SORRY . $
01 < ( LOOKS AT HIM WITH A KIND OF DETACHED CURIOSITY AS THO
UGH HE WERE SOME STRANGE TALKING ANIMAL ) > $
DO PEOPLE STILL SAY PLEASE AND SORRY ? $
AND THANK YOU AFTERWARDS ? $
DO THEY ? $
04 I LOST MY HEAD . $
I FRIGHTENED YOU . $
01 YOU SAID IT WOULD BE ROMANTIC . $
04 IT SHOULD BE . $
01 AND IT WASN'T FUNNY EITHER . $
OR EXCITING . $
ONLY NASTY . $
04 IT WAS ALL WRONG . $
PLEASE TRY TO UNDERSTAND . $
PLEASE . $
< ( HE TRIES TO TAKE HER HAND . ) > $
01 < ( SNATCHES IT AWAY AS THOUGH SHE HAD BEEN BURNED ) > $
I 'D LIKE TO UNDERSTAND BUT I 'LL SCREAM IF YOU TOUCH ME . $
04 IT WAS PARTLY BECAUSE I FELT GUILTY AND PARTLY BECAUSE I
WANTED YOU SO . $
01 IF YOU DIDN'T WANT ME IT WOULD BE BETTER ? $
04 NO BUT ... I OVERDID IT , THAT 'S WHAT I MEAN . $
#85 $
01 < ( SITS AT A DISTANCE FROM HIM ) > $
WOULD YOU HAVE RAPED ME IF I HADN'T KICKED YOU ? $
< ( GREGORY LOOKS AT HER IN SURPRISE . ) > $
01 DUCHESS TOLD ME ALL ABOUT RAPE . $
04 OF COURSE I WOULDN'T . $
01 WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE ? $
04 I WAS TRYING TO ... WELL , MAKE LOVE TO YOU . $
01 LOVE ? $
04 I THOUGHT IT WAS WHAT YOU WANTED . $
01 I DON'T THINK YOU CARED WHAT I WANTED . $
04 I WASN'T TO KNOW YOU 'D BE LIKE THAT . $
01 ARE ANY WOMEN NOT LIKE THAT ? $
04 THOUSANDS , HUNDREDS ; MOST . $
01 < ( SHAKES HER HEAD ) > $
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU . $
04 THERE 'S A CERTAIN TYPE OF WOMAN THOUGH WHO 'S DIFFERENT
, COLD . $
THEY CALL THEM FRIGID . $
01 WELL I FELT AMAZINGLY HOT WHILE ALL THAT WAS GOING ON . $
04 IT 'S A COLDNESS IN THE MIND . $
01 NO , THAT WAS SWEATING TOO . $
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT ?
04 I KNOW A GREAT DEAL MORE THAN YOU . $
01 NOT NOW . $
LET 'S TALK OF SOMETHING ELSE . $
04 OH FOR GOD'S SAKE , WHAT ELSE CAN THERE BE AFTER THAT ? $
DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME SAY I LOVED YOU ? $
01 < ( HOLDING UP HER HAND TO STOP HIM ) > $
NO , NO , NO , NOT LOVE . $
TELL ME ABOUT ELECTRICITY . $
04 YOU LED ME ON . $
01 WHY WON'T IT HURT ME IF I GO NEAR THE BOXES ? $
04 < ( CROSSLY ) > $
BECAUSE THE WIRES ARE ALL INSULATED . $
01 HOW ? $
04 WITH INSULATION . $
01 BUT NOT IN THE BOXES SURELY , OR THEY WOULDN'T BE THERE .
$
04 IN THE BOXES ARE THE FUSES . $
YOU FIND THE ONE THAT 'S BURNT OUT AND REPLACE IT . $
PERFECTLY SAFE . $
01 COULD I DO IT ? $
04 EVEN YOU . $
01 HOW ? $
LET ME . $
04 YOU WERE AFRAID . $
#86 $
01 OH NOT NOW . $
IF YOU CAN DO IT , I CAN . $
< ( THERE IS SCORN IN HER TONE . $
SHE PICKS UP THE TORCH AND THE PICTURE WIRE . ) > $
TELL ME WHAT TO DO . $
04 OPEN THE BOX . $
< ( DEBORAH GOES OFF . ) > $
01 < ( OFF ) > $
THERE ARE TWO BOXES . $
04 OPEN THE ONE WITHOUT A SWITCH BESIDE IT . $
< ( THERE IS A METALLIC SOUND . ) > $
01 < ( OFF ) > $ $
A ROW OF CHINA THINGS INSIDE . $
04 < ( SITTING BOLT UPRIGHT STARING IN FRONT OF HIM ) > $
TAKE ONE OUT . $
01 < ( OFF ) > $
TOUCH IT ? $
04 PULL IT . $
01 < ( OFF ) > $
DONE . $
04 IS IT ALL BLACK AND SINGED ? $
01 < ( OFF ) > $
YES . $
04 LET ME SEE . $
01 < ( APPEARS IN THE DOORWAY ) > $
WHY ? $
04 TO MAKE SURE . $
01 MY EYES CAN SEE AS WELL AS YOURS . $
04 < ( GOING TOWARDS HER ) > $
I ONLY WANTED TO LOOK . $
YES , THAT 'S THE ONE . $
01 AS I KNOW VERY WELL . $
AS I TOLD YOU . $
< ( SHE RETURNS TO THE KITCHEN . ) > $
NOW WHAT ? $
04 TAKE THE COPPER WIRE . $
01 < ( OFF ) > $
ALL OF IT ? $
< ( A SLIGHT PAUSE . ) > $
04 YES . $
01 < ( OFF ) > $
AND THEN WHAT ? $
04 SHOVE IT IN THE GAP . $
01 EASY . $
< ( A MOMENTARY PAUSE , THEN GREGORY JUMPS UP . ) > $
04 NO ! $
01 < ( APPEARS IN THE DOORWAY ) > $
WHAT ? $
04 < ( BREATHES A SIGH OF RELIEF ) > $
THAT WOULD HAVE KILLED YOU . $
< ( HE TAKES THE WIRE AND THE FUSE FROM HER . ) > $
01 THEN WHY DID YOU TELL ME TO DO IT ? $
04 I MADE A MISTAKE . $
01 HOW STUPID OF YOU . $
#87 $
04 SHINE THE TORCH . $
< ( SHE DOES SO . $
HE HAS TAKEN A STRAND OF THE WIRE AND IS THREADING IT THROUG
H THE FUSE-HOLDER . ) > $
01 HOW COULD YOU HAVE MADE A MISTAKE ? $
I MEAN WHAT YOU 'RE DOING NOW IS NOTHING LIKE WHAT YOU TOLD
ME TO DO . $
I DON'T SEE HOW YOU COULD HAVE FORGOTTEN : EITHER YOU KNEW H
OW TO DO IT OR YOU DIDN'T AND YOU SAID YOU DID , YOU SAID YO
U KNEW EXACTLY SO WHY TELL ME TO DO SOMETHING ELSE ? $
04 ALWAYS SWITCH OFF THE MAIN SWITCH FIRST . $
01 BUT YOU SAID TO GO TO THE BOX WITHOUT THE SWITCH . $
04 YES I DID . $
01 SO YOU WERE WRONG FROM THE BEGINNING . $
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WERE WRONG , I MEAN YOU SAID YOU
KNEW ; YOU SAID . $
THE WHOLE IDEA WAS YOURS . $
FOR ALL I KNOW YOU 'RE DOING IT THE WRONG WAY NOW . $
04 NO , THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY . $
01 THEN WHY TELL ME THE WRONG WAY . $
04 BECAUSE ... $
< ( HE TAKES THE TORCH FROM HER AND GOES INTO THE WASH-PLACE
 . ) > $
01 BECAUSE WHAT ? $
04 BECAUSE I HOPED ... $
< ( THE LIGHTS GO OUT UPSTAIRS . $
MARK CAN BE HEARD AT ONCE . ) > $
02 < ( OFF ) > $
DEEBOLA , DUCHESS ! $
THE LIGHT 'S GONE OUT , I 'M IN THE DARK ! $
OH HELP , HELP , I 'M IN THE DARK . $
LIGHT , QUICK LIGHT ! $
PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ! $
03 < ( OFF ) > $ $
MARK , WHERE ARE YOU ? $
COMING , MARK ! $
WHERE 'S THE LIGHT , WHAT 'S HAPPENED ? $
< ( ALL THE LIGHTS COME ON . $
DEBORAH BLINKS . $
MARK AND SUSAN APPEAR ON THE STAIRS LEANING OVER THE BANISTE
RS AS GREGORY COMES IN FROM THE WASH-PLACE . ) > $
01 HOPED WHAT ? $
04 I HOPED THAT YOU 'D ELECTROCUTE YOURSELF AND DIE . $
03 OH , GREGORY . $
BUT WHY ? $
04 BECAUSE IT WAS THE ONLY WAY OF TOUCHING ... OF TOUCHING A
NY OF YOU . $
< ( TO DEBORAH ) > $
I 'M SORRY . $
01 HE KEEPS APOLOGIZING . $
04 YES I DO . $
< ( LOOKING UP ) > $
I 'M SORRY , SUSAN . $
I REALLY AM BUT ... I MUST GO . $
I CAN'T STAY HERE . $
I THOUGHT I HAD GROWN UP BUT ... $
#88 $
< ( QUICKLY HE TURNS TO DEBORAH WITH A STIFF LITTLE BOW . )
> $
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR HAVING ME . $
< ( EVEN MORE QUICKLY HE GOES . ) > $
03 < ( LETS OUT A GREAT CRY ) > $
GREGORY ! $
< ( SHE TRIES TO FOLLOW HIM BUT MARK RESTRAINS HER . ) > $
02 YOU CAN'T GO OUT DRESSED LIKE THAT . $
03 < ( STOPS STRUGGLING WITH HIM ) > $
NO I CAN'T . $
I CAN'T , I CAN , I MUST . $
HE 'LL GO . $
01 WITHOUT HIS LUGGAGE ? $
< ( THE CAR STARTS UP AND MOVES OFF . ) > $
03 HE 'S GONE ! $
OH GOD , MY GOD HE 'S GONE ! $
< ( SHE TURNS ON THE OTHERS . ) > $
AND YOU DROVE HIM AWAY ! $
HE WAS MY ONLY HOPE AND YOU KNEW IT SO YOU DROVE HIM OFF . $

02 YOUR ONLY HOPE , SUSAN , OF WHAT ? $
03 OF BEING LIKE OTHER PEOPLE . $
01 BUT , DUCHESS , YOU 'D HATE TO BE LIKE OTHER PEOPLE . $
YOU 'VE ALWAYS SAID . $
02 ' I DON'T WANT TO BE NOBODY ' YOU SAID . $
01 AND YOU WERE RIGHT . $
03 BUT WHAT AM I NOW ? $
01 OUR DUCHESS . $
02 ONE OF US . $
01 THE MOST IMPORTANT OF US . $
02 THE OLDEST , ANYWAY . $
NO , NO WE COULDN'T HAVE TAKEN BUTLER . $
THOSE JOKES OF HIS ! $
THANKIBANKS INDEED ! $
< ( HE MOVES DOWN FROM THE STAIRS TO A CHAIR . ) > $
HOW DARE HE ? $
< ( SUSAN RUSHES ACROSS TO HIM AND ATTACKS HIM , ARMS FLAILI
NG . $
HE COWERS IN THE CHAIR . ) > $
03 YOU BEAST , YOU PIG , I HATE YOU ! $
02 STOP IT ! $
SUSAN , STOP ! $
DEBORAH , STOP HER ! $
01 IT WASN'T MARK'S FAULT . $
< ( SUSAN STOPS HITTING HIM AND TURNS TO LOOK AT HER . ) > $
01 OR NOT MUCH MARK'S FAULT . $
03 < ( TAKES A STEP TOWARDS HER ) > $
YOURS ? $
01 < ( PICKS UP A TENNIS RACKET IN ITS PRESS ) > $
I SHALL HIT YOU WITH THIS IF YOU GO FOR ME . $
03 WHAT HAPPENED ? $
01 HE TRIED TO KILL ME AND IT FRIGHTENED HIM SO HE RAN AWAY
. $
02 KILL YOU ? $
#89 $
01 WITH ELECTRICITY . $
03 YOU 'RE MAKING IT UP , I KNOW YOU ARE . $
WHY SHOULD HE TRY TO KILL YOU ? $
01 BECAUSE I WOULDN'T LET HIM DO WHAT HE WANTED . $
02 WHICH WAS WHAT ? $
03 OH SHUT UP , MARK , WE KNOW , WE 'RE NOT STUPID . $
< ( TO DEBORAH ) > $
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU . $
01 THEN YOU TELL ME WHY HE RAN AWAY . $
03 BECAUSE YOU WERE AFTER HIM , THAT 'S WHY . $
YOU HAVE BEEN EVER SINCE HE CAME HERE. $
DON'T THINK I COULDN'T SEE IT . $
I KNEW . $
02 THAT 'S WHY YOU HAD A ROW WITH HIM . $
03 < ( IGNORING HIM ) > $
COULDN'T FIND ONE OF YOUR OWN SO YOU HAD TO STEAL MINE . $
01 I DIDN'T WANT HIM , NOT WHEN HE WANTED ME . $
03 AFRAID AT THE LAST MINUTE , THAT 'S ALL . $
01 AND HE WAS AFRAID OF YOU . $
02 LET US HAVE A BEVERAGE . $
03 < ( PICKING UP KUKRI ) > $
I SAID I 'D KILL YOU IF I LOST HIM . $
01 THAT WAS CHILDISH . $
03 WHY ? $
YOU SAID HE TRIED TO KILL YOU . $
WAS THAT CHILDISH ? $
01 YES . $
AND SO HE RAN AWAY . $
02 FROM ALL OF US . $
03 < ( SINKING TO THE SOFA AND BURSTING INTO TEARS ) > $
YOU DID IT . $
BOTH OF YOU . $
YOU $
< ( TO DEBORAH ) > $
WITH YOUR FOOTLING HALF-WIT INNOCENCE AND YOU $
< ( TO MARK ) > $
WITH YOUR ARROGANCE , YOUR SNEERING , STINKING , FOOTLING AR
ROGANCE . $
MY GOD , WHAT A FAMILY . $
HE WAS ALL I HAD - ALL I 'LL EVER HAVE . $
< ( COLLAPSES IN TEARS . ) > $
02 TRAGEDY QUEEN . $
01 IT WOULDN'T HAVE WORKED , DUCHESS . $
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN HAPPY WITH HIM . $
03 I WOULD ! $
I WOULD ! $
LEAVE ME ALONE . $
02 I SAID TRAGEDY QUEEN . $
01 WE HEARD YOU . $
02 DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT . $
01 WE HEARD YOU . $
02 NO YOU DIDN'T , DEBORAH . $
I HAVE A FEELING THAT YOU DIDN'T . $
01 SHUT UP , MARK . $
< ( TO SUSAN ) > $
IF YOU GO UP TO BED I 'LL MAKE YOU A HOT DRINK . $
#90 $
03 I DON'T WANT YOUR HOT DRINKS . $
02 < ( TO DEBORAH ) > $
I TOLD YOU NOT TO SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT . $
01 BUT I DO . $
02 AND I TELL YOU NOT TO . $
01 SO ? $
02 SO YOU KNOW VERY WELL . $
PUNISHMENT IS CALLED FOR . $
01 < ( TURNING AWAY ) > $
OH DON'T BE FOOLISH . $
THERE IS NO PUNISHMENT . $
02 < ( TWISTS HER ARM ) > $
NO PUNISHMENT ? $
WHO SAYS NO PUNISHMENT ? $
03 BARK , YOU 'RE HURTING WOMEN ! $
02 CALL ME BY MY NAME . $
< ( SUSAN RUSHES AT HIM . ) > $
02 < ( FLINGS HER AWAY ) > $
AND AGAIN IF YOU 'RE NOT CAREFUL . $
03 NOBODY HURTS WOMEN . $
02 PERHAPS THEY DON'T . $
I DO . $
03 IT 'S AGAINST THE RULES . $
02 NO RULES NOW , YOU 'RE FREE . $
YOU SAID . $
03 < ( POINTING AT DEBORAH ) > $
SHE SAID . $
02 < ( TURNING BACK TO DEBORAH ) > $
YES SHE SAID AND SO SHE IS . $
FREE . $
HOW DO YOU LIKE BEING FREE ? $
01 GO AWAY . $
02 WHERE TO ? $
01 ANYWHERE . $
I DON'T CARE . $
BUT GO , NOW . $
GO ! $
03 HE CAN'T , DEBORAH . $
NOT AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT . $
01 YES HE CAN AND YOU GO TOO . $
03 OH DON'T BE SILLY , DEEBOLA , HOW CAN I ? $
01 I 'LL SHOW YOU . $
< ( SHE GOES TO THE STAIRS , UP THEM AND OFF . ) > $
02 < ( GOES TO THE FOOT OF THE STAIRS AND LOOKS UP ) > $
HAS SHE GONE TO BED ? $
< ( SUSAN DOES NOT REPLY . $
HE MOVES TOWARDS HER . ) > $
02 HAS SHE ? $
OR WHAT ? $
< ( SUSAN SHRUGS ) > $
02 SHE DIDN'T SAY GOOD-NIGHT BUT SHE WENT UPSTAIRS . $
SHE SAID ' I 'LL SHOW YOU ' . $
SHOW US WHAT ? $
< ( SUSAN SHRUGS . ) > $  $
AND WHAT 'S THE MATTER WITH YOU ? $
03 I 'VE SENT YOU TO COVENTRY . $
02 CHILDISH . $
03 FOR HURTING WOMEN . $
#91 $
02 DEBORAH 'S NOT A WOMAN . $
03 YES SHE IS AND YOU HURT ME TOO . $
I 'VE NEVER KNOWN SUCH A THING AND I 'M  NOT GOING TO TALK T
O YOU AGAIN EVER . $
02 HM . $
< ( HE SITS ON THE SOFA . ) > $
< ( A LONG SILENCE ) > $
02 < ( BEGINS A CONVERSATION WITH HIMSELF ) > $
IF YOU DON'T TALK TO ME WHAT , I WONDER , WILL YOU DO ABOUT
DEBORAH ? $
HOW DO YOU MEAN DO ? $
SOMETHING MUST BE DONE AFTER HER BEHAVIOUR TO YOU . $
IT WAS SCANDALOUS . $
WE CAN'T HAVE MUTINY IN THE REGIMENT . $
SHE 'S BEEN PUNISHED ENOUGH . $
OH BUT HOW CAN YOU SAY PUNISHED ENOUGH WHEN SHE 'S RUINED YO
UR LIFE ? $
03 YOU BOTH DID THAT . $
02 BUT SHE BEGAN IT . $
SHE MADE OWL-EYES , SHE MADE SHEEP'S-EYES AT YOUR BELOVED .
$
WITHOUT HER EYES HE 'D BE HERE STILL . $
03 I 'LL DEAL WITH HER . $
02 YOU WEREN'T GOING TO TALK TO ME AGAIN ; NOT EVER . $
HA HA HA , AND I 'VE MADE YOU , TWICE . $
03 OH YOU 'RE HATEFUL . $
02 NO BUT WHAT WILL WE DO ABOUT HER IF SHE WON'T OBEY US ? $
I HAVE A PLAN . $
SHALL I TELL YOU ? $
PERHAPS I WON'T . $
< ( PAUSE . $
SUSAN DOES NOT REACT . ) > $
PERHAPS I WILL . $
YES . $
I AM DEBORAH'S STOCKBROKER AS WELL AS HER BROTHER . $
< ( EXCITED HE JUMPS UP AND WALKS UP AND DOWN . ) > $
I BUY AND SELL THE SHARES SHE LIVES ON . $
I COULD HALVE HER INCOME TOMORROW , AGAIN THE NEXT DAY AND A
GAIN THE NEXT . $
03 MARK , YOU 'RE TALKING ABOUT MONEY . $
02 SO I AM . $
MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY ! $
03 IT 'S NOT DONE . $
02 IT IS NOW . $
BY ME . $
I CAN DO ANYTHING NOW AND IF YOU DON'T JOIN ME YOU 'RE IN CO
VENTRY BECAUSE YOU 'LL HAVE NOBODY TO TALK TO . $
POOR DUCHESS . $
NO GREGORY . $
NO MARK . $
NO DEBORAH . $
HER MONEY OR YOUR LIFE IN FACT . $
NOW LISTEN . $
TOMORROW I SELL OUT DEBORAH'S GILT-EDGED AND BUY CONTINENTAL
 COPPER WHICH IS ON THE SLIDE . $
NEXT DAY I SELL AGAIN AND BUY VENEZUELAN GOLD . $
SHE WON'T HAVE A PENNY BY FRIDAY AND I SHALL MAKE SEVERAL TH
OUSAND IN COMMISSION . $
< ( HE DOES A LITTLE DANCE OF SHEER PLEASURE . ) > $
03 SHE 'LL BE BADLY OFF ? $
02 DESTITUTE AND SERVE HER RIGHT . $
SHE 'LL DO WHAT SHE 'S TOLD THEN . $
#92 $
03 BUT , MARK ... SUPPOSE THE SHARES WENT UP ? $
THEN SHE 'D BE WELL OFF . $
02 THEY CAN'T GO UP . $
03 YOU KNOW ? $
02 MY JOB TO KNOW . $
03 THEN WHY AREN'T WE TERRIBLY RICH ? $
02 IT IS VERY MUCH EASIER , SUSAN , TO LOSE MONEY THAN TO MA
KE IT . $
03 WELL I HOPE SO . $
I MEAN IT WOULD BE TERRIBLE IF SHE SUDDENLY BECAME RICH . $
AFTER WHAT SHE 'S DONE TO ME . $
02 TERRIBLE . $
ARE YOU WITH ME ? $
< ( SUSAN NODS . $
DEBORAH APPEARS ON THE STAIRS FULLY DRESSED AND CARRYING A S
UITCASE . $
THEY WATCH HER AS SHE DESCENDS . ) > $
01 GOOD NIGHT . $
03 WHERE ARE YOU GOING ? $
01 AWAY . $
I WANT TO SEE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE LIKE . $
02 SURELY YOU HAVE SEEN , TONIGHT . $
01 NO , I 'VE ONLY SEEN HOW WE AFFECT THEM . $
03 BUT WHERE WILL YOU GO ? $
THERE 'S NO BUS OR ANYTHING AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT . $
01 I SHALL WALK UNTIL I COME TO A HOTEL . $
02 AND WHAT WILL YOU USE FOR MONEY ? $
01 I 'VE GOT TEN POUNDS . $
02 AND WHEN THAT IS GONE ? $
01 YOU WILL SELL ALL THOSE STOCKS AND SHARES OF MINE . $
02 < ( TAKEN ABACK ) > $
OH . $
01 THEN I SHALL LIVE ON THE MONEY . $
02 LIVE ON CAPITAL ? $
01 UNTIL I CAN FIND WORK . $
OF COURSE I 'LL SELL THIS HOUSE TOO . $
02 AND LIVE WHERE ? $
01 SOME ROOM , SOMEWHERE . $
I DON'T KNOW . $
03 ALONE ? $
01 I 'M ALAYS ALONE . $
03 NOT NOW . $
02 NOT AT CHRISTMAS . $
NOT AT EASTER . $
03 NOT ON OUR BIRTHDAYS . $
02 NO EASTER EGGS , NO CAKE . $
NOTHING . $
01 I DON'T CARE . $
02 CHRISTMAS , THEN . $
WHAT ABOUT CHRISTMAS ? $
#93 $
03 YES . $
YOU CAN'T MISS CHRISTMAS . $
01 I SHALL ENJOY IT JUST AS MUCH ON MY OWN . $
03 NO , DEBORAH , YOU WON'T . $
THERE YOU WILL BE ALL BY YOURSELF AND YOU 'LL THINK OF US TO
GETHER HAVING FUN . $
01 YOU TALK LIKE AN ADVERTISEMENT . $
02 WHO WILL YOU PULL CRACKERS WITH ? $
01 THERE ARE LOTS OF OTHER PEOPLE . $
I SHALL GET TO KNOW THEM AND IF I WANT TO PULL CRACKERS , WE
LL I WILL . $
YOU CAN ALWAYS FIND SOMEONE TO HOLD THE OTHER END . $
03 WHO WILL FILL YOUR STOCKING ? $
01 MY STOCKING ? $
< ( SHE LOOKS AT HER IN SURPRISE AT THE POINTLESSNESS OF THE
 QUESTION . ) > $
SANTA CLAUS OF COURSE . $
< ( THERE IS A LONG PAUSE . $
MARK BEGINS TO SMILE AND RUB HIS HANDS . ) > $
02 DEBORAH . $
< ( SHE LOOKS AT HIM . ) > $
02 OH , DEEBOLA ! $
< ( HE JUMPS UP AND CAPERS ROUND THE ROOM . ) > $
HA HA HA , HEE HEE HEE HEE ! $
LET ME TELL YOU A SMALL SECRET . $
SHALL I TELL HER A SMALL SECRET , DUCHESS , OR WILL YOU ? $
03 NO THANKS . $
I 'VE DONE ENOUGH TELLING TODAY . $
02 < ( GOES UP TO DEBORAH ) > $
NOBO CLAUSY-PAUSE . $
01 MARK , DON'T BE SILLY . $
02 THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS . $
01 THEN WHO FILLS THE STOCKINGS ? $
03 MARK DOES MINE , I DO HIS AND WE BOTH DO YOURS . $
01 < ( FRIGHTENED ) > $
I DON'T BELIEVE IT . $
03 MUMMY AND DADDY USED TO DO THEM . $
02 I KNEW WHEN I WAS SEVEN . $
I WOKE UP AND SAW THEM AT IT . $
03 AND TOLD ME . $
02 AND GOT SMACKED FOR TELLING . $
03 SO WE NEVER TOLD YOU . $
02 WHO WILL FILL YOUR STOCKING NOW ? $
01 < ( SLOWLY ) > $
I WAS TOLD THAT IF I WASN'T GOOD FATHER CHRISTMAS WOULDN'T C
OME . $
NOW YOU SAY THAT HOWEVER GOOD I AM HE 'LL NEVER COME AT ALL
. $
02 AND NEVER DID . $
01 NO PUNISHMENTS AND NO REWARDS . $
THAT 'S WHAT I NEVER KNEW AND THAT 'S WHAT I DO KNOW NOW LIK
E EVERYBODY ELSE . $
AND NOW ... $
< ( SHE LOOKS FROM ONE TO THE OTHER . ) > $
YOU 'RE NOBODY TO ME . $
#94 $
03 DEBORAH ! $
02 HOW DARE YOU ! $
01 NOBODY AND NOTHING . $
GO . $
02 NOT AGAIN . $
01 YES , GO GO GO ! $
NOBODY FILLS MY STOCKING , NOBODY TAKES MY BOOKS , NOBODY SL
EEPS IN MY BEDS . $
GET OUT ! $
GET OUT , GET OUT . $
GO AWAY ! $
02 OVER-EXCITED . $
03 I 'LL MAKE HER A HOT DRINK . $
< ( SHE RISES AND GOES TOWARDS THE KITCHEN . ) > $
01 KEEP OUT OF THERE ! $
IT ISN'T YOURS . $
MINE , MINE , MINE ! $
< ( SHE TRIES TO STOP SUSAN . ) > $
03 < ( BRUSHES HER ASIDE ) > $
INFANTILE , DEEBOLA , AND VERY NOISY . $
< ( SHE GOES INTO THE KITCHEN AND SHUTS THE DOOR . ) > $
02 < ( HARSHLY ) > $
I THINK YOU FORGET . $
THERE IS STILL PUNISHMENT . $
01 WHAT YOU DID JUST NOW ? $
YES , THERE 'S THAT . $
AND THERE 'S PUNISHMENT FOR YOU TOO . $
PUNISHMENT D . $
D FOR DARK . $
< ( SHE TAKES OUT FUSE . ) > $
02 NO , DEEBOLA , PLEASE . $
THIS IS CHILDISH . $
01 YES , ISN'T IT . $
POOR MASTER MARK 'S IN THE DARK . $
BUT HE 'S ONLY GOT TO PUT THE FUSE BACK . $
OF COURSE HE MIGHT ELECTROCUTE HIMSELF , POOR LITTLE CHAP .
$
HERE $
< ( HOLDING OUT FUSE ) > $
TRY . $
02 NO ... I ... NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT FUSES . $
01 TRY - OR GET OUT . $
02 DON'T BE A FOOL , DEEBOLA . $
01 < ( FIERCELY ) > $
DON'T CALL ME THAT - EVER AGAIN . $
03 < ( OFF ) > $
DEEBOLA ! $
< ( A LONG PAUSE ) > $
03 < ( OFF ) > $
WHERE ARE THE BISCUITS ? $
< ( ANOTHER PAUSE . ) > $
03 < ( OFF ) > $
ARE THEY IN THE CUPBOARD , DEEBOLA ? $
< ( THE KITCHEN DOOR OPENS . $
LIGHT FLOODS IN . ) > $
03 DEEBOLA , I ASKED YOU A QUESTION ! $
YOU 'RE IN THE DARK AGAIN ! $
01 SECOND SHELF . $
03 < ( BACK IN THE KITCHEN ) > $
DOWN OR UP ? $
01 DOWN . $
03 < ( OFF ) > $
IN A TIN ? $
01 < ( IN A VOICE NEAR WEEPING ) > $ $
WITH RABBITS ON IT . $
03 < ( OFF ) > $
WHAT ? $
#95 $
02 < ( TURNS AWAY FROM DEBORAH ) > $
A TIN WITH RABBITS . $
03 < ( OFF ) > $
COME AND FIND IT . $
02 ME ? $
03 < ( OFF ) > $
YES YOU . $
02 DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULD . $
03 < ( OFF ) > $
BECAUSE YOU 'LL EAT MOST OF THEM . $
< ( MARK HAS GONE . $
DEBORAH LOOKS AT THE FUSE . $
SHE GOES SLOWLY TO THE CLOAKROOM AND REPLACES IT . $
LIGHTS UP . $
SHE RETURNS , PICKS UP THE KUKRI . $
SHE SEES MARK'S COAT HANGING ON THE CHAIR AND SUDDENLY , VIC
IOUSLY SHE SLASHES AT IT . $
SHE THROWS DOWN THE KUKRI , PICKS UP THE COAT AND RIPS IT IN
 TWO . $
SHE LOOKS AT THE TWO HALVES AND LETS THEM FALL TO THE GROUND
 . $
THEN SHE SLUMPS DOWN ON THE CHAIR SHE SAT ON AT THE BEGINNIN
G AND SITS AS SHE SAT THEN . $
MARK COMES IN BRISKLY , DRUMMING ON THE BISCUIT TIN . $
AS HE PUTS IT ON THE TABLE HE SEES THE TWO HALVES OF HIS COA
T ON THE FLOOR . $
HE LOOKS AT DEBORAH AND BACK TO THE GARMENT . $
HE STEPS FORWARD AND PICKS UP BOTH PIECES . $
SUSAN IS HEARD , OFF . $
QUICKLY MARK HANGS THE COAT ON THE CHAIR SO THAT THE SLIT CA
NNOT BE SEEN . $
SUSAN ENTERS . ) > $
03 TEA-TIME ! $
DUCHY-SUCH MUMBUM ? $
02 CORSY-PORSE . $
< ( THEY LOOK AT DEBORAH . $
AT LAST SHE RISES AND JOINS THEM AT THE TABLE . ) > $
< CURTAIN > $
< END > $